#when I talk of the depth

[absolutely-not-my-main-blog]

I think there’s a point when watching Always Sunny for the first time where all of a sudden, what they’re doing with the show and trying to do with the show just clicks, you know, the satire becomes clear but so does the psychological complexity of the characters, and it’s like crossing this threshold in your brain after the first shock of it subsides because it very much is shocking, but it’s also like walking on a bed of hot coals and if you’re one of the ones who doesn’t immediately run away at the first bite of the flame and you choose to endure/survive the shock of those metaphorical hot coals and think about everything just a minute or so longer, you get to experience enlightenment.

#iasip #it’s always sunny in philadelphia #You also get to experience the shock scrambling your neurons to think a little too much about Macdennis #and make you feel inexplicably glirsty #For some this happens in the first episode #for others it takes longer but if they choose to continue then they see #others are just standing next to the coals not willing to walk across it but complaining about the little steam #this metaphor analogy simile whatever is getting away from me #anmmbposts #always Sunny #this show makes me unwell #I remember the image of oh it’s a joke she says as she casually tossed aside a large rock vividly entering my mind at one point in s1 #and then my mind was freed #to think of all the rest of the depth they layered in there #it’s such a psychologically fascinating show I’m out of my mind with thoughts #watching iasip like frank in mfhp in just an I get it now moment of profound clarity #it did happen in s1 for me but I have no idea how to convey this 3rd layer of enlightened reality to others who look at me funny #when I talk of the depth #and the level of satire that’s so sharp that half the people don’t even understand it’s satire #it’s unlike anything I usually watch at all

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

He's sensitive about that

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wwx contextualizing when the xue yang stuff happened via years post mortem is so morbidly funny to me #now that his ´secret’ (kept for…2 days tops) is ‘out’ he really says whatever he wants to #i mean. not like it’s any change from before. WWX traded acting fruity to talking about his body decomposing #That’s how it works in courtship right? Talking about each other’s tragic deaths *is* the next step…right? #I’m glad to finally have an oppertunity to draw soggy eyes lwj #the depth of pain trapped in his orbs….much to ponder about #lwj has always been a very sensitive boy. An Orchid boy if you will; won’t die so easily at neglect #but needs special care to truly flourish #Oh! Happy comic number 50! #I’m proud of myself for getting this far B*) thank you to everyone who’s been along for the ride! heres to 100 more!

[the-greatest-magic-of-all]

God, Fabian and Riz need couples therapy and they're not even in a committed relationship.

#their friendship is what happens when a teen boy with anxious attachment and another with fearful-avoidant attachment become bffs #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fabian seacaster #riz gukgak #listen i love fabriz and do think that they could be life partners #BUT not before they TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!!! #i could go more into depth but... only of anyone wants me to #fabriz

[gelphiegifs]

The way Elphaba is ready to make her escape, stops when she recognizes Glinda's voice, and immediately turns around and reaches for her, even while still behind enemy lines. Also, since she was mostly alone in the time span between the acts this is probably the first hug she's gotten in years, if not the only one.

#gelphie #elphaba thropp #glinda upland #galinda upland #wicked #wicked musical #lissa deguzman #jennafer newberry #s: reunion #scene rambles #this is what i was talking about!! when elphaba ALSO walks towards glinda!!!!!! it just makes sense dramaturgically!!!! #when actresses understand the assignment and add so much depth to this 0.05 second long scene...... #theater 🚬

[uncanny-tranny]

The idea that children are inherently duplicitous, manipulative liars is genuinely doing harm to children and further obfuscates when genuine harm/abuse is occurring because, "what can the adults do, children are demons!"

The idea that children have divine knowledge that transcends adults' own knowledge and they use that knowledge for personal gain is, simply-put, abuse apologism. You are aiding and abetting abusive behaviour from adults, parents/guardians, medical professionals, whomever it might be.

#youth liberation #abuse #abuse tw #abuse apologia #sorry if i talked about this before - if i had then i simply forgor #again i just fucking despise how people talk about children *and* childhood abuse #like how was i manipulating people who were like 30+ at... ages three to thirteen #like it's infantilizing the adults in somebody's life while simultaneously blaming abuse survivors because they did something to deserve it #post that's kind of piggybacking off the last one but also just... #...man i hate in-depth and nuanced topics when many people have them

[denkisauce]

literally when has another ship given as much as bakudeku has. when has another ship encompassed so many tropes all at once while also having the relationship develop the way it has???? sometimes i’m just like dumbfounding by the depth that exists between them like they’re not just childhood friends, they’re not just rivals to lovers they’re not just starcrossed they’re not just punk x nerd or jock x jock or nerd x nerd or whatever the fuck they’ve gone from best friends to broken to fixed to i would die for you x i would kill for you like????? the nicknames???? the fact that katsuki has never told deku to stop calling him kacchan even when their relationship was at their lowest???? the fact that he was carrying his all might card with him the whole time???????????? the fact that izuku is so defensive he unlocked new powers multiple times because of kacchan and katsuki is so defensive he was willing to die TWICE for izuku?????? even the smaller things, all might rooting for them, aizawa saying his whole thing about how the two of them push their entire class to go above and beyond,, house arrest boys???? ohhh my goddddd like i know we all know but i can’t stop thinking about all of this all the time 😩😩😩

#i still cannot believe that the story has developed to a point where bakugou is so open and honest about his feelings #and dekus still out here ‘controling his heart’ MFER PLEASE TELL US HOW YOU FEEL IN RETURN #BOTH OF YOU SAY IT TO EACH OTHERS FACES #kacchan held izuku when izuku passed out in his arms and now izuku is holding kacchan in his 😩😩 #i’m sorry no shade but no other ship in mha is this multidimensional #just the depth of their individual characters combined with their history and the development of their relationship??? #UCH I WILL NEVER BE OVER IT #honestly having trouble coming up with another ship in GENERAL that has this much going for them like they’re insane #being a bkdk makes you insane #me whenever someone calls them siblings: what da hell are you talking about #bakudeku #bkdk #dkbk #dekubaku #my stuff

[strawglicks]

huge fan of the idea that flint cant handle what he dishes out.

they are too shy to be confrontational so as a result they let ppl walk all over them which i imagine results in pent up anger that they release thru talking shit behind ppls back .

and i get this impression from this exchange right here:

flint talking poorly of the satellites, followed by "oh no i shouldnt have said that" implies he KNOWS he shouldnt be saying it and will get confronted for it, further implying hes done it before. cosmo's rant also implies this is a common occurrence that, tbh, he is rightfully angry for. and most of the things he points out abt flint in said rant arent wrong at all.

flint can talk big all they want, but never to someone's face bc they cant handle the confrontation that comes with it. it's cowardly, there's no self-respect to be had there. its just flints attempt to feel confident/better abt themselves. and i really hope to see more of this aspect of his character, ESPECIALLY in canon since, apparently, this 1.3 blogpost isnt explicitly canon (which saddens me every time i think about it.)

btw i feel the need to add on that i dont think flint's wrong or lying abt the satellites. What I'm condemning them for is the fact they're talking shit but then cant handle the consequences. If ur gonna talk behind peoples backs and stir the pot, you should be able to say the same shit to their face as well. Cosmo certainly doesnt appreciate how flint views his boys, but i feel like even HE would have a little more respect if flint just had enough courage to say it to his face.

But they dont, because they look up to Cosmo and dont want to be on his bad side, making it even more difficult for Flint to be confrontational . he has no desire to start problems with cosmo HIMSELF, just the satellites. (ppl forget this and treat it like flint has issues with cosmo, but thats not true . flint admires cosmo, likely due to his confidence and leadership skills since its smth flint craves having for himself, and erasing that aspect is a HUGE injustice to a really fun and interesting dynamic !)

i feel like the detail that flint likes drama ALSO plays a part in all this. enjoys drama, probably watches it from afar, but the moment it involves him, hes a total coward lmao

#toontown #toontown corporate clash #ttcc #flint bonpyre #firestarter #mmm im gonna tag cosmo too bc i do talk a bit in depth abt him #cosmo kuiper #plutocrat #and ig their pairing tag as well ! #cosmo & flint #one of the biggest reasons this aspect of him gets ignored is bc no one talks abt cosmo #or his dynamic with flint #or when they do #they get it WRONG. bc they treat it like flint hates cosmo but thats not true #flint trying desperately to be on cosmos good side but failing bc of the satellites pestering him is so funny and has a lot of potential #i suppose part of the problem could also be a lack of canon content of this dynamic too . #id love to see more detail of flints beef with the satellites and how it affects him and cosmos feud #one sided feud really #oh yeah ig this is kind of an analysis post #my big juicy brain in full effect

[carefulfears]

one thing that stands out to me about the IVF arc is the way that, for as much as i make fun of her for asking her coworker if she can have his babies, scully asking mulder to be involved in the biggest process of her life (and the most important thing in the rest of her life) is such a healing and reverent experience. like he says “i’m absolutely flattered,” but it’s so much more than that. it’s like…spending your whole life feeling like you should’ve died at age twelve and then being told someone just wants more of you, more and more and more, in everything.

#it reminds me of 'sixth extinction' / 'amor fati' #when he quite literally was tied down and couldn't speak #and the way we hear him try to SCREAM when his mother just leaves him there #but his mind is Silent from the moment he hears scully in the hall begging to see him #and he couldn't crack a joke or run out the door #he literally just had to lie there and feel it #feel it on his Skin #her hand holding onto him #her tears falling onto his face #listening to the overwhelming depth of her fear that she is failing him and her devotion and her dedication to finding a way to help him #her Pleas for him to just 'hold on' #'i think that...if you know...if you could just find a way to hold on...i need you to hold on...please...' #everybody go listen to the civil wars' cover of 'talking in your sleep' #i don't think it can be overestimated how much of an impact that had on them and the lightness and healing in s7. that he Had to hear it #and then with the baby thing it's like...he CAN'T deny her that. he HAS to say 'yes' #there's no part of him that's capable of denying her something that she desires this badly. enough to ask for outright #and so he HAS to let himself be wanted and be invited into this unimaginably important and personal thing #let himself be a part of something bigger. be SEEN as someone who is valuable in a way that's bigger #and again he can't run from it and he can't deflect it and he can't hide from it. he has to just accept it #txf.txt #per manum

[puppyeared]

i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand

#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona #its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around #one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them #making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth #i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since #memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an #association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont #fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell #on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one #dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong #despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them #interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing #i struggle find a balance between those two things #actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of #her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard #or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it?? #maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard #although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh #yapping #oc talk #oc

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes

and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.

so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.

short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.

full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.

first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section

and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.

they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)

it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.

which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.

and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.

everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection

Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.

and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!

best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.

not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.

which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.

and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.

but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.

but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?

their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.

i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?

how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.

it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.

personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.

#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain #i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower #and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back #*taking a break from art* #brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings #welcome home theory #welcome home speculation #SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY #mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour #barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him #and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here #but like.... ugh #barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation #him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else. #him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt #everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone #and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away' #that has GOT to get on his nerves over time #this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck. #even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship #if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties #barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]' #and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship' #BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me! #also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things #bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn! #but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different #not said as a bad thing At All. #just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals #we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics

[itsafternoonpast5]

thinking about their friendship so hard

#camp camp #cc #David #jasper #fanart #DUDEEE nobody gets them like i do theyre so good #theyre so tragic.. they never truly got to know each other. the last time they ever seen each other they were angry with the other :( #but there’s so much regret that comes with it too. they never got to talk it out. be on good terms #they could see each other at any moment but they other doesn’t know #they call each other best friends yet we never really see them being best friends.. but maybe they get each other like no one else does #their personalities did a complete swap with each other - they understand how the other is thinking and feeling. #David hated the camp but after one good thing he loves it. viseversa with jasper #when they last saw each other they were clouded with their views and didn’t try to understand things from their lens #yet even if they didn’t - they still understood each other. if you get what I mean #theyre foils. but so is max and david and that’s what makes both relationships compelling for me. theyre so similar to each other #no wonder david is so attached to max. he sees himself in him and he sees jasper in him too #i know jaspers just a character to show how bad the camp is. but there’s so much depth to him too #he has a lot of missed potential.. i hope he’s in season 5 at least. id like to see him again #srry for the character analysis im insane #jaspvid

[raining-starshine]

I miss you already 🌹

#technoblade #technofanart #technoblade fanart #techno #dsmp #dream SMP #technoblade never dies #artists on tumblr #ok to rb #do the arts #good game blood god… #god. sorry guys I’m still really in the depths of it all. I miss him more than anything #I just feel quiet. not gonna talk about it too much I think. but I wanted to make something #will probable draw more when I listen to Will’s stream later #take care of yourselves my loves. #don’t worry he’s off to fight god #I probably shouldn’t post this at a random time but I will anyway #not going to add a little reblog thing today. I’m giving you a hug

[battleslippers]

most insane thing I’ve done as of recent!

literally just ocs atp but we chill. the aforementioned texts (you know the ones) are 100% ooc but it’s okay because it was funny @mister-mickey

Dallas cuts his hair for lore reasons and it looks like SHITTT at first

obviously derived from tolkien elves but they’re also kind of glorified plants. We also locked up Dallas’ magic to burn him from the inside out because honestly who DOESNT wanna see that (severely shortened lifespan)

Will be making full body designs unfortunately + maybe some of the other gang

#we talked in depth about this au for like 3 hours or something #elves usually just release it passively and control it to make shit grow but like #Dallas’ is locked up so the plants go to HIM. queue havoc on the infrastructure #Tim is some wizard guy he’s like good at magic I guess lol #we have a document of just lore #the outsiders #dallas winston #tim shepard #fantasy au #art #slipper art #when Dallas walks in grass it sticks to him I think that’s quite funny #will happily lore dump #I forgot to add Tim’s skintone oohhh just pretend he has melanin ohhhh

[oaxleaf]

i do feel like pulley makes a conscious choice, whilst she typically acknowledges the homophobia that would be present in a period setting, to not make it a significant plot point or to have too much angst surrounding it, which i very much appreciate. sometimes you can put queer people in fun historical settings and let them be miserable for reasons other than being queer. simultaneously, i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the themes of heteronormativity in thlovk. because those are not necessarily the same thing? i’m lucky enough to not have experienced much in-person homophobia, but by god does hetero- and cisnormativity prevail no matter how progressive of a place you live in.

so yeah, the way valery talks about things like marriage and family really resonates. the pretty much presumed loneliness, the notion that if you don’t settle down with your opposite-sex partner and have a bunch of kids then you’ll end up sad and uncared for. and whilst homophobia is mentioned and relevant (though more so when it comes to shenkov), heteronormativity is the real insidious attitude in the novel. how valery himself, throughout the entierty of the novel, keeps presuming that he’ll always lie farthest down on the list of people shenkov cares about, because the straight nuclear family promotes the idea that love and caring is a limited resource in a person when it really isn’t, and that a romantic, heterosexually married spouse will always take the automatic highest priority, followed by ones biological children, and that there even needs to be a hierarchy. valery’s insecurities are not about being queer, but it’s about the things everybody assumes you’ll never have just because of your queerness. and i appreciate an exploration of the struggles of queer identity that go deeper than the risk of hatred and homophobia

#natasha pulley #pulleyverse #the half life of valery k #and obviously there are a lot of even more in depth exploration you can do #both of heteronormativity and homophobia #because they are both real and complex issues #and i hate when people act like society has come ’far enough’ that they are not worth exploring #a sentiment i quite often hear coming from a nordic country that is simultaneously progressive and incredibly ignorant #but heteronormativity is something i feel so deeply #it’s what makes it awkward coming out to people or even mentioning that i’m into girls #even when i know the person i’m talking to is not necessarily prejudiced #so i appreciate and really felt seen about the intense feelings of isolation and being unimportant to greater society #does this make sense?

[tskumoyuuma]

I think it's completely valid if u dont like how riley was handled in midnight mass. it's a touchy subject, a sensitive one.

there was certainly a way to write it so it didnt have to end up that way. he didnt have to make that choice. he still tells erin and erin believes him. might have to prove it still, but it could have been done. techincally, he didnt have to do that. he could have made it to the end w the rest of them.

but that's not the kind of story midnight mass is. midnight mass is a tragedy for most characters. almost all of them, and riley is def included. in my opinion, in this kind of a story, riley's arc and character and decisions are perfect.

because its obvious from the start of the show how suicidal he is. let's not beat around the bush here, because that's what he is. he maybe wasnt actively planning on doing anything, but he said multiple times to multiple people how he didnt think there was anything left for him in life, that he served no purpose at all.

a show that wasnt a tragedy couldv given that to him in a nicer, more hopeful way. given him a purpose to continue living and finally moving on from the accident.

but midnight mass Is a tragedy, and that's not what happens.

instead, riley essentially commits suicide. he says he does this so erin will believe his story. and yes, she does believe him when it's all over and shes stopped screaming, but that's not the whole point of that scene. it's a scene that the show has been leading towards since the beginning.

when riley and erin talk about what happens after death, riley says he will have a purpose. his body will continue on in the world and universe long after hes truly gone from it. and he said this because, again, he was convinced he had no purpose left in life, and so the only way he could get it was in death.

and the thing is, he was so close to actually getting better. he could never imagine his future, could only see himself alone in that boat for so long. but the night before it happens, he sees erin there. and it's a start. it couldv been a start, had things gone differently. it couldv been the thing that helped him find that purpose, not just in death but in life, too.

but midnight mass is a tragedy, and riley's story is a tragedy, and so that's not what happens.

instead he gets turned, and suddenly hes an actual monster, one with an addictive urge that hes somewhat familiar with. he understands what the urge means, what following it would do to his loved ones.

so, he does the only thing he could think of doing. he takes himself to a place where he has nowhere to go, and he kills himself.

and in the process, he warns erin. if he hadnt, everyone on that island would have died. his death, his suicide, serves a purpose, not just for the narrative but for himself. because what was done to him erased any chance of an actual future he couldv had, any chance at the purpose he was seeking out. it even erased the purpose of his death. the only way he could die was to burn himself completely into dust. his body would have sustained microscopic life at the very least. his dust would not have

so by doing this, by essentially killing himself, it's not that riley's arc is thrown away for a few tears or narrative sense. his last scene is the ultimate conclusion to his story in this show that fits both his arc and the shows genre. and i wouldnt have changed it

#midnight mass #riley flynn #ok sorry this got very long #i just always have so many thoughts when i watch this show #n because im starved of people talking in depth about the story #i guess iv taken to filling that gap myself

[miodiodavinci]

head in hands like "maybe i should have realized this about myself sooner" as i am surrounded by neon flashing signs that Very Clearly Indicate the thing i should have realized about myself sooner

#anyway i'm just mulling about the 'tism skdjfhgljhdfg #thinking about how i've been having a hard time on site with my internship because i struggle to make small talk with my superiors #and everything is uncomfortable and terrible all of the time and i feel so so out of my depth #but talking with my university superior about the methodology of our profession #has me feeling like i'm playing just dance on extreme and i'm nailing every single beat w #like quite literally is like one of those rhythm games where when you get a combo it plays a cool sound effect #and i'm playing so well the sound effects are overlapping and the screen is just an explosion of stars w #so yeah i am. very comfortable talking academics and theory and things but. shit in social situations. #when i don't have that to rely on whoops #anyway it's just another thing on the incredibly long list of things i have building in my mind of #'why i should have realized i'm probably on the spectrum sooner' #the thrilling sequel to 'how did i go 20+ years without realizing i have ADHD' w #(speaking of) #(the way my ADHD has been leaping into the spotlight this week) #(biggest highlight was being jumpscared not once) #(not twice!!) #(but THREE times by food i had bought for myself) #(put down briefly) #(and then forgotten about for upwards of 30 minutes to 5 hours) #(like the other day i bought myself a little pastry on the way home as a congrats for surviving another week) #(and i put it on the table when i came inside) #(but i. forgot i did that. and went like 4 hours without even thinking about it) #(until i got up and left my room and saw the bag and went '! ! ! ! ! ! ! OH MY GO D MY PASTRY NOOOOOOO') #(the adhd and the autism . . . . they are attacking my ass . . . . . )