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justanotherghostwriter · 1 year

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I posted 186 times in 2022

28 posts created (15%)

158 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@zkbigbang

@lizanthium

@marijayne-writing

@x-rainflame-x

@derinthescarletpescatarian

I tagged 185 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#fanart - 41 posts

#zutara - 34 posts

#zk big bang 2022 - 17 posts

#flagging for later - 15 posts

#animorphs - 15 posts

#fullmetal alchemist - 15 posts

#avatar the last airbender - 10 posts

#ghostfic - 9 posts

#about me - 9 posts

#lizanthium's art - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#he was just - as cassie says - the pillar. the one who took everybody's views and personalities and strengths and weaknesses and sorted out

My Top Posts in 2022:

Chapters: 1/7 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Lu Ten/Yue (Mentioned), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Hakoda & Katara (Avatar), Druk & Zuko (Avatar), Lu Ten & Zuko, Toph Beifong & Zuko, Toph Beifong & Katara Characters: Zuko (Avatar), Katara (Avatar), Druk (Avatar), Toph Beifong, Agni Kai Triad (Avatar), Iroh (Avatar), Lu Ten, Yue (Avatar), Hakoda (Avatar), Sokka (Avatar), Suki (Avatar) Additional Tags: Zutara Week 2022 (Avatar), Zutara Week, Round Robin, Modern AU with Bending, MeetCute, Identity Reveal, Slight Mentions of Gang politics, The Order of the White Lotus (Avatar), Hurt Zuko (Avatar) Summary:

While taking a shortcut through a park near the old Lower Ring of Ba Sing Se, Katara runs into an interesting dog and the dog's interesting owner. For the next few days, they share a morning walk and surprisingly deep secrets with one another. Katara is a little disappointed when her new friend stops showing one morning, until she finds the dog, alone and lost, and is pulled into danger she never anticipated. Also unexpected is how she appears to be falling for somebody who should be a sworn enemy.

I'm very excited to introduce this project to you. This year, for @zutaraweek, I decided to try a Round Robin with any writers who were keen. We each picked at least one of the weekly prompts and, like an impromptu acting class, followed on the story from where the previous writer left off. It's been amazing getting to know the other writers and seeing how their unique perspectives, skills and passions mold and shape the story. @ekwolfwriter-blog, @the-badger-mole, @marijayne-writing, @ryu-slayer: thank you all for trying this out with me!

It's my privilege to kick us off with day one. Please stay tuned for the rest as the week progresses!

17 notes - Posted September 19, 2022

NORTH STARS: PART II

PART I IS HERE

It’s one of the best days of the year! Today is @lizanthium 's birthday, which means that today is the reason we all get blessed by her presence, her art, her brain and her existence in general. Happy birthday, my dear twin. I offer you the ending of a story I’ve given you a beginning to, so that you can infer all the middle bits with no effort on my part. ;P In all seriousness: you sparkle so well, and it’s always a privilege to have some of your light in my life in whatever form it comes in. Here is to many more years blessed with growth and quiet moments and creativity and good family and friends.

Without a word, Katara padded to her brother’s side and sat beside him on the edge of the ice walkway. Even through her parka, the ice was chilly, but she made herself ignore the sensation in order to sit very still and watch the horizon. Sokka sighed beside her, and Katara watched from the corner of her eye as he turned a very misshapen carving of an otter seal over and over in his gloved fingers.

“Are you going to do it?” she asked, after a moment, still innocently studying the horizon like her heart wasn’t in her throat at the possibilities of what that evening could bring. Both potential outcomes made her on edge, but the emotions behind the quickened pulse were as different as the way the river could twist.

“I don’t know,” Sokka all but whispered, glum. “I don’t… Our tribe is counting on me. Dad and Bato are counting on me.” He glanced around a little theatrically. “Aang being able to stay hidden for a while longer and just… goof off and be a kid… The very tentative end to a hundred years of war… I could screw that all up by stopping that wedding. For a woman I’ve known for only three months. Three months, Katara.”

There were a hundred things Katara wanted to say to him, but some of them were tainted with frustration and hurt, and Katara was learning to keep those inside until their blades were dulled a little bit. Not every battle had to be fought with blood and wounds. A lesson that still sometimes tasted bitter. But, with hands that were learning how to heal people with the gift that thrummed like blood and breath inside of her, Katara clasped Sokka’s hand. And squeezed. He squeezed back, and she remembered that he was only sixteen, and she dropped her head onto his shoulder.

For a long moment, they were both quiet. Katara’s thoughts were on the Fire Nation ships that had come into the Northern waters that morning, and the handful of people clad in red who had been allowed to descend the gangplanks into the Northern Water Tribe. And her thoughts were on her father and Bato and the other select men and women from the South who had arrived the day before. And then she thought to Chief Arnook, and the Northern Tribe’s council of Elders, and all the arguments that could be made of all they’d done wrong and right during the war and during this situation. Would they be ruining hard-earned peace between the Water Tribes and the world, and the beginning of better relations between Water Tribes with their plan? Possibly. Was said plan only going to fulfil the selfish whims of four teenagers? Also possible.

But just as possible was finding the long-lost Avatar in an iceberg three months after a hundred years of war had ended because there was suddenly the desperate, hopeful chance she could learn Waterbending, and she’d already been eagerly practising. Just as possible was the fact that Yue was right, and the Spirits had organised things to happen this way, and some things were just destiny, and the adults just had to… be helped to see it. Or, if she couldn’t get her head around being that important to the Spirits, then she could at least hope for the fact that they were unimportant enough for destiny to still flow around them, even if they altered the course just slightly. Just slightly enough for four unimportant teenagers to be a little bit selfish.

“Are you going to do something even if I don’t?” Sokka asked her, and Katara smiled, fondly, at how well her brother knew her.

“Yes,” she told him, only a tiny bit unsure of her answer even though she and Zuko had taken a large chunk of the three months they’d known each other to even become friends. Her heart was just… sure. “I really think it’s worth it to try.”

Sokka laughed, not unkindly, and pulled away from her a little, making Katara have to lift her head. Once she was sitting upright, Sokka pulled off his glove, jabbed his thumb to his chest and then painted an invisible mark on her forehead. She knew he was painting the Mark of the Brave, even though she hadn’t been through her ice dodging ceremony just yet. She rolled her eyes at him, but there was fondness in her for the brother who was braver than he thought he was, and was probably about to find that all out for himself.

“Give your hand here,” she instructed instead of turning things as sappy as she wanted to, and she began to heal all the little cuts the carving knife had left on him.

***

There was no good moment to interrupt a marriage ceremony, Katara learned that day. But Sokka, brilliant as he was at strategy, somehow managed to crash in at the moment that almost made the most sense. Or, perhaps it wasn’t planning at all. Perhaps the words had just burst out of him in giddy adrenalin as Yue and Zuko were instructed to stand beside one another in the presence of their gathered witnesses.

“I am Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe!” Sokka yelled, cutting across Elder Anik’s grand speech in a squeaky, breathless rush. It was so unexpected that even Katara jumped in surprise. “And I — I — I do not condone this match!”

The second bit, at least, came out a little bit stronger. Katara heard her father inhale sharply behind her, and she quickly bent the ice under his feet slick, causing him to suddenly slip and have to cling onto Bato, who almost fell at the sudden, crashing weight. She’d apologise later. Right now, Sokka needed to be able to say his piece. Her brother caught her eye, and she nodded, and he squared his shoulders and turned back to the Northern Water Tribe Elders and Fire Lord Iroh and the four Fire Sages he’d brought with him, all who were staring at Sokka with varying degrees of quiet surprise.

“Boy,” one of the Elders boomed. “You do not—”

“I have every right to object!” Sokka fired back at him, head thrown back proudly. “The North has violated one of the very oldest promises between the sister tribes, and I, son of the current chief of the Southern Water Tribe, will not be silent and allow it to go grossly unaddressed for another year.”

Yue’s eyes were transfixed on Sokka as she reached out and gripped Zuko’s hand. Zuko, on the other hand, was warily alternating his gaze between the five Fire Nation representatives, the Northern Elders and the Southern representatives, entire body tense as though ready to fight. She realised, with a twist in her heart, that he expected somebody to attack Sokka for his interruption, and he was getting ready to intervene. To protect, like nobody had done for him. Once again, she was sad that Ozai hadn’t come to the North Pole so that she had no chance to accidentally drown the man.

“Sokka,” Hakoda said, almost sharper than Katara had ever heard him.

Elder Oki cut across her father. “The South is not truly independent,” he sneered. “The title of chief that your father holds gives him as much power as one of us Elders. If that.”

Instead of cowing Sokka, this only made him stand taller and take a step closer to the Elders. “Exactly. The Southern Water Tribes, plural, were always meant to be under the leadership and protection of the North. Protection. Where were you in the last hundred years? Where were you in the raids that stole our Waterbenders from us? The ones that killed my mother?” Oki’s mouth snapped shut, whatever he was going to say evidently getting knocked out of him. “If any of the Water Tribes deserve compensation from the Fire Nation, it is us.” The Fire Lord’s eyebrow raised, and he tilted his head to the side, as though agreeing. “The North, our great ‘big sister’, the seat where our Chief resides, did not even offer us that reparation. They simply asked for a few delegates to come and watch the wedding. Without discussion. Without apology for years of silence.”

There was certainly silence in the hall as Sokka took a pause, his chest heaving slightly. The same emotions that were clearly thrumming through him were in Katara’s chest, heavy and achingly hot. Some instinct made her glance at Zuko to find that his wary tracking had stopped and he was, instead, watching her. Okay? he mouthed at her, and some of the tension in her chest left as she gave him a small smile and a little nod.

Sokka didn’t let them stew for too long. “There is only one way to make reparations between North and South. Only one way to repair the brotherhood that has been broken here for so long. And that is the promise that should have been ours over generations: the good faith, unity, and celebration of marriage. That is what I am demanding on behalf of my people.”

The silence shattered to murmurs that rippled at different decibels across the room, people leaning in to whisper to one another. Only Sokka, Katara, Zuko and Yue stood perfectly still and perfectly upright.

“Sokka, son,” Chief Arnook said, and his gentle tone couldn’t quite cover the grief there. Katara noticed he was pointedly not looking or speaking to her father at all. “I… I understand your hurt. But there has been a war treaty signed between —”

“The treaty was signed to honour unity and to step forward into peace with good faith,” Zuko interrupted, voice clear and usual awkwardness completely gone. He stared Arnook head on, and only the way his free hand trembled gave away how much speaking up was costing him. “If I were still to marry Princess Yue, knowing all this that has been brought to light, it would be a violation of the very thing the marriage is supposed to stand for.”

“Prince Zuko,” the Fire Lord said, and nobody in the room could miss how Zuko flinched instinctively. In the too-long pause that followed, Yue did what Katara longed to do but could not and placed a subtle hand on the small of Zuko’s back, rubbing small circles there to try and soothe him. The Fire Lord very briefly closed his eyes in what Katara thought might have been sorrow at his nephew’s reaction. “And Warrior Sokka. What is it that you would both suggest?” The Elders started murmuring louder, so the Fire Lord turned a mild gaze to Chief Arnook. “It would be worthwhile to hear them out, I think, Chief?” he asked, with a little bow.

Chief Arnook, lips pressed together into a very thin line, waved his hand in agreement and in offer for Sokka to continue. Zuko looked over at Sokka, who suddenly looked very unsure. Alarmed, Katara started mentally willing him to scrape it back together.

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19 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

While the Music Lasts (20333 words) by JustAnotherGhostwriter Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Aang & Toph Beifong & Katara & Sokka & Suki & Zuko, Hakoda & Katara & Sokka (Avatar)

@zutaramonth day 25: Modern AU

A retelling of ATLA Book three in a college classical band AU. With lots of past and present and hints of future Zutara. With an added playlist for your listening needs.

24 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

Chapters: 2/15 Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)

Waiting in the courtyard after the messy, terrible Agni Kai against Azula, Katara and Zuko aren't sure what to expect next. When news does come, it's devastating: Aang has failed to stop Ozai. Run. Hide. We'll find you when it's safe.

They obey the order, fail to disobey the order, and find a little temporary space for a while, until they can rejoin what is left of the plan to stop the Phoenix King from destroying the world. And they wait.

And wait.

And learn that life has a way of carrying on even in the midst of war and failure. And then, as it always must, their past finally meets their present, and Katara and Zuko need to once again define what makes them who they are, and the roles they are willing to play in destiny.

28 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

NORTH STARS: PART I

PART II IS HERE.

I promise this won’t be very a long author’s note so, in summary: life really Got Real for a while there, and I lost the time to write at all. Most of the things I write and put out to the world mean something to me, but my current long project is weighty in a way that’s possibly also just a lot of self-pressure. Either way, I couldn’t leap right back into it after Februarch, and it’s Zutara Month, and my dearest and most beloved Northern Twin, @lizanthium, who deserves the best of the world, is not getting the best of the world right now.

Of course Liz’s SWT Zuko AU was the first thing I thought of when I saw today’s prompt. But I’ve already made a mess in that universe enough, so I decided to be Extra TM by writing her a “get well soon, I think you’re awesome so just keep being you, I believe in you so much” little thing set in an AU of her AU. If you’re new here: writing fic of fic is, horrifyingly and shamefully, like my signature anime attack move.

So here you go! I joked once about doing a Shakespearean/fairytale-Disney AU in which Zuko was set up in an arranged marriage with Yue, and then he and Yue fall head over heels in love (at first sight-ish, hence the Disney vibes) with both parts of the SWT delegation that come to celebrate their wedding. Cue the Shakespearean comedy and angst vibes as everybody tries to figure themselves out. So this isn’t, exactly, Southern Water Tribe Zuko. Yet. But I’ll submit it to the tag in a vain hope it makes the mark, somehow. Here are two planned beginning snippets of the AU for the worldbuilding feels, and then one scene that I didn’t plan to write but that needed to see the light of day because @barelyaware drew such hysterical and amazing fanart for it.

Liz, you’re so special. May this brighten your week at least a little. Thank you for your brain in which the SWT Zuko AU exists.

=========================================

“The way forward to find your own North Star is not to think or feel your way forward, but to dissolve the thoughts and feelings that are actually lies. You don’t have to learn your destiny — you already know it; you just have to unlearn the thoughts that blind you to what you know.” — Martha Beck.

She had always longed to be included in the war meetings her father and the tribe Elders held. Or, barring that stretch of custom, at least the serious meetings where tribe matters were discussed and decided. Yue was, after all, their princess, and one day to rule beside their chief. She had been brought up understanding and accepting that her husband would get her father’s title and responsibilities, but, as she grew older, she secretly looked at her father, ruling without her mother by his side, and wondered what would happen to her should the Spirits take the tribe’s next chief from them early. What if they had no son by that time, or had one, but he was too young? What would happen to the tribe if she did not know enough to keep them afloat until a new chief could come? Yue had never known how to broach such fears with her father, however, and so she had kept them to herself and to her prayers.

Now, finally sitting in a war meeting, Yue wished she had never longed for this moment to come and, in equal measure, wished that she had asked for it sooner. Her father’s face was as grave as a wall of black ice, but there was also a lack of his usual steadiness about him that frightened her beneath her own forced stillness and straight back. Yue couldn’t place where it appeared to be missing; was it in his shoulders or his hands or the way his eyes looked around the room? It occurred to her, with deep sadness, that perhaps it was she that was different; that the mirage that had hung around her father for so long had finally dissipated as they came to this moment, and she saw him as simply a man. Still wise and strong and worthy of all her love, but just a man.

Her husband would be just a man, too, she tried to remind herself, even as the Elders around her spoke about letting a monster into their midst. They were angry, distrustful, frightened, proud, and they had every right to be this way, but also no right at all. Yue understood that those two things could both be true, because she’d grown up learning to walk the line between two realities tugging in different directions. It both amused and alarmed her that these men she respected and loved and who protected her home did not seem to have a grasp on a truth that would be needed for the coming days. But she sat silent, and let the waves roll around her, waiting for the moment she would be heard if she spoke instead of trying to fight the tide that was stronger than her.

“We will have two men with Princess Yue at all times,” Elder Kiugak stated.

“Two is too few!” Elder Anik argued.

“If we place more around her, we will be telling the Fire Lord that we distrust his request for peace,” Elder Kiugak argued back.

“We do distrust him!” Elder Oki spoke up. “It is enough that we are agreeing to having an Ashmaker here in our city. The request to make peace by setting that thing as our one day chief is an insult that will anger the Spirits and the people we have laid to rest in this ground. It is enough that it has come to this! We cannot allow him to think that he will be treated with anything except the suspicion and disdain that his kind requires, even —”

“Thank you, Oki,” Arnook interrupted, loud but steady.

If Oki was allowed to continue, his rant would only grow like an avalanche. There was not a single person in the Northern Water Tribe who was happy about the terms of peace that they had arrived at with Fire Lord Iroh. But they also all knew that the war could not continue. As much as they’d walled themselves off and had managed to escape from Azulon’s ruthlessness, it was only a matter of time. And the rest of the world had burned. This was as much admitting defeat gracefully as it was atoning for the years they’d been wilfully blind to the suffering of those elsewhere. Or, at least, Yue hoped so.

“Perhaps,” Elder Anik interjected, giving Yue a side look full of pity, “we should ask the princess what would make her feel safe and work from that.”

“Yue?” her father asked her, nearly free of inflection.

Yue took a deep breath and raised her head higher and painted a small smile on her face. “If it will make you feel better, then please give me a guard. But I feel that none are necessary.” Protests shot up from every corner of the room, but Yue kept her gaze forward and her head high. When her father’s sweeping gaze landed on hers again, she continued, seizing her opportunity to speak. “We have few men as it is; we cannot afford having many simply standing around me, idle. Especially since Prince Zuko is coming alone, without any guards, friends or even servants.”

“Princess Yue —”

“Princess—”

“— a Firebender and —”

“—the Ashmaker—”

“Prince Zuko,” Yue said, firmly emphasising his title, “has given his word and his consent to this marriage and this treaty as Fire Lord Iroh has. Master Pakku. You trust the Fire Lord, do you not?”

There was the faintest smile on Pakku’s face; an almost approval. “I do, Princess.”

“And I trust Master Pakku’s judgement. I also trust the judgement of my Elders and of my Chief. I choose to trust that they would not have offered me in marriage to somebody whom they believed was a dishonourable liar only coming here to kill or destroy or colonise. Am I wrong?” Still with a face of innocence, Yue looked from face to face. All but Pakku’s eyes slid from hers. Pakku was definitely smirking faintly. “I did not think so, because I know of the love you have for me and for this tribe. And I know that your hearts are set on peace. And so I choose to give Prince Zuko the benefit of the doubt, because that is what I wish to start my engagement on. That is what I wish to be the foundation of my marriage and Prince Zuko’s rule over this tribe one day.”

There was a ring of silence. “Princess,” Oki finally blustered. “You have a good and kind heart, but the Ashm— the Fire Nation is a treacherous—” He stopped as he realised how close he was coming to slandering his chief, the Fire Lord and the intelligence of those who had combed through the wording of the treaty and had finally accepted the terms. “What happens if he harms you?”

“Then I will go for help,” Yue replied, giving him a soft, gentle smile. “And if he kills me, then there are repercussions you can take on the Fire Nation. And Hahn will become the next chief, as was the original intent before this treaty. Elders, death is not something you can keep at bay. We all know this. I know this deeply.” She fingered her Spirit-touched white hair. “And I choose to believe in the Spirits, in our people, in the reported love Fire Lord Iroh has for his nephew, and in the good intentions of people who are soon to be tied with ours forever. We agreed to embrace them as members of our tribe. Let us not be as dishonourable as we are accusing them of being.”

Yue let them talk and argue and complain and half-slither around things they didn’t want to say outright after that, content that she had had her peace. When the meeting finally ended, her father motioned for her to stay, and she did so until they were alone. They walked out the hall side-by-side in a heavy silence.

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32 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Awww #Look at me loving my squad #I love that it's ATLA everywhere #and then my longest tag is me screaming about Jake Berenson #On brand #Nothing has changed #About Me #About My Writing

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wanderingandfound · 1 year

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I posted 6,522 times in 2022

That's 1,002 more posts than 2021!

401 posts created (6%)

6,121 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@otakusapien

@biblionerd07

@nerdfighterwhatevernumbers

@arohawke

@citadelofswords

I tagged 6,521 of my posts in 2022

#humor - 1,173 posts

#fan art - 844 posts

#friends at the table - 670 posts

#personal - 469 posts

#tumblr - 426 posts

#video - 335 posts

#me - 306 posts

#art - 293 posts

#hieron - 260 posts

#goncharov - 222 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#there are so many vines. blackberries‚ nightshade‚ the curly one that's constantly surrounding and climbing up all sides of the house‚ and

My Top Posts in 2022:

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38 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

Okay so I first put Bee and PuppyCat on to listen to while I painted which was a mistake because there's a lot of visual-only stuff. So I finished it and immediately went to rewatch it and:

The candy Bee gets one of for her birthday is the candy that the candyhunters hunt for. Which is why PuppyCat is so shocked that she breaks it in half and then eats it! And then when her music box is repairing her arms it just dumps the candy in there. Like, Bee as a robot is HUGELY resource intensive apparently!

In the flashback when we see Bee's dad telling PuppyCat that they're working on his ship him, I wonder if that was true at the time. But then Bee got sick and her dad took all these resources that belonged to other people and used them to save, or possibly copy, Bee. And now he's gone (inside Bee???) and presumably has been for a while. Everyone on the island thinks the ship and debris in the water belong to Bee, and Deckard is completely unaware of the arcade that now has trees decades old growing out of it, and Bee looked exactly the same when Deckard was a baby, suggesting she's been a robot for at least 25 years. Cardamom and Violet have been waiting to wake up until Bee's dad comes back, and I'm guessing he has a lot to answer for.

38 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

Can we talk about this?

Chapman called them his family.

67 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

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113 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay so obviously this is not as offensive as Mexican week, or putting milk in challah and serving it at Passover, or Japanese week, because North-Americans-Who-Go-Camping is not a group of people who face discrimination in the UK, but Paul Hollywood saying that a S'more is a digestive biscuit, Italian meringue, dark chocolate, and should not be toasted to the point of melting is just.... what? I don't know how long it takes but they could make graham crackers and marshmallows from scratch. And I understand the need to have a dozen identical ones that are taste-tested much later than when a melty-gooey-s'more should be eaten means that maybe melting it would make it worse. But this is not a s'more:

And yes, I am falling for the outrage machine that is Twitter and haven't actuality watched the episode myself. But like, I enjoy chocolate covered Hobnobs and was sad when the local Scottish store stopped selling them (I was a kid at the time). But they are not a component of s'mores.

2,268 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #Still another three weeks left of 2022 but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.#What is the singular post I didn't tag???#My top two posts are stuff I stole from Twitter of course.#personal #My fandoms this year are Friends at the Table and Goncharov apparently.

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shirophantomvox · 3 years

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Random date night with Illumi, Hisoka, and Chrollo

Hello, anon! Ask and you shall receive! This prompt is very interesting and I will try to keep it in character as much as possible. To sum this up, Hisoka would take you to an ice cream shop, a carnival, or apple orchard while Illumi would rather go to an art or historical museum. Chrollo would persuade you to attend a book reading/author signing or go hiking. Depending on who you are and what your ideal date is, I’m sure you’d find them all fun. Going to a carnival or apple orchard is my go-to since I’ve barely been because they’re all in the suburbs. These headcanons are explained much more than the others. That is why Chrollo and Illumi seem to be short, but they’re not. Also, I can’t wait for Halloween because these headcanons are going to be amazing. I am extremely sorry if there are grammar errors! Taking classes on Zoom is frustrating and now my brain has to relearn everything that I lost in 3 months! Before we get started, I have a few announcements.

This post is more laid back than my other headcanons because I tried to keep it as canon as possible.

I want to thank you all for 65 followers! It means a lot! I’m happy to see that a lot of you enjoy my writing and like it enough to follow me! I have a challenge for you! When I reach 100 followers, I will host some type of writing event here...but I need ideas. I’ve seen some pages do specials where you can send an ask and pretend like you're talking to a character and I respond with what they’d say. SEND ME IDEAS! I WILL CREDIT YOU!

I will be stepping back a little more than before. I’ll still be logged in and re-blogging but as far as writing posts like this...it may only be once or twice a week. You see, I’m in college and I’m struggling financially and I have to work on scholarships. If you all send me an ask, be patient.

Voltron posts will only be created based on asks. I will not be writing posts about VLD if no one requests them. I do not receive any feedback from it anymore and no one seems to like them.

Now, let’s get into the post.

Let's start with Illumi first.

Headcanon 1: Illumi has a secret admiration for different types of art but he specifically enjoys pop art and surrealism. He has commented on how surrealism makes his brain twist and his feelings swirl as he tries to figure out the piece and what inspires it.

He prefers not to participate in tours as he likes to digest the art at his own pace.

Headcanon 2: In his spare time, he paints on a canvas. His art style consists of both surrealism and abstract art. For a person with a dark personality, his compositions always contain bright colors and abstract techniques that leave you wondering about his TRUE personality. He is truly a good man with a bright personality but after being abused for so long, those behaviors/personalities have been shoved so far down his throat that they may not come back up.

He has a bad habit of asking you what you thought about every single piece of art you passed. The conversations were great but this is a date after all. The playful conversation slowly turns into a lecture about art. Although you loved your bf’s dictionary-like brain it also drained your energy.

One of his favorite artists is Vincent Van Gough. Although he favors surrealism, Van Gogh’s art style was mind-blowing to him. So amazed that he buys several Van Gogh t-shirts from the gift shop.

His favorite piece created by Van Gough is “Starry Night”.

He notices that you are becoming bored and decides that it is time for MORE excitement, one that you are certain to enjoy.

“Where are we going,” you ask, pretending to be interested.

“Down to the basement. We are going to have a bite to eat.”

Since Illumi rarely smiled, when he did smile it drove you wild. The anticipation of what his next move was going to be is what drove that wildness. Being a bounty hunter was thrilling already but dating a smart, badass assassin was totally out of your league but it worked out.

Headcanon 3: Illumi’s idea of being romantic is dramatically different from yours. He believes just spending time with you on the couch was enough. He is correct; but if you have the time and funds, your time together should be a little spontaneous. You insisted on dates outside of the house because his family will not stay out of your business.

“Illumi, I am too hungry for more trivia.”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry. So am I. That is why I’ve decided to take you to a wine and cheese party.”

Huh? Wine and Cheese at 3PM? That’s ok. When was there a time limit on when you can drink alcohol?

Illumi has indirectly attended parties as such when he was 15 years old. He never drank, but he watched as his mother’s friends (surprisingly) talked about business and their children. This time, you weren’t going to talk about business for once. Instead, you two were going to actually talk about what couples discuss.

Headcanon 4: When introduced to alcohol for the first time, Illumi immediately stated how he hated brown liquor. That includes Hennessy, Jack Daniels, etc. It makes him sick to his stomach. He prefers to drink Smirnoff mixed with fruity drinks like strawberry or pineapple.

He loves it when you make these drinks for him on a summer day.

Hence the title wine and cheese, you both go to a stand-up table, place your brochures down, and actually have a wonderful conversation not involving work or hunting.

Illumi smiled a few times, more than usual. Whenever he appears to be softer even around you, that is because he has mellowed out and doesn't have the overbearing weight of his family on his shoulders. You set him free.

Hisoka

According to a one-shot that another manga artist created, they expressed that Hisoka was found on the side of the road, was taken in by someone that worked at a local circus, and learned Nen in a matter of days. Hisoka’s clown look and having the skills of a magician proves that this has to be canon in some way.

Headcanon 1: Given this potential backstory, going to a carnival is his go-to every summer. He wants to take you to a circus but saves that for you as an engagement gift.

Everyone with a heart knows that whether or not you’re in a relationship or not the carnival is fun as hell! Expensive fried food, elephant ears, funnel cake, ICEE’s, rides, and stuffed animals are to die for!

Being at a carnival relaxes him so his bloodlust isn’t activated unless someone bumps into him and causes a scene.

Headcanon 2: PDA is something that Hisoka does well; he doesn’t overdo it but does it enough where people get the impression that you are a couple and aren’t “best friends”.

While completing a mission depending on how rough it may be, he insists that you tag along to see how he handles the situation. You’ve already seen his ruthlessness from Hunter’s exam but he insists.

His sense of pride gets the best of him sometimes. Sometimes his head is so big that it reminds you of a large birthday balloon.

Headcanon 3: ANYWAY, given his nature, he is very adventurous, dangerous, and courageous. If he wants to go on the Demon Drop, he’ll do it and you DO not have a choice in the matter. He’ll tease or guilt trip you into doing something that you would not like to do.

“Well, you wouldn’t want me to cling on to someone else, would you?”

“No. Of course not,” you reply.

“Let’s go then, scaredy-cat.”

As a hunter, you’ve seen worse. Why are you so afraid to go on a ride?

Headcanon 4: At apple orchards, cornfield mazes are one of his favorites. You cannot for the life of you figure out how to get out but he can. He grabs a scarecrow and scares you from behind. That annoys you but is nothing compared to later on that night.

Oh. My. God. It’s haunted house time!

“Hisoka, I’m not going in!”

“Why not? I’ll protect you.”

“Because they’re monsters and I already have to deal with one.”

It took him a second to catch on that you were talking about him.

“That’s going to bite you in the butt, kitten.”

Headcanon 5: Like Killua, Hisoka has a sweet tooth. Don’t allow his buff appearance to fool you!

He LOVES caramel apples, elephant ears, funnel cake, freshly squeezed lemonade, fudge, and cotton candy. How can this man manage to stay in shape? The world may never know.

Headcanon 6: He isn’t one to play by other people’s rules but he sets his own rules with your relationship that you both must obey. One of those rules says that neither of you can be on your phones while together.

Headcanon 7: Hisoka insists that you both wear either matching pants or matching shirts to avoid unnecessary flirtation.

He isn’t jealous but on “us time”, he doesn’t want to lose a single second.

Headcanon 8: Hisoka only jumps in when necessary. Given that you’ve passed the hunter’s exam and work as a bodyguard, he knows you can handle your business. If the person can’t take a hint, then he steps in. They almost back up immediately considering Hisoka is towering over them.

When the moon shines, you both go to the car and off to sleep in your comfy king-sized bed.

Chrollo

We all know that Chrollo loves to read! What does he specifically like to read? What Genre? Does he like to read alone or with other people?

Although Chrollo is a thief and must be hidden in the shadows, the authorities have called off the search for him for at least 3 years. Slowly but surely, he begins to find himself in the outside world again.

Chrollo once discussed a book with the Phantom Troupe when they were being transported to another place for a mission. He read “Tears of a Tiger” by Sharon M. Draper.

The reading sessions are opened with an affirmation and a reason to be thankful to be alive. He says he is thankful for the troupe, glances at you, and smiles. No one catches on to that sly face except for Phinks.

Headcanon 1: Chrollo is very silent and shy to an extent. He only associates with people he knows and trusts. You are the social butterfly at this moment.

Chrollo tags along behind you like a shy child, holding your hand while you stick out your free hand to greet everyone.

Today, the book club was going to read “Divergent”.

Headcanon 2: Although he loves to read, he hates it when others read out loud. Most people are drably read and it annoys him. After a while, he takes over. Chrollo was tense the first 30 minutes of the meeting because two cops were there but neither of them noticed it was him.

Headcanon 3: Chrollo often acts the part of the character that he is reading in the book. His tone, attitude, and emphasis on certain words keep the group engaged. He is complimented on his acting!

“Good Job, honey,” you whisper.

He responds by tightly squeezing your hand.

His tone was so impressive that the host insisted that he read for the entire night. He was ok with that because in between reads he was often distracted by a lovely pair of jeans and shoes you had on. You were into writing, so hearing others read and act out the characters helped.

Headcanon 4: In some settings, Chrollo is very braggadocious. He insisted that the group read one of your stories so you could be provided with feedback.

“We’d be delighted to view your story, y/n!”

“It will be fun!”

The book club wasn’t a stereotypical club that only consisted of soccer moms but instead consisted of men and women who were involved with a business, law enforcement, health, etc. This was an open space for everyone to relax and forget about their demanding jobs.

After the meeting, the group went to dinner at a nearby pizzeria. You all enjoyed large pizzas, beer, salads, and dessert. How could your stomach (or anyone’s stomach) hold that much?

Chrollo laughed so much that it made you question if he was your actual boyfriend or not. He even engaged in conversations with the two off-duty cops! For once, you helped Chrollo experience the greater things in life; true love, friendship, and happiness.

“Thank you,” he whispered and slyly placed a kiss on your hand. “For everything.”

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riverxkeichains · 3 years

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4 Days Later, So Far...(UPDATE!!!)

WARNING: THIS IS LONG!

4 Days Later, After coming back from work? I looked at my Tumblr Account.

...

HoLySHIT!

I Didn't Expect This to happen So Far, I got 50+ likes? and Some Reblogs on my Mavis x Rosie Art? Omg...

*Screams, Cries of Joy*

I'M SHOOK, SURPRISED, AND I'M SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS AT THE SAME TIME!!

And you Know? I Think I got there So Far.

Okie Okie Sorry About that I got really Excited there, Because my other art and post either got little likes + Reblogs or Noun of them stuff, And This? I didn't really expect to get this much likes and some reblogs on my Mavis x Rosie Art ;;v;;.

Alright *takes a deep breath* Allow me to introduce myself For all time sake, For those of you Who don't Know? Hi My name is River K.C., However you can call me R.K.(Mainly), Rio, Keithlyn, Keith, Kei, R.K.C.M., or any nickname as long as it's not rude. I'm a user who post a lot of My Art for the most part, sometimes shitpost and Personal stuff(Not all, Since I rather not reveal most of them and Will for the most part, keep things a Secret. I'm very protective towards my Life and History, So NEVER EVER! ask me questions such as my age, my real name, or even asking me to do a face reveal -.-, So Please Don't ask me those type of personal questions~). As of Recently I've been getting a Tons of likes, Some Reblogs, on my Recent Art and Honestly I can't Thank you all enough. This Is just Beautiful, Like Really Beautiful, That I didn't expect That I would get This much Likes. Like I said from the started I haven't get too much likes on any post form my other stuff for a very long time. Before I made this account I was once formerly using keixblade, Reason why I didn't uses Account anymore because I felt like I need a new Fresh Start of my blog and Things have been changing over the Years so That's why I decided to make a new blog and you know after making a new blog I've been starting to post again, such as my previous art, older post, welcoming myself, and I started to finally reblog for the first time which I haven't done in my old previous account. After that, I checked out my favorite artist, have plans to follow them soon. I don't usually post at the weeks but I'll definitely try my best to post my stuff at the weekends, You know Saturday, Sunday, But Sometimes Friday, I might be able to sometime post on the week of I had the free time to do so.

Story Time~! Before I made this Account and During Late March 2021, when I started to have some interest in TTTE for the first time, I looked up at some websites to research on the series and watched abit of Episodes about it(Thanks to Steve' Reviews Tugs, Thomas for PS1(Highly Recommend you all check it out if you had the JP PlayStation or an Emulator ;), and a Fan Animation That I won't tell because I'll talk about this in the Future, it's that one Fan Animation that I'll give a review on soon it's a pretty controversial one 😅 Yeah you know Exactly Why I'm Talking about, So DON'T Bash on me for this) So far It's Interesting, For the most part I Mostly got some Thomas info from the Wiki, Reddit, and Tumblr as well. When I did got to Tumblr, I check out some of the TTTE Art Most of them that I came across from my experience are really good :) But out of all the artist in the site? One Actually caught my interest and decided to check their blog out, their art is Beautiful and how amazing their Humanized Version of TTTE style is. And that blog I'm talking about is none other than @asktrio516, I always looked up to them, so much so that this was before when I started to come back to tumblr to started fresh. This blog gave me so much nostalgic feelings for some reason, not because of Thomas But Because of the human Version of these Characters, In Fact? This isn't my First Time That I look up to an artist for their art and for their humanized version form Another Show I'll take about soon(I Even alot of Fanart of this person's Human Version of these Characters, Again will make a separate post about it). So 2 months after Getting into Thomas for real, I saw the asktrio516 blog posting the Official Ships in their blog, Obviously I was very Excited when I saw it and In Fact? I Actually Loved Most of these Pairing that is Featured in this posted(Stay Tuned for the next post ;))). After reading the post, I saw one Pairing that Interested me and it was Mavis × Rosie, I always have this feeling that ngl? I always see them being together and wish they can have some Screen Time Together(Yes I know What's Going on but we don't Talk about that Disaster...yet....😤.....Damnit just God Damn You Mattle). So For A while? I've actually been planning on making an Mavis and Rosie Drawing in Emma's TTTE Human Designs. So it only took a quite for a while to get there, Reason I didn't do this sooner because of work, I had to help with my Friend, and I was very nervous yet shy at doing Mavis and Rosie being together at first. Thankfully with enough confidences and encouragement? In August, I ask the asktrio516 admin on Instagram if I can Asked something on tumblr, Fortunately they respond with yes(Honestly I was so Happy About It 😁) so at the same month, That's where I officially got my new Tumblr Account since I felt like my old Account is a bit dated and This is where I also have the confidence to ask the asktrio516 admin if I can draw Mavis with Rosie being together(Since Again they mentioned of having interested of doing this ship) and That's how the story goes c:.

I Really Apologize This is this So Frickin Long!

...

Again I Have to Thank all you all for the Likes and Reblog of my Mavis x Rosie Art for asktrio516 blog~ It really Means alot, and I definitely have to Thank asktrio516 She's one of my Inspiration and i'm glad they accept my permission for doing this art(I'm sorry but Thank you so Much and Also Happy Birthday Emma 🥳).

You know Because of that? I might post some more Thomas the Tank Engine stuff soon and Even at some point? Might make a Full on TTTE Side Account for both Normal and my TTTE AU(Since There's at times that I will posted other things that isn't Thomas related(Also more info of my TTTE AU Coming Soon-) Heck! I might do some more TTTE Ships Later, If there's a high demand for them from Me? I might able to do Murdoch × Arthur, Gordon × BoCo, Proteus × Lady, and Hiro × Henry Next(4 of one of my Favorite Underrated Pairings, there's more I will do but for now I'm putting the ones that people haven't heard of or haven't talked about that much, Yet~ ;;))).

Hell! I might even do my favorite popular Thomas the Tank Engine pairing soon.

(Don't ask why because I'll make a expiration soon on why I love them but for now, There's just something that They have in my taste of shipping)

Thank you for Reading this and Have a great day, Goodbye~☆.

#riverxkeichains #River's Post #River's Update #asktrio516 #about me #introducing myself...Again #keixblade #ttte #shipping #Coming Soon ;))))#a thank you note

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kaaras-adaar · 3 years

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Repost, don’t reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name: Owl Nickname: K, Kmod Age: Old Faceclaim: I am a fun sized owl. Pronouns: He/him Height: 5′3 Birthday: October Aesthetics: Punk, mohawks, leather boots, deep reds, birds, knights, armour, space, owls, metal music

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: Kaaras is going to have to be my favourite. He’s just... so much to me now, and we’ve grown so much together. He’s made me so happy, I’ve met so many people through him, and had so many wonderful experiences with him as well. He’s just been a blessing. DA helped me out of a huge depression of my life, and I will never forget that. Kaaras is my knight in shining armour at times, even if that sounds lame lol.

I would say my second is Tobi over on my multi. I love getting to write an antagonistic muse, and I originally wrote antagonists when I first began writing, so I have MISSED that. I love Kaaras and how kind and loving he is, but I just REALLY like writing antagonists. I love getting to be dark and gritty with all the details and I get to do that again with Tobi.

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): Originally, Kaaras’ blog was made for me to post my playthrough with him. I have a friend who didn’t play games but was interested in him, so I made this blog as basically an archive for all of my art, writing and playthrough vids of him. Someone asked if they could write with me, and I said yes. I was hesitant to, since my last RP experience was pretty dull and boring on here from my last fandom, but people really took to Kaaras. And he’s just grown more and more, each day, thanks to everyone <3 6 years later and still going :)

What are your favourite aspects of your current muse: That he loves his job as Inquisitor. Honestly, I don’t see many people writing Inquisitor’s that take their role as purpose and duty like Kaaras does, and I think that makes him unique. He doesn’t feel burdened by his role, and if he does, he is thankful no one else has to carry it. So, I believe that Kaaras FITS the role of Inquisitor really well, and that’s something that I love about him, but I’m also so damn proud of him because of it as well.

I also love that he comes off as this really kind and loving person, but he takes forever to get to know. It means its hard and relationships with him take a really long time to grow, but I like that. I love growth and slow burn. I love getting to still learn new things about him, even though I’ve been writing him for such a long time. I love seeing how blunt he is at times, and how he embarrasses me with his terrible dad jokes and when he’s overly romantic that it makes my heart sick and I feel like I’m going to die from sugar overload. I love that he’s moody, even though it sends me insane at times because I never know what the problem is. I love that Kaaras is KAARAS. He’s himself, and I have no control over anything he does anymore. I love that he is himself, and that makes him so much realer for me.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: For one, my passion for my muses, and the world around me--I get inspiration from any source I can get. Most of all, though, it’s all of you guys and your amazing muses. You’ve made Kaaras grow, you’ve inspired me to toss him into so many situations and force him to deal with things so he CAN grow. And sometimes that makes him take a step back, but that’s still character growth, even if it’s been a struggle for us mods in the background.

Favourite types of threads: Anything that makes our characters grow. I LOVE slow burning romances. But I also love fluff and angst, and horror and just DOMESTIC things. I love all threads. <3 I love seeing him laugh, cry, break, angry, everything. I also love when things are awkward and uncomfortable. Kaaras can’t get along with everyone, but that doesn’t mean we can’t write together. I like that challenge, and I like getting to see all the different sides of Kaaras, which isn’t always possible depending on other muses.

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: His moods. It will always be his moods, and sometimes his moral high ground. Sometimes Kaaras is (to be blunt) a snob... His morals can make it seem like he’s on a high horse, and putting others down. I find that can be a challenge because I don’t want mods to take it personally, Kaaras is just... like that. But his mood swings are also very intense sometimes that he can be happy one second and then internally fuming the next. As a mod, it impacts me more than most might things since I’m a very empathetic person, and I get very in touch with the characters I write, I want to put myself in their shoes so I can write them the best I can, but that at times does mean mood shifts can be a challenge. Also, I just don’t like making mods uncomfortable, but it’s a part of RP. Just know that mod =/= muse :)

Tagged by: From my old blog Tagging: @lathsuledin @theharellan @chiefambassador @trevelyanmagic @many-tales-told

#The mod #Dash games

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thewhizzyhead · 5 years

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SIX BROADCAST FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS

Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to all you ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof. Welcome back to ACCESS (360) Three-SIX-ty, your access to real time SIX news. Due to unfortunate scheduling delays, this edition of ACCESS (360) Three-SIX-ty was delayed for nearly 2 weeks. To compensate for this delay, ACCESS (360) will be covering everything that has occurred within the past 16 days. On the other hand, I am pleased to announce that ACCESS (360) Three-SIX-ty will be a regular feature on this blog. Expect new editions every two weeks, every month, or whenever the SIX Fandom ultimately decides to go batshit crazy (scheduling may vary). AND NOW FOR THE HEADLINES: + FOR FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE MORE MINUTE- Former SIX: The Musical alternate and swing queen Grace Mouat bids the SIX West End company farewell as she took her final bow on the SIX stage last Sunday, August 18th. Ever since her first appearance as Katherine Howard, one of her first covers aside from Catherine of Aragon, in West End Live 2018, she has donned all SIX crowns throughout her entire run, starting with last year’s U.K tour which ended last December 30th in Glasgow, up to SIX’s current run at the Art’s Theatre which officially began this January, sharing the tracks with the then-new alternates and swings Vicki Manser and Courtney Stapleton. She had announced her decision to leave SIX months prior to her last scheduled show in order to star in &Juliet, a new British musical based on Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet that will premiere on the West End at Shaftesbury Theatre on November 2; aside from being part of the ensemble, she will also be covering the titular character Juliet as her first cover. Grace’s departure was made even the more heartbreaking with her last Megasix as all the cast members (sans Natalie May Paris, who was on vacation at the time being) including alternates Vicki Manser and Courtney Stapleton all went on the stage to express their love and support for the young star, sharing speeches and tear-filled hugs. The writers Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss, the SIX West End queens and the queendom alike all flooded social media with appreciation posts all dedicated to the Swing Queen Grace Mouat, who, as of August 30, has been nominated as Best Understudy for the West-End Wilma Awards along with Maiya Quansah Breed, who was been nominated as Rising Star. + ALTERNATES AND UNDERSTUDIES FILL THE SWINGO CARD - The Queendom is to expect new covers and takes on the 6 wives of Henry VIII as more and more alternates don the crowns. The first one to complete the SWING BINGO ever since Grace Mouat’s departure is Vicki Manser, who has finally portrayed her third covers within the last two weeks; she made her debut as Jane Seymour on August 18th’s matinee performance, and as Catherine of Aragon last 30th of August. Courtney Stapleton surprised everyone with an Anne Boleyn debut last August 24th for both the matinee and the evening performance. To add to that, she has recently announced on her Twitter and Instagram accounts that Coleyn will indeed make a return on the evening performances on the 5th and 12th of September, along with the long-awaited Courtney Howard debut next week, which is scheduled on the 8th and 12th of September. Shekinah McFarlane, SIX’s newest alternate, has made her Cleves debut last August 15th and her Aragon debut last August 24th alongside Courtney Boleyn. Collette Guitart, on the other hand, has made speedy progress on her Swingo Card as SIX’s understudy. In merely a month, she has already portrayed 4 of the 6 queens: she had her debut as a SIX understudy, playing Jane Seymour last July 30th,her Boleyn debut coming shortly thereafter, portrayed Aragon for the first time on August 15th alongside Shekinah McFarlane’s debut, and had her latest debut as Catherine Parr with her own costume last August 30th alongside Vicki Aragon. However, there have been no announced dates so far for the debuts of SIX’s new alternate trio: Hana Stewart, Cherelle Jay and Zara Macintosh. On the SIXcago side of the world, Nicole Kyoung Mi Lambert has recently made her debut as Anna of Cleves last Monday, August 26th. There has been no news of recent debuts for Mallory Maedke however, having only covered Boleyn and Seymour so far. + SIXCAGO’S ARAGON APOLOGIZES FOR LIKING AND FOLLOWING HOMOPHOBIC POSTS AND ACCOUNTS - Adrianna Hicks, who plays Catherine of Aragon in the SIX U.S Tour, has received a tremendous amount of backlash for liking homophobic posts made by many church organizations on Instagram. Fans have also noticed that her account follows the Instagram accounts of said organizations, such as Bethel Church and the Changed Movement, both of which advocate heavily on conversion therapy ideals and generally the idea that ‘homosexuality can be erased’. According to those who have messaged her on Instagram, she has responded with the exact same message to all accounts and has blocked some when asked further about this topic. Ever since then, she has made a post on Instagram apologizing for her actions, stating that she thought the posts were promoting love and acceptance for the LGBTQ+ community. She ends the post wishing that she’d be forgiven while she continues to learn and grow as an ally for the LGBTQ+ community. She no longer follows the accounts and has removed the likes on their posts. In other news, she briefly left the SIXcago tour productions to star in the Sacramento Music Circus production of “The Wiz” as Dorothy from August 6th-11th, with Nicole Kyoung Mi Lambert playing Catherine of Aragon in her stead. She returned to SIX shortly thereafter. + ROYAL FLASH MOB, ATTENDED BY THE QUEENS AND THE QUEENDOM - Thousands of SIX fans, young and old, flocked together on the 31st of August, excitedly awaiting for official start of the Royal Flash Mob at exactly midday in front of the Tower of London ticket offices, wherein the attendees will perform the choreography of “SIX”. In preparation, the plan for flash mob was announced beforehand on the 24th of August by the queens, along with a tutorial to the choreography of “SIX” featuring SIX’s choreographer Carrie-Anne Ingrouille and SIX alternate Vicki Manser. On the day of the event while everyone was eagerly waiting and singing along to “SIX”, the queens were being paraded on their mini carriages (sans Alexia Mcintosh; Shekinah McFarlane stood in for Cleves) on their way to the venue whilst Courtney Stapleton, Vicki Manser, Collette Guitart, and new alternate Zara Macintosh, who has yet to make her SIX debut, also arrived to the scene. The queens led the flash mob along with some other professional dancers to guide the attendees throughout the whole song. + NO MEGASIXES AT BOSTON THEATER - Complete and utter shock came to the SIXcago fans as the iconic filming of the megasix has been prohibited by the American Repertory Theater. The theater’s ushers had announced either before the show or before the megasix itself that no phones should be out and all photography and filming in the theater is not allowed. One line in particular during the megasix was changed to fit this: from “Get your phones out, you’re gonna wanna hear this!” to “Tag/Text your friends, they’re gonna wanna see this!”. According to the ushers, this was due to some copyright issues within the theater and the Ladies In Waiting’s band union. However, the copyright issue is said to be fixed within the next weeks, therefore the tradition of recording the megasixes will most probably return sooner in September. AND NOW FOR ACCESS (360) THREE-SIX-TY’S NEW AND EXCLUSIVE SECTION: (harmonizes) (gay rights) (gay rights) (gay rights) (GAY RIGHTS) GAY RIGHTS + POWER COUPLE COURTNEY STAPLETON AND ELOISE DAVIES CELEBRATE THEIR BIRTHDAYS - SIX alternate Courtney Stapleton and Eloise Davies, Grease: The Musical U.K Tour’s spend a lovely week together celebrating their birthdays. The queendom swooned over the couples’s overall sweetness as the two spoil each other with guitars and vinyls, with Eloise celebrating her birthday first last August 20th and Courtney celebrating her 26th exactly a week later on the August 27th. The birthday week culminated with a birthday sportsfest and picnic attended by family and friends, including SIX’s Maiya Quansah Breed. Understudy Collette Guitart has also celebrated her birthday recently, turning 22 on the 30th of August, being the youngest queen among the West End Cast. + SUNDAY FAVOURITE’S ROSTER OF GUEST STARS LIST PILES UP - More and more recognizable theatre stars announce their upcoming appearance on Aimie Atkinson’s show called “Sunday Favourites” scheduled on the 15th of September at The Other Palace. Earlier in July Aimie had announced that her girlfriend (and SIX’s Studio Cast’s Cleves) Genesis Lynea and friend John Deepmore will be joining her along with Gabriela Garcia and Sarah Naudi, both of which were in the 2016 U.K production of “In The Heights” with Aimie. SIX’s Studio Cast’s Renee Lambert and Christine Modestou, who have played Aragon and Boleyn respectively, are also to join the show. Sam Pauly, SIXCago’s first Katherine Howard, and Annabel Dicaprio, student run’s K Howard, will also be making guest appearances on the 15th. Jodie Steele is the latest West End actress to be announced as part of the Star Roster. Ticket’s for Atkinson’s show are still on sale on The Other Palace’s website for those interested in viewing the two-hour show. AND THAT’S ALL THE HEADLINES WE HAVE GATHERED FOR TODAY. KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED FOR MORE ISSUES AND BROADCASTS TO COME. ONCE AGAIN, THIS IS ACCESS (360) THREE-SIX-TY, YOUR ACCESS TO REAL TIME SIX NEWS. (credits to @qualquercoisa945, @insertmusicaltheatrepunhere and @aimielynea for helping me out with the info thanks mates!)

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mikunology · 5 years

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On the past year...

I just want to think out loud for a bit...

Rin and Len’s birthday is tomorrow, and I’ve just been thinking...wow, a lot of stuff has happened this year. I graduated high school, I went to college for the first time, I took my first real art class, I did a lot of things I didn’t expect to do.

I really didn’t expect Mikunology or Incorrect Vocal Android Quotes to sorta blow up?? Incorrect was really just a silly blog I started because I had seen similar blogs and I thought it would be funny to 1) make a Vocaloid one since there weren’t any that were updating regularly, and 2) try to straighten out my own headcanons by distinctly making a quotes blog set in a sort of “universe”. I didn’t have any rhythm or rhyme to it, I just posted what I personally thought would be hilarious and left it at that. But then everyone else thought it was really funny, too, and soon I had a ton of people following it, and people asking me questions and stuff. I already was planning a Vocaloid story of my own (Vocal Android) and it was something I liked making, but it was kind of a side project thing, because I really wanted to make my own cartoons and I wanted to focus on developing my own characters. These days things have switched; I’m working on Vocaloid all the time now and have been working on my original cartoons on the side.

I also started regularly posting art here. As I’ve said before, I used to be really scared to post Vocaloid art--I call myself a cartoonist, but I wasn’t sure how people would react to a cartoonily-drawn Miku or Rin and Len...I was really scared people would say it’s crap or that Miku should be drawn anime style, not cartoon, but I distinctly remember putting up that giant page of Miku poses and seeing people tag it as “art goals” or “cool art” or “you draw her so cute!” and thinking, wow, this wasn’t what I expected. I’ve gotten better at drawing Miku and pals since then, but I still love hearing so many folks tell me that my cartoony ol’ Miku looks cool or cute or animated, because it reminds me that I should stop putting myself down so often, ahahah ^^”

Miku and friends have been part of my life since 2009 (I was 9, I’ll be 19 in a month), and have helped me through many things, including the times I was ready to just give up. I admit that Vocal Android is in part something made because that’s just how I kinda ended up seeing the characters and wanted to make something until I struck big with my own cartoons, but now I see it as just me making this series as a way to sort of thank the Vocaloids for inspiring me like they have. Heck, I wouldn’t even HAVE my original cartoons without them--my original universe and my original flagship character Mocha were inspired by a Millstones album, so I guess I have to thank Miku for that, too XD But nonetheless, I’m really working hard on the story for Vocal Android so that it’ll be good, because I want that love to be felt when I (eventually) make it a real comic. (Though, I gotta admit, wouldn’t be cool to be allowed to make Vocal Android a real cartoon show, considering I handle it like one? :>)

Thanks to me making Vocal Android and getting more into it, I’ve made a lot of connections, too, and met a lot of people I didn’t even expect to meet...I’m still really surprised that the PR manager for mikumikuebooks, Camellia, and beat_shobon follow me on Twitter now :’D I’ve made so many new friends, and seen so many stunning portrayals of the Vocaloids that I wouldn’t have been able to imagine myself, and I’ve been able to put myself out there, and I’ve been really happy, even amongst my typical self-deprecation that’s just second nature to me at this point (I’m gonna work on that in 2019). I’ve gotten more confident in my art, even by a little bit, and I’ve figured out better ways to make art and draw. Maybe sometime I can...yknow...get back into storyboarding again like 11-year-old me used to. XD

I’m just so thankful. I really didn’t get much for Christmas, this year, but I feel like that’s okay, because I got so many things like this. This is a really sappy essay but it’s the truth, I couldn’t be more glad to be part of this community and fandom, even despite the tumblr shenanigans and bad apples. And I couldn’t be more thankful to have met Hatsune Miku and Kagamine Rin and Len.

Rin and Len’s birthday is tomorrow, so I have a really special surprise to put up soon. But I just wanted to get down some thoughts. I’m really thankful for my friends, and for the people who follow Incorrect VA, and for the people who watch for my art. I wouldn’t be here without your support. I look forward to whatever happens in 2019, and I hope everyone has had a wonderful Christmas, and WILL have a great and wonderful new year!

#updates #i just really wanted to talk for a while i'm sorry this is so long #i've just felt really passionate #thanks for being here with me everyone!#let's work towards the new year!#and merry late christmas

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mayquita · 5 years

Text

Pictures of Reality (13/16)

Merry Christmas everyone!! This week has passed almost without realizing it but we’re already here, with a new chapter of PoR. As always, thank you so much for all your support and for continuing to give this story a chance.

Summary: Emma Swan returns to her birthplace, Storybrooke, in search of a fresh start after a life marked by abandonment and betrayal. After a year there, she finds the stability she needed and also the possibility of learning about one of her passions, photography. Killian Jones, a former British war reporter with a tragic past, establishes himself in the same town as an instructor of photography, following in the footsteps of his best friends, the Nolans. What will happen when their paths cross? Will their common passion for photography help them heal old wounds?

Rating: M (Language, mature themes, implied sex)

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, mentions of the loss of a limb in an armed conflict.

Other ships / Characters: Although, obviously, this is a cs fic, Snowing plays a major role here, mainly David. In fact, the story contains three different points of view, those of Emma, Killian and David. Also, Henry appears in the story as Regina’s adopted son but he is not Emma’s biological son.

Beta: I’d like to express my gratitude, as always, to my beta @jarienn972 I’m aware that you have had to deal with a monster of more than 100k words and English is not my mother tongue, so I value your effort even more.

Artist / art: Go visit @imagnifika’s blog and enjoy her amazing art. The art that accompanies this chapter includes one of Emma's post on her Instagram account. I’ve added it at the end, for reasons...

Art for the prologue/ Art for chapter 1 / Art for chapter 2 and banner / Art for chapter 3/ Art for chapters 4-5 / Art for chapters 6-7/ Art for chapter 8 / Art for chapter 10 / Art for chapter 11 / Art for chapter 12

Special mention to @saraswans , thank you so much for your perpetual support, for believing in me when I doubted myself and for offering ideas to make this story grow.

Don’t forget to go read and enjoy the rest of the amazing csbb stories and art.

Word count: ~ 7800 (116k total in 16 chapters)

Also on (From the beginning): Ao3 / Ffnet (Current Chapter) Ao3 / Ffnet

Tumblr: Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11

What to expect from this chapter? This is one of my favorites. In fact, it includes two of my favorite scenes from the whole story. David is involved in the first one. As for the other one… you’ll have to read it…

CHAPTER 12

My dearest Emma,

You probably would be surprised because today is not your birthday, Christmas or any other special event, but I felt the need to bare my soul and I have not found a better way to do it than through you, my dear daughter.

I may be a fool after so many years apart, but I still hold the almost vain hope that someday these letters, these little confessions in the form of written words will come to you. That's why I will not hesitate to continue writing to you until I exhale my last breath, Emma.

And I need you today, I need to hold on to something stable when my whole world falters and despair threatens to take hold of me, while I feel helpless, unable to protect my loved ones.

I have already talked to you on more than one occasion about Killian and how I have felt guilty several times because my paternal instinct, that which should have been destined to you, was directed instead towards that child who is now a grown man. On the contrary, my desire to protect him has not changed in the least as he grew up. When misfortune seems to prey on him, hit him again and again, my protective instinct grows.

That is why now the feeling of failure is more intense. Killian lost his love yesterday in tragic circumstances and my wife, your mother, lost a great friend. And I was unable not only to prevent it from happening but also I don’t know how can I comfort them, how can I help them when the pain is also consuming me inside.

It is hard to see how the flame of Killian's eyes is slowly disappearing without you being able to do anything to fan it. What can I do, Emma? How can I help my friend? My family?

I desperately hope that wherever you are, your life is full and that you have found happiness. Otherwise, what would be the point that we had spent all these years away from you if we didn’t manage to give you your best chance? I don’t know if I could bear the thought of failing you as well even more than we did when you were born.

As I told you in the rest of the letters, I keep thinking about you every day and I keep fantasizing about the idea that you and we are destined to meet sooner or later. Who knows? Maybe it's not too late for us or for Killian. Maybe one day we get to be a complete family. Until then, my best wishes go to you,

Your father who loves you deeply and who never forgets you,

David.

David Nolan. Storybrooke - March 1, 2018

"Emma, are you inside?" David knocked on the door again, with no response. Still, he didn’t want to give up now that he had come this far. "I've talked to Henry. I know you're home."

After a few more seconds of waiting, the door was still closed and there were no signs of Emma. Maybe she is taking a shower, he thought of a failed attempt to convince himself. Reluctant to leave without at least making one last attempt, he rested his ear against the smooth surface, trying to pick up any sound, however subtle, that told him Emma was indeed there.

Maybe it was his imagination, but he seemed to sense the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. That was all he needed. "Okay, then." A sigh of resignation escaped his lips. "I would have preferred this conversation to unfold without any barrier between us, but I suppose this is better than nothing."

He placed the box on the floor next to him as he stood in front of the door, his forehead and the palm of his right hand resting on the wooden surface. He swallowed, dragging down the lump in his throat and closed his eyes for a moment, pulling himself together before beginning to speak.

"I... I didn't come here to apologize, nor to excuse any of our acts. I hope... I really hope we have the opportunity to continue this conversation when you feel ready."

David paused, waiting for some reaction from Emma. Still nothing. He pinched the bridge of his nose as the shadow of doubt crossed his mind fleetingly, making him question whether it was really worth continuing or was just a waste of time. He came to the conclusion that, although he didn't get any response from Emma, at least he would be able to expel those thoughts from his system.

"I'd like to talk about Killian today. I'm aware that you're mad at him, I... we understand your reasons. Our behavior was certainly inexcusable and it seems that we make one mistake after another in relation to you."

The grip of guilt and regret had not loosened the pressure on his heart over the years, on the contrary, from time to time it took a swipe at him, causing a bleeding wound difficult to plug. For that reason, he was forcing himself to defend his friend, as a way of putting a bandage on his wounded heart, as a means of atoning for his sins.

"He had no idea of your identity when he started the course. We didn't know you were going to attend either, so I guess it was just a matter of chance that you two crossed paths."

He breathed out on a shaky exhale before continuing, while he hoped to keep his voice stable enough now that the most painful part of his explanation was coming. "We... I took advantage in a certain way when he was at a low and vulnerable moment to ask him for help. Now I see that I should never have put him in that situation. You were our responsibility, not his. He has had that pressure on him, the idea of being a burden for us, of not being enough. I suppose that although, in a selfish way, I thought I was offering him the possibility of feeling useful. How wrong I was..."

David paused again as he pressed back his ear against the door. This time he did hear something, it wasn't his imagination. It was the sound of something or someone slipping down from the smooth surface, as if a person had been leaning against the door and was letting its body slide down. He imitated the position he thought Emma was keeping on the other side of the door and sat on the floor, aiming to be even closer to her.

"Confiding our secret and asking him to help us get to know you were a burden for him, reaching the point that he felt unable to handle the situation and was willing to leave to give us more time to figure out how to tell you the truth."

Once he had started with that exercise of sincerity he could not stop. "Regina told us about your past... Emma, I know I said earlier that I wasn't going to deal with that topic today, but let me tell you just this, I'm so deeply sorry..." David blinked a couple of times, holding back the tears that threatened to fall. "If I had known that you were going through this ordeal we... I don't know, there's no point lamenting now. We... we just were terrified of ruining everything you had achieved here in Storybrooke if we told you the truth."

David was aware that his voice sounded broken but also honest. He expected Emma to at least appreciate that. "It turned out that we ended up doing just that, not only with you, but with Killian." Before continuing, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Despite the inner struggle that Killian has been carrying these months, I had never seen him as happy as when he was with you. His gaze had regained its vivacity after so many years, so I beg you not to close the door to him for good. I'm certain that you are both meant to be together and I would never forgive myself for having cut off the wings of your future. I know that I'm placing a responsibility on you that you don't deserve but, if you feel the same for him, as I suspect you do, I only ask you to give him at least one chance to explain himself."

He rested the palm of his hand on the door, caressing the surface while he imagined it was his daughter whom he caressed in an attempt to comfort her. "Thanks for listening to me, Emma." He whispered as his gaze fell on the box he had brought. "You may not believe it or even find it insulting, but since I had the opportunity to see you for the first time when you were just a newborn baby, I never stopped thinking of you. You've always been with me, Emma, both in my mind and in my heart. When you open the door you will find proof of my words."

No sound or movement came from the other side of the door. After letting out a deep sigh, David finally got up and started walking away from the door, feeling that with each step he took, he moved further away from his soul, leaving it hidden in a box in the middle of a lonely hallway.

Only when he went outside and was hit by a cold breeze did he realize that his cheeks were wet from the tears that had finally escaped his eyes.

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - March 1, 2018

Emma remained in the same position, sitting on the floor, her back and her head resting against the front door of her apartment for what seemed like hours, as she let the tears fall freely down her cheeks.

By the time she had heard David's voice on the other side of the door, she had felt paralyzed, unable to react at first. Slowly, a wave of mixed feelings had begun to take hold of her. She wasn't prepared to listen to revelations about her origins or to relive her terrible experiences as an orphan. For that reason, she hadn't opened the door, but David's voice had attracted her like a magnet, so she had stayed there all the time, assimilating his words while her heart constricted in her chest.

His voice had given off a raw honesty that Emma had not expected. Even so, her anger had increased when her suspicions were confirmed through David’s words. Killian had been just another victim, who had made wrong decisions, but excusable because of the complex position in which he had found himself.

She could not forgive them, not yet, not when his confession and the little glimpses he had dropped were too painful to ignore.

But she had also been unable to stop her emotions, and after squeezing her eyes closed in an unsuccessful attempt to keep the tears for falling, she had finally given up. At least she had managed to swallow the sob bubbling in the back of her throat, both hands covering her mouth, forcing herself to remain silent.

She waited a few more minutes, terrified at the thought of opening the door and finding that David was still there. When she thought that more than enough time had passed for him to leave, she finally got up, but before opening the door, she looked through the peephole to make sure that the hall was empty.

There was something on the landing when she finally dared to open the door, a cardboard box, its size a little larger than a shoe box, with an inscription written in an elegant cursive on the lid of the box: Letters to Emma from her father, 1989-2018.

Quickly, she grabbed the box, feeling its touch on the tips of her fingers as if it burned, and went to her bedroom, putting it in the most hidden corner of her closet, while her heart pounded in her chest, warm tears gliding again down her cheeks.

She did not feel strong enough to deal with the content of those letters. She wasn't even sure that she would ever be able to do it.

There was something she was sure of though. She needed Killian, she missed him terribly, and after his friend's confession, her willingness to listen to his own explanations had increased. But before, she needed to sleep, that rollercoaster of emotions that she was experiencing since last Monday was taking a toll on her, leaving her so exhausted that she felt like her brain was unable to properly process everything that was happening.

Killian Jones. Storybrooke - March 3, 2018

The nerves gripped Killian's stomach as he rubbed the palm of his hand on his pants to wipe the sweat. He was there, in front of Emma's apartment trying to gain enough confidence to knock on the door. David’s experience in this same place two days ago made him hesitant, despite how he longed to see her again and only this small barrier separated them physically.

David hadn't offered him any details of his unexpected visit to Emma's apartment, only that Emma hadn't opened the door to him even though he was certain that she had been home at that moment.

Killian had also learned for the first time the existence of the letters that David had written to Emma throughout her life. His heart ached for his friend. He could not even imagine the suffering he had carried all these years, so he hoped that those letters would have an effect on Emma, if only to give them the opportunity to explain themselves.

But he would have to leave those worries for another time. Right now, he had to carry out his own mission. His jaw clenched, a sharp intake of breath coming through his teeth before he finally decided to knock on the door.

To his surprise, Emma opened the door before he even had time to process it. Suddenly, he found himself face to face with her and all rational thought vanished from his mind, while his throat closed preventing him from making any sound.

"Hi." Her lips drew an awkward smile, but at least her expression was softer than the last time he had seen her. While she watched him, a thin crease appeared between her brows. "You look horrible."

"Hey." A sound that seemed like a croak escaped his lips. He cleared his throat, hoping to get his voice back as he reached out to scratch behind his ear. "I can't say the same about you, Swan. You look beautiful, as always."

He wasn't lying. Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy braid falling over her right shoulder, her face was fresh, no trace of makeup, and although he could detect a slight reddish hue around her eyes, the green of her gaze was as intense as ever. The soft pink blush that appeared on her cheeks after hearing his words only caused her natural beauty to increase.

His surprise grew when she, far from looking defensive or cautious, stepped aside while offering him a shy smile. "Come in."

The corners of his lips rose slightly in an attempt at a smile as he passed by her side and entered her apartment with somewhat hesitant steps. Emma's attitude had caught him completely off guard. Instead of her being belligerent or distant, he had met a cordial Emma who at least seemed willing to listen to him.

"Would you like something to drink? Coffee? Tea? Something stronger?" She asked as she made her way to the kitchen.

"A tea would be fine. Thank you, love." While waiting for Emma to return, Killian took off his jacket and placed it on the rack next to the door, then went to the couch where he sat on the edge of the seat, feeling the nerves gripping his stomach with even more pressure.

Emma returned a few minutes later, holding two steaming cups in her hands. She handed one of them to Killian before sitting on the other side of the couch, keeping a proper distance between them, but her torso turned slightly toward him as she held the cup of what he thought was hot chocolate with both hands.

An awkward silence fell over them while they pretended to be very busy with their respective drinks. A weird thought crossed his mind then, as he watched Emma hold the steaming cup in her hands. His gaze shifted to his prosthesis while he thought of the advantage of the absence of touch there. No matter how hot his cup was, he could always use his prosthesis to hold it, thus protecting his only hand from possible burns.

"Your friend David came here two days ago." Emma's voice broke the silence, freeing him from those weird thoughts.

"Aye, he told me." He nodded in a tentative motion, not quite sure that he liked the way their conversation had just started.

"Did he also tell you that he talked to me through the door? It was more like a monologue, as I guess you have already figured out." Emma's face remained impassive, though Killian detected a subtle hint of bitterness in her words. He suspected that the mention of David was intentional. Maybe it was her way of telling him that she knew some details in advance before he had to explain himself? And why wouldn't David have told him anything about that conversation — or rather monologue?

"No, I didn't know." He admitted. "He just told me that he gave you the letters he's been writing to you since you were born..."

"I don't want to talk about that right now." Emma cut him off abruptly. Killian was aware he had taken the wrong step when a stormy shadow crossed her gaze, darkening her features.

Again the silence fell over them, while they finished their drinks and left the empty cups on the coffee table. Emma pressed her lips together in a thin line as she rubbed her forehead with one hand. Then, she raised her gaze, looking for his. "What did you come for, Killian?" She asked through a whisper.

The moment of truth has come, Killian thought as he took a deep breath in an attempt to gain enough self-confidence to bare his soul once more in front of her.

"I didn't have the opportunity to explain myself the other day, you know... I've come to ask you to allow me to offer my explanation of everything that has happened. I only ask you to listen to me, Swan." Killian's eyes bored into hers, while he held his breath, waiting for her reaction.

Emma held his gaze for a few seconds, her lashes fluttering against her cheeks as she assessed his request. Killian detected an almost imperceptible nod of her head, as if she were trying to convince herself. After taking a deep breath, she finally agreed. "Okay, I'm listening."

That was the only sign Killian needed to finally open his heart and let go of all the worries that had plagued him in the last few months.

He told her about the first time he was aware that his friends had kept a secret from him from the beginning. The memory of that hungover morning after the anniversary of his brother's death and his confrontation with David still felt like a fresh wound.

Emma had been his confidant at that time, so nothing he was telling her was new to her. Still, she listened intently, her gaze never leaving his. She was also aware of the state in which he had found himself before knowing the truth, with that oppressive need to compensate his friends for everything they had done for him over the years, to feel useful in some way and not a total failure.

Before continuing, he swallowed hard in an attempt to drag down the lump that was forming in his throat. Then, he revealed to her how his friends had finally trusted him enough to share their secret with him. He saved for himself all the details of the unfortunate experiences of David and Mary Margaret as it was evident that Emma wasn't yet ready to face those revelations. Even so, he could detect a shadow of hurt crossing her gaze.

If he hadn't known the existence of that secret, it would have been unimaginable for him to think that his friends had gone through such a traumatic experience. They had always been his rock, his support. They had always offered him hope when he only saw a dark void in front of him.

"They only revealed your identity once they finished telling me their secret, when they explained to me the reasons why they needed my help."

Killian noticed how Emma shifted uncomfortably in her seat, while she averted her eyes. He would have given anything to find a way to spare her suffering, but sadly there was not, so he had no choice but to continue.

"It was a shock to me, Emma, since I had already begun to develop feelings for you and, what's worse, you even had dropped some glimpses of your past. It was hard to learn some of those details from them instead of from yourself. It was as if, with that revelation, they had taken part of our history together." Emma's features hardened, as her gaze met his again. She remained silent, though.

"Maybe you don't believe it, but I think I've never felt so pressured in my whole life with the feeling that, whatever I did, I was already condemned. From the moment I knew the truth, regardless of whether they had asked me for help or not, I was destined to fail, either to them or to you, as it ended up happening." The last words were accompanied by a bitterness that he could almost feel on the tip of his tongue. Although he had tried to stay calm throughout his confession, he was about to break, so he felt the need to pause to try to gather his thoughts and pull himself together.

Emma took that pause as an opportunity to intervene. "Do you realize that they took advantage of you? That they used the moment of vulnerability you were going through to ask you a favor that you weren't going to be able to refuse?" The way she addressed him, with a mixture of resentment towards his friends but also with a determination to protect him, did something with his insides, his mixed feelings colliding once more.

He let out a deep exhale. She was right, but it wasn't that simple. "Aye, but they were in a desperate situation."

Emma huffed, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation. "Why? Why didn't they just tell me?"

She didn't wait for an answer. Now that she had finally decided to express herself, she continued speaking in a voice that, although controlled, showed glimpses of the endless feelings that she had been accumulating in recent days. "He, David, told me that they were afraid of my reaction given my past, that they didn't want to ruin what I had achieved here in Storybrooke, but what they got by acting that way is much worse."

"Emma..." He longed to reach her, to ease her pain somehow. He acted instinctively, reaching out and placing his hand over hers, the touch with her warm skin burning through his veins towards his heart. She didn't reject his touch, just stared at their joined hands until, with a move of her hand, she entwined her fingers with his.

Her gaze sought his again, the corners of her lips twitching into a tiny smile. That was all he needed to continue. "We made a terrible mistake, I'm aware, but I was the one who made the decision to help them, after all. They didn't force me." His voice trailed off for a moment, but he needed to bare his soul even more. "I can't even express in words how deeply sorry I am for all the suffering we've put you through." He was aware that he was wearing his heart on his sleeve, exposing himself to her with raw honesty.

"The day you introduced them to me... that was part of the plan, wasn't it?" She asked with a tiny voice.

He simply nodded, his lips pressed together as a new wave of shame swirled in his gut.

"The day of the snow was also a setup, and the party after..." She did not ask but confirmed to herself what she already suspected in advance. Although Emma squeezed her eyes shut stubbornly for a few seconds, she could not help a single tear sliding down her cheek.

He had never wanted anything so much in his entire life as he wished he had two hands at that precise moment, because he wasn't willing to let go of her hand, but the need to wipe away her tears was so compelling that he acted instinctively again, reaching out with his prosthesis and brushing the skin of her cheek with a light-feather touch. The way she leaned her head accepting his touch, caused his heart to swell with admiration towards her.

"Those were my only interventions. You got along with them right away. Everything else went smoothly." He admitted, while squeezing her hand lightly.

"And what about your sudden changes of attitude, like the day I confessed about Neal and Walsh?" There was no recrimination in her voice, he could only detect a hint of genuine curiosity, as if she needed to know and assimilate everything that had happened in the last few months.

He let out a humorless laugh. "It turns out that I'm a terrible actor and I couldn't pretend. Every time I looked you in the eyes and remembered the secret that I kept inside me, it was as if a force pulled me, almost leading me to confess." The memory of that day came to his mind in flashes. "And regarding that day, I felt terribly ashamed, a fraud. I was acting with you in the same way that those two guys did." He looked away, feeling a wave of revulsion creep up his throat.

"Killian..." This time it was she who squeezed his hand. "Killian, look at me." She urged in a soft but firm voice. Although hesitant, he agreed, trying to seek refuge in the intensity of her green eyes. "Don't you ever dare to compare yourself to those two assholes. You were always at my side, trying to protect me in some way, worried about my feelings. So no, it's not the same." Emma said with such determination that he had to invoke all his self-control to avoid pulling her towards him and kissing her senseless right there.

His mind then traveled to the crucial moment, the day when everything had ended up exploding. He felt the need to explain the reasons for his failed attempt to travel to London. "I wasn't leaving you, Swan." He assured. "But it was clear that I wasn't able to handle the situation and on my birthday when I saw you there, in my apartment, sharing a moment as a happy family... I simply couldn't resist it."

"Regina told me that you canceled the flights when I left for work."

"Aye. It was a stupid decision that was only going to cause more damage than had already been inflicted." He averted his eyes, unable to hold her gaze.

"Well, that stupid decision got us here, and although this week has been downright awful, look at me and you, finally having a sincere conversation."

"If you put it that way..." He admitted, casting a sidelong glance at her and catching a soft smile on her face.

They fell silent for the next few seconds, Killian gently stroking her hand while he kept lost in thought, wondering where this conversation left them from now on. Emma's firm voice brought him back to reality. "There can be no more lies or secrets between us if we want this to work, Killian. I mean it."

Killian's eyes snapped back to her face. "You do?" He mumbled, still in awe at the possibility that Emma could forgive him just like that.

"You don't?" She challenged, a special glint in her eyes.

"Aye, with all my heart, Emma." He assured as he finally released her hand and reached out to stroke her cheek, his heart hammering in his chest.

Both held their eyes for a few seconds, her bottom lip catching between her teeth, while she kept a thoughtful expression. "I..." She licked her lips as she lowered her head before continuing. "I also wanted to apologize for everything I told you the other day. I'm aware that my words might have hurt you."

"Emma... no." His hand traveled to her chin, his thumb brushing gently at her dimple as he pushed lightly to force her to lift her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. I deserved each and every one of the words that you addressed to me."

They rested their foreheads together while Killian closed his eyes and let himself be enveloped by the sensations, her warm breath caressing his face while her intoxicating scent penetrated his nostrils causing his head to spin. "Gods, Emma. I want to kiss you so desperately." He breathed out, unable to avoid a hint of urgency in his voice.

"There's nothing stopping you, Killian." She whispered, her lips only a few inches away from his.

Killian shortened the distance between them until their lips finally met and everything around them vanished. At the moment when the longed-for kiss began he was absolutely certain that, just as he had set himself as a New Year's resolution, he was never going to stop kissing this woman.

But now, without any secret lurking, without any lie between them that clouded his thoughts, the sensations were even more intense. Her lips seemed softer, her scent sweeter, her taste even more exquisite.

After that first soft and tentative kiss, he ran his tongue along her bottom lip to seek entrance. Her lips parted slightly offering him the invitation he needed. When their tongues began to dance together, he felt electric shocks of pleasure up his spine and down to his toes.

Feeling Emma's lips against his again was as if he had found an oasis in the middle of the desert. He devoured her mouth while she moaned against his own, angling her head to allow him deeper as he pushed himself against her.

They continued kissing, alternating languid kisses with others full of passion, for what seemed like hours. At some point, Emma ended up straddling his lap, her mouth sliding down his neck, her tongue leaving a wet trail in its wake as it traveled back up looking for his mouth.

He was so intoxicated by the sensations, lost in a sea of lust and bliss that he didn't even realize at the beginning that the sensual movements she had initiated had a clear purpose. Slowly, his mind cleared enough to break the kiss, and look for her gaze as he tried to catch his breath.

"Emma, love, what are we doing?" Killian asked, his voice raspy.

"What do you think we're doing, Killian?" She arched an eyebrow suggestively.

"But..." He was unable to prevent a groan from sliding between his lips, when the deliberate movements of her hips became more intense causing a delicious and at the same time tortuous friction against his arousal.

"Emma..." He tried again, his voice sounding still hoarse. "We... we just... we never... we just made peace." He trailed off in a breathy moan.

"Have you never heard of make up sex?" She asked before catching the lobe of his ear between her teeth, earning another groan on his part.

"But it would be our first time..." He alleged weakly. Something was definitely not working well in his brain.

"So..." She shrugged. "It will be a first time-make up sort of sex, then." Her brow furrowed slightly, as she searched his gaze. "You want this, don't you, Killian?"

He saw it clear then, the faint hint of vulnerability in her voice, her expression of ill-concealed frustration. He remembered all the times he had rejected her in a certain way during the last months. The mere thought of having his way with her when there was that secret beating between them was too repulsive. But now, there was nothing to prevent further progress in their relationship and yet he was still impeding her advances.

"Of course I do. I want it so badly that it hurts, literally." He directed a look full of intention to his crotch.

"So..."

Killian took a deep breath, locking her eyes with his, his hand tracing delicate patterns on the patch of skin exposed under the hem of her shirt.

"I wouldn't like this to be just a way to release the tension accumulated during this week. I don't want you to regret the next morning, darling."

"I won't." She stated categorically.

"You can't know that, love." He almost implored, desperate to do things right this time.

"Do you trust me, Killian?" He simply nodded. "I want to have sex with you and I promise I'll be here the next morning."

"Well, since we're in your own apartment..." Killian arched a brow playfully. The tension that he had felt, slowly fading away.

For all answer, she captured his lips again with hers as her hands began their exploratory path under his shirt. They continued kissing and caressing for a while until the pressure he felt was almost unbearable. He pushed himself up while holding Emma, who wrapped her legs around his waist.

"What are you doing?" She murmured against his lips.

"I don't want our first time-make up sort of sex to take place on a bloody couch." He growled as he started walking towards her bedroom. The giggle that escaped her lips sounded like music to his ears.

She did not make his way easy, causing him to almost stumble, too distracted by the sensations, her demanding mouth never leaving his, one hand gently pulling at his hair, while with the other one she clung to him for dear life.

Once in her bedroom, he forced himself not to be blinded by the passion of the moment and took things more calmly.

He had come to her apartment with the sole purpose of apologizing and being honest with Emma. Not even in his wildest dreams could he have imagined that the night would have ended just like that, with her vibrating in his arms in anticipation of what was about to happen. Despite the unexpectedness of the situation, that did not mean they could not make that first night together something special and unforgettable.

Killian lowered Emma until her feet touched the floor, both facing each other, their bodies only separated by a few inches. He allowed himself a few moments to observe her carefully, reveling in the effect their activities were having on her.

Her swollen and slightly parted lips were a perpetual invitation to be kissed. Some strands of her hair had escaped from her braid, framing her perfect face. Her cheeks were colored a soft pink halo, betraying her level of arousal. There was a fire in her gaze that made his blood run hot.

They began to undress each other in slow motion, without urgency, his gaze never leaving hers. A gasp escaped his lips when his eyes finally settled on her delectable, creamy skin, his fingers tingling, longing to brush against her perfect curves.

There was only a moment of hesitation when she laid her hand on his prosthesis, asking him, without needing to speak if he wanted to take it off. He shook his head slightly as his lips drawing a weak smile. He was not ready yet.

"I... I haven't remained celibate after losing my hand, but with all those one-night stands I never felt the desire to take off my prosthesis." He tried to explain himself.

"But I'm not one of your one-night stands..."

You're everything. The words died on the tip of his tongue before leaving his lips. Instead, he offered a soft smile. "Aye, I'm well aware of that, or at least I hope so. Let's say this is a promise of a future. The next time I won't need the prosthesis to be with you."

"Good." She nodded almost imperceptibly and continued with her task of undressing him.

"You're so beautiful, Emma." He rasped, while reaching out his hand to caress her exposed skin.

She closed her eyes at his touch, while she bit her lower lip in a failed attempt to suppress a moan. "You're not so bad yourself." She breathed out, opening her eyes again.

He couldn't resist it anymore. Cradling the back of her head with his hand, he settled the prosthesis at the small of her back, his lips finding hers again. He pushed her gently to the bed, getting her to lie on the sheets, his mouth never leaving hers as he covered her body with his.

"You can't imagine how much I've wanted to do this for the past few weeks. It's been torture, love. But I just couldn't, not like that." He mumbled before forcing himself to put his mouth to better use, traveling from her neck to her collarbone and back to her mouth, his tongue leaving a wet trail in its wake.

"I guess you had your punishment, cold showers, manual jobs and all that." Killian raised his head, his eyes searching for hers, finding a playful glint in her gaze as she bit her lower lip in that way that drove him crazy. He was amazed at the lightness with which she was taking everything that had happened to the point of even joking about the situation.

His skin hummed, feeling her body vibrating beneath his. He needed more, but before continuing, he needed to be sure that they were in this together.

"Tell me what you need, Emma."

"You. Only you."

"You have me." He assured, willing to demonstrate with his actions the devotion he felt for her, worshiping her body the way she deserved.

His mouth and hand began to explore her body in search of those places that would make her melt. The delicious sounds that escaped from her mouth and the way her body reacted to his touch caused his heart to flutter with satisfaction. He acted like a thirsty man who had just found a stream of crystal clear water. His thirst was only satiated at the moment in which she came undone by his ministrations.

He watched her features intently, her eyes still closed, her breathing shaken, a sated smile gracing her lips and causing his chest to swell with pride, as he wondered what he had done to deserve such a blessing in his life.

Waiting for her to come down from her high, he lay beside her, his fingers drawing delicate patterns on her bare stomach. He noticed she was catching her breath slowly until finally, she opened her eyes, a wicked grin adorning her lips. "I think it's my turn now." She muttered as her hand traveled south, until her fingers closed around him, causing a sharp intake of breath coming through his teeth.

She took the reins then, so he had no choice but to surrender to her, and follow her path.

After so many years of one-night stands, he wasn't used to that level of intimacy that could be overwhelming in some way. But he was completely consumed by her and by the power she had to make him shake only with the most subtle brush of her lips on his skin as the fire in her eyes made his blood run hot, his mind clouded by pure bliss and lust.

They ended up emulating the previous position on the couch, she straddling his lap while he rested his back on the headboard of the bed, their bodies almost fused with each other. If he was surprised by her choice of position, he didn't have time to express it out loud. The moment their bodies joined and began the first of — he hoped —many dances together, all rational thought left him. She had managed to bewitch him in such a way that he was now under her mercy. She was going to be the death of him - but what a sweet way to die it would be.

Emma Swan. Storybrooke - March 4, 2018

The first thing Emma noticed when she opened her eyes was the familiar feeling of an empty space beside her. Her brain still dragged the vestiges of the sleep, making her doubt if what had happened the night before had been nothing more than a sweet dream from which she had just awakened.

No, she still felt sore in the right places, noticing a slight burn on her skin while the sated sensation lingered in her system. Still, she couldn't help a wave of disappointment washed over her. She had imagined a warm body wrapping her when she woke up. Instead, she found the other side of the bed empty and cold under her touch.

"Good morning, love." Her body shuddered at the sound of Killian's voice coming from the other side of the bedroom. She remembered then that at some point in the night she had removed her contacts and now, when she rolled on her side, following the direction of the sound, she only found a blurred figure sitting in her armchair.

“See? I'm still here." She jocked, her voice slightly husky, as a reminder of her veiled promise from the night before. "Are you stalking me?" She added as she reached out a hand and fumbled blindly for her glasses on the bedside table.

He chuckled. It was a beautiful sound, something rare in the last weeks but that she hoped to hear very often from now on. "On the contrary, Swan. I was simply watching your sleep."

Much better, she thought as she put on her glasses, getting the vision she needed to see Killian in all his glory. She swallowed hard, the image of him sitting there wearing only his underpants and holding her camera causing a tug of desire settling into her gut.

"With my camera? That's sort of creepy." She teased, using a weird way to show her curiosity. In her defense, her brain wasn't functioning properly yet.

He rolled his eyes, smirking at her. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she observed his relaxed features, not a trace of tension in his body. He just seemed happy.

"I woke up early. I had never seen the sunrise from this corner of the town so, since I didn't bring my camera with me, I borrowed yours and took a few pictures from your window."

As he spoke, he got up, approaching the bed, still holding the camera in his hand. "And now I was just waiting for you to wake up and ask you to pose for me. The light is wonderful, here, Swan."

"Really? You want me to act as a model? Are you aware that I just woke up, I wear glasses and my hair is a mess?"

"Nonsense." Killian cut her off with a dismissive wave of his hand. "That light has a fabulous effect on your skin and your eyes, and you always look beautiful, love."

She wasn't going to deny it, she had a weakness for the way he always praised her and for his passion for photography, causing her admiration for him to grow at times. After letting out an exaggerated sigh, she agreed, posing for him for the next few minutes, feeling like a model under the scrutiny of the camera.

"Are you happy now? Come back to bed, it's still early." She sued once the photo session ended.

“As you wish.” To her delight, he complied quickly, leaving the camera on the nightstand and crawling into bed, wrapping his arms around her.

The sensation of his body against hers brought to her memory their previous activities, causing a new wave of desire to take over her. She caught his mouth with hers and allowed herself to immerse in the incredible sensation of being kissed by such a skilled mouth. She could spend hours just like that, sharing languid kisses as Killian's arms cradled her.

"Any plan for today?" She managed to ask, her lips barely leaving his.

"In fact, I do." He admitted as he parted from her slightly, while scratching behind his ear, his cheeks flushed. "It's Sunday, remember?" The way he addressed her, in a soft voice and a tentative attitude, made her stomach tighten into knots. "I have lunch with... David and Mary Margaret."

"Oh." Suddenly, everything she had experienced throughout the week came to her memory, hitting her hard. She had managed to forget all those worries for a few hours of pure joy, but reality fell on her again.

"I can cancel it. They'll understand." Killian offered, clearly worried about her reaction.

"No." As much as everything about the Nolans still hurt, if she was willing to let her relationship with Killian prosper, and she really was, she must learn to accept the important role they played in her boyfriend's life. "I haven't yet forgiven them and I may never get to do it, but they're your friends, your family, Killian. I'll do my best to not interfere with your relationship with them."

Killian nodded and stared at her for a few seconds, that special glint in his eyes causing the butterflies in her stomach to flutter furiously. "We still have many hours ahead of us, Swan. What do you think if we make them worth it?" He offered, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Before she could answer, though, he added, "Just for the record. They may be my family, but you are, at least I hope you are, my future, Emma."

The emotion she felt at that moment was so intense that her throat closed, preventing her from forming any sound. Instead, she demonstrated how she felt with actions, pulling him towards her and capturing his lips, hoping to convey with that kiss how grateful she felt for that promise he just had offered, to which she was going to cling with all her strength.

TheLadySwan I know, I know. This is not a food photo account. But sometimes a plate of pancakes is much more than a simple food. Sometimes it means the beginning of a promising day, or a moment shared with that special person. Or sometimes it's just pancakes, a sweet and fluffy breakfast that will put a smile on your face :)

KJones This is a message from that special person (I hope), I'm looking forward to sharing more pancakes with you, in every way ;)

Thanks for reading. As you may have noticed, I'm not a smut writer, but I tried, sort of... Also, I just couldn't leave them separated for much longer. Let me know what did you all think :)

What to expect from the next chapter? If I'm not mistaken, I think the next chapter is the shortest in the whole story. We'll see how the relationship between Emma and Killian develops now that there is no longer any secret between them. Besides, will Emma be able to forgive The Nolans eventually?

#cs ff #cs au #csbb #captain swan #captain swan ff #pictures of reality #mayquita writes #my cs writings #csbb 2018 #cs au ff

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maximelebled · 5 years

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Growing Pains - Zelda, Tony Hawk, The Sims, games and related memories from my formative years

This blog post is about my personal history with video games, how they influenced me growing up, how they sometimes helped me, and more or less an excuse to write about associated memories with them.

This is a very straightforward intro, because I’ve had this post sitting as a draft for ages, trying to glue all of it cohesively, but I’m not a very good writer, so I never really succeeded. Some of these paragraphs date back at least one year.

And I figured I should write about a lot of this as long as I still remember clearly, or not too inaccurately. Because I know that I don’t remember my earliest ever memory. I only remember how I remember it. So I might as well help my future self here, and give myself a good memento.

Anyway, the post is a kilometer long, so it’ll be under this cut.

My family got a Windows 95 computer when I was 3 years old. While I don’t remember this personally, I’m told that one of the first things I ever did with it was mess up with the BIOS settings so badly that dad’s computer-expert friend had to be invited to repair it. (He stayed for dinner as a thank you.)

It was that off-white plastic tower, it had a turbo button, and even a 4X CD reader! Wow! And the CRT monitor must have been... I don’t remember what it was, actually. But I do once remember launching a game at a stupidly high resolution: 1280x1024! And despite being a top-down 2D strategy, it ran VERY slowly. Its video card was an ATI Rage. I had no idea what that really meant that at the time, but I do recall that detail nonetheless.

Along with legitimately purchased games, the list of which I can remember:

Tubular Worlds

Descent II

Alone in the Dark I & III

Lost Eden

Formula One (not sure which game exactly)

Heart of Darkness

(and of course the famous Adibou/Adi series of educational games)

... we also had what I realize today were cracked/pirated games, from the work-friend that had set up the family computer. I remember the following:

Age of Empires I (not sure about that one, I think it might have been from a legitimate “Microsoft Plus!” disc)

Nightmare Creatures (yep, there was a PC port of that game)

Earthworm Jim (but without any music)

The Fifth Element

Moto Racer II

There are a few other memorable games, which were memorable in most aspects, except their name. I just cannot remember their name. And believe me, I have looked. Too bad! Anyway, in this list, I can point out a couple games that made a big mark on me.

First, the Alone in the Dark trilogy. It took me a long time to beat them. I still remember the morning I beat the third game. I think it was in 2001 or 2002.

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There was a specific death in it which gave me nightmares for a week. You shrink yourself to fit through a crack in a wall, but it’s possible to let a timer run out—or fall down a hole—and this terrifying thing happens (16:03). I remember sometimes struggling to run the game for no reason; something about DOS Extended Memory being too small.

I really like the low-poly flat-shaded 3D + hand-drawn 2D style of the game, and it’d be really cool to see something like that pop up again. After the 8-bit/16-bit trend, there’s now more and more games paying tribute to rough PS1-style 3D, so maybe this will happen? Maybe I’ll have to do it myself? Who knows!

Second, Lost Eden gave me a taste for adventure and good music, and outlandish fantasy universes. Here’s the intro to the game:

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A lot of the game is very evocative, especially its gorgeous soundtrack, and you spend a lot of time trekking through somewhat empty renders of landscapes. Despite being very rough early pre-rendered 3D, those places were an incredible journey in my young eyes. If you have some time, I suggest either playing the game (it’s available on Steam) or watching / skimmering through this “longplay” video. Here are some of my personal highlights: 25:35, 38:05, 52:15 (love that landscape), 1:17:20, 1:20:20 (another landscape burned in my neurons), 2:12:10, 2:55:30, 3:01:18. (spoiler warning)

But let’s go a couple years back. Ever since my youngest years, I was very intrigued by creation. I filled entire pocket-sized notebooks with writing—sometimes attempts at fiction, sometimes daily logs like the weather reports from the newspaper, sometimes really bad attempts at drawing. I also filled entire audio tapes over and over and OVER with “fake shows” that my sister and I would act out. The only thing that survived is this picture of 3-year-old me with the tape player/recorder.

It also turns out that the tape recorder AND the shelf have both survived.

(I don’t know if it still works.)

On Wednesday afternoons (school was off) and on the week-ends, I often got to play on the family computer, most of the time with my older brother, who’s the one who introduced me to... well... all of it, really. (Looking back on the games he bought, I can say he had very good tastes.)

Moto Racer II came with a track editor. It was simple but pretty cool to play around with. You just had to make the track path and elevation; all the scenery was generated by the game. You could draw impossible tracks that overlapped themselves, but the editor wouldn’t let you save them. However, I found out there was a way to play/save them no matter what you did, and I got to experiment with crazy glitches. 85 degree inclines that launched the bike so high you couldn’t see the ground anymore? No problem. Tracks that overlapped themselves several times, causing very strange behaviour at the meeting points? You bet. That stuff made me really curious about how video games worked. I think a lot of my initial interest in games can be traced back to that one moment I figured out how to exploit the track editor...

There was also another game—I think it was Tubular Worlds—that came on floppy disks. I don’t remember what exactly lead me to do it, but I managed to edit the text that was displayed by the installer... I think it was the license agreement bit of it. That got me even more curious as to how computers worked.

Up until some time around my 13th or 14th birthday, during summer break (the last days of June to the first days of September for French pupils), my sister and I would always go on vacation at my grandparents’ home.

The very first console game I ever played was The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past on my cousin’s Super Nintendo, who also usually stayed with us. Unlike us, he had quite a few consoles available to him, and brought a couple along. My first time watching and playing this game was absolutely mind-blowing to me. An adventure with a huge game world to explore, so many mysterious things at every corner. “Why are you a pink rabbit now?” “I’m looking for the pearl that will help me not be that.”

Growing up and working in the games industry has taken the magic out of many things in video games... and my curiosity for the medium (and its inner workings) definitely hasn’t helped. I know more obscure technical trivia about older games than I care to admit. But I think this is what is shaping my tastes in video games nowadays... part of it is that I crave story-rich experiences that can bring me back to a, for lack of a better term, “child-like” wonderment. And I know how weird this is going to sound, but I don’t really enjoy “pure gameplay” games as much for that reason. Some of the high-concept ones are great, of course (e.g. Tetris), but I usually can’t enjoy others without a good interwoven narrative. I can’t imagine I would have completed The Talos Principle had it consisted purely of the puzzles without any narrative beats, story bits, and all that. What I’m getting at is, thinking about it, I guess I tend to value the “narrative” side of games pretty highly, because, to me, it’s one of the aspects of the medium that, even if distillable to some formulas, is inherently way more “vague” and “ungraspable”. You can do disassembly on game mechanics and figure out even the most obsure bits of weird technical trivia. You can’t do that to a plot, a universe, characters, etc. or at least nowhere near to the same extent.

You can take a good story and weave it into a number of games, but the opposite is not true. It’s easy to figure out the inner working of gameplay mechanics, and take the magic out of them, but it’s a lot harder to do that for a story, unless it’s fundamentally flawed in some way.

Video games back then seemed a lot bigger than they actually were.

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I got Heart of Darkness as a gift in 1998 or 1999. We used to celebrate Christmas at my grandparents’, so I had to wait a few days to be back home, and to able to put the CD in the computer. But boy was it worth it! Those animated cutscenes! The amazing pixel art animations! The amazing and somewhat disturbing variety of ways in which you can die, most of which gruesome and mildly graphic! And of course, yet again... a strange and outlandish universe that just scratches my itch for it. Well, one of which that forged my taste for them.

I can’t remember exactly when it happened or what it was, but I do remember that at some point we visited some sort of... exposition? Exhibit? Something along those lines. And it had a board games & computer games section. The two that stick out in my mind were Abalone (of which I still have the box somewhere) and what I think was some sort of 2D isometric (MMO?) RPG. I wanna say it was Ultima Online but I recall it looking more primitive than that (it had small maps whose “void” outside them was a single blueish color).

In my last two years of elementary school, there was one big field trip per year. They lasted two weeks, away from family. The first one was to the Alps. The second one was... not too far from where I live now, somewhere on the coast of Brittany! I have tried really hard to find out exactly where it was, as I remember the building and facilities really well, but I was never able to find it again. On a couple occasions, we went on a boat with some kind of... algae harvesters? The smell was extremely strong (burning itself into my memory) and made me sick. The reason I bring them up is because quite a few of my classmates had Game Boy consoles, most of them with, you know, all those accessories, especially the little lights. I remember being amazed at the transparent ones. Play was usually during the off-times, and I watched what my friends were up to, with, of course, a bit of jealousy mixed in. The class traveled by bus, and it took off in the middle of the night; something like 3 or 4 in the morning? It seemed like such a huge deal at the time! Now here I am, writing THESE WORDS at 03:00. Anyway, most of my classmates didn’t fall back asleep and those that had a Game Boy just started playing on them. One of my classmates, however, handed me his whole kit and I got to do pretty much what I wanted with it, with the express condition that I would not overwrite any of his save files. I remember getting reasonably far in Pokémon before I had to give it back to him and my progress was wiped.

During the trip to the Alps, I remember seeing older kids paying for computer time; there was a row of five computers in a small room... and they played Counter-Strike. I had absolutely no idea what it was, and I would forget about it until the moment I’m writing these words, but I was watching with much curiosity.

The first time I had my own access to console games was in 2001. The first Harry Potter film had just come out, and at Christmas, I was gifted a Game Boy Advance with the first official game. I just looked it up again and good god, it’s rougher than I remember. The three most memorable GBA games which I then got to play were both Golden Sun(s) and Sword of Mana... especially the latter, with its gorgeous art direction. My dad had a cellphone back then, and I remember sneakily going on there to look up a walkthrough for a tricky part of Golden Sun’s desert bit. Cellphones had access to something called “WAP” internet... very basic stuff, but of course still incredible to me back then.

I eventually got to play another Zelda game on my GBA: Link’s Awakening DX. I have very fond memories of that one because I was bed-ridden with a terrible flu. My fever ran so high that I started having some really funky dreams, delirious half-awake hallucinations/feelings, and one night, I got so hot that I stumbled out of bed and just laid down against the cold tile of the hallway. At 3 in the morning! A crazy time! (Crazy for 11-year-old me.)

(The fever hallucinations were crazy. My bedroom felt like it was three times at big, and I was convinced that a pack of elephants were charging at me from the opposite corner. The “night grain” of my vision felt sharper, amplified. Every touch, my sore body rubbing against the bed covers felt like it was happening twice as much. You know that “Heavy Rain with 300% facial animation” video? Imagine that, but as a feverish feeling. The dreams were on another level entirely. I could spend pages on them, but suffice to say that’s when I had my first dream where I dreamed of dying. There were at least two, actually. The first one was by walking down a strange, blueish metal corridor, then getting in an elevator, and then feeling that intimate convinction that it was leading me to passing over. The second one was in some Myst-like world, straight out of a Roger Dean cover, with some sort of mini-habitat pods floating on a completely undisturbed lake. We were just trapped in them. It just felt like some kind of weird afterlife.)

I also eventually got to play the GBA port of A Link To The Past. My uncle was pretty amused by seeing me play it, as he’d also played the original on SNES before I’d even been born. I asked him for help with a boss (the first Dark World one), but unfortunately, he admitted he didn’t remember much of the game.

We had a skiing holiday around this time. I don’t remember the resort’s or the town’s name, but its sights are burned in my memory. Maybe it’s because, shortly after we arrived, and we went to the ski rental place, I almost fainted and puked on myself, supposedly from the low oxygen. It also turned out that the bedroom my parents had rented unexpectedly came with a SNES in the drawer under the tiny TV. The game: Super Mario World. I got sick at one point and got to stay in and play it. This was also the holiday where I developed a fondness for iced tea, although back then the most common brand left an awful aftertaste in your mouth that just made you even more thirsty.

We got a new PC in December of 2004. Ditching the old Windows 98 SE (yep, the OS had been upgraded in... 2002, I think?). Look at how old-school this looks. The computer office room was in the basement. Even with the blur job that I applied to the monitor for privacy reasons, you can still tell that this is the XP file explorer:

A look at what the old DSLR managed to capture on the shelf reveals some more of the games that were available to me back then: a bunch of educational software, The Sims 2, and SpellForce Gold.

I might be misremembering but I think they were our Christmas gifts for that year; we both got to pick one game. I had no idea what I wanted, really, but out of all the boxes at (what I think was) the local Fnac store, it was SpellForce that stood out to me the most. Having watched Lord of the Rings the year prior might have been a factor. I somewhat understood Age of Empires years before that, but SpellForce? Man, I loved the hell out of SpellForce. Imagine a top-down RPG that can also be played from a third-person perspective. And with the concept of... hero units... wait a second... now that reminds me of Dota.

Imagine playing a Dota hero with lots of micro-management and being able to build a whole base on new maps. And sometimes visiting very RPG-ish sections (my favorites!) with very little top-down strategy bits, towns, etc. like Siltbreaker. I guess this game was somewhat like an alternate, single-player Dota if you look at it from the right angle. (Not the third-person one.)

I do remember being very excited when I found out that it, too, came with a level editor. I never figured it out, though. I only ever got as far as making a nice landscape for my island, and that was it!

A couple weeks after, it was Christmas; my sister and I got our first modern PC game: The Sims 2. It didn’t run super well—most games didn’t, because the nVidia GeForce FX 5200 wasn’t very good. But that didn’t stop me or my sister from going absolutely nuts with the game. This video has the timestamp of 09 January 2005, and it is the first video I’ve ever made with a computer. Less than two weeks after we got the game, I was already neck-deep in creating stuff.

Not that it was particularly good, of course. This is a video that meets all of the “early YouTube Windows Movie Maker clichés”.

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Speaking of YouTube, I did register an account there pretty early on, in August of 2006. I’ve been through all of it. I remember every single layout change. I also started using Sony Vegas around that time. It felt so complex and advanced back then! And I’m still using it today. Besides Windows, Vegas Pro is very likely to be the piece of software that I’ve been using for the longest time.

I don’t have a video on YouTube from before 2009, because I decided to delete all of them out of embarassment. They were mostly Super Mario 64 machinima. It’s as bad as it sounds. The reason I bring that up right now, though, is that it makes the “first” video of my account the last one I made with the Sims 2.

But before I get too far ahead with my early YouTube days, let me go backwards a bit. We got hooked up to the Internet some time in late 2005. It was RTC (dialup), 56 kbps. my first steps into the Internet led me to the Cube engine. Mostly because back then my dad would purchase computer magazines (which were genuinely helpful back then), and came with CDs of common downloadable software for those without Internet connections. One of them linked to Cube. I think it was using either this very same screenshot, or a very similar one, on the same map.

The amazing thing about Cube is not only that it was open-source and moddable, but had map editing built-in the game. The mode was toggled on with a single key press. You could even edit maps cooperatively with other people. Multiplayer mapping! How cool is that?! And the idea of a game that enabled so much creation was amazing to me, so I downloaded it right away. (Over the course of several hours, 30 MiB being large for dialup.)

I made lots of bad maps that never fulfilled the definition of “good level” or “good gameplay”, not having any idea how “game design” meant, or what it even was. But I made places. Places that I could call my own. “Virtual homes”. I still distinctively remember the first map I ever made, even though no trace of it survives to this day. In the second smallest map size possible, I’d made a tower surrounded by a moat and a few smaller cozy towers, with lots of nice colored lighting. This, along with the distinctive skyboxes and intriguing music, made me feel like I’d made my home in a strange new world.

At some point later down the line, I made a kinda-decent singleplayer level. It was very linear, but one of the two lead developers of the game played it and told me he liked it a lot! Of course, half of that statement was probably “to be nice”, but it was really validating and encouraging. And I’m glad they were like that. Because I remember being annoying to some other mappers in the Sauerbraten community (the follow-up to Cube, more advanced technically), who couldn’t wrap their heads around my absolutely god awful texturing work and complete lack of level “design”. Honestly, sometimes, I actually kinda feel like trying to track a couple of them down and being like, “yeah, remember that annoying kid? That was me. Sorry you had to deal with 14-year-old me.”

youtube

At some point, I stumbled upon a mod called Cube Legends. It was a heavily Zelda-inspired “total conversion”; a term reserved for mods that are the moddiest mods and try to take away as much of the original foundation as possible. It featured lots of evocative MIDI music by the Norwegian composer Bjørn Lynne. Fun fact: the .mid files are still available officially from his website!

This was at the crossroad of many of my interests. It was yet another piece of the puzzle. As a quick side note, this is why Zelda is the first series that I name in the title of this post, even though I... never really thought of myself as a Zelda fan. It’s not that it’s one of the game series that I like the most, it’s just that, before I started writing this, I’d never realized how far-reaching its influence had been in my life, both in overt and subtle ways, especially during my formative years.

And despite how clearly unfinished, how much of a “draft” Cube Legends was, I could see what it was trying to do. I could see the author’s intent. And I’m still listening to Bjørn Lynne’s music today.

The Cube Engine and its forums were a big part of why I started speaking English so well. Compared to most French people, I mean. We’re notoriously bad with the English language, and so was I up until then. But having this much hands-on practice proved to be immensely valuable. And so, I can say that the game and its community have therefore had long-lasting impacts in my life.

I also tried out a bunch of N64 games via emulation, bringing me right back in that bedroom at my grandparents’ house, with my cousin. Though he did not have either N64 Zelda game back then.

The first online forum I ever joined was a Zelda fan site’s. There are two noteworthy things to say here:

It was managed by a woman who, during my stay in the community, graduated from her animation degree. At this stage I had absolutely no idea that this was going to be the line of work I would eventually pursue!

I recently ran into the former head moderator of the forums. (I don’t know when the community died.) One of the Dota players on my friends list invited him because I was like “hmm, I wanna go as 3, not as 2 players today”. His nickname very vaguely reminded me of something, a weird hunch I couldn’t place. Half an hour into the game, he said “hey Max... this might be a long shot, but did you ever visit [forum]?” and then I immediately yelled “OH MY GOD—IT IS YOU.” The world is a small place.

Access to the computer was sometimes tricky. I didn’t always have good grades, and of course, “punishment” (not sure the word is appropriate, hence the quotes, but you get the idea) often involved locking me out of the computer room. Of course, most times, I ended up trying to find the key instead. I needed my escape from the real world. (You better believe it’s Tangent Time.)

I was always told I was the “smart kid”, because I “understood things faster” than my classmates. So they made me skip two grades ahead. This made me enter high school at nine years old. The consequences were awful (I was even more of the typical nerdy kid that wouldn’t fit in), and I wish it had never happened. Over the years, I finally understood: I wasn’t more intelligent. I merely had the chance to have been able to grow up with an older brother who’d instilled a sense of curiosity, critical thinking, and taste in books that were ahead of my age and reading level. This situation—and its opposite—is what I believe accounts for the difference in how well kids get to learn. It’s not innate talent, it’s not genetics (as some racists would like you to believe). It’s parenting and privilege.

And that’s why I’ll always be an outspoken proponent for any piece of media that tries to instill critical thinking and curiosity in its viewer, reader, or player.

But I digress.

Well, I’ve been digressing a lot, really, but games aren’t everything and after all, this post is about the context in which I played those games. Otherwise I reckon I would’ve just made a simple list.

I eventually got a Nintendo DS for Christmas, along with Mario Kart DS. My sister had gotten her own just around the time when it released... she had the Nintendogs bundle. We had also upgraded to proper ADSL, what I think was about a ~5 megabits download speed. The Nintendo DS supported wi-fi, which was still relatively rare compared to today. In fact, Nintendo sold a USB wireless adapter to help with that issue—our ISP-supplied modem-router did not have any wireless capabilities. I couldn’t get it the adapter work and I remember I got help from a really kind stranger who knew a lot about networking—to a point that it seemed like wizardry to me.

I remember I got a “discman” as a gift some time around that point. In fact, I still have it. Check out the stickers I put on it! I think those came from the Sims 2 DVD box and/or one of its add-ons.

I burned a lot of discs. In fact, in the stack of burned CDs/DVDs that I found (with the really bad Sims movies somewhere in there), I found at least three discs that had the Zelda album Hyrule Symphony burned in, each with different additional tracks. Some were straight-up MIDI files from vgmusic.com...! And speaking (again) of Zelda, when the Wii came out, Twilight Princess utterly blew my mind. I never got the game or the console, but damn did I yearn badly for it. I listened to the main theme of the game a lot, which didn’t help. I eventually got to play the first few hours at a friend’s place.

At some point, we’d upgraded the family computer to something with a bit more horsepower. It had a GeForce 8500 GT inside, which was eventually upgraded to a 9600 GT after the card failed for some reason. It could also dual-boot between XP and Vista. I stuck with that computer until 2011.

We moved to where I currently live in 2007. I’ve been here over a decade! And before we’d even fully finished unpacking, I was on the floor of the room that is now my office, with the computer on the ground and the monitor on a cardboard box, playing a pirated copy of... Half-Life! It was given to me by my cousin. It took me that long to find out about the series. It’s the first Valve game I played. I also later heard about the Orange Box, but mostly about Portal. Which I also pirated and played. I distinctly remember being very puzzled by the options menu: I thought it was glitched or broken, as changing settings froze the game. Turns out the Source engine had to chug for a little while, like a city car in countryside mud, as it reloaded a bunch of stuff. Patience is a virtue...

But then, something serious happened.

In the afternoon of 25 December 2007, I started having a bit of a dull stomach pain. I didn’t think much of it. Figured maybe I’d eaten too many Christmas chocolates and it’d go away. It didn’t. It progressively deteriorated into a high fever where I had trouble walking and my tummy really hurt; especially if you pressed on it. My parents tried to gently get me to eat something nice on New Year’s Eve, but it didn’t stay in very long. I could only feed myself with lemonade and painkiller. Eventually, the doctor decided I should get blood tests done as soon as possible. And I remember that day very clearly.

I was already up at 6:30 in the morning. Back then, The Daily Show aired on the French TV channel Canal+, so I was watching that, lying in the couch while waiting for my mom to get up and drive me to my appointment, at 7:00. It was just two streets away, but there was no way I could walk there. At around noon, the doctor called and told my mom: “get your son to the emergency room now.”

Long story short, part of my intestines nuked themselves into oblivion, causing acute peritonitis. To give you an idea, that’s something with a double-digit fatality rate. Had we waited maybe a day or two more, I would not be here writing this. They kind of blew up. I had an enormous abcess attached to a bunch of my organs. I had to be operated on with only weak local anaesthetics as they tried to start draining the abscess. It is, to date, by far the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. It was bad enough that the hospital doctor that was on my case told me that I was pretty much a case worthy to be in textbooks. I even had medical students come into my hospital room about it! They were very nice.

This whole affair lasted over a month. I became intimately familiar with TV schedules. And thankfully, I had my DS to keep me company. At the time, I was pretty big into the Tony Hawk DS games. They were genuinely good. They had extensive customization, really great replayability, etc. you get the idea. I think I even got pretty high on the online leaderboards at some point. I didn’t have much to do on some days besides lying down in pain while perfecting my scoring and combo strategies. I think Downhill Jam might’ve been my favorite.

My case was bad enough that they were unable to do something due to the sad state of my insides during the last surgery of my stay. I was told that I could come back in a few months for a checkup, and potentially a “cleanup” operation that would fix me up for good. I came back in late June of 2008, got the operation, and... woke up in my hospital room surrounded by, like, nine doctors, and hooked up to a morphine machine that I could trigger on command. Apparently something had gone wrong during the operation, but they never told me what. I wasn’t legally an adult, so they didn’t have to tell me. I suspect it’s somewhere in some medical files, but I never bothered to dig up through my parents’ archives, or ask the hospital. And I think I would rather not know. But anyway, that was almost three more weeks in the hospital. And it sucked even more that time because, you see, hospital beds do not “breathe” like regular beds do. The air can’t go through. Let’s say I’m intimately familiar with the smell of back sweat forever.

When I got out, my mom stopped by a supermarket on the way home. And that is when I bought The Orange Box, completely on a whim, and made my Steam account. Why? Because it was orange and stood out on the shelf.

(As a side note, that was the whole bit I started writing first, and that made me initially title this post “growing pains”. First, because I’m bad at titles. Second, because not that I didn’t have them otherwise (ow oof ouch my knees), but that was literally the most painful episode of my entire life thus far and it ended in a comically-unrelated, high-impact, life-changing decision. Just me picking up The Orange Box after two awful hospital stays... led me to where I am today.)

While I was recovering, I also started playing EarthBound! Another bit of a life-changer, that one. To a lesser extent, but still. I was immediately enamored by its unique tone. Giygas really really really creeped me out for a while afterwards though. I still get unsettled if I hear its noises sometimes.

I later bought Garry’s Mod (after convincing my mom that it was a “great creative toolbox that only cost ten bucks!”), and, well, the rest is history. By which I mean, a lot of my work and gaming activity since 2009 is still up and browsable. But there are still a few things to talk about.

In 2009, I bought my first computer with YouTube ad money: the Asus eee PC 1005HA-H. By modern standards, it’s... not very powerful. The processor in my current desktop machine is nearly 50 times as fast as its Atom N280. It had only one gigabyte of RAM, Windows 7 Basic Edition, and an integrated GPU barely worthy of the name; Intel didn’t care much for 3D in their chips back then. The GMA 945 didn’t even have hardware support for Transform & Lighting.

But I made it work, damn it. I made that machine run so much stuff. I played countless Half-Life and Half-Life 2 mods on it—though, due to the CPU overhead on geometry, some of those were trickier. I think one of the most memorable ones I played was Mistake of Pythagoras; very surreal, very rough, but I still remember it so clearly. I later played The Longest Journey on it, in the middle of winter. It was a very cozy and memorable experience. (And another one that’s an adventure wonderful outlandish alien universe. LOVE THOSE.)

I did more than playing games on it, though...

This is me sitting, sunburned on the nose, in an apartment room, on 06 August 2010. This was in the Pyrénées, at the border between France and Spain. We had a vacation with daily hiking. Some of the landscapes we visited reminded me very strongly of those from Lost Eden, way up the page...

So, you see, I had 3ds Max running on that machine. The Source SDK as well. Sony Vegas. All of it was slow; you bet I had to use some workarounds to squeeze performance out of software, and that I had to keep a close, watchful eye on RAM usage. But I worked on this thing. I really did! I animated this video’s facial animation bits (warning: this is old & bad) on the eee PC, during the evenings of the trip, when we were back at our accomodation. The Faceposer tool in the Source SDK really worked well on that machine.

I also animated an entire video solely on the machine (warning: also old and bad). It had to be rendered on the desktop computer... but every single bit of the animation was crafted on the eee PC.

I made it work.

Speaking of software that did not run well: around that time, I also played the original Crysis. The “but can it run Crysis?” joke was very much justified back then. I had to edit configuration files by hand so that I could run the game in 640x480... because I wanted to keep most of the high-end settings enabled. The motion blur was delicious, and it blew my mind that the effect made the game feel this smooth, despite wobbling around in the 20 to 30 fps range.

Alright. It’s time to finish writing this damn post and publish it at last, so I’m going to close it out by listing some more memories and games that I couldn’t work in up there.

Advance Wars. Strategy game on GBA with a top-down level editor. You better believe I was all over the editor right away.

BioShock. When we got the 2007 desktop computer, it was one of the first games I tried. Well, its demo, to be precise. Its tech and graphics blew my mind, enough that I saved up to buy the full game. This was before I had a Steam account; I got a boxed copy! I think it might have been the last boxed game I ever bought? It had a really nice metal case. The themes and political messages of the game flew way over my head, though.

Mirror’s Edge. The art direction was completely fascinating to me, and it introduced me to Solar Fields’ music; my most listened artist this decade, by a long shot.

L.A. Noire. I lost myself in its stories and investigations, and then, I did it all again, with my sister at the helm. I very rarely play games twice (directly or indirectly), which I figure is worth mentioning.

Zeno Clash. It was weird and full of soul, had cool music, and cool cutscenes. It inspired me a lot in my early animation days.

Skyward Sword. Yep, going back to Zelda on that one. The whole game was pretty good, and I’m still thinking about how amazing its art direction was. Look up screenshots of it running in HD on an emulator... it’s outstanding. But there’s a portion of the game that stands tall above the rest: the Lanayru Sand Sea. It managed to create a really striking atmosphere in many aspects, through and through. I still think about it from time to time, especially when its music comes on in shuffle mode.

Wandersong. A very recent pick, but it was absolutely a life-changing one. That game is an anti-depressant, a vaccine against cynicism, a lone bright and optimist voice.

I realize now this is basically a “flawed but interesting and impactful games” list. With “can establish its atmosphere very well” as a big criteria. (A segment of video games that is absolutely worth exploring.)

I don’t know if I’ll ever make my own video game. I have a few ideas floating around and I tried prototyping some stuff, though my limited programming abilities stood in my way. But either way, if it happens one day, I hope I’ll manage to channel all those years of games into the CULMINATION OF WHAT I LIKE. Something along those lines, I reckon.

#video games

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ladyhavilliard · 6 years

Text

Since Before We Met

Part 1

--> Next Part

My Masterlist

Summary: Feyre Archeron is moving to Velaris to study art at Velaris University. Not only can her dream of becoming an artist come true, but she’s finally meeting her best friend- Rhysand, a boy she met through Tumblr three years ago.

Pairing: Feyre Archeron x Rhysand

If you want to be tagged in this fic or any of my works, send me an ask.

This is the first multichapter I’ve ever written and even though I’ve already posted it on my old blog, I’m still excited to show it to you again. For everyone who’s reading it for the first time, or if by any chance some of you decide to read it again - Thank you. I really hope you like how this turned out. There are 8 parts in total. I’ll upload twice a week.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, inhaling the sweet scent of overpriced coffee and butter croissants. The sound of people dragging their suitcases, the loud talking and the flight announcements could be heard from everywhere around, making the airport too noisy for anyone‘s liking. But there was something else, something new, but somehow familiar, that made this place so very wonderful.

Velaris. I had finally made it to Velaris, the city where dreams came true.

The city where he lived.

And just when I thought about him, my phone buzzed from inside my pocket. I smiled, already knowing what I would see.

1 unread message from Rhys

I clicked on the notification, then bit my lip to hide the ever-growing smile.

Hello, darling. Welcome to Velaris.

I rolled my eyes at the name he always called me, but couldn‘t stop the heat that crept its way to my cheeks.

Is that it? I asked. I expected a welcome party. Or at least a wonderful present. Where‘s the fic you promised you‘d write me?

I didn‘t expect him to do anything, if I was being honest. Though I wasn‘t lying for the fanfiction- he promised to write me one months ago. I couldn‘t blaim him, I still hadn‘t shown him the fanart I did for him, either.

It was partly how we met, though I don‘t know if „met“ was the right word. We have never seen each other.

Three years ago, he found my blog on Tumblr. I had made it after I read the „Throne of Glass“ book series and started painting characters and scenes I liked. Rhys had a fandom blog too, but instead of painting, he loved writing. One day he saw my art and was inspired to write a multichapter, which I turned out to be obsessed with. At first, we talked about the books we loved. Later, this thing between us grew into a real friendship, we texted each other every single day ever since and had often talked trough video chat. He helped me trough the worst time of my life and became my closest person. Not even my sisters knew me so well.

And after three years, I was finally going to meet him in person.

Isn‘t seeing me a present good enough? Rhys typed back.

Prick.

Always for you, darling.

Then the three dots, announcing he was writing something, appeared. They stayed for a minute, too long for the few words he ended up sending me.

I‘m sorry I can‘t meet you at the airport.

I rolled my eyes. He had told me the night before, that it was his cousin‘s birthday and he had promised to give her a ride.

It‘s fine, Rhys. I‘m not a damsel in distress and you don‘t need to pretend to be the prince in shiny armor. I‘m perfectly capable of going to the university myself.

I know that. And you have to admit black suits are much more handsome than shiny armor, so I may not be a prince, but you still won‘t be able to take your eyes off of me.

You are impossible, I replied, trying- and obviously failing- not to smile.

It isn’t a bad thing, you know? Because I won’t be able to look at something that’s not you, too.

I blushed once more, happy that he wasn‘t there to see it.

I‘ll see you soon, was the only thing I texted before shoving my phone back into my pocket.

The ride to the college was a fast one. I took a cab from the airport and after around 20 minutes, I was standing in front of Velaris University of Arts.

For years, I dreamt to go here. Even before I knew Rhys or the fact he was living here.

Finding my dorm room was difficult. The building was much bigger than I thought and I got lost in the same corridors at least four times. But at the end, I made it.

I was to share a room with two more girls and it looked like they were already here.

There were three beds next to each other, a window over the one in the middle, a door to what I assumed was the bathroom next to the one on the right. A girl with short black hair and unnatural silver eyes was laying on the bed on the left side, a book in hands.

„You‘re Feyre, I assume,“ she said when I walked trough the door. No one told me my roommates’ names, so how she knew mine, I had no idea. „I‘m Amren. Mor is in the bathroom. The middle bed is yours“

The girl didn‘t even look at me as I started unpacking my things.

Then, a girl stormed out from the bathroom, almost jumping on the bed to take the phone she had left there. Her blond hair was tied in a braid that fell beautifully down her back. Just when I thought she hadn‘t noticed me, she looked at me and before I knew it, she pulled me into a bone-crashing hug.

„Why didn‘t you say you were here! I‘m Morrigan, but you can call me Mor.“ She told me. “I‘d love to get to know you, but I‘m in a hurry, because my stupid cousin was late again“she almost shouted the last words. Confused, I raised an eyebrow in a silent question, but it was answered when I heard a male voice speak from inside the bathroom.

„If you hadn‘t insist I braid your hair, it wouldn‘t have mattered“

I knew that voice. There was something so familiar about it, but Mor interrupted my thoughts before I could figure out what, screaming at the man again.

„Since you were so late anyway, you could‘ve at least brought your girlfriend“

„She‘s not my girlfriend“, he answered.

Mor shook her head, as if to say Sure, I believe you.

I heard steps moving closer, than the bathroom door closing.

„Anyway, what‘s your name?“ Mor turned her attention to me once more.

I opened my mouth to answer, but the man was faster than me.

„Feyre?“ he whispered unbelievingly.

I snapped my head to the direction the voice was coming from. My gaze landed on the most beautiful man I‘ve ever seen.

I wasn‘t prepared for it.

For a second, I didn‘t move. My eyes couldn‘t leave his. Suddenly, without even realizing it, I was moving towards him, then I was wrapping my arms around him, breathing him in.

„Looks like I got to see your pretty face, after all“, he laughed.

My lips twitched into a wide smile, but I didn‘t say anything. Instead, I buried my nose in his chest. He smelled of jasmine and ocean breeze.

I barely heard the sound of Mor‘s phone when she snapped a picture of us. I barely registered Amren‘s quiet murmurs, indicating she had left her book. There was only Rhys in the whole room, the whole world. And I was finally seeing him, finally able to touch him.

„If you don‘t let me go now, I‘m afraid you‘ll never be able to stay away from me“, he teased, though I knew he didn‘t want me to pull away.

„As charming and flattering as always“, I laughed again, then made a step backwards. Somehow, I managed to let go of him, not touching him anymore, though there still wasn’t much space between us.

“Feyre darling”, he whispered, his soft gaze focused on mine. There was a happy light in his eyes and that little smile on his face… I could look at him for hours.

Ever since I saw a picture of him, a month or two after we talked for the first time, I knew he was the most gorgeous person I’ve laid my eyes on. But seeing him with my own eyes, black tattoos swirling underneath his shirt, unbuttoned on the top, midnight dark hair glowing in the sunlight coming from the window, when he looked at me as if there was no one else in the room… It felt as though he came from some other world. Perhaps a world I also belonged to.

Mor cleared her throat behind me and I realized we had been silently staring at each other for over a minute.

Rhys’s eyes left mine and he blinked once, twice, remembering where he was. When we both looked at his cousin, she crossed her arms, a golden eyebrow raised.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you, but it is my birthday and we are already late for our reservation.”

“She’s eager to go, because Andromache is waiting for her. I want us to leave, because if we don’t, Cassian is probably going to burst into this room and I won’t bear the thought of any of you, horrible creatures, being near my books and jewels” said Amren. Now, when she was standing, I realized how much shorter she was. But somehow, she made me feel as though I was the smaller one. She looked young and ancient at the same time and I knew she wasn’t one to mess with. Even so, her eyes were almost soft, making it clear, that she did mean well. For now, at least.

“Your birthday. Right.” Murmured Rhys under his nose. “Do you want to come with us?” he asked me.

Go to a party, get to know my new roommates, meet new people? Get a drink or two?

Spend the whole night with my best friend, who I had never hung out with?

A part of me screamed to agree, to go with them, to have fun. To be with him. From the look the birthday girl gave me, I knew she wouldn’t mind.

“I probably shouldn’t”, my voice felt as if it belonged to someone else. “I have to unpack my things and get ready for my first classes tomorrow. Perhaps being late and falling asleep on the chair on my first day wouldn’t make the best impression.”

“Maybe you are right”, Rhys answered. Still, I could see the disappointment written on his face as clear as day.

When you come, I’ll show you Velaris. I’ll take you stargazing. And when you have savored every detail of the beautiful night sky, you’ll paint it, capturing all the lights and colors on the canvas while I watch you, pouring your love and soul into the painting.

That’s what he had told me the night I said him that I was accepted into Velaris University. That we were not only going to meet, but live in the same town. It had been a promise, one I would make sure he’d keep. Maybe it wouldn’t happen on my first day in town, but I’ve already waited three years. I could wait a few days more, if it meant having this perfect night.

So I just put a light smile on my face, looking at Mor. “Happy Birthday”, I congratulated her, then moved my gaze to Rhys again.

“Will I see you later?”

“I still haven’t left and you already can’t wait to see me. I’ll take you really like what you’re looking at”, his lips formed his legendary grin and I felt the urge to roll my eyes for what felt like the thousandth time today. At last, I decided to go with the usual “Prick”

“Can I come tomorrow? Text you to know when you’re free?” he asked.

I nodded.

I was already looking forward to it.

@hellas-himself @alexisnm95 @rhysand-darling @dreams-of-feysand @official-mort @urbisie @crimson-dusk (sorry, for some reason the tags don’t work for you..)

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elliotwarren · 6 years

Photo

🎊 happy birthday gabriel adams! 🎊

It was always his eyes that people noticed first. Well. That was a lie. If they got past his skin color, the way his fingers dug into his arms, the soft whispers to invisible things, it was his eyes. Silver, Meg always said, making him sound something special. Gabriel let a smile tweak his features and brushed dark, messy hair off his forehead. That was just as pointless as correcting Meg.

all art pictured was commissioned by me and are not free to use. feel free to dm me for specific credits.

I’m about to unpack a lot of shit and get way more intimate with everyone on this blog than I have previously, so I hope you’re mentally prepared for this. It’s going to be a hard read, but I’ve been wanting to talk about this stuff for a long time.

so almost every year I try to talk about my oldest character, Gabriel. This year, I wanted to dig a little deeper, and address myself as a writer. Within the last couple of years, I’ve had to own up to some shit with this character. I was a bad writer.

“No, Elliot, you weren’t bad! You were just - “

No folks, I’m not discussing my skill as a writer. I’m specifically addressing my treatment of people, representation, and stereotypes.

I was a shitty person.

cw for ableism, discussion of own health, suicide mention, drug use in a fictional character, and general shitty handling of mental illness.

I’m not super positive Gabriel started as Gabriel. The earliest I remember him was a novel I wrote my Freshman year - in 2006ish. I think I vaguely remember him existing as a something earlier on in middle school, but nothing concrete until later. My first ever novel! It was exactly 100 pages, front and back, written in black pen. It was a blatant rip off of an Anne Rice novel where vampires took over a city and killed and ate them in their court. I don’t even remember if that was actually the plot, but I do remember it being Anne Rice inspired, which is a whole other problem altogether. Towards the end of the novel, I asked my friends in choir class to check off next to character names to decide who died.

I think 3 out of 45 characters made it out alive. Also there were 45 characters. Many of them had scenes from their POV. Yeah.

Gabriel wasn’t the protagonist then, and he rarely has been until the last handful of years. He was just an edgy probably vampire guy who appeared at random with cryptic warnings, who periodically would get the protagonist out of trouble while also existing as a side antagonist. He did survive - although barely.

Later, I had the super unique wild idea to make him ‘crazy’. I took to roleplay forums, where other teenagers I barely knew told me that my writing was good and my character was interesting, and I plagued them with my edgy, cool, sometimes serial killer character that all the girls were into. Sometimes the guys, which I was cool with - after all, I had a lesbian couple as a friend in high school. You know, I was tolerant.

Made you uncomfortable yet? Me too.

Gabriel was the troubled white boy who heard voices and saw ghosts, somehow got by as a homeless teenager, and sometimes he killed people but it was definitely not his fault. He went on to win character of the month on a forum based around experimental testing inside an asylum. I was ecstatic. I took him everywhere, and people loved him. Not one person called me out. Not a one.

My freshman year of college, I joined a group on deviantart, where talented artists I’d admired from a distance were glad to have a rare writer, and after making a nervous start with another character I stepped in with Gabriel. The group was entirely based around the story line, as well as critique and self-improvement. I was ecstatic.

With the assistance of a roleplay partner - now my roommate - I went on to finish my first novel in years, with Gabriel as one of two protagonists. I still have it, somewhere, printed out in a binder. Pretty sure I left it at a friend’s house. It featured Gabe, and my roommate’s character, after Gabriel ‘accidentally’ almost killed her because of the voices and kidnapped her to his apartment in an attempt to fix his mistake. The novel ended with Gabriel realizing he was an idiot, and heavily implied that he killed himself via morphine, which he was also somewhat addicted to for no apparent reason.

At some point in the mess, I down spiraled. I was upset and miserable and something in my brain finally cracked. I’d been dealing for years what I later learned to be chemical depression, but a specific event in my life caused a complete and total meltdown. I stopped writing. I was constantly making posts to tumblr rather than talking to anyone about how I wanted to kill myself. I stopped going to class, stopped seeing people, and my roommate at the time heard me crying at night more than once. I was completely devastated, and I will never forgive that person.

Later, I made a bigger mistake and lost someone very close to me. In the last couple of years I’ve come to terms that I was definitely in love with her. I can never repair that damage. I snapped, for awhile, and became obsessive and gross and just a really shitty person.

I eventually realized college and the situations were killing me, and after 4 and a half years - so close to graduating, everyone said, not realizing I’d failed most of my classes - I made the decision to drop. I moved in with my old college roommate, bummed around their house, and intended to go back to work at a summer camp like I did every year. Except I got fired, for essentially being too old and likely for budget reasons, as I made more than everyone else there.

Obviously this was really good for my mental health.

Somewhere during the mess I started taking a look at self improvement, and turned back to writing. More specifically, what I was doing wrong. The more I wrote the more I started looking into developing Gabriel as a character, with an actual background I wasn’t making up to seem edgy as I hopped from forum to forum, and I started looking into how to write him accurately.

And I mourned all that time and all the damage I did and how many people who probably silently put up with my shit.

I spent years writing Gabriel as this deranged, unhinged being who hurt other people. Now I try to make up for it - I spend extensive time reading articles on mental illness, specific case studies, listening to interviews and doing my best to soak up every little detail I can.

Gabriel is schizophrenic, primarily experiencing mild visual hallucinations and occasional auditory hallucinations, typically in times of stress. He does not kill people - if he does, it has nothing to do with his mental health and more to do with that, once again, Gabriel is a vampire. Like me, he copes with depression and anxiety, born of a situation. I shifted Gabriel from being a shitty, ‘crazy’ white boy to a nervous, wary young man dealing with some shit that no one should have to deal with. I researched therapy, and coping mechanisms, and even found some that help me with my issues. I created Jamie, Gabriel’s psychiatrist and friend. I decided to cut some of the mayo out of my work and made Gabriel’s mother an immigrant from Mexico, and it’s been worth it! I get to research a fascinating, fun culture, and it has improved Gabriel as a character to have a culture.

I realized, at some point, that I’m asexual - and Gabriel is too. I’ve put a lot of myself into him. It’s been therapeutic, and I feel better about Gabriel as a character.

There’s been a lot of change over the years. Gabriel is an entirely different person, and it has greatly affected and I think improved my writing. More than anything, it has changed my outlook on everything, and I hope that some day I can some how make up for all the damage I did with presenting him the way I did. People with schizophrenia are no more likely to hurt or kill someone than anyone else, and many if not most serial killers are just shitty entitled white people. Like me.

It’s been a long time - at least 12 years, if not more. I’ve changed a lot. Gabriel has too. I hope that the next 12 years let me finally finish telling a story about him, and that the world as a whole stop tip toeing around mental illness. I wish someone had told me 12 years ago that making someone ‘crazy’ wasn’t cool or neat or unique, and that I was a super toxic, harmful person.

I’m never going to be writing a story about what it’s like to live and cope with mental illness. While I deal with it, it’s not really my story to tell. I’m never going to tell a tale about what it’s like to be the son of a Mexican immigrant in shitty white america. That’s not my job either. I might tell the story of being a queer asexual, because that definitely applies to me. But Gabriel is a vivid person to me, and I’m glad I’ve learned proper representation. I’m sure I’ll still make mistakes, and I keep waiting for someone to call me out on something. I wish someone had. I wish someone had said, hey, if your protagonist is also the villain and the only mentally ill person in the story, you’re a bad writer and you should feel bad.

That’s your personal call out, if it applies. I hope not.

Don’t be afraid of representation of the ‘touchy’ subjects. But do right by them. Talk to people from those situations, read stories by people from those situations whether it’s relevant or not, watch interviews, see movies. If you can’t do right by a culture or an illness or a person, that’s okay. But take a step back, work hard, and just go for it. Don’t be afraid to ask for opinions, critique, help.

Please. Learn from your mistakes.

I talked a whole fucking lot and if you read all of it, you’re a star. Good night.

#writeblr #writing #character development #gabe tag #about me tag #ok to reblog i GUES #s

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ask-bored-monika · 6 years

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Mod update: What comes next?

Well, here we are. Our first special event, checking in with the “lost girls”, has come to an end (if you missed the conclusion, click here to read it!) Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki are no longer available for asks. Now, to answer why it took so long. (this is gonna be a few paragraphs but there’s a TL;DR near the bottom if you don’t have the time)

In the time I was gone, I was working on summer work... actually, no, most of that was watching YouTube videos. But now I’m actually in school, and trying to manage my time better. Because of this, despite it seeming like I’ve come back from my hiatus, I want to be clear that this, in all likelihood, won’t be the start of a regular upload schedule. I work best on random bursts of inspiration, and realizing that it was DDLC’s first birthday did that for me yesterday.

That being said, as I’ve mentioned before, I have plans for this blog that I want to at least attempt - especially since I now have 400+ people following it (speaking of which, thank you to everyone’s who stuck around!) First, I have to finish the cliffhanger I left the main plot off on back around... Easter, I think? This will take two posts, one which will require lots of editing work on my end, and one that should be much less stressful in that aspect. Since it’s been so long, here’s the last post from before the event to make sure we’re all on the same page.

From there, I have a bunch of old asks I want to use up before the start of the next proper arc (though feel free to send more stuff to Monika if you think of something interesting to say!). That arc will be when the stuff from the event becomes relevant, but I won’t spoil anything more than that. When that arc concludes, the format of this blog will be changing in a big way, which... well... let’s just say my art skills will have to be up to par by then.

I have no clue when the next ARG/side event will be, but I’m definitely excited for when I get the idea/chance to do it again. Otherwise, there’s a secret project I’m working on in relation to this blog. Again, I don’t know when that will be done, but it should only take me one weekend with enough free time to get it made. If you want to see it as soon as it gets posted, you should subscribe to my YouTube channel, Agent Raven.

So TL;DR, I need to finish the main plot event when I get the time, and then it’ll be back to answering asks for Monika. I’ll try to make a schedule and stick to it, but no promises. When I’m out of old and new asks I want to answer, I’ll transition to the next arc, where the stuff from the special event we just finished will be relevant. At some point during all that, I’ll be posting the secret project to my YouTube channel.

To wrap things up, I want to thank my supporters again, and, as annoying as it probably is to hear, remind y’all that liking and reposting my in-character posts gives me extra motivation to keep this up. As proof, anyone remember when I announced my Monster Prom ask blog, @ask-spooky-high? Well, I haven’t posted to it in months, because after my first post, it took months to get just 1 more ask. Like this blog, I had plans for that one, but nearly all my motivation for it has gone down the drain.

Anyway, point is, I love y’all, I hope you stick around, and feel free to reblog, comment, or even send asks with your opinions on my work. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some sleep (I’m writing this in advance). Keep being awesome. This is Agent Raven, signing off.

#mod message #2018 update

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killr-cupcake · 6 years

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Tagged

Tagged by: @inferablossom

Rules: Answer 30 questions tag 20 blogs (I don’t have that many mutuals,,, why)

Nicknames: Cupcake, Ric, Killer (for some reason? I prefer to be called cupcake by peeps on tumblr dot com and Ric by friends? Whenever I’m playing TF2 strangers call me killer and it’s frustrating like,,, no,,, call me cupcake soldier plz lmao)

Gender: Cis Male (Tho I effing h8 gender expectations and binaries like the plague I still identify as my assigned gender idk)

Sign: Scorpio? (Half of astrologists tell me I’m Scorpio and the other half tell me I’m Sagittarius so I don’t stick to astrology only because of that)

Height: 5’6

Time: 08:40 PM (I finished at 09:40 PM OOF I take my sweet time with these things)

Birthday: November 22nd

Fave bands: uhhhh F-Fallout Boy...? ,,, Florence and the machine? I don’t really listen to that many bands

Fave solo artists: Lady Gaga, Marina and the diamonds, LOLO, Ariana Grande, Lana del rey, CupcakKe

Song stuck in my head: Your Reality from DokiDoki Literature Club (Poor Monika broke my heart she’s like all a villain, a side character, a romantic interest and a protagonist all in one character I’m,,,)

Last movie I saw: Lady Gaga 5 foot 2 (She’s a literal angel)

Last show I watched: Ru Paul’s drag race (I just started it and it’s p good) and Brooklyn 99 (I like to think it’s from an AU where cops aren’t pigs so people can shut up about how it’s cop propaganda, we get, irl cops are bad, let me watch my show it’s not gonna make me trust them automatically)

When did I create my blog: 2016 the cursed year, I think

What do I post: memes, humor or happy stuff, danganronpa, rainbow six siege, team fortress 2, overwatch, doki doki literature club, general gay and POC culture, sometimes witchy stuff or moodboards and important posts (reblog to save a life or mindblowing social justice kind of stuff), sometimes I fall for the ‘rb for money’ kinds of notebaits lol

Last thing I googled: r6s dokkaebi

Do I have any other blogs?: yES!!! I have an art blog @cupcake-sketchbook and a couple of rp/ask blogs for my tf2 OCs @g3n3tic4l-pyromania @ask-pastelbattlemedic and @ask-pastelspy (I’ve been trying to limit myself from making new OCs but I just,,, love my babies so much???)

Do I get asks?: Not really, I’d like to because I could do a lil’ drawing or add a sassy GIF to answer but I’m fine I guess

Why did I choose my url: I’m both into very girly (nail art, baking, beauty yada yada) and stereotypical male-ish stuff (guns, knives, edgy garbage, yada yada) and I liked this duality about me so I had this going on about me and one day I just gravitate towards a cupcake shop that had a heavy metal vibe and I just KNEW I belonged there (It closed, RIP :c) so I come up with this knife/cupcake thing and liked it (It also was a little bit of a joke about bad creepypasta OCs that just took Jeff the killer and anime-fied him and I went, hahaha look cupcake the killer and I liked how it sounded lol) and went wow, Killer cupcake (I also write killer like KillR because my name starts with an R so there’s that)

Following: 291 (I follow a lot of shit,,,)

Followers: 199 (wait what? wtf how? I love y’all? I may do a quick art piece thanking y’all???)

Average hours of sleep: 6 tho I’d like 8 or more lmao I’m so lazy

Lucky number: idk 13

Instruments: I learned how to play the flute but I forgot already, tho I have very good rhythm so I can pass as an amateur with guitars and pianos (Marceline from Adventure Time, who plays the bass pretty good but doesn’t even know how to read music and Marina Diamandis who taught herself how to play piano irl are my eternal aesthetic tbh)

What am I wearing: my PJs that consist of old sweatpants (I only wear sweatpants as pjs I’m all for skinny jeans) and an old sweatshirt (again, I only wear them for pjs cuz I’m all for hoodies)

Dream job: Illustrator for a magazine or english teacher, I’d like to be a freelance artist in my free time either way

Dream trip: I’d like to go to Spain to see my online best friend @robeca-black or I’d like to go to Canada (It’s cold and very modern and my fav blogger and vlogger live there)

Fave food: Anything Italian that includes pasta, cheese, tomato sauce or preferentially all three

Nationality: Mexican

Fave song: I have a LOT of personal anthems like Happy by Marina and the Diamonds or Marry the night/Born this way by Lady Gaga but I think aside from #relatableness I really like G.U.Y. by Lady Gaga

Last book I read: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley (VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN IS A COWARD WHO DIDN’T LOVE HIS UGLY AS FUCK GOTH SON AND I HATE HIM)

Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: Overwatch, Undertale, Danganronpa (I’d probably die in all of them LMFAO)

Tagging: UHHHHH @its-the-lovely-darkness @jasminetea-and-narcolepsy @imthinkingaboutme (sorry gurl you don’t rlly hafta do it I just wanted to tag ppl so I don’t feel like a failure lol) @annsparksthegmr @devils-toxic-love @ya-dood (did you just heccing change your URL AGAIN) UHHHHH ??? I??? ran out of mutuals??? who tf has 20 mutuals??? I uhhhh,,,??? bye???

#tag meem

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bentchcreates · 6 years

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Beyond Light and Darkness, A Kathbute Anthology (Part 2)

Let me begin 2018 with an awesome review of our awesome book! I’m very proud of this – I was part of the new writer judging, the editing, and I wrote the preface! – and if you want to know this book’s journey from conception to publishing I wrote a lengthy blog on that last year.

In this second part of the #BLaD blog posts, I’ll be reviewing it as a reader and I’ll try to review it as objectively as I can. ;) Here’s what I think of the 11 stories by the Kathbute Authors, because while a general review of the book is appreciated, it always feels great for anthology authors to read about their works individually.

I. Love Bits

1. The Watch Repairman’s Son – H. Bentham Prompts: A broken wristwatch, peppermints, and a hug that goes too far.

LOL at reviewing this objectively! XD This is my work and for me it’s the best! Hahaha!

Anyway, a trivia about this story: This is actually my first Sancho de Guerra story. I finished writing this almost a full year before “Guide for A Day” appeared in Summer Feels but this took a while to see the light of day. The town I envisioned here is a wee bit different from the one I imagined for the later story, but you wouldn’t really notice. All the bits that got published can go together, and as of this writing, I declare it as canon. ;)

2. Can I Stay? – Nigel Libranages Prompts: Tarot Cards, the coming winter, a pair of old leather boots

This is more of a romantic fiction than romance but the feels, especially the melancholy, is on point. The tone seems levelheaded, but there’s something subtle in how it’s presented that tugs at the heartstrings just right. I must commend both the clever interpretation of the given prompts and the vivid visualization of the settings. Sandra’s characterization is also well fleshed out, justifying her decisions through the end of this short story.

II. Spell Crafts

3. Potion Lunacy – Irina Jean Prompts: The first day of school, a love note, a recipe with a significant mistake

The YA Fantasy theme in this one is cute and reminds me so much of quirky 2000’s anime. Feisty Portia is stubborn but also a bit insecure and her love interest, Gelen, is just the right amount of clumsy and torpe to be endearing. The fun and fast-paced banter depicts the youthfulness of the characters accurately. And the magic parts, though light, are solid and well thought of.

4. Etienne and Amelie – Johanna Lee Prompts: A supporting fairytale character, a lake, pretenses

This retelling of your favorite fairytales retains the fantastical magic of our childhood reads. I’m not going to say which tales get beautifully mashed-up because I think the figuring out is part of the story’s charm. The visualization and choice of words are commendable, as well as the surprising twist at the very end. You have to read this carefully. Blink, and you’ll miss it.

5. Man in Between – Trix Luna Prompts: old train, jewels, an inconvenient truth

This story wasn’t in the original manuscript I got to read in the editing phase so reading it for the first time in the book is quite an experience. It is told in the second person POV, something I rarely get to read and the spec fic theme is also somewhat fresh to me. I don’t know how best to describe it without spoilers except that I thought it felt transcendental. The choice of words really got to me and it was…unsettling, in the way good fiction affects readers even after the story ends.

III. Distortions

6. The Time Banker – Raine Rillera Prompts: A name, a prison cell, music

The sci-fi/spec fic concept for this one has been wonderfully executed, and the interpretation of the prompts, though subtle and downplayed, were key elements in the advancement plot. This is one of the stories chosen after our writing contest and I remembered that even the rough draft of this one was solid so the edited version in the print made for an awesome reread.

7. The Trial of the Tainted – Trix Luna Prompts: A heroic villain, an old parchment, an unforgivable sin

Space and time-travelling were the themes of this interesting short story. I loved the world-building in this one and the twist and turns it took to get to that ‘heroic villain’ bit. There is also an underlying subtheme of a familiar story that everyone knows by now so the marriage of sci-fi elements to that story kind of updated the mysterious plot.

8. Word Wisp – AlaraChan IDA Prompts: aerobics, a secret diary, something unpleasant under the bed

With prompts like those, familiar stories immediately come to mind about monsters and inner demons, yada, yada…but this interpretation of the boogeyman trope is fresh and brilliant. The monster here isn’t a thing, more of a concept, and it doesn’t kill, but rather consumes something everyone often takes for granted. I especially loved the world apocalypse scenes and the people’s reactions to it in this story’s universe.

IV. Penumbra

9. Allegro – RK Sanchez Prompts: A name, a prison cell, music

Our cover artist also contributed a story here, and it is one on the darker themes. This time the mystery is more psychological and less fantastical but is just as interesting as all the other stories. The author takes a different turn with the interpretation of the prompts and offers a sweet twist toward the end.

10. Thirty-Seven – Yelle Felicenny Prompts: A stolen ring, fear of spiders, a sinister stranger

This was one of my anticipated reads in this book because I only got to read the first part during the editing phase. There’s a bit of action, adventure and mystery here but what really got me was the dark turn of events at about the final quarter of the story.

11. Darker Than Night- AlaraChan IDA Prompts: a campfire, a scream, a small lie that gets bigger and bigger

This is uniquely written in epistolary style/journal entries, and is a dark but captivating read. I don’t read a lot of horror stories (everyone knows I’m a coward, lol) but I couldn’t put this down! I wanted to know what happens to the aswang and the military party that’s pursuing it!

5 of 5 Stars. Because I’m super proud of our work, and it is an honor to have worked on this with awesome writers and awesome people!

Blurb: The 11 stories in this anthology showcase the interpretations of the Kathbute writers to the theme of light and darkness in the genres of Romance, Fantasy, Science Fiction, and Mystery.

Buy Links:

Right now it’s only available in print here: bit.ly/BLADBatch2

I’ll update this when the Kindle version is released. J

For the meantime, put it in your GoodReads TBR shelf? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36995364-beyond-light-and-darkness-a-kathbute-anthology

About the authors:

Nigel Libranages Nigel Libranages is a licensed chemist but dreams of becoming a marine biologist and take care of sea turtles. Born as a genuine sinker, the closest that he can do about his dream is own an aquarium. He has pitcher plants for pets, and he loves reading about myths and folklore. He writes before he forgets. Dedication: To those who are strong enough to hold on, and brave enough to let go.

Wattpad: @libranages

Raine Rillera Born and raised in Baguio City, Raine has a natural affinity to cold weather and “vintage” clothing (i.e. ukay). Her first paying job was as a puppeteer, when at 8 years old she staged her own puppet show at a birthday party. Since then, she has been telling stories through whatever medium was available.

Wattpad: @purple_porpoise

H. Bentham H. Bentham was born and raised in the Philippines but now resides 1,481 miles away from home. He battles homesickness with his various hobbies and (mostly) procrastinating on the internet. When he's done being bored, he writes stories; and when he's feeling particularly profound, poems. He adores turtles and bettas, enjoying the slow, quiet companionship they provide.

Wattpad: @bentchbites|Facebook: H Bentham Writes | Twitter: @bentchbites| Instagram: @bentchbites

Irina Jean Irina Jean is an elusive mushroom who indulges in anime, manga, video games, and most of all, art. She believes that writing is a unique form of art too, for she can express herself with words as her paint and her laptop as her canvas. When she's not writing, she's usually binge-gaming with friends. She dreams of being a webcomic artist and, if possible, a space witch. (Actually, any kind of witch would do.)

Wattpad: @Cygneux|Facebook: Irina Jean

Trix Luna Trix is the self-proclaimed duchess of the East of the Sun and West of the Moon, a place where there is always light when you need it. She’s still waiting for her Hogwarts acceptance letter even though she is already sorted to Ravenclaw. She’s not adept at any game ending in –ball (basketball, football, volleyball, etc.) other than Quidditch and Scrabble. She has a one-sided relationship with music and strongly opposes to divorce with it, believing that music will learn to love her singing voice…eventually.

Wattpad: @lunatrix|Facebook: Trix Luna | Twitter: @3xLuna

AlaraChan IDA AlaraChan IDA is a kabute who like books, cats, and hot chocolate. She takes long quiet walks, bike rides, and binge-watching a number of TV series to keep her muse alive and kicking. She dreams of becoming a pod racer, a dragon-tamer, and a space pirate. She recently took up watercolor painting and is now torn between writing and the arts.

Wattpad: @AlaraChan| Instagram: @alara_arts

Johanna Lee Johanna Lee is a Filipino writer based in Western Australia who writes poetry, and fictional stories in the genre of Chicklit, Romance, and Paranormal. A published Tagalog Romance author, Radish Fiction writer, and a Children’s-storyteller-wannabe. She finds joy in her collection of toys, books, stationery, and old-fashioned writing tools.

Twitter: @ilivewritenow| Instagram: @ilivewritenow

Yelle Felicenny Felicenny is an awkward melange of multiple extremes: an artist hemmed in a thriving tycoon’s body. While business is her field of study and training remote communities is her passion in public service, her heart belongs to art, poetry and travelling. Bus rides, sunsets and coffee shops are among her favorite things, for the untamed muse beckons the most - inked on bus tickets, receipts and table napkins.

Wattpad: @Felicenny| Facebook: Yelle Felicenny

R.K. Sanchez R.K. Sanchez is a teacher by profession, but is fond of learning a lot of things from her students. Her hands are often dirty as she is a right-handed artist and guitarist, often having guitar string marks on her left hand fingertips and paint stains all over her right hand. She is an introvert who has always been afraid of meeting and approaching new people, but never afraid of approaching stray cats and dogs.

Wattpad : @PrivateHeroine| | Facebook: Skribsinner | Instagram: @skribsinner

#bookish #bentchcreates #bookreview #beyond light and darkness

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