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jellijellybean · 3 months

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nsfw takes on some [JJK] characters mdni

don't laugh at me alright. im soft and mushy most days so there's no hardcore kinks in this one gang. ngl sometimes i get really nervous about posting my writing but then i remember i used to write on quotev when i was fourteen and feel arguably worse. as always put your ages in bios please and thank you. [word count: 2.1k]

warnings: nsfw. slight choking (gojo), overstimulation (receiving w/geto), alcohol mention (shoko), uhh none for (nanami) i believe, nails/scratching (utahime), oral (tojo)

a/n: this was written to be gender neutral. i might do the curses next because i am but a humble sukuna enjoyer (its such a shame he's always on my mind and never on me.)

Gojo:

I feel like he's the type to set the pace real gentle and slow. He doesn't get the opportunity to shower you with his affection as much as he'd like, but when he does it leaves you breathless.

He drags his palm up towards your neck so he can cup your face in one of those big hands of his. His lips don't stop ghosting over your neck as he trails kiss after kiss until he's brushing against your lips while the hand cupping your face suddenly trails down to carefully wrap his long fingers around your throat.

The squeeze is almost too faint to feel, but your head spins regardless and the chuckle that rumbles through his chest at your reaction makes your stomach explode with butterflies.

His favorite thing though?

Loves it so much when you wrap your legs around his waist, he loves the feeling of your arms wounding tight around his shoulders, how he's practically engulfed by you.

Seriously. He just loves the way you feel when you're here clinging to him down to the right amount of pressure, always leaving him dizzy from the rush he gets. When you whisper his name over and over again he feels invincible.

All the responsibilities, the pain, and sorrow can wait, everything, all his worries, all his hurt can fade into the background when your fingers brush through his hair, repeating soft, "I love you's,” into his mouth until your voice fades and his breath hitches.

Geto:

A tease through and through.

The type to whisper that he wants to hear what you want, all the filthy things that enter your mind, he wants to hear it all. Purposely, leaves you begging for more just so he can repeat the words of, "..say it for me one more time," before he thinks of continuing. He's a bit more calculated with how well he sets the pace too.

Geto’s the type to observe your reactions, see how well you react to the way he slides in, how much pressure he'll need to use to have your legs shaking, and how sensitive you are to his touch. He takes his time to explore and learn just how to make your body sing.

You'd almost be startled by how often he focuses entirely on the way you feel when you're with him. The way you squeeze your eyes shut or when you try to pull him closer has his heart about to burst with the adoration he feels for you at that moment.

Be warned though, because of the pause he takes to admire you, to spend a few moments worshipping your very being — he'll absolutely overstimulate you afterwards, badly.

He might whisper that he's sorry, but he's almost there.. you can take a bit more, can't you? He got so distracted by you, he can't help it! The twitchy feeling below your stomach soon boils into burning pleasure when he continues the pace of his thrusts. He's kissing you, smothering your lips with kiss after kiss until your hands shake and your back arches once again.

Geto chuckles at the way your body tightens just right around him and he can't stop himself from cupping your face and holding it steady enough to keep your lips locked tight together.

Sigh. Isn't he so romantic?

Shoko:

You'd have to be the one to suggest anything, she's a busy woman with a packed schedule that leaves her exhausted.

Maybe, you decide to surprise her with a home-cooked dinner when she walks through the door and you finally get to see her tired smile as she tells you, you didn't have to.

You say it's the least you can do with the same bright grin you always wear and as you pull out the wine bottle kept safe for nights like this she caves and takes her seat right across from your own. Shoko's very thankful for your presence when you begin to talk about your day while she sits there and listens. A few drinks later and a quick movie leaves you guys on the couch, Shoko hovering above you as your hands rest against her hips.

The movie is long forgotten when you leave little nips and soft kisses against the sorceress' neck. Her shirt, slowly being pushed up and over her head just so you can continue to worship her delicate skin and watch the bites, scratches, and hickeys on her body slowly gain color.

Shoko’s more relaxed if anything, not really in a rush to get to where she needs to go. She is the type to really savor the moment as she tends to get lost in the way it feels the closer she gets to being pushed over that edge.

Something tells me she's also big on using her hands — mainly to touch your skin. Cup your face and trace the scars that you received from the time before you knew her. She even enjoys/savors the heat from your body as it slowly warms up her icy hands, and to Shoko, it's a constant reminder that you're here.

With her.

It keeps her grounded, especially after a long day of seeing sorcerers in different states of agony. You're her rock and she couldn't feel happier with anyone else, after all, you're all she needs in this world.

Nanami:

Nanami is a bit harder for me to calculate, but he gives very solid and strong vibes, give me a second to explain. Feels like his pace would be as steady as can be.. in the sense that he doesn't necessarily change it much. You might feel him get a bit rougher the closer he gets, really wanting to press deep, but he mostly keeps himself stable and has pretty good stamina overall.

Not the type to really get lost in the moment, but he tends to bask in the way his muscles tense and then how his body relaxes after he climaxes. He's a bit more on the quiet side too, not into talking too much but more into soft sighs and heavy breathing.

Don't expect his pace to be erratic unless you purposely tease him throughout the day — you'll know what's about to happen when he suddenly clasps a hand on your shoulder, pinky close enough to your neck he'd be able to caress the skin if he wanted to. He's ruthless, but still.. restrained in a sense until you goad him a bit more — keep babbling about whatever, tease him until you see the cracks in his self-control.

Man's will be talking then, whispering how exactly you affect him. How you invade his mind on days he needs to focus, how you're always there regardless of what he's doing.

When he's at work he wonders if you're awake. In the car he questions whether you've eaten or not and even when he's dealing with curses he thinks back to you.. at home waiting for him and he finds himself being a bit more careful.

Calculated and calm.

He needs to get home to you after all. Nanami tends to be a little more looser, letting out moans and groans more freely, his deep voice leaves you shivering. He normally falls asleep after nights like these though, arm wrapped taut around your body, making sure to keep you close to his chest. Just hold him tight and whisper that everything will be okay — he'll fully believe you.

Utahime:

Alright, something about this lady just gives me.. brat vibes (if you can say that.)

She won’t be downright mean to you but will do anything to get a reaction out of you so to speak. I’m talking when you guys are training and she manages to knock you down to the ground with a bright grin on her face all while exclaiming that she beat you!

Utahime can laugh and giggle all she wants about her victory and she might even say that you let your guard down, that you didn’t give it your all, and that you lost — to her.

It might make your blood boil a bit when she says those words to you, a slight tremble in your fingers as you reach for her arm to tug her down.

Now it’s your turn to laugh at the shock on her face, the way she whispers that your tactics are dirty, and the fact her face flushed at the realization of just how close you two were. You’re practically on top of her! She says it with a slight glare but your hands slip under her shirt before she even has a second to open her mouth again. It's funny watching, almost entranced, as her eyes widen before she tries to squirm away.

She stares, jaw slack, as the grin grows on your face when you throw a teasing remark back to her that gets her blood boiling all while teasing her chest. Utahime begins to take this as a challenge — to see who’s the real loser and before you realize it, girl has you flipped over with her hands underneath your shirt. Her strength surprises you as she slowly clambers on top of your body, feeling the way her nails ghost across your skin before digging into your shoulders.

Oof yeah, the nails are something she uses — often. Talking deep scratches along your back and shoulders that burn with an almost addicting pain, might even leave imprints when she cums with how hard she digs them into your skin. Sometimes it has you worried she’s drawing blood lol.

I also get talkative vibes from her, like she whispers soft curses and small threats like, “If you stop.. I’m going to kill you.” (LMAO) but the majority of the time, when you guys aren’t at each other’s throats, she’s a real softy with her words.

Very open about how good you make her feel and will gladly tell you so, but be warned because she expects the same energy back.

Honestly, just tell her how much you love her, how badly she affects you, and just how often she’s on your mind and I promise she’ll be eating out of your palm in no time because.. really.

All she wants is someone to love and appreciate the way she is without the need to hide any part of herself and look who's perfect for that.

Toji:

You guys probably met at some bar that served cheap booze and different types of filling foods. The screens on the tv’s playing random sports or the news or even some random cartoon — it’s overstimulating and you don’t even realize it until the sound of someone shuffling beside you is enough to drag your attention away.

The man doesn’t seem to acknowledge you but yawns very openly, you swear you’d be able to hear it if the people chatting weren’t so loud. Toji on the other hand, noticed you from across the room. His first thoughts were that you were cute looking, not really meant to be on this side of town without a reason, so he decided to sit next to you and see if you'd be interested in conversation.

(I can’t describe it but Toji to me doesn’t really give romantic vibes, but he’d still be at least somewhat considerate of your comfort and pleasure.)

Don't expect kisses to the lips and soft pillow talk, expect a bite to your ear and him forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. Just ti keep himself hunched over your body until he's practically engulfing you and everything you are. Has a mix of having such a ruthless pace that leaves you gasping for air each time he bullies his way inside and then having the slow and lazy one with how gentle he rocks his hips into you when he feels like switching it up.

He won't admit it but he loves the fact you can never seem to hide the noises he drags out of you — it's a song only he's able to hear and that leaves him on cloud nine.

Might catch him lying on his back afterwards, staring at the ceiling with a somewhat blank look on his face. You might think that's it. That he's got what he wanted and is about to leave and never speak to you again, but the truth is, he's not sure how to ask if you'd be interested in meeting up like this again and again and again.

It's been a while since he's actually slept with someone he feels like he has good compatibility with and that's hard to find in this day and age. Won't say anything about it but you'll find it kind of weird when you slowly begin to see him around a bit more. Maybe he's walking down the street or standing in line at the grocery store and you see him again.

Call it fate or whatever but he draws you closer, like a moth to a flame. You'll learn about his thing with oral as time goes on. Loves the way you sound with his fingers in your mouth or when it's been such a rough day all he needs is you, on your back, trying to shove his head away while you beg and plead for some mercy.

It's honestly his favorite pastime. Let's just hope you two don't get into anything too frisky because my man is shameless and all I can say is godspeed soldier.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x gn!reader #jjk x gender neutral reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jelly's writings #bro #i honestly hope its alright cuz like.. im a bit all over the place lmao #love all my wives #currently having thoughts about the curses and the main trio #..give me time and we'll see (lying)#reminder to drink water losers.#also first post on tumble? jeez i feel. wrong.

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ibrokeadesktoday · 4 months

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I love podlock, and their interactions are so charming and actually show that they both like each other. I'm gnawing at the walls over it.

However. I have a feeling, which I hope is wrong, that the narrative is pushing towards an eventual Mariana and John relationship. There's just a little bit too much lingering on pauses between them and a bit too much of a Tone when it comes to their interactions that makes me think that's where the podcast is heading. Don't get me wrong, I love our ms. Hudson, but this has been in the back of my head for the last five or so episodes.

Also, notably, Mariana is pretty close to Mary.

#sherlock and co #sherlock & co #i hope very much that Im wrong about this #idk if well get full on podlock but a qp relationship would also be nice #but especially considering the mentions of “frauleins” in the blue carbuncle one it feels like the show is trying to reinforce #a narrative of john being super into women #course i think bi john is the way to go but we'll have to wait and see #fingers crossed Im wrong #or at least that we get any sort of set up before the relationship arc if there is one

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lottieurl · 1 year

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in a hilarious turn of events the things i love most about s2 are the same things that make me worry about the future of the show. hear me out. s2 lottie is absolutely everything to me but IF they even had that planned while writing s1 the transition from late s1 lottie to s2 lottie is very very jarring. and then you have mistycrystal storyline which i just do not believe was something they planned during s1 and if they did then they handled it poorly. cause crystal should have been at the very least name dropped during s1 or something else should have hinted at what is being now portrayed as genuinely traumatic. and of course you can find ways to explain all of that. i did! but i'm not really talking about in-universe type explanation but what i see on screen and what i think IS concerning because IF they don't have the entirety of what happened in the wilderness mapped out in their heads then the characterization of the adults will always be unstable and shaky and inconsistent for seasons to come

#sorry for being a doomer #im still loving most of this dont get me wrong #but this is things i was noticing from ep 1 and after last ep i think it's becoming hard to ignore #and i have watched nearly 200 tv shows lmao i know what can and usually dooms them #and i really hope im wrong here cause i want this show to be phenomenal until the very end #but s2 doesnt quite feel like a Continuation of the show its moreso a new thing building on s1 if that makes sense #idk makes me nervous #we'll see i guess what happens #im gonna stop posting abt the worries now tho just needed to get it out of my system #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets blogging

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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yakuza: dead souls - american vibes, bigass guns, and why zombies are super weird to have in ryu ga gotoku thematically/ideologically speaking

so i've been playing dead souls recently (hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah) and although i'm having the time of my life with it, there was something about it that kinda felt off to me, and i think i've figured out what it was, but i'm gonna have to walk you through a bit of my thought process to get there.

my first instinct was that it felt... american? and upon further examination i think that boils down to a couple of things:

everyone suddenly has lots of guns and also way way bigger guns

high emphasis on individual heroism (this itself is quite typical for rgg, but it manifests differently here; more on that in a bit)

military/government incompetence, which must be solved by the right individuals having the biggest and bestest guns

[for the sake of transparency i will note that my experience with zombie media is pretty limited and skews american (and i myself am american), so that may create bias. however, the 'this feels american to me' instinct is a rare one for me even in genres where i have seen little/no non-american media, so i think the fact that it did occur to me is notable. what about dead souls triggered that response when little else has? that's why i examined it and, truthfully, i think there's merit in the idea itself.]

the first point is pretty self-explanatory. america's got more guns than it does people, and its gun worship is infamous. japan's ban on guns (aided by its being an island state) means there's far fewer guns in the country, as well as far fewer people with guns (and likely far fewer guns per gun owner, excepting arms dealers/smugglers) than somewhere without such a ban. obviously, there are guns anyway. due to their illegality they are clustered within the criminal population, which explains their presence within organized crime within the series. very few guns will be sitting around in the homes of otherwise law-abiding citizens.

and yet, when the zombie outbreak hits kamurocho, plenty of civilians suddenly have access to quite an arsenal. everyone has the knowledge they need to aim, fire, and reload smoothly and quickly; ammo is infinite for certain guns. characters we've never seen using firearms before suddenly have shotguns under their couches (looking at you, majima). it's not only very different from reality, it's very different from guns' place within the series up until this point, when they were limited weapons used primarily by the enemy.

and they're making a zombie shooter, so of course they would have to do this. it has to be unrealistic to be simultaneously in this setting and in this genre, in the same way that yakuza solving their problems with bareback fistfights instead of guns is itself both unrealistic and necessary to being the kinds of games rgg are.

my point is that this is a kind of focus on and valorization of gun ownership and competency unusual for the series and setting. further, it serves as an argument for why an armed, competent populace is crucial typical in american media.

which brings us to the third point (we'll get to 2 in a minute). guns are often marketed as self-defense weapons. the implication is that the government's defense of the individual (via law enforcement or the military, but particularly the former), are insufficient. this is objectively true. if someone pulls a gun on you at the gas station, will a cop manifest out of thin air to intercede? no. that's impossible. but if you have a gun, or if some bystander has a gun, you or they may be able to do something with that gun to stop the armed person. thus, there is an undeniable gap in the effective immediacy of such responses.

many gun advocates also point to the incompetence or insufficiency of law enforcement, even when they are present to stop an armed aggressor. the fact that law enforcement do not have a 100% success rate in protecting the citizenry is also objectively true.

so, when you are in danger, arming yourself increases your chances of being able to put down (or at least take armed action against) a present or potential threat. whether it is viewed it as a supplement to or a replacement for law enforcement, it is meant to make up for the shortcomings of the government's ability to completely protect all its citizens. it's a safety net for state failure.

back to dead souls. rgg has always centered political corruption in its stories, including politicians, the police, and sometimes even the military, though usually the former two. sometimes this is treated sympathetically (i.e. tanimura, a dirty cop, whose dirty-cop-ness allows him to work outside/against the law to help disadvantaged people, not unlike how kiryu views being a yakuza), and other times it's simply a matter of greed or lust for power (i.e. jingu).

however, something that's almost never touched on so clearly is government incompetence. when the government fails to help people or hurts them or does corrupt things, it's usually due to a competent, malicious bad apple who is removed from power by the end of the game. this implies holes in the system because it keeps happening all the time, but that's on a series-wide scale, a pattern ignored by the series in favor of the individual game solution of "this guy's gone now :) yay".

but in dead souls, the SDF's barracades fall, their men are killed, they are unable to help protect the people outside or inside the quarantine zone. they are weak in a way the government usually isn't in these games. and who is stronger than them? our individual good guys with guns. so we need to be armed because the government is weak and can't protect us. boom. america.

returning to point 2, i'd like to say that dead souls is not particularly more individualistic than any of the other games in the series (other than, perhaps, y7). rgg is an incredibly individualistic series, actually. its protagonists are usually men who defy, oppose, and skirt around the law as a way of helping others and doing what is truly right (with a few exceptions, like shinada and haruka). the romanticized view of the yakuza as a force for helping the community in the face of government incompetence is a real one, and one that tends to manifest itself most in kiryu and how the series treats him. it shows us yakuza who aren't willing to kill, yakuza who cry about honor and justice and humanity and brotherhood, yakuza who never dip their hands into less palatable crimes, or only do with intense regret (and only ever as part of their backstory). the beat-em-up style emphasizes this as well. i mean, what's more individualistic than a one-man army?

put more clearly, this series is about men defying legal and social laws and expectations to live in a way that feels right to them, and about making themselves strong enough to combat those who would get in their way. the individual is placed before the society in importance, (though generally in a way that benefits the community, because they are good guys who want to use that agency and power for good).

all of this is true in dead souls as well, technically. those who live on the outskirts of society are the ones who actually save the day, and the ones who go in there and save people rather than just walling them off and pretending like they don't exist. they have the guns, which are illegal and mark them as criminals, but this broken law is what gives them the power to save themselves when the government will not, and to save their community if they so choose.

where dead souls differs is in the nature of that strength.

rgg places a lot of emphasis on self-improvement, both of one's body and of one's character. do both of these, and you will be strong enough to back up your ambitions. what allows someone to carve their own path in life is the ability to put down ideological and physical resistance by having resolve and the ability to tiger drop whoever won't be swayed by your impassioned speeches. you make yourself a weapon. you make yourself strong. in dead souls, that strength comes from an external, material possession. strength is something you buy (or that you take from someone else). who is able to survive the apocalypse comes not from the heart, nor from rigorous training, but from who has the most, the biggest, and the most bestest guns. it's an intersection of capitalism, militarization, and individualism. simply, deeply american.

[when i was talking myself through this a few days ago, i spent a lot more time on the capitalism + individualism stuff, but i think i'll keep this moving. consider this aside the intermission]

dead souls also differs for a few other interlocking reasons. it can be described with this equation:

zombification of enemies + lethality of guns = loss of emphasis on redemption

if your best friend turned into a zombie, could you shoot them? or your child? or your lover? it's a common trope, but it's a damn good one. watching your family, your neighbors, your town, everyone turn into a husk of themselves, something that looks like them but cannot be reached, is deeply tragic. it's even more tragic when these husks are trying to kill you. unable to be reasoned with and unable to be cured, you must incapacitate them before someone innocent is hurt--or hurt, then themselves made dangerous; each loss adds to the number of threats surrounding you. your life is seen as more valuable than that of your zombified friend, not only because the zombie is attacking you and it's self defense, but because they are no longer a person to you. to be a zombie is to no longer be human; zombification is dehumanization.

and so in a series so focused on connection with one's community, on saving innocent civilians, often on saving kamurocho specifically, one would expect similar tropes to occur. even if one's friends aren't turned, perhaps the cashier at poppo you chat with sometimes is. it's the destruction of that community and of the members one has tertiary relationships with that i expect would occur most within a kamurocho zombie story, since they are likely unwilling to axe anyone more important than that, even if dead souls isn't canon. i'd especially expect to see that in the beginning, before the need to kill zombies rather than contain or redeem them becomes apparent.

this does not happen.

i cannot speak for the entire game, but i can speak of gameplay choices that affect this, and ones i think will not be subverted throughout, even if they are somewhat contradicted by plot events i am presently unaware of.

kamurocho is not a community to protect, nor is it filled with your fellows. it is a playground filled with infinitely respawning, infinitely mow-downable, infinitely disposable zombies. you are meant and encouraged to kill them by the thousands, and never to hesitate or consider whether they may be cured or who may be mourning them. who may be unable to identify their loved one because you were trying to reach a headshot goal from hasegawa. you are not meant to consider them as human, nor beings that were once human, nor beings that could be human again, in the eyes of the zombie shooter. they are merely bodies, targets, and obstacles.

the zombies are contrasted with the true humans, those barricading themselves within the quarantine zone or those living in ignorance outside it. humans are meant to be saved, zombies are meant to be killed. the player character is the only one who can truly help with either of these goals, because the other humans are cowardly, ignorant, or unarmed/helpless. you must be their savior. to be a savior is to eliminate zombies, who are less than human.

the black and white nature of this is also emphasized by another gameplay characteristic: the lack of street encounters. when you traverse the peaceful parts of kamurocho, you are never attacked. you are also never directly attacked by the humans within the quarantine zone. kamurocho feels very different without its muggers and hooligans, but it's because this is a zombie shooter, not a beat-em-up. in a normal rgg title, you'd subdue threats by punching, kicking, and throwing them. you'd use your body in (supposedly) nonlethal ways. dead souls does not have a combat system meant for civilians. you have your guns. you subdue threats by shooting them, preferably lethally. the game doesn't want you to do that to humans, so you never fight humans. this furthers the black and white divide between the salvation-worthy, noble humans and the death-worthy, worthless zombies. combat is only lethal, and only used against the inherent other.

this leads me to the part of dead souls i find most conflicting with the ethos of rgg broadly, and perhaps its greatest ideological/thematic failing.

because the enemy are incurable, dangerous, and inhuman, you must kill them to protect yourself and others, others who are still human. humanity is something that is lost or preserved, but never regained. once someone's gone, they're gone, and you not only must kill them, it is your duty and your right to kill them. you should kill them.

in dead souls, there is no redeeming the enemy.

and that's a big problem.

rgg is about a lot of things, but a key one is the ability of people to change for the better. its most memorable, beloved villains are those who see the light by the end and change their wicked ways (usually through some form of redemptive suicide, though that's another essay in itself). its pantheon of characters is full of those who come from questionable backgrounds struggling to be the best people they can be, to live as themselves authentically and compassionately. it's about the good and the love you can find in the moral and legal gray zones of life/society, and the potential/capacity for good all of us have, no matter how far we may have fallen. it is a hopeful series. it is a merciful series.

this is something bolstered by its gameplay. countless substories are resolved by punching a lesson into someone until they improve their behavior, either out of fear or genuine remorse/development. the games don't just discourage killing your enemies, they don't allow you to (yes, we've all seen the "kiryu hasn't killed anybody? umm. look at this heat action" stuff before, and while they've got a point, i believe it's the narrative's intent that none of this is actually lethal, based on how laxly it treats certain plot injuries (cough cough. y7 bartender) and the actual concept of taking a life, the gravity it is given by the text, particularly when it comes to characters crossing that threshold into someone who has killed. explicit killing is not an option open to you, even when you're being attacked by dozens and dozens of armed men. conflicts are resolved by simply beating up enough guys in this nonlethal manner.

but dead souls is a shooter. to avoid conflict with the series' moral qualms about letting its characters kill, the enemies cannot be human. furthermore, the zombie shooter genre can only fit within the series if its zombies are completely inhuman. this means their pasts as humans cannot be acknowledged, nor the possibility of a cure, nor the characters' own potential conflicts about killing them; or, at least, not in a way that impedes their or the player's ability to gun them down afterwards.

if you can't kill humans in your series, then it cannot be possible to save (in this case, rehumanize) zombies. this is especially true in a game where you are unable to fight humans, and thus human lives are universally more valuable than zombie lives. because if you kill a zombie that can be cured, you are, in a way, killing a human.

and so, in a series where you should always assume your enemies (and everyone, for that matter) are capable of reason, compassion, change, and redemption, and where they are always worth that effort, even if they reject it in the end, dead souls' enemies are irredeemable and only worth swift, stylish slaughter. there are only good guys and bad guys. good guys must be protected, lest they be turned irreversibly into bad guys. good guys are only protected by killing bad guys, and the only way to save good guys is to kill every last one of the bad guys. do not spare them, and do not ask whether or not it's right. only kill.

i love dead souls. it's a silly game. i like seeing daigo in decoy-drag and majima gleefully cartwheeling his way through zombies and ryuji with his giant gun arm prosthetic. it's fun. but when i was trying to figure out what felt off about it to me, one of the words that came to mind (besides american) was indulgent. that, too, felt odd, because i love indulgent media. i am not one to scorn decadent, hedonistic, beautiful high-calorie slop type media. if dead souls was just fan servicey, that wouldn't really bother me. i am a fan and boy do i feel serviced. it rocks. but i think my problem is in what dead souls is indulging.

i think dead souls indulges in the desire to cut loose, and to see these characters cut loose. thing is, they're cutting loose all over kamurocho, and all over the bodies of people they used to (at least in concept) care for. with lethal weapons. it is catharsis via bloodbath, not by pushing your body and mind to the limit in man to man combat, but by pulling a trigger before the other guy can hurt you, or even think about hurting you, for the crime of existing as the wrong kind of thing.

and i just don't think that's in line with rgg's beliefs.

yes, it's probably fair for dead souls' characters to kill zombies. i'm not against that. i'm also not against games letting you do purposeless violence. i spent a good amount of my elementary school years killing oblivion npcs for shits, like. that's not what bothers me about dead souls.

rgg as a series has always taken a hard stance in both its game design and narrative choices against killing and for the potential for redemption in its enemies. and i think the lengths to which it goes to promote that despite the probably-lethal moves you do and the improbability of a harmless do-gooder yakuza is one of the most endearing things about the games. so for this one entry to disregard that key theme for the sake of a genre shift that flopped super hard, well? i dunno. it feels weird i guess. it's out of place not just because it's a dramatic shift in gameplay and style and also zombies are only a thing here (and the supernatural/fantastical are thus only prominent here), but because of what those shifts imply.

so, uh. yeah. my pre-dead-souls thoughts that dead souls wasn't that out of pocket bc rgg's just kinda weird? turns out it was actually super weird to have a zombie shooter in there, but for way way deeper reasons than anyone gives it credit for.

(footnotes in tags)

#1) i deemphasized the physicality of shooting to emphasize my points about the viscerality and personal nature of rgg #brawls and the colder more detached nature of gun use relative to that but i do NOT mean that shooting has no physical component to it #obviously it takes a lot of skill to shoot quickly and accurately and lugging a bigass gun around kamurocho would tucker me out for sure #2) no i don't think all those things i said were american were usa-exclusive. it's a big world out there. i'm just saying those things #combined feel like a particularly american flavor of thing to me #3) there's probably more to be said about the connection between wanton killing and american styling or anti-immigration theming in zombie #stories or dead souls But i figured that was a bit too disconnected to the funny zombie game. this shit was a lot anyway y'know?#4) also i don't think most of this was intentional on the part of rgg studios. i genuinely think they just wanted to make a fun zombie #shooter and didnt really think about it all that hard. whenever you make smth there's gonna be implications you never considered. it happen #5) is it ballsy to write a giant essay on a game i'm like 1/4 the way through? yes. i've done smarter things. i'll revisit it when im done #if i'm wrong then i'll figure it out probably. but like. i don't think they'd set up the hasegawa objective stuff or have akiyama just #unflinchingly start shooting zombies and then later challenge that. we'll see but my hopes aren't high y'know? i know rgg #6) i should also clarify that violent catharsis is a) a part of all rgg games and b) cool as hell. it's the lethal bit that doesn't fit with #the series y'know?#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #yakuza #like a dragon #yakuza dead souls #dead souls #classic skrunk 4 hr middle of the night impulse essay hooorayy

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just-jessiejames · 1 year

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oh yeah i'm fine im writing a fanfic about two boys falling in love instead of, idk seeing a doctor for a mysterious medical problem, but yeah. no im okie dokie! definitely nothing wrong going on here

#listen tylorpe is the only thing i got going for me rn okay #im having weird things going on rn and all i wanna do is write #crossing my fingers im not about to keel over and die or something #that would be a shame cause my story would be unfinished (oh yeah and ig i'd also be dead thats a bummer too-)#ive been uhm ““not okay”” for a week. im really hoping i will return to being okay naturally w/o a doctor #cause it is the HOLIDAYS and who tf wants to go to the doctor during fucking christmas #but yeah idk i have something wrong going on and its almost christmas ill probably (probably) be okay idk ig we'll see #never understood those unhinged authors until rn #ofc i'd be one of those people casually maybe dying or smthin and still posting fic chapters good god im #tylorpe #tavier #tyler x xavier #xavier x tyler #tyler galpin #xavier thorpe #jessiejames writes #my fanfic #my writing #writing #ao3

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binghe-malewife-goals · 10 months

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Me, an intellectual, scoffing at the theories for arcane s2 bc no one seems to understand the characters

#this is mostly a joke #mostly #but no seriously ive seen some rly stupid takes about how viktor will become the machine herald #yall treating him like he WANTS to continue fucking with the hexcore when he clearly says No Fuck That #man tries to destroy it and then asks Jayce to destroy *despite* the benefits the hexcore may have #so i don't think viktor would voluntarily fuck with it more unless theres like no other choice or forced/coerced to u know #also i dont think mel will die bc i remember one of the writers/directors saying we'll see more of her #not to mention framing at end of episode. sus #but if she does die then i guess i wouldn't be surprised if jayce becomes the stereotypical “grr! revenge revenge!” manly man bc i dont have #high hopes for his writing but i hope im proven wrong 😂#also not to mention the fact when jayce. you know. acted on that revenge need he killee and kid and immediately regretted it so.#not so sure how willing he is to do that again #arcane lol #pina talks #*whispers* idk if yall know this but usually it bad writing if you immediately revoke something you set up in the episode before

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soumaizumip · 1 year

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My Soccerwife Might Be Dead and I Am Going to Have to Learn to Be OK With That (But For Now I Am Very Annoyed)

god ok 204, let me down one last time (overreaction) (still waiting to actually see him if we even get to but the implications are driving me batty)

at this point i can’t even say if i think they’ll actually ever bring the old kunigami back. they seem just fine letting this be the way he is now

i Really wanted him to be punished in this game. if he was going to change this would have been it. this should have been it

at the very least i wanted him to get knocked down a peg. he had one goal which he basically stole from isagi which seemed to have already been going in without his intervention

i wanted him to get a lower bid this time

and yet

and it’s basically just the same thing. he hasn’t changed from when he first came back “he’s big and we trained him to be an asshole, and the people love that”

everything points to him being successful right now, that this is what works and this is what he should be doing

hell his bid doubled even though he BARELY played a part in this game WHICH HE SHOULD HAVE PLAYED MORE OF BECAUSE IT’S AGAINST CHIGIRI AND IT SHOULD HAVE MEANT A LOT TO HIM NARRATIVELY AS MUCH AS IT DOES TO ME, A RELENTLESS FUJOSHI WITH A FIRE BURNING IN HER HEART OK I’M SORRY I’LL MOVE ON

we are being told he will not change, that nothing so far has driven him to change, whether it’s being outshone by isagi, ignored by his team, or... chigiri, at all

they really got my damn hopes up with their reunion, and their reactions on the field... when in the end it did not matter at all

this game was not about them, it was not about kunigami

when, no fujo, i think it really should have been. that’s how it was quite literally set up to be so i don’t think that’s unreasonable to think

What was all this for then. truly. did they forget they wrote this 8 months ago

if this is not what is going to get him to change then what fucking is how much more grandeur do you need because any opponent they face from now on does not know the old kunigami and does not give a shit about him (we are ignoring that on paper no one in blue lock gives a shit about each other you know what i mean)

i’m not gonna act like i know better than the author but literally what was the point of this game then. it dragged on for eight months. 204 has isagi recapping what he ‘learned’ which is learning to use his eyes for the 80th time

the game ended up having the most development for yukki? (or maybe that's just all i remember bc it took 8 fucking months) which is fine. but that didn’t need to result in their win

this win just felt like it has no point for isagi (he’d still have his revelations but who he was facing was irrelevant) and germany when a loss would’ve meant a lot for kunigami. hell even with them winning the writer just seems to not care about seeing any kind of story line for him through. and that makes me sad

maybe im jumping the gun maybe we’ll get meaningful reactions from the 2 of them after this but... i am not expecting anything anymore for this round

because honestly what can chigiri even say after this. what a kick in the face

he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on anymore to wake him up. chigiri lost, kunigami won, and he’s more successful than he’s ever been. they keep hinting at a “pride before the fall” for nagi but i doubt they’ll go through those motions for kunigami

also chigiri should’ve had a way higher bid but i didn’t know where to say that. he is the goddamn speed star

#blue lock spoilers #every passing week is filled with dread for when we'll actually see him after the game #but you know what if we just didn't. they might truly think it doesn't matter #when it matters So Much to me #kunichigi #again for my records #txt #boy i hope im wrong and i can look back and be like wow what an overreaction just wait #but will i #maybe i'll see my wife in 2024

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cutemeat · 10 months

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the new season sucks so far

speak your truth!

#i liked the first two eps but tbh i can see the other side of it (ep3 soured me on things i wont lie lol)#[redacted] was possibly the kiss of death for sunny (which was my initial fear after news broke) but we have 5 eps left so ig we'll see #i want them to prove me wrong #lmao i swear every day im going between extremes w sunny either is pure cynicism or naive hope #also imagine if this was the only ask i got #it wasnt but imagine. damn. that wouldve been kinda funny

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miyku · 2 years

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we all shitting on dragon age dreadwolf title....but oooh booooy i hope its the only thing thats shitty shitty. I really dont wanna see another andromeda game after being in the development hell for years and years

#like fuck the title ...just give me a good fucking game #random #also im gonna keep calling it dragon age 4 #i rly wanna be super optimistic about this game...but i feel like its gonna be a broken mess #and we'll probably see another of those jason schreiers articles: 'bioware was forced to work on dragon age game'#hope im super wrong wrong :)

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friendandphoe · 1 year

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TWO DAYS LATE BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY @ahbonjour I LOVE YOU HAVE SOME NEW MOVIE HOUSE BRAINROT

also @museumlad and @creativeskull95 you may also enjoy this have fun

David calls Donnie at 2:37 pm on a completely nondescript Tuesday with a brisk, "I have a proposition for you," in lieu of a hello.

"Shit, babe, let me grab the condoms and the lube, I can be at your place in fifteen." Donnie says, because his mouth moves faster than his brain and both of them hate him.

David's eye roll is practically audible over the phone, but so is his smile when he responds, "I'd literally rather fling myself into the fires of Mount Doom than get anywhere near your dick ever again. No, doofus, I've got a work thing. Interested?"

"God, yes." Donnie groans. Thank someone David Peterson is his best friend before his anything else and is used to the shit that comes out of Donnie's mouth. "I told you about my new set, right?"

"I thought you said you didn't have anything."

"Because I don't, Dave. The new set is a whole lot of nothing. I've been tearing my hair out for weeks trying to think of stuff, my brain is, like, fully fried at this point."

David snorts. "What, our breakup didn't give you any material to work with?"

Donnie blows a raspberry, flinging an arm over his eyes even though Lark's been gone for, like, a week doing some business bitch shit and isn't around to see his dramatics. "Do me a favor and be more of an asshole so I can actually pull something out of it. There's nothing funny about an amicable break up."

"Statistically, between the two of us, you're more likely to be the asshole about it." David points out. "Write a joke about how you jumped on the chance to fuck as soon as you heard my voice."

Donnie has. Many of them. None of them have lived to see the light of day. "You propositioned me, motherfucker. You literally said, 'I have a proposition for you' and expected me to not take that in a fucky direction?"

David snorts again. "Go get laid and then maybe we can progress past two sentences without you thinking I want to bone down."

All half-formed jokes about this conversation immediately fly out of his head. "David," Donnie begs. "I will literally pay you whatever you want to have you never say the words 'bone down' in reference to sex ever again."

"I am only ever going to call it boning down from now on." David says immediately, because he's an asshole. Not enough of one to use as material for a good comedy set, but to be honest, Donnie thinks he can live with that. He’ll gladly settle for missing out on comedy gold because of a peaceful breakup if it means he gets to keep his best friend. "I think you should bone down so that you stop thinking that I'm trying to bone down with you. I’m just an innocent business boy trying to do my job—"

Never fucking mind, this man is terrible and Donnie hates him. "Oh my god."

"—and here you are sullying my good-natured intentions with thoughts of boning down—"

"Stoooop."

"—when all I've ever tried to do is live by the eternal words of our lord and savior Britney Spears. I just want to work, bitch. All my long nights at the office, all my running around trying to find you, my dearest friend, a well-paying gig, because even though our amorous relations have since ended I still hold you near to my heart, and yet! You scorn my kindness with advances towards boning down.”

"I'm dying. Literally dying."

“Distasteful behavior, truly. Horrendous. You’re a rake and a rapscallion and I shan’t do business with you anymore if you’re only going to lust after me the whole time. ‘Tis a futile endeavor, Donaldo. Your feelings are simply unrequited. I daresay you have transformed into what is known in some circles as a simp. Do you know what a simp is, D? I learned that one like a week ago. You’re down bad tremendous, as the kids might say. Bone down tremendous, even."

"I'm gonna — I'm hanging up, Peterson."

"Alright, fuck you then, I don't have a job offer for you."

Donnie whines. "Nooo, Davey my Davey, I didn't mean it, let me pay rent this month."

“Are you going to listen to me talk about internet slang.” David says, punctuating each word with a clap.

“No, because it’s, like, basically all AAVE and I bet you literally anything that Lark and my mom have been saying that shit for years.”

David snorts. “I would pay good money to hear your mom use the word ‘simp’ in a sentence.”

Donnie laughs. “Pay up, then, that’s Black 90s shit."

"Goddammit, internet," David mutters, and Donnie's phone chimes.

"Goddammit, internet," he agrees, pulling away to check whatever notification just came in. Venmo: David Peterson paid you $30. — Reparations — Your Venmo balance is now $30. "Alright, you're forgiven."

"God bless and goodnight," David says dryly. "Can I give you this goddamn job offer now."

Donnie waves a hand airily. David will sense it through the phone. "See, if you'd started with that instead of 'I have a proposition'—"

"Donnie."

"Shutting up now. Blow me away, Peterson."

David clears his throat and puts on his Business Professional voice. "Donnie Frasier, on behalf of Love Productions USA, I would like to formally offer you a position as presenter on the reboot of The Great American Baking Show."

Donnie jolts up, eyes wide. "Shut up. You're joking."

"I am not."

"DAVID."

"Mhmm." David hums, smug as hell. "We're location scouting right now, but once we have that settled we'll fly you in so you can get acquainted with the crew while we're holding baker auditions. Once we've found our twelve and they're signed on, you'll stay on-location for an additional ten weeks while we're filming. You're looking at a period of about, uh, maybe fifteen to sixteen weeks total? Just the one season for now, but, y'know, contract is open to renewal depending on ratings and reception. Food and board are included, and we're probably working with your regular rate, but I'll have to double check our budget with Jay. Obviously you know Lark has already signed on as a judge, we just got George Fox of 'the Corporal Cooks' on as the other judge—"

"DAVID!"

"I'm producing, natch, James Matsuki is with me on that — him and Fox have someone in mind for, uh. Shit, either floor manager or director, I don't remember, but Lark and I wanted to recommend you for presenter. We're trying to get Mags Taylor to go on with you—"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"—provided you accept." David finishes, like it would ever cross Donnie’s mind to refuse. "You wanna hear who else we have for crew? I've actually worked with a lot of them on other projects, they're good people."

"Absolutely fucking not, I'm in, I'm in, I was already in as soon as you opened your beautiful perfect mouth! David!" Donnie hollers, scrambling up and out of bed and down the hall into his kitchen, flinging his laptop open with feral desperation. "Did you — I have to — does Susan know, I have to email Susan —"

David huffs. "Who do you think I am? I emailed Susan about it like three days ago, she said to go to you directly."

"THREE DAYS?"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Donald."

"YOU HELD OUT ON ME FOR THREE DAYS, DAVARIAH?" Donnie bellows, whipping through his inbox. There's a handful of offers from venues to host him for shows, an update on the ongoing thread from his tour manager — there! The sacred [email protected], nestled right underneath what might be a fan that somehow got a hold of his professional email address.

"Tell Susan to respond to me faster, then." David says mildly, rustling something on his end of the call.

"Leave my poor sweet Susan alone, she's done nothing wrong ever in her life and it's not her fault you never loved me." Donnie fires back, scanning through Susan's summary of the offer — same shit David was telling him, minus any name dropping, thank you best friend/ex-boyfriend perks. He replies with a very enthusiastic ABSOLUTELY HELL YES, which will not surprise Susan in the slightest. "Not even Susan can warm the frozen tundras of your heart."

David sighs, long and heavy. "You're such a fucking drama queen. I'm going to write a guide for your next partner, so they know how to deal with you."

"That's — fair, honestly. Make a note on my fabulous ass and sparkling personality, though."

"What sparkling personality," David mutters, but clears his throat back into Business Professional. "So, Donnie Frasier, do you accept the offer?"

Donnie pauses. "Am I allowed to have 'fuck yeah' on the record?"

David hangs up on him.

~*~

They've only been separated for three weeks, but Lark's airport tackle makes Donnie feel like he's returning from World War 2.

"You're in!" Lark screams, ignoring the affronted looks they're getting from the other people meandering out of baggage claim.

Donnie squeezes hard around her waist and pulls her up, spinning her around twice for good measure. It never hits him just how much he misses his sister until they're reunited. "I'm in!" He yells back, and relishes the scandalized cough they get from the white lady brushing past them.

Somewhere off to their right, someone laughs. "Twinth, huh?"

"Twins," David agrees, and clears his throat. "Y'all ready to go?"

They're not, but Donnie knows how to compromise. He sets Lark back down in her feet and wraps an arm around her shoulders, grinning wildly at her as they set out. "Look at you!"

"Look at me!" Lark agrees, beaming back. She looks great — she's switched out her locs for twists and her blue sundress pops against her dark skin, and yeah, that's great, but underneath it all, she's glowing. She looks happy, she looks proud, she looks like a big fuckin' dead weight asshole has finally been kicked to the curb, thank God. There's a bounce in her that he hasn't seen in months, that he — and he would never say this out loud to anyone ever, not even their mom — worried she would never get back.

He loves her so much. He's going to vomit in all her shoes.

"Tell me everything," he demands, graciously letting her pull his suitcase out of his hands. "Did he cry? Tell me he cried."

David, whose relationship with Donnie overlapped the middle of The Brandon Saga, chooses this moment to start very loudly debating directions with the dark-haired guy he brought along. Donnie will give him the most platonic of high-fives for it later.

"Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy." Lark says airily, which means not here, not now. "How's it feel to have a big boy job, though?"

Donnie is a mature, upstanding, tax-paying adult and refrains from sticking his tongue out at his beloved twin sister. "I actually turned down Netflix to come do this dinky lil baking show with you, Birdie, so you better be fuckin' grateful."

"I've been blessed by your presence," Lark says immediately, bumping their shoulders together. "You should be on Netflix, by the way, it's total bullshit you're not. Like, I'm so glad we're doing this together, but—"

"No, you know what?" Donnie cuts in, giving her a little squeeze. "I'm excited about it. I'm taking a comedy sabbatical and I'm gonna do nothing but eat cupcakes and make you miserable on set and it's gonna be great. Netflix can eat my entire ass, honestly."

Ahead of them, David's friend snorts, breaking off the direction debate to walk backwards through the revolving door. Donnie is thoroughly impressed. "From what I heard, Netflix is more of a 'no lube no aftercare' kind of lover. Executiveth, you know? They jutht wanna fuck you over and then roll over and go to thleep." The guy eyes Donnie up and down in a way that makes him roll his shoulders back and stand up straighter. Lark what the fuck taps him in the ribs and he shut the fuck up bumps her knee. Sue him, he’s a disaster bi and weak to authoritative gazes. She knows this already. “Your work’th incredible, though, I thaw one of your thows a couple yearth ago and I wath crying laughing. If Netflix doethn’t want you, that’th their loth.”

Donnie responds in the only reasonable fashion: he fans a hand in front of his face and swoons heavily against Lark, who cheerfully ducks out from beneath his arm and lets him stumble into a trashcan. “Keep talking like that and we’re going right to the bathroom, stranger.” He purrs, and they laugh, clear and pleasant. “Normally I make people buy me dinner before rawdogging me in public, but I can always make an exception.”

David suddenly whirls around from where he'd been leading the procession, brows furrowed tightly behind his glasses. “I fully forgot y’all don’t know each other.” He says, like it’s inconceivable to exist in a world where his friends don’t all run in the same social circles.

Donnie shrugs and holds out a hand. "I just assumed you kidnapped someone with a bigger car, T-B-H. Donnie Frasier, he/him. What's up?"

The stranger takes his hand and shakes, but keeps a severe facial expression. "I'm actually airport polithe, I'm here to inthpect your luggage for ilithit thubthtanthes," they say seriously, holding Donnie's gaze for two, three, four beats before cracking a grin. "Ethan Thtone, altho he/him, head of wardrobe and rethident big car boy."

"Fuckin' rub it in," David mutters, and lets Ethan swat him.

"I don't wanna hear anything from the man who dethided to thqueeze hith theven-foot ath into a clown car." Ethan says, cementing his place as Donnie's new favorite. “Go be useful and get Karen, I wanna thmooze. My car,” he answers as Donnie’s opening his mouth to ask the question.

“Why?”

“Because she’s old and white and complains the entire time!” David yells over his shoulder, disappearing into the parking lot with Ethan’s keyring.

Ethan makes an affronted noise. “He’th thuch a jerk,” he mutters, but there’s something fond tugging at the corners of his mouth as he says it.

“He’s single, you know,” Donnie blurts out, because his mouth continues to move faster than his brain and they both continue to hate him. He lets Lark smack him in the arm with a gleeful “Donnie!” because yeah, fair.

Ethan goes bright red, and he laughs nervously. “Oh, uh — yeah, I know. We, uh, actually worked together while, uh, y’all were thtill — a thing? Tho, uh. I know. I jutht think he’s cute, though, I’m not trying to, like, move in on anything—”

“God, please,” Donnie laughs, patting Ethan on the back. “He’s my best friend, but like. That ship done sailed, my dude. No hard feelings over here if you wanna, y’know.”

“Mount. Climb aboard. Cast off.” Lark supplies helpfully, grinning gleefully as Ethan turns redder and redder with every word. “Thank fuck you’re here now, Ducky, I felt like I was losing my mind watching them try to flirt.”

“We weren’t flirting.” Ethan protests weakly. Lark raises an eyebrow at him. “Honetht! I’m a terrible flirt.”

“So’s David,” the twins say in unison. Ethan groans and buries his face in his hands, muttering something under his breath that might be “abtholutely fuck me”.

Lark ignores him. “I’ve been telling him that Davey is available, too, he kept insisting he didn’t want to make things weird with you coming onto the project—”

Donnie emphatically waves his hands. “Fuck no! I mean, I for sure wanna get some popcorn and watch the show, but, like, from the point-five seconds I’ve known you—”

“Yeth, pleathe, let’th talk credentialth,” Ethan says desperately.

“What? No.” Donnie says, gesturing at Ethan’s everything with a raised eyebrow. “You’re cute, you dress well, you like my jokes, you don’t let David intimidate you even though you like him, I trust you already. You’ll be great, I’m excited to work with you, blah blah blah. Like, feel free to stop me if you’re legit uncomfortable, but—”

“Remember what I said before, E?” Lark interrupts, patting Ethan’s back. “About Donnie being a professional meddler?”

Donnie nods in satisfaction. “I am a professional meddler. Please let me meddle, we’ll bond and become best friends and ruin David’s life. It’ll be so good.”

Ethan looks up at the sky. Donnie doesn’t know why; if anyone’s up there, they know better than to mess with Donnie Frasier when he’s on a mission. “If I thay yeth,” he says uncertainly, and the twins immediately swivel like sharks smelling blood. “Can we at leatht be thubtle about it?”

Lark winces, looking at her brother. “Tall order, Ducky. Think you can handle it?”

Donnie flips her off with one hand and holds out the other for Ethan to hesitantly shake. “Ethan Stone,” he says solemnly. “This is going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

Ethan still vaguely looks like he wants the earth to swallow him whole. “I mean it, though, I’m really a terrible flirt.”

Donnie looks at his sister. “Vibe check?”

“Drama club Peggy circa 2016.”

Donnie stares in horror. “Please tell me it’s not the same vibes.”

Lark claps three times. Donnie throws his head back and cackles. Ethan looks like he’s about two seconds away from climbing into the sewer and living his best ninja turtle life. “It’th not — I don’t even know what that meanth, I’m not, like — thtop — thtop laughing, I’m theriouth—” But he’s grinning despite himself, because Donnie’s never once been able to hold a mildly uncomfortable conversation with someone without making them laugh, and he’s not about to break his streak now with all these fancy new TV people to impress.

“Ethan,” Donnie sighs, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes and slinging an arm over his new best friend’s shoulders. “I’m going to hook you guys up so hard. I cannot wait.”

A white Toyota pulls up in front of them, hazards on, and David climbs out of the driver’s side, half-jogging over to grab Donnie’s bags and shove ‘em in the trunk. “Everything okay?” He asks, mostly to Ethan, who’s beginning to match the color of the beret David used to wear in college. Donnie wonders if Ethan knows about the beret. Donnie desperately needs Ethan to know about the beret.

“Fine,” he and Ethan say at the same time, in wildly different tones of voice.

David gives Donnie A Look. “What are you doing to my wardrobe head?”

“Irreversibly changing the course of your lives,” Donnie says cheerfully, rubbing Ethan’s shoulder.

“Fucking delightful.” David sighs, rolling his eyes. “C’mon, I wanna get back to the hotel by five and you’ve still got a shitload of people to meet. Do not let Donnie bully you into anything you don’t wanna do,” he says to Ethan, just loud enough that Donnie can reasonably make a comment about it.

And he will. “You’ll thank me for this one day, boyos.” He says haughtily, and Lark laughs loudly, shoving him into the backseat of the Toyota and climbing in after him. She squeezes his hand hard as they’re settling in: I missed you. He squeezes back and grins at her. Missed you more.

David buckles himself into the driver’s seat and meets his gaze in the rearview mirror. “As long as you keep whatever shenanigans you’re planning off Jay and Alexa’s radars, I’ll do whatever you want, dude, I don’t give a single shit.”

Lark pulls out her phone to text someone. “Kinky,” she comments, grinning as David sputters in the front seat. “In front of Ethan and the entire airport and God, too? Fuck it up, my guy.”

“I’m in hell.” David deadpans, and pulls out towards the airport exit.

#HAP BIRTH OTTO I LOVE YOU #this is. not the last of mh gbbo au there is More To Come #im also using this opportunity to fix everything wrong with gbbo I Can Run It Better #also the rundown is: lark and fox are judges. donnie and mags are hosts. david and jaimey are producers.#ethan is wardrobe. juno is hair/makeup. alexa is floor manager/director. toby is social media manager. brandon is in jail where he belongs #this is a brandon hate account first and foremost #i might toss in various other vague MH ocs as crew and/or bakers we'll see how it goes #also might toss in Us as crew and/or bakers we'll see how it goes #ANYWAY IM SORRY THIS WAS LATE I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ANYWAY I GIVE YOU A GENTLE SMORCH AND ESCAPE INTO THE NIGHT #gonna go do my own baking bc i promised my mom mini hand held apple pies like 3 days ago and i failed to deliver. so.#movie house #gbbo au #all of them #shut up phoenix

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