#way of the househusband looking motherfucker

[hellenhighwater]

Why does Malice look like a mob boss waiting to get out of prison so she can take revenge on everyone who wronged her?

#way of the househusband looking motherfucker #malice would make you concrete shoes and then try to curl up and take a nap inside them #sometimes we call the catio/aviary “the Big House” because i got all these crimminals in there

[mysticmellowlove]

Some women believe the hottest profession a man can have is architecture. Some believe it’s a doctor. Some believe it’s being a house husband…. I believe the hottest job a guy can have is being your assistant.

Having a househusband is a cute idea, I mean really coming home to a clean house and a husband waiting to serve you. Butttttt…. What if you are a business women? I mean an international business women. Multiple businesses, seminars, meetings, global affairs- the list goes on.

We are making moves, this world has too many problems we have to solve. We can’t even see ourself just working one 9-5 job and coming home. Work is life. We have extreme ocean waste to solve and air pollution and toxic chemicals in food. How are we going to spend time with our husband? Alas! He is our own personal assistant. That means he gets to travel with us wherever we go whenever we go. We need him 🥺 he has all of our schedules.

It works out perfectly because he never wanted to be away from us and work is life but life isn’t worth living if he isn’t there with us. We depend on each other for multiple reasons. Isn’t such a cute idea though? Like a literal work god and her assistant husband. Everyone sees this tall intimidating looking motherfucker at her seminars holding a tablet with her busy schedule to the side of the stage and most people don’t even realize that’s he’s her husband. Everyone just thought he carried her Lattes. Little do they know that he has been her only lover for forever and all her minutes are basically consumed by him. She loves it! She gets to work and never has to be away from her little Pookie bear ❤️

Xoxo, 🍪

note; cookie i see you~ this is so cute and soft and perfect! just a lil something something on top of this wonderful little drabble.

You sighed as you finally slumped into the couch of the hotel your husband had booked for you. The front door clicked shut as he came into the room, looking over at your still work-tense figure. He had a simple smile on his face, a content look as he wandered over and knelt down to get your heels off your feet.

A sigh of relief left you as you finally tucked your legs underneath you, your head pressed against the plush cushion as you watched him bumble around calmly. He set down his satchel, holding all of your files and important notes, and his tablet before he too basically jumped onto the couch next to you.

A bubbly laugh left you as he laid his weight on your side, his stubble tickling your shoulder as he sighed out contently.

"Today was a massive success right?" He grinned as he tilted his head up to look at you. warmth filled you as you looked down at him, a smile on your face. He had been so accepting and hardworking. You knew he was a little concerned at the start of your relationship. You were such a busy person and he was so connected to his home country but love had a funny way of making things work.

Now you two travelled the world. You were a renowned awareness worker and he was your dedicated assistant. Without him, you'd be lost. He had all your schedules, meetings, details and factsheets. He managed your finances and ensured you two always had a place to crash at the end of the day. He also did vacations and tailoring, he was a one-man show and you loved him so dearly for it.

You turned your body so he was lying on your stomach and caressed his face, holding his cheeks between your hands. Dipping forward you gave him a chaste kiss on his mouth, relaxing into him as you two were finally alone.

"I'd say so." You whispered as he sighed into you. You loved your work but this was your favourite part of the day. Spending time with your loving husband, nothing could beat it.

#love for anon #fem reader #soft hours #sub male

[lemonmaid]

Random headcannons I have about characters in Twistes Wonderland

Vil Schoenheit

Is an absolute slut for tacobell, or a fast food white people taco place. Listen, hear me out, as much he cares about dieting and fitness, some days he just craves fast food. Like that one scene in shrek 2 were Fairy Godmother gets mad and asked the driver to pull over and ruins her diet. He probably stress eats in secret, maybe on the bathroom floor and cries.

Idia Shroud

Scams other students ( and Crowley) saying that he has their account/social security/phone hostage and the only way to get it back is to send money or give more account information so he could steal the account and sell it back to them.

Leona Kingscholar

The WORST picky eater ever. I could see him as a child refusing to eat anything that wasn't a fucking steak or burger. Like, he and his family would sit at the table and the family would start arguing about Leona not eating his dinner. Mom (because lioness are like head of the househusband) telling him that he isn't getting up untill he finishes his plate, the dad trying to defuse the situation while Falena is like "look! I finished my plate mom! Le Le you should eat it!" . This motherfucker still refuse to eat anything that's just green, but he can eat more things that aren't just meat, so there is small improvement.

Malleus Draciona

He really thought everyone came out of eggs for the longest time. Also I feel like due to him being absent from most social gathering he doesn't have the best social skills, so he will randomly state something that has nothing to due with the conversation. Also I think if he is ever introduced to a DS he would stay in chatrooms thinking and hoping for someone to join. (Very old device so no public chatrooms).

Idk these were things I have on the top of my head, send me stuff to think about.

#twisted wonderland #vil schoenheit #twst idia #twst leona #twst malleus #twst headcanons #twst vil #leona kingscholar #malleus draconia #idia shroud

[trashexplorer]

Title: Sunshine After Smoke Blue Rain vol. 1

Status: Completed (vol 1 ofc cause there be 3 vols oof)

Author/Artist: Hamada Kamome

Synopsis: 

The person who saved Sakutaro from a close brush with danger was none other than Kuji Shizuka, his co-worker-cum-rival and his old company’s top earner in the past. Even though Kuji’s detestable personality has remained unchanged in the eight years they were apart, he now surprisingly works as a translator and sports a longer hair-do to match his more mellowed out vibe.

I’m open to re-translation and can trade my vol. 1 cleans for the succeeding volumes. Please refer to my re-translations post to see if there already is a scan team re-translating this work in the same language you will be proposing.

Please don’t upload/post this on reading sites and don’t forget to support the author by buying the original goods if you can!

Spazz

Happy New Year, everyone!

Sorry for the late tumblr announcement yet again. Some of y'all might've already seen this floating around on the gsite, but I was trying to make some last minute changes before posting. I unfortunately had to let my pc rest in peace a few days ago, so I just decided to roll with it. 🙃

Anywho, I have many feelings but not enough words to accurately describe the devastating waterfall of tension that is Hamada Kamome’s Smoke Blue. First of all, have y’all seen how hot Kuji is??? LIKE, EXCUSE ME, IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THAT HOT IN LITERALLY EVERY FUCKING PANEL??? The way I was choosing a panel to insert here but ended up with all of them??? He had every single thing I wanted in a top-

HE’S A LONG-HAIRED, TURTLENECK WEARING, YES-I-DO-THE-COOKING-YES-I-DO-THE-CLEANING, INTELLECTUAL, SNARKY BUT 100% WHIPPED FOR HIS BEAU MOTHERFUCKER FOR GODDSAKES.

I would gladly smuggle drugs just so I could give my househusband Kuji the bougiest life he deserves. 

As for Azuma, the way I just had to go step away from the pc every few moments to cool myself down from his shenanigans. I won’t spoil any of them here. I want y’all to experience him for yourselves. Don’t let Kuji’s looks fool you, the person who has the reins on this relationship is actually this dumbass. 😂 Azuma too powerful. We’re all at his mercy ugh. But that’s exactly why I love Hamada Kamome’s recent bottoms. All the tops are pudding in the hands of their bottoms and all the bottoms take charge in and out of the bedroom. 🙈 Praise be.

#tes

[goffilolo]

TWO AND A HALF DEVILS AU (part 1)

Time for a bit of a rundown for this au (read this post to get the full context). It ended up being quite long, so i will write out the main events of this au in few parts:

Astaroth the Supreme Time Devil is off his shits trying to find a way around the hellgate to get into the human world. This guy has not slept for the past 3 days and downed like 7 monster drinks or whatever the hell equivalent of those is. Megicula is the unwilling audience of his batshit crazy rants that sound borderline like conspiracy theories.

“So after I figure out how to rip my soul and my magic away from each other I should be able to pass through the hell gates easily. Now, I know what you’re gonna say. ‘Astaroth but what will you do in the human realm without any magic?’ and the answer to that is you know how humans contract us to use some of our magic? Right? What if I instigate a faux contract with MYSELF to summon my own magic which would’ve been left behind in the underworld? So then-”

Megicula meanwhile is looking at him like:

And then, because Astaroth is a master of bullshitting his way through things IT FUCKIN WORKS…to some extent. His ass is now physically manifested in the human world, but it’s relatively unstable. Man can barely access his own magic and cannot stay there indefinitely.

Enter Licita.

Licita accidentally stumbles upon this motherfucker in the forest and is not impressed. Their interaction looks a little like this:

“Do you know who I am, human? I am Astaroth the supreme time devil! You better learn to fear me!”

“Oh yeah? In that case Mr Time Devil, can you tell me what time it is?”

“Uhh…that’s not how my magic works”

“I dunno, sounds to me like you’re just bad at your job”

So my girl Licita ends up roasting this guy to hell and back and then she gives him a pocket watch, and tells him that he will most likely need it more than she does and then calls him “A devil of fuck-all”. Astaroth is smitten to say the least.

Unfortunately he is physically unable to stay in the human realm for long periods of time, so his ass does eventually ‘dissolve’ if you will and returns to the underworld. The watch that Licita gave him is now his most prized possession and he takes it with him.

Fast forward a bit and Astaroth has been consistently manifesting in the human realm to become a full time simp and try to get Licita’s attention. Hage deadass had to get used to the fact that there is a devil roaming around, who is constantly being chased away by Licita with a broom. As per original post Licita does end up giving in and sleeping with him, believing that he was only after one night stand, while Astaroth is already planning their wedding. Fast forward a little bit more and what do you know? Licita is pregnant and my man Astaroth has been blessed with them stonks. So not only do they have a shotgun wedding, but Astaroth also convinces Licita to go through a devil marriage contract, which essentially binds Astaroth to her forever and it also stabilizes his manifestation in the human realm (magic is still very limited, cause bitches really can't have it all).

So now you got Astaroth quitting his job as supreme devil in the underworld to be a full time househusband in the countryside. This man has successfully learnt how to knit and he is about to make it everyone’s problem. He is getting ready to have the best dressed baby in all of Hage.

When the baby is born it comes out looking entirely human to everyone’s surprise. Just a split image of Licita. She does end up taking pity on her simp of a husband and names the baby after him. (Yes, this does mean that Asta’s actual, legal name on his birth certificate is ‘Astaroth Staria Junior’ and it literally never gets mentioned by anyone. Yuno doesn't even know what Asta’s full name is until they register for the magic knights exam).

So my man Astaroth now has a baby that he dotes on and he constantly goes around the village telling anyone who will listen (as well as those who won’t) about how cute his baby is. So the village does end up getting harassed by a devil in a way, if you can count aggressive updates on a baby’s developmental milestones as such.

#black clover #two and a half devils au #astaroth #licita

[daddy-cake]

Harvey Bullock Dad Headcanons

I'm only doing this because I'm fatherless and I like to imagine characters being great parents🚶

A/N: Reader is gender neutral, like always. @love-is-lovey helped me with some of the headcanons

Warnings: My terrible English

Please spear me and my ancestors

MASTERLIST

Many people suspected Harvey to be absolutely horrible with kids considering he's and man whore that gets drunk a lot, but many were surprised by the fact that he even had a child.

Many have tried to ask him who the mother was and Harvey kept on avoiding the question because let's be honest, motherfucker probably doesn't even remember who it was.

Definitely brings you to work since he doesn't know who to ask to watch you, however, it's a bit boring sometimes and you kinda just end up spinning in those chairs.

When you were like a baby, he definitely had those baby carriers and bring you on investigations.

Harvey: If you see anything suspicious let it be known.

6 month old you: *giggles and points at a bird*

Harvey: *puts the bird in hand cuffs*

Calls you his Little Detective even when you're in your mid 30's

I do imagine him being like Tatsu from The Way of the Househusband and doing yoga with a bunch of different moms with you.

If you wanted you and your dad to dress up as a superhero or a princess or whatever fantasy, he would do it out of pure fear of you.

*You and Havrey are driving you home from school*

You: I want ice crea-

Harvey: We got ice cream at home.

Would be those dads that swear they don't want a dog, but once you get one he is showering it with all of his love and affection.

I imagine interactions when he's coming home drunk look like this:

Harvey: *stumbling into the house* Guess who I met at the bar, Jim fuckiny Carrey!

You: Okay dad, let's get you to bed...

He would teach you how to fight and when the day finally arrives that you get into a fight at school, he would act disappointed in you in the principles' office but once you two get into the car his immediate question is "did you win?" If you say no he would be disappointed in you because he thought he taught you better; however, say yes and he will take you out for ice cream as a reward.

If there was a scenario where your life is in danger, he would act fast to try and save you. Sometimes even leaving Gordon behind just to save you.

At family dinners it's a hit or miss on whether you two will be attending since it is Gotham.

Harvey: Tell grandma that we won't be coming over for Thanksgiving because of The Rid-

You: Already on it.

But if you two do attend, there is that one family member that you two hate and just put up with during the event, but once you two are in the car you are complaining about them.

Is those protective dads towards your partners, would literally introduce the partner while cleaning a shotgun and would be tough cop on the person.

Harvey while cleaning shotgun: So you want to date my kid? Haven't done any drugs have you?

Partner: N-no...

Has those stereotypical white dad aprons that says "Kiss the Chef", and he does have a pink apron with little frills(all pretty) that he got as a gag gift from you on Father's Day but actually wears it on occasions.

If you were to come out to him as trans or anything under the trans umbrella, he would be accepting but he's just a bit confused with identities like gender fluid and non binary, still supportive though. Would never purposely dead name you or call you by the wrong pronouns, he usually quickly corrects himself. Definitely has beat the shit out of someone for purposefully dead naming you.

Dad jokes 24/7

Keeps arts and crafts projects that you made when you were like 5 in a box under his bed.

He would be the type of dad to arrive to your graduation drunk.

Has held you like this when you were a baby:

Overall he's a great dad but at times can be a terrible influence.

#gotham #gotham headcanon #gotham imagine #gender neutral reader #harvey bullock #harvey #not me projecting #not an x reader #wholesome #headcanons #imagine #gotham show #fatherless #fatherless behavior

[bugsbunnybisexual]

Only fools fall for you, only fools.

Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.

Random Baffy thoughts

Hi motherfuckers,

I have no idea what's gotten over me today but I cannot, for the life of me, stop thinking about Baffy. So much so that I made this blog on a valuable Friday that I should be using for productivity. Holy shit.

Keep reading if you wanna hear my spiels.

First, some easy-to-digest headcanons:

Bugs is 26, Daffy is 28

Bugs is bisexual biromantic, Daffy is demisexual biromantic

Bugs is Egogender, Daffy is Nonbinary and will describe his gender as "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Bugs Black, Daffy Black-Desi, specifically Bangladeshi

Daffy knows some broken-ass Bengali

Fools by Troye Sivan is a song that Bugs will sometime listen to and contemplate his romantic choices. LMAO but he will never tell Daffy that-

Bugs listens to a lot of Hip-Hop and old-school Rock. Daffy likes classic music because he thinks it makes him smarter. And older Desi music, like old movie ballads

Bugs has OCD. He's experienced depression before but it doesn't really flare up anymore

Daffy has OCD too. Don't @ me, all my faves get OCD okay? Along with that he has generalized anxiety disorder

Bugs likes reading about History & Physics

I like to think they have a sun/moon thing going on with Bugs being the sun and Daffy being the moon. All my ships have this dynamic, I know.

IDK there's more I can't remember right now...

Bugs' Flags:

Daffy's Flags:

Now, my basic idea for them...

If you notice in TLTS, Bugs doesn't HAVE to let Daffy stay with him, but he does. Though Daffy is basically a freeloader, Bugs never complains. To me, I definitely see this as Bugs being interested in Daffy in a more intimate way than one might think. Bugs has the ability to be roommates/housemates with other people who may have a job or whatever but Bugs doesn't particularly care. Moreover, Bugs is shown to be annoyed of others easily while being very patient with Daffy. You see what I'm talking about?

Meanwhile on the other side, yeah I know TLTS is comedy and everything - but - if we suspend the comedy for a second, I would like to imagine that Daffy actually has issues. Now, this has been supported by official/canon media before. Particularly in Back in Action. Daffy is shown in that show acknowledging that he feels people like Bugs a lot, but don't like him.

So, if we suspend the comedy for just a second, and talk about Daffy's issue, for some goddamn reason I LOVE and absolutely LOVE the idea that Daffy has difficulty understanding why Bugs loves him. And he questions it a lot. And gets upset over it. And Bugs can't really explain it, either, other than just saying "I like you for who you are. You may be a pain in the ass sometimes but that doesn't change the fact that I enjoy your company, I enjoy you."

I also like to imagine that their relationship is nowhere near perfect, sort of similarly to TLTS's approach to Bugs & Lola, where they are somewhat aware of the fact that they're a couple but continue to have miscommunications & difficulty. Except with Bugs & Daffy it's a lot louder, with a lot more accusations, but they make up in the end, because they have a mutual understanding that isn't obvious at first sight, but the more you see them interact, the more you realize they understand each other a lot better than it seems on the outside.

And then comes the lovey-dovey stuff.

Oh the lovey-dovey stuff.

I'll be putting them under a read more, it gets intimate.

So, Bugs is clever. He doesn't really exercise his flirting skills with Lola in TLTS, partially because Lola is more interested in him than he is in her. But in the classic Looney Tunes you can see how good he is with flirting with people of all genders and how easily he catches people off-guard with witty flirting. So, I'd like to imagine that doesn't change with TLTS Bugs, either. He just uses this type of flirting on very specific people. And Daffy is definitely, definitely one of them.

Daffy has a big but fragile ego. It's easy to trip him up with the right words & actions. And as I said, Bugs is smart, he knows Daffy very well. He knows exactly what to say to get to Daffy, and he loves using this as an advantage, especially when there's a fight between them.

There is a LOT of Bugs just using Daffy's words right back at him in a flirty way. Lots of shutting Daffy up with a kiss, lots of intimidating leans from Bugs, and a lot of flustered Daffy who doesn't actually know what to do with real affection and love because he barely knows what that is.

Daffy stuttering, having difficulty making eye-contact, being unable to believe what's happening, blushing, and just falling deeper in love every time Bugs flirts with him. And don't get me wrong, Daffy LOVES it, but he doesn't know how to react or just...how to compute. He short-circuits.

And Bugs enjoys that a lot. He loves seeing Daffy all flustered, confused, seeing his ego disappear and only his vulnerable and emotional self being visible, seeing Daffy being unable to stand on his feet flippers because of how nervous he is, refusing to look Bugs in the eyes until Bugs connects their foreheads...it gets Bugs just as flustered as Daffy is. He's just a lot better at controlling his emotions and not wearing his heart on his sleeves during intimate moments.

CW // Suggestive or NSFW

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And of course, this dynamic continues onto bed, as well. Bugs loves showring Daffy with compliments as they fuck, only for Daffy to be completely flustered and unable to compose himself throughout the whole thing. Sometimes, if Daffy has the energy, he will grab Bugs, kiss him and tell him to shut the hell up. Which will usually lead to Bugs giggling and throwing a "fine, sure, we'll play it your way" and finally letting Daffy take the occasional lead.

Their physical intimacy will involve nibbling and hickeys from Bugs' side, tiny little bites hidden all over Daffy's body under his fur. And Bugs thinks Daffy gives the best head. Daffy's beak is sensitive and squishy, and easy to tickle.

NSFW over //

Some random intimate stuff:

Daffy really likes PDA but has difficulty expressing that he'd like to do things like holding hands in public. Luckily, Bugs understands and makes his moves bravely.

As they get older, Daffy humbles up and gets a lot better with his emotions and starts being a helpful househusband - cooking, cleaning, helping with chores and just making their home a nice environment. Bugs really appreciates this. Daffy understands later that he just doesn't like the corporate world, which is why he never liked working jobs.

The wedding is huge because Daffy wants it huge and Bugs actually exercises his popularity and riches for their wedding day. Daffy is genuinely so happy that Bugs feels greatly satisfied about his decisions by the end of the wedding. Also Bugs wears that one tux with a skirt wedding outfit. You know the one. Daffy can't decide between a tux and a wedding dress and flips a coin which lands on wedding dress, LMAO. It's his mom's old dress. Yes it is a Sari, if you thought it was a western wedding gown then the L is on you.

They play a lot of Troye Sivan, BTS, Pink Sweat$ & Kehlani on their wedding. Why? Because I said so, that's why.

...and that's about it!

Yeesh!

GO WATCH THE LOONEYTUNES SHOW. IT'S GAY, I PROMISE YOU.

#baffy #bugs bunny #daffy duck #the looney tunes show #my posts #poddo screams into the void as no one gives a shit #yes that poddo. poddostarline lmao #looney tunes #long post

[zevet-xiv]

LFRP -- Zevet Jharaji (Balmung).

Character Name

The Basics ––– –

Age: Shhh, it’s a secret! (... very much an adult).

Birthday: 27th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon.

Race: Seeker of the Sun, Miqo’te.

Gender: Male (cis).

Sexuality: Homosexual.

Marital Status: Married, polyamorous.

Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Long, silky, beachy waves in the blackest black.

Eyes: Luminous gold.

Height: 4 fulms, 11 ilms. (Tiny.)

Build: Slender but well-toned-- a swimmer’s body!

Distinguishing Features: Natural stripes on his face, leonine ears.

Common Accessories: Covered head-to-toe in gold and silks at virtually all times.

Personal ––– –

Profession: Househusband, technically. Does whatever he feels like.

Hobbies: Cooking, baking, surfing, diving, swimming, sunbathing, knitting, alchemy, cosmetology, napping for six bells a day.

Languages: Common.

Residence: A small cottage in the Mist.

Birthplace: Just outside of Limsa Lominsa.

Patron Deity: Reserved worshiper of Azeyma.

Fears: Death, loss of his loved ones, insects. Every spider that has ever or will ever exist.

Relationships ––– -

Significant Other: Beruht’a Jharaji (husband), Cohno’ra Vukoja (boyfriend).

Children: NEVER.

Parents: Mother is deceased, father’s status is unknown.

Siblings: None.

Other Relatives: None that he knows of.

Pets: Sushi; a small, rotund, fluffy black cat.

Traits ––– -

* Bold your character’s answer.

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted

Disorganized / In Between / Organized

Close Minded / In Between / Open Minded

Calm / In Between / Anxious

Disagreeable / In Between / Agreeable

Cautious / In Between / Reckless

Patient / In Between /  Impatient

Outspoken / In Between / Reserved

Leader / In Between / Follower

Empathetic / In Between / Apathetic

Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic

Traditional / In Between / Modern

Hard-working / In Between / Lazy

Cultured / In Between / Uncultured

Loyal / In Between / Disloyal

Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful

Additional information ––– –

Smoking Habit: Moko, fogweed, morrowmote, likely others. Zevet is pretty much an elegant stoner. Drugs: Responsible user on occasion, but does not fuck with things like somnus.  Alcohol: Drinks sparingly, and never to get drunk.

RP Hooks ––– –

Does your character need an alchemist? Zevet loves to brew all manner of medicines, tinctures, potions, poisons, toxins, and perform the occasional transmutation or elemental imbuement. 

Does your character like to surf? Swim? Dive? Hangout near the beach? Zevet fucking loves the ocean. It is virtually his home-- the boy is basically a water sprite. He can easily be found here, and is always willing to give great swimming and surfing lessons! 

Is your character a hungry motherfucker who needs a Mom Friend™? Let’s find a way to have them meet! Zevet wants to feed and take care of everyone (unless they’re a jackass, then no food for you). He will likely show up at random with baskets of baked goods or treat your character to a nice restaurant dinner!

Is your character a weaver/goldsmith/jeweler/tailor/deal in Fine Luxury Goods? Zevet wants to buy that shit. He thinks he needs it (he doesn’t). He’s a hoarder. Please enable him and help make his husband and boyfriend miserable as he continues to grow his hoard.

Contact & RP Information  ––– –

Tumblr PM (if mutual), Tumblr ask, in-game PM (Zevet Jharaji on Balmung), or ask for my Discord! I prefer in-game RP above all else, as I have trouble keeping up with Discord threads. 

I am really not into super dark RP, as my style tends to lean heavily toward comedic and sort of goofy. I’m looking more for slice of life, friendship, business, minor crime, medical/healer, silly, Bad Stoner Ideas, culinary, or (non-super dark) emotional deep-plot styles of RP. Zevet is very much a chaotic good character and I have no interest in ‘corruption’ plots. Anything relating to rape is also a very hard and immediate no. Don’t even bring it up.

I hope that covers everything! 💖 Header art by @momo-deary-art!

#text post #long post #lfrp post #ffxiv #balmung

[shuttershocky]

For the ask: guda gfs and fsn 3 knights?

Okita Souji character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with:  Oda Nobunaga

friendship them with:  Oda Nobunaga, Hijikata Toshizo

general opinions: Okita-san daishouri~I love how she’s more Assassin than Saber, down to her fighting style of speed and assassination techniques over balanced combat, and her weak constitution.Best costume among the Saberfaces imo

Oda Nobunagacharacter: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS | Actual perfection

ship with:  Okita Souji, sanity, No really get her a therapist before her madness kills us

friendship them with:  Okita Souji, Every gunman in Chaldea from Drake to Billy

general opinions: Oda Nobunaga would actually be pretty powerful lore-wise with her ability to scale opposed to the enemy’s divinity. Sure against the likes of Nameless she’s only an ordinary archer in terms of stats, but without much divine powers, so is he. Meanwhile against divine beings like Heracles and Gilgamesh, her powers grow to match them in order to keep up with her legend of giving a giant, blazing middle finger to the gods.Best girl among the servants and it’s not even close, don’t @ me 

Nobbu?!I love her buddy comedy dynamic with Okita. It’s been FGO’s biggest gift.Artoria Pendragon

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with:  Emiya Shirou / The Nameless Archer

friendship them with:  Matou Sakura, Medusa, Cu Chulainn

general opinions: Boy I don’t give a fuck how many saberfaces there are, none of them will ever diminish her worth as a character and just how important she has been to me. She’s also got the best designed armor.She will get her buffs in FGO someday. I just know it.

I think she’s always heavily underestimated in all the lore power level discussions due to her reliance on sword technique and combat instinct over sheer firepower. King Arthur at her prime is absolutely a monstrous powerhouse, and if Avalon was returned to her she would be this Wolverine-esque killing machine that would absolutely fuck all the bitches.

Mastaa

Every time someone insults her for being flat Excalibur only grows in strength

Kiritsugu could have avoided a lot of trouble in Fate/Zero if he has Saber blast the entire building with Excalibur from outside rather than both of them walking in and getting ambushed by Kirei and Lancelot. Pragmatic my ass.Last Episode consistently makes me cry.I really wish we got to see her in team combat with Archer and Lancer. I have a feeling the Fuyuki knights would be total fucking badasses together. It actually speaks a lot about Cu’s skill that he gets bumrushed by her and attacked with an invisible sword, and somehow gets out without his head cut into 5 billion pieces.Wish we saw more of her creatively using her control over wind magic and Excalibur’s minor blast attacks. The Hero Nobody Knows (except every-fucking-body knows who this motherfucker is by now)

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with:  Artoria Pendragon

friendship them with:  Cu Chulainn. They’re fucking destiny-bonded in canon. Cursed to be partners or rivals throughout all of time and space.

general opinions:

The bone of my sword

Holy fucking shit do you realize how incredibly versatile he is as a servant to be able to copy noble phantasms and fighting techniques with his trace ability? Shit son you’ve got the motherfucking TASKMASTER as a servant except with actual super powers what the fuck

I still find it super funny that a big part of the fandom that acts super sexist sees Archer as the GARest manly man and yet his favorite hobbies are cooking, cleaning, and housekeeping. Shit, the man feeds Chaldea and its massive servant army with his homecooking. 11/10 best househusband

The version of him that appears in Last Episode... Oh god the tears are coming back I’m moving on.

I love how he and Cu act like they’re annoyed whenever they see each other in different timelines but literally as soon as nobody’s looking they’re chatting like best friends. It’s got to be comforting knowing that wherever in time and space you’re pulled to, there’s at least always that one guy you can count on to show up and be your enemy or even ally.

Ok but for real though have you ever considered how fucking badass the literal version of Unlimited Blade Works sounds like? Just read this shit:

His body made of blades, with blood of iron and a heart of glass.

He survived many a battlefield unconquered.

Never once made to back down. Never once understood.

He was ever drunk on victory, stood alone upon a hill of swords.

Thus was his life left bereft of meaning.

And his body built of blades.GodDAMN that is sexy. And like, super tragic. But also sexy.

I hate that FGO kept his name as EMIYA. One of the best things Fate/Extra did was make his name officially “Nameless”, and it’s just so thematically fitting because he is meant to be carrying the torch of every nameless hero throughout history. He never wanted fame or glory, only the knowledge that people were saved. He became the face and strength of the voiceless, and he does not use the name of Emiya Shirou, because this isn’t about him. That’s why his ability is to copy fighting styles and trace weapons; he can be anyone the situation calls for, since the nameless hero could BE anyone who stands up for what’s right.

Cu Chulainn

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with:  Bazett Fraga McRemitz, Being alive

friendship them with:  The Nameless Archer, Everybody who’s not a dick. He’s a pretty cool dude you know?

general opinions:

IT IS A DISGRACE THAT WE HAVE NEVER SEEN HIM FIGHT WITH BAZETT AS HIS MASTER

A god-tier flirt

Possibly one of the single most skilled combatants in the history of the holy grail wars. Saber was one of the best at a technical level, and despite her sword being in-fucking-visible, was on even footing with him, and had the surprise advantage, she fails to chop off his head. Archer also had to engage his Mind’s Eye and begin literally processing sensory information and cross-referencing it with his battle tactics at hyperspeed to keep up since Cu was a fucking blur to him that he couldn’t possibly compete with without his tracing abilities already giving him knowledge of Cu’s combat style. Lancer is crazy fucking good.

PROTECTION FROM ARROWS B MORE LIKE PROTECTION FROM BULLSHIT A++

That little UWOH! sound he makes when you select one of his cards in FGO

Cursed Arm Hassan defeating him was bullshit and you know it, as much as Hassan is also my boy and I think he played that battle really fucking well too.

Final Dead Lancer was actually just a simulation of what it’s like being on an FGO quest that’s way too hard for you and Cu comes to save your ass. God can that boy dodge death.

Gay Bulge

I love that when Shirou lectures him on sexual harassment in FHA, he is confused but he also listens and learns.

#this was a lot #Fate #FGO #Gudaguda girlfriends #The Fuyuki Knights #Anonymous

[everqueen12]

1-10 I want to know all the taz things

aw jeez okay you got it my dude

1. favorite player character: magnus, although merle is really close. but magnus just hits home for me in a lot of ways

2. favorite npc: LUCRETIA (lup angus and avi are close behind, but god i love lucretia)

3. favorite arc: crystal kingdom! there are so many individual funny bits, and i also really like how the plot really gets going in that one (lunar interludes don’t count, i assume, but i also love those)

4. favorite ship: blupjeans, love those nerds

5.favorite villain: fuck, i mean i like john as a villain, taking into account his whole arc and how it all got resolved

6. most quoted line: out loud? “fair enough”, which magnus/travis says a lot, and also “booyah” because lucretia is the best

7. favorite griffin mcelroy composed track: Arms Outstretched! Story and Song is a close close second tho, and the theme for the new Amnesty arc is a fucking banger

8. a moment that made you lose your shit: “sturdy, denim… and BLUE”

9. a moment that made you cry: pretty much all of episode 66, but also johann’s last speech and the subsequent lines from Jr, the whole “you’re going to have to fight and.. you’re gonna win!” and then “darkness surrounds you, but be not afraid” there’s something really powerful there

10. dream casting for TAZ the HBO original series: (the actual literal mcelroys lmao) but uhhhhh i’ll just do the IPRE? be warned tho i have a really hard time picturing real people for podcast characters so this involved a lot of staring into space trying to picture it and then shrugging and googling until i found ones that looked right enough

Magnus: Kai Greene i think would be great with the mix of tank and goofball

Merle: fuckin danny devito maybe lmao (there’s one actor that i just can’t remember so i’m sticking with danny devito for now)

Taako: John Cho or Alfred Enoch, not sure which tbh

Lup: there are so many amazing options for Lup, although I really like Arden Cho or Zendaya, but tbh I’m not actually familiar with a lot of transgender actresses?

Barry: god i don’t even know the nerdiest middle aged househusband looking motherfucker you can find

Lucretia: Gugu Mbatha-Raw is pretty good for her, but i have a really hard time picturing lucretia in my head as a RL person instead of how she’s drawn in art from the fandom. tru of pretty much all these characters, but especially for her

Davenport: i kinda like Don Cheadle for dav except i can’t picture his goofy-ass voice coming out of don cheadle’s face so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#answering this ask took me.... a lot longer than i would like to admit #i mean most of it was looking shit up for the last one but #the adventure zone #taz #taz balance #ask memes #i'm not tagging all the characters #thanks for asking my dude #anon #asks #magnus is a really important character to me in a lot of ways #there are individual moments with the other PCs that i love like merle's choose joy speech #but he's just very solidly good and protective in a way that i love and relate to a lot #god i love lucretia #just all the time every single fucking day i love lucretia #re the music i feel like griffin really came into his own around eleventh hour or so #i fucking love the reunion tour/stolen century/finale music okay ESPECIALLY arms outstretched #a really defining moment for the podcast tbh #also the 'darkness surrounds you but be not afraid' is probably gonna be a tattoo for me at some point #uhhhh yeah this turned into a tag novel #my posts

[thedesperatehousehusband]

The Bitch is Back

Friends, Family, Loved Ones, Casual Acquaintances…….The Desperate Househusband is back after a very long, unexpected and completely surreal hiatus.

I have not blogged since the Oscars. That was my last post. The end of February. As luck would have it and completely miraculously, the week after the Oscars we went to Mexico for a wedding. An absolutely amazing wedding where our friends, Alicia and Juan Carlos, tied the knot in a gorgeous ceremony and unbelievable reception. We traveled with our friends, Christine and Scott. And we had a ball with them. It was incredible and, in retrospect, one of the last specks of normalcy of 2020. By the time we left for Mexico, the Rona was a thing. But still just a blip on the radar.

We arrived back from Mexico on March 2nd and then I immediately went to Boston for work, which turned out to be the burgeoning epicenter of the Rona in ‘Merica. A bunch of people at a BioGen meeting tested positive and I’m confident I was on a plane with someone who had the Rona. I came back from Boston on the 5th and went to the office on the 6th.

On March 7th, Marty came to visit and we went to the Cabaret to see Jessica Vosk. Holy shitballs, was that incredible. And, again, in retrospect, really fucking special for about 10,000,000 reasons. On the evening of March 8th, we started to receive frantic communications from tons of co-workers and then official communications from our CEO. And just like that, it all ended. On March 9th, we started working from home and ain’t been back to the office since.

And just like that, I really fell off the blogging train. Honestly, I didn’t have much to say. Or at least that’s how I felt. I just didn’t have it in me. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, was too much. For the first few weeks, I was really fragile. I still have moments of extreme fragility even today. It comes in waves. It can come in the same day. I may wake up feeling great and then for no reason at all sometime in the afternoon I am completely over it and just do not give a shit. I’ve accepted this as normal. 

The Rona is motherfucker. That much I know to be true. I hate everything about the Rona. I hate everything that has been politicized about the Rona. Why, just, why? I simply do not understand it. Selfishly, I hate all the Rona has taken away from me. From Juan. From us. The shit we were supposed in 2020 was fucking epic. Like, y’all, we was going to get our happy asses over to Tokyo and attend the Olympics. Nope. Not in 2020 because the Rona has other plans for all the motherfuckers on this here planet. At least with the Olympics, everything just shifted so we’ll just go next year. Hopefully. How do you even look forward to something at this point? It’s very difficult to comprehend.

So now, we work from home. We attempt to enjoy some level of social life with outdoor dining, seeing a friend or two, a road trip to CHQ, a road trip to Grand Rapids. It’s fine. We’ve had fun. We’ve consumed ALLLLLL the alcohol. Juan has become quite the mixologist and we have about every random bottle of booze that exists. Like absinthe, benedictine, St. Germain and cocchi americano. Which sort of sounds like hoochie coochie. Which makes me think of Charo. I wonder how she is riding out the Rona?

Working from home is not my thing. I don’t like it. I have never liked. I will be so bold as to say I hate it. It just isn’t for me. I’m less productive. I’m less focused. I know I’m not the only one but this is about me, dammit. Also, everything takes sooooooooo.muuuuuch.loooooonger. It’s very difficult to be efficient. I will say, on a positive note, that I have fallen in love with Teams. I adore that Microsoft gift from the gods. Early on, I was on a call at work and someone unironically said that “We’re moving at the speed of COVID.” I puked. Literally projectile barf vomit spewing from my mouth like The Exorcist. I couldn’t take it. What does that even mean? Who says these things? Am I supposed to take nonsense like that seriously? Where do people come up with this shit? I literally can’t even with people sometimes. So now our joke at home is that we’re moving at the speed of Rona. Which means whatever the fuck we want it to mean.

Life is very different than it was in February. But we are surviving and trying to live our best lives regardless of the circumstances. We can’t have it any other way. We deserve nice things even if nice things are defined differently.

#wearesummer is in full effect. It’s a state of mind, as you will know. Now more than ever and in these unprecedented times, it is very much in full effect. To be clear, I hate, detest and loathe everything about the first phrase of the previous sentence. Anyone who says “now more than ever” in a non-ironic way deserves to be thrown to the wolves. Anyone who utters or writes “unprecedented times” in a non-ironic way should be immediately sent to the hoosegow. It’s cheap. It’s pandering. Don’t say that shit.

But you know what you can say? #ronacansuckit. Because it can.