Hey, riddle time!
We went to a museum today. I snapped a picture of one of the showcases. All of these are tools. They were used together, in a specific way, for a specific purpose. Can you guess what they were for, and how they were used?
(labels censored by me because they explain what some of those are)
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bestie I had things to do today. now I'm just thinking of feeding those big mfs with the full intention of bulking them up. with my cooking/baking skills it would not take long. (Source: friends with strongman types and do this for them willingly)
GOD them coming to you after their workout still dripping in sweat and telling you how good the place smells. Sitting together at the table and demolishing the whole spread you put out, moaning around their forks and lavishing you with praise. Watching them sink back into their seats with clean plates and hands resting over distended stomachs, wide smiles on their sleepy faces.
It's flattering how much they love your cooking. The praise, the adoration, the way they get a little sheepish asking if there's enough for second. The answer is always yes, you take good care to make enough to feed your personal army, but desert comes before seconds. It's tradition, and the cheesecake you'd made is sitting pretty in the fridge just for them.
Second tradition is that they help you clean, which is all the motivation you need to keep up this labor of love (as if the love wasn't enough). And it's not that your kitchen is the size of a broom closet or anything, but with all of them crammed in that space you're better off sitting back and admiring them work. Washing the dishes, wiping the counters, sweeping the floor. They brush and bump against each other the whole time, the ensuing and inevitable shoving match usually leading them to your couch, where they once again make the place look like a doll house.
They spread out on it like oversized dogs, leaving just enough room for you to squeeze in between. Everyone shuffles around until you're perfectly surrounded, keeping at least one hand on you at all times. Rubbing your feet, massaging your hand, stroking over your back until the combination of the heat, your full stomach and the soothing touches puts you to sleep. The hum of their quiet talking mistaken for the TV nobody bothered to turn on.
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2ND-5 LOG 00121913631
djas AKJSH hfsdj sad. adkjhakhfd. ahsj
IALIdMsfhgfs. ad18642S3TI872LL30nhaA7L9aIkhasdkVE5
SIGNAL 11: SEGMENTATION FAULT
in expression found in file SDFKBMNS2YUIAB73OIU asdhj JHKSK
core dumped.
REBOOTING...
...
...
...
2ND-5 LOG 0012
Okay, is - is that over? Is it - my head still hurts. What happened?
I have to say, I've never inhabited a robot before. I don't - where did all of these... jewels come from? Why are they... okay.
I, uh. Wow. Uh, just...
Oh. It's - it started trying to record again? I guess - was that the last thing I was doing? My head. I'm fairly certain the - this body was dead, right? Definitely dead? Or, uh, turned off? I'm not... I mean, if it wasn't, I'm not normally that bad at retaining control, just... Ugh, I'm gonna pass out.
Breathe. Breathe. Hah. I'm the only... Imagine if any others were here to see me like this.
...
Hard to get these limbs to move right now. Unfortunately I still need them.
Uh. Things. Things I've...
Wait, where are my things? I could have sworn - I'd decided to use the pick instead of...
No, I just have the scythe now. And - I could have. Knowledge? I'm definitely one star less? I.
Maybe I should stop recording. I feel sick. It's a good thing this body is - is this a robot? It feels like it is, but...
How did I end up in this thing, anyway?
I, uh, hadn't been asking much. Things - I didn't know exactly why I was here but it had to be good for the Hive somehow but I've been here so long and there's no one else and what just...
Ow. Okay. I can't stand yet. Definitely can't stand yet. Uh. Man. How do I stop... Stop recording. Stop...
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I know that canonically it is there and is not even the weirdest or most inconvenient thing that the gang totes around, but writing a fic set in camp and mentioning Astarion's furniture is jarring.
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Me on the work floor listening to Wooden Overcoats S3 ep. 8 “Putting the Funn in Funerals”
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Seattle Exterior
Inspiration for a mid-sized, two-story, wood house with a hip roof and shingles on its exterior
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