#which would actually make the other shapes easier to do in the future

[artificer-dice]

Well attempt #2 (clear) is almost passable and a lot better than attempt #1 (blue) but I'm almost done with a re-work of the mold and everything so hopefully #3 works out better..

We'll have to see sometime tomorrow.

#handmade dice #mj reinvents the wheel #but really though if it weren't so wonky it could almosy pass as a workable dice master #plus the blemished faces you can't see in the picture #but it wasn't nearly as wonky as the first attempt and it actually made me simply the design #which would actually make the other shapes easier to do in the future #having a bit of trouble with the insert mold forms sealing themselves together and making it almost impossible to get the face plate out #so that needs some work but hopefully not too much #which may mean i have to go back through and rework some of the things i already did because i got ahead of myself because of course i did #anyway I'm taking things slower as i should but i like quick results #im using red for the next one #probably one of the new resin dyes

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Okay but hear me out!

Dead On Main Revolutionary Ghost Utena AU:

Canonically, Jason focuses his rage to summon the All Blade

Ghost Prince Danny would have the Ring of Rage, but not the Crown of Fire yet

I hypothesize to you that the two are connected, and not only that, but that wearing the ring allows one to draw the All Blade out of the other. Like, literally.

Because of this, summoning the All Blade of their own accord is the mark of a ghost powerful enough to be the ghost king's betrothed, and whatever other ghosts were in the running are pushed back in line as the All Blade wielder is now at the front.

It is part of ancient ceremony that predates Pariah as Ghost King and dates all the way back to the first Royal of the infinite realms, King Lazarus.

The connection itself is no more than a pull towards each other, a fascination at most to make an easier base to build a genuine and in this case, human connection.

To become actually engaged Jason would have to willingly appear before the Ghost Prince and allow him to draw the All Blade out of him, something he is not very excited for and might actually have other lasting impact besides the engagement.

Y'see Jason isn't a halfa the way Danny is, he came back twice in a short amount of time between those two instances, and while the second time was Lazarus induced, no one really knows how he woke up in his grave and broke himself out. There are theories but Clockwork was watching and even he doesn't seem to know for sure, so it's really anyone's guess.

So what the engagement ceremony could do, potentially, is either solidify his halfa status by sheer amount of ectoplasm transfered by the act, or alternatively it could just kill him on the spot and then he'd probably become a full ghost.

Now, neither of these sound great to Jason, but he also doesn't like that a bunch of ghosts have been trying to fight him for their Prince's hand in marriage, something they can only do while the Prince is still not engaged to anyone.

Meanwhile, Danny doesn't appreciate that as soon as he came of age all these marriage proposals started being thrown at him, he's known some of these ghosts since he was a teenager so that's really weird for one, and he gets that most of them are just trying to secure their happiness and not to mention their future safety as the mortal world seems to be moving on with the anti ecto act, which had lead many a specter to retreat back to the realms, causing a lot of unrest as the realms become more crowded and politically tense between factions who have not needed to interact for a while now.

It would seem the Amity portal and even Danny fighting the ghosts and sending them back through it was the break many of the realms' denizens desperately needed, but now with that option no longer being safe, as even their king can't protect them from the GIW when they're gaining so much support from governments across the world, tensions are running high in the realms and it seems that it's every ghost for themselves.

Danny doesn't really resent any of the ghosts for doing what they feel they must to make sure they aren't destroyed in what is shaping out to be a realms wide war at this point, even as he works overtime with his council to prevent that from happening, and he understands they obviously don't expect any actual marital kind of relationship from him, which is at least a little reassuring even if the idea of being married to any of them is still very weird, but he can't help but think there could be a better solution here that he's missing.

And then he feels it, a pull telling him he's overlooked something, someone important.

It's like a fire engulfing his ice core but not burning it somehow, just as it does not cool the fire around it.

Two opposite forces meant to cancel each other out, somehow instead keeping perfect equilibrium with one another.

He talks to Frostbite and Clockwork and finds out what that pull is and takes their advice to follow it.

Jason doesn't realize he just altered the source of all his recent problems to his location as he draws the All Blade to fend off yet another "challenger to the Prince's hand" whatever the hell that means, as finally one of them was dumb enough to try to use actual magic against him.

However, he soon feels the answering pull back from Danny as the latter decides to use the power in his ring to open the portal, feeling that this candidate should at least know he's coming to talk to him.

It's almost the opposite, he feels the fire of the pit madness flaring a bit, but instead of immediately trying to spread, to threaten to consume him unless he tempers it himself, it is still burning just as strong and wild, but kept in one place by an icy chill, an aura of cold, clear fury and calm in equal measure, it doesn't thaw from the fire anymore than his fire dies from the lack of heat around it.

They sustain each other, impossibly.

So Jason and Danny finally meet and give each other the rundown of their side of things and agree that maybe the best bet to not only stop ghosts from attacking Jason and proposing to Danny, but perhaps the key to overthrowing the GIW so the realms' denizens don't have to afterlive in fear and portals can be reinstated to allow travel through the realms and back, not to mention keeping the GIW from going after Jason himself who by their definition is certainly considered an ecto entity, is in fact to go through with the Ring and Blade ceremony.

Jason, at this point, is more of Earth than Danny, who has unfortunately had to step back from his normal mortal life when he turned 18 to take care of realms business, despite still only being Prince.

He was meant to have more time but with the GIW advancing like they had been it was in the realms' best interest as well as his own that he decree the realms going no contact with humans for the foreseeable future.

It's been nearly 3 years since then and they are still getting ghosts back from parts of the world who have been avoiding humans as much as they can.

As soon as he turned 21 all this ghost marriage nonsense has has been making his job of protecting the ghosts in all the realms a lot more difficult, so when ghosts realized he didn't want to be challenged every day for his hand, they went to the next best thing, the top candidate.

Now, Phantom was saying that he's gonna marry the guy they've all been trying to defeat (and failing, to his credit, so at least he was worthy of being top pick)

A lot of them were upset or disappointed, but he explained how this arrangement could potentially help out everyone in the long run and most got on board when they heard the new plan.

Now the only problem is that getting engaged, as mentioned previously, is a ceremony that could prove dangerous to Jason and "not to be insensitive about it, but if you die and become a ghost that sorta defeats one of the main purposes of us even doing this." Danny points out.

"So what's our plan, Your Majesty?" "It's Royal Highness, I'm not king yet, thank the ancients for that." "Yeah yeah, so what are we doing, Your Royal Whinyness?" "Rude. Anyway, there's a chance you might become a full halfa during the process, that means getting a second form and a fully developed core and powers besides the All Blade, which would be better than you dying. So the best way to ensure that outcome, as much as any outcome can be guaranteed anyway, is to start the process of making you a halfa before the ceremony."

"Okay? How do we do that?" "Well, we gotta get some ecto in you - " "aren't you made of that? This better not be a pickup line" "no, not like that! I told you, this marriage doesn't have to be anything more than a contract, I'm about as thrilled about having to get married to save my people as you are about doing this to stop ghost from kicking your ass on a weekly basis." "Excuse me? I won all those fights!" "Yeah, after getting tossed into brick walls 5 times per ghost" "not every ghost tossed me into walls. Box Bitch did throw crates at me tho, that hurt." "Holyshit, Boxy is not messing around anymore huh? Well, makes sense, he's a father now. He doesn't wanna raise his little girl in these conditions. Still glad he lost, but I'm surprised Lunch Lady even agreed to him trying."

So they start Jason on his ecto diet and in the meantime the batfam is brought up to date about everything that's happening and they get to work, Batman gathers the JL to push back on the GIW's fuckery and all of Jason's siblings have an engagement party and a bachelor bash to plan. The girls decide to plan a Bachelorette party for Danny because he deserves to have a break as well.

Jason hates his stupid family, but Danny seems happy to be part of one again after so long, so he sucks it up and plays along.

It's possible that maybe while preparing and planning and helping each other and working together, Jason has gotten to know and developed a fondness for Danny.

Okay so maybe he's a sappy fuck who fell head over heels in love with him in the span of like a month, but this is still just a contract to Danny, and Jason isn't going to push for or expect anything more. Danny doesn't need that kind of stress in his life rn.

Danny has been freaking out since he met his soon to be husband because holyshit that's Red Hood, that is THE Red Hood! No wonder he passed the trial of the All Blade, and the way that fire burned around Danny's core, a fire he now recognized as the warmth answering from Jason's own, made him realize that this is way more than just a contract to him. Still, he'd been part of the realms for a lot longer than Jason ans he was their future king. Jason as part of this contract would be his equal but until the marriage was sealed, he was still technically Jason’s superior. And it didn't feel right to take adventage of that and suddenly change the terms of this deal, to make Jason in any way feel pressured by Danny's own feelings. No, this was just a contract, like Jason wanted it to be. He would keep that promise to him.

Jazz and Babs get together to help their idiot baby brothers figure out their unrequited love is actually very much mutual pining and they're just being stupid.

Anyway the marriage ceremony is a different ritual from the engagement ceremony, the All Blade wielder summons it and presents it to the wearer of the ring, who sheaths it back into the summoner's core, symbolizing that they both have power over the Blade but it belongs to its wielder, and even the king himself may not keep it without permission. The Blade as a manifestation of Jason's will.

(And as a bonus, we know Jason is a literary nerd so he recognizes and appreciates the romance novel tropes happening to him, especially in the high king's court, but he is not a weeb. So I don't think he'd recognize the Utena references happening to him. But you know who I think would? You know who is a weeb who loves swords and is soooo jealous of Todd and his husband right now? It's Damian. Damian's fucking seething that he doesn't get a magic sword. He's so pissed and it's very funny.)

#dee's aus #dee writes #dc x dp #dead on main #ghost king danny #ghost bride Jason #rgu inspired au #mostly just the imagery #very loosley based on Prince Utena and Rose Bride Anthy #this was supposed to be just a silly goofy haha idea but now its got so much lore

[grailfinders]

Grailfinders #337: Hai Bà Trưng

happy easter y’all, I hope you’re all enjoying your chocolate, eggs, chocolate eggs, and eggs in the shape of chocolate. we’re back at it again with a crisis, both a water monster crisis, and the fact that I can’t really spell the Trưng Sisters’ names right on this keyboard, so from this point on expect me to use the wrong kind of u.

spelling aside, the Trung sisters are a combo of Glory Paladin for their winning attitude and glowy weaponry, as well as an Echo Knight Fighter because… duh. there’s two of ‘em.

check out their build breakdown below the cut, or their characters sheet over here!

next up: “so what’s it like being split into a thousand consciousnesses?” “eh, it has its pros and Cons”

Ancestry & Background

the Trung sisters are probably human, unless you believe in that ascending to the heavens bit, but either way they’re close enough for it to work here. that means they get +1 Strength and +1 Charisma, as well as proficiency with Animal Handling for their elephants and the Ritual Caster feat to actually get those things. with this feat you get two first level wizard spells like Find Familiar and Comprehend Languages that you can ritual cast as many times as you like- the former one of your lil elephant friends, and the latter is the grail translating for you. you can even add new spells to your ritual book if you find them lying around in scrolls or other spell books, so keep an eye out!

also the Trung sisters are Nobles, so they get proficiency in History and Persuasion. if you took a shot every time we released one of these builds with a noble background the only thing that would save your liver is our update schedule. and again, we know noble is a big step down from king, but we do what we can.

Ability Scores

going off the standard array, Charisma should be your highest stat to start out with. it’s literally one of your abilities, and it makes all your paladin stuff extra juicy. second highest is your Strength, since you kill things with spears and swords. R.I.P., Infinitiger. your third highest stat has to be Intelligence since that’s how we qualify for ritual caster, and you definitely know your way around a battlefield. this means our Constitution is lower than I’d like again, but it’s okay for now. the real problem is your low Dexterity making your outfit choices a little difficult to work with, but at least that’s better than your Wisdom. half of you is too busy being a siscon to pay attention when they’re on watch, and you died because your underlings betrayed you. rough.

Class Levels

1. Paladin 1: starting as a paladin gives you proficiency in Wisdom and Charisma saves, as well as Athletics and Insight. despite dumping their wisdom, the Trungs are good leaders and judges of character. paladins also start out with a Divine Sense, letting you pick out extraplanar creatures nearby. you learn their location and what they are, but not who they are. I don’t think the kons are extraplanar, but if they were that would make them so much easier to round up. also if they get chomped on by a fishman you can patch them up with Lay on Hands- you get five HP per day per paladin level, and you can touch someone as an action to either heal them or use five HP to cure a disease of theirs. real useful when you live on a deserted island with no casters.

2. Paladin 2: second level paladins get a Fighting Style, and while Defense would be the smarter choice for +1 AC your spear and sword are both one-handed weapons, so I’m getting the Dueling fighting style instead. that gives you +2 to the damage done with a one-handed weapon every time you hit with it! extra armor might protect you from some damage, but killing will protect you from all future damage!

you also learn Spells which you cast and prepare using your Charisma, but the only spell I really want at this point you’ll get permanently next level so I’ll cover it then. for now, you can also use your spell slots for some Divine Smites- burn a spell slot, deal extra radiant damage when you hit something, deal extra extra damage when you hit a demon or zombie.

3. Paladin 3: third level paladins have Divine Health, so now you can never get sick. anime characters don’t get sick unless they do, and if they do it’s plot related anyway so your DM probably won’t let you off the hook even if you have this.

more importantly, you are now fighting for the Glory of your people, so you get some oath spells! they’re always prepared and they don’t count against your prep limits- Guiding Bolt hits a guy and gives the next person to attack them advantage, and Heroism is the spell I was talking about in level two. with this spell, you can give a creature immunity to being frightened plus some bonus temporary HP every turn for up to a minute!

you also get two Channel Divinity options, and you can use one of those each short rest. you can either become a Peerless Athlete for ten minutes to make up for how spread out your stats are, or you can use an Inspiring Smite to give temporary HP to nearby creatures after you make a divine smite. both of these options use your bonus action, so you can squeeze them into your turns pretty easily right now.

4. Paladin 4: now that you can cast spells you can become an Eldritch Adept using your very first Ability Score Improvement- technically I should save you getting your Armor of Shadows for later to coincide with your third ascension but I’m not going to leave you at 10 AC for the whole dang build. now you can cast Mage Armor on yourself for free, adding 3 to your AC total while unarmored.

5. Paladin 5: fifth level paladins get an Extra Attack each action, so now you can hit twice a turn! I mean. there’s two of you, that tracks. you also get 2nd level spells, including your freebies Enhance Ability, again to overcome stat spread, and Magic Weapon, to make your weapons all glowy for your NP.  they also get +1 all attack rolls and damage rolls.

you can also Find Steed now to give your elephant the boost it needs to be ridable! sure it’s still not elephant sized yet, but you can get it up to a warhorse, that’s pretty neat! also you can use Gentle Repose to keep those water monsters from doing their con-eating trick. they might not be undead, but it keeps them from getting up again so it’s close enough.

6. Fighter 1: we’ve got plenty of Trung now, so let’s work on the sister part. bouncing over to fightergives you a Fighting Style, which means we can take Defense after all! or Dueling if you were smart and took the AC first. speaking of AC, you also get a Second Wind once a short rest, letting you heal up as a bonus action!

7. Fighter 2: second level fighters get an Action Surge, so now you can make a second action with a second attack for a total of four in a single turn!

8. Fighter 3: third level fighters can become Echo Knights, letting them Manifest Echo as a bonus action. this creates a copy of you with better AC and 1 HP that you can move around the battlefield as you wish, as long as it stays within 30’ of you. you can attack from its position as well as your own, and you can even swap places with your sister as a bonus action too!

you can also Unleash Incarnation up to Constitution Modifier times a day, adding an extra echo attack to your attack action! right now that’s only once, but it’ll get better as we go.

thanks to the echo knight’s funky splitting, we can use buffing spells like Magic Weapon and it will improve both sisters’ weapons at the same time!

9. Fighter 4: fourth level fighters get another ASI, so grab the Slasher feat to round up your Strength score as well as protect the precious cons! once a turn you can slow down a creature you hit with slashing damage, and your critical hits force disadvantage on the attack rolls of whatever you sliced through! if you’re going to bring marshmallows to the front lines, it’s best to make sure they don’t die.

10. Fighter 5: fifth level fighters get… nothing! extra attacks don’t stack like that.

11. Fighter 6: as a consolation prize, sixth level fighters get a bonus ASI, so bump up that constitution for 11 points of health (remember that +1 each level is retroactive) and for more unleashed incarnations! now you can attack up to six times in a single turn! that would use up literally every spell slot you have right now, but you can!

12. Paladin 6: sixth level paladins have an Aura of Protection, so everyone around you gets a +3 bonus to all their saves! now your cons won’t get blown up by a fireball… as much. I’m sure a successful save would still get the cons knocked out though.

13. Paladin 7: seventh level glory paladins get an Aura of Alacrity, so everyone around you gets a movement speed boost. again, it’s keeping the cons out of harm’s way!

14. Paladin 8: at eighth level you get another ASI, so bump up your Strength for stronger attacks!

15. Paladin 9: ninth level paladins get third level spells, and you get Haste and Protection from Energy for free! I’m sure you could argue a D&D build would have to be perma-hasted to even stand a chance at keeping up with a servant, but really the only third level spell I want here is Elemental Weapon. in contrast to magical weapon, you still get a +1 bonus to attacking, but the bonus damage is a little stronger, and you can make that damage an elemental type like acid or fire. I’d use cold damage here for their demon slayer-esque water sword attacks. or you could use something like Crusader’s Mantle to give everyone around you mini-smites for up to a minute.

16. Paladin 10: at tenth level your natural leadership abilities give you an Aura of Courage, so nearby creatures can’t be frightened while you’re around. it’s a shame it only has a range of ten feet, that would’ve really come in handy while you were alive.

17. Paladin 11: I hope you like radiant damage, because an eleventh level paladin has an Improved Divine Smite, adding a d8 of the stuff to every melee attack you make. that basically doubles your damage output most of the time- there’s a lot of doubling going on in this build, almost like you’re two people or something.

18. Paladin 12: twelfth level paladins get one last ASI, so bump up that Constitution again to not die! not dying’s my favorite hobby, and I bet its yours too, we have so much in common.

19. Paladin 13: our last level of paladin gets you Compulsion and Freedom of Movement and a bunch of other spells but who cares because it also gets you Find Greater Steed, letting us finally have an elephant-sized elephant. well, actually a rhino-sized elephant but it’s waaay closer than a horse.

20. Fighter 7: our true final level is going back to fighter to become an Echo Avatar. now you can transfer your mind to your sister and basically play as her, with the max range of the echo increasing to 1,000 feet while you do so. this also doesn’t prevent you from switching places with her, so you can trivialize a lot of traps by just sending the more expendable sister ahead of you.

obviously I don’t think this level’s in character, but it’s at least slightly moreso than the next paladin level where you can break curses by touching people, so here it is.

Pros & Cons

Pros:

while I didn’t go over it much in the build itself, Paladin has some nice spells, and unless you’re super dedicated to playing in-character I highly recommend you look at the full spell list before committing to just using spell slots for smiting and elephants. also, ritual caster doesn’t look like much on the surface but if you play your cards right it gives you access to a ridiculous amount of Utility, giving you plenty to do outside of combat. with ritual caster you have access to spells no paladin would ever be able to cast like drawmij’s instant summons, and you can become the party’s communication hub with spells like Contact Other Plane or Skywrite.

you can attack way more in a single turn than a paladin really should be able to, which means you take the paladin’s burst damage potential and crank it all the way up to eleven! with action surge and unleash incarnation, you triple the number of attacks a paladin should ever be able to get, making you a burst damage machine. assuming a regular longsword with elemental weapon on it, you deal 6d8+36 slashing + 25d8 radiant + 6d4 cold, for an average of just under 200 damage in a single round.

 I know this last one isn’t much, but. riding an elephant is so cool y’all, it gets its own section.

Cons:

pretty much all the damage you do is either radiant or physical, so the second you come across something that can handle those two your damage output is completely neutered. I really hope there aren’t any celestial monsters on the islands…

I know paladin spell slots are really, really good for smiting, but as written we aren’t using them for anything else. okay yeah there’s summoning elephants, but that’s still a very small part of what paladins can do- they’ve got plenty of healing spells and defensive buffs they can offer, and while that might not be in-character, it’s a smart tactical decision.

your AC is bad. but you can just wear heavy armor if you feel like it. yeah two of these are just “if you deliberately kneecap yourself, you play worse,” and I’m sorry, but paladin’s a good class, fighter’s a good class, they’re just two great tastes that taste great together. their biggest real weakness is a lack of area of effect spells, but that’s not super punchy, and even then you can slice through six guys like it’s nothing with the only area you’re really affecting being your sword!

#fgo #fate grand order #D&D 5e #DND #Trung Sisters #Hai Bà Trưng #ha

[rebouks]

Hello! I'm that anon who once asked you about the lots you use in your gameplay and whether you built them all. I'm so impressed that you create most of them yourself! But ever since you replied to that question, I've been trying to envision a lot for one of my upcoming gameplays, but I'm struggling to fully see it in my mind, so I was wondering if you'd mind giving some tips on your process of building your lots. Building is my weakest skill in the game, but I want to give it a try!

hello again anon!! i'm very flattered u think it's impressive 🥺 i truly love creating spaces for these guys! i'll try my best to kinda go into my process but be warned.. like anything else i do it's pretty much just chaos/winging it dkjsdkj (it'd be much easier if i used floorplans or smth simple so i could be like, here do this! but alas...)

okay i'm prolly gonna ramble a lot here but i mostly base my builds off random visions/future scenes that pop into my head or straight up vibes.. which isn't very helpful ik but hopefully if i explain it'll make a bit more sense!

so with Oscar's house above i knew i wanted it to be BIG, but i didn't want it to feel like a mansion they couldn't afford so i added some other houses on the lot and just gave em the biggest plot! i also knew i wanted it to be symmetrical, but only from the outside cos i wanted it to feel slightly chaotic on the inside, also hence the random tower addition on the left and the sunroom on the right.. like it used to be a big grand symmetrical "mansion" (prolly at the time it was built) but over the years kinda ended up as a convoluted mess left to rot until someone rescued it (yay for Oscar's impulsivity 🤸‍♀️) AND IT NEEDED AN ATTIC!! u kno cos where else would Clementine live?? 👻

so really i had no inspo pics or house plan layouts to go off here, just a vibe and an idea, i started with a rough shape and worked out all the kinks from there, then added the other lots.. be prepared to hate your wip and start over tho cos ig it's all part of the fun!

here we have an actual wip to use as an example! so with this one i basically knew i wanted a wrap around style house around a "courtyard" but since mt. komo is shit and doesn't have any decent sized lots we'll have to go with an L-shaped design and a third floor ig 😩 i started with the ground floor and just pissed around with the others until i ended up with smth just right, like anything else i do, building is just ruminating on an idea until i'm like.. yeah that works sdkjskj.. also handy to place the bare minimum furniture items as u go to get a feel of how the space does or doesn't work so u can fix it n stuff!

also feel free to make shit look strange if it works, for example these window placements look weird as hell on the outside, but real life houses aren't always symmetrical or perfect on the outside and we spend most of our time on the inside where the windows make perfect sense so.. yeah! i'm big on views from the INSIDE of the house so i just make stuff work, also big fan of using ivy/wall decs n stuff to "fix" the way it might look on the outside if needs be too..

the school i made for Robin n' co. was entirely built around this pool (cos it's IMPORTANT) and the fact that it had to have a glass roof (it just HAD to ok idk why but we must kneel to the vision when it strikes 🧎‍♀️) i tried to make the rest of it make sense around it tho, like maybe it was added on afterward so the rest is a pretty standard shape with offices n shit near the entrances etc.. ALSO (wait i actually need to explain smth else before we get to this also BUT BEAR WITH ME!)

ask yourself some questions (if u want? or just dl a house idk dskjdk)

i treat building similarly to writing and that means asking yourself some questions.. like you might ask why a character is doing/saying something, what happened in the past to make them this way? what're they aiming for in the future to choose these paths etc etc.. WELL.. what's this building for, who is it for, who chose to live here, who got stuck here, why do they like it, why do they hate it, etc etc.

we either get stuck somewhere we hate and it doesn't suit us, or we're lucky enough to choose somewhere that we love, but why? Oscar's house is sprawling and chaotic because they kinda are, and it suits them! all the random cupboards leading nowhere and the quirky additions are just perfect for them, if they were real people looking for a real house they'd view it and LOVE it, but other characters definitely would NOT 😅 the wip is neat and practical cos the people who're gonna live there are! 👀 and the school (see we got to that ALSO eventually) has that huge "grand" courtyard at the front that's actually pretty useless because it's a shitty comprehensive school that wants to give the image that it's decent, but actually it's a bit shit and there's nothing going on in the back, nowhere for the kids to play outside and very limited resources/equipment for them either.. like everything is built the way it is for a reason, which is why i think i find it so impossible to use other ppls builds, cos they don't fit all these visions in my mind...

ok i'm gonna shut up now but i HOPE this rambling mess somewhat explains how i go about starting a build and why.. i'm not sure i can help with the vision part since your brain is your own but floorplan websites and things like pinterest or even just google images are great for giving you ideas if you're struggling!

#ranswers #<33 #today on becca writes a big ass fkin TED talk no one asked for #dflkdlfk #well apart from u nonny and i hope it helps! 😆 #my brain is full of 1000 cymbal smashing monkey's all going off at once #yet they somehow all understand each other over the chaos #🤸‍♀️

[cerealforkart]

I made myself these little dress up dolls because everyone’s getting changed all the time, here’s the first batch, outfits pre-episode 13

Design notes under the cut

[part 2] [part 3]

Lincoln

* I would first of all like to thank Lincoln for being shaped like a model (long boy) and thus very easy to dress up

* I forgot that Link needed to tear off his sleeves to make Normal a diaper in lesson 14, so in lesson 11 he grabs a sweater when I assume he goes home between escaping the FBI and returning to school

* Lincoln is so comically tall the Teeny costume (which I just moved from Normal to Link and edited to match Link’s pose) only reaches his knees. It actually looked so stupid that I had to edit it to make the Teeny costume slightly longer in the legs

* Link has two roombas in his room, he’s a clean boy, he isn’t walking around Taylor’s house in his bare feet, he doesn’t trust like that, it’s sock time

Scary

* I actually originally planned for Scary to have more piercings, but I forgot to add them in lesson 1. Let’s just say her mom won’t let her go crazy on the piercings, from what we’ve heard in rad facts (wouldn’t let her get a tongue piercing or learn guitar) that sounds in character

* I wanted to do the Shit Garden logo on Scary’s shirt like one of those metal bands that only people who like metal can actually read, but I only have so much time and patience

* I want so badly to play with Scary’s hair more, but I haven’t really had the chance, I hope there will be more excuses to give her different styles in the future, I like the braided bun for fancy occasions a lot

* Big T-shirt and shorts are peak pyjamas, love it for her. Also, you don’t need to know how long I spent trying to come up with something for her shirt to say

Normal

* Don’t tell anyone but I kind of miss drawing Teeny’s big stupid head every day, it was easy comedy

* I did actually draw a Jimmy Buffet design on the shirt before scribbling over it, you can barely see if you look closely

* I don’t actually have anything to say about Normal’s dance outfit so I guess I’ll just take this opportunity to talk about my Normal design in general. He was the one it took me the longest to land on and I’m still unsure if I’m happy with him, I want his hair to be long enough to just sorta hang and be greasy, but not so long that it will get in his face too much and I still consistently fail on it

* Not much to say about his sleepover fit either. Froggy :)

Taylor

* I had originally planned for everyone to be wearing their bracelets on their left wrists but in episode 8 it’s mentioned that Taylor is wearing his on his right, at that point I think I had only drawn Taylor’s bracelet once so it was easier to just change his and let him be a special boy (also, they keep the bracelets on post-FBI because Taylor never really has an opportunity to take it off and the others wear theirs in solidarity)

*After Lesson 10, Taylor swaps out the crest of friendship from Digimon to wear his dad’s ring of swapping as a necklace, he tends to grab at it when his dad or the topic of betrayal comes up

* I hate Taylor for his dance fit. No longer my favourite son

* Not really a design note but I watched the Sailor Moon dub in three parts on youtube with my little sister huddled around our home computer after school, we’re real OGs

Hermie

* I finally decided to add the Joker makeup to my Hermie design, I found a powdery sorta brush to use for it so now he’s a true clown. Good for him I guess

* You may notice that I’ve tweaked my Hermie design and his colour scheme just a little bit. This is because white Hermie is dead and you know what? Good for him. I also made his hair a little wavier for Scam, you’ll start seeing the updated Hermie design (as if you can tell there’s a difference other than the very slight change in hairstyle) in lesson 16, because I drew the lesson 15 pages before episode 23 came out and I wasn’t going to go back and change them

* Stupid Joker tie. Hate it

* No sleepover fit for Hermie. Tragic. They need to have another sleepover and include him

#these are so much fun #love my kids #love their stupid outfits #dungeons and daddies #dndads #lincoln li wilson #scary marlowe #normal oak #taylor swift dndads #hermie the unworthy #doodly

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1103 - Initial Thoughts

Break? What Break?

The internet works in mysterious ways, and as it turns out there is another One Piece chapter left in the year

Maybe Oda was leading us astray after being a sobbing mess from last chapter, but let's see it

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release

In conjunction with Monsters it seems, color spread of the crew, Momo and Yamato, appreciate Franky having the dragon hair too

We flash back to after Bonney saw the memory paw, met by Vegapunk outside the room

Reverting to her actual age, Bonney hugs Vegapunk and apologizes

Turns out that Kuma even gave Bonney a gift, a sapphire necklace shaped like the sun

A protective charm apparently, not sure if that's metaphorical or actual

Bonney also asks about Luffy, as they think about the serendipity of them appearing at the same time

Knowing that Vegapunk didn't have a choice it further explains why Bonney targeted Saturn immediately

We are finally back in the present now, with Saturn reiterating that Kuma is dead

Luffy is hungry, but the aura of Saturn has kept everyone pinned still, including Atlas, Franky and Sanji

Sentomaru has been captured too

Misinformation spreads about the Emperor's barricade and capture of Vegapunk, which leads to public concern

Dragon ponders on Kuma's departure and where he would go, Iva thinks if it were them it'd be Marejois (which technically he did but it felt more in the way) but also knows Kuma better than that

Maybe Vegapunk did build the switch but it needs to be added in? And he was programmed to seek it when all commands are gone?

What if the protective charm is that switch?

Speaking of though, she tries to hit Saturn with a Nika-esque punch

It doesn't do much, and Bonney's power continues to drain

Seems that Bonney's powers are not fully tied to it though

However as Saturn laments, Luffy is dining!

The navy go down to try and immobilize him, but it's clear it wasn't Kizaru

Did Caribou come in clutch again with the food? I swear

Bonney can't even manipulate her own age around Saturn, as he reveals that he gave Bonney her powers

Bonney didn't even eat a fruit, she was experimented on to have the Devil Fruit

Which makes the whole production and trade of SMILE even more unnecessary

They believe it to be an unnecessary fruit too, since while it can transform however they want determined on the future, the power decrease when their knowledge of the future is too far from reality

Kuma is charging in though as Saturn continues his villain monologue, and Bonney realises a world where Kuma is dead and unable to show him Nika weakened her tether to that potential future

See? You did fucking remember him at God Valley you cretinous fuck

Oh My God and he even experimented on Ginny, the Sapphire Scales were a result of those experimentations

Kuma lands on Egghead, as Bonney continues to be shaken and Vegapunk violently accuses of Saturn being the root of all Kuma's hardship

And his justification 'why should I understand the feelings of an insect?'

Kuma is here and he is charging through the island, alerting navy soldiers and Saturn

Kuma continues to be razed and swarmed with bullets and cannonfire, continuing his run, as Bonney unable to speak mulls over how Kuma is still mindlessly charging into his death

Bonney wonders if it'd have been easier if she had died, which means we need to make sure she knows she wants to live

Just as the navy go to shoot Bonney, they're blown away by explosions

So Saturn throws Bonney down and readies to impale her

But Kuma blocks it with his back

This is not an Ace moment though, Because Kuma gets up, his hand gripping that damned talon out of his back and his other clenched in a fist

Saturn finally has fear in his eyes, for this is a man who will not stand down any longer, there is nothing left to control, Bartholomew Kuma is raging and you will feel his rage

The punch needs to hit, even if it doesn't do much we need to give Kuma a lifetime of catharsis by smacking the taste out of Jay Garcia Saturn.

We've just got one of the Gorosei here and yet we've made him into some of the most reviled creatures in this story, which is saying a lot given what we've had before.

I mean, Luffy getting back up for Gear Fifth does still make sense, knowing that Kuma and Bonney need to see Nika in order to believe, and there's still the matter of the Self-Destruct switch, but we can let Kuma have a little bit.

I dunno if this chapter was planned for this year, but it was still a good one to end the year on, roll into 2024 for Luffy to flourish in his Yonko title, let Zoro dispatch Lucci swiftly too and maybe give Kizaru something to redeem himself with.

But for a lifetime of things Bartholomew Kuma has not deserved to have done to him, he deserves to punch Saturn in the face

#one piece #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #egghead island arc #future island arc #bartholomew kuma #jewelry bonney #dr vegapunk #saint jay garcia saturn #kizaru #borsalino #emporio ivankov #monkey d. dragon #monkey d. luffy #and yes let's not forget that the giant mecha has been waking up during all this #and that the seraphim have likely been activated against the crew again #and it's still been months since we last saw Nico Robin in present day I mean c'mon Oda

[sailorblossoms]

Simon and Baz have significant moments of challenging their expectations, redefining what it means to be a monster, and seeing that they match. Lots to say about that, but there's a moment in CO I want to highlight – the moment before Baz's delightfully dramatic "open sesame."

Simon, who has the heroic role, has to break away from the black-and-white mentality that shaped his life and provided the bubble that allowed him not to think or process anything ever. Which not only leads to denial or to reframing things that might be obviously gay for the reader in the (frankly silly) hero vs villain mentality (gotta make sure you're always around to watch your evil nemesis play football to figure out Evil Plots, obviously! gotta make sure you're around whenever he's doing things he enjoys/it's good at! when he's doing the one thing that makes him wear a uniform that shows more skin, when he's always fully covered!) but it was actually part of Simon not having the tools to figure himself out.

Before Baz's shows up, Simon has a very revealing conversation with Penny. He's eating (food is connected to love in the series, and to connection, and later we even get a connection of food as pleasure... which is, in turn, intrinsically connected to love when it comes to Simon. There's stuff in awtwb showing he doesn't know pleasure outside of his love for Baz) and when Penny says something that makes Simon consider Baz could be dead for the first time, he can't eat. After weeks of looking for Baz, worried sick, this would've likely been his breaking point, except Baz shows up (right when Simon can't take it anymore) (right when Simon is fresh out of his own cage: his comphet relationship).

When Simon opens his mouth, you can't trust shit he says as long as he's operating inside of his hero vs villain bubble. Penny mistakenly assumes Simon's negative emotional state has something to do with Agatha when Simon is actually thinking about Baz (the bitch has to be reminded Agatha exists). Similarly, Simon rants that "his girlfriend who is good can't be in love when his nemesis who is bad" – Simon doesn't want Agatha to be in love with Baz, which one could mistakenly assume it's about Agatha, when it's all about Baz. You won't find Simon having any shit to give about Agatha's love life (other than being happy she has Niamh in the future) unless it involves Baz, not even when he is allegedly in it. If you want to look at details, this is the part where Simon notes he has Baz's handkerchief, which he took away from Agatha, almost as if he's soothing himself like that.

Having someone's handkerchief (with their initials on it, even) has intimate, romantic implications. Simon lost it at the specific moment when he realized Agatha had it, because it's like seeing a physical manifestation of her having "Baz's heart." The way he refuses to give it back (specifically in a moment where Baz is pushing him away, and communication between them is atrocious) is also a more subtle demonstration of the possessiveness Simon has when it comes to Baz.

The point is at that moment, he's talking about good vs evil, holding onto the bubble that allows him not to think or feel because there's something there he can't handle: the idea of Baz belonging to someone else. Simon mistakenly believes Baz is interest in Agatha, and so he believes, even if he doesn't explicitly acknowledge it, that if Agatha wants Baz, Agatha will absolutely have him. This hurts for several reasons: if dating the prettiest girl is a form of succeding and proving yourself by making yourself "aspirational," the girl choosing someone else is a form of failure (made worse by Simon's abandonment issues). Imagine if Penny said she wanted Baz, what that would do to Simon. There's an element of that too: Agatha is one of his only close friends. If she wants Baz, that's a betrayal more relevant to Simon than "girlfriend cheating" (focusing on cheating is easier and less complicated, but he tells on himself when he tells us he has only ever seen Agatha as a friend, and he says that in the precise moment where he should be talking about why he should want her to be his girlfriend again).

On top of it all, there's a very simple truth: Simon doesn't want competition for Baz's heart. Simon is jealous, but romantically, it's only centered on Baz. Simon is longing for Baz. He's worried for Baz's safety while trying to avoid facing heartbreak he fears is coming, and he absolutely won't be able to handle. Hence the handkerchief. And not wanting Agatha, who he actually sees as competition (she's not the one who knows Baz best, Simon is!!) to go after Baz, to hold his hands (Simon can't do that, he has to pick fights if he wants to touch him) to have feelings for him. And if Simon sees Agatha as competition, there's likely a part of him deep down, buried and unacknowledged, that fears he can't win against her. The part that it's not realizing "gay feelings" are the answer to the equation, otherwise it doesn't add up. But good vs evil is easier. It fails to capture who any of these people truly are or what they feel, but hell, it's easier. After all, Simon is not realizing yet that Baz is just a boy like him, and that having him romantically is what he has been looking for ever since he started following him everywhere, if not even before that.

#simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #simon snow trilogy #carry on #baz x simon #awtwb #baz grimm pitch #agatha wellbelove #wayward son

[charseraph]

You’ve probably answered this before, but do you have any advice for anyone wanting to make their own spec bio species? I tried making my own but I feel like they’re too humanoid of designs but that’s also what I’m most comfortable with😔

Don’t worry, I’m happy to answer! 🤲🏼

I found that finding a shape, even the most ‘unusable,’ ‘un-animal-able’ shape around you, and then replicating that shape as accurately as you can in a sinch (no streamlining! Shaky messed up lines are ENCOURAGED, living things are all imperfect squiggles, so minimize your erases and undos!) can help with silhouette ideas.

(The reason for that is that instead of deleting a ‘bad’ drawing outright, you can start anew or copy only the parts you liked, and then boom! You’ve got one drawing you’re happy with and another you’ll more likely than not return to in the future, however far.)

(A dozen fast, improvised designs can beat out a single painstakingly planned one. It seems counterintuitive that quantity can be better than quality, but that’s only if you know the quality ahead of time! When it comes to concept art, more is better at the very beginning.)

Once you’ve replicated a handful of shapes, don’t add eyes and ears. In fact, don’t draw anything you’d think of as something an animal would have. The frequent fallbacks are tails, claws, paws, toes, ears, horns, fur, wings, joints, teeth, snouts, and hexapedal, quadrupedal, and bipedal bodies with heads in the front. These things are not universal, they are just our earthly scope of our closest relatives.

Modeling an alien species after insects, birds, reptiles, or sea life will make your alien nonhuman, but still earthling. These categories won’t necessarily arise in an alien world. Evolution doesn’t produce birds as we know them, evolution takes the most convenient source material and produces something to fill the niches birds occupy, and birds happened to be that source material.

I like to think about building a species like building a robot. How does a robot know where it’s going? Light sensors, maybe. Those don’t need to be orbs, or even at the front. How do some robots move? They don’t necessarily need spines or toes or claws or tails. How is fuel acquired? Lots of earth animals happen to have a hole in the front that sucks it in and breaks it up for refinement. Does it only have to be this way?

The more you separate life from Earth and relate it more to processes, means to the goal of continuing one’s design’s existence, creating more and more alien but still feasibly alive creatures becomes easier.

Above all, it should be fun. Researching biological precedent and basis from actual animals isn’t absolutely required, because those processes are based on logic—through which you can invent (or accidentally independently replicate) your own symbioses, organs, life cycles, and body chemistries.

Earth nature is like a template: working too closely from it can make you something that’s feasible, but could be recognizably earthly. Imagination is like raw resources: difficult to refine into something that makes total sense at first (from a lack of reference and guidance), but, with the right balance of templates and shots in the dark—you can make something positively, confidently alien!

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to of course! It’s not a rule set, and you aren’t doing anything wrong if you don’t do them. The ultimate goal is to enjoy creating, not just the end result. Your aliens should be fun for you to draw. The amount of worldbuilding you want to do is your choice alone and no one else’s. Stopping at a single species, culture, planet is perfectly OK. Don’t let guides or other worlds pressure you into making more than you’re craving to.

If you ever make any drafts, however small, I’d love to see them. I’m always down to hear about people’s alien ideas, I sometimes throw in some fan art to help out. I wish you the best of luck, fun, and ease.

#char speaks #ask #thank you for asking! #speculative biology

[theonethatyaks93]

Sketch Showcase Time!!!

Sooooooooo, these are days two and three of my "Learning How-To Draw Pinky and Brain Phase." And, y'all, I think I found my groove! This is attempt 2 of drawing Pinky:

Already, I'm very pleased with this. I mean, this was my attempt to re-create Pinky's design by @goosieboosie. I'm not a digital artist, so I couldn't capture all the majesty of this design perfectly, but I did a decent job. This style allows me to draw Pinky's face a lot easier, and I can get more creative with facial features. I was really happy when I finished this, I kinda freaked out because, he looks great!! I even drew my gender/sexuality headcanons for Pinky beside him, as well as his signature because, why not? I tried to re-draw this picture a few hours later and I made a new discovery:

Sorry for the blurry pic! But yeah, I think I invented my own unique style!! This is the first version of this; there a few changes from my first re-draw. The main changes are Pinky's eyes being rounder, and his ears a little bit larger. I think the base shape of his head is also a little different. I think he looks so derpy!! I was instantly in LOVE with this updated design, so I decided to draw it again and:

The design is a little different again! And also, my first expression!!!! (Ignore the weird as hell erased Pinky head you see; it was a massive failure and I couldn't erase it all :( ) I really think the Pinky on the left turned out better than I thought!! I love his cute little face and his extra floofy head. The second pic is another kind of model pic, but I added a little tongue because it looked cute. I also added the mind bubble and the little blurb just for added effect. I think he looks cute, what do you guys think?

On day three/attempt 3, I actually doodled a Pinky without looking at a reference in one of my books because I was in school. Here's how it turned out:

I LOVE IT!!!! I was so shocked when I finished with this because I think Pinky looks amazing!! It's not perfect, but when compared to day one, it's like night and day. This is my favorite Pinky I've done so far, and it only took my like 25 minutes; what an improvement when compared to over an hour just for one drawing lol! I've made some small changes here, and I will continue to make changes for the time being. I'm still finalizing my style.

Later on, I did something I'm very proud of:

My first full-body Pinky!! I drew the body first and then added a head in later. I also marked certain areas that I might improve upon later, and little personal touches that I added for fun. Yeah, I think his head is a little too tall, but I'll fix that. I implemented some unique elements such as his muzzle area being based on the OG show, the tufts of fur on his head being longer, the chest fur, his feet being stuffed-animal like, his short legs (which will probably be longer in the future), and his tail being from the reboot. I am currently working on hands; they're just not ready yet. I'm very excited to see my own personal style being formed. I like all the touches I added and I'm excited to maybe work on some screenshot re-draws and other things like that.

Here are some hand sketches. Hand are EXTREMELY HARD for me so I'm trying to get an idea of what I want to do. I was either thinking of the one on the left (larger fingers, rounder shapes) or the one on the right (more angular, slimmer fingers). Idk, which hand style do yo guys think would work better?

I'm very proud of the progression I made on these designs. I'm currently planning on drawing Brain very soon and I will be doing screenshot re-draws, experimenting with changes to eye shape, and more expressions. I'm also writing still (new fic currently a wip), and I'm very excited to be contributing more to the fandom!! Let me know where I can improve and some tips on how to draw their hands. Also, special thanks to @cosmicangel139 for the drawing tips for Brain!! You are amazing and I will definitely keep those tips in mind!!!!

#pinky and the brain #patb #patb fanart #pinky #love how he's coming along!! #time to do brain next wish me luck!! #the progress im making is nice #i could still use more tips #any help is appreciated :)

[trans-mephisto]

The somewhat popular theory that Lightning = Rin and why I personally don't buy it

(And my own theory)

So, quick disclaimer; this post isn't made with the intent of "ruining fun" or putting down other theorists in the fandom, but rather is simply me putting in my own two cents on a character. I'm very analytical and find this kind of thing fun! My essay is below the cut so I don't take up too much space in the fandom tag :]

Okay, starting with the reasons I really don't think Lewin is Rin from the future, which I've skimmed the manga to support my personal doubts.

First off, though they do share some similarities, Lewin and Rin still have distinct differences in their designs. One of the main things I took note of was the difference in their eye shapes. When his eyes are shown, Lightning has rounded eyes with small, thin irises, whereas Rin has angular eyes with larger irises. Examples below!

And these two images aren't far apart in chapters, so it's not anything like an art style change. Even so, eye shape is something that Kato doesn't really change drastically within her character designs.

Now, another thing is we actually see Lightning as a teenager during the whole flashback arc. He would be nineteen during this time, and we also have an image of Rin at eighteen (albeit in another timeline from the main one, but it generally doesn't matter). Though, again, kind of similar, there's still stark differences. The main ones again, being eye shape, Rin having round irises and Lewin having thin ones, and the fact Lewin is babyfaced compared to Rin having a slimmer face at nearly the same age.

Lastly, there's also their personalities. Lightning has always been mostly emotionless, intelligent, and analytical, whereas Rin at his core has always been very emotional, and no shade to Rin, has always been kind of stupid. Once again, they may have some similarities but their differences are more prevelant.

So, what gives? Who or what is Lewin?

Well, while thinking this over, I kind of stumbled across a character who I think is far more like Lightning personality-wise. Shiro Fujimoto.

There's many comparisons to be made between them, especially with younger Shiro. Perverted, tendencies towards violence, the fact they both generally don't seem to care till they're upset enough? Very similar. Although I definitely don't think they're one in the same, I do have suspicions that tie together as to why he's similar to Shiro, and to an extent, Rin and Yukio. And it's pretty simple.

They're related!

Now I don't mean anything like "Shiro's secret child" or "Rin or Yukio's child from the FUTURE" or anything like that, what I think is that he's simply the grandchild or a similar descendant to Azazel, and since Shiro was directly cloned from Azazel and Satan was also inhabiting an Azazel clone when Rin and Yukio were concieved, all the overlapping similarities make sense. And I have a TON of evidence to back this up.

First of all, Lewin has a very strong connection with demons to the point where it's often showed he has an easier time summoning them than any other tamer, even high-level entities.

For higher level demons, he doesn't have to finish the summon, and doesn't even need a verse in general for the low level demons.

Also, both these demon types are kin to Azazel.

Later on, we even learn that he has god-level demons (literally the gods of winds) as his familiars, and guess what? They're kin of Azazel.

So he has a very strong connection to Azazel's kin, and also Azazel himself.

During the Blue Night flashback, we see he was for some reason, a member of Azazel's group of Grigori represenatives.

Not just that, but he in general seems very close to Azazel. He mentions speaking to him, goes to visit him to calm down, calls him "old man" or "gramps", and when discovering Section 13's cloning secrets, at one point seems genuinely upset mentioning that the process of extracting Azazel's DNA probably led to his advanced crystalization. His soft spot for Azazel is obvious.

So in short, I do understand the connections Rin and Lewin share, and why it led to many people believing they were the same person. But after doing some digging, I believe the point was to hint at their relation and also draw parallels between his situation with Azazel and Rin's with Shiro.

Hope everyone enjoys reading my long-winded ramblings. :]

#meffy rambles #aoex #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #theory #aoex spoilers #lewin light #long post

[queerprayers]

Tw// ed mention

Johanna, I don't feel confident in my body as a butch and I'm not sure what to do... I feel so excited seeing other masc/butch/studs and they look so strong and cool, but working out often leads to a relapse for me. Ik butches come in all shapes & sizes but I still can't help feeling like I'm an 'ugly/bad' one. Do you have any advice? Or know any bible verses that might help?

Hello, beloved!

I know firsthand how painful self-image issues can be! I'm sorry you're struggling with this right now, and I hope I can be of help. I'm going to put some verses/reflections after a "keep reading" at the bottom, so I can quote things in full and not make this the longest post ever on people's dashes. :) Here are some thoughts:

You not working out sounds like an act of self-care and protection--honor that. That is a strength and I'm proud of you for knowing yourself. As someone who doesn't do much exercise because of fatigue/pain (and the potential of it leading similar places as you), I've had to find other ways to connect with my body. I obviously don't know your journey or what things are specifically triggering to you, but I've found a lot of joy in things like yoga, that don't have anything to do with numbers or looks. And besides those kind of practices, there's things like learning to bake or knit or really anything that has a physical element. Finding non-triggering ways to move and connect with your body is really valuable and I pray you can find that.

One of the pieces of advice that's most helped me is actually "fake it till you make it." Which I know sounds dumb and corny but I've turned it into a question: "What would I do/say/wear right now if I loved/cared about/valued myself?" And then I.... do/say/wear that. Not fake it as in lie to yourself, but fake it as in start creating a life in which you care for yourself now, if you don't feel good about yourself. Obviously easier said than done, but it's been such a great exercise. I spent many years saying "Okay, what would today look like if I cared about myself? I don't, not yet, but what would I do?" And the answer was that I would go outside, or take my meds, or stand up for myself, or wear funky lipstick. And slowly, somewhere along the way, I didn't have to fake it anymore. So much of self-confidence/acceptance for me has been about doing. Our relationship with ourselves fluctuates, and some days we just wake up and feel horrible about ourselves. But we can continue caring for ourselves through that, hoping that tomorrow will be different. And when tomorrow's different, future you will be glad you took care of yourself today.

You, as you are now, are worthy of care and cool outfits and love. Self-confidence is a lovely thing to have, and it can be a goal for all of us, but you are still whole and valuable without it. Maybe you can't be confident right now. It's hard but it's okay. What else are you? Creative? Kind? Determined? You don't have to like your body to live in/with it. A lot of people find body neutrality a more useful framework than body positivity for this reason. I don't always have to think I'm attractive/sexy/beautiful, I just live here. My body matters because it exists.

And try this on for size: What if you're ugly? That's a subjective word that I think is horrible to use about other people, but genuinely, like, let's say that was a thing. What would change? People I don't personally find attractive are still worthy of existence and love and identity. People who don't/can't fit standards of beauty are still people. I had to deconstruct my ideas of what it meant to be attractive before I could ever consider myself attractive. I'm sure you've met someone that you didn't find particularly attractive. Hopefully you just... treated them normally. What would that look like if you approached yourself that way, as just... a person?

As a femme, I promise I have loved and valued butches of all shapes and sizes. :) I've felt similar unworthy feelings looking up to other femmes, but part of figuring everything out has been finding where I exist and what inspiration I take from others, not how I can look exactly like them. I'm inspired every day by people of all presentations, and a lot of what I'm inspired by is just people being themselves! That excitement you feel seeing other people like you? Don't let that be because you hate who you are now. Try to let that be because you want to heal, because you want to exist peacefully with yourself. I would also bet that part of your excitement is self-identification. You see yourself in other butches--you see who you already are as well as who you want to become. Find community in others, not envy. Envy festers and turns to resentment. Community betters others as well as yourself. And I promise, the people you look up to have had to reckon with this, too. The buffest most handsome butch in the world has had to carve out a space for themselves, has had to work for their confidence, and sometimes looks in the mirror and doesn't like what they see.

Butchness/masculinity is so diverse and that's what I love about it! If you find yourself only looking up to a certain kind of a person, I would try widening your idea of masculinity/beauty. I've had to reckon with my own prejudice re: body types, and learned how much my self-hatred was just... not being comfortable with the idea of myself (and therefore other people) being fat. When all the people I envied/looked up to were the same body type, of course it did numbers on my self-esteem! There are other butches who have your body type, and I'm assuming you would never call them ugly or bad! See if you can let that respect you have for others exist for yourself as well.

I would also point that disability inherently challenges our standards of beauty. I don't know if you would use that term for yourself, but any kind of health issue, including a mental illness, changes how we physically exist. You may not be able to live up to a certain standard or physically exist in your ideal way because of your health/struggles/experiences. This is normal for everyone, but especially for anyone disabled/with ill health. Give yourself grace to rest and heal from what you've been through.

I promise you, whatever you look like, however you interact with masculinity and present, there are people who will value you, not despite those things, but because of them. I have always valued the strength of butches/mascs/studs--not in a "how much do they deadlift" way, but in a "wow, to exist in this world and embrace masculinity in a healthy way, to present every day in a body that is marginalized against and shamed, to carve out a subculture and style despite it all, takes so much f***ing strength!" That's the strength I see in my past partners and masc friends. You are strong, now. You are opening up and owning your identity and knowing your body/mind and continuing through pain. That's strong and also super cool!

But I understand: knowing things logically doesn't mean we feel them/believe them. We can learn as much as we want about diversity and different standards of beauty, but still feel horrible about ourselves. There's no easy way out of habits our brains get into. Let your knowledge/values and your personal feelings coexist. We're biased--we see our bodies every day at all their dirtiest most embarrassing moments. Our emotions change how we see ourselves. That's not inherently bad, it's just something to remember. I always look hotter when I've accomplished something. :) Our ideas about ourselves get reflected back at us. We must learn to let our feelings about ourselves fluctuate, while the knowledge of our value and the care we have for ourselves stays.

Existing peacefully with yourself doesn't happen overnight, and Bible verses don't fix you, but that's okay. You don't have to know what to do, you just have to start. And then you have to keep going, and it's hard, and sometimes relapse/self-hatred seems easier, but it isn't, really. Not in the long run. I'm glad I had to learn how to accept myself, had to work for this. I'm much stronger and more grateful. I'll pray for the same for you.

It's a journey, and societal prejudice complicates it, and health issues/past pain slow it down, and God is with you always, and I'm in your corner, and you got this.

<3 Johanna

Some verses for you! These words, passed down over millennia, aren't magical or a replacement for therapy, but they do matter. God wants us to have them. And they're honest: they're real people's thoughts on and descriptions of their life and God's existence.

Starting out basic: we're created in God's image, imago dei. This means something different to everyone, but for this conversation I will emphasize the line after this statement. Our physicality, our bodies, are included in this passage. I'm not making a statement about the number of genders that exist (God created light and dark and we still experience sunset; the creation myth utilizes dualities not to limit us but to be poetic, encompass diversity, and include extreme opposites; the myth was written by a culture with a certain understanding of gender/sex; etc. etc.) but to point out that we are created physically, deliberately, in the image of God. However our bodies exist, whatever they can achieve, however we're viewed by others, we exist in relation to, in honor of, and because of God. Male and female both embody the image of God in this passage. We are told specifically that different kinds of bodies are imago dei; "male and female" would have encompassed every human to the people writing/translating this passage, so in fact we're told that every body is. This means you too, beloved. Your body, your ability, your gender--they're God-given/embodied. Your body is how you exist on this earth, how you care for yourself and others, how other people recognize and imagine you. You are here physically to love and be loved, and God did that on purpose.

So God created mankind in his own image,

in the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:27

This verse is a bit overquoted, but for a reason, I think. This is an awesome verse. "Fearfully and wonderfully" is such a great line. But the lines after are just as important right now: the poet knows that what God made is wonderful, and therefore they have to include themselves. For our conversation: we know butches are diverse and strong and cool and wonderful. You are one too. We can't praise God's creation without honoring ourselves; we can't appreciate butches without including you.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

Also overquoted but still loved. In context, Samuel is finding the next king to anoint, and he's seeing some worthy-looking sons of Jesse, but God tells him to stop looking where people would look, to not choose based on appearance or height. This isn't really a story about looks--the chosen David isn't weird-looking or anything--but it does include this rebuke from God when Samuel starts thinking too much like a person, with societal prejudices and automatic assumptions. To me, this is a reminder of the God who sees. The God who knows who we are, even we can't find a way to express it to others. If your identity/characteristics aren't obvious from looking, or if people are prejudiced against how you look, God knows the truth. That doesn't automatically make it okay, but at the very least it means there's somewhere out there who sees.

"The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Samuel 16:7

If you want a stunning sermon on the second sentence here, Dr. King gave one. But for right now, I want to connect it to the preceding sentence. We should not conform to the pattern of this world in how we offer our bodies. We must be transformed, renewing our mind, existing in and using our bodies in ways holy and pleasing to God. King names this sentence's call to us to be a "transformed nonconformist." How can you transform your relationship with your body while not conforming? Existing as a butch, I would argue, inherently accomplishes that--so embrace it.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God--this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Romans 12:1-2

Okay, I genuinely wasn't expecting to find a Bible passage about how much working out matters in the long run, but what do you know. First we start with a reminder of appreciating God's creation, like in our psalm. And then we're reminded of what really matters. "Train yourself to be godly" is most definitely in the Instagram bios of multiple Christian gym bros, but I bet we can also take it seriously. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what really matters, of what will last. I'll be grateful in 50 years that I did some exercise, yes, but more than that, I'll be grateful that I was myself, that I loved openly. All of us (barring a tragic death) will grow weaker with age. This is a gift, to survive, to rest. What will we have then? And what will matter in the present life and the life to come? We are created in the image of God but we are not defined by our bodies.

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving . . . [T]rain yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

1 Timothy 4, 7-8

Okay, the famous verse, my body is a temple, we get it. Honestly, I can't even verify if Paul is talking about a person's body in this passage--he seems to be talking about a community rather than an individual. But nevertheless, whether personally or as a group, what does being a temple mean? This is temple not just in the sense of "this is where we worship God" or "this is a special place," but temple in the sense of "this is literally where God lives." Imago dei. We are God's temple because we embody God. What does that mean to you? How will you take care of yourself/speak to yourself with that knowledge?

Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in your midst?

1 Corinthians 3:16

That's what I got right now, beloved. Over and over, we are told we are beloved, including our physical bodies. Go forth and be the strong and cool butch you already are, and grow into confidence when you find it.

<3 Johanna (again)

#asks #edit: any butches in the notes pls feel free to share your experience/thoughts! i am a lover of/ally to butches #but obviously do not have that lived experience

[alittlefrenchtree]

Do you think Taylor's acting is good?

Omg i’ve been dying to answer to this question since I got it and I’m so happy to finally have the time.

I think it’s very interesting and layered so I’m going to try to be as coherent as possible.

For reference, I’ve watched, The Kissing Booth 2, The Kissing Booth 3, 1Up and of course, Red White and Royal Blue. I don’t plan to watch anything else from his past filmography but I’m looking forward for what the future brings for him.

Sooooo where to start? 

I met him with Alex, so let’s start with Alex. Unlike many, I was more pulled in and hooked by his performance than I was with Nick’s one. (Not saying Taylor’s better than Nick (nor the other way around), let me finish) 

I very much agree with Matthew (one thing we agree on at least 🤓) when he said that Taylor became Alex when Nick was carefully holding Henry and protecting him. Taylor was so organic as Alex I was almost immediately on board with him. For me, it was everything to do with the sincerity and heart with which he played him, rather than being an award worthy performance or not. It wasn’t perfect but it was perfectly Alex so it was good. And I suspect the very few of my issues with it would fall on the directing and the editing of it rather than Taylor’s work.

To touch a bit on the subject of Henry and Nick. I’ve danced around Nick’s performance a little bit more (with ups and downs) and I’m starting to understand that it was more because of who Henry is as a character and less about Nick’s acting. The performance is growing on me (Nick is also grown on me, so it also helps) and I have good hope that, if when we get a sequel, it would be even better on my side.

Getting to know a bit more of Taylor after that, I wondered if, the reason why he was such a good Alex was because Alex was mainly… Taylor with a few additions. Part of that is true and even if it doesn’t made the job particularly easier, it still asks questions of his ability to play someone who isn’t him at all (even if imo everyone can find an angle to every character but it’s another debate for another time). But there are few details in his performance as Alex that gives a lot of hope about his ability to be subtle about things. Like Taylor and Alex have the same kind of energy but he has adjusted it to feel more young than his own. They’re both confident but in very different ways. So even the things that are him, he has shaped them to be right for Alex. 

Outside of Alex, I actually like him in TKB2 and TKB3. It helps that the main couple of the movie is so dumb and nobody is actually rooting for them but it was really easy to take Marco side (his character introduction was the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in a long time) and Taylor was a good Marco. But it’s kind of hard to see if an actor is good with a role like Marco. You can see if someone is bad (so you can see Taylor isn’t) but it’s hard to see how good he can be.

1UP was basically useless, so we can’t say anything about that. I hadn’t even planned to watched it but it was about esport (or at least it tried to be about esport) so it got me extra curious but it has nothing in it so 😂 Taylor was brought there to be gorgeous and intolerable and he was gorgeous and intolerable so job done I guess? 

All of that being said, I think the most important part of his answer is that Taylor is just starting. He has just started and he has so little worthy to be judged on, it’s almost too early to answer the question. Like I was saying in a previous ask, a lot of how he’s going to develop as an actor will be up to the people (directors, mostly) he’ll be working with and I’m impatient to see the choices he’ll make.

Thank you so much for asking this question, I had a good time digging into my thought about this :) 💜

#alft asks #taylor zakhar perez #tzp

[qqueenofhades]

Supposed Leftists cannibalizing themselves instead of aiming their fangs at the right wing frankly just makes me think they harm out of fear towards an evil they see as too powerful to fight against, and thus turn against people they see as easier and weaker to hurt, even if it's their own side.

It's entirely possible. As I have said in all my other posts, there are a lot of contributing factors. What I really want to know, however, is when the bulk of leftist political critique switched to "hysterical, nonsensical, personal slanders coupled with unprovable and inaccurate broad-brush generalizations designed to make the Democrats look as bad as possible." Truly, there's a way to criticize your allies accurately and helpfully without just giving into Cloud Cuckoo Leftist Land, but that doesn't play as well in the distorted environment of social media, where pithy one-liners and out-of-context quotes go viral faster and reaffirm one's own sense of superior morality. But it does nothing, and doesn't address anything that's wrong. It sure as hell makes them worse, though.

Like. Here's food for thought: I personally feel that at least thus far (although it's already showing signs of changing, because y'know Democrats LISTEN TO SUGGESTIONS and alter their behavior accordingly), Joe Biden himself has MASSIVELY misjudged his personal, initial response to the situation. He gave a speech which was nice and said the right things, but mainly contained boilerplate platitudes with very few actual policy specifications as to things he personally, as chief executive, would order done, aside from promising a vague "whole of government" response. And even that is not to say that nothing was done; it was just that Biden himself, as the president and most visible Democratic elected leader, missed a critical moment to assertively seize hold of the discussion and shape it accordingly. The next raft of headlines we got were all about things Biden DIDN'T want to do: he opposed ending the filibuster to codify Roe, he didn't want to expand the court, he didn't want to order federal buildings in red states to provide abortion services, he didn't want to circumvent the Hyde Amendment, etc etc etc. This was because, apparently, Biden and his top policy advisors feared that this was "too polarizing" and drastic a response, and might undermine public confidence in institutions such as, whaddya know, SCOTUS.

This is because Biden is an old-school politician who has spent his entire career working within the usual confines of American democratic institutions, and his first instinct is still to trust them and think that they will operate as designed. The fact that they've completely gone off the rails, and that SCOTUS has been hijacked with extremists, is still a difficult thing for him to understand, and he's tending to underwhelming and insufficient responses as a result. However, a) SCOTUS has already lost legitimacy in the public's eyes (barely one-third of Americans trust it -- I think the exact number was like 37% at last polling, but I can't be sure) and b) ABORTION IS NOT A FRINGE ISSUE! Biden likewise has spent his career in the "don't discuss abortion" nineties-Democrat mindset, where it wasn't really a winning issue and the talking point was that abortions should be "safe, legal, and rare." But SIXTY PERCENT OF ALL AMERICANS oppose overturning Roe, including 67% of women. This is not something that Biden needs to tiptoe around. He needs to seize that ready-made bulwark of support and show that he is ready to lead on the issue, rather than be dragged along by progressive female Democrats.

Likewise, there were reports that Biden has nominated an anti-abortion lawyer for a federal judgeship in Kentucky, apparently as part of a deal with McConnell to get him to drop GOP opposition to future administrative and judicial nominees. The timing on this was terrible, the optics were equally bad, and he got (somewhat deservedly) bashed for it. However, Biden has already gotten a huge amount of incredibly diverse and progressive judicial nominees confirmed and seated, since he learned from the mistakes of the Obama years and Rahm "I don't give a shit about judges" Emanuel. Likewise, the absolute dregs of the Republican Senate, aka Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, have been auto-blocking every single one of Biden's lower-level appointees, including hundreds of Department of State and Defense employees and other critical government-functionary posts. They have no reason to do this aside from being performative asswipes who want to show that they're not cooperating with anything Biden wants to do, no matter how small. It has already caused difficulties in things like, say, responding to the Ukraine war and other foreign-policy issues where Biden is enjoying some success, such as his drive to reunite and expand NATO (now that Sweden and Finland are almost certain to join).

That being the case, a single district judge in Kentucky is unlikely to do MORE damage to abortion rights in this country than, you know, the fucking entire Supreme Court already did, and while I still don't agree with it (or the timing of it), the fact remains that there is more context for this action than just BIDEN SECRETLY HATES ABORTION AND IS A SENILE HYPOCRITE!!! This is still ultimately reflective on Mitch Fucking McConnell and the moral slime of the GOP caucus: rather than letting the president do his job and fill the ordinary foreign-service and civil servant posts and other completely uncontroversial, non-political appointments, you extort, threaten, and hold them all hostage until the president finally agrees to nominate an anti-abortion judge in your home state, which already has a trigger law that automatically kicked in at the overturn of Roe (though another judge has issued a temporary stay for the time being). And if Senate Democrats fight back and refuse to vote for this asshole, which would be nice if probably not on the cards since it would make McConnell et al even more vindictive, he doesn't get seated anyway!

Anyway, the headline this morning was that Biden is now in favor of getting rid of the filibuster at least in the case of a reproductive-rights carve-out, and 34 Senate Democrats (at last count) are pushing him to make a much more forceful personal response, including the issuance of an executive order or other policy steps. That is the vast majority of the Senate Democratic caucus, and highlights the (gasp, shocking) fact that "the Democrats" aren't a single monolithic entity with a single monolithic policy. Even if Biden himself failed hard at the first hurdle, the Congressional caucus clearly recognizes that there is a serious groundswell of public anger that needs to be responded to, and "vote in November" and tweeting boilerplate platitudes about respecting women's bodily autonomy doesn't cut it as an actual solution. They're also campaigning on this issue, yes, which is the sensible thing to do. But again, there is more to it than that.

In sum: my point is, see what I did here? I criticized Biden for things that were actually his fault and which he could take action to remedy, rather than yelling overheated nonsense about how he's a senile rapist scum of the earth secret Republican etc etc, insisting that "both parties were the same," and blaming the Democrats (and only the Democrats) for the initial action to overturn Roe in the first place. I recognized that different groups of Democrats had made different responses, and placed Biden's own actions in the context of his overall political career, which includes recognizing that an octogenarian centrist Catholic has consistently been so legislatively supportive of abortion and women's rights that it's repeatedly gotten him into trouble with ultra-partisan American Catholic bishops. He also trusts too much in American institutions and can't fully grasp the fact of how badly they have been damaged, hijacked, and already lost public confidence, which limits the range of options that he's willing to consider in response. However, he has showed the ability to listen to criticism from inside his own party and to adjust his thinking, so... that's already far more than a Republican would ever do.

Anyway. Yes. My point here is: You can absolutely criticize Democrats in extensive, constructive, and accurate ways that don't rely on baseless vitriol, social media clout-chasing, and personal insults, and aren't designed to just make yourself, the brave Twitter Keyboard Warrior, look even more Moral in response. However, a lot of them have totally lost the ability to do that, and seem to think that the best political argument is one that rips your actual political allies to shreds as much as possible. Which is, to say the least, unfortunate.

#anonymous #ask #politics for ts

[clemencetaught]

I wasn't sure if y'wanted them sent in today or tomorrow, BUT TO NOT MESS UP-- (you mentioned answering ic in the tags so yeeting these directly at Patrick >:3 sorry if they're too many omg)

Patrick (any verse)

What does it feel like when others depend on you, in one way or another?

Are you more prone to assuming someone needs you (in a service kind of way, for aid, for support-) or more likely to think they don't?

If psychics were 120% reliable and you could connect to those long gone… would you?

In which contexts are you more 'do as I say not as I do' and in which will you listen to your own advice?

Do you ever catch yourself growing… a little bitter, maybe, at people describing their comparatively 'mundane' problems? Is it envy?

Do you believe children should be shaped for the likeliest future or the future should be shaped for the children to come?

When is self-sacrifice acceptable?

When is hurting those you love acceptable?

in which the 54th victor of the hunger games gives an impromptu interview ( nosy questions for the birthday enby w/ @mythvoiced )

The tea cup is set on the saucer. Discreetly, Patrick slides his other hand into his pocket, where the synthetic patch on his palm wraps around his pocket knife– a habit of sorts, since he won his games. His pocket watch sits on the table, next to the saucier and on his lap, Sun has wrapped herself into a ball, her paws disappearing into the mass of orange fur. On the balcony outside his apartment in the Capitol, this is the only place Patrick knows he will be granted a modicum of privacy in the viper’s nest. 

The shadow of the balcony covers the upper half of his body. Sun keeps dozing on his lap, in the sun. 

Most times, when the questions are directed at him, they’re expecting an affirmative. Doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a District person or a Capitolite– they go to him for answers, first and foremost. And in the case of the latter, these questions are not questions so much as veiled demands. 

Ones that he must always accommodate, regardless of the nature of the demand. 

But these questions, this voice, is…well they seem genuinely curious. And the questions they’ve lobbed his way, they don’t seem to be expecting one correct answer.

Sun shifts on his lap. His leg vibrates from her purring. Patrick sighs, leaning back on his chair. “That…quite a lot of thoughts you have going on there, hm?” The knife stays in his pocket as he gently scratches the top of Sun’s head. “I’ll answer your second question first: people will always look out for themselves first. If they don’t think you’re useful, that you can contribute something good to their lives, then you’re dead to them, if they don’t kill you first. Make yourself indispensable to them and they won’t hurt you.” At least that’s what he tells himself– it’s easier to simply assume anyone who approaches him that they want something he can give them. “The younger victors will need someone to guide them anyway.” 

And even the ones who vehemently deny needing someone, anyone. Patience is always key in those instances– from Taiyang whom it took almost six years and his tribute’s sanity to finally approach Patrick to María, who still slaps away any hands offered, friend or foe. Ironically, he had to approach her first.  

“…I suppose I don’t think too much about that. If someone was asking for your help, you would be more caught up in what they’re asking, more than how you were feeling no?” A Trojan horse, he’s lobbed in their direction although he’s quick to revise: “...It scares me sometimes.” He confides, fingers pausing in their administrations on Sun’s head. Actually it scares him, a lot. “They’re…they’re relying on me to guide them to the best outcome and I want the same thing for them. I promise you, I really, truly do.” Whether it’s Hyuk, Devora, a tribute he’s been assigned to mentor, or any of the victors. And sometimes even the furball in his lap and yet– “But I…I can’t always guarantee that. But they still trust me, especially the younger ones.” The tributes from District Three– his tributes, the ones who take his hand, look up at him with wide eyes, clinging to every word, every gesture he makes as it will guarantee their survival. “Sometimes I think it would be better if they exercised more caution with me.”   

A smile, bittersweet, if not actually just bitter, graces his lips. He shakes his head though, chuckling at the next question. “...Forgive me, that’s quite a question you have there. ‘Psychics’... I don’t believe that’s information that just anyone, district or Capitol, can get ahold of–  although I have heard of some old religions still practiced in the districts so I suppose the knowledge and belief in such mediums is possible to get ahold of.” He stares down at his tea, the steam still rising. Even if it is a hypothetical question on a medium known to be more shoddy than reputable, he can’t help but pause. If they could contact those ‘long gone’; would that mean, if he asked them to, would he be able to speak to her one last time–

He shakes his head, eye catching his pocket watch, metal beaten and faded, the clock face wearing a crack down the right side. Still, it shimmers in the sunlight. “Even if I could, I…I highly doubt she would want to talk to me of all people.” If they hadn’t met, if they hadn’t fallen in love, she probably would still be alive. Tellessa’s family too. 

After all, he was the first person outside of Tellessa who knew about her forbidden books. “Wherever they are, it’s probably better than here.” Or at least he hopes it is for her. A place where life doesn’t have to be perfect, but it is…easier. A place for souls to rest at long last. If such a place even exists in the first place. He picks up his saucer once more, still careful not to jostle Sun on his legs. She’s taken to loafing now– he knows her eyes are closed even if her head dips every few seconds. But make no mistake, that does not mean she is unaware. Trusting of the one asking the questions. If it was just him, she would be stretched out, a white underbelly waiting for his hand to scratch kindly at the ceiling.

Perhaps the saying is true after all: like owner, like pet. Although Patrick would argue she’s more like Hyuk if anything.

“It depends on the circumstances,” he says as neutrally as possible. A vague answer for a hypothetical question, because that is truly it. “I suppose if one’s life was on the line, it would be better if they followed my lead, no?” 

Not that that’s stopped, those with rebellious tendencies from committing treason anyways. ( And unfortunately, he can name more than one. ) It is ironic in that manner– for someone who knows the system, knows how to work within the rules all, has spent years perfecting his craft in survival arts, it would make more sense to invest on those with similar goals. And yet here he is, worrying about the ones who are decided not interested in survival and therefore would spurn his advice at any given moments. “Not that…that following my advice has ever helped them make it through.” 

(His tributes. All thirty nine of them. No two games are ever the same, the gamemakers would never allow that. If the circus known as the Hungers Games must be reborn over and over again if it wishes to continue.)

He takes a sip of his tea, washing down the momentary displeasure. Or at least he thinks it will be only a moment long. “I suppose what a Capitol citizen would consider a ‘mundane issue’, as you put it, would differ from those of someone from the districts. The former does seem more inclined towards complaining if only to build comradery amongst one another. I’m just glad that they have such means to…channel their frustrations.” 

( It’s in times like those, where he wishes his temper could curdle, the way Devora’s does in the face of the Capitol Elite. How he wishes he could simply let her use the knife to silence those idle complaints. )

Patrick takes another sip of his tea. It burns in his throat. It’s bitter too– he must have let the leaves seep for too long. But the asperity doesn’t just settle on his tongue. “Are we talking about an ideal world or the one we live in now? Depending on who you ask this question to, you’re guaranteed to get quite…different answers.” A smile, as frigid as the shaved ice the Capitol serves as a delicacy during the games, crosses his lips. “Our great nation was built to provide safety and prosperity for the children. To serve them. Although whether the truth is actually the other way around will again, depend on who you ask. As a mentor to my tributes, I suppose…we can’t deny the reality in front of us, no?”

Sun yawns. He puts his tea down and idly, he scratches the underside of her chin and he feels her purring against his finger. “Are you sure you should be asking me that question? I would think there are more…suitable candidates for this question.” People like Hyuk, he means. People like María– the kinds who would gladly make sacrifices, give pieces of themselves for a cause. “Self-sacrifice won’t get you where you need to be– there’s a reason martyrs are only known after their death– they’re even given a chance to be known. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. They’re only deluding themselves into believing they can make everything better. A…colleague of mine said it best: ‘a martyr works, a survivor works better’. If you want to truly help the ones around you, self-sacrifice will only get you so far.”

Or so Patrick claims. He can hear it though– the sound of Hyuk shouting at him to stop lying. The truth is, self-sacrifice, if it is for a tangible reason, is…well maybe it is not worthwhile, but it can be certainly respected, especially if this tangible reason is a human life. The Capitol will always wonder what spurred Patrick to hold his district partner’s hand even if it burned a hole through his skin, will always wonder why Taiyang insisted on protecting Link in the arena, will always wonder why, why, why would Devora so willingly serve as President Snow’s puppet even if it further severs her ties to the districts despite everything the games took from her.

They would never understand compassion in a dog-eat-dog world– self sacrifice.

“...However, I suppose, if there was truly a good reason to do so…well, I have yet to see it.”

( Like the promise of a better world. If there is even one that exists. )

His hand stops. Sun turns her head towards him, copper eyes watching him. “When do we not hurt the ones we love?” Perhaps the better question for him is: when is he not hurting the ones he loves? He saw it in her eyes and Hyuk’s too. And yet they forgave him, somehow, every time. If not for that, well…would there even be a reason to keep going? “That’s part of caring for someone, no? You are preparing for them to hurt you without retaliation.” He shakes his head, snorting. “I think the answer should be obvious, if it guarantees their well-being in the long run, I think that is a gamble to be considered. That being said–” 

Sun jumps off his lap and stretches, paws facing this curious passerby. Patrick crosses his legs, hands resting on his lap. A veneer, similar to the one he dons in the Capitol flashes through, even if he is not currently in his usual suit. “You wouldn’t want to be close with someone like me. I’ve been known to have…a reputation of sorts. One of burning and you could…no, you would most definitely get hurt, one way or another and we wouldn’t want that happening, no? Just a thought for you to consider.”

He watches Sun make her way to the sliding glass door in the shade. Her tails whips side to side as she looks up at the handle. Then she looks at him and meows. 

Patrick glances at his pocket watch. “It’s feeding time for Sun.” Well, sort of– it’s more like it’s half an hour before her feeding time, but he knows gets antsy the closer meal time gets around. But this person doesn’t have to know that. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking care of business now. If you need anything more, you know where to find me.”

Or better yet, he’ll know where to find them.

#long post cw #mythvoiced #the victor ( answered. ) #the victor ( verse three. ) #hahahahahahahahaha i asked for this and LENLEN DELIVERED :'DDDD #over 2k words....and it took three days for me to write and i wasn't allowed to stop...... #lenlen i love you....and this also killed me jc he REALLY TOOK THE REINS :'DD #and said 'this is my show now ferre you have no say in this.' #and i was compelled to go along :'DDDD #and he didn't even directly answer some of these questions i'm so sorry lenlen...u won't get a straight answer out of him #especially not in this verse </3 #i think i managed to name drop most ppl's muses in this too?? :DD #BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THESE MY DEAR FRIEND MY WISH WAS GRANTED #i had a lot of fun writing this even tho i died somewhere in the middle :'D #so uh enjoy the philosophy and the hypocrisy and the sads(tm) of all of this?? ( and his cat too <3 ) #JFKLSDJFKLSDJ ONLY THIS ONE CAN FORCE ME TO WRITE 2K FOR HIM AND HIM ALONE :'DDDD

[amunyan]

The end is near. The first of four possible endings to this little DIY FF 🤩🤯

In this last part of chapter 6, one of the storylines comes to an (bad) end... Even though it will be sad, I hope you enjoy reading it... 🤗

Love me, not him  - Part6E

Your choice was made; you had to take responsibility for your actions. For being so greedy for attention and love. For choosing Mereoleona over her brother and ignoring your feelings for him. And now you're even hurting her, because you can't return those feelings...

„Great job, (Y/N),“ you congratulated yourself. „What was wrong with you? Why did you do that?“ The voice in your head shouted in annoyance. „I didn't even drink that much to lose control. Why am I so needy? And why did it have to be his sister? It just makes things worse...“ You were on the verge of tears as you walked down the corridors. Still asking yourself why you had done such a thing.

Were you afraid Fuegoleon would never wake up? Or that you wouldn't be able to tell him how you really felt about the two of you? The fact that Mereoleona confessed to you makes things a lot easier - doesn't it? Or was it the fear of being left alone? Not being able to archive love in your life?

 It was late in the afternoon; the other members of the Order were out training and on some simple missions. So you had plenty of time to say your final goodbyes. But even though your decision had been made and you thought you had no choice, your steps were slow and ponderous. As if your body resisted your decision. Nevertheless, you walked purposefully towards Fuegoleon's room.

You slipped quietly into his room and placed your large, heavy backpack - you had already packed all your essentials to leave after your last visit - in a corner near the door. Then you picked up a chair and lifted it over to Fuegoleon's bed.

You slowly sat down and stared at Fuegoleon's motionless body. It had been a long time since you had been here. Mainly because you couldn't bear the sight of the injured Capitan, just like now. With a stifled sob, you looked away.

„It still feels so unreal. I can hardly look at him. But somehow I'm glad he's asleep. Then he won't have to see me in such an awful shape.“ A tear ran down your face and you quickly wiped it away with the back of your hand. „I really am a crybaby.“

After a few deep breaths, you seemed to calm down. It was strange. All you ever wanted was to be by Fuegoleon's side. You wanted him to be happy, to smile. But most of all, you wanted to be seen by him.

„And now? I'm glad he doesn't see me. He will... never see me again. I will never see him again...“ you thought. „That's so stupid. Especially because I was the one who didn't realise how much he saw me.  He supported me unconditionally. He always gave me the courage I needed, but I could never accept it. Probably because I never understood.”

Memories of your time together came flooding back.

Fuegoleon had caught your interest at first sight. With his long, auburn hair, he was a handsome young man and very popular with the ladies. Always friendly and polite. But you also knew that he would be the next captain after his father. So he was out of your league. On top of that you were about to lose your job. In other words, you were the exact opposite of him.

It was around this time that the two of you were paired up for your first mission together. But he didn't seem to mind at all. He complimented you on your work during the mission. He even intervened to save you from danger, which was actually your fault in the first place...

„Thanks to you, I was able to unlock a new spell... A new spell that saved us both.  What's more, you even stood up for me against the former captain, even though I had put us in danger.”

The moment he stood up for you was the moment you really started to feel something for him. Slowly but surely, your heart began to burn for the young future captain. You even began to hope that he liked you too. The two of you went on many missions together after that. Become close friends. Perhaps even more without realizing it…

Nevertheless, there was this one mocking question in your head: Why did you get involved with his sister? Did it bother you so much that Fuegoleon and you were just sort of close friends? That he never seemed to see the two of you as more than friends? But it was also hard for you to imagine that he would open up to you and show you his feelings - if there were any - at all.

„He was so damn nervous when he asked me for help with the office...” This was shortly after he had taken over the Order. Even though you were just sorting through a huge pile of documents that night, you always remembered it fondly.

„But maybe... he was nervous because he...“ Your cheeks flushed at the thought that his nervousness might be because he felt more for you than friendship. But as quickly as you had formed the thought, you buried it. Even though now was the time to cry over missed opportunities. It would hurt too much to admit these thoughts.

You only wonder how long he could have carried these feelings for you. For you; your feelings have never really changed since back then. They just grow with time, and in that one night, you fell in love with his soft and clumsy side, which he only showed towards you. In public, he seemed completely different. But the way he treated people with respect, no matter where they came from, was also a side of Fuegoleon that you had always admired so much.

But his sister Mereoleona was another story. Loud, rude and wearing her heart on her sleeve, she always said what was on her mind. Quite frightening at times.  But also, like her brother; fair. She never judged you or any other person because of where they came from... She believed in you and showed her affection openly.

„Was that it? Was I really that desperate to get acknowledged? Acknowledgement that Fuegoleon had never given to me. Or at least; not the way I wanted it...“

You let out a deep sigh. Now it was clear to you that he had some kind of recognition for you. In his own way. You, who always wanted to be the woman at his side, but were far too shy and consumed by self-doubt, were actually ignoring him. In fact, because you were so desperate to be seen by him, you overlooked him.

„I'm such a dummy girl. If you don't talk to me like Mereo did and tell me what's going on, I won't understand. But Fuegoleon has always made it clear to me, in his own way, how important I am to him and how much he values me. He didn't just trust me during the first mission, despite my many, many failures before. He trusted me afterwards, even though I had put him in danger. I was the one he asked for help with the office work. No one else. He showed me his vulnerable side. He trusted me and made me his closest confidant. He was always by my side and I by his. I already had everything I wanted. Just because I didn't see it, didn't understand it, I ruined my happiness and my life.”

A tear ran down your nose and dripped from the tip of your nose onto your hands. Then another one. And another. Finally, almost a whole waterfall under your quiet sobs. „Yes... I just didn't… didn't understand him. Wanted him to return my feelings. I wanted him to return my feelings. That's probably why I let myself be influenced by Mereoleona, because she gave me what I wanted...“

Your hands were shaking. They made it difficult for you to untie your cloak. Even the urge to wipe away your tears was gone. When you had opened your cloak, you laid it over the back of the chair, still whimpering softly with a trembling lower lip. It was not only your final farewell to Fuegoleon. It was also a sign that you were leaving the Order for good. A place that had become quite close to you after the long time and the many years you had spent here. The scarlet cloak was also a faithful companion. It showed everyone that you belonged to the Knights of the Crimson Lions. But not anymore…

„I'm so sorry, Fuegoleon,“ you whispered as you stood over him. You fought the urge to kiss him goodbye. But you resisted. It would have been shameless.

„I wish you could forgive me one day. But I can't even forgive myself. So please... Even though this wish is harsh and selfish... Just forget about me.”

 

Bad End - Epilog;

The sun was about to set, and as you looked back one last time. You could see the beautiful colours of the dusk. It painted the Order's building a deep red.

You let out a deep sigh and a sad smile formed on your lips. „If the situation was different, the view would be much nicer...“

In the short time you were standing there, staring into the twilight, you heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind.

„(Y/N)!!!“ That was Leo's voice. He was completely out of breath. It was obvious that he had run all the way up to you.  „I'm glad I caught you. What are you doing? Where are you going?“ His voice was shaking. He looked at you with his eyes half open, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Showing you his young forehead in a furrow. Swallowing, he asked nervously: „Is this your cloak?“ He held it out to you. „I found it in my brother's room.“

„Yes,“ you replied briefly.

„But why did you put it there? Are you leaving us without a word? “

You looked away in shame. Your lips were pressed together as if you had to stop yourself from apologizing.

„Have you been mocked again?” He raised his voice. „Come with me, if you have a problem, even with my big sister, we can talk about it. I'll be with you!“ Leo grabbed your hand. He was still hoping to convince you to come back. „I'm sure there's a solution.“

But you did not move, for the boy was about to return to the Order with you.

You could see Leo's hope burst like a soap bubble as he froze for seconds.

Slowly, still with a look of disbelief on his face, unable to accept that this was the final goodbye, he turned around. „(Y/N)...?“

You looked at him with big, sad eyes. Then you slowly shook your head. „I'm sorry, Leo. I can't come back. Even though the Order has become my home. Even though I love you and your older siblings so much.

„Yes, you can!“ Tears welled up in his eyes. His body shook slightly.  „If there's a problem, come back and we talk it out together. We can...“

„We can't do this anymore,“ you said in a hushed voice. Truly broken. „I'm leaving the Order because I've let them both down...“

#black clover #creative wrting #x reader #fuegoleon vermillion #x fem!reader #leopold vermillion #sad ending

[eyesoverinfinity]

Different, yet the same au

this is an au where the survivors are all inhuman shape shifters but think everyone else is human and are trying to hide their inhumanness.

They are why the uncanny valley exists, they hunt humans by using what's called aggressive mimicry, essentially pretending to be a human to get close to one. Like the ant mimic spider, they act and look like humans then lure one away from the group and eat them.

But then civilisations began to make mass amounts of food and so it because easier to just steal from them. they still eat humans occasionally, for health reasons.

More under the cut:

They used to hunt in large packs, but has humanity got more and more aware of their surroundings, it became harder to find people of their own species without getting caught themselves.

When the age of the internet appeared they went from near threatened (A near threatened species is one that is likely to qualify for a threatened category in the near future.) to Endangered (less than 250 mature individuals in the wild, or in this case, worldwide.) in the last 30 years.

They're only saving grace was that humans forgot about them. Mostly...

So many have never met others not of they're family group that most colonies assume that they are the last ones. Nick barley even HAD a colony.

That's where the government comes in, they have secret files on these guys, and believe that there is a lot more of them then there actually is.

They have killed colonies before, framing them as cults or kidnappers (which to be fair they do do that.) Including Nick's colony. But as long as the shapeshifters look like humans, they will never be weeded out by humans.

So the government develops a flu like sickness that will ignore humans and target the shifters directly. Because this isn't my mimic infected au I think you can guess how this goes.

The virus, that only had shape-shifter DNA that was in storage for 20 years to go off of mind you, imminently jumps to humans because there are far more of them and they made it WAY too volatile.

The original idea was to make a virus that spread so quick the predators would die without any survivors and the virus would fizzle out without new hosts. Now they had the opposite of what they wanted. A just as deadly virus that targets humans instead and makes them attack each other.

Of course the shifters don't know this, all they know is that there is a zombie virus and a rampant military and they are stuck in the middle.

They eventually figure it out that they're all the same species, one group before the other (but I won't tell you who yet >=) Until then, this will be the hijinks that come from hiding inhumanness from other non humans.

Here's the logo:

#left 4 dead 2 #left 4 dead #l4d louis #l4d2 ellis #l4d2 Rochelle #coach l4d2 #l4d bill #nick l4d2 #l4d zoey #l4d francis #l4d au #l4d2 au #Different yet the same au #au april