#urge surfing

[borderlinereminders]

I talk a lot about urge surfing but I realize reading my blog post about it can seem long and daunting. So here’s some quick things that I think might be helpful!

Urge surfing is about “riding the wave” of an urge. The longer you resist an urge, the stronger it seems to get, much like the building of a wave. But it will eventually break like waves do. If you do give into an urge, that teaches your brain that giving into the urge is the only way to make it go away. Over time, as you resist urges, you can teach your brain that you don’t need to act on an urge for it to go away.

Here are some quick notes for when you’re having an urge.

1) Recognize and acknowledge that you are having an urge

2) Notice and describe the thoughts and feelings you are having, without trying to change or suppress them. This may be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. Discomfort while feeling an urge is normal.

3) Remind yourself that:

Discomfort is okay. I can sit with discomfort.

An urge is a desire, not a need. I can have an urge and choose not to act.

Urges are temporary. They will pass, whether I give into them or not.

Some other things you can do are focus on distracting yourself whether that’s by activities you like, grounding techniques or just overall keeping busy.

Remind yourself that you are in control. As hard as it is, you can choose not to act on your urge. It may feel impossible, but you can do it, and reminding yourself of that can help.

Here’s the longer post if you’re interested!

#urge surfing #my post

[theemotionmachine]

Urge Surfing: A Mindful Approach to Overcoming Addictive Behaviors

“Urge surfing” is a unique tool that combines mindfulness with habit change. The key idea is to step back and observe your desires and cravings instead of acting on them impulsively without thinking.

Learn more here!

#psychology #mental health #habits #self help #urge surfing #mindfulness #impulsive #cravings #addiction #eating

[idiotthewise]

Watch "DBT Expanded Edition - Bridge Burning: A Skill for Preventing Urges from Becoming Actions" on YouTube

Bridge Burning DBT skills

#bridge burning #dbt skills #surf the urge #urge surfing #mental health #addiction #bpd #Youtube

[askaborderline]

can you give me advice? i’m trying to forget my ex that i bombarded with calls and texts one night when i missed him lot. but it’s been hard because i never gave myself a chance to heal from the break-up and move on. honestly, even when i dated a guy after him, i felt like i still had feelings for him. it’s been a bit rough as i hit a massive depressive episode. i’m trying to leave him alone, but i’m so sad. i don’t know, just needed to vent.

thanks.

Hi anon,

Honestly, you've kind of said it yourself. You haven't given yourself a chance to heal from the break up and move on. I guess the question becomes, what does moving on look for you? Is there something that needs to happen for you to accomplish that?

For some, this means getting closure or realizing they aren't getting closure and working on accepting that.

Some things that I've done in the past are write a letter, and then destroy it. It has been a really great tool for me.

One of the ways people move on is by cutting contact. This means not looking at their profiles to see what they've been up to. (If this is something you do, it might be an urge you have, and I recommend checking out my post on urge surfing to try and manage that.)

The urge surfing post I mentioned might also be useful to resist the urge to message him.

I also recommend checking out the Radical Acceptance concept.

And try to remember that you can get through this. What helps me sometimes is remembering that there are so many others going through what I'm going through and that it is possible to get through it. You existed before him. You had a life before him. And you can have that without him. And honestly, there are so many people you haven't met yet who will love you and who you will love.

You can get through this anon.

April

#mod april #aab #radical acceptance #urge surfing #break up

[insignificantimpressionism]

i wanna put the gayest nastisest shit in your inbox

#personal #urge surfing

[matchandelure]

some miscellaneous enstars doodles from a while ago

last two are from i finally read some bkubstars

#for the trickstar one i was surfing my pinterest and saw the poses and just immediately got the urge to draw them i love them #also saw pretty outfits on pinterest and had to draw arashi in them bc i love her lots too #ensemble stars #enstars #あんさんぶるスターズ！ #あんスタ #oh boy lots of characters #akehoshi subaru #hidaka hokuto #yuuki makoto #isara mao #narukami arashi #ran nagisa #tomoe hiyori #sazanami jun #saegusa ibara #mikejima madara #tenshouin eichi #digital art #digital doodle #my art stuff

[the-furies]

ok. well. we have to live.

#if you're trans you have to live. ok? #and. and we aren't exempt from this. #and. fuck. #it might not be okay for a long while but it'll be okay some day. it *has* to be #it has to be okay. it has to be. #pk;m volition🟣 #urge surfing is a bitch but we. can do this #we're okay. i won't let anything hurt us again. #ok? going back to bed. #new vow. I'll keep us safe from ourself if it kills me. which it *won't*. #you can ignore this. our innerworld is a bit shot right now so this is how I'm communicating to the others. #we're safe and fine they're just scared. but I'll keeo us ssfe. we have to live and we *will*

[heelcody]

i could really use a cigarette right now I'm still smoking hemps but it's obviously not the same at all on any level ugh

#im urge surfing rn the feeling will pass amen #txt

[a-star-that-fell]

forgot i had a bunch of origami paper so i guess i’m filling up one of the sensory bottles i have for work with little stars

#it’s ~urge surfing~ #jules speaks

[autisticplants]

im getting restless again. for why

#resisting the urge to do unwise things for some level of excitement #something something i need to go meteor surfing

[borderlinereminders]

This is an article I've shared before that I've written, but I wanted to share it again so that I could post the text below the read more for those that aren't comfortable clicking to an external site.

This is a post about how to work on avoiding giving into harmful urges.

Something that comes up a lot in BPD, but also a number of other disorders, is impulse control and urges.

It can be so hard to not give in. For example, when feeling angry, we might have an urge to scream at someone, say something hurtful, harm ourselves or any number of things.

It’s really important to learn how to cope with harmful impulses and urges.

One way to do this is what is called Urge Surfing. Urge surfing is about “riding the wave” of an urge. The longer you resist an urge, the stronger it seems to get, much like the building of a wave. If you do give into an urge, that teaches your brain that giving into the urge is the only way to make it go away. However, research has shown that urges generally last for 20 to 30 minutes. It may feel like it’s going to keep on getting stronger and stronger until you give into it, but much like a wave, it will break and go away if you can avoid it.

Trying to directly stop an urge can be difficult. If you have ever tried to swim directly against a wave, you know that it can be exhausting. Especially as it gets stronger, it can feel like a wave will overwhelm you. On the other hand, if you swim to the side or otherwise do not work directly against the wave, you can move out of its power or give it time to break and dissipate without using nearly as much energy. Working with urges can be exactly the same.

One way I resist an urge is the “not now, later” approach. With this approach, I tell myself that, “Okay, you want to do that thing? That’s fine, but it has to be later.” I find this works for a lot of things because when I outright tell myself, “no,” I find it harder to let go of the urge. By telling myself I can give into the urge, but do it later, I find I can ignore the urge in less discomfort and usually by the time later arrives (I like a “sleep on it” rule for later, depending on the situation), the urge has passed and I can move on. If I do this repeatedly, I teach my brain to understand that the urge will go away whether I act on it or not.

Some things that can be useful to do when Urge Surfing:

Recognize and acknowledge that you are having an urge

Notice and describe the thoughts and feelings you are having, without trying to change or suppress them. This may be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. Discomfort while feeling an urge is normal.

Remind yourself:

There is nothing wrong with having urges. They are normal and natural parts of having addictions, habits and desires.

Discomfort is okay.

An urge is a desire, not a need. I can have an urge and choose not to act.

Urges are temporary. They will pass, whether I give into them or not.

Some other things you can do are focus on distracting yourself whether that’s by activities you like, grounding techniques or just overall keeping busy.

Remind yourself that you are in control. As hard as it is, you can choose not to act on your urge. It may feel impossible, but you can do it, and reminding yourself of that can help.

If it helps you, you can journal about your feelings and urges. Sometimes writing them down can help us realize why the urge isn’t good to give into. With that said, you can also spend some time thinking about why you shouldn’t do the thing you want to do. For example, you don’t want to yell at your friend because you know the feeling you’re experiencing is temporary and you don’t want to cause them unfair hurt which can also have lasting effects on your friendship. (With that said, if after you are calmer and you rationally think that cutting a friend off is better for your own mental health, then you should do that.)

And as time goes on, the urge should get less. This can help us because we are aware the discomfort we are in won’t last. If we feel like the discomfort won’t go away until we act on the urge, we are more likely to act on the urge to make it stop. Remind yourself that it will pass on its own.

Over time, Urge Surfing can help your brain learn that it doesn’t need to react to urges. It can help to make urges easier to avoid giving into, in the long-term.

#my blog posts #urge surfing

[thefaultinoursprinkles]

I’m so desperate for any amount of control. I just feel like everything I do is at the mercy of someone else who only views me as a utility. my stupid boss. My so called best friend. My fiancé. My bills. My mom. Nothing I do is really my decision and I can’t escape from the oppressive feeling that nothing I do makes a difference cause it’s all for other people.

#personal #I keep fucking going back to it. maybe if I stop eating. maybe if I’m more careful with my I take. maybe if I could lose weight #I know it won’t help and I can tell it’s because I’m desperately seeking control but every day it gets harder and harder to ignore #like I keep having the urge surfing talk in my head ‘if I just stopped eating we’d spend less money on food’ ‘but it will just result in a #binge in the long run and it’s not sustainable or healthy’ ‘remember how good it felt to be empty? have visible bones? how it felt to be col #d and tired and how accomplished that made you feel? you could feel it again’ ‘but it’s not worth it. I know it’s not beneficial for my phys #ical or mental health and that any good feelings are temporary and fleeting’ #but the more I have to argue against it the harder it is to say no #and the worse it gets outside the louder the voice gets inside

[shamelesslymkp]

I know it's better to be happy some of the time than unhappy all of the time, but there's always that treacherous part of me thinking moodily that if I were unhappy all of the time it would be easier, which it wouldn't, but the grass is always greener etc

#that other post called it urge surfing #i think it's more like what you do to survive a riptide #lay on your back and float #conserve your energy #try to go sideways if you can #just wait it out until you have a chance of either being rescued #or making it to shore #just talk to your therapist mkp

[adraughtofamortentia]

.

#besties..... #it is not all good in this chillies tonight #this chillies being my mental health #mcfrickin love urge surfing already 🏄‍♀️ #to just full on triggers #👏👏👏 can my parents get a round of applause #rambles #starting from scratch and trying to pick a self soothing activity but fucking yikes

[thethingything]

I woke up feeling really ill after 4 hours of sleep and immediately got our OCD triggered and had to avoid completely freaking out, then saw something that triggered some memories from June that will absolutely make me have a breakdown if I remember them in even slightly more detail than just acknowledging that "oh yeah a thing happened" so that's how we're doing today I guess

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #I need to get up and maybe get something to eat and drink because that'll make us feel a bit better #and then I can find some distractions and go over a self care checklist or something #also I did managed to mostly avoid the OCD compulsions and my brain is screaming but I'm determined to wait it out #if I find the right distraction for long enough I know my brain will shut up about that specific trigger but it's still a nightmare #shoutout to me for trying to use healthy coping mechanisms like urge surfing though #vent post

[dogwise]

PRACTICE URGE SURFING