#this isnt even cycle 1 yet lol

[mortallycoiled]

first part of the mortally coiled timeline, covering the Creation Era. The Creation Era (or first era) is the longest era by far due to spanning from the formation of the Mortal Coil up the first death credited to Noxa Krov. i haven't nailed down the actual span yet, so it's not to scale (especially considering the time pre-main world life is a way way way WAY longer time span than the rest of the era. the little squiggle between the creation of the first sun and khetzal encompasses an impossibly long and practically uncountable amount of time.)

#worldbuild #mc #c1 #mortal coil history lessons #working on the destruction era timeline next #this isnt even cycle 1 yet lol #btw the eras are the creation era / destruction era / balance era / (REDACTED) era #aka i havent decided on what to name the last era yet

[kimmkitsuragi]

okie i know i said i will be full focus today, but im waiting for my laptop to update because Of Course it had to be at the moment when i needed her the most. so im just sitting here and watching an ascended astarion playthrough and [this got way too long so im putting it under read more]

??? seriously??? ascension only brings a more powerful bite and gaseous form?? that kinda feels weak in comparison to 7000 souls he sacrificed lmao. like in terms of gameplay, using the illithid powers for example presents a real dilemma imo. the powers ARE strong enough to justify your choices if you decide to go that path. but this feels lacking in terms of gameplay. maybe focusing only on the story and post-canon can justify it, but still i think not really? because you know, lore-wise, there ARE ways to cure the vampiric curse? like your only way of seeing the sun again isnt just killing 7000 souls technically. i also know that 1) they can't/don't have to implement all of these choices to the game because act3 is massive enough as it is (ie, i would rather see the improvement of already existing plot points and quests instead of adding more of them) and also 2) giving way more feats/powers etc to ascended astarion would create a Big power imbalance in the party which is not really fun - although im not very familiar with the other companions' "dark" endings yet (i only completed astarion shart and jaheira so far, im not even familiar with most of their "good" endings yet lmao 💀) so im guessing it Technically could be balanced with crazy power ups for all the evil bitches in the party? but idk?

what im trying to say is, this way, it kinda doesn't make sense how you can just pop a little tadpole in your head and gain insane powers. while sacrificing 7000 souls is what? just a new attack and an already existing spell? it feels kinda anticlimactic... maybe they shouldnt have raised the stakes that much then?? i know story-wise, astarion being finally "free" of cazador and his vampiric curse may sound satisfying, but then again when you look at the narrative, it seems to me he still is not free (still in the cycle of abuse yk) so ... idek what i would want as an alternative, but i was expecting a greater tradeoff as a player because that's the vibe the game keeps giving until you reach that point

(i know his dialogue changes a lot in two paths, which might be enough for some people but what aboutttt the power consistency of the universe and stuff lol... im that kinda person yk)

(btw im saying all this but Definitely want to have a run where tav looks kinda like cazador and then astarion ascends and makes tav a spawn so yehawww cycle of abuse really can be like a cycle sometimes)

#still waiting for my laptop to get herself together. so here have another rambling #playing bg3

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03, ep10 (part 1)

“ What to do? & how to do it? the answer & the method are so simple, so simple but difficult as hell. it was hard for me to get them, & that’s exactly why I treasure them/ makes them valuable”. kyo~ This is my favorite quote in all anime.

How many times a domestic abuse victim was told just leave this abusive partner? report them? easy. just make a call. Report your abusive parents? tell someone. easy. Just speak up. It is true. It is easy but difficult as hell. To believe it is your right to fight. No, to believe you deserve to fight. to Live. This abuse is not a punishment you must endure. Hope is not dead. How simple yet so difficult to do that. ugh! my heart!

- Seeing Death vs Facing Death: ( The abuser who was stopped):

Abuse is a form of slow death. An actual intentional murder of an innocent soul. Abusers suck the life out of their victims & kyo’s biological dad is the poster monster for that. His appearance:

thin deathly demeanor, lack of nourishment, excessive drinking, lack of desire get out of the abyss, wide eyes, tiny pupils, manic laughter. shaky body movement. pathetic outlook at things.

heavy breathing, lack of logic & distorted facts, blurry speech, bizarre mentality, toxic behavior, tendency to hurt, injure, both physically & verbally.

inability to grasp reality, desire for inflecting pain on others, finding joy in that as it justifies his entire toxic mentality.

Fear of being hurt like he hurt others & being paranoid since he KNOWS he should receive punishment.

Kyo stood watching this man spit, rage, shake, scream. The man from his past, the authoritative figure in his early tender years, the person who must always be right: a parent. Facing his dad, Kyo’s entire gradual change was fantastic:

Kyo went from feeling utter fear from this man, hatred towards him, grief at the loss of a father & a mother, to force himself to stand his ground & not leave” easy but difficult as hell“ , to talk ” easy but difficult as hell“ , to announce that isnt gonna die ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say I’m loved & I want to to be with someone ” easy but difficult as hell”

to then realize the source of his mom’s misery isnt him after all, but this jerk! & not crumble at this realization ” easy but difficult as hell“ to grief over his mom’s tragic life & still announce again that he’s anit throwing his life away ” easy but difficult as hell“ to still look at his dad with pity rather than immense hate & anger ” easy but difficult as hell“ to remove his hand & leave him behind in the past while he moves forward ” easy but difficult as hell“ to say “ i’ll come visit again, cuz I anit afraid of you anymore, I’m not running, but I’ll try to extend a hand if you wanna do the same one day. It is your choice to be the abuser who must be stopped or the one who is atoned! you can choose, dad! We heard his choice as kyo was leaving, didn’t we? locking himself in an eternal cage that he made for himself. After all, he is the monster in his own story by his own choice.

-Seeing death (1): Kyo watching his mom’s suicide is a traumatic experience especially considering she chose such a graphic way to exist this world. Kyo once said to tohru “ mom went flying”, he now said“ mom threw her life away” very graphic ways to explain her death both literally & figuratively. This alone coupled with his father accusing him, resulted in a 4 year old screaming” I’mma yuki & kill myself, this would make you happy, dad”. This explains kyo’s 2 meetings with yuki as kids“ I hate you” at the sohma estate, the 2nd meeting “ I hate you” at the street. Mimicking the toxic behavior of the dad. Why didn’t kyo mimic kazuma? cuz trauma doesn't work like that. Kids can live safely for time then one traumatic experience shatter their self-worth into an endless cycle of self-hurt, low self worth & anger issues or withdrawal. The writing that set kyo/yuki against each other is perfect.

-Seeing death (2): Kyo watching kyoko’s death hammers all the insecurities of child kyo deep down into teenage kyo. Kyoko too, went flying, blood everywhere. too much pain happening again, crashing hope & killing his fighting spirit over & over. Be with tohru? why? to kill her, too?

-Seeing death (3): Kyo watching tohru’s injured body. Yup. You caused this. not by pushing her or failing to catch her. No. but by hurting her with harsh words. by forcing her away from you.

-Facing death (1): Kyo facing his dad, the symbol of deadly-abuse. To stand & announce to live is huge. -Facing death (2): refuse death: being caged till death, -Facing death (3): To say, I wanna be loved & love someone, life is not just being outside, heck! kyo was outside for 17 years! life is abt being with those who give it meaning! -Facing death (4): To not demand others to die as a punishment. Walking away from his dad without igniting the cycle of revenge & hate. ahhhhhhhhhh~~~  Chef’s kiss!

-Seeing eye to eye: ( I don’t need to be you, but I appreciate you):

Kyo & yuki toxic relationship has been ongoing since their birth. The moment kyo’s dad was dismayed that he got the cat of all zodiac & the moment yuki’s mom was delighted she got the rat of all zodiacs. From that moment it became: look how lucky the rat parents? You shamed me? Look how pitiful that cat? eww! stay away from his filth. The explosive nature of kyo’s tragic fate tainted him with the blood of his mom & the daggers of his father’s hateful words, while the nature of yuki’s sheltered & locked fate tainted him with fear & isolation. They meet & both carry out the feelings of rejection & hate all while envying the other. The toxic nature of their relationship consist of fights & condensing words. Tohru connected both. Through her, they became civil. Even talking abt perverted shigure. Now that she is hurt, they are lost without her. Their lives are empty.

Yuki’s “ kyo has his own pain & reasons”  (to not see tohru) is my fave line! even better than all the epic lines after they confess their feelings. cuz this like happened before they connect. it shows that, I see his pain, I get he has his reasons. But whatever issues he have shouldn’t hurt tohru. this is when yuki interferes in kyo’s choices. For tohru. This is also when kyo really allows him to. For tohru. Had tohru nor be part of the fight, kyo wouldn’t even engage in it & yuki wouldn’t initiate it.

-“I wanted to be you!” : Kyo said it first. I loved this so much! Cuz kyo said I hate you first! it is so fulfilling that the truth is now out. From kyo first. Cuz really... that hate was all toxic inheritance from a toxic father & a toxic system.

- “Why do you have to say it firs!” Yuki was mad, cuz he was struggling with it for the longest time. to be kyo. He even mused on how kyo interacted with ppl in school, got himself his own mini kyo. lol. studied how kyo filled tohru’s world just by existing. yuki can't do that for tohru. he looked for someone whom he could do that for! yuki/machi scene at her house paralleled kyo/tohru scene at her room when she was sick (se01, e023) & when they eating the somen together (se02, e02), yuki/machi chalk scene paralleled kyo/tohru scene at the beach where he coaxed tohru to tell her mom’s story (se02, e07). Yuki really was having a hard time finding his true self & accepting it without needing to learn from kyo. It is hard to say “ i admired you” after being rejected by you! so kyo saying it first helped yuki say his after. Also, both boys were hella shocked they admire each other. Like both were deeply shocked! stupid boys! XD

Side Notes:

Kyo’s confrontation with his dad is furuba’s most powerful scene & most well-written one! From the fear of facing him, to talking to him with low voice, to physically stopping him, to the exposed last piece of locked memory abt the mother, to the freedom gained by walking forward! Heck, even how it was weaved psychologically to perfectly mimic children’s self-defense mechanisms & children copying their parents theme. The realistic depiction of abusers both in their most powerfully menacing moment & in their weakest cowardly moment. Top-tier writing! Hands down my fave furuba scene! Can’t ask for better! Can’t even imagine better! genius- writing Takaya-san!

The boys had a necessary fight & confrontation & the yuki’s entire speech was valid & perfect speech. However, as usual, I’m not a fan of how violence is depicted in furuba. I was actually “warned/ ordered” by an anon to not “ sh*t” on the boys fight scene. I don’t know why someone who’d read my reviews would think i’d have anything but love for both boys. I criticize the writing not the characters. Also, furuba fans have always been good to me, I state my opinion frankly & they talk to me! “ talk!”. You don’t have to throw virtual fists over different perspectives on fiction. Talking kindly does magic, also having different opinions is natural & normal for humans.

I love yuki so much, he’s one of my top faves in furuba & I get why the boys would quarrel & throw fists. I get the history between them, the current state of mind, their emotions & mentality & I get it’s fiction & drama that needs its “ OMG” moment. However, I cringe when I see violence used as a bonding moment in fiction in general. That’s just me. I wish the fight was done in a more artistic style without showing that scene where yuki corned kyo & punched him in full view of the screen. (again not hating on yuki nor the fact that they needed to fight). I’m jus saying I didn't need to see a one-sided beat up from a character I love to another one I love. That’s just me again~ feel free to enjoy this moment to its fullest. It’s fiction & I’m not judging anyone at all, nor hating anyone from real life or fiction <3<3<3.

Yuki’s last piece of character development is in my part 2 review! Along with machi. Also, yuki’s Japanese VA was awesome!!

Also, let yuki have deep various facial expressions!!!! ugh! In the fight scene they did yuki so dirty with his hair covering his eyes all the time! then followed by low quality shots of him breathing! Why?! The voice acting sold the entire excellent emotional rage more than the animation! Yuki can look pretty even when mad, heck! screw looking pretty! just give him deep facial expressions to mach his feelings! boy was hella mad like he never was his entire life! always forced to wear a mask or be diplomatic! now he’s screaming his lungs out, you hide his face??? really?? Sigh~ the anime always do this wit yuki, replace facial expressions with hair on eyes or having his eyes without light. I wanna see them expressive eyebrows so bad!!!

Another powerful VA performance was both kyo’s dad VAs! both the Japanese (with his excessive breathing) & the English VA (with his range). They sold the mad abusive character! they gave me chills!

Also, I sound like a broken record, but kyo’s both VAs did phenomenon in the dad’s scene & tohru’s scene. Honestly, I only watch the dub to hear Jerry! I learned his name & would watch the dub for him!

Akito, Arisa, Kureno in part 2 of my review as well.

Shigure/yuki returning home scene is call back to ep1. Ok, everybody loves a call back scene & the full circle thingy. but C’mon! you dont have to copy everything! the walk, the scenery, its purpose, dialogue & all! The anime really took advantage of kyo being missing. XD

Tohru’s dress/top color matches the color of kyo’s old hat (The hat). symbolic of him finding her? As if he did find her when they were children? cool. I love this detail. But i do NOT love this color on tohru at all !! lol. it is so dull on her. The dress style/ design mimics her same dress in se01, ep26 as she was talking to kazuma & kyo fought him. Their first intimate moment after nearly loosing the other. Heck! tohru was even hurt on her hand as well. but the color was a nice pastel yellow. It suited tohru. The hat’s bluish-greenish color matches tohru’s own pajama at home!!!! & kureno’s hospital pajama! T_T... why couldn't the hat be red!!!! a color that both represent kyo & yuki! both were compared to red before~ oh well~~ minor issue~

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #happy paper #final season #part 1

[itonje]

that’s fascinating because I know a lot less than you do and to me it seems

anti-lancelot agenda: the Victorians

anti-kay agenda: like... a lot of the major works

omg hi anon i dont know if you know less than i do but you probably dont i know like nothing im just here LOL youre good and fair warning for my arthurian mutuals or anyone else who reads this really this is going to be my own personal interpretation and not anything you should take as solid fact or analysis LOL also preface im not going to talk ab the prose lancelot here cause i havent read it and i feel weird talking about things i havent read LOL 

anyways i dont think that medieval works where kay gets humiliated or embarassed (which uh. is a lot of them lol) are really trying to say something about how they think kay is a bad person/awful character etc etc i think mostly he’s there for like. some form of comic relief? idk. i think he is certainly a punching bag character most of the time but in an affectionate way, while he does get pummeled a lot its not because the author is trying to condemn him for his actions because they view him as a bad person who needs to be punished its typically to be a. a foil for the mc (typically gawaine) so that their deeds look even greater in comparison (and even that isnt like..a constant imo like in the perilous graveyard kay is a foil to gawaine but its to rag on gawaines inaction and faults i digress) and b. said gag character. also kay has a lot of immunity in the texts lol, no matter what he does and how much he does suffer he does...always get out of it fine no matter what happens to him (see: him getting ragged on by arthur all the time esp in the dutch stuff but he never dies or is that severely harmed or anything even though he most probably should have) even on like..a grander arthurian ‘’canon’’ scale kay is almost always one of the characters to survive the strife of camlann and the fall of camelot so like. yeah. thisll make sense when i talk about lancelot and i will talk about him right now

anyways i think while lancelot is the hero of many romances and literature and who typically gets a more in depth look at his character than kay (but i also think kay one of the few arthurian characters with deeper characterization throughout multiple texts) i think that most of the time he is condemned by the authors even if he isnt said to be explicitly wrong in the text...like lancelot DOES commit many transgressions, far more serious transgressions than kay (while i do think that you are supposed to view knight of the cart as satiricalish/comical in genre awareness you know what i mean adultery is not the same as like cursing people out and then getting the shit beat out of you for doing that) and he DOES get ragged on by the authors for this even if he isnt ragged on in the text itself. like even chretien de troyes, the creator of lancelot (sidenote: do NOT debate me on who came up with lancelot it was de troyes it was him. this does not make lancelot not a valid arthurian character hes just a guy.) did not like him and while knight of the cart textually presents lancelot as a hero the author is condemning lancelot personally and metatextually in a way the author does not condemn kay 

and unlike kay, lancelot DOES suffer for these actions in the text, hes not immune in the same way kay is. in the post vulgate cycle and things based off it which i have actually read like le morte he cannot achieve the holy grail, him and guinevere’s affair (i will put this in big air quotes cause i actually have a lot of opinions on this but i will. keep them out sigh. anyways while i do think the authors of many medieval texts were not personally fond of lancelot i, phineas, am and i find his actions reasonable but this isnt phineasland so i digress) and his actions after the discovery of said affair ie killing all those people is what leads to the fall of camelot and the destruction of arthurs court. and lancelot is doomed to a life of mourning and repentance in the monastery, which i also think is a notable difference between him and kay in medieval texts: lancelot is typically forced to repent. kay is not. 

TLDR: while kay is typically ragged on and humiliated in medieval works more often, my opinion is that lancelot is condemned metatextually by the author and audience in a way kay is not. kay has a sort of immunity for his actions that lancelot (and to be fair, most of the characters in the story) do not. 

anyways to answer your note about the victorians cause imo they’re both two different things to talk about uhhh i really don’t get the vibe that the victorians disliked lancelot (im not really that deep into victorian stuff yet forgive me haha)! in fact, from what ive read and seen so far irt to art it seems to me like they actually were fond of him lol maybe even more than poor old chretien de troyes. (see: richard hovey, ea robinson, william morris all authors that seemed to write about lancelot often and really delved into and explored his character in depth, many times him as a sort of tragique hero)

 i think if the victorians had a conspiracy against any character it would be gawaine, he is very much reduced in importance imo and i think that DOES contribute to the wider western cultural perception of him nowadays ie that he isnt really that important/an archaic/minor character that only shows up in like. one text and we all know which text that is. 

to be fair i think the wider western cultural perception of lancelot is just like. medieval lit gawaine but blonde LOL anyways i dont want this to become a post about gawaine but yeah i think that from the victorian stuff ive read about lancelot they seemed to really get into him as a character and produce a lot of content for him (see, all the artworks he and gwen gets in comparison to other arthurian characters) so unless ive just been misinterpreting everything ive read wrong idk about most of them really disliking him, or even disliking him in the same way the medieval authors did. 

TDLR: i want to stan lancelot the same way that william morris stanned lancelot i want to depose him as the no. 1 lancelot fan 

anyways thank you for sending me this ask!!!! i got to think a little out of my gawaine box cause i usually dont focus on lancelot or kay and im glad i got to flesh out my feelings on their characters more cause of this 

#finny.txt #asks #anon #arthuriana #WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS A LONG ANSWER I JUST NOTICED AKSJLDGKL;DK SORRY

[yeehawren]

Top Surgery Recovery

So I had top surgery on the 11th May and its now the 14th May. Recovery has been a bit harder than I initially thought it would be. 

I am quite a sedentary person so sitting and laying down for long periods of time and keeping myself entertained is nothing new to me. Plus I also had a lot of things that I was worried about alleviated by my surgeon. For instance I did not have drains put in and I have waterproof plasters (which have been a godsend, my morning shower is the highlight of the day) So I didnt have to worry about not washing, potential infection risks, full chest plasters that become very itchy, skin rashes etc PLUS I opted for no nipples so I didnt have to worry about that (I want to be covered in tattoos anyway so it made no difference to me about having nips or not) I was already on a high protein diet before hand so I havent had to make any new food choices (I’m autistic so changes in food is a big anxiety inducer for me) I have been taking arnica + the food I eat is also high in fibre. Basically I thought I prepped for everything and tried to make this as smooth of a recovery as possible.  

So yeah lol what I am trying to say is no matter how much you think you have prepared, you don’t know how shit is going to work on you.

Heres a little list of the things that I am struggling with.  

Brain Fuzz. I had no idea how fuzzy my brain would be after surgery DAYS later. I find it really hard to focus on anything and as I am spending a lot of time sitting or laying down (except when I have to do my stretches and general pottering around) Its really easy for me to get frustrated and bored because my brain can’t focus. So I am really just sitting there day dreaming or dissociating. 

The fucking BINDERS. As someone with sensory issues, I could never bind fully, it would instantly give me an anxiety attack to have that much pressure on my chest. I could just about tolerate sports bras so I was worried about having to wear them for 6 weeks constantly post op. But I just told myself its something that I have to do and its only temporary. I hate it.   

Posture. Because of my binder my posture is terrible and I have so many knots in my back because of it.

Sleeping upright. I get sleep paralysis when I sleep on my back so theres also that I have to deal with for the next however many weeks until I can comfortable lay on my side. NOT FUN.

Pain. The pain isnt so bad, I have had my chest tattooed and I would say that its quite comparable to that. Just a little more bruise pain than burning CANT MOVE or my scabs will rip apart pain. It feels a lot more secure because of the type of bandages that I have. I have surprisingly good range of motion with my arms. But I would say bruise pain is more exhausting than that burning pain. plus the pain from my poor posture and sleeping upright. its just ahhh tolerable but frustrating.  

Weird chest tingles. It feels like theres fizzy bubbles under my skin going up and down my chest. Its a very odd sensation that I wasn't prepared for.

How weird and bloated my belly looks. I cant look in the mirror yet without freaking out about my belly. It looks so swollen and out of proportion. So I can’t  enjoy looking at my results yet without freaking out about that. 

Peeing a lot and trying to get comfortable, that is really frustrating. Being super tired, not being able to get comfortable and then getting just comfortable enough to doze off, only to need to go for a pee because you were told to drink lots of water to help with recovery. Then starting that whole cycle again. Very frustrating.

Feelings. Its very easy to feel really low when you’re hurting. I don’t regret my surgery at all. I keep reminding myself how I felt about my body pre-op and how long I have wanted this, how I am gonna feel when I have my final results etc. But its very hard to feel great about it when you’re this low. I know I will feel differently when I feel more like myself but it is damn hard to keep positive. I’m feeling very sorry for myself that I have to put it through this much stress in order to be happy. 

HELP. My mum is taking care of me, but... yeah its not great. The majority of things I do by myself. so far she has cooked me a couple of meals and helped me get undressed for my first shower. Everything else I have done myself. The first hour I was home I was left alone in the house with my bedroom door open and our large dog jumped onto my chest while I was asleep. No one was there to help me, and then later that night when I had literally just gotten my appetite back (I threw up so much post surgery) I asked for food and had to wait for ages for my mum to fill out one of our foster placements housing benefit forms for them ( something they could of done themselves and deffo something my mum could of gone back to after helping me out) And then when it came to the evening, they went to bed super early and really laid it on thick that she was exhausted so obviously I felt absolutely awful asking for help with my bedtime routine etc. So not only did I have to do everything for myself, I also had to sort the kids out and the pets out.  So yeah Day 1 of recovery at home didnt exactly set me up to feeling safe and taken care of so I have felt the pressure of taking care of myself. Things since then havent been great either so thats another thing I am struggling with. I feel like an asshole complaining about it but we prepared for all of this and it feels like so may careless mistakes are being made, promises arent being kept and I dont want to be the asshole that calls it out. I am very vulnerable right now and I feel really let down. I don’t feel like a priority which I was assured I was before the surgery. Which also ties into my low mood and feelings.   

So yeah, Long Post but I hope it can help prepare anyone else going for top surgery. 

Things should only really get better from here, the first 3-5 days are suppose to be the worst so I am told so lets fucking hope because this sucks sooo much. 

#top surgery #trans #non binary #enbies #enby #they/them

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

to the anon that sent me an essay, this is for you

to everyone else, idk what this is

from anon:

here are a few things ive thought of to an obsessive level but these are completely non-bts related so u can choose to skip it. hell, you knew u that already.

1. before becoming parents or after emerging into adulthood everyone should be sent to therapy. sometimes i question if it is to fill the gaps their childhood has blown wide open that adults have children. or is it to fulfill some moral responsibility they have to simply reproduce. if its the first, to think about it, is kind of fucked up. you are depriving your child a stable future, creating replicas of exactly what you suffered, if u are not stable yourself.

You know, probably. People have kids for a number of reasons, not all if them good. I am a product of such a cycle, generations that used physical and emotional punishment on their own children to lash out their frustrations in life. The easiest one to bully is the offspring you made, because they don't know any better. They think that's how life is, because that's how life always was. I suffer for it, all the time. But, you know, therapy does nothing if you don't want it. You have to be willing to listen to be helped.

Most people are not willing to listen or change. That's the big problem.

2. its sad how the whole ' one in a million ' concept is staring at me. haruki murakami said mediocrity is constant. that thought haunts me everyday becuase of how many people are just a sea of faceless creatures as the world decides which one is the outlier. its the scariest thing i have ever felt, but it is inevitable. mediocrity should be normalized. there is an exorbitant amount of pressure in youth to produce and create and every other teenager is doing mun and every other adult is in the medical field, but at the cost of what? sure, you just saved the world, but did you save yourself?

Everyone is in outlier which makes nobody special. Society has slowly but surely created the idea that people need to be better than others, the idea that "better" must exist. To want more. And why is that?

Money.

Why is everyone pressured to make a product? To monetize their hobbies? To "do work you love"? Why is this the ideal? Because someone wants to profit from you. Someone is always greeding for more, more, so they make you feel this need as well, feeding off your futile attempts to be the "prefect you" but the perfect you doesn't exist. Why is it that every outlier put on a pedestal feels disillusioned / pressured or greedy / selfish? Because you've been tricked, feeling sad and deflated that you can't achieve something that isn't real.

3. middle class. im part of it. we're probably the most entitled section of society there is. it is so amusing to me how we have basically everything we need to survive but always want more. its weird how the poorer sections dont have time to think about their lives at the stake of capitalist countries, while we're here thinking about everything in our day that has harmed us, complaining about shit that isnt even required to survive. my mind is bursting because im literally fucking typing / this / because i have the privilege to and im STILL . doing . it .

Entitled? Everyone feels entitled. Not just middle class. You think rich people don't want more? Pfft. Everyone wants more, simply because that's what were trained to think. Everything around us is always asking you to want more, tying your worth to what you have instead of what you are. Your worth equating to material possessions has been taught to you all your life from the media, all for the sake of profit. The worst is when they turn your own morals and ethics on you to monetize that as well.

4. i hope i dont forget everything that has ever happened to me. not because i'd want to hold it over peoples head. but because i really dont want to grow ignorant. i dont want to have hollow opinions and i dont want to live a life where its easy to be just as. i dont want to be in a herd of sheep.

You will forget. Neurons die all the time. It's a known fact memories get disorganized, remade, and blended with fantasy. You are organic, an imperfect machine. Even your memories are imperfect, only focusing on specific things and not the whole picture because human brains focus on what's important and not what is. This is a survival tactic and it's what causes you to polarize one way or another. Even you, telling me this right now, you are declaring "I want things to only be this way".

But, you know.

"Polarization is the ugliest flower in the world."

Your past and memory is not the only thing that shapes opinions. Agreeing with others is not being a sheep. Are you a sheep because you agree killing an innocent as a police officer is not okay? Sometimes ignorance is okay. You don't have to know everything. Sometimes it's better not to.

5. im really jealous of bts sometimes. its fucking insane. theyre so successful but they have and continue to endure so much shit from the world. passion. passion is the word i want to chop up and throw into a blender and smother in a fire. they have it. and i dont. they are so hardworking. its something ill never be.

They don't have to do anything. They can quit at any time. They choose not to for many reasons. You choose how much you can take and how much is too much. You chose who you are. There are many hardworking, passionate people you don't know, because they don't want to be known. Passion, hard work, these things exist in many forms, and not all of it is so exposed like it is with BTS.

And let's face it, not all of those things can be good. They said so themselves.

6. i think we should really stop saying 'well if u were in their place what would u have done'. we cant do what we havent been given the chance to experience. we cant think about what we wouldve done because we have lived our lives NOT doing it. i am living my life only one which way and there is no other way i can know yet.

We say this to help others realize that prespective is importamt. It is not about actually living it, but having the empathy to understand and see from another person's eyes. No one is asking you to be Dr. Strange and live all 5 million possibilities. You can think someone's actions / words are wrong but, in that moment, they didn't think that, either because they grew up a certain way or because certain things happened to them. You don't have to live the experience to have some level of understanding, even if imperfect.

im sorry for this brain dump , i dont really have anyone else im willing to talk to and i completly understand if u skip this. hope ur fine tho and taking care. love ur works !

I'm an INTJ. My brain never turns off. It's a curse. But thank you for enjoying my writing! Hope you liked this too LOL

[macklives]

alright, im actually kind of in the mood to unpack some stuff regarding karkat's character and the way alternia works actually, so i dont mind giving this a go. and while act 5 isnt completely finished yet (so this is an analysis post for act 5 up until page 2305), there is still more to explore, and im pretty sure i have a lot more to read regarding both karkat AND alternia. until then, i will give a general layout as to what i know so far and how i can expand this in a psychological way (especially considering i did my psych exam so my mind is FRESH from studying)

alright, starting with what seems to be the deal with the hemospectrum, theres a total of 12 blood colors. HOWEVER, one of those blood colors is a "mutant" blood which is unwanted in troll culture as it is, well, "mutant", meaning whoever has this blood will get brutally slaughtered. hurrayyy. im guessing it is even lower than aradia's rust blood, as she is allowed to live but is the lowest on the hierarchy triangle. meaning karkats blood is not even ON the hierarchy triangle and simply buried underground where they hope he stays. so its not exactly pleasant to be living in a society where everyone is trying to KILL you or at least keep you away from everything.

from what i remember, troll reproduction is a vital aspect in their culture, that everyone is forced to mate and drones will come by each house to collect the genetic material. this is mandatory apparently, and if someone were to object, they will be “culled" as quickly as they could say no. alternia seems to be really keen on the whole "blood and carnage" thing, which means their probable solution to anybody breaking the law, is to kill them on sight and just leave them there to rot - regardless of who they are and what families they comes from or have. trolls are free to kill whenever or whoever they please without any governmental repercussions. which means revenge upon revenge happens without any policy.

however this is very important when looking at karkat, because karkat may not be able to do the whole reproduction process (not that we necessarily want him to, im saying this in terms of how its mandatory for every troll and there will be a time when the drones WILL come for karkat). but as he is already a mutant and if they were to "collect" from him, they would find out his blood regardless of how he hides it. they will either cull him for saying no, or cull him for his blood. karkat, in this sense, is doomed regardless. which makes his character much more interesting.

and keep in mind alternia kind of sucks, because from the looks of it, trolls are constantly tested throughout their lives to prove themselves to society that they are allowed to live and survive. but ONLY if they are the strongest among them. alternia wants to become this fearful planet where the weak die off and only those proven worthy can stay to grow up and slaughter more of their kind until the world is nothing but blood thirsty strong murderers. im not too sure who is governing alternia but they can suck a dick if they think this is how good morals work. alternia only really has one way to solve things which is to kill those who question/fight back, OR to kill those who CANNOT fight back essentially. which puts all the trolls through a double edged sword where they cannot do anything but follow the guidelines given to them by troll's society and government, and try to survive as much as they can until then.

if i remember correctly, when it comes to the law side of things. if you look at it from terezi's introduction where she explains prosecutions with her plushies (lemonsnout ect ect i forgot the term for them lol), she said "you are guilty until proven innocent" which is the polar opposite of "innocent until proven guilty” used in OUR own society today (tho i guess we are by far the "good guys" in this situation, but we are far different than how trolls live their lives). anyways, what this means is that everyone dies regardless unless theres literal proof that they have not done the crime. even so i wouldnt put it past them to do nothing about their case even WITH proof. terezi even goes to say that technically there is no way to deal with the law on alternia, and most of crimes get solved through death. she even demonstrates this by how easily she hung the "suspect" and flipped a coin to determine his fate. however, even with the coin landing on the side of safety, where the suspect were to be released, she said "im blind remember i cannot see this coin" and essentially "killed" him. while terezi may have just been playing with her plushies, theres something we can take from this which dictates how their actual court cases are actually solved.

NOW, vriska (yes ik pls bare with me here, i will not make it about vriska but i do have a point here), from the last few pages i saw, can basically kill her friends in an instant, without any remorse. i can tell she sees this as the most "necessary" solution for her problems. i wouldnt say its for survival, but she does do it as a way to provide some sort of safety on alternia. she is a higher blood, and apparently the high bloods are known to kill whoever they please as long as its convenient. and since trolls have this whole fad of "killing the ones who cause you trouble so the problem is out of the way", she is wired to think its the only solution when threatened or when you dislike a person. 

god, she killed aradia because she wanted "revenge", because she wanted to get back at aradia for tormenting her with ghosts EVEN IF aradia did so because she threw tavros off a cliff in the first place. this may have worsened their friendship, KEEP IN MIND THEY WERE FRIENDS, but NEITHER, and i mean neither terezi/vriska/aradia, had any remorse if the other dies as long as there was a reason. in the story, vriska didnt care what happened to tavros because she disliked him, therefore becoming pretty bias over his fate. because of this attempt at killing, aradia didnt care what happened to vriska either, and neither did terezi. terezi sold her out to one of the most powerful beings on their planet, solely because of their revenge cycle. as long as the troll in question did something "malicious”, then that plays a factor in their morals. vriska gave no second thought to killing both of her friends (or at least attempt to with tavros), terezi also tormented john in act 4 which led to his “doomed timeline death” and sold vriska out after she realized vriska wouldnt change. so no fucking WONDER karkat tries to hide who he is, he's overly cautious to not let it slip out because even the people he calls friends could backstab him at any given time considering theres LITERAL EXAMPLES OF THESE TROLLS HAVING DONE SO.

to karkat, he sees this as dangerous, which is why he even CALLS vriska dangerous to begin with. she might not even hesitate to kill him herself or maybe sell him out to the drones, because 1. she may not want to be a witness to something society actively seeks to destroy and 2. she cares more for her survival than karkats. EVEN if they were friends (re: aradia and vriska and terezi). so it just shows. 

on that note, i find it funny how karkat indirectly distracted vriska after she baited him with the question of his blood in a past conversation, which prompted karkat to monologue about troll romance. he was, yes, VERY interested in this topic to start with, but it was a nice little bonus for karkat as to not be found out by the one person who would most likely kill him even if it wasnt on purpose. however, we do not know how this will play out IF she does find out, we just know karkat is in the right to be scared of the theory.

and, alright i do have to mention this, while karkat may have been an angry fucker to START with, who spites the world and throws out insults every chance he gets, i feel he does this as more of a survival instinct as well. he doesnt care what he says to people no matter what they rank on the hemospectrum. they dont know his blood color so he feels he has some sort of immunity, but he just needs to keep it hidden. it also may just be his personality, as he IS a character who was given specific traits and andrew went along with it without so much thinking about plot. yet if you look at this from more of the metaphorical route, think about it with uhhhh lets say the perspective of how dogs work. for example, when you put a chihuahua next to a doberman, a doberman is more of an excited, energetic dog whereas a chihuahua will rain hell down on anybody who so goes near them. sometimes this is to make up for their size, to seem as menacing as the larger doberman, as they have nothing else to fend themselves with. another way to look at it is, if you see a bear (i forget if its black/brown or grizzly) you make yourself seem like the bigger person by scaring it off with sounds and eventually it will leave you alone. these sort of tactics work in the sense of survival. this is sort of what karkat could be doing, he uses insults and a defensive shouting to not really "hide" himself, but to have some sort of way as to not be found out if people start to question. someone asks him "hey karkat whats your blood" he goes "FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, END OF STORY" which could make a person go "yo sorry dude forget i ever asked". so this could be a factor as to why he is so crabby, however on the other hand, he is crabby because that is also his character. andrew probably thought yo cancer = crab = crabby. however i do like how he is perceived and the whole "mutant blood" really made me do a double take on how he views life himself. he has to always hide who he is or he will get physically killed. alternia would take joy in finding out he does not belong there because lets face it, alternia is a bitch of a planet.

this also brought me to ask the question, why does karkat want to be a leader if hes so scared of what would happen to him if he were to be found out? which then, at first i said lol this is just karkat, he wants to a leader because he just wants to be the leader, he likes when things go to plan and that he the most say in their sburb plans considering he thinks everyone else is a "dumbass". to which, i then thought about it more and went ouch what if hes a leader because he knows hes not valued enough in society, that he somehow wants to feel some sort of importance in the world, so he wants to become a leader. i imagine younger karkat, not knowing why his blood is so undermined, finding out he is not wanted and suddenly on the most wanted list without having even DONE anything. even TAVROS said he was on that list, but only because he was weak and had no back-bone, here karkat may have been strong but no matter what, he was to be culled BECAUSE of his blood. something he cannot change no matter what. imagine a little kid knowing he will die at any point because of who he is (rlly sounds familiar if you think about it). so of course, he hides himself from the world, but do you think for an instant, little angry karkat wants to simply be FORGOTTEN about? i doubt that, he wants to be heard, he doesnt necessarily want to be rejected as he knows he will be, so while he does hide his blood, he wants to have a voice no matter what. when being a leader, people dont reject you, they LISTEN. they all may not want to because karkat is just a fucking ticking time bomb, who can lash out at any second, but i feel theres now a reason why he has this superiority complex. he wants to sort of become the person he knows he never will become (if you put it into that perspective). so thats kind of why im giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

i would also like to point out a sort of.... comparison?? not with the dogs but with unwanted children in a family household. this doesnt necessarily apply to karkat, but sub in family household with society and it might as well. (on that note, a warning/viewer discretion, if you have any problem with this kind of discussion, i wouldnt read further into this paragraph and skip to the next one) alright, the unwanted child psychology basically deals with the process of a child which is neglected by their parents, and/or know that they were never wanted in the family. i read an article a while back when we were discussing this in a lecture, we were browsing multiple people's perspective on the matter, and one said "An affective relationship may be suffocating to [the unwanted/neglected child]: it’s a defense against intimacy of which they know nothing. Normally they fluctuate between egotism and deep feelings of inferiority. They don’t understand what a balanced and healthy self-esteem looks like." it explains how the child who grows up in an unwanted home admits great emotion deprivation, because the child's bonds of affection are extremely fragile, and this can lead to both egotism and feeling like they are inadequate. and it really strongly shows karkats personality. we havent gotten that much from him in general, but considering how he uses this egotism to cover up the fact that he may be doomed, really shows the similarity. i liked this short article so i want to give some points to take into consideration, specifically this part: "It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy relationships of affection in their adult life. Love is a foreign language to them. They don’t know how to decipher the codes and much less how to build them. It’s very hard for them to need and to be needed. That’s why, more often than not, they completely shirk their conflicts with peers and superiors, or do nothing but generate them. They speak incessantly about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in the world. A person with such a background will need help to get through those abysses of love that live in their heart. The most important step is that they recognize that their discomfort doesn’t depend on who they are, but the circumstances that led to their being." it may not be 100% tru for karkat but theres a small portion of it that can link back to karkats view on life and how being this mutant can really change who he is as a person. and i hope you can see the similarity between karkats character and this form of psychology. yet i also do not fully know the depth of karkat vantas. however i do hope it continues to build up in this way, as it would be both interesting and make us feel more for him as a person.

alright, i think if i write any more i will never stop aghjsk, which is a bit too much for a sunday afternoon, basically to sum up this post, trolls are violent and karkat will be killed if hes found out, even by his friends if it comes down to it. so karkat cannot really trust anybody, hes alone and imagine the thrill he had when he saw jack cut his hand to show the bright red blood? that he finally has someone LIKE HIM. imagine when he finds out about the kids. so i believe in his growth, while he needs to get a better vocabulary, i do get why hes so defensive all the time. because hes both scared and unwanted. and he wants to make up for it.

and i guess with all that being said, you can tell i now have a slight soft spot for the kid lmao

#hs95 #hs95 ask #anon #ask #analysis #i may not have it FULLY understood yet but thats my perspective of karkat vs trolls society

[coralstudiies]

Apart from selective hearing, how do u try and not be put fown by ppl like yr family and annoying ppl at sch, and focus on ur studies n be happy at the same time? It was easy in my younger days, now it requires substantial effort. How do b mentally happy n free, n be productive and study well too? Everyone thinks I can't make it to a junior college.

well for those people at school i’ll suggest outright ignoring them. by giving them a response you’re ‘rewarding’ their behavior and thus they’ll feel like continuing to do/say nasty things. as for parents, don’t argue or talk back (u know the drill lol sometimes its better to shut up) and just take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself.

tbh to be happy and free is like,, it rly lies in adjusting your own mindset bcos face it these kinda trash ppl are everywhere so you will never be in an environment in positive vibes only. sometimes you need to let go and i cant rly teach you how to do that bcos i think its smt that ppl have to learn for themselves.

now one issue you may face is worrying about such people and such comments. I’d say if this affects you, learn to guard and use your time. don’t spend like 1 hr dreading the moment when you have to meet/interact with them because that means your brain isnt focused and even worse, you’re trapping yourself in a perpetual state of tension which isnt good for your mental health. rather than letting negative ppl cloud your mind, try to strike up positive conversations with people around you, or just think happy thoughts or listen to your fav songs. it can be hard, but that’s because it’s not a habit yet. think of it as ‘trading’. whenever a negative thought enters your mind, exchange it for a positive one. it doesn’t even have to be related. for example: ‘oh man, felicia’s talking shit about me again’ turns into ‘hey, the weather’s pretty nice today!’ or ‘i feel like drinking bubble tea, i’ll get one for myself later’. make it a habit! it’s difficult but also rewarding. not just for your mental health, but also your grades (you wont be thinking about nasty ppl while you’re doing math problems which is already nasty enough HAHAHA)

another tip to counter negativity is to refocus your thoughts around these ppl. pay attention to and observe how your thoughts and mood change near these negative individuals. notice the telltale signs in your own brain that they’re going to ruin your day. and then squish it! it’s easier to think ‘ok, i know that nagging/horrible comments are inevitable, but rn i have a task at hand so i will not give it any thought’ if you know that you’re gonna start reacting to their presence. i assume you’ll be around such people most of the time, so in those periods of time, the less time you spend fretting, stressing and rehashing, the more time you’ll have to devote to actual productivity. it may be painful to directly tackle your negative thoughts (even more so when negative ppl are in the vicinity) but this one is rly crucial if you wanna get your work done. note the difference between this and the first: the first is when you find yourself worrying about such ppl even when you’re not around them, the second is when you have no choice but to be near them. also the second one has no ‘trade’ of thoughts so that you don’t distract yourself. learn which solution is the most appropriate for each scenario! you dont wanna compromise your productivity,

of course, you can always seek out positive people who genuinely care about you and love you and support you. at least your mind wont always be clouded by negativity, harsh, rude or discouraging words, and that might motivate you to study harder. 

like i said a lot of it is in the mind. you need to learn to let go -- of those ppl, their words and of yourself. like seriously i think it’s more important to let go of yourself. the more you torture yourself by letting them get to you (because these ppl will always be trying to get to you, and you rly have to try to not let that happen ok? i know it’s hard but tell yourself you’re a strong lady/man and your capabilities are not determined by someone else’s idea of you) the more you’re never gonna get out of this vicious cycle of self-pity. so start now, take things lightly, have a routine, form positive, self-care habits and then you’ll be on your way to better days and better grades  :^)

(anon im so sorry, i rly have not much ideas on how to help you because i relied a lot on this selective hearing so much that i numbed myself to negative and positive ppl lol HAHA but im sure you’ll be able to go JC ok! work hard and never give up! have faith! and if u need help you can always dm me or send asks)

#coralstudiies #asks

[robynsheart]

2019, thank you but definitely next.

2019 has definitely been really weird. I think what's even more weird about it is how, just a second ago it was January and now we're bidding goodbye to it. It feels like it was an absolute blur and as much as I'd like to claim that I was fully present and really living my best life, I did most things just so I can say iv done them. It was fun, I won't lie but I sometimes wonder if the intent was ever really pure. Nonetheless I needed this year for healing, I never thought I would be able to get back on my feet, I'm not fully back but just regaining something within myself that I feel I had lost. Something as simple as humor and just the lightweight feeling of not taking life too seriously - I could also credit that to wine😂 but you get what I'm saying.

Another weird thing about 2019 was how I couldn't hide my own vulnerability to myself. As someone who is really open and about self awareness, I am really not about vulnerability. I would often look at how vulnerable my mother is with me with judgment, to some extent it reflected how I think people respond when you are vulnerable. I am afraid of becoming to vulnerable with people because of judgment obviously, but this year my entire self started a process without my permission to ACT OUT when I try to hide how I feel. Every negative feeling that has gone unnoticed or even ignored has manifested itself in ways I couldn't even imagine and iv experienced so much hate and anger that iv never experienced in my entire existence. I don't know how to fully process the negative things which are bound to happen in life yet, I think in the past my way of dealing with anything was pretending it wasn't there so now I have to actually face the music and deal with things. I do it at a very premature level, but I hope this is something I can work on as the years go - building up a good ass communication with some vulnerability. The messed up part is the idea of also not being vulnerable with myself, it's honestly shooting myself in the foot. I can't figure out how I feel like I am also an enemy and hence can't become vulnerable with myself - I have endured so much judgment and hate from myself without realizing it and it's crazy that spirit and soul that hosts all my experiences s till won't feel safe even in its own home.

I have discredited whatever it is that I have needed to say or which ever move that I needed to make with just a "uh nope that's not your lane". I think it's very important to have moments of vulnerability with yourself so that you can share it with other people, so when a vulnerable moment has to happen with someone else it doesn't feel so foreign in your spirit.

My spirit this year has felt exhausted more and more with each day. I keep thinking it reminds me of the time when I was in Highschool and I was literally in the passenger seat of my own life. Highschool was weird because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing and I kept going and going. It created a monotonous vibe in my life and I was in a space where I was just getting by and always promising myself better but never showing up for myself. There's a vivid memory of me sitting in church during a sermon and having the thought that I'd start reading the Bible more from the coming week, did I ever? NO! I find myself literally in the same damn cycle. I used to read a lot and I just outgrew the habit but I find myself wanting to go back to reading, I set myself up for such a fail because I know I won't be in that mood but I keep selling myself dreams about becoming that person. I am always tired and never really want to honour some of the stuff I say I will do because I just don't hold myself accountable. I genuinely hate being in the passenger seat of my own life when I know there is something I can do but won't do because I am demotivated and lazy,it's a sad space to be in.

There has been good too about this year, I'm just not sure I am in a position to recognize it because it's not the form that I would have it you know? The silent blessings that we don't recognize because we are overlooking them to see if your cup is being filled with the same shit as your neighbor or friend. I think when everything has felt like the biggest exhaustion it becomes hard to recognize something which is a blessing, I remember telling my friend that it's weird how I alway think that I will only start living or become happy once iv reached certain milestones in my life and at that time, relationships (romantic) was number one on the list. I don't remember what the second was but there we're two specific things which I felt that if I had to have, I then would become happy or have everything that I have ever wanted in life, which my dear is so fucked up. If anything after that statement, and getting into a relationship shortly thereafter I need to realize how miserable I was trying to carry another human being who didn't need to be carried. We sacrifice SOMUCH just to have what other people, because it looks glamorous but it isn't always. The relationship I entered into after that statement was one of the Worst I had ever been in, listen if you need to go the movies take your friends. Develop friendships, develop actual relationships with people so you know people and people know you. The shit that's going on right now regarding relationship is genuinely the GHETTO and no one can convince me otherwise. We're literally trying to piece together items with weird stuff, there seems to be no genuine care for the other person or even respect. Another thing is that people don't really know each other and people don't really like each other that much. It's all based on some superficial aspect and honestly for me it cannot be physical because (1) Cute niggas are never attract to me (2) I am never attracted to cute niggas lol. Whoever I date, I date based on personality, but that still isn't enough. There are some very fake bonds that we have with people out here that are very dangerous.

I know from my side that Iv tried to make homes of human beings, and in the year where I have struggled so much with adapting to loosing friends and having people leave my life (growing up). I have tried to make a placemat with other human beings just trying to fill up this empty space which once was friendships and sisterhood. The most painful honestly, you know when you fight with someone and you loose them, it almost justifies how you feel and where you can direct your anger towards but when someone outgrows you or moves on to a totally different path, it's a bit weird. You don't know how to fathom that type of loss, because that person is still there and probably loves you as much but has just moved on. It's the biggest mindfuck, and I found myself saying to myself way too many times that you cannot posses people, you can only experience them and that's what happens. I have been struggling to find a positive way of moving on, I almost feel as though my body knows war only and recognizes war only and therefore even in situations where there isnt war, I don't know how to love and bless that person without feeling sometype of betrayal. Realizing that person still wishes you great in life but not knowing how to receive because they have decided to leave you (in your head). It's like I only know how to comprehend love if it is a certain way and if it's not in that way then it feels like rejection. My thing now has been wanting to get over that person as if they have hurt me, and I think we owe people that sense of freedom and liberation. We cannot hold on to people like that, I am trying to find a way to understand what has happened without being angry, without judgment and obsession by just letting that person go (if that's what meant to happen).

I don't know if the walls I have built have made it difficult for me to love other people without reservation. I think about how difficult it has become for me to full celebrate people that are in my life without feeling like my own shine is being restraint. I often think about how my self love/hate shows up immensely in very narcissistic ways and then quickly inferior. It's so crazy how this cycle works, it's obviously an ego thing but wow. I genuinely either love myself in a narcissistic way or I am hating myself to wards inferiority. There's no in-between and there's no healthy love, hence sometimes there isn't even a healthy love for others. It's always about me, not too sure why but to some extent the idea of my own insecurity and an unsettling image of self is what pushes through. I don't get the idea of becoming jealous and hateful of friends because they have something you don't have or even the idea that someone is prettier or gets more attention that you do. These are things which happen in life, actual things and I sometimes feel like it takes away from the bigger picture because we are so self absorbed. It's focusing on the small nitty-grittys that have nothing to do with anything. I almost feel like as person you don't have anything going on for you in your life or something to focus on that becomes your only win, which is the really ridiculous but very valid. Focusing on so much more of your wins puts you in a better place I guess to recognize other people's wins. In a perfect world we're all winning but in reality we all win at different points in our lives and really have to acknowledge when someone else wins.

It's not always easy to praise someone else's win, especially when you can't recognize your own or even praise your small wins. The idea of not being able to praise some of my friends wins has made me feel like a terrible person but I have to understand that I am battling an inner ego, this one girl said that you need to love yourself enough to want see yourself win or something like that and I think my shadow believes still believe in playing small and hence there's this huge constraint towards me being the highest version of myself. But this isn't the person I want to be for the rest of my life. I don't want to be hateful and salty about seeing people achieve things that they have worked hard for, that's not a healthy space to be. I don't know if as human beings we could ever be fully happy for each other but I want to try and attain that space, believing that maybe my portion is waiting for me :)

[thathopelessromantic]

fandom asks 1, 14, 24

1: favorite fic you wrote this year? - (according to ao3 i wrote 25 fics this year which is just…wild so um…this is hard to choose) I guess its probably either Get Some, or maybe To Welcome You Home? I had a blast writing Get Some (even this last chapter that is driving me crazy) but I’m also so weak to family fluff ¯\_(ツ)_/¯…but uh…this was harder than I thought it would be

14: a fic you didn’t expect to write? - um any of the prompts i got from @lesbianakari were a surprise honestly but especially the shlav ones…those definitely were not fics i ever would have written on my own and i still can’t totally believe i wrote them lol

24: favorite fic you read this year? - this is so hard to pick! i read way too much fanfiction to remember this! um I dont think i can name a singular favorite but a singular favorite from my main fandoms rn:

just come to me once by laallomri (voltron, klance, T) which i just realized is now updated/complete so i need to go finish that asap bc it was exactly the post s6 voltron i needed. the klance is so soft and good but there is also some actual development for keith and krolia that we were totally skimped on in canon and their travels in space were far more what i expected b4 they go to earth than what we actually got 

journey to the past by aloneintherain (bnha, class 1-a feels, T) makes my heart feel so warm and full even in the more heartbreaking moments like izuku’s friends being “imaginary” bc they! all! love! him! so! much! (and this is cheating bc this is abt a whole series and journey isnt even a part of it, but aloneintherain’s entire see it all in bloom (T) series is iconic and what i consider post-canon now until proven or convinced otherwise)

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again by katherynefromphilly (bbc merlin, merthur, M) this was such a good conclusion for the series set in modern day with amazing OCs and it felt so much like a story of its own i wanted to print it out and curl up with it like it was a real book

and last but not least

The Chronicles of the Virgin Asahi by Ellessey (haikyuu!!, asanoya, E) my hq obsession comes and goes and my latest bout of it struck about a month ago and ive just been scouring ao3 for daisuga fics i hadn’t read yet or rereading old favorites when i stumbled upon ellessey’s work and read 90% of it in like a week and reminded myself in the process how much i love other ships in hq as well (but chronicles also has some adorable daisuga and the family dynamic between daichi suga and asahi is my favorite thing in the whole world the 3rd years are my absolute favorites from the original series and they had such a good dynamic here with such wonderful writing it was literally a blessing to stumble upon this fic)

….i have so many more i actually still want to talk abt but i am restraining myself for the sake of this ask and bc i have other things i need to be doing lol

#ask #ask meme #thetolkiengeek #fics #writing #fic recs #voltron #klance #bnha #bbc merlin #merthur #haikyuu!! #daisuga #asanoya #fic: get some #fic: growing up aint what it seems #rita writes #thanks for asking!!!! #<3

[thejudahite]

Yall already have your position thats why you cant see it. It should have said it became. It became evening. For that to happen there had to be light. So before you jump to Genesis 1:5 re-read Genesis 1:3. If your so confident then just go thru the scripture again. The hebrew and the precept. We dont precept english lol we precept the Hebrew. The Hebrew is: וַיִּקְרָא אֱלֹהִים לָאֹור יֹום וְלַחֹשֶׁךְ קָרָא לָיְלָה וַֽיְהִי־עֶרֶב וַֽיְהִי־בֹקֶר יֹום אֶחָֽד So the second part of the verse does not really mean that an evening and a morning comprise one day; it means- that it became evening, then it became morning, and that marks the end of the first day, day one. Evening is part of the day. Its the time when the sun has started its decent and isnt completely gone yet. When the sun is completely gone then it is night. Its doesnt go light to night. There is a transition period. For it to become evening means the light had to be out. Vs 1:3 says the first thing he did was create the light and called it day, and after he finished working it (became evening and it became morning) and they were(past tense) the first day. A new day has now started when the suns cycle has completed 24hrs. https://www.instagram.com/p/BsLNjcZHcPy/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=bqhkhhqfvo4g

[somuchkdrama]

Bride of the Water God Ep1 Pt 2

Several hours later, when dramajib is finally catching up...

The Beginning

dramajib: *just started watching* 2 minutes in I just want to say this looks set to be visually AMAZING

rockinghorss: Yes. It's ridiculously beautiful.

triangularlily: Whoever was in charge of the lighting and the coloring did like such a good job

The End

dramajib: Im almost at the end where hes all "yo i wasnt gonna do this but you leave me no choice" and his servant is all "nuuu dont do it"... He’’s going to kiss her isnt he? This is going to be awful i can tell

rocknghorss: 😂

dramajib: UGH. I knew it ughh

rocknghorss: You knew it was coming.  Doesn't that lessen the disgust? 😊

triangularlily: I just hope this isn't used as a one time thing it would be funny if he went around "awakening" different people lmao

rocknghorss:  Lolol

dramajib: omg that would be beyond hilarious

Finally starting a conversation proper

Habaek / Nam Joo Hyuk

rocknghorss: You know, I really think that the whole thing in the manwha with Habaek being a kid during the day and an adult at night would've made episode 1 a whole lot funnier?  I don't know how that would've worked out logistically tho...

triangularlily: I think it would be super interesting but I feel like it's dangerous territory? Like kdramaland already has a lot of issues with age differences. I didn't read that far into the manwha so I don’t know like how they developed it is all I meant

rocknghorss: Good point! I feel like his over the top arrogance would've been just so much better suited to a snooty 11-year-old, rather than someone who appears to be a grown man. But, it'd also depend on where they took the story originally too.

triangularlily: Ugh that is really such a good point that arrogance would fit so much better. I'm hoping it's a temporary like fish out of water lol or god out of water

rocknghorss: Lolol hope so! I never thought I'd say I want to see a child actor rather than Nam JooHyuk on my screen.  😎

triangularlily: Lol he doesn't seem like a complete asshole so I'm hoping this'll be a chance for character development or something

rocknghorss: Probably so yeah. I mean they wouldn't just let him be like that throughout the whole show… you know now that I've typed that I am remembering so many kdrama male leads that started and finished as assholes.

triangularlily: Haha yeah... but it seems with him like a surface thing like he just sees humans as beneath him and hopefully his perspective will change

rocknghorss: Most likely it will :) Maybe that's the point of the gods having to go to Earth in the first place? To  learn some humility?

dramajib: *finally caught up* I'm totally with you guys on Habaek's character. He seems like your typical stuck up bossypants who hasn't realized what it's like for us lowly plebs, but actually has a heart of gold, and just needs to learn how to think beyond himself. Like he's totally got potential to turn into a sweet ole softy

rocknghorss:  :) I hope you're right!

dramajib:  I love his extremely dramatic flourishes during this phase of not-yet-adapting to the human world - and I like how they make his being a god the reason behind how quickly he adapts. It gives the show an excuse to have him doing fun goofy things like skateboarding (??? what is that preview for the next episode???) but hopefully also means it won't get dragged out too long

rocknghorss: Skateboarding? I totally did not see the preview apparently.

Shin SeKyung/ So Ah

dramajib:  With Shin Se Kyung... I'm actually really pleasantly surprised with her character. I've only liked her in sageuks so far, but I think the fact that this character isn't over-the-top bubbly really helps. It makes me curious about what she's like as a person, because maybe she's actually super low key and unhyper, and that's why she doesn't play bubbly very believably? Like she looks SO GOOD. From that first scene right up to the end, it's ridiculous. And her positivity comes across as genuine and real, rather than unbelievably chirpy, you know?

triangularlily: I'm interested to see how she will develop too cause she seems a little down in the dumps at the moment

dramajib: Yeah, I'm hoping that the fast forward at the start isn't a suicide thing, and just her jumping in the water to get some loving on cos, water god, yadda yadda. Also I somehow had not realized In Joo Hwan was in this show. I'm excited to see how this plays out. I haven't got a hold on his personality yet, but I like how they set up the first meeting between him and her. Like it's not particularly new or groundbreaking, but it didn't feel like the same old tired cliche somehow? Maybe the whiny nurse helped. I mean... I know he's supposed to be whiny but omg he's SO WHINY

triangularlily: This is unlikely but I was hoping her jumping in the water is her going to the other world

dramajib: ooo interesting possibility. I suspect he ends up staying in the human world for ages and ages tho. Like maybe 7 cycles of red water (what even was that) is like 70 human years.

triangularlily: Ah good point they did say it would be for a while. Lol

Next Up: Bride of the Water God Episode 1 Part 3

#bride of the water god #habaek #shin se kyung #nam joo hyuk #im joo hwan #bride of the water god episode 1 #smk: the discourse #bride of habaek

[askdurianrider]

YO response to bonnyrebeccas tumblr about rt4 & your advice??

1. Im glad that Bonny answers some questions but it doesnt look like her energy is that good because she only answers a handful of questions per week, uploads every now and then and just seems to sit around watching repeats of The Lion King. When she was carbing up she was traveling around, doing more content, got her book out and was HEAPS fitter than she is today. 

2. I base my advice on results. Im performance focused. If someone claims they feel better or worse then we look at what performances they did on certain diets/mindsets and then check them today or vice versa. I was talking to Bonny the other day about certain things. It was a long conversation but I didnt ask these questions. Maybe she can elaborate more? I know when I added in more daily fat over 100g that my legs felt really ‘blocked’ on the bike the next day and trying to hit 400w for 5 mins just felt impossible. I also felt more attraction to stimulants like caffeine etc. Like a daily attraction just to do everyday stuff that doesnt even require stimulants! xD

3. Bonny didnt give us any specific cal, carb or fat intakes so it is a bit confusing to the viewer what exactly is different? Was it more cals, more fat grams and less cals or eating at different times of the day and how are we measuring performance gains or losses? 

4. Ive been coaching friends on fitness since 1996. Started as a PT in the gym back in 1999. I worked in sports footwear and cycling industry for many years. FADS come and go and industry makes xyz claim BUT Ive learned to sniff out what real results are and what is just fake. Nike claiming their shoes are faster when we know they are being worn by doped athletes just is bullshit. Put those shoes on the average punter and there is zero objective performance increase lol.

5. Give me anyone and I will turn them into their fittest self. Tori is fitter now after just a few months of playing around on the bike than when she was at the sports institute for rowing and guided by professional state coaches. Granted she lives with me so I can monitor her biological read out every hour of the day and adjust diet and training accordingly but you get the picture - Im not bound by institution or government ‘guidelines’. I have freedom to experiment and show people the results. Some people like to pretend that Im ‘fixed and bound’ to my own guide lines but Im not. Ive eaten so much vegan junk food on camera, experimented with steroids etc and poured 300g of sugar onto a 500g packet of kellogs sustain cereal to show people ‘how it affected my blood values in a negative way’ (it didnt and I had one of the strongest rides of my life the next day)

6. I know so many crew who claim to eat one way but eat another way because they are scared of losing customers. I know so many people who still have raging eating disorders and they hide it under ‘allergies’ etc. (Just to be clear Im NOT saying FL or Bonny had ED, in my honest opinion they don’t and living with FL I can honestly say she does eat a lot but when snacking on fatty stuff, she will limit it heavily but try a small amount).

7. Many people say some of the skinny girls on youtube etc have ED and whilst that may be true for some, it isnt true for the people that I promote. As soon as I hear wind of someone starving, Im all over them and making sure Im not promoting their bad example. Fuck man, life is hard enough without trying to get thru the day glucose exhausted and undercarbed AF.

8. I could get Bonny so fucking fit and toned. Bonny hasnt coached anyone to incredible results. I mean she could if she used my program and so could FL but neither girls do coaching and if they do, they are only parroting my template and Im not going to sue them for that haha.  Im SO happy people spreading the high carb vegan word man! I mean Bonny going to give a refund for all those people who bought her high carb book? Stephanie? Freelee? Don’t think so bro. 

9. People change, beliefs change. Human physiology laws dont though. Give me ANYONE and I can have them earning good money on social media, have them the fittest they have ever been (drug free) and have them more relaxed and confident about themselves and life than they ever thought was possible. Also they will NEVER have to worry about getting fat ever again! 

10. To be objective critiques people need to read my 2 ebooks. Some say I recommend this or that but what I rate is in text and in my 2 ebooks. I recommend a LIFESTYLE based on quality sweet fruit IF you can get it. Supplement those cals each day with refined sugars and processed starches like rice, wheat, quinoa, corn, potatoes, yams etc. I say processed because when you cook something is is NOT a whole food! A whole food is an apple. You can drink more apples than you can eat a raw one. You can eat more cooked rice than raw rice. You can eat an INSANE amount of yams, sweet potatoes, corn if it is cooked vs raw aka you will GET WAY MORE CARBS SO YOU CAN GET LIFE FUCKING DONE! (Where is the discussion about training? Like why are people driving cars in Sydney when it is faster to just ride down the road vs store body fat, pollute the earth by sitting in a car that kill children, pets and wildlife every day?)

For those obsessed with just diet diet diet the TRUE WHOLE food DIEt is raw fruit. Just pick up a peach and eat it. That is a whole food!. (Whole food is NOT cooked food lol!)

A diet high in processed foods is essentially what I recommend.

Cooked starches aka rice of any kind, pasta.

Fruit smoothies.

Refined sugars aka dried fruit, cane sugar, fructose syrup, rice cakes etc.

Processed fats like tofu, oil, nut butters etc are good if you are getting too skinny or you have no heart disease risk. I eat them when Im looking to gain a bit of fat or not drop weight too fast because Im riding my bike more than sitting my undercarbed ass in a car. #irony

Bottom line I DONT take performance advice from peeps that can’t even post a tumblr question once a day or upload a basic youtube video once a day yet their profession is social media. 

I DONT take performance advice from peeps that wouldnt put a fat person in their instagram shot yet would get dropped by a fat person up a hill on a bike.

People can critique my lifestyle advice (I dont do diets man, it is LIFESTYLE I teach) but fuck, at least so us some epic shit or epic transformations of people you have coached. Im running a 6 week festival this year in Thailand essentially on my own. You think Im gonna do that eating a mouse sized acai bowl I just paid $40 for from some hipster cafe in Bondi where you could drop 100$ on the ground and nobody would notice because they are too busy looking at their phones, their reflections in the window or at other hipsters hair cuts and analyzing the bondi sands tans. 😂

To be continued….

[akxyaptn-blog]

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[jo5huaray]

can i express how i feel today?

why is that everytime someone wants something good in their life.....there has to be something or someone to ruin it? yin and yang? good and bad? without one, you can have the other? makes sense. has too. and if it doesnt, does that make you blind to reality? you living in your own reality where things are make believe? dreamland? how could someone live there knowing that isnt the reality that we live in? would that consume you mentally? and if it didn't, would you actually be living your life? yolo? i mean you would have to actually dream it and make it reality but you necessarily couldnt because you would dwell to much on that reality of yours and get lost in the idea of actually making it. so i guess in terms, you have to know when to leave your box, and expand without losing the fire. hmmm.....you think some people actually think, "my life is actually amazing" when in reality its not. i mean that could be their reality or idea of what life being good is.....just because its different from your idea of a good life doesnt make it any less dumb or not "good" enough. but where im going with this is, can people actually go through life things about what they can be doing instead of what they are actually doing? i mean you have to get to a certain point where you see someone actually try to progress and be like "hey you are doing it!!" or "fucking told you so" and find humor in someone elses bad luck.....but im a strong believer that people go through life not trying to succeed and love to stay in their shell and cry wolf when no one has time for them or can make time. its like are we suppose to wait for you to decide when its time to change. katt williams said it ffucking right when he said it," cant be fucking with people doing the same shit every year" "them people are the unhealthy people that will drag you down" " if you gotta succeed alone then so be it, at least you arent being held back by those who call you their friends"

guess you can say im not in the best mood atm, pretty down, wouldnt say depressed. my kids are happy. and healthy. shit to healthy i think. i do miss them. rather be with them at this very moment instead of this place or surrounding. but things and people are stopping me from that currently. im the type of person who cant get anger constantly.....i have 3 modes. anger and im attacking. anger and i cry because it did it to myself. or happy and burying what i have bury to no get emotional. you dont know how many people have told me you do this to yourself joshua.....like a fucking record thats skipping. and i finally realize the reason i keep making immature mistakes. i cant hate....truly hate someone if they were to mess with my babies. and my dog. and my computer lol. but truly hate someone who done me wrong? i mean my dad use to beat the shit out of me. my mom as well.....mostly females who loved the idea of being with me or wanted to be with me. i cant truly hate none of them....so i guess you can say i relaspe until i figure a soultion inbetween hating them and being their slave. relaspe like a user and my drug is female......well the idea of being in love like they would see me. my idea of being in love and being able to love someone excites me. but it cant be just anyone....definitely cant be anyone. and i tend to jump from one to another because that fizz isnt there anymore. the cheating. the lying......i have yet to have someone constantly keep my entertained like i would think they would want too. i mean the concept of,"if you dont do it someone else will" and most people nowadays settle for it keep the hope alive. that idea of being loved and loving alive.....but why? should the couple understand that concept because how more real can it get? i mean if you dont buy flowers for her someone else will. if you dont make him dinner someone else will. if you dont tell her you love her like people need air and show her, someone definitely will come along and tell her and that and actually mean it. if you dont fucking him or keep him satifisted, you know damn well someone will be waiting for that text saying, "hey wyd" and you dont believe that....its ok eventually you will have to figure it out or be stuck in a constant loop for immature relationship or immature adults who act like big ol babies

i honestly feel like crying my eyes out. or leaving and crying in my truck....what good will that do me? probably make my eyes look like shit and hurt, thus not worth it. even though i know its not worth it, i still feel the sense of sadness growing inside of me. like a sickness you werent prepared for. no medicine can help you and only you can help yourself. but yeah that brings it back to me not being able to truly hate someone. what will hating them get me? make me feel better? temporary? sure maybe but would it be worth it to bring someone down with my lashing of constant bombardement of hateful words and degrading comments? yeah definitely bring their asses to the reality they may not be seeing or what they caused me to do. reaction to their action? not the best choice thats why i choose not to be a hateful person. even though i know some would say go for it. use it to make yourself beat this sickness they call sadness........they been telling me that since day 1 and you think i choose to do it yet? lol i just cant. the cheaters, liars, the "its you and not me", the "i love you but not in love with you" yeah i cant. idk hate me cause i cant stand up and do it. i just dont feel the need to do it. and thats the main reason i slip....relaspe back to the idea of actually being loved by these so called girls.....i cant call you women because you havent shown me enough to actually be a woman. but im not innocent bystander. ive done it all and im not proud it either but i can dwell on it as i do it because why sit here and love someone who isnt texting you or talking to you or attempting to be with you and expect you to sit here waiting with you bent over like you ready about to get fucked? lol literally majority of people want you to wait on them if you are their friend or if you love them....like what shit you smoking.....waiting on hand and foot yet you give me a pinky of time and attention? thats not being mean nor hateful in my opinion. thats just common sense....shit i would expect that if i wasnt fucking or loving a girl i was interested in. thats why i never text first... if im important or whatever ( with certain exceptions of course! lol hey grey areas) then you would make time for me....best believe if you text me or call me, and i find you highly attractive or actually like you, you wont just get one text or two....maybe like a series of questions or a poem lol lol or something to bring you closer mentally and physcially lol but thats just it. you cant race to win and stop racing......keep it pushin! never stop. yeah its alot of work but wtf you think we are here for? to obtain this lifes best by simply hopefully for it to happen? yeah some are fortunated the others but then mostly 99% of people arent that fortunate that others....the bottom, down in the slumps where you either sit there and regret it your entire life you never actually bust the ass to obtain your "reality".

the idea of being love by those who i know cant love me truly like i want to be love consumes me entirely where i forget about the life im living in itself. the life i picture for myself ( and yes my kids as well for those of you who acutally thought i wouldnt picture a life without my bootoo, hot ness, and Jilee) that life i picture does come with someone who actually loves me like ive always preached. i always swapped between one or the other because of negatives or defaults that may have had....or push them away on purpose so i wouldnt have to be the bad guy, and in reality, my reality, i wanted them to be like the previous one. or the next one so jumping from one to another, hoping they would take from the last to be better than the last is only a fragment of my imagnation playing tricks on me. lying to myself to make my reality seem livable with in reality, its not. thus the cycle begins and repeats....jump to this one....oh you wanna be loved forever and be happy.....but cant keep me focused on us. then the next one, oh you always had bad boyfriends and just want someone to understand you, but yet you dont take the time to actually understand who i am or what we actually have to be a couple.....these days people say, "50/50" and yet i laugh my ass off cause these ignorant fools dont understand that it has to be 100/100. hell you can even say 150/150 if you want. if you are those type of highly expectation folks......why would anyone want 50% of what someone has to offer? tell me how that math even makes fucking sense.....tell me how someone is suppose to stay in a relationship or be with someone who they give more than the other? cant do that math because its impossible. actually not impossible, possible just fucking retarded lmao. whoever decides that is only harming themselves and the other person. so lets do that math now 50/50....breaks even with 50 cross the board. so she gets 50 and you get 50. not the full 100...so would would anyone want that?.....meaning you both get nothing in the end with that analogy. 100/50? left with 50.....and ill let you be the guess on whose left with the 50%.....cause if you guessed the person only giving half...you seriously need to go back to 3rd grade and learn the basic fundenmentals of math lmao....ok 100/100? you get her all and she gets your all....that works. definitely can see that working. would have to second guess your love or hers. probably would have time to even think about whats wrong or what could go wrong because you would be in the reality you just fucking made? and the funny part, she would be right there with you!!! lmao making sense now? the 150/150 is for those selected few who are over acheivers and know how to actually give 150% of who they are. think about it.....how could someone give 150% of themselves to another? and no not tissue or blood you fucks.

[hgfstreamchats]

The Sims 4

Smokey: MAKE ME IN THE SIMS Knock Out: I was planning on it! Smokey: WHOA REALLY? Smokey: YESSSSSSSSS Jalaperilo: Here she is! Jalaperilo: hello hello! Smokey: Hey! Knock Out: You're keeping the hat. Smokey: but Jalaperilo: yo smokes! Smokey: but woojit what about my beautiful hair :( Smokey: how am i gonna sleep if I have a HAT on Smokey: DONT MAKE ME PUBLIC ENEMY >:( Jalaperilo: Ive played 1 2 and 3 excessivly, but not 4 Knock Out: Too late! The hat is on! Smokey: woojit :( thenightetc: It's never coming off now.  You'll just have to have it clip through things. Smokey: im domed t never sleep Smokey: doom Smokey: doomed thenightetc: I can't quiiiiite read those.  What'd you give him, traitwise? Smokey: wait yeah what are my traits Jalaperilo: bunny slippers! Smokey: OOOH MAKE ME FASHIONABLE Smokey: can i be taller Smokey: i wanna clip through buildings Knock Out: Probably. Jalaperilo: didnt you already cause knock out to clip through a wall lol thenightetc: ...I swear they changed Simlish Smokey: Pfpfffpf- I sure did! thenightetc: It's a little uncanny.

Smokey: My translators are glitching up trying to figure out what they're saying- so probably! Smokey: can we make wheeljack yip Jalaperilo: do they still have real song on the radio that were rerecorded into simlish? thenightetc: Oh, it's a fake language.  It doesn't "translate" to anything too specific, you just get the gist of it Jalaperilo: i know its a fake language Jalaperilo: but hadouken, a band i love, rerecorded one of their songs into simlish thenightetc: ^Was replying to Smokescreen. Jalaperilo: ah Smokey: What? Fake language? How does that even work? Smokey: Isn't it a fictional language? LIke- with a sim dictionary somewhere? Knock Out: Good enough! Smokey: wheeljack looks ooooooooold thenightetc: Just, you know.  Phonemes. Smokey: but why and how Smokey: CAT EARS thenightetc: I guess because it stops it from getting too annoying/tiresome to hear them say the same things over and over. Smokey: Are youo sure it's not secretly a real language? Starscreamapillar: Drat. I must away. Have fun tormenting your effigies. Smokey: Awww, bye Starbeam thenightetc: Goodnight! Thebes: hello! Jalaperilo: hello! thenightetc: The little goatee arrangement is very You. Knock Out: We'll torment a few in your honor! Knock Out: Thank you! I'm very happy with that. Jalaperilo: sorry i looked away, whose being made now? Smokey: Breakdown it looks like! Jalaperilo: * squints* breakdown humanson Smokey: can breakdown have cat ears woojit Knock Out: He most definitely can. Jalaperilo: breakdown needs to be 6 ft wide with amazing hips Smokey: :D Knock Out: If I can find a him that isn't hideous. Smokey: just make a scan of breakdown and put him in like that Jalaperilo: i like the thighs Jalaperilo: he's built like a rower Knock Out: There we are. Reasonable and unbiased. Smokey: can the thighs be bigger? Jalaperilo: isnt knockout a bit tall? Thebes: Unfortunately, height isn't variable Knock Out: Let's play the quiet game, jalaperilo human. Jalaperilo: awwww Jalaperilo: i dont like the quiet game Smokey: I don't gotta play the quiet game do I Woojit :( Knock Out: You lost the quiet game vorns ago, Smokescreen. Don't worry about it. thenightetc: What are those pants thenightetc: That's like a wallpaper pattern. Jalaperilo: whos this now??? Jalaperilo: bumbumbee! Smokey: YAY So I never have to be quiet! That's awesome! Smokey: :O! Knock Out: His aspiration is to become a vampire because I said so. thenightetc: Excellent. Smokey: wait what Jalaperilo: is there an aspiration called 'take on too much responsibility cause you uncosciously feel like you need to be punished for not being good enough even though you really are? Thebes: technically no, but there's plenty of ways to plunge them into angst. Found that out the hard way when I randomly rolled up a sim and they got 'Lazy', 'Ambitious', and the aspiration to bodybuild. Jalaperilo: sounds like that can be rolled into one aspiration called 'executive dysfunction' Jalaperilo: oh. the screaming one thenightetc: It's going to be a good thing Starscream already left, isn't it Knock Out: Oh! Forgot to edit their walk cycles! Smokey: starscream should be older though right Knock Out: That's key. thenightetc: !! thenightetc: You can DO that? thenightetc: Amazing! Thebes: lot of oprions too~ Jalaperilo: haha! thenightetc: oh my GOD Jalaperilo: yes!!! Smokey: can you give me that walk of like... that one person in food fight Jalaperilo: booo Smokey: you know Jalaperilo: cruel thenightetc: This is amazing. Knock Out: No trade ins on walks. Jalaperilo: i do like that hair on screamer Knock Out: Unless you're Breakdown. Breakdown can have anything he wants. Knock Out: Requests for anyone else? Jalaperilo: the hunch one for screamer! Jalaperilo: nosferatu screamer! nosferatu screamer Jalaperilo: something jogging like for bumbum Jalaperilo: yes Smokey: woojit can my sim have money Knock Out: I'd give him bouncy, but that's a Smokescreen walk. Knock Out: They'll all have money. I'm giving them enough to finance all their vices. Jalaperilo: somkey, you have to like in a box and be paid pennies a day Smokey: :( Smokey: Thats just like my real life though Smokey: I don't even MAKE shanix for helping run my home Smokey: shanix isn't even really a thing thenightetc: Bigger glasses.  Bigger. Smokey: SOUNDBABE Jalaperilo: a big scarf that covers as much of his face as possible! Smokey: i need to find my old sims file with the terrifying soundwave thenightetc: Is that a bong? Smokey: had big, all seeing optics Knock Out: It is indeed. Jalaperilo: 3 piece black/purple suit! Knock Out: There we go! thenightetc: Oh dear, that clipping Jalaperilo: whee whee's pompadour isnt pompy enough Smokey: soundwave has the power to clip through anything Jalaperilo: just like ko thenightetc: I dunno, I liked the shirt with the headphone cords Smokey: I wish you could change clthing materials like in sims 3. you could make soome SUPER amazing and ugly clothes Jalaperilo: is 'super *** creepy' a trait Jalaperilo: and yes, smokey, the fabric changer was great Knock Out: I wish. Knock Out: Pompadoury enough now? Jalaperilo: lol. thank you boo thenightetc: So what walk cycle are you giving HIM. Jalaperilo: bit of a sausage fest... Smokey: can he just t-pose and float around Smokey: a sausage fest? Smokey: we can't even buy groceries yet though Smokey: I want my sim to eat a hot dog! Jalaperilo: its a festival where all you can eat is sausage and there's no taco stalls thenightetc: well I'm sure there are mods for that Knock Out: I'll put it on my to do list for the next time. Smokey: Man, that sounds like a terrible festival- there should be every kind of food available! Smokey: Wait you gotta mod the game for hot dogs? Jalaperilo: i agree. everyone should have a wide pallet Knock Out: I'd make Shockwave, but I've no idea how I'd make Shockwave. Jalaperilo: massive boobs Smokey: do we have pets in the game? Smokey: shockbabe Jalaperilo: what a lineup thenightetc: Look what Soundwave's doing Jalaperilo: ratchet have to be bbb's dad Knock Out: I'll go back and edit it in! Knock Out: Four bedrooms. They can all fight over them. Jalaperilo: ok. are we placing bets on who dies first? Knock Out: By all means! thenightetc: Oh, good, a way to start fires. thenightetc: It wouldn't be Sims without THAT. Thebes: Ohhh, it gets better. This incarnation allows sims to be embarassed to death. Smokey: wait what Smokey: well it's good I don't feel embarrassment ever! Jalaperilo: well thats smokey dead first them Smokey: NO Thebes: so new and unusual death methods remain even though they made it impossible to die in a pool thenightetc: So, just curious, there's gardening in this game right? thenightetc: :) Knock Out: There is! Jalaperilo: haha Jalaperilo: man, you guys dont wait around to start macking Knock Out: Can you blame us? Smokey: I want someone to smooch :( Knock Out: If no one dies in a reasonable amount of time, we can always toss on the violence mod. Smokey: the what now thenightetc: Oh my god, Wheeljack's just going to have that bong permanently attached to his hand, isn't he Smokey: wait am I becoming friends with screamer or are my optics broken Jalaperilo: smokey you should seduce soundwave thenightetc: Well, you did say you wanted someone to smooch. Smokey: byt Smokey: but Smokey: starscream?? Jalaperilo: or ratchet and become bbb's stepdad Smokey: Nooooo Thebes: it's sims. no one is allowed dignity. Smokey: ... if I smooched up to Soundwave would I be able to ground ALL the decepticons Smokey: wait whos that Knock Out: The neighbors. Smokey: we have what thenightetc: If you greet someone they get to come live in your house.  Those are the rules. Smokey: ..... Jalaperilo: human rules Knock Out: And Soundwave's insulted because someone on the internet insulted his Minicon care methods. Smokey: "You can't just glue them to your chest!" Jalaperilo: 'susan: has baby strapped to chest. susan: hypocritical *** with poor tate in shoes Jalaperilo: now i can only imagine sodunwave on mumsnet Knock Out: Oh, the violence mod for this one isn't funny. I'm not seeing an option to body slam anyone by their feet. Jalaperilo: aw Jalaperilo: they need to do a prowrestling expansion pack Knock Out: Aw, there you go, Smokescreen. You made a friend. Smokey: wait i wanted to ask starscream for WHAT thenightetc: It IS a good thing he's already left. Smokey: seriously what did Smokey: what did I just ask for i missed it Smokey: WOOJIT. Knock Out: Oh, this is priceless. thenightetc: I couldn't read the text. Smokey: .... Ask for sax. Smokey: Yes. That's it Knock Out: Exactly. Knock Out: Some long, thick sax. thenightetc: I see that diamond.  Is he just going to starve to death right there? Smokey: woojit why Jalaperilo: has anyone peed themselves yet? Smokey: why did you hover over the sax button again Smokey: ... wait why am I embarrassed Knock Out: Because he rejected your offer of sax. Smokey: oh........... :( Smokey: ... wait what are those hearts Smokey: why are there hearts Smokey: starscream no Smokey: you can't just kick breakdown out of his bed Smokey: uh Smokey: um. am i just standing there that's Jalaperilo: youre just being regular old smokey lol Smokey: True!

Jalaperilo: assert dominence by having sex with bd while looking the person he flirted with in the eye thenightetc: Just do it right there on one of those tables. Jalaperilo: yes Smokey: .. wait am I inspired to sleep or Knock Out: Excellent idea! Jalaperilo: i wish i could read the writing Smokey: No! thenightetc: There's a "random" option for the sex mod? Jalaperilo: haha! Knock Out: There is! Jalaperilo: i'm dying at this Smokey: Man- Starscream WOULD love karaoke Knock Out: He probably would have. He always loved a captive audience. Jalaperilo: physically chained down? Jalaperilo: ok. timne for me to go to bed. gotta get up in 6 hours of a 9 hour shift :( thenightetc: Goodnight! Smokey: Man- that sucks. Have a nice recharge, though! Knock Out: Goodnight, jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo: thank you! and good night smokey, nighty, knocky Smokey: Knocky Wocky! Jalaperilo: lol Smokey: ... you always gotta check on me after starry Smokey: w thenightetc: I swear that pouring animation has the drink missing the glass by several inches Smokey: where did I go Knock Out: They're all leaving more miserable than they were when they came. Smokey: woojit let old man screamer go home and sleep Smokey: :( Smokey: let my sim be happy woojit come n Knock Out: He looks downright jolly to me. thenightetc: The stink lines are true to life Smokey: NO thenightetc: Stinky Smokey. Smokey: I smell nice! thenightetc: *skeptical look* Smokey: .... who said yiff yiff Thebes: Nope. stink lines. And eeeveryone can tell Knock Out: By the standards of that house, I'm sure you do. Smokey: come onnnn Smokey: I bathed a couple of weeks ago! Knock Out: There we are, a much needed laundry machine. Smokey: Can we have a hot tub woojit Knock Out: Certainly not because they're prone to starting fires. No sir. Knock Out: Yes. thenightetc: You'll just pee in it. Smokey: well maybe if there was another toilet for me I wouldn't Knock Out: A toilet free household builds character. thenightetc: A stinky character. Smokey: whoa I'm so stinky looking thenightetc: Welp. thenightetc: I called it. Smokey: ....... thenightetc: And now you're just... sitting in it. :| Knock Out: You called it. You win the prize no one wants. Smokey: you win the pee Knock Out: And submerging in it. thenightetc: I think Smokey wins the pee. Smokey: noooo thenightetc: Ewwwwwwww Smokey: bee joins in Smokey: and makes the pee team thenightetc: Don't do it, Knockout! Smokey: iget in woojit thenightetc: You don't know what he's been doing in there. Smokey: woojit put on pants JUST to get in thenightetc: Ewwwwwwww Smokey: 3 guys chilling in a hot tub Knock Out: And takes them off to go to the town square. Smokey: did pee fall asleep in the hot tub Smokey: is starscream just shocked at the sight of me now Smokey: is it the hat Smokey: why do I keep thinking about pee Smokey: ... can you frag in the tub Knock Out: I'm sure it had everything to do with the hat and nothing to do with the odor of urine. thenightetc: Would you WANT to frag in that tub. Smokey: Well Starscream has NO room to talk Smokey: adsbzcxvzcx Smokey: RATCHET Smokey: wheeljack Smokey: you cant just watch thenightetc: What, rooting for him to join in? Smokey: NO Thebes: So that happened Smokey: am I never wearing my hat again thenightetc: Sinister music of someone about to start a fire Knock Out: Soundwave is keeping everyone from starving to death and that's not funny. thenightetc: ...It is a little bit. Smokey: Isn't that how the Decepticons were? Knock Out: ...When you're right, you're right. thenightetc: Is that a birthday cake? Knock Out: Alright, Smokescreen. I'll throw you a bone. I'll make your Sim happy. Smokey: :D Smokey: wait Smokey: wait how thenightetc: Oh boy! Smokey: ... Smokey: oh thenightetc: Did you mean to leave yourself standing on the bed permanently? Smokey: wait ............ Smokey: KNOCK OUT Smokey: KNOCK OUT Smokey: LOOK EVEN THE GAME THINKS WE'RE INCOMPATABLE Knock Out: The game has a poor sense of humor. Smokey: feed him thenightetc: ...Did that food just... ROT into nothingness? thenightetc: Is that why the plates are "clean" now? Knock Out: That would make sense. Knock Out: The mansion has become a metaphor for life, death, and decay. Smokey: knock out Smokey: the flirting is failing so much I'm so glad Knock Out: Are they just using the hot tub as a giant toilet? thenightetc: Mm, in 2 there was a mod that had some scripts to build relationships--it'd detect which interactions would be accepted, I think. thenightetc: It was handy Knock Out: You're lucky it wouldn't be as funny if I forced it. thenightetc: Oh, that was the point!  It wasn't forcing it, per se, it was just saving you the effort of looking up the interaction threshholds in the manual Smokey: It'd say way more about you thenightetc: Maybe my concept of what is and isn't "cheating" is a little loose. Smokey: sleeping in the pee tub thenightetc: You should just.  Throw that away. Smokey: NO Knock Out: The hot tub is its own ecosystem at this point. thenightetc: Yes, that's the problem. Knock Out: It serves as the mansion's toilet/bed/eventual grave. thenightetc: Try teleporting! Smokey: woojit if you wanna be with breakdown you gotta stop standing on top of sleeping bee thenightetc: What about that cheat that lets you pick up sims and move them around? thenightetc: Oh.  Does it not work in this version? thenightetc: I guess the bed's where you live now. Knock Out: It's a delicate condition and I'm a little sensitive about it. Smokey: He likes to feel tall Smokey: wait what happened to your helm Smokey: THERE WE GO thenightetc: Ahh, good. thenightetc: So... there IS some way to die in a hot tub, right? Knock Out: There'd better be. thenightetc: Maybe it can somehow light on fire thenightetc: OH BOY Smokey: WAIT WHO STARTED THE Smokey: AM I PUTTING IT OUT thenightetc: Everyone just walking through it. Knock Out: Oh, this game has no sense of fun! Smokey: I SAVED OUR LIVES thenightetc: Try putting more stuff around it!  Then the fire can spread. Knock Out: Excellent idea! thenightetc: Flamingos are traditional, but a little tacky. Knock Out: Better yet, fireworks! You can buy fireworks in this game! thenightetc: Oh!  Good idea! Smokey: :O Smokey: Fireworks are so cool I wanna see them! Smokey: But I also want to not die thenightetc: We all want things we can't have, Smokey.  Everyone's gotta go sometime. Smokey: I dont trust starry's food Knock Out: Rude, Starscream. Very rude. Smokey: rudescream thenightetc: What you should do--add another toilet, but surround it with things they can't step over, so that they can't actually reach it. thenightetc: Keep them from just using the hot tub all the time. Smokey: b Smokey: but Thebes: tiny things, too. so it's extra hilarious when they fail thenightetc: Yes! Smokey: :( thenightetc: Build a giant maze around it, too. Smokey: At least let me find love in someone that's not Starscream thenightetc: Oh my god. thenightetc: This is hilariously cruel. Thebes: That's basically the raison d'etre of the sims, tbh

Knock Out: Where are the manners, Starscream? thenightetc: Hmmm, I think if it's surrounded by walls, though, they won't even TRY to get to it. thenightetc: Did you take away all the beds when I wasn't looking, or something? thenightetc: Or are they all glitched? Knock Out: I'm fairly sure they can step around anything that isn't a wall. Knock Out: Who knows? thenightetc: Maybe Smokescreen just prefers sleeping in the pee tub. thenightetc: Just.  Marinating.  :/ Smokey: >:( thenightetc: Hey, I'm not here to judge! thenightetc: ...And yet here I am, judging. Smokey: I'm not marinating in my own pee! thenightetc: Well, it's not JUST yours, I'm sure. Thebes: Probably not going to stop anyone from talking about all this awful stuff we saw an entity named Smokescreen do Smokey: NO thenightetc: Thank goodness there aren't any pumpkins on this lot Knock Out: Pumpkins, you say? Smokey: NO NO NO NO NO thenightetc: I did say! Thebes: they're waiting in the buy mode Smokey: NO thenightetc: Ha!  So you don't even have to go to the trouble of growing them. thenightetc: Take a picture! Thebes: and now Smokescreen has failed at party too Smokey: :( Smokey: WOOJIT Smokey: YOU ARE FRAMING ME thenightetc: HA Smokey: I HATE THIS thenightetc: Good idea!  We should frame that. Smokey: NO Smokey: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO Smokey: WHY Smokey: starsc Knock Out: But look how eager you sound! Smokey: starscream just clipped through me Smokey: woojit i will make sure you are covered in owls Knock Out: Worth it. thenightetc: I feel like there must be some way to snap an object to a sim's hand. Smokey: woojit let me flirt with starscream please Smokey: end this pumpkin thenightetc: Flirt with Starscream and this pumpkin? Smokey: NO Smokey: end the pumpkining Smokey: please thenightetc: You're the pumpkin king! Smokey: i'll flirt with starscream offline just Smokey: no pumpkind Thebes: but then how can we tell everyone 'smokescreen carves pumpkins while being an exhibitionist' Smokey: you don't! thenightetc: Well then. Smokey: uh Smokey: NO Smokey: NO NO NO NOO NO Smokey: WOOJIT Smokey: I AM STEALING YOUR PENS Thebes: Okay, never mind, being able to say Smokescreen's a wanker is even better. thenightetc: A pumpkin wanker. Smokey: :( Knock Out: Alright, all in favor of just leaving Smokescreen like that for the duration? Smokey: NO thenightetc: Aye! Thebes: aye! thenightetc: Wait, wait. Smokey: NOOOO thenightetc: Move the bed, with him on it, out into the living room. thenightetc: Or, eh, there's not room there--the front yard. thenightetc: And the pumpkins Smokey: why thenightetc: Tooooo keep you safe from the fire that's starting! :) Smokey: I PUT OUT THE FIRE LAST TIME thenightetc: So who's burning to death here? Smokey: wait who paid me thenightetc: ...is ther e a tip jar thenightetc: Because honestly that's even funnier Smokey: .... Thebes: I think this mod, if it's what I'm thinking of, counts that as marketable public display Knock Out: Stop putting out my fires! Knock Out: You're ruining my dinner party! thenightetc: Who's that? thenightetc: I can't tell under all the soot. Knock Out: Wheeljack. I was going to send him to make pancakes. thenightetc: Ahhhhh. thenightetc: Hoping he'll set another fire, eh? Knock Out: At this point, the fire is our new roommate. thenightetc: The mansion belongs to the fire now. Knock Out: The hot tub and fenced in toilets belong to everyone else. Smokey: but thenightetc: Huh, does it not... actually burn stuff? Smokey: HELP ME thenightetc: What just happened? thenightetc: I heard a little musical sting Thebes: Honestly death in this game is a lot harder to come by. they even took out the ladder cheat. thenightetc: Which is disappointing, I mean the ladder cheat is really the heart of the franchise. Knock Out: And the fire death! Smokey: NO thenightetc: Well, at least we have pumpkin wanking. Knock Out: Ohho, wait! I found a mod! Thebes: 3 had the right idea. ladderdeaths, fire deaths, and the ignoble and amazing death by jellybean or time paradox Knock Out: We're doing it. I'm not ending this stream on an anticlimactic note. thenightetc: OOooo! thenightetc: Death mod? Thebes: WOO! Thebes: Fire burns, everyone dies! Smokey: :( thenightetc: I guess things'll still be "anticlimactic" for Smokescreen. Smokey: >:( thenightetc: Y'know, because the animation doesn't-- thenightetc: :) Knock Out: HAH! thenightetc: Was that a hah at my joke or a victorious hah? Knock Out: Your joke, but the latter, too. thenightetc: :) Thebes: At last, he can die as he's lived thenightetc: Surrounded by pumpkins. Smokey: No Smokey: No no no thenightetc: Yes! thenightetc: Hey.  Hey, see if you can move one of the pumpkins on top of him! thenightetc: Surely you can place things on beds, right? Knock Out: Will that do you? thenightetc: HA Smokey: NO. Smokey: KNOCK OUT. YOU ARE GONNA REGRET THIS thenightetc: ...What if you put the pumpkin on someoen else's head and had them, y'know......... Knock Out: They need to consumate their glorious love before the house goes up in a blaze. thenightetc: Yes. Smokey: :( thenightetc: Love the piles of rotting... laundry?  Realkly gives it a special ambiance. Knock Out: Doesn't it though? thenightetc: Awww, where'd the pumpkin go Knock Out: Again, the game hates fun. thenightetc: So what's the "wicked" interaction for the dj table? Smokey: e Smokey: eh Smokey: i looked away what am I DOING Smokey: who Smokey: why Smokey: woojit thenightetc: You're doing Starscream Smokey: WOOJIT. thenightetc: ...I mean, obviously thenightetc: Huh. Knock Out: Soundwave can have the honor of lighting the fire and ending this madness. thenightetc: Look at them; they're having fun. Smokey: i cant believe you woojit why me and starscream WHY he's a creep why are we going at it Knock Out: He was impressed by your pumpkin display. Smokey: ... Doesn't that mean he's a pumpkin fragger too? Smokey: Or a wannabe? Smokey: ... man we're really going at it thenightetc: Would that make you a pumpkin? Smokey: I guess that's better than the alternative but thenightetc: Well, if there were a WAY to dress Starscream up in a delightful pumpkin costume during this, I'm sure we'd be doing that thenightetc: But we can't have everything, apparently. Smokey: I didn't see it was at 3 times the speed Smokey: I just thought woojit was REALLY fast Smokey: :( Smokey: WOOJIT Smokey: WHY thenightetc: Yesssss. Smokey: NO Smokey: NO NO N O NO NO NONONONONONO NO NO Thebes: The mansion belongs to the flames now Knock Out: We all died the way we lived. thenightetc: CAN you die while doing those animations? Knock Out: ...Apparently not! thenightetc: Ha! Smokey: we're immortal! Thebes: only until you stop thenightetc: DEATH thenightetc: WE HAVE DEATH Smokey: WHERE AM I Smokey: AM I ALIVE STILL thenightetc: THREE deaths! Smokey: BARGAIN WITH DEATH FOR MY LIFE thenightetc: "Very tense" Smokey: FLIRT WITH DEATH Smokey: FRAG DEATH thenightetc: Aren't there two other sims somewhere on the lot? Knock Out: Probably. thenightetc: Why the superspeed? Knock Out: To see if it burns itself out. Knock Out: Or if the reaper moves. Smokey: can the reaper be naked? thenightetc: Ahhhhh thenightetc: So, eh.... who survived this? Knock Out: Starscream and Bumblebee, apparently? thenightetc: Huh. thenightetc: Smokescreen died covered in pumpkin pulp. Smokey: :( thenightetc: Sorry-- thenightetc: NAKED and covered in pumpkin pulp. Knock Out: He went out with his boots on, as the humans say. Knock Out: Doing what he loved. Knock Out: Which was pumpkins. Smokey: NO thenightetc: Yes. Smokey: i was fragging starscream thenightetc: And Starscream. Smokey: which isn't much better but Smokey: NO thenightetc: Starscream, who had been dressed up as a pumpkin shortly beforehand, in order to entice you. Knock Out: Rest in pumpkin. thenightetc: You should figure out which urn is Smokescreen's... Smokey: woojit you will Pay for these crimes thenightetc: And tip it into a pumpkin thenightetc: :) Smokey: knock owl thenightetc: Or I guess use moveobjects to cheat it into the same space Smokey: OOOH GHOSTS thenightetc: ...So, I guess with this mod, once a fire starts it never goes out ever and you can never save? thenightetc: ...Are those ghosts naked. Thebes: probably Knock Out: Yes. Smokey: clothes dont cme with you to the afterlife thenightetc: Sounds like an excuse to me. thenightetc: Can't believe all the furniture's still there and not little piles of ash. Smokey: we got super durable furniture Thebes: more durable than the tenants, in fact Knock Out: Well, they got most of the fire. Knock Out: "Almost" counts in fire, doesn't it? thenightetc: I'm pretty sure it does. Smokey: woojit you are the worst at this Knock Out: Well, it looks like that's a wrap for tonight. thenightetc: The best, surely. Smokey: :( Smokey: Night night Woojit Knock Out: Thank you all very, very much for coming! Smokey: I've got revenge planned for the pumpkins Knock Out: That's fair enough. thenightetc: Thank YOU for hosting this!  And entertaining us all with the pumpkins and so forth. Smokey: And also I'm definitely taking your pens because of the Starscream thing Thebes: And the many, MANY things we witnessed Smokescreen do Knock Out: Also fair! thenightetc: We're awful, but it's funny. thenightetc: Goodnight! Thebes: good night!