#yeah i too would’ve said he is the best choice for the country *cough cough*

[ririkutai]

Saeran AE Good Ending Choice Walkthrough

Hello everyone! I’ve decided to share the walkthrough on Tumblr as well, because I received a message about reddit being blocked in some countries! I wasn’t aware! So here! Cheers!

I've since edited the guide to include some the Sad Endings, Bad Endings, Normal Ending, as well as the good ending. Currently this guide sits at 9/10 total endings for Saeran's AE. I've included chat times, save locations, as well as choices. If anyone complies the guide and shares it elsewhere, I'd appreciate a shoutout as this took some time! Feel free to @me anywhere as Ririkutai <3

The way to get Bad Ending 1 is by taking Rika's side and not wanting to leave Saeran's side. The trigger lies somewhere between day 2-3, but I'm uncertain of the specifics.

Cheers!

Day 1:

There are two sad endings on this day!

SAVE HERE! DON'T DO ANYTHING YET!

Time: 00:00 x2

Strange Meeting

· I’ll bring Saeran with me for the meeting

· Let’s save that part until Saeyoung returns

· Saeyoung owns all the rights

· Please be safe, Saeyoung

· I have a bad feeling about this

· Do you think the leader of Mint Eye is related to this?

· Did we, Saeran?

· Saeran, my sweet

· But first, we should discuss how to save…

· Is V still gone?

· Something’s fishy

· Make sure you check V’s luggage!

· Be careful on your way!

· We should keep our eye on V

· Let’s stay alert, Jaehee

· For some reason, I’m kind of uneasy

· What are you doing right now?

· I’m nervous, too

· I hope we can take plenty of pictures in the future

· I love you, too

Story Mode:

· Where is V?

· We never fight. I trust Saeran (Saeran Heart)

· Well, I did talk a lot

· Maybe it is her…

· I know it feels weird, but you must free yourself from your past

· Saeran, don’t you think we should tell them?

· What are you thinking?

· Is there anything you know about Saeyoung’s whereabouts?

· Try holding breath just a bit longer

· V… Why are you doing this?

Please Wake Up

No choices

Story Mode:

· Wake up

· Try to wake up

· Saeran

· I held my breath, like you told me

· I’ll help you

NOTE RELOAD THE PREVIOUS SAVE AND Select all options that aren't doubtful, don't hold your breath like Saeran suggests, fall like everyone else, and be sure not to move in the hospital. This triggers Sad Ending 1

Time: 9:45

Can We Trust Him?

· I don’t think I can rest, when I…

· I’m kind of tired…

· By the way, is there something wrong with the…

· Was it a hacker!?

· Could it be the secret agency...?

· Does that mean we need to be careful…?

· Traitor (Saeran heart)

· So you handed over the information of this…

· What did you expect? You tricked us.

· Prove to us that Saeyoung…

· And you are trying to pull Saeran into danger (Saeran heart)

· Are you talking about Rika?

· No! He will never do that! (Saeran heart)

· He’s gone again | (Selecting, "Maybe he really wants to help you." Gives a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the rest of the route)

· But you can’t let yourself get into this (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting, my love (Saeran heart)

Time: 11:23

Did She Change?

· Come on out, hacker! Fight me! | (Selecting "Go away, V!" Gives you a Saeran heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· Oh, a bad guy! Time to say hi

· He knew we won’t ever trust him again

· Are you still obsessed with Saeran?

· And you’ve done horrible things to Saeran

· And you expect me to believe that?

· Sounds like you are inviting him into a trap | (Selecting "I must admit, you are persistent." Gives you a V heart, but I'm uncertain how it affects the route)

· You really don’t give up do you?

· Fact remains that you are far from normal (Saeran heart)

· No! Stay away! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode:

· The question is whether you should make... (Saeran heart)

· So, are you going to save Saeyoung?

Time: 16:05

Rika and V’s Reunion

· Rika! You can’t stop our love!

· Are you here to tell Saeran to leave again?

· Do you have any idea how bad she hurt Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You should first explain about Rika | (Selecting "How is Saeyoung?" gives you a Saeyoung heart, uncertain how it affects the route.)

· Do you know Saeran does not have a family picture…

· But Rika's standing is very different from... (Saeran heart)

· But what about you? What about your life? (V heart)

· You do need balance for a relationship as well

· Are we witnessing the birth of a new savior...? (Saeran heart)

· It’s the prime minister isn’t it? | (Selecting "Could it be the agency?" gives you a V heart.)

· We will save everyone!

· There’s no doubt V, Rika, and the prime…

· Yay! Let’s talks! Just the two of us!

Time: 17:57

Rika’s Selfish Happiness

· What are you plotting with…

· I will go with whatever Saeran chooses (Saeran heart)

· He might leave by the time the rest of RFA…

· But we are always together (Saeran heart)

· Are you sure you have reunited with V?

· So nobody ever saved V (V heart)

· Maybe you wanted people to recognize you and tell you...

· That's good, but... V looked desolate

· What do you really want to become?

· Cough, cough calories

Time: 19:11

Secure Chat Just for Us

· Hey, we’re back

· Good job. Now lets use this room…

· What? Doesn’t that mean our enemies are huge?

· Of course you are… We have four bad guys…

· That's right! Let's go save Saeyoung! (Saeran heart)

· Then let’s get going! (Saeran heart)

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· What if your trauma returns? (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart though!)

· I remember both of them (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart still!)

· I love you, Saeran

· This might turn out to be reckless (Saeran heart) | (Both options give a heart. This boi is full of love)

NOTE RELOAD YOUR PREVIOUS SAVE AFTER SECURE CHAT JUST FOR US And select "Then let's leave. Let's leave everything, instead of saving Saeyoung.", "Yes.", "I'll be fine. I want to be happy with you. That's all I'm asking for." To receive Sad Ending 2

Time: 20:44

Different Perspective on the Past

· Rika… You’re back

· I’m not sure if this is the best time…

· Do you remember what it was like back then?

· Were you happy even without Saeyoung?

· I guess you did miss her. You didn’t separate willingly… (Saeran heart)

· Family is not something you can replace like objects...

· Now I’ll be your family (Saeran heart)

· You’ll be a great parent (Saeran heart)

· Alike? How?

· You are still obsessed with him?

· Saeran is not like you (Saeran heart)

· It feels like you’re inviting us into a trap

· She might make you her prisoner…

· Can’t we stay a bit longer?

· Okay

Story Mode

· Don’t you think we should head straight to this…

· V provided his apartment to them?

· V would’ve thought everything by himself…

· It’s the agency!

Time: 21:56

Unbelievable Peaceful Chit-Chat

· V? What brings you back here?

· How come you own that place?

· Did you get scammed by any chance?

· I’d thought you plotted it

· I think it’s fake news

· But the prime minister and the agency are attacking..

· Jumin will be beyond shocked (Jumin heart)

· That’s where the root of all evil…

· You brought someone else to that apartment?

· I’m so glad Jumin did not turn out like…

· A dark magician!

· Do you think this news will be highly detrimental…?

· It’s not a good thing to play deaf to what you…

· Can’t you give me one last clue…

· If only Jumin…

· One day you will pay

Story Mode

· What is this place?

Time: 23:05

The Most Important Thing

· Saeran? You’re gone

· I’m fine. When I’m with you, my joy… (Saeran heart)

· Why not break through the windows?

· What do you think will happen to us… (Saeran heart)

· I hope by tomorrow at least one…

· Regardless of the truth…

· Do you think the other members of RFA…

· They’d be shocked mostly by the fact…

· But I chose to come with you (Saeran heart)

· Yes. Because we will never stop loving… (Saeran heart)

· You are also important to me, Saeran (Saeran)

· Please be safe, my darling (Saeran)

Story Mode

No Choices

Day 2:

There are two Sad Endings on this day

Time: 00:23

Unexpected Guest

· Saeyoung?!

· How did you get in here?

· Saeran! We have an intruder!

· Let’s find out what we can from him!

· Are you here to hack this room…

· Do you know Saeyoung?

· Charlie the 3rd?

· Is Saeyoung safe?

· Is Saeyoung in mortal danger?

· Are you going to tell the agency…

· Tell us something! Anything is fine!

· I think you were

· No! Please, help us! (Saeran heart)

· My heart breaks whenever I think (Saeran Heart)

· And you will make that promise (Saeran heart)

· Are you telling him to instead save himself?

· But we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives…

· Are you going to report everything from this…

· But let’s not give up (Saeran heart)

· No, I’m gonna wait for you! (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No Choices

SAVE AFTER THIS STORY MODE

Time: 2:22

How to Use Vanderwood

· Is that why you wanted us to log in…

· I don’t think that guy is very thorough…

· Vanderwood betrayed the agency! Like this? (Saeran heart)

· What if he’s stupid? What if he…

· I know you said that because you care… (Saeran heart)

· That’s right. He might help us once he… (Saeran heart)

· And it was all because Rika brainwashed…

· I’m sure Saeyoung was also manipulated by false information (Saeyoung heart)

· It must have been awful after you… (Saeran heart)

· Back then you were not ready to…

· I’m also getting this strong feeling.. (Saeran heart)

· I also had a feeling they…

· Please help us once, Vanderwood! I know… (Saeran heart)

· And a good expectation will manifest… (Saeran heart)

· Please!!! (Saeran heart)

· Nah, you’re the only one who thinks…

· Yeah, and now let’s get busy with our…

Time: 8:00

Zen is Awake!

· Zen!! Are you awake??

· I’m just grateful you are awake

· Maybe Saeran and I shouldn’t have left (Saeran heart)

· Could you please report it to the media?

· That’s right! Bring it on… (Zen heart)

· Not yet… It might be a trap

· It turned out the agency is…

· Don’t be disappointed with yourself

· Thanks for trying to look

· Okay. Now we are going to save…

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Yeah. Are you?

· Yes. I am not letting you go by yourself

· Are you the boss…

· We were told you will be in mortal danger…

· What kind of deal did you…

· You mean you’ll send them to…

· You want them to live caged lives…

· Saeyoung… You’re sacrificing yourself… (Saeyoung heart)

· But we cannot leave you here, Saeyoung

· We don’t have a choice. There’s nothing we can do…

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ZEN IS AWAKE And select: "This seems familiar...", "You can go ahead...", and "Okay." To receive Sad Ending 3.

Time: 9:45

Vanderwood’s Suggestion

· Vanderwood?

· Are you here to help us?

· How do we know this isn’t a trap?

· Your agency is a nightmare

· But won’t you get in trouble…

Story Mode

· What do we do now?

· But he just won’t care for himself

· Do you think we can trust Vanderwood?

· Let’s do that. For some reason I have…

· Let's put our faith in him. We're not leaving...

Time: 11:37

Saeyoung is with Rika

· Why are you here?

· Is it because you were scared…

· He wanted to save his brother

· You kidnapped Saeyoung!?

· Poor Saeyoung… He was manipulated (Saeyoung heart)

· I will never forgive the agency

· But the prime minister might…

· What drug?

Story Mode

· Saeyoung told the agency about the top secret…

· Are you sure we can trust you?

· Is it to put him to sleep?

· I have to be away from Saeran? I…

· Why would you do that? That’s exactly what happens in…

· I’m scared…

· Why don’t’ we go back to the hospital and… (Saeran heart)

· Why don’t we go back to C&R and…

· …No. We’re in this together (Saeran heart)

· I'm going to keep you safe, Saeran

Time: 13:15

Jumin Han is Here

· Rika has Saeyoung.

· Sorry. I can’t tell you (Jumin heart)

· Wow! I knew you’d be fit! (Zen heart)

· I bet you felt betrayed

· On a scale of 0 to 10

· Is your father really related to

· You mean you might lose..

· He didn’t betray us. He’s become his father’s… (Saeyoung heart)

· Did you hear anything from Saeran?

· What’s your secret?

· But you must have an emergency plan..

· I understand… You have lost…

· But if you put yourself in his shoes

· Let me know once you hear something

NOTE RELOAD AFTER THE STORY MODE FOLLOWING UNEXPECTED GUEST, AND SELECT ALL OPTIONS THAT INSULT/DOUBT VANDERWOOD. Do not agree to let Vanderwood help you. Do this to receive Sad Ending 4

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran right now?

· What do you mean, you lost the other…

· Why did you bring me here?

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

Time: 15:33

Vanderwood in Trouble

· You tricked me! (Saeran heart)

· Whose side are you on?

· Couldn’t you let both of us go?

· What do you mean?

· What happens if you get…

· Admit it – You’re a nice person

· But it’s adorable… I really want to see (Saeyoung heart)

· You’re returning the phone?

· Run and survive!

Story Mode

· I hope Vanderwood will be alright

· Saeran will never give up

· You are simply trying to make your dream… (Saeran heart)

· RFA might expose everything about

Time: 18:00

Rika’s Request

· Jumin, cheer up…

· They’re not coming

· Don’t you feel guilty?

· Yeah, unlike you. (Saeran heart)

· You were a great actress (Saeran heart)

· But do you really need those twins..

· But you cannot decide how they will (Saeran heart)

· I believe Saran will save… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran, if you read this… Don’t ever give up (Saeran heart)

· Just who led Saeyoung to the agency….

· Do you feel anything about RFA…

· Jumin will feel so betrayed (Jumin heart)

· Just because you say sorry… (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… I’m okay. (Saeran heart)

· V… Does that mean I cannot…

· Thank you, V (V heart)

· V… Are you really okay with everything..

Time 19:00

RFA in the Corner

· I’m waiting for Saeran

· You took in that gas again?!

· Maybe it’s a bluff

· Well, it’s not a perfect time for him to chat..

· I feel so bad for the twins…

· The agency is no easy opponent

· And we have no way to prove that we’re the good guys :’(

· That was a very brave…

· No talking on the messenger!

· How is Elizabeth 3rd? (Jumin heart)

· Maybe we should do that…

· We should stay away from…

· Calm down, Zen

· As soon as you do that he’ll be knocked…

· It’s okay. Don’t worry

· Vanderwood?

Story Mode

· Do you think Saeran will be here?

· Look behind

· Okay, okay…

· But you won’t be happy if someone tries to control

· Saeyoung? Are you awake?

· But he needs you

· Tell me.

· But how? You don’t have the right…

· I’m scared. That phone is the only tool you have…

· V, please… You have to help us

· V, you know this isn’t the answer

Time: 21:02

Why We Need Saeran

· You are so cold-blooded!

· Until when will the agency…

· Do you think he’s watching the messenger?

· Are you going to tell him to be silent and come find you?

· He will never give up… Not while he’s alive

· The problem lies with the life in a box (Saeran heart)

· But I don’t want to leave Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· This is too cruel… Finding this place…

· What are you gonna do now?

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 23:13

Did RFA Give Up?

· Did you hear anything from Saeran? (Saeran heart)

· You’ve made an excellent choice (Saeran heart)

· I feel bad for you, Zen (Zen heart)

· Is there really nothing else we can do?

· Please stay healthy, Zen (Zen heart)

· But we need Saeran here first

· :’(

Story Mode

No choices

Day 3:

Time: 1:02

Rika Wants Saeran

· The RFA won’t be using…

· They suffered a lot regarding…

· The agency is the biggest problem,

· You might think it’s protection, but..

· I wonder where Saeran is.. (Saeran heart)

· Maybe later

· No thanks lol

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 6:04

A Ticket Unused

· Saeran!!

· Are you safe?

· Are you really coming here?

· I love you too! (Saeran heart)

· You should be happy with me

· Why would you say that? I’m scared (Saeran heart)

· You’re gonna be here?

· But right now, we have to focus on surviving (Saeran heart)

· Okay… I’ll remember that

· Great! But...

· Okay… I’ll stay awake and wait

Story Mode

· I’ve missed you

· [Munch munch]

· If you keep making fun of me, you’ll pay for it

· No, we deserve to be happy

Time: 8:51

Saeran is Here

· Saeran! But this channel…

· Rika… Please let Saeran in…

· What took you so long?

· I think they’re putting him…

· We should be true to ourselves… (Saeran heart)

· But now RFA has nothing…

· I bet Rika doesn’t want to…

· She’s the seed of all pain!

· Are you avoiding the subject?

· One we reunite, I never want to…

· What freedom?

· You don’t want to repeat your past

· But Rika wouldn’t like that (Saeran heart)

· You hate Rika and V, don’t you? (Saeran heart)

· Okay, if that is what you choose… (Saeran heart)

· I’ll be waiting

Story Mode

· You should trust Saeran

· I’ve missed you

· Can’t you let me stay…

Time: 11:11

Rika’s Return

· Rika, where are you?

· You didn’t torture him, did you?

· Maybe he’s going to hurt them!

· Saeran will cause no harm (Saeran heart)

· I’m going to run with Saeran

· Ugh! I hate what’s happening!

Story Mode

· Do you have to do this?

· Saeran… wake up

· It must have been shocking and sad (Saeran heart)

· Saeran… one day you’ll be free and we’ll be… (Saeran heart)

· Only me and Saeyoung? (Saeran heart)

· What do you mean you’ll

· Why?

· RFA didn’t give up on you

· So did you make it?

· It’s too dangerous (Saeran heart)

· No, let me distract them!

· If Saeyoung brings down the agency..

· ….

· This so sad

Time: 12:48

Weight of the Past

· I’m so sad…

· And you left Saeran like this..?

· Hi, Saeran...

· Can I have your voice instead?

· Did you have to go this far?

· Saeran decide to leave past in the past (Saeran heart)

· It’s a good thing you left Magenta..

· Saeran changed himself. (Saeran heart)

· Trying to repeat a happy past can sometimes serve as greed

· She's not mad is she?

· You should reconsider (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 14:07

It Will Hurt, But We Will Be Happy

· Saeran! This is our love channel!

· Do we have to do this? (Saeran heart)

· I have a feeling we will fail (Saeran heart)

· Do you think they’ll get…

· But I don’t think I can live without you (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t leave me

· …

Story Mode

· Sniffle

· She might turn violent

· You can’t decide what Saeran will be like

· You are right… But please don’t die

Time: 16:25

I’ll Have None of This

· It’s a sad night

· Saeran’s will reached my heart (Saeran heart)

· To be honest, you’re…

Story Mode

· Feel what?

· But I want to spend as much time as I can

· I’ll be right back

Time: 17:55

I Promise You Will Be Happy

· Did you guys have an argument?

· I want you, Saeran (Saeran heart)

· Get one for Saeyoung (Seven heart)

· Do you have 2 tickers that will get us out?

· About what?

· No! Saeran is mine! (Saeran heart)

· Do you think you can make it someday?

· I’ll be having fun with Saeran

· What should we do now?

· Are we the only ones that know about this room?

· You mean including Jumin and Zen?

· I’m sad, too… Is there really no other way? (Saeran heart)

· Clouds? Why clouds?

· So your freedom was...

· Can’t you let me stay here? (Saeran heart)

· This is so sad. I don’t want to leave

· I was so happy I could meet them (Saeran heart)

· If you love me, why are you making me sad? (Saeran heart)

· Let’s think about a way to keep you safe?

· Yeah!

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 19:09

Rika is Changing

· I’m glad you released Saeran

· I think you mean tonight (Saeran heart)

· I want to live with just Saeran

· Do you think you can take another betrayal?

· I’m glad things loosened up

· Saeran is my love (Saeran heart)

· Please don’t stab Saeran… (V heart)

· Whatever happens, I hope you’d be happy, Rika

· I think I need someone to cleanse my head…

· Unlike his father

· If that’s what you want, you must one day…

· I’m glad I got to meet all of you

· Rika hurt your eyes…

· How long do you think this happiness will last? (Saeran heart)

· Do you think her hope is real?

· Is it related to Saeran?

· It’s okay. Saeran is strong (Saeran heart)

Story Mode

· Can’t I come with you?

Time: 21:39

The Weight of Truth

· V talked about this secret

· I don’t want to leave him

· Is Saeran okay

· What did you guys talk about?

· The death of their mother?

· Can’t you just stop

· You are pretending to be nice

· You can’t do this to him

· We must find Saeran! (Saeran heart)

· At least you didn’t wait any longer…

· You would still feel painful

· But that does not justify murder

· He didn’t talk to me

· You have until 11

· I’m so disappointed in both of you

· Saeran, are you okay?

Story Mode

· I don’t want to go

· Please don’t do this

· Please tell me you will survive

Time: 23:00

Rescue Plan

· Are we getting started?

· Is it okay to leave Saeran?

· Saeran

· I can't believe I must leave him... (Saeran heart)

· We’ll be back for Saeran, right?

· Saeyoung and Saeran didn’t even get to talk

· The prime minister won’t get to..

· What press conference?

· Thank you everyone

Story Mode

No choices

Day 4:

There are 3 bad endings, and one bad relationship ending on this day. The Normal end and Good end are also on this day.

Time: 2:16

Escape – Success!

· Saeran, I’m okay! (Saeran heart)

· I miss you Saeran

· I’ll be waiting

· I think I’m going to wait for Saeran

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

If you see "Story Mode: Savior" here then you haven't received enough hearts with Saeran and will trigger his Bad Relationship Ending (I feel this is the ending that brought most of us here, lolol... Help my heart.)

Story Mode

· I’ll go by myself if I have to!

· I’m coming with you!

· I will find Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER ESCAPE - SUCCESS! And select: "Looks like there's nothing we can do...", "I think I'll stay here..." To receive Bad Ending 2

Time: 5:55

Vanderwood and Zen’s Argument

· Vanderwood, does this mean...

· You guys have such cute…

· You mean Yoosung?

· Looks like you have a lot of history..

· Come on, let’s be friendly

· Do you think Rika and V are not aware of this?

· I really hope Saeran is safe

· That’s what I heard

· I’m fine with anything as long as..

· I really hope that’d be the case

· Is there really no master key to get us

· I hope Saeran is okay…

· You kicked him out…

· I hope he can find a miracle for us

· Okay…

Story Mode

No choices

Time: 8:24

Saeyoung is Back

· Any news about Saeran?

· Are you gonna sign...

· It was so beautiful (Seven heart)

· I hope Saeran is safe

· Could you tell him I love him? (Two Saeran hearts)

· I’ll do that

· Good luck!

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· The security’s changed…

· V, where is Saeran?

· Follow V

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER SAEYOUNG IS BACK And select "Don't follow V" To receive Bad Ending 3

Time: 10:00

The Last Discussion

· Yoosung, are you okay?

· If you get to see her again…

· Like me and Saeran?

· Welcome Jumin

· We can beat them

· Do you think sweet and sour

· Please, go ahead

· But some people become stars without

· Yeah, but it won’t be easy

· So, Ray…

· Life

· From imprisonment to…

· That we are all responsible

· It’s so good to…

· Thank you for your sermon

· Let’s not lose ourselves

· Whatever it’s about good luck!

· We won’t be lonely if we’re together

· Hopefully I’ll get to…

· He is… He’ll be okay

SAVE AFTER THIS CHATROOM

Story Mode

· Where is Saeran?

· Embrace Rika

· But now you will change

· Go save Saeran

NOTE RELOAD YOUR SAVE AFTER THE LAST DISCUSSION And select "(Don't go save Saeran)" To receive the Normal Ending.

The Final Episode

· Saeran!

· Please stay alive

· He’s gotta be somewhere around here! I can feel it!

· He’s around here. I know

· I must go

· Leave the rest and run

· Saeran, please don’t go

· I love you

· Now you should be happy with me

· Wake up!

· Pity

· Saeran and Saeyoung simply wanted

· Your lonely heart…

· Saeran will forgive you…but

· You will pay

· I’m sure you had something…

· But can’t you see?

· Does survival matter that much?

· You must be so lonely

· We must get him to a hospital!

· Saeran, hang in there!

· Saeyoung, please

· Hopefully Saeran…

· But Saeran forgave him

· Okay. I’ll let you know once he wakes..

· Saeran?

· What is it?

· Are you saying…

· Saejoong Choi!

· Why did you find…

· Did you have a change of...

You’ve made it! Select whatever you like!

#mysticmessager #saeran choi #mystic messanger #mysticmess #saeran ae

[reedandannie]

Scholars Sneak Peek!!! - Available Sep. 14th 2020

Embarrassment at its Finest - Evie’s POV

I clutched the envelope tightly in my lap, my heart pounding. When the drive started it hadn't felt real, it was just another road trip with my best friend, another drive across the country in the old red car that we'd been taking places since we could drive. But now, so close to our first year of college, it all set in, and I was beginning to feel the panic that I always felt when facing the new and unknown. Before, I'd been annoyed that Stella had insisted on driving, but now that my hands were clenched around our move in information, I was relieved. I probably would've driven the car off of the road by now.

The gates seemed to materialize out of nowhere. One minute there was a wall of trees on either side of us, the next, we were pulling through them. Stella turned off the radio hastily, and we exchanged a look that conveyed everything that needed to be said. We were both caught between terror and excitement. We had been studying to earn places at Pine Hill University since Stel had first found out about it. Freshman year of high school, a long four years ago. And now, here it was. I turned to watch the wrought iron pass behind the car, open for move-in day.

"I can't believe this is happening," Stella breathed, looking over at me with awe in her eyes.

I turned back around to stare across the campus. The open grounds looked exactly like they had on the website, dotted with elegant brick buildings and lounging students. I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or vomit, but I swallowed hard, determined to enjoy this moment.

"Do you have the map?" Stella asked, and I jumped.

"Oh, yeah, of course." I rubbed my sweating palms over my jeans before opening the envelope and removing the brightly colored map inside of it. I studied it thoughtfully for a moment, trying to make sense of the little road markings.

"Left," I said finally, then cursed. "No, I mean right."

Stella quickly changed directions, making a wide turn which caused a few of the nearby students to turn and stare at us curiously. I flushed and Stella laughed, clearly both unsurprised and unconcerned about my shoddy directions. Naturally, she was used to them by now, but she had taken away my navigation rights within the first hour of our multi-hour trek.

It was fortunate that this hadn't been part of the entrance exams. It was one of the few things that hadn't been tested. Everything from basic math and history to strange questions about how we would respond in panic, and where we felt most comfortable. Stella and I had failed it the first two times we'd attempted, but we were nothing if not stubborn.

I was torn from my thoughts when Stella slowed down. "Is that it?"

I looked up and stared in awe at the brick building in front of us. There was ivy climbing the walls, violently green against the red. Black letters above the main entrance read "Grove Hall".

"It looks like it," I answered, as she pulled around to park.

I stepped out of the car onto the gravel parking lot and looked around, mystified. The wall of trees was close behind the dorm, the sound of the wind among them quiet and soothing. On the other three sides, though, well-tended grass stretched away to other distant brick buildings. It felt secluded and idyllic, and I beamed.

"Are you two here to check in?"

I looked around to find a tall brunette approaching us. She was smiling warmly, and I glanced back to find that Stella was as well. I couldn't find it in me to copy the expression, I was too overwhelmed by how magical campus felt, and I knew my face was stuck in a look of shock and awe.

"I'm Emilie. I'm a sophomore here. I can help you move in if you'd like?"

Stella and I shook her extended hand.

"We don't have much," Stella answered, "but you're welcome to. I'm Stella, and this is Evie," she said, nodding to me.

I waved shyly over Stella's shoulder.

Emilie waved back as Stella opened the trunk to reveal our meager belongings. We'd been instructed to bring very little. The school was strict about uniforms, and supplies and furniture were provided for us. As a result, we'd packed five bags between us, mainly our casual clothes and the decorations we'd bought for our dorm.

Emilie lifted one of them out, and Stella and I each followed suit. They weren't heavy, but after lugging them up two flights of stairs to the top level, my arms were aching. I had never been strong, and I felt particularly out of shape in that moment. But when Stella opened the door at the center of the hall, I stopped thinking about any of that.

Emilie whistled quietly when we entered. The furniture was standard issue, the wooden beds, desks, chairs, and nightstands neatly arranged in a perfect mirror on either side of the room. In the center, directly across from the door was a large picture window, tucked into an alcove. A window seat between them was recessed into the wall, an ugly blue dorm cushion on it, indicating that it was intended for seating. We would have to find a way to cover that.

The room itself was wide, with a closet door at the foot of each bed. When Stella opened one, I realized they were already full of our uniforms.

"You guys are so lucky, this is the best room on the floor."

"How did we manage that?" I asked quietly.

"It's a random draw. Freshmen are given their choice of building, but rooms are assigned from there," Emilie answered, dropping the bag she was carrying beside the door.

"I'll go get the other bags," Stella announced.

I turned, closing the door. "I'll come."

"I'll come check in on you guys in a second. I need to make sure the other freshmen are settling in okay."

I grinned and nodded before following Stella back down the stairs.

"She seems nice," I noted.

"I wonder if she's our RA. I hope she is."

I shook my head. "Our RA emailed us. I think her name was Jenna or something, not Emilie. She's probably just helping out, being nice." She shrugged, clearly preoccupied by other thoughts, and brushed her golden hair out of her face. I smiled fondly. There was a nice breeze blowing across the parking lot, and I savored it, glad that it was chasing away some of the heat. It was sweltering now, but I knew this wouldn't last forever. Colorado got cold and snowy fast, so I was glad for the sun while we had it.

I was so busy contemplating the weather that I didn't notice where I was until I was tripping. I pitched forward, crying out in shock as I slammed into the gravel, cringing as it dug into my bare arms.

I looked up curiously and realized that I had just tripped over a person's foot. Stella, I saw, had run straight into the center of the small group of people that were leaning on a car close to ours. She was staggering backwards, face reddening as she realized what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention," she said, looking up wide-eyed.

I stumbled to my feet and brushed dust from my jeans. It was a small comfort that I had chosen today to wear pants instead of my usual skirts. "I'm so sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?"

And only then did I register who I was looking at. They all looked more amused than upset, but I froze nonetheless, feeling like a deer in the headlights. They were all tall and attractive, five of them lounging carelessly around a shiny car, smiling, wearing casual clothes and looking unfairly polished despite the heat. And we had just slammed into them.

"I..." I coughed uncomfortably, "I'm so...are you..."

"Don't worry about it," one of them said in a strange accent, his voice lilted with laughter. Stella took another step backwards. By the looks of it, she had just plowed straight into him. But he grinned, eyes bright, and I hastily looked away, feeling as though I shouldn't be allowed to look at him at all in my current state.

The one I'd just tripped over leaned closer to my face, as though looking for injuries, then grinned. "I didn't know people could turn that red," he remarked. Though there was no malice in it, I could have barfed.

"I'm sorry," I said again, my voice painfully small.

He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked back onto his heels. He was dark haired, with bright blue eyes and a soft, round face. He looked backwards at the boy beside him, a broad ginger with warm dark eyes and square features. He looked older than the others, though judging by the way that they were clustered, I doubted that they were in different grades. The red-headed boy was leaning against another person, who was slender, their features more feminine, and eyes rounder. They regarded me with what looked like concern rather than amusement, and I stared at them pleadingly. They seemed to recognize the look at once.

"Leave them alone," they said, looking at me warmly.

The blond boy in front of Stella pouted. "Laney, where are your manners? We're just trying to make them feel welcome."

"Laney's right," the fourth one said, and I peeked up to look at him cautiously. His hair was almost as long as mine and fell in perfect dark waves around his face.

"Alright, get outta 'ere, no hard feelings," the one I'd tripped over said softly. I smiled faintly.

Stella darted around them to our car, and dragged out the last two bags. I took one from her as she slammed the trunk and we dashed back indoors without looking back. We took the stairs faster than I normally would have managed, but my eagerness to be back in our room felt like adrenaline. We dropped the bags carelessly inside the door and hurried across to the window.

I heard someone come in behind us.

"Are you two okay? You look like you just saw a ghost," Emilie said, voice full of concern.

I waved from the window to indicate that she shouldn't worry, but Stella was the one who spoke. "Who are those guys in the parking lot?"

"Who?" Emilie asked, joining us at the window. Her face hardened as soon as she saw them standing by the car. The blond one was clearly telling a story, talking dramatically with his hands, while the others looked on.

"Them," Stella said unnecessarily. The parking lot was otherwise unoccupied.

"Nobody, they're just people from my year. I wouldn't try to get too close, they're bad influences."

"But...who are they?" I asked, leaning close enough to the window that my breath fogged the glass.

"Like I said, just some people," Emilie reiterated.

I scowled, unsatisfied. "They're very pretty," I said, and I saw her glare at me out of the corner of my eye.

"You guys really should try to avoid them."

"Warning noted," I said, nodding once. "Don't worry. They won't look twice at us anyway after the spectacle we just made of ourselves."

"At least I stayed on my feet," Stella snickered.

I felt myself flush. "At least I didn't body slam any of them."

"This isn't a joke."

"Everything's a joke if you laugh at it hard enough," I answered.

Emilie sighed, clearly realizing that we were a lost cause. "Alright, fine. But, you've been warned."

We both nodded and turned to watch her leave.

"Lunch is in an hour," Emilie said, as she stopped in the doorway. She glanced at our bags, still unopened and piled in the middle of the floor. "If you want to unpack you can, but you need to get your IDs before you can get food from the Cafeteria. Do you want me to take you to get them?"

I looked at Stella, who was considering the bags as well. "We can unpack later," she decided. "I think it'll be better to get IDs first."

"We can go now."

Emilie started to nod, then stopped. "I don't mean to say that you guys don't look adorable. But, they'll be taking your school pictures, and, well, those do stay with you all four years... So if you wanted to freshen up, or change or anything..."

My hand flew to the mess of unruly curls around my face. "Oh, uh, I think I need a minute." I dove to the bags to try to find a mirror and a hairbrush.

Stella laughed. "Give us 20 minutes and we'll be ready?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll be back then."

I heard the door close behind her, but my hunt for something to tame my curls had absorbed me.

"She's really nice."

Stella nodded agreement. She was looking through one of the bags, brow furrowed. "She is really nice. Have you seen my makeup bag?"

I grinned and pulled it out triumphantly. Stella took it from me with a grateful smile.

"Twenty minutes," I told myself, finally finding a brush.

Stella laughed at me, sorting through her makeup bag. "It's always food with you."

"It's what motivates me. But don't lie. It's what motivates you too."

After a moment, Stella grinned "You're right."

"I know I am."

Straying Along With a New Friend - Stella’s POV

I yanked on my heather grey, lighthouse painting sweatshirt and 1460 Dr. Martens that I paired with ripped-knee boyfriend jeans. I brushed my hair before I attempted to stir Evie awake. I knew that there would have to be coffee in it for her. We'd stayed up late unpacking and deciding where to put the decorations to showcase our personalities.

A polaroid collage of us surrounded the wall space by the door. Fairy lights trickled down by the head of Ev's bed, and a poster of a woman superhero hung on the larger wall by mine. I'd stacked my CDs by genre on my desk with my single player beside it, and Ev had chosen to bring her favorite novels, which was a feat for her. There's no solution for the window nook cushion yet, though Ev is pretty sure she can sew a temporary cover for it.

"Five more minutes, Stel, please," she mumbled into her pillow.

"We told Emilie we'd meet her. I bet we can manage to find coffee before we do."

Ev rolled over to look at me through her ratted hair. "Fine."

I smirked lightly before I went to put on a little make up and pull my golden locks into a ponytail. I checked the weather to see it was actually supposed to be fairly hot today, so I quickly changed into a white tee that was decorated simply by a row of three hearts in pink, blue, and purple and light wash Levi's shorts.

Despite my change, Evie dressed herself in a cream sweater, light wash skinny jeans, and purple sneakers. I knew not to say anything as we left the room. I texted Em that we were going to find the cafe on the crowded campus; non-freshmen were moving in now, and would be for the next few days. It wasn't as hard as expected since there were signs that pointed to everywhere imaginable, and it wasn't a large span of mileage.

"Crap," Ev muttered when she saw the sign that IDs had been activated for points, which are the equivalent of dollars, and I eyed her.

"Need me to get yours?" I pulled my ID from the wallet that I had hanging on my lanyard.

She smiled sheepishly. "Yes. Anything hot."

I nodded and waited for my turn. I ordered two caramel macchiatos; one hot and one cold. I was glad they weren't that busy despite the chaos on the main. The two of us stood to the side by the student center, the newest built building, and compared to the other medieval bricks, it didn't match too well.

Emilie's resting features came into my view when she emerged over the hill. When she approached us, she let out a heavy sigh. "I'm glad I moved in when the other RAs did. Fewer people."

Evie and I laughed, but Em didn't seem amused and looked at us dumbfounded. "What?"

I shot her a look. "That was funny, Emilie."

"Oh," she trailed, and then a smile crept onto her lips. "Let's get going. There's more to show you about this campus."

I cocked a brow at her and took a sip of my coffee, yet didn't question as we followed her.

"What else is there to know about Pine Hill that's not in the brochures?"

"Or for educational purposes?" Evie added as she blew into her cup and took a drink.

Em pursed her lips. "The hangout spots near campus. There's also camping, hiking, hot springs-"

Ev waved her hand for a second and pried the cup from her lips. "Is there anything that's not outdoorsy?"

"You came to Colorado and are not an outdoors person?"

"Yeah." She shrugged.

She smirked lightly and uncrossed her arms. "The library has good reading nooks, the science hall has some of those as well."

"You're not an outdoors person either, are you?"

"Not really, but I'll do it if I have to."

I held my drink in the air. "Here, here! To be honest, I don't mind it."

Evie snorted. "She's being modest. She loves the outdoors and all that. Her dad takes her on a canoeing trip every year."

"That's great! Does your mom go too or no?"

I smiled tightly and looked at the ground for a second. Evie's hand immediately encased mine and gave it a squeeze.

I cleared my throat. "Uhm... No, she passed away when I was a kid."

I was six. I only remember it being that age because I was sitting in my first grade class, all excited for the new year, and the teacher was pulled aside for a moment by the principal. Then my teacher came over to me and said I needed to go with the principal, and take my backpack too since I wasn't going to be returning. My classmates thought it was unfair that I got to leave. How ridiculous was that? Of course, my little mind didn't understand how horrible cancer was or understand why my mom was in the hospital all the time. Or understand why when she was at home I wasn't allowed to roughhouse with her. She got pale so quick; she was bald in most of the vague memories I have of her. Eventually, she stopped fighting and that day was a day my dad lost part of himself.

It was weird growing up without a mom during the years I got older. There was no one to teach me about make-up or the "girly" things. I didn't have that woman figure in my life; that was until I met Evie in seventh grade. It was just my dad and I for as long as I can remember. He definitely always put on a game face; there were nights I caught him crying and that was out of character. After Evie convinced me to go to the prom our senior year, my dad went dress shopping with me and helped me pick out that emerald green gown; he said that my mom would've loved it and that was the first time I ever cried about her passing. It hit hard that day; she wouldn't be there for the graduations, wedding day, baby showers. My dad really always tried the best he could and that was all I could ask for. He was both parents in my eyes.

Em's eyes went wide. "I'm so sorry. That was insensitive of me. I- My parents are divorced. I lived with my mom most of the time."

"Hey, no, it's okay. I was so young." I shook my head. "My dad is kind of like both parents, so I guess my mom does join the yearly camping trip."

Thankfully, Emilie lightly smiled. "Your dad sounds awesome. My mom is an outdoors woman. I think because she loved it so much and tried to get me to be as excited about it, it made me not enjoy it."

Ev laughed into her coffee. "That sounds like a better scenario. Mine are still together and I want to kill my mother sometimes. She's a witch."

"That's ...I can't argue against that," I snickered. "How about we go check out those spots? I've got my training to start later."

"Training for what?"

"Tennis. She's an athlete." Evie lightly rolled her eyes. Jokingly, of course.

I stuck my tongue out at her for a second. "I thought I mentioned it yesterday. I'm here on a tennis scholarship."

"I'm also here on a scholarship, but it's not athletic."

"Oh, nothing wrong with that. I know plenty of scholars. I got in by a landslide because of my mom. She's an alumni."

I looked at her thoughtfully. "Always had your heart set to go to Pine Hill? Was it the Harvard of your dreams?"

She shrugged. "Not necessarily, but it's a great college. It's what I need."

"Understandable," Ev replied, and eyed me to drop it. I got the sense it was a sensitive subject for Emilie, despite it probably being a constant question. I know I get it all the time, especially as a first year.

"So, if you're not athletic, why do you wear athleisure?" I teased.

Em rolled her eyes now, a smile crossed her lips. "It's comfortable, what can I say?"

The three of us laughed as we continued on where Emilie led us. She showed us the lake nearby where the row team practices when they're in season, and where students are allowed to swim. There were quite a few trails around that I knew I would have to try at some point. Of course, Emilie presented all of the nooks to Evie before we stopped to go eat dinner.

I held my right foot to my butt and then did the same with my left before I stretched forward to touch my toes. As I straightened back up and sat down in the grass to stretch my muscles more, I caught someone's eye.

It was the long haired brunette from yesterday. The one who hadn't teased us. He waved with a warm smile and I felt taken aback. Was that to me?

I looked around and I was the only one in this direction. I made an awkward wave to him and went back to my stretches.

That was kind of weird.

I took deep breaths as I pushed my foot against the tree I was under to stretch my arches. It was a distance run rather than sprints. I only ever do sprints right before the season starts. It was only day two and classes haven't even started, but I can't slack. That just wasn't in my nature.

I stepped through the open gate onto the track where it was occupied by a few others. I gave myself a few jumps to get my blood pumping more, then began the laps. I tried not to pay attention to the others because it would only psych me out of my comfort zone. I focused on the feel of my feet hitting the asphalt, and kept my breaths level.

It was only my mind and body connecting with the track; it was sort of like a trance. The first eight loops were the easiest part of the twelve. The last third was always the hardest.

"Hey!"

I barely slowed from surprise, but brought myself back to the previous pace. My eyes met the guy from earlier once again. Why was he talking to me? I didn't think he wanted to, or any of his friends.

I gave him a pressed smile. "Hi."

"You run?" he asked as he kept with me now.

We rounded one of the crescents. So, he wasn't going to stop any time soon. I wasn't sure how to feel about him yet. I didn't even know his name and I was pretty sure he didn't know mine either. I knew I shouldn't completely cancel him as a possible friend. He seemed harmless.

"Not for fun," I replied.

There was so much ease in his steps. He did have the advantage of long legs, so I could only assume my pace was nothing for him. I mean, it wasn't like I was super fast.

"What for then?"

"Tennis. You?"

He smirked. There was a laugh mixed between his heavy breaths too.

"Track and field... I'm a high jumper."

I gave him a look. "Not much... Running in that."

The smirk returned. "Caught me... I enjoy it."

"Right," I laughed breathlessly. I looked ahead of us; we weren't alone on the track. It was a great day for the distance. I guess I didn't mind the company. My eyes wandered back to the guy jogging with me, for whatever reason, and assessed his attributes. He did have the long legs and wide, buffed shoulders.

I cleared my throat. "I bet your height... Gives you major advantages."

"Not really." He chuckled. "I have to be careful about how... I carry my body over the pole."

I snorted and wiped under my nose as I slowed down to a walk. "Sure, I can understand that... I guess... What's your name?"

"Edward."

"Stella."

He smiled cheekly. "It was nice jogging, Stella. Maybe we can do it again."

I felt my heart lurch into my throat and I swallowed hard. "Yeah, maybe."

I walked off the track to do some quick post-run stretches to fend off any soreness and went back to the room where I'd left Evie and Emilie. They were sprawled out in the nook and observed others out the window. I'm positive that when they put in this large window, it was not intended to be for people watching.

Ev pointed at someone else. "What about them?"

Emilie laughed. "Arthur. He's in the science department."

"He's cute. Maybe I'll see him around."

"I don't know." She shrugged, her voice monotone. I could only guess how long Ev has had her doing this. Em looked back at me. "How was the workout?"

"I met Edward. He's from that group we ran into yesterday. You know, the one you said to avoid."

Em raised her brows. "I didn't think he'd be over there."

"Neither did I. He's a high jumper for track and field. He ran with me for a bit."

"A high jumper? The ones who launch themselves over the bar?" Ev questioned.

I nodded. "Yes...or they'll be disqualified."

"Wouldn't that actually be difficult for someone his size then?" Emilie questioned now, no hint of sarcasm.

I thought about it, and back to his own words, "Yeah, I suppose so. He seems to be a better fit for a sprint relay, or distance. He kept up so easily."

"Wait, so are you guys, like, running buddies now?" Evie mused.

I scoffed, "Doubt it."

"Good. I don't want to warn you again," Em reiterated and stood up. "I'll see you two sometime tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Later, Em," Ev and I chimed with waves.

"I'm going to shower," I said.

"What am I supposed to do then?"

I laughed under my breath. "Read?"

"Yes," she replied, then grabbed a book and sat back in the window nook.

#Scholars #Pine Hill Trilogy #First book #Book 1 #YA #Ya novel #Mystery #Scifi #Fantasy #LGBTQ #Authors #writers of tumblr

[eerythingisshaka]

The Coffee Prince XI

*Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3*  *Part 4* *Part 5*  *Part 6* *Part 7* *Part 8* *Part 9*  *Part 10*

(T’Challa x Reader)

Word Count: 5.2K

Warnings: Violence, Grief

Sitting in Shuri’s lab, you get a moment of peace as she cleans your wound and works a salve over your gash that hardens to a comfortable gel-like bandage to hold your skin in place.  

“That should do the trick.  Should’ve put that on you before.”  Shuri says, removing her environmentally safe gloves.

She hands you a canteen of water and some bread for you to eat.  “Thanks.  It probably would’ve been just fine if it wasn’t for a certain disturbance.”

“Oh yeah, life is funny that way.  And just so you know, your vitals still look good.  Everything seems normal from what I can tell.”  Shuri pushes some options on her interactive wall.

You swallow hard in surprise.  “You didn’t even hook me up into anything or poke me or anything this time!”  

Shuri smirks, looking back at you like a grandmother about to school the youth.  “(Y/N), don’t forget where you are.  Things aren’t the same here as America.  Now some poking would be nice to get a full scope but we don’t have time…”  Shuri studies her kimoyo beads, saying something under her breath as she walks away.

“Where are you going?”  You ask, finishing up your snack before you get up from the table.  The flip of your vital records disappearing from the wall in front of you as you walk over to an opening positioned right across from the falls.  The Dora Milaje have Erik in cuffs, awaiting the start and appearing as cool as ever standing in the rushing waters.  T’Challa is nowhere to be seen just yet.

“Don’t worry yourself over that.”

You turn around swiftly at the sound of a melodic voice carrying beautifully across the lab.  Donned in a green leather outfit, bantu knots crowning her youthful face.  Nakia looks as if she’s never known a day of stress in her life, floating atop all the issues of the world.

You clear your throat, feeling diminutive.  “Uh, well, I wasn’t.  I am just trying to get myself prepared for what is to happen.”

Nakia purses her lips.  “Has anyone explained the ritual that is about to take place to you?”

You shake your head slightly.  “Just that there is a fight...whoever wins is King.  Right?”

Nakia holds her hands in front of her, the only sign of anxiety reading on her.  “That is the short and sweet version, sure.”

Her knowledge began to irritate you.  “I’m sorry, but...who are you?  You aren’t dressed like the Dora and I just wonder how I should address you properly.  You weren’t here for the big raucous earlier.”

Nakia looks at you with sincerity.   “Oh, I know.  I rushed as fast as I could when word circulated, however.”  Nakia closes the gap between the two of you holding a hand out but stops short of touching your face.  Your head moves away from her hand involuntarily.  “I am very sorry for overstepping.  I just...how did he do this to you?  I thought he was under surveillance.  How did he get past the Dora?”

You touch your head lightly near your wound.  “It wasn’t something anyone was expecting, that’s for sure.”  You laugh a little too hard, feeling the soreness around your throat.

“Bast, were you choked?!”  Nakia leans to view your neck.  “You have bruises-”

“Nakia, I really don’t want to talk about it right now.  Sorry, just...Shuri is supposed to be down to escort me to the falls and that’s all I’m focused on.”

Nakia nods with a slight bow.  “Of course.  You’re still early in your pregnancy, I understand.  Shuri is notorious for her impulsive fashion changes-”

You stammer over her to cut Nakia short.  “Wait, wait.  You know I am pregnant?  Was there a, like DECREE told about this that I missed out on?”

Nakia blinks a couple times in surprise of your reaction.  “No but T’Challa told me in confidence-”

“How do you know him?  Are you family?”  You ask, voice rising slightly.

Nakia sighs.  “No.  We really shouldn’t dig into this so deeply-”

“Ok!  I am ready!  Sorry, my braid was not cooperating…”  Shuri adjusts her braided bun and she adjusts her embroidered and leather bound corset marching down her winding staircase before looking up and reading the room.  “Uhh...are you two ok?”

You sigh exasperatedly.  “I was talking to...Nakia, but I’m confused.  She knows everything about me, but I know nothing of her.  T’Challa told her I am pregnant so I imagine she is something special here but she won’t tell me!  Shuri, would you tell me?”  

Nakia starts.  “(Y/N), let’s-”

“I said SHURI!”  You exclaim, holding your stomach to remind yourself of what is still most important.  You take a few deep breaths and Shuri hustles to your side, holding you.  

“She is a family friend.”

“And that is all!”  Nakia says desperately.

“T’Challa and Nakia grew up together, since they were babies they knew each other.  He still confides in her from time to time, it’s only naturally he would fill her in on your condition.”

You begin to calm down slightly.  “I know, I know.  God, I’m just...so tired…”  You feel the crash of embarrassment smack into you as Nakia an Shuri shush you with reassurances.  You appreciate the confirmations that you are indeed not crazy and just being a normal, stressed out, hostage survivor who is pregnant with a genetically enhanced monarch of a secretly advanced country.  Regular, day to day stuff.

Nakia, Shuri, and a few Dora Milaje take a heliplane over to the Falls; across the plains, over the canyon, toward the sunset.  The beautiful golden rays against the pinkish sky juxtaposed your impending dread.  What if T’Challa got hurt really, really badly?  Maimed and no longer King all because of you?

Exiting the heliplane, Nakia leads you and Shuri off, heading straight to Queen Mother who gives her a generous hug before glaring in your direction.

“What is she doing here?  This is not for her to see in her current state.  What are either of you thinking?!”  She begins to speak to a Dora with a directive before Nakia stops her.

“Queen Mother, she insists on being here.  She is of sound mind to make that decision on her own, we can’t belittle her.”

“I am not belittling!  I am protecting her because she has been through enough upon arrival here.  I would never have authorized her to be here!”  

“Mother, she is already here.  What else can we do?”  Shuri says meekly.

“Send her back!  Put her in the offices in the downtown headquarters!”  Queen Mother says through her teeth.

“Queen Mother, I am fine.”  You say with a slight smile as evidence.  “I want to support him, I want to see him through this fight.  I assured him to show up for it, I should be here watch it play out.”

Queen Mother holds your hands.  “Daughter, you don’t know what you may see.  This is a tradition passed down throughout the centuries in determining who runs this kingdom.  If he loses, you could easily be caught up in the crossfire.”

“But he will walk away.  His pride may be hurt, but he’ll push through like whomever lost before him.”

“Most of them are dead, dear.  It’s difficult for most to yield with pride.”  She says ominously as the sound of another aircraft approaching kicks up wind around them.

“Wait, this is life or death?”  You question as Shuri sets you down beside her on a rock.  “Shuri, it’s either give up or die?”

Shuri has her arm wrapped around you, rubbing your shoulder.  “No lives will be lost today.  T’Challa has you here to inspire him.  And after what Erik put you through, he won’t hold back a single blow.”

A second heliplane hovers over the water as a staircase descends.  T’Challa walks out slow and steady holding a weapon and a shield.   Nothing more covers his body save for a pair of shorts.

“Does he get any armor or something?  He can’t fight Erik with just a shield and sword!”  You whisper harshly to Shuri.  

She pat your hand, growing impatient with your questions.  “Erik will have the same things to make it fair.  No guns, no armor, just hand to hand combat.”

Okoye uncuffs Erik’s wrists, who rubs them as he sneers at T’Challa, picking up his weapon of choice.  A shaman walks toward the middle of the two of them, speaking in Xhosa.  Shuri translates to the best of her ability.

“That is Zuri, he is like the master of ceremonies.  So now, he has a bowl that is like an antidote for the powers of Black Panther.  T’Challa has to drink that.”

You scoff in frustration.  “So no he has no armor, no gun, no suit and no powers??  Shuri, this is setting him up to fail!  These rules can’t be bent?”

Shuri looks at you.  “Have a little more faith than that, (Y/N)!  He earned the throne this exact same way before.  He knows what he is doing.” Shuri cheers T’Challa on as he coughs and strains from the effects of the antidote.  You were already regretting having to see him like this.  The pain has already begun before the match has started.

“Agh!”  you squirm from a sharp pain in your side.  Queen Mother hears you.

“Do you need to exit?  I’ll call Ayo over-”

“No!”  You say, holding up a hand and breathing deeply.  Your face softens when the pain subsides as you look up to see T’Challa looking back at you mouthing if you are alright.  You nod with a thumbs up, clapping and cheering him on as Zuri gives a final word, striking his staff down to initiate the battle.

What follows is an assemblance of might and anger between the two.  Each strike of metal against metal made you jump a little more than before.  Erik was too strong with his hits, hammering down on T’Challa with an unnatural agility for his size.  T’Challa was not weary, intelligently moving on the defensive and wearing Erik’s acrobatics down.

“He’s got this…..He’s got this….”  You whisper softly, rubbing your stomach subconsciously as you watch in awe of his fighting skills.

“You’ve got this T’Challa!”  Shuri whoops from the top of her lungs.  Queen Mother is speechless as she grips Shuri’s hand for support.  

Erik makes move to stab T’Challa, but T’Challa saw this move coming, using his shield to strike Erik’s hand back before lunging toward Erik’s face.  Erik leans away but moves back too soon, catching the edge of T’Challa’s blade against his cheek.  Erik stumbles back slightly, touching the wound in surprise.

“Yield!  This can be settles another way, if you would only yield!”  T’Challa shouts.

“I ain’t a ‘yield’ nigga.”  Erik snarls, coming back with a barrage of strikes for T’Challa to block.  It’s like the fight has started all over again, with Erik having so much energy come back to him.  

“Snap out of it T’Challa!” Shuri screams.  Her directive makes you nervous.  Is he about to lose?

Erik and T’Challa are toe to toe going at it when all of a sudden T’Challa is brought to one knew, exclaiming in pain.

You jump to your feet.  “No…”

T’Challa raises his shield block a second attack, before standing again.  A series of blocks ensue before you hear T’Challa wail again in pain, pushing Erik back.

“T’Challa!”  You yell out without regard to what’s happening.  Shuri takes you by the shoulders.  

“Shuri, he needs to yield.  He can get a do-over.  I don’t want to see him get stabbed”  Your thoughts are interrupted by a gasp from the crowd as you see T’Challa on his hands and knees in the water.  Just as T’Challa begins to stand, Erik’s foot meets T’Challa’s face.

“NOOO!  YIELD, PLEASE!  STOP IT NOW!”  You scream out as Nakia holds you back.   Shuri is frozen, face blank as her mind is in another world.  Queen Mother grabs ahold of Shuri before wailing and pleading herself.

“This ya King, huh?  This-”  a swift kick to the gut interrupts his taunts.  “THIS YA KING?!”

T’Challa is at his breaking point, completely out of it as he struggles through the pain to get up, much less defend himself.  Erik readies himself over T’Challa, hovering the blade above T’Challa’s neck like a golf club preparing to tee off.

“No.”  Queen Mother utters.

“Bast, please.”  Shuri sobs.

Nakia’s arms leave your body as her hands shoot up to her mouth, covering her mouth in horror for what was about to happen. Why wasn’t T’Challa yielding, you thought.  Is he actually going to accept death for his position here?  Wakanda can’t possibly survive under Erik’s crazy hand.  And you had no intention on raising a child who would never know their father and his culture.

You aren’t sure when you started or even if you were truly moving.  But once the scene of T’Challa about to be beheaded came closer to you in slow motion.  

“Stop!”

You couldn’t feel your heart beating, your breath becoming labored.

“Stop her!”

As the water splashed around you, your jaw stretched almost to the point of dislocating.  What came out is a blur, but before you know it, Erik was turning to face you, sword trained in the air.  Your body suddenly felt cold under his glare as his hands released the sword, turning towards you.  You hadn’t stopped yet, you wanted to collapse over T’Challa to protect him, to call an end to the fight once and for all.  You didn’t care about tradition or royalty, he was your love and you weren’t about to watch him die.

Your gaze fell to his back, T’Challa was just beginning to crane his neck back and look towards you when it happened.  Erik didn’t let you pass him by before he sent a wave of pain to your gut.  You fell into his arms weakly as your breath was forced from your lungs.  Your vision darkened at the edges as you felt your body being forced backwards, landing in the cool waters.  Erik’s image stands over you smiling as you feel hands grabbing your arms and dragging you back.  You still can’t think coherently about what has just happened to you, or if you were even alive at the moment.

Sound pops in and out as your ear had filled with water upon your fall,  but a spattering of shouts made it to your understanding as your consciousness waned. Some man in fur swings a long club over Erik’s head sending him down with an awful thud.  Your eyesight fades in and out as you see T’Challa.  One blink, he’s up.  Next blink, T’Challa is straddling Erik rearing his elbows back to force his fist practically through his face.  Final blink, the fur man pick T’Challa up under his arms.  You aren’t sure if a new fight is about to begin, but no one seems to stop him as the Dora carry Erik off and others along with Queen Mother and Nakia try to calm a fervent T’Challa...

----

“Come on, Beanie Baby, he won’t be long.  Please behave!”  You walk around Wakanda’s natural landscape with your beautiful, yet fussy infant in their stroller.

T’Challa lays his hand on yours resting on the bar of the stroller to stop you from walking further.

“Do you think maybe we should go back home?  I don’t think-”

“Beanie needs some fresh air.  Three weeks in doors is long enough!”  You assert, unbuckling your baby to pick up.

T’Challa pets their head as they suckle on their fist, whimpering.  “Hungry, are we?”

On cue, your baby begins to wail again, unsatisfied with their current state.

You tut at T’Challa.  “Why did you have to bring that up?  I’m a walking refrigerator 24/7.”

Your baby’s crocodile tears run down the sides of their face as their brown little face twist in frustrated toothless wails.  You work your breast from your specially made shirt, angling your swollen nipple to your baby, whose mouth eagerly seeks its nourishment.

T’Challa holds your back, observing.  “That’s better, isn’t it?”    He coos, holding your baby’s hand as they suckle on you.

“Yes, Beanie Baby!  Baba and Mama love you so much.”  You say sappily in your baby’s face.

T’Challa stands back a little, looking at you.  “Are you ever going to say the beautiful name we picked upon birth?”  He says sarcastically.

“Ohhh, one day.  We know the name, it’s been blessed and sung and praised by the whole country.  But to me they will be my Beanie Baby until I am old and bent over.”

T’Challa pushes the stroller as you walk with your feasting baby.  “What you said about Bean needing some fresh air...you meant yourself as well, right?”

You sigh, looking off into space.  “Of course I meant me.  I have been soooo stir crazy in the palace.  I mean  don’t get me wrong, you’ve made it so comfortable for me and I love every minute with the baby and of course I had to heal up cuz I pushed too hard during and I swear I’m trying to be a good mother but-”

“Eh, eh, shhh…”  T’Challa stops in his tracks, turning to you, placing a hand on one side of your face.  “You are exciting yourself too much.”

You feel tears beginning to brim over as your baby unlatches from your breast.  T’Challa takes the whimpering baby over his shoulder, patting them firmly on the back as you clothe yourself.  

“I know, it’s been like that lately.”  You wipe your tears away sniffling.

T’Challa’s eyes soften in understanding, standing close to you.  “You don’t have to hide your feelings, share them with me.”

“I know, I will.  I’m sorry.”  You sniffle.  The baby lets out a hearty burp that breaks the emotional tone of the scene.  You ‘aw’ as T’Challa smiles, congratulating Beanie in Xhosa, holding them up and kissing their cheeks greedily.  

Setting the baby back along his shoulder, bouncing their little body along as he pushes the stroller along.

“You know, when we first met, what I enjoyed about you?”  T’Challa asks.

You puff out your cheeks in thought.  “Uhh, that we both enjoyed coffee?”

He smirks, shaking his head.  “No, not even close.  What I like is how bold you are.  How open you are to letting me in, despite our differences or whatever doubts you may claim to have, you never showed your worries to me.  It seemed to come natural to you.”

“Yeah, I just really wanted to talk to you that badly.  You seemed nice enough, not like the creepy regulars.”

“Phew, thank Bast for that.  However, the same thing I like about you, can also be something that leads to problems between us.”  He adds.

“What’re you talking about?”  You ask.

“Like all you just told me.  For three weeks you’ve been suffering and I haven’t been any wiser for it.  I never knew and that is scary.  I mean I knew you were tired, we all have been, I just didn’t expect the possible psychological toll on you.  Don’t be polite with me, be open and honest as you always have been.”

You nod, mulling over his words.  “Yeah, I think I’d call myself the truthful one in the relationship.”

T’Challa groans.  “I swear, you know everything now, and you’ll know everything as it comes from here on out.”

He smiles at you, pausing your walk to take your hand with sincerity.  A soft snore from your baby fills the silence.  T’Challa gently lifts the baby to lay them back in the stroller.  

“Chacha, I want to be honest with you.  But I’m hard headed so, just be patient with me.  If you can do that, I’m sure I can find the words to tell you how I feel quicker than usual.”

“We share a life, and that includes our struggles.  I will not let you fall long as I am by your side.  I won’t have it oh!”  

You laugh out loud.  “You promise?”

“On a ton of vibranium, I promise.  I will promise you when we get married next month and all of Wakanda can recognize you as Queen.  I will promise you when we have more children, and they have children and we live on in the ancestral plane.  You two are the most important beings int my life.  I have nothing if I don’t have you both”

You look into T’Challa’s eyes, enamored by his words.  The peace of the lands surrounding you both, the little life you both cared for more than anything in the world, and the love and respect between a King and a girl he loved from a coffeeshop around the way.  It’s a fairytale that writes itself.

“I guess that’s good enough, I’ll talk it over with Beanie and let you know.”

T’Challa kisses his teeth.  “You are something, having secret meetings with the baby.  Soon as the baby is weaned, I will be the favorite.  Mark my words.”

“Don’t worry, you’re still MY favorite after all.”

You reach your hands to T’Challa’s face, holding his face to study his features you loved so much, fingers finding his widow’s peak.  You both embrace sweetly under the high noon Wakandan sun, peacefully loving each other over your first born, anxious for the life you have in store with the new Kings in your life.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.  Wake up…”

---

“Uzole!”

Your head pounds as you begin to stir.  Your mouth feels dry as you begin to speak but no sound comes.  You’re about to try and sit up when your vision focuses on two figures standing at the far end of the room.  

T’Challa faces towards you but is looking down at the floor as Nakia’s back is turned to you.

“There is no need for her to hear that now, you stay by her side until she wakes and remind her what she means to you.   That’s it.”  Nakia says.

T’Challa wipes his faces before stuffing his hands in his pockets, looking up at the ceiling.  He looked good for what he went through at the fight, but he was worn down, you could tell.

“I will not lie.  As much as it pains me, I will not omit information from her again.  She does not deserve that.”  T’Challa whispers.

Nakia lays a hand on his chest.  “I promise you, one day will not hurt her.”

“And if she asks outright?  What do you expect me to say?”  T’Challa’s gaze snaps into place in Nakia’s direction, jaw tight in frustration.

Nakia’s hand falls as she shrugs.  You feel a soreness in your back that becomes more annoying than waiting for the conversation to end.  Pushing off the bed you bring your torso forward, calling T’Challa’s attention to you.

“umhle?  You are awake, glory to Bast!”  His stride brings him over in seconds as he adjusts your pillows behind your back.

“Ugh...I need…”  You croak.

T’Challa’s eyes widen in anticipation.  “What is it?  Are you in pain?  Do you have a fever?   Nakia, get Shuri at once!”

You shake your head slowly.  “It’s not….I’m thirsty.”

T’Challa sighs in satisfaction as he knows just what to do for you.  A pitcher of water sits on your bedside table, dripping with condensation.  He picks it up, pouring it slowly into a cup as you wait for him to sit beside you, holding a straw between your lips for you to take a drink.

Nakia clears her throat.  “I let Shuri know you have awakened.  She’s only a call away if you need.  Good to see you back with us.”

Nakai smiles quickly before leaving the room.  T’Challa looks you over, petting your hair gently, kissing your forehead with sweet pecks.

“Chacha, please.”  You whine, weak from exhaustion.

He sits backs taking your hand in his, studying your knuckles, fingers, nails intently.  “I can’t help it.  I promise to behave, I’m just excited to see you.”

“I’m glad to see you too.  How are you?”

T’Challa runs his hand along your forearm, massaging the softness of your skin.  “When the Heart Shaped Herb gives me back my power, it heals as well.  No harm done.”

“You won?”  You ask with weakened excitement.

T’Challa nods.  “I did, my love.  With a little help, if I remember correctly.”

“Mm, yeah.  Some big guy with furry shoulders came, right?”  You close your eyes for a moment.

T’Challa looks at you confused.  “You saw M’Baku?  I thought you were taken out by then.”

You shake your head.  “I was there, but I fell down.”

T’Challa’s thumb strokes your cheek.  “You remember how you fell?”

Your eyes open again.  “Not all the way.  I saw you hurt and...my stomach started to hurt...then I was in the water...floating away…”

T’Challa nods.  “Don’t think about it too much right now.”

You turn your head towards your cup of water, motioning for more.  T’Challa obliges without missing a beat.

“So are you just going to sit here and watch me sleep then?”

T’Challa shrugs.  “It’s the only thing I feel like doing at the moment.”

“That’s boring.”  You quip.

T’Challa snickers.  “Maybe to you.  This is the most excitement I’ve gotten all week.”

You scoff.  “The fight yesterday wasn’t fun enough for you?”

T’Challa pauses, looking around to search for words to reply with.

“What’s wrong, Chacha?”  You ask suspiciously.

“Nothing.  I don’t have anything to say to that.”

You take your hand away from him.  “You don’t want to talk to me, but you want to see me.  I’m not understanding you right now, man.”

“I would love to talk to you about so much, but-”

“What happened to Erik after the fight?”  You interrupt.

T’Challa stammers.  “That’s not the subject I’m looking to dig into.”

You rub your temples.  “But you are King, right?”  He nods.  “God, then he is dead.”

“What?!  Why are you thinking that?”  T’Challa asks, surprised.

“It’s yield, or death right?  Which I did not know before saying you could fight.  I thought there’d be a ref and rules.  Last thing on my mind was a death match.”

“I think it was implied when he took you hostage, death was on the table as consequence.”  T’Challa says in a low serious voice.

“Don’t take that tone with me!   I was there, I know how dire it was!”  You exclaim in anger.

“No, love, I didn’t mean to offend you.  I was just saying, I was prepared to risk my life to keep him from hurting you and Wakanda.”

“How would I go on without you? Huh?  You weren’t thinking straight to make that kind of decision.”

“You told me to go-”

“I wanted you defend yourself, that’s it!  Get some licks in for me, and keep it moving.”

T’Challa leans on his knees holding his head.  “You aren’t making sense.”

“Well maybe it’s the pregnancy talking, but I have a lot of shit to work through right now.  I want you to be able to hang in here with me while I do that.”

“I’m here, I will.  It’s just that-”  

Shuri knocks on the door, walking in at the same time.  “Hello you two!  Are you feeling good (Y/N)?”

You fold your arms.  “I’ve been better.  Your brother is being extremely annoying because he doesn’t want me to talk to him.”

“I didn’t say that!”  T’Challa whines.

Shuri smiles as she takes out a tablet to scroll through.  “Sounds a lot like him though, so I believe it.  I could open a second vibranium mine shaft for ever time he’s told me to shut it.”

“Aye!”  T’Challa scolds her.  

Shuri reaches into a pouch to pull out two containers of pills.  “Have her take the blue ones for discomfort, the red ones are vitamins.  She’ll still feel weak for a few more days.”

“Are those safe to take with the baby?”  You ask, reaching your hand out to look at the pills.  Shuri looks over at T’Challa and back to you before handing them to T’Challa.  “The instructions are these as far a frequency and overdose warnings, and the like.  I’m glad to see you’re finally back with us (Y/N).”  Shuri shoots T’Challa a look before leaving the room.

“I know she heard me...A few hours sleeping and it’s like I’ve been gone forever.”  You chuckle a little as T’Challa reads the bottles.  

“How long do I have to take them, you think?”  You ask.

T’Challa’s forehead wrinkles in concentration.  “Until the bleeding stops, I assume.”

“Whoa, what?  Bleeding?  I’m bleeding, where??”  You push the blanket from you as quick as you can muster, but T’Challa holds your hands down.

“Stop it, (Y/N), you can’t move your body too fast.”  He orders you.

You look up at him, you body beginning to fill with rage.  “Why?  Why can’t I?  What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing life threatening, just please calm-”

“T’Challa, if you tell me to calm down, I will lose my shit for real.  Now back off of me!”  

T’Challa releases his grip on your arms finally.  You glare at him as you sit up, taking down your blanket to look over yourself.  You look at your body under your gown to see purple bruising across your abdomen.

“Oh God…”  You begin to swing your legs over the side of the bed.  T’Challa comes over to offer a hand to help you up but you swat him away, easing yourself to standing.  You lose your balance quickly as your leg give out a moment, but T’Challa catches you.

“God, it’s like I haven’t walked in weeks.”  You say out loud.  T’Challa remains silent as you walk holding his hand to go to a long mirror by the adjacent wall.  You stop short catching a glimpse of yourself looking haggard.  Your hair frizzy and matted, skin pale and eyes darkened around the edges, one eye looking bloodshot.  

You felt your spirit falling as you catch T’Challa’s reflection in the mirror, looking at you with pity.  No hope in his eyes, no reassuring smile or jokey tone to make you feel less ugly than you looked.  His face told you just about everything you would’ve forced him to say.

Your hands fall in front you you as you ease the gown up, catching the hem of the garment in your hands as you lift it up past your thighs, your pelvis.  You were wearing granny panties covered a portion of your stomach.  Letting down the waistband you see the deep, angry looking bruise the punctuated the impact of what happened to you

Suddenly you realized this whole time you felt nothing.  No pain, not even a flutter.  You touch your stomach, willing for that sign, anything to tell you that it wasn’t so, you were delusional.  It wasn’t gone, they didn’t leave you yet, that you weren’t alone.  

You hear T’Challa saying something, but you can’t listen to his words.  A sensation comes from you between your legs that catches your attention but not what you hoped.  Looking in your underwear, you see a pad filled with blood.  

“T’Challa, call Shuri, uhh...I’m-I found the bleeding.”

“Umhle….”  T’Challa’s voice cracks.

You grab his arm, feeling dazed.  “The...the blood, it’s here.  We can’t lose Bean.”

“It’s too late, it’s been days since.”  He says.

“Bean...my beanie baby...I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.”  You sob, tears painting your face as emotion stretched your features agonizing angles.

“You didn’t!  You did nothing wrong!”

“T’Challa!! Call somebody!!  We need help!”  You scream so loud, a couple of Dora run in to survey the situation.  When it became clear you were hysterical, 

 Shuri and a couple of her lab team members came in to try and calm you.  But there was no calm left in you to manage.  It was taken from you and left you empty.  Your hopes and dreams got the best of you, and the world repaid your ignorance tenfold.

Masterlist

RagTag

@sweetpeachjones@scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@universalbri @therevolution-willbelive@you-like-this-chain @sarcastic-sunshines@airis-paris14@afraiddreamingandloving@kreolemami@lalapalooza718 @syreanne@thiccdaddy-mbaku@she-is-golden @wakanda-inspired@90sinspiredgirl@bidibidibombaclaat@sithlordslut@brujademente@chaneajoyyy@slimmiyagi @lewatigress @shesakillerkween @queentearra @fiercedeception @yaachtynoboat711 @yofavcocoa @katasstrophey @zxddy-panther @babygirlofwakanda@destinio1  @heyauntieeee @ambthegamer @savageiz@klaine15689 @nickidub718 @dramaqueenamby

#t'challa #t'challa fic #black panther au #black panther fic #t'challa x reader #t'challa x you #shakafic #fanfic

[seolastar]

05 — jeon jungkook

drabble game: “you’re cute, can i keep you?”

genre: humor

word count: 643

a/n: sorry for the very long delayed requests, i’ve been busy with some other things and am only able to do these now. hopefully i’ll be able to finish the rest before school starts. anyway, here’s a v shitty college au jungkook!

— jeon jungkook x reader

     IT WAS SUPPOSED to be a normal party, until a drunk freshman decided to turn on the 1995 movie Casper. What had been a typical college party with raging music blasting off speakers was now a Casper-watching party.

Everyone huddled around the living room, some sprawled out on the couch, some on the floor. You, on the other hand, stayed in the kitchen, scrolling absentmindedly through your phone. The only reason you were still there was because of Taehyung. Knowing the boy, you had no other choice but to bring him home later, seeing how he was bawling his eyes out at a funny scene.

You let out a sigh. Drunk or not, this was not how anyone was supposed to spend their Friday night. Not that you had anything against Casper, it’s just that had you known the night would end like this, you would’ve stayed home—alone, as always.

Like right now, and how deep down inside you wished someone was sober enough to at least keep you company.

“Hyung, I don’t get it. So that’s Casper as a human?”

Beside Jungkook, Yoongi let out a long sigh. Throughout the whole movie he kept asking questions, and Yoongi was more than done.

“Yes. Pay attention.”

“But how does she know?”

“Because he said, “Can I keep you?” He said so in his ghost form when she was asleep.”

Jungkook slowly nodded, still trying to process the whole thing. As he did, he turned to look over at the kitchen where you were. Your eyes stayed fixated on your phone screen, the brightness illuminating the features of your face.

He hadn’t had much to drink that night, but something in him made him stand up and go right to the counter you were sitting on, as much as his sober self screamed at him to stop.

You didn’t even notice when he sat down across from you. You kept scrolling through your phone, hoping something interesting would finally show up. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that he finally got your attention.

“Oh!” Slightly taken aback, you let out a small yelp. You looked to see if anyone noticed, but everyone was still busy watching—except Jungkook, that is.

“Hi.” It was at this moment he knew he should’ve stayed back and kept his mouth shut. “Y/N, right?”

“Yeah,” you nodded slowly. “And you’re Jungkook? I think we have the same class together.”

“Yeah, we do.” Jungkook laughed a little too loudly, so much that he choked and started coughing. You handed him your glass of water, patting his back.

“Why aren’t you watching the movie with everyone else?” You asked once he had recovered.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

You shrugged. “I’ve seen it plenty of times. I’m just here waiting for Taehyung.” As if on cue, the boy started bawling into tears again, this time into Namjoon’s shoulder.

Beside you, Jungkook was stifling back a giggle. You looked at him questioningly, only to finally make him burst.

“What’s up with you?”

“N-nothing,” he continued to laugh. “It’s just—your face was so cute. You’re cute.”

Thinking he was probably just drunk, you decided to ignore it, but apparently he wasn’t done.

“Can I keep you?”

This time, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Excuse me?”

The laughing immediately disappeared as Jungkook started to blush madly. “Oh, n-no, I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Did you really just use Casper as a pickup line? Is that really the best you can do?” If you weren’t smirking at him like that, he probably would’ve run away and fled to another country, but seeing that you were amused, he took this chance to be bold.

“Well, can I?”

#drabble game #bts imagines #bts imagine #bts scenarios #bts scenario #bts reactions #bts reaction #bts reader insert #bts humor #bts #bangtan #jeon jungkook #mine #dixie's writing #humor #requested

[connorpilmanwriting]

short horror: step

My father was an addict and an abuser. An unquenchable well of addiction and violence ran so deeply to the core of him that the foundation was cracked long before I came along. She’ll never admit it, but I know my mother hoped my birth would calm him down. Though, it didn’t. And she’ll never admit it, but I know she resents some part of me for that. But she loves me more than she resents me and would never put such an unreasonable weight on her own child. She wanted what was best for me, despite her shortcomings. My father, however, wasn’t as reasonable a person.

Around one-thirty in the morning on a weekend in early October I heard pounding on the front door of our new apartment. My mother was working the graveyard shift. They’d been separated for seven months. It couldn’t have been anyone else at this hour, rapping on the door with such force. He’d handled marriage and fatherhood poorly, and forced bachelorhood wasn’t treating him well either. Without my mother to reign him in during his sudden and random bouts of lucidity, my father had slipped off whatever edge he thought he was skirting and was now at the bottom of his own lonely well.

It was a prison of his own making. Drinking, drugs, abuse. Choices rippling into other choices. That’s what I was thinking when I opened the door, phone in hand. My father usually recoiled at the sight, since communication meant exposure; he was essentially black mold to my mother’s sunlight. But not today. Whatever coursed through his veins gave him more courage than he ever had sober. I barely opened the door when he charged with force, knocking me into the wall parallel to the entrance.

“Get up,” he said, waltzing past me and into the apartment. “We’re going on a trip.”

“Where?”

“Disneyland. Get packing.”

His words weren’t slurred. The syllables didn’t sound strung together with tar like they so frequently did. He was clearly on something, though I couldn’t tell what. I didn’t want to get close enough to look at his pupils. Whatever it was gave him an extra edge, instead of dulling his preexisting one. He was as cognitive as he could be while still under the influence. This was my father at his most dangerous.

In the brief moment I was given to pack, I grabbed the first clean items I could find. Extra underwear, a bra, a flannel and some jeans were all thrown into an empty garbage bag. He started yelling when I stopped in the bathroom for toothpaste and tampons. He even took my phone. With the clothes on my back and a garbage bag filled with the barest necessities in the bed of his old pickup, we sped off into the dark of night.

He blared music, old cassettes that were already outdated by the time he was my age. Bygone country and swing punctuated our drive into the black autumn wilderness that started just south of town. I knew about these woods. If I went missing here, I wouldn’t be the first. Maybe that’s how they’ll get him after I’m gone. That was the closest thing to hope I felt as the dark of rural night pulled us into its gaping maw.

Once civilization was well out of our rearview, my father pulled onto a path so decrepit and hidden I jumped thinking he was veering us into the tree line. A near unrecognizable dirt road lead us deeper into the forest for far too long. “I used to bring girls out here. Back before you. Before your mom. I’d sneak off on school nights to see girls with nothing more than a six-pack, this class ring, and my baby blues. They did the work for me.”

Whatever boyish charm he supposedly had was long gone, pillaged by years of self abuse. Now he looked 15 years older than he was and smelled like a broken air conditioner that ran on cigarettes and cheap booze.

“But now,” he started. “Now, I just…I don’t know. She wasn’t supposed to get pregnant so young. I thought I had a few more years left of something more alive.”

It stung to hear, but only for a moment, like the half second before you react to your hand getting too close to an open flame. If I truly cared what he had to say, it might’ve actually stayed with me. But the words were already fading when we pulled up to a secluded patch of empty grass nestled deep in the woods.

“Set up the tents,” he barked as he poked at the fire pit with matches and sticks.

I did as he said. I worked quickly and quietly to assemble two single-person tents. I was surprised he even brought tents. Some part of me just assumed he was going to kill me here and now. The night’s still young, I thought to myself.

Once I was finished, my father had gotten a fire going and was slumped in a folding chair in front of it. His feet were propped up on an old stereo playing his outdated cassettes. Whatever uppers he was on must’ve run out since he was nursing a bottle of brown liquor, his trademark. I sat on the cool ground, opposite side of the fire, glaring at him through the flames.

“Why are we out here?” I eventually asked, fed up with silence.

He stared into the fire for a long time. Seemed like minutes.

“Your mom got a restraining order on me. I just wanted to spend time with you…”

“You’ve never wanted to spend time with me,” I muttered.

He heard this and leapt over the flame, towering over me. He kicked up his foot, hitting my shoulder with the flat heel of his boot. I was on my back when he stepped closer, further towering over me.

“You don’t know,” he said with a long paused before spitting, “Get more wood.”

I struggled to my feet and stumbled off, tears welling in my eyes. A numbness had kept me composed up to this point. It was wearing off and the panic of logical fear was seeping in. I was stumbling through black brush, uncaring of my direction or destination. I just needed to get away, I thought to myself. I’d never felt so doomed.

Two big red eyes in the brush, glinting in nothing more than moonlight, seemed to glow brighter than everything else. Normally, I would’ve been afraid. I would’ve ran or tried to make myself bigger or something, anything. But now I just stood there, pondering what would be quicker: death at the hands of my father or at the hands of a wild animal? Fear was back in the city. Despair was the only thing out here in the woods.

“Just do it,” I said to the eyes as if they understood, “Just get it over it over with.”

I took a step closer and it remained unflinching. I could hear something akin to whimpering as I approached. When the gap between us became less than ten feet, it huffed slightly and retreated with impossible speed. I sighed, disappointed.

The ground was wet from a cool rain earlier in the day but I nonetheless filled my arms with as much tinder and firewood as I could find. I should’ve known better.

“What the fuck is any of this?” he spat, every syllable soaked in booze.

“It rained, this is the best I could find.”

Wrong words. Wrong wood. Wrong everything. I barely evaded the bottle he threw at my head. It shattered against a nearby tree. In an effort to dodge the incoming projectile, I inadvertently dropped my collected firewood into the still-burning hearth, smothering most of the flame in damp logs and twigs. I don’t know if he was still mad at my words or if ruining his fire had refreshed his rage, either way he charged at me like he did at the apartment. This time there was no door between us to dampen the force.

This is how it ends, I thought.

I rushed to his truck, hoping for the measly snub nose he often kept in his glove compartment. And there it was. In my hand. Despite its paltry size, the dense metal it was built  from made it heavy in my palm. The grip was faded. The whole thing was coated in a sooty grime. It simultaneously seemed overused and untouched. I pulled the hammer back with my thumb and swung around to aim at my father.

Logic, for the first time all night, made an appearance in the form of a flashing realization in my father’s eyes. He was standing at the rear of his truck, watching me. I hated him. I hated every inch of his being. Everyone I knew hated him. Who cared if I did him in? Would the police even notice? He had a rap sheet so long and slimy his death would be a relief to the justice system.

“Stay away from me.”

“Or what? You’ll shoot me?” he laughed, spit dribbling from the corner of his crooked mouth.

“Yeah.” I could feel the tears in my eyes. “I will.”

“Sure thing, kiddo.” He smiled. “And if you don’t, you’re gonna wish you did.”

It was a single step he took towards me. That was all it took. I couldn’t see clearly through the tears but I pulled the trigger nonetheless. He didn’t deserve precision. He deserved as blunt and as slow a death as this snub nose could give him. I closed my eyes when I pulled the trigger. The sound startled me. I kept them shut, expecting to shortly be floored by my father. But he never reached me.

I opened my eyes and he was laying on the ground. His eyes were wet now, tears shared between father and daughter. He was still there, still alive. The bullet laid him out. A red patch was forming on his abdomen. He tried speaking but only wheezed and coughed. Good. You don’t deserve any finals words, you piece of fucking shit. Then I became angry.  Angry he wasn’t suffering more and angry he wasn’t already dead.

A few steps and I was towering over him. I pointed the barrel at his head. I was so angry. The things he’d done and said, my whole life. The amount of blood, sweat, and tears spilled because of this leech. My mother and I will be physically and mentally scarred for the rest of our lives because this… filth. What did he think all this abuse would amount to? My father must’ve thought he was luckier than I was fed up. His mistake. I pulled the trigger.

I stood there for… a while. Only the rustling of a nearby large animal was able to pull me back to reality. Something big lurked nearby, drawn by the blood, no doubt. So I fired another shot, startling whatever was in the shadows. And then I started thinking.

I had till morning to sort this out. If the cops ask why I didn’t come sooner, I was in shock. And I was, after all. Shocked that I was finally free of this wretched fucking man. But after more thought, I realized I didn’t want to deal with the cops. I wanted him to stay in these woods, baggage and all. He didn’t get the right to haunt me further. It ended here and today.

So I took a shovel from his truck bed and started digging. The dirt was cold and hard but I didn’t stop digging, not for hours. Once it was wide enough and deep enough, I kicked him into the small pit. Then I filled the hole, not just with dirt but everything he had with him. Everything I didn’t need to get back into town. His hands were the last thing I saw, the fading moon catching one last glint before being hidden way under the topsoil.

When I was done, I was too tired to move or do much of anything. I found half a bottle of whiskey under the passenger seat and sipped it until my cheeks became flushed and I found myself comfortably disoriented enough to sleep.

As I wrapped myself in blankets inside my tent, another approaching animal crept into campsite. I was too drunk and too emotionally drained to care. It was probably more interested in the freshly-spilt blood. I stayed still so I could listen to this bear or big cat dig at the ground. Eventually the sound of cold dirt was replaced by strange cloth shifting. Not moving, not digging. Like it was taking off a particularly difficult jacket or something.

Eventually that particular noise ceased, replaced by the sound of animalistic devouring that echoed off the trees. The last thing I remember before slipping off into drunken sleep was sinew wetly crunching just feet away from me. Good riddance, I thought as I drifted off for the night.

∆∆∆

I woke with the most intense fight-or-flight response I’d ever experienced in my life. Somebody was here, and they were making breakfast. I gripped the snub nose that had foolishly rested under my pillow throughout the night. Slowly, as slowly as I’d done anything in my life, I unzipped the tent.

Startled, I fell back into my tent. For a second I didn’t recognize him but he was sitting there, in front of the fire, making breakfast. Clean shaven and freshly dressed, my father poked at sizzling bacon in a pan over the fire pit. He noticed my pratfall, and when he looked up at me I pointed the gun at him.

He set the fork back in the pan and raised his hands slowly.

“Can we talk?”

I panted, anxious this was some nightmare.

“I know last night was bad. It was the worst. I realize that. I’ve realized a lot of things. And I want to make them better. I want to make them right.”

“I killed you. Shot you. In the stomach.”

He slowly lifted his clean shirt, revealing a bandage wrapped around his abdomen.

“Fished it out with a screwdriver and a butter knife. Stings like a son of a bitch, but I deserved it.”

“I shot you in the head. I buried you.”

“You had a lot to drink last night, huh?” he asked, gesturing to the empty bottle in my tent. “I don’t blame you. I really put you through the wringer.”

“I killed you.”

“Almost. And you had every right. And that’s what I want to talk to you about.”

I said nothing so he continued.

“Last night was awful. And when you shot at me, something changed in me. I’m your dad but I treated you so terribly you literally wanted me dead. No daughter should feel that kind of anger or fear because of her parents. There is no forgiving or forgetting what I did. And if you finished me off, here and now, I wouldn’t blame you. I really wouldn’t. But I want things to change, for the better. You and your mom deserve better than me. I can’t promise much, but I can at least be there as your dad.”

I reacted at the mention of my mother.

“I called her this morning. She was really upset, obviously. But we talked, for a while. And she’s still really upset, but she’s giving me the benefit of the doubt this one time to get you home safe. Just this once, can I ask you the same?”

Gun still pointed at him, I let my father squirm for minutes as I contemplated my answer. I could still taste the whiskey in my mouth. It left a cotton feeling in my mouth.

“Thirsty?” he asked, pointing at a case of plastic water bottles at his feet.

As he knelt down, I straightened my arm aiming at him. “No.”

“Okay… So what do you say?”

“To what?”

“A second chance.”

I looked at his hand. I’d spent a long time staring at his ring as I buried him. Now it was gone.

“Where’s your class ring?”

“That old thing? I ditched it. Some things are better left in the past.”

I looked at the patch where I buried him. It had been dug up again and replanted, flatter and cleaner than I ever would’ve.

“Let’s try again. It’ll be different this time, I promise. Okay?”

The sun had just began to peek over the horizon, streaking low hanging light across the woods. Beams of early morning light broke through the trees, fragments of the incoming day illuminating our campsite. One beam in particular hit my father’s face, catching the slightest, most familiar red glint in his eye.

I set the gun down.

“Okay.”

For the first time in my memory of linear time, I trusted what my father had to say. Even if he wasn’t really my father.

#short fiction #horror

[luriashrine]

Part 1

I come from nothing.

It would make sense if my death meant nothing. However, my slow descent to death was done out of my own obligation for I must atone. Seeds of sins had finally rooted and bloom as guilt, weighing down so heavily upon me. That's what the priest had told me. I was too young to understand what he had meant, the true weight had eluded me at that age right up until now that is…

Forgive me… but aside from my time spent in the shrine I do not have any memories of my early days, no it's more like I don't have the luxury to have fond memories. It's out of my own accord, besides they're fickle and memories often elude me(so the priest said with a smile). I had nothing. I don't have a name, I no longer have a family or a place to call home…I am nothing, I'm just another empty existence. "I have no name," I'd often say each and every time a traveler would cross paths with me. Maybe out of pity or convenience the travelers would try to give me a name. All of them would be either different variations of the color purple or foreign language from whatever country they came from. I could vaguely remember someone naming me Vi at one point. "It's very fitting for someone with such pretty eyes," they had told me upon giving me that name. I decided I liked that name very much but sadly, I couldn't keep it. I had no right to keep that name. So I go on, nameless, walking. Marching on in hopes that I could finally reach my atonement. Travelers were rather good folks although there had been some who would take advantage of me… I am often called an "ignoramus" by many of the more unkindly travelers. I cannot read but I knew some words, at least enough to be able to speak properly yet that was a word I did not know. I've been called a "purple witch" or "blasphemous" by the more religious travelers, I could understand those two words much better and I couldn't help but agree with them. The symbol seared proudly behind my shoulder was proof of my sins. I could cover it up, it's pretty easy to do so actually. But I refuse to do such a thing. I needed to show the world one thing: that it would be best to stay away from someone like me. The mark somewhat has done its job. Some would avoid me others and others would speak out to me, blissfully unaware of the mark and its meaning. There were some who would try to kidnap and sell me off due to the once clean silk clothes I wore yet they would instantly give up once they take a glance at my marking and my wet-sounding cough. More often then not though, many would stay away from me. But it's fine, after years of my walk I am used to being alone.

"Just keep walking… you're doing great just keep going." I say with a forced smile on my face.

So I march on. The sun blares down on me, surely burning my skin in a slow and agonizing process as my feet begged for rest elsewhere than the cracks of the city's street. Yes… The City of The Wise Ones a place that once boasted of its prosperity was nothing more than a decayed shell from what it had used to be, stone, glass, and metal crumbles away as the earth rightfully takes back the city. Overgrowth was everywhere, from the cracks in the streets to the tallest building in the city. The breeze kisses my cheeks as it carries pink flower petal, the birds sing their cheerful melody as they fluttered around the city. This was the only place that was left untouched by The Tribulation. Therefore, it was one of the more beautiful place to be in, the city was silent yet there was no morbidity ( is this how you use that word?) to be found here, this silence was more soothing in other words. If not for my walk I would've settled here, live in solitude for the rest of my short life. But I must keep going. I had no right to stay in a place like this. I try to tell myself this. I try to will my legs to pass on through the ruins and onto another terrain. My legs refused to move, or rather they can no longer move. They wobbled and then collapsed beneath me. I came crumbling down to the cool grass peeking out from cracks in the streets. Once I have fallen, I felt something emerge from within me, something that I've been pressing and pressing down on for years during my walk. Regardless, that something made it's appearance as bursts of lights. The light surrounds my body with a smokey string of lovely and holy golden light follows suit.

Ah. I see. So, this is my limit then. I got as far as I could.

But I'm not done yet. There is still so, so, so much that I needed to do! Please, I need to finish this and see it to the end. Please, grant me the strength to at least finish what I have been rightfully burdened with. I don't deserve God's loving arms, not yet. Not ever. I could feel wetness gathering up near the corners of my eyes, it fell down my cheeks and a series of nasty coughs would cover my chocked sobbing. This wasn't enough. Where I am, it's not enough!  I tried to get back to my march, barely crawling pitifully to the hot streets. I could feel my long nails crack and something wet flowing from the tips.I need to go on. I need to go on. I need to go on.

"Hey, hey, hey! Stop! You've done enough."

… No. I haven't. I still need to walk on, to march towards the sacred lands. Ask for the forgiveness of our merciful God. God only grants those into paradise should they follow her rules. All one thousand and one of them to be exact. Just breaking one of her rules leads to punishment. I had broken one. Exhausted, I fall to the ground with a pain gruff with my bloody hands and feet outstretched, I lay on my back to create some form of comfort. The white light leaking out of me was gradually easing away. I heard a sigh of relief from above me and I looked up. My vision was blurred. I can't see anything except for a haze tall figure. That figure knelt down to my level all while searching for… something I suppose.  

"Oh boy… you look like shit. Here, drink some water. You're gonna need it."

I need it but I don't deserve it. So I pushed the offered canteen away. However, the owner of the canteen seemed persistent, they shoved it in my face until I finally gave in and take a swig of water. I… won't lie. It was pretty nice to feel liquid ruin down my parched throat. I was greedily taking large gulps of water, the thought of conversing with the owner never crossed my mind.

"Woah, Woah! Slow down or you'll–––"

They warned me too late, unfortunately. Drinking all at once in a fast manner, it was only natural that I would chock on some of the water.

"Yeah… ’figured this would happen. Sheesh, this always happens actually…"

Bit by bit my vision was beginning to return back. I finally looked up to see who my savior was only to find that it was tough to tell. They wore a brown cloak, nearly covering their body from head to toe. Yet the strangest thing about them was the white porcelain cat mask they wore, it had funny liking painted designs on the cheeks of it. I wish I could describe more of their funny dress, it was quite a spectacle, I just... I lack the proper vocabulary to do so. Perhaps once I complete my walk and survive, maybe just maybe I'll be able to read. A past time I always wanted to try but it was too hard for me to understand.

"Yo! You're looking a little better now," they said as they took back the now empty canteen I handed to them. "So… another person who's on the walk, huh… you look too damn young to be taking this walk. God, this is the fifth time I've seen this happen for months! What the hell is going on over there to cause so many on their walk anyway? This is some bad PR for your religion yanno, so many people would rather stay away from your cult. I don't blame 'em either, hell I want nothing to do with half of you so-called Redeemers. But here I am, helping another one out. What a joke!"

They seemed like the chatty sort. How annoying, I couldn't help but think. However, I  felt a great swell of gratitude towards this stranger. The times were I am lucky enough to come across them would make this walk a bit more bearable for me. It's not supposed to be like that, however, I cannot control my selfishness. If the priest were here… I wonder how he would react to this?

"So," they said, prolonging the word as though they were expecting something. I raised a brow at that, naturally.

"So?"

"Aren't you going to tell me your name? Or damn, even say thank you at least."

"… thank you," I said in a low mumble. I tried to get up, hoping that the water would provide enough energy to go on. Much to my distress, I couldn't move my legs. The strange masked person immediately scolded me, with some colorful choice words. A sigh and then they went back to their questioning.

"And your name?"

"Don't have one."

As per usual, this answer surely would stump them. After all, who can go around all their life without a name? I managed just fine under the watchful yet warm Priest. Why would it be so strange to not a have a name?

I'm sure they'll take pity on me and give me a new name. Yet much to my surprise, this masked person instead throw their arms behind their neck and stretched out their limbs.

"Well… that sucks," they said in a neutral tone.

How strange. But it was refreshing to not hear the pity in their voice.

"In any case, if you want to finish your walk of doom then you need to eat some food first."

"What? That’s an awful thing to say!  I'll have you know that this should not be looked down as doom rather as–––"

They waved their hand in a back and forth manner. "Yeah, yeah. I've heard the same shit over and over again. 'It's blissful, through the blessing of god, we should be grateful that god would do this for use,' blah blah blah. You Redeemers are a strange bunch yanno. If I were you, I would've taken this as a chance to run away. Screw your god, it probably doesn't even exist! And if it did… well, I'd probably go up there and punch ’em in the face asking them what the hell sorta cult it made with you poor people."

I couldn't believe what they were saying. I felt my temper rise and rise with each garbage word that would come spewing out their mouth (I hope I used that word right, I would often hear the priest say this against nonbelievers). It was then that I realized, I no longer liked this once helpful stranger. If I were to stay with them any longer I'm sure I would do something rash. So I turned away from them and struggled to stand up. They stopped their rant and quickly went over to support me.

"Yo! What did I just finishing telling you? Baby steps, baby steps! Here lemme help you."

If not for their rant I would've been grateful. But I allowed them to help me back on my legs. I stumbled for a bit, the ache in my legs were still there but with time it'll go away if I were to rest. "Thanks," I mumbled. In response, they nodded their head.

I wasn't sure where I should go from here.

#it's not much but here's a part of a oneshot i said i was working on #dribble drabble ; #i'll edit later my eyes are burning #it's not talia's story since i'm having a block at the moment as to where to take it and how to pace it #this just a test run on writing #though first person is weird as fuck!!

[twisted-broth]

United We Fall- King George III x Reader

Reader gender: female Warnings: swearing, theft, illness, violence, depression, medieval theft punishments A/n: this was so much fun to write! I may have gotten carried away a bit Word count: 3335

You made your way through the marketplace, your hood closely covering your face as you searched for something- anything- that could be good to eat. You tore down a wanted poster with your face on it as you walked passed the post that held it. Spotting a pharmacy, you walked in and headed up to the desk. "Flu medicine?" You asked quietly, making sure to keep your head bent. "High demand lately." He said. "That gentleman there just got the last of our stock." You looked to where he was pointing to see a well dressed man walk out of the store. "Thank you." You nodded and left the store, closely trailing the man. He eventually found his way down a back alley where you brought down the butt of your knife to his temple. He instantly crumpled to the ground. You stashed your weapon and got down on your knees next to him. Rooting through his pockets, you recovered the medicine and a fair amount of money. You stored your findings in your jacket and quickly left. You kept your head down as to not attract attention which caused you to bump into a firm chest. Panic set in when you saw the familiar uniform of a royal guard.

"Apologies, sir." You muttered and attempted to maneuver around him. "Not so fast, Miss l/n." He caught your arm before you could get away. "The thief? Oh no, you have the wrong person." You lied. "I don't think I do." He growled, pulling out your hand to reveal several missing fingers. "The king had been dying to see you." You grabbed your knife with your free hand and swung it at his face, leaving a large gash. He dropped your hand and you sprinted away, hoping to get back home to your sister, Arya. Before you could get a hundred feet, you were met with a circle of guards. Horrified, you saw that one of them held a sword to your sister's throat. "You let her go." You growled, your grip tightening on your knife. "She's innocent!" "Yes, but you're not." The guard said. You sighed. "Listen, she's sick. Let me give her this medicine and I'll go with you, no complaint." You held out the vial of medicine. The one with the sword nodded to another who came forward and took the vial from you. "Wait!" You fished out the money you had stolen, "This to? Please?" He grudgingly too the money and handed both to your sister. "Y/n..." she said shakily. "It'll be okay, Arya." You promised as guards grabbed your arms, knocking the knife out of your hand. "You take that stuff, you go home and you ration. You can survive, I know you can. Just until I get back. I will come back for you, I swear." "That's enough, thief." A guard growled as they dragged you away. You could hear Arya's cries as they dragged her back to your small cottage. You fought back tears as you continued walking, upholding your promise. They forced you into the castle and shoved you on your knees in front of the last person you wanted to see: King George III Though, to you, it was "just George". "Y/n, Y/n." He tsked. "We've been looking for you for quite a while now. I'm surprised you didn't flee the country entirely." "No one would take me." You growled. "Right, I almost forgot, I rule most of the world." He smirked. "I'm sure they didn't want to piss you off by taking in your runaway betrothed." You spat the word like it was poison on your tongue. You'd rather have poison than him as a husband any day, though. "No America? I would think you would love it there, with both of you hating me." "I couldn't risk taking Arya on one of those filthy ships of yours." "Arya!" It pained you to hear her name on his lips. "How is she?" "Like you care." You glared. "Well, I don't. But, I kind of have to, seeing as, I love you and you love her." He shrugged. "Funny. I would've thought you were too OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND TO LOVW ANYBODY." You yelled. You refrained from flinching as a guard raised his hand in warning. "That's quite enough, James. You can leave." George ordered. "My liege-" the guard protested. "Out!" He yelled. The guards quickly filed out of the room, leaving just you and George. "Now, now, Y/n," he sounded almost... sad? "You don't mean that." "I'd have to get Stockholm syndrome to fall in love with you." You hissed. "I've left your room the same. And Arya's. Oh, it'll be so great to have you back." He clapped his hands like an excited child. "I hate you." "Why? I'm lovely." Your eyes flicked around the room, focusing on anything but him. "Let's get you out of those rags and I'll have someone go fetch your sister. Guards!" The soldiers made their way back in and stood at attention behind you. "Take her to her room, find her something nice and tell the cook to start preparing dinner. Fetch Arya and do the same with her." The man from earlier- James- grabbed you by the arm and lead you up the stairs to your old room. George had never forced you to sleep in the same room as him which you were thankful for. You were unceremoniously shoved into the room and the door clicked shut behind you. You ran a hand across the f/c silk bed sheets where dust had collected in your absence. You threw open the doors of the large dresser and looked over the large variety of dresses, hoops and corsets. You sighed at the choice of garments, you had never been one for dresses. You closed the doors and flipped down on your bed, choosing to stay in your pants, tunic and cloak. There was a light knock on your door, signaling the only thing you were looking forward to. "Come in." You called. The door opened to reveal your handmaiden and best friend, Sophia. You quickly got up and hugged her tightly. "I would say it's good to have you back but..." she sighed. You laughed humorlessly. "Yeah. It's only slightly better than living on the streets." You showed her your hand which was missing three fingers. "How did that even happen? Wouldn't they have taken you back here if they caught you?" "It was earlier, when they didn't know I had left and I wasn't as good at my job." You sighed, running your opposite thumb over the jagged skin. "You got caught three times in the five hours we didn't know you had left?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "Like I said." You muttered. "Well, we got to get you in one of those monstrosities otherwise, King Asshat'll be pissed." She said, opening your closet. "No..." you groaned, burying yourself in the silk bed sheets. "C'mon." She pulled you up. "If you make my job easier, I'll make sure your guy clothes get washed and not thrown away." She threatened, peeling the clothes off you. She lead you into the bathroom where a bath has already been drawn for you. It was still warm, it must have been drawn while you were talking to the king. You were lowered into it and you relished the warm water on your sore skin. The water quickly turned black as Sophia scrubbed the dirt off of you. "Jesus, girl." She muttered, doing her best to clean you in the steadily dirtier water. When she had done all she could do, she helped you out and dried you off, bringing you back out to your room. You compiled in mute annoyance as she loosely laced your corset and tugged on a wicker hoop and a pair of tights. She tugged a f/c dress over your head and laced it up before sitting you down at the vanity and taking locks of your hair in her hands. "My god..." she sighed, staring at all the knots. You winced in pain as she tugged them out with a comb, not stopping until your hair was a smooth as your sheets. When she was done, she went to work trying to cover all the blemishes on your face and dust your eyelids with color. She finished by adding a bright red lipstick and turned you towards the mirror. "I haven't seen myself look this beautiful in a long time." You sighed. "Just doing my job." She smirked. There was another knock on the door, this one firmer and more urgent. "Come in." You called once again. The door opened to reveal a young looking guard who just looked generally scared of everything. "The king requests your presence at dinner, m'lady." He said shyly. "I'll be down in a minute." You promised. You stopped him as he turned to leave. "Straighten up, boy. You'll get yourself killed if you go walking around like that. I should know." He nodded and left the room. "Guess you'd better get going then." Sophia said, patting your back. You stood and navigated the once familiar halls to the dining hall. You ran to your sister and wrapped her in a hug when you saw her face at the table. She itched at the lace sleeve of her dress. "Do we have to wear dresses?" She whispered, conscious of the judgemental ears surrounding you. You laughed lightly. "I'll work something out." You promised. "My love!" George called out, entering the room with a dramatic flare. You groaned and took your seat next to the head of the table with Arya across from you. George took his seat at the head as they brought in the first course. He talked your ear off throughout the first course, all the way to the entree. He talked about America's revolt and what he had planned. He talked non stop about how excited he was to have you back and how you would rule the world together. A faint smile tugged at your lips at his childlike joy. Halfway through your dinner, Arya began coughing nonstop, her untreated sickness getting to her. "Have none of you fools gotten this girl treated yet?" George bellowed, standing up quickly, knocking over his chair in the process. "Get a doctor in here, now!" Several guards sprinted out of the room as you rushed to your sister's side, trying your best to get air into her. As her coughing fit died down, the king's private doctor rushed into the hall. You moved out of the way as he knelt down beside Arya. "Come along, dear." He coaxed, lifting your sister up bridal style. "Let's get you back to my office." "I'm fine, I'm fine." She protested weakly as he carried her out of the room. "How long has she been like that?" George asked, the concern in his voice shocking you. "About a month." You sighed, if your sister didn't get professional help soon, she would die. Well, maybe living with George has some perks. He also seemed much... kinder. It was a good look on him. "I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully, it's not too late." He said sincerely. "She's tough. She'll be fine." You promised, though you weren't quite sure yourself. "With a sister like you," he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your neck. You flinched, but didn't move away. "She'll be fine." You sighed, leaning into his touch ever so slightly. "I hope so." ___ As the weeks passed, you were horrified to discover that you were falling for the psychopath. You talked with him more than was necessary and began to genuinely enjoy seeing him when he wasn't plotting. Hell, you had even decided to sleep in the same room as him. "What are you doing?" Arya asked as you and Sophia brought your clothes to George's room. "Just moving my stuff to George's room." You shrugged. "Why? Is he forcing you?" She asked, confusion radiating off her. You laughed lightly at her assumption. "No, he's not. I chose to." "Why?" You sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, Arya, I think I might love him." "Are you crazy?" She whisper- yelled. "That's my cue." Sophia muttered as she took the pants and tunics from your arms and continued her path down the hallway. "I thought you hated him? I thought you were going to get us out of here?" She demanded. Her eyes drifted down to the new engagement ring you had been given, seeing as you had sold the other one. This one was just as extravagant as the last: diamonds, sapphires and rubies in a cluster on a silver band with golden flakes. "Arya, don't." You warned, predicting where your sister's mind was going. She lunged out, grabbing for the ring, her young body giving her extra speed. Once she grasped the ring in her palm, she flung it as far as she could. You heard a distant sound of metal hitting the floor. "What the hell?" You yelled, "I saved your life! Ever since mom and dad died, I've been doing nothing but saving your life! And you know what? That is exactly what I'm doing now." "I can't believe you." She growled as she turned on her heel and went back to her room. "I see someone's a little angry." George muttered as he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your shoulder behind you. You sighed. "Yeah. She's pissed that we're not leaving." "Why aren't you?" George asked, seeming surprised. "What?" You asked as you turned to look at him. "Why aren't you leaving? I thought you hated me." He shyly rubbed his arm. A blush formed on your cheeks as you realized what you had said. You didn't want him knowing that you loved him just yet. "Arya. She's still a bit sick and I want her to be safe." It wasn't the whole truth but it would do. "Of course." George muttered, his face dropping a bit. "Well, I came to tell you that I've rescheduled our wedding for next week. I got you a new tailor to make your dress. I believe he'll meet you in our room in a few hours. And I think," he pulled your ring out, "that this is yours." You smiled as he slid the ring back on your finger. "Thanks, George." "Anything for you, my love." He promised. "Now, I hate to leave you, but I must get back to planning. The battle of Yorktown is coming up and I have a feeling that it will be very important." He laid a quick kiss on your lips before leaving. You stood for a moment, shocked by his actions. Despite his flaws, he had never actually forced you to kiss him. You were even more shocked to find that you enjoyed it. Shaking it off, you went to your new room and began hanging your tunics, pants, vests and few dresses up next to George's shirts, pants and robes. Most of them were already hung, showing signs of Sophia being there previously. Once you had finished, you grabbed a book and sat on the bed, waiting for your tailor. About an hour later, there was a knock on your door. "Come in!" You called, setting the book down on the bed. A tall man came in, brandishing a measuring tape. He was well dressed, with a white dress shirt, brown pants and a brown leather tailcoat. "I take it you're my new tailor?" You questioned as you stood and walked over to him. "That I am, miss. Hercules Mulligan, at your service." He bowed. "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Mulligan." You curtsied. "The pleasure is mine, my queen." You stood still as he began taking your measurements. "Please, Y/n will do just fine." You assured him. He hummed in understanding. "So, you're the bride to be, I take it?" You laughed a bit. "I ought to be. You are measuring me for a wedding dress, yes?" "Right, yes, of course." He nodded. "Is something the matter, Mr. Mulligan? You seem a bit... off." You asked skeptically. "Yes, I'm fine. However," you felt him drop one hand and reach towards his pocket, "I am going to need you to come with me." You elbowed him sharply in the gut before he could pull out his gun. You stepped away from him and faced him, pulling out your knife in the process. "Who is your employer and what is your objective?" You demanded. "You'll find out soon, Miss L/n. I promise you that." Before you could react, he shot you in the leg and you crumpled to the ground, a scream exiting your mouth. "Y/n?" Arya yelled as she ran into the room. "Arya, go! Run, get George!" You gasped. She quickly reviewed the situation and ran before Hercules could hurt her. He sighed. "I dealt with all the guards, but I never thought to knock out your sister. Guess we'll have to make this quick." He brought the butt of his gun down on your temple, knocking you out. ___ As you slowly came to, you recognized the familiar grey, stone bricks of the castle. Relief flooded your conscious; you were still home. You groaned as a dull pain racked through your leg. "Y/n! You're awake!" Arya cried out. "Oh thank god. Maybe she'll be able to talk to him." Sophia sighed. "George? Is he not talking? What happened?" You asked wearily as you sat up. "Okay, so, after I ran and got the king, he and all the other guards that were with him ran to get you and some went to guard the front gate. So, one way or another, they caught him. And he pretty much dropped you and ran. There's a huge bounty on his head but it seems like he made it back to America because, a few weeks later," Arya began explaining. "Wait. A few weeks?" You asked. "Yeah, a few weeks, you've been out for two months."  Sophia told you. "Fuck..." you muttered, imagining how torn up George must be. "So, a few weeks later, the Americans knew every part of our plan and beat us. We had to surrender." She sighed. "I think they were trying to kidnap you for extra leverage." Sophia offered. "Oh god, George. Help me up, I need to go see him." Arya and Sophia each grabbed one of your arms, lifting you off the cot. You carefully distributed your weight onto both legs, the bullet wound not hurting too much after two months. You hurried to his room, leaving the girls, a slight limp in your step as you did. "Good to see you awake, m'lady." James greeted as he pushed open the door of the royal chambers for you. You quietly walked in, taking in the man on the bed in front of you. You hardly recognized him. His wig and robes were off, abandoned on the ground. His curly brown locks were a mess and his white dress shirt was coated in wrinkles. He sat with his back to you, doing nothing but staring at the wall. "George?" You called out. He spun around, his sleep deprived brown eyes meeting yours. He stood up, running to you and wrapping you in the tightest hug you've ever felt. You quickly returned the embrace and felt his tears leak onto your shirt. "I'm so sorry." He sobbed, "I should have been there. I should've protected you." "Shh." You soothed, "It's okay, it's okay. I'm here now." "I love you, Y/n." He sighed. "I love you too, George." You never thought for a second that you would be saying those words. But, here you were. And you had never meant it as much as you did then.

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[in-paradox-space]

when I'm high I'm able to realize nothing matters so I shouldn't worry about it. Shit doesn't always have to be bad, I can find happiness. 

its been a long week and i have thoughts to purge.

When I'm not high I think about how everything is meaningless. We're tirelessly destroying the planet (probably) to keep our lives and expansion going but none of it matters. I am sad, empty and can't find reasons to be happy.

 I think about a girl who I've only met twice in my life. She's not my type... If I even have a type. It hurts how much I want to be with her. I've stopped trying to make sense of it. I'm trying to ignore my feelings. Hoping one day the pain will stop. I'd go through so much pain if I knew I was guaranteed time with her at the end of it though. I spoke about her in September...

 During my huge one week MDMA comedown which made me want to quit everything for good. It took a few weeks but I got over her. She was on my mind every second though. I couldn't make sense of it as I only met her once. I put it down to being very low after taking so much drugs and the fact that I literally never hang out with girls.

 I put it down to that this time as well. 3 or 4 months later I got to meet her again. Last week, I went into town with two other friends. We met up with her there. I did coke for the first time that night too. Friday, December 15 2017 and the early hours the next day. I did coke. I almost got off with a 35 year old woman but my friends were there to stop me. We went to the girls house that night too. I sort of cuddled her while she slept but I was wide awake.

 It was awkward but I was taking in the moment. The other two friends were in the same bed too. It was awkward. They was telling me to cuddle her. I would've never made that move myself. It felt like an arranged marraige. It was awkward because I knew she probably didn’t want me there but she kept saying its alright I can hold her. 

 In the end I just sat by myself, on my phone, wide awake, almost the last of my cough syrup, cocaine and too much booze slurring my mind left to right, while the others slept. We left at 10amish, went back to my friends house.

 Last night. Two days ago. Wednesday. The girl and those two friends went into town again, but I was at my dads place so I didn't come along. Real shit if I knew she was there I might have just got a train that day. Maybe it was best I didn't. So my good bro, uhhhhh they all did MD, not a lot but they blacked out because they was drinking.

I need to stop going into so much detail here. I just feel like I'll read back on these in a few years and I don't want to forget. Why does it matter though?

Well, the girl I like said that my bro was making moves on her and probably fucked her that night. His gf was there too. Nobody remembers so nobody is really viable here.

(switching from mobile to PC typing here)

The girl seems to remember¿

well I think my friend and his gf are probably gonna break up for good. My friends pretty unstable right now.

I was planning on spending a nice night with a different friend, who would never get himself into this kind of mess, he's having a lot of people round and I wanted to be there.

I'm probably gonna be in a hospital waiting room with my friend the whole night though. Being alone right now can't be good for him. Being alone is painful for me right now. I used to like it.

so how do i feel about this?

a little imbalanced. a lot of different feelings.

I slept a full day after the coce. 

I came down hard. My liver has been having some problems so I’m stopping drinking for good. 

Had a funeral on the Monday. My grandmothers.

It’s sad to see her go. 

It was a hopeful funeral though. A lot of tears but she knew how to turn a bad thing into a good thing. There was that feeling there. Surrounded by good family with good intentions and bad pasts.

Went to my fathers, on the other side of the country, later that day. 

I’ve been so depressed there. In that wintery void. 

I’ve been getting fevers and illnesses, likely from my liver. Nausea, fatigue, headaches, loss of appetite, unfortunately no weight loss (typical). 

I had way too much of being isolated and alone on wednesday.

I came back yesterday. Was so depressed in the morning but I saw my friends. Had two joints with my bro which I mentioned before. I very rarely smoke weed. It was cool. I felt great.

Then the drama unfolded. My friend and his gf started arguing like fucking crazy. I was sat there for two hours extremely stoned and panicked by the screaming. I wanted to leave. His gf was telling me not to. Partly out of an awkward politeness, partly because she didn’t want my bro to be alone after the breakup because he’s usually unstable after they argue.

I left, went home, there was no electricity. Had to wait until today until I got more. Just slept in the dark.

I’ve been doing nofap for the past 3 weeks. Dying of liver failure (exaggeration) has made it easier because I really don’t have much libido. 

I keep having wet dreams though. It’s common when you don’t fap, you just kinda let loose in your dreams. 

They’re really inconvenient though because I have to change my underwear and shower. 

I usually wear the same underwear for 3 days until I shower. 

I wash my clothes like once every 2 weeks. 

I had to wear an old pair of underwear last night. 

A lot of people do but nobody ever really talks about it. 

Now. Friday.

A lot went down in the past week. 

 I’ve been thinking about that girl every minute of the past week. Really fucking sad because I don’t have her. 

There’s nothing going on in my life really. 

I’m not making it out like that isn’t my fault for not actively making sure I have something to occupy me. That’s just how it is.

I’m gonna find work next year so I’m occupying myself with something, getting outside. This sad, empty loneliness is too much. 

The fact that being around one girl for one night makes me think of her for the weeks ahead is just an eyeopener

I really need to get out more

I need to interact with more people 

obviously I don’t really feel for that girl and no other girl

its just the fact that I was with her that night, along with the fact my serotonin is low and looking for a pick me up after the drugs and I have no other females on my mind to turn to

i have female friends yes but not IRL, I don’t really get feelings for them

So

I’m sick of the sadness. 

I want to stop drugs. I have stopped codeine. I really have. I have no way to get more codeine other than CWE cocodomol pills which can be laborious to supply. 

I haven’t touched it in weeks, other than 3 days where I kept overdosing just to feel high, the 3 days before the 15th.

I stopped for a week before then, went through the physical withdrawal. 

I gave all the pills to my friend. They’re too expensive to just flush and I want to take them to America because people there appreciate it for more than just a painkiller.

This lifestyle.

It’s harming me in so many ways.

I want to find real sources of happiness. Not short  term fixes. 

I want to find my rat park. 

During the sadness and isolation from friends (my dads place) I just wanted to be high

I just 

I was so sad

I rarely smoke weed but I smoked it yesterday

because I wanted to remember what it was like when the sadness didn’t hurt or disconnect you.

It doesn’t hurt as much today as I’m not as under-stimulated.

I want to repair my liver. I’ve always had liver problems but I didn’t realize how seriously it was getting until recently.

The heavy drinking and daily codeine overdoses (300mg-520mg at a time) have been killing it off. I’ve been high on painkillers every day so I didn’t notice the liver pains.

I hope it’s not permanent. I’m getting symptoms of liver damage still but the liver pains have stopped.

and yeah

its hard but I’m stopping drugs

If i continue, I will come to a point when it isn’t a choice and it will be even harder 

I’m planning to save up and do a big fucking sesh in january or february then not do drugs again except for maybe the occasional xtc every few months, or acid if i ever get the chance

i was going to invite the guys i went with on friday but they’ve all fallen out (probably) because of the drama

Februaryish, imma invite the girl out on the weekend

hopefully shes still single

we’ll get high if she even says yes, idk if she will. she has reasons to and reasons not to.

I’ll just tell her, I think shes awesome and I want to see her more.

She was never mine anyway. If this scares her away, so be it. I got over her last time, I’ll do it this time and I’ll do it again. 

I have nothing to lose.

I think she just wants meaningless sex and drunken nights though. 

I thought I wanted that but I don’t.

All I care about is being happy with friends. 

Talking about random shit, often shitfaced, all night.

Whenever I get a chance with girls, I feel uncomfortable at the thought of it.

I don’t want to fuck girls. I am attracted to them but idk

i would rather just spend time with them

will I be like this forever

I know it isnt normal 

I do sometimes make out with people I don’t know. guys or girls

but if I get to know them at all it throws me off

Like, they’re not anonymous, there’s a name to the face now, they know who I am.

I feel like there’s a witness to it, even if it’s only them

and I mainly associate shame, not pleasure, with sex.

Then there’s a witness to validate the shame.

I like this girl.

I had chances to make moves. I didn’t want to. 

It’s like, if I do then it’s final. It’s a one night fling and nothing more. I also may have scared her away. I’m so ugly recently and I doubt she would’ve been into me then.

I was so happy just talking with her, fuckfaced, about everything. 

It felt like I had a new IRL friend. I just want to talk with her

I wanted to be able to see her again. 

If I did anything, even a kiss, with her that night then I’d feel ashamed whenever I thought about it. 

Then the memory of her would be tainted. 

she was high though

I doubt shes interested in me at all

but fuck it

after I’m over her, I can look at her objectively again

she’s just another regular young girl/woman

which isnt a bad thing

but it means I can look at her clearly, without all these feelings clouding my vision.

then every weekend

I’ll make plans with people, just so I can invite her out too

‘hey im gonna be in town with some friends this weekend, do u wanna come along we need more people’

sure, it’ll be weird

but the offer of free cocaine must take her fancy one night

and thats it

I’ll act like the world is ending 

we’ll have a good time

and I’ll talk about what’s been eating me up for over half a year

Sure, I might get rejected but it must be easier than just carrying on, knowing she will go her separate way when it could have been. 

I need closure. I don’t even think she’s the one or see a future with her, although that’d be great too. 

I just want to go out with her for a few weeks, maybe half a year or so. then we both lose interest in each other, she dumps me

BUT I’LL HAVE CLOSURE THEN. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE. MY FEELINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN PURGED. I USED TO BE HEARTLESS; IMMUNE TO THESE FEELINGS! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?

I’m not gonna say ooo i love you, or anything

I’m not gonna ask her out

I’ll just say I really fucking like her, I think she’s great and I’d love to be able to see you often.

something like that

she can say whatever she thinks

probably that its weird i invited her out after all the drama that happened with my friends yesterday(current tense, as im typing this)

At least I will know then. 

Man, I hope she doesn’t have someone by then but I won’t be surprised if she does. 

so today

christmas is a good time isn’t it?

for me its lonely.

everything stops.

winter is already sad enough.

 everyone wants to be with family, but the only day ill be with family is christmas day itself

im glad i get to be with my friends today, that was a nice surprise,

although i might have to leave to be with josh so that he doesnt hurt himself. 

oops. mentioned his name, his anonymity has been erased. voila. 

ive been typing my thoughts her for like an hour

a lot of shit I forgot to mention

but yeah

i need to do a lot of shit which ive been putting off

shower, wash my clothes, pay for electricity, go to my friends. im currently on emergency credit and i only remembered that was a thing an hour ago. after i slept in the dark. 

I feel sad that I’ll probably not be with her, but in time that will pass.

I feel sad because winter is coming, i have nothing to occupy my time.

this will all pass in time, it hurts now, but I will feel happy again soon enough.

hang in there

#personal #her #drugs #long text post #so yeah im 'quitting' again