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introspectivememories · 10 months

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at the center of gotham, lies its oldest public hospital — gotham general. it’s staff are kind and compassionate, if a little intolerant of bullshit. the city may not care about the crimes that occur in it but the people certainly do. gotham’s emergency services are renowned throughout the nation as one of the best.

the ER nurses at gotham general love to gossip and their latest is about how their ever-reliable EMT bernard dowd, who'll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he can save one more person, who smiles so brightly and brings them cupcakes on his days off but has such sad eyes, seems so lonely. they determinedly decide to find a date for him. maybe dr. zacharia thomas, their latest trauma surgeon? yes, yes! he's only a few years older, bernard knows him, they get along, and most importantly, he's got a stable job. he'll be perfect for their bernard!

and then, literally only days after they decide to set up dr. zacharia and bernard on a date, head trauma nurse marissa santos comes running in with a copy of gotham daily, clutched in her hand.

"look! look! nakita mo ba ang balita?" she whisper-yells, "did you see the news?!"

instantly they're all crowding around her, trying to see the paper. covering the front page is a blurry photo of a black-haired man engaged in a passionate game of tonsil-hockey with someone who is unmistakably their youngest EMT. he's still wearing his uniform for christ's sake! in the largest font known to man, "WAYNE'S NEW PARAMOUR?" is written at the top.

"he's dating the wayne ceo!" marissa gushes excitedly.

"isn't he a little too old for bernard?" someone pipes up from the back.

"not the father, you idiot! the son! timothy!"

that's way better than their candidate. everyone is stoked. by nightfall, everyone in the ER knows that bernard dowd is dating timothy drake-wayne, the youngest ceo wayne enterprises has ever had.

when bear stops by, at around 2 in the morning, dropping of the last patient from his shift, he's immediately accosted by the nurses.

"whoa! hey!" he exclaims as they lead him to the nurse's station and sit him down in a chair, "what's going on?"

marissa slams the paper down in front of him, "spill."

bernard groans and turns cherry red, "oh my god tita. don't you guys have patients to attend to?"

"already taken care of." nurse gu says.

"what about mr. gomez, the one with third degree burns that just came in?" bernard tries desperately.

"dr. zacharia is already on it." dr. esperanza responds, "so spill."

their youngest tries one last time, "how do you even know if that's me?"

"there are like 10 blonde people in the EMT department and considering all of them are older than you and none of them seem to have the three ear piercings that kid in this picture does, we're gonna have to assume it's you." dr. farah nasim, one half of the head of the ER, says.

bernard turns on her with a betrayed look.

"sorry kid," she snorts, "also, you're still wearing your uniform in the photo. it says 'dowd' on the shoulder."

"im too old to be bossed around like this." he mutters before sighing, "alright what'd'ya want to know?"

"tell us everything!" marissa says, "how did you two meet?"

"we were friends in high school and we fell out of touch after junior year. he hit me up on insta 6 months ago and we reconnected."

"oh my god!! they're high school sweethearts!" nurse gu squeals, "that's so cute!"

"tell us more! who asked who out?"

"okay well, technically he asked me out but he didn't know he was asking me out. but we went on this date at this restaurant and it got attacked by some villain and red robin, but he was going by robin at the time, rescued. so i told robin, 'hey if i make it out of this, tell tim drake, i would've liked to finish our date'. and then, tim, shows up at my door the next day and says 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i'd like to find out'. and the rest is history."

"bernard, what the hell?" dr. esperanza says shocked, "that's the most rom-com-esque story i've ever heard."

"what?" bernard blushes, "no it's not."

"bear," esperanza says slowly, "he showed up at your door and said 'i don't know what this feeling i get when i'm near you is, but i want to find out.' that is something straight out of the notebook."

"no, no! he's such a dork!" bernard assures them frantically, "he does this thing, when he laughs too hard, he snorts and it sets him off again and it just keeps going. and you should've seen him in high school, the biggest skater boy to ever exist. he's teaching me..."

and bernard goes on and on for the next 15 minutes, trailing off only when he notices them all smiling at him.

"what?" he says shyly.

"you're in love with him, aren't you?" dr. farah says.

bernard chokes, "what?! no! ...maybe?"

everyone shares a look between each other. marissa steps forward, "well on behalf of the gotham general ER staff, i can assure you, we all approve."

"thank you?"

"bring him around sometime!" nurse gu says, "we'd all like to meet him."

"why? so you can give him the shovel talk?"

"of course!" dr. farah says, smiling widely, "he’s dating our youngest! we have to threaten him!"

bernard's voice is suspiciously wet when says a few moments later, "thanks guys."

and so on it goes for the next few months until marissa comes back after her break, deathly pale. everyone worries but she refuses to tell anyone what's wrong. and then a few weeks later, nurse gu goes on his break and comes back shocked. and then a month later, dr. zacharia comes back from a quick step outside, lips sealed shut.

and on it goes until there is one glaring truth the gotham general ER night staff cannot ignore:

bernard dowd is dating red robin. open relationship or cheating, to be determined.

a year after the news about tim drake and bernard had been released, and half a year after the, what the staff has taken to calling it, Red Robin Scandal™ began, dr. farah calls a night staff meeting.

the staff meeting is boring as usual until the end when dr. farah opens the conversation to the staff to voice their concerns.

"are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?" dr. esperanza asks.

"i think bernard might be cheating on his boyfriend!" marissa blurts out before slapping her hands over her mouth, horrified.

“oh thank god.” esperanza sighs.

"wait you saw them too?" nurse gu asks.

"in the narrow walkway," dr. zacharia starts.

"between the ER and jacobson building." dr. esperanza finishes.

"exactly!" marissa says.

"i caught them in the parking lot once." dr. farah admits, mouth pressed into a grim line, "they were pressed up against the fence in the back — y'know where the light doesn't shine? — kissing each other like they'd just come back from world war 2."

"ay, how could that boy be so stupid?" marissa sighs, "getting caught up with a vigilante?"

"maybe it's like polyamory?" esperanza says, ever hopeful.

"whatever it is," farah says, "he should know better than to get involved with those people. we have to talk to him."

they pull bernard into an unused conference room, just the 5 of them, 3 weeks later.

"hey, hey!" bernard exclaims as they shove him into a chair, "what's going on?"

nobody speaks.

"guys?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?"

"what?"

"are you cheating on tim drake?" marissa repeats.

"no! why would you think that?"

"everyone on the night staff has caught you kissing red robin at least once. wanna try that again?" farah says.

bernard sighs, "is that what this is about? doc, i swear to god, i'm not cheating on tim."

"so he knows?" zacharia asks.

"yes zach, tim knows about me and red robin."

"and he's okay with it?"

"yes. tim doesn't mind me dating both of them." bernard says, a smile playing on his lips.

nobody speaks for a while.

"so..." bernard breaks the silence first, "are we good here? do you approve?"

"no." esperanza says, "we don't approve."

"what?"

"he's no good for you." nurse gu says.

"you don't even know him." bernard says incredulously.

"oh and you do?" zacharia says scathingly, "he's a vigilante bear. how much do you really know?"

"more than you zach!"

pleadingly bernard turns toward farah, "c'mon doc, you don't agree do you?"

"you know, when you first started dating tim drake, i had my reservations. rich people and all that. but i figured with all that money, if you ever got roped into rich people problems, tim's money would help out. you'd be taken care of and he clearly loves you, so i didn't mind too much."

"but this..." farah trails off, "i can't accept this."

turning towards marissa, "tita, please."

"don't do that, bear. wag kang tanga. it's not good to be with him."

"he loves me! is that not enough?" bernard near-yells, "i thought that's what you wanted. someone who loves me!"

"enough to quit being a vigilante?" esperanza asks.

"quit being a vigilante? are you guys hearing yourself?" bernard asks angrily, "he saves the city on a near-nightly basis and you want me to ask him to give it all up because what? he's dating me?"

"so let him save the city without you." nurse gu says, "why does he need to drag you into it?"

"he's not dragging me into anything! i am a full consenting adult! i chose him! what’s so different about what he and i do anyway?"

“well for one, our job is legal. and two, there are safety measures put in place so that you don’t get hurt. so that your coworkers don’t get hurt. your man walks into the joker’s lair with an inch of kevlar and a prayer on his lips.” zacharia says.

nurse gu sighs, "look. nobody here is mad at him for saving the city. everyone here knows somebody who has been saved by the bats. but the deal is that they save the city and they don't drag anybody else into it."

"the bats, whoever they are? they chose that life. for whatever reason, they chose that life and all the dangers that go with it. you’re not stupid bear, don’t get involved with whatever he has going on. pick literally anyone else.” farah says.

“you need a third person that badly? take zach! the ER was planning on setting you up with him before we found out about tim, anyway.”

“what?” zacharia says, rounding on nurse gu.

“you know what?” bernard says, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly, “ i don’t have to explain myself to you guys.”

“you can’t marry him.” marissa says.

“who said anything about marriage? i’m 22!”

“you clearly love tim. you two seem like you’re going to last a while and if you love red robin they way you love tim, them somewhere along those years of being together then you’re going to start thinking of marriage. what then? how are you going to explain red robin to the people you love?”

“we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

“look, bernard,” farah says gently, “we’re not doing this cause we don’t want you to be happy. you mean a lot to me, i think of you as my son. we just-”

“you’re not my mom.” bernard snaps out, “you’re not my mom, you’re not my aunt, my uncle, my brother. you guys aren’t anything to me!”

he turns and walks away.

“farah do something.” marissa hisses.

“let him go. he said he’s an adult right? then let him make his choices.”

“but,” she says, raising her voice so bernard can hear her, “if anything goes wrong, and i mean anything at all, i hope he knows that adults don’t have to do everything by themselves. that they can ask people for help.”

bernard’s hands still on the doorknob. “thank you.” he says voice rough, “nothing will happen, but thank you for the offer.” and he walks out the door.

bernard dowd, is 22 year old EMT that has too much heart and not enough brain. he’ll rush into burning buildings if he thinks he has even a minute chance of saving someone. he’s kind and he’s sweet and more importantly, he’s dating timothy drake-wayne, ceo of wayne enterprises.

if you ask the ER night staff at gotham general, after a lot of prodding, they might tell you that bernard dowd was one of the youngest EMTs to ever join the gotham county emergency medical services. they might tell you that bernard dowd has been wondering if he should become an AEMT or a paramedic. they might tell you that as the major receiver for all patients, bernard saw them all the time and imprinted on them like a baby duck. and if you’re really close they might, tell you the ER’s biggest secret: bernard dowd is dating both timothy drake-wayne and red robin. or they might just let you walk in on them making out behind the ER. whatever comes first really.

(if you get close enough to a certain group of people on the ER night staff, they’ll tell you that bernard dowd has two hands and he uses them to hold onto his boyfriends.

they’ll tell you that tim drake is a nice boy and they’re a little worried about their bernard fitting into the circles a wayne walks in, but he’s a nice boy who clearly loves bernard, so they’re not too worried.

they’ll tell you that that red robin character is no good for their bernard and has no business getting so close to their youngest. that red robin is going to get bernard into trouble one day, the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.

and if you get really close to them, they’ll tell you over lunch breaks and muttered whispers, that both boys are going to break their youngest’s heart. and that if they had to pick, red robin will do it first. that their bernard loves a little too deeply and that they're worried that it’ll break bernard.

but they’re not too worried, they say. because bernard has them and if that bastard red robin breaks his heart, then they’ll pick up the pieces, they’ll sew him back together if they have to. after all, bernard stitches up half of gotham every night, this is the least they could do.)

#oh my god #what the fuck is this?#literally wrote this in a fugue state #this is not proofread #this is my ugliest first draft #my dumbest version if you will #why is this 2k #anyway #nurse gu's legal name is nurse gu #esperanza is gorgeous. like drop dead gorgeous. the best damn anesthesiologist you've ever seen. the yin to zacharia's yang.#farah is the smartest woman you will ever know and can give ten backhanded compliments w/o the other person realizing #marissa santos is filipino. bc filipinos are the backbone of our nursing industry #also she will cut a bitch. gives bear a plate of lumpia every week. is the reason bear is passable in tagalog #zacharia is your everyday indian. he is my sweet boy #he would've formed a crush on bear if he thought about for more than two seconds but alas #he is married to the job #also they mean well and they do raise some serious point but bc tim is also red robin it kinda... falls flat?#tagging time #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #dc #what should this be called #concerned friends try to save man afflicted by love au

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skwzks · 11 months

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First Meeting

Hiroki Dan x Female Reader

word counts: 630 words

Indonesian version

You met Hiroki Dan when you went shopping for pottery. You usually go to the nearest shop, but since it was closed, you decided to go to the one in the middle of the city. There's where you meet him.

When your eyes laid on that one figure in the front of the clay shelf, you know he think hard about what kind to pick. The unknown man look very handsome, he also tall and has solid body, his black hair neatly combed, even his side profile looks perfect. Without you noticing, you stared at him more than you a minute.

"Can i help you?" He asked, makes you flinched slightly before turning your gaze the other way and back to him.

"Eh, no no. Sorry." You apologized nervously then walked towards him since he was standing in front of the clay shelf. He nodded once before looking back at the clay in front of him.

As with you, you did the same with the man beside you. You also think before choosing the right clay for you to take home.

"You look like an expert." He said. And again you flinched, making the man chuckle. "And also look like you're easily surprised." He muttered.

You laugh awkwardly. "Yeah, i got scared easily, a little bit. And no, im not an expert." You answered lowly.

"Still, you look like one." He said without looking at ylu. His eyes were focused on the clay shelf.

"Can i ask you a question?"

This is where he fully looked at you. And for the love of God, he looks like a model. You can stare at his face for 69 hours without getting bored.

You nodded slowly, waiting for the question he wanted to ask.

"You see, im still new with pottery. I did already make a couple things. The thing is, it didn't stay for long, it breaks apart. My question is, what is a good kind of clay?" You listen intently then stared at the clay shelf. "It depends on what you want to make."

"Oh, i wanna make a vase for my mushroom. You see, i just found this new mushroom, and I wanna rise it." You smiled a little at his explanation. He looks like a fun guy.

"I recommend earthenware clay. Its good for vases and stuff like that."

The man turned his face to the shelf, and his eyes quickly caught the earthenware clay. He took it, then looked at you and smiled.

"Thank you. I will be buying this." He said as be picked it up. "Your a nice lady. Im Hiroki Dan." He bends his body 30 degrees, making you quickly bend your body too. "Im (name). Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, (name). Now that i got the stuff that i need, im gonna get going." He took a step away from where you were standing.

"Hiroki… Dan." Your voice made him stop on his track. Hiroki turned to look at you and raised both of his eyebrows. "Hm?"

You blinked a few times before finally realized your mouth was calling the man's name. "Ah, im sorry for calling all of a sudden." You scratch the back of your head. "I just wanna say that… uh.. if you wanna know more about uhm.. pottery, you can ask.. me."

"So you are an expert."

"I'm not."

Hiroki laughed again then walked back towards you before taking out his phone. "Type your number here." You swiftly typed your number then handed the phone back to him.

"Well then, I'll see you around, (name)." He smiled.

"Hm. See you around." You smiled back.

That was 2 years ago. Now you got yourself a homicide investigator boyfriend and a new weirdly shaped pottery every 3 days.

2023 © all works belong to skwzks — do not repost or plagiarize my work on any platform

#brutal: satsujin kansatsukan no kokuhaku #hiroki dan #hiroki dan x reader

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bengiyo · 7 months

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Alright, new question, I know how much you enjoy your Sad Gay Boy Hours. What shows, besides Until We Meet Again, because I know how much you love it, satisfy your Sad Gay Boy needs?

The Boys Who Suffered

The big thing about The Knowing is The Suffering. There is a melancholy that seeps into you and makes you think you aren't enough. These characters are hard to watch. I know you asked about shows, but I'm doing some movies as well because I've been thinking about genre history lately. For this it's about whether or not the quiet sadness in me connected to the quiet sadness I perceived in a character in this show.

Moonlight (2016)

He is the saddest boy in my heart. This is the moment that breaks him forever.

For The Boys

Jamal, Syed, and Anthony have suffered for being who they are, and they are hurting. They cling to each other and it's often too hard.

youtube

Weekend (2011)

This man is so lonely even if people love him. I feel melancholy for days any time I watch this film.

Big Eden (2000)

I don't know who taught him shame, but there's this sense of surrender in Henry that has haunted me for fifteen years.

A Single Man (2009)

Colin Firth and Stanley Tucci play some of the saddest gay men who have ever existed. This entire project is about grief.

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

Inthawut is the saddest man in BL.

Given (2019)

The reveals about the depths of sadness in this boy are really some of the best I've experienced.

Eternal Yesterday (2022)

He was suffering even before Koichi died, and it saddens me so much that the world bent to let him say goodbye to help him grieve.

The Pornographer Series

I just knew there was something fundamentally off about Kijima and the rest of these men.

The Day I Loved You (2023)

I keep meaning to write something about this show, but there's something special about going into a relationship you know won't be forever because of external factors, and also choosing to make that time as special as possible.

Tokyo in April is...

Ren suffering for Kazuma gets me every time.

Like in the Movies (2020)

I'm never getting over Karl and Vlad. I'm sad we'll likely never see them again because in so many ways the specific pieces of melancholy in each of them are why they didn't walk away together.

To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories

These two were not left at HEA and they didn't end there this time, either. Both of these two are carrying some heavy shit in their hearts, and I find comfort in seeing them stumble and keep trying.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Shiro makes me so sad sometimes, and I'm so glad he found Kenji.

The Eclipse

Every boy in this show is a sad mess.

The Eighth Sense

I'm glad Jae Won found Ji Hyun, because that country twink won't give up on him.

Kabe-Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized

I recently rewatched this and feel so much about Mamoru and Issei.

Our Dating Sim

Lee Wan was wrong, but I get him.

We Best Love

"Yes, I'm in love with you, but that's none of your business."

Stuck On You

The Philippines crushed the pandemic. This is quietly one of the better ones about people who were already suffering.

Blueming

Hwang Da Seul's oeuvre always seems to hit my sad boy core.

Sing My Crush

Every time Han Baram says Im Hantae's name I lose it.

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kanonavi · 2 months

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hello tumblr user kanonavi who is 1/3rd of the reason i started rereading tgcf. i have come to collect my personal apology for the emotional damages inflicted upon me for the past 5 days. and i have also come with THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS (mostly feelings)

- icb i put off this reread so long hualian are so romance. theyre jsut Romance......... absolutely floored by every throwaway bit of dialogue they had....... in shambles forever....,

- sqx arc was not as painful as the first few times i read it bc i now stand with my cancelled wife (he xuan) I STILL LOVE SQX AND THEY DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD. BUT HX WAS REAL FOR ALL OF THAT. i love revenge

- i wanna know your thoughts on ling wen bc u mentioned having mixed feelings on her but i loved her so bad all the way to the end so im curious ljdkdjf

- i am not immune to backstory arc pt2. read it last last (?) night at like 3am and cried myself to sleep its just so gutting every timeeeeeee.... the hc plot that builds in that arc is ofc one of my favorites in the entire novel though :')

- the chapter w the cave of statues took me like 2+ hours to get through because i was feeling so insane abt it

i feel bad dropping this block of text in ur askbox sorry. will leave it there for now LOL

Omg hiiiii tumblr user stardust-make-a-wish welcome back from the yaoi cocaine pit :3 I know you're here to collect emotional damages, but I must make it known that I'm not even remotely sorry <3

Also you should feel bad for yourself instead of for me because I can only respond to huge blocks of text with even bigger blocks of text, so (TGCF Spoilers Ahead) and also I am so sorry lmaooooo

UGH you're so right that hualian is the most romance forever they are just so *clenches fists and sobs*....... They're always there for each other and they're so in love and they've been through so much and I just want them to be able to rest because it's what they deserve.

I will never once say that Hu Xuan wasn't justified in everything he did cuz like. Shi Wudu had it coming what a piece of shit. But at the same time Qingxuan is my wife and I will not tolerate my wife being harmed. So like revenge slay yes but also I am still cancelling He Xuan and spraying him with the water bottle (even though he is already very very damp).

Yesyesyes Ling Wen. So my thought about Ling Wen is that she kinda girlbossed a little too close to the sun, but at the same time you look at her circumstances both past and present and have to understand why she did all of that. It already would have been hard enough for her to gain any kind of recognition as a woman, much less in the Heavenly Court, so her ruthlessness is completely understandable. But at the same time, I don't really think the Brocade Immortal deserved what she did to him nor was taking Bai Wuxiang's side in the final conflict a real cool thing of her to do. I can't fully be a hater though because her own thoughts about everything are clearly so nuanced (See: The final convo she had with Xie Lian about the Brocade Immortal, which I am still thinking so incredibly hard about to this day).

I think that Ling Wen is interesting in the same way that I find other characters like Mu Qing, He Xuan, and Yin Yu interesting. It's in the sense that even if I don't really agree with all of the actions that they took, it's very easy to look at them and come to an understanding of why they did what they did. And I have varying degrees of like for all of the characters I just listed, but that doesn't change the fact that they're all Compelling. So it's almost like a begrudging respect that I feel for Ling Wen, if I were to boil it down into simple terms.

aaaaaaaaaa The Horrors(tm) :sob: Even though I could talk about Xie Lian's arc through that part of his backstory for a million years, you're so right that Hua Cheng's arc through it is also so interesting to watch. It really goes to prove that Hua Cheng is different from everyone else in Xie Lian's life up until this point, because yes there's the very obvious throughline of Hua Cheng wanting to protect Xie Lian (rather than expecting his protection), but even more importantly that feeling never changes even when Xie Lian has his mini corruption arc.

Like, Hua Cheng fell in love with the pure and virtuous Crown Prince of Xianle but not for that quality. Instead of being ashamed and looking at Xie Lian with scorn when he was like "What if I kill everyone actually" Hua Cheng is like "Then let me be your sword". There's the element of not wanting Xie Lian to dirty himself that Hua Cheng carries for the entire story but the point is in that he is not a voice who would tell Xie Lian to stop having those thoughts if it's truly what he wants (Unlike what his parents or Feng Xin and Mu Qing would probably say).

I'm going to write an essay about their character dynamic one day istg I am chewing through the drywall

The cave statues chapter......... *passes away*. Like on one hand that chapter is so funny because yes Hua Cheng is just an absolute certified freak (POV my roommate telling me earlier on in my reading that HC is a porn addict and me being like "pssht noooo" but then getting to this chapter several months later and being like "O h.") but on the other hand THE CONFESSION??????? Like. All I can do is gesture wildly at the storyboard animatic that someone made of that scene on YouTube while absolutely fucking sobbing. There is a reason why the cover of volume 6 felt somehow more intimate than the cover of volume 4 where they're literally making out.

Anyway I'm patting Hua Cheng on the head like It's okay buddy Xie Lian loves you because you're a certified freak, he's seen too much of this world to be weirded out even a little bit. Which is why those two are perfect for each other <3

I'm glad you had so much fun on your reread, have fun with the brainworms :3

#navi answers #stardust-make-a-wish #Once again I am so sorry for my ability to Talk lmao

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filmbyjy · 2 years

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MIXED UP

pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader

summary: baking has always been your passion and you were surprised when your teacher announced that he managed to save you an extra spot in the competition. however, that turned sour when you realise...you had to beat jay, the man who broke your heart.

warnings: decently angsty but happy ending. there is tons of sexual jokes in here because that's my type of humour (unfortunately). sunghoon being an asshole, shitty explaination of a damn baking competition. also it's been 3 years since the last time i was in home economics, okay. give me a break T_T i tried my best explaining it the best i could.

word count: 6.5K words

NOTE: SURPRISE!!! somehow I finished this in 3 days. im surprised. but yeah enjoy this. this is unfortunately mostly angsty…I wrote most of this at 12am in the morning so thats why👍🏻

“maybe if you didn’t make a mistake on adding a teeny tiny bit more sugar, you’d get a better result.” jay mocks while waving the 1st prize in your face. your hands were clenched, the whites of your knuckles showing. tears just brimming at your eyes.

“why are you such a fucking jerk?”

“me? a jerk? aww is little (name) going to cry?” jay pouts.

“you don’t even want to get a degree!”

“you’re right. I don’t. I just live to annoy you and get you mad. besides, i can just take up my dad’s position as a CEO at his company.” jay smirks. “everything is already planned for me.”

you lift your finger up to poke into his chest, backing him up against a wall.

“you’re such a bitch, you know?”

“ah, i live to be one.” jay smirks as he provokes you. you leaned close, tiptoeing to get to his height. the both of you not backing away.

wait wait, let us rewind to before this argument with jay exactly happened. 5 months ago, it was a saturday to be exact. both you and your twin brother, jake were hanging out in your bedroom just catching up since the both of you barely see each other (due to him being a science major and you being a culinary student). your phone pings and the both of you looked over at it.

you grabbed your phone and unlocked it.

“someone you’re chatting to on tinder?” jake asks. you rolled your eyes.

“no, it’s just my teacher.”

“ooo is it the one that has all the girls panties soaking?” you gave your brother a disgusted look.

“where did you hear about that from?”

“well, remember when i had to walk over to your department because i had to hand you something?” you nod, “well there were tons of girls talking about your teacher and how hot he looks in his ‘chef outfit’.” jake air quotes.

“he is 30, married and has a kid.” you said. jake raises his brow.

“so you like dilfs?” jake asks.

“sim jaeyun!”

“what? he texted you! like dmed you!” jake raises his arm feigning his innocence. you facepalmed.

“he texted me because he is offering me an extra spot in a baking competition!” you read the text out loud. you did a double take, jake’s jaw drops.

“i thought you didn’t make it-” jake gasps, “did you suck his dick to get the extra spot, (name). be honest.”

you breathed in, “you have 3 seconds before i end your life, jake.”

“well-”

“3.”

“look.”

“2.”

“(name).”

“1.”

“WAIT!” jake gets up and runs around your apartment trying to escape you. you ran after him whilst yelling out loud. there were a series of knocks at your front door so you stopped chasing after your brother. jake lets out a sigh of relief.

you pointed at him before gesturing ‘it’s not over’. you went to open your door and well, surprise surprise. it was the last person on earth you’d like to see.

“park.”

“sim.”

“the fuck do you want?”

“this is an apartment building, mind keeping your voice down? i can hear you screaming from across.”

“the hallway is small, obviously you’d be able to hear me.” you folded your arms, leaning at your front door. “you live literally opposite of me.”

“no shit sherlock. i can see that.” jay grumbles, “i’m trying to study so could you shut the fuck up?”

you were about to scowl at him but your brother had to pop his head out.

“ay, jongseong. you still up for playing LOL right?” jake asks. jay flashes your brother a smile.

“of course, just get a hold of heeseung hyung and sunghoon.”

“perfect.” jake’s eyes met with yours. you grabbed your slippers.

“get back inside.” you smacked him once with your slipper. jake winces and pouts.

“can’t believe you’d hurt your twin brother.”

“didn’t i tell you not to befriend this asshole?” you point to jay.

“you can’t tell me what to do. your not mom.” jake sticks out his tongue before getting back inside. you sighed.

“anything else, park?”

“ah right, did you get a text from mr.kang?”

“and why the fuck would i tell you?” jay rolls his eyes.

“so you did get it. great because he offered me a spot too.” your jaw drops.

“how could he offer you a spot? you suck at baking.” jay laughs out loud.

“me? horrible at baking? you’re clearly thinking of someone else. maybe you’re thinking about jake.”

“I heard that jay!” jake yells from the living room. you rolled your eyes.

“high school, bake sale. you and i were supposed to make cookies together to sell. you burnt the cookies and we didn’t earn enough money to raise a charity. everyone in our class blamed us, mainly me because you claimed i was the one who burnt it. everyone believed in your white lies, all because they liked you and you were mr.popular while i was just your dumb shadow, following you around like a lost soul.”

that’s right. although you and jay were rivals now, you were best friends before. jay was the popular kid along with your brother and the two other boys, lee heeseung and park sunghoon. every girl loved them. every one of them wanted to be their girlfriend but none of the boys really cared. they thought at that age that getting a girlfriend wasn’t worth their time. sure, they loved having eyes on them and gaining the attention. they only, however, lead girls on. truly only showing their true colours after a single date. in fact, all of them were still virgins.

you were sure. you’ve never seen them kiss a single girl or seen them sneak off to some random room with a hook up, maybe except for heeseung (you were sure that boy has kissed a girl once). i mean, you were jake’s twin. obviously, you knew your brother would never do so. he was saving everything for marriage. wow, such a christian boy.

this rivalry between you and jay started with you confessing your feelings for him. yup, you liked him and you told him about it. it didn’t end pretty and you still remember jay laughing at you. it was…bad. you never want to relive that moment ever again which is why you simply only flirt and never confess. you were afraid of another rejection.

you devoted to hate everything jay does because he hurt your feelings. at first, he kept apologising (it wasn’t sincere at all) but then eventually he just grew to annoy you. he mocks you whenever you get a lower score than him. he loved teasing you and getting on your nerves. one time, he got a higher score than you in home economics, he never stopped yapping and showing off for a whole month straight.

then when you graduated, you just had to find out he was joining culinary too but why? he ruined the bake sale and burnt those damn cookies. why was he joining something he was bad at? was it to mock you and annoy you to death?

“that’s the past, sweetcheeks. we are living in the present which means i got the extra spot.” jay says. you rolled your eyes.

“just stay the fuck away from me. i have to win this.”

“always competitive, huh.”

you scoffed, “it’s a competition and it would look great on my portfolio so you better step the fuck back. this competition is important to me.”

“and if i beat your ass and prove a point you suck?”

“then i’ll actually beat your ass.” you raised a fist up. jay laughs before grabbing your fist and pushing it down.

“you do realise i’ve been hitting the gym lately. there is no way you’d be able to beat me.”

“just leave.” you shoved jay out into the hallway and closed the door on him. jake tiptoes warily, careful not to make you mad. he wraps his arms around you and hugged you. jake’s hugs always simmered down your anger. ever since you and jay became enemies, jake had always comforted you.

“(name), you do realise you can ignore him right?” you snuzzled your head onto jake’s chest, happy to be in your brother’s arms since he gave the best hugs.

“trust me, i’ve tried hard but that asshole lives to annoy me.”

“i’ll try to talk to him about it.”

“it’s fine. this is between me and him, i don’t want to bring you or the other 2 in.”

“well, technically it also involves us. he is our friend and you are my sister so yeah, i’m caught up between the both of you.”

“you could choose one of us to defend.”

“the both of you are petty, if i choose either one of you, your both going to sulk. it’s really funny since the both of you used to be friends too-”

“we do not speak about the past.” you smacked jake’s back. jake lets go of the hug.

“look i have no idea how you and jay fell apart but i miss how our friend group didn’t have you two constantly at each other’s throats. it was way better back then.”

you never told jake what happened to you and jay. he did know you were rejected by your crush but he didn’t know your crush was jay. you guessed that’s how much jay didn’t care about you. he never talked about it to your brother when you thought he would.

“it will never go back to how it was back then. besides, you know one of the reasons why we fell apart.”

“the bake sale incident. yeah, i know but i seriously thought that was the only reason. what’s the other reason?”

“not telling you, jaeyun.”

jake whines, “come on. i’m your twin brother, your singular minute younger twin brother. do you not trust me?” he pouts.

“yes because you suck at keeping secrets. you’d blurt it out to the 2 other boys.”

“well.” jake huffs. you ruffled his hair.

“come on, let’s watch some reruns of your favourite show.” jake gasps.

“let’s go!” jake drags you to the couch.

the next day, you entered the class. the first thing you ever noticed was how jay was busy flirting with one of the girls in the class. he pushes a strand of hair behind her ears and the girl blushes. you rolled your eyes and placed your bag in your locker (you had your own lockers in the class as it was the kitchen).

“you know the kitchen is for cooking and learning. not for you to nearly jump on each other.” you say to gain both of their attentions. jay turns to you. he notices how you were wearing a hoodie.

“why aren’t you in your attire?” jay asks. you grabbed your uniform from your bag.

“I was going to change.” you noticed the girl was eyeing you up and down in disgust. “why? do you wanna follow me into the bathroom? ah, i get it...you must’ve missed my body. judging by how much you were whimpering last night. who knew you liked to be pegged.” you smirked.

the girl’s jaw drops and so did jay’s.

“anyways, if you’re not going to follow me. i’m going first, take care jongseong~” you left the kitchen with a smile over your lips. you were about to enter the bathroom when a hand reaches out for you and spins you around.

“you.”

“oh come on, park. i know you’re just flirting with her for fun. you were never one to date seriously. you were also never one to take confessions seriously.” you mumbled the last part. jay unfortunately heard it though.

“what? are you still butthurt over me rejecting you?”

“in your dreams, i’m completely over you.” he backs you up against the wall and leans close.

“really?” you stared directly into his eyes, glaring at him. you could not waver, jay knows you well enough.

“yes, now get the fuck away from me.” you pushed him and went into the bathroom to change. you shut the stall door and sat down on the closed toilet lid. you groaned into your hands.

“why did my heart race again. you’re over him already. he isn’t worth your time.” you sighed before putting on your attire. you entered the class and got ready for it.

it was as per usual. the teacher talking about the history and then demonstrating the steps. after the class ends, the teacher calls up you and jay.

“my two favourite students!” mr.kang smiles. “so i know the both of you are capable of doing your very best in the competition, so i wanna challenge both of you.”

“we’ll be up to any challenge you put out, mr.kang.” jay says. you nearly scoffed at the good boy persona he was putting out to suck up to the teacher.

“great. i’d like the both of you to create 2 dishes. 1 of your own and one that the other likes.”

“sir, i don’t really understand what you are saying.” you asked.

“well, at first i thought of getting you two to do a dish together but then i remembered that this competition is only solo. in the end, i decided that you two will be making each other’s favourite dessert! it means you two can bond and get to know each other.”

oh if only the teacher knew you two were friends before. you smiled.

“alright, sir. we will get to it!” you say. mr.kang clasps his hands.

“great! competition is in 5 months time. you will have more than enough time to practice whilst balancing school work. take care, alright?”

“sir, may i bake in school? my apartment unfortunately does not have an oven and i can’t travel to my parent’s home since it’s in australia.”

“of course, (name). however, ingredients is not provided. you can keep your ingredients in the fridge though so it wouldn’t be a hassle to bring them back and forth.”

“duly noted. I’ll bring my own ingredients.” you say. mr.kang smiles.

“good luck you two.” and so the teacher leaves. you were just left with jay in the kitchen.

“both of us were friends, you know my favourite dessert and i know yours so we won’t need to hang out.” you opened your locker and grabbed your bag.

the next month flies by quick, you probably had baked about 5 times in this whole month alone. that’s how important it was for you. you did work in a small cafe which sold sweet treats so you could practice baking too.

“here you go, heeseung.” you hand heeseung a plate of cake that you had made after finishing class. heeseung smiled and thanked you. just as he was about to take a bite, jay shoves his cake in front of him.

“here, try this one instead!” jay says. heeseung looks at the both of you and then to jake and sunghoon.

“hey, umm mind trying these cakes with me? if eat it alone, i might get threatened by these two.”

“enjoy dude, i’ve already been harassed by (name) and jay last week. it’s your turn.” sunghoon yells.

“yeah, i think i need to hit the gym again. i’ve had too many cake for this past month.” jake huffs. you gasped.

“ah, then this is perfect time to announce that i made pie too.” you placed the slice on the table. sunghoon and jake ran over to grab it but heeseung claims it as his by taking a bite out of it.

“please tell me you have more.” jake pleads. you giggled.

“yeah, it’s in the fridge.”

“YES!!” jake runs over to your fridge. you turned to jay and smiled.

“never thought about switching things up huh, park?” jay scoffs.

“you’re just buttering up to them so they can keep trying out your baked goods.”

“exactly, moreover, they love my pies. i recall you loving it too.” you grabbed a small bite sized with a fork and made airplane noises. “does jongseong, want it?”

jay rolls his eyes, “i’ll take my revenge and no, i don’t want your pie.”

“suit yourself~” you were ready to eat it when jay goes for it. he chews and swallows it.

“it’s not crumbly enough, maybe you should’ve rubbed the fat in more.” jay smirks before he goes over to the bathroom.

2nd month, you were about 3 months away from the actual competition. you were once again back in the kitchen at 6pm creating the next idea you had in mind for the baking competition. just as you stepped into the kitchen, you noticed jay and the same girl from that day. she was on the counter and jay stood in between her legs. they were making out. your heart drops. you suddenly felt like crying. why? aren’t you over him? he can do whatever he wants.

you accidentally dropped your bag and they pulled away to inspect what the sound was. jay’s eyes met with yours. it had been so long since he had seen the look of disappointment and hurt in your eyes. the last time being when he laughed in your face after you confessed in high school. you composed yourself and grabbed your bag from the ground before trudging to your locker. a tear slips by accident and you wiped it quickly.

“wow, you’re not a kissing virgin. thought you were, makes me think my brother and the 2 other two aren’t too.” you tried to hide your wavering voice. “by the way, the kitchen is a place for cooking. not for a hook up. please leave if you are going to continue, you have your own apartment for a reason.” with that you left. you went to change into your outfit.

the moment the bathroom stall door was shut, you couldn’t help but bawl your eyes out. you were confused and frustrated with how you were feeling. you told yourself multiple times that you were over jay. you sucked it up and change into your chef attire before washing up your face. you entered the kitchen again, it was empty so jay did actually leave.

you shook your head. you had to concentrate on baking, not on jay. that was your priority.

you went over to preheat the oven, you start measuring up all the dry ingredients before grabbing the butter and cold water from the fridge. you quietly sifted the flour into the bowl and dumped the butter inside, carefully you rubbed the butter and flour together, making it look like breadcrumbs. you placed the bowl into the mixer and poured cold water little by little as the mixer slowly created the dough.

your mind went places. you imagined you and jay working on desserts together. him guiding your hand and helping you. his laughter echoing beside you. he kisses the side of your head. however, that was not reality and you shouldn’t even be dreaming about him like that. you sighed. you grabbed the dough and wrapped in cling wrap, it had to rest in the fridge for a while.

you scrolled through your phone while waiting. you noticed a text from sunghoon and his caller id flashes on the screen, you picked it up.

“what’s up, hoon?” you answered.

“where are you?”

“still in the kitchen.”

“i hear moaning sounds from jay’s house, i almost went inside until jake pointed it out. can we crash at your place?”

“why are you guys always over at my house?”

“because jay lives in front and he is our friend too. we usually go over because jake misses his twin sister dearly.” you giggled.

“yeah, i know he does. I’ll text you my code.”

“alright.” you could tell sunghoon was hesitating to say something.

“do you have something else to say, hoon.”

“do you want me to come over to accompany you?” sunghoon asks.

“then what about jake?”

“heeseung hyung is here too. i can just tell them i’m gonna be your dessert taster.”

“then wouldn’t they wanna come too?”

“jake and heeseung can’t handle any more desserts. It’s too much for them.”

“alright, then come over. you know where the kitchen is right?”

“I followed jake there once but could you guide me through call?”

“of course. in that case, i’ll text jake my code instead. you can make your way over now and i’ll remain on call with you.”

“perfect.”

you could hear chattering on the other side. you sent jake a text message with your code. you guided sunghoon over to where you were.

“woah, this place is cool.”

“yeah, it’s only for culinary students but since classes are over and i have permission to use this place. i can bring you here.” you remembered jay had been bringing the girl over here, you assumed they’ve been hooking up for a decent amount of time.

“look, i came here to talk to you about jay.”

“oh god, what is it-”

“i know you used to like jay and you confessed to him.”

“what? what else do you know?”

“well, when you confessed to him he laughed right in your face and you cried the whole way home.”

“park sunghoon, did you stalk me?”

“nono, i didn’t. I happened to have noticed it while on the way home and well you know we walk the same route to get home since i’m your neighbour after all.”

“this is embarrassing. do the other 2 know?”

“not at all. just me.”

“well, keep it secret then. it’s the past, jay and i will never become as close as before.” you sighed and grabbed the dough. you floured the wooden board and the rolling pin. you unwrapped the dough and rolled it out on the board.

“i also know that you saw jay and that girl making out.”

you stopped rolling the dough out before shaking your head and cutting out the dough to fit the aluminium foil tart. you pressed it on and stabbed the bottom with a fork.

“you have hawk eyes, hoon.” you weakly laughed while cutting out more dough. “you always seem to catch me at the wrong times. the fact that all of them included jay. you know, i even told him that i didn’t know he did all of these things and it makes me think you guys do this too-” you turned to face sunghoon but realise he was inches away from you.

you stepped back, “sorry.”

sunghoon hugs you. it was rare he ever did this, which was why you found it weird. you broke the hug.

“hoon, why are you doing this?”

“(name)...” you tilt your head. “I-”

you could hear a crash behind sunghoon. you noticed it was jay. you rolled your eyes.

“had fun? you must’ve been so stressed with preparation for the baking competition that you got your dick wet.” you continued pressing down the dough onto the mould. jay rolls his eyes.

“jealous? at least i’m getting something. you’re stuck being a virgin for the rest of your life. you’ve never even kissed anyone, pathetic.” you stopped what you were doing and decided that you had enough of jay but sunghoon holds you back.

“don’t (name).” sunghoon says. you just listened to him. after that, you and jay never dared to talk to each other. sunghoon could sense the suffocating tension between the both of you, he only sighs.

3rd month, you were happily giggling whilst typing on your phone. recently, sunghoon had been sending you a bunch of funny and adorable photos of himself. he says it’s to cheer you up so you could enjoy your day. you were yet again about to enter the kitchen when sunghoon pops up in front of you whilst holding something.

“present for the birthday girl~”

“hoon, it’s not my birthday!”

“check your calendar again, dummy.” you looked at the date and realised, he was right. “happy birthday, prettiest girl.” sunghoon pecks your forehead.

“hoon!” you smacked his arm, “we are supposed to keep this a secret. we wouldn’t want anyone to snap a picture of us and post us onto the school’s hot new couple page for jake to see.”

“you’re right…but i kinda don’t mind.” he starts to leave pecks all over your face.

both you and sunghoon somehow became a couple 2 weeks after the incident that happened with jay a month ago. sunghoon obviously knew you liked jay still, he could tell from the lingering gazes you gave jay when jay wasn’t looking. sunghoon wasn’t hurt by this since he knew this in the long run when falling for you. however, since jay was being an ass to you right now. he thought why not have some fun for a while with you before jay comes to realise that he liked you.

“ehem.” you hear someone clear their throat. you knew who it was. you turned around and faced the boy.

“oh sorry, am i in your way? i’ll move your majesty.”

“are you and sunghoon a couple? shall i tell your dear brother?” jay smirks.

“go ahead. i’ve been meaning to tell everyone. I think everyone deserves to know i’m dating the park sunghoon.” jay clenches his fist.

“well unfortunately, there are no outsiders allowed in here.”

“oh really, just yesterday you brought your ‘girlfriend’ here. i don’t see what’s wrong with bringing my boyfriend here.”

“too bad, the rules just applied today. besides, you’re going to get distracted, sim.”

“really? but this distraction is great. he gets to kiss me and help me out.”

“well, pda isn’t allowed here.”

“oh wow, you’re so fucking annoying-” sunghoon pulls you into a kiss. you wrapped your arm around his neck. he peaks to look at jay and notices how jay’s jaw was clenched. his knuckles turning white. jay’s eyes met with sunghoon’s. sunghoon takes the opportunity to slide his hand down to your waist and squeezing it. he closes his eyes to really feel and deepen the kiss.

you pulled back, “hoon.” sunghoon looks down to notice your adorable rosy cheeks.

“let’s go, it’s your birthday. we should enjoy it.” sunghoon holds your hand. he ignores jay’s glare. you nod. “we could even make use of your present tomorrow when i help you out with your baking.” sunghoon says.

“don’t you have an extra-curriculum?”

“yeah but you can swing by my apartment and we could bake there..”

“great idea!!” sunghoon smiles.

“then let’s spend your birthday together.” you happily nodded and dragged sunghoon out of the kitchen. jay watches you and sunghoon leave.

he can’t help but feel jealousy, especially since he likes you but he knew you wouldn’t be so careless and accept him. not when he has hurt you. jay slams his fist onto the counter. he ignored the stinging pain and how his knuckles were going to be bruised. how did jay deduce he liked you? well, that day when you caught him and that girl making out. he felt the need to go over and comfort you, like it was wrong to see you so heartbroken.

it had been like that since the day you confessed to him, guilt always creeped around whenever he thought about that day. he regrets laughing in your face. if he hadn’t done so, he would’ve been dating you right now and it wouldn’t have turned out into a ‘enemies to lovers’ arc. it would’ve been ‘friends to lovers’. well, unfortunately, he has let you slip out of his hands once again and he hates himself for it.

4th month, as competitions was just a month away. you were stressing to do well and with that happening. you interacted less and less with sunghoon. you felt bad, how could you ghost your own boyfriend? as such, you made sunghoon a dessert to apologise but you were met with a random girl in his apartment. she was just wearing a robe, a bathroom robe.

“who are you and what do you want with my sunghoon?” you felt your heart drop.

“your sunghoon?” you scoffed. “really? In that case, enjoy this treat with your boyfriend. just let him know his ex-girlfriend just dropped by.” you smiled at the girl and left.

you dropped a text to sunghoon, “let’s break up. thought we could last but i guess you were just using me. thanks for the memories and don’t ever come by my house ever again.” you blocked his number shortly after.

after that shock, jake was flabbergasted to find out you and sunghoon dated. moreover, he cheated on you. he was mad at the boy and so he never contacted him for at least 2 weeks before he folded and hanged out with him. you were doing so well since the break up. two of the worst things happened to you, you got rejected and you got cheated on.

jake knocks on your bedroom door.

“hey (name).” he pauses, “i know this whole thing is taking a toll on you. it really sucks that sunghoon cheated on you. you know i’d never accept cheaters as friends-”

“enjoy your time with him.” you yelled.

“(name).”

“leave, jake.” jake winces at the tone you used. he could hear you once again crying. jake turns to heeseung.

“i should probably punch sunghoon’s guts for hurting my sister, huh.”

“yes.” heeseung sighs, “two of the closest people to (name) and they both fucked up bad. idiots.”

“you wouldn’t dare hurt my sister would you?” jake looks at heeseung.

“if i hurt your sister, please unfriend me.” heeseung says.

“bro…” jake hugs heeseung.

5th month, you finally finished with your last dessert that you decided to do at the baking competition. you placed the final touches and smiled.

“(name).” it was sunghoon. you sighed and turned to him.

“what are you doing here? thought you were busy with your new girlfriend. she’s really pretty by the way. ah, she must’ve also been really experienced in sex. makes sense why you cheated on me since i have no experience.”

“(name), listen to me.”

“why should i listen to you when i trusted you and you betrayed it, hmm?”

“i’m sorry i broke your trust.”

“look, i was happy for the time we dated. i actually forgot that my feelings for jay might’ve came back. i let you kiss me, make out with me and for what? for you to fuck up the friendship we had?”

“I really thought i had someone who cared for me. clearly, i don’t. you used me. just get out.” you say.

“i’m sorry.”

“leave please.” your voice was already cracking, tears forming. sunghoon leaves and you kneeled onto the ground whilst crying. you tried forgetting about the time you spent with sunghoon but it felt exactly like back then. when you first confessed to jay.

you felt arms wrap around you and you knew that familiar scent. it was jay. you wanted to push him away but you didn’t have the energy to right him off you so you just cried in his arms. jay never said anything, he just rubbed your shoulder and occasionally left pecks on the side of your head. it was funny, your first love comforting you after your first ever boyfriend cheated on you.

D-DAY, finally it was the day of the competition. jay has never talked about what happened in the kitchen. which you were thankful for because it was one of your weakest moments and you just simply didn’t want to talk about it.

“you may begin baking, chefs, you have 2 hours of baking time for 2 dishes. good luck.” the host says. you took a deep breath and started searching for the ingredients you needed.

after you were done, you went to your work station and washed your hands. you preheated the oven and started measuring out the amount you needed. it was a rough battle, everyone was extremely tensed since they wanted to do well. there was enough time to cool the dough down so that’s what you did before starting up on the next dessert.

it was jay’s favourite. a memory comes flooding back.

“here, try this.” you gave jay a spoonful. he hums.

“it’s really good. what is it?”

“just something that i wanted to try.”

“it’s almost as great as the ones in bakery shops.” jay says.

“are you saying my desserts are worst than bakery shops?”

“well..” you smacked him. “i’m kidding!”

“you better be.”

“i can definitely say…this will be my favourite dessert from now on.”

“and why?” you asked curiously.

“because you made them.”

you shook your head. you had to concentrate on making the dessert.

2 hours pass by in a breeze. everyone was extremely worried as they placed their desserts onto the table in front of the judges. they gave time to everyone to walk around while the judges taste tested their desserts. you walked outside and went to the fountain. you felt a presence next to you but you could tell who it was.

“was it hard?” jay asks.

“hmm? what’s hard?”

“knowing that sunghoon cheated on you.”

“what do you think?”

“i knew sunghoon had been cheating on you.” you turned to face jay, “i confronted him about it. he mentioned about how ‘i need to realise something.’ and that he is doing this for me.”

“what do you mean?”

“I have no idea what he means too but if it makes you feel better, i punched him.” your heart leaps. he punched sunghoon for you. you snort.

“why? felt obliged to do so? you didn’t need to, you know. it’s mine and sunghoon’s business.”

“I didn’t feel obliged to do so. sunghoon is an asshole, he cheated on someone. i wouldn’t accept any of the guys if they cheated on a girl.”

“what about you then?”

“i’ve never cheated on anyone and i don’t plan to.”

“then why do you fuck around and hurt a girl’s heart.”

“it’s different.”

“really? because i feel like it’s the same thing. especially when there is a girl out there who likes you and they know you are fucking some other girl.”

“(name) do you-”

“hey hey, sunshine.” your brother hugs you. you spot sunghoon and heeseung. jake pulls away from the hug to pat jay’s back. “ah wait, i forgot to add something.” he places a paper bag over sunghoon’s head.

“There.” jake smiles. sunghoon groans.

“is it really necessary to do this?”

“yes, because you are the fuckwit who hurt my twin sister. she still doesn’t want to see and talk to your cheating ass.”

“okay, fine!” sunghoon folds his arms. “but i tried apologising.”

“she didn’t accept your apology so it doesn’t count!” jake says.

you rolled your eyes, “just take the paper bag off.”

sunghoon sighs in relief, he takes the bag off his head and swooshes his hair back since it was messy.

“what are you guys doing here?” you asked.

“to support you and jay of course.” jake smiles. you nod.

“such a supportive little brother.” you cooed teasingly whilst ruffled his hair.

“by 1 minute (name). one.” jake huffs. you giggled. you heard the host calling out for everyone.

“oh they are announcing winners. let’s go.” heeseung says.

“we are here to announce the winner of the baking competition!”

“it was a really tough decision for the judges as there were two people who were neck and neck.”

jake nudges you, “bet it’s you and jay.”

“won’t be surprised. we are always the top in our class anyways. all that matters is that it’s either me or him who got 1st place.”

“it doesn’t really matter.”

“it does to me, it would look good on my graduate certificate, don’t you think?”

“second place, would like nice on you too. since you got it.” jay smirks. you turned to the screen and realised your name was just below jay. he was first place.

they made you go up on stage to accept the award and certificate. you put on a smile which instantly faded the moment you got off stage. jay was laughing with your brother and the 2 other boys. you shoved the items to jake and pulled jay away from them.

you brought him over to the kitchen, the same place the both of you spent on practicing for the competition.

“what the fuck did you do to the results? did you cheat your way through?” jay scoffs.

“is that how you see me as? come on, sim. just cause i did better than you.”

“better than me? it should be me who is better than you.”

“why are you such a fucking jerk?”

“me? a jerk? aww is little (name) going to cry?” jay pouts.

“you don’t even want to get a degree!”

you lift your finger up to poke into his chest, backing him up against a wall.

“you’re such a bitch, you know?”

“ah, i live to be one.” jay smirks as he provokes you. you leaned close, tiptoeing to get to his height. the both of you not backing away.

“i fucking hate you.” you told him. it was hard to admit it, not when he was your first love. jay rolls his eyes.

“say that again. i dare you.”

“i fucking h-” jay pushes his lips on yours. your eyes widened. this wasn’t supposed to happen. you wanted to push him away but your body didn’t let you.

‘fuck it, it happened already.’ was what you thought. you closed your eyes and kissed jay back. he smiles through the kiss and pulls you closer, his hand reaching up to hold your cheek.

you pulled back after another 1 minute or so. you needed some air since jay was literally knocking the air out of you. you looked away from jay and tilts your chin up with his finger.

“look at me, baby.” you melt at his words. “why are you so shy now, what happened to the (name) that always bites back?” you blushed. he chuckles and pecks your nose.

“i like you.” jay admits. your heart swells.

“i like you too.” you shyly say. jay wraps his arms around you.

“i find it weird you’re not biting back and scowling but i missed this (name) a lot. my (name).” you snuggled in jay’s arms.

“then would you rather i start scowling and getting mad at you for kissing me?” you tried pulling away. jay holds you tighter.

“no, don’t leave.” he pecks your forehead. you laughed.

“by the way, sunghoon purposely cheated on you because he knew i liked you.” jay admits. you pulled away from the hug.

“WHAT?”

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trans-luis-serra · 21 days

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@void-detective OKIE DOKIE ILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION HERE (hey hi hello it’s lil ol me @wisecrackingeric-2 ) CUZ THATS WHAT THIS BLOGS FOR AGABGSWBDHJSX I HOPE YOU DONT MIND!!!!!

Okay so the thing is. Compared to Leon or even compared to his time spent with Los Illuminados we don’t,,,, k n o w a whole lot about that portion of Luis’ life

Like OK if you’re speaking in logistics/canon compliancy then no alas it wouldn’t work at all JANSHSNDJXNX Laboratory Six (the Lab Luis worked in that made Nemesis) was set in Paris, France, and by the time the Raccoon City Outbreak had started, Luis had already fled Umbrella and presumably ended up in Valdelobos (sure there’s a CHANCE he might’ve floated around Europe for a while but?? He describes his time spent working on the Plagas as having been ‘years’ so I’m assuming he went straight to Valdelobos)

The timeline gets kinda wonky with Luis- he would’ve roughly been 22 when he fled umbrella, and it would’ve been anywhere between a couple months to a year before the RC Outbreak, and which meant he spent five or six years trapped by Los Illuminados give or take???? Which makes how he got a degree, went to college, got a job at Umbrella and spent enough time there to become one of their head scientists really funny to imagine when you remember he was only 21/22 when he fled HDBSHDNSJS like damn that man is a CHILD PRODIGY!!!! ((It also makes it DEVASTATING to imagine how he found out about Raccoon City one way or another but HEY I SAID NOTHING))

But if you’re talking in an AU or personality wise???? That’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY IM CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR

Honestly I don’t think it’d be TOOOO different to their actual dynamic, just that they were both a lot younger and had a lot more maturing to do!!!! Again we don’t really know what kind of a person Luis was when he was younger other than that he was SUPER ambitious (which makes sense), probably a little more floaty/cocky (I don’t think he was lying about being a ladies man HXNSSJHD) overly curious and just generally really well-liked by his peers!! Like he considered them his family so I imagine he was probably just a more roughhouse version of the Luis we know him as now. We also don’t know how much of the Nemesis project Luis was aware of- given his upbringing I HIGHLY doubt Luis would go into umbrella knowing full well the scope of what they’re doing but I think it’s unrealistic to say he had malicious intent the entire time!!!

But adding onto that I think his guilt would be a LOT more apparent and repressed at the same time. Like when we see him in RE4R he’s already at a point where he’ll throw himself into the fire to fix his mistakes so can you IMAGINE what it must’ve been like when he was FRESH out of said mistakes????? Would he have tried to pretend they never happened??? Would it manifest as being destructive??? Who knows!!!!!! But I know for a fact Leon’s presence would DEFINITELY throw him for a loop HDBEHENDJD

Leon in RE2 is just PAINFULLY good at heart. Like we all know this you don’t need me to repeat it HXBSHSNS all he wants from the very start is to help anyone and everyone he can, and I think that would extend to Luis too. He’s obviously a lot more trusting too (like blah bla everyone get your jokes abt him believing that Ada was an FBI agent out of the way) so I don’t think he’d have AS strong of a grudge against Luis as he does in the remake. Sure I think he’d be WARY of him but if Luis was as honest and open as he is in re4r (even with a little prodding) which I think he definitely would be, ESPECIALLY cuz of, Y’know, waves hands, the debilitating guilt BXNSHNSJS Leon wouldn’t have a hard time trusting him in the end

What ID be SUPER INTERESTED IN is what would happen AFTER RC!!!! Would Leon try to protect Luis from the law???? Would Luis follow in Leon’s footsteps and be a government agent???? Would they both run away to Valdelobos and BOTH get stuck?????????

TLDR FOR THIS ACCIDENTALLY REALLY LONG POST AHWNWHWNDUDJSK I don’t think it’d be much different!!!!!!! They’d just have more maturing to do, which I think is weirdly beautiful!!!!!! Leon is still rather naive and optimistic and overly trusting and Luis is still wild and ambitious and overly curious about the world around him!!!!!! They’re good people at heart and I think their lives would’ve been a whole lot different if they’d just met at a different time and a different place

#ask #asks #luisposting #serennedy #serrenedy #serrennedy #luis serra #leon s kennedy #luis sera #luis serra navarro #luis sera navarro #leon kennedy

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solar-sunnyside-up · 8 months

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hey, something i've been struggling with recently is i've been struggling with "finding my people" because i'm a minority in my hometown, and a lot of people... aren't. they don't understand me, and often when i try to get them to understand they seem like they fall back into the old systems they were traumatized with (elitism, classism ect.,). 1/2 -solidarity anon

Im gunna say this at the top, this is so rough and im so sorry you gotta go through this sweetie. We are so isolated and filtered into categories within our current system in order to keep that isolation and to fight solidarity and unity. Now I cannot know for 100% sure what your going through or the extend your suffering. But will say I am from and currently still live in a oil loving, god fearing, anti-LGBT, and very racist city while i was raised wiccan by a poly core family and all my gay aunts/uncles and have been dreaming of an earthship my whole life plus every summer id be stuck in an even more harsh farming community that was so small they gotntheir first street light when i was 9 and the chruch is also town hall (mayor works in a wing off of the building). So there is at least some overlap in the experiences your having.

But that being said, how I got weirdly connected to people and involved in so many projects and stuff might not work for you.

Personally? I just yelled and yelled about the injustice of the system at work, about cool forestry projects and people buying ghost towns to start up Co-loving villages. Sharing discworld and different philosophers with coworkers backed up by their fave hobby. About how terrible the conservative politics are. About how cool transit could be if we funded it. About community art projects and how cool solar glass would make things look. About drags shows and events and did you know there is A SOUP FESTIVAL? I'm autistic and have only really interacted my whole childhood with friends with ADHD so my brain is weird and won't shut up once it starts going.

As a result of my ramblings, I have gotten a lot of responses mostly ones that are positive since if they didn't agree with my absurdist philosophy ramblings or solar project ideas they'd just leave the coffee shop. If they enjoyed it, say they want to join a community garden/event or if someone was as stoked as I was about again UNLIMITED TASTINGS SOUP FESTIVAL than we'd chat about that. The thing is a lot of these things have overlap. Someone who wants to convert their lawn into a pollinators habitate prob also likes little libraries and as a result prob also likes the idea of dark sky street lights. And down the rabbit hole you go.

That being said... my best actual advice is 2 pronged.

RESEARCH and REACH OUT

I personally have done years worth of research on my city. What local events and politics are happening? Even in rural places there is at least garderns, there's engineers, there's usually a LGBT focused club. And from these spaces, you can build a network. Doing research I found out about 5 different organizations in my city (most of which was founded 40 yrs ago??) That where sustainability focused. Doing research made me realize how cool community associations could be and how I could help mine out. It also gives you all those ideas for convos.

Second, I reached out to those groups about weird ideas I had, about if I could hang up posters for them in my local area, if I could buy groups worth of tickets in advance, and than also reaching out to the ppl I already talked to and had these ppl interact. My fave example of this is T. T is an engineer who built a fully functioning solar car during his degree program but specializes in hydroponics (how we ended up talking was over plants) he than gets shown my fave farm near by and now he's building the farms hydro system and Seedling house. Writing in to newsletter ppl and showing off weird layout design. This is ultimately very anxiety indusing. What if I'm bothering them? Why should I be spamming them like this? But the secret here is-

No one will ever be mad about you showing interest in their interest once you find those ppl. They want the interaction just as much as you do.

#sprout guide #solarpunk #community #hopepunk #connecting is so hard and swallowing differences that might seem hostile is so hard #asks #if you need more direct answers id need a more accurate idea how small/area if the place you live in sadly #so this is v broad #but feel free to DM me bout it with more details if you want

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blueskittlesart · 1 year

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hi! im really curious about your thoughts on oot, i'm trying really hard to like it and i wanna see what you enjoy about it

Hi!!! I'm going to do my best to explain exactly why I like oot but there is a TON of ground to cover. i have already written a bit about the story and my thoughts on it in this document, but this is a much more in-depth analysis of the symbolism and implied narrative which i think may be more helpful to you if you're struggling to get into the story and gameplay!

oot is my favorite zelda game of all time and was what made me fall in love with the series, but I will concede that it shows its age, especially with the insane advancements that video games have made over the past 2 decades or so since its release. Try to remember when playing it that it came out in 1998, when a game with any sort of 3d graphics at all was still new and exciting. some of its gameplay is going to be a bit dated, unfortunately, and it's totally reasonable to dislike that aspect of it i think! If you really find yourself struggling with gameplay, i recommend zeldadungeon.net for dungeon walkthroughs. they have very concise and easy-to-follow walkthroughs for the entire game which make the gameplay MUCH smoother for first-time players! there's no shame in needing walkthrough help in these dungeons, ESPECIALLY some of the later ones which get notoriously convoluted and difficult. that being said, even if you use walkthroughs, I'd encourage you to still pay attention to the dungeon's designs and details as a lot of thought was put into these designs and I think they're still some of the strongest in the series! gameplay-wise I'd also say that there are a lot of little collectibles that will seem like they're way more important than they are to new players. you don't need the skulltulas (they get you a bigger wallet), you don't need to complete any trading sequences, you don't even REALLY need to go out of your way to collect any of the extra heart pieces, the game is perfectly beatable with just the hearts you'll get from dungeons. Knowing all these things going in will really streamline your gaming experience and make things easier for you if you're getting put off by the 90s-style game design.

As for what i really love about the series, it's the story. And i understand that if you're not someone who makes a habit of analyzing media to an obsessive degree, at first glance oot doesn't seem to have a lot of story. A simple fact of old game design is that more dialog and cutscenes meant more storage space was needed, and the biggest constraint in game design at the time was the limited amount of storage a disc or cartridge could hold. What this means is that storytelling in older games like oot takes a very different form than the cutscene and dialog-heavy storytelling that games tend to use nowadays. the storage restrictions on the game meant that a lot of oot's story had to be told implicitly, via details and worldbuilding and actions carried out by the player. I know this can make it difficult to grasp at first glance! that's why i love to analyze it and talk about it, because I want people to understand how rich and well-told oot's narrative actually is and i know that most people aren't as willing to put in the work as i am, lol. with that being said, this is where the spoilers are gonna start! i'm gonna recap and analyze most of oot's story here, so if you're not looking for spoilers scroll away now and experience the game for yourself!!

oot is at its roots a story about adults failing children. i will elaborate on this point a bit more later, but for now let's look at our opening segment. We are introduced to our link, the youngest link in the franchise, at nine years old. From the get-go, we as the player are told that link's hylian parents died in a conflict very shortly after he was born, leaving him in kokiri forest to be raised by the deku tree, among the kokiri.

The kokiri are a race of eternal children. what this means, essentially, is that we begin the story with a link wearing rose-tinted glasses. the kokiri live forever without aging or dying, and they never leave the forest. Link has grown up isolated and without any concept of aging or death. he has been told by the deku tree, his father-figure, that he IS a kokiri and therefore will never age or die. Despite this, link does have a crucial difference from the rest of the kokiri that even he is aware of--he has no fairy. If you talk to the kokiri in the initial kokiri forest segment of the game, many of them will talk down to you or make remarks about you finally getting a fairy, reminding the player that link knows SOMETHING is wrong with him, that he's different from the other kids somehow, but he's not yet been able to pinpoint what.

we come to our first dungeon segment, where the deku tree summons link and tells him that he's dying and that link must defeat a monster to save him. when the player completes this objective, the deku tree dies anyway, revealing that he knew all along he couldn't be saved and lied to link about it in order to get him to do the dungeon. with his dying breath, he tells link to leave the forest and find princess zelda. (worth noting that up until this point, link has been told that leaving the forest will KILL HIM.) this is the first major failure of an adult we see, and as the inciting incident of the game it sets the tone very nicely for the rest of the shitshow. The deku tree lies to link his entire life about who he is, and then spends his dying moments lying to link AGAIN, specifically in service of a greater plan to turn link into the savior of hyrule by sending him to help princess zelda. this point is crucial--the deku tree has clear-cut, understandable reasons behind acting the way he does. It would have been much easier on link to allow him to grow up isolated among the kokiri, and it removes a lot of the potential danger he would have faced as an orphan in hyrule in the aftermath of the war which killed his parents. (we will later see that hyrule is in no way a safe place for a child on their own.) Explaining all the magical-destiny lore to a nine year old had the potential to scare him away from the task ahead, as did admitting to him that there was no way to save the deku tree. But lying to him about it all still ultimately deeply hurt him. this is the stage upon which the rest of the game will build.

Link, freshly traumatized by the death of his tree dad, leaves kokiri forest. he goes to castle town and meets princess zelda, a girl no older than him. Princess zelda tells him that she fears for the safety of her kingdom, but that no one will listen to her when she tries to warn them of the danger. this is our second adult failing--the entire conflict around which this game centers could have been prevented if only any adult was willing to listen to zelda's concerns about ganondorf. But because she is a child she is dismissed over and over again until she finally turns to ANOTHER child for help. her plan for link involves him retrieving objects needed to open the gateway to the sacred realm within the temple of time, which i know sounds like a bunch of confusing lore shit but all you really need to understand is that there's a gateway to what is essentially godlike power inside this temple, and zelda wants link to open the gateway and claim the power before ganondorf can. link already has one of the 3 keys he needs--it was the reward for killing the deku tree beating the first dungeon in kokiri forest, and zelda takes this as proof enough that he will be able to find the other two.

in these first three dungeon segments, link is confined to his nine-year-old form. His sword is wooden and deals considerably less damage than it will later in the game, and in each of the dungeon segments there are reminders of the way being a child affects his autonomy in hyrule--the guard at the gates of death mountain won't let him pass, the zora princess berates him for not being enough of a man, several collectibles are clearly visible but impossible to reach with his current size & ability, etc etc. this section of the game is deliberately juxtaposed against the initial segment in kokiri forest, in which everything was built for someone of link's size and strength and no part of the map was unexplorable or all that challenging. What you're supposed to realize here is that being a kid in hyrule is HARD. you have very little autonomy and are constantly condescended to. One of the few hylian npcs your age, Malon, is a good example of this--in her mini-quest she vents to link about how her father can't see that his stablehand resents him and she's constantly having to look after him without being listened to. She is being given adult responsibilities (looking after her father & the animals on their farm) without adult social status. Her situation is a deliberate parallel to both link and zelda's, though during this 3-dungeon segment of the game it's not immediately clear yet just how much adult responsibility link is actually shouldering. in any case, this is our third example of adults failing children, and the theme begins to be echoed in the worldbuilding of hyrule during this stage as well.

now we come to the initial confrontation, the scene which alters the trajectory of the game and divides what i consider the first and second halves of the gameplay (although the second half is probably much longer lol). Link, having found all 3 keys to the sacred realm, returns to hyrule castle, only to find that ganondorf has attacked, forcing princess zelda to flee with her attendant. He catches one final glimpse of her where she throws him the final key needed to unlock the temple of time: the ocarina. although no words are exchanged between them, it's clear that she's asking link to carry out the rest of her plan on his own and claim the power sealed in the temple before ganondorf can. and so link goes to the temple of time and opens the gateway, but link is nine years old and so link doesn't notice that ganondorf, a trained thief, is following him. When he opens the temple, ganon siezes the power zelda was trying so hard to keep him from finding.

we then pan down to link again, but different. he's changed, he's older. notably, he isn't an adult. he is sixteen years old, physically, but mentally, for both link and the player, no time has passed at all. this is important to keep in mind for the rest of the game--no matter how link may look, he is mentally still nine years old. he wakes up to essentially a lecture from the world's biggest dickhead, the sage rauru. Rauru places the blame for ganondorf's rise to power squarely on link and zelda's shoulders, noting that if link hadn't opened the temple of time in the first place, ganondorf would have never been able to sieze power. he tells link that he placed him into a deep sleep for the past seven years because, at nine years old, he wasn't strong enough physically to take on ganondorf and win. But now, he says, link is old enough to be a real asset. it's time for link to defeat ganondorf.

Once again, we have a clear-cut case of adults failing children. Link and zelda took matters into their own hands BECAUSE of the adults in their lives. for link, it was the deku tree (HIS FATHER)'s dying wish that he help zelda. for zelda, her plan was a last resort after begging every adult in her life to see what was coming and being constantly ignored. now that what she predicted has come to pass, she and link take all the blame for it, for being kids in a difficult position doing the best they could with NO ADULT HELP WHATSOEVER. you can't place the fate of an entire kingdom on the shoulders of two nine year olds and expect it not to fall. but that's what hyrule's adult leaders did, and when the kingdom fell they let the nine-year olds take the blame for it. zelda hasn't been seen for years. she's either dead or in hiding out of shame for her mistake. meanwhile, Link has once again become a pawn in someone else's game. The sage rauru decides for him, without ever consulting him, that he can't be trusted to remain conscious for the seven years between gameplay segments. that he will be safer and happier to remain asleep. anyone who stops for a moment to consider what this might do to link's mental state would have not done this, but rauru sees link as a child, which in hyrule is synonymous with an object to be controlled, with no feelings of his own. he needs to be protected and hidden, regardless of what effect it has on him when he wakes up. nothing else matters as long as he can be kept alive and unharmed. this is a deliberate parallel to the way the deku tree treated link while under his care in kokiri forest--he doesn't need to know the truth, because it's easier and more convenient for everyone else if he doesn't. its effect on his mental state doesn't matter. what matters is that he is kept in a position which is convenient for the adults in his life. this is another reminder of the way in which being so young hurts link, and if I can diverge into real-world relevance for a second, it's an obvious metaphor for the way trauma steals one's childhood. Link was never allowed to grow up normally. he went from being a kid one day to an adult the next, with no time in between to figure anything out. his childhood, his coming-of-age, was stolen from him by greedy adults who needed him to be a pawn in their war.

the dungeons in the adult segment of the game can technically be completed in multiple different orders, but the usual order (and what i think is probably the way the narrative is intended to progress) is to get to the forest temple first, which requires you to reenter kokiri forest, all grown up. it's important to note that up until this point in your gameplay, link still has plausible deniability about his race. sure, he didn't die when he left the forest, but maybe that was a lie told to ALL kokiri. maybe he's still a kokiri and he won't grow up. but now he's got solid proof that he was lied to, and that the safe, beautiful sanctuary he's spent the majority of his life in was never actually meant to be his home. When you return to kokiri forest as an adult, you find that it's nothing like the safe-haven you remember. it's been overrun with monsters that are taller than you now, as an adult. This is a metaphor, obviously, for returning to someplace changed. link goes back to his home and it doesn't feel like his home anymore with all that he knows now. And if the monsters weren't enough, if link talks to the kokiri, cowering in their little kid-sized houses, not a single one of them recognizes him. they address him as an adult they've never met before. to them, it's been seven years, and they've never known a kid to grow into an adult before. but to link, it's been a few days at most, and inside he's still the little boy they knew.

the dungeons in this segment of the game are mostly straightforward training exercises to give link the necessary skills and assets he needs to fight ganondorf. I'll skip over most of them, but there are three things i DO want to highlight about this section of the game: malon, sheik, and the water temple.

Malon is introduced in the first half of the game as an example of another child with very little agency and power. Seven years later, if link visits her again, he will find the ranch in an even worse state, with the stablehand having taken over and kicked out malon's father. Malon stays purely out of fear of what will happen to her horses if she leaves them in his hands. She is an adult now, as you are, and yet she has even less power than before. So much of the first half of oot is framed in such a way that the player wishes link was older. It wants you to think, wouldn't this whole thing be easier if I was an adult? Wouldn't I have more power, more agency? but now that you ARE an adult, you're confronted with the fact that nothing has changed. you are still a pawn in a war against ganondorf. Malon is still trapped at the ranch, forced to endure daily abuse or leave her animal friends to die. however, this segment is also the first time you as the player are given the option to fight back. If you, as a child, have taken the necessary steps to befriend malon and epona, one of her horses, you are able to use the bonds you forged in childhood to run the stablehand off the ranch and return power to malon. this mini-arc with malon is a teaser for the overarching arc of the game--having no power in childhood, believing that adulthood will be your savior, but finding the same powerlessness in adulthood, and ultimately returning to pieces of your childhood in order to finally reclaim your power.

next up is sheik, who is deliberately a mystery for the majority of this segment, but. well. we all know he's zelda, so i'm not going to beat around the bush. Sheik is what has become of zelda in the years since ganondorf took power--where zelda was once strong-willed and refused to stand down in the face of danger, sheik now moves among the shadows, darting in to offer link a bit of help or advice but never getting too close. My reading of this is that zelda, after growing up in the aftermath of her failed plan, was afraid of what she'd done to link. She saw her influence as the thing that brought hyrule to ruin--after all, link never would have opened the door in the temple of time if not for her. The way she sees it, her choice to use him back when they were nine destroyed his life and her kingdom. This is why she's largely absent in this segment of the game, only stepping in for brief moments and disappearing the second link tries to reach out for her. Her character at this point is essentially representative of self-isolation as a coping mechanism.

finally the water temple, which I promise i didn't single out just because it sucks, but i will warn any potential players that it sucks. it's the most convoluted ass design in the world and even with a walkthrough it gets confusing and hard to navigate at times. this is not the point of this paragraph, though. the point of this paragraph is that there is a miniboss in this dungeon that is INCREDIBLY important to link's character and to this day is one of the most well-done and impactful battles i've ever had the pleasure of playing. (side note, why the hell did the himekawa manga make this battle happen at the bottom of the fucking well?? ive believed for years that he was a shadow temple boss because of that. whatever. anyways)

about halfway through this dungeon, you come upon a room that looks like an endless sea of water, with bits of ruins and a single rotting tree in the middle. when you walk into the room, you'll be attacked by a mini-boss that takes the form of link's reflection, black and translucent with glowing red eyes. the miniboss dark link will mimic your attacks and block when you swing, requiring players to be crafty and strategic in order to beat him instead of just swinging with the right weapon at the right time. from a purely gameplay-based standpoint, this fight is sick as hell. it rewards you for thinking on your feet and forces you to come up with real time strategy to beat a foe who genuinely seems to think the same way you do, which is REALLY cool, especially for a game released in nineteen fucking ninety eight. narratively, though, there are symbols upon symbols upon symbols to be picked apart in this fight alone. there's the obvious metaphor of fighting onesself--representative of an internal struggle of some kind. pair that with the set dressing for this arena and the information we already know about link, and things start to fall into place. Link was raised in a lush forest, surrounded on all sides by walls of trees that kept him safe and isolated from the world at large. the minute he left that forest, bits and pieces of his worldview started to fall apart--he learned his identity as a kokiri was a lie, experienced the hardships of being a child in hyrule, and now he's grown up and become a pawn in the fight against ganondorf, losing what little agency he had along with the ability to return to his home in kokiri forest. He finds himself in this illusion room, with a shadow version of himself waiting to attack him, clearly indicating that this room is representative of his state of mind. an endless, desolate landscape stretching out into infinity. no walls to keep him safe, no cover at all save for that one single, ROTTING TREE in the middle. This tree is a symbol of link's mental state. (my evidence for this one spans across a couple games but just trust me when i say this interpretation is grounded in reality it would just take too long to explain) and the tree is not looking good. it is dying. and from this dying tree springs a reflection of himself that link must fight to progress. I think there's an obvious message that's being conveyed here: link regrets leaving kokiri forest. he regrets the way he's been used, the hard truths he has had to learn about the world since he left. He is still mentally nine years old, and as a child he still yearns to return to that safety he was promised in kokiri forest despite knowing that it's no longer there for him to return to. Dark link is representative of all link's fear and regret and turmoil surrounding his destiny and what has been done to him over the last seven years. Because this is a video game, he is able to physically fight those feelings, to defeat the reflection of himself that torments him and walk out of that room at peace, having faced his fears and confronted his true feelings. Narratively, this battle is representative of the ongoing internal struggle link is grappling with over the course of this segment of gameplay, and shows the player how link must overcome those feelings of fear and inadequacy in order to gain the power to defeat ganon.

now we finally come to the ending segment of the game. this is where the lore gets a little bit convoluted and trips some people up. if you're not a lore slave you can basically ignore the triforce thing. the only affect it has on the narrative is that it gives ganondorf a reason to need both link and zelda, since they have the other two pieces of the powerful relic he's after. this is why he kidnaps zelda and taunts link to come rescue her instead of just like. hunting them both for sport in the wilds of hyrule.

the final battle with ganon is the culmination of all your efforts throughout the game. in the leadup to it, the final dungeon reminds you of this by having each of its rooms be a mini-version of one of the previous six temples you completed in the second half of the game. once you finish this final dungeon, you're able to get into the castle. I have to mention one of my favorite design choices in this whole game here, which is the fact that the background music in the castle gets louder the closer you get to the final room, and when you finally get there it's revealed that ganondorf was playing it the whole time. the details in this game make me crazy they're all so well-done. anyways. to discuss this battle we first need to discuss a crucial character who i realize i've forgotten to mention this ENTIRE time somehow: navi.

I love navi. i hate the way she became a joke among fans. this is not the point of this post. the point is that narratively, navi is one of the only GOOD adult figures we see in the entire game. (one could argue that she isn't an adult, but she takes on a guiding and mentor-like role for link so i consider her one despite some of her more childish mannerisms.) Navi is the one character who has been at link's side since the very beginning, the only consistent good influence on his life. the only adult mentor who hasn't somehow tried to fuck him over or manipulate him somehow. She is INTEGRAL to his survival through all the crazy bullshit he gets caught up in. the game makes her importance clear to the player in two ways: the first, obviously, is that she's the tutorial character--she tells you where to go, what to do, explains mechanics and puzzles, etc. The second, and the detail that's gonna be super important in our discussion of the final battle, is that she's tied to the game's targeting mechanic. It's subtle enough that I actually didn't notice it my first time around UNTIL this final battle, but every time you target an enemy to attack them (which with the way the camera movement is designed in this game is basically a required element of combat) navi flies to their weak spot and hovers there, which is the in-game explanation for what targeting is--navi is showing link the monsters' weak spots. in the first phase of the final battle with ganondorf, he erects a forcefield which prevents navi from entering the battlefield, removing the player's ability to target completely.

i absolutely LOVE this battle in terms of both gameplay and narrative. removing the targeting mechanic is a genuine handicap that makes the battle genuinely difficult for the player, and narratively it serves to remind you of the importance of navi, a positive adult influence, in link's life. without her, dealing damage is so much more difficult, but as soon as you have her back the battle becomes super intuitive and you're able to strategize much more effectively. Eventually, you deal enough damage to get navi back and flee the castle with the princess, before making one final stand against Ganon, a mutated beast-form of ganondorf. with navi by your side, his massive weakness becomes easily targetable, and you're able to defeat and seal him for good.

the end-credits scene of the game shows link time-traveling back to his nine-year-old self, before any of the events of the game have come to pass, and re-entering hyrule castle to warn nine-year-old zelda about what is to come. this is a time paradox, i know, but i LOVE this ending thematically. As I mentioned extensively earlier, link and zelda's stories are both representative of the way trauma robs you of childhood. they were both stripped of their chance to be children and grow up and come of age due to what happened with ganondorf. Allowing link to go back and prevent those events from ever occurring is a promise of healing. it's a promise that he and zelda will be able to reclaim the childhoods that were stolen from them by war and by adults who wanted to use them as pawns in it. it's a reclamation of the agency that these characters have been consistently denied throughout their stories. it's. a good ending. it's a really good ending. I like it a lot.

So uhhh wow that was a lot! what it comes down to is that i think oot is a story a ton of people can relate to. being a kid with responsibility but no agency and longing to be an adult, but then growing up and wanting nothing more than to return to the childhood you lost... that's something that really resonates with me, at least. and yeah oot has a lot of quirks and convoluted story and stuff but at its core it's a really beautiful coming-of-age that deals REALLY well with trauma and childhood and growing up!! tldr it's just. a genuinely incredible story and it means a LOT to me lol

#THIS IS SO LONG IM SO SORRY IM CRAZY LMAOOOO #zelda analysis #everyone please play ocarina of time. im going insane here

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excalibur-gone-missing · 6 days

Note

Hello, hope this message finds you well!!!

My birthday is tomorrow and I was wondering if I could request something for Wonwoo or Jeonghan,,, something that starts as angst and ends as fluff maybe? I've been feeling so shitty lately, sigh.

But also!!! I totally understand if you don't accept this req hehe

Have a good day/night ahead ❤️

P.S. if you accept anons, can I be 🦷 ?

Paring: wonwoo x you, jeonghan x you

Requested: yes

Genre: fluff, angst

Warning(s): cheating, a bit of violence

Summary: wonwoo cheats and jeonghan swoops in to save the day

Word count: 1.0k

Other works

Beta reader: none (its not proof read)

disclaimer: this is not the exact representation of the subjects in real life. I just use them for my inspiration.

a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask. Plus, if you loved it enough don't forget to reblog, it will help me reach a larger audience.

[permanent taglist] [only for those interested, don’t fill the form otherwise]

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a/n 2: hey! happy birthday!! or advanced birthday! I wanted to post a proper fic, but as its your birthday, i didnt want to make you wait. so a drabble for i shall provide :)

plus i hope you feel better soon. im rooting for you!!!!!!

btw yes i accept anons, and i would love to talk with all of you! ✨✨✨✨

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Wonwoo is a busy man. I mean of course he is. The stelar kid of the family, the only child to get a medical degree and also the one to have a fiancé at the age of thirty-one ready to get married and start his own family.

The man was just the epitome of brilliance and was always diligent and hardworking. He was filled with back up plans and made more back up plans for those said back up plans. He was so into creating the perfect life for himself, he even made sure that he has another lady in store to be on the safe side because what if this one leaves him?

Now this is where you come to play. Unbeknownst to you the doctor you had been dating for the better half of two years, has already made plans for his happily ever after with another. What is more hilarious is the one said lover of his is none other than your distant cousin.

Being a woman with normal job that requires working for normal hours in the office, you accepted the fact that you would never understand the intensive hours these doctors work. Yes there were times when he was not called on his pager but his phone and was asked to immediately go to the hospital. Yes there were times when you had gone to the hospital to surprise him only to know that he was not there. And yes he specifically told you he wanted to keep the relationship private as all his coworkers are too nosy for their good.

Should you have figured out that the one guy you were madly in love with was already set to become the husband of other?

Yes

But did you?

Absolutely not!

Maybe that is why he kept you around, you were easy to lie to or were you just a good lay?

You would never know. Funnily enough you wouldn’t have know about the woman either if she wouldn’t have come to your house after your genius of a lover forgot to turn of his location during his nightly escapades with you.

The lady came storming into the house looked around in search of the man who had wronged her all while screaming at the top of her lungs at trying to make her presence known.

You would have never felt the hurt you felt that day if Wonwoo knew how to be a loyal man to his fiancé. You would have never have to hear the words, “this is the bitch you were fucking behind my back all this time,” from that lady. While she slapped you like she hated you and took jabs at your pride.

She made you question your integrity, your life and all your actions. Was it your fault that the man who said sweet ‘I love you’s to you every night was also telling them to his beloved fiancé. Maybe it was.

But the deed was done your self-respect was destroyed. Now you would always look at the mirror and realize that it was you who was the other woman. It was you who took the beautiful fantasy of one home away from another.

You left Wonwoo that day. He never tried to call. You were never important to him anyway. He left you broken, questioning your values, your life, and your actions.

This hurt more than any breakup you had been through because it was when you realized how naïve you were, how it was easy to lie to you. It made you feel like shit and there was no going back.

You stopped visiting your family, and meeting too scared to see those disappointed looks on their faces. What if you stumbled upon her when there was a function, she would hate you and you were too scared to face anyone let alone yourself.

She got married to him anyway. It was just a small hiccup in their relationship, while it did indeed destroyed you, they were happy. It is all that mattered to them. And although you would give them the credit for moving on with their lives, you couldn’t say the same for yourself.

It was then you had met Jeonghan, the man was funny and jovial, a bit of a prankster. He was exactly what you needed to escape life. He was the breath of fresh air you needed. He anchored you to reality and let to feel the happiness of life.

The friendship you both had built, had come shattering down one day when you got to realize he was friends with none other than the man you threw you down the shameful spiral of self-hatred.

That week you reused to talk to the man, at all. He suddenly made your skin crawl. For if he were friends with a man as despicable as Wonwoo after all his deeds, how much of a monster could he actually be. You didn’t want to stick around to get to know that.

Exactly a week after that Jeonghan was standing at your door. And was ready to make you talk no matter what. And talk you did that day. You shouted at the man for a whole hour to make sure he understood you would never be the other woman again. You were fooled once but you refused to be fooled twice.

After your shouting spree, he had held you to calm you down and told you he didn’t know what had Wonwoo done. He apologized profusely for the hurt his friend caused you while relentlessly promising to never betray you.

That day he asked you for a chance and just asked you to trust him for this once and let him in your life. He promised he would make sure you never you feel any less than what you should. He promised that you were enough for him and would spend his whole life proving it to you.

Surprisingly enough he did. He never left you once after that, never let you question your worth. Now after almost thirty years. You are happy with the man. You have lived a life were you enjoyed every bit of it. Jeonghan made sure you did. With your three kids happy and settled, you both went to live in the countryside seeking the peace that comes with it. You are happy and you are sure you would trade the whole world for this happiness. But good for you, you don’t need to.

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a/n 3: i hope you liked this !!

#svt #seventeen #excalibur asks #anon asks #excalibur talks #svt drabbles #svt wonwoo #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen imagines #seventeen jeonghan #svt jeonghan #svt angst #svt au #svt fanfic #svt imagines #excalibur fics

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actualbird · 2 years

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assorted hc rambles that one way or another have something to do with the academia in tot's canon

wc: 1k

cuz even if i know this is a game of romance and wits and murder mystery law, hyv cant just drop the cast like the nxx team (aka vyn and artem have doctorate degrees, mc is a graduate attorney, luke has a master's in bioengineering, and marius is working on his master's in oil painting) and not expect me to want to know more about how theyre interacting with their specific spheres of academia

stellis university's biology department is begging "Pearce, L." to please consider giving a guest lecture for their students, pretty please

i think it's very entertaining to remember that several departments at stellis university have a bunch of Celebrity Poster Students/Alumni/Profs.

psychology dept obviously has the graceful intelligent dr vyn richter and hoo boy, that incident back in his personal story 3 where for a hot sec the university believed a SKETCHY CALLOUT POST accusing him to be a TOXIC MANIPULATOR....okay thats pretty on par for the course of how social media works HAHA. but my point here is that vyn is beautiful and a great teacher and theres a fanclub for him and he was momentarily involved in juicy drama. hes the perfect poster prof, he brings in a lot of attention and, in turn, interested students.

the law dept obviously has artem wing, and theyve also got rising attorney mc too!! im not sure if ingrid rosworth is canonically also a graduate of stellis uni, but if she is, im sure the law dept can drop some spicy rumors about ingrid and artem's Bitter Rivalry or something

aaaand the fine arts department has The marius von hagen as a grad student, and that in itself is already a big draw and a bunch of publicity.

but what about the STEM nation?

luke pearce is the only person on the team that is in no way affiliated with stellis university. he got his master's degree at national central university, which (and i know i mentioned this before but i want to mention it again) is noted in the Big Data Lab to be a canonical rival school of stellis university

National Central University has been competing with Stellis University for the top-ranked college domestically for years, and each has its own strengths and weaknesses. [from the Big Data Lab entry on NCU]

which is already so hilarious to think about. can you imagine national central university and stellis university's sports teams go against each other for a big game and suddenly the nxx investigation team is divided due to school loyalties? luke's gonna be the lone ranger rooting for national central and everybodys gonna affectionately call him a traitor

but i digress.

while luke is the most lowkey of the team in terms of publicity/popularity he gets from the media, surely, surely this canonical genius' bioengineering contributions during his studies garnered attention from the nerds at stellis uni.

the master's thesis written by Pearce, L. is something many students and faculty have been fangirling/fanboying over the moment they read it, and it becomes known that Pearce, L. is currently residing in south stellis, and thus the dept keeps sending luke emails inviting him to do a guest lecture sometime

and he always just replies with a concise and friendly "No thank you! :D" because 1) hes got enough on his plate to do right now and 2) cuz of stupid school loyalties jhvJHVKSJHFS, hes not teaching on enemy territory

"MY DISCIPLINE'S citation style is better than YOURS!!!"

luke (biology/engineering) and vyn (psychology/pedagogy) use APA. mc and artem (law) use The Bluebook Style. and marius, our sole trooper in the fine arts, uses MLA.

if ever the team have to collaborate with somebody else in the team who is outside of their respective discipline's citation style to co-author some research, blood will be shed. the chaos would be immense. everybody assumed they were using the same citation (i.e. whatever citation each of them were respectively used to) and then when they realize the formatting discrepancies, the ACADEMIC RIFTS IN MANUALS OF STYLE, everybody gets extremely defensive and comically overdramatic over their preferred format of choice

vyn, luke, and marius: //squinting at the bluebook format

vyn: this is...

marius: youre gonna be way too passive aggressive with your thoughts, what we need is blunt aggressive. this format sucks balls

artem: it does not suck balls

vyn: no, he's right, it does

marius, muttering to himself: oh that was a weird feeling, vyn saying im right

artem, louder: it doesnt!!

luke, looking at mc with the biggest saddest puppy eyes: w-when did you change so much...i...i thought i knew you, i trusted you 🥺🥺🥺

mc: STOP MAKING THAT FACE AT ME, I HAD TO ADAPT IN LAW SCHOOL. WHY ARENT WE BULLYING MARIUS??

marius: uh, cuz marius is right and holy and all of you are wrong?

vyn, immediately switching sides cuz he loves the drama: MLA is ridiculous. why on earth is the only number present in the in text citation the page number?

marius: cuz it's simpler and doesnt take for-fuckin-ever to read past?????

luke, grumbling: least MLA could do is have the year in the in text citation...

marius: thats what the works cited portion is for, bitch!

artem: so you want us to flip all the way to the works cited portion to see the year? that seems like it would take much longer to do, like it would take forever---

and this argument would go on for far too long.

moving on

one day vyn is sick and has to postpone a class and...

if vyn comes down with the ails, he'll of course have to update his students about how he wont be coming in on that day.

now, he wanted to start off his email saying. "I am afraid I will have to postpone classes [...]" and whatnot, but vyn is Very Sick. he starts writing the email, passes out like a few words in, and when he wakes up he sees the email he had accidentally sent to all his students:

Good day, I am afraid

(based on this hilarious tumblr post)

#tears of themis #luke pearce #marius von hagen #vyn richter #artem wing

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mumintroll · 8 months

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i am taking a break from tumblr but i need strangers 2 vote on a poll for a major life decision okay. will give reasonings underneath for all the options + u will have some context if youre an avid mumintroll post reader and remember all the times i have complained and worried abt my choice of subject at uni

sooo option 1. thought process is i have already struggled through one year and made it out with decent grades, i do want to learn french and dutch even if i struggle to do it in a formal capacity at school and find language classes extremely difficult and anxiety inducing. it is possible if i take the step of getting therapy + possibly medication i will find it easier but thats a hard step to take in and of itself and i have already tried it twice in my life and pussied out both times and atp it may be easier to just work with the assumption that i wont be getting therapy/meds any time soon and do something that eases my anxiety more.

option 2. i like each of those subjects and would be okay doing one or some combination of them. however they are not the subjects i would pick if i was applying to uni afresh its just that my uni doesnt have a wide range of humanities so the subjects i would definitely want to switch to arent available to me if i want to stay in this city which i DO. i would be able to continue dutch language classes if i did this too but there would be less pressure bc the grade wouldnt count to my degree and i would be able to just chill in class w my dutch friends (i dont have friends on the french side of my course so it wldnt really matter if i stopped seeing all those people)

option 3. so this one im unsure about bc i dont know if its allowed but i would want to do dutch language + culture alongside either english/history/philosophy. i dont think they would let me since dutch isnt a primary language but i could check. i would really like to do the dutch cultural modules but again having language count towards my grade stresses me out bc i struggle with it so much. and again i dont even know if this is allowed i dont think it is but if it is i would get to go on my year abroad still but not have to deal with french classes which i find 1000000x more stressful than dutch classes

okay now vote if you read my novel idk what 2 do

#just the thought of doing one more french class makes me want to throw up one million times i dont want to do it anymore #but i do love french as a language. idk

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tania05 · 1 year

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🪐My Solar Return Chart(2023)🪐

So I was looking at my SR chart (as one does) excited to see what it would bring…

Masterlist

• Let’s get into it.(im not an expert and am using other tumblr posts and websites to help me dissect this chart which I will like at the end of the post guys.)

• So the first thing I see is my sun is in the 9th house. Makes sense because i’m starting college this year. So that was checked off. Then I look at my moon. Its in Sagittarius in the 3dd house which I found cool because My SUN is in GEMINI in the 9TH house OPPOSITE my MOON in SAGITTARIUS in the 3RD house. Two luminaries in opposite signs and houses and I know it makes sense because Gemini and Sagittarius are always gonna be opposite from each other but with my sun and moon and the houses…that’s awsome(i hope). I didn’t know what it meant so I searched it up. “Solar Return Sun opposition or square Solar Return Moon This influence could bring tension in your home which will disturb your tranquility during this period. Don't get too emotional about the problems you have, and try to analyze them more rationally. You could experience disagreements or tension in the relationship with your mother or other female relatives, and you may not always get your family's approval for what you do or say. You also could have some problems with your health because of your need for emotional balance. Watch out for nervous tension and eat a healthy diet. You could feel weaker and less effective than usual, and you may find yourself at odds with relatives who are difficult to get along with at this time. You could lose patience with people and if your work exposes you to the public, you should be careful to avoid unnecessary disagreements and misunderstandings, especially with women who won't tend to approve of your ideas. You will probably be dissatisfied with your daily routine and may even have the desire to change your residence. Already reading that, Im like

•So I look at my Mercury and see it’s in Taurus Conjunct Uranus at the 0 orb. So im cool with it because natally, I have Mercury Square Uranus at 5° so im not really worried about the negative affects because I deal with it everyday but then I see it’s in the 8th house and also realize I have an 8th house stellium which is funny because last year’s SRC, I had an 8th house stellium and in my natal chart(if you use Placidus) I have an 8th house stellium too. Now I believe Merc-Uranus means that now the way I think will…not necessarily expand because I think that’s more of a Merc-Jupiter. I will be thinking in more unconventional ways in 8th house themes. Tbh, im mostly interested in the money aspect because in college, you need bank and seeing Jupiter in TAURUS in the 8th house is making me happy asf! Jupiter is also Conjunct my NN at 1 orb. NN represents what lessons I will learn this year.(side note, imma be referencing @evangelinesbible post a lot so maybe have it open on another tab.) I may learn about how to handle money this year and maybe even get an inheritance like (scholarships) and a lot about sex and intimacy which makes sense because im going to enter my 7th house profection year. With Jupiter Conj. NN, I may get a lot of scholarships and/or money and I may indulge in sex..a lot🧍🏾‍♀️ calm down kitty kat. My Part of Fortune Conj. Jupiter too🤑💵💸💸.

•My Venus. My lovely, lovely Venus. It’s the same sign as my natal Venus and are both at a critical degree. Natally, it’s at the 1° and here, it’s at the 29°. It’s also in the 10th house Conj. MC at 2 orb. My MC is also at the 27°. 1st thing right off the bat, I can see that im going to get a LOT of attention this year🧍🏾‍♀️. Venus Conj. MC may mean that I may get a lot of admirers(romantically) in the work place the involve Cancer like traits(Healthcare, Chefs, nurturing type of jobs) which is on brand because I want to be an Occupational Therapist. It could also mean that I may REALLY love my job. Basically in the work place and with my reputation would be very good and favorable and people would see me as this cute, kind, cookie cutter type girly(Cancer MC and Venus). However, my Venus is at the 29°, so maybe the things I talked about earlier would be difficult for me. Because Venus is mostly known as the planet for love and romantic relationships. The relationships I have could be on full display to the public (MC at the 27°. 27° is a well known fame degree) which could be viewed in a negative light. I think it’s more romantically because I have a Libra Asc( a placement know for having good luck in love) and a lot of 8th house energy(sex, intimacy, ect), Chiron in the 7th house(partnerships, collaborations, ect) and ofc Venus in 10th house and conj MC. All emphasizes on relationships or at least partnerships. My love life is going to be 💩. Here I thought I would meet the loml in college cause I have a Cancer Venus in the 9th house natally. Love that for me😒

•My Mars is in Leo at 8° in the 11th house. This year, im full DIVA mode. “A diva is a female version of a hustla💃🏾” is my mantra and mindset this year. Like Mrs.Beyoncè(Mrs.Carter if ya naaaaaasty), Leo mars shows im driven and passionate about my dreams/goals, my manifestations, and my friends. Imma go HARD. HAH💪🏿. I may develop some INTENSE, POWERFUL, SHOW STOPPING, BOLD, confidence this year. My mars also sextiles my sun at 5 orb. Channeling that drive and energy wouldn’t be a problem. However, my Venus Squares my NN, giving me tension in my friendships so…pray for me. I may approach sex in a very extravagant way. Imma find a GIF that represents what I mean.

(The Fire in the background is so fitting💀)

•I already talked about Jupiter so we’re moving to Saturn. Saturn is in Pisces in the 6th house. Saturn in the 6th house. Saturn is about “restrictions, maturity, and the dynamic with my father.” The 6th house represents health, routine, work habits and etc. I may become more discipline in those areas or may face some restrictions in those areas. With Saturn in Pisces, I believe I will face restrictions because Pisces does NOT work well in Saturn at all. I may struggle with my work, my health, and my routine. However, Saturn Sextiles Part of Fortune so some of that luck may help me and loosen that negative blow.

•Talked about Uranus so we move to Neptune. Neptune is in Pisces in the 6th house at the 27°. Neptune is at home in Pisces since it is its natural ruler. Tbh Neptune represents what Pisces is imo. It represents dreams, intuition, imagination, delusions, lies, etc. With it being in Pisces, that energy amplifies in the 6th house. I may sell myself this idea of getting everything together, having my routine, and health on point but not actually doing it. Well in my case, I probably will because Saturn is in the same place too. Neptune being in at the 27°(a success degree), not only will I have Saturn helping me with discipline and structure (hopefully), the 27° gives my Neptune success through communication. For example, I could tell somebody that I want to work out more and they encourage me/help me and could build a bond with them. “Walk it like I talk it” is the beat way for me to describe the relationship between Saturn, Neptune, and Neptune at the 27°.

•Pluto is in Aquarius in the 5th house at 0°. Pluto is all about transformation, rebirth, destruction. Like the Tower Card in tarot. Aquarius is about rebellion, thinking outside the box, independence, innovative. The 0° is another critical degree. It’s new, like a baby, It needs to gain experience and guess what? I barely have experience in the 5th house themes. I may step into it unconventionally or in an odd way and it may come off as…powerful?? Like I may take the lead in creative projects and maybe sex and the way I do it is seen as Unique or innovative. Pluto is the planet of extremes and with it opposite Mars, intense, out of this world passion + determined, unstoppable drive = 🧨💥💥💥💥💥💥💥. I will be a force to be reckoned with because this is insane. But, again, it ties into what I said during my Venus section. I forgot to add this but Cancer is a well known placement for the Arts. Maybe the create plays a big role but I truly feel that relationships and intimacy is the MAIN theme of this year. ESPECIALLY since Venus is my chart ruler.

•My North Node is in Taurus in the 8th house at 3°. NN in Taurus, I may learn how to take care of my self, manage material things, and maybe learn how to express my sensuality because my NN is in the 8th house. House of Intimacy, Merging Sex, loans, inheritance, partner’s resources, etc. Mostly stuff about money and partners and probably communication because the 3° is ruled by Gemini. Maybe learning how to communicate better is another lesson and by the way my chart looks, those 3 lessons will be learnt……THOROUGHLY ☹️

•Vertex is in Gemini in the 9th house at 17°. Vertex is what’s fates this year……im fated to go to college, communicate, and maybe get popular for the wrong reasons🧍🏾‍♀️🔪.

•Chiron is about what might hurt us and how you heal. Chiron is in Aries, in the 7th house, at the 18°. Aries mostly focuses on self while the 7th house represents mostly with working with other people and the 18° and quote,”this degree actually symbolizes you’re doing so much service for others that you’re not making enough time for yourself.” Through-out this whole chart, im always dealing with other people to the point where it has become a wound. To heal myself, I gotta put me first ☝🏿.

ASTEROIDS

•Nessus: I can’t find the post that talked about it so for rn, this is blank💀

This is my chart everyone. Hopefully my analysis was good and pray for me cause im gonna go through it this year

#solar return #astrology #solar return chart

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