#which like ... is not good and is not normal for me ive been way better at dealing with things in the past its weird and scary and weird | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years

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I feel like I need to drop all commitments, move across the country and try again.

Two years ago, in the hell that was 2020, I was supposed to go to college. I was supposed to go to my dream college for a major I was passionate about. It was only an hour from a friend I really really loved, who lived ten hours from me before that. I was about to be so close to her, to live my dream, to open the doors to my best life.

I took a weekend and did a college tour there in 2019. I stayed with that friend who was only an hour from the dream college. The second I stepped on campus, everything felt right. I felt like I belonged there. The library, the dorms, the grounds, it felt like home. I talked to the band and choir teacher about joining, she invited me to their production of Godspell in the spring that was going to include ASL interpreting students (my major). I saw my future and for once, it felt right.

Then in March 2020, I got an email. The college went bankrupt and was closing. Just months before I was supposed to be there.

And just like that, my plans, my life went out the window. I hadn't applied to any other colleges and now it was past most deadlines. I didn't want to go to a different college. I wanted that life back.

So, directionless, in June 2020 I moved two states away from my hometown, to live near my best friend. I didn't have a job, a car, an apartment, nothing. Just three boxes and some hope.

I met a potential roommate and toured the apartment the first day in the new state, and that day decided to move in. I ended up buying a sketchy minivan from my friend, and moved into my new apartment. Got a job and a couple of fish. But I didn't feel at home, it didn't feel right. It felt like I was living in someone else's apartment that I wasn't wanted in. Still, I was there for a year and a half.

Finally I got sick of it, I got impulsive, I moved states again. I applied for an apartment, got approved, put down a deposit, and six days later I packed my life into a UHaul and restarted. I got a different job, a different car because the first one only lasted about nine months, and now I was further from my best friend. But I was living alone and could make my own life.

I've lived here for eight months. I bought a dresser, I found a coffee shop that I like, the area is beautiful. Of all of the places I could've impulsively moved, this was a decent one. But I've had trouble settling in. I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I feel like this is just a placeholder, and I hate that.

I want to appreciate the life that I have right now. I live in a nice area, my best friend is only forty minutes from me, when three years ago he lived five hours away. I just got a promotion at my job. I count my blessings and I know I have so many, but I still feel like I'm in the wrong story.

And I know that that story passed me by. I'll never go to that college. The friend I was going to live near, we haven't talked since January 2020. I will never live the dream that I had and I know I need to get over it, but I feel like I'll be mourning it forever. And I always feel like I'm trying to chase it. Move to a new state, a new apartment, get a new job, maybe this time it'll feel right.

It doesn't feel right. I go to the coffee shop, I'm surrounded by people, I feel alone. I go to work, I'm surrounded by coworkers I've known for months, I feel like I don't know any of them. I go home, I'm surrounded by my belongings, it feels like this is just the storage unit where I keep myself.

I don't know what to do except run and hope that this time it'll feel right.

#so uh im not super okay rn #its fall. every fall since then has been difficult because i feel like i should be at college #i am truly mourning this life i shouldve had and thats such a strange feeling #mourning a person feels normal. its understandable. but mourning a life is so much harder to explain #i feel directionless. hopeless. trapped in a hell thats partially of my own creation #ive been thinking of moving across the country near my sibling. they keep trying to convince me to visit or move #im sincerely considering it. the way they talk about the city is amazing #huge lgbtq community. so many more opportunities. my sibling will be there and i love them a bunch #i know it wont replace the life that i want. nothing will #nothing will replace that life so i need to lay it to rest and make a new life instead of trying to recreate the other one #but right now that feels impossible and i just want to run away. away from everyone and everything i know and just reset #i know running away will solve nothing and i should try to create a life that i want here #its a good place to try #but it feels easier to run and keep running #i feel so lost snd hopeless and wish i had some sort of direction. if i had some direction. anything. that would make it better #but i wake up. go to work. go for a walk. watvh tv. make dinner #i should be more thankful! i have a job. money. food. a place to live. a best friend. a gf #and still i cant help but think of what i dont have which is such a shitty feeling #im exhausted with my current life. with how i feel. i want to try again

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trans-phone-eater · 6 days

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I hope there is hell specifically so i and only i can go there i deserve pain worse than anyone has ever felt. I do not deserve to live i do not deserve to exist my existence is a horrible despicable vurse upon this world everyu single problem on this earth is my fault and mine alone I am completely serious/genuine about this. I want to suffer because i deserve it. I cannot tolerate pain and i think is shouls drown in a flood of it. The world would improve significantly if i was torn limb from limb bone from bone and reassembled in an infinite loop.

#boiled electronics #this is a normal thing to think. this is a normal amd healthy belief. i am mentally stable.#I am 100% sure that i will be alive and not dead from suicide at 20 years old #yep.#totally.#prba ly #someone kill me #please.please. i want to die eo badly i dont even know why its not like ive experienced suffering in my life #or that I've ever been sad. ( i cannot experience sadness i am fundamentally a horrible person and cannot experience negative emotions)#theres something wrong sith me but i dont think i should fix it. the worse i feel (which i cant i cant feel bad) the better the world is #therefore the world cannot improve until i die becuase then i won't feel anything which mean i can't feel good so the world wont get worse #someone kill me someone kill me someone kill me someone kill me someone kill me.#i should notg et therapy i dont deserve it. i only deserve death.#Yet because of my fundamental complete atrociousness I cannot bring myself to do so myself so please. i ask you this #anyone who sees this. it would be best for tge world if you found a way to get my real life adress and room and then shoot me or something #I make things worse for everyone universally no one but me understands this fully. nothing can improve until i am gone.#i want to die i want to die wiant to die iwajt to diea #kill .e kill me kill me kill me kill me li.elkee

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yongseungkim · 17 days

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#like i definitely need therapy lol #not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps #so im trying to reach out again because holy shit #i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships #but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own #i have good friends i know who will hear me out #but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear #and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like #once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr #i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud #so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part #i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice #but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own #im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change #if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally #and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe #i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions #bro its also been like so long #i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp #*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all #like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi #feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore #like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like #i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore #the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like #SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?

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be-good-to-bugs · 5 months

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why havent i been talking to the much much cooler and better older sister who is a furry and super nice and fun to talk to and cares about my opinions and feelings instead of the one who cant respect boundaries and makes me feel like a mistake and doesnt care abt how i feel

#the bin #shes also the only normal person in my family #and when i say normal i mean it in a treats other people with respect way not in a societally normal way #cause she the least 'normal' of my family in that way. which is a good thing. be a freak. autism makes u cooler by default #idk. she sthe only person who i feel like actually cares about me and my opinion and wants to hear what i have to say and views me right #i wish we talked more when i was younger. shes so nice. i hope when i move we can houngout together more and maybe watch some movies #and talk abt stuff or smth. we r probably gonna play some games together soon which is nice #i miss her. i think i can also talk to her abt how our other sister kinda sucks. i know she views her pretty highly or at least used to but #i still think i can. i dont think itll make her uncomfortable.#ive been looking over the past years with my other sister and they havent really been any good mostly #ive just been so isolated and sad that it was better than nothing but its past that point now #if id had other people to talk to then i wouodnt have soent so much time with someone making me feel worse #i also think shes just made me a worse person overall. more judgemental. the past year ive become very against that trying hard to not #and she gets very upset with me when im like hey. yknow. id rather assume the best of random strangers not doing anything that bad #i dont wanna assume everyone is an inconsiderate asshole because they arent. life circumstances we dont know about could be #the reason for this honestly pretty mild inconvenience. if u wanna think otherwise then thats fine but dont day it around me #idk. im tired of it. im still super sad but ive become a much more bright and hopeful person because im trying to be #it actually sucks to view the whole world as horrible and everyone around you ass horrible #idk. maybe i can get my other sister to do the fun stuff with me i dont like doing alone #cause it makes me unbelievably sad to realize i dont have anyone to ask anymore at all. period. but maybe it doesnt have to be that way

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astrxealis · 1 year

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my tita's taste in video game characters is so silly i love it

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#uhh i am more aerith but she is more tifa #and she likes therion and so do i #and. that's mostly it i know. sobs! uhh she's doing black eagles route bcs she knows stuff from online a bit #but i know she likes dimitri. haha. she literally said herself she likes pretty boys... me too.....#raghh i need to do homework asap when i get home. tbh i'm not stressed. i'm good #i just need to do stuff asap is the thing! but break is so soon... happy #really excited for our lil trip vacation early april. + prom. fkbskdbsjd #gay friend of my other tita who is in the U.S. is coming too n apprently uhh he is Nice #a normal guy who happens to be gay. smth like that. but hes the only gay guy adult i really know #thats close to my. family? somewhat? just my tita but my other tita and lola have met him and hes nice #i am excited to meet him bcs as a lgbtq person. JDHSJDNS YEAH..... also american so mhm i am very curious #not in a weird way okay. just really really curious as it is in my nature to be very curious. yeah #im also very nervous tho haha i really am not good with talking to people i do not know!!! too quiet too shy #ive gotten better tho? mostly bcs im a lil energetic usually n jumpy n just myself. so its been a bit easier #idm being the one to speak up for me and lune or whatever now uhh b4 i used to be really annoyed it was usually me #but it is Fine. teehee also RAGHHHHHHHHH YOU KNOW i love going outside tbh every sunday uhh #i do not want to Go Home early but gotta feed stray cats which is >>> to malls. so yeah #sooooooooooooo. idk. bye!#going to finish homework asap. funny i've done a lot of the few left but they're due like. uh. nah nvm actually #havent worked on that one due tmrw lol but ive done the easier ones mostly. oops! i gotta improve with that still #and a lot of stuff. getting there <3

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bbunivxrse · 4 months

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AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao

❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO

pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY

so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.

as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.

if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.

obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable.

waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table.

incoming call from gojo.

its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??”

“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned

“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!”

“no.”

“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?”

“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“

“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!”

“what?? n-“

“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'

getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?

checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out.

training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’

you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.

in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.

finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock.

you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like.

within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?”

“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.

“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,”

“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.”

“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school.

“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?”

“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.”

“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.

after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.”

“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.

as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?”

“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.”

“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.

“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…”

“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.” you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here.

“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.

as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often.

i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #gojo x you #gojo satoru

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angel-kyo · 4 months

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Pay it no mind

Part VII

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Satoru is slightly inebriated in this one.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI

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“We are almost there.” You closed the door of Satoru’s apartment with your foot, trying to keep balance as he leaned on you.

Shoko’s birthday had been fun. She had not hated the sweater Satoru ended up giving her, and she had loved your present, so much that she had even shared a little with you after most people had left.

Although Shoko offered him some, Satoru had refused any wine. Normally, he would just not drink or have an alcohol-free (and awfully sweet) drink, but Shoko had then ordered something for him and insisted he tried it because it had almost no alcohol in it, and he should like it with how sweet it was. He had obliged.

“Just for the birthday girl,” he had said.

It was a terrible decision in your opinion.

“Can you at least try to walk properly?” You were on the way to his bedroom, but he was dragging his feet.

Turns out that 'almost no alcohol' is not the same as 'no alcohol'.

“Where… Where are we going?” His words were a bit slurred

You opened the door to his bedroom and helped him inside. “You are going to bed…” you made him sit on his bed, “and I’ll take these.” You took the sunglasses off his face and left them aside. He squinted and fixed his eyes on you.

He felt exhausted and his head was spinning. Before he knew it, he was lying down looking at the ceiling of his room.

You returned with a glass of water and made him drink it.

“What’s this?!” You rolled your eyes at the face of absolute disgust he had made after the first sip.

“It’s water, silly. Just drink it.” You sat next to him.

He did as you said and scratched his head, His euphoria phase had ended at the restaurant, and he was now feeling sleepy.

“Well, you look better now. I thought you where going to throw up on me for a second.”

Satoru grinned as response and looked back at you. Even with his thoughts scattered, you were beautiful.

“I’ll leave now then.” You were going to stand up when he grabbed your hand.

“Huh… Do you need anything else?” He was giving you a strange look. “I know you are not used to this, but you’ll be fine in the morning; hungover but fine nonetheless.” You smiled at him.

“Can you stay?” He was leaning closer.

I shouldn’t. This isn’t doing us any good.

“Please…?” Even in the dim light, his eyes were shining, and his voice was almost a whisper hard to ignore.

You sighed. “Just for a bit.” He made space for you to get in the bed.

You thought you could wait for Satoru to fall asleep and then leave, but as soon as you were within arm reach, he had wrapped himself around you and dozed off. You tried to loosen his grip but it only made him squeeze you tighter.

Should you wake him up just enough so he could let you leave? His breath on you neck was not helping you think. It was not like the position you were in was uncomfortable, but is this what you should be doing with the man you are trying to get over?

You mind returned to the Satoru of that morning.

“I had a rough night.”

He really has it rough, and he doesn’t sleep much; maybe I should let him be.

You yawned, a sign you were feeling pretty tired as well.

Your eyes closed. Maybe you could indulge yourself just this time too.

***

“Who are you?” Satoru was about to knock your door again when he had to look down at the small dark-haired girl that had made the question. She was probably four or five. He had never seen her before but he thought she might be one of your neighbors.

He was about to respond when the girl spoke again. “You are not their boyfriend.”

He blinked and a small smile formed on his lips.

Funny how we usually get the exact opposite opinion…

“Right, I am not.”

“There you are!” a woman walking up the aisle exclaimed looking at the girl. Satoru guessed it was her mother. The girl did not seem fazed by it, though, and she tilted her head looking at Satoru.

“Are you a homewrecker?” she asked him next in the most innocent tone.

That made the strongest sorcerer blink. “What?”

The mother, who had already arrived to where Gojo and the girl where standing, almost dropped her jaw. She apologized to Satoru, lifted the girl and walked away in embarrassment, scolding the kid.

“Where did you even learn that world?” her mother asked her.

“Grandma’s tv shows.”

Gojo smiled. Kids that age were funny; it reminded him of when he had first met Megumi, although he had never called him a homewrecker.

He was about to knock on your door again when you opened it. You looked like you had just taken a shower.

“Sorry, I thought you were coming later.” You let him in. “You could have used your key, though.”

Gojo followed you into your home and to the kitchen. “I thought you would like me to ‘knock the door at least once’.”

Right, you had told him to do it.

You grabbed a mug from the cupboard and poured in some water, and you were about to ask Gojo if he wanted something to drink, but he spoke first.

“I just met your neighbor’s kid. Kinda short, dark hair. Do they live on this floor?”

You looked at him. There were not many kids in the building, so you figured he was referring to the girl a couple doors away. Her mother seemed to have issues to keep her inside the apartment, and the kid was always wandering around the floor.

Luckily, it not really unsafe here, but still...

Satoru went on. “She called me a homewrecker.”

Your mug stopped mid way to your lips, and after the initial surprise, you laughed.

“She called you a what?”

“A homewrecker.” Satoru broke into a fit of laughter too.

But…

“I wonder why she would get that idea,” he said still sounding amused.

You looked away from him. Actually, you had a theory. Ikeda had dropped by a couple times; once to lend you a book you had told him you wanted to read, and another time to pick you up to go out. Could it be that the girl had seen him and gotten the wrong impression?

“I’ll go change.” You left the mug on the counter and walked to your room.

As you changed, you were thinking of how to tell Satoru about Haruki. It had not been your intention to keep it from him this long, but the subject had just not come up, or rather, it had not seemed to be the right time before. In addition, you were not exactly thrilled about telling your best friend you were reconnecting with that old friend he had disliked so much.

You looked at yourself in the mirror.

I’ll just tell him after the movie. He will be cool about it.

However, as you walked back to the kitchen, Satoru’s bright smile took away your resolve.

“You look good.” He was resting his chin on his palm and looking at your clothes. You were not wearing anything he had not seen before, but his gaze made you self-conscious. You hated keeping things from him. It had never worked.

Nothing could have prepared Satoru for your next words when you stood in front of him and looked him in the eye.

“Satoru, do you remember Ikeda?”

----------------------

Note: No notes from me today, just love.

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part VIII

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose

#gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x reader #gojo x you #jjk drabbles #jjk fanfic #gojo x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jjk gojo #gojo fanfic #gojo fluff #satoru

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signedeclipse · 1 year

Text

Signed with Love - Hashira

What is this? - A valentines gift to my lovely fem!readers! Its valentines/love letters cards from your favourites <3

Series Parts Kamaboko Squad - HERE Upper Moons - HERE

Giyuu

To my dearest, Please be my valentine. I'm sorry for not asking sooner or in person, but I just find it easier asking here. You never know who might be listening. I'd rather not do anything too extravagent, but you can come over whenever you want on the fourteenth and I'll have the day off to do whatever you'd like. Love you. Tomioka

Gyomei

Darling, You know I love you more than anything else in this universe, so won't you be my valentine? I promise to take great care of you, and while I don't like the idea of you wanding alone I would be happy to take you hiking so you can finally enjoy the mountains I grew up in. Dress warm, Yours, Gyomei

Kyojuro

Good evening, sparks! I am so happy knowing that once again I am lucky enough to call you my valentine! I'm sure every man envies that Ive stolen you away, haha! You've been speaking plenty of that theater show, so I got us tickets to go and see it! I do not know much of theater, but I would be delighted to see what it's all about. You've always ignited my passions, From your favourite hashira!

Mitsuri

Hey cutie!! You know this is my favourite holiday in the whole entire world! I am so happy that this is my first year actually haveing a valentine, so I want to go all out! How about we go to a buffet we have never been to before and after we can do some shopping! Maybe some matching pyjamas? How does that sound? Please reply ASAP! I am so excited, Your lover girl <3

Muichiro

Dear [Y/N]-chan, Something important is coming up, and you are special to me. If I'm being honest, I don't remember what its called, so I'll just ask you to be mine. I know you've always wanted to go, so I am going to be taking you to the swordsmith village to enjoy the pools. Just don't freak out if you wake up blindfolded. You can trust me, From... me.

Obanai

Dear Serpentine, I do not typically fancy holidays, but on this special occassion I want to celebrate you, especially since I know I'll have the day off- assuming nothing arises. Perhaps its about time we get you your own snake, I am sure Kuburamaru would appreciate a friend, and then you won't be sad when we are both gone on missions. Figure out which breed you want, and I'll find one. Obanai + Kuburamaru

Sanemi

Yo, babe. Since I actually have a valentine this year, I figured its special enough to do something fancy. I'm going to take you out to Tokyo city for a nice dinner, but keep is discreet. I don't need anyone else tagging along. You can dress however the hell you want, but the less the better. Can't wait to see you, The better Shinazugawa

Shinobu

Greetings, Love! I was so busy planning to ask you I hadn't realized you were already off on your mission! So i'll do it this way so their isn't too little time to prepare. For valentines, would you like to come with me to the city? I have a few things I need to pick up, but I know you grew up near it and I would love to have a taste of your home. Whatever you'd like to do, Shinobu Kocho of the Butterfly Estate

Uzui

To our treasured girl, Normally I don't do this kind of thing, but with a new adition to our marriage we all agree it's about time to do something special! I'm going to be treating you and the girls to a dinner on valentines, but the girls thought you could all spend the day before together for 'galentines'. Be ready by 4:00 pm tomorrow and they'll grab ya. Don't have too much fun without me, Tengen, 𝐻𝒾𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓊, ᗰᗩKIO, 𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚊

Authors Note - Way past valentines but I still wanted to put it out there since I started it! I wont be doing lower moons sadly because I want to get to all my requestst again, but I hope you all enjoyed the event!

Disclaimer - All characters within have been aged up to at least 18 or older, and have been altered to reflect such change as needed.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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Aita for "yelling" at my teenage sister for putting earrings through the ears of my childhood stuffed animal?

🤬🐘 <- cause that was me holding them when I found out lmao

So I (22 two spirit, I was 20 when this happened) have had Ellie (Ive used He/she/they for Ellie my whole life, they never had a set gender), a stuffed realtively realistic elephant, since I was at least 3 years old. He was a plush of big Al, the elephant mascot for crimson Tide of the university of Alabama. (Roll tide?) that my dad owned but eventually it was cuddled by 3 yr old me and dragged to my room and out of his man cave (which I don't know why he had a big al plush, we're from Ohio) never to return. I think she had a jersey or hat or something at some point but she doesn't now. Considering just how cuddled Ellie was, it's a miracle how good her condition is. No rips, tears, bald patches or holes beyond the plasticy coating on one of his tusks ripping off in a few places. I wasn't super violent with my toys and never drew on them or ripped them up. The most I did was put hair ties around her ears so they'd look like pigtails.

I've had Ellie a very very long time obviously and he means a lot to me. I very rarely cuddle him now because I want him to stay in that good condition. Well, when I was 19, I moved to Maryland to be with my partner and Ellie went with me obviously. 3 or 4 times a year, me and my partner make the trip to Ohio to visit my family, about 8 hrs away. I bring Ellie because she comforts me when we're there (Alot of traumatic memories are wrapped up in childhood home). Well, one time Ellie got left behind and I was devastated. It was gonna be at least 3 months till I went back and even though my mom offered to send ellie through the mail, i was not willing to take the chance that ellie could get lost forever in said mail so i waited.

Here's the part where I mention I have a younger sister who was 14 at the time. we have a good, if not distant relationship that is a much better place now. Here's where the problem occurred. I returned home after about 3 months after accidentally leaving ellie and immediately wanted to find him once I arrived. My mom told me my sister had been watching them while I was away so I went to her room. My sister then excitedly held up Ellie to me... Ellie's big ears were absolutely littered with my sister's (real) earrings. There had to of been at least 150 piercings in her ears, if not 200. I held myself together as best I could and very sternly told her I was pissed she'd do that, she knew how much Ellie meant to me and she should never treat other people's things that way.

I make a very strong point to never insult, scream or yell or not explain why I'm angry at someone. If I get so angry I can't handle my composure, I leave and gather myself then come back. I never insulted my sister or raised my voice but I definitely hammered how disrespectful and destructive this was to something that wasn't hers as I took out her earrings one by one. My childhood stuffie did not deserve to be turned into Swiss cheese and used as an earring display. If I had done anything like that to her stuffed giraffe, her stuffie, she'd have a cow. Once they were all out I took Ellie and went to my room. Luckily, they were normal sized earrings so the holes were very small and I can't see them if I don't look for them but it felt so disrespectful.

My sister apologized pretty quickly but my mom said I didn't have to yell at her (I never raised my voice but I was clearly hiding an angry one trying to explain to her) nor should I have said it 5 times in the moment (shes exaggerating). I'll admit I repeat myself twice or thrice in the moment as a way to keep myself from raising my voice or stewing in it if I feel like i haven't properly expressed my anger or I feel like the person wasn't listening. Everything is cool now and we dont really talk about it (it's not taboo or too painful to touch, it just doesn't come up) but I wonder if I over reacted considering the holes are tiny, not super visible and I don't think my sister did it to spite me or hurt Ellie, she was just young and dumb and didn't think about how it could mess up Ellie. Should I have held my tounge since shes my sister? She was only 14 but I feel like you should know earrings can cause damage to fabric when you're 14, there's no way she didn't know that wouldn't leave tiny holes in Ellie. I just think she didn't think of them as a big deal.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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mrfoox · 1 year

Text

It's still scary to feel... This okay for me and im like... Oh man

#miranda talking shit #Im used to having dread and anxiety and despair at least for an hour per day but i havent for some time #I had one situation a few weeks ago bc there was an misunderstanding with an friend. But even then i cried about it for an hour and then #I thought about it for a while and got an new perspective and basically got over it lol #It feels Weird bc im so used to feeling bad all the time or at least ... Little bit bad? Now im actually okay #I'm not always feeling super good but im stable and have been feeling like ot for a long while?#When something happens or i think of something it doesnt consume me. I can be in it and think about it but then let it pass #I think this medicine is working and im happy... I forget hpw much of my energy and time goes to being anxious and sad #Til i dont feel that way for a while and then its like.... Lol wtf i have time to actually talk to people i like and do things i want?#Sure im not 'cured' and a normal human but ive felt like my battery have been a bit nore filled bc of this #Ive cleaned on my own and done clothes washing on my own which i usually do with my home help #Its not a huge thing but yeah... And its still winter. I know i feel worse mentally in winter so if this is me now...#Imagjne in spring or summer when i can be outside in nature again... I really want this to be a better and kinder year for me #I dont expect to find love or accomplish big things but just for once a year where i feel okay and don't look back on badly please #Please universe be gentle with me i think after 20+ years i can have some peace please and thank you

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v1leblood · 8 months

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putting microphone to your mouth. explain lisa wilbourn to me

these posts are the most important lisa images on the internet

i don't know how to explain lisa. she's a normal girl who has something wrong with her. her life before triggering was mundanely miserable and her life since triggering has been defined by trying to prevent the circumstances of her trigger over and over and over and over and coming out of it a 'better person' but in many ways a much sadder one. i don't think saying any parahumans character 'gets over' their trauma but lisa's someone who like. not even in the most charitable definition has in any way gotten over her trauma. outside of a few She Would Not Fucking Say That moments ward is pretty good with lisa and it's fucking tragic bc she's Still mourning taylor, she's trying to take care of aiden so he won't turn out like taylor, and she ends up getting similarly attached to victoria when she sees in just how low of a low victoria's around halfway through the story.( her rl w victoria is much healthier than her attachment to taylor bc she doesn't consider vicky a Full rex but those caring instincts still come out. )

something about lisa is that being lisa and interacting with lisa are both horrifying. lisa's power doesn't let her not know the best or worst way to talk to you. every time you're having an interaction with lisa, every time she's having an interaction with you, there has to be a conscious choice as to whether she's going to play into the informational power imbalance or whether she's going to try not to -- except, the information is still there, isn't it? unless she actively focused on something else or actively switched her attention around quickly so her power can't go into detail on things, she Knows things she shouldn't, and even if she doesn't act on that information, what you'll get out of her still isn't going to be her 'natural reaction' to what you're doing or saying. it can be the closest thing, but by having the information and not using it, the reaction she gives will still be one filtered through having the information and trying to Act as though she didn't. her power taints any social interaction. and sometimes its not a big deal, and of all her troubles i don't think this particular thing bothers her that much, but its kind of existentially horrifying that any interaction she has is imbalanced in her favor as far as knowing things about each other goes. whatever your or anyone's opinion on lisa's aromanticism, what she gave as her reason for why dating is hard/impossible for her rings true: she meets people and there's no mystery, they're almost immediately laid bare, and that changes things about the way she interacts with them and how she's willing to mentally categorize them in pretty much every context, not just dating. she took a single look at alec and immediately knew he was emotionally numbed and 'sociopathic', she immediately knew grue was concerned about putting up a tough front and about being Professional, she Immediately Knew taylor was basically on the brink of either suicide or something much like it. it taints everything. even when lisa's not being manipulative (which she often is on purpose) you can't Know that she's not just feeding you the right line or the next best thing as per her encylopedic knowledge of You. its fucked up!

and like ive mentioned other times i think this aspect of her power, having people laid bare before her, often their worst selves laid bare before her, really contributes to her cynicism and the arrogant front she puts up, because she may have flaws, but she knows that everyone else fucking sucks, too

theres more Stuff about her including the way in which shes manipulative her little neuroses and how her morality evolves throughout worm but im just rambling w/o a specific Point so idt i can share my thots on those and make them cohere in this specific post

#asks

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