#witcher headcanon

[artistsfuneral]

We always assume Lambert grew up poor.

But what if he used to be a lordling like Jaskier? What if, as the only son, he's still technically the heir?

#rambles #the witcher #artistsfuneral about the witcher #lambert #witcher lambert #witcher headcanon

[swan--writes]

Geralt: "No, wait, you deserve for this to be done the right way–"

Jaskier: "Fuck 'the right way.' Either kiss me like you mean it or don't."

#first geraskier kiss #geraskier #the witcher #witcher #witcher netflix #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #jaskier the bard #witcher fic #the witcher fic #the witcher fanfic #witcher fanfic #the witcher headcanon #witcher headcanon #the witcher hc #geraskier hc #geraskier headcanon #witcher hc

[lexysmexy5]

Witcher Headcanons fluff

For all of you witcher fans here are some fluff headcanons for all reader genders.

For Geralt x reader:

He loves when you talk to him when he is out looking for monster contracts, he most of the time never talk back or seems bored by your talking but he does love your voice, it makes him feel less lonely and different.

He loves to play with your hair (for those who have no hair or don’t like hair he will rub your head softly)

He will sometimes grab your hand and rub circles on them with his gloved hands he does tend to wish he had no gloves on because he loves how your hands feel.

For Lambert x reader:

Lambert is very VERY protective and will do anything to keep you from harm and let’s say if he finds anyone eyeing you in a way he doesn't like, you have to stop him from bashing the person’s head in or a sword in their body.

He hates taking a bath unless you come with him.

He doesn't ever tell you but when you rub his shoulders after he comes home (or at Kaer Morhen) either in the tub or in your guy’s room he absolutely loves it you know how to get every knot out of his shoulders.

For Yennefer x reader:

She will buy you anything (or steal) that you find you like or whatever she thinks that would look good on you.

Yennefer loves when you sing (or read) to her she loves hearing your voice.

She wants to be next to you at all times if possible and she will hold your hand a lot.

For Jaskier (Dandelion) x reader:

He goes to a lot of performances and loves it when he sees you in the crowd listening to him sing.

He will always hide his nervousness in the relationship with humor and jokes (and you can’t forget his nervous hand gestures) but he always trusts that you will work things out together.

He loves when you sing with him (or listen) he talks and sings a lot being the enter of attention but he never forgets to give you the spotlight at times and let you shine and get the attention, not all the time though after all he is your damsel in destress.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wonder if you want a part 2 because I will do it. I will also do smut/spicy headcanons too. I am VERY new to posting on Tumblr I have been on here for a while but never really posted too much. Have a great day or night wherever or whenever you are reading this. 

#witcher fanfiction #the witcher #lambert x reader #geralt x reader #jaskier x reader #yennefer x reader #fluff headcanons #witcher headcanon

[nullio]

I wouldn't be suprised if this was cannon but I've always kinda hc that Geralt (and probably most of the witchers) can't stomach mushrooms anymore

Probably a few different herbs/stimuli just send them right back to being a kid at Kear Morhen

And I make it a litte extra sweet in my mind that Jaskier notices that Geralt will push aside any mushrooms when their on his plate - so now whenever they get food somewhere, Jaskier will quietly ask the inn keeper or chef or whatever to leave off the mushrooms in the dish so Geralt won't have to deal with them x

#she speaks #the witcher #witcher #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #witcher headcanon #geralt headcannon

[scringleydingleydoo]

i want to see Jaskier kick someone's ass next season. Just like.

Yennefer, Ciri, and Geralt have all been captured and are in a cell and the bad guy is about to kill one of them while the other two are still in chains. Then just as the bad guy is about to kill one of them he gets knocked the fuck out by a lute. and when he falls there is Jaskier in all his cunty glory. and he says

"Not my family you BITCH."

#witcher #the witcher #jaskier #geralt #yennefer #ciri #cirilla #witcher headcanon #the witcher headcanon

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡My immortal Jaskier headcanons♡

So here are my headcanons, because I refuse to believe that our ball of sunshine has an expiration date...

So, I know Lauren said that Jaskier not aging in the show was just a filming mistake, something they simply forgot to do and on a completely logical level I am fully aware that in canon Jaskier is completely human, 100%. And I also know that they're not gonna change it, no matter how much some of us may wish they did (Although why not? They already strayed so far from the books and made so many changes, might as well go the extra mile)

Realistic-ish headcanons:

- Jaskier is part elf, perhaps quarter elf like Yennefer, it is an entirely justifiable headcanon, theoretically, Jaskier's human father could have married a half elf commoner woman (who may or may not have had the pointy tips on her ears cut off with a knife to avoid human prejudice)

- Jaskier has a fae ancestor, somewhere many many generations back in his ancestry, so his entire family is suspiciously long lived but nobody cares because Lettenhove isn't politically important and therefore doesn't catch the attention of the prejudiced Nobles farther up the royal court chain.

- Jaskier unintentionally drinks the same elixir mages/sorcerers drink to prolong their life. I read that chaos wielders don't have naturally long lifespans, they semi-regularly drink an elixir with mandrake roots in it to slow the aging process. According to Witcher Wiki, you can only buy mandrake root in Lindenvale and my headcanon is that Jaskier experiments with many different tea blends to see which one is more effective for soothing his throat after singing. So at the age of 29-30, he wanders into Lindenvale and buys some dried mandrake to make a tea, after one sip he felt more rejuvenated than ever and since that day, mandrake root tea has become his number one go-to, he drinks it as often as he can.

More fanfic centric, less canon possible headcanons:

- Jaskier is a Dryad. (Yayyy trans Jaskier headcanon) Since Lettenhove is so tiny, it isn't even on the Witcher continent map, but a simple Google search says that it is Located somewhere in Kerack. Kerack borders with Brokilon, so it's kind of a nifty little loophole for fanfic writers to use and place Lettenhove somewhere near the forests where Dryads live.

And while most Dryads treat any man that enters their realm as a mere sperm donor, Witcher Wiki does also mention that some Dryads can form emotional relationships and fall in love with humans and/or elves, but in the end, all Dryad born offspring is AFAB. So imagine this, Jaskier's father falls in love with a Dryad, she falls in love with him, they have Jaskier, Jaskier notices early on that he feels like a boy and his rich Viscount father hires a mage to help Jaskier transition early.

- Jaskier is a higher vampire, higher vampires are a HIGHLY secretive society, even in canon, part of the reason why even Witchers have so little information about them is because they prefer to hide in plain sight and are ridiculously good at it. Jaskier doesn't age, has no self-preservation instincts, doesn't buy a horse and yet still keeps up with Geralt on foot for 20 years. Jaskier's personality isn't fake, he doesn't act like someone else, it's all him, but his clumsiness is a little bit of an act, he also purposefully avoids physical fights, it comes across as fear of getting hurt but in reality it's because he's afraid of appearing too strong and exposing himself. Lettenhove doesn't appear on maps, because it doesn't exist legally, it's just a castle hidden in the woods, a safe place for higher vampires, kinda like Kaer Morhen is for Witchers, Jaskier's parents just happen to be the ones who run it.

#witcher netflix #netflix witcher #jaskier #part elf jaskier #fae jaskier #dryad jaskier #trans jaskier #vampire jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #yennskier #lambskier #jaskel #jaskier headcanons #immortal jaskier #dandelion #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #witcher fic #witcher headcanon #yennefer of vengerberg #witcher cirilla #ciri witcher #witcher jaskier #jaskier dandelion #headcanons #the witcher

[0dde11eth]

Witchers tend to run hot

Sperm don't like heat, and it reduces their mobility and viability

What if that's the real reason witchers are infertile?

With their limited knowledge at the time of biology it would be easy to assume the poisons in the trials were the reason.

#my nonsense #mutagen #mutagens #witcher trials #the inherent tragedy of witchers #witcher headcanon #witcher headcanons

[ccghastly]

Why Wolf Witchers Kiss

Wolf witchers want to kiss a lot.

The taste of the another's saliva tells a wolf witcher their general health status. This is used to check how friends and loved ones are doing, or to refamiliarise oneself with close acquaintances. 

Wolf witchers don't view mouth kisses as sexual or inherently romantic, rather they're viewed as a sign of care. 

It's common for wolf witchers to greet and part with a quick kiss.

If they want a more thorough check-in, wolf witchers will lick into each other's mouths; like canines do.

Pups will also lick at the chins and mouths of their mentors when begging for food, forgiveness, attention, etc.

A number of wolf witchers prefer not to be kissed while being sexual. Some feeling it to be so platonic that it's a turn off, others finding it distracting as they can then only think of their partner's health, and still others have no issues with it at all.

They are mostly aware that this is not the norm outside of the Wolf School and thus mostly abstain around outsiders.

#the urge the write this in the style of 'if you give a mouse a cookie' was strong #If You Give A Witcher A Kiss #have a cookie 🍪 #cutagens #actually cute this time #the witcher #witcher culture #witcher headcanon #ccghastly

[akhuna]

Told the man about common Witcher headcanons today, especially the stuff that we can all agree upon, such as types of cars they drive in modern AU.

And he really, really would like to contribute his headcanon that Letho, in Modern Witcher AU, drives a Smart or a Twingo or maybe a FIAT Punto.

#Letho #the Witcher #headcanons #witcher headcanon #the man and I

[artistsfuneral]

Eskel would probably make a really good soljanka.

(and if you don't know what that is then a) I'm sorry and b) tell me what you think it is, wrong answers only)

#rambles #the witcher #artistsfuneral about the witcher #witcher #eskel #witcher eskel #witcher headcanon

[swan--writes]

geralt will tolerate tenderness, but he bites when he's had enough

jaskier finds this adorable, because he has no sense of self preservation

#and several new teeth marks #i just #actually i don't have to explain myself to you #the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #geralt #geralt of rivia #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #jaskier #jaskier the bard #is that a tag? #i refuse to tag jask by his full name #witcher headcanon #the witcher headcanon #cutagens

[redeyessharplies]

No thoughts, just Jaskier getting drunk with the Witchers and accidentally blabbing to them about his shitty family and when he wakes up he has suddenly been adopted by Vesemir???

#hc #witcher headcanon #the witcher #vesemir #found family #jaskier

[antisocialsocialite]

witcher headcanons

geralt has hyperosmia and it will be brought up at least twice in any writing (this is a big one)

jaskier does not know how to ride a horse at all

jaskier is in constant need of new shoes (this too is a big one)

everyone knows yen and triss have something sapphic going on except yen and triss 

jaskier is staunchly non-violent (except for when ppl call geralt a mutant) and he can be non-violent and a bamf at the same time

it’s not just geralt, all witchers have a weird thing about jaskier

yen’s motives will never be black n white about anything and its partially intentional (’never let em know your next move’ energy)

jaskier hates harpies specifically

jaskier doesn’t like witches or mages or magic in general, except of course his very good friend triss who he gets along with famously (this is very near and dear to me)

#Witcher #witcher headcanon #jaskier #Geralt #trissefer #yentriss #witcher triss #yennefer

[butternuggets-blog]

My personal headcanon is that Witchers, upon graduation, make their own medallion.

They get some basic instructions (must be round, must have wolf's head) and then they're let loose.

#the witcher #netflix witcher #witcher headcanon

[windflowerofskellige]

Anyways I think Radovid picked up Dijkstra's penchant for bright colours and habit of crossing his arms and you will not change my mind.

If you see me in my writing of radovid having him cross his arms just know where he picked it up from.

#meda rambles #witcher 3 #radovid #sigismund dijkstra #witcher headcanon

[bardcore-jaskier]

♡ My thoughts on Yennskier + headcanons ♡

(Edited post)

- What makes this whole thing so funny and exciting to me is that Yennefer used to think that Jaskier was just some annoying sing songy twit before. While Jaskier's dramatic arse used to consider Yennefer an enemy until she saved him from Rience XD XD XD

- I adored the everliving FUCK out of their scenes together in season 2! Their dynamic is so fucking good! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

- Yennskier, the ship we didn't know we needed, but definitely deserved! Their chemistry is so fucking perfect and their dynamic works so well!

- Personally I think that this ship is actually, currently, THE healthiest and most wholesome one of all my Jaskier ships! At least as of season 2! (Even if Geraskier remains as my OTP)

- In Oxenfurt, when Jaskier and Yennefer got to know eachother better without Geralt's presence to distract them both, ever since they saw the real, raw and vulnerable sides of eachother and became friends, I couldn't help but notice how absolutely toothrottingly perfect they are together!

- Legit, and I kid you not! I can't picture Yennefer and Jaskier having anything other than that deep kind of connection where you know that you are loved, appreciated and adored, despite all your flaws. The kind of love where you know you're not alone, that this person is your family and will always have your back no matter what.

- Yennefer, despite being one of the most powerful sorceresses on the entire continent, treats Jaskier as an equal by the time Ciri gets possessed. (Bro, like even Geralt doesn't do that! Jaskier is his friend, sure, but I've never seen Geralt treating him as an equal.)

- Yennefer and Jaskier have a mutual respect for eachother, they trust eachother, they enjoy eachother's company. All of those things are A CRUCIAL part of having a solid foundation to build a honest, sturdy, long-lasting and happy relationship upon.

- From compatibility POV, they work together a lot better than Geralt and Yennefer did. With Jaskier, there are no djinn related consent issues, there wouldn't be any communication issues and he would probably be a positive influence on Yennefer's mental health.

- Whereas her relationship with Geralt was quite frankly chaotic, explosive, sometimes even toxic. It was built upon a shaky foundation of lust, djinn magic and exchanged favors. Like c'mon, their time together as an on-and-off couple mostly consisted of having kinky unicorn sex, trauma dumping, dealing with magical, gorey and insanely dangerous situations, then talking about said situations until they have a fight! Leaving eachother every time in the end because they can't seem to make it work long-term. They're incompatible because in canon, the only thing that finally made them stick together for good, was an orphaned girl in need of protection. It's not right, kind of like parents who are postponing their divorce until their daughter grows up :/

- Jaskier on the other hand, despite his magic-less ordinary humanity has a hilariously witty, optimistic, stupidly brave, highly empathetic, loyal and supportive personality. Yennefer would have an understanding partner who loves her, cherishes her, acceptc her for who she is without judgement nor pity. A partner who would make it his life's mission to help her see the good things this world has to offer, to make her happy because she deserves it!

- Damn it all, they both have been through enough, they both deserve a break. They actually GET eachother. I can already feel a drabble forming in my brain, set a week or so after the whole Voleth Mier shebang, Jaskier is struggling with PTSD and nightmares about Rience, Yennefer is struggling with guilt and shame because she put Ciri in danger. So while Geralt is too busy with Ciri's training to be there for Jaskier and he feels too betrayed to be in Yennefer's company, neither Yen nor Jask have anyone to turn to in Kaer Morhen, except eachother. Three months confined to a witcher keep together? Now that is a LOT of time to spend with someone you can be openly vulnerable around, bond with, heal and share joy with, unexpectedly falling in love....

- Yennefer too is an extremely good match for Jaskier, it's almost uncanny how much she completes him! Jaskier would finally have an understanding and loving partner who truly saw him when others didn't bother. And Yennefer liked what she saw, the familiar face of a simple human bard who offered kindness and compassion to strangers even if it could kill him. She saw courage, honesty, forgiveness and so much good, a collection of rare qualities she had never thought could exist within one single person all at once. After Voleth Mier, all that goodness was given to her so freely, it is still being given to her everyday, so she knows a treasure when it looks her right in the eyes with such easy warmth. She would make it her life's mission to cling onto him with everything she's got, to love and cherish him the way he deserves, to protect the only person she deems worthy of holding her heart!

- They have a lot in common too. From both having a knack for fashion, both being mischievous little shits at heart and both having high standards when it comes to personal hygiene. To also having similar tastes in both alcohol, humor, luxury and entertainment.....if Yennefer's kinky orgy party and Jaskier's reputation as the biggest slut on the continent is anything to go by.

- Speaking of sex, both of them having a high libido and exceptional skills in bed aside, they're fucking GORGEOUS people! Why wouldn't they find eachother attractive?

- Yennefer is basically a Goddess, beauty personified! She is elegant and breathtaking, everyone knows it.

- However, since a majority of the Witcher fandom usually dismisses Jaskier in favor of simping for Geralt, I can, I must and I WILL gush about how pretty Jaskier is! Cuz clearly some of them bitches be blind, Yennefer is one lucky witch!

- Jaskier is like only 1,5 inches shorter than his grouchy snowman friend. Meaning he is tall as all hell and he definitely isn't lacking in the muscle department either, that bard is jacked yo. His voice is soothing and his vocabulary is extensive enough to make the most experienced of whores blush from pillow talk. He has VERY soft looking hair and he has one of the most angelic fucking faces I've ever seen. His eyes are the clearest shade of blue and his expressions + mannerisms are absolutely adorable! Ok, I'm done gushing, onto the next point....

- Unlike Jaskier, I don't think I have a dummy thick enough of a vocabulary to express how much dopamine Yennskier fanfics give me, more specifically when their husband and wife act from Oxenfurt becomes an inside joke for them, leaving the rest of Kaer Morhen's inhabitants confused as fuck.

- Geralt getting a bit jealous? His brothers wondering when that could have happened? Ciri feeling bamboozled as well?

- It's all shits and giggles until somebody giggles and shits. It won't take long until their inside joke is no longer a joke. They already bicker like a married couple anyway XD

- I can not help but also headcanon Jaskier as not fully human. It would be sad if he up and died on his dear immortal wife. I don't necessarily picture him having chaos or other powers in this scenario, but when I do, I think that they would discover them together on accident.

#jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #netflix witcher #witcher netflix #dandelion #jaskier dandelion #witcher ciri #yennefer of vengerberg #yenneferthewitcher #yennskier #cirilla of cintra #cirilla fiona elen riannon #geralt of rivia #witcher geralt #witcher headcanon #yennefer x jaskier #part elf jaskier #nonhuman jaskier #immortal jaskier #witcher ship