#writing a lot lately about being

[gooperts-gunk]

im so crazy over the tragedy of everything q!bbh does being under a demon pretense even though he's a fallen angel.

do u think he just accepts the demon label because it's easier. do u think he believes it too, and catches himself in his thoughts with "oh, right. im not exactly that". and maybe he believes that he did this to himself? do u think what he did was to protect himself or someone? no matter the fall, he still has so much kindness to give and his brain just isn't wired the way a natural-born demon would be, he can't hold back instincts when time demands it, maybe that's why he fell in the first place.

and when he's finally bad, not good, it's treated like the end of the world, without empathy on why he would act out. do you think this keeps happening? the same scenario, multiple times, every timeline? he has to be used to it. so he has to take it in stride. he's good until he lashes out under extreme pressure, and suddenly he's called demon. and once again he's what heaven made him out to be. what he made himself to be, his brain would ruthlessly provide...

i don't think he wants to be that, though he hides secrets behind secrets of which neither identity is a home... but i don't think he wants to have to change, either. and i don't think that's wrong of him.

...you collapse atlantis ONE TIME and all of a sudden YOU'RE the bad guy and SURE it was FUN but REALLY now,--

#lots of expansion on this in tags beware #this is a draft from 2:40AM the day before i just felt something within me and i needed to write about fallen angel q!bbh angst NOW #this post is brought to you by q!bbh in purgatory and post-purgatory i will never forgive you purgatory 1 #no one can bear to have a healthy conversation about q!bbh's behaviors let alone TO q!bbh. BUT IF Q!BAGHERA WASN'T STUCK ON THE ISLAND... #i miss u bbh + baghera interactions let me see u soon pls #he isn't impossible to communicate with ur just not jiving with his autism right u can get through to him i swear BUT TOO LATE he DIED #now he doesn't remember!!! (unless that part of the library is recovered) u lost ur shot!!! (ur issues with him will rise again) #now every time bagi goes “'cause he's a demon” with bbh i go OH MAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW IT'S MORE... it hurts how flippant it is sometimes #because WE KNOW OH MAN WE KNOW IT'S MORE and this concept of him being fallen adds SO MUCH CONNOTATION to EVERYTHING he does #it isn't just DEMON THINGS it's GOD MADE ME THIS THINGS and i just can't wait to know WHY what did you DO!!! #your instincts are to be nice though cautiously detached when your life restarts so WHAT DID YOU DO IF YOU ARE NOT INHERENTLY BAD??? #goopert talks qsmp #qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo

[dreamtuna]

I want to write a billion post-war Levi drabbles where he is just loved so dearly, as he deserves to be

and also some throatfucking would be neat

Imagine being on your knees for him looking up at the most beautiful face you've ever seen, scars and all

And then he grabs your head, fingers working into your hair

"Open," he commands and you gladly comply

He uses your mouth so roughly, spit running down your chin and the sound of your gagging filling the room

It drives him wild

He pulls out and nuts all over your face and you thank him, smiling up so sweetly at the love of your life as you kneel there covered in his love

and he just immediately softens and drops to his knees, wincing as he does so but refusing to let you move him to the bed or chair, and holds you tight, not caring as his cum smears over him, not caring if he tastes it, he has to kiss you endlessly

He has to show you you are loved just as dearly

#i think about this a lot lately #do you think he'd apologise for being so rough or would he be too embarrassed or prideful #maybe i'll flesh this out into a longer piece but writing about how it feels to be throatfucked is digging into some old ass memories #i'm long distance it's been a while LMAO #levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi ackerman smut #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #n.sfw #dream writes #dream writes: short

[luckycharms1701]

💙 He wakes up slowly.

This is a surprise. Normally there is sleeping and then there is awakening, nothing in between. He lingers in the middle, confused but also… content.

It feels like meditating, he thinks, and without thought Leo’s breath slips into that familiar pattern. He allows his awareness to spread out.

Almost immediately he finds you. You are sprawled across his plastron, one arm flung across his waist and the other under your head over his heart. The softest snores are coming out of your mouth.

He has to remind himself to breathe, to slip back into his meditative state. It is harder than he thinks it should be.

At one point that had been a very sore subject for him, the way you disturbed his calm without even thinking about it. Now, though. Now he understands that some emotions are too strong to be fully curbed, that love is meant to disturb as often as it calms.

Now, he curves slightly into you even as he continues to meditate, breathing in your scent. There. That's the source of his contentment. You are the source of his contentment.

He meditates for some time, reflecting on you and on love. The highs and the lows, the agonies and the ecstasies. His quiet contemplation is interrupted by you, causing a smile to cross his face at the irony.

You nuzzle into his plastron slightly as you slowly start to wake. He opens his eyes and looks down to find that you've turned your head and opened your own eyes, a sleepy smile on your face.

He reaches out and brushes his thumb gently across your lips, cupping your cheek. You turn into his palm, giving it a small kiss as you stretch.

"Good morning princess," he whispers, and you mumble back as you curl farther into him.

His heart is full as the two of you prepare to begin your day together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic

#tmnt #bayverse leo #bayverse leo x reader #writing tag #god i love it when raph calls you princess but when leo does it hits different #soooo this was originally going to be about raph because i have been thinking about red boy A Lot lately #but SOMEBODY decided to pull out their sniper rifle and introduce me to a new himbo #and if there's one thing i enjoy it's being a sniper #don't worry tho i will definitely do a raph one too #not me watching the discord chat pop off about bay leo while writing this and cackling maniacally

[pixelsjoy]

YUNOBO SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT

My boy not only got the best development from BotW to TotK but he

Was willing to singlehandedly revive his hometown AND DID

2. Made it possible for people in Hyrule to come to Death Mountain

3. Really wanted to help search for Link and Zelda! And he was going to after he checked on Death Mountain!

4. Also wanted to do what he could to protect his people

You go my goron dude. Keep winning king.

#TotK Spoilers #Tears of the Kingdom #Yunobo #Legend of Zelda #TLoZ TotK #I know a lot of people are joking around at this point but #It genuinely makes me sad to see people hating on Yunobo. You don't have to like a character yeah but #He's just a guy™. A silly billy. Sweet potato #Ride or die for my goron brother #Also Offrak and Slergo being his biggest supporters and the ones to name YunoboCo MY HEART #@ everyone saying Yunobo would be a good dad you are so right #Anyways it is late and I feel silly writing about this but I thought about this #Putting more love for my boy in his tag. As he deserves. #// long post

[spearxwind]

Hi this is where I talk a bunch about ocs :D

I dont have a lot of time lately to talk abt lore but i still think abt my guys whenever i have some chill time to myself, so here's some patch notes. This is also just me thinking out loud haha

CD:

ive been playing w some changes for CD and seeing if they stick :] gonna make the story slightly more complex and the sides of the conflict also different (for example I am going to make hades and talas full on enemies at first along with connon, caval and silas >:3 (and I am also making silas and his monster form two separate characters so the lion (hal) is now a mount instead))

Specifically what I've been thinking about is making Hades either a ship captain or a first mate for a rogue ship. The deal with Hades is that he comes from a renowned family from Redbridge and is a disgrace to them. In previous versions of CD they were artisans but that never rly clicked for me, and recently I have been reworking Redbridge into a naval empire to add some 🤏spice 🤏to the world, which would mean Hades' family is actually a naval captain family putting him next in line to be one of them but since his thing is being a disgrace he takes off and becomes a rogue. And instead of hating leviathans he fucking hates hunters instead. Conversely, I think with these changes Talas would also NOT be inclined to kill hunters (or at least not as often as he currently does). He'd pick fights with the naval fleet and other similar factions instead which is more like his character.

I also wanna try and bring back an older concept I had where connon's ship was able to both become fully submerged (like the subs in sunless sea where her character originated from) and this other idea I had where a ship could split in half into two smaller ships. Like if a catamaran could split into two and flank a vessel on both sides. But we'll see if I can make this work x)

Dragons (broken horizon + extinction):

I vaguely mentioned this a while ago as well but I've also been thinking abt my dragons and how I kinda want them to all be in one world/setting, which includes both my broken horizon guys (cer, jarek, octane, etc) and my extinction guys (alex, c, orion, etc) but I dont know how to deal with all of the conflicting lore and themes.

Because for extinction the big theme is there are people who can turn into dragons, and technically all of the dragons' powers are based on energy (for lore reasons). Meanwhile for my other dragons I have a few different elements or other ways of using fire (eg instead of using straight up fire/energy, my oc Jarek can breathe out gas only and ignites it with his mandibles).

I miss all my dragons a lot so I kinda wanted to make a world for them where I could have them Vibe and do different stories in so I thought about having a dragon-only universe but unfortunately Extinction has a pretty huge human element that I cant just eliminate.

It feels counterintuitive, i know the first logical choice is 'just let them be different things' but I genuinely feel like the right choice is to put them both together so the characters can interact and the whole story can be deeper because as it is both are really shallow and I would really like for them to work together so that's what I've been picking at for some months now (it's um. been real slow)

For these two stories I do have two different vibes though that I've been wondering how to weave together nicely bc they overlap for some characters. For broken horizon I had flying and aerial racing as a big theme (and some of the chars in extinction would be rly into that) and for extinction I had dragon arena fights as a big theme (and some of the characters in bh would be rly into that) both of these is another of the reasons why I wanted to put them both together bc it feels like they can fit very well I just have to find the right idea for them to click and then itll be smooth sailing -w-

I also wanted to talk abt this in hopes that talking abt all the dragons gets me to think more about them as well

I wanted to make this post bc I've been really busy lately and rly absent from here in general and I don't have as much time to draw (or even think abt ocs) anymore but I still wanted to keep posted about what's been going on in my head and hopefully get some eyes on it and maybe even some feedback if anyone is so inclined

If u read this whole thing thank u i owe you my life fr I hope u enjoyed reading abt my patch notes :D and hopefully sometime in the future I can get back to drawing concepts and stuff or maybe even writing stuff

#thunderclap #oc ramble #challenger deep #broken horizon #long post #whew this took so long to write and i dont even know if its gonna make ANY sense to anyone auuggggg #ive been thinking a lot about CD in my off time recently I want to make it GOOD i wanna make it COMPLEX i have a lotta good insp lately #so im hoping to make some good and much needed changes #and i also think abt my dragons a lot they just like. float at random in my head in cool scenes and i have no way to bring it all together #AND THAT MAKES ME MAD!!! THIS IS MY HOUSE!! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE IT FIT AUUUGGHGHHHH!!!! #i also think abt octane and alex being rivals a lot now it actually fits so much. radioactive bitches. fusion vs fission. #generation vs combustion. white and black. both still orange. please please i need this to work sooo bad #ALSO C AND ARC AND JAREK AND DIMA WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL I KNOW IT I DO AUGH

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

Jon becoming KiTN in Winds (specifically) would actually be bad as far as themes go

#hot take of the day y’all 🌚 #idk if I’ll write about this more in depth one day but…… #jon is going through a traditional hero’s journey - perhaps almost very literally #he is currently at the lowest point of the journey which is where the hero faces his toughest mental and maybe physical battles #winds will be his innermost cave (like a gaze into the abyss) + ordeal step which have to happen before his reward (apotheosis and boon) #so unless grrm wants to paint him becoming kitn as his lowest point thematically which could mean jon knowingly usurps his siblings #-because let’s face it him being robb’s heir while valid still comes with A LOT of issues- #there’s just no way his ascension to the northern throne could thematically be good for anyone but most of all him #I tend to think that jon will be tempted -this will be his gazing into the abyss part instead of the usually accepted theory #that he just doesn’t do anything at all for the whole book- and that is what will create the most believable narrative tension in his arc #but he won’t go through with it and will ultimately choose to sacrifice himself AGAIN #pulling back from the abyss before it’s too late #so yeah his kitn prospects for winds don’t look very good….sorry to say guys :( #but if we talk about king of WINTER…that’s a different matter yes? 😀 #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #jon snow #preparing to be excommunicated from the fandom in 3 2 1…

[frootbyethefoot]

persona 4 COULD have been a groundbreaking game in late 2000's early 2010's. it could have been a " mainstream " (mainstream in moderately sized quotes!) game that showed complex, flawed queer people as the main characters. but it doesn't. it heavily implies its characters are queer, changes its mind, and then produces some of the most homophobic and transphobic writing you've seen in a long time. persona 4 wants to make something beautiful so bad but it feels like its too afraid to actually do anything and ends up going back to its old homophobic/transphobic tropes.

#you can tell i was thinking about yosuke can't you #YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT COULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING!!! IT COULD'VE BEEN REALLY GREAT!!! #don't get me wrong i think persona 4 still has its importance its a fantastic game with amazing writing when its not being bad! #but it could have been better if they just committed to it #or at the very least left out a lot of its homophobia #i know i sound like i'm exaggerating but i mean it when i say persona 4 is a really gay game #sorry persona 4 rant over i'm normal :-) #persona 4 #p4 #p4g #I CORRECTED MY SPELLING MISTAKE #it was late when i wrote this :(

[polite-pandemonium]

I am just somehow OBSESSED with Takeru DRIVING. Like is he a bad driver? He speeds past the gang waiting outside of Daisuke's restaurant (or the restaurant where Daisuke works, whatever), so maybe? Is that his mom's car? Or is it his car? Why does he NEED a car? What is he doing that requires him to drive? Is it going to be a plot point in the movie? Is Takeru being a BAD DRIVER going to be a plot point? I need to know.

Ken and Miyako are also visibly startled when Takeru speeds past (Miyako JUMPS!!!!), while Iori and Hikari don't even flinch. What does that say about DYNAMIC?! Are Iori and Hikari more used to Takeru's (presumably bad) driving? That would make sense, no, cause they are (canonically???) closer with him? Just such a small interaction and I can interpret so much and draw so many conclusions!!! How fun!!!

There's just something really so fun about watching characters you've loved your whole life continue to grow - to see new details about them spring up, new traits, new things to add to canon. It's the most delightful thing about the Digimon Adventure franchise to me. Sure, the stories they have told over the last decade have mostly been all various shades of mediocre, but the character moments - goodness, the character moments just don't hit the same in any other media for me. It's so special to me.

ETA: WAIT, looking at the screencap, Iori looks slightly concerned. Only Hikari looks calm (though she does turn her whole body to look at the car once it stops). Does this mean HIKARI is the only one comfortable with his driving? Cause Hikari is closest to him? (I don't even think their closeness is something that is debatable - I feel like it is PRETTY CANON that they are closest with each other???????????)

HERE'S HOW TAKARI CAN STILL WIN.

#if anyone wants to talk about Takeru DRIVING please DM me lmaooo #I think a big reason about why I am obsessed with it is because when I write/wrote Digimon fanfic #I was always VERY CAREFUL to make sure the characters took transit or walked places #motor vehicle ownership is very low in Japan and I want to make my fics feel as real as possible while still being fanfiction #so it wouldn't make sense for any of the Chosen to drive #SO TAKERU DRIVING???? #IS SENDING ME TO ANOTHER LEVEL #if only for the TRANSPORTATION POSSIBILITIES it will open up for me when/if I ever finish writing something again #also - car conversations #car intimacy #SO MANY THINGS TO CONSIDER #I'm done #I'm going to bed #I'm really bored cause I am leaving for vacation in ten days and so are all my friends #so the thing about going on vacation with the people you hang out with a lot is that everyone is preparing to go on vacation at the same ti #so everyone is the same kind and amount of busy #the last minute errands and appointments and wrapping up work and getting ready to abandon your regularly scheduled life for two weeks kind #so I'm....not doing much lately lol #hence my losing it over this #digimon

[junipershouse]

big huge alien sophant species

the secondchildren are a deeply enigmatic species of plasma-based energy creatures. their existence is colonial, and their bodies consist of thousands of different conciousnesses acting as a singular entity. these bodies often exist in a state of energetic flux, but by sharing strong memetic energy, each component of a secondchild can carry memories and experiences for an incredibly long time. for this reason, they're largely seen as functionally immortal. secondchildren are known for their high latent will energy, their advanced useage of will-energy technology, and their incredibly elusive and nonsensical nature. much of the will=energy technology used in my setting was developed by secondchildren.

the e-kuri are an incredibly hardy species living on a massive cold moon. the pressure on this moon is so immense that their carbon outer shell has flakings of pure diamond in it. and because of this, they are known for their incredible strength and speed in lower pressure environments. on-moon, they're grazers feeding off of small creatures which live in little holes, using their long tongues and fanlike limbs to disturb potential prey. societally, they have little interest in astrotravel and largely mind their own business - they're not very social. a long time ago, it was posed that their incredible strength could be used as a sort of biological generator if harnessed, but the morality of this idea was very questionable. their underside is soft and fluffy.

the fleu are an incredibly rare species of deep-sea creatures living under the thick ice ocean of a starless planet. their numbers are in the thousands, and they take an incredibly long time to reach maturity. very little is known about them due to this. any attempts at contact has largely been met with aggression, but its generally agreed on that fleu have complicated and intricate technology, even if the purpose and form of such technology largely remains a mystery.

the large blue form of a secret senmin is actually a sort of external flying lung, their "true body" is the colorful protusion at the top there. the lung is used to float freely through the thick atmosphere of the several large gas giants they call home. they communicate through rapid electric color changing and quivering of the various "limbs" of this body. they're known for being intelligent, curious, and very social, and they've figured out a way to store enough food and energy to traverse small sections of atmosphereless space without use of large ships.

magma lovers live in magma, as their names suggest. their bodies are protected by a thick glass layer over a metallic shell. even less is known about them due to the hostility of their living conditions to other types of life. it's known that they live in some sort of structured society, though.

oo3o and onri-semphimin are similar in that the largest political institutions of both species are ICDCI members, and therefore they're pretty common to see in multi-species living areas. o-s'es are semiaquatic, while oo3os are entirely aquatic, living near the surface. oo3o are a largely asocial species with communities largely just consisting of a few individuals, and they're talented builders. they've developed all sorts of "airwalking" suits to travel onto land and isolate themselves further. meanwhile, o-s'es are very social and live in extremely large colonies. They're adepts at terraforming.

e-bupp are metal worms that live in a sort of puddinglike-texture "oceans" on the same moon that e-kuri originate from. these strange oceans are actually the focus of much of the biodiversity on this moon, and e-bupp have taken on a sort of parental role towards the younger (in species terms) and less technologically adept e-kuri. e-bupp attempted astral travel, but the logistics of it made it more trouble than it was worth.

#speculative biology #sci fi #xenobiology #alien species #worldbuilding #oc #oo3o tag #onri-semphimin tag #sadum tag #hey sorry for the lack of art lately... ive been burnt out a bit due to college #ive been writing about my funny aliens a lot tho. i just havent been drawing #ikd why i decided to draw all these guys cus theyre almost all too big to actually appear in my story :( #the spacecraft where most of the plot takes place is too big for them... fader and a few oo3os are actually the biggest species onboard #so only the ones who actually show up in the story are getting tags... sorry :P #well secondchildren are mentioned regularly but theyre too busy being weird realitybending plasma colonies to actually appear #these descriptions are really barebones btw #i could say a lot more. about oo3o specifically. but ill save that for when i draw one of their airwalker suits ;P

[mejomonster]

On a serious note, I do feel mysterious case lotusbook has a lot of sincere themes about getting older, realities of responsibility and dreams realized, how it's difficult to succeed and not always the direct path one expects, how there's value in little aspects of life. Almost every li lianhua scene seems to be about that to some degree. The murder cases aren't particularly deep as far as super complicated to figure out or Able to be predicted super well (since they don't always give all the details in the initial setup), but the themes about who was killed and why do connect to li lianhuas situation.

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #by all this i mean: a lot of the positive things li lianhua AND di feisheng say are fairly good advice tbh #like a fei? hes like you need to be fair in your decisions for your actions to be worthwhile and earned #li lianhua: sometimes being the one taking all responsibility was bad for you and the people you led who felt burdened #by You taking the burden. and stepping back can be a respectable choice. #cooking is more difficult than fighting. keeping yourself alive is Hard and its the hardest thing we do #and its admirable even when youll never be a hero never be able to achieve what those around you might #your peers are worthwhile if they choose diffetently than you (qian wanmian isnt lesser for not choosing to lead a sect and instrad #dissolving it. di feisheng doesnt think li lianhua is no longef worth his time even though hes weaker now. li lianhua is still someonr he #wants to see alive see brlieve in himself see passionate about things. the monks think its never too late to #reconnect to people again. that people who love you will want you and accept you even when you fail. #even fang duobing by knowing li lianhua gets the experience of someone who wants him alive #and fondly smiles and Is proud of him. evrn if hes learning and fails and moody #fond of him in a way his family wasnt that strangers lied about due to his status #in a way that he clung to li xianyi for ALSO seeing value in him when he felt he didnt live up to expectstions of the world #its the Kindness of little moments of acceptance. of being kind to yourself and kind to others (even down to #not wantjng to kill suspects but take them to trial. not wanting scapegoats blamed. which arent usually done in wuxia) #its the fact this show is quite about gentleness and healing (i see the Love and Redemption screen writing ismilarities) #rather than about power struggles. do you know what i mean?

[bloodbot-brian]

Me and Brian because Ive been having an awful day and wanted him to comfort me

This is obviously very self indulgent but I like how I drew myself and I want to share more stuff like this and talk about my relationships with media and characters more often on here

#I want to clarify that the way I miss him is in the way that I daydream about being with him an unhealthy amount #and view him (and other mechs) as my family loved ones and friends more than the actual people in my life #it is something I need to talk to a therapist about but I don’t see a lot therapist until late next month so #writing and drawing and talking about it is the best thing for me to do right now #vent #vent art #bat lover art #the mechs #the mechanisms #mechsona #drumbot brian

[toyybox]

Spiderwebs #24: Heather Performs A Lobotomy

Masterlist

content: lab whump, captivity, immortal whumpee, organ stuff, drugging, needles/injections

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Heather knew he was asleep, one afternoon, barely moving to breathe and curled up tightly under the blanket. She shook him, but he didn’t stir. She had given him the drug a few minutes earlier under the guise of another painkiller. When she shone a light in his eyes, he did not react at all, and she was certain she could proceed with her work.

Keeping him awake, while effective in sending a message, was inconvenient for dissections she actually needed to have done. Heather had mostly worked on cadavers during her education. Cadavers did not plead or beg and, most importantly, they kept perfectly still. For this, she wanted to be precise. 

She placed him on the dining table, with a tarp underneath, then tied her hair back and pulled on her gloves. She was curious to see what was under that skull of his—the brain, that is. It would be a difficult procedure to enact. Permanent damage was possible, of course, and she simply didn’t know how to go about it. Saw through bone or dig through the back of the eye? It would be good to have samples of brain tissue, but cutting through a skull was much more complicated than simply pushing under the soft parts of the face. And, anyways, it was better to start with something small before she got ahead of herself.

Heather steadied the needle over his face, as she pried his eyelids open with her other hand. She wasn’t exactly sure how quickly an injury like this would heal. He had recovered nearly instantly from the bullets. He didn’t seem to change much after burning to death, either.

The needle slid easily behind the curve of the eye. She remembered the way her psychology professor had described it: severing a connection of nerves, and therefore severing some part of the self that acted and was able to feel. It blunted a part of the soul. Although this was not the time to be superstitious; such theological concepts would be of no use to her. She was getting distracted.

She hesitated, then pushed the needle in.

Something gave way underneath it. She winced. I definitely hit something… Something wet and yielding had been punctured. Or cut. And that was all she needed to do. She slid the needle out, watching as a thin line of blood pulled off its underside like spit from teeth. To ensure the effect would last, she pushed the needle into his other eye.

Jackie shifted. She nearly dropped the needle.

He was tensing up, moving, waking up. I must have given an incorrect dosage. It was always a risk, when some drugs did nothing at all for him, and others would only work in lethal amounts. He opened his other eye. His gaze moved slowly, unfocused as it passed over her.

She pried the needle out. A bit of blood speckled his face, but he didn’t react. 

“I have a headache,” he said, slurring the words.  

“How much does it hurt? One to ten.”

He shrugged. He tried to get up from the table.

She clicked her tongue and gently pressed him onto his back. “No. Stay there. There’s something I need to do. You won’t move, right?”

He didn’t look pleased, but he didn’t move either.

Luckily, she had guessed this might happen, so she had already prepared lidocaine to administer local anaesthesia. It wouldn’t put him to sleep, but it would numb him. She placed the injection above the side of his neck, below the jaw.

“What’s your favourite colour?” she asked as she pressed down on the injection. 

“I don’t have one.”

“Really? I thought you would.” She removed the injection. He’s coherent, she thought, and he’s answering my questions, but he doesn’t seem to be reacting appropriately to the situation. Jackie usually didn’t like the idea of surgery. Either it was the drugs, or she truly had damaged some part of his brain. That’s still a minor cut, though. I want to see how a fatal injury would heal.

While the anaesthetic took effect, she prepared her scalpel, the drill, and the electrical bone saw. Jackie stayed quiet and still for his part, which she was happy to see. When she cut the skin open and drilled through the skull, eventually cutting it away, he didn’t even wince.

She reached into the inward valley of his skull and inserted the saw into the centre of the frontal lobe. It was incredibly difficult to cut out. The knotted pink flesh healed almost immediately. Nevertheless, she managed with some time and a lot of splattered blood, after which she placed the halved organ into a large glass jar.

Even cut out of him, pressed against the glass, it was reforming, albeit not as well as it should have been—becoming misshapen against the walls of its container, running out of space to mold with and soon slowing down its growth. She set the jar down on the kitchen counter and shook her wrist out. Her arm felt sore already.

The tarp shifted and crackled behind her. 

Heather spun around to see Jackie sitting upright, touching his newly-healed head and glancing at his unbloodied palm with mild curiosity.

“Don’t—” She marched over and seized both his hands. “You’re a terrible patient. I told you to stay still.”

“Sorry. You shoulda tied me down, doc.” He still seemed to be mostly out of it. It was a fairly powerful concoction of drugs, after all. He gave her a loopy, puppy-dog grin, smiling despite the severe head wound like the big idiot he was…

She smiled back—then she immediately turned away from him. I can’t give him the wrong idea! Ruining my work the first chance he gets. He thinks he’s hilarious, doesn’t he?  “I was being nice by forgoing the restraints, but I’ll keep that in mind for the next experiment.”

“What’s that jar on the counter?” he asked, leaning forwards. “Wait, I’ll guess—”

“It's none of your concern.” She picked up her notebook and pen and wrote a few things down. “Now, Jackie, I know you might not be in your right senses after all that. I need you to listen to me carefully and answer my questions to the best of your ability. I cut out a significant part of your frontal lobe. In a typical human being, this would result in death, or at least unconsciousness.”

“But I’m special.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. We don’t know if the damage is permanent yet. I’ll start with testing your memory and such. What’s your last name?”

“What’s a last name?” he asked innocently. 

“Don’t play games with me.”

He batted his eyelashes.

She sighed. “If you behave, I’ll give you a lollipop.”

“My name is Jackie Rockwell,” he said. “Twenty-one, born and raised in the States, about five-foot-seven. There are eighteen groups in the periodic table. The smallest land animal is the Etruscan shrew. Level, racecar, and radar are all examples of common palindromes.”

“Smartass.”

“Chienne.”

“Cabrón.” 

“I’m still waiting for my lollipop, doc.”

Pequeña comadreja. Silently, she pulled out a lollipop from her pocket and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he said, tearing the plastic off. “You were saying?”

“Right. As I was saying, I think it’s safe to assume the removal of brain matter did not affect your memory or speech. Your nervous system doesn’t change when it heals. I was afraid—” She stopped herself. Heather knew he would be fine. He always recovered. She had already set him on fire, and he had survived even that unscathed. It was just a shallow worry, nothing worth putting words to. “In any case, I’m glad that went over without any complications.”

“And what if something went wrong? Would you not care?” 

“Nothing would…” She glanced at him. He had stopped smiling. This wasn’t a joke, apparently. “You don’t seriously think I would have let that happen, right?”

He shook his head, and his voice was sunny again. “No, you’re right. You’re completely incapable of making mistakes. I should have known. Why did I even bother to ask?” He sat up and got off the table. “What’s the time?”

“It’s half-past eight.” 

“Well, I’m exhausted from doing nothing all day.” He held the lollipop like a cigarette between his teeth. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yes. I’ll take you to your room.”

Still, she was a little put-off by his sudden distrust towards her. There was something almost caustic in his cheerfulness. Maybe she was overthinking that. He was probably just acting out to get attention, the same as always. She decided to push it out of her mind and focus on other, more immediate issues. 

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Taglist:

@theelvishcowgirl

@lthrboy

@whumpy-wyrms

@yassifiedinformation

#whump #lab whump #whump writing #my writing #Spiderwebs toyybox #immortal whumpee #I have been seeing a lot of lobotomy-related things lately and I was inspired #yayyyy #🧠 #for context Heather speaks Spanish but Jackie doesn't #Jackie speaks French but Heather doesn't #benefits of being bilingual I guess ? #I wanted to write something more lighthearted but the next chapter will be a lot more plot heavy #I'm sure they will be fine haha don't worry about it

[straykats]

tbh like. we dont have enough time. i know this isn't new and unheard of but we really don't have time. like. i need to go to school and i need to work and i need to eat but where is my time to cook and enjoy it? where is my time to enjoy the things i need to do? i want to cook and read and write and paint and i want to sew but i want to enjoy it; i don't want to have to do it because i need to survive, because if i hone the skill/s, i can make money off of it. i want to do it and not need to meet expectations other than mine. i want to do it for fun and because i love it and i want to do it for the people i love and i don't want them to feel like they should repay me or anything. i want to do alterations for you because i love you. i want to tailor clothes for you, make them for you because i love you and i love creating things. i want to write something for you not to prove to anyone that i can write but because i want to show you that i will create for you. i don't want to do things for others to validate my own actions. i dont want to do it so i can be told that i'm good at it and/or that i should make a career, a side hustle out of it. i just wanna do it for funsies fr

#kat talks #literally gonna go insane #im writing a review for an assignment and im doing it on the dress i made #but like. in hindsight a lot of the reactions i got were like #wow this is so good you should do this as a side job #or like wow this is such a good lifeskill to have #yeah both are true and relevant in this day and age but like. i had so much fun making it and i barely get to talk about that at all #idk if this is a cohesive post man i just want to scream #i also don't wanna do my review on my dress anymore idk who i chose it #but too late i cbb changing and restarting #i also talk about atla in this HAHA bc katara says 'what does being a girl have to do with sewing' and i actually watched that ep while i #was sewing and find it an interesting thing to have happened #okay anyways back to my assignment sigh

[itspileofgoodthings]

.

#struggling big time with questions of likability and popularity and school environments and social environments in general #and what it means and just feeling faint and sick at heart about it all right now #in many ways this 5th year has kind of …. idk solidified things at school for me? and also solidified my reputation #but with not flying under the radar anymore and not being someone that people can write off anymore #comes a whole host of new problems #and weights and difficulties #and I don’t know. there’s a wrestling I always feel internally between my (very great) desire to be liked #and my desire to be a good and fair teacher apart from that #and the ways that I fail #and then there’s other people’s insecurities opinions and jealousies #to contend with. such as they are. and then there’s just the way that I feel on the inside most of the time #which is actually not loved or liked at all! there is a deep loneliness in my soul #kind of always. but especially lately #but it’s contradictory to what it seems #I also just LIKE flying under the radar while also being someone who is drawn to occupying a space to speak #and be heard from #and it’s just all a lot and I am so very tired #idk just having some Friday night venting. it was a very tough week. I am tired and I am sad #I also for real just need to cry

[lopsidedtreetrunks]

Happy 10th birthday to The Song Ever

#guys can u believe its been 10 years i feel so old bsksdjlka #ylvis #what does the fox say #my art #artists on tumblr #sketch #gonna write a novel in the tags now so: #i havent drawn anything in a few months bc ive been dealing with medical stuff #this sketch was supposed to become a full painting and it was gonna be awesome and the composition was gonna be great etc etc #this sketch has been in my files since late june lmao thats how long its been since i drew anything #so yes i am very disappointed that i couldnt finish it but since it's such a momentus occasion I thought I'd post this mess anyway :') #I just really wanted to commemorate it as (and sorry for getting all depressing here lol) ... #... it was kinda the last thing that brought me a whole lot of joy before a lot of shit started going on in the family that basically ... #... ended my childhood (metaphorically) #anyways i loved it when it came out i listened to it constantly along with their song stonehenge (which i still listen to occasionally hjsd #and truckers hitch when that came out about a year later i think #ANYWay sorry for rambling and being a sad little guy in the tags lol enjoy the art and listen to the song :D

[divinekangaroo]

a home painted bright with blood and thorns - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | (COMPLETE)

After the S4-S6 election/marriage, pre-S5. Some months into Tommy and Lizzie's marriage.

This frequently absent father and husband considers that he often does his best work in extreme circumstances: time pressure, resource constraints, situational uncertainty, high stakes, and gross emotional wounding. He knows what to do, doesn't he?

No matter what sort of internal spiralling disaster cascade he's busily ignoring inside. No matter what badly considered spur of the moment decisions he makes to get through the moment that he might pay for later. No matter what—

.

Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark, Charles Shelby, Ruby Shelby, Arthur Shelby, Frances, Various Shelby Household Maids, Charles Strong, Cyril the Dog, | Domesticity, Intimacy, Menstruation, Bodily Fluids, Bodily Solids, Bodily Functions, Babies, Lactation, Mental Health Issues, Repression, Abusive Families (Past), Attempts at Communicating, Trying Hard, Family Trauma, Family Feels, Nail-Biting, Household Dynamics, Absent Father, Avoidance, Deflection, Trying Sooooooooooo Hard, Distress, Comfort Sex, Dysfunctional Family, Contraception, Spiralling, Intrusive Thoughs, Mild Paranoia, Grief, The Lasting Legacy of Catholicism, Fear of Mental Illness

.

#peaky blinders #my writing #peaky blinders fanfic #tommy x lizzie #charles shelby #ruby shelby #arthur shelby #Guest Starring the Ghosts Of (Mrs Shelby)(Alfie Solomons)(Grace Shelby)(all them other hauntings on the January) #the many times i weave sabini's assault into things; of all the horrible matters inflicted on tommy it's *that* one which burns me #i think it's because S2 is where the things done to him and that he is forced to do collapse the possibility of his recovery #so it's almost as if childhood was being forced to line up for war; wwi was being forced to climb the cliff; #s2 is where he's kicked off the cliff despite him clinging on all season; then it's all hitting the rocks on the way down from then #this was a fascinating writing experience because i handwrote it all first in one week late Feb then did a type-up and detailed edit #still contemplating what this experience has taught me about writing mediums/forms #certainly i could not do it with longer chapters but i *could* do it with a longer story #seems 2500 words makes a decent scene/chapter size of managable editability on a progressive basis #i know lots of fellow writers do the 'why do you talk so much about wordcount just write' but when time is limited the size/format- #-significantly impacts my ability to be productive. like the difference between doing a full scale wall mural versus a handsketch i need to #-match the form to the available window to produce the form #(remembering that one time i did a full wall mural: duration measured by all 6 seasons of X-Files running in the background whilst doing it