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thran-duils · 3 years

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alt storyline

Per a couple requests, this is the other chapter I had started writing for Lost in Zero Gravity. It would not have ended the story and just added to the angst. And like I said, I felt we were all deserving of some (bittersweet) happiness for an ending. 😘 It is not a complete chapter since I stopped writing (and it is more than 1,200 words like I said on the other chapter, whoops. Almost 1,600).

I am done writing the story but am willing to share this!

Tony had been acting more distant as the weeks passed. He had even let you go to a doctor appointment without him, much to your immense shock. That was the moment you knew for sure that something was up. Steve had looked stunned as well seeing you walk in alone and you did not miss the brief look of satisfaction when you told him Tony was busy. He was in good spirits, coercing you to go next door so he could at least buy you lunch. Daryl was there, so you accepted since he was going to be sitting with you. Afterward, Steve had offered you a ride home, but you turned him down, leaving with Daryl.

As time went on after that, Tony was staying away for longer spans of days and when he was there, he was standoffish. He slept in the bed, but he brushed off your advances more often than not, telling you he did not want to “tussle the baby”. You had tried to say sex was perfectly fine during pregnancy, but he was firm. The nights he was not there, the bed was cold, and you were lonely. You wondered where he was. To you, there were only two options: He was either reconciling with Alessia or he had found another.

You were in your seventh month, and you cradled your stomach, sitting on the patio in the setting sun. It was getting to be unbearably hot, and the pregnancy made it even worse. You had AC inside, but you wanted fresh air, even if it meant sweltering in the August heat. The sweating was doing nothing to help lift your mood either. You found yourself alone again and when you had texted Tony asking if he was going to come over, he had responded not tonight. You felt miserable for yourself, sniffling every so often.

He had voiced his opposition to the situation from the beginning. He would not touch your stomach and you feared that it was what was driving the wedge between the two of you. You were not the fun side piece anymore, you were pregnant. That was not sexy, especially not with another man’s child.

Maybe this would cause you to be free of Tony too.

And that thought made you scared. Birth was not far off and after that, then what? If Tony was moving on and Steve was off with his child and his wife, where did that leave you? The apartment would be gone soon. You had no money of your own since you had not been allowed to work ever since this arrangement came into motion. And Steve was not giving you the money you owed him, he was just writing off the debt. And how would you work that out with Tony on his end for what you owed him? What if Tatiana would not take you back? You had caused a lot of stress for her. And you were not sure you even wanted to go back to the escort business.

Tears stung your eyes. This is exactly why you had not wanted any of this in the first place.

Later in the night, you were sitting on the couch, staring at nothing, still lost to your intrusive thoughts. The console had long since turned off after inactivity and you were sitting there in silence, eyes watery.

Running your thumb over the screen of your phone, you held it tight, just begging yourself for the strength to not do what you were thinking.

But the loneliness got the better of you.

“Y/N? Is something wrong? It’s late,” Steve answered sounding worried.

“No... no nothing’s wrong. With the baby,” you said, sniffling.

“What’s going on?”

You chewed on your bottom lip, caressing your abdomen. What the hell were you doing?

“Nothing. I’m sorry for calling so late. Goodnight,” you told him quickly before hanging up.

He was calling you back instantly and you sighed heavily, clutching the phone. He knew something was wrong and he was not going to let it go. You answered him.

“Y/N?” He questioned when you did not answer straight away.

“I’m here,” you said quietly.

“What is going on?” he repeated more forcibly. You shrugged even though he could not see you. “Do you need something?”

Your vision blurred as tears stung your eyes, your heart tugging at how concerned he sounded. “I’m lonely,” you whispered pathetically as some tears escaped.

“Where’s Tony?”

“Not here,” you admitted tearfully. “Again.”

You heard Steve sigh from the other end of the phone.

“I hate being this person, but I did tell you, dove. He has the attention span of a goldfish. I’m honestly surprised he lasted as long as he did.”

You looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop the well of tears but it did not help. You sniffled again, wiping at your eyes.

“I know you did,” you whispered.

“You want me to come over?”

Your heart pounded. Was that what you wanted? Really? He was willing to do it, sounding eager too; he had not hid that undertone completely. You wanted company. You wanted touch. And he was the father... your mind flashed to your doctor appointments where he seemed to cherish touching your stomach, his face alight.

“Yes,” you said hoarsely.

<><><>

Steve got up quickly from bed, going to his closet to put some clothes on. He was grinning. That stupid bastard had done exactly what Steve had expected him to do and he had pushed Y/N right back to him. He knew Tony was going to get jealous the more he was faced with seeing Steve’s child growing and Tony was the poster child for self-destructive behavior. Steve had played the long game and it looked like it was paying off.

As he left the closet, he barely spared a glance at the empty side where Cecile’s clothes used to be.

<><><>

Steve walked into the apartment past you, and you closed the door behind him. His eyes were wandering over the layout. You were watching him closely, still disbelieving of yourself that you had allowed him to come over. His eyes landed on you again and he cracked a small smile. “Well, I will say, I was shocked to learn how close you were to Tony’s.”

“Me too.”

“Not your choice then?” Steve asked and you shook your head in confirmation. He made a small noise of acknowledgment before he moved further into the apartment, and you followed. Luna jumped up on one of the island barstools and meowed at him. He smirked, “Haven’t forgotten me then?” He reached out giving her a small scratch behind the ears.

“It’s certainly more Victorian than the last place. Not usually the taste I would think Tony would choose. He’s usually so sleek. But since it’s closer and he was keeping you away, seems well enough. It is a beautiful layout in a nice neighborhood. I’m glad he kept you safe in that way. And the little one, of course. Just making sure the both of you are doing alright and safe is what’s important.”

Steve turned to you when you didn’t respond and he saw you clenching your jaw, tears brimming. He exhaled softly, “Oh, dove.”

<><><>

Tony grabbed his slacks off the carpet and tugged them on over his boxer briefs.

“You’re not staying?” Yanira asked from behind him on the bed. She was still wrapped up in the sheets.

“No,” Tony chuckled, shooting her a look. “Did I stay last time?”

“No,” she answered him, looking slightly out off by his attitude. “But... I would like it if you would.”

She was pretty enough. He had slept with her once before and had gotten a whiff of desperation about her. After a couple other one-night stands, he had circled back, thinking the sex was worth the risk of her being potentially clingy. It had been good, but he was not going to do this a third time. Not with the way she was trying to get him to stay. The clingy feeling was not a potential anymore, it was a reality. It was not attractive and furthermore, a third time would indicate something serious, and he did not want to give off that vibe. This was strictly casual.

He was using a different escort service than Tatiana’s, not wanting to potentially order a girl who happened to know Y/N and would tell Elisha and then Elisha would tell Y/N. He did not want that mess. As soon as Y/N was done with this business with Steve, everything would go back to normal.

Tony snatched his dress shirt off the ground and threw it around his shoulders. “I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go.”

He heard her sigh, and he rolled his eyes, his back to her. He buttoned up his shirt quickly and finished dressing himself. Snatching his cell phone off the side table, he froze seeing he had a missed call and a text from Wylan.

“Is Mr. Rogers supposed to be here? He said Y/N called him?”

Tony opened his phone to see if he had any missed texts from Y/N but there was nothing past when he had told her he was not coming tonight.

<><><>

Tony walked into the apartment and found Steve coming down the hallway.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Tony snarled.

“I was coming for water,” Steve said in an eerily calm voice. “Can you keep it down? Y/N is finally sleeping.”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics @agustdowney @fanofalltheficsx @buttercandy16 @last-saturday-night @woohoney

#my shit #fic update #tony stark x reader #steve rogers x reader #dark tony stark #dark steve rogers

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silver-lily-louise · 4 years

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Keep Up - a Shadowhunters fanfic

Summary: This isn’t ‘the old days’. Tonight, she’s a little tipsy, and she’s standing in the home of two people she loves more than life itself. Tonight, she’s had enough. At a New Year’s Eve party in Alicante, Maryse runs into a few familiar faces from the Lightwood-Branwell wedding-that-never-was, and sets the record straight.

A/N: Hi! I read THIS piece by @alecmagnuslwb, and had a thought: what if all four of Robert and Maryse’s kids were queer? And what if they all chose Downworlders? Which led to this - so please enjoy Maryse owning her character development, and defending the extended family she has learned to love and wouldn’t trade for the world. <3

Read on AO3, or below!

~oOo~

Magnus knows how to throw a party. Maryse has known this longer than she’s been able to admit it, ever since the one he organised for Max’s rune ceremony years ago. The walls echo softly with laughter and chatter, the buffet is full of enough variety to make things interesting whilst also offering guests some time-honoured favourites, and the music is a gentle hum in the background – present, but never loud enough to make conversing difficult.

Which is probably why Maryse hears a few familiar voices, their disdain discordant against the calm, joyful atmosphere. ‘Of course, I’m not against it, per se-‘ ‘No, of course not. But trust me, I understand the… hesitation.’ ‘As do I, honestly. What people do in private is one thing, but in positions of leadership… Our politics rely on tradition, that’s how we stay on course.’ ‘Yes, yes, exactly.’ The last voice lowers, continuing in a murmur. ‘Personally… -icante even needs… -rlock.’

Maryse turns with a slight frown, and has the misfortune of meeting eyes with the source of the discontent. ‘Maryse!’ Sophia exclaims, and Maryse suppresses a groan as the short, blonde woman moves towards her, leaning in to press an air kiss to each cheek. ‘Oh, it’s been an age,’ she says, linking arms once more with her brick house of a husband, Jeremiah, and poorly concealing the pity in her eyes as her gaze scans over Maryse’s de-runed arms and neck. ‘It has,’ Maryse agrees, managing not to cringe under the quiet, condescending scrutiny. ‘When was the last time we were all together?’ Probably some dry political event or another, she thinks. These four, at least in her eyes, are the kind of people you only invite to something when you need to keep the peace; when their departments are going to be overseeing a factor of one of your projects, or when you’re about to need a favour from them. Of course, it’s possible Magnus and Alec invited them for their scintillating company, but she rather doubts it.

‘It was at the, uh… wedding,’ Colin says, chiming in as he and Erica wander over. Well, that certainly makes sense. Alec’s almost-wedding to Lydia was very much a political affair. ‘You know,’ Erica says, almost conspiratorially, her pity only a little better-concealed than Sophia’s, ‘we were so sorry to hear about your de-runing, Maryse – weren’t we, dear? Especially after it came so soon after… well. The wedding.’ ‘Still,’ Jeremiah adds, ‘despite all of that, your eldest has managed to do… surprisingly well for himself. That must be some comfort.’

And in the old days, Maryse would have reluctantly agreed with them, ‘forgiving’ Alec simply to avoid dragging the family name any further through the mud. Even after Max’s ceremony, when Magnus stopped her son tumbling from the roof and she began to realise how wrong she’d been about Downworlders, she probably would have laughed off her doubt in such company – waxed lyrical about being the mother of the Inquisitor, focusing on her pride and stifling the mental turmoil until she was once again in private.

But this isn’t the old days. Tonight, she’s a little tipsy – even after all this time, she forgets how quickly champagne affects a Mundane body – and she’s standing in the home of two people she loves more than life itself. Even from here, she can see the warded doorway behind which baby Max is sleeping. Tonight, she’s had enough.

‘Yes,’ she says breezily, locking eyes with Jeremiah. ‘My eldest has done well for himself, hasn’t he? I mean, as if inventing the portal, banishing Asmodeus from this plane, sealing the rift above Idris and saving the world wasn’t enough, he’s now the first ever High Warlock of Alicante? Oh, yes, I’m unspeakably proud of him. What mother wouldn’t be?’

Jeremiah’s eyes widen in surprise, but Sophia titters a laugh. ‘Ah, well – yes, of course, but we actually meant – ‘ ‘Oh – my second eldest?’ Maryse interrupts, and when Sophia nods, she tilts her head in mock confusion. ‘Hm. Well, Meliorn didn’t tell me about any promotion – as I understand it, his position in the Seelie Queen’s guard is fairly high-ranking as it is – oh, unless you mean the union ceremony? I didn’t know you’d heard about that. It was beautiful, though, yes. He makes Jace and Clary so happy.’

The small group in front of her is growing steadily more wary, but she carries on, because if there’s one thing she knows it’s how to hold the floor and make a point. ‘Of course, if you didn’t hear about the ceremony, that means you were likely referring to Alec. And you’d be right again, obviously. Becoming Inquisitor, fighting for lasting changes to outdated traditions, now fatherhood – he truly goes from strength to strength, has done ever since he was a boy. I’m so proud of the example he sets for the others, especially as he handed down the position of Head of the New York Institute to Isabelle. She’s now doing wonderful work alongside her girlfriend, the current Alpha of the local werewolf pack, and their boyfriend, the first Daylighter in Angel-knows-how-many years. I can only hope Max goes on to follow in their footsteps, standing strong in whichever path he chooses to take – he and the person he’s seeing would be here tonight, of course, but Rowan was only turned recently. It takes time to build up the kind of effortless control our dear Maia exhibits, and understandably, they didn't want to risk transforming at a party full of drunk Shadowhunters.’

Maryse steps forward, and although the couples in front of her are too politically savvy to show weakness by stepping back, she relishes the spark of caution in their eyes, the unease she’s brought them to so easily. ‘I’m not such a fool that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to think how you think,’ she says, dropping the airs and graces. ‘The Angel knows I’ve done my share of harm in the name of tradition. But times are changing, and speaking from personal experience? I’d advise you to keep up. I have nine children now – and one day I may have even more, if Max decides to share his life with anyone. And I am so, so proud of each and every one of them. If you plan on accepting my family’s hospitality in the future, you’d do well to remember that.’ She smirks, raising her glass in a mock toast, finishing her champagne as quiet settles over their little bubble of conversation.

No, she realises – over the whole room. Because the only noise now is the gentle music in the background and the odd murmur, and a quick glance confirms her sudden suspicion; almost everyone in the room is looking at her, apparently enraptured by her speech.

Her eyes catch on a few particularly important faces in the crowd. Alec just looks stunned, while Izzy’s eyes are watering, her lips curved slightly in a trembling smile. She’s holding Maia’s hand tightly, her grip returned even as Maia flattens her mouth into a straight line, her eyes dancing with amusement. She’s hiding it much better than Jace, though – he lets out a snort, quickly covering his mouth and pretending to cough.

Magnus appears then, the image of an in-control host as he waves a hand and a dull flash sparks over the buffet table, replacing the savoury food with gelato, tiramisu, and various other sweet treats. ‘Everyone, please help yourselves to dessert,’ he says. ‘Oh, and keep an eye on the time – midnight fast approaches!’

The tension in the room breaks as people start moving with interest towards the food, or turn back to their dancing and conversation. Magnus, for his part, sweeps back to rejoin Alec – but not before laying a hand gently on Maryse’s arm, flashing her a small smile and a glimpse of golden eyes. She smiles in return, marvelling slightly at how what was once a show of intimidation is now one of trust.

Turning away, she spots Luke across the room, once again talking to Raphael and Simon, and begins to make a beeline for them. She’s sure they’ll make for far better company than certain others she’s talked to this evening.

~oOo~

#shadowhunters #shtv #shadowhunters fanfic #shs #maryse lightwood #malec #jace x clary x meliorn #izzy x maia x simon #maryse x luke #alcohol tw #food mention #implied homophobia #implied racism #suicide mention #mine

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boygirlz · 7 years

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rant lota shit

!! i dunno who i am anymore or if anything truly matters or even exists ive completely lost sight of myself it feels like my life is being lived by someone else feels like im just following guidelines of who i think im supposed to be or watching a movie and ! the nightmares have come back full force not a night goes by without them haha i cant discern them from reality anymore and it’s destroying my sleeping schedule i think about my dad and to a lesser extent my ex-fp more than i have in years and things are getting bad again and i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel or hope anymore everything is just muffled and passing me by i feel like ill never get better because it’s been years and i thought i was finally doing well and for no reason im,, dying all the time i just wish someone could tell me what’s wrong with me give me a name to it pls pls just tell me why im like this i can’t remember so many things icant remember what happened to me and it’s eating me alive why am i so fucked up i don’t feel like a person i never feel like a real person or a human i just cant function what’s WRONG with me why can’t i just live life like a decent fucking human being im useless and hopeless and.. there’s no future for me i’ll die before im 25 peace out

#toe bee #trauma #uhh #idk #actually cptsd #cptsd

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judool · 5 years

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i miss my best friend. i miss her a lot. it’s not that she died or anything, but everything about our friendship crumbled and turned to dust when i moved away. i always felt bad about it. she was the only friend to show up at my old house at 5 am before we left. i dont know how i didnt cry but it broke my heart watching her walk back home from my house as the moving truck drove away. i didnt cry back then, but the memory is making me cry now because it just hurts. i dont know where it went wrong. the first few times icame back to visit my dad was fine. she’d come get me from his house (45 minutes away) and we’d drive back to our neighborhood and have a good time hanging out and talking. and then after that it felt like i was a burden. id text her and try to set something up for next time. it always seemed like something convenient would happen to where we couldnt hang out. where id just be stuck at my dad’s for 3 weeks straight. my other friends dropped me instantly when i moved, like i never really mattered to them in the first place. and maybe i didnt. i always had to butt my way in to conversations and practically invite myself to the things they did. maybe they never really liked me all along and they just tolerated me. but my best friend was always there. she’d been there for me since were we 5.

we were close. people always thought we were sisters. we even bought the same swimsuit on accident one year without telling each other. she was one of the first people i told when i got my period. her parents treated me like i was their second daughter too. i could always walk into their house unannounced and nobody minded. my own mom also treated her like a second daughter. my dad was always an asshole to her though and i will always resent him for it. i was always at her house every weekend. it was my escape. our friendship was my escape. the fights my parents had with each other didnt matter when icould leave and go a block away to her house. i spent every weekend there. we’d run around the entire neighborhood, even finding a secret broken fence that we could go through and nearly be right by the interstate. i remember being so sad one halloween when her parents bought her a sakura cosplay costume and i couldnt convince my parents to get me an ino one. i wish i would have forced myself to go out on the last halloween i spent there even though i was sick. i didnt know it would be my last.

ill never forget all the stupid youtube videos we watched on her dad’s computer in the basement. all the shitty youtube poops and cringy naruto chatrooms. or all the time we spent talking on the phone during the airing of new naruto episodes, or while we played animal crossing. my dad always yelled at me for being on the home phone so often but i didntcare.

i miss her so much but she changed an awful lot after i moved. i wonder if i would have changed like her if i stayed. i wonder if i would have gotten arrested for smoking weed in her car with her. i wonder if i could have kept her out of trouble. i dont know. all the times i went up to my dad’s, he always asked if i would be seeing her and i never knew. even though id try to plan with her months in advance, something always magically came up last second. so i just stopped trying. i stopped telling her when i would show up, since it wouldnt matter anyways. it just felt like i was nothing. it still feels like im nothing. part of me wonders if she felt relief when my dad died. i wonder if she was relieved that i wouldnt have a reason to visit anymore. a reason to bother her. the last time i went up was for my step grandad’s 100th birthday. i tried making plans with her months in advance, and magically the day before she has to take her mom to a doctor’s appointment.

i didnt know what i was expecting. i wasnt surprised. i felt bad asking my mom to take me and my bf to the zoo, but she had an old friend who lived near in that area so she said it was fine. i still felt like a burden. i felt like shit and i felt stupid in believing that anything had changed. we even went back to my old neighborhood and drove around. we drove past her house too, and my mom asked if i wanted to see if she was home. i just told her no. she never asked about it, but i think she knew that i was done. i was tired. a friendship of almost 10 years just. gone. like that.

i know i shouldnt miss her because in the end, she probably stopped caring about me. but god it fucking hurts. everything about it hurts. i miss her. i miss all the fun we’d have during the summer, or during breaks from school. i miss trick or treating with her. i miss running around the neighborhood with her. i wholly believed she was my platonic soulmate, and then my parents got divorced and i moved away and everything just crumbled like sand between my fingers. i just hurts and i dont know what to do about it. my head is a jumbled mess and i have so many regrets and intrusive thoughts about ever leaving. it keeps me up at night and it haunts me. among other things, but it feels like a stab to the chest every time. the memories are there but they feel like they’re from a lifetime ago. they feel like they’re from someone else that wasnt me. i just want to stop thinking about it and stop remembering it all so i can stop feeling regret and stop feeling so shitty but i cant. i cant stop my brain wont let me. evyerthing is just crumbling down and i cant stop it. i bet my dad would still be alive too if i stayed. i would have gotten onto his ass about his health. even through all the pain he caused my mom and the horrible financial situations he put us in because of his drinking habit and car habit he didnt deserve to die and i hate it. i hate it and i hate that my brother had to be up there and deal with it all because he was so young an ddidnt deserve it. he was only 14 and he saw his own dad dead on the hospital bed and there was nothing he could do. i thought i could trust my dad’s girlfriend but she was a bitch and she let him die she let him die and i cant forgive her she’s a nurser she should have known heart attack signs and called 911 right awya instead of waiting. she killed him and icant ever forgive her and i hope she gets what she deserves.

god this is devolving really quick and i cant sotp it im so sorry i cant i jsut need to get this out because my brain jsut wont stop and i cant stop thinking i cant stop crying i just want to stop existing for a while. but i dont want to die because i have too many people i care about anf theyd be so sad so i have to sstay. nobody online would know what happened and i cnat do that to them i lvoe them all so much. im sorry this is getting really bad i just wanted to get my thoughts out there and it turned into a mess. ill be okay i always am so please odnt worry im just. really really. i dont even know how to describe it.

i dont think i m going to be able to sleep well tonight but i have to go and try it’s alreayd so late

#kou bitches #negative #negative tw #really really negative #im sor sorry #i jsut wnated to rwrite my thoughts down because i jsut feel so weighed down and it got relaly bad #im okay i promsie im justnot in a good brain state #i didnt want to bother thr group chat with this and like nobody follwoes me here #im sor ry #death mention #death tw #i dont know how to tag this #long post #i tri3d to readmore it and i hope itbworks for people

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fictionalrat · 7 years

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let it happen | chapter two

pairing: klance

sneak a peek:

“Lance, don’t freak out, but��” Keith adjusts his glasses, “I might have an idea.”

Lance huffs, “Don’t strain yourself.”

Keith scowls, “Shut up and hear me out, asshole.”

“Okay,” Lance leans back on his chair and crosses his arms, “I’ll bite.”

“I think we should…” Keith snaps the rubber band on his wrist, “Uhm, fuck?”

read on ao3

“Lance?” He hears when he clicks the door shut with his foot. He whips his head around to find Keith at the dinner table hugging his right leg to his chest, foot on the chair and knee tucked under his chin. He’s frowning deeply at his laptop screen like it’s offending him in some way, his glasses perched on the edge of his nose. Keith looks so damn adorable Lance’s heart almost leaps out of his chest. Fucked, Lance’s fucked.

“Yep, that’s me,” Lance responds, throwing his keys on the kitchen island and kicking off his shoes.

Keith peers up at him over the rim of his glasses. “Come here for a sec,” he nudges the chair next to him with his bare foot. Lance stares at Keith. Hm, weird. Keith narrows his eyes when he doesn’t move. Oh. Right, moving. Yep, on it. He pads towards his friend.

Lance smiles at Keith, hip-checking the table and reaching his arm forward to adjust the shorter man’s glasses with his knuckles gently, “You need to get these fixed, shorty.”

Keith bats his hand away and scowls, “Sit.”

Lance chuckles but acquiesces, “Seriously, it’s too loose.” As if on cue, Keith’s glasses slide down his nose again. Lance snorts, “Told you.”

Keith socks him on the arm, hard, “Shut up.”

“Ow, so mean!” Lance pouts as he rubs his arm, “What do you want from me, anyway?”

Keith adjusts himself on the chair, tucking his left foot under his right thigh, and turns his laptop towards Lance so he can see his own words staring back at him. “This won’t do,” Keith says seriously as he pushes his glasses back with his middle finger.

Lance drums his fingers on the table. “What?”

“Lance, this isn’t working.”

Lance’s fingers freeze, his brows rising, “What do you mean this isn’t working??”

“I mean…” he deadpans, “I can’t edit this, it’s total bullshit. There’s no hope.”

Lance bristles, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, KEITH????”

Keith snickers, “Maybe a little?”

Lance throws his head back and glares in exasperation at the ceiling, bringing his hands up to cover his face and groaning, “God, please, take me now.” After a moment, he lets his hands fall back on the table. “You know,” he starts, turning his head back so he can glower at Keith properly, “If you weren’t so good at editing and I wasn’t so desperate, I wouldn’t even think of asking you to do this for me, ‘cause you’re a serious fucking prickly pain in my fucking miserable ass.”

Keith smirks and shrugs, “Thanks.”

Lance splutters, “THAT WASN’T A COMPLIMENT.”

Keith doesn’t respond, though, he just stares at Lance in a weird way. A very, very weird way.

Lance touches his face, self-conscious, “Is there something on my-”

“Huh,” Keith blurts out, interrupting Lance.

“Keith?” Lance questions with a frown, worrying for his friend’s sanity.

“Sorry,” Keith blinks at him and blushes.

Lance squints, “Dude, what the fuck.”

“Lance, don’t freak out, but…” Keith adjusts his glasses, “I might have an idea.”

Lance huffs, “Don’t strain yourself.”

Keith scowls, “Shut up and hear me out, asshole.”

“Okay,” Lance leans back on his chair and crosses his arms, “I’ll bite.”

“I think we should…” Keith snaps the rubber band on his wrist, “Uhm, fuck?”

Lance chokes on his own spit and coughs so hard his chair almost topples over.

“Are you okay, Lance?” Keith asks, his voice concerned but amused.

“Fuck?” Lance croaks after some time, slapping his chest and blinking away tears.

“Yeah,” Keith’s mouth twitches. “For research, obviously.”

Lance can only gape at Keith, his chest heaving. Lance’s lungs are burning so, so bad.

“Look, I’ll be straight with you,“ Keith runs his fingers through his FUGLY mullet, “your writing style’s actually pretty decent. You’re eloquent, I’ll give you that. But you suck at writing sex scenes… maybe from lack of experience?” Keith teases, then winces when Lance kicks his shin under the table.

Is this guy for fucking serious? They should fuck? What kind of joke is this?

“No, but seriously.” Keith insists, “Even though the sex scenes are well-written, they lack passion, which is kind of a surprise coming from you. You clearly need some inspiration and I think being actually in character might really help, is all.”

“AND BY THAT YOU MEAN THE TWO OF US FUCKING???”

Keith bites his bottom lip in amusement and nods. He doesn’t tease, which is a first. Lance is thankful but still.

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lance yells in disbelief, then takes a deep, recomposing breath. “Okay. So uh, let me get this straight… you think we should fuck this one out?”

Keith shrugs again, “I mean, if you want to.”

“Huh.” Lance’s mouth twitches, “That’s crazy but okay.”

“What?”

Lance rolls his eyes and waves him off, “I said fine, Keith. Let’s do this.”

Keith smirks, turning his attention back to his laptop. Lance stares at the side of his face then chuckles. “Gotta say, though,” Lance leers, “I didn’t know you wanted to fuck me this bad, mullet head.”

“SHUT UP!” Keith pushes Lance off his chair.

Lance can’t fucking sleep.

He tries playing dead for a while and when that doesn’t work, he settles upon changing positions back and forth.

He kicks off the sheets in frustration, takes his shirt off, turns to his side, rolls on his stomach, burrows his face into his pillow. Props himself up on his elbows and huffs, lies back down. Flips his pillow over and presses his face to the cool fabric.

It doesn’t work.

He rolls on his back and lets his eyes dart around the room as he taps his chest with his thumbs, chewing on his bottom lip.

Nothing fucking works.

He blinks up at the ceiling and blows a raspberry.

“i think we should… uhm, fuck?” he mimics under his breath.

Fucking Keith.

God, he can’t do this.

He reaches for his phone on his nightstand and brings the device closer to his face, adjusting himself on the bed. He unlocks the phone and almost drops it right on his face in agony because, wow, such brightness. He turns down the brightness on his screen and blinks several times before tapping open his messages with Hunk.

He starts typing furiously.

Lance (2:06 a.m.)

HUNK U UP

HUNK HUNK

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNKKKK

HELP

Hunk (2:08 a.m.)

why hello lance my good buddy how are you?

i’m fine thanks for asking ure so kind

what can i do for you this alarmingly late???

Lance (2:10 a.m.)

I CANR SLEEP HUNK HELP

HEPL ME

IM GONNA DIE

KEITHS A SERIAL KILLER AND HES COMING AFTER ME WITH HIS DICK

KEITHS GONNA KILL ME WITH HIS DICKKKKKKKKK

Hunk (2:13 a.m.)

i think ure overreacting a bit lance

calm down and explain this to me like a normal human being

breathe in

breathe out

Lance (2:14 a.m.)

ICANT HUNK H

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hunk (2:17 a.m.)

i still need an explanation

please cUT THE DRAMATICS

IM GETTING REAL WORRIED HERE AND YOU KNOW WHAT WORRYING DOES TO MY STOMACH!!!!!!!

ITS NOT PRETTY LANCE SO SPILL

Lance (2:18 a.m.)

EW GROSS

but okay

fucking keith came up with this fucking INSANE idea that we should FUCK

HE SAID WE SHOULD FUCK HUNK cuz my sex scenes were like AWFUL and he thought that was a brilliant idea HE SAID I LACK EXPERIENCE THE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN U BELIEVE THE NERVE????? and i went with it cuz i HAVE THE MORAL DUTY to prove him wrong and now im gonna die

okay get this

this is the weirdest part

its not only cuz i gotta prove him wrong but cuz i kinda wanna fuck the bastard for my own self-indulging and impure reasons

Hunk (2:23 a.m.)

lance not even rover thinks thats weird and hes a DOG

Lance (2:24 a.m.)

IMHYPERVENTILATING HERE AND URE MAKING FUN OF ME

URE A TERRIBLE BEST FRIEND

TERRIBLE I TELL U

IM HAVING A CRISIS HERE HUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

HES SO HOT HUNK HELP ME I CANT DO THIS

IM GONNA DIE

RIP LANCE

Hunk (2:26 a.m.)

lance youre not gonna die

jesus

i thought this was serious

Lance (2:27 a.m.)

GASP

it IS SERIOUS HUNK CANT U SEE IM A DEAD MAN WALKING?????? THIS IS PRETTYFUCKIGN SERIOUs HUNK

at first i thought i could do it but then i started thinking about it and now IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT HELP HUNK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hunk (2:29 a.m.)

calm down lance its just keith

its not like he’s gonna make fun of you or anything

Lance (2:30 a.m.)

HUNK???????? DID U HIT UR HEAD OR SOMETHING???? SHOULD I BE WORRIED????? CALL AN AMBULANCE??????? ITS FUCKING KEITH WERE TALKING ABOUT DUDE!!!! MISTER MCMULLET CAPTAIN GRUMPY PANTS!!!!!!!

Hunk (2:33 a.m.)

well i mean not too much???

Lance (2:33 a.m.)

hUNK!!!!!!!

Hunk (2:34 a.m.)

okay you got me

youre never gonna live this down good luck man

it was nice knowing you

Lance (2:35 a.m.)

well thanks

for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Hunk (2:35 a.m.)

you know i love you bro

seriously tho

you dont have to worry about this too much

keiths your friend after all isnt he

not to mention hes a cool bean, a real gem

do you trust him?

Lance (2:36 a.m.)

well duh i wouldnt be living with the guy if i didnt

Hunk (2:39 a.m.)

there it is

he knows all about your weird fixations and habits and is still there

thats gotta count for something right???

its not like hes gonna judge for real

hes just gonna tease the hell outta you which is normal behavior for him

and youll tease him right back

so DONT WORRY LANCE GO

BE BRAVE MY CHILD

CONQUER THAT BOOTY!!!!!!!

COMPLETE YOUR QUEST!!!!!!!!!

Lance (2:42 a.m.)

ohmy GOD hunk ure so embarrassing

thanks tho

for real

Hunk (2:42 a.m.)

anytime ;)

Lance (2:43 a.m.)

Lance sighs, turns on his side only to place his phone back on his nightstand, then rolls on his stomach, burying his face deep in his pillow. He closes his eyes and wills himself to fucking sleep.

About thirty minutes later, he’s out.

#klance #keith #lance #klance fic #voltron fic #voltron #vld #hunk #my stuff #keith x lance

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br3adnbutterfly · 7 years

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Wow i cant believe july is over with these past 3 weeks just rocketed by. Now its time to focus on me & working and saving some money. Lately my intution is insane. constatly thinking about someone and they call. or think about something and it happens .. sometimes i even try to cancel out my bad thoughts because sometimes those come true too . its kind of creepy. Im starting to believe in this red string theory.. We are connected to certain peoples spririts.. icant explain it but there is this person that is in my life that ive never felt this kind of way about.. i cant even explain it and. Well, they are in my life but at a far. not like they once were at all but they are still there, and i can literally feel them. i can feel their energy, and their pain. sometimes i cant sleep.. and i cant get rid of my thoughts of them, even after months have past. & the day we met i wrote in here that i think i had met my soulmate. but ive learned that we have SO many soulmates they say. But there are also twin flames, special deep rooted conections that go past this lifetime. many moons together" they say. WHen you feel like youve known someone your entire life, its very possible that you may have . :P but anyway, my thoughts and feeligns dont change reality and . ive accepted it for what it is right now. sigh idk when i became such a puss. i usto love being a man eater, this is actually the first time like ever that im not talking to ANYONE. not even a flirt, if i had to call up a guy too watch a movie with i would have no clue who to call. kind of refreshing ... kind of pathetic lol i am like ready to find my other half, like seriously i know my best friend, partner in crime, like boyfriend who is gonna mosh, dance, rage, adventure, explore, inspire, kiss and love me and be accepting of me and all my intense love. I KNOW HES OUT THEREEEEEE...... i dont wanna get any older without him :( there so much adventuring to be done! - its saturday night and im sitting here in my bed with nothign to do .. im actually so tired and i have to work tomorrow ;* WORKING SUNDAY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. fuhwrugeughesughsue i will just continue to sit here and take dabs til i pass out

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badatusernames · 7 years

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i cant fuck up again i cant fuck up gain i cant i cant i cant i cant icant icant i cant i cant ic an i cnat fucking do it i cant live with myself if i ruin everything again why do i always sabotage every good thing in my life i barely leave the house i dont eat i dont fucking sleep well i dont do anything righgt i barely try at all anymore so why is it that i still maange to fuck up so much im just dragging everything down and our family is suffering so much and i just sit there and do NOTHING like the fucking failure i am this is jsut a stupid joke everything in my life is a fucking stupid joke thinking i can get back on track again and again its like dangling a carrot on a string in front of a pig its just pathetic and mean and would be better off just not happening to begin with i ask why people abandon me but for christs sake i either deserved it and drove them off with this stupid sad bullshit or i did it to myself and ostracized myself for things that werent even real becasue no matter what i do i cant escape my problesm when the problem is ME. i thought things were going to be okay i thought i would be happy maybe i was trying so fucking hard and i wasnt even breaking down as much as i used to i thought it would be okay and i wouldnt have to be this deplorable fucking attention whore that cant even do THAT right because im too ashamed of it to do it properly who s even reading this huh??? its just pitying yourself and acting fucking sub-human. how do you handle someone coming to you again and gaign saying hey i feel like hshit hey i might hurt myself hey i DID hurt myself how th e fuck are you supposed to deal with that when it happens so much i dont wantt to put that on anyone but sitting there and doing nothing about it just makes me feel like the most worthless forgettable replaceable shitbag on earth and i know thats just self-indulgent bullshit i know im at least OKAY but for some reason tahts NEVER enoguh and thats just fucking infuriating that im too stuck up my own ass to be content wit hthat i know itll pass i know it will but when it happens i just want to fucking bash my skull in so i dont have to feel like it anymore im just. a n noying people. its all i know how to do and its gonna ffulfill that prophecy in the end like it always has FUCK its been what. a week? maybe two???? since ive started just melting down all the time and how much has this shit gone dwon huh??? how much bullshit have i started through my own stupid fuking whining it shouldnt be there in the first place i just want to go to sleep i just want to sleep and have friends and love things in a way thats okay and doesnt make me feel like shit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck i cant do it i have to do it

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