#why is my life so hard | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuckinapril · 4 months

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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

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tubbytarchia · 5 months

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I'm bloody and sweaty and still don't know how to scale people!!!! But I'm done drawing all the lifers so now I have a reference for animation as needed wahoo!! Also boss mobs because I'll need them too

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7amaspayrollmanager · 6 months

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Alright let's imagine a scene that is all too normal in palestine. A palestinian business owner finds his building covered in graffiti stars of Davids and Hebrew that says "gas the arabs" and "death to arabs"

Now imagine there's a reporter there and asks the palestinian business owner what happens and they say "the jews attacked my business"

Pause. Now your response might be "uncle no. Say israelis not jews" and then this is when he would look at you like youre stupid because the israelis doing this are jewish. They are not the Christians or the druze or the palestinian ones with Israeli citizenship. They are Jewish israelis who believe in their religious supremacy. When you graffiti stars of david all over a palestinian business, car, or the street you seek that conflation. it sends a message, this is jewish land and you're next.

The problem is that these videos circulate in zionist circles. "Watch this video of children in gaza calling for the death of jews" "watch how they say they want to fight and kill jews" those children are referring to Israeli soldiers that come in night and do their raids with the star of David attached to their uniform or the ones that bomb them. It's easy to watch those videos and assume that palestinians are indoctrinating their children on anti semitism or you can realize that those children's only interaction with jewish ppl is through violence and parents cannot protect their children from this. Doesn't matter context is lost

Abby Martin went to Jerusalem and interviewed israelis for 2 hours and she says every israeli was extremely confident to say that this land is for them and that they should push the Arabs out and when she interviewed palestinians they spoke of freedom from occupation and their dreams. That's reality. Not the soundbites.

And yet we have invasive youtubers and interviewers constantly in the street of ramallah or wherever in palestine asking palestinians "do you hate jews?" And in those videos you hear those palestinians say "no we have no problem with jews we have a problem with occupation and we have a problem with zionism." Bc this is how we are trained to respond to this trope. Palestinians are very aware what the world thinks of us and the reality is that many palestinians have internalized it and we grow up reading books on the Holocaust and train ourselves to recognize anti semitic dog whistles so zionists don't get the soundbites they want.

So we say "anti zionism is not anti semitism" and we say "israeli zionists" and we do not say "jewish supremacy" even thought it exists in palestine but "zionist supremacy" and in these carefully worded speech we water down what is happening to us in an effort to not deter people away from solidarity. But it means nothing. The world categorically blames palestinians for rising anti semitism they blame us for jewish insecurity globally.

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roach-works · 27 days

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ok im waffling on about fallout instead of having breakfast but i saw a criticism of how the prisoners were treated that's stuck with me.

spoilers!

so i think the criticism wasn't incorrect, per se: it condemned the way the show portrayed the vault dweller's naive intention to rehabilitate their murderous captives. it found fault with a common, and horrible, message that tv shows like to say, which is that carcerial violence and even the death penalty is the only effective way to deal with criminals, who are a fundamentally Bad category of human. im sick of that message too! but i think that wasn't what was going on here, actually.

so like, the vault dwellers had only ever experienced violent loss the once, and didn't really know how to cope other than denial and repression of the ordeal. but they were all hopeful and enthusiastic that their prisoners, the invaders that came to kill them all and take their stuff, could be eventually welcomed into the community as their comrades. the champions of this cause were nebbishy dorks and painfully out of touch academics. this is pretty normal for how prison reformers are portrayed, if extremely fucking annoying for those of us who ARE in favor of prison reform.

but so of course when the son of the former overseer, Norm, speaks up and suggests killing the prisoners, because why should they share resources with invaders who explicitly wanted to keep hurting them? why should they show mercy to their attackers? everyone is appalled by this suggestion. because they had to reinvent the whole concept of vengeance right then and there, because grudges and cycles of violence are anathema to a bottle society like theirs. they have been raised all their lives to forgive and forget and now, put to the test, they're recommitting to this ethos: get along, let the past go, look towards the future, believe the best of everyone.

but the prisoners die, anyway. the prisoners are killed with rat poison. and the thing is that Norm who suggested it didn't do it himself. and the prison guard who's blamed for it, even though she privately agreed with Norm that the prisoners are dangerous and unforgiveable, she didn't do it either. it's not a moment of triumphant, cathartic vengeance and it doesn't prove that there's no way to negotiate with terrorists and invaders but kill them like vermin because that's not what the message is meant to be.

the message is that norm stands there in the middle of these inconvenient prisoners, these corpses dressed in his own people's uniforms, and he looks at the new overseer. and he knows that she killed them, and she knows that he knows. she wanted him to know. this is her message and he's reading her loud and clear. and he doesn't look like a guy who's just been backed up by authority, who's just been validated in his desire for the ultimate control over those who have wronged him.

he's scared and pale and the music is ominous as fuck. and he's inside the cell, he's directly in the middle of it.

because what just happened is that he realized his entire society is being held prisoner, and the overseer is the one with the rat poison. and that he doesn't know, anymore, what freedom and safety and justice actually mean, just that he doesn't have them and he doesn't know where to find them.

that's what that scene meant. not that rehabilitative justice is a pathetic delusion of people who have no idea how to make hard choices.

but that before you advocate for killing prisoners, you might want to see how big that prison is, first.

and which side of the bars you're standing on.

#fallout #look i went NUTS over the prison scene #it's gonna live in my brain for a good long while #RATS ARE A BIG THEME IN THIS SHOW #the rats that are vermin and the rats that are lab subject #both disposable #both struggling so hard to survive #both in pain and wondering what's going on and why is life so hard #both disposed of when they go where they shouldn't

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chaos-controlfreak · 1 year

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microwaved coffee ☕️

#my art #tails the fox #shadow the hedgehog #barry the quokka #sonic the hedgehog #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #tmosth #fighting for my life trying to keep shadow vaguely on model #why is he so hard to draw

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waterghostype · 29 days

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mm ^_^

#ninjago #jaya #jay walker #nya jiang #nya smith #nya ninjago #ninjago jaya #jay ninjago #ninjago jay #im so busy rn this is the best content i can give atm…#RAGHHHHHH! STRAIGHT PEOPLE!!!#nyas so happy 😊😊shes so joyous #im a firm believer in nya falling harder btw like jay fell HARD but nya fell hit her head instant doom died came back to life kept falling #of course jay is crazy but i think nya is straight maniacal…she just keeps it in which is why shes explosion combustion nuclear reactor #do my tags ever make sense

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bunniberry · 4 months

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why is the quality so BAD!! ESPECIALLY THE FIRST ONE!!!

#my art #art #genshin impact #kaeya #childe #kaeya alberich #id tag this as chaeya but its barely there #just know that the second drawing was with a bunch of chaeyas #still do not know how i want to render. why is life so hard #fanart #genshin fanart #artists on tumblr

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itsajollyjester · 5 months

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The ending they deserved :(

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similili · 2 years

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*starts shaking* i jus wanna play the sims 3 but i can’t bc it’s laggy as all hell on my laptop :(

#why is my life so hard #I JUS WANNA PLAY #i had a whole family g #plus all the expansion packs i bought for that game! why am i being deprived #my postz

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talkfastcal · 2 years

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Sunflower pop socket won’t stay on 😩

#why is my life so hard #anyways on that note goodnight

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kiwi · 7 months

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WE DID IT BOYS, I'm officially the colorist for the upcoming Taxi Ghost graphic novel by Sophie Escabasse!

#thas why ive been kinda MIA more than usual #this is literally a dream for me!!!#ive always wanted to get into comics and kids books #especially from a big publishing house like ranom house!#ive never tried so hard on anything in my life

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pilferingapples · 2 months

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the only Amis who have to Actually Care about their studies are the med students

all the rest are on a sliding scale from 'we don't actually know if they're even in college' to ' actively resisting the college they are enrolled in like they've been dumped behind enemy lines'

they are shit terrible students and that is actually canon

#Marius is a good student.#Marius is square as hell.#this is actually a part of the setup that i think is really hard to graft onto the US modern setting #college is so massively different now #it's expensive there are so many Requirements it's so hostile to like. Life.#why would most of them even be there #being a Good Student has absolutely no correlation with Being Intelligent or Being a Good Person or Overthrowing the Government #and it's less and less of a Given that even middle class kids will attend #so let me tell you about my Amis in Community College/ Community Classes AU--- *is pulled offstage by a giant comedy hook*

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endlesspaint · 1 month

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"I had to save them"

Rest in peace, Liam. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten. 😔✊

I finally finished this, YAY! This animatic is a mix of digital and traditional art. I definitely learned a lot of tricks while making this (also, can you notice the slight difference between art styles??).

This animatic singlehandedly explains what happened to JD after his mom sacrificed him. He was definitely ready to accept his faith until he discovered Branch's was with him (which almost gave him a panic attack). It was a good thing that everyone decided to help him, and Liam (a troll around his age, maybe older?) helped him escape.

For more context about my au check this post!

I obviously don't own the audio, only the animatic. "Bruno is Orange" by Hop Along featuring Francis Quinlan, so credits to them. Here's the link

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petrichorthefox · 16 days

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Seat above the rest, offered generously by the Merchant of the Stars

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wife-beam · 18 days

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i love bingge v bingmei bc it immediately opens up the potential for multiple parallel worlds and travel through them if you just break things a LIL and there is nothing better i could have asked for in an extra. thinking intensely about bingge dropping into a world where shen yuan is a vampire. for fun and profit

#bingge doesn’t get attacked enough for randomly dropping into apartments and i’m going to fix that #stalker fic where sy stabs binghe u will always be my number 1 #svsss #anyway my point is there are so many shen yuans he could meet #my white whale is bingge dropping into an ongoing modern bingyuan situation and fucking things up #bc that is SO funny to me #so your xianxia evil doppelgänger wants to steal your boyfriend #and other reasons why luo binghes life is so so so hard #i know i bring this up periodically on twitter bear with me

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rui-drawsbox · 4 months

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(almost) first-time

Based off that one fanfic that i can't really find but it's about how he stops himself everytime things got spicy ("he pulled his hand like he got a burn" or smth like that and it's been living in my head rent free ever since)

+DOODLES! BC MY ELECTRICITY MAY BE CUT AGAIN BUT THE BRAIN NEVER TURNS OFF

#rui draw smth #our life: beginnings & always #our life mc #our life #olba mc #olba #baxter ward #our life baxter #morning news! my house was the only one in the block with electricity so the neighbors bitched so hard to the company abt *why* we had light #that the company cut us off! lovely neighborhood. dont you think?#it's gonna be another week at least until i have internet again lmao #but my grandma gor her own internet! so im spending the morning at her house♪#i try to be a generally positive person but damn

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