#i dont know how anyone can just silently reblog posts; are there no words in your head or do you prefer to keep them to oneself? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

skzoologist · 4 months

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Okay so similarly to that ask you got, the chan comfort one, what about some miho, like you said they dont seek eachother out, but they can often be seen together (I think thats what you wrote..?)

So what about some Minho/Bae moments, comfort either way would work! (Minho being comforted by or comforting Bae, don't matter to me! 😌)

word count: ~1.1k

warnings: none

genre: fluff, comfort

a/n: Hey-ho anon dear, you're right, these two are like sassy cats, you'll see what I mean haha. None of them are the 'let us talk about this problem' kinda person, which doesn't really help with the whole situation 😅 Either way, they still find ways to rely on the other, so I hope you'll enjoy this!

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

It was a regular day for the worldwide known idol group, every member busy with their individual schedules, their day fully packed with different interviews, practices and photoshoots. Bae was no different, having just set foot back in the company building, his previous appointment having required him to go to a different location to be used as a background for his photoshoot. The shooting had a more natural, gentle theme, all the clothes Bae had worn woven with pastel coloured silk and cotton, wonderfully complementing his long hair, the dark strands left freely flowing in the soft breeze.

Through busy hallways he went, slipping free from a packed elevator efficiently, having mastered the art long ago, despite his ridiculous height.

The moment he had stepped foot into the practice room he knew something was amiss, the air shifting around differently, compared to its usual, cheery self.

Two pairs of eyes met with each other, one searching the other carefully, not wishing to accidentally set off a landmine and cause irreversible destruction. Yet, the taller dancer had no time to fully worry about that, his hyung looking away much too fast, not even slowly blinking at him in his usual, silent greeting.

That was the first red flag Bae had noticed, something that settled heavily in his stomach.

The younger took his bag and hoodie off, already fully changed into some loose clothing he could freely dance in long before having arrived at the company. Although, he had to say, even after so many years, he still couldn’t get used to changing in the car hastily, usually not having enough time in his tightly packed schedule to do so in a proper locker room or even a restroom.

Minho silently waited for the otter to be done, eyes watching him through the mirror like a hawk, something sharp in the older’s gaze that usually didn’t reside there. It caused a slight crease to nestle itself into Bae’s forehead, its presence uncomfortable.

Still, Bae pushed through the feeling, opting to instead keep a watchful eye on the older as they started practising an older choreography of theirs.

As the day went by, so did Minho’s patience thin, the man clearly frustrated over something, bottling the emotion up and letting it simmer inside, only to inevitably blow up in everyone’s faces like a devastating bomb.

Bae wasn’t blind, he had noticed the little signs. How his hyung’s moves were more forceful than usual, how his lips dipped down just a tad bit further into a barely noticeable scowl, or how he kept carding a hand through his hair, the strands on the verge of falling out from the repetitive, forceful motion. The younger noticed these easily, having carved everyone’s habits into his very soul.

The two idols were similar when it came to things like this, never seeking help on their own. Which was also the exact reason Bae knew, he knew Minho wouldn’t just open up to him or to anyone, the man too stubborn for his own good.

A reason that created an interesting dynamic between the dancers, as if they were two temperamental cats, only going to the other on their own terms, allowing the other to catch little glimpses of vulnerability only occasionally. It was a never ending cat and mouse game, only, sitting down and never chasing that mouse being the sole winning condition of this infuriating game.

And so, Bae waited patiently, staying by his huffing hyung’s side silently, even as the man’s aura screamed pure violence and murder, scaring everyone else away and rightfully so. Nobody doubted that Minho could end someone’s life with a single spoon alone, one he was eating his beloved pudding with.

Time crept by as the two just sat there on the sofa, a space left between them that would be considered much too wide on any other day. A stupid little show was put on the TV, a mere background noise no doubt, since none gazed at the device securely mounted on the wall. Instead, they were both scrolling on their phones, a rare occasion for the artist, the man quickly using it to check as many fanarts as he could, all created by their beloved STAY.

Shuffling of clothes could be heard, the little ‘thunk’ following it as the now empty plastic container was placed onto the table, its delicious contents already eaten long ago.

A soft touch reached Bae’s hand, a limb he had purposefully left resting on the pillows closer to his hyung, not fully tucked into his side.

By the time he had locked and put away his phone -not like he had been actually paying attention to it the last 5 minutes-, another hand had snaked itself into his, a head heavily falling onto his lap. That same, clutched hand of his was led to a nest of fluffy hair, no request needed to be gently buried there, drawing little symbols into the skin.

Bae could feel the tension leaving Minho’s body, those hunched shoulders sagging, taut muscles resting at last. A barely audible sigh could be heard, but the younger knew better than to comment on it, letting it silently disappear in the peaceful silence enveloping the two.

With every stroke and every gentle scratch the other melted more and more into him, practically turning into putty in his hands. Not a single word was exchanged, the serene atmosphere never broken, only enhanced by the quiet, satisfied hums that occasionally left the older’s mouth.

The moon was high up in the sky by the time Bae had finally fallen asleep, Minho curled up by his side, head still comfortably laying on his dongsaeng’s thigh. When Chan had noticed this scene, having come back from another long session of songwriting, a smile so soft sat onto his face that it seemed unreal. He gazed at his dear members, his family, for a few more minutes before grabbing a blanket from his room, covering the two as much as he could. The cat stirred, making the wolf still in his place, earning a relieved sigh once he had settled back and started softly snoring once again.

Even the strong needed some time to recuperate, to rest and gather their strength, and Bae felt honoured to grant that for his beloved, cat-like hyung, the one who always cared for him quietly. He would always be by his side, to provide some silent support, no matter what.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids oc #skz oc #stray kids 9th member #skz 9th member #glacial prince #bang chan #lee know #lee minho #request #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #stray kids fluff #skz fluff

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craske · 13 days

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I don't want to sound pretentious when i say all this (and this ended up being really long??), but i really do think you don't need to uphold your online presence so consciously, or even at all. There's nothing wrong with being "inactive" because trying to show up for everything is some sick standard social media made up. Maybe it might be difficult to uphold an idgaf personality, but i can say from my experience it could be better to try a little bit at a time. I can say that they really do mean it when you can have quiet admirers, from my experience all the more. Maybe they're too shy to put silly tags when they reblog or just put a like on your post. And I don't think you have to worry too much about sticking to one piece of media and be afraid the people following you won't like you anymore for posting different content. At most, I just believe they won't really care enough to unfollow you or stop engaging entirely. The most important thing to me is that you stick around doing the things you actually want to do, even if you're just showing up every month or so, or black out for a year or more. Because the people who do care will be overjoyed to see you whatever you post or share, especially when you come back after a long time. It really is discouraging when you don't see that actively, maybe because we're so used to seeing numbers that relate to our worth. But i like to imagine we're waving at each other from a distance or smiling through a window, as horrid as online landscapes can be nowadays. I know i'm running my mouth here but i just wanted to share my experience because i um. 🙋 also think youre really cool and awesome and i love whatever work you do and the fact you share it is an amazing thing enough i feel privelaged and youre humor is funny and whatever new stuff you post is just introducing me to things i'll also think is cool down the line and i really do wish i can share my appericiation more and evolve from being a quiet admirer /inhales/ 👍 i would say this is a sort of love letter from the gas station but i also mean it as kai 👋 i hope you're doing well in uni or that it gets better soon or in whatever it is youre doing now. and whether or not youre online, i hope youre doing the things you enjoy 🫶

okay i needed some time to figure out how to respond to this ask because theres a lot (in a /pos way dont worry) so ill start off with saying that i really really and i do mean it Really appreciate what you said here. Especially lately, ive been struggling with being active online outside of small spaces where there are just me and a few other people. might be me feeling overwhelmed when i say something into the void with a high chance of no response, though i wont fault anyone for that. i myself know interaction is scary so i do get it. ever since i started using the internet ive stuck to my small online bubbles so yeah interaction kind of intimidating online

and though i agree it does feel discouraging to sometimes see no feedback or much of a reaction, i try not to be bummed out about it myself because im also a silent admirer of many artists online. so like ive said before i do understand that sometimes people are shy and dont interact directly and theres no pressure really to change that. just the idea that there are people that like what i make is really nice, even though i suffer from the same issue that maaany other artists have and i need to actively remind myself of that.

about sticking to one fandom its a very recent but big issue to me because ive been DEEP in the persona pit for like 4 years, and i certainly built an audience around that. i know there will always be people that stick around no matter what but despite that theres always that nagging feeling that maaybe things will crumble. obviously thats not true but human mind fucking SUCKS

as the final note ill say it again that your message means a lot to me and i thank you a lot for it <333 im soo flattered by your words and they made my past two days, thank you soo much

#as for uni im almost done with it!!#wowzers masters degree i will kill myself tho bc idk what to do after it #but thats an issue for the future me i guess!!!#anyway again thank you so much your message was really sweet and meant a lot to me #im sorry i dont reach out much like i said interaction online is soo scary and also insanely difficult lately?? it sucks #as the twitter users say thank you oomfie <3 #ask #k4ik4yk04 #long post

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qasian-tech-support · 5 years

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#this circle from tumblr and one from discord and one for my irl friends and a brief one for my family’ and then theres the matter that i #still need to make a will and get it legally approved once my 18th comes. or tbh i might just go silently. its not like its too out of #character. i was supposed to take care of mels blog and now the only traffic it gets is reblogs i think. there were one or two discords that #i saw as a family of sorts for a couple of years prior to this year but because of everything im basically always idle and never check #notifications and a few people left one of the main ones i was apart of and since ive been popping in maybe once every two months theres #dozens of people that i dont recognize and i know theres like.. i feel like it would be rude to come back in and act like everythings normal #like how it used to be for me and i know itd be rude or jarring to suddenly appear and insert into these new friendships or circles that #have been formed and. im used to being a bit of a loner. i dont want to inconvenience anyone or make anyone feel uncomfortable. and i know #im hard to talk to because i use a weird mixed vocabulary because i feel a compulsion to use words to try to convey as close as what i mean #but it ends up causing confusion or feeling clinical and without anything behind it. and it takes a while to learn to mimic other styles #like adding ^^ to stuff but anymore i feel nausea from doing it because its again like im trying to scrape together the remains of when i #was happier so i analyze what i say longer than i should and not only does it not feel genuine but by the time i actually go to reply to #something the moments already passed and id just be. left.#i know these posts will come back to harm me in some way. everything i do always does. i cant find a good reason to post it other than that #i can hold it over my own head and torture myself by not deleting it and feeling my heart die from shame over and over and over #i mean i expected full on waves of negativity and toxicity or whatever when I first started branching onto online stuff and its odd that i #still havent gotten any. maybe i need to direct it at myself through these posts. maybe itll be easier to decide once someone tells me i #should just end everything. then again maybe thats just me being drastic and dramatic. something something attention seeking. i used to #hate thinking that i was being attention seeking but now i still hate it and i weaponize that hatred to loathe myself even more creating a #cycle that im uncomfortably aware of but that i dont deserve to escape in any way barring death.#am i going to get out of this hell hole rural town and to USC? i dunno but if i do im going to immediately seek mental help. but the most #likely outcome is that when the date that i set to judge myself comes I’ll probably end up dying. i wont give up on colleges but rn i #dont really know which ill choose.#i should probably shut up before i write another damn essay about myself in these tags #this should be enough to torture myself #delete later #suicide tw #negative tw #...

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nagipops · 3 years

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can i request a naruto x reader frenemies to lovers? i’ll leave the rest up to you 😘 love your writing.

“BUT WE HATE EACHOTHER!”

FEATURING: naruto uzumaki!

SUMMARY: in which you catch feelings for a certain yellow-haired nuisance. what you didn’t know? the feeling was mutual.

WARNINGS: this is a modern school au!

A/N: thank you very much, anon! i had some fun with this one :)

“Naruto!” you cried, fisting the collar of his shirt and dragging his face mere inches from yours. “Give it back!”

The blonde in front of you grimaced in pain, clenching his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut. “Hck— okay! Jeez!” Raising his arm up while dangling in midair, your phone shimmered within his firm grip as he held it out to you helplessly. You dropped him from your grasp and reached for your phone, when all of a sudden, he sped off at the speed of light in the opposite direction.

“NARUTO!!” you seethed, taking off after the hysterical blue-eyed boy.

You lay in bed that night after a wild goose chase to retrieve your phone from your sworn enemy when you turned on your device and gaped at your lock screen.

A blonde head and a familiar peace sign stared back at you, illuminating the dark room in a warm glow. Your initial furious reaction slowly gave way as you continued to stare at your lock screen, noticing how... maybe he was kind of... cute? His cheeky grin, bright eyes, and youthful demeanor charmed just about anyone. You had no idea how he did it, but it was somehow starting to have an effect on you.

A tiny smile on your face, you unlocked your phone to find every single app cover displaying Naruto’s shit-eating grin.

“NARUTO!!!!!” you shrieked, throwing your phone at the wall and pulling the covers over your head.

Biting your lip to keep a laugh from bursting out, you silently zipped up the front pocket of Naruto’s busted backpack, sliding his nearly obliterated phone into the sleeve of your hoodie. You slipped quietly back into your seat, hiding his phone behind the book you were pretending to read while you got to work unlocking it.

Shoot. A password.

Trying to recall his birthday, you realized that he probably wasn’t smart enough to set his password to something cryptic like that, so you punched in the age-old code: 0000.

And just like that, you were in his phone.

“Yes!” you whispered, swiping through the various screens in attempt to find any juicy secrets, but his screen was so broken that it was futile to read anything with the naked eye. “Kami, how the hell does he see anything? No wonder his texts are always so incoherent.”

An idea popped into your mind as you headed over to the messaging app to try and dig up some scandalous gossip.

His texts had absolutely zero substance.

A lot of nagging Shikamaru to hang out with him, walls of bizarre emojis to Sasuke, spamming random words to Sakura, and so forth. You facepalmed yourself at the thought of Naruto actually having the brains to have a real conversation with someone over text.

You sighed as you scrolled mindlessly through the thread of texts between him and Sakura, when something caught your eye. Words like “crush”, “confession”, “tell them”, and “cute” stuck out to you, piquing your curiosity.

After taking a closer look, you spotted your name amidst the frantic texts from Naruto. Examining the screen even closer, you read a few of the messages between them.

Hehe, sakura chan, i took (y/n)’s phone today 😝

baka, they’re gonna hate you for that now! do you want them to neglect you forever??

I ALSO CHANGED THEIR LOCK SCREEN, do you think they’ll like it??

ARE YOU STUPID??!!!! DONT COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOUR CONFESSION DOESNT FRICKING WORK

I THINK THEY ALREADY KNOW I LIKE THEM!!!!!!! YOU TOLD ME TEASING MAKES THEM HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU, RIGHT????

WHAT EVER. DON’T COME CRYING TO ME WITH A BROKEN HEART.

Naruto’s phone slipped from your fingers as your eyes glazed over in shock. The merciless teasing, the endless phone stealing, the ceaseless name-calling were all just Naruto’s crappy attempts at... flirting?

You then recalled all of the times he playfully patted your head a little too hard, to the point where you thought he was just abusing you for fun. You recalled all the times you caught him staring at you before he stuck out his tongue, when you just thought he was being an annoying brat. You recalled all the little tiny hints here and there, masked by his immature quirks and behaviors.

Before your thoughts could run any further, you felt a strong, familiar hand grab the top of your head, and you were suddenly all too aware of the cracked phone sitting in your lap and the warmth of your cheeks.

Oh shit.

The hand tilted your head backwards until you were staring upside down at a blonde haired, blue-eyed boy with an irritated scowl on his face. “What are you doing?”

“Hey, it’s only fair, you plastered your own face all over my damn phone, alright?” You felt the blood rush to your head from being tilted backwards, the roots of your hair stinging from Naruto’s grip. “Let me go, I didn’t even find anything good!”

“Uh-huh.” He released your head, leaving your scalp aching and your vision blurry as he reached to grab his phone from your lap. His eyes squinted at his screen, examining it for any weird changes to his device. “Hey, you cracked it even more here!”

You gave him an incredulous look. “I— what?” You followed his gaze to the right side of his phone, searching for the crack to no avail. “How can you even notice that crap?!”

After huffing a sigh, a devilish grin spread across Naruto’s face as he shoved his phone into his pocket before smacking the back of your head with his palm. “Payback!”

“Hey!” you cried, rubbing the stinging nape of your neck. “First you pull my hair, now this?!”

He chuckled, flashing you a cheeky close-eyed grin. “It’s only fair!” His expression slowly grew serious as he turned to look you directly in the eyes. “Ah... hey, (Y/N)-chan, how would you feel about going on a date with me to Ichiraku today?”

You snorted in half surprise, half disbelief. “Are you crazy? We...” your mind traveled back to the strange text messages between him and Sakura. “We... we hate each other.”

Naruto’s eyebrows shot up, his eyes widening before he broke into a bashful laugh. “We-well... yeah, right. We hate each other.”

The two of you stared into eachother’s eyes for what felt like an eternity. You noticed the tiniest bit of affection in his blue eyes and the lightest blush on his cheeks as he held your gaze.

Slapping your desk and shooting to your feet, you broke the insufferable, lingering silence. “Well, can’t say no to free ramen.” Smirking, you brushed past him, throwing a teasing glance over your shoulder. “Well? What are you waiting for? Your treat!”

Naruto stood paralyzed behind your desk, his stunned face frozen in shock before melting into an exasperated yet affectionate grin.

“(Y/N), you idiot...” he muttered before chasing you through the city all the way to his favorite ramen shop.

if you enjoyed this post, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) feel free to request here, and make sure to read the rules first! have a lovely day everyone <3

#naruto #naruto x reader #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #naruto scenarios #naruto shippuden #naruto uzumaki #naruto uzumaki headcanons #naruto uzumaki x reader #naruto x you #naruto fluff #naruto fanfiction #naruto uzumaki imagines #gn

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starlightervarda · 3 years

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Hey ,i am so sorry you had to go through so much pain and harrassment because of lgbtmazight. You are not alone, there are many others like you in this fandom and outside this fandom who were harassed by this person. Its just so sad this person and her 'i am not racist' friends have made so much antisemitic, racist, xenophobic and "many other" offensive comments and were able to get away with it because of the massive following they had. And when I say massive following, i am pretty sure there is no brown or black people in it. Cause what kind of POC (who have gone through actual shit) follow a white person who preaches about race and talks like they know better than you. This entire racefaking issue is so messed up because people who got harrassed by her never got and will never get half the support and care she gets now.

The entire people in the discord in which she is a mod of is prevented from reblogging or getting involved with post about her whole racefaking issue. Wow!! What kind of discord does that? Are all these people in this discord sock puppets? Does someone have to tell them whats good and whats bad? I pity these people who are silent and supporting her.

Its funny her bff supporters are still posting "cute tropes and fics about joe" , and are silent about the fact she used racial slur on marwan kenzari. Its disgusting. They dont get to celebrate joe, when they can't call out the racist who used racial slur on him!!

Again I am so sorry about all the trauma you had to go through. All i can do is say that you have my support, love and hugsss!!

Thank you, nonny

It is severely disgusting the amount of support she got, that no one from any of the groups she's lied about belonging to, ever or will ever get.

This is why I'm certain that her friends knew that she was lying. You don't spend months in groupchats with someone who talks as much as she did, and goes into (lousily researched, stereotypical, offensive, hilariously illogical) detail about her ~life's story~ without picking up on the huge inconsistencies, or not having personal conversations.

This again, goes back to my point that she claimed to be Muslim/Mediterranean/MENA while the actual people who are those identities got hostile treatment from everyone that was up her ass and smugly used her words as permission to attack others on the basis that disagreeing with her was 'racist'.

It was suspicious at first, but now it's an admission of guilt. None of them claimed to be shocked / horrified / disgusted / hurt by her being exposed. They either closed their inboxes or vanished to avoid being held accountable, or are brazenly continuing on as they were, defending her, threatening people and going on anon to harass me and everyone that suffered thanks to them.

This was a plot cooked up by some of the worst people to sow discord and dominate a fandom, while chasing out all the people who posed a 'threat' to her status as the Token and the Only Source on shit she never cared to even Google.

Oh, and apparently her besties are defending her on Twitter, claiming that this dissertation of all her lies, taken from her own accounts, is false so they can downplay her being a tankie genocide denier. That and apparently she also racefaked being an Asian American to have power in a C-Pop/K-Pop fandom???

They don't care about Joe, or anyone that resembles him. In fact, they really seem to despise him, and Nicky and anyone from their part of the world. They've made that very clear. She saw Marwan Kenzari in that gifset styled like so many MENA dads - including my own - and her first thought was 'I'm gonna call him a racial slur to be cute'. If she said that on her blog, imagine what else she's said in her servers with her defense squad?

All he is the excuse they use to attack others, and show-off how Woke and Totally Not Racist they are. Because trying to hold them accountable got you accused of everything they were doing, and have harassment campaigns sicced on you and character assassinations like she shit she posted on Twitter about myself and nizarnizarblr -- by the way, her besties spread a rumour that he was a racefaker because he disagreed with her. Accusing others of being what you are must be their favourite pastime :))))

Seriously, that was the purpose of Helene's brownface: a carte blanche to be as racist, xenophobic, antisemitic, and openly share monstrous beliefs like blood libel, genocide denial, praise for dictatorships and systems that have caused the suffering and deaths of millions. Because she, and they know, that if she did this as the Rich White French Woman she truly is, she would have been run off the site.

Anyone in that Discord you mention is a coward and an enabler at best and a supporter of everything she and her friends have said and done at worst.

What kind of a bullshit excuse is this? I've cut off years of friendship for 1/4 of what Helene's done, and they're kissing the feet of this sociopathic stranger to remain in a shitty server? GO JOIN ANOTHER ONE, YOU SPINELESS DEMONS!

Seriously, what the fuck do they mean a mod 'banned' them from reblogging a post -- that proves she has spent over 10 yrs being and doing everything you claim to be against? What is wrong with you that you find this acceptable and would rather remain in a server run by her than leave and support her victims? Shove your head further up her unwashed French ass, why don't you?

Everyone who knew her knew she was a fraud, and I refuse to believe anything else.

The reason the Racefaking Tankie Defense Squad is not dropping and denouncing her is that they hope that, if not enough people reblog that post, people will forget and she can continue as she was. This must be why she's neither deleted her blog or changed that URL, declaring herself 'lgbtmazight', when she is no such thing. They hope to reestablish their chokehold on The Old Guard, if not another fandom, riding on the fear, respect and specialness of all her faked identities and bullshit stories of suffering.

They care more about the status and power she afforded them than any of the people whose skins she's worn and the others they've hurt.

This post, along with all the others @lgbtracefaker have posted, need to be boosted. People are still reblogging her racist shit as 'informative posts from a trusted source', have her listed as a 'sensitivity reader' and have had their view of MENA history and culture shaped by this overprivileged racist French woman.

Thank you again for the support and the tip-off about that server. I wish I had a list of the people in there so I could block them.

#this fandom is a fucking nightmare #lgbtmazight #tog #the old guard #marwan kenzari

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imaginethathaikyuu · 3 years

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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ghostofskywalker · 3 years

Note

i need advice, i am a pretty sporadic writer (i was in your fic exchange last fall, under the name ithehellisbucky, its my side blog) i write every day for a week and pump out three stories, and then i get 4 notes total and go radio silent for 5 months. i have done this many times with between 500- 6k words per fic. i never got any recognition, and as much as i didnt want to pressure anyone into anything my main reason for writing is to create a world to feel safe in, and when no one joins you in your world, you feel really lonely. i have pretty bad mental health issues, so i often switch from fandom to fandom (but i loop back around a bunch and am very committed) and i am in need of reassurance. im gonna finish up a request i got a while ago, and then im gonna go work on a series i wrote the first part of. so, my questions are:

should i publish under my main blog with a large following that i dont really want to be the same as my writing, or should i go back to my highly refined side writing blog that gave me 0 notes for 5000 words and 30 followers

how can i help myself write

how can i write better

and how can i grow my following

sorry for the intensity, i just need to ask someone :)

hi again! don’t feel bad, i totally understand needing someone to talk to 💕 i think the best way for me to answer is to just tackle your questions, i’ll do that first

i’ve gotten a similar question before, so i’ll also link that if you want to take a look :)

although i prefer a sideblog specifically for my xreader fics, i can understand why it’s not always the best idea. it’s kinda hard to get to know your mutuals, and replying to comments is always a bit awkward if the person doesn’t know your main blog. what you could do is post the fic to your sideblog and then reblog it to your main, that’s what i did for my first couple fics. this way if anyone follows your main and they also read the type of fic you’re posting to your sideblog, they might drop in and follow it if they already follow your other blog. or, you could make an entirely new blog and start completely fresh.

i would say the best way to get myself to write is to find like random prompt list on here and write from that. sometimes when i see people reblog prompt lists i’ll skim over them and i’ll be like “oh that prompt might work with bucky,” so if there’s a prompt that catches your eye just write it!

i’ve found that getting more comfortable writing allows me to both write more and improve my writing skills. i’m definitely not the person to talk to about time management though, i’ve been telling myself i need to take a break from writing since last october and i still sit down to try to write nearly every day like a monkey dancing for spare change at a carnival

as far as growing your following, the only thing i can think of is time. if your fics aren’t getting any notes, check to see if they made it into the tags immediately after you post, because tumblr has a notorious habit of not putting fics in the tags, and that stacks the system against new writers big time. other than that, events are a good way to get your name out :) i’m still running exchanges, but i’m doing them through tumblr rather than ao3 now because it’s a lot easier for everyone, and there’s just more people on here. also writing challenges are great, because those are normally done for high follower counts, so when the challenge runner reblogs your fic, more people will see it. you could also do one of those posts that’s like “i’m looking for mutuals” and then tag all the characters you write in the tags so people can find you!

also, another thing i discovered is that people don’t necessarily want 5k+ word fics. i’ve found that anywhere from 1k to 2.5k is a nice sweetspot for my writing. don’t freak out about your writing being too short, and as long as you like what you put out, other people will too.

also finding other writers who are in the same boat as you helps so much! a lot of tumblr (whether people want to admit it or not) is give and take, so if you find some people and you all reblog and hype each other up, it just benefits everyone :)

i hope this helped! if you have other questions i’m here 💕

#ghostofskywalker.ask #blondefrnk

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nikkigrand · 4 years

Note

i saw that you've been reblogging posts and stuff, but you dont update, which is totally fine! no pressure!! but i've noticed that you're such a loner in fandom and barely talk to anyone, and disappear alot??? can i ask why?? we all love your work and would love to be more involved with you

I wanna start by saying thank you for reading and supporting my work. It gives me the fuzzies to know that people like the things I put out.

Now, on to your question! I guess this will be a long one lol.

I’ve been a part of the Naruto fandom for about 15 years now - as a silent lurker and as a contributor. That’s a large part of my life.

When I first started, fandom was this thing where you could unleash your creativity upon the world and people’s comments were either constructive criticisms (such as spelling, grammar, plot, character development, etc.) or praise for your work.

There were flames, of course, but i can’t remember if these flames were personally incendiary or along the spectrum of, “your character is a Mary Sue, and this is terrible and I hate it.”

There were dark!fics, squik!fics, fetish!fics, all types of fics that were creative in a way that would challenge the author and the reader. And we all knew that just because they liked writing about it, it didn’t mean that they did these things in real life.

In fact, fanfiction.net hadn’t even been around for a decade when I first logged on. I only created an account 5 years after finding it. I remember when character slots were being updated each time a new Shippuden chapter was released.

Don’t get me wrong, these were also the days of active character bashing. I guess things in that respect haven’t changed, but back then, if you didn’t like a character or a pairing, you just didn’t read or actively search for it. This is where the term “Don’t like, don’t read” or “DLDR” came from.

Now, you’ll have people who disagree with what you contribute to the point where they’ll actually dox you. That was simply unheard of back in the early 2000s and 2010′s. For some, fandom is a secret part of their lives - a guilty pleasure, something they don’t want others to know about. That’s why usernames exist.

A lot of us write erotica, and some of us don’t want people knowing that - i sure don’t.

And now, because users are becoming more guarded, they feel protective over their work, who they share it with, and who they allow into their circles. Which is fine for them, I guess, that’s their prerogative. But, I miss the days where fandom was all inclusive.

For example, I tried joining a server for a pairing I really enjoyed and was excited because I could talk about this thing that brought me joy with other people who would also be excited to share what they thought. Except, I was told I could not join because my content “made them uncomfortable” and I need more recommendations from other users.

Being told I could essentially “not sit with them,” was a Mean Girl way of saying I did not fit into their mold and their ideals of what fandom should be. Their 2020 definition of a fandom “safe space” is not the same as it was back then.

And that absolutely blew my mind. That I would be excluded from an environment that used to be so inclusive that I could theoretically write a story about a tailed beast orgy and no one would have batted an eye.

I mean, what is this? An exclusive club I need recommendation letters to join? The hell? Is this college? A corporate job? The Illuminati???

Since when was that even a THING in fandom??

So now, I keep to myself.

I disappear often because this is just a hobby. If I want to write, I will write. If I don’t, I don’t. Once I feel like this is a job, it is no longer enjoyable for me. I am under no obligation to post anything I write, I only do so because I want to share.

I have never been a writer who updates based on reviews or kudos. I have stories with over 30k words that have 8 reviews, and I don’t care. I have stories with 10k words with 100 reviews, and I still don’t care. Why? Because I write for ME. Because it makes ME feel better. And if you enjoy what makes me feel better, then that is simply a bonus for me. (this doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate reviews, they’re just not necessary for me.)

Bashing does not affect me, I couldn’t care less what losers who have nothing better to do have to say. Like, how weird do you have to be to attack someone over fictional characters? I mean, there’s weird and then there’s fucking weird.

So, yeah, I keep to myself because the Naruto fandom has become toxic and I like keeping my blog a drama free zone. This has always been my own version of a safe space. This blog is still in the 2000s days of fandom. Back when it was FUN. I talk about what I want, post what I want, and do what I want.

Some people may see me as cut throat and a hard ass, but I don’t believe in bowing down to people I don’t know over the internet lol. I have thick enough skin to ignore weirdos.

Don’t get me wrong, any of my readers can message me and talk to me and ask me anything without fear. I believe in respect, kindness, and courtesy. I have NOT ONCE ever treated one of my followers like they were beneath me, or like they should be grateful for what I’ve shared with them.

Because for me, that is not what fandom is about.

#fandom is supposed to be FUN #some of you take it too seriously #thats bad for your health

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silverjirachi · 4 years

Text

ok so like i wanna be real with you about what being a writer/artist/anyone who posts content on the internet is like sometimes, especially from the perspective of someone who has anxiety/depression etc

so on the one hand there’s that (and this has been said before) some of this art is shared with you, not for you. sometimes we make stuff just for us, but then we post it because we’re proud of it and it made us happy and we want it to make other people happy as well.

and then this thing we make that we’re proud of that we wanted to share for other people to see seems like it falls into the silent abyss of cyberspace and no one responds and you question whether it matters at all. and suddenly the thing you shared and were proud of becomes something you question if it was really as good as you thought it was, or if rather by posting it you’re being annoying and the people who like/reblog/comment/engage with any of the things you make in any capacity are only doing it because they feel bad for you.

on top of that, then you get afraid to question/talk about it or open up about how you feel because you think it will come off as narcissitic or attention-seeking. so you stay silent and make the next thing and the same thing happens and the cycle repeats itself.

for example, those of you who watch my videos (thank you!), you probably notice that i make a lot of self-deprecating humor. part of this is just who i am as a person. but the other part is because half of the time i do actually struggle with those beliefs and the “haha this is trash content” is very real. sometimes if i’m in a really bad place i have to fight about three different internal voices telling me that i should stop because no one cares and i’m being annoying and i have a screechy voice and by sharing this i’m just reminding people how bad i am etc etc etc. i’m not saying this for you to say “oh no your content isnt trash you’re wonderful” every time i make one of those jokes or talk about this, i’m just telling you that sometimes it is what it is and i don’t need sympathy for it, it just happens, and i have to fight against it personally a lot

the same goes for writing etc etc. I dont post my art on here but from what i’ve seen lately about the HUGE gap between likes and reblogs for artists on here, i know they struggle with it as well. and some of them really need that kind of exposure because they’re trying to make art a career, they need to take in commissions and every reblog is a better chance for that to happen. we work on multiple platforms oftentimes to try to get the word out but that doesnt mean it’s always effective and that the same shit doesnt happen there too. it does. always.

then there’s the thing like... we post it online because we want it to be shared. we want it to be seen. and due to a variety of factors ranging from fucked up algorithms to just people “lurking” vs. leaving likes/comments/reblogs, sometimes or oftentimes it’s not seen and that’s for me when the questioning begins. and i ask myself if i complain about this am i annoying and begging for attention? but here’s the thing guys.. most artists dont WANT to do art in a vaccuum. If they do, they don’t share it. That’s why i don’t post a lot of my drawings. Thats more just for me. But stuff like writing and other content that I HAVE posted, and same for any writer or creator, has inherently passed that threshold. We want engagement, we want it to be seen, so yes, we want attention. And that isnt a bad thing because that art needs an audience and we want it to have one.

When we share things, we want you to see it and we want you to engage with it. We want to make you happy, we want to make you think, we want to entertain you. We want to make a difference in your life, even if just a small and momentary difference. But it is impossible for us to reach through the screen and see you. When I do live theatre, I can see and feel my audience so I can tell how they’re feeling and reacting and it’s great. But I imagine if I tried to do a one-person-show behind a one-way curtain without hearing or seeing the audience or even being able to tell if there is an audience at all, it would probably be a very different, and really sucky, experience, and that’s what posting content on the internet is like.

That’s why it makes writers’ and artists’ day when we get comments on our work. That is the only way we are able to tell that we reached through the screen. Even if it’s dumb, even if it’s incoherent, even if you think you’re being annoying, really, more often than not, the simplest comment can really make us feel that way. Because of everything I just mentioned above. All we wanna do is make you happy, entertain you, give you the joy our art gave us, and it’s scary and uncertain when you send it out there, and even more scary and uncertain when you hear little to nothing back.

I also have compared this to when I used to teach a class of 90 students. It was a gen ed theatre course and teaching it genuinely sucked ass for much the same reason. I also just get really stressed out teaching. But when you’re teaching a big class like that, you look out and see any number of faces with expressions ranging from “bored,” “on the phone,” “interested,” “awake,” to completely unreadable. And the completely unreadable ones are the worst. Posting stuff on the internet is like teaching a class full of completely anonymous, completely unreadable students.

But, in the same vein, in every class i taught, there was always a small handful of people who seemed genuinely interested in the topic. They’d raise their hands, ask questions, go above and beyond for assignments. I still think about the students in my classes from years ago who seemed like they enjoyed being there, or at the very least tried a little bit more than everyone else. They were a beacon of hope that what I was doing and saying mattered. So when I got scared of those bored, unreadable faces, I’d look to the two or three people who I knew cared, and it gave me courage to keep going. It was like I was teaching the class just for them.

Getting comments, reblogs, any equivalent of engagement on any platform is like having those interested students. When creators talk about their audience being the best part of what they do, it really is the truth. Because a lot of time everything else can be scary and uncertain and suck. And so then sometimes even when those hateful inner voices are getting the best of me, I do it for the one or two people in my class who make my day of teaching brighter when I see them. So to any of you who engage with artists, writers, and creators in any way- seriously we do it just for you sometimes, and you have no idea how much even the tiniest poke through the screen means to us.

This was a lot longer than I intended it to be but yeah I just kind of needed to get it all out of me because it’s personally been something i’m struggling with right now, and I know others do too. And again this not to say like “NEH NEH NEH WHY ARENT I GETTING ATTENTION” but just to be upfront about what it’s like so that you on the other side of screen understand that you do make a difference and can also have a positive effect on our lives, the same way we want to have one for you.

#long post #current mood #writing #depression #anxiety #mental illness

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the-marvel-imagines-blog · 5 years

Text

Madness | Chpt. 6

Requests are Open

Chapter Title: “Collateral Damage”

Pairing: Loki x Original Female Character

Word Count: 4,786

Warnings: hurt/no comfort, Angry!Eva, violence, Angry!Loki

Name Pronunciations: Hjalmar: “He-all-mar” | Aaldir: “All-deer” | Ephinea: “Eh-fin-ee-uh”

A/N: I want to take a moment to apologize for my absence. I’ve had some health problems recently, and within the last couple of weeks, I’ve lost entire days thanks to said problems. I’m finally feeling well enough again to post, but during my time being sick, I’ve managed to come up with quite a bit of content. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying what I’m writing. Even if not every chapter is you cup of tea, it means a lot to see that people are leaving likes, messaging me, reblogging, etc.! Please note that I have taken and will be taking a lot of creative liberties pertaining to these characters. This will be shown in excess during the upcoming chapters, so I just wanted to give a bit of a warning. There are some timeline changes, character changes, etc. Once again, thank you so much for reading. I love you all <3

Tagged: @teddyboobear @alledeglyfunny (anyone who wants to be tagged can message me and ask. It’s not a problem at all)

“Looks like you lost,” I dictated as I dragged him down the stairs to the dungeons. My entire body felt like it was on fire, but it didn’t stop the shiver from running down my spine at the thought of what he was capable of. Ezra showed us something none of us could’ve expected. He was skilled in ways that we were unprepared for, ways I didn’t even know could exist. I still trembled at the thought of my slain comrades-members of Odin’s kingsguard-rising and fighting against us. The more people of ours Ezra killed, the more people he had fighting for him. The battle was unfair and horrific, but we still won even after members of the kingsguard forced Odin away from the situation. Ezra had surrendered after we had gotten him onto his knees. My sword had been pressed against his throat, and all I needed to do was give it one swift motion to kill him. I couldn’t, though.

There was something that kept me from killing him, but I had no idea what it was. Maybe it was the familiarity in those green eyes or the endless knowledge he seemed to have about me. Still, my decision to keep him alive could be useful in the future of Asgard. He was another enemy who would be a prisoner in the dungeons, a man we could retrieve information from. He snickered at me, “you may have won, but what did it cost you?” he asked, glancing down at the wound on my abdomen.

I ignored his comment, feeling the pain radiating from the wound. During the battle, he had taken a swing at Ephinea, a blow I did my best to protect her from. I had pushed her back and tried to put as much distance between him and I as possible, but it wasn’t enough. My sword blocked his axe, and while I struggled to disarm him, I was unaware of the dagger he pulled out until he buried it in my abdomen. The dagger cut right through my training armor-which had not been suitable for battle-and pierced into my flesh. I had not yet seen it, but a piece of me was convinced it was nothing while the rational part of myself was sure it was something much more than I was prepared to deal with. If I could still walk, I was fine.

Behind Ezra and I were the remaining members of the kingsguard who did not sustain significant injuries as well along with Ephinea, Sif, and the warriors three. Thor had taken to the throne room with his father to discuss what would come next. Everyone in the dungeons was silent when they saw the crowd of warriors that it took to secure the newest prisoner. They watched us in a stunned silence, including Loki. I avoided all eye contact with the God of Mischief, still hurt by his actions an entire week ago. While I wished for an empty cell anywhere else in the dungeons, the only free one was directly across from Loki’s, which would undoubtedly cause me to worry much more than I should have. The cells were practically impenetrable, and even if Ezra managed to break free of his cell, there would be no real reason for him to go after Loki.

As we stood in front of his cell, he turned to face me as I spoke, “this is gonna be your new home. I don’t know where you came from or what you knew before this, but you won’t be going back there anytime soon. You said you haven’t seen a sunrise for more than 300 years?” I asked, and he nodded his head, a grin forming on his lips in anticipation for what I was about to say, “well, be prepared to wait another 300 because you aren’t getting out of here for a long time,” I growled, glaring up at him and his apathetic expression. It was as if he had no remorse at all for the lives he had taken, like the entire battle before this meant nothing to him. His reaction was sickening.

He cocked one of his thick eyebrows, “you have a fire within you that you try to ignore, pet, but you can’t hide it from me,” he replied before lunging forward and attacking my lips with his. It shocked me at first, but I leaned into it after a moment, realizing that I could use it to my advantage. Everyone around us who was there to ensure his safe transportation to his cell was left in shock, but they always knew that I had a plan. My lips molded together with his thick ones, and while I was disgusted to be kissing the man who just killed so many of my people, I knew that this was going to work out in my favor. While Ezra was distracted by the kiss, I eased one of my daggers from its sheath at my side and reached behind him before sinking it into his lower back.

He sucked in a sharp breath, disconnecting our lips. His face distorted in pain, and his chest rumbled as I pulled the dagger from his body, twisting it in the process. Once it was out, I dropped it on the ground behind him and reached into the small pouch on my belt to pull out one of the tracking devices I always carried with me. In one swift motion, I shoved two of my fingers into the wound to deposit the tracking device as deeply as possible. He grunted and twisted to break free of my grasp, but I would not release him. I released the tracking device once I was sure it was embedded deep enough that he could not feel it and dig it out on his own. When I finally removed my fingers, I rested my hand against his wound and focused all of my energy on transferring it over to myself. That was the one downfall of my healing power. I was unable to heal someone without transferring their wounds onto myself. While he was not worthy of my help, I couldn’t leave the wound open for fear that he would just pull the device out. Now, it he wanted to take it out, he would have to cut himself open and dig for it.

As the wound transferred to myself, I gritted my teeth, but nothing could compare to the wound on my abdomen. It was like if one had been stabbed by Surtur himself, a scraped knee could never compare to it, so the pain was far more tolerable. Once I finished healing his wound, I glared up at him, “you’re going to have a lot of time to think while you’re down here, and that’s all you get to do. If you move, I’ll know about it. If you speak, I’ll know about it. If you have any thoughts about breaking out of your cell, I will know about it. I didn’t kill you today because I believe in second chances. If you fail to cooperate or if you become a threat to anyone I know or love, I will not hesitate to kill you,” I growled at him.

He nodded his head, “my execution would be against the Allfather’s wishes. It’s a beautiful sentiment-it truly is-but...tell me, pet, how will you protect the two people you love most when one is here and one is on Midgard?” he asked, referencing her once more.

My eyes widened, and he smirked at the look of dread that was clear on my face. I saw my reflection in his eyes and saw a girl who had everything to lose, someone who had lost so much already. As my protective instincts kicked in, I grew furious that he even put their safety in question. I pulled my fist back and landed a hard punch against his cheek. When his head snapped to the side to accommodate the blow, I swiped his feet out from under him to bring him down to the ground. As he caught himself on his knees, I pulled out my other dagger and pressed it against his throat with one hand while I grabbed a fistful of his hair with the other. I squatted down to be at his level, “say it again,” I growled.

He smirked, “and what if I did? What if I threatened them again?” he asked, challenging me, “would you kill me, an unarmed man on his knees? Would you take my life the same way your enemies took your friends life on Vanaheim? You and I both know that you don’t have what it takes,” he hissed, bringing up Hjalmar. My chest tightened, “the only way to save the ones you love so dearly is to accept your destiny, to accept what you’re truly meant to be.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “and what is that?”

“A god,” he answered with a smile as he leaned into my blade against his throat, “just like me.”

I shook my head, my entire body trembling as anger and rage built up in my chest, “I am nothing like you,” I growled, furious that he would even try to compare the two of us. He fought and killed so many of my people and raised them back to be monsters. What was it for? I only fought when it needed to be done. I didn’t seek out confrontation. I fought, and even killed, the few who put the lives of the many at stake, and it always sat with me. The eyes of my victims never left my mind, for I was aware that I had taken someone’s loved one away from them. Ezra showed in the short time I knew him that he was nothing like that. He killed without remorse, and I saw no conflict in his eyes once it was over. We were nothing alike.

He chuckled, “that’s where you’re wrong, pet. You and I are more alike than you know, and that’s how I know, without the shadow of a doubt, that you’ll lose both of them in time,” he said, and my heart felt like it would fall through the floor. How did he know all of my deepest and darkest fears? That was always the one thing that scared me the most: losing the ones I loved. Of course, it was the fear of so many people, but he was able to pull up the two people I cared for more than anything else and use their safety against me, “it’s in your nature. You’ll always lose,” he added.

My chest rose and fell as I struggled to find air. It felt like his threats were taking the air from my lungs, and I felt like I would suffocate. I saw how big a threat he was, but we managed to bring him down together. I didn’t want to imagine what Cul’s entire army could do. Everything had been thrown at us so quickly, as we had no knowledge of who Cul was or that Odin even had an older brother at all. Everything that happened that day just made me feel uncertain of everything. Still, I couldn’t show Ezra that, “and what about you? You’re the man who kneels before me with my dagger against his throat. You lost,” I hissed.

“You’ll need me soon enough,” he remarked, gesturing down to the stab wound on my abdomen that throbbed with a pain I never experienced before. The wound hurt badly enough that it felt like I would be sick from the pain. I had been stabbed before, and the wounds never felt quite like that. Perhaps, it had just been too long, and I forgot the sensation. I shook the thoughts from my mind and focused on him once more as he continued, “and the moment you come to me, begging for my help, is the moment when you’ll finally realize that you are the one who has lost,” he sneered, his eyes cutting right through me. It was like he could see every weakness and insecurity I had.

“If you or anyone else tries hurt the people I care for, you won’t be able to find shelter from the storm I unleash. You don’t want to make me an enemy,” I threatened him.

He shook his head as if he was disappointed in me, and I furrowed my eyebrows. When his eyes finally met mine once more, he snickered to himself, “you speak like a warrior, but there is no true weight in your words. I know-as well as you do-that you would never pose a threat to the one thing you believe in more than anything else: Life. That’s why I know you won’t kill me. I’m not afraid of you,” he stated, nonchalantly as he leaned into the blade, hard enough to draw blood.

I stood up, sheathing my dagger, before pulling him up onto his feet. He stood much taller than me, but I didn’t feel small in that moment. Even though I was insecure about what would come next, I couldn’t show my fears to the man who was threatening the lives of the people I loved. I needed to be strong, or he would take advantage of my weaknesses. I grabbed a fistfull of his hair and pulled his head down to mine, maintaining eye contact the entire time, “you aren’t afraid of me,” I hissed before leaning in to his ear, “but you should be,” I whispered the line I had been told only once before. It had shaken me to the very core when it was said to me, but I felt powerful now that I was on the other end. My voice was low enough so that only he could hear me, and once I finished, I pulled away from him and shoved him into his cell. Ephinea activated the cell wall before he was even able to regain his balance. I couldn’t help the smile as I watched him struggle to not fall onto his face, but the sharp pain in my abdomen cut that short.

Not wanting to waste anymore time on him, I turned to face the members of the Kingsguard. They were some of the most well-trained warriors Asgard had to offer, so much so that they were trusted with protecting the Allfather himself. The kingsguard lined the halls of the palace at all times of the day and night, and they stood guard over the dungeons as well. I picked up my blood-covered dagger that I had dropped on the floor moments prior and lowered it back into its sheath. I pointed over at Ezra but stayed focused on the warriors before me, “I want two guards posted outside his cell every second of every day. I never want him left unsupervised, and if he is, you’re going to wish that you experienced the Allfather’s wrath instead of mine,” I threatened, feeling my unchecked fury rising further and further in my chest. I surprised myself at the harsh tone of my voice, but I didn’t change it, “if he shows any signs of agitation, I want to know about it. If he takes one step out of line, I want to know about it. If he breathes offbeat, I want to know about it. I want every detail of his existence to be monitored while he’s down here. I want nothing to go unnoticed. If he speaks out of line, I want to know what he said and when he said it. Do you understand?”

I saw the startled expression on every face of the men before me. I had always been known for my calm and collected nature, and the only time I ever broke away from that was when I was in battle. Even then, I had never been so ruthless, especially never with them. They all nodded in agreement to my orders, but one of the guards stepped forward, his eyes just as confused as the rest, “I mean you no offense when I ask this, but...what would you do about it, my lady?”

As I brushed past all of them, needing to take my place with Thor and Odin to discuss our next moves, I answered his question, “I’ll kill him.”

Before I could make it very far at all, Ezra yelled after me, “good luck, pet. I take pity on you for what is about to come,” he shouted, that booming voice echoing throughout the silent dungeons. It was as if every prisoner stood completely still as I walked by-all but one. As I walked past Loki’s cell, I stared straight ahead, refusing to even look his way, still hurt by what transpired between us a week prior. It broke my heart to ignore him that way, but I had to focus on the safety of the Nine Realms. A piece of it was also to protect him. If there was a chance I could convince Ezra that I no longer cared for Loki, that Loki wasn’t a weakness of mine that he could exploit, I was going to take it. It was the best way to protect Loki at that point.

As I walked past his cell, he banged on the wall, yelling my name and trying to attract my attention, but I still didn’t give in. I blinked away the tears in my eyes, my heart shattering as I had to look the other way once more. I did that before, and I couldn’t believe I was doing it again. I was still hurt and angry at him for what he said when I visited him that night, but I could never stay mad at him for too long, not over trivial things like that. Even as I ascended the stairs, I could still hear his pained voice calling my name. My ears began ringing, and the world around me seemed unsteady. When I reached the last few stairs, the wound on my abdomen sent a piercing pain through my entire body, and I jolted forward to accommodate the sudden and intense pain. If Loki had seen me fall as I had in that moment, he would’ve laughed at me before falling down with me, not wanting me to feel isolation and embarrassment. I coughed, and the fleeting thoughts of my love were pushed to the side as I tasted the blood in my mouth. I swallowed it back just as the guards ran over to me to help me up, just like Loki would have done.

*Loki’s POV*

I felt the immeasurable pain that she was experiencing, and I couldn’t help but feel like there was something seriously wrong. That was one of the things that never stopped for me, no matter how deep my madness became. She was still there, an untouched and untainted beauty among the raging wildfire that was my mind. I could always feel her pain, her suffering, her joy, and her love. I could feel every emotion and every ounce of physical pain, which Thanos used to his advantage. While it killed me inside to know that she was hurting, it let me know that she was still alive, wherever she was. This sensation was something new, though. I could barely stand due to the pain in my abdomen. Even when she had transferred his wound onto herself, it couldn’t hold a candle to the pain I began experiencing no long before.

Everyone began filing out of the dungeons aside from the two guards Eva demanded always stand watch over the new prisoner. I had never seen Eva deal with anyone quite like that, but he must’ve made her feel something otherworldly to pull out that side of her. Watching it was exhilarating in a way that I never would’ve expected. I could feel the anger and pain coursing through her veins every moment she stood before him, but I could also feel her conflict. When he mentioned two people-one here and one on Midgard-I found myself trying to piece together who it could be. Perhaps he was speaking about Aaldir or Thor. I was certain she cared little for me after what I did the last time we saw each other. The unnamed person on Earth was what I tried to piece together first, though. Was it Tony Stark? I noticed that the two of them had quite the connection when I was around them on Midgard. What if it was the Soldier? The two of them shared similar beliefs, and he had protected her from near death quite a few times.

When another piercing pain erupted in my abdomen, I gritted my teeth and grunted, reaching for the tender spot. As I tried to breathe through the pain, I heard his laughter from the cell diagonal to mine, “you must be Loki!” he smiled, amused at my pain. I knew that madness well, well enough to know that it was not all his own. Someone had taken advantage of a weakness and used it against him. A small part of me felt empathy for him, but I couldn’t help but think of how he must’ve hurt Eva. As I glared up at him, he cocked his head to the side, “I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m a pretty big fan because of what you did on Midgard-you know, attempting to kill everyone who wouldn’t blindly follow your rule. I have to say that it was a bold move for the unloved son of a false king,” he barked before taking a deep breath and calming his nerves, “I’m Ezra Culson, the new bane of Eva’s existence. You’ve been replaced.”

“What did you do to her?” I yelled, anxious to know what had transpired to bring about a pain like this. Before Ezra pointed out the wound on her abdomen, it was barely noticeable, especially since she showed little signs of discomfort while she was in the dungeons. Still, shortly before she came down to the dungeons, I had felt the intense pain, and I knew she had been stabbed. This sensation, however, was so different than before. When we were on Midgard, I...she had been stabbed. That was nothing like this. I grunted as I stood up straight, trying to ignore the burning sensation.

Ezra shook his head, a hint of guilt in his eyes that didn’t seem completely genuine, “I didn’t come here to fight-not today, anyway-but when Odin refused to my terms and your brother refused my offer to take Eva off your hands, I had no choice. She got in the way,” he said, nonchalantly as he shrugged it off like it was nothing. Even the guards outside of his cell were disturbed. Everyone in Asgard knew Eva, and everyone knew that she was the embodiment of all that was good and light in this world. Ezra acted as if his action of attacking her was nothing serious, like attacking her wasn’t like he was attacking the very fabric of life itself. During my stunned silence, he continued to speak, “let’s just say that you’re not the only one who has it out for Odin.”

“I couldn’t care less about him. You hurt her!” I snapped, slamming my fist against the cell wall and startling the guards and the other prisoners within the dungeons. Ezra would have a hard time in the dungeons because no matter how much the other prisoners hated Odin and Asgard, they could not bring themselves to even speak unkindly of Eva. The longer the prisoners stayed in the dungeons, the more they grew accustomed to her singing, and because Eva showed the planet so much love and kindness, everyone who resided here could feel her energy coursing through them. Her connection to the world and life was incredible. As my chest tightened, I glared at him, “you hurt her, and I’m going to kill you for that,” I growled in a low voice.

He shrugged it off again, “collateral damage,” he remarked, “it’s nothing that can’t be undone. When she gives in and leaves with me, which she will, I’ll heal her, and we’ll be on our way.”

“She’s not going anywhere with you!” I yelled once more, realizing that he was doing exactly what he wanted to do, and I was allowing it to happen. He was crawling right under my skin, and I couldn’t stop it. It was like Thanos all over again. Ezra just knew my weakness, and he was going to exploit it. He would try to break me, but I wouldn’t lose Eva again, and that was what kept me from falling back into the comfort of my own darkness.

He chuckled, “I have a better claim to her even as an outsider, or did you forget?” he asked, and my eyes widened as it felt like my chest would completely cave in. He couldn’t have been referencing that moment, but it wouldn’t surprise me with all that he knew about Eva and myself. A part of me wished to know where he acquired this information, but the part that took hold of me in that moment was still the nervous and insecure man I was before I fell from the Bifrost, before I pushed Eva out of my life, before I realized that I would never truly be my father’s son. I could still remember Odin’s words as if our conversation was happening that very moment:

“A girl who could pass as a princess even without a prince would be better suited for Thor, and I will not entertain these childish games any longer!”

It was the first moment in my life that I felt utterly hopeless. All that I had done up until that moment seemed like it was in vain. I had loved Eva, and she loved me. When she forced me to relive that memory in the dream, I couldn’t help but associate it with the conversation that followed with my father. He had been the one to pull me from our beautiful moment, our last beautiful moment. Our conversation was meant to open the doors for millions of other beautiful moments, but he slammed those doors in my face, telling me that I would never be worthy enough for Eva, that she was being saved for Thor. It was the beginning of my downfall, and she was the one who was hurt most from it.

While my chest heaved, I imagined ripping his tongue from his throat. I imagined slitting his throat open while he spoke of how Eva was nothing more than “collateral damage.” I imagined his blood on my hands as I tore him apart for what he did to her and for what he tried to do to me. I knew that all he had to do was exploit my weakness, and he would be able to turn me against her. Something in me was broken, and he wanted to toy around with it, “speak one more word, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to you,” I threatened, narrowing my eyes at him and realizing just how familiar they looked, like I had seen them a thousand times before. Green...like the color of spring.

He chuckled, sitting on the floor and tucking his legs under himself. It seemed as if he would let my comment roll off his back, but that was the opposite of what he did. Instead, he brought up the one thing I cared about more than anything else. Eva. He grinned, madness in his eyes, “threaten me again, and you’ll wish for death when you see what I do to her.”

Without warning, my mind felt like it was being torn apart, like the broken edges were being chipped away at. As I fell to the floor in a massive pain radiating from the ghost wound on my abdomen and the sudden and intense pain in my own mind, I gritted my teeth and groaned loudly. I could remember her eyes that day, the day I hurt her more than I could ever forgive myself for. I had expected her to look at me like I was a monster, like I was her enemy. However, she didn’t. She spoke my name with fear in her eyes and sorrow in her voice. It was my first moment of clarity in so long, but it was also my greatest moment of weakness and tragedy because I hurt the one thing I wished to protect: my friend, my princess, my love.

My Eva.

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sighingtirf · 6 years

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Just saw a conversation between a couple people about how they’d love to see a Hunger Games type of thing, but with “TERFs” as the contestants, and sending mutated dogs in after us and essentially just torturing us for fun and entertainment

And one of them said that we’d definitely be killing each other out of our own free will, because “knowing them they would kill each other and then their own allys because they dont agree a 100%"

And holy shit, the projection

Radical feminists consistently disagree with each other, and while there are certainly some groups (who are loud but make up the minority) who go around bullying people and harassing those who disagree with them, there’s such a bigger difference in opinion here, and (for the most part; albeit there are some topics “rudefems” tend to get vicious about and target people for) I feel safer expressing my varying views and opinions than I ever did while I was with the genderist crew. And unlike in genderist circles, if there’s people being nasty and awful because of a difference in opinion, there are other women who stand up for the person being harassed. Even if they truly disagree, there’s tons of posts calling out that kind of behavior during disagreements.

Meanwhile, among genderists, you make a casual post with one wrong word and immediately get 50 hateful anons. There’s constantly call-outs for people who use terms slightly differently. You’re constantly guilt-tripped and threatened to the point where you’re scared to even follow someone who has a slightly different viewpoint than you. You have to re-read a post that you made about your own personal experiences 95372984 times before posting it to make sure it, at the very least, has perfect wording and caters a million times over to apologize for the fact that your personal experiences aren’t perfectly in line with their thought experiments. You’re under immediate suspicion if you so much as reblog from someone who has been deemed problematic (for anything ranging from “I don’t think aces are inherently a part of the lesbian-gay-bi-transgender community” to “gender doesn’t exist”).

You say “femme and butch are lesbian-specific terms with meanings that are rooted in the lesbian experience and culture” and get hundreds of people insulting you, threatening you, sexually harassing you, calling you “TERF”, messaging you to threaten you, kicking you and anyone who so much as considered what you had to say out of the group, stalking you on your post talking about abuse you faced so they can call you abusive (for saying please don’t use femme and butch outside of lesbian contexts) and demanding an apology and threatening to kick you out of the autistic trauma survivor support group if you don’t apologize.

Old ladies who haven’t even heard the term “transgender” can go to a trans activist event, ask someone at the back of the crowd if they’re cross-dressers because she genuinely doesn’t know and is asking to learn more, and the entire crowd will start chanting “SHAME” in her face until she walks away.

Open a feminist bookstore that has a few books written by radical feminists? Trans activists attend the grand opening to barricade the entrance and threaten anyone who tries entering, run around pouring wine on the bookshelves, trip the fire alarm, and scream at the women who poured their time and energy and money into creating the store.

Exist as an old woman and ask the question “who’s attacking?” in response to a “TERFS ATTACK, WE FIGHT BACK” and try to do your job and take photos of the event you came to take photos of? Trans activists beat you up and then blame you for it, saying you “deserved” it, “it’s your fault”, “you asked for it”.

Buy a billboard and put a dictionary definition on it? Get doxxed.

Be a lesbian of mixed race, and work hard to direct a movie about a trans boy, and commit two crimes while making it: 1.) cast a cis girl to act as the trans boy, and 2.) include the phrase “I feel like a boy trapped in a girl’s body”? Trans activists put a sign at her podium reading “fuck this cis white bitch”, scream over her whenever she tries to speak at her event, shout “fuck you scared bitch” at her.

Silently exist as a biologically female person who is homosexual (aka, exclusively attracted to other biologically female people), or turn down a trans woman, or--god forbid--say the words “lesbians don’t like dick”? Lots of rape jokes. Normalized and celebrated rape fantasies. Gaslighting. Conversion tactics. Threatening people who so much as ask for communication before-hand as to “are you cis or trans” or state “I’m not interested in dating trans people”. Sexually traumatizing and abusing lesbians directly. Joking about how gang rape should be punishment. Talking about how “cool” it would be if trans women were filmed raping these women as a threat to other lesbians and showing how “lesbians secretly want it”. Turn around and scream at traumatized lesbians that “nobody says that / does that”, then go back to ignoring the problem and brushing this violence under the rug and minimizing the problem and agreeing with the perpetrators if ever forced to confront an incident.

A survivor of severe abuse can speak out and take a stand against her incredibly powerful and widely supported abusers, do an incredible amount to help other victims of sexual abuse, be open and vulnerable about her trauma to a world that hates her for existing and hates her even more for speaking out, but when she rightfully snaps at and yells back at a pedophile who came to scream at her at her own event, generists hate her. Didn’t matter how validating she was, the only thing she would have been allowed to do was sit there and take it and apologize profusely for somehow “not doing enough”. Her events were cancelled, people all over genderists circles were yelling about how awful she is and how much they hate her and how she deserves the worst of fates, comments are made about how they “hope she gets stabbed in her vagina”, etc. etc. etc.

I can go on and on and on.

Trans activism is a fucking cult where you’re under threat even if you nod and agree and conform as quickly as possible, while radical feminists consistently disagree and call out each other out if someone tries to settle debates with bullying and harassment.

Maybe they somehow think that disagreement is an issue that should result in violence? If someone thinks that, doesn’t that kind of...make their statement about themselves?

#trans movement #trixy talks

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columbo-of-narnia · 2 years

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I posted 3,949 times in 2021

67 posts created (2%)

3882 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 57.9 posts.

I added 349 tags in 2021

#joshua bassett - 85 posts

#ricky bowen - 54 posts

#hsmtmts - 54 posts

#when will my husband return from the war - 50 posts

#high school musical the series - 47 posts

#joshua bassett defence squad - 16 posts

#i love him so much - 15 posts

#olivia rodrigo - 12 posts

#wandavision - 8 posts

#wandavison spoilers - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 57 characters

#after everything he deserves all the smooches and cuddles

My Top Posts in 2021

So this post is just going to be me sucking Joshua Bassetts lyrical cock because holy moly guys. I waited two days for this so i could listen to the songs enough and just be washed away by this man's musical prowess.

All his songs including his self titled EP have been lyrical masterpieces. Every word is chosen on purpose and every line is written in a way that had an impact. They make you feels things that had they been worded any other way, or written by anyone else, would have lost their meaning and impact. Set me free gives you the sense of something being let go, of being set free because of the words and the raw emotion that Joshua put into the song

Crisis, Secret, and Set me free are no exception. Each one of them is beautifully written and tell a story that josh has been dying to tell for months it seems.

Here are just a few lines from the songs that i fell in love with.

Crisis: "Dont you ever wonder if im okay after all you put me through" "messing with my life is a career move" "i cant help but wonder why you won't make it end" "my momma called cause she heard i had death threats" "but you sensationalized, keep fanning the fires for the headlines"

Secret: "swore that you only had a crush, told me that you would cut him off" "but i defended you still cause i knew rumors could kill" "your secrets safe with me, and him and all of our friends you told, you don't even know i know" "your smoke and mirrors had me hypnotized" "when woe is me stops working, i bet your songs won't sound the same" "you can't hide behind what's clear as day"

Set me free: and basically this entire fucking song but some examples "i don't wanna be rude or on the defensive but I've been going through it too" "and nothing i say can say will ease the pain, but why do i hurt for you to feel okay" "you don't get to take all of me" "i don't recognize you, not anymore. Your not the love that i fell for" "I've been running away ive been facing my fears" "wasn't sure I'd survive, never felt so weak" "i hope you know that i still care about you darlin" "i won't ever let you hurt me how you hurt me again, ever again" "i don't need your apology, let me be" "you don't get to take all of me, set me free"

In short Joshua Bassett is a fucking lyrical master and on a different level than any of his peers. thanks for coming to my ted talk.

54 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 16:58:12 GMT

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69 notes • Posted 2021-10-18 18:01:57 GMT

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82 notes • Posted 2021-11-30 00:46:28 GMT

Joshua's new songs tell a story of a guy who has been harrassed and bullied because obsessive stan only got half the story. He went through so much and was silent and graceful through it all. Crisis, Secret, and Set Me Free are all so powerful.

The song that i love the absolute most is set me free because of the message it sends. That he wont let her hurt him anymore and he is taking himself back.

The three songs take the narrative that have been shoved down our throats since DL was released and flips it because we finally have the other side and quiet frankly i think these three songs reveal more about the situation than everything. Not to mention Joshua seems more genuine about the entire thing. these three songs have more emotion and soul than DL ever did IMO.

Forgive me if this post is scattered i have alot of emotions and thoughts right now

144 notes • Posted 2021-12-03 06:21:50 GMT

I just wanna say that if you joke or trivializes Josh's Sexual assault statement. You are a horrible person. It takes so much courage to come out and say it (especially with how josh was raised), and whether josh sees your belittlemnet or disbelief dosent matter because other sexual assault survivors will and know they can't trust you. Survivors of sexual assault deserve to be heard and believed, no matter if you like them or not.

181 notes • Posted 2021-12-03 17:29:59 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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wordsablaze · 6 years

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Chapter Seventeen: Trust

Cinder’s life revolved around the garage, working as a mechanic, until that one male student came in looking for a Mercedes and changed her life… AU AH Kaider story. Enjoy!

A/N: Want a fic? I posted this elsewhere 3 months ago and only just found out as i was posting another chapter, ahh, sorry!! Not that anyone cares but still. Also, this was a right pain to format on mobile, ugh.

Cinder's heart falters as she watches Kai literally stumble away from their conversation.

She can't think after he leaves, she can't get the image of his contained tears out of her mind, she can't focus on anything other than what could have happened. She doesn't even trust herself to try and come up with a plan for the rest of the day.

"Cinder?" Iko asks tentatively, clearly sensing that something is wrong.

"Hey, Iko," Cinder replies, sighing.

Iko raises an eyebrow and places her hands on her hips. "Alright, spill. What happened with Mr Sexy Barista?"

Cinder cracks a small smile at the title but then shakes her head again. "It's nothing."

"If that were true, you wouldn't still be polishing that wrench ten minutes later."

She blushes, caught oil-handed, and places said wrench on the table, sighing as she turns to Iko with a grateful look. "He left."

"He broke up with you?" Iko asks, her voice neutral but her eyes threatening to explode with rage.

Quickly, Cinder shakes her head. "No!"

Iko's relief is honestly almost as intense as Cinder's curiosity. By the time Cinder's thrown out some explanatory words and Iko has understood the situation, the two of them are equally as confused about and worried for Kai.

Cinder stays silent as Iko paces and mutters things to herself because, while she can usually work out people's motives and judge their character, she's absolutely rubbish at figuring out emotions and feelings, especially when it's someone she actually likes, even more so when it's someone she truly cares about.

"If I had to guess," Iko says eventually, "I'd say it wasn't anything you did directly."

"Iko, there was nobody else here, who else could it have been?"

"No, I mean, you probably just reminded him of something else. If it was you, he wouldn't have made an effort to be polite before leaving, would he?"

"I don't know; people are confusing."

Iko snorts in amusement but recovers quickly, clearing her throat. "Look, he'll come back. Just wait for him."

Cinder bites her lip but she knows Iko is intelligent and can be trusted when it comes to boys so she nods and exhales. Well, she nods, exhales and stops whatever she's trying to achieve by passive-aggressively cleaning random tools. Iko finds someone to cover for her and she trudges back to the place she wishes she didn't have to call home. Luckily, Adri has no chores for her yet so she can go back to her room, almost missing the fact that her laptop is back on her bed.

"What?" she asks the air, then scrambles to plug the laptop in and switch it on.

As soon as the home screen fades into view, she opens tumblr, needing to message Kai, needing to ask him if he's okay. The ten seconds it takes for the website to load could be ten years for how slow they seem to go by but it matters not because then she's logged in and finding Kai's blog like it's a second nature to her.

-kai?

-are you okay?

And then, after a moment's hesitation...

-did i do something wrong?

Not surprisingly, she doesn't immediately get a reply back.

It takes over an hour for a reply to come through, during which Cinder aimlessly rearranges her room and makes sure everything is organised enough to satisfy even the pickiest of the organised. She jumps when she sees the little light flashing even though she'd been expecting it to happen.

-My apologies for leaving so abruptly.

-I needed to clear my head.

-You did nothing wrong, don't worry, princess!

-are u sure?

-Of course.

-im almost sure ur just saying that to make me feel better

-What a ridiculous suggestion...

-it's ok, you don't have to tell me anything

-just...

-i'm sorry, ok?

-A comma? You must be sincere.

-Thank you.

-shut up

-Make me!

Cinder blinks. She's only ever seen couples say that to each other, and it's usually just before they kiss or something. She doesn't know what she's meant to say to that, whether she's expected to do something romantic in return, and she's about to panic when Kai saves her.

-Did I do it right?

-I've seen people say that and I figured it was a more interesting response than a simple denial.

-My apologies if I did it wrong.

-u scared me

-I scared you?

-i dont know why i told you that. nvm

-If it's any help, you don't need to make me shut up. I'm not even talking...

-oh, bc ur typing?

-very original

-It worked, didnt it?

-depends

-You stopped being scared, right?

She laughs. He's right, it did work. She replaced her anxiety with exasperation and it worked. If it was anyone else, she'd probably be annoyed at them having figured her out so quickly. For some reason or the other, she finds herself being amused at Kai instead of irked, and she appreciates him instead of being irritated with him. She makes a mental note to ask Iko about that tomorrow before shifting her attention back to Kai's message.

-you wish

-Goodnight, Princess.

-And thank you.

-For understanding.

-are u okay? ur using three messages for one sentence

-I'm slightly in a rush...

-so ur solution is to send more messages?

-No, my solution is to send fragments.

-So that I don't leave you with awkward silence.

-I really have to go.

-Can't wait to check up on the car!

-me too

-okay i guess ur gone

-bye

Cinder's mind immediately tells her that saying 'me too' was a bad idea but she ignores it, instead focusing on her relief that Kai is okay.

She shuts the computer down so no battery is wasted and flops down onto her bed, sighing happily. She's done a lot of happy sighing lately, mostly because of Kai and his adorable eccentricities, but she won't complain because she likes the rush of warmth in her heart every time she sees his smile, the comfort she finds in his eyes, the sparks she feels every time they're close to one another.

With a start, she realises she might have found someone to trust. Trust doesn't come easily to her but, with Kai, she's all but ready to give him everything. And it scares her. Cinder's trust is the key to a friendship with her but it's also a weapon that she's giving away, making herself vulnerable. As her eyes become heavy and start to close, she just hopes that trusting Kai won't be a mistake. She hopes it's worth it in the end and, frankly, she'd never hoped for anything more.

like/reblog but don't repost, thanks!

#the lunar chronicles #tlc #emperor kai #linh cinder #iko #kaider #kai #cinder #selene blackburn #fanfcition #fanfic #Marissa Meyer #fluff #angst #romance #friendship #My writing #aboac

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witchyinthekitchen · 6 years

Text

This is a Vent Post about my Mother, Please do not reblog

This post is probably gunna be all over the place/time with things that I can remember/recall so bear with me here.

-Being told to make my own food bc mom was too busy with brand new baby (I was between 5-6 so poptarts were about all i could manage. I'd asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.) (my brother was a VERY finniky baby. If you weren't holding him he'd scream till his face went purple.))

-Tried to share interests in Anime/manga with her, when I asked her what she felt about it she said she couldn’t get into it and that it felt like a chore. (13-15 ish)

-Told her I needed therapy bc I was having suicidal thoughts. She took me, but then took me out once I started getting upset about the things i’d been talking about in therapy with my therapist because I'd come home in a bad mood.(15-16 ish)

-Went to Mother Daughter Group Therapy with her (there were other mother daughter combos) and she stormed out in the middle of it saying that we were only attacking her and not my dad too. (was 15-16 ish)

-Got into an argument about who i was voting for in the 2016 election while on vacation at Disney World (Hint it wasn't Trump like she wanted)(24 ish)

-Tried to gaslight me about trying to get everyone together to talk wedding stuff saying how she tried but that it all fell apart. (I have texts of her canceling it the day before we were all supposed to get together.)(26)

-Gets super defensive/upset any time I talk about “other mothers” in my life (MIL, BM)

-Has been super hot and cold with me during wedding planning and making passive aggressive comments about everything: Tell him to buy new pants for the engagement shoot 'bc I dont want him wearing baggy clothes -SO's Lost over 20lbs+ for the wedding and i'm so fuckin proud of him- “I don’t want to pay for hard alcohol for SO and his friends to drink at the wedding.” As if ½ the people invited weren’t all just her friends? ((All our friends live out of state/country so half the wedding is family and HER friends/neighbors.)) "I’m sure H*(SIL) and K*(MIL) have good counsel for you on _____," (Why would you say this when i'm asking for YOUR opinion? If i wanted their opinion i'd ask them.)

-4 months before the wedding she’s trying to talk me out of my venue saying we need to go look at the ones SO and MIL had suggested.

-Wants me to keep (BM)'s relation to me a secret even though i’m pretty sure 85% of the people who know me and are coming to my wedding know i'm adopted.

-Angry that I was moving out of the house at 21 with my SO she told his mother she hoped we’d fail. (In her defense she'd just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I'd done poorly in my last semester of college so parents thought it would be a good idea to take me out of college for a semester so i could live at home and basically be at my moms beck and call while also being expected to work 2 jobs (they'd told me the instant that the semester was over that i was expected to work 2 jobs) -That's at least how I was viewing that whole situation before I moved out- )

-As a kid I remember wanting to run away a lot. (Never away to a friends house but always to a park to live under a bridge like the goblin I am (lol)) (is it obvious I use self depreciating humor to get through things that I'm uncomfortable with? haha)

-I'd always hide things from her, even small things like a puzzle book i'd bought myself from the elementary school book fairs. i even began writing my diaries in code so she couldn't read them. Not that i ever caught her reading my diaries or what not but thats how afraid i was.

-The only things that stopped me from killing myself was the distressing thought that my mother would be more upset with blood on the floor than me being gone. (It was a constant worry of mine when I was having ideations.)

-When i was getting close to graduating high school the librarians told me they had a bunch of excess old books they were getting rid of and one of them happened to be the "Toxic Parents" book i've seen several other posts refer to. I took no other books besides that one. I hid that from her too. Looking back through it i remember there was a checklist in the book and i'd filled some of it out when i was younger. I most definitely am a people pleaser.

-We've never really been able to "talk" about things together like how my dad and i do and i think she's really jealous about it.

-The only way I feel comfortable talking to her is Via Email/Text because then that way i have a copy of all the things she's said. because i often forget things. (I honestly don't know how bad my memory is or if its gaslighting but i hope its just me being forgetful and not the latter...)

-I literally cannot let my SO do the dishes because my Mom would always do the dishes/clean when she was mad and bang pots around loudly and just even those sounds set me on edge.

-Her telling me that the careers i wanted to get into (IE: the Arts/Theater/Music) wouldn't make enough money and that they'd be fine as Hobbies but not as careers.

-She's continually trying to push me into a Customer Service Job because i'm so good at making other people happy. (talked to dad about this and he says i'm a very big people pleaser who doesn't like conflicts -cue nervous laughter about wedding planning-)

-Being around her for long periods of time is so physically/emotionally draining. I know that's probably a result of always being on edge with her and I always feel bad that I feel that way.

-Because she's said she hoped I'd fail (me and my So when I first moved out) I'm terrified of telling her anything personal going on in my life for fear that she'd take it out on me or use it against me (i got super anxious/scared when she came up to see me on my end of town once because we'd be stopping at the mall where i used to work and i hadn't yet told her that I'd quit that job.)

-I want to have a relationship with her. I want us to do fun Mom& Daughter things but at the same time I'm scared of letting her get too close to me again just to have it fall apart again.

-When I moved out (21) i went VLC with my whole family before i even knew what VLC was. I barely saw them (except for certain holidays/events.) I didn't talk to my dad for about 3 years because of this and am just now recovering that relationship with him (been 5 years now since I moved out)

-After I get married my plan is to move to CO. During that time i don't remember if my mom has mentioned if she'd miss me, but i do recall she has made multiple points to tell me that my dad says he would miss me.

-I had to beg for a 16th Birthday Party. She finally caved half a year later after I'd talked to my Therapist about it.

-pretty sure i'm the SG of the family (possibly Cousin 1 being the GC because she went to same University my mom did)

-Other family members on her side have stepped in to provide financial help to me on the promise that i wouldn't tell anyone. (probably to stop any gossip of favoritism)

I Don't know if she's an N or just really bad at expressing herself but her hot and cold attitude really sets off my anxiety that i've done something to piss her off and that she won't talk to me about it for a few weeks and then acts as though nothing is wrong/nothing happened. Planning my wedding is the MOST contact we've had in 5 years since i moved out and went VLC and i've been trying to use this as a way to bond with her better but anytime i think i'm getting somewhere Something happens and she's upset again. A phrase i've found myself come into saying recently is "I can't fix something that I don't know is wrong." So i've tried to take that approach when it comes to her. I know she's an adult and can choose for herself if she wants to talk about whats on her mind. I can't force her to talk if she doesn't want to but the anxiety it causes when she gets into these moods is really debilitating. I'm terrible at letting things go (especially if i think its my fault)

I'm Not Her Therapist, but if she has an issue with me I wish she'd just tell me instead of the Silent treatment for a week.

Trigger Topics that I've learned to Avoid at All Costs:

Anything about "Other Mothers" in my life.

Politics & Racism

Anything in the Past that happened.

My moving out

Anything that paints her as a "Bad Mother"(aka this whole post probably)

This post is a mess and I'm rambling. Thanks for sticking through this Brain Dump while I process.

-Edit 2:

More things i'm recalling: For Christmas one year in front of my whole family (I was between 8-10 ish) she got me a set of underwear with the days of the week labeled on them and told me in front of everyone that "Maybe this would help me remember [to change my underwear daily]..."

One of my final years in high school I somehow managed to get a Cold Sore. My First Cold Sore ever and my lip where it broke out swelled up HUGE. I woke up the day it appeared ( a weekend thank the gods) and horrified went downstairs to tell my mom about it. I don't recall any words of sympathy other than "Cold Sores are caused by Herpes." I just remember breaking down into tears.

I mapped out a "Quiet Walking Path" that avoided all the creaky floorboards and steps in our house.

I get extremely anxious whenever I would hear my parents footsteps coming up the stairs. It got to the point that I could distinguish their steps on Carpet.

I jump/flinch (visibly) at loud noises, even if I know they are coming (movies songs ect.)

Routinely friended/unfriended me on Facebook before deleting it entirely (due to 2018 spying/hacking allegations)

I don't know if she means for these things to be hurtful but as someone who doesn't enjoy confrontation and is extremely sensitive to others feelings it just hurts y'know?

-edit 3: Attempted to talk to mom about her saying she hoped we'd fail via email. went about as well as expected. =Well, that clears a lot of things up. We only wanted you to be independent and happy, and it appears you are. End of story!

And for what it’s worth, I’ve said a LOT of things over the past 6 years that you didn’t hear about. And I’m not really sure where you heard “I hope they fail.” But I’m sure your source is 100%, and certainly not something you’d want to clarify with me.

I hope you got your apartment all squared away in Colorado. You should be under the 60-day notice by now! Woo hoo!

Let me know when you all are coming to get your stuff out of the house.

I’ll have it packed and ready for you.

-Mom

Am i reading into this too much? because it sounds like she's being hella passive aggressive about this.

-Edit 4: 7-19-18 Been venting about wedding planning being stressful on fb away from my mom since she doesn't have one anymore. I didn't realize she had fms reporting to her about my posts as she just randomly mentions via text that she wants to help me have fun while planning and that she wishes she could make it a happy time for me.

Edit 5: 9-26-18 Wedding is over finally. had our honeymoon and got moved out of our apartment back into my MIL's house. During the move we had to put all of our stuff into storage which includes Wedding gifts and thankyou notes. So Mom has been hounding me about getting them done and i've informed her several times that all of that is in storage and i havent been able to yet. She said not an excuse go buy more thankyou notes and write them all. I asked if Emailing a thank you would work, she says no must be hand written and mailed out (also who's paying for 100+ stamps: Me) Well Tonight she informs me that she's doing all the ones from her/my side and that she doesn't care if we do them for DH's side since SIL didn't send any thank you notes either. Cue big long talk with DH about all of this and he says not to worry about her being passive aggressive like this. Go and check my Email to find she sent an Email to me only with writing saying

"Dear all,

Thank you so much for attending --- wedding. Your presence was so important to me, and I know to the kids as well. Thank you also for the lovely wedding gifts you sent or brought. I know they are appreciated and will be enjoyed by the newlyweds. It was very kind and generous of you!

Unfortunately, --- is unable to send thank you notes, but I did want you to know that your gifts, and your presence at the celebration, were very important to all of us, and very much appreciated.

Fondly,

MOM"

currently I'm choosing not to respond and I wonder how our relationship is going to be going forward from all of this... I was so happy that the wedding was over so i wouldn't have to deal with this petty drama bullshit anymore but I guess thats just too much to ask for.

-She's also unfriended me on facebook again. I'm tempted to just block her to stop this wishy washy stuff from happening again.

#Personal #DO NOT REBLOG #I will block you if you reblog this #Vent for myself #i don't know what to do anymore #Mom #Mom Vent #i hope i dont have to update this anymore #but we'll see #venting post #PERSONAL VENT #PARENTS #Emotional Abuse #Mental Abuse

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archmage--khadgar · 6 years

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RIP? (I dont know if i want this, but lets see how dramatic is going to be)

(*SIPS TEA* Very drafty, as always. I pretty much do the first draft and post ‘em up. Like all the writing draft prompts that aren’t starters, it is 100% okay to reblog them for other to read! Enjoy!)The rest of the council stood in patient irritation silently as they waited for Khadgar to show up. He was late, very late, but despite their annoyance, they all hoped that it was from getting lost in research and not because…They quickly pushed such thoughts out of their heads.A portal opened nearby and an exhausted-looking Khadgar stumbled out of it. A collective sigh of relief was heard from the others before they began to scold him for his tardiness. Khadgar grinned sheepishly as he apologized.“Forgive me! Business in Karazhan. I hadn’t expected it to keep me for so long.”“Again? Khadgar, why do you keep going back there? Its wealth of knowledge is vast, yes. But there are plenty of champions in training that could easily -”“No, no. Best I do it whenever I can. No one knows that place better than I. No use in risking others.”Kalec and Modera exchanged glances and then shrugs before going into Council business.

Khadgar restlessly wandered around the room, muttering comments to himself as the other members spoke. Every so often he’d engage but was largely ignoring the meeting. Kalec’s ears perked up a little when Khadgar went by him - demonic. Khadgar was muttering things in demonic. Flecks of blue scales shimmered onto Kalec’s skin and he quickly turned towards the Archmage.“Khadgar, what are you DOING?” He couldn’t shift fully since he wouldn’t fit, but he was willing to take the fight outside if need be. Modera and the others looked over in confusion. Kalec wasted no time in alerting them to what Khadgar had been muttering.Was it a joke? Had he finally gone mad? All they saw was an inhuman grin, and all they heard was a few utterings in demonic before everything….The chaos went by so quickly, and yet, felt like an eternity. Most of the tower was damaged or destroyed by the explosion, but some quick spell work saved most of the people inside. The council, at least, was safe. When the dust settled each member looked at the others to see who had been quick with their fingers. Much to their surprise, none of them had cast the barrier that protected them all - including Khadgar from the blast. It didn’t take long to figure out who did once they realized it wasn’t one of them. And HIS presence was more of a surprise than Khadgar’s apparent betrayal.Lips pursed together to try and hide a smile and standing in between Khadgar and the Council, was Medivh. He wagged his finger back and forth at his “apprentice” disapprovingly. “Tsk. Sloppy work. You should have paid more attention to your surroundings.”Khadgar snorted. “It didn’t matter who was here as long as the council -”“I wasn’t talking to you.” Medivh glanced back at the four Archmages with a disappointed frown. “Please. I know my young trust is eccentric, but when was the last time you ever saw him act as such?” Modera flinched, scolding herself for not speaking up sooner when she had noticed. Kalec looked a bit uncomfortable as well, he should have detected the foul magic sooner. Medivh brushed the front of his robes and turned his attention back to Khadgar.“Now. I’ve dealt with your aftermath a few times, and quite frankly. I am tired of you after this. I am insulted that you would take the appearance of an old friend and student, and sully the good image he tries so hard to maintain. Come, come now. Drop the disguise, you may not have killed anyone but you did manage to sneak in. Surely you feel the need to brag?”Kalec swore under his breath as a Dreadlord appeared in Khadgar’s place. At least it hadn’t had copied Jaina. The Demon opened his mouth to, indeed, brag about how easy it is to infiltrate Dalaran despite all the mages, but was cut off mid-sentence by the very, very angry former Guardian. It let out a howl as it was destroyed and had its soul sent back to the Twisting Nether. It would be back someday, but for now, it got to wallow in its failure. The Aspect studied Medivh for a moment, pulling his thoughts together.“How long has Khadgar -”“Oh, just today. Don’t worry. I can assure you that every other day was indeed, my old apprentice.”“Where’s Khadgar?” Modera asked worriedly. Then she noticed it.Atiesh.Medivh had Atiesh.The Dreadlord’s staff had clearly been part of the illusion, but it was clear as day that what Medivh had was the real one. Voice shaking, she asked again as the others finally noticed as well, and looked on in horror, terrified of his answer.“Medivh….where is Khadgar.”

Earlier that day, Medivh had sensed trouble back in the halls of Karazhan. He didn’t want to return, figuring Khadgar would sense the same trouble and investigate himself. But when the feeling didn’t abate, curiosity got the better of him and he made the trip back to his old home. Upon returning, he sensed the presence of his old apprentice and contemplated leaving. But something was wrong, the aura was weak and there was the unmistakable signature of fel in the air. Not that, Karazhan wasn’t already crackling with various energies, but this was different. It was fresh. The Magus quickly investigated the rooms in halls in a silent panic, his main focus was to find Khadgar. And his heart broke when he did.Slumped up against a bookcase with a demonic blade through his chest and pinning him there, was Khadgar. Still alive, but barely. The fel corruption had ashened his complexion and was eating away at him. Atiesh was laying on the floor out of reach, and there was blood on the blade and his hands from his failed attempts to pull it out. Medivh quickly went to Khadgar’s side, who perked up at seeing his old Master.“Ah. I -told- you there was a demon in the Library.” Khadgar gently teased.Medivh couldn’t help but smile at the jab, remembering a moment many years ago when he ignored Khadgar’s insistence that he and Garona had dealt with such a beast. “So there was young trust. So there was. You still need to clean up the mess you made, however.” There was a brief moment of silence before either of them spoke again.“I’m sorry, Khadgar. I should have come sooner. The corruption has spread too much, there is nothing -”“I know. I know. I already tried everything I knew. It’s okay. To be honest. I could use the rest! There are new heroes on Azeroth now. Many don’t even know who I am aside from being that Archmage that asks for ridiculous amounts of items who also likes to party.”Another moment of silence.“I should….I will bring you to Dalaran while you still breathe. You should die at home, not here among cobwebs and dust.”“I am home.”“Dalaran is your home.”“Karazhan, is my home.” Khadgar insisted, giving his former master a stern, but soft expression. Holding in his emotions best he could, Medivh nodded, attempting to make Khadgar as comfortable as he possibly could. “Then welcome home, Young Trust. Welcome home.” He brushed some debris out of Khadgar’s hair with his hand.“You’ll need to come up with a new introduction,” Moroes spoke up from the shadows. “If you’re not Khadgar from Dalaran.”Khadgar gave a pained laugh but nodded in agreement.“Khadgar, of Karazhan, the Young Trust, of Karazhan.” It was hard not to laugh.It was harder to hear his laughter stop.Modera waited patiently to hear Medivh’s answer. But his silence hurt the longer it lasted.Until eventually, there was no question.The realization hit the Council hard, with only four members it would be difficult to perform many of the tasks required of them. And of course, it was a huge loss to the effort against the legion and the loss of a friend. They wanted to know how, when, and where was his body? There was little surprise when Medivh relayed Khadgar’s wish to die in Karazhan and not there, in Dalaran. After taking a brief moment to collect themselves, the Council quickly set out to alert the appropriate individuals. A proper, public mass service could be held after the war was over, but for now, anyone close to the Archmage who wish to pay their respects would be given the option. They had decided to bury him on the grounds of Karazhan as well, feeling that that was the most appropriate. There wasn’t much to say, not from the lack of words but because no one could bring themselves to speak. One by one, Khadgar’s closest friends left the fresh grave to return to their duties until Medivh was the last one. Gripping Atiesh tightly, he knew he had to make a choice. The absence of Khadgar in this effort would be noticed, and a devastating strike to moral. He could easily leave again, be he was also the only one who could replace Khadgar in terms of skill, power, and knowledge. He would give staying some thought, retiring inside to contemplate a formal return. Medivh entered the messy library lost in thought and was caught off guard by the specter he saw pulling a book off the shelf.It was Khadgar. Unmistakably Khadgar, Medivh had had his concerns that dying here would damn Khadgar’s spirit to wander these halls like so many others, but he quickly found peace when he further observed the ghost.There was no curse. Khadgar was young, unburdened by the visage of an old man that he had acquired upon freeing his master from the clutches of Sargeras. The only white in his hair was the skunk stripe that his former apprentice already had had upon his arrival to Karazhan as a boy. Death, ironically, had restored his youth and retained his curiosity and thirst for knowledge. He seemed unaware of Medivh, reading a book eagerly on draconic. However, after a moment the eager boy turned and smiled up at his master.“Mag-…Medivh! This book is fascinating! Can you teach me how to say these words properly? If I ever meet a dragon, I wish to impress them! And maybe also…to be able to read any scrolls they may produce on magic….” He held the book out with eager anticipation. And with a warm smile, Medivh took the book.“Of course, my boy. Whatever you wish to know. I will teach you. We have all the time in the world now. My sickness is gone, I am well again, my apprentice. Any book, anytime, any day. Just bring it to me and I will teach you.” He placed a hand gently on Khadgar’s spectral cheek and felt his fingers chill with the ethereal static. The image seemed blissfully unaware of the emotion in Medivh’s voice as the man stroked his cheek with his thumb. “I’m proud of you, Khadgar. I am so, so very proud of you.” Khadgar beamed, and a moment later, faded away. Medivh grabbed at the air, not wanting him to leave. That settled it. He would stay.His apprentice needed him.Medivh didn’t always see Khadgar. But he noticed that the library was tidier, that sometimes his lab equipment had been used or there were scrying materials set out. And every so often, a book would find its way onto Medivh’s desk. Which he would always promptly read out loud as if giving a lecture to a curious, invisible student. And he would always find lecture notes and questions on his table after he finished.

#RIP prompt #Khadgar #Medivh #Karazhahn #drabble draft #writing #World of Warcraft #I might have teared up a few times writing this fam #loremaster-milerna #safe to reblog

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