#yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me

[readymades2002]

who even give a fuck. yknow

#getting drunk before work because who gives a shit ^_^d #yesterday was real fucking bad so im thinking like why am i even fucking trying you know none of these assholes even talk to me #unless its to go ermmmm i cant help noticing your department isnt achieving infinite growth when will you guys stop sucking #shit? just curious yhaha and if they want to talk about me they go behind my back and ask other people why im cutting #which a) i wear short sleeves this isnt a secret im keeping and 2) fuck you for deciding its your business and then NOT EVEN #ASKING /ME/ but whatever thy want to get pissy at me for their own failure to communicate fucking let them i dont care #ive been killing myself for this stupid job for a year now i wake up in the morning and my first thought is how bad my knee hurts #im one of the best we've got and what do i have to show for it no one fucking talks to me i dont care #no one will go 'hey did you get fucking sloshed before coming here' becaus etheyre scared of talking to m e for some reason #i literally dont know but if they ask then like who fucking cares this isnt on me i dont feel human doing this job i dont feel like a perso #no one treats me like one unless i waste time quote unquote to not do my job and talk to people who like care if i live or die or whatever #so like who fucking cares even ill do whatever i want ill get drunk before work ill do shit at my job ill talk to someone i love fuck it #whatever!!! should have acted like i was a person instead of ignoring the people youre throwing into a meatgrinder for profit i guess #who fucking cares! #already had my MOTHER get weird about me buyng booze for reasons that are none of her fucking business and that she #wouldnt know the details of anyway if she hadnt been snooping because i have no privacy and no space of my own lol #so might as well drink it i guess it was 30 bucks anyway and i dont have any fucking moneyyyyyyyy so what am i #who am i fucking KIDDINGGGGGGGGGG lol its fucked its all fucked!!! whatever!!! who give a shit!!! nothing fucking matters

[newtkive]

shift shenanigans - s1 social media au

note: jus for fun ! may or may not do more parts.

warnings: crude humor, slightly offensive jokes from richie sry

part two

liked by syd_adamu, marcus.brooks11 and 30 others

chefboyardee: my friends! i love my friends! the two on the right more than the left (i’m joking i promise) 😁😁😁😁

see all 8 comments

syd_adamu: brave of you to call him your friend y/n

↳ chefboyardee: boss man carmy save me

↳ syd_adamu: oh.. :///

marcus.brooks11: you did me so dirty, friend.

↳ chefboyardee: love you marcus you look spectacular

↳ marcus.brooks11: don’t start

richietheking: Where am I?

↳ chefboyardee: ya motha

liked by syd_adamu, chefboyardee and 10 others

richietheking: Getting sh$!t done.

see all 8 comments

marcus.brooks11: This is coolllddd.

↳ richietheking: You already know it man.

syd_adamu: this is actually crazy

carmyberzatto: can you show this on instagram? i think you should delete this.

↳ richietheking: Delete your life.

chefboyardee: come down to the beef for a number 6 the occy way 💯 the safest joint on the block 🤑💯we are 🔛🔝

↳ richietheking: Eyyy I know that’s right.

↳ carmyberzatto: please don’t advertise this.

WE HAVE THE BEEF 🥩

[ 8:25 am ]

y/n:

bruh im about to lose it. heads up when you guys get to work.

marcus: that catering order is about to be crazy

DO NOT REPLY: These white boards are stressing me out.

syd: we know, probably giving you ptsd from not finishing high school

DO NOT REPLY: Fuck you I did finish it.

y/n: oh i gotta change ur contact name richie

richie poo: ????? What

y/n: it was ‘DO NOT REPLY’ lols

marcus: valid

syd: real

richie poo: What? Why?! That’s so rude

y/n: cuz you piss me off

and you kept blowing up my phone yesterday

richie poo: You weren’t answering, and we needed help at the cook out.

syd: the one where you poisoned everyone?

richie poo: Fuck off.

y/n: when i’m off work, i’m off work.

marcus: don’t let carmy hear that, y/n

y/n: don’t remind me

syd: he’s trying at least, go easy on him. he really has great ideas

richie poo: You mean you have great ideas in that little notebook

tina: Never trust a broad with a notebook.

syd: hey! i’m just being helpful

y/n: do you guys think my ig post will hurt carmys feelings

marcus: it would make me a little sad if i were him, but i don’t think he cares

y/n: great i’m gonna cry now

syd: i doubt he even saw it y/n it’s fine

richie poo: Check the work chat. Cousin is in a mood.

y/n: oh great

tina: Help us all.

syd: be nice you guys

WORK

[ 9:15 am ]

carmy: Everyone, we have huge catering orders tomorrow to prep for today. Please get here as soon as you can, the earlier you clock in the better. Additionally, please be careful what you post on social media. I don’t want people to get the wrong impression

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

syd: ok sounds good

richie poo: Cool it, Cousin. What’s the issue with the social media

tina: I use FaceBook. That not allowed now??

carmy: Tina, you’re fine. I’m talking about those who post work things on public accounts

marcus: facebook is crazy

richie poo: I can’t go private

y/n: he needs the likes

richie poo: No I’m disabled from doing so. Not sure why

y/n: liar

richie poo: 😑I don’t like you

carmy: Then please don’t post pics of yourself posting up with a gun and an air horn outside of my shop anymore.

marcus: that pic was fire can’t lie

carmy: Well, it’s bad for business.

richie poo: Fine, whatever

y/n: carmy

carmy: What, Y/n?

y/n: is this because of my caption on my post i’m sorry i promise i wasn’t being for real

carmy: I don’t care Y/n.

y/n: is that code for ‘i care a lot and i’m crying in the office right now and that’s why the door is closed’

oh

syd: ? why the oh

y/n: he opened the door and yelled no 🤨 but i think i saw red eyes

carmy: Please get back to work and I’ll comp a meal for you later

y/n: OMG yes chef 😍

richie poo: Inappropriate emojis and you shouldn’t have to incentivize her to work

y/n: shut up acting like HR i’m gonna beat your ass

jealousy is ugly which is why you have that mug on your face

carmy: Stop

y/n: yes chef 👨‍🍳

i heard your giggle tho

richie poo: Again with the schizo episode

syd: you can’t say that richie

richie poo: Oh sorry

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #the bear #the bear imagine #carmy berzatto imagine #x reader #carmen berzatto imagine #sydney adamu #sydney adamu x reader #richie jerimovich #richie jerimovich x reader #the bear reader insert #the bear text au #carmy berzatto text au #crack #fluff #social media au #text au

[sweetheart-satoru]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐀𝐏 / gojo satoru

when you wake up, something feels off. you sit up and rub your eyes, why do you feel wrong? you feel so wrong. you look at your hands and they're huge. fucking huge. you look at your chest and you have abs? the room you are in is wrong.

you pull off the covers and see yourself in grey sweats. you've been in this room, though. multiple times. you know exactly whose room it is. you run into the bathroom and stare at your reflection with pure horror.

gojo satoru.

you look exactly like him. it's terrible. but the real question is do I look like gojo or am I in gojo satoru's body?

this is fucking crazy

you try and remember where it went wrong from yesterday.

"ugh, you're so annoying." you roll your eyes, he smirks. "whatever, sweetheart. i'll see you tomorrow." you stick up the middle finger at him as you walk away. "kill yourself, asshole."

"i love you too, baby." he only hears you scoff and watches as you walk off to your car. you hate your job. you hate the fact he's in your friend group. everywhere you go, you see him. he's everywhere you are.

it's irritating.

once you get to your apartment, you take a shower. a nice, warm shower. and when you have finished, you make some food for yourself and watch something on your laptop.

gojo: hey sweetheart, u up?

you: no

gojo: come overrrr i miss you and im bored

you: no

gojo: :(

you just leave him on read before you fall asleep.

...

you continue to stare in pure horror. how does he look so pretty even when he just woke up? genetics, you answer yourself. i mean, have you seen his mom? god damn.

your shoulders slouch before you feel it. you need to piss. real bad. jaw dropped, you shift your attention from staring at the mirror in horror to staring at the toilet in horror.

'do you think i could hold it?' you ask yourself. you shake your head, 'it's only a dick, you can even sit down and pee, right?' you don't even know anymore.

we'll let that sort itself out, i guess.

...

notes:

this is so short i didn't wanna keep @readxeer00 waiting anymore, sorry 😭

i genuinely hate this, im gonna re-write it, I just need yall to know that I AM working on it

#gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jjk #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #satoru gojo #jjk gojo #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo imagine #gojo imagines

[compacflt]

you're a legend for referencing lauren berlant and michael warner in relation to your top gun fic and I'd like to think that they would say the same!! the stories that you've created are beautiful explorations of some of the biggest questions posed in queer theory: who are we in public? who are we in private? where is the line that separates the two (spoiler: there is no way to actually separate the two, no binary) and what are the structural forces bearing down upon all of that bullshit! I for one would love to see your questions about privacy and respectability explored with rooster and ice and mav. especially considering the generational cliff between them, with the aids crisis in the background of rooster's childhood when they were all the closest, in your world. anyway! you are an incredible writer and it's been a privilege to read you work :)

thank you so much for this ask!! yes i have spent so much time thinking about this. In March i started working on a new-yorker-style interview that tried to address a bunch of these questions. Since I didn’t do wip wednesday yesterday (sorry) here’s some relevant sections of that wip related to your ask. I don’t think it’s spoilers since I’m not sure id ever post this anywhere—you can see for yourself how entertaining the writing is and it’s overly political and didactic. Just a lame hegelian dialectic where im interrogating my own characters (at least, my own interpretations of them) on their politics. And I’m not an expert on any of this stuff (currently on the slow uphill climb out of the valley of the dunning-kruger graph—trying to learn). Nor am I fact-checking it & that feels irresponsible to post For Real. so just take this post as a fun (for me) exploration of what i (20y.o., ignorant, no editorial oversight, smooth-brained) think Might be some political implications of my fics, trying to write from a lib-moderate pov (tough!)

talking points I wanted to address:

The politics of ice’s career, both internationally & domestically (some wild navy scandals happened under his “tenure” [fat Leonard most pressingly—would LOVE to know how actual TGM’s ice & mav felt about that bc it was SO FUCKING CRAZY, navy officers & admirals having wild sex parties paid for by a singapore defense contractor (the details are so fucking crazy i can’t even say them here—one anecdote involves 7th fleet officers using WWII/Korean war general macarthurs historical memorabilia during sex acts—go read about it) a couple PACFLT RDMLs were charged with actual crimes, 60 admirals (of the navys total 160 admirals) were under investigation & both my and TGM’s ice & cyclone would probably have been two of them, basically if you were a pacflt officer in the mid-2000s-2010s you were under investigation it was so fucking wild]) —and another geopolitical look at the implications of both top gun movies (reagan weighs in from beyond the grave)

Ice and mav who can’t win—they want their relationship to Not Be A Big Deal. leave us alone. We’re Normal. we’re not Weird or anything. —but can’t understand WHY their relationship is so sensational/political—yes, boys, it is a big deal, sorry!! mavericks probably the last Ace the world will ever see & ice is the secretary of the navy and they’re married, fuck yes that’s newsworthy!!!

my version of Ice acceding to SECNAV at the intersection of a couple crucial contextual moments for the navy/military as a whole: 1. Recruitment is currently fucked. This interview takes place in 2020/early 2021, and things were bad then, but the numbers just came out for the Navy this year, and hoooooly shit they are so bad. And blame is falling along partisan lines like always: Ds blame low recruitment numbers on lack of benefits etc, Rs literally i am not shitting you are mostly blaming low recruitment numbers on the military going Woke. The USN has long been seen as the most obnoxiously woke/gay (derogatory) service to conservatives & there’s a lot of political baggage that comes with having a SECNAV who, while not openly identifying as gay, is openly married to another man. especially with a recruiting crisis like this one. 2. Withdrawal from afghanistan obviously. kind of a shit way for ice to end his career ngl. It Did Not Go Super Well. 3. rising tensions in eastern europe pre RU-UA invasion in 2022, what that means for the MIC and procurement, etc. 4. The joint chiefs openly declaring they (& by extension the military as a whole) would not support trump’s coup attempt post-J6—the end of that extremely politically polarized presidency—what does it mean for the following Dem president to then have a gay secnav after that? It’s HUGE. SO no matter what, Ice as SECNAV is going to go down in history. He just wants it to be for his actions, not the fact that he’s gay.

Icemav’s relationship with their identities. We really really don’t want to be known for being gay. “Ask me what my proudest achievement is, I’ll tell you without a second of hesitation—my family. Without a doubt. But does any military man really want to be best-known for his marriage?” We want to be known for being the BEST at our jobs, which we are. We’ve earned that title! There’s so much more interesting stuff about us than who we got married to.

AND how that is a liberal-moderate-conservative median-50% meritocratic WET DREAM of an ideology. an interview like this one is a straight fluff piece pre-ice’s confirmation to secnav—it lets him prove to the moderate liberals that he’s left-leaning enough to protect social justice interests in the USN, AND prove to conservatives that he’s right-leaning enough to not let identity politics/“woke bs” get in the way of the navy’s mission of providing a lethal maritime fighting force. the merits of this ideology are up for debate.

maybe helping the conservative viewpoint of that ideology: The fact that the Kazansky-Mitchell-Bradshaw-seresin family is so not-stereotypically gay. Like, look at these four guys. 9-to-11 combat kills between them (11 in my universe where ice gets an extra 2, 9 canon confirmed) in a period of history/modern warfare when ANY air-to-air kill is/was massively historically significant. Extremely macho & tough. They present themselves about as traditionally and toxically masculine as you could possibly get. Theyve KILLED PEOPLE. They’re not “soft” by any stretch of the imagination. Physically & emotionally they ARE extremely conservative, and there’s something to be said about the politics of that too—molding yourself into the shape of what you think a man should look like, just to avoid persecution, and then performing masculinity BETTER than even the men who would want to persecute you…!

Related to your ask: the modern/young ppl inclination to make sexuality SO political and public. When asked how he could reckon with joining a DADT-ruled navy, rooster answers: “hope I could do something to destroy it before it could destroy me.” When asked why he DIDNT use any of his considerable power to influence the repeal of DADT, ice answers: “it was better than the blanket ban that came before it. And maybe I’ve always wanted neither to tell nor to be asked.” the conservative respectable opinion that your intimate relationships ought to be PRIVATE, doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight—just do your job, and preferably do it well. yeah, don’t ask and don’t tell. It’s not anyone’s business. ice doesn’t have a philosophical problem with DADT, because he agrees sexuality should be private & secret. —is it anyone’s business? whose business is it? How much of your personal life do you owe the public if you’re a public-facing individual like the COMPACFLT or SECNAV? all good questions!!!!

#& unanswerable! #sooo fun to ignore the big ‘is the military bad’ questions in favor of the nitty gritty of policy #yes it’s bad. next! #poor ice and mav honestly. if it wasn’t such a big deal theydve been married in the 90s #its all external influencing the internal #impossible to not be products of their time #‘marshallian system’ as very niche military officer succession strategy #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #icemav #top gun #top gun maverick #edts notes #top gun fanfiction #sorry i probably won’t be posting as much for the next couple weeks. finals season and i am so deep in the trenches its actually not funny. #i think there’s a grammatical typo in excerpt 2. their* #and in excerpt 1 too. not really proofreading these. shrug.

[caralara]

"and also I have a lot of complicated and sad feelings about harry I need to process!" Can you expand on this? (If it's not personal of course)

oooooof anon I don’t even know where to start

Maybe with the fact I’m severely sleep deprived after the week of wembley? And that I will probably change my mind tomorrow after a good nights sleep again? Or that I’m super sad and a little embarrassed about having these feelings and thoughts in the first place?

At almost every harry show I’ve had an existential crisis at some point during the concert, of “what am I doing here? Why am I like this? Why do I spend so much money and time and energy and attention on this? Why don’t I have more of a ‘real life’? Why am I such a loser? Why do I feel like I missed my chances and became a little-below-average-adult instead of the special unique star my mum always said I would be? Why do I know all these thoughts are there bc I’m depressed and a little too self aware and hanging on by a thread, it feels like, desperately trying to find the next thing to look forward to in order to not notice how little I feel overall anymore and how little I care at all about keeping on living?” (Wow that got depressing sorry)

But this does kind of take me out of the experience for a second. And then when I see harry. i see him and his face up close. And I’ve always prided myself on the fact I’m extremely good at reading people, (let’s forget for a second I could always be wrong obv for the sake of this explanation), and what I see when I look at harry is a completely crafted stage persona (fair enough) but like - it didn’t always feel like this last year? Idk, maybe it’s the combination of this being a stadium tour, all the drama that has happened since last tour, then the having to camp for days to be able to see him close-ish, being surrounded by the absolute nastiest bullies with TPWK tattoos you can imagine (literally half of them are bullies I’m not joking), the entire feather boa cowboy hats “fuck me fuck me fuck me” thing solo harries have going on, harry doing gender reveals with such glee (???? Like shouldn’t we like stop doing that? I get you love babies harry but, shouldn’t especially harry know gender conformity reinforcement isn’t like, it?), reacting to all these yuck and nasty signs, re-encouraging the environment-catastrophes that are feather boas and single use cowboy hats ?? So I see him several times performing and he’s got all these amazing songs that mean so so so much to me and I see him going through the motions (fair enough) and not really feel most of the songs, and all of that just makes it look so - inauthentic? Idk. It’s stupid but it makes me feel like he’s a sellout, and that’s just not fair for me to say or think, and I know that, but I can’t help it. And then today he hangs with Shelli Azoff who’s been to court bc she’s abusing her sevice staff??? And it does make me wonder am I just deluding myself? How much is true and how much isn’t of what we make him out to be? Genuinely, him bathing in and demanding for more of the literal worship of his actual person gave me the Ick so bad yesterday. And then again he sings sweet creature and kisses his cross necklace right after. And then again It’s probably (as it always has) much more to do with my ego than anything else, and being upset he didn’t even acknowledge me for a second while literally standing in front of him with my big ass birthday sign. So just me being a sad little kid who’s feelings got hurt bc I didn’t get the attention for my birthday from the boy I like the way I had way too high expectations of.

All these thoughts are jumbled, and I’m crying and I’m tired but you asked so you shall receive.

Im just tired of having to mentally defend harry when he’s clearly wanting it exactly the way it is - saying he’s never been happier over and over on stage. So. Do with that what you will.

#anon #harry

[orangelemonsstuff]

Twst incorrect qoutes that pops in my head with no context pt.3

pt.1 pt.2

---

Ortho: Idia, our wifi is back on no--

Idia: fuck, the dinosaur stepped on a stupid cactus again

---

Yuu: i put myself in danger for fUUUNNNN

---

Trein: i did not have a liberal art degree for this

---

Ace: ahaha i ate your tuna

Grim: w-why would you do that tho?

Ace: cuz i wanna make you cry

Deuce: i think Grim is concerned on your health

---

Jamil: one time i told Kalim a crow ate his hamster and now he isn't fond of the headmaster.

Jamil: ...

Jamil: he thinks the headmaster ate his hamster back from when we were children

---

Crowley: *spins on his office chair*

---

Sebek: *screams into oblivion inside of his room*

the whole Diasomnia: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? WAS THAT A WHOLE SHIPMENT TRADING SHIP??

---

Yuu: so don't you dare look back

Ace: keep your eyes on me~

Deuce: toss your dirty shoes into my washing machin- oh thats not the song? alright

---

Sam: i ate way too much papaya now im feeling like a banana

---

Crowley: what weakness do you have that also you call your strength, the one that we can exploit

Crewel & Yuu: what?

---

Crewel: OKAY LISTEN UP YOU MORONS, WE ARE NOT HAVING A LECTURE TODAY BUT INSTEAD WE ARE GOING TO COLOR SELF DEGRADATORY COLORING BOOKS TO SELF REFLECT OF YOUR STUPID ACTIONS AND DECISIONS

---

Crowley: another one of my crows died today :(

Crewel: get a new one

---

Malleus: okay hold on I'm going to call--

Leona: what? your friends? you're going to call your friends? do you even have friends? *wheezes*

---

Idia: i did not kidnap Malleus because he isnt overblotted yet Ortho, and it's not because i am scared of him

Idia at the bathroom pretending he's in a reality show backstage interview: i lied, i am scared of Malleus.

---

Deuce: You're kinda...

Deuce: oven-baked?

Yuu: what

Ace: *slapping his head while the other hand put down a cardboard that says "tell them they're hot"*

---

Yuu: thats weird...

Grim: what weird?

Yuu: there hasn't been life threatening situation for last 2 weeks it's kind of unsual

---

Ace: I DID NOT EAT PAPER TOWELS BACK IN KINDERGARTEN

---

Azul: hey guys~ try this new sauce for 100 madols

Floyd: whats in them?

Azul: malice and bad intentions

---

Riddle: i called pest control at Ace yesterday

---

Ruggie: Think before you act

Rook: Act fast think later

Cater: Duality is a thing, so act now and think what and why the hell are you doing this with your life

---

Ruggie: Ooh, a dandelion must be the last ones this season *chokes on dandelion*

---

Floyd: God thats so sad *starts to beatbox*

---

Kalim: i am the greatest sunshine of the history, also the dense one who gets hated by everyone and gets betrayed by the people i lo--

Yuu: alright, that's enough self introduction for Monopoly

---

Crowley: before you go, do you have any--

Yuu: *goes into the mirror portal without hesitation not letting Crowley to finish*

---

a/n: Deuce listens to Mitski (very real) and yes there's a camp camp reference. and the reason why its short is because i actually have no clue what im doing

#twisted wonderland #twst scenarios #twst #twst shitpost #incorrect twst #no context

[emptifylie]

i have no one to talk to about real shit so im posting it on tumblr. i have so many fucking friends and people around me who tell me that i could tell them anything, but i know if anyone knew the truth they wouldn't be able to look at me the same anymore. i binged yesterday, ate about 500 calories. i ate today too. i dont know whats wrong with me. i gained weight again, 124lbs. god i make myself fucking sick. today all i could think about was death. im not sad, im numb, and when im not numb its rage or deep depression that im feeling. i fell asleep in the locker room of my gym today. i finished my workout and i sat down for a minute and i woke up to a phone call from my mom asking me where i was. i slept for less than 5 minutes but it just, god, it felt like i died or something. i noticed the scar my ex gave me on my arm and it got me to finally remembering what actually happened and its fucking terrifying how i could still want him back so fucking badly. im sick. its not love that i still have for him, its just this fucking heart sinking feeling i have when i think about him, hangout with him, see him, i just want him to tell me he loves me again. he ruined my life and i want him back. he got me fucking addicted to drugs, fuck the scars, he literally RUINED my life. im a drug addict now, because of HIM. im so pathetic for still caring so much about him. im just pathetic period. tomorrow im skipping my first 3 classes to go to the gym. i cant be seen with all this extra fat on me. i might just skip school all together. fuck, i told myself i was going to start caring about my life again. im just so tired. nothing feels the same anymore. i cant bring myself to feel excitement or happiness about anything anymore. even when i lose weight i still find a way to turn it into something else to be upset over. the biggest problem though, out of everything, is that i actually think that my only option is to die. because where the fuck am i going with my life???????? im a drug addict who doesnt eat most days out of the week/all days out of the week. ive been depressed for the majority of my life. i still want my ex and its been almost a year and i still haven't gotten over him, fuck i still hangout with him like everyday after EVERYTHING he's done to me. i am complacent with living like this. im complacent to my messy room that smells like weed, vomit, cigs and rotting food 24/7. im complacent to failing school, i dont even try anymore to do better. i still binge even though i know it'll undo a weeks worth of fasting that was absolute torture to go through and made me a nuisance to everyone. im just okay with living like this. thats what makes it so hard to want to be alive. i feel like im living in a movie where the ending is me giving up on ever getting better and dying. i knew when i was little that i was gonna do drugs. i remember that very clearly, stealing vodka at age 7 just to be like my teenage brother and his friends who just seemed so cool to me. i knew when i was little that i was going to make myself skinny one day. i remember once on opposite day in 1st grade my mom got me an outfit to wear and i told her i looked too fat to wear it and went to school in normal clothes. why have i always hated myself this much? why does it feel like my whole life is leading up to my inevitable destruction? i wish i was more like the "depressed" girls on tiktok lol. i saw this girl who made a post with the "i miss the rage" audio talking about getting high every weekend. like god, FUCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. imagine thinking getting high every WEEKEND is so bad that you have to make a post about it. not actually mad at her tho its still bad, its no competition, im just talking about how it made me feel. it just makes my problems feel so much fucking worse. i did the math and i have been just cali sober a total of 12 days this year. 354 days out of the year i have been on drugs. my problems arent normal for that of my age.

like i saw this other post too, that dumbass audio from skins, "i didnt eat for 3 days so i could feel lovely" again, its not a competition but ive gone weeks without eating and ive never met someone who can relate to that. obviously i know there are people out there with worse problems than that but im just fucking saying that it makes me feel like a fucking freak. like if those are the worst problems out there that are worth being talked about, how bad am i??? i feel like i reached the limit years ago, the limit of how fucked up you could be without being weird and now that ive gone past it i just feel like a lost cause. i havent felt like a person in years.

i want to be a human being again. i want to be a normal teenage girl.

#ana trigger #eating diary #only pro for tags #disorderd eating #tw ed diet #ed vent #meanspø #4norexi4 #tw ed sheeran #pro a4a #n0t pr0 #not pr0 4na #not pr0 just for myself #pr0 ana diary #pr04ana #pro for me not for thee #pro 4na #4n0rexic #4n4m1a #4n4rexia #4n4t1ps #4na fast #4na thoughts #4na vent #4namia #4narex1a #4norexla #ed diet #disorder eating #disordered eating mention

[cannot-copia]

So how was it?!?!?!

Ok this ended up being an entire book and I don’t think that’s quite what you were asking for sorry lmao

I FUCKED IT UP BUT IT WAS WILD TO BE PERCEIVED BY FUKIN PAPA EMERITUS IV

LIKE,,,,HE TALKED TO ME?????????? ME????????????????

but I had a plan and everything I was gonna ask which his fav outfit was and if we could wobble ass for the pose but I walked in there and he was like

Hi

and I was just like hi 👋

Then he just,,,,stared at me for a few seconds just like staring into my SOUL

then he looks back at the curtain where it opens

Then back at me then back at the curtain just looking at me like I was supposed to do something and I was like ???????? what is he doing???????

Then he points at the curtain and looks at it then me again and waits a second like I was supposed explain something but IDIOT me still didn’t get it

Then finally he goes like “was that your sister?”

And I was internally like OH FUCK IM STUPID bc I AM A TWIN and my sister went before me and we dressed the same HOPING FOR THAT EXACT REACTION

And he spoke SO SOFTLY I almost didn’t think I actually heard him for a second

So then I was like yes it was we are twins and told him how everybody always would try to argue with us and tell us we were identical even tho we aren’t and he was just LOOKING AT ME like this mf DOES NOT BREAK EYE CONTACT

Then he like gestured at his face and said something like well you look it/you look the same

Then didn’t say anything else for a second then the camera guy was like picture time and he went back behind the glass and I got scared and couldn’t make myself ask for a pose and I was panicking and just tried to copy him but I KNOW I fucked that up too

Then he was like well thank u for coming have fun etc and that was it

I ended up actually feeling much calmer than I thought I would in there but like my fukin mouth was like s twitching so bad the whole time and I have no idea why bc that’s never happened before in my LIFE bro probably thought I was like having a stroke or smth

And as soon as we started going back I was shaking SO BAD

As for the show it was FUKIN FANTASTIC of course but I gotta say the people around were kinda lame

The vibes were IMMACULATE yesterday at the barrier (after the crowd surfing/fight/getting smashed into the barrier incidents) it was SO MUCH more like I don’t wanna say fun bc it was fun both places but I can’t think of a better word??? On the floor I can now understand why people wait so long to get there and I really want to do it again

But now it’s about to be real Post Ritual Depression hours fr I can’t believe it’s over

Also while I didn’t get a hug from the real papa (which I would NOT have survived) but I did get a picture and a hug from a pretty good papa ii cosplayer and damb idek who the fuck that guy was but the feeling of a hug and he had the robes and stuff it was so 😩 I have not received a hug from anyone in like years and I’m not even lying I almost cried

And if you’re the anon that was asking about the covid tests they didn’t do it

#corpus spam #asks #if I think about it being over I will cry

[heathersbedroom]

GIRLLLLLLLLL OMG OMG OMG

SOOOO A LITTLE NSFW SUCCESS STORY?

WELL I'M GONNA CALM DOWN FIRST OMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMGOMG

Basically my boyfriend and I have been trying to well lose our v cards but like we couldn't because family.. So yesterday I was like with a "I'M GONNA DO IT" type of mentality and did this kind of lullaby method thingy where I just kept affirming that after I felt sleep, "his (my bf name) parents went to a trip from this tuesday to the next" and that my family didn't care if I went to his house the full week.. and also having like safe s*x and it being good for both blablabla (and this is kinda embarrassing) BUT I'M GONNA SAY IT. I was (t/w) menstruating and I DIDNT WANT TO RUIN IT SOOO I MANIFESTED MY PERIOD AWAY AND GOD I LOVE IT. LIKE IT WAS THE you know heavy flow day, so I had bad cramps and overall wasn't being in any mood, and he knew so it wasn't like we were going to do it anyways, like he went to my house to cuddle bc I was like really sad and well period things💖 I LVOE HIM GUYS PLS HELP

Guess WHAT? IT FUCKING WORKED. HE WAS LIKE SPAMMING ME ALL MORNING LIKE "BABE GUESS WHAT?" AND OH FUCK I WAS SO EXCITED SOOO HE'S SLEEPING NEXT TO ME AND I'M LIKE SQUIRMING SO BADLY BC OML THIS IS ALL THAT I WANTED

He was so sweet and it was so good and omg I think I cried before after and sjnfiwie I won't get graphic nor anything like that but omg GIRLS BOYS PEOPLE IT WORKS, AND IT WORKS WONDERS. LIKE HE OWMEKkkw I WON'T SAY BUT WE CUDDLED SO MUCH LIKE IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL honestly my fave part of being with my bf is that he's like bigger than me so he coverS ME WJJFJWJE AND WEKL BASICALLY HES A CUDDLE MONSTER LIKE SLEEPING (SLEEP NAP NAP) IS SO EASY AND LIKE I SLEEP SO WELL) I'm not even short but like I could be 😌🤔 But he's like really tall, SHORT STORYTIME BUT WHEN WE STARTED DATING LIKE YEARS AGO (YESYes I know that's why we are so horny now ALQINFKWKW) LIKE WE WERE CHILDREN AND WHY AM I ALL CAPS SCREAMING? I was like taller than him by a lot INWJRKW and he grew up so much like I DIDN'T AND HE DID. I LIKE STAYED 5'9 I THINK I DON'T KNOW I ALSO THINK I GREW UP LIKE MY DAD IS REALLY TALL SO IM REALLY TALL TOO? AND HE'S (my BF) LIKE TOO TALL IDK EXACTLY HOW MUCH BUT A BIT SHORTER THAN MY DAD AND HES LIKE 6'7? like BITCH WHERE? YOU WERE LIKE 5'5 YESTERDAY GIVE ME BACK MY SHORT KING wELL THAT WAS ALL TO SAY HE'S GOOD AT CUDDLING I LOVE CUDDLE I WOULD CUDDLE YALL IF I COULD

I love him so much also like I want to give him the world and he's the best I love him I love y'all I love the world I love you and yes I am so happy

honestly guys it wasn't that haaaard, it's just you know that graphic of success? where like the first steps are so easy but then it gets harder until you succeed and everything's easy? ITS JUST LIKE THAT. BELIEVE ME. LIKE IT FELT LIKE IMPOSSIBLE UNTIL I THOUGHT "WELL WHAT THE FUCK A (MY NAME WKNFEK) JUST DO IT AND SHUT UP" AND YES. IT WORKED. AND IT'S REAL.

I did that because it was something that I imagined happening, something that both of us wanted from a long time ago and I though we had like little encounters.. we really needed time alone 🌠

Idk, I didn't ask for anything else but I feel so happy with everything like I didn't ask forrrrr self esteem or smth like that but I feel so beautiful and loved and idk MAYBE it's bc CERTAIN someone kept telling me this and that and omg

And that's all omg I love y'all honestly without you guys I would be so like sad I love y'all keep going

ALSO I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THIS IS THE SIGNAL YOU NEED, YOU ARE LIMITLESS I LOVE AND I BELIEVE IN YOU

UGGGGHHHHH I LOVE THIS GURL CONGRATS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU^^

[ventcode]

I just wanna kinda,, ramble, I guess, so many thoughts on my mind, and I never really ramble on purpose (it's mostly an accidental thing..) so.

my shoulder still hurts kinda. it all hurts alot, actually. i don't know why. no matter what i do. ive stopped bringing it up over and over again though. nobody seems to quite listen. some streches, but the pain only subsides for a little bit.

im hungry, but i ate food all day yesterday. seems no matter how much i eat lately, ill still be hungry, and if i dont eat im starving, it makes my stomach feel horrible, the six and kyoko brain mix surely isn't helping.

im listening to my theme, six's theme part II, it's been calming me down, ive been humming along, im just making sure i dont have another panic attack, it surely does help, afterall its calmed me down before, as six. im not surprised it still helps now.

i keep having to change my shirt, it gets uncomfortable too much, its quite annoying, i put on deodorant too but it seems to wear off and it becomes uncomfortable again, maybe i just need to shower tomorrow (today? i don't count it as the next day until i wake up that morning.), that must be the case, im just not clean.

speaking of, its annoying but i seem to always need reminders to do stuff, or i dont take care of myself and do my own thing, with the food thing its gotten better since im always really hungry lately, so the first thing i try to do when i have time is eat food. but with the other stuff of taking care of myself, i seem to neglect it. showering. cleaning my room (i havent done that in MONTHS). drinking water. brushing my teeth. laundry stuff. i always need reminders. but i cant get reminders from my parents. "you're 14, you need to remember this stuff", and if I set a reminder on my phone, I always swipe away the notification and forget about it without fail. it's annoying. i hate that.

I miss my fort from last year, my matress on the ground next to the window, my tv there, just. ofc it neglected the rest of my room but. i miss my own little space there. it was from a calmer time. it had problems like bugs (i found a cockroach crawling on the tv once at night), but otherwise, everything else was okay, i miss just. i miss that, i guess. maybe I should use that tv again, it still works, just not my PS4, the Wii U works though, so, maybe I'll try that.

I think about holding your hand alot, anywhere, I don't really care where it is, but lately I just. have the feeling it'd be nice to just hold your hand, like you're there with me, I've just been holding onto that pillows sleeve more and more, like im holding onto your hand, it keeps the comfort, it helps just a little, I wish it was real, I want to hold your hand. When we meet, I don't think I'll let go of it. ^^"

My dreams have all been,, upsetting as of late, probably because of my anxieties before I go to bed. it sucks, it gets me in a bad mood in the morning, but I'm trying not to lose my hope for atleast a better dream, if dreams reflect subconscious, then I just have to think good things before bed right? I surely try but, I don't know why they all end up bad, I have alot of bad days, but, during the evening, it gets a bit better, and then bad again, I don't know what's really been happening. A horrible nightmare, they're stressing me, but I need to stop thinking too hard on them, if I do, then nothing good is bound to happen.

I think of those bad opinions on me, I'm really no monster, I'm a traumatized 9 year old, a kid, a child, I'm little. I'm surviving in a world that's trying to kill me. I really just wanted to survive, that's all I wanted. sure I ate a nome and I ate the ladys fucking neck and probably did something else Im unaware of in source atm and didn't save those kids in the maw, but, I really am no monster. I swear and promise. I didn't want to be the "hero who saved the kids", I wanted out, to survive, cause I'm a fucking child. I wish everyone knew that. but who'd believe me, if anything, everyone else would think im crazy, that I'm not really six, that im most likely just delusional, and that upsets me. so I can't be honest. that's such a stupid reason but, yk, the anxieties. (fun not so fun fact! during those hunger pangs when i was playing the game and watching you play as well, my stomach felt like SHIT dude. </3)

Speaking of, depending on the ID, I hate referring to myself in 3rd person (unless im speaking in 3p at the time), it just bothers me and I feel separated from myself, and it hurts. with some its fine and others its not. and sometimes I fuck up, so I'll accidentally refer to myself in 1st person with an irl friend and they'll look confused, I mostly just go oops and correct myself but, god does it really hurt, alot. But I don't wanna be honest abt that since it's easier to just refer in 3rd. even I just do it out of habit, but it just gives me a bad feeling, like I'm not me, and the others aren't. the others. I don't know. maybe I just have issues and shit.

idk why but talking about that just reminded me of that time I met a double and got them banned from using tumblr. bro is that mad !!! but srsly I got like so mad in the dream and spam reported them and Tumblr was on my side and banned the account and ANY NEW ACCOUNTS THEY MADE. bro dream me is winning everyday (/lie im having frequent nightmares!! /silly)

it's hard to talk but also extremely easy to talk, the words come out but I don't want them to, like I don't really want to talk to anyone, of course I make my exceptions, if nobody could tell /silly but, idk, it feels meaningless to talk, I'd rather just. do stuff. not talk unless needed, but, when most your friends are online, you kind of need to talk most of the time, or nobody understands what you're saying, even on voice calls, not like I wanna have my camera on at all times (depending on the person), so, it's still useless, I don't exactly know what to do about this, I feel myself talking more and more even though I wanna talk less and less. oops I guess.

me and toaster talked, we're still friends, but we wont contact for awhile, or atleast not every day, i apologized, and so did he, i really do feel bad for acting like an asshole. but everything's okay now, and it'll all be okay.

seems im getting teary eyed writing,, all this, there's so much I'm saying, yet I say I wanna talk less, that's funny, isn't it? I've written so many thoughts down that it's been like 40 minutes at this point, that's funny, how much is really on my mind.

enjoy my thoughts and rambles, I know atleast one person will read this, waving!! sorry I ruined my sleep schedule again, I'll do better.. :')

Goodnight. ♡

[cottage-core-cunt]

i remember when i was thirteen, and my mental illness was almost at it's peak, and i would just scroll tumblr for *hours*. all i did was watch youtube and scroll tumblr and the worst thing i did was stay up way too late, and maybe sleep in one of my classes. and i compare that to my younger sibling. theyre smoking pot at thirteen. they this is the normal and healthy thing to do to treat mental illness, because that's what my dad spouts constantly. and yes, i pro-legalizing and decriminalizing weed, but i also am pro-people-being-informed. i am pro-kids-being-kids. i get why theyre doing this; i just wish they would stop.

and my parents finally found out yesterday. i told them, because my younger sibling told me they were hanging out with a kid i graduated with. i couldn't take the worry anymore. i'm at college an hour away, someone had to do something. and i pray to whatever may be out there that they respond reasonably, that my dad gets his fucking head out of his ass and realizes his kid needs real help. they think they need weed to live. they said it helps them eat, sleep, and think. they're thirteen!! they should be riding their bike and listening to bad music and being cringey! the scariest thing they should be doing right now is falling down a little too hard!

they're very mad at me for telling. and im mad at myself, even thought i know it was the right thing. they are better off because of this. i just hope one day they realize i was trying to save them from themself. i hope they realize i was just trying to protect them from the trauma they were so close to getting into. i just want to hug them and make all the hurt that led them to this go away. they deserve so, so, so much better than this. they deserve a chance to thrive. if just one adult in my family cared about their wellbeing, they would have seen this coming from miles away. they have quit every extracurricular, theyre failing all their classes, theyre sleeping all day at school and at home. their wasting their life away and genuinely believe they have no chances. but they are so, so talented. they are smart and funny and kind and not to mention so creative. they are an excellent dancer, wonderful artist, amazing writer, and yet they believe they have nothing going for them. i love them so much and hope they get therapy and realize how wonderful they are, just like the rest of us have.

#bo rambles #im just feeling very sad rn #tw addiction #tw marijuana

[iamafuckinpieceofshitihatemyself]

there is something wrong with me i cant do anything right i cant feel anything right i am a failure everything i do comes out wrong i am tired i am so tired of feeling like this its like theres a stormr in my mind and it goes down on my chest and it hurts so much i hurt people i love its like i dont even know how to be a normal human being talking to other people is a burden existing is a burden i feel everythign and nothing at the same time i cant tell reality anymore i cant trust my thoughts everything i think i dont know if i can trust and the worst part is i know why i am the way i am and i cant fix it nothing i do makes me feel any better everything comes out wrong no matter how hard i try and i am so tired i just want to not feel like my existence is a burden to me and to everyone around me i am tired i dont want to feel like this i dont want to feel like im insane because thats how i feel i feel insane i feel like i am going mad and i need to be put into a hospice because i cant control what i do what i say its like someone takes over me and i am so jealous i cant even hold the thought that someone might like me i cant believe it i feel like theyre constantly trying to cheat on me or doing something behind my back and i do things to them i hrut them by saying mean things and then i feel so alone because everyone is so tired of hearing me talk about the same things talking about them talking insane things i am insane people think i am insane i feel alone i am lonely i am too much and i am nothing

yesterday i freaked out because i watched him take a shot with a girl who he flirted with and i freaked out i was drunk and i was high and i watched it and the way he said it the way he was looking at her it was flirting and something snapped in my head and all i could say to you waas that you are disgusting and i kept repeating how disgusting you are and you got so mad and then we left and you yelled at me in the middle of the street at 6am about what a hypocrite i am because i was talking to my ex you yelled at me so much and all i wanted to do was take back and try to explai n wht happened and you were also high and drunk but you were so violent i got scared you were gonna hurt me so i walked away but the things you said made me feel like i am the worst person in the world the things i do its like i project on you everything that i do you made it feel like i am the disgusting one and i dont know what to think and what to feel and nothing felt real and all i wanted to do was disappear stop exissting because i am so fucking scared of losing you but its like i cant realize the things i do its like everything i do is wrong and i cant do this i cant do relationships i am to much of a narcisist i need everything to be about me i need you to think of me look at me touch me all the time and if youre giving attention to someone else its like my whole world is falling apart and i get so angry and i keep the anger inside me and i talk shit about you to other people and everyone thinks youre such a bad boyfriend because i keep this anger inside me and then i explode and i say mean things and you make m e realize that i am worng and i feel bad but then tehres no coming back, the damage is done, you still slept at my place because you were way too drunk to walk home and the next day was so awkward because i was still and i am still feeling like shit i feel like i fucked everythig up and you were being so nice to me and doing all the right things and i had to go and fuck it up because its just unfathomable to me that you could be nice to me that you were doing nice things because you likeme it must be because youre fucking someone else or talking to someone else and i just cant trust you or anyoen i cant trust anyone not even myself and i feel so insane and i know you think im insane too and i dont understand why you havent broken up with me yet after yesterday i thought it was it and i still think you might come to senses to what a complete piece of shit insane bizarre manipulative crazy bitch i am and just go away but you were still trying i could tell you were stil hurt and mad but you were trying so hard to still be at least a little bit nice to me because you said you want to help me to be better but i dont know if im capable of i dont know if i can ever be better i dont deserve you i dont deserve anyone i deserve to die alone and to suffer and feel this awful feeling in my chest and in my head every day for the rest of my life i deserve to be treated like shit to be yelled at i deserve bad things i deserve to die i should die i should just end things but im not even capable of that im too much of a coward to even rid the world of my awful existence but let it be known that i am aware that it would be better for me and for everyone around me if i just died or disappeared or was just never born at all i am a piece of shit disgusting whore and i hate myself and i wish you wouldve done it yesterday i wish you wouldve hit me i know you would never but i wish you would hit me and hit me and hit me until i pass out wish you would kick me and spit on me because thats what i dserve for all the things ive done to you and to all the other people in my life that ive hurt with my existence i wish you wouldve killed me deep down i wanted you to grab me by the throat and squeeze the life out of me but you could and would never youre a good person and for that i cant forgive myself i should leave you and let you be happy with someone else but i cant live without you my life revolvesaround you and for that i am insane

[strawberryezpls]

why will i always feel like this?

I literally hate everything and I understand why i wanted to kill myself so bad whenever i did (back in may lol) ummmmmmmmm this time around of the year is lwokey a little bit triggering because i was just depressed as fuck! and why is my mom making me give my father money for my own good(like a charity) when i don't see or even heard of them doing that to my grandparents like ever? and it doesn't look like it ever did them any good. I graudte from community college this year and i can finally go live in he dorms WHICH IS A ECCESITy cuz if im not living in the dorms im still not living at home. It actally crazy how i have zero support from my family at all. Like they all tell me to study hard and get good grades and blah blah but it's like once I try "oh why aren't you helping around the house" and its not a good feeling. Omg and I think i have autism like for real, or something cuz i have all the traits and i would just be a high level of mask. or am i just overlooked and im not realling masking i'm just brushed off as that's just me. imagine it really is just me. I also don't feel like living for anythign rightnow. I did see nicki minaj yesterday which was ENLIGHTENING she was like 2 hours late but idc and i somehow didn't get caught hehehehhe. um i have to get my wisdom tooth out in like 3 weeks and my finals are almost over. Omg that bullshit about me waiting for the right guy bitch I went right back to the guy i left for the clairty of my mind. and then we've been together ever since. But here's the thing he said hes observing now bc of the way we handle arguments. Like shouldn't you know what you want and how you want it. idk sometimes i feel like im being used and i don't understand how why he even wants me around i feel like i don't do anything for him at least emotionsally or mentally or like what i'm supposed to be. Which like i was fine with being in a sort of situationship with him since january but i think since we wenton our first one on one date a little after valentines that we would be together together but i guess not. And i don't really want to be with a amn now that's like im observing bc of the way we agrue which is like whatever. also wtf is knock knock ginger? sorry i'm listening to a podcast. omgi think being in ramadan which i s gonna sound sad and probably wrong for a moment but bare with me. like everytime Ramadan comes around i just don't feel good bc i feel like i was taught islam wrong like i just don't believe everything or anything someone from my country is saying abt it spefically my dad. like it just gets me so angy bc i could've been those girls who love their religion and I wanna do that but I want there to be people who als understand me and shit. I really love how im college educated but you would think 9 year odl wrote this pls. speaking of idk how imma do it living with a random person like i don't evn like living with someone else, like i love my bed yall. i also need a car with a door handle and the bumper not falling apart. I also wanna be boy free for a while bc it's just something abt it yk. I also don't trust anything anyone is saying and everything everyone says no matter who it is is annoying as fuck and they need to stop talking and im talking abt people who i don't even know too. Like why is everyone annoying all of a sudden b4 i didn't feel like that. wait it priobanyl bc i have to fucking be sober for the next month. saye but at least i get to turn up on my birthday I think. idk i'm scaed to smoke too early ater my surgery. which speaking of i NEED to do something fun and i need tolook good on my birthday like fr. Like i would want to do something even by myself just because i deserve it but my parents be pocket watching me like its not my money. anyways i really wanna get my lashes and nails done really bad. I think I'll just buy a wig and wear it that day and then i could get my own outfit yk. I literally cannot wait broooooo I don't know where imma be eating and whos ocming and whos not yk but yeaaaaaaa. I got too many people who would overlap and i don't want to

[aanglican]

natla s1e1 reaction liveblog ^.^

“in partnership with nickelodeon”

THE COMET

CAPITAL CITY

the earthbender from the trailer yassss come on prequel

GET THEIR ASSSSSSS

they didnt know he was an earthbender huhhh

THEYRE GOING TO START A WARRRR

PLEASEEEEEE

sozin BITCH

“we arent the real target” OH

not the fire sages watching sozin burn a man alive

THE INYRRTOOOOOOOOOO

why the fuck is it kyoshi narrating -_-

KURUKKKKK CAMEOOO

that random ass “aang” in the intro

aang is flying…. your ass will never be guru laghima!!!

“there may come a day when you wish you spent more time with your teachers” 😩

SKY BISONNNN + “all of them”

this female airbender is so pretty

the last comet festival before 0 AG was a hundred years ago

“i don’t want the power” “which is why you’ll be a great avatar” “cant you just pretend im still your friend?” “you’ll always be my friend” 😮‍💨😮‍💨🥹🥹🥹

gordon cormier THESPIAN

the fooking comet……..

APPA ENTRANCE

“monks dont even trust me to feed the baby bison and im supposed to save the world??”

i understand why people said there’s a lot of exposition in this pilot now

these fuckass fire nation bitches GO AWAY

“brothers and sisters we’re under attack”

okayyyy choreo

these firebenders dont feel like they’re superpowered at all aside from when they’re blasting at the buildings hmmm

poor babies :(

they burned my girl alive in her own tornado

OH SHIT GYATSO PULL UP

not sozin doing an amon walk

CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY

the southern water tribe YASSSSS

not katara being in the old fire nation ship

WOLF COVE

i’ll never understand why fc yee chose wolf cove as the name for the village. wolf what? this place is weird.

“if dad were here—” “but hes not here. i am!” 🫥

zuko here (and he is polluting the skies and seas)

zuko drawing fanart

why do statues and statuettes with the image of the avatars all glow when aang awakens? that was never explained in the cartoons and it only happened once (?)

LMAO whose uncle is this

this michael goi ahs: murder house ass camera angle lol

aang thinking the southerners know what a sky bison looks like aw :( cus 100 years ago was just yesterday for him

this whale bone architecture slayssss but why is this longhouse so huge

not gran gran stealing katara’s lines 😮‍💨

“ass” word dropped!!! okayy TV-14!!!

this big ass ship omg no wonder the fire nation was polluting all the damn lands. they needed that metal.

poor babies holding rocks trying to fight off the firebenders :(((

girl i am not rocking with this dialogue just yet hold on….

“lord of uh snow and ice” okay i take it back

AAAAANGGGG

“it can’t be” u thought u were gonna get an old ass man to beat huh

CMON SWT RESISTANCE

iroh and aang scene ouuuu

“the drive to conquer … is peace and unity” ouuuu iroh telling on his old self or what?

zuko flop

not katara realizing she can do shit with water lmao that quick tho???

“flameheads” new slur for firebenders dropped

they fucked up yangchen’s shrine real bad ouuu

gyatso reaction INCOMINGGGG

avatar state babeyyyyyyy

KATARA THESPIAN

aang let go baby this isnt you ;(

zuko chill bro

#natla lb #mytext

[piecesofmicorazon]

god, why is it that everytime im here i have too much to say. i've been avoiding this as usual, even though i'm supposed to be on this self help journey. i'm supposed to be investing in myself, i'm supposed to be finding myself again.

but what does that even mean honestly?

here's what's been going on since me and bj broke up, twice. i feel like the first breakup was real but we fell back into it. we went to her soccer holiday party and then she spent the night. i love spending time with bj, i love how i can show this side of myself that i have never revealed to even myself. she has become the safest space for me. so yeah, it does break my heart that i'm not attracted to her anymore.

i want to force it, i wish i grew up different, i wish all the circumstances were different. something my therapist was saying that we are conditioned to see things a certain way sometimes. that real love is only between a boy and girl, that it's important what people think of us, you know. all of that.

i wonder if this world was different and same-sex relationships were a normal thing... would i think this way?

but unfortunately, it's not. this is how the world works and that's not how i was conditioned.

it just makes me wonder so many things.. have i been brainwashed this whole time? does any of this actually matter?

anyways, the second break up was really hard. bj didnt talk to me for a few days, i was just blowing up her phone on my own honestly lol. but finally! she came over to drop off my jacket, and it felt like everything was okay again. but i dont want her to get false hope, i dont want to keep having sleepovers that will not lead us getting back together, i dont want to keep breaking her heart. but i cant let her go, it's the most selfish thing i've ever done but i will never let her go.

in the meantime, i'm working at the coffee shop and i met a boy. like wtf right? and we all know how i get when i meet someone new. i already start to have expectations..

anyways we were supposed to hang out, and thank god we didn't because thank god i had my implant appointment. but then he came to my party on saturday and fuck he's cute and even more fuck he smelled so good, and i thought fuck, i could marry him. like what the fuck is actually wrong with me?

i was trying to avoid him the whole night but knew i would need to eventually see him and then it just all happened at once and next thing i knew.. his hand was on my waist and we were dancing and i was getting coochie butterflies. i wanted to kiss him so bad, i wanted to do the most reckless thing so bad. but then the instant guilt starts to seep in. how dare i? is this what i meant by "i have to find myself?" god, i wonder if bj knew... how much that would've hurt her. i'm such a horrible person.. am i really going to move on this quick? is this moving on? i started to self sabotage.. i started going back to that place i was at 3 years ago when i hooked up with those boys and felt like i gave myself away..

i really don't want to fall back into that cycle, i really can't. i can't do that to my precious bee.. right?

but yesterday ryan said some really lovely things to me and i was extra thankful that we were friends. he said, "all this over a DANCE?" and in that moment i felt like i stepped out of myself to see it from a bigger picture standpoint, and i thought. wtf? he's right!

i'm not trying to be reckless. but at the end of the day, i can't try to plan out my growth. perhaps a couple mistakes along the way is going to help shape my growth.. who knows. what i know is -- i can't jump into a relationship, i don't owe anyone anything and this is all on my terms. there is nothing to overthink, i don't need to be concerned if he's messaging me, paying attention, because i made a commitment to myself and bj that i would do this self journey for a reason. to be less selfish, to be more kind and hold more grace. so as i start this therapy journey especially, i'm going to learn about me again. unpack trauma and emotions. it's going to be amazing.

so cheers to whatever that looks like. my journey is my own and i don't want it to be influenced by anyone, even bee. that will be hard but perhaps that's what i'll have to work on letting go. even with a little bit of time i am learning that life does go on, time does heal, and i don't have to be bound to any expectations.

now. i'm still trying to figure out what i want to do with this man. go on dates? kiss? hook up? date? god, who knows. it may not even go anywhere. honestly that's probably is what will happen. i already find some things weird about it. i don't want to just be excited just because it's the only person that's in front of me.

still, that's life.

[audible--silence]

Heard abroad…

I finally feel like I’ve been seeing what I’ve been looking at, appreciating what I’ve been seeing and feeling what I’ve been experiencing.

He just thought I was a new best friend that he also wanted to kiss

Oh would you look at that, I’m the bastard now.

“I’m pants on your knees type fucked”

“She’s positively buoyant”

“That pig is smarter than I”

The irony of seeing somewhere out the window of a bus that reminds me of bassendean, in Nicaragua

“Let me be delusional it’s great for my mental health”

“Take care of yourself and dont do anything stupid”

“What if i just do the stupid thing safely”

“Yeah mate wear a helmet”

Get used to it or die tryin

“I feel like we’ve seen other signs of madness already, like hanging out with you for three weeks”

“Before god/the devil puts his shoes on” - before the sun is up and things are happy

“This conversation proudly brought to you by spanish dictionary and pacifico”

What a weird way to live, with friends everywhere, who each individually mean the world, but all have their own worlds revolving around them.

How special it is to be able to collide worlds for a brief, beautiful, ballistic moment.

Only to pass each other by again,

And carry on

Why is the hamburger in space?

“When you cast your fate to the winds, you gotta learn to sail” - Bob McTavish

“Yesterday you we’re a real cunt so i get to spit on you”

“Dont cry! Just get on the bus! Get on the bus!”

Even if its an orchestrated con, it really does pull on the human in me seeing street boys peering in the windows of bars to try ask for money. Again and again, night after night.

Somehow even with less than $1 in my pocket, the excuse of “I dont have any money” doesn’t seem to land with them. The boys who have no more than the clothes on their back, the donated coins in their pocket and their street smarts.

It’s a developing problem that will only get worse for all involved but as is often the case, a solution is never obvious or easy.

“I picked myself the wrong passion” - on working with people

“I should’ve been eating a mango in Guatemala”on bad sex”

“Rich gypsy?”

“Just tipsy”

“I cannot miss somethin that i still have” - Davide

“She’s like a ferrari with a fiat engine”

“I can get drunk in Spanish”

“Im not alcoholic, they go to meetings. Im just a drunk”

“My brain isn’t braining”

“I’ve always wanted to fuck a bowl of soup”

“If I’m taking you to a nice restaurant, please dont fuck the food”

I know where im going, not whats going on

“I hate planning but i also hate not knowing whats coming next”

“Those fuckers better shut up or im gonna beat the belief in god out of them”

“Fuck off! I am affectionate!”

Lessons learned from not getting a job in a shit bar in a tourist town: be humble. Nobody cares what you can do. They care about your attitude.

I think you need an open mind so new ideas and ways of living can get in but not so open that your brains spill out.

If i learned one thing about traveling its that everyones your friend, u just havent said hello

yet

“I have beautiful family still so why should i get old yet” - wisdom from my 88 year old nan