Spite and Resentment
Just a little Todoroki family angst I wrote on a whim. GN Reader is Touya’s twin sibling and has a Quirk that’s different from everyone in the family. Slight AU for things like Touya and Shouto each having twins.
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It is the little undoing of things over time that drives you to resent your father, Pro Hero Endeavor.
First, it’s how he doesn’t see you because your Quirk isn’t what he expects (or because for so long he thought you lacked one at all). Then it’s how he doesn’t see Touya because of what Touya lacks, too. It takes Endeavor forever to stop fighting your brother about Touya really being a boy (even if Endeavor sometimes still forgets), then everything seems fine—mostly—until Touya burns himself. Things change from one day to the next, and you see how it kills Touya inside to have that man reject him.
Your twin slowly withdraws from the world, isolates himself from everyone but you, because Natsuo currently possesses all the emotional availability of a rusted teaspoon and Fuyumi makes excuses for a man who won’t even glance Touya’s way when he returns home from work. Sometimes Endeavor glances at you every time, frustrated and hopeful, but you scorn him. So what if you have a useful Quirk that doesn’t hurt you and can be used offensively in combat? It’s not a perfect combination of his Quirk and mother’s, and the last time he tried to make you train, he had to very awkwardly explain his injuries to an entire team of doctors and nurses without incriminating either of you.
He hasn’t asked since.
Mother…Mother tries to make things better, but it only helps so much. Touya stops speaking to her the moment her belly starts to swell for the fourth and final time. He locks himself in his room, opening the door for you and no one else. You spend most of your time together more often than not. Watching him train until his skin turns red hurts your heart, but you refuse to be the one who crushes his dreams. That will never be an acceptable option, so you work with his ambition instead of against it. You try to push him toward achieving colder temperatures because you have a hunch about his Quirk, but Endeavor’s voice in his head just urges him to go hotter instead. You spend your entire allowance now on bandages and burn salve and wound cleaner so you can patch him up on days your Quirk reservoir is too depleted to utilize the energy stockpiled there for healing. It feels better than pulling away from him knowing he would just continue to go it alone without anyone to help him or tend to him while experiencing far more pain and discomfort.
As soon as Shouto and Shizue are born with their perfectly split dual toned hair, Endeavor wears an expression so smug it prompts you to crush up laxatives in his coffee. He experiences a less than pleasant morning patrol, but it can’t detract from the fact that Mother finally gave him what he desires. Now he has two perfect little masterpieces that he drags to the dojo as soon as they’re old enough to walk, trying to teach them martial arts before their Quirks even come in properly. Part of you feels sympathy for them. The rest of you is too busy hating Endeavor for how his actions—and inactions—make your brother suffer.
Touya loses his voice for an entire six months after his emotional outburst incident with the younger twins. The doctor Mother calls diagnoses him with selective mutism and leaves pamphlets about alternate means of communication. You and he learn sign language and morse code together, and you teach him Esperanto to spite Endeavor, who by now knows better than to say anything…troublesome…to you. He leaves you to your own devices, and for a majority of the time you manage to pass beneath his notice by staying out of his way.
When Endeavor eventually finds out about Touya’s training, he raises a hand to Mother. He never gets a chance to land a blow, though, because you’re right there hissing and spitting like some deranged cat-snake hybrid, lobbing curses at him in English that clearly make his blood boil, but he knows how dangerous your Quirk is even for a child without heavy training, so he storms off with an aggravated huff. Mother whispers something so soft you can’t hear it, but you turn and hug her anyway. Her tears wet your shirt and hair. You don’t care. She’s as much a victim as everyone else.
Father hits her anyway when you aren’t around. You get him back with various small yet effective (and hilarious) inconveniences, yet he still punishes her for Touya’s refusal to give up or be forgotten. Every new welt or bruise on her body makes your blood boil. The first time she comes in with a black eye, your hand twitches in barely restrained rage.
You think sometimes you want to kill him.
You almost do when he grabs Touya by his arm, lifting his shirt up to see swaths of burned skin on his belly and chest, and promptly screams in his face and starts shaking him. It’s as if he’s forgotten himself, forgotten you exist, when he slaps him. He doesn’t even see it coming when you rocket forward and use the remaining energy in your body to punch him in his stomach so hard that he doubles over wheezing. Your head spins from over-exertion. Another hit won’t be possible without you collapsing. You’ve gone too long without replenishing your stores and now you’re paying the price. Touya allows you to lead him down the hall to his room where you collapse across the foot of his bed, nauseous and lightheaded. He lays there next to you, face pressed into your neck as he cries. The headache forming feels worth it considering you know Endeavor won’t dare mess with Touya again today, even if it won’t alleviate Touya’s heartbreak.
Endeavor doesn’t touch Touya in anger after that, but Mother has bruised knees and a busted lip when you see her again, so you dump an entire cup of salt into his omelette when she isn’t looking. You also spit into his coffee and conveniently forget that he needs the non-dairy creamer instead of milk. He chokes on the first bite of breakfast, then chugs his coffee to clear his throat. The look on his face once the wrong taste registers would seem funnier if you didn’t have to send him vaguely threatening expressions once he can breathe again so he won’t blame Mother.
At this point you’re surprised he doesn’t outright hate you or try to kill you himself. Instead of raging at you, however, he just gets up and leaves. If you didn’t know better, you’d assume he’s afraid of you. Enji Todoroki, grown man and Pro Hero, afraid of a child? Nonsense, he’d say if anyone asks. Yet his eyes have become warier over the years at every targeted retaliation.
He won’t do anything to get rid of you. It would look too suspicious, and he would either look weak or sound crazy if he tries telling someone he’s being bullied by a child. Endeavor’s entire existence has made you reevaluate your stance on bullying. Any new bruise on Mother that she doesn’t put there herself convinces you that if anyone deserves this treatment, Endeavor does. After all, you wouldn’t have needed to break his ribs that one time if you hadn’t caught him kicking Mother in the stomach after shoving her to the floor.
Every time he hurts her, you prank, hurt, or inconvenience him. Just talking won’t help. Kami knows Mother begged him enough the few times you’ve caught him red-handed. You’d asked him too, calmly and without violence, once upon a time, but his attacks didn’t scale back until you started fighting for her. A child having to literally knock sense into their parent isn’t ideal, and you hate even resorting to this, but eventually, he learns the hard way and gains some semblance of self-control. It takes longer than it did with Touya, and you watch him like a hawk in case he turns on your siblings.
Despite this, you’re too little too late.
Touya…
Touya burns.
Between the sounds of screaming and the scent of burning flesh, you manage to drag him into the lake with you after minutes of you both being roasted by his flames. Your muscles protest as you keep both of you treading water for hours. Touya nearly drags you down, his body a deadweight, but you persist. Only when embers remain do you manage to swim to shore. You carry him up the bank and collapse, your skin itchy and uncomfortable. Touya had burned you too when you grabbed him to save his life. Without your Quirk healing the worst of your injuries, you might both be dead. As it is, although the damage could be worse, it remains severe, especially on Touya. Your Quirk has a built in defense mechanism that forces it to allocate energy toward healing you and keeping you alive, prioritizing your own survival over anyone else’s. As a result, you look mostly normal, while Touya will need serious rehabilitation unless you can restore your reserves soon enough to heal him yourself.
Your Quirk works by accumulating energy, which it derives from any pain you endure. Burning created an enormous amount of energy, yet it also consumed an enormous amount. With how hot the flames Touya produces become, your Quirk had to work in overdrive to prevent his flames from incinerating either of you. Not to mention that you had to apply it continuously to both your bodies while you stumbled around in the blaze trying to find the water’s edge, then had to use it to supplement your own stamina so you wouldn’t both drown. As it is, bone-deep exhaustion makes staying conscious impossible.
Your last sight of Touya before you succumb is of a boy so badly burned he looks grotesquely raw and half-dead but for the faint rise and fall of his chest. His lower jaw is missing, his hair has seared off completely, and little trickles of blood run down his cheeks like tears. With great difficulty, you use the last of your strength to hold his hand. Your eyes slip closed just as a twig snaps nearby, as if someone stood just out of sight.
Waking up in a hospital bed with Endeavor at your bedside, for once looking lost and forlorn, sets your teeth on edge. For once, no wariness lines his gaze. Instead he looks tired and grieved, with sadness lingering in his eyes. His eyes—Touya’s eyes—shift to your face when he notices you’re awake.
“Where is Touya,” you whisper, as hoarse and raspy as a chain smoker.
“Gone,” Endeavor says, gaze traveling away from your accusing stare and looking at some spot just beyond your shoulder.
Like he can’t bare to look into your face when you can look back at him.
“He’s home already? So someone healed him.”
“No, he—”
Endeavor hesitates. He never hesitates. He clears his throat, fidgeting in his seat. You glare at him, spiteful and resentful of the man who can’t even look at you when you’re in the fucking hospital.
Like he can sense your thoughts, he flinches, so subtle no one else would notice.
“Spit it out, Endeavor.”
“He’s dead.”
You blink as if that will clear your ears. The room tilts, spinning dangerously. Your hands grip the sheets as if the bleached white fabric is Endeavor’s thick neck. If Touya died trying to prove himself to this flaming piece of shit—
No.
“You’re a liar,” you spit, mean and full of bitterness.
“I’m not,” he refutes instantly.
“You are,” you snap. “Isn’t it enough to be a useless excuse for a father and husband? Now you have to lie to your kid when they’re in the fucking hospital too? Can you not sink any lower?”
Endeavor shoots to his feet, the flames around his face and chest blazing higher than normal and his fists clenching at his sides.
“You may hate me, brat, but that gives you no right to spew such hateful rhetoric at me. I’m still your father, even if you would prefer otherwise.”
“Oh, I think I have every right to do so after all you’ve done and failed to do, Endeavor.”
He takes an aggressive step forward then visibly restrains himself. You offer him a bitter smile to match your churning emotions.
“Really, Endeavor? So you want to hurt me even now in a hospital? Go ahead. Try something. Try anything. I dare you to do it. I won’t even fight back this time.”
“I am not some coward who feels the need to defend himself against a critically injured child,” he bites out from between clenched teeth. “Even if said child is you, you vicious little hell spawn.”
“Oh, that’s right,” you simper, “You only beat up scared women and minorly injured children. Such a brave man.”
Endeavor scowls, but before he can say anything more, a knock at the door grabs both your attention. A moment later, a doctor and nurse enter. You still feel weak from earlier, and Endeavor’s declaration still rings in your ears. Surely it must be a lie? It has to be, because otherwise…
Otherwise, Touya is gone.
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