#this is gonna be so tmi sorry i’m advance but | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenhypen · 1 year

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hi em! i was gonna make this anonymous but ta heck w tht LOL okay so this is gonna b a long one js bc i wanna b as clear as possible for u but i jus wanna kno ur opinion on this n im sorry if this sounds redundant (given what ur whole acc is abt) but i saw this tiktok that was basically talking abt how ppl who read rp (real person) fanfics r weird , disgusting , and freaks (that one hurt ngl😭) and ig bc i never interacted w ppl who read them i had no idea this was such a controversial thing yk? so it kinda hurt and i got hella defensive bc these fics have helped me thru some hard times n r my safe space (esp ur acc i love it sm ur fics r quick n easy reads but so so good! and i love tht u write wholesome sfw fics i don’t like / can’t read nsfw rp fics) and r good when i need a quick romance fix bc i have none irl (tmi fr sorry!) but honestly it made me feel horrible abt myself bc im like damn am i sick freak for reading this even tho i read the sfw n wholesome ones?? n they were sayin the y/n , self inserts were even worse! 😭 n idk if this makes me ignorant but for the life of me i couldn’t figure out what made it weird! nsfw ones r different but regular romance or fantasy? esp since i never see this take when ppl mention they used to read one direction fanfics or mindless behavior & august alsina ones (these were popular among the black community for context!) like everyone laughs n reminisces i feel like ppl r a lot more critical n harsh on kpop stans tbh but i even thought abt deleting my tumblr bc i felt wrong for doing so it made me question myself for awhile just being honest anyways i’ll get off my soapbox im so sorry this is so long i jus wanted to give as much context and detail as possible! if this is too much please disregard but idk i just wanted an opinion on this take from a fix writer and i assume u read some too correct me if i’m wrong! thanks so incredibly much in advance and i hope we can b friends one day! 🧸🎀✨💌💕🫶🏽

this is so real of you omg ok first of all, thank you for going out of your comfort zone to do this! things like this make me so happy cuz you coming out of your way to do this (comfort wise and time wise since it must’ve taken you a while to write sm, esp considering the technical difficulties 😭) makes it all the more meaningful. and i rlly appreciate you coming to me of all ppl too! so thank you!

secondly, i agree with you on all the things you had to say !! i was once in your shoes, and if i’m being completely honest, a part of me is still navigating this as well. like some things i still question for example is if there is rlly nothing wrong with this, why do i feel the need to hide that i read/write? but for the most part, rn i am definitely set on there being absolutely nothing wrong with this! i can definitely see where these other ppl are coming from if they had never thought much of fanfiction or reader inserts etc. bc it’s probably similar to how i felt before being more exposed to fanfiction. but imo these are fantasies i just imagine in my head anyway and are almost like dreams to me yk? and so imo, they’re harmless. in fact, writing and reading ffs help grow my creativity, which is smth i value. cuz not only am i doing this for entertainment, i’m also doing it for the art (this is in terms of writing more so than reading but can still apply to both). however, similar to you, i do believe that imagines can be taken too far, as that is what aligns with my beliefs, such as nsfw fics (which is not anything personal at all to nsfw writers!). that imo can be harmful for the mind and spirit etc. (sorry if this is getting too deep and personal 😭)

ugh this is honestly so nice to talk about and have someone relate to on this cuz literally the things you are saying describe me !!! and dw, i have and never had any love life,, it’s non existent, believe it or not! so dw, you’re not alone 😭 like we can be delulu tgt 😭😭 and ahahaha yesss like i can’t tell you the amount of times i considered deleting this app or stopping writing/reading. it was challenging to process. but after doing so, i have come to the conclusions i mentioned earlier (how i think reading sfw fics are harmless). it’s literally just a form of harmless entertainment lol so i don’t see why ppl have to be so judgmental about it and can’t just mind their own business 😭 so dw, coming from a fellow reader and someone who has faced the same dilemma, you are not at all a freak 😭 and don’t let anyone let you think otherwise 😤☹️

also i can’t go without saying a huge thank you for all the kind things you had to say about my works :((( <3 that is so sweet of you to say and is so encouraging. it’s smth i’m finding i need a lot of, esp lately, so i rlly appreciate that and it means a lot. this whole ask and talking about this is rlly quite meaningful to me tbh 😭 so thank you for coming to me and being so brave to bring this up! 🫶🏻 also, yes let’s be friends omg !! i’d love that 🥹🫶🏻

#thank you for this truly 😭#i feel so…. not alone anymore loll #em answers #thatsadoutsider <3 #also if you’re comfortable lmk your name!#i want to give you a more personal tag :>#only if you’re comfortable ofc! <3

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cozymochi · 6 months

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im so sorry people are being assholes in the comments of ur iz animatics :((( they bring such joy and are so well done!! forever grateful that you share you art <3 even if you decide to take them down i just wanted to let you know that you are appreciated <3<3<3 hoping your day goes well and you find small unexpected delights

I don’t plan on taking them down. That carnal part of me gets a lil’ joy when I still see nice comments anyway. It’s only been a year, but I still get comments! So that’s crazy.

BUT!!

Another fear I do have is the response if I do post again, and it’s completely different than what those 2.4k subs are expecting to see. I’ve already warned about it literally a year in advance, and then again very recently in multiple places. Idk why I SHOULD be uneased by it, but it’s not like IZ fans are quiet when it comes to their distaste when something changes. *cough.* It’s part of why I’ve distanced myself from that fandom (there’s a myriad of reasons but still).

Insanity incoming:

I don’t have immediate plans to make more animatics, they’re kind of long term thing to consider. Back when I used to make them I had NOTHING but free time and my biggest concern was feeding myself cuz my home environment was horrid and I had zero means of leaving since I lived in bum fuck nowhere! Since my last yt upload I moved out, was in a car wreck (not even 2 days in), my own car went through thousands of dollars in repairs, i got a job, went through a period where I worked nearly 100hrs for several months consecutively with hardly any breaks, and to think! It wasn’t and it’s still not sustainable. Things changed. And I do not want to go “home.” After being forced to visit family again a month ago I especially don’t want to go back.

The channel was literally a dumping ground. I got those 2k subs when I wasn’t posting for a year. So! You can imagine I might not be prioritizing a channel I only used as a dumping ground or in a state to make fully or even barely boarded videos and shitposts weekly or monthly. Idk what these people want from me schedule wise. I make $0 from it, and monetizing for a few cents isn’t worth it. I didn’t even get paid when I made thumbnails and assets for bigger channels lmfao. Yeah, I did do that. Wouldn’t know tho. Paid in “exposure” hurr hurr or “omg i need that money myself XDD cmon” whatever backwards excuse.

So what’s next in line but a bunch of strangers with fickle attention being passive aggressive and demanding I make more stuff when I say multiple times that I don’t intend to, and if I do (big if) it WON’T be what they came here for. They aren’t paying me. It’s not like I have a gajillion other things to be concerned about.

…Okay, that was a tangent.

Those few condescending comments make me just wanna outright cancel what iz stuff was left on the backburner. It was more like an indefinite hiatus until I can stomach finishing them. The files take up space anyway for the projects I’m actually interested in. Even if all of them are purely hypotheticals until I can get my focus together (which isn’t likely to happen anytime soon).

sorry about the TMI rant for a second but!! MAN!! It’s frustrating! If anything I could very well take them down. But, I won’t. Besides, for all I know some tiktok took some and it’s getting an exponentially higher amount of views anyway. I should at least keep mine…

It’s not like i don’t WANT to use it for actual new things, but the sheer pressure keeps me away. I get enough pressure to make animatics offline as it is. And if someone out there is gonna be all like “well who cares what those kids think” believe me, I get it and I promise don’t care. But at the same time it’s egghhhhhh. I delete the comments anyway.… however that doesn’t mean they still won’t bug me.

Considering all of the above it’s a miracle I don’t just take them down.

#cozy ask #Any of the condescending comments I just delete anyway.#i dont have the chops to be a ‘content creator’ or whatever robotic term people use nowadays #im not a content creator!#i just make shit then pin it on the fridge #i promise the annoying remarks are few and far between. its mostly just quoting the video or nice stuff #I dont even read them often. i just check if im bored or on accident

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agendratum · 2 years

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ok so it’s been 3 thousand years and i had the tabs with the tag games opened this entire time so it’s finally time to actually reply to them, and i’ll put them all in one post cause i think my brain won’t let me tag that many people rn

10 characters, 10 fandoms, 10 tags

tagged by @kissporsche thank you!! now forgive me i will be desperately trying to remember any type of media that i know and characters in it that i might like (my mind - empty)

1. kinnporsche - pete (yes i will also start with an obvious one, idk if anyone noticed that i love pete but now you know that i love pete)

2. word of honor - gu xiang (sorry wkx for being second in my heart, but i think he would understand)

3. the untamed - nie huaisang (apparently currently in the moment, but fav cql character is always a tough question)

4. the devil judge - jung sunah (i support bisexual rights and i support bisexual wrongs)

5. tgcf - shi qingxuan (ignoring all the spoilers, they can’t hurt me if i don’t see them)

6. legend of fei - a-fei

7. the locked tomb - dulcinea/cytherea (listen-)

8. advance bravely - li zhenzhen (i had to)

9. love in the air - sky (he is my son and i haven’t even watched it ksljadsa)

10. svsss - shang qinghua (based on the first book and memes)

i did it, i remembered fandoms, now moving on to

tropes tag game

tagged by @braceletofteeth thank you!!

found family or soulmates || slow burn or established but complicated || enemies-to-friends-to-lovers or best friends-to-lovers || love at first sight or get back together || morally grey character or unreliable narrator || sunshine character or sarcastic character || self-sacrificing or teamwork || fire-forged friends or childhood friends || description-heavy or dialogue-heavy || fluff or angst || high school au or college (professors) au || flower symbolism or color symbolism || hero from the start or reveal the hero near the end || body swap or gender swap || bed sharing or clothes sharing || magic au or human au || de-aged or future fic

🍂🍁 AUTUMN EDITION 🍁🍂

tagged by @misspoetree thank you! so smart of me to be doing this in almost the end of november oof

tea or hot chocolate, cozy books or halloween movies, plaid or corduroy (had to look this word up wow), foggy mornings or twinkly nights, orange or black, pumpkin or apple pie, wool or velvet, picking fruit or carving pumpkins, libraries or coffee shops, cinnamon or peanut butter, spooky or cozy halloween, candles or fairy lights

put your playlist on shuffle

rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, and then tag 10 people. no skipping!

also tagged by @kissporsche thank you again!! the only issue is i’m currently using like three different services to listen to music so to keep it fair (to myself) i’m gonna take turns shuffling my likes/playlists on all three of them for this one ooof

1. fifteen minutes - mike krol (i know this is from steven universe klasjd)

2. dark (x-file) - (G)I-DLE

3. sorry, i love you - stray kids

4. clear ft. mothica (shawn wasabi remix) - pusher (i don’t even know if the title is correct for this one)

5. give me your tmi - stray kids

6. mirror mirror - milli, f.hero, changbin of stray kids (i knew this one before and still didn’t realise that this is what us danced to on the tour, can you believe it)

7. twisted - MISSIO

8. taste - stray kids (did it actually shuffle the songs tho?)

9. scream - dreamcatcher

10. love stuck - mother mother

okaaay, do i’m gonna tag some peeps here, but obviously only do it if you want, and only the one/s you want to do, no pressure, you know the drill: @vegasandhishedgehog @greenwitching @braceletofteeth @trueplainhearts @t4tvegaspete @sugarbabywenkexing @yilinglaozuhot @the-rat-king-shriggy @guzhu-furen @petesvegas

#tag game #but also like i love tag games why do i always tag so long to reply to them aklsdj #<<< is a tag i used already obviously #dying at the fact that i typed ''tag'' instead of ''take''

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yeosatinyngz · 2 years

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hii, the one who requested bpd reader again! im not sure if this is too much but ive been doing pretty well lately (being responsible and taking my meds, going to therapy, support groups, and all that) but lately ive been getting a little too tempted to relapse so, if its not to hurtful of an idea, is there any chance you could write some headcanons with the bonten guys for a S/O whos doing their best to not relapse in MDMA addiction. its not an emergency by any means, i just think itd be nice to have a little motivation on the days it gets a little too tempting. i get if its too tough of a subject, thank you in advance :) (also sorry if this is tmi)

Hi again, I really wanted to give you motivation so of course I’ll fulfill your request. I hope that this will help you on the days you really need it. I wish the best for you! <3 (Sorry for the long wait, I hope you have a wonderful day/night. Also if this isn’t what you wanted you can always tell me and I can rewrite your request!)

Bonten encouraging their S/O to not relapse

↳GN Reader

Request Rules ➣ Masterlist

-He’s trying his best, A for effort

-He would search online for tips and then recite them back to you (but the thing is that he sounds so robotic when he’s telling you ways to prevent relapsing that it doesn’t really help)

-He’s always observing you and calculating in his head on what he should do and how to make you happy

-Best S/O, but extra af (in the best way possible)

-Would make a slideshow explaining reasons why you shouldn’t relapse (he got a little too passionate with the slides)

-Have long talks with you and make sure he’s always a call away or a feet away

-He would buy you a plushie that you could talk about your problems with when he’s not there with you. A bonus is that you can also take your frustration out on that plushie😀

-I’m sorry to say this but he is the worst influence, he wouldn’t be able to encourage you…

-Not gonna lie he would convince you to relapse💀

-Definition of actions speak louder than words

-Always does these kind gestures (Like sharing his food with you and we know how picky he is with who he shares his food with, you’re the only exception🥺)

-He knows that he’s not the best at communicating so he would leave letters for you saying how he’ll always be there for you and how much he loves you

-Best S/O pt. 2

-Often takes you out to do something fun to get your mind off your addiction

-You don’t have to say anything and he knows what to do

-Listens to you whenever you need someone to talk to about your problems

-Super supportive, and always so patient with you

-Provides everything you need

-He would book a spa retreat trip just so you could relax and unwind

-Asian mom mode activated: you say you like one thing and he’ll buy you a whole bulk of that item

-Constantly asks if you need anything and that he’ll get it for you

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lo-frequency · 3 years

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Hi I love your blogand your writinh so much it's so good!

Could I request a shoto/denki and toga x chubby reader (if you're not comfortable writing with toga you can just to denki and shoto) thanks!

Fortunately for you, anon, I did them all! (and it's kinda long, so my bad lol) Also, there's mention of insecurity in Toga's, but it quickly turns to fluff. As always, please enjoy!

Denki

-Believe it or not, Denki was nervous to confess to you because he was afraid of being rejected. You’re so cute and cool and that he was sure there’s no way you actually returned his feelings. It was worth a shot, tho. So imagine his joy when you said you felt the same way :)

-Rants about you all the time to his friends, to the point where they feel like they know you personally before you’ve even met. They also get to hear all the tmi stories about what the two of you do alone, because he can’t help himself (if they don’t walk away first, lol).

-He knew you looked squishy before, but couldn’t believe how soft your skin was when he finally got to hold you. It was almost unfair. He often finds himself caressing your skin mindlessly whenever you’re close together, hand always ghosting across your arm or hand (or your thigh ;) ).

-Lays back on you to play video games, his head cushioned by your pillowy chest and the rest of his body situated between your legs as you watch him play. Play in his hair or rub his arms and he will fall asleep. The tingly feeling he gets when cuddling with you is his favorite kind of electricity.

-Zaps your butt “by accident”

-Easily flustered, but he tries to play it off with his cool act. Just kiss his cheek or tell him he’s handsome and watch him ramble about knowing he’s “irresistible” until he flushes red up to his ears.

-Denki can be pretty corny at times but he does have his serious moments, mostly when you two are alone together. He shows you what’s beneath his goofy facade, a boy with dreams and aspirations just like everyone else. After seeing this side of him, it’s a little irritating to hear people reduce him to an idiot (although he does have his moments 💀)

-Them thighs tho 😏 “Dang babe, you been working out?” “Not really, Kaminari” He clucks his tongue. “Sheesh, imagine being that thicc...naturally” he says, shaking his head as if it were a shame.

-Truly believes he has the best s/o in the whole school. Does not take offense to being called a simp 🤷🏾‍♀️.

-Wasn’t aware of it at first, but became super attracted to people with your same body type. His eyes always lingered on them in public, and he couldn’t help but think they were kinda hot (sorry, y/n)

-Very affectionate, but loves to receive as much as give, so please give this man plenty of kithes and hugs, he gets the shakes if he doesn’t get his daily dose of Y/n love.

-Y’all are so silly together, always cracking jokes or giggling about something. You eventually develop a similar sense of humor, and have so many inside jokes people can’t decipher your conversation. If anybody has anything negative to say about y’all: Denki puts his hand over his earpiece and says to you (from right next to him) “Pikachu to Big Sexy, I’m picking up some negative vibes on the radar, do you copy?” And you, holding your hand up to your own ear, say “Affirmative, doing a diagnostic scan...it’s a hater, confirmed.” Cue the obnoxious laughter, lmaoo

-Never forgets the anniversaries or relationship milestones. He even remembers the date of yall’s first kiss, and thinks about it every time the date passes (although he wouldn’t tell you that tho, that would be too sappy, even for him).

Shoto

-The way you and Shoto became acquainted was a little unorthodox. You fell on him during a training session one day, and the feeling of your soft body pressed against his was a new experience for him, to put it mildly. Shoto stood up from it a changed man. Call it an awakening, if you will.

-You were a little put off by all his staring since that incident, thinking he didn’t like you despite all your profuse apologies. But after Izuku dropped hints that it was probably fascination rather than contempt, your relationship progressed smoothly from there (thanks mostly to your efforts, since Shoto had no clue how to approach you).

-Shoto still had a staring problem once y’all became official, too. Whenever you asked him what he was looking at, he was not ashamed to tell you exactly why: you are too fine not to stare (ok, maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that)

-Not overly affectionate in public, but has a tendency to always stand or sit close to you whenever he can. Just sharing the same space is intimate to him.

-Sharing a bowl of soba noodles 💕

-Buys you expensive gifts all the time, and loves to see you using them. Especially if it’s clothes, it’s like a piece of him is always with you even when you’re not together (plus, it shows you’re all his ;) ).

-Now, I’m gonna tell y’all a little secret. It’s pretty shocking, so be warned: Shoto sometimes pretends to be oblivious when you hint at wanting affection, just to make you beg for it. Maybe you brush your hand against his, and he moves it. Or maybe he saw you lean for a kiss and he casually turns the other way just to hear you complain. He likes it, makes him feel wanted.

-Devious, I know, but just get even 😏

-When y’all are alone, he loves when you hold him close and just sit there, peacefully enjoying each other’s presence. He also likes to lay on your lap while reading a book or watching tv with you, slowly nodding off as you comb your fingers through his hair.

-Obsessed with you, but not in an unhealthy way, it’s just that you’ve become such a big part of his life that he kinda...thinks about you all the time. Shoto is canonically not very talkative, but I think that with you, he’d open up more about his true thoughts and feelings. So when he shoots you that blank stare when his classmates are up to some bull, you know exactly what it means.

-Also revels in knowing you that well, too. He’d flex how much he knows about you to the other people and sometimes unintentionally embarrasses you in the process

-For example: “Here Y/n, a cherry popsicle just for you!” Shoto immediately hands you some napkins before adding “Y/n doesn’t usually eat cherry popsicles, they always drop the red juice on their clothes.” Like gee, good looking out Shoto...thanks for telling the whole class I can’t eat without messing up my clothes 💀. He’s sweet tho, he has good intentions.

Toga

-She made it very clear from the beginning that she liked you, and with how smitten she was, who were you to refuse her (aggressive) advances?

- She thought your plump figure was just so cute, one of the cutest things she’d ever seen, and she quickly developed an unhealthy obsession with squeezing your chub.

-When you two are together, Toga is always attached to you in some way, whether she’s hanging off your arm or has her arms looped around your shoulders.

-Starts to eat the same foods you eat, borrow your clothes all the time, listen to your favorite artists, whatever way she could become closer to you

-Writes you love letters or sends you cute text messages all the time, you’re always on her mind, even when she’s on missions. “My Y/n is wayy cuter than you! Let’s get this over quick so I go back to them, ok? 🥰 🔪🔪”

-I know y’all were waiting for this...she most definitely uses her quirk on you. Toga loves you so much, she wants to become you. So one day, you finally allow her to give it a try.

-She tells you to close your eyes, and when she gives you permission to open them, you find yourself staring...yourself in the face. And you do not like it 🤢. There’s something so strange about seeing yourself in 3rd person, in all dimensions. Is this how you look to her, all the time? You quickly lose interest in this little charade, looking everywhere but at yourself as Toga prances around doing sexy poses in your body and giggling. However, when she sees your reaction, she stops.

- “Hm? What’s wrong, Y/n?” she asks with a tilt of (your) her head. You glance at yourself, then look away again. “This is so weird. I don’t like looking at myself” you say, grimacing at the slight bounce and jiggle of your body when she walks toward you.

-In Toga’s eyes, you were absolutely adorable. In fact, she was getting a little hot and bothered just taking peeks at herself (you) in the mirror. She’s used to feeling you up for sure, but being you was a whole other experience. Though, she can understand your insecurity. After all, it’s hard to live in a world that constantly tells you your true self is abnormal. She knows from experience.

-So, she comes up to you with a flirty grin on her face...and starts showering you with kisses, in your body! You start to protest, weirded out by the feeling of your own lips on your cheeks but she would not relent. Toga was determined to show you what being loved (by you) felt like from her perspective, with your irresistible “imperfections” and all 💕

Thanks for tuning in! :)

#bnha x chubby reader #chubby reader #x chubby reader #mha x chubby reader #todoroki x chubby reader #toga x chubby reader #denki x chubby reader #bnha x reader #bnha x gn!reader #plus size reader #todoroki x reader #toga x reader #himiko toga x reader #denki x reader #bnha x plus size reader #bnha headcanons

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jehovahhthickness · 2 years

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Hova, this is kind of TMI but I’m really hoping maybe women on here could help me. I gave birth to my son last march & I had a 2nd degree tear. Well, it’s almost a year later & I still have a lot of pain in my perineum. Feels very raw, tender & sore. Especially after sex & around my period. I can’t use tampons. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me as no women I’m close to can relate or have experienced this. My doctor said my perineum is thin, although I’m not understanding why I’m experiencing so much discomfort. Any other women going/gone through this? Thanks so much in advance…

That shit doesn’t sound right at all and I’ve never had a baby before but I think after a few months, your womb should’ve been healed already.

You need a new doctor asap. Preferably a black woman or a brown woman doctor that’s gonna take your concerns seriously.

It’s about to be a damn year and the fact you can’t have sex or even use a damn tampon is a huge red flag for me.

It’s the “perineum is thin” line for me… you should’ve drop kicked that doctor because that’s not a good enough answer.

Do you remember getting stitched up??

As a gyno, making sure that you are close to being back to normal should’ve been a priority for them.

I am soooo sorry that you’re dealing with this! I hope you find the answers you’re looking for. I hope you’re doing okay mentally at least and congrats on your baby! Wishing good health and a good life for the both of you 💓

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kuroosweakness · 3 years

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despite the many typos i made in the last ask, i’m sending in the emergency request ig 😣 ty in advance:) so uh, how about some akaashi and tsuki comforting their s/o who’s goin through a lil depressive episode?? (not to get tmi but i struggle to even bother to eat one meal oftentimes, im also very moody; going from moderately happy to extremely sad and it usually last for a few days, and overall, despite me being an introvert and also not wanting to socialize outta fear i really want sum luv and reassurance that everything’s gonna be okay from my two boyfies(i would add sakusa but i dont wanna stress u out bc im a lot okay🗿)) IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE IM SORRY IM LIKE SO DUMB also this is a very long ask 😓

akaashi, tsukishima, and sakusa comforting s/o who’s going through a depressive episode

akaashi:

- akaashi will constantly remind you that it’s just an episode! things will get better, and before they do, he’ll stay with you to take care of you

- “you’ll get through this, love. and then you’ll be able to look back feel proud of how strong you are”

- he really hopes that no matter how sad you may feel, you won’t push him away. akaashi wants to be able to help you in every way he can :’

- what usually makes you happy? akaashi, being the best boyfriend, will look and search for ways for you to smile. he remembers the things you talked about weeks ago along with the smiles you gave him months ago

- daily meditation session. he’ll sit by your side, hand-in-hand, and take deep breaths with you to calm down and have a clear mind

tsukishima:

- happy you = happy tsukki so seeing you in a depressive episode really tugs strings in his heart

- tsukki will become more optimistic and affectionate. he needs to balance the positivity and negativity. the first thing he’ll do when he wakes up, is to roll over and kiss you so you can start your day off right

- he’ll randomly bring you food so you can eat. if you don’t want to, that’s fine. but you need to eat three meals a day! your mental health may not be at it’s best but you still need to keep up with your health!! tsukki will not let you suffer in front of him

- tsukki will go with whatever you feel like doing. if you feel like sleeping in until 2pm, then he’ll tuck you in. if you have a sudden craving for fast food, he’ll be waiting with car keys in hand. if you want extra affection, just tell him and he’ll be happy to provide

sakusa:

- i want to say he hasn’t notice a change in your demeanor but he has. he pays more attention to you than he’s willing to admit

- “you’re not alone, y/n. there’s millions of germs on you... and there’s also me”

- just before falling asleep, he’ll stare at the ceiling and ask you, “...how was your day today?” and a simple question will turn into a deep conversation that’ll last until you or he falls asleep

- sakusa = patient boyfriend. he’ll become a lot softer and gentle with you. no pressure, no expectations.

- did i mention sakusa likes patting you on the head? well, it’s mentioned now. if he randomly pats you on the head, it’s his way of telling you that he’s there for you

#akaashi x reader #tsukishima x reader #sakusa x reader #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu emergency requests #haikyuu x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei #sakusa kiyoomi #akaashi keiji

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yuthoe · 3 years

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Day 29: Covert (PENTAGON: Ko Shinwon)

LONG TIME NO MTM!! work kicked my ass this past week, so this is the most i can give. i'm definitely completing the whole list tho, even if a lot of it is late. it's almost the 30th here, but im still gonna post this anyway. today's May Trope Mayhem prompt is:

Day 29: Reverse Verse/Trope Inversion

so i decided to do a "fake NOT" dating premise, and then decided on shinwon cuz i think he'd be the type to have trouble keeping up appearances (like a relationship). this was surprisingly longer than i thought it would be, but i'm pretty happy with it.

PAIRING: Ko Shinwon x reader. GENRE: fic, fluff. WARNINGS: none. WORD COUNT: 1,135.

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Shinwon pulls back his hand just shy of touching your back. There are cameras everywhere and being overly familiar isn’t really the best idea when you’re trying to hide a relationship. The solo gig he’s on doesn’t have a live audience so the cozy ensemble comprising the three hosts and you, another guest idol, is quite comfortable. It’s easier to keep mum about something when there aren’t a hundred pairs of eyes watching his every move, after all.

Unfortunately, he felt too comfortable—the hosts are really fun and they pry out TMI easily from him that for a while he forgot he was actually on a show. Throughout a whole segment he kept sneaking glances at you and watching your reactions to the comedic bickering on the other couch.

Looking back, he made it painfully obvious that he’s interested in you; he just hopes the cameras weren’t trained on him at the time. Oh, he can’t wait for all the edits and comments on the internet and a scolding from his manager.

Now, he clutches his fist in the other hand and stands next to you at the table rigged up by the production crew, trying to listen to the hosts’ explanations of the segment as cold sweat drips down his back.

The woman in thick-framed spectacles and a bobbed haircut invites you to pick from the basket of balls containing a keyword you’ll have to act out with Shinwon, that he has to guess.

“Okay, here I go,” you say, plunging your hands into the basket and rummaging around, finally pulling out a green ball a second later.

Shinwon steps back to the other half of the stage and watches as you open the ball and read out the keyword. You raise your head, scrunching up your face as you turn back to the hosts and show them the piece of paper.

“Aaahh, what is it?” he calls.

“It’s so hard,” you answer, looking at the word again before folding it and putting it back inside the ball. “But I think it’s doable. I think. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Shinwon laughs loud, but groans afterwards, mind completely on the challenge now.

“I’m just gonna go for it,” you say, stepping over to him. Once close enough, you whisper, “I’m so sorry in advance.”

It takes him a second to register your words, but the reply dies on his lips when you launch yourself at him and grip his shirt tight. He hears the hosts squealing behind him.

“You promised!” you suddenly say, and Shinwon really can’t stop the confused expression on his face. “You promised we would go, and I even took the day off for it!”

Shinwon is drawing a blank, no idea what the keyword could be. It takes him a few moments to realize he can actually reply to you. “Wh… Where were we supposed to go?” Another burst of laughter from the hosts.

You’re pouting so cute and clutching at the ends of his sleeves, bouncing on the balls of your feet in petulance. “Come ooonn, don’t tell me you forgot about it—we’ve been talking about going for ages!” You break character for a moment to widen your eyes at him, a silent, Come on, you know this gesture, before playing up the cutesy vibe more. “I know you’re scared of them, but you promised!”

“Scared?” one of the hosts says. “Oh, that might narrow it down. Can you think of anything you’re scared of Shinwon-sshi?”

“Oh, I’m scared of a lot of things, so that doesn’t really help,” he says, hands coming up to unconsciously hold your arms—it’s on instinct at this point that he does it, especially when you’re doing your best to act all cute and make him give in to something.

“But they’re really cute tho,” you say, pursing your lips and giving him your best puppy dog look—Shinwon gasps.

“Dog cafe! Is it ‘dog cafe’?” he yells, and the hosts jump and shout, and you break away to celebrate.

“‘Dog cafe’ is correct!” the male host says, clapping at their performance. “How did you get the answer that quick, though?”

“Oh, you’re right,” the bespectacled host agrees, patting her colleague on the shoulder. “Y/N-sshi didn’t give any big clue on it.”

“Ah,” Shinwon says, filtering the appropriate words in his head.

This dog cafe issue was actually the subject of your first big fight, about three months into your relationship—In a moment of weakness brought about by your adorableness, he’d promised that you’d go to that dog cafe you’d wanted to visit. Yes, he’s afraid of animals. Yes, he was serious. Yes, he did forget about it and you got mad at him. Shinwon looks upon that argument with sadness, but the conversation afterwards resulted in you finding out about his phobia, so ever since then you didn’t pressure him to go to any animal cafes anymore.

“I’m actually scared of small animals,” he says, moving with you towards the guests’ couch. “And there was this one time pre-debut where the members and I had to go to an animal cafe for a mission, and I was so scared of the puppies I nearly fainted.”

You’re nodding along to his explanation. “Yes, and we were quite close as trainees so he told me about it.” The lie slips easily from your lips; while it’s true that you were trainees at the same time, you barely said a word to each other until Pentagon’s and your debut. It wasn’t out of animosity, rather you both were just too chicken to talk because of your massive crush on the other. “I’d tease him about it every now and then.”

All the hosts let out “aahh”s of understanding, once again applauding Shinwon for getting your clues and you for acting so well. There’s a clap of the slate and the production head calls for a 15-minute break before Shinwon takes his turn, and he finally breathes a sigh of relief, sagging against the back of the couch.

You turn to him, eyes apologetic. “I’m sorry, Shinwon,” you say quietly. “I couldn’t think of anything else.”

He sits up straight away. “No, no, it’s fine, Y/N. Honestly, I wouldn’t have known what to do either if I’d gotten that keyword.” He rubs a hand on the back of his neck. “We’re trying to keep us being together under wraps, but I think I’m doing a terrible job at being inconspicuous.”

“Ugh,” you say, leaning an elbow on the couch’s arm. “I could say the same for myself.” You sigh and look at him, eyes and smile soft and all for him. “We’re really bad at keeping secrets, aren’t we.”

Shinwon smiles back, hands itching to hold you, lips itching to kiss you. “Yeah. We really are.”

#kdiarynet #pentagon #shinwon #ko shinwon #pentagon shinwon #pentagon shinwon scenario #pentagon shinwon imagine #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagine #shinwon scenario #shinwon imagine #fic: mine #fic: shinwon #fic: not spicy #theme: may trope mayhem 2021

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maerenee930 · 3 years

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okie dokie friends, we’re about to get really personal and pretty tmi and i’m so sorry in advance! i need to talk/vent for a moment. (tw - mentions of period pain, bleeding or blood. basically pms bullshit. also, i swear a bit as well.)

alright so i was supposed to start my period 2 weeks ago and nothing. my stress has been so high that i haven’t had it. but i’ve gone through the emotions and felt some physical symptoms like i would normally on my period, so i basically have been pmsing for over a month and i’m losing my fucking mind lol. occasionally i’ll notice some old blood (very little) when i go to the bathroom but that’s it. and now my stupid body is doing that thing when i feel a like stabbing sensation all up in my business and it also feels like when you’re carving pumpkins for halloween and you have to scrape and get all the seeds out, it feels like someone is doing that up there (like gutting a pumpkin. like how it feels when you’re scraping it, i imagine how i’m feeling currently is how a pumpkin feels when we hallow them out 😂😭) and jesus christ on a mother fucking cracker, if this pain doesn’t stop and the stabbing and scraping feeling doesn’t go away soon, i’m gonna go lay in bed and just not move anymore. i can’t with this shit! i’m tired of being a uterus owner! 😂😭 if i could just bleed and get this shit over with, that would be great 🙃

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kakakakashi · 4 years

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Ok Ik your requests are closed so this isn’t a request I just have to put this out into the world lol. Imagine kibas S/O’s scent changes when they’re ovulating and he gets extra...enthusiastic lol. Omg or what if his s/o’s scent changes cuz she’s pregnant and at first kibas just like ??? Wtf why you smell like that and then he figures it out and that’s how he finds out he’s gonna be a dad! If you can’t tell I’m a whore for kiba and I’m sleep deprived. Love you love your blog!

Okay, so like... here’s the thing. Idk if you’ve ever had a dog, but I hc Kakashi & Kiba can smell when you’re fertile, aroused, or on your period for a reason. That’s because dogs know. You know how dogs smell your crotch? Well, I know, in my experience, they always have a reason.

Sorry in advance if you think this is TMI, but honestly, I don’t care, and I don’t see any reason to be ashamed of having a menstrual cycle. In fact, I think we should all talk about it more because it’s an important part of health to those with uteruses? uteri? whatever the plural form of uterus is. Anyway. Let’s get into it.

My dear family friend has two dogs who I absolutely adore, and whenever I’m on my period, they come up, smell my crotch, and check to see if I’m okay. It makes sense given I smell like blood. It’s always so sweet to me because you can tell how serious they get when their tail stops wagging, and they have this serious expression on their face while they check you out. I always thank them for making sure I’m okay before they go on their way once they realize it’s just my period. However, they also know when I’m fertile because they smell the usual discharge that comes with being aroused and/or fertile. When they smell this, they usually sniff for a bit and then go along their merry way. I’ve had other dogs who continually sniff my crotch when in this situation as well, though. Either way, my point is that dogs know.

Now, Kakashi and Kiba have smelling on par with that of a dog. This is why I personally hc that they can smell it. Now, of course they’re gonna be “enthusiastic,” as you said, because like... Kiba’s just a horny caveman who has to control himself around you 25/8, and Kakashi’s never gonna turn down the opportunity when you smell like that.

Okay, now when it comes to Kiba getting you pregnant, I think he would be able to smell it. Again, dogs tend to know. The human body has certain things that happen when pregnancy happens, and subtle chemical changes that may not be abnormal for us can easily be picked up by animals. I know a lot of stories about people who had dogs get really protective over them for no reason, and then later, they realized they were pregnant. I feel like the same would definitely go for Kiba. Although, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, so I agree with you 100%. He’s gonna be confused at first, but then, it’s gonna click, and he’s gonna get SUPER overprotective of you. Nobody can look at you without him getting defensive. Just stroke his hair & tell him that it’s okay, and he’ll immediately melt & go all heart eyes.

Ugh! He’d be so excited, but like... he has no idea how to do anything! He’s like “let’s paint the baby’s room! Wait, how do you paint a room?” “Lets babyproof the house... Wait, what do we need to babyproof the house?”

He’s a sweetheart who will give you the world, but you gotta be the brain cell in the relationship. Ugh! What a teddy bear! I want to snuggle him!

#cherry chats with friends #in this house we love dog boys! they are puppies & i love them.#Anonymous #cherry posts about ninja nerds

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ofphcenixes · 5 years

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( ooc note about why i am the absolute worst ! )

this is such a random note i know, and admittedly i’ve spent the entire day composing this. so if it’s a little disjointed or illogical, i want to apologise in advance ! however i have included this nice gif of luke - it doesn’t have anything to do with the post, just thought it would make it more appealing dkjfgdf. admittedly this is going to be a bit of a Long Boi™, but it is kinda.... relevant if you’ve ever tried to write/plot with me, or are wondering what’s going on with nate. behold, all your answers are below ! i’ll put a tldr at the bottom plus a nifty little vine compilation for anyone that reads this but, please don’t feel pressured to do so ! ya girl is just a Mess dkfjgd.

the first thing i want to address is the elephant in the room; nathaniel ballantyne. i know a lot of people are curious about his fate, his place in the plot drop, why he vanished so much earlier than everyone else. is he actually guilty ? is he a martyr ? is he a red herring ? well, here’s the tea on mr nathaniel ballantyne:

he is on indefinite hiatus.

a lot of people probably wonder why. i will get into the specifics of the why in a little bit (when i said this was a Long Boi i was not kidding lmfao), but basically... he’s a very difficult character to write. i am not a veteran rper, and in all honesty, i can count on my hands the amount of rps i’ve been in. and there are only 5 characters i’ve ever written about and cared enough to remember. one of those is nate. for those of you that know him, he is a strange and eccentric character. entirely up his own ass at times, pretentious as hell. but he, to me, was a character i grew attached to. he was different from people i normally write, and despite how abstract he was, he was.... realistic to me. my deep rooted attachment to him is why it took me so long to see how hard it was for me to write replies with him, to understand the guilt i felt any time i plotted or wrote with him, and the fact he was so mentally taxing it would take five times as much time to write a reply for him than it would any other character. but the sad truth is, even though i only felt guilt related to him, even though i haven’t had muse for him honestly for months now, i kept him. because i love him, even if he isn’t loved by many others. and so part of the reason he is now where he is is the simple fact that i know he didn’t mesh with the group, and that’s okay ! he was a very difficult character to reply to, and now that he is gone, i feel that burden of guilt lifting already.

as for his plot related departure, the truth is i didn’t have the heart to kill him off, hence why he kinda is just out there in a weird in between space dkjfgdf. and ( as i’ll explain below ) if my life ever does even out at any point, i really want to bring him back should there be space for him. so this indefinite hiatus was made for many reasons, and it absolutely broke my heart to have to get to this point. i love nate, and i am going to miss him. and i hope that in due time, i will have the capacity to bring him back soon ! but in case i don’t, i just want everyone to know that i appreciate every second i spent writing with you all on nate, and that the time and effort people poured into him means the world to me. and i’m so, so sorry to the people who are disappointed in me for this, because i know there are probably a few. i have let so many of you down, and honestly this is a burden i am going to carry for a very long time. i am going to message people tomorrow when i am more Coherent so, i promise to do my best to atone for this kgdf.

but to segue into that a little more ( oh look, another elephant in the room ! what is this, dumbo 2: electric boogaloo ), as an admin, i know there are expectations we are supposed to meet. examples we should set. precedents we have to lay down.

and i know i have disappointed every single one of you in this rp.

from my slow ( to non-existent ) dash activity, for the anxiety that has left me unable to reply to dms or reply in the main group chat, to even the fear of godmodding in ask memes on a thursday. i know this seems perfectly illogical to most, and again, i completely understand the disappointment that so many of you feel towards me. and it’s that very disappointment which djkgdf ironically has made it harder for me to get on and be the admin that you all deserve.

the real difficult thing about all of this is, i love veritas. and for those of you who were in veritas 1, would know that this is not who i usually am. this experience is not representative of the person i want to be, nor the rper that i usually present myself as. but as to avoid going into too triggering content and bothering you all with tmi details about my life problems lmfao, please rest assured that these past few months have been. absolutely brutal for me. from almost losing my opa to illness, from ongoing family issues and expectations, being kicked out of home among a list of other shit, my mental health has been as low as gfkdgdf it has ever been in my life tbh, and it’s been the hardest thing in the world to get on. all my attentions with veritas has been in the main, as the main is a very taxing job ( as you know, we are very plot centric ! ) and i would more often than not get so worn out with being an admin, my characters fell by the wayside. not to mention, as sort of dkfgjdf touched on before, i have massive anxiety when it comes to messaging people. why ? i don’t know. especially as i have wanted to plot with all of you extensively and deeply since we opened, and reading every single app made my heart beat a little faster with joy. i am so honoured to be an admin here, and each and every one of you are such an incredible writer and person that i can’t help but feel overwhelmed and guitlty about how much i have let you all down. especially for those who sent me dms that i either forgot about or never replied to because i got so anxious, i feel so guilty every day about it all and i just wish i could go back in time and change it.

and the reality is, if i wasn’t an admin and co-creator of this group, i probably would have dropped out a long time ago, give the space to someone worthy, and i wouldn’t be filled with so much guilt. but the truth is, i am a selfish person dgdgdf. veritas has been that sort of dkfgjdf good, steady thing in my life that i looked forward to, and i couldn’t bear the thought of losing that. each and every one of you create the fabric that is this amazing atmosphere, and even though i’m less seen and heard compared to most others in this group, being part of veritas gives me a sense of belonging. and in a strange sense, a home. yes, i know i was selfish, and yes, i should have handled things much better than i did. but you all need to know from the bottom of my heart how sorry i am for everything that has transpired. ):

but i think the worst part of it all is that, my beautiful co-admin maaria, and my best friend. among letting you all down, i know i have let her down the most. and i just want to take my soapbox moment for a second here and really put light into how much maaria has done for this group. especially when my own life has been in shambles, and knowing she’s going through her own problems, she always provides for you all. she is always here, always online, always around to make you laugh or smile. she provides for all of us, and is honestly a miracle worker. i don’t think i will ever deserve her forgiveness for everything, but i hope she knows how loved she is, and i hope you all show her your sentiments too ! she is the heart of veritas, and fdjg she means the world to me, and i just really want her to know that.

but that was. a lot of emotions and obviously i haven’t talked about everything in my life ( i do not want to bore you and honestly i don’t wanna make y’all sad dkfjghdkfjgdfgdf ) none of this really means anything if things aren’t going to change. so get ready for some Bullet Point Action because here is my proposal:

nEw SkElEtOn: although nate is on hiatus and sorta just gonna, float out there in the void of time, and even though i really want to bring him back soon i don’t know if/when i will, i have felt immense guilt for hoarding his spot in this rp for someone who could be more active. hence, a solution: a new skeleton ! as i am not comfortable with nate’s skeleton being open, we have created a new skeleton with connections to all nate’s old connections, which should hit the main very soon !

new discord: this is probably unnecessary but dfkgjdfg i have a lot of anxiety about discord. when i get a new message i’m always like ??? AAH A GHOST. idk why. and because of that, i skip a message once, and now there are so many unanswered messages i have a heart attack every time i open my app. so, to prevent that, i am going to make a new discord account ! ( lilacrps #i forgot the number lmao ). i will be adding everyone as Friends and if you’ve ever sent me something i never responded to, or for some odd reason you wanna talk to me, a human mess, please know now that with a fresh slate i will ensure i can reply to you. i am not gonna let my anxiety win this time.

schedule: part of my issue is that i dfkjgdf always felt pressure to do everything all the time and then when i couldn’t, i fell under pressure. so dkfgjdf i am now having designated plotting and reply days ! so even though i hope to be far more active in both regards, i just need people to understand things won’t be instant, but i am holding myself accountable not only for myself, but for the rp - as that is what an admin should do.

this got super long and i highly doubt anyone is actually gonna read this lmao BUT. the main point is - i love every single one of you all so much, and i can’t apologise enough for how much i have let you all down. i know we all feel it, and i’m more than happy to accept my flaws and how blatant they’ve been in the past few months. so this is my pledge to every single one of you that i promise to do better (and if i don’t, you can kick me out dkjfgdf).

TLDR: I have been a terrible admin and friend, and I’m here to say sorry. With a new discord and personal plotting schedule, things are going to change.

If I can’t cure my depression, maybe I can cure yours.

#( ooc ; i have the power of god and anime on my side ! )#tw: depression #tw: mental health

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enchantedpurply · 4 years

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I'm gonna be really tmi now, I'm sorry.

So, I've been going to a Jiu-jitsu academy since yesterday and I feel so left out rn cause, the masters are literally letting me out of everything since I just started, and they do not tell me the basics and just want to throw me to other people much advanced than me like, a blue belt and want me to do the moves right when I don't even know where I'm supposed to be.

Since the beginning I wanted to go to a Taekwondo class or Muay Thai but since I can't afford it I was just like "well, this is a social project so it's free, I just need to bring food and also my cousin and aunty go to the classes too so why not?".

I just wanna cry and do not go anymore but I also don't want to look weak so I'm just gonna search for the cheapest Muay Thai class with my friend since my house is really close to his and there's a lot of Muay Thai classes near it and that's it, we gotta go for what we want. But I'm so sorry, I gotta give up jiu-jitsu next week :)

#I'm so sorry for this guys #but I'm really down rn #I'm want to cry so bad cause being excluded gives me bad memories #but we gotta be strong right?#let's kick peoples face like my husb johnny suh did in that jcc :)

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buttercups-song · 5 years

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I’m gonna ramble for a bit (sorry in advance). So, I first read the Mortal Instruments when I was about 12? (I’m not sure). Now I’m a 20 years old queer woman. When I was 12 I had no clue about my sexuality, I had some idea that people can be gay, but I’m from a fairly conservatist religious country so as you can expect I didn’t see or experience much diversity. And I’ve read about a bi warlock falling in love with a gay nephilim, and things just clicked for me (I still didn’t understand my own sexuality and instead became an over invested ally™). And from my present perspective I can see that the representation in TMI was flawed, I really do see it. But for my 12 years old self it was world changing. I found more representation, I started questioning who I was. And now 8 years later I got to see those characters, who changed my life (I’m being overdramatic I know) get married on screen, get the love and recognition they deserve. It’s 2019 and we’re stil living in the times when you can reasonably expect that queer characters will suffer and die in front of your eyes (I’m looking at you the Magicians), will be treated horribly or simply will exist as queerbaiting. And Magnus and Alec got to get such a healthy, loving relationship. They both got the recognition they deserve, they got to proclaim their love to their supportive family and friends .They had to go through horrible shit sure but never once was I worried that they wouldn’t make it. And I’m so thankful for that. I’m thankful that some 12 years old kid can see them getting a happy ending and realise that they can too be happy.

#shadowhunters #i'm way too invested in this #malec #tmi #queer

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phoenix-angel-suyari · 6 years

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Apologies in advance.

You don’t even have to read any of this. I’m just using this as a means to get through this.

- Don't want to conquer the piles; suddenly want to paint the ceiling. Feel hella motivated to do THAT. - Holy Shit do I have a lot of meds ya'll. Like, I only keep the ones I'm taking sequentially by my bed. The rest I have set aside. This is like home clinic level medicated. (Which reminds me, I need to call about my refills. I'm down to two days of anti-depressants - one after tonight.) ((Have to call my cardiologist's office. They haven't called yet with the new appointment.)) - No Seriously, you guys, this is a LOT of medication. I didn't even realize. - I am actually seeing my medication intake increase over time. Just by going through this. - I mean, if I get royally fucked over by the government, I can self medicate for a while, but I am sure that'd be a whole new set of problems since if I get screwed over by the government I would not be getting the screenings and monitoring some of these require. Maybe I should just dump them in the bin at Duane Reade. (Yeah, who am I kidding?! I paid money for these and I may still need them and until I know I'll be safely medicated without interruption, none of this is going anywhere.) - Finding menstrual supplies all tucked together in a nice water proof bag from one of the few trips I took over the last year is like finding gold. I have three levels of protection in this bag alone AND lady wipes!! - If any of this is TMI, feel free to look away at any time. Sorry ya'll. (At least I'm not live posting this?) ((May not post this at all - we'll see)) (((If I DO post it, I won't be reading it over because I know what it'll do to me and I'll just get all anxious and not post it and posting it is part of my motivation to get through this; even if no one reads it. And if you ARE - still - reading this, thank you for caring, and I am really sorry for this mental stream of consciousness.))) - Found a pair of Wonder Woman crowns from NYCC 2017. Am now wearing crowns, because fuck you Depression. You don't OWN me!! You're just an asshole who LIES to me every damn day and makes me hate myself for no damn reason. - PORE STRIPS!! I have just enough here to treat myself after this. Yes!

- Whitening Strips!!! This is all clearly from my year of weddings craziness. Not gonna use these. Nice to know I still have some. Have ANOTHER wedding in February. I've got a LOT of family, you guys. (It's how we Latinx roll!)

- I always end up throwing away so many things I only kept because I live on rationing; always thinking about that proverbial rainy day - that I've essentially been living for three years now. Yes, I realize the medicine thing fits this category. They're still good. Most I'm still on. And medication is expensive as fuck, so see reasons above. These will go when they're of no further potential use. - Nearly every time I do this, I find some money I managed to miss at some point and suddenly I have some money! (ALWAYS leave a few bucks in things people. Believe me, it helps! Whether or not it helps you; it'll help someone who needs it when they most need it, so do it anyway.) So far, no money outside of change - which I always like to keep in my bags and coats; because I am kinda superstitious about that and also because you never know when you'll need to add that up to make a dollar. So far, I've found a couple of Metrocards, which for a NYer is almost as good as money, because it could potentially mean TRAVEL!!! If they have any money on them at all and I get them consolidated. - How to tell I travel with children regularly: I have lots of toys and crayons and stuff to entertain them in like nearly everything I own. - Moving things around, one thing at a time may seem stupid and a waste of time, but it's actually helping me focus and ensuring everything actually gets done. Find teeth whitening strips, check the expiration date, find them still good so no need to toss, put them in the bathroom immediately means they won't end up in another pile where I will then feel overwhelmed by them later. It is also keeping me from screaming "FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!" and just shoving things into bags and boxes and piling them in a closet and then forgetting about them and having a worse issue even later. (Believe me, I am still living this from years prior.) - Incidentally, writing this list is helping as well because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Like you guys are with me, supporting me, and whether or not you read this at all, or even get this far, Thank you so very much. It really means the world to me. You honestly don't even know. - Holy Shit I own a lot of books. Like, this isn't news AT ALL. But like, damn. I need more cases. (Anyone wanna send me cases?) - I actually have a noticeable DENT! YOU GUYS!!! I AM DOING IT!!!

- More if this person doesn't HAVE children, then they care FOR children evidence. I should like put all of this somewhere. But, I feel like that's for a later time. Have to compartmentalize if I'm gonna get through this. (Or I could leave it outside in the hall in a box and make it my cousin's problem when the kids see it and run off with it. But, then I will have nothing with which to entertain them on the road and while traveling and in restaurants, so, yeah, not doing that.)

- When feeling weakness begin to grab hold, BREAK THE THING. This will ensure you are able to dispose of it. - Found a dog toy. Taking some time to cry. - Struggling to get back on track a bit, so, I'm gonna post this as a part I.

#my life #my family #Depression #TMI

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