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#this is why ik you have a weird specific obsession with me. for some reason it HAD to be me who loved you. idk what it is maybe im just
snekdood · 5 months
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ik i said a week ago or somethin that "im sorry mj isnt non binary" but honestly thats not fully true. she is nb in her own ways- i just dont want ppl to take that and then modify her to be fully gnc and more masc than she is like someone i know has 😒
#im very sorry she is not like you.#i have plenty of other characters you can imprint on.#if you are not like her as she is and have to change her so much then you two are not the same. really fuckin simple dawg.#my ocs#heres an idea: you dont need to have a character thats just like you in every piece of media you consume. k? k.#and to be more direct to the person im vaguing about: no you actually dont have an excuse to steal my oc and take control of her#to modify her however you like. shes not yours and never will be. you can make up excuses if you want-#you can pretend i forced you to be like her if you want and just ignore all the times I went along with you in identifying as literally#any other oc mine or yours- just bc i dont wanna be with someone like who you *really* are doesnt mean im forcing you to be like her#yeah i have a preference for a type of person. no you did not fit into it whenever you revealed who you really were.#that doesnt mean im forcing you to do shit it means you lied about who you are and im not attracted to who you really are.#im not forcing shit at all like???????????????? im allowed to have preferences and types dawg.#its really not my fault that childhood abuse made you so codependent on me that me going 'yeah if you're not actually like this#then i dont want to date' made you freak out and then pretend you are like her more. i did not force you to do shit. literally nothing#about our situation would've changed except that i wasnt dating you. i have no idea why that was such a fucking big deal for you#dont you want someone who loves you for who you really are instead of pretending to be what people want?? so then why do you#CARE so much if i dont? it means im just another person you get to forget about and try to find someone new who WILL love that version of u#this is why ik you have a weird specific obsession with me. for some reason it HAD to be me who loved you. idk what it is maybe im just#so sexy and special or something but whatever it is you should be able to love yourself enough to know when to leave#and ya shoulda known that i was gonna dump you if only because you lied about who you were anyways. this is why ya gotta be#fully open and honest about who you are- something ik is very hard for you.#i just dont understand WHY it had to be me. the most i can assume is that i showed you a type of love you've never seen before#and raised your standards. which is a GOOD thing btw. you SHOULD have high enough standards for ppl to love you right.#instead of having all these. apathetic losers you hang out with around you.
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AOT characters and music they’d listen to:
feat. Levi, Mikasa, Eren, Jean, Erwin, Hange, Armin, Sasha, Connie
But it’s really specific and not at all based off of people i know 😀 (i never ever do this but it was a thought that wouldnt leave me alone).
Eren: 
i’m sorry am I supposed to believe this dumb mf doesn’t listen to only tiktok songs w/o any awareness of him doing it???? He’ll be like “hey have you heard this new song?” 😄😄and its just an edited version of a song made by the neighbourhood years ago 😕 PLSSS sir diversify your tastes!!! he obsessively listened to that “my money don’t jiggle jiggle” song unironically. Before tiktok, he would only listen to music on that Top50 spotify playlists and the only playlists he had saved outside of it was one mikasa made for him. 😐😐 Also he hasn’t listened to the sza album and thinks the big boys song is on it (keep up 😤😤😤)
Levi:
i was so close to just saying he doesn’t listen to anything “why do u need music when you can just appreciate the silence??” BECAUSE SIR music sounds GOOD!!! 🤨🤨this is why i’d think he’d listen to shit like Kaleo?!?!?! 😭😭😭 idek just something that litterally does not evoke a single emotion . its just like . there . He probably might listen to the lumineers on occasion (ik theyre really good don’t come at me🫣🫣) poor bb would probably like heavy metal if somebody ELSE played it for him (he would never admit to it tho) bc its something Kenny used to play when he was younger but never asked him what kind of music it was to search it up himself. 🥺🥺
Mikasa: 
my sweet girl. :( she is a fiend!! she is a pinchrest, lana del rey, mitski, rina, bjork, tv girl, marina girly thru and thru🤩🤩(im not pulling this from my spotify i sweAR) shes so deadfaced about it. she shits on all those weird coquette girlies tho!! (as she should queen!!!) Never will admit to listening to it tho, and not because she’s embarrassed but because she doesn’t want anyone thinking she relates to the themes/subject matter (bbg why are you lying🥲🥲) But that’s okay because we can consume art critically! 😁😁😀
Jean:
oh dear god. save this white man pls. 😢😢ok okok he actually has pretty good taste in music. hes the type that argues “i love all kinds of music just not country” (but ya know hes singing along to 9 to 5 everytime it plays on shuffle🤭🤭) he’s also very idgaf with the type of music he listens to and for that reason he’ll put you onto amazing artists!!! I feel like he listens to a lot of Omar Apollo, Sega Bodega, Dominic Fike, idkkk. He also listens to A LOT of Brent Faiyaz, the weeknd, and Gunna.😍😍BUTT I also will die on this hill that he used to love Eminem and would memorize all the lyrics (jeanboy is the real slim shady)😙 i luv him, he burns cds for all his friends (yes eren too) but will hand them off so nonchalantly and will be so careful in making the order of the tracks (yes eren too) and everyone will mock him for being so loving (yes eren too). Anyways I headcanon that jean is very very open with giving out all his love to his friends, always hosting everyone (yes eren too), wears his heart on his sleeves, tells his mom every little detail about them, and has the entire checklist for being a good friend down. anyways this isn’t unfortunately a jean post :( i luv him so much actually. also a big radiohead fan for some reason !😝😝
Hange:
I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!! hange has the best music taste and nobody expects it . (except me duh because i luv hange so so so so much 🤨) hange listens to what spotify categorizes as escape room music on their spotify wrapped. They listen to Eartheater, arca, bjork, coucou chloe, kilo kish, dorian electra, UGH I JUST CANT NOT ARGUE THIS ENOUGH!!! 👹👹hange’s dragging erwin and levi to the concerts and erwin’s grandpa ass is so enthusiastic for no reason (go white man go 🤠🤠) but like thats not all?? they also listen to artists like sevdaliza, florence, caroline polachek!!! HANGE LOVES WOMEN!!!! 😤FKA TWIGS, iamamiwhoami, kelela, kelsey lu :)))))) i feel like hange just loves :( it started out with trying to annoy levi with the weirdest sounding music ever but it turned out,,,,they really liked this kinda music (thx levi) Now he’s stuck with all their car rides consisting of hange whispering eartheater songs in his ear from the passengers seat right next to his ear. (also obsessed with any song they can gather people to dance along with #justdanceking) 🤞🤞
Erwin: 
erwin’s weird. he’s a weirdo. in case ya haven’t noticed. 😭😭 idk why his is so hard to think of??? He’s an unironic Rosalía stan and claims he luvs latina singers!! 😡😡i hate him so much. ok ok ok he’s a mariah carey, whitney houston, beyoncé, fan. He also loves like 2010s girl group music like fifth harmony, little mix, etcetera. 😫He cries to aretha franklin and nina simone. but he also knows the verses to Nicki’s songs :) i love him so much. ❤️
Sasha + Connie: 
they listen to the same music idc idc! Bad bunny, playboi carti, the weeknd. Connie went thru a bart simpson vapor wave/juice wrld phase. 😐😐😐He wouldve still been posting about XXXtentacion if Sasha didn’t smack some sense into him 😠😠(everyone say thank you sasha) Sasha also listens to lots of Britney i havta say! also loved the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, etc growing up. I luv her so much 🤭🤭
Armin: 
my sweet darling boy grew up listening to emo rock and goth rock growing up. he hid it from everyone tho! instead he listened it to full blast on his headphones for hours at night and thats why today he says “huh.” 😕after every sentence someone says :/ hes grown out of it now but he still can belt out the lyrics to black parade anyday! went crazy over King for a Day bc Kellin Quinn AND Pierce the Veil?!?!?!😳😳 Now he loves screaming along in eren’s ear! 🤪🤪
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ultimatefartwizard · 24 days
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Agonies of a Late Homestuck Reader Pt.3
Wiz is here for the hell that is this work, and now we start off with Act 2, we begin with a mysterious vagabond wandering a desert. He like... finds this underground bunker type thing with a lid that has the same symbol as the cruxtruder? Quite interesting!
Jumping back to John, since he seems to now be in like floating purgatory type situation yet alive and well.... as well as a just now 13 year old boy can be after just nearly dying from a meteor hurdling towards him and his father's house.
Am I insane and used RPGmaker XP too much? Or does the wind sound in it sound like one of the wind effects RPGmaker XP use (specifically using it as an example as I've never used other rpgmaker programs)
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I downloaded Ruffle (a in-browser flash player replacement) to circumnavigate the "flash player no longer supported" issue since I wanted a true genuine experience as it was intended, and thankfully it works! For those wanting Ruffle, you can find it -HERE-
I played the segment with John looking around his house, and was amused by this sort of omnipotent narrator type character (soon revealed to be the vagabond, having gone down into the bunker and is using a computer to communicate) that would order commands at him and just call him "BOY."
Various Vagabond antics; makes me think of how Kratos calls his son "boy" continually in Ragnarok.
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As I further mucked about, John's father seems to be missing and some sort of oil substance is everywhere. I originally thought his father got whole ass slaughtered and had him bleed out like a pig, thankfully not... maybe? I haven't read far enough yet.
I immediately thought of John Kramer talking through Billy the puppet when I read this clicking on the cabinet. And considering the species of "Cherub" in Homestuck is based on the puppet, I wouldn't put it past Hussie to make a (slightly butchered) reference.
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John talks to Dave, and.... well I won't show the image of the exact things he says when he starts rapping cuz 1. I can't put a clickable censor on images and 2. not comfortable posting that but OH MY GOD. HUSSIE... HUSSIE! NO STOP HUSSIE DONT WRITE THAT YOU ARE WHITE OH MY GODDD.... DON'T MAKE THAT CHILD SAY SUCH THINGS AND MAKE MORE WEIRD AND BORDERLINE RACIST COMMENTS.... Why are you obsessed. Why are you especially obsessed with black presidents and, in conjunction, Obama??? Do you have some sort of weird crush on this man because you think about him too much. (joking around with myself to save my sanity, im dying here, also note i feel these negative ramblings are important especially when looking at this piece of media in a critical light)
Please I pray the comments like this calm down... though knowing the later stuff ik Hussie doesn't stop being weird or finds new ways to be gross and weird. I also made the mistake of reading the "sweet bro and hella jeff" comic Hussie linked on Dave's segment and my god this explains the later incident with..... a certain Homestuck 2 character. DO NOT READ THAT FOR YOUR SANITY BTW.
Back onto the story itself, watching Dave manage his sylladex and how his captchalogues/uncaptchalogues stuff makes me realize how stupidly complex his is, and it's the most complex thus far. I still don't understand it but that's for another time for rambles. Also rather curious out of the three revealed human children so far he's the only one who's not apprehensive to his family member's collection of themed stuff; in this case, it's his brother's puppet collection. I swear to god there's got to be some sort of underlying reason for these, there's no way that these are all presented to the reader and somehow don't have any strong significance or meaning.
It cuts over to Rose again, who's trying to get out to the generator in the rain so she can boot up her computer to pair up with John again and escape certain doom due to a meteor shower hitting the forest she lives in and is engulfed in flames. She seems to have a lot of contempt for her mother, not sure if it's the same back towards her but they are noted to have some sort of one-uping competitions. Both John and Rose seem to compete with their parents while Dave nods and seeminly respects his brother's stuff, which is interesting and definitely will try to investigate this phenomenon as I read.
I leave off on page 374, certainly to return later for more reading! -Wiz
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lawlightism · 3 years
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This is going to make some people angry Maybe but can we please Please stop normalizing the five x handler ship 😐😐. And I don’t mean old five x the handler. I don’t understand that one personally, but it’s harmless. I don’t?? Understand why y’all specifically ship the YOUNGER body version w her?? Super weird imo. An adult should Not be attracted to a literal. 13 year olds body. Believe it or not it does Not matter if he’s actually like. 80 or whatever. That’s the same logic pedos use when sexualizing 73828393 year olds in a child’s body. Even if they ever did have a romantic relationship, she would not feel the same way after seeing him as a. Kid.
Let’s look into Why people ship this. I assume it’s because of the Handlers suggestive behavior towards him? But that’s literally j. Ok so Five has been stranded on his own for x amount of years right? Literally even interacting w another human after that is gonna make him 😐😐. Take this pandemic, as someone with social anxiety who has been stuck inside my house all year. Recently I had to go back to school to take a standardized test. Talking to people was literal hell for me, as I literally. Have not talked to anyone for a year. I pretty much forgot how to communicate. It’s the same kinda situation. And the handler recognizes this. She takes advantage of this. To intimidate him. She so so clearly is utilizing this to her advantage it’s not like. Actual romantic efforts. When I first watched the show, I literally understood that immediately. I’m not sure why y’all had to make it weird 😐😐. It just makes me feel super icky. Also have u taken into consideration the handler Personality. She literally acts like that to everyone.
The handler is obsessed with five. Well.... duh?? He was the best assassin they had right? So ofc ?? She would be obsessed w. Getting him back??
Now take into consideration their personalities. Think about it. Do either of them seem like people who would be in a relationship? Please just think about it. They are both incredibly independent people, and their personalities are not compatible at all. Fives main goal was to get back to her family, and the handler would simply. Not be interested in a relationship as she has. No compassion or sense of love.
A tangent
As someone who is a fan of the handler and fives (platonic) dynamic, the main reason they make such good rivals , is the fact that they are literally incompatible. They are opposites. The handler is calm until put in stressful situations. Five is antsy, but becomes calm in stressful situations. The handler is deceptive and manipulative. Five is skeptical and distrustful. Do u see how that just. Would not work? Fives priorities lie with his family, while the handler is selfish. But!! This makes them so fun to watch? There’s always twists and outsmarting. God I love their dynamic!
She never cared about him from the start, only his abilities. She claims she saved him from a life of suffering but?? No? She only “saved” him when she needed his abilities. She’s not empathetic. She’s not caring, and he is painfully aware of this. (Skepticism)
A similar thing happened w her and Lila. She never cared about her. When she was of no use, she had no hesitation when she (spoiler but if yknow then yknow) The only reason the handler did not kill five, was because he was of use to her. Lots of use. She wanted this so bad, she was willing to put her own life on the line, when she could have easily shot him.
Conclusion?
If you ship them as adults, I don’t personally like. Understand it but it’s harmless so you do you. If you ship the other version then 😐😐. M. Why. Sorry if this literally made. No sense. Ik no one will see this, but I haven’t heard one person speak up about this and 😬😬. Those two r my favorite characters and I hate seeing them done like this. :(
Also it’s fine if you disagree with me or whatever just stay respectful n stuff.
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nowis-scales · 3 years
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Pre-Verdant Wind Endgame Update
An Update on the ol’ Three Houses Verdant Wind playthrough, since I’ve been neglecting documenting my journey properly for a bit:
• My current placement is Ch.20, so I’m only a few chapters away from the last one. It’s kind of a weird thought because I feel like I just hit the timeskip, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will feel well-paced out. In terms of writing, I’m known for being a bit of a stickler for good flow. It’s why all of my fanfics take so long to update! I have to make sure my flow is perfect.
• The fact that they have been giving background information on characters has been so amazing. Learning that Raphael’s sister’s name was Maya and getting to hear about her has made me irrationally happy.
• Also, just generally, holy shit people sleep on Raphael and Leonie. Raphael often gets shoved to the side, and Leonie is treated like her only trait is liking Jeralt, and for me it all just culminates in the question of “so did you like... not do their support conversations, or...?” Seriously. I think Leonie might be one of my favourites in the game so far, and I adore Raph. He’s so sweet!
• The Flame Emperor reveal for some reason gave me “and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids” vibes. I liked the venom Cherami Leigh had there as Rhea, too. I think I read from someone that in Japanese, Rhea’s actually super calm in that scene. I don’t think I have a preference towards the anger or the calmness, honestly. I think I just liked how smoothly the emotion came across. Plus, I’m a little biased, I’m fond of Cherami as an actress. I haven’t found a performance from her I haven’t enjoyed yet.
• I was really confused as to why Seteth showed up in my house after Chapter 12ish I think? I wasn’t expecting him to just be there after the paralogue, but I definitely wasn’t unhappy. I do like him! I just never use him, because I recruited Bernadetta and Sylvain, so I kinda have a full roster going... 
• I was also confused in the Gronder Field fight because I couldn’t see what people meant about Bernie getting set on fire. Then I remembered Bernie wasn’t on the hill because she was with me. I recruited her. Whatever this proves about me, I don’t know.
• I did end up beating Marianne’s paralogue! It actually wasn’t as hard once I levelled her up a bit and classed her to a Holy Knight. The big thing with her in that paralogue seems to be that she needs a decent amount of power and movement to really get by, so that’s what I’d recommend for anyone else playing it. Using rescue will also probably help you out, but I tried to avoid using Flayn there because it’s kinda easy to kill her. 
• Admittedly, I’m not 100% sure how I feel about the support system. In some ways, I think it’s better that not everybody has that forced S-Support. Oftentimes we were either squeezing a love confession out of two characters who were unlikely to have one, or characters with decent potential might get snubbed because their connection was less apparent to the writers (and unfortunately that still does happen in the case of same sex S-supports in 3H). Having the conversations only go to a certain point is helpful, but at the same time, the inherent romantic undertones of several of the A-supports do make things feel strange. If it weren’t for the fact that I know characters can have only one partner as their paired ending, I would think lots of them were in a polycule. Nothing wrong with that as long as everyone’s comfortable, but because I know they can only have one person in their ending, I find it pretty jarring.
• I think it was interesting that they went to do the fights for breaking into Enbarr and then taking down Edelgard back-to-back. I’m glad they did, honestly, because while I don’t usually like to do two fights next to each other unless I’m grinding, it doesn’t mess with the suspension of disbelief. It would be stupid to break into Enbarr and then just run right back to the Monastery.
• I have still not completed the randomized quest from just after the timeskip. You know, the one I was yelling about with the weeds? Still haven’t gotten any weeds. I think I might just have to give up on it. It’s hilarious that my luck is so good that it’s actually bad.
• The fact that Byleth is praised for having more of a personality than Corrin is the biggest slice of bullshit I have heard from this fanbase in a long time. Byleth is literally designed to be a silent protagonist with nothing going on with them – they even came up with a story reason for why Byleth is such a blank sack of meat! In the kindest way possible, I don’t think most people realize that they are implementing whatever personality they want onto Byleth. Personally, I don’t find anything relatable about being stoic, calm, and not inclined to anyone (until plot happens, of course). I’ve always been the overly enthusiastic and caring type, with a tendency towards nervousness. Trying to relate to Byleth was like trying to relate to the experiences of a cactus. While I definitely don’t think Corrin is the strongest of the modern FE avatars – that award goes to Robin – they still had some things I could understand and relate to. If you’re not the type of person who loves the cool, “I fight for my friends” types like Ike, though, you’re likely to have a hard time relating to Byleth. If you can manage that type of character, then you’re more likely to have present them with a personality of their own.
• Actually, while we’re on the topic of Byleth getting praised for things Corrin got dragged for, the fact that Corrin is still cited as the character who receives the most “player pandering” is ridiculous too. Do a lot of characters like Corrin? Yeah! But most of them who do are deeply traumatized in a way that inclines them specifically towards Corrin. The Nohr siblings cling to each other due to their abusive childhood, the Hoshido siblings all in some capacity seem to suffer from abandonment issues (oldest) and/or attachment issues (youngest), and the official foursome of retainers have also had some sort of abandonment struggle in their past (forced separation from parents, murdered loved ones). While the cast of Three Houses needs therapy and is traumatized too, there is no reason why the inclination moves towards Byleth. Bernadetta feels safe around them just because. Edelgard is obsessed with them just because. Marianne learns to feel better about herself just because. Why are there so many exceptions for Byleth, and so many just without explanation? I don’t hate Byleth by any means, but these two things make my opinion of them lower than it would be otherwise. It kinda sucks that my image of Byleth is tainted by the fanbase’s hypocrisy, but I know I can’t have everything.
• The gameplay overall for 3H has been pretty fun! I love the addition of the Demonic Beasts, as annoying as they are to fight. There’s a charm to having some of your stronger units working to take on the soldiers blocking the path, meanwhile your army’s more intermediate strikeforce works to keep them safe by bringing down the beast. Once you get the hang of it, gameplay with the new additions is fun. The only thing I don’t use is Divine Pulse, but that’s because I’m on Casual and usually when I want to rewind, I want to just plain start over. So I use the old “turn off and start again” trick.
• Edelgard’s death scene was actually pretty good. I must confess that I went out of my way to avoid Edelgard in the academy phase, as I knew how hard the game was going to hit me with the “she’s obessed with you” thing and I wanted to see how wonky it would feel if I didn’t speak to her much. I was right that it’s incredibly awkward in terms of writing when you haven’t spent the time with her, but surprisingly, her death scene still holds up. Good voice acting, animation, and music. My only beef with it is something they have done in FE before, and it’s something I wish they’d stop. If a character is dying, you either let them have a few last breaths after their last lines or you kill them mid-sentence. It’s probably just a personal nitpick, but hearing them get their last word out without struggle and then immediately die just makes me aware of how badly the directors wanted the whole line to be in there. I can totally understand it but I find it so troublesome in the grand scheme of things that I just can’t.
• I also like that in the fight against Edelgard, they tried to make it ambiguous who had the key. Immediately as it told me that, I decided it was Petra and ended up being right. I was kind of sad to kill her though, to be honest. I don’t know her well, but she’s probably one of the Eagles I like more.
• The fight against the Death Knight at Fort Merceus ended up being surprisingly pretty easy. In fact, while I paved the way for most of my army, Nader ended up making it to the Death Knight just as Claude did. He did most of the damage – I’m not kidding, the Death Knight was down to 1 HP – and then Claude took care of the rest. It was a weird fight. They said impregnable a lot leading up to it.
• I understand why they kill Dimitri off-screen at the Gronder Field fight, but I was admittedly a bit disappointed. Again, Salli Saffoti does a good job doing Hilda’s voice for it, but I would have liked to see it animated. It was also nice to have that little rapport with Dedue! If only we could have allied with the Lions a bit more. Everyone always says Claude and Edelgard have similar goals; however, it’s their methods that differ. Claude seems to align himself a bit closer to Dimitri, so I’m usually a bit confused by the idea that Edelgard and Claude would work together. I was spoiled on enough to know her background and story, and even so, I think that her methodology is just a bit too violent for his tastes. But that’s just my two cents.
 Alright. I think that’s about all I can drain out of my brain from the top of my head. With that, I am off to kill the slithers! We’ll see how this goes. Wish me luck!
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synaps · 5 years
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I did not see this 5 years ago, though apparently I did
Hi there! So, in the light of the recent Ao no Exorcist chapters and Katou having a solid grasp on her timeline after all, my brain shocked itself enough to produce some serotonin and I decided I’m gonna diverge from my own principles and post this. Brain producing serotonin should be encouraged. Buckle up, everyone bothering to read: this timeline breakdown/fan theory emerged in 2012, when a bored AnE-fan pieced together a few of the plot reveals we’re starting to see now.
Spoiler warning for The End of the Beginning! Though strictly speaking they’re a timeline framework I developed in order to write TEotB, which means they’re gonna drop very soon via the flashback! So it probably isn’t as mind-blowing as it was to me... BUT I DON’T CARE I’ve been waiting 6 years for the content we’re getting right now, 6 years I’ve been on the edge of my seat for this misfit clone dork to finally tell his story and AAAAAH
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This is basically a full-body search of the Kyoto arc chapters, 'cause that was the only bit of the past we had back when I started writing. To this day that’s the part of the manga I have the best grasp on. x’D But all those hours paid off, good gods they paid off! This is long. Bear with me, ‘kay? Old-time AnE-fans remember that it was commonly thought the twins were born on Blue Night, much due to the anime: Kyoto Arc said it wasn’t. If you looked carefully, you could figure out that Blue Night was in fact the time of the twins’ conception, not their birth. Though to be absolutely sure, I plotted out the timeline three times and dug up records from a weather station in Kyoto to see if there would have been snow at that time of year in the early to mid 90′s because that’s how goddamn obsessed I am. And if you did figure out that the twins were conceived on Blue Night, you were inevitably sucked into an even more obsessive downward spiral into crazy fan madness because that meant Fujimoto Shiro was sent to steal Kurikara to “kill some kids” before those kids existed even on an embryonic stage.
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My original estimate was that the stage had taken 24 years to set up, based on the info in Kyoto Arc, but with Mephisto’s recent director’s cut of how he ghost wrote history that number bumps up to 36 years or potentially even longer.
For reference, the timeline I put together for TEotB plus the fresh dates from the flashback arc: 1977: Mephisto pressures Shiro into promising him a free wish because extorting a kid that’s struggling for his life is an ok move 1984: Satan fails possession for the first time because whoa so many limbs at once 1989: the Myou Dha is struck by disease 1993: Satan figures out how to properly possess someone, that’s Rin’s unrelenting never-give-up attitude right there 1994: after a nine year learning curve on just staying in a body Satan has three PhD’s and ditches school after one year of education - guess possessing a body really is a difficult thing to pull off huh 1995: Shiro unwillingly becoming the caretaker of orphans: part I 1996: not yet confirmed but Saburota’s first meeting with Lucifer/Asylum is probably now Also 1996: Satan returns to Section 13 with a reclamation claim on that crap body they sold him 1996-1997 (somewhere around New Year’s, I estimate): Shiro, who was an Upper First Class exorcist at the time, cures Myou Dha and oh is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to return to your boss after a successful mission? 1997 (probably mid-to-late March): Blue Night sucked for everyone, but at least Shiro and Tatsuma got promotions - yay 1997: Shiro unwillingly becoming the caretaker of orphans: part II 2003: when you’re a cursed, massacred and financially broke sect like Myou Dha, there’s few options but to join the Order of the True Cross to stay afloat 2005: Saburota recruits Mamushi to spy by raising suspicions against Mephisto ‘cause really, that ain’t hard 2013: a giant pile of shit appears in Kyoto and unleashes destruction on its surroundings and for once it isn’t Mephisto
The manga and the timeline are pretty self-explanatory so what I wanna stress here is what happened 24 years ago, in 1989, ‘cause that’s something Katou hasn’t touched upon yet and it’s really fun except for those involved. In 1989, a disease starts plaguing Myou Dha and the symptoms are identical to what you get from exposure to the miasma from the Impure King’s Eyes. It seems to be a very local problem, as we don’t hear of any epidemic in the rest of Kyoto. Did the seal on the Right Eye spring a leak? Nope. Because the Eye wasn’t there.
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We haven’t seen the shrivelled up bit of IK cause any trouble - not saying it couldn’t, but it seemed like that one hadn’t been active much for the past 150 years and it had been constantly monitored by the High Priest. I cross-referenced with the dates given in the new flashbacks but the outbreak doesn’t coincide with any boost of demonic activity related to Satan’s progress. So? The disease in Kyoto is its own separate disaster, and it’s most likely engineered. Let’s work our way back from the present to see how Mephisto set up this stage~ Mephisto knew of Saburota’s plan to unleash IK, and was all cool with that ‘cause hey, good opportunity to test Rin’s flame, build some team spirit, power up Bon, etc. For that reason he decided to move the Right Eye from his own keep to Myou Dha’s: if Saburota had been able to steal both of them from True Cross he wouldn’t have needed the pit stop at the Kyoto Office. He would have revived IK straight away, and even Mephisto couldn’t have motivated sending a bunch of kids into that chaos. So, move the Eye to a secret strategic location in Kyoto and force Saburota into jumping through a couple of extra hoops to get it. The Eye was moved in 2003 or thereabouts: this coincides with Myou Dha joining the Order, and makes perfect sense. The relic has ties to their sect, and it’s kinda fair to give them something back since Meph indefinitely borrowed their main relic, and now that they’re part of the Order and all - yada yada, smoke screens. Mephisto gave them the relic to set Saburota up, but not until he had the means to also give Saburota a trail to follow. Our fav Uncle Goat approached Mamushi, his student, in 2005 and recruited her to get the Right Eye. He probably thought he was cleverly working around Mephisto’s attempt to prevent theft, but if we think about it: who gave Saburota the opportunity to manipulate her in the first place? It is much easier to get your hands on an impressionable young Myou Dha kid if the Myou Dha kids attend the school where Saburota teaches. But why would they? When their families are very competent exorcists on their own and they’re used to keeping to themselves and...
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Keeping to yourself is only an option so long as you can survive by yourself, and from 1989 on Myou Dha couldn’t. But Granpa Suguro, being as stubborn as he is, has refused any modern/outside help for 7 bloody years. This disease is weird for several reasons. Its localised spread, for one; its similarity with the Eye mashou when there is no Eye present; the way it vanishes and is never heard of again after Shiro’s visit; the suspiciously good timing. We now know Mephisto is aware of the future to a certain extent - we saw that confirmed when he set Shiro up with that promise. That was the last doubt removed from my theory about the Kyoto disease, so here we are. Satan hadn’t even manifested with a consciousness yet but Mephisto had his sights on Kurikara and Myou Dha’s cooperation in 1989. He is a man of sophistication, so he takes the “if the mountain won’t come to Muhammad, Muhammad must come to the mountain“ approach: he used the Eyes to orchestrate an outbreak that would force the sect to reach out to True Cross - the biggest, most knowledgeable exorcist organisation around - for aid. Because the alternative would be to smash in there and outright steal the sword and nobody would send their kids to your organisation after that. But it didn‘t work. Granpa Suguro refused to follow script and so the years went by, Satan gained consciousness, grew intelligent, grew bored, oops there goes the Asylum ceiling, jfc Suguro how many more have to die before you just play along like a good boy...? In the end Mephisto had to deploy Plan B: screw it, theft it is. If Muhammad won’t go to the goddamn mountain I’m gonna drop the mountain right on Muhammad’s stubborn head.
Of course this means fucking things up for Shiro, ‘cause that’s just how these things go when you’re running a tight deadline getting the Antichrist(s) a birthday present. Also it’s fun.
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This frame says everything, really. xD Come now, how would you expect these people to trust you, and develop a friendly attitude to the Order, if you barge in there on your black-ops mission like a humanoid battleship, grab their relic and ditch the scene? Bad PR, very bad PR. Buuut if you’re injured enough that you can’t make that immediate escape, and you just happen to know how to cure this very specific disease that never flares up again, which you can contract from only 2 items in the world, of which both are owned by the snake-tongued sass ball you are enslaved by work for...? What a fortunate coincidence, what a golden opportunity to create some debt gratitude and-
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Nevermind... 
I headcanon that if Granpa Suguro hadn’t died on Blue Night, Mephisto would have set him on fire personally for being such a roadblock to his plans. After Blue Night Myou Dha was decimated, bankrupt, thought by the population to be cursed - what is a poor sect to do? Who could possibly help? Oh wait wasn‘t there some guy a while back, y’know, that exorcist dude who came crashing in and saved the lives of our families and friends? He seemed to know what he was doing, think we could ask him? So the take-away from this is If not for that disease, if not for Mephisto’s misinformation and Shiro’s break-in, Myou Dha would never have joined True Cross. The Right Eye would never have been kept in Kyoto, there had been no Myou Dha kids at the Academy for Saburota to recruit, and the cram school kids would never have been in Kyoto to fight the Impure King. And also that Mephisto is a fabulous bastard and a pure joy to write! ☆
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sims2shrine · 4 years
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“This soulless game isn’t really ‘The Sims’ for me”
I am starting off this blog with a review for The Sims 3 from Amazon.com user Valentinegirl. Why The Sims 3 on a blog dedicated to The Sims 2, you ask? Because this review details just about everything about The Sims 2 that makes it so special and endearing. Whenever I come back to playing The Sims 2 after a long break, I like to re-read this review because it always excites and inspires me to play this game that I am so passionate about. Note that the opinions expressed in this review do not necessarily correlate with my own -- I do enjoy all of PC versions for the most part. I just believe that The Sims 2 is far superior to the others, hence why this blog was born.
“Like many of the other reviewers here, I have been a HUGE fan of The Sims franchises, losing many pleasant hours to The Sims 1 and its wonderful sequel The Sims 2. Even before The Sims came out I was a Maxis fan, playing games like Sim City and Sim Tower with pleasure. I can't say that The Sims 3 has ‘disappointed’ me because the more I heard about the new game over its development period the more I thought to myself ‘why are they including this feature or dropping that feature? It sounds like they are tampering with the heart of the things I enjoy about The Sims’. But I bought the game anyway in good faith. Needless to say I am now back to playing The Sims 2. The Sims 3 has no interest for me at all in comparison. Despite all the ‘improvements’ - and I admit there are some surface ones - the heart and soul of what The Sims means to me is absent from this game. Unlike other reviewers here, my negative review of this game is not due to any technical difficulties. Perhaps I haven't played long enough to experience any, and at any rate - every hard-core Sims fan has learned to live with the bugs shipped with the game and love it anyway. The modding community has always done a sterling job of cleaning up our games and making them more playable and enjoyable. So my negative rating is not due to bugs or crashes - it is purely based on my perception of the game's enjoyment factor, especially when compared to The Sims 2. To be fair, I will sum up what to me are improvements to the game compared to The Sims 2: - the ‘open neighbourhood’ - the ability to go from one place to the other without a loading screen is a fine idea and works well in principal. But I found that it really didn't impact my playing habits as much as you might think at first. While playing a large, busy family there would be very little time to go rushing off to the park or elsewhere and I found I was ‘household’ focussed in my game playing just as much as in The Sims 2. I actually prefer in some ways the way community lots worked in The Sims 2. If you could organise your sims enough to go off to a community lot, time would actually stand still in the meantime, taking the pressure off your enjoyment of this change in pace for your sims. - No doubt about it, the ‘Create a Style’ colour wheel/pattern maker is the one thing that is far superior to recolouring in The Sims 2. It's great fun and so easy to go through and match up clothing, furniture, wallpaper, etc in an obsessive fashion that suits my type of playing down to the ground. But even here is a caveat - there is no Body Shop type program to truly customise textures. You can recolour only which is hardly satisfying in a creative way compared to being able to extract a texture and import it into Photoshop, thereby putting your own personal stamp on the texture. For example, in The Sims 2 you could export a dress texture and by pasting on a texture of your own you could make the outfit appear to be a cardigan and skirt instead. I am sure custom content creators in time will come up with ways of importing new meshes/textures into The Sims 3, but it is obvious that EA is trying to limit this type of thing to the ‘regular’ user right from the beginning by eliminating a ‘Bodyshop’ program from their development tools. - The ease of angle rotation is an unmixed blessing in this game - something that I wish had happened in The Sims 2 - The outdoor scenery in The Sims 3 is gorgeous from the beach, the shimmering water, to the parks, rolling hills etc. But the limitations put on being able to make this neighbourhood your own again shows up the inflexibility built into this game. Whereas in The Sims 2 you could completely customise your neighbourhood, building it up from a terrain created in Sim City, to decorating it and laying out your lots etc, in this game, EA gives you this beautiful scenery and then severely limits your ability to customise it. You cannot create your own terrain, the community lot buildings are the same everywhere and are not even properly functional, and there are a limited number of lots for your houses. It feels like a ‘dumbed down’ version of a neighbourhood to me that even the ‘open plan’ of the game cannot make up for. - There are a lot more surface details to gameplay in The Sims 3 by the way of person and object interactions and the little missions/opportunities that pop up. I do appreciate the amount of thought that has gone into a lot of these things, like adding depth to the career paths and making such things as painting a picture personal to every different type of sim. But again, when playing a busy family (six kids!) I found that I would just click the opportunities away as an annoyance without even reading them. There was no way my busy mother or father could go running off to the town park for a chess tournament when they were caring for screaming toddlers at home! - The lighting of the new game is a nice update and beautiful. It is also flexible if you have the time or inclination to mess around with the many options provided So even the improvements included in The Sims 3 are mostly mixed blessings for me! Here are the things that have decided me against the game: - The sims themselves. Try as I might, I cannot bond with these weird looking people and that bond between the player and their ‘Simmies’ is the major factor that holds many Sims fans in thrall. For a start, these creations just don't look like sims to me. It is laughable that the creators of this game are claiming that the sculpting tools given to create a sim are more flexible and customisable than in The Sims 2! In fact the sliders are very limited in their scope and have less points of difference than those provided in ‘Bodyshop’. That round-faced, chinless look that we all noticed and wondered at in preview pictures of this game is there for the very specific reason that you can't provide your sim with a proper chin and all of them look blobby and quite fat in the face. The noses look like they are just stuck on anyhow and look very unfortunate in profile. And the empty-looking eyes roll in a very disconcerting and unappealing alien manner. The sims toddlers and children - one of my prime delights in The Sims 2 - all look very ugly and all look exactly the same. One couple I played had six children, just to check out the genetics and all of them looked like peas in a pod until they got to their adult years, and even then the differences were minimal. It was very unsatisfying spending so much time and energy raising these unappealing little clones! - Obviously, I have had trouble creating sims I like to look at. That wouldn't matter as much if I could love the way these sims act and interact. If you think back to The Sims 1 and The Sims 2 what charmed fans of these games was how cute, quirky, funny, unexpected and unique all these characters seemed to the player. I don't accept the criticism the developers of this new game kept stating that ‘all previous sims games had sims who were all the same and all they wanted to do all the time was go to the toilet!’ Well really - do they think The Sims 1 and 2 would have been such world-wide successes if this were actually true?? Of course not! Our sims charmed us, made us laugh, surprised us and often took their own little lives in their own hands and pulled the game in a direction all their own. The two things promised by The Sims 3 creators about how the new sims would behave were 1) There would be a lot more time to attend to the sims' lives and less need to run around after them caring for their basic ‘needs’ - such as sending them to the toilet or to bed; and 2) the new ‘traits’ system would ensure truly unique behaviour from the sims and open up entirely new vistas of personalities and interactions for sims fans to enjoy. I'm sorry to say, but I have to rebut both of these stated improvements. 1)I think every Sims 3 player, no matter how dedicated a fan they are will admit that you spend more time waiting for your sims to fulfil needs than ever before. You spend ages just watching them sleep every night. They seem to have bladder and hunger needs that are never satiated, and you spend more boring time staring at their work building while they are off at work. So between taking them to work, watching them sleep, fulfilling their needs and trying to skill up, there is actually zero time left in a sims' busy day to take them to the park, the beach or visit a neighbour! How is this the ‘new balance’ of life over needs that the developers were so proudly proclaiming?? 2) As for the ‘traits’ system - that has to be the biggest disappointment of all. Sure, picking different traits for your sims will give them some very superficial differences, such as different interaction possibilities with other sims, or different animations. but at a deeper level, each and every sim seems the same over and over again. I think the main reason I say this is if you watch a household full of sims who all supposedly have a unique set of traits, you don't see them acting differently unless you tell them to. In fact they barely interact with one another at all if you don't tell them to. They ignore one another and spend their time being boring - fulfilling the endless needs or perhaps using a skill object. They don't care to interact with one another at all! It is quite possible to have two sims living in the same house forever and they remain total strangers to one another. You have to force them to interact which I find really annoying - I had hoped that they might work out their own relationships as they did in The Sims 2. Another annoying thing is the lack of familial affection between sims. Unlike The Sims 2, you never see a parent hug, kiss or play with a child unless you tell them to. You just don't feel that these sims love/care about one another at all, and I remember that feeling that ‘love is real’ between sims being the primary and most striking point that charmed me when The Sims 2 came out. I am sorry to say, if I compare the depth of personality of a houseful of Sims 2 and 3 sims, the Sims 2 sims would win hands down. In Sims 2, they would take one another in like or dislike, be attracted to some and repulsed by others. The parents would hug their kids when they got home from work, and kiss them goodnight. Husbands and wives would find a quiet corner and canoodle in a very romantic way. In Sims 3 they all coldly ignore one another and act in boring and one-dimensional ways, totally uninfluenced by their so-called ‘unique traits’. This lack of true feeling for my sims and between the sims themselves is my primary reason for calling this latest instalment ‘soulless’. How can you feel attached to these ugly, alien-like people who all look and act the same? - I do not care for one of the key selling points of The Sims 3 - the so-called ‘story progression’. Which sim fan really wants to leave their playable family for a little while only to come back and find they've moved out of the neighbourhood, or had a family while you're not looking with kids you didn't get to name? Where is the appeal in that? Most sims fans love to micro-manage their sim's lives - who they love, marry, have kids with, what they name their kids, where they choose to live, etc. Even more frustrating, the ability to turn story progression off is broken!! Good one, EA!! Another one of my criticisms is that EA has written out some of the most enjoyable and endearing elements of The Sims 2. Eliminating these things really proves to me how little the developers of the game understood the things that true Sims fans love about their games. Here are some as an example: - Story mode is gone. Yes I know there is a camera and yes I know they have all this fancy equipment that enables you to easily upload stories and movies onto the web to share. But I bet 90% of Sims players are not all that interested in sharing stories on the world wide web. The Sims has always been a highly personal game - a fantasy world unique to each sims player, and making up and sharing sims stories is not the driving reason to play the game for most. It is to get lost in your own little self-created kingdom and fall in love with the little pixels that people it. In Sims 1 & 2, using the camera as I played and building up an album for each little family became a mainstay of my playing style over the years. Most of the time I would not even add text to the pictures. They would be safely stored in each family's little album and every once in a while I would choose to browse through this visual record of my sims' little lives and enjoy again the sentimental, surprising, funny little incidents that marked the passage of that family's life. I would record the unexpected or charming little things that made my sims seem unique, like when my prim little sim teenager fell in love with the neighbourhood ‘bad boy’ all on her own and against any of my expectations. Or when my shy, nerdy sim who lived with a party animal room-mate spent all her time in her room reading on the bed or, of all things - washing the windows! whenever her room-mate threw one of her wild parties! Not having this record at hand of the family's little story in Sims 3 is definitely a contributing factor to the feeling of the game having little forward progression - every day seems like the one before. - Eliminating memories from the Sims is another way EA has wiped out the sense you might have of the family's story and history. I know memories caused all sorts of trouble in The Sims 2 if you moved sims indiscriminately from one neighbourhood to the next, but I think for many of us, having that sim's little milestones recorded in their memories really gave the sim a feel of individuality and personal growth. After not playing a particular family for a long time the first thing I would do would be to flip through the family's album and check their memories. This would put me back in touch with where the family was in their own particular life story. - Another charming Sims 2 feature that was wiped out was the attraction system. I know the original Sims 2 game did not ship with this, but it was added early on in one of the expansion packs and I am sure every Sims 2 fan absolutely loved it. It was another way to differentiate sims from one another. You could create down to the finest detail two sims who you thought would be ‘perfect’ for each other, only to find they couldn't stand each other! Then two of the unlikeliest sims would get together all of their own accord, making you feel that these little people had minds and hearts of their own. I loved this feature so much that my playing style was to resolutely let each sim choose his or her own mate with no help from me. There are other reasons for me not to like this highly polished, highly superficial instalment of The Sims franchise. But in the end, it came down to these basic feelings about the game - I don't care how gorgeous it is to look at if the gameplay is shallow and boring - I feel like EA is really dumbing down long-time sims fans by trying to eliminate custom content, charging like a wounded bull for their sub-standard stuff and doing their best to stifle the creativity of the custom content community - The sims are cookie-cutter clones of one another, and have no charm either of physical appearance or personality. The life and soul has been sucked out of these pixel-people - There is no sense of story, no unexpected interactions, no story mode or memories to record the sims lives. They no longer care about one another at all - parents, children, lovers, room-mates, friends - it doesn't matter what relationship the sims have to one another, there is no desire for these people to interact or develop their relationships unless you force it. I am mad at EA for ‘missing the boat’ on this franchise upgrade. In fact, it no longer feels like The Sims at all to me. All the charm and spontaneity has gone out of the game. I suppose it's not surprising I feel this way - Will Wright and his unique Maxis team of developers are long gone and EA has taken over. EA have no idea, and do not care what made The Sims beloved of fans the world over and instead are forcing something on them that has only a surface relationship to previous games. Much in the same way they ‘improved’ Sim City out of all recognition of the original game (’Sim City Societies’), they have done this to The Sims and that, I think is unforgivable. Fortunately, The Sims 2 will always be here and I am gladly getting back to my cute, funny, irreverent, surprising little sims with the huge added bonus of all the expansion packs and custom content I have built up over the years. I doubt if I will ever come back to The Sims 3 even if they bring out boatloads of expansion packs. If the game has no soul, it cannot be loved.
This review was written on July 27th, 2009. Source: Amazon.com. Link to original review: https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/RCEHMW5QIIA7B/ref=cm_cr_getr_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00166N6SA
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marsixm · 5 years
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edit sorry this post is both long (if the readmore fails i am truly truly sorry) & longwinded im just reflecting and thinking; (another edit: u can probably just read the tl dr and get it)
anyway allow me to spin some very personally based theory here for a mo while i put off/warm my fingers up from the cold in preparation to email my therapist
so growing up i had, i think only, het ships, but i never quite had the ones you were (narratively speaking) “supposed to” have
in most media i recall when i was a kid, there were like, 2 diff structures of character romance plot arcs in media i consumed, there was the main lead and 2 best friends model, where thered be the star of the show who had outside romantic leads and the 2 best friends (who were always a boy and a girl) would have their secondary romance, OR there were ensemble shows where there was a more clear romance set up between the main boy and main girl, then side characters whod pair off in whatever ways ended up happening. in the first, see: hannah montana, the second, see: zoey 101. obv this isnt a hard rule and there were loads of exceptions but like, lets just say i tended not to care for the romances set up for the main girls in the trio models, or quite as hard for the main boy and girl in the ensembles, and in general if there was an obvious romance between two leads i either didnt care or outright hated it
basically i never liked the ships they set up for us in straight media, as a kid (namely, a girl) i liked being that “ew pink!” “i hate valentines day” sort of contrarian, but what i remember actually disliking was the predictability of it, because i clearly still shipped characters, so it wasnt /really/ that i hated romance, per se
looking back on it i think it was probably or at least to a degree more like that i hated the hetero expectation of it- i can nit pick down to more specific examples of why i disliked the main pairings (kataang, for example, i thought was weird bc katara acted like a mother/older sister figure to aang, and i didnt feel like there was romance between them at all except where it felt shoehorned in) - maybe it was also that i thought it made more sense for a main character to be with someone they clearly already spent a lot of time with and not some random new hot boy in town (i very distinctly remember shipping miley and oliver on hannah montana, and i believe that was the first time i ever read fanfiction @ age like... 11 lol) as is often the case w like these things.
theres another level to this though, which is that i notice i tended to ship characters who were more vaguely similar to each other, like, physically (ie, similar heights, or hair colors mainly) obviously this is funny now since my main pairing is johnlock which is such a physically different ship we can construct them from basic shapes and colors and theyre still recognizable as who they are, but i have some thoughts about this- but i think there might be two interesting things about this again in retrospect
first of all, this sounds silly ik, but shipping the vaguely similar ones as a child’s way of queering heterosexuality is an interesting concept and not that difficult, like, two boys are also vaguely similar to each other in a similar way a boy and a girl with the same hair color and height might be, which is something i thought of a while ago
the other way in which this is really interesting to me now, that i think might have been more actually pertinent to myself as a trans child, is that i think i shipped the characters i did in an attempt to morph the concept of boy and girl? to find the boy counterpart to every girl??? that second one makes more sense actually. anyway, i digress
2 start off i definitely had gender feelings starting from a very young age so i think these observations ring more true than just reflections, PERHAPS
so the first thing i remember shipping, ie wanting them to be together, thinking about it an inordinate amount of time outside watching the films, even imagining them eating ice cream together in their pjs (i was NINE DHFJGghfkg) was jack sparrow & elizabeth swan from potc (basically my franchise of choice as a kid bc i never read harry potter) now this doesnt quite fit the “visually similar” thing bc actually orlando bloom looks more like kiera knightly and is prob due to them like making out in one movie, but i think this works for the “shipping as gender expression” theory, because elizabeth swan dressed up as a boy, spent most of that movie wearing boy’s clothes, etc- meanwhile jack was a wacky pirate which like hello duh i’d want to be. so i wonder if beyond the fact that they kissed and flirted, there was something to this concept of me wanting two characters to be together, meant i wanted to marry together two conceptual things happening with two characters, or absorb the cool dude and the boyish girl characters into each other to make one whole archetype for myself? i likewise shipped aang and toph (toph who, normally doesnt really have anyone to be shipped with, since she likes sokka but he has a gf) who we all know is the VERY boyish girl character, so boyish im p sure her actually being a trans dude later in life is a p decently accepted headcanon (i dont actually delve into aatla fandom though so i can only hope) 
another thing about this ship thing, is most of my ships had brown hair (like miley and oliver), just like i always have, and in certain cases the girl character would look a LOT like me (i also shipped logan and quinn on zoey 101, which to my surprise n delight actually came true later (although looking back im like... 11 yr old me is glad they made out a lot but adult me is like uhhh why were the kids on this show making out a lot? anyway thats another issue) and i def was a weirdo girl with glasses and long brown wavy hair) which sort of further fuels my feeling that this was an attempt by my brain to do 1 of 2 things, if my own involvement really was a greater motivating factor in this thing, 1. ship MYSELF with a boy (which is like def possible for my gay kinnie ass, but not quite my thesis here) or 2. morph these boy and girl counterparts by imagining them together, seeing them together, etc
for example, i realize now, when i was a kid i drew an avatar sona for myself and said sona looked an awful lot like how id imagine a katara/zuko fusion would be, and the fact that i shipped zutara (very hard lol) was what lead me down this thought path rn
i feel like even to me this concept sounds weird and far fetched but like, gem fusion made enough sense for someone to write with its clearly, usually, romantic implications and we all “get” that, so whom knows???
another thing ive noticed while writing this is for a good few of these ships you can argue the boys in them can be read gay, like jack sparrow and zuko and aang, which feels even more strongly like me trying to marry my gay boy feelings to my tomboy realities [thinking emoji]
the biggest reason i think this makes sense to me is because when i was 10 i became obsessed with the idea that this boy i was friends with and i were secretly twins separated at birth, like i was so into the concept that we looked alike, i like hoped and wished so hard for it to be true, i wished a christmas miracle would happen for fucking real and a magic door in my house would open and be his new room and itd all work out perfectly! and you might think this was a manifestation of my difficulties with my family and wishing to leave it, but in my dream world my parents were still my parents and he came to live with us- which makes me think the obsession of ME looking like this BOY was a manifestation of my gender feelings, which i think can maybe be traced to this concept of pairing a visually similar, possibly gay, brunette boy to every brunette and/or tomboyish girl
anyway. if you actually read all of this id love it if you lmk somehow (doesnt need to be a like) like this is clearly very long and strange but i hope it makes sense. i think i stop myself a lot from ever commenting on gender or theory or whatever but i am a living breathing trans person who has experienced things and i have opinions and i dont think im claiming anything destructive with this lol i think its not unusual to reflect on the way you interacted with the world as a gay/trans kid
also im obviously not saying that shipping straight things is somehow inherently queer, im not trying to retroactively claim something about straight ships, like, those two characters are still functionally straight, and i definitely also shipped probably all of them for normal shipping reasons (although, kid ones, so less “oh theres a lot of ACTUAL romantic subtext between these two” but rather “oh theyre friends and would be cute together!” (or like they kissed and i was like O: )) but im just trying to theorize about something its possible my tiny trans brain was trying to express- and who knows maybe im not the only one!
anyway i guess the TL;DR is: when i was a kid i had a lot of “unconventional” straight ships- i already observed that i eschewed the main canon pairings in kids media in what was probably my tiny baby brains rejection of hetero culture, but i also actively shipped side characters who looked like me, and also looked like each other (ie, both tall and brunette, a boy and girl counterpart of Each Other) OR characters who seemed to be a gayish boy and a tomboyish girl, and im theorizing that maybe the reason that was was my tiny trans brain wanting to gem fusion those two together because of my Gender Feelings and fuse the boy with the girl and this desire manifested in shipping therefore thinking about a lot these pairings of boy and girl counterparts
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toxic-tapwater · 4 years
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A few stuff about me bc I'm bored
Basics
⬇️
• name: Ariel
• relationship status: married/open
• sexuality: pan
• gender: fluid
• pronouns: mostly they/them for now
• birthday: 03/05
• zodiac sign: Pisces,
• hair colour: Black, purple, green, yellow
• eye colour: dark brown
• height: 5ft
• weight: uNc0mFoRtAbLe
SPECIFICS
⬇️
• what brand of shampoo do you use?: A Mexican one w camomile in it
• what are you currently listening to?: Lots of indie rock
• who were you on the phone with last?: my little sister
• how many of your facebook friends are active right now?: a lot
FAVOURITES
⬇️
• favourite animal: ferrets, cats, opossums, rats
• favourite colour: black, purple, yellow and green
• favourite drink: coconut water
• favourite periodic table element: potassium
• favourite food: vegetable soup
• favourite game: idk
• favourite show: friends, that 70s show, the nanny, fresh prince, new girl
• favourite movie: goodfellas, the twilight saga, pulp fiction, natural born killers
• favourite song: nasty gal - betty davis
• favourite school subject: english
• favourite fruit: mangos, prickly pear, guava
HAVE YOU EVER...
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• have you ever given someone a bath?: Yes
• have you ever smoked?: yes
• have you ever bungee jumped?: no
• have you ever made yourself throw up?: uNc0mFoRtAbLe
• have you ever skinny dipped?: yes
• have you ever been in love?: I fall in love with everyone I meet
• have you ever made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Yes
• have you ever pictured someone naked?: No that's gey
• have you ever actually seen someone naked?: yes
• have you ever cried when someone died?: never harder
• have you ever lied?: yes
• have you ever fallen for a close friend? Yes
• have you ever used someone?: yes
• have you ever done something you regret?: who hasn’t
CURRENT...
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• current clothes: still wearing a big op ivy shirt
• current desktop picture: default screen
• current cd in CD player: star fucking hipsters - until we're dead
• current dvd in dvd player: goodfellas
WHO'S THE LAST PERSON...
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• who's the last person you touched?: My mom
• who's the last person you hugged?: my mom
• who's the last person you kissed?: Some guy idk
• who's the last person you talked to?: Marceline Mycelium
• who's the last person you sexted with?: A couple of cuties
ARE YOU...
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• are you understanding?: yes
• are you open-minded?: yes
• are you arrogant?: i hope not
• are you insecure?: yes
• are you random?: sometimes but is anything truly random?
• are you hungry?: In a way
• are you intelligent?: depends what kind of intelligence, I’ll ace a test but eat mysterious berries I find
• are you moody?: sometimes
• are you organised?: Nope
• are you shy?: Big time
• are you difficult?: idk
• are you bored easily?: yea
• are you entertained easily?: also yes
• are you obsessive?: if I find something super specific that I really like it becomes my life
• are you angry?: Always it's what keeps me going
• are you happy?: I try to be
• are you hyper?: sometimes, usually just if I’m manic
• are you trustworthy?: yeah
RANDOM
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• in the morning: ??
• i dream about: if it's not a sex dream it's usually nonsensical
• when i'm into someone, i first notice: their sense of humour
• turn offs? If they don't have similar taste in music as me petty ik, if they nonprogressive,
• turn ons? Literally almost anything
WHO...
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• who makes you laugh the most?: myself, y’all know I’m funny, you have me on here for a reason
• who makes you smile the most?: My kids, my husband, my family and friends
• who gives you butterflies when you see them? Several cuties 💗
DO YOU EVER...
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• do you ever stay up all night and wait for a specific person to contact you?: I used to
• do you ever wish you were younger?: Always
• do you ever wish you were older?: no
• do you ever cry when someone's rude to you?: Only all the time
NUMBER...
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• number of times i've had my heart broken: too many times
• number of cd's: 8
• number of scars on my body: Tw self harm (self harm scars all over my arms, huge scar on my scalp from neurosurgery, scar on my nose bridge from a bullet, c section scar little scars on my abdomen from appendicitis surgery and gall bladder removal)
• number of broken bones: 0
• number of accidents you've been in: I've died multiple times and nearly died several more so too many to count
BASIC...
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🍃 day or night? Both
🍃 introvert or extrovert? Introvert
🍃 cubed or crushed ice? Crushed
🍃 comedy or drama? Comedy
🍃 veggies or fruit? Both
🍃 ice cream or frozen yogurt? Sorbet, I’m lactose free but I still eat chocolate bc I hate myself but love chocolate
🍃 summer or spring? spring
🍃 winter or fall? fall
🍃 cookie butter or peanut butter? peanut butter and honey 🤩
🍃 pancakes or waffles? Waffles
🍃 hot tea or iced tea? hot
🍃 hot coffee or iced coffee? both
🍃 smoothie or juice? Both
🍃 comfort or adventure? ADVENTURE but mostly comfort
🍃 Netflix or Hulu? Netflix
🍃 online or in-store shopping? Both but mostly ebay
🍃 left or right handed? right
✨ Obsession: currently the seven deadly sins and Hamilton
✨ Any bad habits: yeah the worsts are probably substance use and harming myself out of guilt
✨ How many pets do you own: none
✨ One weird thing you do: I can take my prosthetic eye out but so can a lot of ppl
✨ Do you like your name: currently have mixed feelings
✨ What color underwear are you currently wearing: I don't believe in underwear but then I do they're always black
✨ How many relationships have you been in?: Only one serious one since I was 14
✨ Ever been cheated on: several times
✨ Do you believe in long distance relationships: not for myself but for others sure
✨ Ever cheated: a lot when I was younger and dumber
✨ How many people do you trust: a few
✨ How many kids would you want: 4 I have 2 now
✨ Someone you find attractive: several cuties y'all know who y'all is
✨ Ever been heart broken: probably
✨ Why did your last relationship end: I've only been in one serious relationship
✨ do you regret taking this?: No I'm bored and sad
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