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transmascissues · 2 months

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it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it #some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively #but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much #maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk #but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t #ask answered #testosterone #hrt #ftm hrt #hair loss #trans men #transmascs

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sea-buns · 27 days

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hey to a gorgug liker what do you think about his nightmare section from sophomore year? cause I feel like the horror there is less “ah my grandparents were racist” and more “fuck am I being a stereotype? are the people who hate me right about me?” cause wrt to his having to modulate between barbarian and artificer in fhjy it’s like. idk

oh boy do I have thoughts

Tbh, I had zero recollection of the racism stuff until reading this. It was just SO MINOR. His trial in the forest felt really lackluster to me. I feel like everyone else's really dug into an issue at the core of their character and his felt more like "everyone is getting a trial, what do we do for gorgug?" And idk if that was just a bad delivery/call on Brennan's part or if it could have been helped by Zac engaging more in it but it just. Didn't feel like anything. It was a lot more about the dice than the horror of the claustrophobia and the bugs and you've never fit in anywhere you live to make yourself smaller wherever you go you're just the loser who hits hard. Like yeah I guess there was an overarching theme of Gorgug gaining confidence in himself but it was done very poorly imo.

And I think his trial in the forest was wrong for putting such an emphasis on his intelligence. I think that would have been much better suited in fy, back when he was still being heavily bullied, but beyond that it felt like a quick and easy thing for them to grab. Yes, he had insecurities about his intelligence with all the complications with Zelda. But, to me, the focus of fhsy was his HEART. It put a spotlight on how his social circle has grown, and his bully is his friend now, and he's not alone anymore. His interactions with Ayda, the friendship book, trying to help Fabian, I believe in you spring break, it's Gorgug keep going. I made a post earlier in the season (including a great addition by another user) that I think articulates that emphasis on his emotional intelligence very well.

Fhjy HOWEVER. I think it's doing everything that sy failed at. It's giving him space to have an inner conflict. It's addressing lots of little issues and conflicts he's had over the campaign and combining them into one coherent piece. Like, guy was in a relationship pretty much all of fy, and then dealt with the fallout in sy, but I don't think we've EVER seen as much quality relationship development with Gorgug as we have in jy. He and Fig spent an entire summer together trapped in a tour bus and no season has indicated that bond and friendship more than this one. He and Riz have found something to bond over, meanwhile in previous seasons there was pretty much zero one-on-one personal interaction between them. Fabian expressed sadness over Gorgug leaving the Owlbears, because it was the only thing they had that was just for them to hang out and be friends.

Just with that, we're already doing leagues more with Gorgug's character than we ever have. And I haven't even STARTED on his barbificier journey, oh dear god lmao.

Gonna preface this bit with a post I made before the season even started. It was about Zac's steady improvement in his performances with every PC, and how I was predicting that it was gonna culminate into a Gorgug that does him the justice he deserves. It was initially supposed to be a criticism, but I got a little lost in the sauce of loving my boy lol. Still very relevant to the topic of this ask!

God, where do I START?? Addressing his relationship with rage? I'll be honest, I didn't think that would ever be used as a character arc. And I'm not even sure why I've felt that way. I just didn't think... I didn't think about how he might've had a dislike for his own rage. Like, the WAY he rages isn't bad by any means, but I don't think it ever crossed my mind how actually harmful his lessons to sing to combat rage were. No, I did not like the way Porter went about teaching him (a bit too unsupportive of his capabilities and reminiscent of shitty teachers for my liking). But his point about EMBRACING anger; that rage is not bad and does not— should not— need to be stifled. THAAAAT. That opened up such an interesting dialogue for Gorgug.

I do appreciate the beginnings of Gorgug's interest in artificing in fhsy. I think the crumbs of it back then did a great job of leading into his larger commitment to multiclassing. And I think what he's been doing with it this season is exactly what was lacking in his section of the nightmare forest. His trial was a puzzle, based entirely on die rolls, where his solution after failing even when he's assisted by the enemy is to essentially give up. I understand that facing their fears was the whole point of the trials, but his section came off as incredibly anticlimactic and unfulfilling. Just the fact that it was a trial based on stat numbers more than the development of the character itself.

Where junior year succeeds in actually showcasing his intelligence and the evolution of the worth he holds in himself is with the hands-on approach it takes. Yes, the academic rolls are still dice and stats, but there's a physical manifestation that wasn't there before. Gorgug is smart when it comes to getting his hands dirty. It is in the practical applications of his skills that his brand of intelligence shines the most.

And while, once again, I did not LIKE Porter's heavy resistance to multiclassing....I have to admit that I don't think Gorgug would have had such a boost in confidence without that struggle. Even if my boy had trouble expressing it to Porter verbally, HE STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF. Instead of simply rolling over and agreeing that he wasn't built for a technical class and it was stupid to try– he was DEFIANT.

The kid who said "I'm a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug." took on FOUR CLASSES. Three school years worth of artificer simultaneously. AND stayed with the Owlbears. AND went along on party missions to help Kristen's candidacy. AND was always on deck to help the party with the overarching plotline.

AND HE ACED IT!!! THE FIRST BARBIFICER THAT THE AGUEFORT ADVENTURING ACADEMY HAS EVER SEEN!!!!! He is paving the way for every unprecedented multiclass that follows.

Just in comparison to who he was in the previous season, the amount of drive and self-worth he's gained is astounding. In my eyes, it's done more than enough to makeup for the way his development fell flat in sophomore year.

i hope this fulfilled the ask in the way you were hoping! i told you i'd get carried away lmao. writing a bunch about any of zac's characters is always such a joy. gorgug had always been my favorite of the bad kids but i always found myself wishing he went deeper, y'know? and now it's real. my precious anxious boy has been handled so well. and watching zac's growth as a performer has been such a blast.

thanks for the ask! :D

#hope i dont talk in circles too many times #im not even gonna think about how long i spent lol #ya hit a certain point where youre like 'does that feel exactly right?' and then u go fuck it we aint perfect #ive done that a lot with just any writing thing in my life especially in school #but i feel like i followed through a lot better with this than i have with a loooong essay/analysis/post in awhile #so that feels good. certainly helps when its a thing you really love lol #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #fhjy #fantasy high #fh #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #character analysis #asks #anon ask

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americankimchi · 1 month

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i am at any given point this 🤏 close to waxing poetic about the jedi code

#personal #i think about their philosophies and start chewing on walls <3 #where was this energy in college i ask of you #me when being forced to contemplate the themes and motifs of extremely lauded literary classics: eugh #me when nobody is asking me to talk about fictional space samurai wizards and their code of ethics/conduct/religion that was never #actually really codified in the movies they come from and most of the information we have on them comes from ancillary content that was #never given the Canon Stamp Of Approval but have been so widely accepted by the audience/writers of that ancillary content that they might #as well be: IN THIS ESSAY I WILL—

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trash-can-sam · 11 days

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What happens when your coworker kills your other coworker but both of you are in a relationship (kind of) with the same ethereal woman who had an admiration for said dead coworker.

+bonus Evandrey because it’s funny to me (I’m sorry Eva.)

#pathologic #pathologic 2 #andrey stamatin #yulia lyuricheva #eva yan #evandrey #yulieva #evaandrey #Eva yahn #Andrei Stamatin #see I think that Eva is very okay with Eva being how she is- promiscuous and spreading her love (Maybe a little jealous but more rooted in #self loathing and insecurities)#and she’s like look I’m okay with this whole open relationship (technically we aren’t in a relationship even though I really want to be)#thing BUT why HIM. I have to work with him and he’s by far the worst man I’ve ever worked with (besides maybe his brother because at least #Andrey actually talks but really they’re a package deal anyways) I need to have meetings with him often and it’s horrendous every time #like spread your love it’s noble really.#I wouldn’t expect anything else from you #but maybe give him less he’s annoying as hell #I also think that she’d figure out pretty quickly that Andrey and Peter killed Farkhad #just bcuz like. yk she’s there. she’s seen the already shaky relationship crumble beyond repair. she’s seen them argue in meetings.#she knows the stamatwins are not above murder. especially for art. and she��s clever.#And andrey knows that so he doesn’t try to hide it. she doesn’t have recourse anyways-#the kains (who I think helped cover up the murder) employ her too #and andrey respects her to a degree- he assumes she’ll see reason.#and honesty. Yulia might be upset that Andrey killed one of the only other architects but also she does not miss him that much.#she’s like I don’t agree with this whole murder thing but you are kind of right he had to go he was getting on my nerves #the meetings will be 10x more tolerable now that the twins can’t argue with him about things that aren’t even real #it’s awful but it did drive Eva further into my arms so necessary evils.#my art #sorry for the essay in the tags.

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averlym · 8 months

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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done #there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself #maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth #ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi #beatrix valeria campbell #hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3 #the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like #there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name #because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and #fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help #let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away #from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera #like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but #that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea #the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same #as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow #as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh #speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me #and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind #of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk #fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing #i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts #fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front #paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels #more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that #front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry #oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers #and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)

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beeduoo · 10 days

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originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅#i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹#had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭#ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

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james-stark-the-writer · 4 months

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feel like pure shit, just want her back

#james talks #riverdale #miss the whole crew really but Betty especially bc Lili was so magnificent #god as perfect as the finale was (and it really was one of the greatest finales ever) i wish we had gotten another season #they had as good a run as a show on that network could hope for but there are few shows on there that eclipsed the network like Riverdale #like the list includes like. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Gossip Girl. and ig The Vampire Diaries. and that's it.#(that list is for shows almost exclusively produced by the CW. CXG DID have other producing companies but it was largely the CW).#no show will ever quite be like Riverdale ever again and no show will ever reach the heights it did.#especially not on their shoestring CW budget.#like honestly i just need more Riverdale in my life.#like RAS and the writing team found such a great way to turn their weaknesses into strengths.#as an article on the show once said [paraphrased]: it was a great show that was really good at pretending to be bad.#even now nobody gets the show like i do.#everyone thinks it's some silly little show about crazy shit with crazy plotlines and pretty lighting and aesthetics but no substance—#when in reality it's an incredible pulpy anti-fascist text questioning the role of authority using those aesthetics for a larger purpose #but i'll save the real analysis for whenever i get around to actually making the Riverdale video essay i need in my life #unless Quinton Reviews or SuperEyepatchWolf beat me to it first. they're the only people who i think will actually understand the show.#like SuperEyepatchWolf's video on the show is already pretty fun even if it's a little dismissive of the substance of the show—#(tbf to him it only covered up until the S05 mid-season finale and S06 hadn't released yet)#but like he at least feels like he gets the spirit of the show. especially with the wrestling comparison.#and i hope i don't need to explain why Quinton would get it.#anyway. i need the Riverdale crew back.

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summertimemusician · 7 months

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Linktober Shadow Day 6

Shadow Beast

The Twilight Princess fan in me really came out on this one huh? I blame the sleep deprivation. We never quite addressed the effects of the Twili Magic on Twilight and how it's only sheer force of will and the fact he's so darn kind, Midna's influence and Time teaching him the Song of Healing first being the main factor in making sure he doesn't fall huh? Even more so than the One Cutscene. We also need to talk more about the fact we technically kill Midna's people and how by the end of it all Twi is so changed by the Twilight Realm who's it's own can of worms that, much like Time he can't quite go home as himself me thinks, as a treat to myself

Mostly Twilight x Reader, this goes out to all of the folks who never quite recovered from Twilight Princess and the fact we never got that sequel (I mean it gave us BOTW and TOTK and Wild, but at what cost?), but can be read as Link x Reader either on the platonic or romantic.

Don't think there's any warning this time but might edit later if needed.

Actually yeah there is one warning

TW:

References to body horror typical to Twilight Princess, though I recommend not reading it I'd you're squeamish period.

Even after so long, you and Twilight could still remember the beauty and solemnity of the Twilight Realm, with it’s zircon skies with clouds of trapped fire and rains of viper obsidian.

The silence of the infection upon the realm of light broken only by the echoes of the howling elegy of the Twili and Interlopers who came before creeping over the land like rot and wither over flowers, the lament of the lost spirits of the people and animals of Hyrule falling over your spirit like a shroud, a shared hymm from two worlds reality had been twisted, only both of it’s princess, one filled the luster of empyreal sorrow in her mind and one with the scorch abyssal fury in her heart knowing to see the reflective tragedy befallen to their people. With Link as the one who restored the memory of what once was in both worlds as divinity and calamity sang in his bones and you a witness to the restoration of harmony to the discordant symphony, the two different songs of light and shadow refusing to let go of either of you in an eternal duet.

(Once touched by magic, it shall never leave the one if holds onto Twilight may have been the one with the Beast in his soul, with the howl of a wolf, the bite of shades in his veins and the lament of innocents taking precedence over anything purely because he learned how to silence the whispers of the one’s who made a grab for heaven’s throat and we’re pushed in the cracks of reality for their prideful vánitas even as he could taste it in the back of his tongue, twining around his ribs and overgrowing into his shattered mirror heart like vines, flowering with the divinity and eternal nature of the Hero’s Spirit, already having the hunt of the Fierce Deity in it’s veins and the remains of cursed divinity welcoming the new aspect merrily so he could bear it. The song of the innocent wrongly punished among the sinners rang into your mind, scratched at your skin and dug it’s claws around your throat, chocking you with sorrow and regret, more willing to leave gouges than to let go of someone’s who’s looked into the reverse side of the sacred realm and wept with grief for it’s people and the curse of it’s beauty.

It would never leave you, Link or Zelda, who learned who love the darkness the way Midna did, madness and unsightly delight and all.)

While the people of Hyrule merely became trapped as observers at best, if they were lucky, Midna’s raging grief and resentment quickly became obvious, once she revealed that rotten Zant had done to her and her people, twisted into a new form, distorted in body and trapped in mind like the animals and beasts of Hyrule, their pain driving them in becoming feral attack hounds for the usurper, their howling screams as much sorrow, wailing in an attempt to let their agonized, tortured souls to escape from it’s mouth, a futile attempt to flee from the strain of reality forgetting their true form in favor of Zant’s twisted design, of being used as sentient canvases for cruelty and ruthlessness, of their will being stepped over in favor of corrupting recreation.

Of how it only didn’t quaff down at Midna’s mind because of the nature of her ephemerality, fully beloved by the Realm of Darkness, of how she loathed him for it and wouldn’t wish her fate of that of her people’s on any living or dead soul, once she came to love the Realm of Light through Zelda’s sacrifice.

Which was why, when you saw three of the victims of the telltale twisting from darkness utilized with the intent to drive one insane, a familiar looking plate of stone engraved on the remains of ashes from their identity, the curling of distorted, solid darkness making crooked mishapen manes, bent out of shape from their too long torso and long, long arms adorned with twitching, deformed claws, you feel very justified in way your blood froze, holding onto Wild’s arms and yanking with all you had so his shot will miss, his yelp of surprise swallowed by the bone cracking, blood curdling screech from one of the beasts as a Skyward Strike grazed it’s petrified flesh.

You feel something warm drip down your ears, taste the promise of violence and the cry of lost souls on the back of your tongue and swallow it down as the memory of the Twilight Realm attempted to bite and crack your ribcage to quaff down your heart, to devour it bones and all, calling out in desperation, “Don’t! That’s a person!”

Sky freezes, as still as a statue, Legend curses the heavens crimson in a way you are so glad Wind isn’t around to hear as he retreats Twilight snarls, the wolf in him revolted and disgusted, you wonder if the Twilight is singing in his mind too as he restrains himself from reaching for the crystal as nails just a tad too sharp invite droplets of blood to one hand, grimm as a graveyard “We need to get them together anyway, felling just one won’t be enough.”

You grimace, releasing Wild, keeping your eye on the Shadow Beasts and another on your group, pointedly not mentioning the twitch in Four, amethyst clouding his gaze and the prism of his eyes turning gray with memories you and Twilight both knew all too well, of the grimace in Time’s otherwise stony countenance, you’d wished to avoid bloodshed of whoever was turned against their will, but you and Twilight both knew that might not be possible, death, unfortunately, might be the greatest mercy you can grant these poor souls.

(The Twilight is harmonizing in your ears, jeering, you feel the Interlopers insanity and the Twili’s lament on your teeth. As lovely as it could be cruel, the merry feeling upon meeting, the sorrow at a parting.

If you ever see the Shadow, you might just try indulging the echo by offering it’s blood as tribute. You'd make it hurt. The fact it learned the spell used to deform reality in such a way was cruel and vile.)

“Legend, how is your magic?” shoots Warriors, analyzing, calculating, it snaps the purple back into Four’s gaze, brings his mind back to focus as he reaches into his inventory for his Moon Pearl, Twilight is circling the beasts with single minded purpose, herding them together and prowling as he would as a wolf, Wild thankfully listened to your warning and had switched from the more destructive Flame and Lightning Arrows to ice ones. It doesn’t contain them for long but it gives a few precious seconds to strategize.

Legend catches on, switching to the Ice Rod on one hand and grasping his own Moon Pearl with the other, Sky has another Skyward Strike ready, but doesn’t release it, you switch from your sword to accepting a Magic Rod tossed at you from Wild, “Good enough.”

You breath in shakily, the symphony of the Twilight Realm has quieted, more lament than anthem as it’s Hero steps back, returning to your side, he nods grimly, “... Then, let’s end this quickly.”

You know your will boys will do their best to heal them, and failing that, you hope that they’ll hear the requiem of the Twili rather than the lament once they’re at peace, that they'll find some form of threnody.

It is a horrible thing, to be forced to die as a beast.

#linked universe x reader #linked universe twilight x reader #We really need to talk more about how the Twilight Realm sticks with Twilight and how it's magic never really leaves him #Heck I also want to know what it was like learning to turn into a wolf on his own. I bet that it was quite the process #friendly reminder that Time Twilight Midna and her people can all shake hands over identity and technical body horror #And how the Twilight Realm also likely has it's form of sentience due to the duality of both people like the Interlopers and the Twili #Something something how the difference between light magic dark magic is more about how willing much each reality changes you #and how Twilight more than anything and anyone who was with him on his journey would embody that fine line #Also the conflict between not wanting to kill the people that remind you of your old friend and the echoes all you have left of her realm #and knowing that their fate is so darn awful that death is a mercy #The reason Reader sees the Twilight as they do is because the dark magic latched onto them via association and Twilight's fondness #Maybe I'll elaborate on that later idk lol #Also the reason Dark Link knows the curse Zant used is both because of his nature and a reference to the TP Manga if you know you know #Hero's Shade mauls Zant in it. It's arguably the best thing in any manga I am begging any people who like Twilight and TP to go read it #summer writes linktober shadow 2023 #summer writes #I could go on an entire essay about the relationship between the Realm of Darkness in each game and the Realm of Light and magic in loz #but I doubt anyone would want to hear about it lol

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transmascissues · 1 month

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i could honestly write a whole essay on how the internet’s obsession with romanticizing ‘girl dads’ while simultaneously making fun of ‘boy moms’ and gender reveal parties is directly related to a pervasive lack of care for trans men&mascs even among supposedly pro-trans people.

#if people cared about young transmascs at all #they would not be encouraging dads to make their whole identity as a parent based around their kid being a girl #because if they cared about us they would realize that some of those kids might not be girls #and that those kids will absolutely feel how their parent looks at them differently when they don’t fit that father-daughter image anymore #it’s also very much based in misogyny. that would be part of the essay too #we’re very comfortable making fun of moms and don’t care how the parenting we idealize might hurt daughters #tbh we need to start talking about benevolent sexism again #bc some of y’all really seem to think that as long as the surface content is positive it can’t possibly be harmful #and that’s simply not how any of this works and i thought we already knew that #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

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bleue-flora · 3 months

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...Q running in an election, which he was completely allowed to do, during which he played 100% by Wilbur's rules and won fairly according to said rules, means that getting abused by his boss was his own fault?

Yeah your views are definitely scuffed. You don't have to sympathize with a character you don't like but holy shit

Perhaps fault isn’t the right word. Just to clarify, I didn’t mean it was his fault for being abused, not saying anyone deserves that. So, I didn’t mean like he asked for it or like it is karma or comeuppance for running in the election. And by no means am I saying he was wrong to do so in the first place and whether or not he followed c!Wilbur’s rules is irrelevant. So perhaps comparing that with exile is unfair to c!Quackity, after all c!Tommy did provoke Dream and there’s not necessarily evidence for c!Quackity provoking c!Schlatt into that behavior. But at the end of the day, it is a result of his own actions. It is a consequence of his own actions whether or not it was intended or deserved. He chose to side with c!Schlatt so he could win even though it’s not like c!Schlatt was necessarily hiding his true colors, and he chose to stay. Did he know he was going to be abused, did he chose to be abused, did he deserve being abused. No. Of course not. But it happened because of the choices he made and he could’ve always made different choices to escape that. Actions just have consequences whether good or bad, you pay them or someone else does, whether intentional or not. - I forget an umbrella and I get wet and I get the floor wet and then someone slips on the wet floor and falls - I made a choice or perhaps a series of choices whether to put my umbrella by the door or make sure to dry my shoes off… etc. did I know that was going to happen? Did I intend for that? Did I or the person who fell deserve that? No, I made choices and those were the consequences that happened as a result so one could say it is my fault even if it’s not only my fault and even if it’s not like I intentionally meant for that to happen.

So obviously c!Quackity didn’t deserve to be abused, nor choose it, nor mean for it to happen, nor make it happen, nor is his hurt invalid. But c!Schlatt had a bad reputation to start off with, I mean one of the first things he does is betray c!Wilbur and c!Tommy in the first place. So all I’m saying is c!Quackity chose to ally himself with the devil and the devil lived up to his name.

(And I know I said you can call me cold, but that is kinda accusatory. c!Quackity isn’t a real person, these do not reflect my view irl, this is my view on a sadistic, manipulative, fictional character who lives in a world where people stab, kill, insult, harass for a fun afternoon.)

#obviously schlatt isn’t the actual devil that just figuratively ;)#anyways… I don’t think it’s fair to judge me so harshly #no one bashes people for not sympathizing understanding or liking Loki Dark Vadar Lex Lurther Wilson Fisk ….#everyone has a tragic backstory but it doesn’t give you a pass to by bad nor even a reason #and I don’t see that abuse as being an explanation nor really a turning point of his character since it didn’t really change him #he was already on a dark path sure schlatt may have further his path but he was already on it.#….anyways I think when it comes to talking about Q and now everyone’s talking about Tommy we are running in circles so I almost didn’t #respond at all… but I felt like it was important to defend myself….#dsmp #dream smp #c!quackity #c!schlatt #dsmp analysis #did someone order an essay?#because I read a psychology paper last night and I have some interesting things to share :)…..#dsmp quackity #cquackity #hello there

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wavesoutbeingtossed · 1 month

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Remember back in the fall during the SNL episode when they did the Sportscenter skit about Taylor and Travis and had the line about Joever where they were basically like “leave Joe alone, it was a deeply meaningful and special relationship” and I was like “see they’re all grownups and moving on, no need to rehash this anymore” and now we’re a fortnight (ha) away from an album likely about to blow the lid off what kind of shit was really happening 🥴

You ever think Taylor heard the skit that night and was like “ew no” lol I’M KIDDING but also not

#I was: wrong lol #but to be fair #Taylor went from being big mad to big sad to big girl pants last spring and summer #so it seemed like we were just putting that chapter behind us and I was like ‘see let’s just let the guy fade into fandom memory’#(like the others)#and then last fall she revved up into high gear and went full throttle into pissed and opened our third eye lmao #remember how back then i was like ‘ok do we really have to talk about this guy publicly again’#and now I’ve written fucking essays about their breakup lmao #see I have to go back to snarking because i spent the whole day thinking and writing about the sadness in her songs lol

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no-light-left-on · 10 days

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thinking still about how the Heart calls the Whalers 'puppets' and the amount of mystery there is around them, when playing as Corvo and perceiving them through the Heart, in comparison to how they are in reality.

we see them talk to each other in a manner any people would. they consider insubordination, they talk badly of Daud behind his back, we have Billie betray him. there are some that are loyal, yes, be it because they believe in Daud or because they see gain in this path, but by no means are they a monolyth.

however, we do hear from the Heart about a 'fog that surrounds them and hides their secrets' and it is even confirmed, by Billie (and also Galia in the books) that leaving Daud made them 'think clearly for the first time in years'

I've seen a couple theories and I do want to dive into each, to an extent.

there's the suggestion of the Heart talking badly of them, calling them mindless drones that only kill out of hatred and hurt. which, valid. the Heart also says certain things about Daud, 'why did you bring me here? do you expect me to forgive him?', so it's not unlikely that their attitude towards human lives and their willingness to kill for Daud is repulsive enough that the Heart does not see past it

another option is that the mindless puppets is more of a metaphor and is meant to talk about how the Whalers are, in a sense, a cult. which would be incredibly interesting to explore if we had more information on how the Whalers function. now I do want to point out that by cult I do not mean it in a Secluded Religious Organization but as a sociological thing. a literal cult if you will, with a leader that charms their followers, the seclusion and all the unhealthy attitudes of losing oneself to the group. and, that does check out - the loss of individuality, they are as one, following someone's orders without hesitation, someone they would die for. there are a lot of unsavory implications here (if you know how cults work, you probably had some cross your mind already), but arguably Daud is not charming enough to be a proper cult leader. the appeal is the magic, and his excellent skills as an assassin and a leader. maybe it's because of the time we see the Whalers at, right before a collapse, but Daud is regularly doubted and we see a lot of insubordination. the Whalers are not necessarily loyal to him because of who he is as a person. they want the power, they want the influence, maybe the protection, and the things keeping them from disobeying are fear, rather than loyalty.

the third thought or theory is, then, that many of these symptoms can be explained by the influence of the Void. we know the Void affects people, both physically as we see with Delilah's Witches or the Eyeless, as it influences them mentally, if the high numbers of people going mad because of their worship are something to go by. if, then, the Whalers are bound to the Void through Daud, it only makes sense that they would be influenced by this link to something that messes with people's brains. Galia saying she feels better after her Arcane Bond faded could easily mean that the influence the Void had on her has faded, and the creeping madness of it has subsided significantly.

all of these most likely come into play. one of the Heart's lines in dh2, if we point at a Witch, is reciting some of the recipes the Witches chant before quickly apologising. we do learn significantly more about them than we do about the Whalers, of course, possibly because Jessamine has more ill will towards the Whalers than to the Witches. still we see the Void affect the Heart. there is also a notion that the Witches are 'not quite human' due to their Arcane bond.

there's no real conclusion. it's just interesting

#li.txt #dh #dishonored #dishonored whalers #I cant stop thinking about this #and since Ive been pointed to 'whalers as a proper cult' Ive been thinking about it #I have a soft spot for cults as a phenomenon i think its very interesting how they function and the things that drive them to function #its really hard to explainwhat i mean without going into proper details on this #and like i dont think theres enough info about how the whalers functioned during their golden days?#to be truly able to tell how things were?#like if it was just a regular organization or if it was Proper Cult with all the unsavory practices that keep people in there #definitely against the 'mindless puppets' bs theyre still v much people #but i wonder like. how much did the arcane bond affect them #we know that it makes them arrogant #and they were already not too kind people before joining daud #i mean who would join the most famous assassin in dunwall without being into murder?#(i think this characterization suffers also because tehres just way less lines about characters in dh than in dh2)#anyways daud is not charismatic enough to be a proper cult leader and in this essay I will---#i did in fact not write about it at all lol but if people have questions I want to answer them #i really want to talk about the whalers actually #ngl should just sleep on this and post it later but nah yolo

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heliianth · 2 months

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is it still cool to be a netflix atla hater bc i want to point out how weird it is that they seemed to try making ozai a more "interesting" character by making him more sympathetic and how much it bothers me. like. why is zukos agni kai the scene where we try to shift focus onto ozai's emotions. why are we lingering on his face looking sad while he's horrifically mutilating his 13 year old son like someone is forcing him to do it

#like?? thats not to say anything about the way it buys into ''zuko and azula were pitted against each other'' misunderstandings of the text #i also wanted to mention how the la's focus on what the fire nation is doing and constantly cutting to it especially while refusing to-#-develop aang sokka and katara is really strange #but if i did that i would have to talk abt how the writers seem to be convinced that overt violence means something is mature #and if we did that i could just link a video essay. we would be here forever #heliichats

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sb25p · 1 year

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Warning: THE LAST OF US SPOILERS: EPISODE 5!!! IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED EP 5, PLEASE SCROLL PAST!!!!!

Also this an essay!! 🥴 tbh I write these more for myself than anything else…my Tumblr is my mf journal.

I normally don’t like to write posts that involve spoilers for current series/movies etc but TLOU episode 5 affected me in such a powerful way, I feel like I just need to vent it for a min.

Can we talk about the final scene? How hopeful Ellie is when she wakes up only to find out Sam has unfortunately become infected. Sam then attacking Ellie for Joel and Henry to realise what’s happening and Henry to raise the gun to Joel.

The actor, Lamar Johnson, absolutely killed that role (no pun intended…too soon?)

Like we see his face go from confused to protective yet terrified, shocked, panicked, regretful, devastated, remorseful, angry and numb.

I could go on and on about the diversity of emotions that Lamar portrayed in that moment to capture the reaction of Henry losing Sam. The one person he loves more than anything and has sacrificed everything for only to lose at what he believes to be his own hands but as we know is due to being infected.

It was never Henry’s fault. Henry didn’t kill Sam. Sam was already dead. The infection took him. Henry actually saved Ellie from being harmed by Sam. He’s still a hero regardless of what he’s done. He continued to protect others but without Sam, what is his purpose? Sam to Henry is purpose. He always has been. Now that Sam is gone, Henry doesn’t feel any purpose and ultimately that causes him to take his own life without any hesitation.

Then we have the other parallel of Pedro Pascal in that situation playing the role of Joel Miller.

We see Joel (not for the first time) jumping in ultimately to protect Ellie. He’s terrified. He’s seeing her at risk and scared and she’s calling out to him in that moment for help.

Joel talks earlier to Henry about being relied on. He says that it’s easier for kids because no one is relying on them but that’s not really true is it? Because although Sam relied on Henry for protection, Henry relied on Sam for purpose. He loved him. He lived for him because he had Sam by his side.

What really got me in that moment after Henry shoots Sam, is Joel. The way his face turns into a realisation. An understanding.

It doesn’t happen right away.

I feel if you watch Joel’s face just after Sam dies, he’s asking for the gun because he’s afraid Henry will turn on the both of them, pin a blame on them maybe that Sam got infected because of them but when Henry says “what did I do?” You can see that Joel’s face falls. He goes from appearing assertive and protective of Ellie to becoming understanding and gentle towards Henry.

I think that is because Joel recognises that feeling all too well. It’s not hard to think that Joel would have had a time after Sarah’s death where he must have thought that life wasn’t worth living anymore. That his purpose in life has been ripped from him so abruptly and if his sole purpose now is merely to survive, what kind of life does he have anyway?

It’s why I always saw Joel to be one of the strongest characters in the whole of the TLOU universe. He was a father to an only child who was taken from him during the time the world was falling apart anyway. Not only was his own beautiful little world ended in that split second, the one he shared with his daughter, the whole planet was being ripped apart.

What motivated him to keep on living? We could say Tommy but a parents love like Joel’s is so incredibly powerful. Even my own parents once said to me (and I’m one of four children) that if I ever took my own life, they couldn’t go on themselves without me. The true love of a parent is absolutely infinitely one of the most powerful things in this world. Pedro absolutely portrayed that emotion in the moment when he’s trying to talk Henry down. It’s like he’s mentally saying “look at me, I understand, PLEASE, I understand”. Joel knows they’re not at risk to Henry at that moment, Henry is at risk to himself.

Not only that but Joel asks Ellie if she’s okay shortly after Sam dies and even tries to go to her but is stopped by Henry raising the gun to him.

We see Joel becoming softer and more of a father figure to Ellie in this situation. His usual hardened expression drops when he has just witnessed a serious threat to Ellie’s life. He can see the distress in her. He’s just watched her bond with a child over a period of time that she clearly felt very strongly for very quickly. He also has strong feelings about Ellie watching others die due to the discussion he has with her when she shoots the man in the previous episode to protect Joel.

“You’re just a kid. You shouldn’t know what it means to…” to kill someone he means.

He doesn’t want her to witness this world. He wants to protect her from it and we’re seeing so much more of that in these newer episodes. The paternal feelings he’s developing for her are slowly but surely finding their way out into the open.

And finally the note that Ellie leaves on Sam’s grave.

“I’m sorry.”

We see Joel realising when he reads this, that this young girl feels a lot more than she’s giving out. That Joel is starting to come to terms with how much of a weight is sitting on Ellie’s shoulders by being treat like a possible cure. That the thought of her feeling as though it’s her fault that she couldn’t save Sam from infection, ultimately has Joel feeling even more responsible for ensuring she doesn’t feel that way and that she understands how important she is in herself rather than to the rest of the crumbling world.

I really look forward to seeing how their relationship develops. Particularly, how Joel’s feelings develop further towards Ellie. I also look forward to seeing more vulnerability from Ellie. Joel walks around with this hardened expression but Ellie doesn’t need to do anything like that. We know from how she admits to Sam that she fears being left alone, that she has a lot of emotion she is holding back. She needs that someone to be vulnerable with and I can’t wait for her to let it all go for Joel.

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