#this was going to be a funny post but im thinking abt it too hard and now i want to cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaloonbabooguuscooties · 9 months

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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

#ive spent months on thsi stupid lesbian toxic yuri slow burn relationship so you all better clap or im blowing this building up #psychonauts #elka doom #franke athens #ill paint the town red

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

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HELLO IT IS I AGAIN (Razor's mom /real)

So you know those imposters aus where characters chase the reader for being an 'impersonator'?

What if... It's a continuation from my ask (where we meet Razor first before everyone), and Razor is just confused at the patrolling knights near Wolvendom constantly asking him if he have saw 'the impostor'

Tbh he just shakes his head. Who tf is the impostor????? Wtf is an impostor???????

Many question marks later..

He had encountered an epiphany (not really it's just the Springvale ppl talking about someone copying the creator's looks).

The 'Impostor' they have been searching is you.

But you're not an impostor! Razor knows it! Andrius knows it! And with how the nature and the monster responded to you, Teyvat knows it too!

So like the good son he is, he sheltered you even more severely.

Ur not allowed to go out of his sights at this point (he'll still take you to places with many lampgrasses if you still wanna make a crown w it)

And my imagination ends there, do you think there's something else he'd do?

Ty for answering my last request btw, ur the best and I hope you get your favorite characters w one 10 pull and your desired artifacts w the best stats <3

Much love and sweets

-Razor's mom

RAZOR'S MOM!! HELLO aw im so glad u liked it :)

Srry about the late reply! 💜💜💜

Ok, so I think this is a good time to point to my shiny

Writing Requests/About Me Post I have pinned on my 👉 blog!!👈💅 taaa daaaa :) i did it guys here ya go

Yall have been GREAT so far abt keeping the requests chill and fun, and i dont have that many "Donts" that arent obvious (homophobia, transphobia, ableism,etc)

♡

Dont worry Razor Mom, i just wanted to use this as a way to talk about this!! /nm /gen

♡

About Imposter AU, there are plenty of other blogs/posts that write for that or posts under SAGAU tag! :)

I said wayyy earlier on in some of my first asks, but basically I really want to lighten up the Genshin SAGAU / Isekai tag and branch out from all these darker Imposter AUs :)

And also add more world-building posts or AUs <3

(language brainrot for example)!!

◇

TL;DR: I am not accepting hunting down/yandere/cult au/imposter au Genshin Sagau, only a funny or chill version of it.

Please check my writing rules post :)

Example: u look like Creator, but everybody's like, "oh lucky them wow rlly blessed, have a free drink, etc.

OR omfg where r they?? They descended to Teyvat oh fuck we lost our god-"

♡

Heres the Razor post !!!

If u wanna check it out :]

Cracks knuckles, Saddle up Baby, bc its time for my version of the Imposter AU 🤭😋😈

(and sorry for answering super late/possible scare Razor mom anon!! :'/ )

♡

So it begins rlly small right?

Like, Razor does not know the new knight patroling Wolvendom's borders

,, weird but ok, he thinks basically

And then when it was time to visit some domains a little closer to Springvale for grinding

(Or rlly just to get some of their tiny restaurants homemade food yumm)

He notices more Favonius knights lurking around than usual

Or at least widening their patrols

And hes like wtf?

Ur like, huh.

I'll ask Springvale ppl wtf goin on

The locals respond that the search for the Great Creator has begun.

...

...you and Razor: 👁👄👁 w h o m s t ❔️

◇

Upon further questioning

(which was apparantly weird that yall didnt know, but eh, u just used the whole "feral wolf child with feral blacksmith parent living in woods ignorance" excuse)

Admittedly yall, quite literally, live under a rock lmao

They explain theres a whole ass prophecy

Abt how the Great Architect would succumb to a long slumber somewhere else in the vast universe after making the planet.

And when the time is right, they will reconnect to Teyvat, and awaken, and descend in a mortal form

(like the archons)

◇

..but the kicker is nobody knows wtf they look like bc:

1. All that lore is hella crumbly and old, and very hard to translate

2. Mortal forms sometimes look different than god forms, so even if they did know some defining features of the Creator, that wasnt guaranteed to be them...

◇

(i.e. they will have brown eyes, well. Thats a fuckton of ppl with brown eyes innit? 💀)

♤

So thru certain signs, that this mysterious prophecy wooooo

Said would happen, the nations of Teyvat and their many supernatural inhabitants are aware the ultimate god has descended

(The crops flourished? Animals got more wily, many of the sick ppl got better for no reason, the Irminsul started regrowing/filling out its base- like how it looked like a lightning struck tree rn 💀)

So every country are now trying to find them to be the first to welcome them home

Needless to say its lowkey a competition

◇

Meanwhile you and Razor are just:

... (゜▽゜;)

"Haha yeah cool..."

(Andrius already told u what u r to Teyvat and explained to Razor)

Ur both immediately slapping a cloak on u and keeping the hood up all the time

Yall dont wanna be seperated :(

Ur both paranoid for diff reasons,

Razor's just scared his Lupical is going to be taken from him again bc there r better, more refined humans wanting to be ur Lupical ;-;

And ur like-

Omfg that sounds like sm work 💀

While its nice to daydream abt what itd be like to be famous, realistically,

U could not handle that shit.

People crowding you all the time?

U cant just look busted anywhere u go, like a midnight snack run

Ppl would also expect u be,

Responsible??

To act like a competent ruler maybe???

Hell no.

U just wanted to play a pretty gacha game and spoil ur skrunklies

(At least, if they do wanna call u that, they dont make u do anything political 💀 but u doubt it)

◇

Needless to say, Razor is glued to ur side everywhere u go.

A domain a half mile away? Oh he'll come with dw

Ur gonna go stop by that food merchant further up the road for ingredients? Cool he'll sniff the best ones!

Ur going to see Andrius??

Oh he needed to see him too-

😭😭🥺🥺 poor babe

♧

Surprisingly enough,

Or maybe not his house is right tf there

Diluc is the first person to actually recognize you.

Razor had been subtly steering u away from Mondstadt for 3 weeks now, ever since yall talked to the Springvale locals

An u cant say u didnt notice, but u werent rlly stopping him

You wanted to be like Venti, chillin among the ppl regardless of ur powers, not the Raiden Shogun :/

And maybe shock some ppl who dont know ur a god like him too lol

◇

Diluc had been looking around the lesser patroled areas of Mondstadt to search for the Architect

He didn't even need those incompetent knights to tell him their god had finally descended

He already saw the signs long before Mondstadt

Bc youve been in Wolvendom, the area has flourished over time, more fish in the water, more game to hunt and bigger, crows making circles in the sky despite there being no corpse

And one of the closest places to you,

Is the Dawn Winery.

Diluc's security against Venti began to hold up better, the staff didn't have to clean as much things like dirt or weather damage to the manor,

His hawk had never been faster delivering his letters, he almost thought the little guy had been drugged with something

◇

He patroled Stormterror's Lair, and deep in the woods surrounding the manor that the knights hadn't bother to go into

Afterall, he figured you'd never had a mortal form before, so u were unlikely to fend for urself for very long in the woods lol

so he wanted to find u quick (aww softy :')

He even made a trip out to the Thousand Wind Temple and Dragonspine (he did report that one to the knights, he didn't want Amber, Bennett, or Creator-forbid Klee, being the few pyro users to have to explore it)

Finally, after doing the further away locations, siginificant in history and rich with leftover magic

Diluc figured that's where you might land first, so he saved Wolvendom for last

It would at least let him check on that wolf kid and maybe get to talk to him long enough to ask him if he's seen anything unusual.

The lord of Dawn Winery manor heads into the Wolvendom woods, just as sunset colors the trees...

◇

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting, the weather was pleasant and it was time for all of the Lupical to come together and eat a big feast!! :)

About once a month, Andrius will come out for a few nights and dine with all of yall

Hes an old wolf give him a break, he takes long naps

So u cook lots of Mondstadt favorites to eat on and a few Liyue dishes too

Razor, ur favorite helper, has helped u finish the last dish and is now romping around with the puppies bless <3

U guys have dragged ur coffee table dining table setup out to sit and eat at

Andrius lets out a not too loud, not too quiet howl, and as the wolves, Razor and you lmao join in

Yall dig in, bones flying everywhere, spagetti noodles flingling around, it would put toddlers to shame lol

◇

Diluc hears a howl that is too... big to be a regular wolf.

It filled the air of Wolvendom like no howl before it, as he used the glowing lampgrass to help light the path deeper

He sneaks past a hilichurl camp or two, all fast asleep

He scans the woods, and figures he'll search the woods besides the path after he gets to that old stone carved pit-

Food?

Diluc sniffs the air, and squints deeper into the forest

The black branches shade the way ahead, but just barely... he can see the flicker of orange and blue light?

He summons his claymore, bracing it on his shoulder, and creeps into the treeline to better hide him

◇

You swear to god (dammit swear to.. you??) someone is watching you.

You look around the piles of fluffy doggos, happy and stuffed full they r slowly forming puppy piles

Andrius is finishing his meat platter, also sitting on all four legs on the ground

Razor is splayed on his back beside you, eyes closed, his feet sticking out the other side of the table, u chuckle at him

But not a single Lupical seems to be looking at you.

Gulping down your last few bites, you scan the treeline

U refuse to be that bitch in a horror movie where their gut says smth is off and they brush it off or barely look at their surroundings

Turning around to the treeline behind you, u see something... red fur?

U sit up some more, peering over the bushes at the bottom of the trees

You meet a pair of warm brown eyes, widened like they're just as shocked to see you

As u notice his familiar red high ponytail (but also not?? Its weird going from 2D to 3D and still recognizing bitches)

U peer down at his chest, as he carefully stands out of the foliage-

That familiar star shaped button that u can press for the character menu screen, the same thats on Razor, on Benny, on Fischl, on Lisa-

Hovers over Diluc's chest.

◇

Diluc is in the bush, observing the human(???) stranger (he really doesnt want to attract the attention of that.. giant spirit wolf thing)

The figure sitting at a ... table?? (He can barely process all these absurdities at once, hes only got so much brain space)

Has sensed his presence, and as he grips his claymore, ready to demand answers,

Razor startles, and jumps up, smelling the pyro user, he summons his weapon-

The figure locks eyes with him, and all he sees is gold.

Diluc drops his claymore.

☆

♡

☆

Have a cliffhanger bc idk 🤷‍♂️ Also srry it wasnt exactly Mondstadt finding u, and it somehow turned into a whole scenario?? Idk man

🤧 welp i hope that was decent Razor mom! Tysm for ur sweet feedback abt our beloved son 🙏💜🐺

Feel free to always talk again, thru comments, asks whatever!! :D

♡

Cheers,

💀♒️

(guys im so stupid i coud've been signing off with this simple emoji combo the whole time,, 😭i didnt actually think abt emojifying my name, just making it look pretty with some of my fav emojis... 😔)

If anyone reads this u should let me know which one is better lol

💀♒️

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

OR like a combo???

♡my beloved♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

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wqnwoos · 10 months

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howdy partner :3 /JJJJJ a request? me? yes (idk why im nervous to send this i have done this before)

i was thinking based on real experiences,, recently (like very recently, literally just this morning and you can see evidence), i had an all-nighter and i was super out of it. head hurty, but i was fine, i was alive but i was acting DUMB. bc i started posting random shit + dming random shit + made a lot of incomprehensible typos. how would,, 96z handle that kind of behavior

like [name] is exhausted as hell. all-nighters before sleeping for ages and repeating the cycle. parrotting some of the things they say, kinda giggly and saying how much they appreciate them and stuff. anything Dumb !! platonic tho, if thats aight :} hence no love HSIERFB but ily hana pookie <3 /p

fix off,

; 🌕

jun — finds it like,,, the funniest thing possible. probably records you to show the rest of the friend group 😭 asks you questions to push you further in your delirious rambles, keeps you going and going because it’s just so funny to him, until eventually when you’re showering him with compliments abt how he’s such a great friend he’s like. okay this mf needs to sleep.

hoshi — confused. actually tries his best to follow and understand your rambles, gets lost halfway because your words are literally incoherent, but then you say some random hot take that he completely disagrees with and it’s like 4am and suddenly u guys are arguing over something STUPID lmfaoo.

wonwoo — indulgent. finds it very entertaining and listens to you and nods very encouragingly. lets you talk your shit until you quite literally fall asleep in front of him. is very very amused but only shows it in a little smile or something 😭 pretends to take you entirely seriously and thanks you if you randomly tell him how much you appreciate him

woozi — is trying so hard to just put u in bed but he’s too nice to ignore you so he’s listening and nodding away (kinda like wonwoo) and going “ahh, i see” very seriously but he’s literally just humouring you until u fall the fuck asleep. if you start praising him to the ends of the earth then he’s like okay thanks bro gOODNIGHT and dips.

an / THANK U WEISS this was sm fun i wish i could’ve done it better or made it longer but time is sparse 😭

#seventeen x reader #seventeen headcanons #seventeen fluff #seventeen fic #asks #selenicives #requests

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ddejavvu · 2 years

Note

oh mother of fuck u have no idea how out of place it feels sending u something about nsfw but ik that u do that here so im sending u this (my apologies😀) & running away 🏃‍♀️🏃🏃‍♂️

but i think a concept thats kinda funny kinda spicy is hotch & bau reader having a professional relationship surface level, but under that hotch having like.,,., a embarrassingly large crush on them and one night just,,, j🅰️ckin 0ff to the thought of them and then struggling to make eye contact with them the next day at work cause the night before is all he can thing abt lmfao 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

baby don't feel out of place i literally get the horniest shit in my inbox every single day

this post is 18+, minors dni.

"Come in." Aaron's brow furrowed as his fingers tightened slightly around the pen in his grasp. He hadn't remembered calling anyone in to see him.

The door to his office cracks open, creaking slightly on the hinges as you make yourself known, "Sorry to interrupt, sir. I was wondering if we could go over my performance review earlier than we'd planned?"

Right. Your performance review. It was scheduled for three in the afternoon, but here you were at 9AM.

"I suppose so." Aaron felt something stirring below his gut as you turned to shut the door behind you, your pants shifting around the globes of your ass. He'd imagined squeezing that same flesh just last night, imagined how each curve would feel while they were squeezing his cock.

He'd been so lost in thought that you'd settled into your chair in front of his desk without him noticing, and his stationary eyeline just happened to be right where your neckline landed when you sat. Your shirt was low-cut, still professional, but definitely not a turtleneck. It gave him the slightest hint of cleavage, and he felt his cock twitch in his pants, stirring to life.

"Are you sure this is okay?" You ask, as he clears his throat, shuffling through papers to find your files.

"It's fine, Y/L/N." He dismisses, sending you his version of a smile, "You saved me from having to do more paperwork."

You let out a sympathetic giggle at that, settling back into your chair as he shuffles through the papers.

"Well I'm sure you know we've had minimal issues with you," He glances teasingly over the stack of papers, "There's not many problems here to discuss."

"Sir, if you're going to bring up the time I sassed that detective," You start, bringing a thumb up between your lips as you gnaw on the nail there, "I sent a formal apology to their department and it was cleared, I promise it won't happen again."

Aaron's eyes trail your movements, the way that your soft, plump lips bend under the weight of your thumb. Your teeth show as they scrape against your nail, and your voice comes out muffled as it moves around the finger in your mouth.

You take his silence for sternness, and nervousness brews in the pit of your belly, "I'm very sorry, sir, I know it was unprofessional."

He blinks, snaps out of it, and realizes he's hard beneath the desk. He scoots forwards slightly, locking eyes with you again and shaking his head, "It's fine. I hate to fuel your fire but he deserved it. Just try not to do it again."

"What if I do it again and just don't get caught?" You raise an eyebrow cockily, leaning forward to joke with him. The sight makes his stomach bottom out, and he feels the urge to lean forwards, not back like he should.

"As long as I don't have to deal with it, that's fine." He lets himself laugh, delighting in the soft smile it spreads over your face, your eyes crinkling at the edges, "You're a good agent, Y/L/N, I'm glad you're with us."

"Me too." You beam at him warmly, "Thank you, Hotch."

He wants to correct you. Aaron, he thinks, you can call me Aaron, hell, he'd let you call him daddy if you really wanted to, but he stays silent, only nodding with a kind smile on his lips.

"Do you want me to send Prentiss in now?" You stand, taking the papers he hands towards you over the desk. He deliberates, he knows she's next in line for a review, but his pants are tight and he's gripping the arm of his chair so hard his knuckles are turning white, so he shakes his head, "Not quite yet. I'll get her in a little while, I just need to finish first."

He gestures towards the paperwork he'd been working on when you came in, but he knows damn well he needs to finish, not finish. You nod cheerily at him, bidding him a good day. It's a sentiment that he returns, and he watches with rapt attention as you shut the door to his office and race down the steps, a bounce in your step that makes your chest shake.

He keeps paperwork held conveniently by his side that just so happens to cover the bulge in his pants as he closes the blinds to his office. He's sure Rossi will understand the correlation between you leaving and Aaron shutting himself in, but right now he doesn't care, all he cares about is fucking his fist hard enough to pretend it's your cunt.

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 8 months

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ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

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trans-luis-serra-navarro · 2 months

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@void-detective OKIE DOKIE ILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION HERE (hey hi hello it’s lil ol me @wisecrackingeric-2 ) CUZ THATS WHAT THIS BLOGS FOR AGABGSWBDHJSX I HOPE YOU DONT MIND!!!!!

Okay so the thing is. Compared to Leon or even compared to his time spent with Los Illuminados we don’t,,,, k n o w a whole lot about that portion of Luis’ life

Like OK if you’re speaking in logistics/canon compliancy then no alas it wouldn’t work at all JANSHSNDJXNX Laboratory Six (the Lab Luis worked in that made Nemesis) was set in Paris, France, and by the time the Raccoon City Outbreak had started, Luis had already fled Umbrella and presumably ended up in Valdelobos (sure there’s a CHANCE he might’ve floated around Europe for a while but?? He describes his time spent working on the Plagas as having been ‘years’ so I’m assuming he went straight to Valdelobos)

The timeline gets kinda wonky with Luis- he would’ve roughly been 22 when he fled umbrella, and it would’ve been anywhere between a couple months to a year before the RC Outbreak, and which meant he spent five or six years trapped by Los Illuminados give or take???? Which makes how he got a degree, went to college, got a job at Umbrella and spent enough time there to become one of their head scientists really funny to imagine when you remember he was only 21/22 when he fled HDBSHDNSJS like damn that man is a CHILD PRODIGY!!!! ((It also makes it DEVASTATING to imagine how he found out about Raccoon City one way or another but HEY I SAID NOTHING))

But if you’re talking in an AU or personality wise???? That’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR

Honestly I don’t think it’d be TOOOO different to their actual dynamic, just that they were both a lot younger and had a lot more maturing to do!!!! Again we don’t really know what kind of a person Luis was when he was younger other than that he was SUPER ambitious (which makes sense), probably a little more floaty/cocky (I don’t think he was lying about being a ladies man HXNSSJHD) overly curious and just generally really well-liked by his peers!! Like he considered them his family so I imagine he was probably just a more roughhouse version of the Luis we know him as now. We also don’t know how much of the Nemesis project Luis was aware of- given his upbringing I HIGHLY doubt Luis would go into umbrella knowing full well the scope of what they’re doing but I think it’s unrealistic to say he had malicious intent the entire time!!!

But adding onto that I think his guilt would be a LOT more apparent and repressed at the same time. Like when we see him in RE4R he’s already at a point where he’ll throw himself into the fire to fix his mistakes so can you IMAGINE what it must’ve been like when he was FRESH out of said mistakes????? Would he have tried to pretend they never happened??? Would it manifest as being destructive??? Who knows!!!!!! But I know for a fact Leon’s presence would DEFINITELY throw him for a loop HDBEHENDJD

Leon in RE2 is just PAINFULLY good at heart. Like we all know this you don’t need me to repeat it HXBSHSNS all he wants from the very start is to help anyone and everyone he can, and I think that would extend to Luis too. He’s obviously a lot more trusting too (like blah bla everyone get your jokes abt him believing that Ada was an FBI agent out of the way) so I don’t think he’d have AS strong of a grudge against Luis as he does in the remake. Sure I think he’d be WARY of him but if Luis was as honest and open as he is in re4r (even with a little prodding) which I think he definitely would be, ESPECIALLY cuz of, Y’know, waves hands, the debilitating guilt BXNSHNSJS Leon wouldn’t have a hard time trusting him in the end

What ID be SUPER INTERESTED IN is what would happen AFTER RC!!!! Would Leon try to protect Luis from the law???? Would Luis follow in Leon’s footsteps and be a government agent???? Would they both run away to Valdelobos and BOTH get stuck?????????

TLDR FOR THIS ACCIDENTALLY REALLY LONG POST AHWNWHWNDUDJSK I don’t think it’d be much different!!!!!!! They’d just have more maturing to do, which I think is weirdly beautiful!!!!!! Leon is still rather naive and optimistic and overly trusting and Luis is still wild and ambitious and overly curious about the world around him!!!!!! They’re good people at heart and I think their lives would’ve been a whole lot different if they’d just met at a different time and a different place

#ask #asks #luisposting #serennedy #serrenedy #serrennedy #luis serra #leon s kennedy #luis sera #luis serra navarro #luis sera navarro #leon kennedy

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jellyaibo · 2 months

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got to ramble abt loser to someone last nite right and its always a nice lil refresh for me explaining what actually happens in the show AND MAN its so funny how people are so willing to call loser a jerk or think shes evil bc of the things she did and like ok whatever but did we forget abt all the shit this thang had to go thru like ?!?!?!?

getting eliminated with the most votes so far, isolation in the jawbreaker (which ik tghis isnt a serious deal in the show, DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE ANGST ABT THIS CUZ IM NORMAL) like ofc getting eliminated isnt enough get into the sensory deprivation chamber SADFJKSHDFKHSDF LIKE !

also imsorry this cunt has ptsd HEHAHHAA WE SEE HER GET A FLASHBACK IN EP 4 THATS JUST NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN (the paper mache incident)

and like. man it adds layers BC AS U CAN SEE LOSER NEVER ALWAYS HAD IT SO GOOD???? so like OF COURSE when him & winner get popular loser relishes in it. BC ITS DESERVED? LOL? WOULDNT U BE ECSTATIC IF U AND UR BUDDY GOT POPULAR AFTER YEARS OF NOTHANG? ITS HUGE!

and yeah ! her up n' leaving winner wasnt the best but you srsly gotta keep in mind this is losers dream . to her winner just didnt want to support him anymore AND U COULD SEE LOSER WAS CLEARLY UPSET ! hes ALSO losing a good friend too !!

butohmy god im getting off tangent just. you know . loser has gone thru some shit and its funny how many ppl i see just dont talk about it !! AND LIKE !! ON TOP OF THIS LOSER IS STILL NICE !! IDC !! loser has always been helping people n doing her best . and even tho her fans keep flip flopping (shoutouts to cake) she still keeps her chin up

PLUS having all these fans adds another thing: expectations, expectations, THE HIGHEST OF ALL! bc loser is soo popular, everyone sees him as perfect and strong WHEN LIKE WE SEE LOSER IS A HELPER AND A NICE GUY YES but at the end of the day ! shes a guy ! (thinks really hard abt cake n eggy arguing then it just cutting to loser craving nuggets . see maybe this is just me looking too deep into it but it shows the contrast of how the fans feel abt her vs how loser rlly is . just a kinda quiet?? guy that likes helping ppl)

this shows even more in post split when loser has a #normal moment over "a fan doubting her" YOU CAN SEE HOW IT AFFECTS HIM BC EVERYONE HAS SUCH HUGE EXPECTATIONS AND . as u could see ANY ONE MISTAKE WILL LEAVE LOSER ALL ALONE AGAIN ! OFC SHE WILL PANIC INTERNALLY SKFHDKSDFH

and idk where to put this but taco calls him "cuboid" and like see itsounded so derogatory when she says it GAJHAHAHAHA ITS LIKE??? not object slursIM NOT SAYING THAT ITS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME . IT SOUNDS LIKE A DEROGATORY TERM MAN ITS LIKE GETTING CALLED uhhhhhhhhhok other than the f slur i cant think of anything its like shes being called a faggot ok whatever I NEED TO STOP TYPING

#sorry hi i woke up at 5 am and couldnt go back to sleep can u tell #this was not supposed to turn into me just analyzing loser but uhmm im nate #idol cube

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redactedgender · 1 month

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there’s a honey

ao3 link here

(15k words)

some tags: Porn with some plot ; Switching ; Flirting ; Awkwardness ; we love an enby who uses gendered language in genderfucky ways ; guy and his inability to stfu /pos ; No beta we die like xavier ; yall have met crow already. let me introduce you to sage ; Overuse of italics ; so many italics

its finally here! my 15k word guy/honey smut :] today is also (what i consider) my one year redacted listening anniversary. this series has meant a lot to me during the past year, and im very happy to have found out abt it when i did.

so, here's a fic that i hadn't originally planned on posting for my one year, but hey, guess now's as good a time as any to post it!

a reminder: this fic is 18+/NSFW.

a snippet under the cut

They hated to admit it, but kissing Guy was very quickly becoming their favorite thing to do. Not that they would ever admit that to him, of course. They had an image to maintain. But in their mind, they could think about kissing their boyfriend all they wanted. The quick pecks in the morning before he rushed off to work, the slow kisses they would share while he cooked dinner (because despite working almost every day in a pizza place making pizzas for sometimes ten hours or more in a single day, Guy liked cooking for the two of them), the multiple pecks across their face as he tried to distract them from something, mostly their work. There was something about Guy that made them act like— this . Like some kind of punch-drunk teeanger experiencing their first real relationship. Butterflies in their stomach, face constantly flushed anytime they looked at him, feeling flustered when he would say their name, all of the stuff that they had never experienced before. Guy surely was giving them the real “boyfriend experience” that they had only read about in high school. Speaking of their boyfriend— Sage looked up from their phone at the sound of the bell ringing out as the door into Max’s Rustic Pizza opened, and rolled their eyes at Guy’s frazzled grin and wide-eyed stare at his partner. Sage was leaning against the hood of their car, headphones on and blasting music, though it had been turned off and the headphones had been moved to hang around Sage’s neck. Guy looked them up and down, eyebrows wiggling enticingly, and Sage made a disgusted little noise they didn’t mean, which only made Guy laugh. Like Sage wasn’t just wearing jeans and a hoodie. He was ridiculous sometimes. “Hey there, hot stuff!” Guy called out, leering closer to his partner and arching an eyebrow. “Who are you waiting for, huh? Certainly someone as hot as you managed to bag someone as equally hot, right? I just know they’ve gotta be charming and handsome, and extremely funny, too!” He grinned, and Sage elbowed him in the arm, not hard, but sharp enough to make him recoil back and hold his arm. “Ow! I was complimenting you, what’d you do that for?” “Never call me ‘hot stuff’ again, first of all,” they retorted, adjusting their position against their car and tugging their hoodie around their shoulders tighter as a sharp wind tore through the air. Even though it was April and most of the days were getting warmer and warmer, the occasional chilly day still popped up, and today was one of them. “Second of all, I’m waiting for you , so I can go back to the apartment and finally play Zelda since you wanted to watch me play it instead of playing it yourself.” “Aww, c’mon, honey,” Guy crooned, resting one hand on the hood of the car and leaning his hip against it, tilting his head to peer at them with his (really fucking pretty, goddamn this fucking guy—) hazel eyes. “You know why I like watching you play it—you get so into the game, it’s adorable!” “It’s adorable when I’m screaming ‘fuck’ at the Lynels for killing me for the fifth time in a row? Or that one time I got so angry when I fell off a cliff and clipped through the world and lost all my gear that I had to go into my room before I punched our TV?” They deadpanned, eyebrow raised in question, and Guy nodded and grinned, biting his bottom lip like he was trying (and failing) to contain his excitement. “Mhm!” He brought his other hand to scratch at his head, a habit he had. “I mean, you’re just so good at the game, so it’s hardly fair for me to even play it! It’s much better as a viewing experience anyway, especially with my head in your lap. I mean, the only way it would be an even better viewing experience would maybe include me on my knees. Or maybe with my head between your—” Sage slapped Guy’s arm again, ignoring the way their face felt flushed at what their boyfriend was insinuating. “Not in public, you—!”

continue reading here!

#dog.txt #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redacted fanfic #guy #honey #redacted audio guy #redacted audio honey #ao3 fanfic #whining mutt #mdni #nsft

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gramarye · 4 months

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really really long post where i just talk about johan from yugioh gx thank you

im thinking about johan tonight bc i was drawing him and i wanna talk abt him. bear with me. I REALLY LIKE JOHAN . TO START THIS OFF WITH i have an official licensed johan "WHERE AM I" shirt and i adore it its really funny also i used to have like a johan pin i bought from a german anime store and it was like 8 euros but i shipped it off to my friend who is really really crazy about johan

^johan where am i shirt

anyway johan. jessejohan. i like johan so much believe me he is my nordic scandinavian brethen i just think his writing has issues mainly that he has like no real relationships outside judai and like. i know as a gay person -- i am literally a lesbian In A Lesbian Relationship In Real Life -- that characters will become more likeable when they're queer coded bcuz its Different and its relatable. however i think his writing is kind of really weak and i quote this thing my friend said in 2022 like a lot

HARD TRUTHS TO SWALLOW jesse is a beautiful damsel in distress and his personality outside jaden and crystal beasts is kind of nothing. i love him tho

but the most offensive thing abt it writing wise is like in season 4 when they duel against trueman sorry it was fujiwara. okay i was rewatching gx ages ago and my ex was watching it with me and it was her first time seeing it and shes a literature major and when the whole. "what is the darkness in johan's heart" scene, AFTER IT WAS ESTABLISHED EVERYONE, EVERY STUDENT INCLUDING MANJOUME SHO ASUKA O'BRIEN ETCETC has darkness in their hearts,

my ex goes "if they reveal that he has no darkness in his heart because hes such a special boy im going to be so fucking mad because hes already a mary sue" (HER WORDS NOT MINE she was so mad about johan its funny.) AND THEN THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY DO

like he is literally too perfect. his only flaw is his one (1) time thing about getting lost which is never really brought up again (also its more of an endearing haha funny thing and yes i like it i have a shirt referencing that scene.) and the fact that.. he gets taken over i guess.

i do think the switch around where they bamboozle fujiwara is really funny. it is a funny scene i just wish they literally didn't do it at the cost of "johan is a perfect person without any mental weaknesses when literally every single other character has some flaws" I DONT GET IT!!!

maybe he can just photosynthesize his worries into strength i dont know. does anyone remember that meme

but really like WHAT IS JOHAN WITHOUT JUDAI!!!! why is he literally perfect and above other characters also. why could they not give him any darkness like What possible reason does that serve except me think he is BORING!!!! i do like johan btw as i said i really do. i just think his writing kinda sucks and people are way too nice on johan because he is queer coded but the fact is his writing is really weak. this isnt exclusive to johan ok i also dislike some aspects of jadens writing and asukas and so forth (naming characters i really like to prove my point) I AM CRITICAL this is just. about johan. ok.

and this brings me to the weirdo youtube essayists who only care about s3 and think its the peak of gx and yugioh in general and also. ONE SUCH YOUTUBER. WHO SAID IT IS "HOMOPHOBIC" THAT JESSE IS SOUTHERN IN THE DUB WHICH. WHAT?

you think all southern people all homophobic??? im sorry but i know so many goddamn queer people in thhe south. are you out of your mind. please blow up. LET HIM BE A GAY TEXAN you are just showing your own prejudice literally why did so many gx fans eat up "umm it was homophobic of 4kids to make him southern" they give like everyone accents. he has cowboy boots in his design. its not homophobia hes just southern and southern gay people exist. watch brokeback mountain or something

anway

i think johan is a much more interesting character if you incorporate his manga counterpart into it. like combine him with his anime self and it'd be really fun. his bug enthusiasm in the manga is fun like he has an actual hobby and personality. ADHD bug king

also i think personally they should lean into him being scandinavian more. ITS FUNNY. i think he should try to feed manjoume blodplättar because he looks anemic. he should open a can of surströmming around asuka (canonically very much hates food with strong smells) and she gets so upset she has to like leave the building entirely. she should get into a cultural dispute with o'brien because he thinks carola's swedish cover of mickey is better than toni basil's original

youtube

i think this and like. septembers mikrofonkåt is what he should listen to. swedish pop baby

anyway. i like johan i just think Some of his fans are insane and thats why i need to take him down a peg every now and then . in a loving bully way. also hes very gender to me dont worry about it. also TWO different people have said some variation of the "fuck danganronpa and its fans i hope komaeda marries a woman" post about him to me in different years which is so funny.

anyway yes i love jessejohan. send post

#everyone quoted in this post has been censored for WITNESS PROTECTION #i think i she/herd johan at least once in this post by accident well freudian slip?#anyway come listen to carola's cover of mickey with me right now. ÅH MICKEY ATT DU INTE FATTAR VAD DU FÅR JAG VILL AT DU SKA STANNA VARENDA #tess talks

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sexysilverstrider · 5 months

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i bring my kieran thoughts to you once more but this one involves arven. i think its *so funny* when people do a love triangle with kieran, arven, and juli because they always portray kieran as this super jealous guy and arven as a clueless sweet himbo. i dont believe that. look back at how hard arven asserts in area zero that HES your best friend and NO ONE ELSE and you have SUCH A GREAT BOND. (1/2)

personally i see both arven and kieran to be clingy and easily jealous but each have their own way of jealousy.

like arven asserts his friendship with aoi. yes. but he doesnt realize how deep his feelings are for aoi until like later/when the situation calls where aoi is talking abt romantic feelings to another person. yes hes clingy to her but clingy in a way like 'THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. MY BESTEST FRIEND. MY BEST FRIEND. DID I REMIND YOU GUYS THAT SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. SHES SO COOL. MY BEST FRIEND.' like man went through so much grief in his childhood that the trauma has shaped him without realizing it. aoi has always been there for and with him BUT he also sees her bond with penny and nemona and besides him calling himself aois bestest friend he thinks nothing of it.

until kieran comes into the picture

arven gets jealous. definitely. but his jealousy is. safer in a sense. he gets anxious and nervous and just the fear of losing someone dear again really can make a grown man panic. he'll realize his feelings and tries to win her before its too late.

now kieran. kieran is literally the blueprint for any yandere trope. he was obsessed with ogerpon. he then got obssessed with beating and wanting to be like aoi. we have literal dialogues about how he got aoi in the brain. aoi became the sole reason he made a 180. aoi changed him in the worst way possible.

of course flash forward to the post dlc. he definitely lets it all go (as he said) but i see it as he slooowly gets over the process. hes taking a leave of absence after all kieran baby come back so he needs to therapy time to think back and redeem himself. hes slowly reverting back to his timid sweet self but heres the shtick: only to aoi

hes gain a reputation to be ruthless and cold. while hes not that anymore people still either fear or respect or hate him. hes calm at best or indifferent at worst. but to aoi? thats when people gets to see his sweetest. and to people flirting with aoi? thats when people gets to see his worst.

he still has that obsessive tendencies. he still has possessive tendencies. kieran will definitely assert his dominance over aois attention. sometimes subtle. sometimes not. im not talking volo levels of obsession of course but hes still a cunning boy and the best part is he doesnt even realize it. he loves aoi A LOT and he will not make the same mistake that causes him to lose her or this new bond they share.

anon i hear you aois bond with arven is way stronger and meaningful but kieran doesnt know that. and even if he does he does not care. aoi was kierans first love and its love at first sight. shes everything he ever wants to be and now shes everything he ever wants

#of course arven is not a clueless himbo #hes still the jealous type but the type that becomes vulnerable and he starts to doubt himself and has dreaded fear of losing her #while kierans jealousy is the type where boy can just lose it part 2 #while he stays calm around aoi he will show his dominance towards his rivals #n that fear of losing her is just as tenfold #sorry anon while i do agree about arven being just as clingy #kieran isnt going down without a fight lol #theres a reason why there are so many jealous kieran fanarts in the jpnese side #kieran is just kanato kidzbop #ask #anon #about pokemon

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