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#yeah not gonna tag everyone here LMAO
awkwardsimpsons · 4 months
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A really cute comic from Bart Simpson #82
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b4kuch1n · 11 months
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hfr indulgence weekend
#hi-fi rush#hfr chai#hfr peppermint#hfr korsica#hfr macaron#hfr cnmn#gods cnmn's tag is so fucking funny. yeah those are letters#the ink comms are! finished! I just gotta go scan them#I dont trust my phone scanner rn tbh its. u can see right here lmao#gonna try and scan it at a photocopy shop to compare the difference#anyways yes of course I tried my hand at redesigning the suit stuff lmao. like whats in the game is cute. but. clenches fists#they dont understand women in suit like I do!! they dont understand.... they dont underst#I enjoy the Idea of putting chai in formal wear bc that dude is straight up a rectangle. literally needed to fake a waist for him#but yeah. tbh also kind of a surprise how much I enjoyed drawing chai's face. like he's straight up just. :-D <- thats him#everyone else slaps obvs but chai is like. I think I just enjoy translating that specific eye shape lol#also maybe its just decoration but I choose to believe that sleeve on his left hand is a compression sleeve#it was the load bearing arm. nobody comes into my inbox about that sentence ok#alright. alright#got some Plan Thing coming up at the end of june-start of july mark. hope that goes well#but otherwise! scan ink comms tomorrow! then that will be open again on. monday I'll say#so! stay tuned for that? aye#also actually Ive been enjoying doing those chibi things like in the first page up there. its fun to try and figure out what to include#this is genuinely new to me lmao. before the sk8 stuff I havent drawn that kinda thing for literal years#this year is the year of art thing resurfacing huh. ink and now this... well! its fun to see#okay. alright. I go sleep now. or I go get snack actually. and Then sleep#have a good night lads! keep ur wrists safe for me please
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beforecreation · 1 month
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beerus bingo when
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"This is ridiculous. But since you have the gall to bring it up, I figure that I should get an idiotic activity done with rather than risk any more dunces get the bright idea to pester me about this later."
In a huff, he grabs a sheet of paper and pen, filling in the boxes with haste before throwing it at the anonymous figure's face.
"Here! Now I never want to hear anyone bring this up to me ever again, some of us have better things to do than fuss over a piece of paper. Anyone who ever asks me about this again shall be given no mercy."
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osoreruna · 3 months
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MHA MOVIE NIGHT !!
taking a poll to see what time would work best for y'all ! it'll be on a sunday more than likely, as i have work on saturdays, and the dash seems fairly active on sundays. forgive me, but all these times are in eastern standard time — y'all will have to do the math, it is not my strong suit.
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lavenoon · 1 year
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A little heads-up because I know I've been quiet on original content for a couple days now, and I don't know when I'll post something again. I currently hate everything I draw and it's taking a lot out of me to not delete everything I've posted, and trying to get out of that slump is taking too much energy for me to write. The Foxy introduction chapter for AU is my current main project, but it's slow going because I'm Bad At Pirate(tm) so I won't make any promises of when that'll be out. But I'm chugging along and fighting the brain, so thank you for your patience <3
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no look! look! sure we know asmodeus and hells and betrayer gods and the broad strokes of how this turns out. sure. but!! you see this guy in a dream and he’s about to get murdered, and you’re a paladin, jumping in front of people about to get murdered if you’re not sure it’s warranted is a little bit your whole deal. and you’re running around in this city at (socially) high level parties even though it’s the last thing you want to do and every minute you spend here reminds you why, and on top of that there’s something you can barely see much less understand threatening your city (because it’s still yours to protect, even if it’s not home). but you see a guy, and he registers as fiend, but divine sense is not detect evil, and especially if you rarely even hear about them fiend does not necessarily equate to evil- and even then, neither necessarily equate to the immediate threat (and honestly if you did run detect evil in a place like this. hm.), and even if you suspect things, there’s a guy and he’s dying and you can stop it- even if you suspect, there’s a person and they’re hurting and bleeding on the bed and you’re a paladin and a healer and whatever you think of gods and monsters and mages, you show a little kindness
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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I may just be delirious but I kind of feel like there's something there about some of the most traumatic events in Arakawa's life arguably stemming from/being made worse by being loved too much.
Like, Toshio's death, right. The death of a parent is always always going to be traumatic, particularly when your other parent is abusive, but I feel like being there, being the first to the scene, made it so much worse. Especially when it should've been a good memory.
Non-zero chance I'm just projecting because I was there for my own father's death and I was around Arakawa's age at the time, but it's like... it did have very specific life-long effects, didn't it... the way he keeps coming back to Peking duck and talks about it like he's had it before when he can't even bring himself to eat it unless he's with family (and indeed, never did, up until right before he died)...
And then there's his former patriarch. Of course, he seemed to see Arakawa as more of an object--fully under his control and something to be thrown away at the first sign of autonomy. But I feel like, before then, Arakawa must've been his "favorite," if he was willing to arrange a marriage between his daughter and Arakawa. Which I expect is what made his reaction when Arakawa told him he was (technically) having an affair with Akane and wanted out of the family that extreme in going as far as to send men after Akane and Ichiban.
The last one I can immediately think of is not exactly traumatic for him, though it is traumatic For Me so I'm counting it, but it's of course what we were talking about with Jo hesitating so much at the thought of killing Arakawa that he passed up the chance to save him.
I Dunno I Am Delirious but... there's a pattern somewhere in there... Anyway. Uh. "Happy" Father's Day am I right
happy fathers day :]]]]
#snap chats#I HAVE NOTES DOWN HERE AS ALWAYS I PROMISE JUST. no better way to cap off a post with a smile :)#plus yk. i dont have any major notes to add thats not restating but i do enjoy Restating so in the tags we go#also ngl im a lil tired so if im gonna look right silly cause my brains functioning like a bowl of cereal ill do it down here as per usual#totally waited to answer this when its technically fathers day my time and i didnt just stare at a wall#listen if someone has a proejcting problem its me alright. its ok if someone else has a turn at it esp when its within fair grounds 🥴#in any case Yeah.. everyone loves patterns ones a coincidence two's a pattern three should incite murderous intent#i definitely wouldnt call it delirious thinking Thats My Job right LMAO#in all seriousness the importance of at least one positive adult figure in a trouble child's life cannot be understated#im pretty sure i talked bout that already so i wont give the whole lecture again LMAO#in any case its not unreasonable to want to assert love being a theme with arakawa- if not a detriment in some way#it was arakawas intense love for akane that inadvertently fractures their family to be#it was arakawas love for masato that didnt allow him to be harder on him when he should have been and caused both their eventual downfalls#and of course- as mentioned- while not a result of arakawa's own feelings#it was ultimately jo's. //vague hand gesturing// towards arakawa that stopped him from killing him outright#yet jo's love for masato that didnt allow him to lie and go directly behind his back#so yeah love just. works against arakawa unfortunately. an especially sad thing for a troubled child#because as a troubled child that's all you ever really want isnt it- to love and to be loved without worry#so its a cruel irony in that despite arakawa's childhood and general growing-up it didnt stop him from trying to love his family#it makes me wanna throw up (depressed)#in any case i have to stay up a little longer so i can steal water for later SO im gonna be up to uhhhh idk :) Stare At My Wall
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gas-stxtion · 1 year
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//sorry i haven't been working on replies lately! you see, it's because [mid-sentence i slowly lie down on the floor and start crying really hard. i do not finish my explanation]
#you know this whole thing is one big experiment‚ right? and you're the little mouse? {ooc}#//feel free not to read the tags b/c i'm gonna scream a bit#//moved in last week and already we may end up with two more people in this apartment#//bc two of my roommate's partners both need a place to stay#//and like with the one we've had some time to talk and prepare#//but with the other it's like oh ok she's moving in this weekend. non-negotiable huh. ok#//i want to scream cry and throw up lmao i am not emotionally prepared for there to be four people here#//especially b/c i don't know either of them suuuuper well just yet#//and rn i'm doing the bulk of the cleaning in the apartment which i don't mind! because i'm happy to help!#//roommate has a lot of other stuff she's worrying about and i understand and want to take the load off#//but i think if i see one more dirty pot i might start crying#//which as we all know is a normal reaction#//(that's sarcasm if that's not clear)#//i know i need to say something and insist on better communication#//because this is not malicious on my roommate's part. i know that. it's just a miscommunication#//anyway yeah i keep mentally coming back to the fact that my room isn't even fully unpacked yet lmao#//bc now we gotta get shit together to make sure everyone has somewhere to sleep n such#//and yes it's bc i haven't asked for help. i am aware. that's on me#//but damn.#//ok this got long jesus-#//if you read this i am giving you a high five but if not i understand lmfao#vent cw#negative cw
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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#part two omg <333#u can tell i originally was gonna tweet this and then it spiralled out of control to the point it got too long for tumblr tags. anyway#sometimes i just think about things and i get sooo mad lmao . i knew i was trans probably since i was like 11#meanwhile was so fucked up about this i just ignored it and slowly let it eat me alive for years and years until i hit my brink .#makes me so mad how the few like 'tolerant' and 'accepting' people around here act where theyre like#oh you can be that way but just ignore it <3 dont act on it <3' . you people would rather me go back to#being a suicidal 12 year old instead of actually existing and being happy. you people who know shit all about what i go through#its insanely funny to me too like compared to a large amount of people i am like extremely religious . i have#so much of the quran mf MEMORIZED. A SOLID CHUNK OF THIS ENTIRE BOOK. MEMORIZED#I CAN RECITE THE VERSES FROM IT IN PROPER FORM. i know more than my own dad does and yet.#everyone around me who isnt this at all is like oh yes we know sooo much about everything and this is#soooo gross and disgusting and perverted and sick and evil right maryam. yeah it sure fucking is besties <3#i can be everyones token poster child of having Envious amounts of knowledge and a role model for every future hafidha .#and yet you all only like me because you have to and youd all hate me if you knew anything about me#if you read all this my bad i am just crazy and angry and insane#i will go back to normal later i just need to be insane for a minute lollll#sometimes im like 'why am i so angry. why do i have ptsd' and then i remember how everyone around me is#vent#part two !!!!! wao <333
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rosyblooom · 21 days
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all u need is a platform x | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x fem love island contestant!reader SUMMARY: y/n makes a one-off comment about lando norris being her type in a confessional, and the internet rolls with it all the way to lando norris' twitch stream. A/N: just bc i love me some love island 😌
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Love Island UK
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Twittter
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Twitch
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Twitter
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Instagram
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, yourfriend and 105,830 others
yourusername alright guys, public voting is open! go, go, go!! make sure to vote for the person you want off your screens, so don't vote for y/n!!! tell your friends, family, everyone! we don't wanna see our girl go home anytime soon!! thanks u guys 🥰🥰
#LoveIsland
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username she's one of my favourite islanders🫶 stunning girl
landonorris so if we vote for her she comes OUT you say?👀
yourusername don't you dare🤣 username LMAOO LANDO U BETTER NOT SABOTAGE💀💀
username ugh she's so annoying she needs to stfu🙄 hope she goes home on friday
username he's in the likes👀 ohhh the show's just getting started I see🍿
username I've voted babes! (not y/n of course)
(liked by author)
username I'm sry but I'm gonna have to vote for my girl y/n BUT HEAR ME OUT it's bc there's a better man by the name of lando out here for her I think 😃
username sooo valid (I'm doing the same lmao) landonorris 😊 yourusername uhm- you guys😭😭
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Love Island UK
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loveisland
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liked by yourbestfriend, _jackfowler_, landonorris and 176,488 others
loveisland The public has voted, and that means goodbye to this firecracker! 🧨👋 By the looks of it, it seems Y/N might not need to do much searching for fish in the sea though... 👀
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username ok lando pack it up, jack fowler is in the likes😩
username ugh jack is so fine🫦 username LMAO NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BBY LANDO NOW😭
landonorris 🐠
username lmaooo ENOUGH username help he's so real😭
username finally the bitch is gone
username uhm... chile anyways so
username ppl need to stop putting her up there with maura, amber and the lot cause she's absolutely nowhere close bffr. I rlly don't see the hype🙄
username she's literally the first to break 1 million followers lmao the hype is very much alive even if u don't wanna see it😌 username yeah and how many of those are lando fans hm? exactly username oooh u sound bitter babe xx
username lando and y/n better freaking date soon tho cause if I find out this was all in vain I'm literally gonna flip😭
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thesun
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liked by username, username, username and 46,037 others
tagged: landonorris, yourusername
thesun Popular ex-Love Island contestant, Y/N L/N, has arrived in the UK to a warm welcome at Heathrow Airport, where she was greeted by family, friends, and a horde of fans.
Speculation about a potential romance between her and the famous F1 driver, Lando Norris, has been rife on the internet for the past few weeks. Many believe this could be the reason for her sudden dumping from the island, as fans allegedly orchestrated her exit in hopes of pairing the two together.
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username lando can do so much better than some trashy reality tv star 😑
username i got a pic with her!! she was such a sweetheart❤️
username im so excitedddd omg
username let's see what happens now then...😁
username 👀👀
username omg why are ppl still talking about her smh
username i voted for her so it better pay off🙏 i'm looking at u lando
username me and you both 🤝
yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption 1: i'm backkk ] [ caption 2: cake bc there's 1.5 million of u guys here😭 AHHH TYSM 🫶🫶 ]
[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]
yourusername
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liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, _jackfowler_ and 220,748 others
yourusername back in essex and straight to catching up with my lovelies xxx
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username lando norris dating announcement when 😃
username lmaooo her bed in the villa ain't even cold yet😭😭 username real! he should've picked her up from the airport smh chivalry is so dead😞
username telling you all about lando i hope
username and the fact that it's all lando's fault that you were voted off 😋 username LOL DON'T PIN THIS ON HIM NOW
landonorris welcome back y/n!
username loool what happened to ur free shoulders 🤣🤣
username JACK FOWLER STAY TF BACK 🤺🤺🤺 we're team lando + y/n here!!!
username IKTR😌
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yourusername posted to her story!
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[ caption: don't need ur shoulders, just ur arms and car 😌 ]
[ tagged: landonorris ]
f1gossipofficial
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liked by username, username, username and 14,026 others
f1gossipofficial Lando Norris has been spotted once again in the company of ex-Love Island contestant Y/N L/N, marking the fourth time in the past month the pair has been seen together in London. This time, fans observed them enjoying dinner together, appearing particularly close as they laughed and had their arms around each other.
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username real ones know y/n from the first ep of love island😌🫶
username I've been summoned🫡
username love island is bottom of the barrel trash smh anyone who enters that show is a dumbass
username lol okay.... anyway they look cute together🥰
username ahh u guys remember when y/n was in the villa and we'd all wait for lando's tweets during love island🥹 those were the times
username i wanted them together but now it's like when you watch a film in the cinema and then reach its end like what now?🧍‍♀️ username fanpage babe. u make a fan page trust me x
username ew keep her away from lando🤢
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yourusername
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liked by ellathomas_, landonorris, whitbrownxs and 587,442 others
tagged: landonorris
yourusername thank u love island 🤭
view all 6,935 comments
username AHHH FINALLY IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS🤩
username what do u wanna bet she only has 2 gcses🙄
username well that's a whole lot better than lando's 0 🤣
username @/yourusername i need ur game card RIGHT NOW cause i want mason mount 😩
yourusername all u need is a platform x username brb gonna apply for love island now🏃‍♀️💨
landonorris I think you missed a few spots baby
yourusername lol xxx username oh he's whipped lmaooo
username WHO VOTED Y/N OUT?? WE FUCKING DID ITTTT
username present🫡 username the way we had a vision and look at us now😌 we love to see it username cheers to us masterminds 🍻
whitbrownxs love you guys ❤️
yourusername ly bby xxx
1:06 ──ㅇ────────── 4:11
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sant-riley · 6 months
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Yeah but like what if one day Gaz walked into a room and saw Y/N FNAF lore dumping to Ghost
[Infodumping the boys]
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(Mostly Platonic tf141 x gen neutral! reader, hints at Ghost bc it’s me and I’m biased.)
Summary: Teddy aka You, decide to gather the gang and tell them about five nights at Freddy’s before the movie comes out.
Word count: 800 ish
Warnings: Possibly of for the boys (idrc tho lmao), Teddy is this readers callsign, reader is implied to be at least early 20’s, I can’t think of anything else tbh but lmk if this does need something tagged!
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It wasn't uncommon for you to infodump your teammates, they're all older than you and have significantly less screen time than you (it ties into being older). Most of the information you give them is something they take as fact, this is no different.
Gaz of all people knows your interests best, you two being the closest in age means you both realistically grew up with the internet and its most popular series.
The last thing he expected walking into one of the many meeting rooms on base, was you at the front of the room, your laptop hooked up to the projector and Price and Soap sitting down, dutifully listening with varying degrees of attention.
Price is to your left, staring down at mission documents that no doubt need to be turned in by tomorrow. A glass of some liquor next to his stack, a cigar box that's propped open right by it as well.
To anyone else, it would seem like Price isn't listening and he's just here to keep you from bothering him to come but Gaz can see the Captain's eye flick up every so often, his eyes softening when his gaze falls on yours, listening for a few beats, a miniscule upturn of his lips until he's looking back down again, grabbing a pen to make a correction.
Soap on the other hand is sitting next to Cap, a hand resting under his chin, the other flipping around a pen in his hands. He's nodding and asking questions as you flick through. Below him is a notebook that seems to have scribbled in it, if Gaz walked in further he could see little drawings of Monty Gator and Soap himself, a Venn diagram with a large red writing saying "Mohawk!!"
Ghost being there probably should be a shock but it isn't. The man is known to follow you around like a shadow, he humors you arguably the most out of the four men, letting you drag him to and from places with minimal complaint. He bets Ghost is gonna be the one to take you to the five nights at Freddys movie premiere.
Simon's dressed down to just his hoodie and his balaclava mask, attentively watching you as you speak passionately about each character and their role in the series. his dark eyes flicking around to stare at the drawings you inserted so everyone could see what the animatronics and others looked like.
You would've thought this was a mission debrief with how focused he was on your words.
Gaz lets out a fake cough, announcing himself to the room and he watches as your eyes immediately latch onto him, he ignores how his heart skips a beat when he sees the crinkles of your eyes, seeing you shoot a glowing smile his way.
You always look at him like that but he never tires of it.
"Gaz! Finally, you're here!"
Rushing over to him, you grab at his hand, quickly intertwining fingers, and start dragging him to the seat next to Ghost. He sits down with a huff, amusement swimming around his eyes. You move to go back to the front of the room, gleefully rocking on the balls of your feet as you look at them.
"What's all this about?" He questions, after getting nods in acknowledgment from the other 3 men in the room.
"Teddy here is tellin' us about five nights at…Frankies?"
"It's Freddy's, Johnny." You roll your eyes playfully.
"No shot you're making Ghost and Cap listen to this."
"I'm not making them do anything, they're here of their own free will, thank you very much." Sticking out your tongue, moving to click to the next slide.
"Is that true Cap?"
"It's background noise," John murmurs with a shrug, taking a swig out of his glass. He leans back in his seat, seemingly taking a momentary break as he looks around at the table.
"Got nothin' better else to do," Simon answers easily, looking at Gaz from the corner of his eye.
"You ain't gonna ask me, Garrick?"
"Nah, you of all people would enjoy it."
"What's tha-"
"Boys! Shut it! We're getting to the good part!" You clap your hands together and Soap immediately cuts himself off, looking back at you.
With all the boys' eyes on you, you clear your throat and push a button, there, from when Gaz remembers, is Michael Afton in all his purple nasty body glory.
"Fucks wrong with him? Why does he look like that?" Simon remarks, an eyebrow shooting up.
"I'm so glad you asked, you know actually the more I think about it, You and Michael actually have a lot in common.”
"How so?"
"Asshole dad, the oldest brother, daddy issues, I can keep going if you want."
Ghost just grunts in acknowledgment, raising a hand to his head and rubbing at his temples.
Price chokes on his liquor, coughing as it goes down the wrong pipe.
Soap audibly drops an "oh."
And Gaz just stares, truth be told, yeah. Yeah, he can see the resemblance.
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yourflannelcured · 2 years
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mieczyslawsravenclaw · 2 months
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Eidetic Memory Be Damned -Spencer Reid
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•Pairing - Spencer Reid x FemFBIAgent!Reader
•Rating - 18+, Minors DNI - Smut - NSFW!!!
•Summary/Prompt - Spencer is tired of only having the memory of you to enjoy during his spicy times , so he just has to intrude into your hotel room after a case is finished…
•Warnings/Content - p in the v unprotected (hey kids- DONT DO IT) ; cursing ; Spence loves to beg to nut in you and does so ; creampie ; some pain play? (just a lil hand on the throat dealio and some hair pulling) ; LOTS of praise on both sides (good boy, pretty girl, etc) ; very mf horny lol ; (basically they do just about everything from first base to last bestie slay)
•Word Count - 3.3k
•Authorʼs Note(s) - Iʼm so mf rusty at writing smut so this is probs not the best, I just wanted to write some Spencer spice cause I had a spicy dream about him lmao RIP >_< Also this'll be my first official post of my writing on Tumblr slayyyyy
•Additional Tags - Switch!Spencer , Switch!Reader , Spencer is a needy brat LMAO , Team has ‘no ideaʼ you two are hooking up (Be so mf fr they do) , Good aftercare is so valid , Spencer loves being cuffed and teased muahaha
As much as this last case had taken out of me, I was more than happy to get to spend some time in my hotel room while the jet refueled and everyone got their bearings. Itʼs not home - far from it, Iʼd been missing my own bed for the majority of our time here in whatever state it was now - but at least it was something.
But of course, the reprieve wouldnʼt last long - a sharp knock on my door confirmed that, about 20 minutes after Iʼd laid down to sleep.
“What…ˮ I groan, frustratedly looking over at the clock.
The knock, again, more persistent this time. And I recognize its pattern now, three short tap-taps. Spencer.
My heartbeat, despite my minor annoyance at being woken up, is hammering now. Spencer seems to do that to me, from the moment Iʼd realized I have feelings for him, carrying into whatever it is that we are now. Secret trysts that Iʼm sure are no secret to our team members, especially Garcia, because sheʼd pried it out of me almost immediately and now waits in her dark little room with nothing else but excitement for the latest updates on us, it seems.
“Are you awake?ˮ A gentle but still much-too-loud voice asks.
I tumble out of bed, rushing to the door. I donʼt even have time to make sure I look okay - Iʼm much too worried about anyone else hearing him. The door is unlocked and pulled open in record time, a stunned lanky man quickly and semi-quietly forced inside.
“Spence, someoneʼs gonna hear you if you keep on like that.ˮ I chastise him, shutting and locking the door behind us. No sooner have I done so, than his lithe form overtakes me, nestling into the crook of my neck with a groan that seems both relieved and not relieved at all.
“Donʼt care,ˮ He pushes me back, until my legs meet the mattress and fold. Quickly following on top of me, he sighs, “Been too long. I miss you. You know I have an eidetic memory, yeah? Doesnʼt mean shit when Iʼm up late and even thoughts of you arenʼt enough to keep me satiated.ˮ
“Someoneʼs gonna-ˮ Hear, I want to say. He knows, of course he does. And Iʼm only half-complaining, with his lips at my neck and his leg sneaking up between mine the way he also knows.
“Donʼt care.ˮ He repeats, the low moan at the back of his throat breaking through into the silent room. “I told you I miss you. Should I tell you about what I use my memory for? And just how much that hasnʼt been enough lately? Or should I show you?ˮ
Itʼs clearly a rhetorical question, but still, he seeks the permission I am more than happy to grant.
“Tell me. Uh, show me. I mean-ˮ
“I can do both,ˮ Even in the dark, I know heʼs got that matter of fact smirk on his lips. He reaches down, holding me by the hip with one hand while the other slips into my pajamas, a practiced motion heʼs all too good at by now. “Usually this is what I remember first. The way your skin feels, how nice it is to make you tremble beneath my touch.ˮ
I buck up, and he chuckles.
“All too eager, arenʼt you? Clearly youʼve been thinking about it too, huh, pretty girl?ˮ A pointed question he knows Iʼll struggle to answer, with his hand and his voice torturing me so.
“No eid- identical- uh, no memory recall whatever for me.ˮ
“Still wouldnʼt satiate, I bet.ˮ He remarks, casually rubbing circles and patterns over my panties. This is how he operates, surely and with no warning. A gentle but firm kiss to my jaw, and he continues, “Itʼs like that for me, at least. I know no amount of recalling how you feel under me will be enough to match just how nice it is.ˮ
Heʼs right, and of course he is; I can barely handle the teasing, the tone his voice has taken in this short amount of time. And I currently dont care if weʼre heard, either.
“Spence-ˮ
“What is it, sweetheart? Too much for you? Not enough?ˮ
“Please?ˮ
“Words, honey. Youʼve gotta use your words. Or you can show me, Iʼm okay withthat too.ˮ He guides my hand down to his.
“More.ˮ I plead, working to undress myself before his hands take over.
“You only have to ask.ˮ
True to his word, Spencer pulls the fabric away, no longer allowing it to be a block between us. Itʼs lost somewhere in the sheets as he kisses me, his practiced hands no longer in the mood to tease. He slips a finger in, and when I let out a keening whine, another, his free hand going automatically to my mouth.
“Now as much as I say I donʼt care, youʼve gotta be a little quiet for me,ˮ He goads, knowing this will only make it harder for me to do so. His breath is hot in my ear, his fingers working a motion thatʼs both breaking pent up weeks old frustration, and yet causing more tension in my belly. “Much as I love your voice. Your sounds. The-ˮ
I rut up against him, my lips opening around his thumb. He works it into my mouth, his voice lowering even further.
“Cmon, show me how much you missed me, huh, princess?ˮ
I moan, words lost in my mind as it spins. Every tug of his fingers between my thighs is building a high Iʼm chasing, and when I get to this point, Iʼm not talking - he is. And he knows it, knows the right words to say to build and break me.
“This is what Iʼm after, this is what I canʼt just remember. Because itʼs all too much to remember how good it feels to destroy you.ˮ
Please, please. I canʼt hold off much longer.
“Now are you gonna cum for me, sweetheart?ˮ
I nod, lips opening and letting his hand free from my mouth as my breaths grow heavy. “Canʼt - Please, Spence, please-ˮ
He presses me further into the mattress, murmuring sweet and dirty nothings into my ear as the dam breaks and I ride my high. Iʼm far too sensitive following, and when I try to push him away for a moment, allow myself to collect some sort of reprieve before we continue, he chuckles lowly.
“See, I can recall that clear as day. But itʼs so much sweeter to have it happening in front of me, you know?ˮ He nestles in beside me, turning me to face him.
Nigh immediately, Iʼm reaching for his belt buckle. Of course he wouldnʼt have changed into comfortable clothes, not even this late- Iʼm sure this was his plan all along, and he tried to fight it as long as he could.
“Someoneʼs eager.ˮ He quips, the smirk growing.
“Youʼve got me thinking about it,ˮ I sigh, letting him maneuver himself out of the constricting clothing. “Coming over and getting me all hot and bothered. I really ought to…ˮ
“Ought to what?ˮ He goads, pulling me onto him with a low noise as we brush together. “Hmm? Are you gonna say…you ought to punish me?ˮ
I nod, rubbing back against him. He lets out a moan, hands gripping my hips tighter.
“I remember how that feels,ˮ He pulls me closer, voice dropping. “But for your sake, maybe you should refresh me.ˮ
When he reaches for me again, I pull back, pinning his hands down above his head. I know he could get out of it if he really wanted to - Iʼm strong, but not stronger than him - but he most certainly doesnʼt want to get out of it. And Iʼm enjoying it far too much to stop myself now.
“Whatʼre you gonna do, cuff me?ˮ He snaps, the bratty attitude far too practiced and already making me a soaking mess.
“I might.ˮ I reach for my pair, knowing all too well that heʼll absolutely lose it once I let go on him. I can hardly stand the anticipation. “Scared, Reid?ˮ
“Terrified. Please, donʼt. Iʼve been a good boy, I swear.ˮ
I push him back while he pleads, tightening the metal around his wrists. The look on his face, muffled as it is by the darkness of the room, is more than enough to spur me on.
“Not thinking about this at all, huh?ˮ I shed my top, if only for the knowledge that his inability to reach for my breasts drives him utterly insane. “And Iʼm sure you havenʼt spent many late nights with the memory of me riding you, have you? Havenʼt had your hands on that pretty cock of yours, thinking about how it feels when itʼs me, yeah?ˮ
“N-Not at all.ˮ
“Itʼs a shame, then.ˮ I tease, feeling him harden beneath me with every word. “Iʼll have to make you confess, I suppose.ˮ
His eyes follow my every move as I back up, slotting between his legs and bending down to kiss along his hips.
“Youʼll never get it out of me.ˮ He groans.
“Is that a promise or a challenge?ˮ I ask, not breaking eye contact as I place a kiss on his sensitive head.
“Challenge? Would I…challenge you?ˮ He still holds onto a moment of sanity, until I take him in my mouth, and itʼs lost with a sigh of, “Oh, would I.ˮ
I bob my head, my practiced motions coming in handy now. The usually-full-of- remarks Spencer Reid folds under my touch, soft deep moans and babble of confessions and wish I could pull your hair passing his lips while I work him out.
After a few moments of this, I let him free - at least from the torture of my lips.
“Where are you going? Please, I wanna cum for you, Iʼll tell you everything I did while I couldnʼt stand to wait for you.ˮ He keens.
“Oh, Iʼm far from done with you, Spence.ˮ I slowly, agonizingly slowly, climb back on top of him, making sure to back right up against him as he tightens against the cuffs. “Donʼt you worry, Iʼll have every measly confession pouring from you. You know I will.ˮ
“Please, let me out- Gotta touch you, I just gotta-ˮ
“Shh, be good for me, wonʼt you?ˮ I lift myself over his face, pressing my folds to his lips. “Unless you wanna stay in those forever.ˮ
He shakes his head, vibrating a ‘noʼ against me.
“Good. Now youʼre gonna pay your dues and clean up the mess youʼve made.ˮ
Eagerly, he laps at me like heʼs never had it before. His utter submissiveness overwhelms him, letting me ride his face to my hearts content. Words are muffled and entirely lost in it, and I know by now that the sounds Iʼm making alone will be heard, but I donʼt really care. Iʼm too far gone in how good it feels to finally have him making me cum again.
“Can I touch you now?ˮ
I slide back onto him, teasingly letting myself rest with just the edge of him pressing into my folds.
“Can you?ˮ I look pointedly at his wrists.
“I-oh, my god, clearly not, but-ˮ
“How about this?ˮ I amend. “You give me a confession, you get a reward. Sound fair?ˮ
“Yeah, sounds just fine. I couldnʼt get off without coming here, you realize that, donʼt you? Youʼre the only thing that gets me off anymo-Oh-ˮ His confession is cut short as I slide him a bit further in, just enough to spur him further. “I mean, I get off, donʼt get me wrong here. But nothing feels as good as when itʼs with you. Nothing.ˮ
“Keep going, youʼre doing good.ˮ I praise, sinking a bit deeper.
“Goddamn you feel so good.ˮ He moans. “Like, my hands canʼt even come close to this, are you kidding? I can try all I want, and believe me, I have - Oh, my god, please donʼt stop - Iʼve been trying all the time, I admit that, canʼt hardly stand being around you and not being able to just fuck you whenever I want.ˮ
I push down further, the stretch he gives me loosing my own moan. “How much do you wanna fuck me, Spence? Tell me, please.ˮ
“God, all the time. Itʼs all I can think about when I get down to it - baby, can I please touch you now?ˮ
“Punishment is a bitch, isnʼt it, Reid?ˮ I smirk, starting to push him in and out of me, slowly and with a devious grin that falters at just how damn good it is.
“Baby, Iʼm gonna get outta these and fuck you so good-ˮ
“Try it.ˮ I raise an eyebrow, stopping my motions.
“Oh- No, Iʼm sorry, please donʼt stop. Iʼll be good, I promise.ˮ
“Yeah, you will.ˮ I drop as far as I can take him, savoring the stuttered animalistic groan he lets out as I press down onto him, pulling his hair and moving my hips around him. As he is want to do, heʼs thrusting up into me, even if heʼs unable to reach me with his hands held up as they are. “Eager, sweet boy. Iʼm gonna ruin you.ˮ
And ruin him, I do. The tension and heat in my belly rides and breaks several times, with him unable to form real words except for the continuous begging of please donʼt stop repeated on a loop until I feel Iʼm satisfied with his demeanor.
Once Iʼve tortured him enough, I reach for the cuffs, ready to let him off the leash - knowing that once I do, the balance will shift. Truthfully, Iʼm just eager to let him be true to his word and fuck me like heʼs been dying to.
“You donʼt need any more confessions from me, then?ˮ He huffs, sweat slicked across his brow from the effort of holding back - though heʼs not really done so, has he?
“One last one, I suppose.ˮ I pull off of him, and the pout he gives nearly makes me sit right back down on him again.
“Alright, Iʼll be good and honest with you, then.ˮ He continues while I set to unlocking the cuffs, “You know the other day, just after we got the final piece of evidence put together?ˮ
I nod.
ˮI was so psyched, I couldʼve taken you right there. I donʼt care that everyone would have known, would have seen. Itʼs just something you do to me.ˮ He finishes, his tone light. Oh boy, Iʼm about to get railed. “I love you. And now Iʼm gonna fuck you like Iʼve been wanting to for weeks.ˮ
No sooner is he free, tearing off the shirt he was wearing and looming over me with the hungriest of looks at my body before pressing himself into me. No wait, no teasing - heʼs not got the control for it, clearly, and Iʼm not complaining one bit.
“Next time, you get the cuffs, pretty girl.ˮ He promises, his hands all over my body now that he can manage it. Hard, precise thrusts, his voice heavy and fucked-out.
“And Iʼll show you just what Iʼve been wanting to do that Iʼm gonna savor in my mind after.ˮ
My nails are leaving deep trails in his back, surely leading to marks that would raise questions if anyone else saw. Heʼs so far in me, almost bottomed out, and itʼs almost too much and yet not enough all at once. I pull him closer, and his hand tangles in my hair while the other clasps around my throat.
“Youʼre all mine.ˮ Spencer growls - truly, thereʼs not other word for it, the purely animal drive taking him to a world where itʼs just us, just this. And Iʼm there too, crying out with the ecstasy his body causes my own.
“All yours.ˮ
“Thatʼs right, pretty girl. Say it for me, I wanna hear you say it.ˮ
“Iʼm all yours, Spence- oh, my god-ˮ
“Good, thatʼs good. My pretty girl. Youʼre so tight, you feel so good wrapped around me, donʼt you? God, what a sight.ˮ Here he is, in his rambles now, and I can hardly contain how close I am. “Wanna tell everyone this is mine. Iʼm the only one that gets to have you, gets to fuck you like this. See you break for me. Only me.ˮ
“Only you, Spence, only you-ˮ
“Cʼmon, I know youʼre close, I can feel it. You get so much tighter, god, if itʼs even possible-ˮ
“Spencer-ˮ
“Thatʼs my girl, cum for me.ˮ
“Donʼt stop-ˮ I can feel the cord in me ready to snap, chasing my most intense orgasm of the night with his words and the feeling of him slamming so deep inside me. “More, Spence, you can give me more-ˮ
“Sweet girl, of course, I know you can handle it.ˮ He pushes himself fully in, my breath catching at the slight pain, yet itʼs still so good, I canʼt stop it, I donʼt want to. “Want me to fuck you so good with all of me, donʼt you?ˮ
I nod against his grasp, and he loosens it a bit, kissing me fervently.
“Please, please cum for me, I wanna feel you all over me, beautiful.ˮ He reaches down, his thumb rubbing circles on my clit. Itʼs the last thing I need to send me over that edge, and I cry out, his name slipping past my lips unwarranted. “Oh, baby, love how you say my name. Like itʼs a prayer, like Iʼm a god.ˮ
“Donʼt stop, Spence-ˮ
“Iʼm close, baby- Oh, I wanna cum in you-ˮ
Another orgasm follows near immediately after this one, and Iʼm grasping at him while heʼs chasing his own, his hands fumbling and his thrusts getting sloppy. He grips the sheets, his breaths stunted.
“Cum in me, please-ˮ
“Iʼm gonna, god, Iʼm so fuckinʼ close-ˮ He tightens around me, muscles shaking as he lets loose, and now itʼs his turn to moan my name a lot louder than he should while he cums. Heʼs so pretty when he does, too - the crease that works between his brows, the round pucker to his lips. Partly through, he kisses me, hard. And when heʼs done, his grip loosens, falling slack on top of me with a contented sigh.
A few moments pass where he just holds me, peppering soft kisses across my face and telling me you did such a good job, baby. Then, he pops up with a smile and comes back with water and a towel, cleaning up after himself.
“Satisfied?ˮ I chuckle, slowly pulling my clothes back on.
“Almost.ˮ He dips his head down, capturing a nipple in his mouth for a few moments. I groan, overstimulated, but still too happy to appease him. “Now, Iʼm satisfied. Iʼm staying in here, okay? Donʼt care if someone sees at this point.ˮ
“Spence?ˮ
“Mmhm?ˮ
“I love you, too.ˮ
1K notes · View notes
marlenesluv · 7 months
Note
heyy i was wondering if u could write a max, daniel, or carlos x super southern (like from the DEEP south/not texas) dallas cowboys cheerleader (kleine powell fc plz shes so gorg) smau and everyone is surprised that theyre together. or alternatively same premise but with an lsu tiger girl (fc darah haidet) and shes a lot younger. us southern girls get no rep lmao and ily
Unexpected. (DR)
hi! thank you sm for the request. i absolutely love this sm!! i went with daniel for this one, he’s too cute. i genuinely never see any southern girl stuff, so i hope you love this! and ily too!!also, y/n is a dcc, but she’s from louisiana. i never mention a state tho so you can imagine a diff one!!
pairing: daniel ricciardo x dcc!reader
fc: kleine powell
warnings: none!
note: i went ahead and made this not a soft launch (im limited with photos lol) also age gap is 8 yrs in this one!
masterlist here -> masterlist link
^ check my list for all posts! ^
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liked by: y/n.user, pierregasly, and 1,872,055 others
tagged: y/n.user
danielricciardo: hiked a bit, and picked up this pretty lady along the way
view comments…
landonorris: you have a girlfriend? i never thought i’d see the day
|> danielricciardo: you’re talking??
y/n.fp: is that our girl?? our cowgirl is dating a man that makes cars go vroom!?!?
|> f1.fp: when worlds collide
y/n.user: wouldnt have wanted to hike those 12 miles with anyone else :)
|> danielricciardo: :)))
dcc.fans: does this mean daniel is gonna come to games?
charles_leclerc: is she converting you full cowboy?
|> y/n.user: of course i am🙃🤠
yourbsf: awwww, you guys are so cute. pls let me meet him
|> y/n.user: soon, honey🫣
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liked by: danielricciardo, francisca.cgomes, and 862,274 others
tagged: danielricciardo
y/n.user: who’s going to tell him that these are not the dcc colors….💙🤍
view comments…
fanpage.dcc: UNEXPECTED RELATIONSHIP
|> y/n.fanpage: LOVE IT THO??
danielricciardo: sugar, it’s texas’ colors…..
|> y/n.user: i’m not from texas daniel, we’ve been over this😐
|> danielricciardo: let me grab my blue and white before the game
|> y/n.user: thank you, hun☺️
pierregasly: have fun with his annoying ass
|> danielricciardo: HEY. she loves my ass, thank you very much
|> y/n.user: 😇
formula1fp: this was not on my bingo card for this year. i’m not mad about it tho
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twitter:
Formula 1 Wag News @formulaonewags • 2d
New Wag: Y/N Y/L/N has been posted by Daniel Ricciardo recently, saying that he “picked up this pretty lady” referring to Y/N. She is a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, at 26 years old. They have yet to officially announce their relationship, but with both posting, daniel going to games, and not denying their friends, we have strong reasons to believe they are dating.
|
DCC Updates @dccupdates • 2d
We think thet have been seeing each other or talking for a while. Y/N has stayed away from guys at parties (via her friends posts) and Daniel has been posting a lot at home. Maybe this has been going on for a while?
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liked by: y/n.user, carlossainz55, and 2,109,240 others
tagged: y/n.user
danielricciardo: first date, kinda nervous. do you guys think she likes me? 🙁
view comments…
y/n.user: i do i do i do🫠🫶
|> danielricciardo: i like you too🤭🫶
dallascc.updates: pls pls this is way too cute but i’m shook
|> f1updatepage: aren’t we all?
georgerussell63: theres no way you’re dating a dcc-
|> carmenmmundt: they’re so cute!!
|> georgerussell63: yeah, but how?
|> danielricciardo: im very charming
yourbsf: actually adorable asf. i’m soso glad you’re both so happy together :’)
|> y/n.user: thank you, babes🙁🫶
maxverstappen1: i hope you guys had a good date!
|> danielricciardo: we did ☺️
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liked by: y/n.user, oscarpiastri, and 1,982,140 others
danielricciardo: another hike, another race sunday
view comments…
y/n.user: you’re gonna do so amazing ☺️
|> danielricciardo: wear my cowboy hat?
|> y/n.user: i’ll be there with the hat and boots on 🤠
|> danielricciardo: 😊
f1.wag: new y/n content? yes plsssss
carlossainz55: i’m still confused on how you got a girlfriend
|> maxverstappen1: we’re all confused
dcc.posts: our favorite hikers 🥾
y/nfanpage: i livveeee for them
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liked by: landonorris, danielricciardo, and 1,027,174 others
tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris
y/n.user: p2 for daniel = proudest gf today. although i would be proud no matter what. thank you for being such a sweet, funny, supportive, and entertaining bf. i am not thanking you for bringing lando on the same plane, jk
view comments…
landonorris: those tension headache pills didn’t help?
|> y/n.user: nope
|> landonorris: oops 🫣
f1.updates: trio we needed
danielricciardo: my favorite cowgirl❤️
|> y/n.user: my favorite cowboy❤️
|> wagsof.f1: i’m actually so lonely i’m sobbing
formula1.page: you😭 guys😭 are😭 adorable😭
lilymhe: cutestttt
|> y/n.user: you’re too sweet💓
|> lilymhe: 💓💓
y/n.fp: i am never getting over this relationship. f1!driver and southern cheerleader? k. my life is complete
yourbsf: MY PARENTS
|> danielricciardo: oh dearie
|> y/n.user: 😳
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(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)
682 notes · View notes
Text
don't hold hands, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: You're fucking your ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend. You also now own a condo with him and owning this condo has made you house-poor. Yeah, it's not the usual love story and it's not going to be one. Not until you paint the walls black, that is.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language; mostly conversations and feels tbh; minor smut (fem reader, marking / scratching, m-receiving oral, doggy, penetrative sex); non-idol!AU; guitarist!music producer!Yoongi x novelist!reader - fwb / roommates-to-lovers
just a story about two people who shouldn't fall in love falling in love, I have plenty of nasty smut so this is a different beat for ya lmao
--
“Is it fun being tortured?”
“Not really, no.”
It wasn’t fair to be this critical but, as long as you didn’t let these words travel outside this room, it was fine, right? At least, you kept telling yourself that. Delusion at its finest.
“It’s so stupid that people enjoy sticking their nose in drama that doesn’t involve them only because their lives are too boring to have any,” you sighed, tossing your phone across your desk, letting it skid into a pile of post-its covered in scrawled notes. “All because I deleted some photos.”
Notifications were now blocked.
“Some people mistake privilege with right.”
You glared at your phone even though the contents were the offender and not the device. Rolled your eyes, knowing you would be coming back to a shitstorm, but you couldn’t take it anymore. There had to be a limit. And the voice beside you had been telling you to put the damn thing down and stop deleting comments one by one, but the stubborn ram in you thought you could just headbutt through the bullshit.
And that imagery was gonna end there, thank you very much.
Your forehead found the palm of your hand and you sighed again, suddenly feeling the weight.
“I’m never doing that again.”
“You don’t have to.”
Minutes passed.
Silence never felt so serene.
Then it was cut through by steady, slow acoustic guitar, the notes drifting out from behind you. It almost made you feel more guilty. Almost. How fucked was that? You, sitting here right now, staring at nearly bare walls and a table covered in notes and your trusty laptop, almost feeling guilty for the guy that had backed out of the joint loan for this condo in the city that you didn’t even fuckin’ want, but you had been too far into the process to not lose a whole lotta money and too angry to let yourself lose.
How ironic, feeling guilty for the guy who cheated on you.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not,” was the guitar player’s response. “And you shouldn’t be either. For anything.”
You knew you shouldn’t apologize. It just felt like the thing to do, because you hadn’t been wholly right either and, even if you weren’t more in the wrong, you were still wrong, and wasn’t that fucked, putting levels of blame on a situation that, at the end of the day, was all said and done and left everybody bitter and full of scars.
The shitty part was everyone was on your case now and blaming you.
This was what you got for dating the lead singer of a punk band that skyrocketed to popularity on social media. Looked all elegant dark romance on TikTok and Instagram, just screaming and hate-fucking behind closed doors. Constant content to cover up the toxicity. And maybe it was your fault too, letting it get to your head that maybe you really were the beautiful, mysterious muse that the followers painted you out to be. You glossed over red flags – late nights, drugs and drinking, sleeping in rooms of girls that called themselves fans – all part of the industry. Nothing happened. Honest. But the greatest mistake was letting him tag you on Instagram. How cool was it that you were an author?
This bastard.
Not only had you given him some of your best quotes for his lyrics, but now you couldn’t publish those words as your own because this bastard would fuckin’ sue you for plagiarizing.
The guitar continued behind you, on the mattress on the floor.
So, not only were you getting crucified on social media at the moment because he had called you a backhanded bitch in his Instagram stories but also because you had deleted all photos of him on your profile and said fucking nothing. Silence to be polite and all that. He cheated on you, he was leaving you for some whore you had plenty of suspicions about, and, worst of all, he waited until you and him were finalizing the down payment for this expensive-ass-fuck high-rise condo – that money was out of your own pocket, not his, how convenient – and backed out of the loan for the mortgage. His reasoning?
You cheated on him first.
Hello?
With his former guitarist.
Hello?
Your ex-boyfriend had fired his former guitarist ages ago because you and him had gotten too friendly.
Alright, man.
You liked the guy, sure. Talked to him when he was in the studio and found you had a lot in common. Plus, he was crazy talented. Made most of the melodies, self-produced a lot of the songs for the band so they could save money, even contributed to lyric writing so they didn’t have to spend on that either. He even had a good voice, although sadly the band rarely used it. Your art of words paired with his knowledge of music made some viral hits. But then tensions rose between him and your ex when they started butting heads for no reason (there was a reason and it was ugly jealousy). Then arguments rose between you and your ex, but instead of breaking up, you buried yourself into writing your next novel to let the situation cool off.
Sigh, okay, call a spade a spade.
You were avoiding the confrontation.
He fired his guitarist and got a new one.
Then things were good.
Until they weren’t.
Of course, they weren’t. You didn’t solve shit, and he was fucking every girl that threw themselves at him behind your back. Good thing you had strict rules about condoms, otherwise you would probably have some lasting consequences right now. So, when the ground cracked and split apart from under you, what did you do?
Yup, this was the part that made you no better.
You found that former guitarist and fucked him.
Word travelled around. Word also travelled around that somehow you got someone to be part of that insane loan you got talked into. And, oh, shit, did things get messy once a certain someone knew who it was.
But here you were.
Feeling guilty.
You probably couldn’t publish for at least six months to a year because, harrowingly, your demographic was young adult – you had even relied on social media for self-marketing, fuck – and the half of a novel you had now had to be scrapped considering that so many of the quotes were now distressed in dark venues by the lips of an egomaniacal dick that you allowed into your pussy far too many times. Once was already too many.
Fuck.
You didn’t even want to live in the city.
It’ll be so much easier for me to get bigger opportunities. Don’t be a selfish bitch and only think about yourself.
You wanted to scream.
You wanted to throw your laptop into the wall and break it into smithereens, but you didn’t because this piece of technology was currently your only chance of making money. Fuck. Me. Always talking about himself like he was only important member of the band, even though it was the other guys who wrote most of the music and lyrics. No one sided with you, obviously. This was their job and technically not their romance. They were sympathetic but not empathetic to the point of jeopardizing their jobs. Obviously, you hadn’t signed any contracts for royalties or credit. This was supposed to be your soulmate.
Soulmates weren’t so generous to give you pennies.
You’re being greedy and self-important. Oh, so you’re only in the relationship for the money? I’ll give you money once we make it big. Once we get it all, I’ll buy you everything you want. But you gotta help me out now. We’re starving artists, ya know?
You should have asked your parents for monetary help, but you didn’t. Your pride didn’t want to hear the told-you-so speeches for dating a guy they didn’t choose for you. You also didn’t want the arranged marriage appointments back in your life either.
So.
Trapped in white walls, post-its of false starts, and impending doom.
Dramatic, but you were a writer.
“Come here and sit down with me.”
Some part of you didn’t want to face him. It was really dumb. He was your new roommate now. You were fucking him when you were too sad to avoid it, and it was pretty obvious he knew. You were living off his money. Sure, he only paid for half the rent but then food mysteriously appeared in the fridge, bathroom necessities were stocked when they were running low, cleaning supplies neatly sorted into the closet, and all that other shit. None of that wholesale stuff either, but the nicer things normal households could afford.
It wasn’t an exaggeration that you cried into the soap during your shower last night.
All because you finally acknowledged it wasn’t one of those shitty bars that made skin feel like plastic but actually fragrant lathering liquid that you could put on the dense, not-falling-apart-in-one-use loofah that you hadn’t bought. You would have been satisfied with cutting coupons and living on the dregs of the bare minimum, but someone cared enough to not let you do that, and you currently couldn’t do anything to contribute and probably couldn’t for a while.
And that made you feel undeserving.
Maybe you were only fucking him because that was all you could offer.
Pathetic.
The guitarist called your name softly.
Like a beaten dog, you got up and sat down beside Min Yoongi.
He continued to play a melody you didn’t know on his black acoustic guitar. He hadn’t moved in all his instruments and equipment yet. You had told him he could have the whole living room for his studio. He had asked if you were sure and you responded that you were sure that you weren’t going to have anybody over ever so, unless he wanted a living room space, you didn’t want one.
“Shit always happens, you know,” the deep voice reminded you.
“This happening was of my own doing and now I’ve ruined my own life,” you muttered, bitter over a boy and hating that you were bitter over a boy.
A small chuckle. “You have to admit you had help.”
Stupid boy.
“Can’t be helped. Humans are animals of regret.”
It stung to regret.
The guitar playing stopped and now you were met with silence.
Don’t cry.
But it was so tiring to be angry. So easy to be sad. So easy to think, my fault, for being swept up in what he was but not who he was, for believing that you knew what was best when clearly it wasn’t, for being spiteful on purpose. For avoiding looking at Yoongi in the face because you were too ashamed to acknowledge what was going on here.
For being too afraid to ask what he thought of it.
“I regretted not stealing you from him sooner. Thought you were too fuckable for that loser from the first day we met.”
A strange feeling.
Skin prickling, glancing the that pale hand of graceful, callused fingers simply resting on the neck of that guitar, not looking at Yoongi’s face even though you knew it quite well in profile.
“That’s one way to make me feel better,” you replied.
“I’m not trying to make you feel better. Just being honest,” he replied, tapping his fingertips on the wood. “You are ten times too talented and a hundred times too pretty for a guy like that.”
You twitched. “Are you shitting on my standards?”
“Back then? Yeah, I am.” A calm hum, setting aside his guitar and placing his elbows on his sweatpants-covered knees, charcoal gray and worn. “Pretty clear you went full desperado for a guy that didn’t deserve it. Also, he ain’t hot shit like he thinks he is.”
Ow and what the fuck. “Fuck off.”
You felt movement and tracked his hand raising, spinning a finger around his temple. A brief glance and the details sank in. Long, windswept black waves, light cream skin, pointed gaze directed forward and not at you, pensive slight frown of pink lips. You looked away again, past his loose white t-shirt and to your hands.
You used to be proud of them.
They used to be able to type prose like no other.
Now they were twisted in an oversized, olive-green sweatshirt that you picked up from the sale bin of the convenience store for dirt cheap and they didn’t write jack shit.
You also hated olive-green.
Nothing personal. It just wasn’t your color.
“You’re a psycho bitch to put up with him,” Yoongi commented.
He wasn’t wrong. “I’m a psycho bitch all the time.”
“Yeah, and I don’t date crazy.”
You thought you would feel insulted, but you were past the point of caring. Also, there was something about the way his calm voice said it. Like he knew what he was doing. Huh. That was a silly thing to think. Of course, Yoongi knew what he was doing. He did it. He let you in his studio when you tracked it down and camped out until he showed up. He had listened to your psychobabble and didn’t back away when you pinned him to the wall.
This wasn’t dating.
“At least, I thought I didn’t,” Yoongi added, not touching you.
He fucked you too. He wasn’t a starfish in bed, that was for sure.
“I wanted to get back at him too, you know,” that deep, hazy voice murmured beside you. “That bastard turned my friends against me, stole my mixes, and cut out all my connections. Made me start from the ground up, alone.”
Yeah, you did know that. You helped badmouth Yoongi. In the name of love.
Shit.
“Sorry.”
“You’re not sorry.”
Ouch.
“And you shouldn’t be, ‘cause what’s done is done and being sorry isn’t going to change anything.”
You untwisted your hands from each other, realizing your knuckles were white from anxiousness, and relaxed them on your bare knees. Best you could, anyway.
“Yeah,” was the best response you had. This fucking boy ruined your life and stole your eloquence too, apparently. Motherfucker. “You’re right.”
Neither you or Yoongi said anything.
Minutes passed.
Another night in the condo and both of you were sitting on a mattress with a single blanket, deflated pillows, and a box of condoms on the floor.
You touched his forearm the same time his hand moved to grip your thigh.
And then it was the don’t-look-him-in-the-eyes challenge, and he was doing the exact same thing, eyes averted, black hair over them, lips grazing your jaw. Breath against your ear. Hot. His neck under your lips, flexed, fair skin with remnants of bruises, and your teeth sank in, making new ones, listening to his hiss and feeling his hands slide under your sweatshirt. Weighted palms and blunt nails. Digging in.
“Harder.”
He scratched you up as you climbed into his lap, tasting flesh.
Those firm hands gripped your hips and forced them down. Grinding. Softness to growing hardness, unhooking your bra, hands all over like you had lost your mind, your thighs squeezing his sides, yanking his shirt collar down and licking up his collarbone, dripping spit, shivering as you saw it glisten over his marred skin.
Clothes coming off, thrown aside. Guitar sliding to the hardwood floor as bodies tumbled. Your hands on his chest, your hard nipples pressed into the sheets as Yoongi slipped his hand into your hair and shoved your head down. Mouth open, tongue curling around. Moan striking the air, echoing in the nothingness.
Hard, hot, now wet.
Up, down, hitting the back of your throat, unable to choke in the adrenaline of lust, in need, in desire for pain, rubbing your tongue all over as Yoongi face-fucked you hard and fast, thick cock swelling in your mouth, your lips grazing the swollen head and making him shudder, saliva slipping down your chin that was smacking into his balls.
Was it shameful that you were good at it?
Sex solved nothing but you sure had a lot of it as if it did.
A sharp gasp and salty cum filled your throat, drinking, swallowing with effort and the burning sensation of your locked jaw, maintaining the soft tightness. Tongue tracing the contours, keeping him hard, hearing the rip of a foil packet above your head.
You hadn’t even realized that Yoongi had let go of your hair, letting you lick him all over at your own pace.
“What position?” Yoongi panted, husky and breathless in the mostly empty bedroom.
Mattress, chair, desk, laptop. Oh, and guitar.
Bodies on the floor.
You didn’t say anything.
You just turned around and slid down, elbows on the bed, knees spread, ass up.
“Alright then.”
You bit your lower lip.
You almost turned your head, almost looked back, just to check, right, just to check he was okay with it, and then strong hands gripped your hips, lifting them, sliding in, condom on and stretching you out right away, his knees pushing your knees apart and forcing you to arch your back for the angle.
No chance to look back.
You gasped, gripping the sheets, blinded by pleasure and the fading resonance of pain.
Hard.
Deep.
You pushing back, deep not deep enough, hitting your preferred depth and letting your eyelids flutter, veins burning with the repeated ecstasy. One of your hands lifted and reached back, squeezing his hand on your hip, and the grip became tighter, fingertips digging in, smacking his hips into your ass, and your body threatened to throw him back, carnal power meeting his every thrust, clenching around his hard length, and you could hear Yoongi growl your name, low and deep and voracious.
Somehow, his name fell from your lips too.
Rough and sinful, no better than an animal.
His nails dug into your back and dragged down, burning lines into your skin.
Your head tipped back and you moaned, a clear, shameless sound that would become familiar to this ceiling. Pooling wildfire, tightening muscles, wasted nectar sticky between joined thighs, surge after shivering surge of orgasmic apex stinging your veins as you barely registered Yoongi’s shudder and blissful groan, feeling the pulse inside you made than hearing the sound.
The rush of blood roaring in your ears was far too loud for you to hear anything.
Your face felt hot, so hot.
Gripping the sheets, twisting them, pulling them off the edge of the bed.
This moment.
Very few things were as intense and exigent as an orgasm. Fleeting, but a violently memorable. Pure nothingness of soaring high. You chased it. Again. And again. And again, your fingers tangled in Yoongi’s dark hair, pulling it over his face but he didn’t look at you anyway, eyes closed and teeth trapping his lower lip, breath trapped in his chest, driving his hips into yours again and again.
You both kept going until the limits were reached.
The darkness willingly swallowed you up.
-
Min Yoongi always considered himself a rational person, which was precisely why he found himself entangled in the break-up between his former best friend and the only woman he ever considered committing a felony for.
Yeah.
He also didn’t believe in love at first sight.
She was still way too hot for that idiot though.
His eyes could communicate well enough with his dick. The short skirt and exposed thighs didn’t really help either. Still, Yoongi had let it be. Respect was keeping his distance despite racing heartbeat and keeping calm despite shaking hands. He got used to it once the late-night talks about music and wordplay became a regular thing. Sometimes they talked about general life and were surprised on how well they aligned. Still, she never spoke poorly about her then-boyfriend even though there was plenty to talk about.
Scorched earth was their sacred ground.
It was painful to witness.
Yoongi regretted valuing the friendship, mostly because it didn’t mean jack shit at the end of the day. He regretted believing in the elegant, age-old saying.
Bros before hoes.
Tch.
But mostly, Yoongi regretted pretending like nothing was wrong.
He would see the pain in her expression and not say anything. Watch her pack it all away and greet him with warmth that he didn’t deserve because he had a racing heart and shaking hands every time they met. He would watch his former best friend disappear into hotel rooms without explanation and Yoongi knew damn well it wasn’t right, but he kept his mouth shut because he was a coward, something he figured out later.
He could have washed his hands clean of that shitshow, but instead his hands had held her shaking shoulders and watched her struggle not to cry on that cold night.
Yoongi considered himself a rational person, but never a good one.
Too many ways to judge, and her lips had already connected with his as soon as his shoulder blades hit the wall. He didn’t stop it. Maybe it was bitterness. Vengeance. Hate.
No, it wasn’t any of that, actually.
He didn’t know exactly what but, in that moment, Yoongi knew that he would murder that asshole if he saw his former best friend’s face right then, ready to commit a felony all because those beautiful eyes couldn’t look at him, closing instead to blink back the tears that bastard didn’t deserve.
That meant something, all right.
He knew it could take a long time. He knew it would almost certainly be hopeless. He knew he would probably end up with a broken heart and broke as hell. He knew it was a bad idea and he knew it was going to tear him up, this spiral, but when he found himself looking up to the ceilings of these mostly empty rooms, this condo he now half-owed with the woman that was formerly his best friend’s girlfriend, and Yoongi found he didn’t know and he didn’t care what the future held.
She had trouble sleeping.
Less trouble after exhausting themselves.
He had trouble sleeping too, but that was because he was staring at the ceiling and wondering just how rational he really was. One hand behind his head, under the pillow. The other resting on the blanket, on the curve of her hip, feeling the steady hum of her breathing.
She never cried in front of him.
He knew she did cry, because he heard her in the bathroom sometimes. But never in front of him. Showed anger, yes, but never acted helpless even though it was perfectly reasonable to feel that way after everything that happened. Living on the least for his sake, even to the point of skipping meals and spending all her time trying to write, trying to get back to her livelihood, trying to get past all the false starts. Personally, Yoongi felt that she should give up for now and heal herself, but he also knew how it felt to feel stubborn and useless.
Hah.
It was weird, being so close and yet so far away.
He felt it most in the nighttime, even though that was when he was closest to her.
He was never going to be the same. He knew that. He already wasn’t, surprising himself with his own recklessness, and for what? He didn’t even know what she was capable of reciprocating after receiving all those scars. Didn’t even know if he was the right one, if he was better or worse, if…
If he was believing in something that wasn’t there.
Yoongi closed his eyes and went to sleep.
-
Livid.
It was weird. Feeling it. In the past, you buried it, numb, and promptly lived in delusion. But now you could feel it. What was more, you let yourself feel it. There wasn’t anything to stop you except for the occasional mental peanut gallery of you’re a bad person if you feel jealousy, but anger could overtake anything if you let it.
You stared at the scene before you, several meters away.
Seething.
It felt good.
Mostly because it was honest.
It surprised you. You hadn’t expected to feel anything. Sad, maybe. You had already been cheated on, so naturally you assumed the cycle would begin anew, just with less promises and in the gray area of uncertainty. But, no, instead of being distraught and delusional, you felt maddeningly, viciously, nearly on-the-edge of making a fist and dislocating Min Yoongi’s jaw from his skull because he was speaking to a female-presenting human at the entrance of the building that housed his and others’ music studios.
Did you lack context? Yes.
Would that get you arrested? Yeah, probably.
Would that probably not get your laid anymore and label you as an unhinged psychopath? Without a doubt.
But would it feel good?
Don’t know.
You had never punched someone before, although maybe you should have practiced on your ex-boyfriend. He was probably a more deserving candidate. In any case, you remained frozen in perplexation at your willingness for violence because you were pretty sure your… relations… with Yoongi were nothing more than a lonely bitch and a spiteful silver tongue executing revenge, so the amount of fucks you should give about Yoongi speaking to any human being – other than the obvious health and safety precautions – should be zero.
None.
Basket of fucks empty.
And yet.
Clearly wasn’t since you were mentally calculating the angle and force for jaw dislocation while having zero experience in doing so. In any sort of non-virtual manner, that is.
Hm.
Your hands were firmly in the pockets of your black cargo pants. The hip ones, although you had plenty of choice. You kept them there for the safety of passerby or, maybe deep down, yourself. This caused your jacket to fall open, the outlines of the sew-on patches and thick, bunched-up black denim crowding the space between your forearm and waist, your black cropped tank exposed to the chill evening air. You used to wear a plethora of band t-shirts, but, well, those were probably in a landfill or rotting in a secondhand shop.
You figured you would be cold. Unsurprisingly, the anger kept you warm.
Huh.
You thought about turning around and just straight up leaving, petty and picturesque of course, and then Yoongi seemed to sense your projected violence, looking up from the conversation. Dark waves over his cheeks, striking body line, backing away, hiding his eyes for a moment, not that you could see them that well from this distance. You twitched.
The girl reached out.
Yoongi simply bowed, out of reach, and pushed the glass door open.
Honestly, her role in this moment was so miniscule that you completely ignored whatever she did or possibly could have said to Yoongi’s retreating back. Sharpened gaze, and then he crossed the street with the crowd, walking past oblivious bystanders who may or may not become the harrowed audience of the next thirty seconds.
He stopped before you. Bomber jacket, white shirt, black track pants. Monochrome elegance.
You looked up at him, saying nothing.
Over one shoulder was his usual guitar bag that held said instrument and his yellow notepad sticking out of the pocket. He used it to jot down whatever came to him. You almost said something. Almost. Then you remembered that if this, this between you and Min Yoongi, if this was supposed to be nothing, then weren’t you supposed to do nothing but voice your casual annoyance for making you wait rather than, well.
Admit insecurity?
You looked away quickly.
No, it did not matter how reasonable it was, you didn’t like knowing that somehow you had been weakened by an ex-boyfriend, barely a man, no, a mere locust at best, so it was better to not say anything and accept that this was–
“Sorry, I got caught up with the staff about ending my lease.”
Compromised.
You didn’t look at him. “What?”
“Gonna end my lease this month and move my studio stuff to the condo. I can’t afford both.”
He had told you this already. It had been your idea. You already knew you were overreacting to a situation that you created in your head rather than reality. And, yet, the best your mind would allow was uh huh, a plausible explanation, sarcasm included.
“Ah. Right,” was your sharp, mildly frigid reply.
“I can’t read your mind.”
Do you intend to be exhausting?
Your mental peanut gallery was super annoying.
You breathed in. Cool, crisp air. The sound of cars and people bustling in and out of stores. You breathed in again. Did you really intend to be exhausting, irrational, and, worst of all, dishonest? Really, after all that had happened? After getting here, standing here, arriving to pick up Yoongi at his request to do the grocery shopping together?
You turned back to look right into black-brown, piercing orbs.
“I just realized that I have the ability to be jealous,” you exhaled, draining your lungs. “It’s unpleasant and not nearly as delightfully pivotal as the media makes it out to be.”
Something fluttered in those orbs.
Or maybe it was the wind catching his bangs, drifting black strands over his eyes shadowed by dark circles.
Yoongi half-smiled.
“Makes for good songwriting material though.”
There was an air of helplessness to his words. A tone you couldn’t define, except for the understanding, which left you both baffled and with a sense of guilt. There were emotions in that barely-there smirk on those familiar lips. Relief. Maybe a slight bit of shame. A shadow of guilt too. You realized people were glancing at you and him as they walked past, wondering why you both were at a standstill on the sidewalk. Yoongi seemed to not notice them or care.
You pulled your hands out of your pockets.
“Come on. We should go before it gets dark.”
Before you noticed it, your hand was rising.
You pulled it back, but not fast enough.
Yoongi’s free hand reached out and grasped around yours, strong fingers enclosing. Sliding up, calluses on your palm. Your hand lowered, slowly, your eyes moving in the opposite direction. Lips parting. His hand was colder than yours.
You stared at Yoongi.
He looked back, expression unreadable.
“I don’t hold hands,” you said, suddenly breathless.
You tightened your grip.
“Neither do I,” Yoongi replied, taking a step, on the cusp of walking past you, his hand around yours. “I simply just don’t like the idea of yours getting cold when I can do something about it.”
Previously, when you held hands, it was always with a purpose of showing public affection. The look-how-real-this-is-because-there-are-clear-witnesses show. Front row tickets nobody asked for. But this.
This.
You blinked hard and the sting was inside.
The sting of wasted time.
Your name in that raspy, soft voice. Familiar. You looked up, not saying anything and hoping the eye contact was enough. All Yoongi did was smile lightly and tug your hand.
“Let’s get take-out and shop tomorrow. We have plenty of time to eat healthier.”
-
“You can cry in front of me.”
Min Yoongi heard her breath hitch and still.
Seconds that felt like hours ticked by. It was the dead of night. Or maybe one could call it the time when honesty came to life, if the conditions were right. He knew this time well usually with a drink in his hand, but this time he was laying on his side with bruises of bites and carnal memories lingering on his fingertips.
“I wasn’t crying.”
Her voice was thick and strained from trying to keep it even. Her moment of jealousy had happened days ago. He had recognized it right away. Call it personal experience. He also recognized that she didn’t like to feel that way. It was obvious from her torn yet furious expression. It confirmed a lot of things for him. Still, she seemed pleased to help him move and set up his things in the bedroom. They found the living room to be a bit too echoey due to the large space so they switched the two, pulling the mattress to the living room and setting up his equipment in the center of what was formerly the bedroom.
He told her to paint the condo.
She had mentioned in passing that someday she would like to paint her entire living space black. Not this place, because he owned it too, and you probably think I’m crazy for wanting a dark space, huh, Yoongi? He asked her, why wait? No one lives forever. We’re just passing through.
She had given him a weird look.
We own this condo. Paint it.
There were cans of black paint waiting.
Yoongi had intended to go visit his family over the weekend. His parents and his brother who had recently been promoted to head chef at the classy restaurant he worked at. Someone in the family needed to have prestige. Well, that was his own personal feeling. Surprisingly at this point his parents had even up on telling him to get a higher-paying job. They told him to simply be happy.
And get married.
Yeah, about that.
He was still trying to get used to the music producer thing, for fuck’s sake.
“Are you afraid I won’t understand?” Yoongi let himself say, not turning around yet.
Sometimes, people didn’t want you to see them weak. He could understand that.
Call it personal experience.
A shuddering sigh. Deep breaths. Words bogged down, drained.
“I can only be so pathetic before I lose my mind recalling the past,” she mumbled. He felt her weight deepen on her side of the bed, as if she was trying to melt into the mattress. “I made things hard for myself. For you. It’s pointless to cry about it anyway. In the end, it only makes me look ungrateful.”
Yoongi thought about it.
“It’s true that you probably shouldn’t have involved me.”
He shifted, laying on his back now.
“But I’m not a good person either. I agreed, after all,” he murmured, his skin tingling with bruises and carnal memories. “Hm, to be honest, he was always a dick though, from high school till now. Always will be, I fear.”
“You’re easygoing enough not to be affected by his asshole behavior.”
“Not my job to change people. I leave that to parents and clueless fools.”
A pensive silence. Surprisingly not an irritated one. She seemed to accept it.
“Why did you become his friend?” she asked, staring at the ceiling with him.
“We just happened to like the same thing. Music.”
“I’m lucky you decided to become his friend.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then, “I’m lucky that somehow he managed to bamboozle a hot and clever girl, two things he’s obviously not.”
She almost laughed. Almost.
“Who the fuck uses the word bamboozle?”
“You had to admit you were bamboozled, because you sure as hell weren’t dick-drunk.”
“Oh? You think you’re that good, huh?”
“No, I just know he’s that much worse.”
The faintest of chuckles.
“You… You get better every time,” she admitted. “I think I just caught you off guard the first time.”
“Firstly, I don’t like wasting time and, secondly, I had given up for a while before…” I met you. “Romance seemed like an expensive, worthless distraction when I could be using that time and money trying to push the band forward,” he pivoted, running a hand through his hair to push it out of his eyes. “Then that went to shit.”
“Sorry.”
Automatic.
He chuckled darkly. “I’m confident I got the better deal.”
A trembling pause.
“Why do you think that?”
He reached over and placed his palm on the top of her head, lacing his fingers in her hair. Messing it up.
“Tell me the truth. Was he good at sex?”
A burst of laughter. “Really? Alright. No, he wasn’t. He sucked. Thought he was a piston of a muscle car instead of a human being. Oh, and once he fell asleep on top of me.”
He cocked an eyebrow. Turned his head and forced hers to turn as well.
She was smiling.
Yoongi found his chest tight and breath shallow.
“And you didn’t leave him then… why?” he pressed.
She winced, albeit playfully. “I yelled at him. A lot. I don’t know, maybe he was tired.”
“Not an excuse.”
“I know, I know…” Sigh. “I… I didn’t want to believe I made the wrong choice.” Her eyes shifted, but her body was still turned to face his. “I… It made my entire family angry, dating him. Especially my parents. They would never forgive me and hold it over my head forever. I had to make it work. I thought, if only I worked hard enough…” Another heavy breath, squeezing her eyes tightly. “I know it was pride, but I wanted to prove to them and myself that I could do anything. Bad choices? Maybe. But they were mine. I don’t want my life decided by what is best for me. If I suffer for it, those are my consequences.”
Her eyes opened, but barely.
Yoongi kept his hand on her head, running his fingers through her hair.
“I… I feel like shit because now you’re stuck in my mistakes,” she breathed.
He liked to touch her hair. It felt comforting.
“You know what your problem is?”
She glared under lashes and dared him.
Undeterred, he continued. “You blame yourself for shit that hasn’t even happened.”
A disapproving frown. “Hah?”
He tapped her forehead. “You think it’ll bother me if you cry, but what truly bothers me is that you cry alone.” Pushed back the strands, and now he was closer, sharing breath. “You think I’m stuck in your mistakes. Mistakes don’t inherently have only negative consequences. They almost always exist in a gray area.”
“I... I know that,” she grumbled, face against his chest.
“I did say you were clever.”
A drifting, drowsy silence.
“I’m not clever,” she whispered to his skin, pulling her body closer. “I just like you.”
Yoongi felt himself losing to sleep.
“I’ve always liked you, since the moment I saw you,” he muttered into her hair, breathing in the familiar scent, so quietly that he wasn’t sure if he said it at all.
-
“Ah? Yes? Sorry about that. Oh, yes, uh, I’m painting. Everything. Yes, I’ll be sure the keep the windows open. Thank you.”
You closed the front door of the condo. Well. You had expected nervousness, but somehow the conversation between you and the downstairs neighbor had been very calm. Apparently, he worked from home and wasn’t expecting the loud crash of the ladder from your unit.
In your defense, you hadn’t expected it either.
Thankfully, you hadn’t been on the ladder, only trying to figure out how to set it up. It was one of those compact ones that saved space but required some innovative thinking to get the taller height you needed. One crash and a YouTube video later, the ladder was now secure, and then came the knock on the front door.
The thoughts flew by – I don’t belong here, I can’t do this alone, they’re going to scold me and I haven’t even done the upper half yet – but the guy just seemed curious and confused. Didn’t even comment on your awkward outfit of navy boys’ basketball shorts and ill-fitted gray sports bra. Both on super sale. You were still wearing your bra because of the incorrect size, so the gray blob was bordering on ugly-ass tank top.
Look.
Some people had clothing they didn’t care about to paint in and some people had to dive in sale bins because they left behind most of their wardrobe and, with the clothes, their bad memories.
That was the intent.
Things rarely go as intended.
For instance, you thought you were going to feel imposter syndrome for a neighbor knowing that you were painting your own goddamn walls. You turned away from the door after you locked it, frowning. That’s right. Like it or not, bad decisions and minus an ex-boyfriend later, these were your walls. You looked up, out the large, floor-to-ceiling living room windows, and saw the sunlight sparkle over the sprawling city, walls painted half-black and half white surrounding you, and you could say that you never wanted to be here, but.
It was a sick view.
We own this condo. Paint it.
Your muscles were sore from the repeated swiping motion of the paint roller, but there was still this inexplicable energy coursing through you.
“What if it doesn’t look good?” you had asked Yoongi.
He had shrugged. “Then we paint it again.”
“It’ll be dark.”
“Wow, really? I thought black was supposed to be bright and cheerful,” was the sarcastic quip. “Just believe you have good taste and paint the damn walls.”
This condo was an investment that made you poor.
That was the truth you needed to face.
You have good taste.
You scrunched your face slightly as you remembered Yoongi’s facial expression. Was he… praising you or himself? You squinted. This guy. Picked up the paint roller again and saturated it with ink black, making crispy crinkly sounds as you shuffled over the plastic. Good taste. Well, that was relative, wasn’t it? Everything was at the end of the day. You climbed onto the ladder and began the repetitive, monotone motion once more but at a higher elevation. You should have put your music back on. Your phone was on the plastic-covered mattress and you were not about to go back down until you finished this section or ran out of paint. This was going to be a long process, but you had several days and too much time as Yoongi had already left to visit his family.
Now you were alone with a lot of paint and mind-numbing fumes.
Shit, you should have opened the window.
You would have to paint a second coat anyway. Who cared if the first coat was shitty?
Sigh.
Climbing down and doing your due diligence before returning to your post.
You had forgotten once again to put your music back on. Hah. Well, that was fine; you had yourself. You didn’t mind being alone. Heh, sometimes it was better to be alone. You continued rolling away, hardworking in the consistent rhythm. Thinking about it now, this might have been the first time in a long time that you were okay with being alone. Before, you had felt guilty whenever you weren’t thinking about your relationship. Huh. Odd. Was it some kind of mental self-reassurance when you knew something was off? It was hard to tell, but possible.
Everything was off about that relationship. You just had too much pride to admit it.
You sighed, climbing back down to reload.
Wait a second. Was this why there was that wider step towards the top of the ladder? You poured some more paint in the tray and carried it up with you. Oh shit. Wow. Innovation. You coughed and went back to a different patch of wall. No one saw that. See, perks of being alone.
Well, you didn’t hate Yoongi being here.
You stopped painting.
You didn’t just think that.
You went back to painting. Shut up, nagging feeling. You furiously painted on, ignoring your soreness, telling that little voice in your head to shut up, because there were plenty of reasons not to think stuff like that. Firstly, you weren’t ready to think stuff like that. And what if it was only hopeful transference rather than genuine feeling? Asshole or not, your ex-boyfriend’s betrayal of trust was not something so easily overcome. It wasn’t fair to Yoongi either, pretending to like him if you weren’t sure.
You liked Yoongi before you broke up, too.
Wasn’t that fucked up?
You sighed and came back down, careful to scoot the ladder without spilling and causing a mess. Back up and at it. Of course, it was fucked up. And you knew it was, which might have been why you let it get that bad. Might? Was why you let it get that bad. Two hypocrites were meant for each other. You huffed, puffing your cheeks. It wasn’t enough to hold the ticking grenade; you had needed confirmation it was a, in fact, a bomb.
Maybe even hoping it would end you.
It didn’t.
For some reason, you thought Yoongi could see that in you.
Damn, he’s really living in your system, hm?
You frowned.
Your phone rang.
You almost jumped, startled at the sudden sound of an old song you used to enjoy. Back when you were a teenager, and the memories came back as you climbed down. A kid who just really liked rock’n’roll, and parents who did not, but that kid didn’t care, annoyingly setting it as her ringtone on her shitty flip phone. Couldn’t you be her again? Before you had time to ponder, you checked your hands for paint and picked up your phone, answering it.
“Hello?”
“Did you eat?”
You blinked, sitting down on the crinkly plastic upon hearing that deep, raspy voice. “Uh, no. I was gonna stop by the convenience store when the first coat was done.”
“No, you weren’t. You were gonna skip a meal,” Min Yoongi tutted. “Because you don’t want to be a nuisance and use the money I had left you.”
Damn. He knew you, all right.
“If I forget, I forget,” you grumbled.
“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, pick up the food order from the front desk when it comes. They told me about thirty minutes.”
“You don’t have to order food for me. I’m not a kid,” you hissed.
“It’s the pho spot you like and if I don’t put food in front of you, you won’t eat. You intend to do all that hard work without some fuel?” A pause. You made a disapproving noise. “And I know you’re not a kid. By the way, what’s your waist measurement?”
You remained a grump. “Why?”
“I’m here, so I’m going to buy you some clothes.”
“Don’t buy me clothes. Don’t spend money–”
“You need things,” Yoongi cut you off. “Unless you want to come with me? You don’t trust me?”
“That’s not it and you know it,” you snapped back. “It’s not worth–”
“Of course, it isn’t. It’s vain and silly and superficial. And I’m still going to buy you things, so tell me your waist measurement.”
“Yoongi, this is your hard-earned money,” you puffed out, exasperated.
“Yeah, and I make money to provide you with a good life because I think you are the most important person to me. So, do you want me to guess with my hands or are you going to meet me halfway?”
Dead silence.
He called your name, softly.
You told him in centimeters.
“Got it. Don’t forget to check the front desk in thirty minutes.”
-
“I love you.”
His hair was stuck to his face due to sweat. “What?”
“I said I love you,” she said, staring right at him, their chests shuddering from exertion.
Yoongi couldn’t believe it, but also he wasn’t surprised. The room still smelled faintly like paint. The windows still had no curtains or blinds. They were still fucking on the mattress in the center of the living room and he was holding the used condom when she said I love you.
The walls and ceiling were all black, covering them in darkness as the city below glimmered with light.
“I love you,” was his reply.
It startled him, the suddenness of his response. He knew he did. Of course, he did, and he turned away quickly, making his way to the kitchen and throwing away the condom, skin tingling, cheeks aflame, and he was startled by the feeling that remained. He hadn’t expected those words to come out of her mouth even though he was sure of his own feelings. Yoongi had resigned himself to not hear it from her lips. He also didn’t need to hear it to know that it was true.
He saw her head to the bathroom.
Time was funny sometimes.
Suddenly they were both staring at each other on the mattress, the usual ritual completed, and the moment suspended.
“You didn’t have to say it,” he finally said. “For my sake.”
“I didn’t.” Her hair curled over her shoulder, caressing her curves. “I said it for my sake.”
Blankets and pillows and questions.
“I wondered about the validity of it,” she admitted to him. “Been wrong before and all that. Might still be wrong. So, I said it just to see if I regretted it.”
“Ah.”
They stared into each other’s eyes.
“Do you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No.”
He half-smiled. How very simple yet complicated. He understood. “All the paint fumes really got to your head, huh?”
She looked up at him and he realized with a start that she, too, was half-smiling.
He reached out, smoothing her hair.
“You have a pretty face, Yoongi,” she teased, eyes sparkling.
He raised an eyebrow.
“I thought it would be too cliché, you and me,” she continued and the tone was different now, softer and more serious. “I thought you would get tired.”
She meant, of me.
He had thought this was cliché too. Cliché didn’t mean worthless though. His hand fell, and rested over hers without a second thought. Warm and against the sheets. “If I felt that way, I would have stopped speaking to you long ago. You could take care of yourself too.” Not safely, but could. “Except for money.”
She smirked.
“So you’re saying I need a suga daddy.”
Yoongi twitched.
“Part of me wanted to sell the condo as soon as possible,” she went on, casually glossing over the comment. “But the realtor said it would be a bad idea. I wouldn’t have any buyers without a minimum of six months or a year. Too many superstitions. Part of me thought I should…”
She looked up to the ceiling.
It was a high-rise, after all.
“All the reasons to move here were his. More convenient, better opportunities, owning rather than renting for the investment… I believed in it, more than myself.”
He didn’t say anything. Couldn’t because all those things had benefitted him already. He didn’t only agree to move in help her out. He was still a working music producer. But she didn’t seem to be saying it to condone him.
“I didn’t really think this place was mine until I painted the walls.”
Yoongi thought he should at least confess this part. “That’s why I told you to paint them.”
A small laugh. “You don’t like it, huh?”
“Don’t you remember the walls of the old studio were dark gray? That was my doing. I always resented the last place I rented because they didn’t let me paint the walls.”
“Ah… He painted over the gray.”
“I bet he did.”
They had fallen to the bed now, side by side.
“I didn’t think this would work out,” she breathed.
“I thought it might,” he hummed.
“Why?”
“You’re hot and clever and I wanted you from the first day I saw you.”
A warm chuckle. “Just like that?”
“Well, you had to give me a chance. Couldn’t make the first move due to the circumstances.”
“It was a convoluted and confusing one.”
“Eh, life’s unfair.”
-
“Your husband already paid.”
Your what?
“What?”
The cashier waved you away. You shuffled back, dazed, seeing Min Yoongi emerge from the bathroom in the corner of the restaurant, tucking a bit of his long black hair behind his ears and finding you in front of him.
“The cashier just called you my husband,” you declared.
He shrugged.
“Surprise.”
You blinked at him.
Patrons chatted and laughed as if this was a normal day. The music was horrendous covers of cheesy 2000’s pop. It was very strange, but the pho was good and well-priced, which was why Yoongi and you came here often after his meetings with music companies. Popular talent was in high demand.
He ticked his head to your outfit. “I know you like this dress I bought you, but you’ve left your coat at the table.”
“Oh, shit.”
“You’ve been scatterbrained ever since you started writing again.”
“Shut up.”
--
masterpost
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fairlyang · 3 months
Text
El perdedor 🕷️
finding your ex at the club
w/c: 2.7K
pairing: ex!miguel x latina!reader
tags: rebound, dancing, a lil gay if you squint, shaking ass, jealousy, delulu ex, slowly folding
notes: i posted this shit back in june and when I was reposting everything I really didn’t wanna repost this one but I think there’s more latinas here entonces para ustedes mis amores <3 (only thing I changed from this was the pov bc it was so bad LMAO but it was my 4th fic of mig)
You roll your eyes at your new fling's friend after making a nasty joke of a girl who just walked past you. He takes notice and tells you to stop being so uptight. "Then stop being such a dick." You say and he snorts.
You roll your eyes and look away from him. Having to deal with this bullshit just for some mediocre dick with alright dirty talk? Probably one of my worst decisions to date.
Next to breaking up with Miguel.... But your ego will never let you admit that you miss him and his won't either, clearly since it's been two months. But you couldn't wait around to find out so you’ve been fooling around a bit. Nothing serious since you’re not in the right headspace for that and Daniel knows that. Just here for the drinks, alright sex, and decent conversations.
You’re in line to get into a club but as it's almost midnight it's the hot hour of everyone wanting to get wasted. "Why can't we go to another club? This line is so fucking long-" a girl from fling's friend group asks.
"This is the only one with incredible strippe-"
You groan and shake your head. "Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"It's none of your business actua-"
"You two didn't break up though, Y/n kinda has a point....." Daniel speaks up and he pretends to cry.
"Whah whah- so what? She thinks she can still be friends with her ex while being with me? Then I'll just have my own fun." He says with a smirk and you have the most disgusted look on your face ever.
The other girl does as well and just shakes her head. The lines finally starts moving and at a fast pace actually until it stops with the people in front of you showing the bouncers their ids. You get your out from your bra making the annoying asshole smirk. "Fuck off."
He holds up his hands in defense and Daniel moves to stand next to you. "Soon as we're in there he's gonna be out of our hands alright?" He whispers and you just nod.
The people in front of you finally show them and you step forward. You give it to the bouncer to the left and he looks at it and feels it for a few seconds before handing it back and nods. You move forward, putting it in your phone case, and wait for Daniel to get his checked and you step into the first set of doors. You both wait for the other two and you can instantly smell all the sweat and alcohol. Amazing.
They both finally join you and walk ahead of you, not caring you guys waited. You give Daniel a look and he shrugs. Asshole goes straight to where there are indeed strippers and home girl was nowhere to be seen. That was fast.
"So drinks?" Daniel asks and you nod following him to the main bar.
You walk through people just standing around by booths and table and other who are just making out. You make it to the bar and Daniel says something you can't hear because of the loud techno with pop music. The bartender takes out two shot glasses and fills them to the very top. Daniel picks them both up and gives you yours.
You raise it up and bring it to your mouth and swallow it fast. You gag a little and he laughs. "You fine with just one?"
"For now yeah I think." You say and put the glass back on the counter nodding to the bartender.
You turn back around and watch as Daniel is looking over at a booth almost near the entrance. How can he even see that far.....
You squint but know you have fucked up eye sight so you just stop. "Oh shit- wait here I think I just recognized someone-" he says and starts walking away.
You blink and call out after him, "you're leaving me like that??"
"I'll make it up to you." He turns to look at you then walks away making you roll your eyes. The audacity.
You let out a sigh and shake your head. Dickhead. You turn back to the bar and take a seat. "Another shot please and can you put it on my friend's tab?" You ask with a slight smirk.
He laughs and nods taking out a clean shot glass and once again filling it to the brim. You smile and grab it, then swallow it faster than the first. You don't gag too bad this time and put the glass down. Then your head snaps to the speakers within hearing one singular second of Gasolina by daddy yankee.
You make your way to the dance floor and move in towards the middle where there's a group of girls just dancing with each other. You smile and just dance next to them when one of them grabs your hand and dances with you. You laugh and move your hips to the beat while singing the lyrics with the other girls. All the girls are dancing with each other and taking turns with each other.
You ended up swapping places with another girl and she had the brightest smile while shaking her ass a bit on you. Which was fine because who doesn't like dancing and shaking ass with the girlies to this song?
Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'
Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'
Zúmbale mambo pa' que mi gata prenda lo' motore'
Que se preparen que lo que viene es pa' que le den (duro)
The first girl you were with found you again and stands in front of you and grinds against you to the beat. You held her hips and she grabs your other hand to hold it. So cute.
You switch off with her, dancing on her then shaking a bit of ass on her, and she hypes you up, screaming and smacking it playfully. You turn around and start laughing which makes her do so as well. "Girl give me your number immediately!!" She screams and you nod as she passes me her phone.
"I love making new girlfriends cuando sale gasolina. Todas las hermosas salen y se tan divertido!" She screams and you nod. (I love making new girlfriends when gasolina plays. All the gorgeous girls come out and it's so much fun!)
"Rally up all the baddies with just one song." You scream back and she laughs.
"I'm Y/n by the way!"
"I'm Rosa! I gotta go but we should do this again!! You're an incredible dancing partner!" She exclaims and you grin.
"Anytime!!" You say and wave goodbye as she leaves.
You dance to the beat of the chorus of Perra by tokischa with the leftover girlies as you all scream the lyrics and one girl even got on all floors and crawled her way to her friend. You all screamed and you just burst out laughing until your stomach starts hurting and you have to stop to breathe.
Then you hear El Perdedor by Maluma start playing and you get excited because you love singing it.
Baby (¿Pa' qué me estás llamando?)
"Pa que me estás llamando???" You scream with the two other girls that were left from the little circle.
Dime si es verdad que él te trae loca
(Y ¿ahora es que te importa?) ¿Ah si?
You sing the lyrics but notice the girls already left so there's no more circle or a triangle and now you’re just surrounded by couples. Unfortunate.
Aún no lo creo, que en tan poco tiempo y ya besas otra boca
(De mala) ¿Qué?
You listen to the lyrics and widen your eyes. Seems a little too close to home....
Dime cuál fue mi error
Si mi único delito solo fue amarte
Hoy soy el perdedor (Bebé, no)
Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte
You feel a pit in your stomach suddenly unsure of what it is until you feel a person's presence standing behind you. Their hands grabs your hips bringing you closer to them and you widen your eyes.
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando
They move your hair from the left side of your face and sing the lyrics to you. oh shit-
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
Me parte el alma no volver a verte
"Al fin me toca verte...." He whispers directly in your ear leaving shivers down your spine and arms. (Finally I get to see you)
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
Sabes que no hay nadie como yo
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
No te engañes, no me olvidarás
"I know for you it isn't a lie... and have you told your new man you haven't forgotten about me?" He whispers as those lines play, leaving the lightest kisses below your ear. You pull away slightly pushing him off and turn to look at him.
Está claro que tú mereces alguien mejor
"And you're gonna tell me I deserve better than you?" You ask with a scoff staring right at Miguel O'hara's eyes making him smirk.
No sé en qué fallé, pero no hay otro como yo
Oye ma', dame otra oportunidad
Bien sabes no soy así, solo tú me haces rogar
Mirándome al espejo y peleando con mi ego
Si entre más me alejo, más te pienso
"There's no better than me sweetheart. But you really are the only one I'll ever beg for..." he says his hands slipping to your waist and bringing you as close to him as as possible.
"And I have been fighting my ego trying not to contact you...." he says and you can't believe he's just repeating the lyrics for you and them making complete sense to your situation.
Dime cuál fue mi error
Si mi único delito solo fue amarte
Hoy soy el perdedor
Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte
He whispers the lyrics softly to you then gets kind of annoyed at the last line making you snort.
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
Me parte el alma no volver a verte
"You have no fucking idea how badly the jealousy has been eating me alive..." he growls and you bite your lip.
"So did you tell him about me?" He asks with a smirk on his face.
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
Sabes que no hay nadie como yo
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
No te engañes, no me olvidarás
"Don't be st-stupid-" you say, not even able to keep a straight face or manage to keep the eye contact.
He scoffs and lifts your chin with two fingers to look up at him. Jesus.
Y si te da la gana de volver a verme
Estaré disponible para contestarte
Y yo sé que, por tu parte, no sientes rencores
Quizás mañana vuelvas pa' que te enamore (More')
"I'm actually not sure if you regret it.. but I know deep down you do." He says and you bite your tongue.
"Y envés de mañana," he whispers and moves his face to leave wet kisses on your neck, "tal ves quieres que te enamores de mi otra ves, ahorita mismo." (And instead of tomorrow, maybe you want to fall in love with me again, right now.)
Cuando tomábamos, lo hacíamos
Fumábamos, y reíamos
Éramos dos locos sin saber pa' dónde íbamos
Pero son cosas del destino
Al pasar el tiempo, tú cogiste tu camino
"E-estas loco- no ha- no hables tonterías." You say as your breathing is suddenly all over the place. (Y-you're crazy- don't ta- don't talk nonsense)
He comes up and nibbles on your ear, his hands dangerously near your ass while yours are on his chest. 
Está claro que tú mereces alguien mejor
No sé en qué fallé, pero no hay otro como yo
Dime cuál fue mi error
Si mi único delito solo fue amarte
"Pues porque te pones tan nerviosa?" He whispers and you sigh. (Then why are you getting so nervous)
You feel like you can't even move but you’re not going to admit shit- you can't break that fucking easily.
Hoy soy el perdedor
Él me ha robado el truco para enamorarte
"Porque creo... que yo voy a ser el ganador. Ahora dime en donde está tu otro galán?" He pulls away and looks deep into your eyes. Fuck. (Because I think... that I'm going to be the winner. Now tell me where's your other hunk?)
"Just abandoned my ass- wait- MIGUEL- did you do something to him?!?" You mutter.
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
No puedo negarte, los celos me están matando
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
Me parte el alma no volver a verte
"I'll answer your question if you tell me you love me." He says with a smirk making you groan.
"Miguel I'm not doing this shit with you right now-" you say trying to wiggle out of his grasp fast which you successfully do now trying your best to leave the dance floor.
But he catches up to you, grabs your arm and brings you close to him. Your back against his chest, your ass on his crotch. You bite your lip and shake your head. "Por que apenas vienes a encontrarme?" You look up at him and ask. (Why are you barely coming to find me?)
Y dime que me amas, aunque sea mentira
Sabes que no hay nadie como yo
Y dile en su cara que aún por mí suspiras
Que por mí suspiras, que no, que no, que no
Yo', baby
(Solo fue amarte) Y te hablo claro
He shifts uncomfortably for a second and looks around. "I haven't even been in our universe since the break up love...."
You turn to face him and widen your eyes. "Did something happen?" I ask with a worried expression.
¿Sabes qué?
Él no te hace el amor
No te trata bien
Y que yo fui el primero en tu vida
"I'm not telling you any more. I-I just didn't want to put your life at risk- and well I still don't." He says but it doesn't stop your heart beat from calming down.
"Y-you- can we leave?" You ask and he quickly nods. You hold onto his arm while you try to move past the crowds of people and to the exit.
You walk past the booths by the entrance and Danny was actually there- taking shots off some girl's tits. You roll your eyes and make a mental note to block his ass on everything. "So you really didn't do shit to him...." you mutter and he scoffs.
"You actually thought I did?" He responds sarcastically.
"You're insufferable." You say shaking your head trying to hide your smile.
You walk out the doors and you sigh. He takes the lead in walking you a couple blocks before he pulls up to an alleyway and you furrow your brows. He then makes sure no one is near and pushed a button on his watch so his suit can appear onto his skin. "Really? Instead of an Uber?" You tease and he rolls his eyes.
"Es más fácil." He says and motioning for you to step forward. (It’s easier)
"Claro! Lo que digas codo." You say laughing and holding onto him. (Of course! Whatever you say cheap-stake)
"Jump."
You do so and he suddenly has your legs wrapped around his waist by the side. "You know the drill cariño."
You nod and wrap your arms tightly around his neck. He swings you out and we're high up in the city. All the lights made the city look even prettier especially from up here. Though you never got use to it, the first few times you threw up after. You laugh at the memory and lean your head against his shoulder. You hear him sigh and you do so as well. You’ve missed him.
—————————
translations (lazy to drag em up)
Baby! (Why are you calling me?)
Tell me if it's true that he makes you crazy
(And what's important to you?)
I still can't believe that after such little time you're already kissing someone else
What the hell?
Tell me where I messed up
If my only error was loving you
Today I'm the loser
They've stolen my trick to make you fall in love
And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie
I can't deny you, this jealousy is killing me
And tell it to his face that you still breathe for me
My heart is splitting in two and I won't ever see you again
and tell me that you love me even if it's a lie
You can already see there is no one like me
and tell it to his face that you still breathe for me
Don't trick yourself, you know you won't ever forget me
It's clear that you deserve someone better
I don't know where I messed up but there is no one like me
Listen babe, give me another opportunity you know I'm not like this...you're the only one who can make me beg like this
Looking at myself in the mirror and fighting with my ego the further I get from you the more I think of you
Tell me where I messed up
If my only error was loving you
Today I'm the loser
They've stolen my trick to make you fall in love
And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie
I can't deny you, this jealousy is killing me
And tell it to his face that you still breathe for me
My heart is splitting in two and I won't ever see you again
And tell me that you love me even if it's a lie
You can already see that there isn't anyone like me
and tell it to his face, that you still breathe for me
Don't trick yourself, you won't ever forget me
and if that makes you want to come back to me
I'll be waiting to answer you
I know that for your part you don't feel any resentment
Maybe tomorrow you'll be back to fall in love
When we used to drink we smashed, we filmed it, and we watched it
We were two crazy people not knowing where we were going
But that is talking about destiny
As time went on you chose your path
It's clear that you deserve someone better
I don't know where I messed up
But there isn't anyone like me
Tell me what my mistake was
If my only error was to love you
Today I'm the loser
They've stolen the trick to make you fall in love
And tell me that you love me even if it is a lie
I can't deny you, the jealous is killing me
and tell it to his face, that you're still breathing for me
My heart is splitting in to, I won't ever see you again
and tell me that you love me even if it's a lie
You can already see that there is no one like me
and tell it to his face that you're still breathing for me
Because of my breaths, you're not, you're not
And you know what?
He doesn't make love to you, he doesn't treat you right, and I was the first man in your life
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