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#which sucks because i am not a morning person
owlpellet · 2 days
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i know there's a lot of ego and assumptions about my own susceptibility to manipulation going on here but i truly think i am immune to most cults. not even from a bullshit detection standpoint, but from a standpoint of every account i have ever heard/read of someone finding themselves in a cult or mlm includes descriptions of social situations that would overstimulate and stress me out so bad that i would vomit and leave immediately. a road trip with strangers? a self-improvement seminar? giving out my phone number to someone i met in an aisle at target? having to host a recruitment party? the constant hype machine behavior? love-bombing? the pressure to socialize? unpaid morning zoom calls? maybe it's because i never went to church as a kid but i have no concept of "faith" in something unseen nor do i ache for a "community" larger than a handful of fellow hobby-havers, so the idea of manufacturing a new passion just to fit into a crowd i otherwise have nothing in common with sounds like a type of psychological torture customized for me specifically. i barely muster passion for the things i like.
i can understand completely how people get sucked into them and don't think it's something on which character should solely be judged. most people actually do ache for that community, and most people are actually flattered and not freaked out if someone begins to fawn over them, because we are social creatures isolated by capitalism and crave comfort and validation from others. but on my mother, if a new friend dragged me to a "show" that turned out to be a motivational speaker my departure would be so rude and abrupt. i am too fucking autistic to chant affirmations with an auditorium of 1000 people.
if i am ever victimized by a "cult" it'll probably be more of a final fantasy house low-scale personality cult sort of situation. while i would hope better for myself, a charismatic online person warming up to me until i'm sucked into their little circle of sycophants they have collected is not outside the realm of imagination, and all i can hope is that my true friends will be honest enough about catching bad vibes that it never happens.
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chrisbangs · 4 months
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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chika-nyan · 8 months
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Lies down. So it looks like my job is actively trying to moorder me so I’ll probably be mostly ded for a while. Honestly at a breaking point, can you believe vacation was just last month? :) Gonna keep doing my best to hold on for that mid-late spring exit/quitting time with next vacation but it’s going to be a trial forsure.
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lavenderyulu · 2 years
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Here, take this out of context generalized god au of incombustibleshipping.
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seenthisepisode · 1 day
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.
#i feel like i am having some kind of a crisis. first of all i got sick AGAIN so i am at home coughing and not being able to breathe because#my nose is completely useless right now. the good part is i am on a sick leave so at least no work for three days yeah . but then i have#shifts on saturday and sunday which sucks BUT at least they are morning shifts which means i will be at home by 3.30 pm BUT that means#waking up before 6 am which again SUCKS but at least i don't have to be at work till 10 pm. so there is that. also i will have the next wee#off completely :)) which is fantastic news excpt. we were supposed to travel somewhere (me and my mom ) but we didn't manage to plan#anything so i will most likely stay at home and feel like i am wasting my free time which will make me feel guilty as fuck and not enjoy th#free time because this is ow my mind works and the stress i feel because of it? it's eating me from the inside like i literally can't focus#on ANYTHING because i already stress about wasting my next week. literally someone call a psychiatrist#also we didn't plan anything because the money needs to be saved for. my wedding. so there is a good reason why but that reason?#ANOTHER REASON FOR STRESS. i have been avoiding thinking about it seriously because once i start i will obsess over it and won't sleep#anyway. i have a wedding day coming in 2 months and i feel useless and completely out of control. head in hands.#also i won't be able to attend purcon in may which sucks but i need to sell the ticket because i already lost so much money on crossroads#that i also didn't attend only bought tickets impulsively last year so i want to avoid that happening again which means i have to like#sell them which is this whole thing that is also stressing me out. also i need to do the taxes . another stress factor#i was not meant for this life i was meant to live in a tent by the mountain lake i swear to god#personal
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readymades2002 · 11 days
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who even give a fuck. yknow
#getting drunk before work because who gives a shit ^_^d#yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me#unless its to go ermmmm i cant help noticing your department isnt achieving infinite growth when will you guys stop sucking#shit? just curious yhaha and if they want to talk about me they go behind my back and ask other people why im cutting#which a) i wear short sleeves this isnt a secret im keeping and 2) fuck you for deciding its your business and then NOT EVEN#ASKING /ME/ but whatever thy want to get pissy at me for their own failure to communicate fucking let them i dont care#ive been killing myself for this stupid job for a year now i wake up in the morning and my first thought is how bad my knee hurts#im one of the best we've got and what do i have to show for it no one fucking talks to me i dont care#no one will go 'hey did you get fucking sloshed before coming here' becaus etheyre scared of talking to m e for some reason#i literally dont know but if they ask then like who fucking cares this isnt on me i dont feel human doing this job i dont feel like a perso#no one treats me like one unless i waste time quote unquote to not do my job and talk to people who like care if i live or die or whatever#so like who fucking cares even ill do whatever i want ill get drunk before work ill do shit at my job ill talk to someone i love fuck it#whatever!!! should have acted like i was a person instead of ignoring the people youre throwing into a meatgrinder for profit i guess#who fucking cares!#already had my MOTHER get weird about me buyng booze for reasons that are none of her fucking business and that she#wouldnt know the details of anyway if she hadnt been snooping because i have no privacy and no space of my own lol#so might as well drink it i guess it was 30 bucks anyway and i dont have any fucking moneyyyyyyyy so what am i#who am i fucking KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG lol its fucked its all fucked!!! whatever!!! who give a shit!!! nothing fucking matters
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babyboybuckley · 2 months
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Life really is crazy sometimes huh
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erigold13261 · 5 months
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so uhh what is your timezone becase clearly we aren't in the same sleep schedule
I'm in EST! I go to sleep around 12-4am depending on the day (if I work it's closer to 12-1am, if I don't then it's 3-4am) then wake up around 11 am (technically I get out of bed at 11am and wake up around 8-9am).
So yea! I just have a weird sleep schedule! My queue is during the day for me (like 9am-7pm, 3 times a day now), and I just answer asks immediately whenever I get an easy one or one that doesn't make sense to queue for a week later to post (which is why some come out at like 2am lol).
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applejarjar · 1 year
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Damn, ppl do this waiting for a job offer thing all the time?
#Fucking sucks#I literally interviewed yesterday at 430pm and I'm already impatient#I also had the one thursday morning that I did which I found out I am currently the sole candidate for#Although I expect to see that change very soon because I learned that from another person in my program#Who is probably also going to apply though I'm not sure if she'd have much of an advantage over me ironically#Because she's vastly overqualified but it's also not in her degrees wheelhouse#And I'm also really hoping my travel partner is going to be given the chance to interview for the position#Because I think it'd suit them well and they didn't get a fair shot at it before even though they'd do great#Plus if I manage to get the other apparently exceedingly more competitive position I would get to work with either of them#And already know someone at the facility and even get to learn with them!!#It'd be a slightly different schedule though#Both days which everyone says is nice but I just don't like the idea of working a 6 am to 6 pm shift oof#The job where I'm currently the only candidate is an 8 am to 4 pm with the option to start and end earlier#The more flexible schedule definitely appeals to me#Also it's a supervisor job without ppl to supervise so that's closer to what I'm used to working with#But I joined this program to work on those ppl skills so I'm good with either position#I just think the less competitive one is really cool because it's unique and an interesting challenge#I know I sound like a baby but I also hope I won't have to do followup interviews#I've been so nervous this whole time trying to prepare and not flub it like I sorta did the first interview#But this last one was with one of the guys that I believe has a final say in who gets hired#So I hope his impression of me takes precedence over the external guy whose questions I kinda misinterpreted then fumbled through#I just really want to work in this facility and even if I don't land either of these jobs I'm going to apply to every damn job that pops up#Though I will be absolutely devestated if I don't get them first go#Cause technically I already lost one when they wouldn't even interview me#Which was understandable because my resume wasn't just a bit outdated after only 4 months but actually very bad and needed major work#Cause it made it seem like I was still in college and not a full time employee with a degree#I thought it just needed my current experience added but nah it required a huge overhaul to get it in working order again#So I feel like I really blew my chance there and was bummed that I couldn't even get a fighting chance by landing an interview#So when they let me interview for this one I was so excited! Like here's my chance!! And I think I did really well on the second one!#I'm just nervous that I'd mess up a followup interview or they'd end up telling me I wasnt a good enough fit
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cleargreyskies · 2 years
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If you are ever in Sweden without having a Swedish personal number: try not to have a health issue that a slightly specialised doctor needs to look at. The system is frustrating.
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angelltheninth · 2 years
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Arcane Characters Waking Up With Your Head Between Their Thighs
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel, Ambessa x Reader
Tags: nsfw, smut, dirty talk, cunnilingus, blowjobs, handjobs, hair pulling (for Reader), praise, slight somnophilia
A/N: I don't know how this one came to me but it did.
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Jinx would probably close her legs around your head on instinct. Given how many times you've eaten her out before it's not that odd that she'd have a few dreams about it too.
Seeing you eating her out first thing in the morning sure as hell doesn't make her wanna get out of bed any sooner. Oh there are things on the agenda for the day sure, but feeling your mouth on her makes all those thoughts fly out the window.
"I see someone was was having the same dream I was and decided to make it a reality eh sugar? If this was your plan to wake me up and get me to get out of bed it's working very poorly. I'd much rather spend the morning riding your pretty face."
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Vi has never had this happen before and actually her first instinct was to try and kick you. Oh she saw you make your way down there but she thought she was dreaming, so when she actually felt your lips on her she tried to kick at you. Luckily she missed.
Once she heard you yelp she was more than awake and aware of what you were trying to do. She found it really sweet but maybe next time wait until she's fully awake. Like... right now for instance.
"Fuck, shit, I'm so sorry! I almost broke your nose sweet stuff. Now that'd be a damn shame wouldn't it? I don't wanna ruin you wonderful face. Nah, I think it's damn cute what you tried to do. Go ahead, then, I'm fully awake now and... well you made me all wet already."
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Caitlyn would moan, so loud and wonton the moment your lips make contact with her cunt. Her hands would be in your hair before you know it, her eyes still a little hazy as she relaxes more into the bed.
She loves being woken up like this, especially since the two of you don't get much opportunity for morning sex. But by gods she can't get enough right now, of your tongue poking and prodding into her cunt, spreading her lips with your fingers and diving in further, making her turn her head into her pillow to muffle her cries of your name.
"Darling ah-! You're really going to do this? Hmm... you're very good for me aren't you? Fuck. Am I gripping you too hard, does it hurt? Then could you put your tongue in please? Yes! Gods! Just a little... there! Gods, darling, I love you!"
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Ekko would be a little spooked but not because of what you're doing but more out of fear of someone walking in on the two of you. Gods know none of his friends would ever let him live it down.
After a little convincing, most of which is done by you kissing and sucking along his cock he can't help but lay his head back onto the pillow, his hands gentle threading through your hair, encouraging you to keep going, nice and slow, he wants to enjoy this wake up call for a good, long while.
"Firefly! What are you- oh! Hmmn! What if someone walks in? Don't worry about it? Well... but... gods your mouth... ok, ok. Go slow, go slow. You can keep going, just go slow, I want to enjoy this properly cause when the fuck are we ever gonna find the time to do this again?"
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Silco is the last person who's gonna complain about you sucking his dick first thing in the morning. In fact he thinks it should become a regular thing.
He'd curl his first into your hair, not tugging or pushing, just keeping it there as you bob your head up and down. He might tell you to go a little faster if he has something more urgent to do for the day, but otherwise he's happy to enjoy a slow, and horny morning with you.
"Enjoying yourself darling? Don't be shy, get back to it, I quite liked it. Is this your new way of waking me up hm? If not maybe it should be. And don't worry, once you're done I fully intent on returning the favor."
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If you surprise Sevika by giving her cunnilingus first thing in the morning don't expect to leave her apartment for the whole day.
You can leave the bed but she will either drag you back fairly soon or follow you where ever you went and have sex with you again. You can expect a few scratches along your back early in the morning as well as her pushing your head closer as she rides your face, urging you to go faster, deeper.
"Where are you off to sweetheart? You didn't think we were done already did you? Fuck work, you can't tongue fuck me and think that'll be the end of it. Now come back here, or maybe you wanna do it somewhere else? Come on tell me. Showers, couch, table, wall, I'll fuck your brains out today sweetheart, you can bet on it."
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Viktor is a little surprised by how bold you are but he's not gonna tell you to stop, not even he's already so painfully hard for you.
He doesn't hold back his moans or his whimpers as he watches you with hooded eyes. He tries very hard not to make a mess of you but he can't exactly help it, your mouth and tongue and hand feel so wonderful. He needs to come, he needs to watch his cum dripping down your chin.
"Good morning darling, did you decide to have an early snack? Haha, sure, go ahead, I won't complain. Hmn! Slow down a little! I'm trying to hold back, I really am, but you... shit! Fuck, I'm sorry darling, it seems like I made a bit of a mess of you haven't I? Well we can always get cleaned up together."
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Jayce would think he's dreaming at first. He'd grab your hair and fuck you rough, just like he does when he's really dreaming. Only when he realizes he's awake he would stop immedietly.
He'd go apologize only for his apology to turn into a long moan as you wrap your lips around his cock again, your eyes pleading for him to hard again, to fuck your mouth till he's content. He's a little hesitant at first but he can't say no to that needy look in your eyes, to your little whimpers.
"Keep going babe, take my cock, faster, come on, take it fucking deep in your... oh! Oh! I... I'm sorry! Are you... uh... that was... I thought I was dreaming. You doing ok? I can get a little rough when I'm... oh fuck! You wanna keep going? You do huh? You want me to talk dirty to you while you choke on my cock? Yeah? Go on then, it's all yours to suck."
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Mel welcomes it for sure. She's not used to waking up like that, mostly because she wakes up quite early and is usually the one to have to wake you up.
She would wrap her legs around your shoulders while slowly running her hand through your hair, scratching at your scalp when you hit that sweet spot inside her. Might try to hold back her moans but will eventually stop holding herself back and scream your name as loud as she needs to.
"This is quite a nice surprise darling? Is it a special occasion or do you plan on making it a reoccurring thing? I certainly hope it's the second option. If you get back to it right now I might have time to give you a surprise as well."
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Ambessa thinks it's quite brave of you to go down on her so early. She knows that you know how she can't get enough of you, and this certainly isn't helping.
She would pull you into a kiss, flip you over on your back and then straddle your head. You need to finish what you started, and if you do a good enough job, not only with you get to have your fill of you but she'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to walk for a week.
"Sweetheart I admire your boldness but you should have known I won't let you off easy. Lay down, give me your tongue, nice and deep now. Good, you're being so good. Keep going, and when you're... hmm... when you're done I'm gonna make sure your can't walk straight after. Again, haha."
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omg this just popped into my head and i desperately need it like i literally will not be able to stop thinking about it about it till it is written but, ethan landry x reader fic based on gods and monsters by lana del rey oml like it would be phenomenal… i don’t want it to incorporate the lyrics i just want it based on the idea of the song? but not about them being actual gods and monsters like to her ethan is a god. especially the lyrics “this is heaven, what i truly want. it’s innocence lost.”. basically reader is super innocent and ethan sees her as an angel and feels the need to ruin her and she sees him as a god and is obsessed with him. super smutty and him praising her and talking her through it. i know this was a lot but i am obsessed with your writing and i think if you wrote this it would be amazing, but only if you’re comfortable 🫶☺️
HI! I hope this was what you wanted. 💕
Gods & Monsters - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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This contains SMUT - Minors DNI
Summary: You're obsessed with Ethan and he's obsessed with you, but he'd dying to destroy your innocence.
Contains: Fluff-ish moments, Smut - Oral(m and f receiving), fingering, p in v, riding, rough-ish sex. Reader isn't a virgin but doesn't have a lot of experience.
A/N: This was one of the fics I lost the other day, and I'm so sad because I liked what I'd already written before. BUT I was determined to get this done lmao
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You didn’t expect to fall so hard for Ethan Landry. What started as a small crush on one of your friends led to full-blown infatuation. Once you found yourself hanging off every word that slipped past his perfect lips, always making sure you were beside him whenever you’d go out with your friends, and even letting your grades slip a little just so you’d have the excuse to be alone with him to study, you realized how fucked you were. You didn’t care, though, because he’s everything you wanted.
He was tall, and very attractive. But what really sucked you in was the way he lit up whenever he talked to you about the things he was passionate about. The way his voice sounded first thing in the morning when you’d all spent the night at Tara’s. The way he ignored any other girls that looked in his direction, at least when he was with you.
Ethan was just as caught up in you as you were with him. The first night you walked into Tara’s, he could’ve sworn you were literally glowing. He thought you were the most gorgeous girl he’d ever seen, and once he talked to you and realized how sweet you were, he knew he had to make you his. He found himself daydreaming about taking you on dates, holding your hand, kissing you. But sometimes, his thoughts weren’t so innocent.
He knew you weren’t a virgin, but after a drunken game of ‘Never Have I Ever’ turned sexual, he learned that there were a lot of things you hadn’t done. He wanted to be the first, and hopefully only person you’d do those things with. He even went as far as wondering how you’d sound, the faces you’d make, how much of him you could take in your mouth before it was too much. He felt a little guilty from time to time for thinking about you in that way, because you were just so sweet. But the desire to destroy your innocence just kept getting stronger, no matter how hard he’d try to push those thoughts about you to the side.
The two of you shamelessly flirted with each other, so much that the rest of your friends thought there was something more going on than there was. It wasn’t uncommon for Ethan to pull you into his lap whenever there wasn’t an empty seat available beside him, or for the two of you to be so caught up in your own conversations that you’d forget your friends were even there. He wanted to take things to the next level, but he’d always get nervous and shut down whenever he got close to kissing you.
You lived down the hall from Tara, which made it so convenient for you and Ethan’s study sessions. Whenever you had plans with your friends, Ethan would come to your apartment to study with you before. With exams coming up, Ethan couldn’t stop thinking about how he needed to get over his nerves and finally make a move. He knew he’d still get to see you, but he wouldn’t have the excuse to spend alone time with you.
As Ethan sat on your bed, his fingers moving against his keyboard, you started to get bored. He kept peaking over his laptop screen to see you stretched out on your stomach at the foot of your bed, scrolling through your phone.
“That’s not homework,” he said, playfully scolding you as you sat up to look at him.
“If I have to keep looking at anything school related, I’m going to go crazy.”
“We still have over an hour before we have to go to Tara’s. What would you like to do?” He asked, closing his computer to give you his attention.
“We could watch a funny movie. I need to laugh,” you suggested, as he shook his head.
“We don’t have enough time for that…but,” he said, sitting his laptop on the bed beside him. “I know how to make you laugh.”
He smirked as he crawled closer to you. You knew what was coming, the slight look of panic in your eyes making him chuckle before his fingers dug into your sides.
“Ethan,” you whined, trying to grab at his hands to pull them off you. You were starting to tear up from laughing, and your breathing was getting heavier. “Stop it! You’re going to make me fall off the bed!”
“I’d never let that happen,” he said, his fingers not letting up.
“Seriously, Ethan!” You were starting to wheeze from laughing so hard, so he finally pulled his hands away. You placed one of your hands on your chest as you tried to take deep breaths, as Ethan settled back into the spot he was in before on your bed. “That was so mean.”
“I think it’s funny that you’ve never tried to get me back,” he said, a smug look on his face. “Is it because I’m stronger than you?”
“Knowing you, you’d have me pinned to the bed so I wouldn’t be able to move while you tickled me.”
Ethan got a little caught up in the idea of that. He wanted to have you pinned to the bed, but not to tickle you. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you were moving closer to him, the only thing bringing him back into the moment was when your fingertips started to move against his sides.
“Hey!” he said through his laughter as he grabbed at your hands. You weren’t going to give up easily, so you moved to straddle him, pulling your hands away every time he reached for them. “Please, you gotta stop!”
“No,” you said, your hands moving further up his ribs, making him laugh even harder. He knew it wasn’t meant to be sexual, but the way your ass was rubbing against him as you moved was making him hard.
“Stop!” he yelled, finally grabbing your hands. Your face dropped as you looked at him, and he immediately felt guilty for yelling at you like that. “I’m sorry…you’re just,” he said, letting out a gasp once you started to move off him, your eyes going wide once you felt how hard he was underneath you. “That. You’re making me hard.”
“Oh,” you softly said, staring at the bulge in his jeans. “Is it a bad thing that I did?”
“No…I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he sighed, before he sat up. “Does it make you uncomfortable that you do that to me?”
He watched your cheeks turn pink at his question. This wasn’t how he planned on making his move, but the door was wide open for him to have the conversation.
“No,” you said, “have I made you hard before?”
“I get hard just thinking about you,” he confessed, the sexual tension in the room getting stronger as each second passed.
You were starting to get nervous as you sat there. You didn’t have the most experience in the world, your previous sexual encounters with your ex mainly consisted of you just laying there and waiting until he was done, so you didn’t know how to give a blow job. But you wanted to learn. You wanted Ethan to teach you.
“Can I…suck it?” you asked, his eyes growing wide. “Sorry, stupid question.”
“No, it’s not stupid…do you want me to tell you how to do it?” he asked, as you smiled and nodded. “Okay, uh, I’ll just get these off.”
He slid off the side of your bed and unbuttoned his jeans before shimmying them down his legs. You gawked as you saw the tent in his boxers, wondering if you were in over your head for even thinking you could do this.
“I hate to ask this…” no he didn’t. “But would you want to get on the floor? It’d be easier for you.” You nodded as you slid off the side of the bed and stood in front of him. “Wait,” he said, once you started to drop to your knees. You stood back up to face him, as he leaned in to kiss you. You needily kissed him back, your hands on his cheeks as he started to rub your hips. Once you pulled back, he smiled at you. “You don’t feel like you have to do this, right?”
“No, I want to do this,” you said, looking at him as you sank onto the floor.
“Fuck…eye contact like that is good,” he said, running his fingers through your hair. “I guess I’ll just slide these down.”
His fingers hooked under the waistband of his boxers as he slid them down his thighs, his cock springing free right in front of your face. He let out a sweet laugh once he noticed how wide your eyes got.
“Do I just put it in my mouth?” you asked, as he groaned at how innocent you were.
“Let’s start with just touching it,” he suggested, as you nodded and reached your hand up. “Wrap your hand around it…just like that, baby,” he said, taking a deep breath as he tried to contain himself. “Now move your hand back and forth, but not too fast.”
You did as he said, your eyes glancing between his and his cock. You weren’t sure if you were good at what you were doing, but he was breathing heavier the longer you did it.
“Do you want to try to put it in your mouth?” he asked, as you nodded and leaned forward. “How about you just do what you think is right and I’ll tell you if it’s bad or good?”
“Okay,” you shyly said, hoping that you would get it right.
Ethan’s biggest fantasy was coming to fruition. His head was spinning as you took the head of his cock in your mouth, your hand still stroking him. Even though you weren’t a virgin, he still felt like he was devirginizing you, at least in this way.
“That’s perfect,” he said, his eyes looking into yours as you sucked on his sensitive tip. “Try to take a little more.”
You did as he said, easing a little more of him into your mouth. His hand tangled in your hair, his grip loose. The last thing he wanted was to push you too far and make you want to stop when you’d just started. He was about to ask you for more, when you boldly took as much of him as you could in your mouth, to the point that you were gagging around him. You quickly pulled your head back, refusing to make eye contact like you’d just done something wrong.
“Hey,” Ethan said, his hand that was in your hair moved to your chin. He tilted your head so you’d look at him, your eyes already watery from the gagging. “If you want to keep going, there’s a little tip that helps with that.”
He showed you the thumb trick, and talked to you about bobbing your head too, along with moving your hand. Once you felt like you had a better understanding of what you needed to do, you leaned forward, taking just as much of him in your mouth as you did before.
You were still gagging a little, but not as bad as you did the first time. Your mouth kept getting more and more wet, the feeling making Ethan groan. His hand snaked back in your hair as he fought the urge to thrust in your mouth.
“You’re doing such a good job,” he praised, “Twist your hand a little…oh fuck.”
You were catching on quickly, and Ethan was so proud of you. Your eyes stayed on his, even when tears started to slip past your lower lash line. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, his grip on your hair tightening.
“Can I try something?” he asked, his eyes pleading with yours. You hummed around him to let him know he could, because the last thing you wanted to do was pull him out of your mouth.
He started to thrust past your lips as you gagged around him, your free hand gripping your thumb as hard as you could. Big, fat teardrops were flowing down your cheeks, but you were loving it. His eyes were fluttering as his jaw dropped open, but he still stayed focused on you, not wanting any of this to be too much.
“I’m gonna cum,” he said, his voice a little raspy from his panting. “Can I cum in your mouth?”
You hummed around him again to respond, the vibrations around his cock sending him over the edge as his hand tensed up in your hair, tugging on it harder than he wanted to. You just kept moaning around him, so turned on as his salty cum coated your tastebuds. He gave a few more weak thrusts as his hand in your hair relaxed before he slowly slid out of your mouth.
“Are you okay?” he asked, reaching down to take your hand. He helped you to your feet before wiping the tears off your cheeks.
“Yeah, I liked that,” you said, your voice raw from all the gagging. “Can we do it again?”
“We can do anything you want to,” he said, placing his hands on your hips to hold you close. “But right now, can I eat you out?”
“Oh, Um,” you mumbled, your cheeks getting rosy at the idea. “You want to do that?”
“I’m not your ex,” he said, smirking at you. “I bet he never made you cum.”
“He didn’t,” you sighed, as Ethan backed you towards the bed.
“I will,” he said, as he started to lift your shirt.
Ethan got you out of your jeans and shirt, leaving you in just your bra and panties. He hovered over you, his mouth moving against your neck as his hand roamed your body. You were squirming as you tried to patient, but it was getting harder for you, especially when his hand reached in between your thighs and rubbed you over your panties.
“So wet,” he mumbled against your neck, his breath giving you goosebumps. “I can’t wait to taste you.”
He pulled his hand away as he sat up, grabbing your hands for you to sit up, too. His hands reached around you to unhook your bra, his mouth not leaving your neck as he slid the straps down your arms and threw it to the other side of the room.
“We have to go to Tara’s soon,” you reminded him, as he pulled away and started to laugh.
“We’re probably going to be late.”
He leaned down, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You started to whimper as he sucked, pulling off it with a soft pop before he moved to the other side.
Once his lips trailed further down your body, you were trying so hard to be in the moment, but your mind started to wander. You practically worshiped the ground Ethan walked on, and all he wanted in that moment was you, but you still didn’t know if this was going to anything more than a friends with benefits situation, or if he wanted to be with you like you wanted to be with him.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked, pulling you from your thoughts as he started to kiss your inner thighs.
“Mmm, it’s nothing,” you moaned once he started to suck your flesh into his mouth.
He pulled away to look at you, “No, tell me.”
You sighed in frustration, both from him stopping and you really didn’t want to pour your heart out to him in that moment. But he just kept staring at you, waiting for you to say something.
“I’ve…fuck,” you sighed, taking a deep breath. “I want this…but I need to know how you feel about me.”
He smiled at you as your blush spread across your cheeks. “You haven’t realized that I’m in love with you yet?”
“In love with me?” you asked, as he slid your panties down your legs.
“Mhm, I’m fucking obsessed with you,” he said, before he buried his head between your thighs.
“Shit,” you gasped, as his tongue licked fat stripes from your entrance to your clit.
He started to focus on your clit, giving all the attention to your needy bundle of nerves. You looked down to see that he was watching you, taking in all the little faces you were making. He was alternating between swirling and lightly sucking, the stimulation making your entire body feel hot.
He slid one of his fingers inside of you, your legs feeling shaky as he moved it against the spot inside of you that you weren’t even sure existed. He watched you start to fall apart over just one finger, and once he added another one, you were a whimpering mess. He licked your clit a few more times before he pulled away to talk to you, his fingers still moving.
“You never told me how you feel about me,” he said, curving his fingers to apply more pressure.   
“Unfff, fuck,” you whined, your hands tightly gripping the comforter underneath you.
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll stop,” he playfully said, smirking as his fingers brought you closer to the edge.
Your brain was turning to mush, but you pulled yourself together for a second, not wanting him to stop. “I’m in love with you, too.”
He leaned back down to your clit, sucking on it a little harder than he had before. Your whines got louder as the euphoric feeling washed over you, his free hand holding down your bucking hips. It felt so good that your eyes started to water, your entire body tingling as he worked you through it.
Just as you came down from your high, you heard a knock coming from your front door. You were too fucked out from Ethan’s fingers to even care, as he started to laugh.
“I bet that’s Tara,” he said, as he laid down beside you. “We’re late.”
“Fuck,” you groaned, lazily sliding your naked body off the side of your bed, landing on your feet.
You grabbed your robe and put it on, your legs still wobbly as you made your way to the front door. You looked out the peephole to see Tara and Mindy.
“Hey,” Tara said once you opened the door, her smile dropping once she noticed you weren’t dressed. “Are you still coming over?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there soon,” you said, noticing both of them staring at something. “What?”
“Is Ethan here?” Mindy asked, a smirk playing on her lips as she realized what was going on.
“Yeah, we’ll both be over in a few,” you said, still not understanding what they were looking at.
“Okay…you might want to cover that up before you come over,” Mindy said, gesturing to your neck as Tara started to giggle.
You bit your bottom lip as the embarrassment hit, realizing that Ethan sucking on your neck earlier must’ve left a hickey.
“No, you know what? You guys finish whatever ‘studying’ you’re doing, then come over. We’re sorry for interrupting,” Tara said, fighting off her laughter as she and Mindy walked down the hall to her apartment.
You sighed as you closed the door, knowing that you and Ethan were definitely going to be grilled once you did go to Tara’s.
“Why didn’t you tell me you put this on my neck?” you said, glancing at it in the mirror after you walked back in your room.
“Are you embarrassed that they know you’re mine?” he questioned, walking up behind you. He rested his head against your shoulder, but your mind was in a haze once you felt his hard cock pressing against you.
“You know how long I’ve wanted to be yours? I’m definitely not embarrassed,” you said, making him laugh as he moved your hair to the side the place more kisses to your neck.
“Well, I did hear them say we should finish studying,” he said, as his hand reached over to untie your robe. “I’m not done studying you yet.”
“Fuck,” you gasped, when his hand started to massage one of your breasts, gently pinching at your nipple. Your back leaned against his chest as you relaxed into his touches, your breathing getting heavier as his hand trailed lower. “Can I be on top?”
“For a little bit, yeah,” he mumbled against you as his fingers rubbed across your still-soaked pussy. “Is that okay?”
“Mhm.”
You had so many things you wanted to do with Ethan, so many things you hadn’t experienced yet. Any nerves you had about your inexperience faded, your confidence showing as you got on top to straddle him.
“Take your time, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, as you grabbed his cock that was resting against his lower stomach. You lined him up with your entrance and started to sink down on him. “So tight,” he groaned, as you tried to get used to the stretched-out feeling. He wasn’t all the way in and you already felt so full.
“Mmm,” you moaned once you’d taken all of him, your ass meeting the top of his thighs.
You took a minute, trying to adjust your legs to the most comfortable position as his hands ran up your sides. Once you started to bounce on him, his hands went to your hips to help you move. Your bottom lip went in between your teeth as you held eye contact with him. Once he started to thrust up into you, your hands went to your breasts, massaging them as he helped your hips meet his.
He loved having you on top, and he loved watching the way your tits bounced, but he needed to be in control. He needed to push your limits a little until you were falling apart underneath him. He held your hips in place a few seconds before he flipped you over, a squeal flying out of your mouth. He smirked down at you before he grabbed the back of your thighs, pushing them toward you with his hands.
“Stop me if anything hurts, okay?” he said, as you smiled and nodded. He slid back inside of you, his hands right below the back of your knees as he started to pound into you.
Your mouth fell open as he fucked you, every sound that built up in your throat flying out. He was so deep, but the tip of his cock hit your g-spot with every thrust.
“That feel good?” he asked, pushing your legs closer to you. You babbled in response, the new angle making him go even deeper. “Look at you, so cock drunk, so perfect.”
All you could do was whimper as you felt yourself getting close. You were fighting to keep your fluttering eyes open, because you didn’t want to miss a single second of watching him. The beautiful boy that you’d fallen so hard for had a thin layer of sweat on his forehead that his curls were starting to stick to, his bottom lip was in between his teeth. You felt so submissive as you just laid there and took it. You were okay with him using you in whatever way he wanted, because you’d do anything for him.
“You gonna cum, baby?” he asked, as he felt your walls start to flutter.
“Yes!” you cried out, your hands shakily gripping the comforter again as the wave crashed into you so hard your vision got fuzzy. You kept trying to talk as he fucked you through it, his teeth showing as he smiled at your babbles.
“I’m almost there, baby. Can you take it a little longer?” he asked as your eyes peeled open to look at him.
“Yes, it feels so good,” you moaned, as he sped up, chasing his orgasm.
Your body kept jolting like little aftershocks from the intensity of your own orgasm, and you were feeling a little overstimulated, but the last thing you wanted was for him to stop. He was going so fast and so deep as he panted, mumbling your name as his head started to roll back.
“Gonna…fuck. Cum,” he said, pulling his cock out and shooting his release all over your tummy. He caught his breath as he looked at you through his hooded eyes. You smiled at him as he moved to lay on the bed beside you.
“I think we need to shower,” you said, glancing down at his cum on you. “I don’t really have anything that has a manly scent, though.”
“That’s okay. I’ll get to smell like you,” he said, his fingertips brushing against your arm.
After your shower with Ethan, you concealed the giant purple mark on your neck and took the walk of shame over to Tara’s. Your friends got quiet as you walked in, glancing back and forth between you and Ethan.
“Sooo,” Chad said, noticing Ethan’s wet hair, “Did you two finally realize that you’re meant to be together?”
“Oh yeah,” Ethan said, as Chad walked over to dap him up.
“It’s about time. It was getting exhausting to watch the two of you,” Mindy said, as Tara nodded in agreement.
You, Ethan and Chad walked over to sit on the couch as Mindy pushed play on the movie she was waiting to start until you got there. After a few minutes, Chad looked over to Ethan.
“Dude, this is a little blunt, but you smell so good right now.”
You started to giggle as Ethan laughed and wrapped his arm around you, holding you close.
“He’s right, you do smell good.”
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fuckmyskywalker · 1 month
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also i just thought of what if you had a gangbang w all of hayden’s characters…
🫧
This is elaborated, disgusting, obviously 18+, selfish (because I imagined me), too long to be real and... maybe tmi.
Up first, Anakin would the jealous one. He wants to go first and he claims he has the right. He wants to be the first one to fuck my pussy and I'm not even mad about it. Going all the way just to give a very unnecessary show about how good and how hard he can fuck. He isn't thrilled about the whole thing but if he has to do it, he needs to show everyone (and by everyone I mean men who have his literal fucking face...) and makes sure to come inside. What a fucking brat he can be.
We all know I have a soft spot for Clay Beresford. He isn't exactly happy about the whole sharing thing but if I'm happy, he's happy ;) Most likely to fuck my face while Anakin fucks me. Maybe I'm being too disgusting but oh well, who cares. He is sweeter and definitely the ultimate soft dom. That doesn't mean he's not going to fuck my face until I almost pass out and make a mess of spit and tears on his thighs. He's the type to come on my face.
Sam Monroe... well, he is the impatient one. Always bitching and whining "when's my turn?", until Anakin snaps and smacks him. He'll get hard as fuck from just watching— he is the voyeurist type and you can't change my mind— and will ask to fuck my face or my tits. He could go down on me but I can totally see him saying that if he does it, he's going to taste Anakin's cock and that would be a little gay. He wants me to swallow (secretly wants me to spit it in his mouth, which is a little gay, Sam).
James Kelly... uh, well he gives me the vibes of being into anal, I'm not particularly interested in it but if he wants to, then I want to. I just can't say no to that man. He'd be gentle at first, then gradually fuck faster and harder and he looks like he gives slaps so fucking hard I wouldn't mind a sore ass tomorrow morning. Also the type to come inside.
Scott Barringer— definitely the shy one. Jerking off just by watching and he needs to be guided. I personally think he wouldn't feel prepared for 'fucking' so he's happy with a handjob and maybe a little blowjob <3. He is the whiny one too and he also wants me to swallow... and a little appreciation kiss after he comes.
Lorenzo, okay, okay. He wouldn't mind at all to eat me out after Anakin fucked me because he is just that hot. He looks like he knows how to eat pussy and he is the handsy type, touching, groping, slapping and pinching every inch of skin available as he makes sure to clean Anakin's mess and make me even messier. Maybe, just maybe he's the one who offers 69 because he is just that guy (also not a big fan of it but for him... anything).
A.J. and fuck, he can do whatever he wants. I think he'd pick blowjob and then cowgirl. He likes to see me do the work, and he is a tits man so expect tit slapping...
Which brings me to Billy Quinn who will most certainly use the opportunity to fuck my ass while A.J. fucks my pussy— bonus points for this combo because Billy looks like he'd pinch nipples while he fucks from behind and A.J. is fucking amazing at dirty talk (plus he's the only one I could talk Spanish with so... that thought alone makes me die). Both would come inside.
This is biased but David Rice would fuck my pussy (at this point how am I not dead) while I'd totally suck Stephen Glass' ass (not the fucking rhyme). I'd even stroke his cock while I do that, multitask queen. David gives me the vibes to come on my back, I don't know why, and Stephen wouldn't last long because he loves to have his ass eaten... we all know that. He would probably cry if I start fingering him too, pretty boy.
Obviously everything is raw and nasty, they all took multiple STDs tests (Lorenzo took like 6) and there isn't a particular order after Anakin but he just wants to make clear that he owns me and blah blah— also most likely to fuck me again after it's done just to make his statement clear.
Or they can all get me on my knees and jerk off on my face and shower me with cum 👍🏻🥳 party!!!
I can't believe I wrote this. I hope it's not too nasty... and if it is, then you are in the right place.
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honey-words · 11 months
Text
spider boy — spider-man!midoriya izuku x reader
synopsis:   you’ve talked to your neighbor a few times before and have waved at him on campus. But you’ve noticed he keeps really weird hours, sometimes hearing him go into his apartment at ungodly hours of the night. So when spider-man enters your apartment one night, it’s easy for you to connect the dots from there. 
content warnings: mentions of blood/injuries, hints of angst, hurt/comfort
wc: 3.1k
author’s note: I believe in spider-man!deku supremacy :)
part 1 of the spider boy series
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“Spider-man does it again! Only three blocks from the UA university campus, the masked hero—”
“You’re a spider-man fan?”
You jumped, almost dropping your phone and falling off of the bench in the process. 
“Midoriya! You scared me.”
He laughed and you paused the video you were watching, a news clip from this morning. He settled down beside you on the bench, taking a sip of his iced coffee as he did. 
“Yeah, I guess I am a fan,” you said. “Campus PD sucks and I think it’s funny a spider guy is more reliant than all of them put together.”
You both shared a laugh. 
“I have to get to class,” Midoriya sighed, not making any movements to get up from the bench. “How’s Moony?”
“She’s great, thanks for asking,” you said, smiling back at him. Because Midoriya was the definition of a perfect neighbor. He had introduced himself when you first moved in and he saw the small cat carrier with a little black kitten, Moony, inside of it. From there it had been a pleasant acquaintanceship between the two of you. 
“I’ll see you later, then,” he said, really standing up this time. “Bye!”
You waved goodbye as he left, then turned back to the video. 
A thief had been running loose on campus for the last week, snatching cell phones and wallets from unsuspecting students on their way to class. Campus PD had found the thief this morning, literally on their doorstep with a sticky note that had a spider sketch stuck on his face. 
A smaller feat of Spider-Man’s, but a good one nonetheless. 
During your first lecture of the day you could see other people were watching the same video and reading the accompanying article. It was the first time Spider-Man had acted so close to campus, practically on the grounds of it considering where he had turned in the thief. 
The person in front of you had a Reddit post pulled up, and you had to bite your cheek to refrain from laughing as you read the title. Spider boy or whatever is totally a UA student. Here’s my proof!!!!
Finding the professor’s lecture increasingly dry and dull, you decided to pull up the Reddit tab on your own laptop so you could read it, too. 
By the time the lecture was over you had read the entire post (it was surprisingly long) and all of the comments underneath it, half-convinced of the theory yourself. It made some reasonable arguments—Spider-Man stuck to the surrounding city, usually went around at night, rarely seen throughout the day—keeping with the schedule of a college student. Sticking to the surrounding city pointed to the fact that he lived near campus. And the latest crime he’d solved was the cherry on top, because the alerts about it had gone out to all campus members since the incidents were contained to the campus. 
The dull lecture came with dull readings, which you idly flipped through later that night. It was nearing 1 am, but sleep had not yet found you, and even the reading was not putting you to sleep. 
You must’ve dozed off on your tiny kitchen table, Moony curled up on the chair next to you, because her surprised meow and the sound of a door closing close by woke you up a few hours later. Your phone lit up with an email notification (professors were truly unhinged with their work hours) and you were able to see the time without lifting your head up from the table. 4 am. 
The door that had closed and woken you and Moony up had been Midoriya’s, you realized even in your half-asleep state. Occasionally the sound would wake you up, but you never minded it much and usually rolled over and fell back asleep. 
This time you had to drag yourself over to your bed, and you could vaguely hear Midoriya moving around next door. What business he had this early in the morning you never knew. He seemed pretty normal, and you always assumed he was fond of late library study sessions. Even if it was not exactly exam season. But then again, he was a biochem major, you mused. 
You fell asleep wondering about this and woke up five hours later to the sound of your blaring alarm. It snapped you awake, enough to hear a thud from next door. Did Midoriya fall out of bed?
The day passed as usual. You went to class, took half-hearted notes (it was hard to focus at this point in the semester—everyone was already burnt out) came home and ate dinner with Moony, and cuddled up on the couch together to do your readings. 
This time you were ready to pass out outside of the warm embrace of your bed, so you’d done your nightly routine and brought over blankets to the couch, ready for sleep to come whenever it was ready. 
The sound that woke you up this time was much louder. And Moony hissed. 
She never hissed. 
You froze from your curled-up position on the couch, eyes still heavy with sleep and senses scrambling to catch up with your brain and racing heart. The coffee table was right across from you, and by some miracle, you’d been sipping on a lemonade earlier—one in a glass bottle. 
As swiftly as you could, you untangled yourself from the blankets and grabbed the lemonade bottle, wielding it in front of you like a sword.
It slipped from your grasp when you saw who was standing in front of you, next to your open window you always kept closed, scared Moony would climb out. 
As if on reflex, as if he expected you to drop your weapon, Spider-Man shot a web just as it slipped from your fingers, catching it in his hands before you could even register you had dropped it.
Moony, who had been very annoyed at being woken up just a minute ago, was now rubbing her head on his shins affectionately. 
“Moony,” you whispered. “Get away from him.”
“It’s okay!” Spider-Man said, mirroring your whisper. “I’m not here to hurt anyone.”
You narrowed your eyes. “Then why did you break into my apartment?” You looked around for your phone, or another potential weapon. Instead, your gaze found the small digital clock you kept on a shelf near the door, the bright green numbers clearing away the fogginess of sleep. 
It was 4am. 
You could not help the gasp that escaped you. 
“Midoriya?”
The effect was instantaneous. Spider-Man’s entire body language changed, that much you could tell, even in the dark. He took a step away from you, back toward the window, shoulders tense. 
“What?” he said. Trying hard to keep his voice steady, even deepening it a little. But you knew it was him. 
“Did you think this was your apartment?” You were connecting the dots now. “This is why you always come back so late.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, inching towards the window. “I just got a little lost. Thought this place was empty.”
“You’re bleeding,” you said, pointing at the gash in his arm as though he had not noticed it himself. “Why’re you bleeding?”
Moony meowed, as though echoing your question. She was still close to him, and leaned forward to rub her head against his shin again. 
This seemed to break him—his shoulders drooped and he let out a long exhale. He reached up and pulled the mask off, and you gasped again. 
The left side of his face was covered in bruises, his eye starting to swell a bit. He looked like he was on the verge of tears, glancing down at Moony. 
“Smart cat. She recognized me.” You winced and instinctively moved toward him when he tried to smile and grimaced at the action. 
“Sit down, please,” you said, remembering to speak quietly. “You can’t die in my apartment. You can’t.”
“I won’t,” he said, letting you manhandle him into sitting on the couch. “Promise.”
“If you thought this was your apartment you’re definitely concussed,” you said, reaching up to move his curls aside, careful not to touch his face. The bruises covered his entire left side, also the side his arm was bleeding. “What happened to you?”
You snatched your hand away when he realized he was frozen, eyes to the side where your hand was. 
“I got thrown into a wall,” he said, smiling again. A smaller grimace this time. “I’m really sorry.” 
“You’re sorry for being thrown into a wall?” You shuffled to the kitchen to grab the tiny first aid kit you kept there. It was dusty and unused and consisted mainly of bandaids, something you started laughing at a little hysterically as you opened it on the couch, in between you and Midoriya. He’d leaned back onto the couch, breathing evened out. He was lying so still you thought he was sleeping, until he turned his head to see what you were laughing at. 
“I only have bandaids,” you said, still laughing a little. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh,” he said. “Oh, I didn’t mean…” he started laughing. Quietly, then a little louder until you were both giggling and suppressing loud laughs. 
“It’s okay,” he said, catching his breath again. “Can you help me get to my place? I’m used to patching myself up.” 
It took five minutes, but eventually, you both managed to get out your front door, coaxing Moony to stay inside. Midoriya had one of his arms draped around your shoulder, keeping him upright. He had reassured you plenty of times as you both shuffled out the door that he was fine, he had been through worse. Which only made you feel worse. 
His apartment was the exact same layout as yours, though a little messier, which he apologized for. There were notes all over his kitchen table, his couch was covered in blankets. You had a feeling he was prone to falling asleep all over his apartment like you did.  
“Thank you,” he said once he had settled down on his couch. “I’m really sorry, again.”
“I know,” you said, sitting down beside him. You stared at the clock directly across from you, above his small TV. “I’m sorry for figuring out who you are.”
Another small laugh from him. “S’okay.” he shifted to look at you, and you mirrored him. It would have felt awkward being this close to someone you knew more in passing a day ago, but you felt as though this entire experience had automatically made the two of you friends. A trauma bond, of sorts. “You won’t tell anyone?”
You smiled back at him. “Promise.”
You didn’t remember getting back to your apartment, only that it took a lot of convincing on Midoriya’s part. The second you woke up (on your couch) you rushed to get out the door and knock on Midoriya’s until he opened, if anything to confirm you had not dreamed anything that had happened. But before you could get your slippers on, you saw a small note on the floor in front of the door. 
Two spiders drawn holding hands, with “friends?” written underneath.
You slid it back under his door with your own addition — a drawing of a cat and “friends” written underneath his question. 
——— * * * ———
“Trauma bond?”
“Yeah,” you said, shoving at his shoulder and ignoring his fake wince. “Am I wrong?”
“No,” he agreed, petting a meowing Moony in his lap. He was frowning down at her, and you had been around him long enough to know something was wrong. 
It had been over a month since the break-in incident (which Midoriya was still apologizing for) and you had grown used to each other’s company. It had started off small—seeing him in the library during the day, studying quietly next to him. Stifling your laughter when he slid a spider doodle across the table to you. 
After that, you noticed him around campus more often. You had always greeted him when he crossed your path, stopping to make small talk. But now you actually talked about things of substance. Setting up study sessions, inviting him over to play with Moony, exchanging recipes and even starting to cook at each other’s apartments. 
“Is my pasta not good?” you said. Moony meowed, echoing your question from his lap. 
“It could use some pepper,” he said, smiling teasingly at you. “No, it’s good. Just a rough night.”
“Wanna talk about it?” you said. 
“S’okay,” he said. “We’re trauma bonded enough.” You felt a pang of guilt at the sadness in his tone. 
“Midoriya—” 
“Thank you for the pasta,” he said. “I can help with the dishes.”
“I’m sorry,” you said. “You know we’re friends friends, right?”
He nodded. “I’m messing with you.”
“You little shit!” he laughed as you set your dishes down in the sink, shoving him slightly. He smiled slyly at you. He seemed like the perfect boy next door, but he was really a little shit. And he was the perfect boy next door. 
“I haven’t heard you come back late in a while,” you said. He turned to look at you from his place at the sink, eyebrows raised. 
“You wait up for me?”
“No!” you said indiginantly. “It just used to wake us up.” 
“Really? I’m sorry.”
“S’okay,” you said. “But you have to wake me up if you’re hurt really bad, okay? Even if it’s just to sit with you.”
A small noise of acknowledgement from Midoriya. 
“What was that?”
“Promise.” 
Satisfied, you got up from your place at the table, letting him finish up the dishes. “Are you going out tonight?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Sorry in advance about the early morning wake up call.”
He still would not tell you where he went. But the news reports the next day served as the answers to your questions. A crime solved here, a criminal turned in there. The Spider-Man news page, ran by dedicated fans, was bookmarked on your computer and one of your most visited tabs. On nights when you couldn’t sleep and didn’t know where he was, you would refresh it every few minutes, waiting for an update. 
Sometimes he would go during the day, and when you would get back from class he would be there on your couch with Moony, napping. You would sit on the opposite end and wait for him to wake up, then decide on what to make for lunch together. Not talking about the new bruise on his arm or the new cut on his leg. If he brought it up you knew it was okay to talk about it, but usually you both talked about normal topics. Avoiding the giant spider in the room. 
“All done!” he said, falling down on the couch beside you. Reaching to pet Moony, who was cuddled up on your lap. Arm muscles flexing, hands softly running through Moony’s fur. It was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore how jacked he was. Especially when he was literally always stripping in your apartment, changing from his suit into his regular clothes. Letting you sneak glances at his back, his chest. 
“Take a nap,” you blurted. “If you’re going to be out tonight. You need to rest.”
“I will,” he said, smiling up at you. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m not!” you said, huffing. “You better not visit me tonight. I expect you to kick ass and come back with no injuries.”
“‘Kay,” he said. “See you tomorrow?” You nodded and watched him dramatically sigh, throwing his head back on the couch before getting up and shuffling to the door. 
The rest of your evening was spent anxiously trying to distract yourself. There was a nagging feeling in the back of your head, in the pit of your stomach. After finishing your homework and realizing it was hours before your usual bedtime, you cleaned your apartment. Reorganized, moved things around. 
You decided to settle on the couch for the night. Better place to hear Midoriya come back. 
The sound that jolted you awake a couple hours later was louder than usual, and it woke you up quicker. A quick glance at your clock let you know it was only 1am.
“Midoriya?” you said quietly, sitting up. “You okay?”
He was standing near your window, at almost the exact same spot as a month before, when he had first broken in. 
“No,” he said. Voice hoarse and almost too quiet for you to hear. 
You were up and leading him over to the couch in an instant. His mask was already off, clutched in between his fingers
“Are you hurt?” you said, patting down his arms and running your fingers over his face softly, scared to touch a bruise or aggravate a cut. A shake of his head. 
You gently took the mask from him, setting it down on the coffee table with one hand, the other gripping his hands tightly. “Want to talk about it?”
He nodded, squeezing your hands back. “Later.”
“Okay,” you said, scooting closer to him on the couch so your shoulders pressed together. “I’m here, okay? It’s okay.”
You were ready when his shoulders started shaking and he slid into your hug, staining your shirt with his tears. You ran your hands through his hair, rubbing your fingers along the nape of his neck. Repeating the phrase over and over until it felt like you were trying to convince yourself of the same thing. 
The bruises were on his side this time—no cuts deep enough to warrant him going back to his apartment to patch himself up. You helped him get his suit off slowly. The tears hadn’t stopped, and yours had started fifteen minutes after his. It hurt to see him like this and not know how to help. Knowing all you could do was help him get back to his apartment and keep his secret.
“Can I stay?” he said. He was holding the top half of his suit to his chest, hugging it. 
“Yeah, course you can,” you said. “I’ll get you some clothes.”
Moony walked out of your room with an annoyed meow. She had been sleeping, but once she spotted Midoriya she happily sauntered over, already purring. 
Once he had changed into the clothes his eyes started to droop, and you started convincing him to sleep in your room. He kept shaking his head, until he finally told you, “Don’t want to be alone.” 
“Okay, I’ll stay with you,” you said. Slipped out so easily you had no time to realize you had said it until he nodded and you were walking into your room and settling under the covers, Midoriya turning to face you, lashes wet with tears.
“I’m not leaving,” you said, reaching to intertwine your fingers with his. “You’re okay. We’re okay.”
He blinked slowly at you, sleep making his eyes heavy. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
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