#this is the one thing everyone relates to on this blog

[maryrouille]

Toxic romanticization of studying

In a word of introduction, my profile partly shows that studying and exploring is wonderful. But as a person involved in science*, I would like to show healthy and true patterns of this beautiful adventure in acquiring knowledge.

The inspiration for writing this post this time was not the phenomenon from Tumblr (although you can also observe it here), but from Pinterest. There you can come across cycles composed of quotes and photos whose aim is to motivate young girls to learn, succeed and get good grades. These images often also show examples of characters from movies, TV series or real life that you can aspire to be like. Overall, I have to agree that it really works! But I would like to draw attention to certain elements that need to be verified.

1. You shouldn't get up at 5am

First of all, the correct amount of sleep is one of the most important factors affecting the proper and effective functioning of our brain. During sleep, nerve cells regenerate, organize information acquired during the day and consolidate memory traces, which is directly related to learning. Lack of sleep increases impulsivity, deepens negative thinking and slows down the body's reaction time!

2. You can be a genius without good grades

Of course, good grades are a pleasant confirmation of our knowledge and praise for hard work. However, sometimes it is worth considering whether the structure of exams themselves, especially those with closed questions, affects the results. We often study for one specific exam, the knowledge of which may be very… limited and sometimes not useful, so it is worth prioritizing the topics that we study hard.

3. It's not cool to think you're better than others

We are different and have different priorities in life. It is also worth considering how many people escape from the rat race and start a slow, stress-free life. So we have to agree that judging people based on grades or responses under stress (sic!) is not cool.

The good thing about romanticizing studying

As I have already said, these types of collages are really motivating. So let's talk about what's great about them and what's worth highlighting and saving for later.

1. Knowledge is beautiful, but your outfit and surroundings can also be

We know that we should never judge a book by its cover, but… the issue of social perception painfully confirms that we do and will continue to do so because this is how our brains work. And isn't it nice when someone looks at us and thinks this girl is so classy?

Moreover, a nice outfit that makes us feel good gives us a lot of self-confidence. There are also many studies confirming the positive impact on motivation and concentration of a neat and aesthetic workplace.

2. Not just cramming, but also discovering

Broadening your horizons is easier with passion and real commitment. And to achieve this, the topics must really interest us. Not everyone has yet found something that they are extremely passionate about in science, so that is why you have to dig deeper and discover different areas.

3. Don't be afraid to use your knowledge in practice

Schools and universities, unfortunately, have their own rules and they do not always allow you to show your 100% potential. Thus, share your knowledge with others externally, write essays, blog and social media. This form of activity also makes you learn things faster and easier. In addition, contacts with others will expand your knowledge.

Therefore, I must say that it is worth choosing your inspirations carefully. Nothing helps you enjoy studying better than a clear head and lack of prejudices.

*This post was inspired by my own experience with studying. If anyone is interested, I think I can share my mistakes that did not help me in an academic adventure :)

#study aesthetic #healthy studying #study motivation #studyblr #dark academia #light academia #studyspo #study inspiration #study inspo #study blog #studying #productivitytips #studyblr community

[luveline]

I'm sorry to send you such a loaded question, but as a young adult, how do you stay motivated and... I don't know, do the things you have to do? Ever since I left high school, I've felt that it's hard to commit to anything, especially the things I have to commit to in order to have a future, because everything seems so monotonous and uninteresting and stressful to me; because I feel like I'm not capable of doing anything, of being competent.

Anyways, I love your blog. Your writings are one of the few things that make me happy on the worst days xx

that’s okay! I’m gonna try and answer you clearly !! cw for suicide mention

So first I want to say that I’m really sorry you feel this way! It’s quite a heart ache to feel uninspired or uninterested, or worse to feel like you’re not capable of doing things everyone else is doing. You deserve to wake up and feel happy and confident in yourself and your abilities! And I want to say I’m sorry in advance if this is not quite the answer you’re asking me for!

so, when I was around 18/19 (and well beyond those years, but this was when I was very done and defeated and, you know, crying myself sick every night if I wasn’t just laying in bed) I was in university, but I didn’t finish the year at campus, and I had to go home. I’m not sure if this is something I should be saying because it’s so personal but I just want to sort of be honest with you cos I don’t want you to think you’re alone in that feeling. But anyways I had to go home, I was really lonely and I just felt like I couldn’t do what everyone else was doing, like there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t cope with the kitchen, I couldn’t use the bathroom there, I didn’t know how to turn the heating on, couldn’t talk to people, couldn’t navigate the bus by myself, and I felt so pathetically stupid, I had such low self esteem for myself that I felt like I should kill myself just because I was so useless —I didn’t WANT to understand these things. I just didn’t want to do anything. And the reason I’m mentioning it is because while I don’t think it’s okay to assume these things of you, I want to emphasise that there can be a common link between feeling like you aren’t capable and a mental health issue! Of course, you can feel quite useless without that though, so not telling you that that’s definitely what you have going on but more wanting to say that if you think it might be useful, you can have a look at mental health issues and perhaps see if you’re relating to them. But beyond that, hopefully on the way to answering your question, is how I managed to feel more capable and how I now find motivation to do things I have to do.

I sort of had to do a reset, or a sabbatical! I’ve always been an upset person unfortunately, and I had a long few months where I didn’t do anything at all. I’m really, really fortunate that my mother let me stay at home while this was happening however reluctant she was, I can’t imagine really what I would’ve done or what could’ve happened to me if she didn’t let me stay there. I always thought about how she could’ve just turned me out and she probably wanted to, because for months I stayed in bed. I didn’t talk to anybody, deleted all my social media, and I stewed in how much I hated myself for not being any good at anything. I felt soooo stupid and so alone, and I probably cried myself to sleep every night wondering about my life and if I’d ever have the motivation to go on. There are still times now where I am intensely upset and unsure about things and what I’m capable of, but the difference between then and now, and the reason for my motivation I think, was that I was able to foster a need for something? I’m really so sorry if this sounds like total total nonsense, but I needed something. I wanted so badly for someone to “save me” from my not being able to do things, I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Like, how I could be saved. And then I strung out the middle man without realising I was doing it! It is very hard to go from having no motivation and no sense of self ability to then being confident, but I do think you can do it! I needed someone to get me a job and I ended up doing it myself, I needed someone to be gentle with me when I was sad so I started speaking to myself with a more kind inner voice and seeing myself as someone who didn’t need to be perfect to be good.

There was lots of bits of advice I tried to take on. Not all of it is kind to myself, some of it is though!! Like, for example, there’s a sort of parody of it now that says “I think you’re thinking about yourself too much” but one of the ways I stopped hating myself and instead started to believe I could do things and achieve was by thinking about the level of self obsession I was feeling to constantly think of myself. And I promise I’m not trying to say something hurtful to you, I absolutely don’t believe you’re self obsessed, but you’re also not incapable!! In a slightly more annoying take on your feelings, why can’t you do it if everyone else can? You absolutely can! I personally believe sweetheart that you can do everything I can, but you need more support, or you need to be fostered with some love. You are not incapable, you are not incompetent, you are a smart, kind, and important person. There is nobody else like you on the entire planet and I’m better for it that you’re here.

I apologise profusely if I’m projecting too much on you, I’m not trying to say you must feel exactly as I did years ago, but I think your ask really is important and I really want to give you an answer to your question because I know I felt exactly the same at some point. Working toward a future self I didn’t even like or believe in was boring. Nothing in me wanted to work hard or study or continue because I didn’t look forward to achievement.

sorry this is all so long! Hopefully this last bit is the actual advice you might be able to use. Beyond that wisdom about trying not to dedicate too much time to thinking of myself, there are lots of “rules” I tend to live by, in order to just keep going forward. For starters, you deserve to have fun. You deserve good food, nice clothes (not showy though you deserve those too, but nice sturdy clothing), a warm safe house, and you need to work for it! We defo deserve to work less for things but I keep going and trying to better myself because I know I need to do this in order to be comfortable. This will sound out of left field, because the focus of the book is not strictly motivation, but there’s a graphic novel called my lesbian experience with loneliness by Nagata Kabi that has stuck with me because she has this same sort of view as to feeling like she’s stuck in monotony, and there’s one bit in particular where she talks about doing things for yourself you might not do, I.e making sure you have underwear and socks that are clean and whole. I grew up poor and I’m not super rich now either, but since I read that, one of my priorities is having whole and clean underwear, and that did help me find the motivation to work or to study. We need to function in a way to maintain good standards for ourselves, and even if you have boxes of clean socks, there might be something in your life you can think about working toward! I throw away underwear or any clothes that don’t fit me right, and I don’t feel guilty about it when I would’ve before because I know that feeling well dressed is good for your heart. Does that make sense? To give yourself a good standard of life, you have to keep going. As well as that, another way I stay motivated to go on which I’ve talked about before maybe (not that I expect you to have read this) is my writing. I’m motivated sometimes to do things I have to if only because I need free time to think deeply about the things I want to think about. Also I love writing more than pretty much anything, even if most writers will look at what I’m doing and laugh or wonder why I’d dedicate so much time to some things in particular, because I love it. If I can make sure my rent is paid every month, that’s a promise I have a room to sit in every night where I can write whatever story I want! Another motivation is my ability to give bits of myself? It sounds ridiculous because I don’t genuinely believe I’m giving myself to people but to try and be a positive part of someone life is a good place to start if you feel purposeless. My relationships with my sisters are a tether for me and I’ve tried so hard and so much to make these relationships count, as well as with long distance friends, and recently ish I got back into contact with friends I couldn’t maintain relationships with when I was feeling down, and now my life feels very changed. I don’t live solely for myself, (though it’s okay if you do, because its hard and sometimes a lot of pressure to live for and around others) so that gives my life more purpose, and gives me more reason to do things I have to do. I also desperately enjoy this blog !!

I’m genuinely so sorry if this is all useless. I’ve been typing this answer since like 1:05 and it’s much later now, but it’s because it’s hard to describe to you the things that give motivation, because I know deep down how impossible it feels when you have none. I don’t expect you to read this and think aw jade you’ve solved it I’m fine now actually, I just hope that one thing in here can lend you an idea as to what to do next. If you’re struggling to go on, there are lots of options available to you in the UK such as the SHOUT text line for stress, depression, and eating disorders. They’re free to text and anonymous! I don’t think there’s one answer to giving yourself purpose, it is a very hard life and I don’t blame you for feeling incapable or bored or worried or anything you’re feeling, but I do for sure know you can do this, because I can do it, if that makes sense. Like I bet we’re extremely different people on account of uniqueness but also bet we have so many similarities!! And I certainly don’t mind guessing that you’re a loving, caring, person who deserves to feel more fulfilled. It’s my recommendation that you try to understand why you’re not feeling your best right now, that you talk to someone if you can, that you have some faith in yourself, and that you treat yourself with the same love and patience as you would any other person experiencing burnout! again I’m so so sorry if this is all rubbish. I’m forcing myself to stop now. So sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if half of this is completely unrelated to what you’re asking. I love you and I hope you feel better, genuinely truly ❤️❤️❤️❤️

#jade's asks #ily

[ssreeder]

How would your write a zukka proposal(with sokka proposing and making zuko a betrothal necklace?

I am actually not a huge fan of betrothal necklaces between zukka. Idk, the tradition seems more of a NWT thing and I like that they have their own way of life separate from the SWT and their traditions.

Also,,, knowing the betrothal necklace that belonged to Kya originally belonged to Kana and is now a family heirloom from their deceased mom… I just don’t see the romantic aspect for Sokka or Katara. Idk I think the necklace had a different meaning for them and a lot of mixed sentiments so yeah it’s just not something I headcanon sorry anon :)

#especially if this is for liab I just yeah… #I can’t imagine either Zuko or Sokka wanting something wrapped around them #especially Zuko and his neck ha #even if this isn’t liab it’s just not something I enjoy #the bethroal necklace thing gives me different vibes when it comes to katara and Sokka #like idk katara wears hers and touches it when she’s emotional #I can’t imagine Sokka wearing one too? but it being romantic? #or even Zuko haha idk it’s too weird for me #but I know it’s a popular idea!!! #people lovvveeeee betrothal necklaces #which is fine I think it’s sweet in some scenarios #but yeah I’m not really a ‘send me headcanon’ blog anyway I don’t have many opinions #not unless it’s related to liab haha #idc what everyone else does to their blorbos #darkcrowprincess #ask #liab #maybe? haha idk. #thanks for the asks you’re very sweet :)

[istherewifiinhell]

Actually wait everything about disco elysium and why harry and kim are Like That tm makes sense when you realise it's disabled solidarity.

In the setting (complicated to explain) having poor eye sight/glasses seems more stigmatized than for us. (The fact that kim is a racialized minority is a factor for some but not all of the comments made). Additionally Kim's vision is implied to be strongly impaired. bits ive gathered so far being he can still shoot with good accuracy, but seeing into buildings from outside, and dark places are basically a no go, and peoples faces may pose difficultly, (though that also could have been just anytime he has to clean his glasses hes extremely vulnerable, like you do when coming in from the cold). had a previous partner he relied to relay visual information to the point the partner was nicknamed "eyes"

so. im just saying. really makes me think about how well he adapts and treats a guy whose easily confused, has sporadic behaviour and moods, speaks unusually (lexical and vocal), and with chronic pain (physical impairment probably depends on stats?)

one of my favourite kim like, speaking quirks that i think is most obvious when he hands you a page of questions to ask a person is when he uses a word, and specifies it immediately (example there being "where is Lelystad, the place I mean?"). and even when not that exact style he feels like he does a lot to avoid making himself hard to understand

Im just thinking about accommodating for people you know.

#some shit #disco blogging #kim also has impeccable facial/emotional reaction control thats not really relevant its just like hes suave and also i think implies #delibrate choice to things like his style of speech in relation to scenario #not main tagging but if u got here from search im not finished yet!! #also you can say this isnt really why or not the only reason why but im making a LENSE. im viewing the work from this angle to see what #it gets me it doesnt have to be for everyone #this post was gonna be one sentence with a paragraph of tags but i wanted to edit the paragraph lol #and then THEY KISSED. DISABLEDLY

[eeblouissant]

I know this is mostly an art blog, but oh my god. I absolutely have to share this dress I thrifted today, because I know I’ve got a handful of vintage fashion enjoyers here as well, and it’s also incredibly rose nylund core lol (picture under the cut, feel free to skip if you’re only here for art & not my personal shenanigans)

Anyway, if you see me draw rose in this dress any time soon no you did NOT !!!! I bought it partly because it reminded me of her so much 😭🤍 rose you’re forever my favourite.

#personal #this dress is now in my top three favourite dresses I own for sure #vintage fashion #? I’m tagging that for fun #this is an art blog and not a personal blog I swear #I just get excited and want to share immediately & with everyone I know when I find a new fun thing related to an interest of mine #these posts won’t happen often (unless for some reason I find another vintage item that screams one of the girls lol) !!

[disorganizedkitten]

"Oh you came from a nuclear family" I announce, squinting heavily at the bonding speenrun I clicked on expecting a slowburn

#Jaymeow speaks #is it rude? probably #but listen #some of you have not actually had to deal with sudden new siblings and it shows #“Apple you write the same things” #yeah but I recognize it's inaccurate #and also sometimes do it right #“oh babies aren't that bad” #mhm sure #and the sixteen year old with a drug abuse issue that no one can figure out how to help? #The 14yo who already struggled sharing her parent and now has to share with more people and is constantly breaking down because of it? #the 22yo who only comes by for family dinners and could hate everyone or love everyone and the rest of us wouldn't even know? #the 12yo? the 17yo? #maybe this is on the wrong blog but I write more family stuff here #A piece of paper declaring a relation doesn't do much #that takes WORK #ted talk over thank you

[heffrondriving]

soooo. that new big time rush album huh

#how we feeling today rushers (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ #also yes i've come back from the dead just to post abt this like. i owe this blog *this much* at least ykyk #anyway its like 3 in the morning here and ive just woken up after a vv long and exhausting day yesterday so this was a pleasant surprise :> #i haven't really listened to it in full yet bc idk adhd things but when the mood hits right y'all know i'll be VIBING #i never talked abt it but waves and can't get enough were great earworms so i'm excited to see how the rest of the songs will turn out #also hope everyone's doing well here on the btr side of tumblr hehe y'all been absolutely fed this year <3 #is this gonna be allen's 2k23 tumblr comeback??? nah prob not i'm too in love with the fooo conspiracy atm but hey maybe also who knows 👀 #(*heckler from the back of the audience* NO ONE CARES ABOUT U AND UR TRASH CONTENT IDIOT STFU FOREVER ACTUALLY!!!!!) #but yep. life has been fuck work has been a headache and so many unwanted tragic plot twists this year. but at least we got new btr lezzgo! #also happy pride month y'all!!! just saying this for absolutely no rhyme or reason related to this post at all wdym lmao ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ #okay thats all promise i'll shush now and it's time for old grampa to disappear into the darkest recesses of the internet yet again hejdååå #btr #big time rush #another life #album #stop it forever #lmao i hardly remember my dumbass blog tags;;; it's for the best hdbfkgk

[the-yearning-astronaut]

As if I need something else to dwell on right now, I'm having a hard time with my orientation again. Like I just.... Idk. I feel like I don't fit in with the queer community because I'm aroace spec but I also feel alienated from the aroace community because I'm demi aroace. And it makes me feel very lost and very isolated.

#like i needed to feel even more like a broken thing... #negativity #demisexual #demiromantic #demi aroace #and not to go all vague blogging in the tags but #its really... [insert big complicated emotion here] to find a character you relate to on such a deep level #and then stumble across some... very strongly worded posts about the Right Way to interpret the character #and that supposed Right Way happens to invalidate your own experiences #specifically the ones that draw you to the character in the first place #and i know everyone's interpretations are (mostly) valid and we all have a right to play in the sandbox #but i can't help but feel a bit of shame alongside that alienation now because i happen enjoy an interpretation of the character #that fans seem to like being very vocally against #and im gonna try to not let it get to me and im gonna put the thoughts aside #knowing ive been up for just shy of 24hrs now and little sleep messes with the brain #but its just... its all too much rn and i feel too broken in too many ways #fox thoughts #tbd

[monty-glasses-roxy]

24 (What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?) for Roxy

Thanks for copying the question here buddy I appreciate that a lot (I can't load the post on my phone or my own blogs at all still)

Uhhhh honestly, Roxy's pretty different to a lot of my usual other blorbos. I could compare her to Labrys from Persona 4 Arena in a sense that they're both robots with horrible trauma that have been forced to do things they wouldn't dream of doing otherwise, but that doesn't feel like a great comparison ngl

I could compare her to a lot of blorbos though. Like Bracken from Ni No Kuni 2, Unit #024 and Labrys from Persona 4 Arena, for being chronically underutilized by the devs. Maybe PURL from Kuni 2 but PURL feels more... Like an opposite to Mimic? The first attempt at sentient AI in that world, determined to answer the question of what colour is the sky for herself... Only knows a few things, a child her closest friend, and accidentally takes over the wholeass factory in her attempts to see the sky again after like a decade of being deactivated. And also because the devs couldn't think of anything interesting for a new Broadleaf area so they wanted to make sure you did the wholeass factory again for some fucking reason.

Ohhh then again, I was watching those clips last night and Toothless and Hiccup made me think of Roxy and Cassie in an AU kind of way. Mostly because of the dogisms I like to give Roxy and because of several AUs that are more in line with How to Train Your D/ragon... (Put a slash in it to make extra sure I don't end up in any searches for that) So maybe Toothless? Maybe not?

Honestly I don't think I've ever liked a character that has shown much interest in their appearance before. Maybe Erza from Fairy T/ail? Looks cool and could kill you but has zero braincells whatsoever? Also very traumatised? Koromaru from P3 cause his persona is Cerberus and Roxy is the Cerberus to Mimic? And I can see her running around with a knife in her teeth? I dunno man that's a tough question

Ohhh there was also Blaze from the Sonic games! Not because of Roxy specifically, but because in coming up with a horse for her, many of the ideas for it was giving my Blaze vibes lmao. She has a horse in the Olympic games and it's pure white with light purple tack and possibly eyes I don't remember so yeah that kept popping to mind in coming up with a horse nsjsdj

And I suppose my OC Zephyr somewhat reminds me of her. That whole universe I made was started when I got so deep into a Pupcakes/Roxica Pirates AU that I decided to make it a whole thing and Zephyr is who Roxy in the story became. I like Zephyr she's very cool and has become very distinct from Roxy, but her roots are still there, ya know? I'll always remember where she started.

Jsisjsi I could associate Roxy with Disney's Bolt too just cause he's a superhero dog and a funny lil guy. And for some reason one of the OST tracks for the DS game will plague my mind for the rest of my days. Even though I'm thinking of every track but that one right now. It's the one for Bolt's part of the... Something Temple level. Bolivia? Belize??? I think it has a B in it... But anyway yeah Superdog! Hooray!

P03 from Inscryption too but mostly because it's tech themed, and I had that old AU where I drew her as the Scrybe of Technology. Inscryption is incredible btw I fucking love it. I suck at it apparently though. I got to Act 2 and played a fucking beefed up Ouroborus in the first stage of P03's fight like "oh I've got this fucker now!!" No I did not. I absolutely did that. Stoatal misplay. Could not have fucked that up more lmao anyone that's played or seen this game will know exactly what ended up happening there nsjdjdi I FORGOT okay?? I forgot!!!

BACK ON TOPIC yeah Roxy's a pretty different character to the norm for me. Genuinely can't think of anyone that might be similar to her enough for them to remind me of her if I saw them again. Maybe if I went back and watched the old My Little Pony from the fucking 70s or whatever, but it would just be the standard stereotype of "all girls care lots about their appearance and gasp in horror if you dirty a pretty dress" probably. You know the one. I do my best not to humour that shit in my own Roxy interpretation but it's hard to forget that's absolutely where her written personality stems from :/

#pop rox answers #long post #sorry i kept going off on one I've just had my meds and it's ramble forever time #yeah i fucking. hate that stereotype so much #like with an actual burning passion. maked my skin crawl. #i was a little autistic girl once and i hated it then #fucking. wisteria or however you spell her name from one of the old mlp movies did it best #it was the trope of a princess has to be pretty and a princess has to be prim and proper and a certain way #and she just fucked off to roll around in the mud and made everyone else a princess at the parade too because FUCK you lmao #i remember that film remarkably well lmao #the other one i remember was rarity from another film or at least i think that was her name. early 2000s pink unicorn #from the one where the colours are disappearing from the world. she was a lil shit i could relate lmao #okay i lied i remember all the ones i saw this shit was my thing as a lil kid lmao i remember when the schmooze was ourple #and made by three witches in a castle over a cliff and only the flutter ponies could stop it and there was this random girl for some reason #meghan and two kids i never cared for. north star i miss you. you did nothing i just thought you were neat #fucking BURGER SURPRISE!!! little shit!!!! literally saved the day by being an ass!!! #they had fun names ngl #anyway. i don't remember what i was talking about imma just post and hope for the best sorry or whatever #my blog my rules you're gonna suffer my meds with me hand in catdrugdeal hand

[shararan]

good news: started shortfic 300 words

good news 2: its binggehua

??? news: its pushing the boundaries of a shortfic as im at 1500 words and cant stop for a break

worse news: my back is dying

good news 3: still kicking and screaming as the words flow like waterfall

less good but also ???? news: its in swedish

not good but kinda makes me laugh news: ill be the one to take yet another fandoms swedish fic virginity on ao3

#sharan talks #i love writing in swedish i can be as superfluous and over the top as i want and no ones there to stop me #english expects more of a script and standard even in prose and the like #whereas with swedish its very heavily encouraged to just go all out however you want with whatever you want as an author #the authors personal voice is something thats strongly valued ime which i like a lot #whereas with english youre always one step away from being hit with the purple prose allegations #that being said i do try to push it subtly in english too #or rather add some of the flavour of my swedish prose in my english prose #which isnt to everyones taste and thats fine #but im having endless amount of fun doing it im telling you!!!!!!!!!! #tbh its been refreshing reading swedish writers blogs and magazines after so many english ones #its always so much about allowing yourself to go crazy and not worry lest you stifle your creativity #and that if you wanna be unorthodox you just gotta prove why the way you went about it was the best choice for it #IDK ITS JUST SO LIKE #english guides always talk about what you SHOULDNT do #and the things they tell you to do are mostly in relation to the things you apparently shouldnt #more performance anxiety inducing to me #i prefer the mentality encouraging to go all the way and be bold and have fun because whats the point otherwise

[junkie-virus]

anyways. i have been feeling vaguely unsatisfied with media. mainly queer media . i dont know it all feels the same. of course maybe i could widen my horizons though i dont know where to start but im kind of tired of the halfway-redonating. i can never really fully resonate with any queer media because it only wver focuses on one identity in a way i can’t relate to because mines are heavily influenced by one another . only ever gay/bi. only ever trans. only ever white. only ever allo. etc etc

#ro rambles #i dont know this makes sense but this is my diary im writing in bloodsoaked with my sparkly pink pen and a fuzzy end with a cat bell and ri #bons #also u can literally never ever escape top/bottom bullshit in fandom. its a neverending powerplay #i do enjoy contrast ships but its always one enjoying one being coy or shy or reluctant or whatever. #idk im not even one of those niche high class media people or whatever i just want more trope subversion #or allowing characters to be versatile & dynamic (ha half joke) #not just one note always #idk im alays looking for ways to subvert things and that does lead to me being like “is this even in character anymore? like the obvious ch #oice is obvi because their personality would influence them into making that choice. but u can make it in character hilst making them choos #something that seems unexoected for them. yk. #im rmbling. #because its my blog and i can. #(aggressive) #i encourage recs but if its geaveyard boys or whatever its called dont do it i already bought and tried reading & dod not like it. #dropped it but so desperate maybe ill try it again #i just have a grudge bc its one of tge only rep i have covering like. an okay amount of bases & that i was hoping to relate to #BECAUSE EVERYONE SUGGESTS IT WHEN YOU ASK FOR BOOKS WITH THAT CERTAIN REP #& it dissapointed me #ah well #im talking. im talking . #trying to make my own gay people. settling on that. though character deesign hard…. #my thoughts are nowhere near fone but this is liter so stream of consciousness that theres no point #no sense #im just yappin #am a professional #could fo this forever

[0mega-x]

The idea of nations being born and dying and their relations to one another.

I have no idea how it works in canon, if Himaruya ever showed it. But I do have some headcanons about it.

How are nations born, and how do they die ? I do think nations cannot get pregnant or get someone pregnant. They are infertile. The way they are born ? Nobody knows, people just end up finding them and realise the little one is immortal. Why are they born ? It depends. They can be born from the formation of a state, a new settled area, or from the genesis of an ethnic group if they don't have a proper state or subdivision. Alfred would be born from the first European settlements in Norh America at around 1607. But he wouldn't be found out until much, much later.

Nations aren't born as babies, though. I think they would have a "minimal age" any nation in a set region would be born at, probably ranging between 3 to 8 years old. In Ludwig's time, he would be born at 8 years old.

Nations are almost immortal. They can't die from old age or disease. They age very slowly and I headcanon that there's an age where they stop aging. They can die, though. If their entity is dissolved, disestablished or their population is wiped out, they can die. See HRE. Imagine a Tyrol character. I would imagine they'd die shortly after 1919, leaving two children, the northern and southern parts (I also wonder what would be this Tyrol character's interaction with a Trentino character...).

Now, how are nations related? I say they have blood relations. I hc that nations can only have one biological parent, but they can take physical traits from others that have greatly influenced them. What happens if two nations are related but didn't know of their relations for x reason ? They just know. They have a "feeling". A feeling that tells them that this person is not just a stranger to them. How would Normandy know she is related to the Scandinavians? Magic? I also imagine nations might have a different kind of relationship between families than regular humans. Look at Antonio and his 1082038108302 children, how the fuck is he supposed to have a relationship with all of them? He doesn't. Both would be aware of their connections, but it doesn't guarantee anything. I imagine it would be much more common within the nations to be closer to non-relatives and relatives. France and the Frankish Empire might have had that, no blood relations, but still very close. However, I don't thing this "feeling" would apply to any relatives further than siblings/parents/children. Maybe aunt and uncles ? But definitely not cousins.

Anyway..... IT'S FINALLY THE HOLIDAYS WOOOOH!

Fuck I have 3 graded homework for the week after the holidays

#im back school just hit me a little bit #i also have an idea about post-mortem children #aka children nations born after their parents death. #im thinking about saarland #the father dies during the napoleonic wars #leaving behind no more state or subdivision #however #the daughter is born in 1919 #if everyone knows who her parent is its probably from her aunts/uncles #hence my hesitation in the relations lart #hetalia #historical hetalia #also yeas the minimal age thing is so that i can reconcile having the earlier nations still be teens during the middle ages/early modern era #while not having the younger ones be too young #mes blogs #hetalia headcanons

[touchlikethesun]

i would like for people to stop being surprised when i haven't been places. i don't know what it is about me that just screams "i've been to every country on this planet" but i really haven't. i feel so bad every time someone asks me for travel advice because nearly every time i've not been the place they're going to and i can't help them at all.

#it's one thing if i've mentioned a country that i've been to before and you ask about a city i haven't been to #because i understand why you'd ask #but literally so many people like at least 3 have asked me for italy travel recs this week and just ??? #idk man i've never been either!!! #it's also jealousy because everyone i know is going to italy this year but i can't travel because of my internship and i want to go sooo ba #personal #yes this is not a relatable problem ik but this is my blog i can vent if i want to lol

[netscapenavigaytor]

list of possible netscapenavigaytor tags:

something kind of insane and only tangentially relevant

talking about fictional character

hopefully genuinely thoughtful insight and commentary to the post at hand

deeply baring my soul for the whole fucking world to see

"this is so fucking swag awesomesauce badass"

#error 0 #honestly i dont think i could ever totally click with any social media type site that doesnt let me make tons of commentary #without it getting in the way of others' blogging #i have so many thoughts! i have so many things to say! #i dont know how anyone can just silently reblog posts; are there no words in your head or do you prefer to keep them to oneself? #i dont say this as a statement of judgement of course becasue everyone lives the ultimate bloging their own way #but i cant imagine being given what is basically a free ''put commentary that doesnt interrupt the post'' box on every post #and then NOT using it constantly all the time #of course there are pros and cons to this - it is nice to have a diary of my thoughts but also at the same time #many things i say are a tad embarrassing to look back on. #but i would rather they continue to exist. i deleted too much of the picture of myself when i was much younger and i regret it dearly #but i promised to myself i wont obliterate the me i was in the past anymore. even if i say something embarassing #oh look here it is again - me talking too long tangentially related baring my soul in the tags #i like to spin around and talk in public to no one in particular in a place where no reply is necessarily Expected! #where i will be perceived but no other expectations exist. i get shy about it sometimes but #there's a sort of joy i get out of just logging my thoughts and feelings into this silly little blog! #and while i suppose it does not matter too much if it doesnt since i do this for myself #i do hope my rambles bring some small joy or entertainment to my followers #i mean i certainly must imagine the tags must be what you follow me for if ur not one of my personal friends LMAO #given how themeless and arbitrary this blog is #actually im curious now - if you read this far and youre not following me Just because we're friends #then what DO you follow me for? very interested to know #ok i need to go eat something i post this now and stop talking until i eat.

[nightmareonpeachstreet]

going into cardiac arrest over seeing a character I have a huge crush on in a maid outfit

#this is applicable to all genders everyone looks great in a maid costume #totally unrelated but I was missing Xu Fu so I decided to look her up on the FGO wiki #(jk it is completely related and aHEM.....) #(maid Xu Fu...truly blessed content) #(no one is surprised that the only thing in the world that can get me to blog about FGO again is Xu Fu) #(just feeling a lot of feelings and my sister is asleep so I can't yell at her about it) #Xu Fu // #Fate // #FGO //

[volinare]

It's kinda like before anti-psycotics I experienced my innerworld, my subconscious, the observable world, and other people innerworlds all on top of each other. They mixed together and when information was missing it was hard to tell as it was all so messy.

All those realities still exist, and they still exist all at the same time. Now, they are all the same world, instead of layered realities. Delusions no longer exist in bubbles that I get stuck in but as a part of the world that contradicts or doesn't contradict other parts.

The world is like nothing else. I'm still depressed, suicidal, and delusional. But now I can like sorta feed my self and keep my body clean. I had all the tools before to do so, but my entire life I couldn't keep up and I never knew why. I thought maybe trauma and autism, those still play a part but like literally my life is just. Exactly the same but I shower and pick up things I don't want to step on off the floor.

My self awareness too. It's always been a struggle for me to understand how I'm perceived. I'm constantly, as I think most people do, reflecting, making changes, and grieving. But now progress is more satisfying. I can make plans that have more moving parts and understand situations without that sliding reality feeling. Even if my actual follow through is the same.

I dissociate a lot still

I tend to react well to medications and antipsychotics are nothing to mess around with. But I but a lot of thought (I was lucky to be able to) into starting them and the results just. They weren't what I was expecting. Like, I expected them to work, but like. like look at this I wrote this long silly post that stays on topic and moves between subtopics. I didn't even plan that. My thoughts are just. Literally organized. And I was able to write in an organic way before my delusions got worse last year, but it still wasn't like this and I wasn't always able to.

#mania and alters make the whole thing hard to work out #also have WAY less intrusive thoughts now and im able to walk my self away from 'evil' thoughts #amd comunication is better with my system!!! #well some parts other are like woosh #theres a few alters who came out of dormancy too because I guess the delusions got too intense when i was 20 or so. #POV: u can now make long posts like all your fav DID blogs because you can write in a straight line now. #im gonna read this to my therapist and im going to make him clap at the end because therapy makes me go mad with power #im going everyother week now o-o #i think i could actually have a routine now. omg does this mean i get to ax murder all the doctors that didnt believe m #me when i said i couldn't keep a routine? #what about the ones that didnt believe that i was experiencing delusions? idk why. I guess I was too articulate still? #i had one therapist tell me i was in the arly stages of schitzoaffective #tried some antipsycotic for a week and they made my corner of the eye halusinations worse! so I stopped them #then everything got worse a little over a year ago and i was like #Its just so funny I feel like Im staring at everyone on tumblr with big huge eyes now like 0_0 -_- 0_0 #i dont even know how that is related but that how i feel #i thought my inability to write was because i was embarrassed from the truman show!! literally #and im still embarrassed sometimes but #and im sure this is a little difficult to read but its stream of consciousness and like #duuuuude like you know