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reeniecon · 2 months

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- GENERAL LILIA -

" I'm sure you didn't want a monster like me inside your house any longer, right? "

Warning: chapter 7 light spoilers, bad grammar, not proofread, general Lilia, and war lol a little OOC of you squinted.

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- readers povs -

You can hear it's raining hard outside your cabin, the water droplets one by one crashing to your roof. the weather has been very bad lately it's either raining or thunderstorms. Because of the weather, your garden is not doing very well...

Because of the wind, your fence is falling down. 'oh great' you thought to yourself and went outside to fix it.

while you fix your fallen fence you hear a strange sound and you decide to find out what it is. your eyes widen, shocked by the scene you have encountered

It was a fae... And he was hurt quite badly, it seemed that he had fainted for some time by now.

Without any thought, you brought him inside. Oh, how lucky that he is not too far away from your house and not too heavy....

' oh god, what have I done... Bringing a stranger inside my house, and not only that... He was a fae! ' you thought to yourself and cannot help but sigh at the situation you're in right now.

'but no matter what I have to save him' You're determined to save him, so you clean his wounds and patch them.

Some time has passed since then but the unknown fae haven't woken up, you're quite worried about it...

- Lilia povs -

" Tch, those silver owls didn't know when to stop!" He hissed while running through the deep forest

" CHATCH HIM!! " Silver Owl A says to his teams followed by " That is Lilia vanrouge we have to catch him while we finally get the chance to!!! " They scream.

" Dang it stop being so loud!! " He screams back to them, Lilia can't fight all of them with his injured body not to mention 7 vs 1 is a really bad idea.

" WHERE IS HIM?? " the captain of silver owls screamed.

" AGRHHH!! REALLY WE LOST HIM AGAIN, YOU. FIND HIM NOW! " he ordered his subordinates

" Finally" Lilia mumbled to himself. 'So tired' he thought after that Lilia's vision blurred just like that.

' ugh...the ground is so soft I don't want to leave, huh- THE GROUND ARE SOFT' he processed to wake up from his long sleep, and was startled by his wound had been treated, with caution he observed his body and the surrounding area looking out the glass window he can conclude that he has been not very far away from the last chase, trying to open the windows to escape from whatever situation he was on right now

But he failed miserably in the windows wouldn't open no matter what... He can break it of course but, he cannot break windows that belong to his unknown helper...

The door opened slowly, and there they stood the human that helped him.

" Oh you've finally awakened, do you want soup I just made? I'll get some for you if u want " You told him and asked

In return, Lilia just stared at you observing you from beside the window looking at you up and down ' Oh a human' he thought to himself and smiled

" No, it's okay I'll get going now, thank you for helping me" He replied with a business smile

" Are you sure you didn't want a meal before you go? " You asked once again.

" Yeah I'm sure " He clarify

" I'm sure you didn't want a monster like me inside your house any longer" He said with a mean expression but in a melancholy tone.

"Huh? " Is the only reply that you can utter right now

" I'm sorry that I've troubled you for the past I-don't-know-how-long, but thank you for treating me, and I'm sure that I will pay you back in the future" He stated.

" Mr. Fae? " You called him.

" Yeah? Is my offer too small for you? "

" No no, you don't have to repay me I just wanted to save you that day and I didn't think of any payback from you...And I don't mind having you in my house... Don't worry !! So you can have your soup if you want to? "

His face flushed with embarrassment.

'how can I think it that way!! ' he thought to himself while lowering his head because of the embarrassment he felt...

" Ehem! Sorry for the misunderstanding...and I would like to have dinner with you.. My apologies for thinking bad about you... "

After that, you two have dinner together and you will nonstop hear Lilia apologizing to you the entire evening.

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An: I'm starting to use Grammarly LMAO I hope my grammar mistakes will be smaller this time hehe

#twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland lilia #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst #twst x reader #general lilia

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beevean · 2 years

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Thoughts on Castlevania: Leon's not very nice evening?

The more I played Lament of Innocence, the less I liked it.

Lament of Innocence feels like an odd blend of Classicvanias, Igavanias, and the hack ‘n’ slash games of the time, DMC1 in particular (say hello to fixed cameras).

The plot is interesting, but there are some issues. Leon is set to save his girlfriend Sara from the clutches of the evil vampire Walter, so far so good. Some bosses leave hints at something that has happened in the past, like the Succubus being responsible for the death of Rinaldo's daughter, or Joachim who is a vampire who rebelled to Walter (I suspect that he was meant to be far more important, considering that he's an unlockable character lol)...

The first twist is that Sara was “tainted” (very uncomfortable implications there...), and Leon can’t even kill Walter to save her because his whip is “incomplete”: coincidentially, Sara’s tainted soul would complete it and make it super powerful. Okay, poor Leon who went through this journey for nothing but I really can’t feel bad for Sara lol. This is Iris all over again. At least Sara became the source of power of the infamous Vampire Killer - it would have been cool if we saw her in, for example, Portrait of Ruin when Jonathan fought Richter inside the whip.

Then Walter was used by Death, who is under the control of Mathias, Leon's friend who was only mentioned before. Okay? I don't know him. I don't feel betrayed. I was more curious to hear why Death serves the owner of this Crimson Stone.

Then we discover that Mathias became Dracula because his wife died, and... really? We don’t even hear of this wife before, we don’t see her, and also this is literally what happens in SOTN! At least with Lisa (really, the same name too) we know that she was killed by humans, Elizabeth... died. This is the great motivation of the main antagonist of the series.

I liked Leon in that scene, though. Mathias sought eternal life to spite God; Leon thinks an eternal life without Sara would only be painful, and would rather honor her final wish. He plays a good contrast to the antagonist. I like him and his cute hair :)

So yeah, the plot felt like it missed something, but overall, it was enjoyable. Even the voice acting wasn't bad! Now onto the gameplay.

The castle is essentially made of 5 dungeons, plus the final area. You can access the main dungeons at anytime, and you only need powerups for optional content. This means that there’s no real difficulty progression, but you can also customize your adventure everytime you play (the more correct order would be based on the keys you find, but again, they’re optional). Although, maybe it’s my impression, but some dungeons are definitely harder than others: the Garden Forgotten by Time was a cakewalk, compared to the Dark Palace of Waterfalls that I had tackled previously.

The level design complements the style. The maps are nicely laid out, and it’s easy to orient yourself, even with the repeated assets. There are just a little too many empty, repetead corridors, though. Very rarely the maps take advantage of the 3rd dimension: at best the entrance is up a ledge... at worst you’ll fall down a floor lol. But it works.

So, for now, the game is doing fine. I was having fun! ... then problems started to become bigger and bigger...

The biggest issue for me was that the controls are stiff. Leon doesn’t jump very high or very far, and once he does, his trajectory is locked in - you can only change direction by double jumping. There’s very little platforming here, but what little there is is annoying, not helped by the lack of depth perception that you’d need for these challenges because of the fixed camera. The electric fence puzzle in the House of Sacred Remains, the wall blocks puzzle in the Anti-Soul Mystery Lab, the dark room puzzle in the Ghostly Theatre, they were all very irritating. I gave up on fighting the Frost Elemental because the blind, perspective-less jumps you have to make are just unnecessary, the way you fall down at every mistake reminds me way too much of Catwoman for PS2 for my tolerance, and the idea that if I had died to the boss I would have had had to redo the whole thing again... no. Sorry Whip of Ice, you aren’t worth this. (I could have gotten the Whip of Fire, but by that point I was just done and didn't want to see any platforming ever again :\)

Combat is... repetitive. You have two buttons for attacking, a focused weak attack and a swiping strong attack (it feels like it should be the other way around, but no big deal), and you have to unlock new moves simply by attacking. It works, but at first it feels like busywork. Sometimes you can skip enemies, since the only incentive you have to fight them is money (you don’t level up, you buy or find better equipment)... but since this is a 2003 game, sometimes it likes to lock you in typical “kill all enemies to proceed” scenarios. It’s very arbitrary. It also happens if you revisit old rooms. Some of the moves you unlock are pretty effective, though, I especially like the diving kick that can hit bigger enemies multiple times, and that move that makes enemies fly in the air.

(also, I don’t understand why you can only select items in a secondary menu screen that doesn’t pause the game. What if I needed a break to find my potions?)

What makes it a bit better is something that I discovered by accident :P the orbs aren’t there just to be used as keys, you can equip them, and it changes how the subweapons work! They cost more hearts, obviously, but 7 orbs (5 collected after defeating the main bosses, 1 to be found, 1 as a prize for defeating the gruesome bonus boss) for 5 subweapons equals 35 attacks to experiment with! That is really, really cool :)

The bosses are also enjoyable. Only the Succubus gave me some trouble, but the others were all the perfect difficulty and had nice strategies. The dodge mechanic is fun to exploit but isn't completely broken. The double combo of Walter and Death was intimidating at first (also, hi Death, I'm glad you finally managed to become the final boss!), but I genuinely had fun fighting both of them. Easily the highlight of the game.

But back to the nitpicking... Exploration was another gripe I had. It’s boring, Leon isn’t particularly fast, and there are no warp rooms - the closest thing would be a ticket that sends you to the last save you used and a ticket that sends you to Rinaldo's cabin - it's an efficient combo if you feel like stacking up before a boss fight. Add the issues of forced combat and insufferable “platforming”, and exploring areas for optional content is just demotivating. Speaking of which, the game can be very stingy with save rooms - why isn’t there one near the Succubus arena? Was it really necessary to put it on the floor above? Same with the Frost Elemental, although in that case you can say that it’s optional.

Even the finale was somewhat underwhelming. It goes like this:

go to the second floor

go to the east wing and get the VI tablet

go to the central hallway and reverse the tablet

go to the east wing and put the now IV tablet in place

go to the central hallway to face Walter

While in the meantime, tanky enemies block your way. Not exactly the deepest design. You can choose to visit the even harder west wing for a Health Up and the Unlock Jewel, but it’s optional. (I know that there is a room similar to the dark room in the Ghostly Theatre, and honestly, never again)

Where the games shines is the aesthetic. The game looks good for its time, with plenty of details that enhance the atmosphere. From the holy chapel with stained windows, to the luxurious theater, to the floors covered in water, the game is very pretty and isn't ashamed of thinking so. The PS2 graphics feel nostalgic to me too (I was constantly reminded of Hogwarts), so maybe I'm biased. In particular I like the look of the save rooms, they really feel like small sanctuaries for you to rest. Even the models of the humans are pretty good all things considered, although in the pause menu Leon looks like he hasn’t slept since he was born lol

But the music... boy. Michiru Yamane could finally unleash her whole talent, unrestrained by MIDI sounds, and the absolute job that she did <3

You know what you’re getting into when the entrance theme, usually an upbeat track, is a one woman wail

House of Sacred Remains keeps the tradition of beautiful chapel themes. It’s as peaceful as Requiem for the Gods :)

Statue Enchanted by Darkness has huge Berserk 1997 vibes, what a contrast from the previous track

ah yes, my favorite 11th century style music. rave. Something about it reminds me of Letz Get This Party Started from Sonic Adventure and I don’t know how to feel about that.

Ghostly Theatre is as elegant and somber as the abandoned theatre itself

Dark Palace of Waterfalls is like Michiru Yamane listened to Crystal Waterdrops and realized that she could now work with real instruments. dat organ tho <3

Garden Forgotten by Time is not what I expected from a greenhouse environment, but for some reason it feels the most SOTN track

its companion piece, Fog Enshrouded Nightscape, is just so pretty <3

Dark Night Toccata is almost wasted for such an easy boss

And finally, Lament of Innocence is clearly the masterpiece of the whole OST. When I got to the second floor of the Pagoda and this played, I went like “oh ho ho, now we’re talking!”. Shred that classic piano <3 Michiru said “A piece that shows Leon's grief and anger”, and yes it is. Love how the theme of the protagonist plays near the end of the game, rather than at the beginning like in most games - he got his theme after a great amount of grief. Also, is it me, or is the part at 1:34 reminiscent of Dracula’s theme in Super Castlevania IV? I hope it's intentional because I am in love.

Bonus: the three arrangements from Aria of Sorrow, because they slapped with the GBA soundfont so imagine with actual instruments. The Cross of Fate is how Ruined Castle Corridor was meant to sound, Requiem for the Dark Soul hits much harder than the original Chapel, and Holy Cross Obsessed by the Moon (should be “possessed”, but no matter) lacks Top Floor's catchy piano but makes it up in finality.

So, did I hate the game? No, I may have been negative overall, but I don't think it's that bad. I would say that it's better than Megaman Legends, which truly made me furious for its terrible controls. This one was just... undercooked? I could see the ambition in creating a 3D Castlevania game that would satisfy both fans of the Classics and fans of the Igavanias, but something is missing. I can tell that Igarashi wasn't well versed in designing a 3D game. I'll take it as a relic of the time and an interesting origin story.

#castlevania #lament of innocence

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silverlightqueen · 4 years

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SKZ Scarefest

District 9, everybody knows, is the most progressive district around. Technologically, politically, economically, legislatively, District 9 has developed at a much quicker speed than those districts that border it. But nobody thinks of District 9 in those terms - of course not. It’s known for its people. Or, perhaps a more fitting term would be, its inhabitants. For it’s very likely that those you may pass on the streets of District 9 are not like you and I. Not quite people at all.

ot8!skz x reader ft. itzy and various other idols, check individual fics for themes and warnings.

a/n: hey guys! I’m sorry that I’ve been completely silent recently, I’ve just been so busy with work and university etc but I’m back with a spooky little treat! I’ve recently gotten into Stray Kids and they’ve taken a special place in my heart, so I thought I’d celebrate it with this cute little series. I really hope you guys enjoy reading these fics as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them. thank you to @silverlightprincess for proofreading all my work for me, I love you! x

silverlightqueen navigation

Moonlight

y/n likes the night shifts at the diner. She rarely gets any customers coming in, so it’s peaceful, and she can even sneak in a nap from time to time. But not tonight. No, probably not best to nap when, in the early hours of the morning, a pack of wolves walk in looking like hell.

werewolf!Chan x human!reader - comedy, fluff, very mild mentions of violence and gore, alpha Chan being soft

Prince of Hell

‘It’s just a bit of fun, to get us in the mood for Halloween! Nothing’s gonna come from it!’ Ryujin had said. And now there’s a Prince of Hell raiding y/n’s fridge.

demonprince!Minho x human!reader - comedy, sexual conversation, mild threat, slight corruption kink lmao

My Love is Come to Me

y/n’s a troublemaker. Everyone who’s ever met her knows that well. However... y/n’s definition of trouble isn’t quite what you’d expect. But what’s the harm in messing with humans? Hurting them a little? Or hurting them a lot? It’s only a bit of fun, right? Changbin doesn’t seem to think so.

demonhunter!Changbin x demonprincess!reader - comedy, angst, gore and violence, reader is a total bad bitch and Changbin is just tired™️

Blood Lust

Having a part time job whilst at university is standard, right? Babysitting, bartending, retail, hospitality? Well, y/n’s job is a little... different. Or maybe a lot different. Depends on whether you find being a hot vampire’s personal blood bag weird or not.

vampire!hyunjin x human!reader - smutty smut smut lmao, fluff, a little bit of angst ig, fwb type vibe except the benefits include Hyunjin feeding on y/n lol

Satiate

y/n needs to lose her virginity before her date with Sex God Seonghwa, and what better way than to enlist the help of a soft dom sex demon? Except the soft dom was fully booked, so she got a hard dom sex demon instead. But it’ll be totally fine. Right?

incubus!Jisung x human!reader - smut again, a little bit of comedy and fluff, jisung tries his hardest to be soft but it’s a struggle bc he wants to corrupt y/n lol I’m a slut for corruption kink

Fallen

Felix is an angel. Literally. Like, from Heaven. And he’s the best at being one. Never has he let temptation lead him astray. Never has he stopped before doing what is right. Never has he abandoned his assigned humans, even those that provide the most challenge. He’s never stepped a toe out of line, always kept his crush on a particularly annoying demon a secret. That is, until, he wakes up in the bed of said annoying demon with lipstick stains on his skin and his halo a little crooked.

angel!felix x demon!reader - discussion of sex but no actual smut, comedy, fluff, felix is more worried about losing his job as an angel than anything else lmao

Cursed

Seungmin is the best wizard in town. Poisoned by a pixie? Battered by a troll? Bitten by a were? Whatever the magical injury, Seungmin can fix it in the bat of an eyelid. So when y/n is cursed by a witch and needs his help, she expects to leave his lair curseless only a few minutes later. But her plan... doesn’t quite go to plan.

wizard!Seungmin x human!reader - comedy, y/n’s a bit of a spoilt brat and Seungmin is not down for it lol

Writing’s on the Wall

y/n’s job as a real estate agent has always been easy. Selling houses in District 9 has never been particularly difficult - people line up to live in the famed ‘Spooky City’ - and y/n just has the gift of the gab, meaning she’s got the highest number of sales in the company. But one house, she just can’t seem to shift. It could be the tiny box room on the third floor, or the slightly beaten down garden fence, or the ghost that scares away every family that comes to view the house. Yeah, it’s probably the ghost.

ghost!Jeongin x human!reader - comedy, angst, Jeongin will stop at nothing to make sure no one moves into his house and y/n is tired of it

Monsters

Jackson’s (in)famous Halloween party is finally here, after months of being hyped up, anticipated, and labelled ‘the Party of the Year’. He’s invited everyone who’s anyone - the guestlist is exclusive to say the least. Werewolves and vampires, wizards and witches, angels and demons (and demon hunters), living creatures and dead; magical folk of all kind are on their way to Jackson’s party on All Hallows Eve. Oh, and a few humans too.

ot8magicalcreature!skz x readers from all 8 fics - comedy, fluff, angst, basically just tying up the loose ends from all the fics with the setting of Jackson’s famed party lol

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awhiskeyriver · 3 years

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PSST AMELIA (i have hit the level of comfort where i feel i can scream at you, oop) TELL ME UR BETTY THOUGHTS.... also me too, i really wanna write stories based of Taylor's songs all the time. there's a whole subset of tumblr ask game called like, taylor universes, where we personify songs and on God it's my favorite (i wish i had more swifties in my ranks or i'd host one)

LOL, you can always scream at me! Oh man, that sounds seriously so fun! I would love to personify one of her (or all of her, lol) songs and turn them into stories. She has such a vivid way of writing music it begs to be seen in story form, lol.

Okay so....you may regret asking me for my Folklore thoughts, LOL. This is long and it might make absolutely no sense to anyone other than me but I hope that’s not the case!

Obviously **I know this isn’t true and wasn’t Taylor’s point at all** I’m just a writer and things spin out of control in my head and...yeah...basically this is how I’ve managed to link (almost) all of the songs in Folklore together into one story line of James/Betty/August.

The story begins with in the song Betty, towards the end of Junior year, at the prom.

//I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym. I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.//

I think James has anxiety of some sort [more to come on that later] and in my mind, Betty is more charismatic, maybe even casually popular not in the core group of popular girls but very well-liked and known around the school. Editor of the school paper, ran for student president, etc. Meanwhile James is more low-key, out of the limelight, and the idea of being in such a large crowd dancing gave him anxiety which is why he said no. Seeing her dancing with someone else (even innocently), made him feel worse about himself and his insecurities as well as a little mad at her for not standing with him, but choosing to go dance with friends [‘him’] instead.

So, he left the dance early [walking home on broken cobblestones] when August sees him [when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intention. She said, James get in let’s drive. Those days turned into nights. Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.]

Personally, I think James only officially cheated on Betty once. The night of the dance with August. August is a more overtly popular; more obvious beauty that is noticed by many boys, maybe a cheerleader, etc. Many people think this popularity instantly equates with happiness, but she’s not happy, actually suffers from self esteem issues and the pressure to conform [Mirrorball: I can change everything about me to fit in]. But James doesn’t ‘oogle’ her or treat her the way typical guys she dates or fucks do, so she’s attracted to him. They kind of bring out this excitement in each other that Betty and the other guys in August’s life don’t. [Mirrorball: I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight. I’ll get you out on the floor- August can pull James out of his shell in ways that Betty can’t]. This is maybe a more “obvious” song link to make, but also how in Mirrorball it’s talked about “spinning in my highest heels love, shining just for you.” And in Cardigan, when Betty is describing August “high heels on cobblestones.”

ANYWAYS. James feels mad guilty about what happened between August and him, swears her to secrecy, but the weight of the secret weighs on him. At the end of the year, he tells Betty he thinks they should take a break over the summer, so they do. August and James continue to talk, first through platforms like Instagram, commenting on a photo or story, then it turns into constant talking, to texting, to hanging out and inevitably having more sex. For James, it’s a vice of sorts. He feels guilty, he wants to forget that feeling meanwhile August is starting to develop Feelings™. [entire song of August, obviously, but lines like “you were never mine.// your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it. ] To her, James is also developing feelings for her and wants to be with her. [I remember thinking I had you. Wanting was enough, for me it was enough.] But as the summer starts to end, things become more squirrely between the two of them, and the feeling of being James’ side piece starts to sink in more, and the more she begins to lose him, the more desperate she is to hold onto him. [August: cancel plans just in case you call and say meet me behind the mall. Illicit Affairs: Leave the perfume on the shelf that you picked out just for him so you leave no trace behind, like you don’t even exist.// A drug that only worked the first few hundred times.// what started in beautiful rooms ends in meeting in parking lots.]

It comes to a head at the end of (the month of) August, as summer is ending and the new school year is approaching when James tells August he wants to get back together with Betty and what happened between them meant nothing to him. [Betty: Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.] August is rightfully hurt, embarrassed and angry [Illicit Affairs: Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby look at this godforsaken mess that you made me. You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else. Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby look at this idiotic fool that you made me. You taught me a secret language I can’t speak with anyone else.// And you know damn well, for you I would ruin myself a million little times. Peace: All these people think love’s for show, but I would die for you in secret. Mirrorball: When I break it’s in a million pieces.]

So, senior year begins. Betty and James gets back together. August goes back to the way she was previous to her summer with James, but truly she is broken. Can’t even look at him. The guilt and stress of August is still eating at James, but he’s trying to forge ahead with Betty and the two of them grow stronger and closer throughout the first part of the school year. August’s friend, Inez, obviously notices her downfall, but August continues to allude to “the guy she met over the summer” without saying names. One drunken night, she slips and says James, and Inez being the gossip she is is like w h a t. [Peace: Your integrity makes me seem small.// I talk with shit with my friends, it’s like I’m wasting your honor.// And you know that I’d swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches. Give you my wild, give you a child.// Give you my sunshine, give you my best. But the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me.] August forgets about the conversation [she was drunk], but Inez doesn’t and can’t help herself but go to Betty and tell the rumor she heard about James fucking August. Betty, being a newspaper editor, doesn’t believe her without gathering up facts. But as she’s piecing things together, Inez’s story begins to make sense. She confronts James about it, who reluctantly admits to everything.

Betty, of course is devastated and heartbroken. The boy she trusted the most, her first love, wasn’t at all who she thought he was. [Cardigan: you drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.] And the fact that he didn’t just come clean and tell her after the first time, but continued to cover it up (and keep seeing August) is unforgivable. [Cardigan: tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy--Betty is ready to grow up, think about college, think about life, meanwhile James is clinging to the excuse that he is ‘only seventeen’ [(Betty) Would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing?], refusing to grow up and own his mistakes.

Betty breaks things off with James. James hates August thinking she did it on purpose. Betty hates them both. August kind of does too.

[August- Mad Woman: Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy and when you say I get angry, I get more angry.]

[Betty- Cardigan: A friend to all is a friend to none, chase two girls lose the one.//When you are young they assume you know nothing.]

After months of being broken up, James is still not over Betty and tries one last time to win her back at her graduation party before she leaves for college. [Betty, I’m here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but it’s finally sinking in. Betty right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when I see your face again. The only thing I want to do is make it up to you. So I showed up at your party]. The end of the song, where he’s talking about kissing in her car again, etc is him building their makeup up in his mind, psyching himself up for confronting her because he thinks it will all pay off.

Betty is shocked to see him, as is everyone else at the party, they’d become something of a spectacle, she brings him outside in the garden to talk in privacy without everyone interjecting or staring. Jame’s apology comes in ‘This is me trying’ where he’s trying to explain his actions more logically than placing blame on everyone and everything else, from Betty. [I don’t quite know what to say, but I’m here in your doorway. // They told me all of my cages were mental (the fact that he has anxiety, etc) so I got wasted like all my potential//pouring my heart out to a stranger, but I didn’t pour the whiskey (his and August’s first encounter/cheating incident after Prom). But “this is him trying, at least he’s trying...it’s hard to be at a party when [he] feels like an open wound” and quite honestly, “it’s hard [for him] to be anything these days when all [he] wants is [Betty]. It’s a great apology, he wears his heart on his sleeve, but Betty doesn’t want to fix things between him, she wants to move on. It was too difficult for her to get over him once, she can’t open herself up to trusting him again. [Cardigan: I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs.// I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standing in my front porch light.]

Betty leaves for college.

A few years away in college has caused some healing for Betty and some insight into life outside of her small town and high school boyfriend [The One: If you never bleed you’re never going to grow, but it’s alright now]. But when she’s talking with her mom and something comes up about James, thoughts and feeling she hasn’t felt in years come racing back. She can’t help but wonder how things might’ve turned out if things didn’t end how they did because as much as she hates to admit it, she’ll always love James in some way. [We were something, don’t you think so?// if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.// it would’ve been fun if you would’ve been the one.// I persist and resist the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different (if he hadn’t slept with August) would everything be different today?.// You know the greatest films of all time were never made.] [My Tears Ricochet: And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.]

***Now, things get a little more dicey here not as tight, lol but bear with me***

Betty comes home after graduation from college and runs into James. They’re cordial and nice and when James asks if they can get dinner and catch up, Betty agrees. They have a good evening, reconnect a little, but when they go riding and drive to some familiar places from their childhood, past hard conversations re-arise. It brings a lot of unwelcomed emotions back up in Betty, and she realizes it’s harder than she thought it would be to forgive James. [The One: the greatest films of all time were never made. Exile: I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending.] Meanwhile, James just wants to forgive and forget the past, after all, they were kids, only seventeen. His hurt comes from the fact that after he tried to patch things up after graduation, not only did Betty dismiss him and leave, but she never reached out or spoke to him again. [Exile: It took you five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me with it. Holding all this love out here in the hall.] He came to the front porch/door to try and fix things with her, and she “left out the side door.”

Betty [My Tears Ricochet: Even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you, til my dying day. // And I still talk to you (while I’m screaming at the sky) and when you can’t sleep at night (you hear my stolen lullabies)// Hoax: My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my winless fight this has frozen my ground.]

Hoax is where things come to a head with Betty and James. [Stood on the cliffside screaming, “Give me a reason. Your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in. // You knew it still hurts underneath my scars, from when they pulled me apart. But what you did was just dark.]

Mad Woman continues as August finds out that Betty and James get back together, and cannot get over it. She never got over James either. Only her sadness turns to anger. [Now I breathe flames each time I talk. // They say “move on” but you know I won’t.// It’s obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.]

Invisible String comes when Betty and James are in a stable, happy place in their relationship again. Possibly engaged for marriage. [Time, mystical time, cutting me open then healing me fine.// Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire. Chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons. One single thread of gold tied me to you.// Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven.]

And, I like to think that August did eventually move on and found someone who appreciates her and truly loves her, isn’t just using her for revenge, or because she’s hot, or because they’re trying to forget their own problems. But someone who actually values her for herself. (Invisible String: Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart. Now I send their babies presents.)

AGAIN, this is obviously just my own theory/fun. Not meant to be taken seriously. Hope you enjoyed!

#archersandsunsets #i am exhausted now lmao #folklore #t swift #song analysis #writing

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travelingtheusa · 5 years

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NEW YORK

14 Nov 2019 (Thu) – I was invited to participate in the Veteran’s Day ceremony on November 11th with the American Legion post. We went to two sites to perform a formal ceremony then held a public ceremony at the Veterans Park next to town hall. About 50 people showed up; mostly veterans. There was a young man from the high school who sang the National Anthem that had the most beautiful, angelic voice. After the ceremony, everyone was invited to the Post for hot dogs and hamburgers.

On Wednesday, November 13th, members of the Post were invited to the local schools. First, we went to the high school and participated in a panel. We each described our service experience but ran out of time for questions from the kids. The students all came in with jackets and back packs which made me think they were getting off the bus and immediately directed to the auditorium.

After an hour at the high school, we went to the Maud Sherwood elementary school. We were directed to the end of a long hallway while the students (grades 2 through 5) lined up along the walls. Then we walked down the hall with the kids clapping, waving flags, and giving us high fives. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. It was great! We had a continental breakfast (courtesy of the PTA), then we split up into groups of three (there were nine of us there), and we went into 5th grade classrooms to talk with the kids. They had prepared questions followed by freewheeling questions. Some were very insightful. The day was quite delightful.

Following the school, I went directly to Toast Coffeehouse in Patchogue to meet my sister, Susan, for lunch. The food in that place is awesome! We had a very pleasant visit and said our goodbyes. She invited me to stay with her when I come back to New York for a checkup.

At 6:00 p.m., we had Miranda, Kenny, and Caiden come over for a Thanksgiving dinner. Since we won’t be here on Thanksgiving Day, we took an opportunity to celebrate together early. The food and company were all very nice. Caiden is such a delightful little boy.

Today, I had a visit with the oncologist. I took a CT scan on Tuesday and this visit was to find out the results. It was great news! Many of the lymph nodes are half their size now. I am responding beautifully to the chemotherapy. The nurse did a nose swab because I said I thought I had something brewing. They wanted to make sure I don’t have the flu or pneumonia. The doctor then gave me three months before coming back for a checkup. Woohoo!!! We are cleared to hit the road!

9 Nov 2019 (Sat) – We took Caiden and a friend to an amusement area today. We wanted to take him to BounceU in Nesconset but when we arrived, they had birthday parties going on and no open play. So we drove another half hour to Huntington only to discover we were in the wrong town. After a total of about an hour’s driving time with two very impatient six years olds in the back seat, we arrived at @Play Adventures in Farmingdale. It was a delightful afternoon for the boys – three hours of bounces, rides, and games. Afterward, we stopped at McDonald’s for lunch. The boys had a great time.

Miranda’s best friend’s grandmother passed away. She had the funeral and lunch this morning (hence, we were watching Caiden). Later, she went back to the house for a memorial dinner with the family. I went back into the house to watch Caiden until she and Kenny got back home.

Yesterday, we went shopping at Kohl’s. They were advertising 30% discount for veterans. We spent too much money and it turned out that some items were not eligible for the discount. Apparently, the manufacturer tells the store they can’t discount their products. Somehow, that seems dishonest. Kohl’s advertises taking the discount but then doesn’t do it. We bought a new toaster oven with 11 functions (will I really ever use all of them?) that was advertised at $249.99. The clerk rang it up at $349.99 at the register. We had to go to customer service for the correction and it turned out we bought the Pro, with was $100 more. AND there was no 30% discount on it!!

6 November 2019 (Wed – Paul’s Birthday) – It’s been a busy week. We saw a lawyer to have our wills updated. She gave us homework to do – lol. It is hard to decide who your health care proxy and power of attorney should be. Doing a will is an eye-opening event. It makes you face your mortality. Ugh.

The American Legion post hosted their annual Law & Order dinner. They honored firemen, two harbormasters, and a police officer who pulled a car off the train tracks minutes before a train rolled through. One of the firemen was honored for 70 years of service as a volunteer fire fighter with Islip. It turned out that he was Paul’s cousin! He knew Paul’s mother in high school and served with Paul’s grandfather in the department (his grandfather was a fire chief). We exchanged information and promised to look each other up this winter when we are down in Florida.

I took my laptop to Best Buy for tweaking. The tech did not find any viruses. I saw a gastroenterologist on Monday and had a mammogram on Wednesday. I took Paul to the Irish Coffee Pub for his birthday. They make the very best potato soup anywhere.

31 October 2019 (Thu - HALLOWEEN) – I had lunch with my daughter, Gina, on Tuesday. We went to a place called Tula’s Kitchen. It’s one of those very eclectic health food restaurants that are popping up all over the country. The food was quite good. On Wednesday, I had lunch with my sister, Susan. We went to another eclectic place called Tiger Lily. Again, the food was very good.

We had Angel Fence Company come by and we signed a contract for a fence installation along the back of the property. This it to replace the fence that was damaged during the thunderstorm that rolled through in August. I sent the estimate to USAA and they already paid off on it – BEFORE we had the work done. I sent a note reminding them it was an estimate and it could wind up costing more depending on what they find when they do the actual installation.

I spent over two and half hours on the phone in the last two days with Carbonite. It is a cloud storage service where they back up our computer to the cloud. When my computer was reset, we lost the program. It would not reinstall properly and I had to get techs to work on the problem. Apparently, it wasn’t such an easy fix but they finally got it done.

Today, Paul and I went to the movies to see “The Current Wars.” It was about the competition among Nikola Tesla, George Westinghouse, and Thomas Edison. The movie was very interesting and we would highly recommend it.

27 October 2019 (Sun) – It was a busy week. I watched Lincoln two days this week so Sam could get some extra time in at work. He is such a pleasant baby. Always smiling. Travis started his new job on Wednesday. Hope it goes well for him. Also on Wednesday, we went to the ophthalmologist for eye exams. Paul and I both tested out at 20/25. The doctor saw some pressure behind my left eye and wants me back in six months. I’ll see if I can align an appointment with a Sloan Kettering checkup down the road.

We went to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with friends from the American Legion on Wednesday. Then we went to dinner at Carrabba’s on Friday with my brother, Dennis, and his lady, Denise. We had planned to meet them at their apartment before going to dinner but the plans changed. Dennis & Denise recently moved into their new place and we still want to see it.

We took Travis and the family to a pumpkin farm yesterday. It was a small farm but not very busy considering this is the last weekend before Halloween. They had a play area with bouncy houses and lots of pumpkins to choose from. There was also a hay ride and a pony taking kids for a ride.

We went to church this morning. It was laity Sunday so the service was run by the lay leader. Several of us took part in the service doing readings and leading prayer. I gave a five minute sermon. It was a nice service.

21 October 2019 (Mon) – I went to the audiologist at the Northport VA on the 18th. The doctor found a mild hearing loss in my right ear and a moderate hearing loss in my left ear. She said it was unusual to have a greater loss in one ear over the other and that I needed to see a doctor to be sure there was not a medical reason for the difference. She offered to make an appointment at the VA but said I probably wouldn’t get an appointment for two or three months. We agreed that I would go to a civilian doctor because I could get an appointment sooner. In the meantime, she would order one hearing aid for my left ear (she said I don’t need one for the right ear). She also gave me information to download an app for the hearing aid onto my iPhone.

I saw a civilian audiologist yesterday. He insisted on giving me another hearing test. The results were more symmetrical and he cleared me for the hearing aid. He suggested I get aids for both ears; the VA doctor refuses to do that. If I bought the hearing aids at the civilian audiology office, it would cost me $6,000. Actually, $3,000. My insurance would pay $3,000 toward the cost. If I got the hearing aids at the VA, it will cost me nothing. Guess what I’m doing?

Miranda and Kenny went to Philly for the weekend and we watched Caiden. We took him to Rise of the Jack O’Lanterns at Old Westbury Gardens on Friday. They carve 5,000 pumpkins every week for six weeks. Visitors walk down a trail lined with thousands of pumpkins on display along the walkway. Several pumpkins had projections that had them singing Halloween songs. The craftsmanship was simply amazing!

On Saturday, we went over to the American Legion Hall where we met Samantha and her mother, Sharon. Together, we set up tables and arranged everything for Lincoln’s baptism party the next day. On Sunday, Lincoln Alexander Thomas was baptized. Afterward, we enjoyed a party at the legion hall. Lincoln was SO good. He smiled and laughed all day and then just quietly went to sleep in my arms. Not one little tear or fuss escaped him all day.

16 October 2019 (Weds) – Another visit to the doctor brought mixed results. The bloodwork continues to show a decrease in the cancer cells. However, I am having some adverse effects from the chemo. I have a rash on my leg and a drying out of my fingertips. Neuropathy and cellulitis are common side effects. The doctor told me to stop the Imbruvica for 3 days. If the rash hasn’t improved, stay off the medication for 5 days. If there is still no improvement, I have to go back and have him treat me topically. I’ve been doing so well that I find this to be something of a disappointment. The rash has been getting better so that keeps me hopeful.

My birthday was on Monday (October 14) and Paul took me to the Texas Roadhouse for dinner. I took a picture with a margarita at an angle that made the drink look very large. We have kind of developed a reputation with the margaritas and now find we have to post pictures of these drinks. It’s kind of funny.

We are still waiting for the guy behind us to take down two trees that threaten our property. Three fence companies have given us quotes for a new fence but we won’t do anything until those trees are taken down. A good windstorm will blow them down and damage the new fence. We’ll have to go over there for a third time to ask them to take down those trees. I don’t want to get into sending registered letters threatening legal action like the insurance company is suggesting we do. Paul thinks the neighbor just can’t afford to pay for a tree removal. Hmmmm, what to do. What to do?

13 October 2019 (Sun) - We took Caiden to church with us today. Afterward, Paul worked with a crew to take apart a piano that needed to be thrown out. Jan has been advertising the piano for free to anyone but no one has claimed it so it was time to just throw it out. Caiden and I played in the nursery area until they were finished.

It was not a good day for me. I woke feeling exhausted and nauseous. At 3:00 p.m., Paul spelled me for an hour and I took a nap. That was probably one of the best naps I have ever had. I really needed that! After I woke, I made dinner then took Caiden into the house and gave him a bath.

On Friday, we went to an optometrist for eye exams. I got annoyed with the whole thing. The doctor was pushy and it seemed like his equipment was rigged so he could do more tests. You cover one eye, stare at a red spot, and click a switch every time you see a green light. Everything went fine with the left eye covered. But when he covered my right eye, I couldn’t really see the red spot. It was faded and disappeared a lot so I just looked around and clicked on the green lights. When the doctor came back to the room, I said he couldn’t trust the test because I couldn’t see the red light. He told me not to worry about it. That didn’t seem right at all. When I checked with Paul about his test, he had the same experience. We said we would wait on glasses and left. We won’t go back to him. I made an appointment with an ophthalmologist.

10 October 2019 (Thu) – Paul got the heater fixed. That’s good because the weather has been cool – in the 40s at night.

I had an appointment at the VA today. It is basically a perfunctory checkup. The doctor knows I am being treated at Sloan Kettering and really just want a backup with the VA in the event I have trouble getting my medication. She is a very pleasant doctor and completely understands my motivations. She did make an appointment for me to see someone in dermatology. I have a small spot on my bottom lip that I thought was chapped lips. But it has been there a couple of months and now has started to change color. My sister was just diagnosed with skin cancer and that made me think I should probably get my lip checked out.

After the VA, I met my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Shay, for lunch at Tula Kitchen. It is an eclectic restaurant with vegetarian dishes that are very different. Susan, her husband, Bill, Shay and her boyfriend, Pat, just returned from a trip to Scandinavia. Susan’s friend, Ronnie, passed away and left Susan and Bill to handle his affairs. Ronnie’s body was cremated and they took the ashes to Sweden where Ronnie was born. After Sweden, they went to Norway and Iceland. It was a great trip.

Travis lost his job. He has had such rotten luck with work. Hope he finds a new one quickly. They are in the middle of having their mortgage modified and this will certainly have an impact. Lincoln will be baptized on October 20. I coordinated with the American Legion Post to have a party there after the christening. The commander initially told me I had to pay $300. When I told him commanders (past and present) were allowed one free rental a year and a second at half price when I was commander, he relented and will let us use the hall at no charge. That was very nice of him. We coordinated times to open the building.

8 October 2019 (Tue) – We took Caiden to church with us on Sunday. It was a pretty busy day with him. His father worked from 10 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. I gave Caiden his bath, read his books, and sang some songs. He didn’t want to eat steak for dinner. When I told him that was it for the night. He didn’t have to eat it but there wouldn’t be anything else. We then went about eating and quietly watched while he ate his steak and a piece of potato. It was amusing to watch the quiet surrender.

Kenny was home on Monday so we did not watch Caiden but we did have them come in for dinner. We had burgers, fries, and corn. Caiden ate about half his burger, some fries, and made a token effort at the corn then was done. I gave him chocolate ice cream for dessert. That sure pumped him up! The sugar rush kept him running back and forth for an hour.

Today, Kenny worked from 10 to 4. Paul and I ran some errands. I picked Kenny up at 4:15 and Paul got Caiden from the bus. At 5 p.m., Paul and I went down to the church to help clean up after the yard sale. There were several pieces of furniture (desks, dressers, couches, loveseats) left over that we had to break up and put in the dumpster. Several of us turned out for the job and it took just over an hour to get it all done.

5 October 2019 (Sat) – We returned to New York on September 30 from the SMART National Muster in Urbanna, VA. We stopped two nights in Washington, D.C. staying on Joint Base Andrews AFB. The campground certainly could use some TLC. Everything is run down and looking worn. It seems weird that they would let it look like that since the President’s plane is kept there. You’d think since it was a flagship airfield that they would keep it up better. Paul thinks the only reason Andrews AFB is kept open is because it’s close to D.C.

Well, I goofed big time. I was trying to update our travel journal and I got an error message from the computer. I inadvertently clicked on a RESET button and the computer reset itself back to its default mode. All the programs and apps that we have loaded on the computer since we bought it six years ago were wiped off. The version of Word that I have using (Word 2010) was removed and a docx file replaced it. That updated version would not open the older version. Ugh. Poor Paul has spent hours reloading all those lost programs. At least when the computer reset itself, it made a list of all those programs that were removed. There is a list to follow in reestablishing the programs.

Miranda is in Maine this week. We have been driving Kenny back and forth to work and watching Caiden in between work and school. He is a very energetic little boy!

The church had a yard sale yesterday. The weather was beautiful and there were yard sales all over town. I drove down Brook Street (a small back street that cuts between two main roads) and there were four yard sales on that street alone. It was a long day. We went down to the church at 8 am and helped set up, then helped with the fair all day until it ended at 3 pm. I picked Caiden up at noon and he enjoyed visiting at the fair. At the end of the fair, all the stuff that didn’t sell went into the dumpster. It was awful! We were throwing new or barely used items away – CDs, DVDs, glassware, toys, games, electronics, furniture, everything! It all went into the garbage. It sure seemed like all that stuff could have gone somewhere. Oh, well.

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punkocalypse · 6 years

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For commissions, they're going to be open, prices will go back to normal as of Monday or Tuesday, so take advantage of the sale while/if you can... Even if I don't get it done immediately, the sales are still going. 50% off of everything except line arts, which are $10 for a single full body and $15 for a couple full body.

Now onto the rest...

October 5th, 2018... Wheatley was the first to get skunked.

I don't know what he did or where he found it... but we were taking a break and had everyone inside and all we could smell was that signature skunk smell... so we sniffed and there is Wheatley... sad as could be... eyes kinda red... not SUPER smelly but definitely got it...

Poor baby... but it teaches him... so we gave him a bath and he's sticking close now. He's ready to rest... Everyone is. You give them a day of running willy-nilly outside and they're okay to sleep for the night xD

Meanwhile me? My shin that I busted open on the 4th opened back up and bled some more... so we used hydrogen peroxide and we did a dose of that maybe 6 or 7 times and it STILL kept fizzing... so we're going to keep an eye on that...

Aside from that, turned in the keys today and went to the postal office to let them know we moved... have to call some places Monday because we simply haven't had time to sit on a phone for 2-3 hours on hold to tell someone we've changed addresses :/ barely had time to go to the post office and let them know.

But everything is finally moved AND we took a photo of the mold in that closet just in case... as well as we have our therapist who we've been telling about all the crap that those apartments keep pulling on us over these couple o' years, just in case they try to pull one last screw you... Which they better not be angry about the mold because it's THEIR water closet and the only reason we know about it is that that's the whole reason they came into the apartment in the first place was to see if we had it cuz downstairs had it...

We just thought we were sick and couldn't breathe for no reason aside from stress... but no. We were being freakin' poisoned by mold spores going into the A/C and being blown all over the house. And then they never even took care of it, like everything else.

So goodbye. Now I can fix my problems. But so far the only problems with the new place is some of the doors are easily opened (old farmhouses are like that) and there's a crap ton of spiders everywhere... But when no one has lived here for who knows how long and the house is on 12 acres, you're going to get spiders... Cool thing is the laundry room has a super crooked door that can't be fixed because the threshold is too big for the door and since the floor it's on is crooked, you can't have a normal door there... but it looks cool af. We live in a crooked house and I love it.

Also, we've got like 3 types of grasshoppers, 2 kinds of crickets (One of which ALSO keeps getting inside), butterflies, moths, beetles, mosquitoes (we spray ourselves and pups have meds to deter them), other strange bugs, lizards, birds, deer, armadillos, skunks (obviously), I saw a possum the other night, turkey vultures, pigeons, and just a whole host of other critters... I heard screeching tonight, that might've been one of the possums just making noise cuz all pups were accounted for.

I also had to take an old abandoned bird's nest AND an old abandoned wasp's nest out of our mailbox so it could be used... I felt bad for taking down the bird's nest cuz there was NO way to remove it without breaking it apart...

Also, been looking more around the grounds, there's a bunkhouse out back just a tad (there's a walkway from the back of the porch to it, just has lots of overgrowth) that has electricity and is attached to the well-house by a wall but the shower in it is broken probably... has a bed in there and the light works though... we are just using it as storage.

There is also a wagon against the back of the house that I plan on taking out to the old garden and weeding soon, just toss them all in there so I can get them to the garbage easier... We want to go out and get a pumpkin sometime this month and just put it in the garden so it'll decompose and give us pumpkins next year (Okay... I want that and it was my idea lol... Grambo said we'll have pumpkins forever so probably just get one pumpkin)

I got my seeds though!! I ordered some seeds that were on sale... mostly herbs and some vegetables so in the spring I can start on it. If I can earn up the money I want to order more and maybe even order some grapes and other fruits that aren't trees. Ordered Lovey some sunflower seeds too so I can grow them to put in a vase. Also ordered like three kinds of carrot seeds cuz those are good treats for everyone...

Need to find someone who sells green beans, though... I don't know if those come in seeds or not... I've SEEN the plants when I was younger but I have no idea how they got planted or where you buy them here... but they're good dog treats and Wheatley loves them.

I want to start canning as well, next year so we can be slightly more self-sustainable, especially through the winter... I'm going to have a lot of work cut out for me but I think it'll be easier being away from everyone... I still need to clean out what we're going to use as a garage and the old chicken coop so I can use the coop/barn/thing as a workshop.

We're not ready for chickens. I want them... but we're not ready. Garden first. Plus, that coop would need a LOT of work and I still have to do the garden, the fence, and literally everything else... I'm excited about it though. I like to fix things, it makes me happy.

I'm also excited to get back to painting and drawing... traditionally. It'll be awesome to go outside and just do some sketching or maybe painting that American,I think he said Oak or Elm, tree outside in front... it is SO beautiful... Plus, the trees here aren't rotted or dead...

I have a lot of work cut out for me but it'll get me outside, so it's worth it. First thing tomorrow, since we finally have everything here, I need to take the pups out on a walk along the border of our property so they learn this is ours and this is home, don't leave this. Going to keep doing that so they learn... plus, it'll show me everything around here...

Sunday, we're going into town to see what all they have... Then Monday we have therapy and visiting Grambo.

And throughout all of that? Unpacking. BUT, we're already mostly done... It's much easier to unpack than to pack... Plus, we have space... and I hear a cricket inside, lol. Pups are sleeping, so he's lucky... Lovey stepped in cricket earlier.

Anyway, enough rambling... Will update another time... Internet is still spotty while we get used to it as well as we're super busy with home stuff and my muscles are sore and stiff so not much getting done outside of packing and unpacking... Now just unpacking, though so I can take my time...

I love this place so much... I'm actually excited and happy to come home... It's calming at home... I'm not constantly terrified... I can walk around my own home without feeling like I'm constantly in danger... Sure, for now, I have to check everything for spiders before I touch it but that's way minor to me and way less scary than people...

Speaking of people... apparently in her drunken state yesterday, Uncle's gf said she was going to fight me or punch me in the face or something... I don't know exactly... Uncle told lovey who told me that she was threatening to fight me specifically... and I just find that fucking hilarious because that happens so often... I don't do anything and people want to fight me and then never actually do anything...

Like, literally... I have NEVER done anything against this woman in my LIFE... I've been polite. I've never said anything to her. I've never said anything to her boyfriend. I've never said anything to Grambo... But she wants to punch me in the face... For not being involved whatsoever...

The last time this happened was some girl was being incredibly rude to a different Grandmother and I told her she needed to respect the woman allowed her to live under their roof, to which she told my friend's cousin she was going to punch me in the face next time I did that... which she never did and I didn't find out about the threat until after the fact...

So yeah... People always want to fight me and I'm losing the will to care at this point. I'm not a confrontational or violent person but everyone wants to fight me behind my back... Okay then, I guess? By all means, throw the first punch... I will pin you to the ground so you can't hurt anyone and YOU can go to jail for assault. I don't like bullies and I don't like fighting. I don't have time for this.

Have fun with it.

I'm writing this at 1:11 AM but will post it when I get up because my internet isn't working right now and I think computers will have to be permanently grounded to the bedroom to get any service because that's also the only place the wifi router works. No living room for you... I have to put a desk in there, we've only got one... Thankfully, we have our own desk... it's just outside while we're unpacking... And then it has to be checked for bug-life before it's allowed out of purgatory and into the realm of the living... Just like almost everything else.

Alright, that's the end, I'm done... Hope you're all good.

NEW NOTE: It's 4:11 AM and couldn't sleep so posting while I can

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sleepymarmot · 7 years

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Adventures in house-hunting, gardening, and modding, feat. Lakeview Manor & Breezehome

A lot of the stuff in the previous post was happening on my way back to Whiterun to finally buy a house here... I do a favor for a jarl here and suddenly buy land from him. Okay...

The garden is pretty disappointing. I'm excited to grow ingredients, but I expected it to be pretty! Wild flowers are pretty and grow near each other, this looks terrible. I hoped to have my own colorful patch of flowers that attacts butterflies and bees... And why can't I grow a full size juniper tree if I want?

Also the interface flickers between "harvest" and "re-plant" pretty fast, and the harvest option doesn't have the enhanced UI mod's captions :(

It's also slightly immersion breaking that I can smith with only an anvil, but no proper forge. And I generally don't feel safe leaving it all out in the open, especially in the middle of nowhere...

Why can't I dismiss a steward without a mod?!

Why do I have to build an entire useless hall if I just want an arcane enchanter and an alchemy lab?

It's completely absurd that I can build a bedroom OR a greenhouse OR an enchanting tower. What if I want all of these, but none of the east wing options?

I finally reached Whiterun and bought Breezehome... Time to waste several hours on deciding between different mods, namely Breezehome TNF - Elianora's Flavour and Breezehome FullyUpgradable.

TNF works out of the box and is very beautiful. My favourite things are planters inside and outside the house, part pre-planted so they look pretty already, part free for me to choose. A detail that instantly made me like the mod before I even entered the house: chimney from the basement forge. And the tower is also very cool, obviously (with more planters!!). But sometimes it can be too much, like that armory with red carpet. That said, I love the bath; it's obscenely luxurious, but I feel like my Argonian needs it.

FullyUpgradeable: Garden! That was my biggest selling point from the screenshots. It looks like I expected the vanilla gardens to look. It's convenient to have all crafting stations in the same room, though the guy is right: who the hell puts a smelter and a tanning rack in their basement?! Another plus is that the vanilla alchemy table on the second floor was replaced by a generic "study", so I can replace it with the children's room without hesitation. All upgrades have to be bought separately which makes it feel less like cheating. But it took a long time, I kept running out of money and missing the dialogue I needed -- which had only happened once or twice in the entire game before this mod! And I didn't really need all the storage -- I carry everything in my infinite inventory -- and without all upgrades, the basement looks too big and bare. When I first came down there, it was like a freaking metro station! Not to mention the rest of the lower area -- I was just looking for a small convenient house... Speaking of storage, the alchemy and enchantment containers are cool but I'm not about to return here for every single slow potion or banishment iron dagger! I live and work everywhere and this is just one of my stations, no reason to keep my resources here.

I wanted to try out every Hearthfire option myself, but watched videos instead and came to the conclusion that the vanilla houses are irreparably empty and ugly. The only thing I want to build is the greenhouse because it attracts insects, plus the two crafting tables -- is it worth to build a giant hall just for that? I'd be better off with a modded house that is pretty and useful from the start, instead of trying to polish this turd. There are mods for Hearthfire that swap the contents of the wings but is it worth it? Like, when it comes to mods I struggle choose the most beautiful option, and with the vanilla house I search for the least shitty.

I wonder if I can duplicate the "fertile soil" with Jaxonz Positioner... If so then I can make my Lakeview garden more lush and copy it over to Breezehome, right? And I should also try the version by Lupus since it's intentionally simpler which I want too. I actually like the simple and cozy vanilla Breezehome, and I'd like to preserve the general feeling, just with some polish and practical additions. I don't get why I'd need display cases or mannequins -- especially since they can glitch and start walking around! I prefer furniture that doesn't give me heart attacks, thank you very much!

The following testing was all done with FullyUpgradeable.

Okay, copying fertile soil doesn't work. This page recommends the "build fertile soil/planters" mod that I've already been eyeing.

Jaxonz cant't multiselect, but turns out there are other options! Cobb Positioner + Atronach Crossing looks powerful... I don't even think this is cheating at this point, the amount of effort is no less than buying stuff through the vanilla mechanics.

Testing Cobb Positioner. First of all, it can't copy-paste. Second, I wanted multiselect specifically for moving potted plants, and it selected the pot with no problem but managed to select a plant only once in all of my attempts. Third, I can't move the crafting equipment in the house ("Can't select this object, something is blocking it"); their counterparts in the city and other interactible objects work fine. It's probably because the modded Breezehome ones are molded into the house just like the fence.

Oh right, there's "Select console ref" for the normally unselectable objects! Now it doesn't even want to select the pot without that, lol. But it doesn't work well on plants, either: leaves stuff behind. I could move parts of the fence that way, but the crafting equipment still returns error messages.

Testing Craftable Hearthfire Planters. It requires Campfire which I don't need and which also for some reason conflicts with Simply Knock (why?!) The "Fertile Soil" activator is in a very large radius around the planter. Every time I activate the soil, it also shows the planter's "What do you do? Use/Pick Up/Exit" even if it doesn't have a pot. I can't move the soil with Cobb Positioner (but maybe I’m doing something wrong).

Atronach doesn't have fences :( Bye then

So, here's the interaction between the positioners and the fertile soil (both vanilla ones and the craftable mod ones). When you move the soil with something planted in it, the plant stays behind. It stays until respawn in about three days, when the old plant is deleted and replaced with a new one. The plant respawns even if it wasn't harvested and doesn't need to refresh the model. While the plant is waiting to respawn, it can be moved to the new spot separately. All of this is probably ABCs to anyone familiar with this game's mechanics, but I needed to see it for myself.

What if I planted the garden by simple copy-pasting, without reusable fertile soil? It'd be more of a pain to re-plant it, of course. And it'd be almost purely for aesthetics, not harvesting. Normal plants respawn after 10 days and only if you don't visit the cell at all during that time; Hearthfire plants respawn every three days and you only need to leave the cell once.

Tried House Decorations - Plants and Flowers. The plant and the planter are a single active object that can be taken -- so, they can’t be harvested at all, and they’re bad decoration because the “take” message appears every time you mouse over them which is almost as irritating as Craftable Hearthfire Planters. Pass...

I think my Whiterun is broken. It refuses to reset after 10 days -- plants can’t be harvested, dead bodies lie in the middle of the street. I’ve noticed that the plants have never reset before, but I thought it was because of the bug Flora Respawn Fix would solve. But it’s like the entire cell is stuck. The flowers inside my house, Arcadia’s Cauldron’s shelves and all merchants’s inventories reset normally. Now I’m waiting for 30 days to see if that does the trick, even though it shouldn’t. Why make the player wait at all irl? I’m so tired of all this troubleshooting. I want to go back to adventures.

At least I found out that toggling free camera (tfc) makes waiting much quicker for some reason. Isn’t it possible to make a fast waiting mod based on that -- whenever player activates waiting, toggle camera back and forth?

I read advice on the internet to fast travel and wait in another location (I was waiting in houses inside the city and just outside the city walls). I came back, and it worked! The bodies disappeared and the “normal” lavender in the city (that was in the game from the start) respawned.

My test plants didn’t respawn -- but I finally figured out why! That’s because I copied them from the planters. I guess they’re just dummies without any respawn mechanic of their own, all scipts are inside the planter. Should have figured that out sooner, since even the models are different, and they respawn where the planter is, not the original plant... Eh, better late than never. Whew, that’s a relief! Of course this makes things a bit more complicated -- I thought I’d just grow stuff in a pot and then move it to open ground. But now looks like I have to bring them from their natural habitat. Can Jaxonz positioner go across load screens? I think it has a function to put items in the inventory. I guess I can just spawn anything I want with the console, somehow this option has never even occured to me during all this... But I guess this feels too cheaty. The point is not to build a Super Cheating Free Alchemy Area to break my game. The point is to make my property as pretty, functional and customized as possible. I can’t do it irl, let me at least have a house and garden of my dreams in a game! Give me my wish fulfillment!!!

Alright, I think I’ll stick with Breezehome by Lupus, at least for now. It’s simple and cozy so it doesn’t look drastically more luxurious than the rest of Whiterun and fits my character’s progression -- when I get obscenely rich, maybe I upgrade to a more overwrought mod. I like the rustic style -- and it’s very green with a lot of ivy (which I wish I could take...) and hanging moss. I kinda like that most of the clutter is bolted to the shelves -- in other houses I took all of the pretty gems and stuff out of habit / to see if they respawn somehow, which ruined the design, and it’d be hard to stop myself from doing that repeatedly.

Finally, I could leave Whiterun and take care of my other house. I completed my plans -- built an animal pen, made Lydia a steward and was about to move on... but it felt wrong. This isn’t a “manor” for me -- it’s a tiny refuge away from busy streets. I just come here to tend to my garden, craft something, rest for a bit and then be on my way. Why invite a stranger to live here, why make it a farm?

(And then, visiting Whiterun next time, I discovered that Lydia invites herself to Breezehome anyway. And I feel so possessive of them after all this trouble... Oh well.)

I did build an apiary, that fit the image. And now I think... I’m done? The garden is pretty good now with More soils for Hearthfires gardens -- though it’s hard to make picturesque because the plants come more or less in only two sizes. Maybe I should try to enlarge some of them... I started bringing stuff to decorate the house both inside and outside, so it looks more inhabited now. I even managed to bring some ivy at last! So I think I’m finally ready to return to the game proper -- I have only discovered about half of the major locations and they’re getting old!

#skyrim #blah blah blah

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