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#when I'm not so scrambled and emotionally drained
savage-rhi · 1 year
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💙
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chu-ni · 2 years
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[sometime late at night.]
a/n: it seems like im always coming and going on this blog lol but it is genuinely bc i am so busy!! im in seoul now, and classes are crazy but i really wanted to get this one out bc its been sitting in my drafts for way too long....anyway i hope you're all keeping well <3
also listen to this while reading pleaseeee
wc: 737
warnings: brief mention of hands touching t*tties but everyone is fully clothed i promiseeee
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"Sorry. Again."
You immediately turn to look at Mark, and find him staring at the ceiling of the car. You don't think you've ever seen him look so drained, or so tired. His eyes are still rimmed with red, and theres nothing more you want than to just help him.
"It's fine, Mark."
"No it isn't. I ruined everything. I ruin everything. I pushed you away cause I was being an asshole. I let my girlfriend get away from me." He chuckles, but theres no humour in it. If anything, he seems on the verge of tears again. Your hands shoot out to his shoulders, forcing him to look at you. "Listen to me, Mark. I already forgave you; so stop beating yourself up about it. You're my best friend. I'm not letting you get away that easily. And as for your ex..." You take a breath, " None of that was your fault. She chose to do what she did. You chose to be a good person. And that's what I love about you, Mark. You always choose to be good." You're looking at him, searching his eyes for something that says he's heard you. Something that says he believes every word you said. The way he returns your gaze is something different - like he's looking at you in a new light, like something just clicked into place for him.
You feel his hands come up to cradle your cheeks, his thumbs resting on your lips. You see his eyes linger on them for longer than necessary, and then rise to meet yours. You hear his quick inhale/exhale, like he's preparing to say something.
"Is it- Is it okay if I come a little closer?" he murmurs, his eyes begging yours for permission. You nod, the tension between you pulled so taut it would take the slightest disturbance to make it snap.
He crashes his lips onto yours and it's like a dam has broken - your lips moulding and moving with his in an emotionally charged dance. Mark's hands rove all over you, and a spark of electricity runs down your spine when he lets out a whimper and his hands come to rest on your chest, fondling them with care. You barely have time to breathe before he's back for more, like he can barely get enough. His tongue explores your mouth, carefully at first but gaining speed as he gains confidence. Its all you can do not to fall apart in his arms.
Finally you pull apart, chests heaving, lips slightly swollen, and a trail of saliva between your lips the only tangible evidence of what you'd both just done.
You fall back against your seat, staring into the ceiling, much like Mark had done before.
"Sorry. That was a lot, wasn't it?"
"Stop apologising, Mark!" He flinches a little, and you soften. "I should apologise,"
He whips round, confused. "You're vulnerable right now, and we just..." You find yourself unable to meet his gaze, the volume of your voice significantly decreasing. "We just....did that."
He sighs, and you can feel him rolling his eyes. "If I didn't want this, I wouldn't have done it, Y/N. For real. Now let's....do that, again."
Happy to oblige, you kiss him until you're dizzy; until this time its Mark who pulls away, realising the time and scrambling to get you home as he fumbles to put the keys in the ignition. You zoom through the streets, and neither of you can deny the tug at your chests when he finally pulls up to your drive. Wordlessly, he leans in again, you returning the action, both of your lips aiming to meet in the middle. You giggle, surprised when you find your noses have squished together instead. Leaning back, you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, sheepish, and go in again.
This time, your lips meet properly, engaging in one last final dance before you pull away, Mark rushing you out of the car and up to your door. While he stays in the car, you find he never once stops staring at you until you've entered the house and the door has shut behind you. Only then do you hear the revving of his engine, signalling he's gone.
That night, you head to sleep with cheeks that ache from smiling so much, and a heart thats beginning to put itself back together.
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why-am-i-here-lol · 1 year
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can you write an Echo x reader who just broke up with her bf? and echo just comforts her? tyyy!! <33
Yesss ofc we love a good comfort fic - enjoy <3 also sorry this took so long, I haven't posted in a hot minute 0-0
You knew it. Somehow you knew what was going on with your boyfriend before you found out. It was a sick feeling in your stomach like something wasn't right.
Earlier this evening you put your suspicions to the test, ultimately finding out that he had some twi'lek girls coming over whenever you went to your job at the GAR. You told him you were leaving on a mission when in reality, the medical chief gave you some time off. You saw them walk to your door, and you saw your boyfriend welcome them in like old friends... or more than friends.
Ever since then, you've been at work. The medics were all surprised to see you today, since you were supposed to be home, relaxing, enjoying your free time. A few asked you about it, but you just gave dismissive responses, too emotionally drained to deal with the stress. Since you couldn't work, you found a quiet place to settle, somewhere no one would think anyone would be.
You sat down, exhausted. And cried. You let out your frustrations, anger, sadness, insecurity, and utter despair. All these feelings and more seemed to whirl around you, like a tornado. You could feel it in your bones. Your fingers were getting tingly, and your heart just... hurt. It hurt with an intensity you rarely ever felt.
You lost track of how long you had been sitting there, in your secluded corner of an empty room, but you knew it had been a while by how much your butt hurt. You sat for a while more, working up the courage to get up, to face what happened. You knew you would have to talk to your new ex soon, but every time you thought of it, your heart would pound, your breathing becomes more shallow, and your heart would break all over again. You couldn't see him in your mind without seeing those girls waltzing and prancing into your home anymore. You couldn't see why you just weren't good enough for him. You were still shocked, even though hours had gone by.
You eventually stood up and stretched out a bit, getting extremely dizzy in the process. 'Man, I must have cried out everything I had in me', you thought.
You started to make your way out of the room, probably looking like a mess, but before you got too far, you bumped into someone and fell to the floor. They exclaimed in surprise, while you attempted to scramble to your feet.
"I'm so sorry!" you blurted, completely embarrassed. Your embarrassment doubled when the subject of your clumsiness called out your name and tripled when you recognized the voice. It was Echo. As in, the member of the Bad Batch whom you worked closely with, that you knew the least since he was still new. He grabbed your arms, helping you up as you babbled some sort of apology.
"Oh Echo! I'm so sorry, I didn't see you, and I just- I'm sorry I wasn't paying atten-"
"Hey hey, it's okay," he assured, studying you to make sure you were in fact okay. Once his eyes studied your face though, his entire expression shifted. "Hey, are you okay?"
You remembered your appearance, and what it must look like for him. You fumbled over a response, never seeming to actually make a coherent sentence, but eventually gave up, just saying you were fine.
He saw right through this, of course, and thought it would be best to find a quieter place than the middle of the hallway to talk about this if you so desired. 'The barracks are taken by the others, so the Maurader might be the better option,' he thought.
"I know I don't know you as well as I should, but I know enough to know you aren't fine. Do you want to go to the Havoc Maurader and talk?"
You almost broke down then and there in that hallway. Why did it feel so... relieving for Echo of all people to just know that you weren't okay?
"Yes," you said, tears starting to well again. Echo quickly saw and wiped your tears with his thumb, looking at you with compassion.
"Hey now, you'll be okay. Let's go talk."
That's how you found yourself sitting on one of the small bunks in the Maurader, Echo sitting next to you.
"So.. what's going on?"
You stayed silent for a moment, before giving a hesitant answer.
"Just... Life stuff I guess." You looked up at him, wanting to see his reaction, and if he'd see right through you and push for an answer.
"Life must be really stressful right now then. With the state I caught you in, I'd say something big is going on."
You just looked down in response, feeling impressed to tell him more, but still not trusting fully that it would even do anything for you. 'He is taking really good care of you, you at least owe him an explanation,' you thought.
You sighed, making up your mind.
"I caught my boyfriend cheating on me today," you started, "and I'm just ... In a lot of pain from it."
"Whoever this guy is, he clearly didn't know what he had - or what he lost for that matter," Echo replied. "He didn't deserve you, and you deserve better than what he gave you." He paused for a moment, the silence making you really think before he continued. "I think for now, you need some food and rest. Time will heal. It's not easy, but you'll find it'll help you in the end and you'll be stronger than you were before."
You couldn't help your tears anymore, and once again your eyes started letting them out, first slowly, but surely speeding up as you lost your composure. You practically melted into Echo, who responded by wrapping his arms around you in a comforting hug.
"Echo?"
"Yes?"
"Do you think you'll be able to help me until things do get better? I mean.. I don't want to go through this alone," You explained.
"Of course I'll help you!" He exclaimed. "I'd do anything for you, actually." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly as you cocked your head in confusion. You couldn't help but feel your cheeks start to burn, your heart starting to beat a little faster.
"What?"
"Heh, I'll explain later. You don't need more on your mind right now," he said, smiling down at you.
You smiled at his consideration, already suspecting what he wasn't saying. The thought made you smile.
"Alright, if you say so." You waited a moment before continuing, "And for the record, I'd do anything for you too." You smiled at him, hoping he'd take the hint.
He did. He smiled at the thought of what could be.
"Thank you," he said, "but you need to rest for now."
"You're probably right," you laughed, "it's been quite a day." Your face turned solemn, thinking about all that had happened.
"I know it's not much, but you can take my hammock in the barracks for however long you need.
"That's more than enough, Echo, thank you. But what about your brothers? Wouldn't they question what's going on? What will you tell them?"
"They will want to know, but they understand privacy all the same. I'll only tell them what you want me to tell, if anything at all."
"I don't mind if you tell them," you started before yawning. "Although, I think it is time to get some rest."
"Agreed," he said, smiling softly.
You followed him through the halls to his barracks, still feeling sad, but strangely okay. You didn't feel better, but you had a new confidence that this would pass, you wouldn't feel this way forever. You knew you'd be okay with Echo. He would take care of you.
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bylightofdawn · 1 year
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!!!!
WOOOF Finished Chapter 22 and holy fuckballs I am EMOTIONALLY DRAINED from writing that chapter.
That is an emotional doozy. I will prolly have to edit it heavily. Also ahahaha this chapter is cursed with so many rotating POV. I can't even
I just pray people can follow-along with this.
EDIT: I legit just went and laid next to Genji and wrapped my arms around him and hugged him for a full two minutes. Which is shocking because he normally would be IMMEDIATELY out of there. But he actually passively laid there and let me bury my face into his shoulder and lavish kisses on him. Bruh, I needed that moment.
Of course, after two minutes he was like 'Nope, I'm done' and immediately scrambled from my arms and crouched on the foot of the bed like two feet away looking at me like I'm the madwoman I am. I gave him a sheba stick for his services as my emotional support animal.
I'm gonna put plot spoilers behind the cut because I need to get it out of my head right now.
🚨🚨Read at your own risk. 🚨🚨
⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
Last warning, do not click if you don't want chapter spoilers
H o l y s h i t
So it's revealed Montross hired a Death Watch assassin to try and take Jango out.
I'm giving Jango the idiot ball here and he just...ran with it. Went right for Montross who was fully armored up, ready to ostensibly got 'hunting' Death Watch. Jango is a fucking idiot who is unarmored and immediately tries to take Montross out, ends up getting overpowered and turned into an unwilling captive to a now panicking Montross who squares off with an EXCEEDINGLY pissed Jaster who is doing everything he can to not flip his shit.
Ends up telling Montross he'll let him go if he releases Jango.
They start arguing back and forth, Montross doesn't believe him and has Jango pinned to him with a blaster to his head as he literally backs himself into a corner, aka the bank of windows in the living room.
Mij tries to interject, is literally the only other person armored up and ready for action and the only one with a jetpack (you can see where this is prolly going) He tries to defuse the situation with no luck.
Jaster continues to be scarily intense and telling Montross if he lets Jango go he can leave alive but it he hurts him, he's going to make his death very long and very painful which....not great negotiating skills on his part but it's a high emotional state so we're gonna give him a C- average on handling the situation and his temper.
Myles who is like three seconds from passing out ends up throwing a vibroknife through the window which shatters it and gives Montross a sudden exit which he takes.
By throwing Jango out the window as a distraction and he then proceeds to book it as Mij dives after Jango rather than chasing after him.
Jaster isn't happy with Myles cause that was a stupid risk he just took with his son's life though Myles argues back he knew Montross would take the out and predicted he would prolly do something like that but he knew Mij was there with said jetpack to save the day.
Mij drags Jango back inside who just sags, Jaster tries to grab him, his dumbass being the one with the nearly non-functional arm and a leg still healing from getting hit by a skycar a few days (and chapters) earlier. So he ends up nearly going down too and poor Mij is just over EVERYONE'S BULLSHIT and throws both of them at the couch.
Jaster orders him to go after Montross which Mij hesitates over because three people are fucking walking wounded who literally can't stand right now. Jaster orders him to go after Montross but he is long-gone at this point so he ends up just giving up and returns to base as Jaster announces over team comms Montross is a traitor and he's shoot on sight.
Kal is all "WTF repeat that?"
Meanwhile Vau is his typical ice-cold self and is all "Copy, last location?" just no questions just straight up ready to merc a bitch.
Why? BECAUSE IT IS WALON VAU
Which is when Mij just is done with everything and tells Jaster he lost him and he's returning to base.
And that's how this shit show of a chapter is going to end.
Next chapter is going to be just as awful. Jaster is going to go on a roaring rampage of revenge. Thankfully Myles isn't dying though he might pass out and will have a solution for how to track him and Death Watch.
I am so fucking drained from writing all of that chaotic bullshit. If you think the summary was chaotic bullshit, imagine where my poor brain is right now.
Also NEVER do this, I just literally had to get it out of my brain or I would not be able to sleep or have any peace tonight I think.
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doctorgerth · 5 years
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Hey Doc! Here's the thing: ever since I was a child I got the idea implanted in my head that crying equals weakness. I was always ashamed when I cried and thought I didn't derserve any attention or affection for being so "weak" around others. Now as an adult it's still hard for me to let go when I'm sad, I always need a heavy trigger and even then most of the time I suppress it. How would Ace, Law and Kid react to such behaviour from their s/o? Thanks in advance, have a lovely day 😊
Hi, lovely anon! First and foremost, I just want to say I am so happy that you feel comfortable enough to tell me about this struggle. I wish I could hug you and tell you that is normal and healthy to cry! Your crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s you expressing human emotion and it’s a beautiful thing. Never bottle things up, it only leads to explosion, and your loved ones don’t want to see you go through that and you shouldn’t put yourself through that! I hope you continue to grow stronger and braver in your expression of emotions. You deserve all the affection and comfort. If you ever need anything, please never hesitate to message me! 
With that being said, I hope you enjoy how your request turned out! x
HCs Ace, Law, Kid with Suppressible S/O (Angst)
Ace
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“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”
- Ace is one to suppress sadness as well, so he can relate to your ordeal. But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t break his heart. He feels completely safe to be emotionally vulnerable around you, why don’t you feel the same way?
- He always wants to be there to comfort you when you’re sad, but he never sees that side of you. You’ve seen him break down and cry a few times, why hasn’t he seen you do that? You two have gone through a lot of shit together. A lot of deaths, fights, and just emotionally draining events, but he has never once seen a single tear from you. Why?
- He ponders on this for far too long, becoming increasingly sad watching you interact happily with others. What if you’ve just been masking your sadness all this time, like him? What if you suffer from the same existential anxiety that he does? Watching you for so long really helps him to learn about himself and his own emotions.
- It’s very subtle, but Ace knows the look better than anyone. He notices when your smile slowly drops and your eyes just deadpan, like you’re subconsciously going somewhere else, like you want to be anywhere but here. He can see the anxiousness from you as you look around scanning at all the people around you. This is when you typically see if anyone is paying attention to you desperately seeking solace in solitude. He’ll look away quickly, pretending as if he doesn’t know what your next plan is. You’ll sneak away to lock yourself in your room. Ace shamelessly follows and will just stand outside your door, waiting. Sometimes, he’ll put an ear to the door, hoping to hear something, anything.
- All you ever offer is silence though, and Ace simply can’t stand it. He knows you’re crying in there. Why are you holding back? There comes a day when he decides enough is enough, he is going to help you. So when you’re locked in your room one day, you hear a light knock on the door.
- Ace simply responds with walking in, closing the door behind him, and taking you into his arms, offering the utmost comforting and loving embraces. He’s spent months trying to figure out just what to say to you, just how to make you feel safe with him, “I know you’ve been hiding your sadness. And we both know I’m the world’s worst about doing that too, but god, I can’t stand seeing you do it. I just want to tell you, and I guess myself, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. No one here expects you to be strong all the time, especially me. Whatever is making you feel so sad, we can overcome it, together. Just let go, I’m here.”
- When you explain to him your past and your personal views on crying, he can’t help but break down right there. You remind him so much of him and it absolutely kills him. He tells you over and over again how strong you are and how he’ll make sure you never feel so helpless ever again. You spend the rest of the night just crying and being vulnerable together. Ace will continue to give you your space when desired, but he always offers you his shoulder when you just need to cry. 
Law
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“You don’t have to hide anything around me.”
- Law is the king of suppression. Like Ace and you, he definitely prefers to hide his sadness. Law doesn’t like to look weak in front of enemies and potential threats, sure, but what gets him most is looking weak and vulnerable in front of his crew. He’s their captain and is meant to protect and fight for them; he can’t look weak even for a second or they’ll stop believing in him. It breaks his heart to see the look of concern and worry from those he loves. He feels safe and emotionally open around his crew, but he can’t stand when they worry about him.
- Which, of course goes the same for you. But he would never expect you to hide your emotions from him. He’s had multiple instances with his crew mates crying to him/around him, but he’s never once had to comfort you. He understands your facial expressions and mannerisms better than anyone else. He can just feel when you’re sad, but he never actually sees it. Which is how you have fooled the crew time and time again, but not him.
- When a particularly tragic event occurs, and he sees not even a single tear roll down your face, he is immediately concerned. He studies you from afar, waiting for you to crack, but you remain as stoic as ever. The only significant difference being the way you avert your eyes when someone meets yours. To anyone, your smile looks genuine, happy, reassuring, but he can see right through that. He can feel the emotional energy draining from you as you walk past him straight to your room.
- He is always respectful of your privacy, but the curiosity of just what you’re doing in there all alone eats away at him every single time. Why can’t you come cry in his office like everyone else? Why don’t you ask him to hold you or to tell you everything will be okay? Is he doing something wrong? Is there a reason you never seek solace in him?
- All he wants to do is talk to you. Just let him in, that’s all he asks. He’s never wanted to console anyone, not even himself, more than he wants to console you. He can feel your pain and how bad you want to release it. Why are you shutting him out?
- Law waits and waits for you to open the door. When you finally do, he merely slides his way in, simply looking over you. Searching for any evidence of crying. You offer him nothing as you always make sure to rid yourself of any trace of weakness before meeting the eyes of your lover and crew again. He reaches for your hand, and the way you retract out of instinct so quickly, he can’t help but ask every question he’s been dying to know the answer to. When you tell him how you feel about crying, and how you don’t deserve to be comforted for being so weak, he simply takes your face in his hands, “Crying doesn’t equal weakness, it just means you’re human. It’s perfectly normal and absolutely healthy to cry when you need to. You’re one of the strongest people I know, because you never have to pretend to be. I might not ever express myself clearly around you, but I never hide anything from you. Therefore, you don’t have to hide anything around me. You can always come to me for comfort. Don’t you ever force yourself to go through things alone again. I’m here, I’m always here.”
- Law makes it a point to check on you, from afar of course, at least once everyday. He’s a little unsettled, scared you might be holding back from him again. But, he’s a patient man, and he’s done what he could do to show you he is your support system. Seeing your genuine smile really made him feel at ease, as he hadn’t seen that true smile in a long time.
Kid
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“You’re allowed to feel weak.”
- Kid is the type that when he feels an emotion, he feels it to the extreme. When he is happy, he’s really happy, when he’s angry, he’s really angry, when he’s sad, he’s really sad.
- So learning that you suppress your sadness doesn’t really register to him? He’s an open book, always expressing his emotions freely, no matter the consequence. If a tough guy like Kid, the future Pirate King himself, can openly cry, surely you should feel the same freedom?
- Seeing you lock yourself in your room time and time again after a rough day, a tragedy, a death, whatever, he just assumes you need your space. That’s okay, Kid can respect that. But it’s the way you always walk out of that room after hours of isolation, pretending like everything is okay, as if you were never upset that really worries him.
- Kid can be an observant guy, especially with his partner. He takes notice of your patterns and habits regarding your emotions. He sees you express everything so clearly, so defined, and then he finally realizes he’s never seen you cry. He can’t explain why, but that really bothers him after all the time you have spent together. It’s not that he wants to see you cry, he’s just concerned that you can’t?
- He will of course approach you about this during one of your shut in times. He’ll bust through the door, disregarding your demand for privacy, and when he finally sees those tears on your cheeks, the contortion of your face, the broken, helpless look in your eyes…he breaks down. He pulls you to him, simply out of instinct, trying his best to comfort you; anything to make the tears stop. You scrambling, begging for him to leave you alone and to let you go really upsets him.
- When you tell him about your past, getting the idea implanted in your head that crying equals weakness, he just scoffs at you, but now he finally understands, “You can’t be strong all the time, stupid. You’re allowed to feel weak as long as you have the courage to become stronger, like me! Even in your moments of weakness, you’re still the fierce, courageous woman I fell in love with. No matter how much you cry, that will never change. Now get your ass up and let me hold you, dammit. I’m here to comfort you.”
- Kid is oddly patient with you, realizing it will take time before you can openly cry in front of him. He’s completely content if he’s the only one who ever gets to see you cry. He just knows better than anyone that holding in your emotions makes you explode, and he doesn’t want that to ever happen to you. He truly tries in your relationship (he wouldn’t be wasting his time if he wasn’t dedicated) so making you feel secure in your emotions is a top priority. He’ll cry with you if you ask him to. And he will absolutely obliterate anyone who says anything negative about you crying, crew member or not.
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begbud · 2 years
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awaken from a nightmare. lay in bed and try to masturbate to jump start the dopamine receptors. stumble into the clothes and contact lenses. play 30 seconds of a mobile game to prove to myself i can engage in leisure, when in actuality, any time i have left to myself is rapidly slipping out of the hourglass and i'm already late for work.
i'm getting into my car when i notice all of the recycling i put out last night has blown all over the neighborhood, making me the gigantic neighborhood asshole. i collect what i can salvage from the shitstorm, but it's time for me to go. i race pathetically to my car.
what follows is nicer. i make breakfast for the sleeping child. i clean up a whirlwind of child-mess. i wake up the sleeping child. i'm nauseated at breakfast but i eat anyway to communicate healthy attitudes about food to the eating child.
we're taking a walk in the park when my l*ndlord assaults me with texts. a certain repair man tries to extort money from me for work he didn't do. i manage to navigate the shitty situation so well that i am vindicated and owe neither of them any money. but i'm left so emotionally drained that i don't feel like i've won.
my nausea returns and i'm sick to my stomach and jittery for the rest of the day. how am i simultaneously so strong but so fragile. like a car from the 50s that, during an accident, barely got a scratch on them. but inside, their passengers were splattered like scrambled eggs.
it's my "break"--the older one is sleeping but i'm bouncing the infant for an hour and a half. it's the only thing that quells her. movement. i appreciate her simple demand, bouncing her dutifully in the baby bjorn with the tip of my toe, as i attempt to decompress. its not working but i'm trying. my stomach churns.
i'm trying to read an absolutely filth riddled book but my boss is reading crossword puzzle clues aloud, and pondering them, aloud. i give polite "hmm.."s and "huh"s like the good little NPC that i am.
i come home to a gay little passive aggressive note from my neighbor about the recycling from this morning, because i am the neighborhood asshole.
in the kitchen i pack my lunch for tomorrow, make some sushi for dinner, and worry about doing a good enough job at relaxing and enjoying my evening. because soon it will be over, and time to sleep, and it will be time to wake up again--time to do everything all over again.
i try to tell myself i have time to rest, then study for interviews, and german, and knit, and read, and sleep on time. this, is and isnt, true. i can do a little bit of all of these things. but that's not what i want. i want to do all of it to their fullest extent. yet there's only so many hours, only so much energy inside me. i'm very tired of my life being devoted to pursuits that dont serve me. going to work pays all my bills while also sucking up all my time for things that will enrich and improve my life. thats it thats the post
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bebepac · 4 years
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I'll Stand By You
This one I wrote for my 50th follower @xpandabeardontcarex . Thank you for being my 50th follower and not thinking I was crazy when I messaged you 🤣🤣🤣🤣. Thanks to all who is following me. I really hope you enjoy this. I really enjoyed writing this one.
I used @god-save-the-keen Phoebe prompt #48
"You are my family"
And Ross prompt # 3
"I'm fine." * in a pitched voice
Both will appear in bold.
Liam and Riley belong to Pixelberry
Jason and Ren Brooks are my own characters, Riley's parents. To learn more about them check out
The Life of Riley located HERE
Word count: 2220
I don't own the rights to any of the music.
Warnings: Sadness, mention of character deaths, mention of character's near death experience.
Summary: Riley dealing with the anniversary of her parent's death.
@dcbbw @kacie-0156 @janezillow @xpandabeardontcarex @queenjilian @kingliam2019 @glaimtruelovealways @queencordonia @lodberg @kimmiedoo5 @hopefulmoonobject @custaroonie @camersworld @texaskitten30 @kaitycole @my0123456789universe @iaminlovewithtrr @marietrinmimi
https://youtu.be/SuWAGT9ZkYE
youtube
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Riley’s alarm went off, but instead of her groaning trying to wake up, she was wide awake staring at it. Unfortunately, she had been watching the clock so anxiously the majority of the night.  Already feeling weary, she got out of bed, taking a long shower.  
Every year, this day was hard for her; it never seemed to get easier. Isn’t the passage of time supposed to heal wounds, make them hurt less? Her physical wounds had long since healed. She gingerly rubbed the spot on her head, a small patch of her scalp where her hair was missing, because they had to drill holes to relieve the swelling in her brain while she was in the coma, and her hair just never grew back.. She was able to hide it easily.
 It’s hard to hurt less, when you don’t even know or remember what you lost.  So each year that day January 18th was a reminder and the ache she felt in her heart she always felt at 8:48am, made it known she had  lost a lot.
Liam greeted her with a good  morning, a soft kiss to her lips and a tender hug. 
“I hope you’re hungry,  I wanted pancakes for breakfast, cheese scrambled eggs, and bacon extra crispy.  Your favorite breakfast is really growing on me. Can’t you tell?” He patted his stomach. She tried to smile, but it looked something like a grimace.
 His smile faded when he looked at Riley.  He really took stock of her face and what he saw was that she looked exhausted, and her eyes were red.  Riley was physically drained.
 “What’s wrong Love?" He asked his voice full of loving concern.  
"I'm fine!" 
Skeeeerk!!!!  She had to calm down.  Her voice went really pitchy, but thank goodness Liam didn't notice, as Chance barked at the same time sitting at his feet.
Liam chuckled.  "See he knows, mommy won't share her bacon with him, but daddy will." He slid Chance some bacon which he gobbled up quickly.
Liam made today hard. It wasn't his fault she knew, he just has a lot of obligations.  He couldn't just go off the grid for 24 hours. 
Daniel had always known to give her space and just be ok with the fact she would be mentally and emotionally unavailable today. 
She was a Duchess now, soon to be Queen she couldn't be that way anymore.  
"Love? Did you hear what I said?"
She looked at him apologetically.  "I'm sorry no."
"You had some cancellations for your meetings today, Madeline informed me right before you arrived.  It looks like your schedule is cleared for today. Since my meetings were yours, it looks like my day is free too. Is there anything you'd like to do together?"
Why today of all days… I can't handle this today. She thought. 
"I didn't sleep well last night. I just need to lie back down for a bit." 
His eyebrow furrowed looking at her. "Ok."
She put her pajamas on, getting back in bed. 
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She lay in the bed for a few more hours, just staring at the clock. Her eyes finally closing briefly.
She woke because Liam texted her to come to his study. Dragging herself out of bed with her phone she glanced at the time. It was five minutes before 8:48am, New York time.
Both stared at each other in an awkward silence. On his desk was a dossier.  
Riley checked the time again; 8:46 New York time. 
The silence continued.
"Was there something you needed?" 
"For you to tell me what's wrong."
"Liam I just can't do this today."
Both their phones alarms went off at the same time. 
"It's 8:48am in New York right now," he said softly.
Her eyes that were downcast  shot up to him. 
He got up from his seat from behind the desk, sitting next to her instead. 
"I contacted Daniel. He told me how exactly you were going to react to today, and you have."
"I'm sorry Liam." Tears welled in her eyes, she looked down at the floor. 
He lifted her chin for her eyes to meet his again.
"It's not your fault Love. You are used to doing it all alone, and coping with things alone. But you're forgetting one crucial thing now."
"What?" She asked. 
He smiled at her, gently stroking her cheek wiping her tears.
"You're not alone anymore.  When I put that ring on your finger, we may not be married yet,  but ......
You are my family
Riley Antonia Brooks.. And I would do anything in my power to make this extremely hard day easier for you."
A tear rolled down his cheek. 
Then it hit her… he had her favorite breakfast made  ….he also cleared her day. Because he knew, and he understood.
"I had Bastien do some research."
He picked up the dossier handing it to her.
"Did you read it?"
Tears filled Liam's eyes, as he nodded. 
"What did it say?" 
"The police didn't know you were in the car.  You were in the ravine for 6 hours in the cold alone. It's a miracle someone happened to see your broken cell phone you dropped, when the explosion blew you off the bridge, and looked over the side, seeing you.  Your body temperature was below 84 degrees when they got you into the ambulance. Your heart….."
Liam choked back a sob.
"Your heart stopped twice during the 30 minute ride to the hospital.  You've had to be so much stronger in this life, than I have ever had to think about being. You should have died in the fall. The doctors couldn't explain how you survived. Riley you are a miracle; you're my miracle."
 His grip on her hand tightened.   "I can't imagine what my life would be like now, had you died that day Riley, and I don't want to. I know I would not be engaged to someone I love right now." 
She sat there looking through the pictures and files in the dossier.  The pictures from the accident scene caused her to burst into tears. Quickly closing the file.  
"I know it's a lot to handle. I'm here to help, we are in this together, and i’ll be strong for you when you don’t feel that way, you can lean on me..  But there's more." 
Liam went to his intercom.  “You can bring it in now.”
Bastien came in carrying a box.  
He put it on the floor at Riley’s feet.  
“What is it?” 
Liam tried to speak but he couldn’t get out the words. He looked at Bastien.
“Duchess Riley, I went to New York on the request of King Liam to find out as much information about your accident as I could. That search took me to the estate lawyer that actually sold your parent’s home.  She found a box in the attic of items after the sale was final, and didn’t have the heart to throw them away. A lot of people are under the impression that you died in that accident too. When I told her you were engaged to be married, she gave me this box.
Riley peered into the box, and what she saw took her breath.  She couldn’t stop the tears falling from her eyes. The box contained photo albums and dvd’s and a video camera. She picked up the first album.  
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As she flipped through the album, she touched each picture.  “They looked so happy…" she whispered. Tightly holding Liam’s hand, looking up at him.
"I looked so happy with them.”   She let go of Liam’s hand, hugging the photo album to her chest tightly.
Liam nodded, his eyes wet with tears,  “It looks like you had a wonderful mother and father.”  
“Duchess Riley, if I may,  I had the opportunity to talk to some of the officers who knew your father. They spoke of him in glowing terms to this day.  They also spoke of you. His little mini. You trained by his side. He taught you multiple forms of martial arts to boxing, and strength training, which you picked up like a sponge.  He trained you as a fighter.  
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“That’s why I think you survived.  You wouldn’t accept death. You clung onto life by a thread, as a true fighter would. They all mentioned how much they loved your mother.  She was a nurse, and always baking cookies or cakes for the officers. Maybe that’s where your sweet tooth comes from." 
Bastien laughed, she smiled. He looked at her and touched her face, the way she always thought a father would. She closed her eyes to the touch, imagining it was her father for a moment. 
"I have  been compelled knowing your extensive training history to train you personally to continue it, as I genuinely feel your father would have wanted. Think about it and let me know."
She gave Bastien a hug,  “Thank you so much.”
Even he was a little choked up. 
“Glad to be of service ma’am.”
Bastien exited the room.
“Liam….”  
He shook his head.
"Don't  thank me for this, I am just happy I had the resources to give you some answers. Maybe having some of these items will help regain your memories."
She continued looking in the large box. In the bottom there was a white dress preserved in plastic.  
She carefully pulled the dress out of the box. Opening the package.  She stood up shaking out the dress, holding it up to herself. It was supposed to be a ballgown, but it was way too short for her. She chuckled.
"Damn these long legs."
"I love those damn long legs," Liam said smiling at her. 
"What if we have it altered and shortened, I could wear it for the rehearsal dinner. What do you think?" 
"I think that's a beautiful idea."  He pulled her close to him kissing her.  "I love you so much," he whispered.
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“I never thought i could love you more than I already did until today.” 
"Get dressed, there is some place I want to take you."
She put back on what she was previously wearing, and Bastien took them to the cathedral which they would be getting married. 
Liam took her hand leading her away from the main sanctuary,  down a corridor. She could see the glow before they got completely there; It was a room full of candles. 
"Each year, on the anniversary of my mother's passing, I come here to light a candle for her and say a prayer.  I thought you'd like to do it for your parents." He paused before continuing to speak.
"I would as well because they would have been my parents too, marrying you.  They gave me you, and i will be eternally grateful for that." 
Tears glistened in Riley's eyes.  She was so overwhelmed with emotion, and love for Liam, that all she could do was nod in agreement.  
She lit two candles and kneeled. He also lit two candles and kneeled next to her. He took her hand and both closed their eyes beginning to pray. 
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"Ren, she's become such a beautiful, intelligent,  young woman. I can't believe us screw ups had a hand in raising her." 
Their spirits stood next to their daughter and soon to be son in law.
"Look at the two of them praying together. I'm so glad we weren't selfish, Jason. He needs her. He will be a better man, a better King with her ruling by his side." 
"We should let them know we're here." 
"All over it." Ren stepped forward, placing one hand touching each of their shoulders. 
Both Riley and Liam opened their eyes in unison looking at each other, feeling a breeze that caused the candles to flicker. Not all, just the ones they lit. 
"Do you smell that?" 
"It almost smells like…" 
"Cotton candy,"  they both said in unison.  
"Really Ren, we come here for them and you use the scent of that horrible cotton candy bubblegum you like." 
"She loves it too. Always the critic Jason Brooks good grief. " 
"Come on, let's go." She took Jason's hand. 
Jason paused one last time  to gaze at Riley with Liam. He had gotten to his feet first, then he held out his hand to help her up. Liam glanced up seeing him. Shock registered in Liam's eyes. 
"He's so much like you Jason. She doesn't remember us, but she found a man just like you.”
"Ren he can see us.”
Ren looked at Liam. He gasped looking at Riley. 
“Riley?  Jelly Bean?”  
“Are you ready to go?'' Riley turned to him, looking at him.  “What’s wrong?” She asked.
“How can he see us and she can’t?”
"I promise I'll  take care of your daughter, until my dying breath." 
“We know.” 
“Tell my jumping Jelly Bean,  I love her to the moon, And back again!" She said. 
Liam nodded.  
Ren gently pulled his arm. 
Riley said something causing him to look at her. 
"What Love?" 
"Can we stop for cronuts?” 
“Whatever you want.”
He glanced back at where her parents were standing and saw them turn, and a shimmer as they faded away.  
He wrapped his arm around Riley walking her out to the SUV.  She had the first real smile he had seen on her face all day.
“You know,  your parents loved you to the moon….
“And back again.” She said softly looking out the window. 
“ God Liam, I really hope someday I can remember the people they were.”
“I hope so too Love, I hope so too.”  
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Note
I need some soft Keith fluff, with maybe an s/o that suffered from a lot of verbal abuse at home? I'm Sorry if that's something you don't feel comfortable doing, I'm having a rough time right now and I think Keith might relate maybe.
Alrighty love- I hope things get better, though! I’m always here if you want somebody to listen~
I hope you enjoy!
————————–In the midnight hours, there was peace. Everything that was once emotionally charged riddled with hate, or anger, had all but drained away, and you lay in your bed.
 Thinking. 
Even a million miles away from Earth, those vile words still haunt you. Threaten you from doing anything else other than pray for night to come, and the dawn away. Because everyone was asleep at night. No one dared to utter or mouth any words during then. 
You did not deserve such insults. Such degrading, horrible words. 
Even now, a million miles away, you still have this habit. It’s practically what you do now. You stay up for as long as you can. Allowing those small, minuscule moments of peace to overcome your being, and for a period of time, you felt okay. You felt better.
You liked that feeling. It was a nice feeling.
Things were slightly different this time around, however. A tug in your stomach had believed you into thinking so. A yearning, so it had seemed. For that warmth that you had never really had felt, that comfort and safety that was all but neglected elsewhere-
You threw off your comforter, and traded in your bare feet for sock covered ones, and made your way towards his room. 
On the nights that those awful memories would never seem to cease, you had done this. The silent communication that was held between the both you, was something that other Paladins could never really give. 
Silence. You liked the silence. Not a lot of things could be done in such a secretive time. 
Ignoring the act of knocking on the door, you simply turned the handle to Keith’s room, only to find him sprawled to one side of the bed, his eyes closed shut, and his chest moving only slightly. He was peacefully asleep.
You had asked him once if this had bothered him, especially when he, too, was finally able to catch a break and rest, but he never argued otherwise. 
You wondered if he liked doing this, too. 
Maybe he has his own reasons for trying to search for comfort. 
In an instant, you had found yourself collapsing onto his bed, trying desperately to be as quiet and as careful as possible, but to no prevail as Keith had slowly popped upon one eye, and whispered, 
“Thinking about it again?”
His voice was soft. So caring and so mild that you swear, you could have fallen into a peaceful rest then. 
You merely nodded, however, searching for his hand to hold. It hurt so much. Guilt, fear, anger, sorrow. They swirled around in your head like a tidal wave of hate, waiting for the dam to break to simply fill you with the feelings of disgust.
His hand had found your grasping one, and he shifts his body towards you as well. 
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Keith asks, though you never say yes to the question he never seems to forget to ask. 
“No-not…really…” You answered back calmly, fighting back the words that scrambled in your mind, and ran rampant through your heart. 
Tears pricked the corners of your eyes. No more no more no more you had chanted to them, hoping they would go away, and leave you alone.
“That’s alright, doll, that’s okay,” Keith reassures, “Tell me when you’re good and ready, yeah?”
“…Y-yeah…”
Silence had consumed the dark, warm room. And for a moment in time, it felt like everything was on standstill. 
Keith was warm. He was kind. There was no hint r a trace of what had possessed him in the day. It was during the cover of darkness, did his true colors shine. 
You felt safe in his arms. The indescribable pain that comes from those horrific memories that flash through your mind, was no match for the power of its opposite blooming-
Young love. 
“Do you...do you love me?” You whispered to your partner. You couldn’t tell if those words were from your own feelings or not, but it was spontaneous,
“B-because I...I love you.”
...
....
.....
“I...I love you, Y/n,” Keith had finally broken the silence, “It’s going to be okay. I know it will- you...you don’t have to respond. I don’t want you to if you don’t b-but I...”
He pauses for a moment, searching for the right words,
“...I love everything about you.”
Keith ended his confession with the soft, and subtle words, 
“Good night, Y/n.”
-And for the first time in a long time, you had slept through the night in peace.  
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