#yes i would fuck the babadook how did you know

[w-o-r-d-s--f-a-i-l]

The Babadook (Muse)

Sexual orientation: Omisexual

Gender: genderless (uses it/he pronouns)

Species: Shapeshifting tulpa

The Babadook is a shadowy tulpa that is said to be the embodiment of grief, anxiety, and depression though its true form and origin are lost to time, having been around as long as the concepts themselves and in a way older than most societal constructs. Like the things he is said to be the embodiment of, he demands to be acknowledged and if those demands aren't met, he has no issue with forcing himself to be acknowledged by making those he inflicts himself upon see him through violence. One it is acknowledged, it never truly goes away like grief, anxiety, and depression itself, but is something that can be managed with effort and care.

It has no true form, often shifting into a form that brings its target the most turmoil to overcome. Only when the victim no longer fears it is it something that can be easily dealt with and it gladly allows itself to be a permanent part of lives that is always there but is more akin to an old friend than the demon he is often determined to be.

#musies #the babadook #indie rp #mister babadook #horror rp #yes i would fuck the babadook how did you know

[marshmallowleos]

Yeah I’ve been better at not over thinking or stressing about it as much. as long as he’s healthy and feeling happy it’s good! ^^ I hope he just slows down a little and takes time to eat and relax more.

I love he’s like yes the nips are now out and on his terms. I think frankenstein helped him with that too.

Bloody hands version is good but I don’t think it’s a surprise I love the reaper sexy dead man look the most I love how the veil covers him and the hat and how it makes him look so mythical and extra alluring I dunno how else to word lol

and please he is soooo hot 😫 I’m mostly just the sits quietly and admire type (tho yeah I went a little insane loud about reaper sexy like wow 🪦) I think I’m desensitised to his nips now it’s just oh look taeks nips are out hi 👋 lmaooo but he’s most definitely hot no matter his size and I agree he doesn’t need to try so hard or feel he must be that small. kr society pressure doesnt help. Like during fantasy he was broader and softer and he was beautiful then too.. I still think about how he said he ate all he wanted during his enlistment and he got to 70kg tho (I’d love to see pictures of him 😭) until a colleague mentioned he eats a lot like mind your business 😤

But yes taek hot song very good very much love 🥺🤧🖤

if hes happy then im happy but i do think he works too hard and puts too much pressure on himself which i think is probably a part of why he started dieting so much when he made his solo debut....think hes still self-conscious it just manifests differently now

he rly said you Will look at my tiddies for this comeback tits out on national tv breaking all the broadcast guidelines and revealing the scandalous and illegal second nipple

the bloody photos were my fave bc if you know anything abt me obviously they would be but honestly all the photos from this era were SO good i rly liked the ones with the veil too!! it was a rly interesting concept?? although i was reminded just a little of the babadook when he had the hat on. sexy babadook

WHERE are the pics of 70kg taekwoon i would commit crimes to see them im going to fight whoever made that comment abt his eating habits but yeah i think the hyper focus on looks and weight thats so prevalent in korea especially among idols rly doesnt help him at all theres an old old video of a “fan” asking taekwoon if he could lose weight like who the FUCK did they think were (thank god hakyeon is an angel and was immediately like “absolutely not hes already pretty next question” hakyeon is a verified members of the soft taekwoon fanclub)

last part is so true tho taekwoon is hot and the song slaps and piano man is a masterpiece this comeback is so good i love him thank u

#taekwoon rly is always pretty hes always been pretty

[zukosgay]

I see you posting about horror and I would love some recs if you have some to share 🙏

i just accidentally deleted a whole list fjahsjdasd i hate my life. anyways, i’m just gonna go ahead and assume you know the classics that get recommended all the time (the babadook, the ring, the exorcist, the vvitch, the conjuring, hereditary, the thing, insidious, etc.). here’s some underrated/indie horror movies i rarely see talked about (favs are in italics):

The not-actually-that-scary-but-still-good horror movies:

Let The Right One In (2008) – I mean, it’s literally my favorite movie/book and I have a tattoo of it, we been knew

Possum (2018) – I cannot even begin to tell you how much I adore this movie. Horror movies about CSA that explore it without once showing the actual rape, but still being terrifying/disturbing nonetheless?? Just an irish guy chilling with the puppet personification of his csa trauma????? Hells yeah (huge TW for spiders tho, i mean. I’m not scared of spiders but that fucking puppet is stil terrifying no matter how much I look at it)

Hard Candy has a soft spot in my heart. That’s my emotional support „ellen page tortures pedophiles“ movie

Thirst (2009)

Ravenous (1999) THE INHERENT ROMANTICISM OF BEING GAY AND CANNIBALS ON A MOUNTAIN. Brokeback mountain for cannibals

We Are What We Are (2010)

Marrowbone (2017)

The transfiguration (2016) – there’s so little vampire stories with black people, and i really loved how this wasn’t outright fantasy horror but had more of a ‚vampirism as an actual mental illness‘ approach

Nightbreed (1990) this movie IS lgbt cinema history

Gerald’s Game (2017) – we get it elena you love horror movies about the trauma of CSA

The autopsy of jane doe (2017) - i feel like this movie is perfect for horror fans who are tentative about seeing any big grotesque/gorey jumpscares 

As Above, So Below (2014) (the first and so far only movie that got permission to film in the paris catacombs) (also good for starters)

The Actually-Scary (at least to me) movies:

Lake Mungo (2008) ((think of TMA’s The End)) (i deadass think about this movie so often, the story is so devastating and really stays in my head. also the bg ghosts)

The [REC] franchise!!! any of those movies fuck me up and are TERRIFYING (again ff) 

I watched 30 Days of Night (2007) when it came out, when i was way too young, and it still to this day holds the spot for coolest vampire design (they modelled them after the jaws of white sharks!!! They’re supposed to be slavic strigoi) and also one of the only one times where i was actually scared by vampires

Livid (2011) (french horror movie!) (v gorey)

The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014) (found footage of a demonic mom – you’ll see a lot of FF on this list cuz i think it’s criminally underrated and terrifying if done well)

NOROI: The Curse (2005) ((ff))

Open water (2003) (this is scary to me because it’s based on a true story about a couple who went cave diving in the ocean with a guide who got LEFT BEHIND in the middle of the motherfucking ocean – with literally nothing to hold onto and no one even reporting them missing. Also, after i watched this i did a lil research and turns out there’s quite a lot of people ‚going missing‘ while taking swimming lessons where the guides will just drive to shore without them YEARLY. Fucked up if true) ((this has tma the vast vibes))

Clown (2014) (I recommend this to people who aren’t scared to like Eli Roth movies and think It Chap. 1 was boring)

Martyrs (2008) – a classic, this movie is bound to disturb you. It’s about child abuse and the survivors of child abuse enacting revenge, though it’s not the typical csa/anything similiar. HUGE tw for uhhhh, torture, self harm, mutilation etc..

Mama (2008) – the goth tattooed rocker chic jessica chastain movie

The bay (2012) (ff)

The last exorcism (2010) (ff)

The wailing (2016)

If you put on any V/H/S movie for me I’m guaranteed to shit my pants, so there’s that

May (2002) – i turned lesbophobic after watching this movie. About a lesbian obsessed with dolls i’ll say nothing more

The not-as-scary-but-still-scary-so-i-dont-wanna-put-them-in-the-first-list-in-case-i-traumatize-anyone movies:

Creep 1 & 2

The Strangers

The void (2016) ((tma the spiral))

The Hallow (2015)

The loved ones (2009) – a classic

Excision (2012) (if you liked raw)

Devil’s pass (2013)

Afflicted (2013) ((ff))

The cell (2000)

Session 9 (2001)

They Look Like People (2015)

The children (2008) – fuck them KIDS

The blackcoat’s daughter (2015)

I really liked Armie Hammer’s netflix original Wounds (2019)? IDK why. I found the story (albeit better suited as a short story) fascinating

Night Eats The World (2018) – another french movie! This time it’s about the inherent isolation and loneliness in locking yourself in a parisian apartment all alone with a bunch of zombies eating the rest of the world

Pontypool (2008)

The lure (2015) – yes, we’re polish, yes, we’re mermaids, yes, we eat men, yes, we also perform in a pop girl group WE EXIST!

I am not a serial killer (2016)

Green room (2015)

That’s it, pretty much. 

#god i saw my life flash before my eyes when i accidentally deleted the whole reply. so i did it in word instead #pirategf

[mousemilf]

The Babdook, Evil Dead, Cabin in the Woods (for da ask me :))

omg thank u... ask me... did u mean meme silly. ily <3

the babadook: have you ever felt like you were being watched? well yeah. yes. a lot.

evil dead: have you ever woken something sinister? you already know this omg ive told u abt this... u want me to reveal this on main i suppose i will. for you. well basically in 2017 i made a little drawing on ****, a few weeks later received the 10 of swords in the mail w my depop order and i was like theres a connection here and i collaged them into this drawing

and well basically i had just moved into my first apartment that week, which was a scary attic from the 20s that had been converted into a studio apartment. i had my little stairwell where there was a landing in the middle w a set of stairs leading to my door, and another set that led down and then had been walled off when the house was renovated into apartments. this will come up later. so i had just moved in there and suddenly i come down w an awful fever, and water starts giving me a rash. i had other people test it to see if it was the water in the apartment but no i would just break out in full body hives anytime i showered or anything. weird right! so obviously im like this is some kind of entity attacking me. obviously right. and then one night my touch lamp starts turning off and on by itself and im hearing a woman laughing and i was like omg its her from the painting shes in there. and thats kind of when it started up. she would torment me and knock things off my shelves at night and mess w the lights. basically anything bad that happened to me was her fault in my eyes like if i lost something i was like its her dark magics aaaaaah! this is also when the whole anorexia thing started back up and i kind of saw her as like my co-conspirator in that. i was like nobody gets me but my haunted painting. pretty soon i moved her down to the aforementioned spooky alcove in my stairwell so she could have her own space and some of the more tangible haunting things like the lights stopped. i would leave her offerings like food and stuff but the thing is i couldnt go down those stairs to clean it up so i would just throw stuff down there and let it rot. a couple times i caught a cockroach in a jar and left it to die in the alcove for her. sometimes she would ask for specific things like if i made cookies she'd want one. i partitioned it off w caution tape so no one could go in her space. i hung a self-portrait across from her to keep an eye on her and she kept knocking it down (probably just bad tape but u know how it is with psychosis.) the thing is, you had to pass her to get into my apartment. so whenever i had anyone over the first thing they saw when they opened my door was my fucked up little shrine and i knew it was embarrassing so i didnt really have people over often after this started. by the time i moved out 3 years later, i wasnt hearing her anymore and did not interact w her very often but i still couldnt remove my shrine when i left but i still got my whole security deposit back anyway bcs bobby is pretty valid as far as landlords go and he probably felt kind of bad for me. anyway. im still not sure how much was psychosis and how much of it was an actual entity bcs other people witnessed the lights thing and said they felt "evil energy" from her. but yeah that was my ultimate crazy bitch moment pretty much. but you knew this already my love.

cabin in the woods: where do you spend your holidays? do your friends go with you? usually with family. matts family did big holiday parties w extended family and im really missing those.. my family doesnt rly do a ton for the holidays its usually just my immediate family but i still like it :-)

thank you my dear. sorry for being mental health on main btw. ilysm

#<3<3 #akizuke #ic

[hauntedskeletonmoon]

ENTRY THE ??????

Time may have lost all meaning but horror media sure hasn’t! I have more opinions written just for you, dear reader.

16) Scarlet Hollow

Friends of some of my real life friends made this game! Do you like weird old towns, fucked up humanoid monsters, and elderly dogs? Then BOY, do I have a visual novel for you. I recently did a playthrough of what’s been released so far and really enjoyed it. The dialogue is fun and snappy and the art (by Abby Howard, creator of the incredible webcomic The Last Halloween) is GORGEOUS. I have no idea what’s going to happen in the story but I’m very intrigued. The first chapter is free on Steam and there’s still time to back the kickstarter this week. 

17) Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Back in 2014 I had the audacity—the AUDACITY—to say that this movie wasn’t worth watching because it was “muddled and nonsensical.” Horseshit. Watch it. It’s about an evil scheme to use Halloween masks powered by Stonehenge to turn American children into piles of bugs and snakes. Who gives a shit if it’s “good”? Movies don’t need to be good to be good.

18) The Haunting of Hill House (2018) 19) The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)

I’m here to tell you that these shows are good, actually. However, you do have to go in knowing that they are not one-to-one adaptations of the original stories, but more like extended riffs on the idea that love and horror are inextricable. I’m very into that so I had a grand old time. Hill House properly captures how I imagined Shirley Jackson’s accursed building would ensnare a whole family instead of just one person. Bly Manor commits the gravest possible horror sin—it isn’t scary—but it has something most shows don’t: wholesome, straightforward lesbian content. Both of these are on Netflix. 

20) Daniel Isn’t Real

I went into this movie with low expectations and was very pleasantly surprised. Not unlike The Babadook, the central “antagonist” seems to be a crude metaphor for mental illness but turns out to be something external: a thing in itself that preys on the weak and the wounded. An imaginary friend turns out to be very real and very dangerous...and also, the main character’s mother has a harrowing schizophrenic breakdown. Multiple things can be scary! The performances in this are fantastic and it has some very surprising body horror about halfway through.

21) [REC] (part one and part two on dailymotion)

Remember zombies? Remember when zombies were scary? Pepperidge Farm remembers. If [REC] doesn’t creep you out you may be clinically dead. Just watch it. 

22) Child’s Play (2019)

This is yet another movie that pleasantly surprised me. It’s a reimagining of the classic Child’s Play for the 21st century and you know what? It’s not half bad. Instead of the ghost of a serial killer, this iteration of the Chucky doll is inhabited by a malfunctioning artificial intelligence; the movie opens with a disgruntled sweatshop worker disabling the morality protocols on a high tech children’s toy. If you’re wondering why a toy has morality protocols that can be disabled then you are thinking too hard. Just go with it. Mark Hamill voices the doll.

23) Bride of Chucky 24) Seed of Chucky

I am recommending these movies for serious reasons and definitely not because I have a huge monster crush on Jennifer Tilly. These are two of the silliest horror movies I’ve ever seen and frankly I adore them. Bride is a genius continuation of the original Child’s Play mythos and Seed (good lord I do hate that title though...) is so bizarre I can’t not recommend it. It has John Waters and a child doll who is sometimes Glen and sometimes Glenda. It also has Jennifer Tilly playing herself and Jennifer Tilly playing a murderous doll because she HAS the range. 

25) Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

This is an objectively terrible movie but you should absolutely watch it. Jason Takes Manhattan posits that Crystal Lake connects to another lake which is close enough to New York City for a bunch of high school seniors to take a boat there. About 90% of the movie is spent on the boat, and when Jason finally arrives in Manhattan it’s actually Vancouver. He punches a man’s head straight off his shoulders and into a dumpster. Please watch this movie.

26) Alien vs. Predator

Watching this made me understand why people write reader-insert fanfiction about the Predator. Is it scary? No. Does it have that thing where someone or something gets cut in half really fast and then falls apart slowly? Yes. If you like seeing buff monsters go about their business then you’ll probably like this.

27) The Existential Threat (music video)

Back in middle and high school I used to get a kick out of watching Cyriak’s animations of exponentially multiplying and mutating farm animals. Cyriak has come a long way as an artist since then. I truly hated watching this. It’s the visual equivalent of accidentally tasting your medication before you swallow it. Top tier creepy stuff, in other words. 

#long post #horror recs #Scarlet Hollow #halloween iii season of the witch #the haunting of hill house #the haunting of bly manor #daniel isn't real #[rec] #child's play 2019 #bride of chucky #seed of chucky #found footage #jason takes manhattan #alien vs predator #cyriak #horror movies

[chasseurdeloup-retired]

Striker Down || Nora and Kaden

TIMING: After the mime bombing and after sad Blank PARTIES: @fearfordinner and @chasseurdeloup SUMMARY: Kaden promised to go deer hunting with Nora. No deer were harmed in this chazty.

Kaden had almost forgotten that he promised a hunting lesson. One that wasn’t supernatural related to boot. To be honest, he had no fucking clue what he was doing. Still, he set up the weapons he’d brought with him, making sure they were all polished off and ready for use. Not that anyone but him would care quite so much. He took out with him to the woods a compound bow (Striker), his crossbow (Redemption), and a couple of shotguns (Corpsemaker and Thunder). Seemed like good game hunting weapons, right? As much as he was tempted to bring the full chest full of weapons with him, he didn’t need anyone normal to see his full collection and kit, chock full of silver, stakes, holy water, some cast iron pokers, and salt. Among other things. While wiping off a finger print or two from Redemption, it occurred to him that maybe hunting deer wasn’t a thing that people did at night. Too late now. He was thinking she might not show or get lost on the way to the coordinates he gave when he heard what sounded like footfall in the distance. “Over here,”  he called out to what hoped was Nora. Granted if it turned out it wasn’t her, he was holding a crossbow. Should be fine. What could go wrong?

Life had been kinda boring lately. Nora hadn’t been going out and scaring people as much as she’d previously been doing. It was a shame. But it was a fixable shame. That was why when Kaden finally reached out to Nora to let her know that they could go hunting Nora was ecstatic. It was a time to fix all of that. Babadook and Nora came up with the perfect plan to scare Nora and she was thrilled to get it underway.  ‘Over here.’ Nora could smell him before she saw him, but the call was a nice little greeting. She wandered over and looked down at the weapon display. She’d never used a weapon before, her illusions were mostly enough to scare her food. She pointed at the compound bow, her deep secret fantasy of being Kiera Knightly in Princess of Thieves quickly coming to mind. “I want to use that one.” She announced in lieu of greeting.

Kaden wasn’t sure what to expect from all this. He’d tried to keep his mind open, what he knew of Nora was that she was pretty weird. Somehow he still didn’t anticipate this. His brow shot up when she gestured to the bow. “Hello to you, too.” Part of him wanted to stand in front of the weapon protectively. Weird instinct, sure, but she just seemed so eager. How did he know she wasn’t going to break Striker? He’d been through a lot with that bow. It took down at least two wolves. He gave her a good one over before grabbing it. “You ever used one of these before? I’m not about to hand off my shit to someone who doesn't have a clue what they’re doing.” He kept his hand wrapped tight around the grip as he held the bow towards her. “Don’t lie to me and act like a badass, either. I don’t need to take an arrow to the knee today. Or ever.”

Kaden was talking a lot, and none of it was ‘Great, here hold this bow lets go shoot some deer.’ Which, not to be dramatic, Nora found very disheartening. “I went to camp once.” Nora answered, there had been bows at camp. There had also been the incident that was the reason she was never allowed to go back to camp, but that wasn’t something Kaden needed to know about. “I’ve watched every Robin Hood movie adaption made to man.” Nora added, as like a supplemental course material. She hoped this would be like when schools give you credits for community service and what not. “I didn’t know I had to bring my own weapon, I don’t own one.” Nora also added. She reached into one of her many jacket pockets and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. “I brought this.”

Kaden stood there for a moment, blinking, waiting for an actual explanation to come. Once he was positive he wasn’t going to get any sort of actual answer from her, he sighed and handed her the fucking bow. “Just be nice to it, alright. You break it--” His lips formed a thin line as he cut himself off, unsure of what the hell the consequences would actually be if she did break his shit. He wasn’t going to kill her but he was probably going to want to. With his free hand, he reached out for the whiskey bottle. A great idea while using weapons? No. Something he was positive he was going to need to get through this whole thing? Yes. “You know anything about tracking deer?” he asked as he opened the bottle of Jack to take a swig. He hoped she had an answer. Because he sure didn’t know how to find a deer. A hedge hound? Sure. A shriken? A buggane? Absolutely. Normal game? Fuck if he knew.

“I buy it?” Nora asked, taking the bow. If it wasn’t for her face’s complete inability to express any kind of emotion there might have been a huge grin on it. Instead she looked like a tax auditor examining a nice spreadsheet for the third time that day. Enough time has passed to wake up that the drowsiness is gone from the face, the excitement of finding a second nice spreadsheet is gone, and finally it’s just all business. Straight and serious. “Sure.” Nora stuck her nose up and took in a deep breath. “I don’t smell any around, but we’re upwind. They could be behind us.” She also wasn’t very confident in smelling deer. They weren’t her normal prey. She grabbed the bottle from Kaden and took a big swig before offering back. “What now?” There was also the small side not that she knew Babadook had scared away all the deer in the area. This was ‘Plan Scare Kaden with demon dog!’ not ‘Actually Kill a Deer Day.’

“Uh, yeah, if you can. Sure.” Kaden hoped he’d at least know how worried he should be once she had the weapon in her hands. He was soon disappointed. It was impressive how not one ounce of emotion passed across her face as she took the bow. Not one. That didn’t exactly help settle his worries. Kaden’s face scrunched together, trying to figure out why the hell she thought she could smell deer. Then again, it was entirely possible that was actually how you hunted deer. Sniffing for werewolves? Sure. That made sense. They smelled like shit. He didn’t think bambi did, though. Not that he’d know. “We, uh, we…” He was about to just take another drink of the whiskey and try to come up with more bullshit when he heard something in the distance. Off to his left. His head shot towards the source of the sound and he held up a finger to his mouth, hoping she’d get the hint. He couldn’t say what it was. Just that it probably wasn’t deer.

Nora, a woman of very little words, saw Kaden put a finger up to his mouth and instantly thought ‘Well now I have to speak just to spite him.’ “What is it?” Nora asked, mustering all the power in her diaphragm to make her monotone voice as loud as possible without outright shouting. Her own nose moved to the air, whatever it was, it did not smell like deer. Of course that was up to the master hunter himself to learn. Without waiting for him to give instruction, Nora silently began to head towards the noise. Whatever it was, she wanted to see it.

Kaden turned his head and stared at her, mouth agape. Was she fucking serious? What part of the universal sign for "be quiet” did she misunderstand? And then she fucking walked towards the potential danger. Putain. He sighed and rolled his eyes before following after her, grabbing his crossbow as he followed her. Of course she fucking walked head first right towards the sound that was probably not from a deer. "Come back," he whispered sharply as he trailed behind her. As they entered the clearing, there was no fucking mistking it. That dog-like thing with tentacles was not a deer. He reached out to grab her arm and force her to stop fucking walking towards the goddamn monster. “Wait!” he snapped, voice low and quiet.

The random man on the internet who had agreed to go hunting with her seemed to be full of regret now, as he kept whispering ‘Come back’ and ‘Wait’. Nora did not come back or wait. Instead she walked into the open clearing and stepped closer, a hand instantly reaching into one of her many pockets to fish out for some meat. Whatever this dog with tentacles was, Nora was instantly in love. Well, she had been when she first found the dog weeks ago on a walk. The love was still there, but now they also had a familiarity they were playing down. All for the sake of Kaden. The true target of the hunt. A lot of dogs weren’t fond of her, it was probably the smell of hulking beast behind the small woman that off put them. As Nora stepped closer her first thought was ‘oh no it’s bleeding.’ Bloody tissue mixed with exposed bone giving the dog the perfect ‘Just been attacked and i’m in pain’ look. It let out a mournful howl as Nora got closer. “No, shhhh, you’re fine. See! I have…” Nora finished fishing in her pockets and pulled out a chunk of ham. “Ham. I have ham.”

Were residents of this town really so stupid that they’d walk right up to a fucking monster like it was a perfectly safe house pet? Or was that just her? Hard to say. Kaden rushed forward, knife in hand, ready to protect them from the dangerous monster who was… howling in pain and practically asking her to be pet. Alright then. He still kept his crossbow at the ready, aimed at the monster. “Are you feeding it?” he asked in disbelief. The beast was disgusting and while he was pretty sure it wouldn’t attack, you never knew with monsters. “Back away, it’s not safe. I’ll take care of it and we can go find deer.”

“Of course I’m feeding it.” What did he think? The ham was for him. Well. It would have been if they hadn’t found the most beautiful dog Nora had ever seen. Nora approached slowly, arm outstretched with ham upon open palm as she got closer. The dog seemed interested. It didn’t back away at least. It’s tentacles swayed mesmerizingly. More dogs should have tentacles, Nora decided. It would make the world a better place. “I’ll take care of it.” Nora announced. The dog came forward to eat the ham in a large gulping motion that Nora could relate to in a personal way.

Every one of Kaden’s instincts told him to shoot the monster, keep it from hurting anyone. Even if he knew that yeth hounds weren’t always aggressive, the fact that it was a monster was enough, right? Yes. It was. His crossbow remained trained on the monster. There was no way to take it down with her standing in the way or without injuring her. Well, he could hit a tentacle. “That’s not what I meant,” he said, keeping his eye fixed on the monster. If it tried anything, he was shooting. “Now back aw--” Before he could finish, one of the tentacles whipped around and thwacked at Kaden’s ankles, knocking him off balance. The crossbow went off and the bolt dug deep into one of the other tentacles. Putain.

Anger like she’d never felt before rose in Nora. What had he not comprehended when she said that she would take care of it. Visibly shaking Nora turned as Kaden let a cross bolt out. Without thinking, without considering the weapon in his hand Nora felt herself shift into a transformation. The bear form took over and she lept in front of her new friend the Yeth Hound letting out the most horrible and terrible yodel she could do as a bear. Sure she couldn’t touch him if he wasn’t scared but she’d make sure he was scared. She started filling the clearing with illusions. Whispers were mocking him, calling his dumb, ugly, a bad shot, worthless, saying that his parents never loved him and no one would ever love him. Hands and eyes started appearing around tree branches, creeping closer towards him. He would not harm this innocent dog if Nora had anything to say about it.

Pain shot through his back as he turned to push himself back up from the ground. Kaden knew he couldn’t stay down long, not after engaging with a monster. Wait. What was-- Was Nora turning into a bear? Putain. He groaned and half of him wanted to just lay there. For fuck’s sake, a bugbear? Really? Of course she was drawn to the fucking yeth hound, he should have seen it coming. His annoyance didn’t linger long, though. The sharp claws, the horrible howl, that was enough to send him scrambling backwards on his hands. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. His heart pounded in his chest as he started hearing scathing words and seeing the forest close in around him. Deep breaths, hee had to take deep breaths. No time to let panic set in. They weren't real. That bear was. He pushed himself up and lunged for his crossbow, grabbing his bolts and shoving one in the weapon and letting it loose at the bear as quick as he could. It might buy him time. He sure fucking hoped it did as he turned to high tail it out of there. Fuck. Striker was still there, under her. Putain. He really liked that bow. He paused and turned again and let out another shot. Maybe he should let it go. Fuck.

Nora could taste his fear. It was a kaleidoscope of scents mixing into one delectable course. At least something good would come out of this. Nora took it in, feasting as she made the whispers ever louder. “You’re no good, Kaden. You’ll never be good. You’re just. Like. Your. Father.” That last one as from a Vine nora thought was funny. Imagine yelling at a duck. Nora was too busy feasting that she didn’t see the crossbow bolt coming. Even if she had, she probably wouldn’t have moved. Nora wasn’t the kind of person to believe others would hurt her. Pain shot through her, coursing its way through her thick hide. Her breath caught, a grunt of a yoodle came out and she found herself shivering. Behind her Babadook, realizing that the plan had gone wrong from his own wound and hers licked her reassuringly. Nora forced herself to keep scaring him. Raising on her hind legs she let out another loud, ear shattering yodle. This time when she came down on all fours her front paws landed right on top of Striker, splintering the wood beneath her giant paws.

Kaden’s hands shot up to cover his ears as the bear reared up and screamed, wincing at the sound piercing his eardrums. It didn’t do much to help, not with the crossbow still in hand, but it did stun him into standing still for the moment. When he felt the ground rumble, he opened his eyes to see the bear back on all fours. And his beautiful bow crushed underneath her paws. Merde. “Fucking bugbear,” he grumbled ass he turned to just fucking book it. He planned to find the other weapons he’d brought, grab them, and go. As much as liked the idea of taking down a bugbear, it wasn’t a secret that he was taking Nora hunting. If she went missing and was found with crossbow bolts and bullets in her, it’d be fucking bad. He couldn’t have that. Not to mention he almost liked-- No. That was before he knew. She fucking attacked him after the hound tried to take him out. She was a monster. He killed those. It was simple. It had to be. Right? Fuck. He ran to his car, weapons in hand, and threw them in the back. The car reved and squealed as he booked it the fuck out of there, trying to push away the weird throughts trying seep into his mind.

Kaden ran. Nora could hear him running as she shifted back into a human. The bolt came with her. Nora leaned against babadook, both of them breathing heavily from their wounds, both of them dripping blood around the bolts sticking out of them. “Well, boy, that didn’t go to plan.” Nora tried to laugh but the movement shot pains up her side. She groaned, gripping at her side. The bottle of Jack Daniels was with her shredded clothes and Nora crawled for it, every action causing her an insurmountable amount of pain. “What do you think a bugbear is?” Nora asked the Yeth Hound, taking a large sip of the alcohol before offering it to the demon dog. The bottle, she noted, was now sticky with blood where she had grabbed. Oh fuck. She was going to need to call someone quick.

#wickedswriting #chatzy #writing #striker down #nora #fearfordinner

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Back to Haunt Me

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Light Angst

Word count: 12301

Summary: Simon Snow hasn't heard from his former roommate in years. So when he gets a call from him, he's equal parts confused and intrigued. Based on "I called you at 2am because I need you" request from @god-themself

Read on AO3

AN: I'm really sorry for how long these requests are taking, oy. Every time I start writing, the fic ends up getting longer and my stupid body decides to crap out and not work. Anyway, here's the latest fic. Hope you enjoy it :)

———————————————

Simon

I’m sitting upside down on my couch when I get the call.

It’s not something I do too often, just when I’m really, really stuck on something. I say that ideas pool in my feet and this lets them trickle down to my head. Penny thinks it’s absolutely ridiculous. She says it will give me headaches, and it does, but it also helps. I’ve been stuck for an hour on coming up with new lessons. This is my last resort.

So I’m laying upside down on my small couch, legs up in the air, face turning a very bright shade of red. My glasses slipped off a while ago, making me essentially blind to anything more than five feet away. My mind is swimming with new ideas for maths games and art projects, the mental images almost swirling past my blurry vision.

And when I’m deep in contemplation a new history Kahoot, my phone blares out my “Toxic” ringtone. (Britney is amazing and haters can fuck off.) I flip up way too fast, making my vision spin like water in a toilet bowl. I paw at my phone while I wobble back and forth. With the combination of my glasses on the floor and blood rushing from my head, I don’t bother to read the caller ID. Or lack thereof.

“Hello?” I say shakily, still clutching my head.

“Siiiiimon,” a low, slurring, strangely familiar voice says. Is a student prank calling me again? Dammit, I thought I scolded them enough.

“Jeremy, if that’s you, this isn’t funny. This is my personal mobile and you-”

“Aw, did you already forget me, Snow?” the person continues, and my heart suddenly freezes. “It hasn’t been that long has it? Only seven years.”

My jaw drops and I sit ramrod straight. Every vein in my body turns ice cold. Holy. Fucking, Shit. “Baz?!”

“Yes, it is I. Good evening, Snow,” he snorts, but there’s still that weird waver to his voice.

“A-Are you drunk?”

“Ding ding, we have a winner in every category,” he giggles. Fucking giggles. I don’t think I ever heard him let out so much as a chuckle in all the years I lived with him. He must be very drunk.

“Um, how did you get my number?”

“Remember when you got mysterious calls supposedly from the Babadook when we were fifteen? Surprise! That was me! Got your mobile off the school registry.”

My mouth falls open even more. “I knew that was you!”

“Duh!” There’s some shuffling on the other end. “Shush! Yes, I actually have him on the line. I’ll get him to come.” He’s definitely not talking to me. He lets out a long sigh. “I’m sorry about that, Snow. Super sorry, for everything I did back in school. So please don’t hang up.”

Admittedly, I was going to. But he sounds so pathetic and drunk, so I stay on. “Alright,” I sigh. “I’m still here.”

“Hooray!” There’s a short stretch of silence. He doesn’t continue, so I have to pipe up again.

“Baz,” I say, “not to be rude, but, uh, why are you drunk calling me? We haven’t seen each other in awhile and it’s...” I scramble to grab my glasses, then look at my wall clock. “After two in the morning. Plus, you like, hate me.”

“No,” he slurs out. He sounds well pissed. “I don’t hate you, Snow. You’re too much of a kind brave hero to hate.”

“Um, thank you?”

He laughs loudly. I’ve heard him laugh more in the last five minutes than I did our entire childhoods. “You’re very, very welcome.”

Again with the silence. I can’t believe I’m the one talking more between us. “So... why are you calling? You wanna catch up or something?”

Baz lets out a long, low groan. For some reason, I imagine him slumping against a wall or something. “I bloody wish. Stupid barkeep won’t let me leave until I call someone to get me and my stupid friends and stupid aunt won’t pick up.”

“So you decided to call me?!”

“You’re the only other person I know who lives in London.”

“Who told you I lived in London?”

“Aggie. Said you had a cute little flat and a cute little cat.” He giggles, and I can almost picture a dopey smile on his usually frowning face. It looks so weird and wrong. “Hey, that rhymes.”

I sit even more upright. “Wait, Aggie? As in Agatha?! Are you two dating now?!”

He scoffs. Now that really reminds me of our school days. “No, Snow, I’m not dating your ex. She’s not my type.”

“That’s rude. Agatha is very pretty.”

“I mean that she’s not a man, Snow.”

My face immediately turns scarlet, and this time not from being upside down. “O-Oh. You’re gay?”

“Once again, duh!”

“Fuck off, you flirted with her all the time!”

“Nuh-uh.” He sounds like a bloody obnoxious American. “Not really. Just did that to piss you off.”

“I’m hanging up,” I growl.

“Wait!” Baz shouts as I move the phone off my ear. “Please don’t hang up, Simon. Fucking hell, I need you.”

I seriously debate actually hanging up. But there’s something in his voice that tugs at my chest. It’s weird and explainable, but it’s there. I slowly bring the phone back to my ear. “You need me?”

“Yeah,” he groans. “I’m drunk as fuck and uh...yeah, I’m still bleeding.”

My pulse goes wild instantly. “Bleeding?! Are you hurt?!”

“Yeah, but you should see the other bloke,” he laughs proudly. “Bartender says if someone doesn’t pick me up and take me home, she’s calling the police to come get me. Doesn’t trust me with an Uber or something.” Baz makes a weird yet familiar sound. Is...is Baz Pitch sticking his tongue out at someone? What the fuck has happened in the last seven years?

“Alright,” I sigh. “Where are you?”

“Yay! I am...” He takes a long pause, which gives me time to rub my aching temple. “Hey, where am I?”

There’s more rustling and some muffled yelling. “He’s at XOYO,” a stern woman’s voice says. “32-37 Cowper St, second floor. We’re closing in an hour so get here soon.”

Before I can say anything else, the phone clicks off. I stay frozen for a moment. My brain is still playing a bit of catch up. So, Baz bloody Pitch has called me out of the blue after seven years, drunk off his arrogant arse, apparently gay, and needs me to pick him up. And now he’s sorry for being a dick to me through our entire time in school? That’s nice. Few years too late if you ask me, but better late than never I suppose.

I look down at all my notes, the ones I have to finish in a few weeks before the new school year. If I were a worse person, I would forget about Baz, finish my lessons, and just go to bed. He’s my former bully, I shouldn’t care. But when I think about Baz, drunk, bleeding, sitting there alone at a bar waiting for me but I never show up, my stomach plummets to the centre of the Earth.

Godammit.

I march towards the door, grab my keys, and set out to fulfill a bad idea.

Turns out this bar is right in the middle of bloody Shoreditch. Which means at this time of night (or morning), there’s lots of closing nightclubs and stumbling drunk people being sick on the sidewalk. Glad I didn’t take the tube.

XOYO is a mostly nondescript red brick building with some black panelling and a neon red sign. I park as close as I can, which is not that close. The stairs up to the club are steep and leave me panting by the end. Bloody hell, I need to get back to the gym. Chasing ten years old is not enough exercise apparently. The bar is one of those hipster places with wooden tables and old Victorian chairs and candles. There’s a few people passed out on tables, snoring with their beer glasses.

“Simon!” a familiar voice shouts from the bar. “Simon, over here!”

I turn to my left too look at the bar, and...wow. After seven years, Baz looks so different, yet so the same. Same sharp cheekbones, same long-ish raven hair, same deep sea grey eyes. He’s broader though, shoulders filling out his blood stained grey dress shirt. Far less gaunt and gangly and vampiric looking than he was in school. The shirt has the sleeves rolled up and the top two buttons undone. Weird. Baz always had his uniform buttoned to collar in school. Then I have to do a double take, because...Baz Pitch is wearing jeans? They’re dark and expensive looking, hugging his legs, which still have a footballer’s strong muscles. He has a big, dopey, drunk grin, which is offset by the small black eye and blood trickling from his nose. It’s unfortunate this is the first time I’ve ever seen him smile.

I walk towards him, hands in my pockets, shoulders nervously hunched in. Why is my heart beating so fast? Bloody hell, calm down, Simon, it’s just Baz. You know him, probably better than most people. He’s an arsehole, not evil. And we haven’t had a physical fight since we were thirteen. Plus it’s been seven years, we’re adults now. He won’t bite. Hopefully.

“Hi Baz,” I say, trying to hide my nerves. “Uh, nice to see you.”

Baz squints at me, and a pang of panic shoots through me. Is there something wrong with my face? Bloody hell, what a cruel twist of fate it would be, to see my childhood enemy after years and have pizza sauce on my cheek.

“Um, Baz, you there?” I weakly wave a hand in front of him.

“Since when do you wear spectacles?” he asks, still slurring his words.

I instinctively touch my wireframe glasses, immediately self conscious. “Oh. Since first year uni. Turns out one of the reasons school Watford so hard for me was that I couldn’t read the board a lot.”

I chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck. I expect Baz to laugh or mock me like he used to. But instead he grins again, leaning his cheek on his bruised hand. “They look good.”

Why are my cheeks heating up? Must be bad air conditioning. “Um, thanks, Baz.”

He keeps grinning, showing off his sharp bright white teeth. (There’s a good reason I thought he was a vampire.) “Welcome.”

It goes silent again, with me standing awkwardly and Baz grinning. Christ, this is so weird. I assumed I’d never see Baz ever again, let alone drunk and bloodied in designer jeans. I have less of an idea what to do than usual.

“Ugh, finally!” a woman’s voice says to the side. I whip my head around to see who must obviously be the bartender. She’s got a deep scowl on her face and hands on her hips. “You’re Simon Snow?”

“Um, yeah, that’s me,” I reply.

“Good. Please take this arsehole off my hands.”

Baz blows a raspberry at her like a toddler. Bloody hell, he is a weird drunk. The bartender glares and flips him off.

“I’ll get him out of here,” I say.

“Thank you.” She digs under the bar and takes out a sleek black iPhone. “Here’s his phone. Took it from him after he almost dropped it in a beer glass.”

“Alright.” My brow furrows in confusion. “Do you have Baz’s keys? Or does he still have them?”

“He never had them. Searched all his pockets, nothing there.”

“Worst feel up ever,” Baz grumbles.

I rub my aching temple. “Baz, did you really forget your keys?”

He frowns and scratches his head with a bloodied hand. “Hm, yes, I think I did. I left my flat pretty fast. Maybe the super will let me in if he’s awake.”

“Where do you live?”

His brows pull together, bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Now that is certainly an expression I remember from school. It’s his thinking face. I used to glare at him while he studied all the time. “Somewhere...posh, and silver.”

I groan and drag a hand over my face. “Alright then. Well...I guess I’ll bring you to my flat.”

Baz’s jaw drops open and he shakes his head, making his black hair fan out in a strangely majestic way. “No no, you don’t have to do that. I’ll figure it out-”

“No, Baz, you won’t, you’re too pissed to think right now. I’m taking you to my place, no questions.”

He frowns. I can’t tell if he’s sad or angry. “I don’t wanna im-”

“We lived together for years, arsehole. One more night won’t kill you. Come on, get up.”

I grab his bicep and haul him to his feet. Bloody hell, does he work out a lot or something? He’s made of fucking rock. Baz wobbles back and forth and ends up leaning on me. I struggle to keep him upright.

“Baz,” I grumble, “you’re too heavy, I can’t hold you up.”

“Sorry, sorry.” He sort of heaves himself upwards, still wobbling on his feet, but at least he’s standing. That’s something I guess.

“You good?”

Baz sticks out his arms like he’s on a tightrope. “Yeah, I’m alright. Mostly.”

“Good enough. Let’s go.” I look over at the still very annoyed bartender. “Uh, thanks for taking care of him.”

“If you’re really thankful,” she spits, “make sure he doesn’t come back.”

She marches off into the back. Baz flips her off before I quickly pull down his hand. “Enough,” I grumble. “Let’s get you out of here before she smacks you.”

“Kinky,” he chuckles. God, drunk Baz is fucking weird.

Getting down the stairs takes far longer than it should. Baz has to watch his every step so he doesn’t go tumbling down. He’s like a shaky newborn fawn. It would be cute if it weren't so frustrating. Finally, we get to the bottom and I lead Baz by the sleeve towards my car. He laughs loudly when we reach it. I immediately scowl and whip around to face him.

“What?!” I snap, assuming he’s making fun of my old beat up beetle. But instead he has his head tilted upwards, laughing at the sky. Neon club signs and yellow street lights light up his smiling face. He’s like a rainbow constellation, colour reaching every crevice. Huh. Baz has always been pretty, but has he always been this pretty?

“Lights in the sky,” he laughs. “Pretty.”

I groan and tug him hard. “Come on, you drunk prat, hurry up.”

Baz stumbles along reluctantly. I shove into the passenger seat and buckle him up like he’s a bloody eight year old, then take my place in the driver’s seat. Baz is slumping, the seat belt digging into his cheek. If we crash his pretty face is going to get cut open. I debate telling him, but Baz rarely ever listens to me, and I doubt that has changed much.

I turn the engine over. Baz lets out a whoop so loud I jolt. “Allons-y,” he shouts like some deranged adventurer.

“Silence, s’il vous plait,” I reply as I turn on to the road.

“Oo, you speak French now, Snow?”

“Yes. I lived in France for a year, I learned pretty well.”

“Very nice.” For a moment I think he’s mocking me, but his smile is completely genuine, if not a bit drunken. Is it weird that I like drunk adult Baz better than sober teen Baz?

I drive through Shoreditch slowly, making sure not to hit any wayward club leavers. Baz grumbles about the slowness, but I tell him to shut up or I’ll drive us into a pole. That makes him quiet for a little while, thank god. When we hit the main drag, he decides to pipe up again.

“So what have you been up to, Snow?” he asks.

My eyes briefly flick over to him, catching his grin and glazed eyes. I scoff and look back at the road. “Really? We’re going to chit chat about life after Watford?”

“You just want us to sit in silence the whole time?”

“Maybe.”

“Boring,” he groans. “Come on, Snow, it’s been a while. Let’s catch up.”

I chuckle low in my throat. “Yes, I would love to catch up with my plastered childhood bully.”

Baz lets out a pathetic sort of whining sigh. Suddenly, something brushes my shoulder. I jolt away and briefly look over, realising it’s Baz’s hand. He’s pouting in the way his mouth is perfectly made for.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “About all the shit I did. I was a messed up prick at Watford. I’m really sorry I took that all out on you.”

I raise an extremely suspicious eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really?!”

“It’s been seven years, Snow. Am I not allowed to learn from my mistakes?”

“Well, I mean, yeah, of course. I just didn’t expect it from you...”

“I’m a changed man, Snow,” he declares proudly. “No more picking on other people to avoid dealing with my emotional and family problems.”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Wow, you sound like a therapist.”

“That’s because I am a therapist.”

We stop at a red light, giving me a chance to whip my head around in shock. My jaw is firmly on the ground. “You’re a therapist?!”

“Sort of.” Baz grins pointed ear to pointed ear. He offers his hand, though it’s a bit limp. “Dr. Basilton Grimm-Pitch, psychiatrist in training at University College Hospital. Pleasure to meet you.”

I can’t take my hands off the wheel, so I don’t take his, but I smile instead. Baz chuckles as his hand falls, so I think he gets the picture.

“Wow,” I sigh. “You, a psychiatrist. I never would have thought.”

“Me neither, until I took a psychology course in year 10. Then I decided I liked, y’know, mind stuff and shit. It was interesting and challenging. And I could help people with it.”

I scoff, but with a smile. “And you used to call me the overly noble hero.”

“Well, I decided to follow in your golden footsteps, golden boy.” He turns towards me, cheeks squished against the seat. He’s really going to die if we crash. “So really, what have you been up to since Watford, Mr. Hero? Storming castles? Saving damsels in distress? Travelling the world?”

That makes me laugh louder. “You have a way overinflated sense of my heroism.”

He snorts, but it’s not unkind like it used to be. Just sort of amused. “Alright. Then what do you do?”

“I’m, uh, actually a primary teacher. Year six, to be exact.”

“Oh,” Baz breathes out, sounding genuinely amazed. “That’s cool. That makes sense, yeah.”

“Makes sense?”

“You were always helping out the kids in younger years at Watford.”

I chuckle and shrug. “Yeah, guess you’ve got a point.”

“Is it fun? Teaching children?”

“Yeah. I like finding fun ways to teach them stuff. Though it’s not great they get in fights or stuck lego bricks up their noses.”

Baz lets out a barking laugh. It’s a fun, sudden sound. I’ve never heard it before, yet it works well for Baz. “Is that what people mean by ‘the joys of children?’”

“Something like that. Is psychiatry fun?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “But time consuming. Doctors aren’t supposed to have damn lives apparently.”

“Well, good thing you found time to go to a hipster bar”

Everything suddenly gets very, very quiet. It reminds me of when we would study. Backs to each other, no noise, plenty of tension. Did I say something wrong? I used to do that a lot, but I thought I’d gotten better. I’ve learned to chew my words better over the years. But when we stop at a roundabout, I turn to see that Baz is gazing ahead, mouth a thin line and grey eyes lost in the distance.

“Pretty lights,” he whispers in awe, like a child. I guess alcohol does turn adults into children. His nose is still letting out a small trickle of dark red blood. I sigh and shake my head.

“Glove box,” I say.

Baz turns his head to me. “Huh?”

“There’s tissues in the glove box. Your nose is still bleeding a bit.”

“Oh.” He paws at the latch in front of him, floppy drunk fingers struggling to just bloody lift it. I sigh and reach over, lifting it for him. Baz takes out the little packet and flashes me that dopey smile. Why does my chest feel funny? I must be overtired.

“Thanks,” he says, then presses the tissue to his nose. It’s weirdly comforting in its familiarity. I still remember sitting in the headmaster’s office after our fights, covered in bruises and blood, glaring at each other. This is better though. We’re not fighting, in fact we’re being nice. Maybe this is how we could’ve been at Watford. Maybe we could’ve been...friends.

We sit in silence for the rest of the ride. But it’s a comfortable silence, no tension. I like it. A lot. I like all of this better than fighting.

———————————————

I pull into my spot in front of my apartment. Dragging Baz out of the car is a bit of a problem, but luckily my place has a lift, so no more stair problems. He starts leaning on me as we go up to my floor. I use one finger to push him back, and he slumps against the wall. I need to strap him to a dolly.

We go into my apartment, and I instinctively prepare for a snide comment from Baz. Something about it’s size, it’s clutter, the decor. But he says nothing derogatory. In fact, he smiles, brushing his hand against my Van Gogh print and old dining room table.

“You, uh, like it?” I ask. Wait, why does it matter what Baz thinks of my place? I don’t need his approval.

“Yeah,” Baz replies. “It’s very nice.”

There’s a thump from my room, followed by the familiar pitter-patter of tiny paws. Cherry prances into the room, all fluffy tailed and cute. She blinks up at Baz with big green eyes. Baz makes a tiny gasp and gets on his knees, holding his hand out to Cherry.

“Hello, pretty kitty,” he says softly. “Aren’t you an adorable little thing.”

Cherry sniffs his fingers, then immediately nuzzles against his hand. Baz looks absolutely elated, a big childish grin on his face.

“You like cats, huh?”

Baz nods vigorously. “I would have one if my building allowed pets.” He scratches behind Charry’s ear with glee. “What’s this little one’s name?”

“Her name is Cherry.”

“You did love those scones,” he chuckles.

I chuckle as well, fiddling with my shirt sleeve. “Still do. Though none are as good as Cook Pritchard’s.”

“Very true.” He stands up, pulling away from Cherry, and wobbles his way into the sitting room. He stands between my coffee table and ratty old couch. “So may I sleep on that couch?”

I scramble in after him and start piling up my curriculum papers. I don’t want Baz shouting at me for the mess. “Uh, yeah, just lemme fix it up a bit.”

“It’s alright-”

“No, I’ll fix it. And...maybe you should clean up a bit first?”

Baz turns to me with a confused expression. “What?” I sigh and point at is blood spattered shirt. He pulls it in front of himself, like a child who’s spilled food. “Oh, right.”

“There’s stuff on you face too...”

Baz drags a long finger over his cheek, and rubs the dried blood between his fingers. “Good  point.

“You wanna take a shower maybe?”

“Is that okay with you?”

“Uh, yeah. But be warned, I don’t have any of your fancy French soaps.”

He lets out a loud short laugh, like a happy little firecracker going off. “Wouldn’t expect you to, Snow. I doubt you’ve changed that much.”

“Heh, yeah.” I rub the back of my neck, which is getting very hot for some reason. I think I need to fix my fan.

Baz wobbles back towards me. He stands a bit too close, and now that things are calm, I notice how he smells. It’s a mix of liquor, irony blood, and the very faint, familiar scent of cedar and bergamot. Seven years later and I can’t forget that smell. I guess it’s burned into my brain forever. I’m not sure that I mind.

“Where’s the bathroom?” he asks, snapping me out of my olfactory induced daze.

“Oh, uh, down the hall and to your left. There’s towels in the cupboard.”

“Alright.” He sticks his hands in his trouser pockets, a very shy gesture I’m not used to seeing from him. “Thank you. Again. I’m saying that a lot tonight, wow.”

I chuckle and shrug. “I guess so. Now go wash off that awful blood please.”

“Aye aye, Mr.Snow.” He does a mocking little American salute with two fingers. I watch as he half skips his way to the bathroom, trying not to giggle at his ridiculous gait.

The bathroom door shuts, and I let out a long breath. My brain is still playing catch up. I need to sit, relax, just process all this shit. Once I organize my papers into semi-neat piles and close my laptop, I grab a cherry granola bar from the counter and collapse on the couch. I hear the shower turn on. I glance over at the clock. Bloody hell, it’s past 3am, and my enemy is taking a shower in my flat. Well, former enemy, I guess. We’re not fighting anymore. In fact, Baz is being really nice. It’s pretty damn great. I hope we can keep this up.

Cherry jumps onto the couch, startling me from my daze. She immediately curls up on my lap, purring happily. I chuckle as I pet her. Penny jokes that Cherry is my emotional support service cat. Honestly, she’s not wrong. I don’t know what I would do without her.

“Wanna watch Dr. Who, darling?” I coo, scratching behind her ear. “Yes, yes you do.”

I grab the remote and turn on Netflix, going to one of my favourite episodes. We sit there in peaceful silence through the show. I try not to listen to the shower down the hall. I can’t help but worry. What if he slips and hits his head? What if he falls asleep and drowns? What if he tries to eat the bloody soap? All are strong possibilities. But he’s still Baz. He’s too smart and stubborn to die.

As I near the end of the episode, I realise it’s been half an hour since Baz went in. My heart beats double time, every fear racing through my head. (As well as concern for my water bill.) But the sound of water shuts off, and I breathe a sigh of relief. I hear Baz’s unsteady feet pad around the tiled floor. But then there’s rattling and muffled swearing, and I’m on my feet immediately. Cherry meows unhappily and scuttles away.

“Sorry, girl,” I say as I speed walk to the bathroom. I knock on the wooden door. “Baz? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” his muffled voice replies, but that’s followed by a loud bang. “Bloody fucking hell.”

“I’m coming in.”

“Snow, wait-”

I push the door open and immediately freeze. All the blood in my body goes straight to my face, turning it tomato red. Because Baz Pitch is standing in front of my medicine cabinet with nothing but a towel around his waist. His hair is soaked and messy, falling adorably in front his shocked face. His legs look strong enough to crush someone. Thin rivulets of water drip down his broad, bare chest. I watch them for a few long, drawn out seconds, completely frozen. In our time living together, Baz and I made a point to never see each other without clothes on. Did he even look close to this back at school? Did I just never notice?

“Um...” Baz says, breaking me out of my daze. I whip around, hand cupped over my eyes.

“Bloody hell, Baz!” I shout. “Give a guy some warning.”

“I would have if you hadn’t come bursting in!”

“Well, you took awhile in the shower, then I heard swearing. Excuse me for being concerned.”

“I’m grateful for your concern, Mr. Hero, though not for your usual brashness.”

“Just put some clothes on, please.”

“Very well.”

I listen to Baz shuffle and grumble as I assume he gets dressed. I resist the urge to turn around and check if he can get his legs into his trousers. I’m not sure how drunk he still is.

“You can turn around now, Snow.”

I slowly turn, and my face turns scarlet again. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?!”

“Because mine is covered in blood,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Which I guess it is, but still he’s not wearing a shirt. Why are my hands so clammy?

Baz starts sorting through the medicine cabinet. I frown in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for bandages.” He lifts his left hand, showing off his bruised, still slightly bleeding knuckles. “You got any?”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll get it, sit down on the toilet.”

Baz stumbles over and does what he’s told (for once). I grab the first aid kit from under the sink and sit next to him on the edge of the tub.

“Gimme your hand,” I say. Baz holds out his arm, fingers limp. I try not to look freaked out. His skin is black and blue and there are many cuts, still bleeding slowly. “Why are you still bleeding? It’s been like, an hour.”

“My blood alcohol content is high,” Baz replies. “Booze is a blood thinner. Means I’ll bleed more.”

“Oh. That makes sense. Thanks, Mr. Doctor.”

Baz chuckles, a soft smile playing on his mouth. “Dr. Grimm-Pitch will do.”

I laugh as well. I take a towel off the rack and pat his hand dry, then get the antiseptic.

“I just had a shower,” Baz protests.

“Don’t care. We need to make sure you don’t get an infection.”

“I’m fine.”

I pour the clear liquid on a sterile pad. “Still doing it.”

“I’m the doctor here, dammit.”

“The doctor who is still drunk off his arse after a bloody bar fight. So shut up.”

Baz frowns, but doesn’t protest. I lightly pat his cuts. He inhales sharply through his teeth and tries to pull away, but I grab his wrist, holding still.

“Don’t move,” I say.

“It hurts,” he whines like a toddler.

“Yeah, no shit. That’s what you get for getting in a bar fight, idiot.”

He grumbles, but doesn’t move again either. Once I’m satisfied all the cuts are clean, I use another pad to get them dry, then take out the bandages.

“You get injured a lot, Snow?” He’s smirking playfully, not a hint of malice. It’s much nicer than his smug arsehole face.

“No,” I chuckle. “But it never hurts to be prepared.”

“Especially if your former enemy shows up drunk and bleeding.”

Thoughts start racing through my head. Horrible, nervous thoughts. I stop wrapping his hand for a moment, but quickly start again. Unfortunately, Baz notices.

“Something on your mind, Snow?” he asks.

I chew on my bottom lip as I secure the bandage. I gesture for Baz to give me his other hand, and he does. I slowly pat on the antiseptic and he doesn’t move at all. Slowly, I look up, and I meet Baz’s deep sea eyes. He doesn’t look mad or annoyed, just concerned. So am I.

“Baz,” I sigh, “you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. And considering you’re a bloody doctor now, I doubt that’s changed. So I’m absolutely astounded at how you could get so drunk and end up in a bar fight.”

Baz’s thin lips press together, and I watch his throat bob in a gulp. He leans his elbow on the sink, propping his cheek on his fist. “Snow,” he says slowly, “what do you know about my mother?”

My blood turns ice cold. I stop with the bandage completely, just looking at Baz. “Uh, not much. I know she died a long time ago. And...it was at Watford...”

Baz nods slowly. “Yes, that’s what everyone knows. But what most people don’t know is that I was there.”

And now my heart completely stops. My mouth falls open slightly. Baz’s face stays completely neutral. “You...you were there?”

“Yeah.” He leans harder on his fist. “I was sitting with the rest of the kids in the Watford nursery. Suddenly a group of men with knives burst in. They started to come after the nannies and the children. But that’s when my mother showed up with her hunting rifle. My father insisted she have it for protection when he wasn’t there. She got all of the men immediately, including the one holding me. She hit him in the shoulder so he dropped me. Another man charged her while she was distracted, and she shot him in the chest, but not before...” Baz rubs his eyes and the bridge of his nose, like I do when I have a headache. “Not before he stabbed her in the neck. She bled to death in seconds.” He drags his hand down his face. “I fell unconscious after that. When I woke up, my father and aunt were tending to my wounds, and my mother was gone. I was young, it’s all a bit hazy, but I remember enough.”

I’m left in stunned silence. Baz doesn’t say anything either, just rubbing his head. He’s not crying, but he looks on the verge of tears. I don’t blame him. I can’t believe it, can’t believe Baz went through that and no one ever knew. It’s just terrible.

“Wow,” I finally say, “that’s...wow.”

Baz chuckles quietly. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

“I never knew that happened...”

“No one did, Snow. All the gruesome little details were kept under wraps. It would’ve been terrible if anyone found out Natasha Grimm-Pitch died in such an undignified way that traumatized her heir.”

His voice is mockingly scathing, even with his slightly slurred speech. He’s a mix between furious and mournful. I don’t understand how he feels, but I don’t think I ever could. I may never have had parents, but that’s a far cry from watching your’s die.

“I don’t know how much it means, but I’m sorry that happened to you Baz.”

The corner of his lip quirks up into a small half smile. “Thanks, Snow.”

I start wrapping his hand again, and my brow furrows. “So, uh, what does this have to do with you getting drunk and fighting? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Baz takes a deep inhale through his nose, and lets out the air through his mouth. “My mother was killed twenty years ago today.”

“O-oh. That...yeah, that makes sense.”

“Mhm. I’ve lived with it for most of my life, but this anniversary hit me harder than I expected. I had my first day off in months, so after some mindless telly, I went to that bar. Gave the bartender my card and told her to keep the tequila coming. First mistake.”

“Second one was getting in a fight?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He flexes his bandaged hand. “It was just some arsehole looking for trouble. He kept prodding at me and shoving my shoulder until I snapped. I don’t even remember what he said. I was just so angry and sad and drunk. And that arsehole was right there” He groans loudly and rubs his head. “One of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.”

“Probably. But you made one good choice.”

“Oh?”

I finish bandaging his other hand and smile at his mopey face. “You called me.”

His mopeyness melts away as he lets out a breathy laugh. Our eyes meet, and his are glinting in a way I’ve never seen before. “Yeah, I guess that was a good idea.”

We smile at each other. Something tugs in my chest, something I don’t fully understand. I’ve never felt anything like this. Maybe I’m just overtired.

Baz flexes his bandaged hands. I put the first aid kit under the sink again. Baz stands and presses a hand to his bruised eye. hissing between his teeth. “Got any ice packs, Snow?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah,” I reply. “It’s in the kitchen, c’mon.”

We walk towards the kitchen. I open the freezer and pull out my reusable ice pack. Teaching a bunch of children can result in some bad headaches. I wrap it in a napkin and hand it to Baz. He presses it to his eye with clenched teeth. As he leans back against the counter, I remember he’s not wearing a shirt.

“Uh,” I say, “those jeans don’t look comfortable. I’ve got some spare pyjamas. Want me to get them?”

Baz nods. “Yeah, that would be good, thanks.”

“Alright, stay here.”

I go to my bedroom, wading through the laundry I have to do tomorrow to get to the dresser. It takes awhile for me to find something that will probably fit Baz. Damn his extra four inches, always so infuriating. I eventually pick out some trackies and a long Chicago Cubs shirt. It’s all I’ve got. I go back to the kitchen, and come upon a strange scene.

“Baz,” I say slowly, “what are you doing?

Baz looks up from the messy, cutlery covered counter, still pressing the ice pack to his eye. He lifts a plate with two pieces of bread, both half covered in marmite. “Making a marmite and cheese sandwich. You want half?”

His expression is so innocent, not a hint of the old malice I used to know. I let out a sigh. “Sure. Let me get the cheese.”

He grins and goes back to slathering on marmite. I pull my sliced sandwich cheese from the fridge. Hope Baz doesn’t mind cheap Tesco brand swiss. I bring the package to the counter, and Baz takes out a slice without even looking. Guess he’s not as snobbish about food as he used to be. He cuts the sandwich into two slightly lopsided triangles and swans out to my dining room. I follow behind with the pyjamas.

Baz sits in a chair, leaning back with his legs spread out. I sit across from him, placing the clothes on the table. Baz snatches it. It unfolds and his brows pull together.

“You a baseball fan now, Snow?” he asks.

I chuckle and shake my head. “Nah. Micah definitely is though.”

“Who?”

“Remember that American exchange student from fourth year?”

“The short nerd with large glasses?” His voice is muffled as he struggles to put on the shirt. Drunk Baz doesn’t get along with t-shirt holes.

“Yeah, that’s one way to describe him I guess. He and Penny started dating then and have been together ever since. She lives in America with him now.”

Baz’s eyes light up. “Oh, that’s wonderful. How is Bunce? I miss facing off with her in debate club.”

“She’s doing well. She’s got a job as an assistant professor in Chicago and loves American food. I just saw her a few weeks ago on vacation.”

“Marvelous. Tell her I say hello next time you speak to her.”

“Will do.” We both take one half of the marmite-cheese sandwich. Baz takes a huge bite, followed by a happy groan. I can’t tell if he’s drunk hungry or actually hungry. Probably somewhere in between. I take a bite as well. There’s far too much marmite, but it’s four in the morning. Right now anything tastes good.

Thinking of Penny makes me think of Watford. And something else, or more accurately someone else, pops into my head.

“Hey,” I say through the marmite, “you said you talked to Agatha earlier. How are you two still in contact? She cut off almost everyone after Watford. I didn’t start talking to her again until a year ago.”

Baz quickly chews and swallows. “Funny story there. I did a semester abroad in California and ended up in the same biology class as Agatha. It was extremely awkward at first. But once we sat down over coffee and sorted stuff out, we bonded very quickly. Similar upper class British family problems and expectations.”

“Oh. That’s makes sense I guess. It’s nice you guys talk.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good.” He chuckles, mouth gummed with marmite. “The weirdest part was telling her I’m gay. I apologised for leading her on, and you know what she did?”

I lean over the table, genuinely enraptured. “What?”

“Laughed her fucking arse off for ten minutes straight.”

I snort so hard I nearly shoot sandwich out my nose. Baz throws his head back laughing. He’s so loud he might disturb my neighbours, but I don’t care. His laugh is too incredible.

“Just like that,” he giggles, calming down.

“So she wasn’t mad?” I ask.

“No, not at all. She admitted she wasn’t really into me. She was just rebelling against her parents. We both sympathised on that front.” He sighs and leans back even more. “That’s all I wanted at Watford, really. I was under so much pressure to be the perfect son. I seriously considered yelling ‘fuck it’ and doing whatever I wanted.”

I sigh too, putting my cheek against my palm. “Yeah, I understand that. Mr. Mage put a lot of pressure on me. He wanted to prove to the Watford board that scholarship students were worthwhile, and since I was Watford’s very first scholarship kid, I had to be perfect. Every time I got a low grade he would yell at me for an hour.”

“What a prick,” Baz grumbles.

I chuckle as I nod slowly. “Yeah, total prick. Watford wasn’t an easy place to be.”

Baz slowly lowers his sandwich, looking pointedly at the plate, and therefore not me. My heart speeds up. Did I say something wrong? Did I piss him off by accident? I do that a lot. And I definitely used to do that to Baz.

“What is it?” I ask.

“I don’t mean to pry,” he says carefully. “And maybe this is me still being pretty drunk. But...I saw something in your medicine cabinet.”

I squint, trying to think what could be so concerning. “Saw what?”

He fiddles with his still damp hair. It’s an old nervous habit I recognise from finals studying. “A bottle of citalopram. I’m a future psychiatrist, I know what that medication is usually for...”

My stomach drops out. I freeze with the sandwich still in my hand. “Oh,” I squeak.

“Yeah.” He leans closer, eyes round and sympathetic. “I’m sorry I looked. And...I’m sorry if I had any part in your need for it-”

“No no, Baz.” I shake my head, leaning forward as well. “You don’t have to. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s in particular, really. It’s stupid chemicals misfiring in my brain. You’re a doctor, you know that.”

“Yes, of course I know that, Snow. But I also know my incessant arsehole behaviour for seven years probably didn’t help.”

I shrug, leaning back again. “Probably. And I bet me insulting you and punching you in the face all the time didn’t help your mental health either.”

He smiles and laughs again. He looks better when he laughs. “Okay, good point.”

“Exactly. So let’s agree neither of us need to apologise. We’ll let the past be the past, move on from here.”

“So you mean a truce?”

“Yeah, I guess.” I reach out my hand. “Truce.”

Baz smiles and clasps his hand with mine. His skin is just as rough and cold as I remember it being back at school. But even after we pull apart, my skin still feels warm.

“Just so we’re even,” Baz says with his mouthful, “my favourite antidepressant was cipralex. I went off it a few months ago because it started making me too drowsy, but it worked well for years. Citalopram made me far too ill. When I first tried it, I ended up vomiting in a bloody bedpan.”

I burst out laughing. And Baz’s grin outshines the sun.

We finish our sandwiches together. Baz complains that his mouth tastes like a rubbage heap. Apparently the combination of old tequila, Tesco cheese, and marmite creates a truly awful flavour. I give him an unused toothbrush from the dentist. He goes into the bathroom and soon emerges with clean teeth and wearing my trackies. I’m back on the couch with Cherry in my lap.

“You tired?” I ask.

“Not really,” Baz replies. “Late hospital shifts have turned me into an insomniac.”

“Wanna watch some Dr. Who?”

He throws himself down next to me, long arm stretched out over the back of the couch behind me. “Sure.”

I switch to a new episode. It’s a standalone, so Baz won’t be too confused. But he still asks incessant questions. Who’s this, what’s that, how the everloving fuck can they do that and survive? No wonder he’s a doctor. He’s perfect at looking for answers, no matter how annoying he is. Eventually I have to threaten to duct tape his mouth to get him to shut up. He huffs, crosses his arms, and sinks down further.. His head ends up on my shoulder. Despite my shorter neck length and Baz’s naturally long face, his head fits perfectly in the crook of my neck. Like it was made to be there. Wait, where did that thought come from?

The credits roll, and I notice a quiet whistling noise. I turn my head to the side. Oh. Baz is asleep. His eyes are softly closed and his lips are slightly parted. I’ve seen Baz sleep before of course, but this is different. Baz had nightmares throughout our entire time at Watford. (So did I.) I don’t think he’s having one now though. There’s no thrashing or whimpers. I’ve never seen Baz look so...peaceful.

“Baz,” I whisper. He doesn’t respond at all. “Baz,” I say louder, jerking my shoulder a bit.

“Ugh,” he groans, “let me sleep in, Daphne, it’s summer.”

“I’m not your step-mum, Baz.”

He cracks one eye open. “No, you’re really not, Snow.”

“Yeah. You wanna go to bed?”

“Mm, yeah.”

“Okay.” I slowly get up, easing Baz off my shoulder. I gently lower him onto the couch. The bottom half of his face hangs off the arm. Yeah, he’s going to need a pillow. I go to my bedroom and grab a pillow and blanket. I also make a stop by the bathroom for some aspirin and make another at the kitchen for some water and a bowl, in case he’s sick. I would prefer not to clean vomit out of my carpet.

Baz is still awkwardly pressed against the sofa arm, drooling slightly. Who would’ve thought I’d see the day Baz Pitch drooled in his sleep? I wouldn’t have. Not in a million years. But apparently tonight is a time for new things.

I place the bowl, water, and aspirin on my coffee table. Slowly and carefully, I lift Baz’s head and fit a pillow under it. I drape the blanket over his annoyingly tall body. His arm hangs like a limp noodle off the side. I sigh, kneeling down to tuck it back in.

Out of nowhere, I feel long, rough fingers touching my cheek. My whole body locks up in shock. Slowly, I raise my head, and I meet Baz’s half open grey eyes and soft smile.

“Uh, Baz?” I say, not sure what else I can.

“You’re still so beautiful,” he whispers. My eyes widen and every nerve in my body is filled with...something? Fear, nerves, an absolute sense of what the fuck? I can’t tell.

“W-What?”

Baz’s hand moves lower. His thumb traces just under my bottom lip. Why does my skin feels like it’s fire? “Your face, it’s still really pretty.”

I let out a nervous chuckle. “Uh, I guess you’d know. You punched it enough.”

He laughs softly. His hand falls, pulling back under the blanket, and his eyes slip shut. “Wish I had kissed it instead.”

I don’t even have time to respond to that, because Baz is asleep in an instant, snoring quietly once again. I’m frozen in place. My jaw is slack. Baz would tell me I’m going to catch flies. Baz, who’s sleeping right in front of me, who wished he had kissed me? My brain can’t process this. I’m like a computer with an eternal blue screen. This does not compute, cannot compute, fuck fuck fuck.

There’s only one thing I can think to do.

I grab my phone, rush to my room, and close the door. Cherry is already curled up on her side. The second I’m sitting on the mattress, I click Penny’s contact.

“Hello?” Her voice immediately calms me down.

“Hi, Pen,” I say.

“Simon?! Bloody hell, isn’t it like four in the morning in London?”

I look over at my clock. “Uh, yup, just about.”

“I don’t mean to be rude, but why are calling me at four AM?”

I sigh and flop backwards. “Pen, you’re not going to believe who is sleeping in my living room right now.”

“Who? The Doctor? Boris Johnson? The Queen of England>

A laugh bubbles from my mouth. “Nah, even weirder.”

I can almost hear Penny’s face pinching together in confusion. “Who?”

“Baz Pitch.”

She gasps loudly. “What?! As in Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch? That Baz Pitch?!”

“You think there’s another Baz Pitch in existence?”

“Yeah,” she sighs, “good point. So why is your arsehole former roommate sleeping on your couch?”

I rub the bridge of my nose. It doesn’t help. I’m not sure anything can help now. “That’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

I sigh, and start spinning my insane tale. From the call to the bar to my flat, how Baz and I talked and became friendly and made a weird truce over cheese and marmite. I try to say everything quickly yet accurately. Penny barely makes a noise as I talk. I can’t tell if she’s shocked or contemplative. Probably both, honestly. I can’t blame her. The more I talk, the more completely nuts it all sounds. I’m living in a bloody sitcom.

“And then,” I say, “he held my face, said I was beautiful, and that he wished he had kissed me instead of punching me!”

“Wow,” Penny gasps. “That’s...a lot.”

“I know right? I’m so confused and I have no idea what the fuck to do!”

“Okay. What do you want to do though?”

I rub my very aching brow. “I don’t know, Pen. It’s so weird. Like, is this something he’s just realised or has Baz always felt this way?”

“Probably the second one.”

I bolt upright, brows knitted together. “Wait, really? You think so?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“But why?!”

“Well, Baz has always been very obsessed with you. He would go out of his way to be around you.”

“Yeah, to torment me,” I grumble.

Penny lets out a sigh. “Yes, he did. But as you told me, Baz said he picked on you because he couldn’t deal with his emotional issues. One of those issues certainly could have been romantic feelings for you.”

“Then why didn’t he just say something?!”

“Because he was the gay son of a conservative upper class British family, which probably wasn’t easy to deal with. Plus, his father and aunt hated the idea of scholarship students, also known as you.”

My righteous anger fizzles out like a dying campfire, shoulders slumping as I fall back against the headboard. “Oh. Yeah, that’s a good point. Still shouldn’t have been a snob and a bully.

“No he shouldn’t have. It was probably half poor coping and half trying to get your attention.”

“Like a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails?”

“I guess.”

“That’s a stupid and sexist way to handle a crush. I tell my students that all the time.”

Penny sighs. “Yeah, of course it is. But I’m pretty sure Baz knows that, at least now. He’s sorry for what he did. It seems like he’s gotten a lot better.”

“Yeah.” A smile creeps across my face without thinking. It just feels natural. “He’s gotten a lot nicer. He’s not the perfect, pretty, unfeeling arsehole I thought he was. And he’s funny, at least when he’s drunk. We had a pretty great time .”

I laugh quietly, but Penny’s is far louder. She sounds like she’s muffling her giggles. I frown a bit. “What’s so funny, Pen?”

“Oh,” she keeps giggling, “I think I’ve just realised something, and it’s hilarious.”

“Realised what?”

She takes a few deep calming breaths while my anxiety just climbs. “Simon,” she says kindly. This is the way she used to speak while explaining our complicated maths homework. “Hear me out, but I don’t think Baz is the only one who feels something.”

“Huh?”

“I think you have at least a few romantic feelings for Baz.”

“What?!” I shout far too loudly, and I worry I’m going to wake up Baz. I crouch inward, like I’m hiding, but I’m not really sure what. Baz? Penny? Myself?

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I hiss.

“Hear me out,” Penny says. “I’m saying that based on the evidence, you may have latent romantic feelings for Baz Pitch.”

“What evidence?!”

Penny lets out a low chuckle, like a super villain who’s plan has come to fruition. “Let’s see. Number one: back at Watford, you spent 99% of your time thinking about, talking about, or being with Baz. I had to put a limit on how much you were allowed to talk about Baz, remember?”

“Yeah, because he was bugging me,” I mumble.

“Number two: when you talked about Baz, it was always about how annoyingly pretty, smart, and graceful he was. You hated him, yet you had so many nice things to say.”

“Well he was perfect and it was annoying!”

“Number three: During the entire time you dated Agatha, you paid far more attention to Baz than you ever did to her.”

“T-That’s not true!” Though, looking back...fucking hell, it might actually be true.

“Number four: even though you hadn’t seen him in seven years, you dropped everything at two AM to go pick up his drunk arse from a bar.”

“It was the right thing to do!”

“Number five: you just gushed about how much you like Baz now and that he’s fun to be around. And I bet you were smiling.”

“No.” I think my cheeks are turning red.

I hear some rustling, and I think Penny is leaning forward in her chair. I can almost see her kind face in front of me. “Simon, I don’t want to push anything on you, but I also want you to really think about this. I know you hate to analyse things but it’s necessary right now. Maybe it could lead to something good.”

I tug on my hair, trying to distract myself. “I don’t know about that, Pen.”

“I know. Doesn’t even have to be romantic, maybe a good friendship. You could use more friends. And I’m not saying you have to jump his bones tomorrow.”

“Penny!” Now I’m definitely blushing.

She laughs uncontrollably, snorting every once in awhile. I cover my blushing face and groan. “Oh, I’m only joking, Si,” she says. “But I’m serious, don’t shut it down. Think about it. Baz is nice now, maybe it could work.”

“Why are you so desperate to set me up with my former enemy?”

“Because you haven’t been on a date or made new friends since first year uni. And I haven’t heard you this happy about being around someone in years.”

I hate to admit it, but she’s right. I’ve had more fun with Baz in one night than I have in ages. I enjoyed talking to him. I enjoyed laughing with him. I’m glad he’s asleep in the next room, where I can make sure he’s okay.

“You may have a point,” I say.

“Of course I do.”

I roll my eyes, just like she does. “Yeah, yeah, we’ve always known you’re smarter than me.”

“Mhm. And in my smart opinion, you need to go to bed.”

“Will do.” I flop backwards. The pillow feels heavenly on my head. “Thanks, Pen. I’ll talk to you later.”

“You better. Night, Si.”

I smile, and I hope she can hear my love and gratitude over the phone. “Night, Pen.”

The phone clicks off. I let it fall to the side. I am 0.2 seconds from passing out, even with so much still on my mind. I plug in my phone and turn on my side. I pull Cherry close to me. She curls around my hand like usual. When I close my eyes, all I see is raven hair, deep sea grey eyes, and a smile I never knew was there before.

———————————————

“Bloody fucking shit!”

I wake up with a start, clutching my sheet. Late morning sunlight is bleeding through the gap in my curtains. There’s muffled banging on the other side of my door. It’s like a very clumsy little rhino is moving through my flat. But I know exactly who it is.

I grab my glasses and slowly walk down the hall, peeking around the corner. It’s weird to sneak around my own apartment. I see a familiar long, lithe back, bent over as he struggles to get his struggles to get his oxfords on. He keeps wavering side to side like a branch in the wind.

“Good morning,” I say nonchalantly.

Baz whips around so fast he nearly topples over, stumbling to the side. He looks even more disheveled than last night, hair extremely tangled from sleeping on it wet, bruise worsening under his eyes, and bloodstained shirt buttoned wrong. He looks absolutely shocked to see me, which is odd, considering this is my flat.

“Um,” he says, shakiness in my voice, “good morning, Snow.”

“Leaving so soon?”

“Uh, well, yes, I suppose.”

I lean against the wall with my arms crossed. “So you were going to go and what? Leave me a thank you note like some bad teen movie?”

He probably thinks I don’t notice, but I see him crumple up and shove something in his back pocket. “No. I-I would’ve texted you my thanks.”

“Because that’s so much better.”

Baz looks down in shame, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. It’s just...I didn’t want to make things awkward after last night. I’m truly sorry for the way I acted and imposing on you.”

“It’s okay.” I walk forward, hands in my trackie pockets. “I know you were pretty drunk, but, what do you remember from last night?”

Baz looks up, but still doesn’t meet my eyes. “I remember, being upset, going to the bar, getting in the fight, and the bartender screaming colourful obscenities at me.” That makes him laugh a little. It still sounds so nice. “Then I called you, you came and you had glasses. We drove to your place. I had a shower. You tended to my wounds like some war nurse.”

I giggle, nodding in complete agreement. “Yeah, I definitely did do that.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Then uh, we ate sandwiches, watched Doctor Who, and I assume I fell asleep.”

“Okay.” I draw out the last syllable on purpose, making my doubt extremely clear. “That’s most of it, but you’re missing a few key parts.”

“Am I?” He’s trying to sound confident, but I know Baz, and I can hear a waver in his voice.

I start walking closer. “Mhm. You’re missing the parts where you apologized for being a prick in school, called my flat was good, liked my cat, said you drank because it was the anniversary of your mother’s horrible death, talked about your experience with antidepressants.” I’m only a few feet away from him now, looking him right in his pretty. “And, the part where you said that you wished you had kissed me back at school instead of punching me.”

With his complexion, it’s hard to tell when Baz is blushing. But I can see it. Scarlet creeps down from his cheeks to his long neck, eyes locked on me in stun.

“Oh,” he squeaks. “I see.”

“You really don’t remember all that?”

He rubs his brow. “Well, maybe, it’s just...fuzzy.”

“But was it true? Did you like me back at Watford?”

He visibly gulps, then looks at the floor again. He looks incredibly embarrassed and ashamed. “Yes,” he says, like he has to force himself to say it. “Yes, it’s true.”

I let out a long breath, half from relief, half to calm myself down. Okay. It’s true. Baz had feelings for me. All through school, all that time, Baz was pining after me from afar. And I never knew. Not a bit. But I think that was the idea.

“Alright,” I say.

Baz lifts his eyes slightly, cocking one eyebrow. “Alright? Is that all you have to say?”

I shrug high then drop my shoulders low. “I don’t know what else to say. That’s all. It changes a lot of things I assumed in school.”

“I bloody well hope so.” His voice is lighter, trying to lift the mood, trying to make this even slightly less than horribly awkward.

“So,” I say drawing out the o, “when, uh, did it start? You feeling like...that.”

If Baz’s blush could get any worse, I think it just did. He plays with his sleeves, his buttons, his hair, obviously looking for a distraction. “I realised it when I was 15. But I think, it started almost since we met.”

That hits me hard. The first year we met, I wore ratty old clothes and was essentially nonverbal. Baz saw me like that, a dirty silent little orphan kid, and he already liked me. He didn’t show it, but only because he couldn’t. He cared about me, even then. Even when so few truly did.

“Huh,” I say stupidly. “That’s a long time.”

He lets out a scoffing chuckle. “No shit, Snow.”

“That makes me feel even more sorry for being a prick to you in school.”

Baz shakes his head very quickly. “No, no, don’t apologize. I was a prick to you first. I just...” he sighs, rubbing his forehead. “In my family, I wasn’t supposed to be gay, let alone have feelings for someone they hated. I lashed out and hurt you because I was hurting. It was wrong.”

He sighs and sits down heavily on the couch. He looks so forlorn and ashamed, head hanging forward, his hair like a curtain. All the guilt seems to be pushing down on his shoulders, making him slump. Penny was right, as usual. But to hear it from Baz, to see him like this, it tugs on my heart. Like that time I caught him drunk in front of his mother’s grave when we were fifteen, or twice last night. He’s grown a lot and gotten happier, but a small part of Baz is still that sad kid, I guess.

Slowly, I walk towards him and sit down. Before I can think too much, I reach out and touch his hand. Baz’s head snaps up, completely terrified and shocked. Yet, he doesn’t pull away. One by one, I slip my fingers between his. Baz’s skin is such a strange contrast. My palm touches the smooth back of his hand, while fingers trace tiny rough ridges. It feels...really good.

“Hey,” I say quietly. “I know it’s been awhile, but what do you think about me now?”

I look him in the eye. I can see the way his lips shift, feel how his hand twitches. I wish I could hear what he’s thinking right now. He stays silent, so I decide to jump in.

“Well, let me start. I know what I think about you. I think,” I move closer, “that you’re kind, funny, smart, and still annoyingly gorgeous.” That makes his eyes widen ever so slightly. “And now I also know that you’re incredibly strong. That you struggled and mourned and came out okay. I mean, you’re a bloody doctor who’s going to help people work through their own problems. That’s amazing.”

Baz looks so shocked, probably both at my words and my coherency. I’ve gotten a lot better at speaking over the years. I’m so glad for that right now. “You really think all that, Snow?”

I smile and nod. “Yeah. I mean, I’ve always found you annoyingly amazing. Now it’s just not so annoying anymore.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Is it so hard to believe?”

Baz presses his lips together for a split second. “Honestly, yes. We hated each other for years, fought like cats and dogs. I assumed I had ruined any chance of that changing.”

“Well,” I move even closer so our thighs press together, “you didn’t. Because I like this.”

“What is this?”

“This!” I gesture wildly between us. “What we’re doing right now. I like this, I like you.”

He looks so shocked, yet there’s a twinkle of happiness too. “Like me how? As...a friend?”

And he calls me oblivious. I squeeze his hand again. “That depends. I know it’s been a long time, so have your...feelings about me gone away?”

Baz stares at me, studying my face. I just watch his eyes roam over me again and again. Then he reaches forward and delicately places his hand on my cheek, just like last night. Except it feels more purposeful. And so much better.

“No,” he says quietly, “they haven’t gone away. I don’t think they ever could.”

My body feels so light and happy and indescribably full. I’ve never felt like this before. Not with anyone. It’s hit me so suddenly, yet it feels so right. I’m grinning, I can’t stop grinning.

“Okay,” I say. “I feel the same.”

Baz’s hand falls, touching my arm. He raises a perplexed eyebrow. “Okay, but since when?”

I shrug, which makes Baz roll his eyes. “I’m not sure. All I know is that I do. That’s what really matters, right?”

He sighs. His hand moves up and down my arm. I can’t tell if he’s studying me or trying to hold on. “I suppose, yes.”

“Exactly. So why don’t we give it a shot?”

“What are you saying, Snow?”

“I’m saying I want to be your boyfriend.” Baz’s lips falls open and hand slips slightly down my arm. I hold onto him tighter. “Like, fair warning, I’m not a great boyfriend. I forget things, I’m super clumsy, and I haven’t dated anyone seriously since Agatha, so my experience is limited. But I like you. And I’m not asking for something serious right now, I just want to give this a try. Do you maybe want to?”

Baz’s face is such strange, confusing mixture. His brows are tense and pulled together. They scream worry and doubt. His thin beautiful lips hang open is absolute disbelief. But his eyes, a mix of dark blue and dark green, are filled to the brim with hope.

“I’m a doctor,” he blurts out.

“Um, yeah, I know,” I reply, trying not to laugh.

He shakes his head violently. “No, you don’t understand. I’m a medical resident. I’m at the hospital almost every day. I have barely any free time, and if I do I use it to sleep. And I don’t have much experience either. I’ve had two semi serious relationships that both ended in flames. I’m terrible at everything relationship related, probably even more than you, Snow.”

Baz looks so frantic and scared, but he’s hanging on to my hand. In spite of harsh realities, he doesn’t want to let go. I think he’s expecting me to admit defeat and walk away. But what he doesn’t seem to get, is that I don’t want to let go either.

I move closer, and cup his face this time. Baz instinctively leans into it. “You called me Simon before.”

He lets out a bursting laugh, sudden and unwanted. He immediately calms down, but there’s a little smile there. “Really? That’s what you care about?”

“Yeah. Because I like hearing you say it, and I like this. So,” I squeeze his hand again, “I want to try, no matter the risks. We’ll just deal with the rest later.”

He gives me a doubtful expression. “That’s your solution? Put off thinking about the problems we may face?”

“Yup. Because I want this, you want this, and that’s all that matters.”

“I guess...”

Stupid bastard still overthinks everything. I don’t want his mind far away, I want it right here with me. I brush my thumb over the soft skin of his cheek. “Plus, I’d rather focus on other things right now.”

“Oh? What things?”

“Well, more a question.” I deliberately move my hand lower, tracing under his bottom lip. “You said you wished you had kissed me when we were in school.”

He gulps. I watch his Adam’s apple bob slowly. “Yes, I did.”

“So, do you still want to kiss me?”

His eyes flick down, just for a moment. I can feel his hot breath on my face. “Yes.”

I smile, leaning close so our noses brush. “Then do it.”

Baz doesn’t ask for anymore assurance. He just leans forward, pressing his mouth to mine. And my mind completely implodes.

His lips are colder than Agatha’s, than anyone’s really. It’s like kissing a soft autumn breeze. Just chilly enough to send shivers over your skin. Yet when he takes my bottom lip between his teeth, I melt completely, leaning closer and wrapping my arms around his neck. He clutches my sides, hanging on with a death grip. Like he never wants to let me go. (I wouldn’t mind that.) It’s an awkward position, but I couldn’t care less anymore. I run my hand through his hair. It’s soft and slips through my fingers, just like I thought it would. I clench my fist and push his face into mine. I more feel him groan than hear it. He bunches my shirt in his own fists. I like him here, under my hands, not off being sad or drunk, where I know he’s okay. I’ve got you know, Baz, I’m not letting go.

From that first press of our lips, I know I want this. Baz feels perfect and wonderful. I want to kiss him forever. It’s strange, to have something you never knew you wanted before, and suddenly need to hang onto it forever.

We both pull apart at relatively the same time, flushed and out of breath. Baz’s eyes flutter open. His pupils are blown incredibly huge, and his lips are swollen and pink. I think mine are too, at least it feels like they are. I’ve never felt so elated from just one kiss. I’m sure I never will again.

“Wow,” I breathe out.

Baz lets out a breathy laugh, so quiet and sweet. “Very eloquent.”

I chuckle too, twisting a strand of his hair. “Yeah, well, that’s all I can manage right now. I think you broke my brain.”

“Don’t stroke my ego too much, Snow. I’ll get a big head.”

“You mean a bigger one?”

Baz glares, but when I flash one grin, his entire face melts. My heart melts too. It’s in a goddamn puddle on the floor forever.

Baz presses one hand to his temple, eyes squinting shut. “Bloody hell, all the drinking and excitement is too much for my head.”

“Did you take the aspirin I left?”

“Yes, but apparently that only does so much. I want coffee.”

“I’ve got some. Probably not very fancy, but it’s good enough. That alright?”

He flashes a lopsided grin. It’s incredibly sweet, making me smile in return. “That would be wonderful, Simon.”

God, I want to hear him say my name like that a thousand times.

We reluctantly untangle ourselves, but our hands stay linked. I lead Baz to my tiny dining room table. He sits on the far side, facing the open space of my kitchenette. My hand drags across his as we reluctantly let go. I walk into the room and flip on my ancient coffee machine.

“How do you take your coffee?” I say over my shoulder. “Black?”

“Actually, I like a lot of cream and sugar.”

I laugh loudly and smile at him. “Still have a sweet tooth, huh?”

“Absolutely.”

“Of course. I still remember how you would steal my mint aeros.”

“You have no proof of that, Snow,” he singsongs.

His voice is light and joking. I look over my shoulder, and see his soft smile. I want to see that smile all the time. I want to find out every little happy expression he has, the ones I never got to see when we were kids.

“I’ll find some,” I reply..

“It’ll take a lot of coaxing.”

I lean against the counter, looking at him. Really looking at him. Baz Pitch, the former arsehole bully, now the mostly well adjusted altruistic doctor, still someone who can occupy most of my thoughts. This is all new yet so familiar.

“Good thing we’ve got time,” I say.

Baz leans his cheek on his palm. From his calm, happy expression, I know he agrees. We’ve got time to not just catch up, but start something strange and beautiful and new.

And I’ve never been so excited in my life.

———————————————

AN: Is this a bit unrealistic? Yes. Is this super adorable? Also yes. Hope you guys thought the same. I def enjoy writing drunk Baz and switching it up so Simon has glasses this time. And I like Simon's total obliviousness to his own feelings. He's a dumb romantic little shit lol. Thanks for reading, see y'all next time :D

PS: XOYO is a real bar. Hopefully they don't have to deal with drunk traumatized psychiatry residents too much lol.

#carry on #snowbaz #simon snow #baz pitch #penelope bunce #normal au #reunion #enemies to friends to lovers #getting together #mysnowbazfic

[frostygar]

The Flash S5 Ep5 Thoughts

- If I were Nora I wouldn’t come either, you betrayed her heart and her trust.

- Nora may have almost hurt a couple BUT I love sassy Nora who rebels against her parents it’s really refreshing for someone to actually not like Iris. And she caught the bad guy so WOO NORA MY BABY IS DOING JUST FINE

- So the writers finally wrote someone to tell Iris how she acts “condescending, I know better than you” and they most certainly do not have Iris change, AND Nora ends up forgiving her? Wack. Unrealistic. Boring. Change things up smh

- “You know, Nora, I wish you would try to understand who your mom is today.” UMMM BITCH SHE’S THE SAME DIDN’T YOU JUST HEAR HER???? Also why don’t YOU try to understand your daughter’s actions under years of neglect from your step sister. (also I watch Riverdale and that show pisses me off but NOTHING has ever pissed me off this much omggggggg)

- Cisco is back! YASSS WE HAVE MISSED THE VIBES 🥺🥺🥺

- OMG PROFESSOR STEIN!!! Small crossover we love to see it, and we also love to see Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship! Even if it hurt Cisco ugh a crying atm

- UMMMMM EW. EW WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WHY IS THAT CREEPIER THAN ANY RECENT HORROR MOVIE please…….. I much prefer Elongated Man… aLSOO ALSO how did they not hear that weirdo fucking pounding his fucking hands into the glass I feel nauseous. 

- I know I wanted journalist!Iris again but like because she’s being even worse than she normally his (and Barry) I literally just want her to get the fuck off the screen. I even took a small break and watched something else and I can still feel the anger inside of my body… like I just can’t even look at Iris OR Barry. That’s just sad… the worst sibling duo since Bughead 

- Barry working with your journalist sister-wife is probably not professional but no one would ever point that out so… rip to me wanting to watch shows that down ruin everything over a disgusting

- Schrap… give us more of these cool words to use I love them. ALSO NORA AND CECILE BONDING WE LOVE TO SEE IT

- Oh Cecile not you too… if Iris doesn’t respect her own daughter she’s not owed respect back. Besides, since when the FUCK is it “disrespectful” to say that your mom nags at you… all mom’s do it. Nora is raving about her mom wanting to control her and is talking abut her nagging at her over everything and Cecile is like "this is the west household and that means that all west's are respected" like girl you have been civil and understanding to everyone and everything this whole time and suddenly its out the window??? I understand that in black households it’s a big thing to respect your parents, especially a mother who raised a child alone, but this is some pedestal bullshit and highkey right now I want basically everyone except Nora, Caitlin, Cisco, Ralph, and even Sherloque, fucking dead for the rest of the episode………. wow I never thought a show could literally make me this mad.

- That scene afterwards was really weird. Like in my family we can never really move on like that, but also how would Nora get all of that to fit together and stay for like five seconds and why wouldn’t Cecile give Nora the screws like—

- Cisco vibing the chalkboard and knowing it’ll hurt him and he’s not going to tell anyone I’m: sad.

- “Did I scare him away?” CAITLIN! 😭🥺 Also didn’t he MAKE Killer Frost or am I just dumb and slow lol

- This Meta is so gross yet so cool asdfghjkl EW THAT’S GONNA GIVE ME NIGHTMARES, THE META’S MASK HEAD THING BEING IN SIGHT AND THEN DISAPPEARING AFTER SAYING “FLASH” EWWW although funnily enough I’d rather watch that than Iris and Barry so um

- How is The Flash able to make the most disgusting, creepiest thing than like any horror movie

- Barry trying to force date shit with Iris is so awkward and weird and forced… I hate it a lot

- This woman not being impressed with Iris or Barry is giving me life … ARE THEY REALLY NOT REALIZING THAT IRIS IS BASICALLY THAT WOMAN IN THE FUTURE WITH NORA??? “She’s so cold, she gave her son what she thought he needed but was wrong” like… how dense are these fuckers???

- Why is Barry acting like this is his last night with Iris? Like I can wish but why is this forced domesticity that makes me want to rip out my eyes happening rn? EW I WAS LOOKING DOWN AT MY LAPTOP AND I ALMOST DIDN’T SEE THE META IN THE CORNER I’M SO DISGUSTED.

- Barry,,, she is exactly like that woman fuck off there’s a time to be supportive to both women and rn it’s not to Iris. GOD NOT IRIS ACTUALLY REALIZING IT OVER BARRY??? The fanservice and ruining Barry’s character is real and it HURTS

- Why is the meta looking at Barry and Iris as if he knows who they are… he only knows the flash

- Caitlin realizing he was hurting himself to help her I— “I could bring my value to the team” BUT YOU DID WAY BEFORE YOUR POWERS. You’re smart, you know science, you help The Flash help people. Sure the powers are a big bonus but he brought so much value even before :( If anything ever happens to Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship, ever, I will kill everyone and then myself

- I know this show is about The Flash and rn the season is about Nora but like,,, constantly talking about her and having westallen scenes is just so… overdone. They talked about it outside of the gala, then it showed Cisco and Caitlin for a few minutes and then they’re back. Give it some rest Jesus

- Every time someone says that Iris probably dampens Nora’s powers to keep her safe literally feels more like “the more I say it the more true it has to be” like… shut the fuck up can someone (Caitlin or Cisco) PLEASE slap some fucking sense into this boy??? Blindly following after your sister-wife isn’t healthy and it’s dumb as fuck. See, kids, this is why you don’t date and marry (and eventually have a kid with) your step sister

- Now Iris is being the smart one…………………. this is the weirdest, forced bullshit that I’m more used to from Riverdale.

- I’m glad there’s more cute bonding between Cecile and Nora. But what kind of kids would be mean to someone who lost their parents? That’s a tv thing yes but irl??? I’ve never heard or seen it and it just… cannot be true. Also how does Cecile know about a story from when Barry was ten?? Like how would this come up with her and Joe for him to tell her? Really that story was… westallen? And the fanservice grows… That was an awful way to show Nora that Iris sometimes can be a good person when she was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. God why does NO ONE get that Nora was raised by an awful mom and she already has all of these bad feelings for her? Why are they trying so desperately hard to downplay Nora’s rightful feelings? Oh, right, because Iris isn’t supposed to be able to do wrong… God why do we watch the CW’s awful shows that pander to toxic/gross couples that are catered to while the better main side cast is tossed to the side?

- That was a weird (and creepy) scene with a random face call by Iris lol

- OH GOOD RALPH IS BACK BECAUSE APPARENTLY EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM LOL. HE’S FUCKING SPIDERMAN-ING HISMELF OMG??? Also why does Iris have to come along every single fucking time?? Also also how didi the meta know whoo to capture like all he saw was The Flash

- MAKE THIS META INTO AN ACTUAL HORROR MOVIE BC THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING SCARY. LIKE SOME PEOPLE SOMEHOW SAY THAT THE BABADOOK IS SCARY (when it’s boring and not scary at all smh) BUT THIS IS SO FUCKED

- YES META DUDE HURT IRIS PLEASE WE. BEG OF YOU 

- Did Iris just fucking jump… for Barry… when Ralph should be the one getting him? The pandering I—

- EW RALPH… ATE HIM?

- The way that Iris is suddenly called a badass… the fanservice isn’t even trying to be hidden

- RAGDOLL WHAT A GREAT META NAME

- Don’t tell me that after a couple of stories of Iris as a kid suddenly makes Nora forget all the times future Iris treated her like trash and thinks it’s okay because she has the ability to be nice (but never is)???

- Future Iris made her “accomplishments” off limits??? What kind of dumbassery—

- They’re gonna make the one character who actually called Iris out forgive her after five episodes??? Jesus we couldn’t have one thing, one character who doesn’t like Iris could we?

- I’ve never seen any books or movies about Nancy Drew (but I will give the new one a try because I’ve heard it’s good) but when the awful detective female leads (basically just Betty and Iris) call themselves Nancy Drew makes me automatically hate Nancy Drew. If Nancy is a selfish, annoying, whiny bitch who can’t do no wrong and butts into people’s lives then she sure is like Iris and Betty

- This family bonding is just so fucking FORCED. Poor westallens having their scenes have to shoved in and the quality ruined. I’d feel bad if I wasn’t called racist for how they write Iris (and Barry together). I already go through this shit on Riverdale I’m basically just dead inside lol

- WAIT SO AFTER ALL THIS TIME NOW YOU THINK ABOUT USING DEVOE’S SATELLITES??? WHY WOULDN’T THAT BE THE FIIRST THING AFTER SALLY WAS DESTROYED?

- Cisco understanding that Caitlin is afraid and not ready yet 🥺🥺

- So that episode was fucking AWFUL. The only good thing about it was Cisco and Caitlin’s friendship and the cool yet horrifying meta. Everything else was just… the fucking worst. I’d literally rather watch disgusting Bughead step sibling kissing scenes than people try to downplay Nora’s feelings all because “no one can hate Iris” uwu

- I’m not usually this… hateful. But something about that and (typically older) people using the “you HAVE to respect your elders!” mindset when they don’t respect the people younger than them. Like, if my older sister doesn’t respect me, why the fuck would I respect her? Respect isn’t given, it’s earned.

#The Flash #Barry Allen #Caitlin Snow #Cisco Ramon #anti-westallen #Nora Allen #anti-Iris West #Ralph Dibny

[kimtaetae16ii]

Part 2 (a/n : sorry late haha! Idk how to make the link in one post so tht it'll make u easier to read)

[Monday : 7:45 a.m.]

Hollyyy cowww!  You were still sleepy at that time because for actually you only got 2½ hours of sleep.

In that morning, all of your family had warmth breakfast to fill the stomach for long journey. It took 3 hours to go back to your home.

The fried chicken in the middle of dining table looked so good but you were still sleepy. The crunchy outside really killed you. Without being hesitated, you took the friend hot crunchy drumsticks then bite it.

"Hmph.. So delicious! " eyes closed as you were trying to feel the moment.

After having one drumstick, you took wings part after that. After that, you took the breast part.

"Miss Park, you want more? " the maid asked you.

"Sure!  I would love to eat more. You such great chef." The maid just smiled while you put half strawberry AND chocolate jam on the bread and served into your mouth.

"Jeannie, can you please behave yourself?" Mama suddenly appeared.

"Just let her eat. You serve less food to your children!

Eat some more, honey~"

Nana push the bowl of mushroom soup to you.

"Hehe I eat too much don't I? Hahahahahaha" you laughed so hard while being watched by your parents.

Your behavior changed lately.

"Here your fried chicken, miss Park." The maids served you several parts of chicken for you.

"Wahh!  Thank youuu. Get me cheese sauce, please."

I think having second round will make me full until tomorrow.

Hopefully.

"15 minutes more." Mama said while looked into her watch.

"Chill, Ma. Nana is feeding me right now. Hehe" you teared the chicken wings looked at your nana who was smiling then you continue to eat until all of the foods in the table clear and clean.

[Monday 17:15 p.m.]

You went to jog with your little sister and your mother at the nearest parks in your resident area.

The air is so fresh as the goverment would like to make sure the resident will always get clean environment.

After long walks, we sat at the branch under the shady trees. The day also being windy. The breeze that touched your skin was so ease.

"Jeannie, I have something to say." Your mother speak up.

"What?"

"About your Nana, please assured her saying that you would stay at home instead of her house.

Second, I would feel honoured if you would continue her business it just that, you're still young. You're 18. So, I don't allow you to do that.

Third, I arranged you to enter the Harvard."

You were shocked plus surprise at her last words. Your heart broke into million pieces.

"Ma! I do no want to go that far. Why don't you ask me and tell me about that!?"

"I'm doing this for your future."

Your mother professionally answer you while you were burning inside.

"My future?? Ma, this isn't correct. You don't think about my emotion! I can't go that far because I cannot deal with my emotion! I'm scared of getting bullied." Your tears came out in your eyes.

"You will not getting bullied because your uncle and aunt are teaching there." She still assured you to say yes on her 'arrangement' for your future.

"Suck with what they did there, Ma! It's not 100% guaranteed I would be save there!

No means no.

I'm going home!"

You stand and just straight away going home. No turning to see what happened at the backside. You just cannot deal with tour emotion also in the same time to understand what is your mother's purpose on doing that. That ain't fair for you.

Jane walked to your mother then her small hands in your mother's hands.

"Ma, are you crying?" She saw your mother was facing down. Then, she like wipe something from her eyes.

"No, I'm not crying. The wind brought small dust into my eyes." She smile to Jane.

"Okayy."

"Let's have another walk then we're going home."

"But I want udon at the family mart! " she pouted cutely.

Your mother laughed and buy her attention.

"Okay, we will go to family mart after this." Then they went to walk for another round.

It just that

You had no idea from what your mother told you.

You scared.

Your unknown relationship would broke just like that just because you've been sent to America to further your study.

You scared Haechan would be sad.

Of course your mother would be sad more when you go against her.

You were still young to understand what is the best for you to deal with the cruel world now. It cannot be deal anymore. Cruel forever would be cruel.

_________________________________________

[Friday, 11:00 p.m.]

"Jeannie, we will go to Japan for 3 days only. We bring Jane with us. You just take care with yourself." Your mother said while kissed on the top of your head.

You didn't know how to react.

"Okay. But, buy me bunch of chocolates." You smile a little then they got into the car.

You wave your hands in the air as the car already exit from your house area.

I don't fucking mind for being left alone unless they will buy me something as the return.

That's the concept. It just, you want to eat or get any things from the other country as the collection and for gaining your experience.

You went into your house. Then got into the TV room to watch some horror movies.

But before that, you went into the kitchen to grab some foods as you were being hungry so bad.

You texted Haechan to come over to your house as your parents were not at home for three days.

Babe, would you come over here? Sleep with me?

I was left alone.

Sent at 11:25 p.m.

Not for long second you received message.

Oww, sweetheart. I can't as my parents still awake. How about you come over here?

I've been miss you so bad.

Sent at 11:26 p.m.

You pouted.

Lemme think.

Okay then.

Sent at 1:27 p.m.

You put it back into the cabinet but only Oreo chocolate bars of Hershey you bring along.

-

[11:15 p.m.]

You texted him that you already be at the main door of that house. His house is very huge.

Then, the door being opened and made your heart fluttered as you saw his cute face.

Both of you hugged each other then, you pecked his lips.

"You made it." He said with the giggles came after it.

"Yeah~" I said then he put his hands around my waist and heading to his bedroom.

After we just get in there, he threw me onto his bed then, he crawled the bed to be on top of me. "Kyaa~ Lee Donghyuck, what are you doing ?" You tried to push him away. At that moment, everything seems slow down. He came near your little by little then, you guys lips collided znd the passion BOOM !

you never felt that kind of feelings, that kind of experience before that make you felt satisfied with it. His hips was between your legs at that moment and made you guys felt want to feel each other but Haechan is smart enough to protect his princess and the queen will be.

He knew the limit so he was the one who broke the kiss and kiss the top of your head.

"Done, sweetheart. Let's watch a movie then we'll cuddle then we'll go to sleep okay."

"okay, "

Then, he took out his 13inch-MacBook Air. He tapped on Netflix in his laptop then there it served.

He searched for romantic miviebthen you saw the 3rd season of fifty shades. You suggested him to click on it.

"Are you sure about this, sweetheart?"

You smiled in shyness and nodded my head. "I just want to watch it with you."

He giggle at the way you were being cute.

"Okay then."

The movie begin.

At beginning.

There's nothing such things happened yet so like you guys admired them as being such lovely couple.

Climax

Then there's happened. The way Mr.Grey lifted, spanked Anna's butt and so on make you felt turned on.

The way Mr.Gray put the balls in her pussy and told her to stay calm during the party make you already felt wet because you liked feel how the balls got into your hole.

And they got married was the great things for you cus you liked it so much and what happened after that.

You could not stay calm at all. Haechan felt your hands squeezed his arm that you hugged. He knew you wanted that so bad.

Ending

Anna got into planned accident by her husband's enemy and that what make your heart throbbed.

After she awoke, and everything went well. They got a son also Anna is pregnant for their second child was the satisfied things that all the fans of shades darker wanted.

"Finally it met its end." You did long sighed as you just felt tired. Yeah like be with gadget for long time can make your body being weak. That's why people said do not use the gadget for more than four hours.

You guys were making the bed to get comfortable condition and about to sleep while cuddling with each other.

"Babe" he snapped out of something after you called him.

"Yeah, sweetheart" he faced you and wrapped his arm around your waist.

"What is in cuddle?" You looked into his eyes.

He lifted his one eyebrow meant that he didn't get what you want to convey it.

"I mean, what people do when they are cuddling. When ppl say cuddling, I will automatically thinking that they are tickling each other. So like, yeah?  It is?"

He hummed for a seconds.

"Yeah, that's correct. Why?" while brushing yoir hair to the back.

"Nothing. Also like, when i watch The Babadook with Angela and Teressa and Dahlia, the mother been using some vibrate thing. What is that?"

You kept asking him because you were still wondering what it is.

He gulped before to speak.

"That's vibrator. You can search it on Google." he said playing with your smooth back.

You turned on your phone then went to safari and searched for it. You surprised and oo-ed so big.

"Oh my it's disgustin!"

"It is?" He asked you back. While without you knowing the close the distant between you two. You can felt his hips touching your hips too.

"It is. I would never not to have that. Such disgusting things."

"Sweetheart, look at me." The moment you put your phone down, his nose met yours.

"Watching such movies also disgusting. So what about we try it out and feel it's gonna felt." He said in such low-romantic voice. The husky voice.

"Try what?" You cupped his cheeks.

"Let me show you."

And that night, you guys had shared everything related to your body. Your body connected to him. And also that's the new experience that you got.

His hot skin touch yours. His body's scent would never make you disappoint. You gave your everything to him.

#haechan #nct 127 #nct angst #nct au #nct fanfiction #nct fanfic #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream donghyuck #nct dream #donghyuck angst #donghyuck imagines #lee donghyuck #donghyuck blurbs #donghyuck scenarios #haechan au #lee haechan #donghyuck x reader #donghyuck au #nct donghyuck #nct imagines

[prettysubpenny]

Not a homophobe or gay icon

You know, not all of us considered Pennywise or Babadook gay icons, not all of us considered Pennydook anything other than a joke. It was a damn joke to me, one that didn’t even carry far, though some may have taken it too seriously. I thought it was harmless, cuz you’d have to be dumb to seriously consider these horror villains gay icons when they literally do nothing to prove that they are. I am a slash fan, and it always felt like a poke at how people think slash fans make every character gay. I am a slasher, so I enjoyed Pennydook, as I also love horror, same reason I like Two Cents. That’s simply all, I never believed they were gay icons. It was a really dumb thing, but I didn’t see it as horrible or problematic. But the antis, the people who don't like that anyone merely likes Pennywise, especially if they want to fuck him, decided to remind us that Pennywise kills a gay man in the book as a reason why we shouldn't like him. And with the gay basher scene in Chapter Two, we are again being reminded of that. This is something they use against us. That’s why I don’t like it being used now. And yes, I’m going to use the word ‘antis’ for the people who don’t like people like me. I don’t think I’m superior because I want to fuck a fictional horror villain, as I once heard for using 'anti’ or 'normie’. They're not superior either because they don't want to fuck a fictional horror villain. No one is superior here.

I wish they hadn’t included the Adrian scene in IT Chapter Two. I understand why Stephen King wrote it. I get it. This is horror and he wanted to express how horrible it was, and the movie did that. The scene was uneasy and terrifying- but that wasn’t because of Pennywise. And I’m not talking about the scene in the book, but in the movie here. People are what’s terrifying about this scene, the people who make the decision to beat up Adrian and his boyfriend and dump Adrian off the bridge simply because they don’t like or accept that they’re gay. Pennywise did not even have to instigate this, he did not have to send homophobes after Adrian. The homophobes assaulted a gay couple of their own free will, because they wanted to, because of their hatred and ignorance. Pennywise just picked up the scraps. He ate Adrian because the poor guy was an easy meal, he was there already scared and beaten up, Pennywise was just hungry. But I still wish they’d left it out. The scene is used so Pennywise can be seen and word can get out so the Losers would know Pennywise was awake and come back to Derry. They could have done that another way without Pennywise eating Adrian.

I hated the scene as someone who despises homophobia. When Adrian kissed his boyfriend, people in the theater said “ew, gross” and I wasn’t the only one to report this experience, which breaks my heart. I was afraid these same assholes would applaud the beating that the homophobes in the movie gave Adrian and his boyfriend, and then cheer when Pennywise takes a bite out of Adrian, but thankfully, they did not. But imagine if they had cheered that.

I didn’t want the scene, because people would misinterpret it and they have. The New Pennywise became popular and there is a ton of merchandise out there right now for him because of the movie and the Halloween season. They've wanted to make money off this character, so making him seem homophobic isn't a good idea. Sure, some of us don't see him as homophobic. But people on here have already accepted him as homophobic as a reason that no one should like him, horror villain or not. This new Pennywise should not have been portrayed in any way that fans could interpret as homophobic. I know the scene is in the book, I understand why King wrote it, but it should've been left out of the movie that Penny eats the guy. There's too much awful shit in real life right now with bigotry. I'm solidly against bigotry, but if I like a character who's seen as even a little biogted, I'm saying it's okay, right? I know it's silly, we like him regardless of the fact that he eats people, especially children, but make him bigoted and you've went too far, but that's how it feels. It shouldn't matter if the killer clown monster who eats kids is homophobic or not, but it does.

A while ago, we were argued that Pennywise molests children and we shouldn't like him for this reason. This isn't true in any canon, for the book, the 90's one, or the remake. But antis used this argument. If they had made Pennywise an outright child molester in the remake, that wouldn’t have done well, I don't think. I wouldn't have liked him if they did that, maybe it's still silly, but that's how I feel. Take Freddy Krueger, he was never portrayed as a child molester in the original Robert Englund Nightmares. Once in part five The Dream Child he is called a child molester, but he never was. Wes Craven himself thought that would have been too awful. It would have been too far and Freddy may not have been as popular. The 2010 remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street does make Freddy a child molester, and I hated that they done that, I didn't like that Freddy and I still don't. I hate that remake, so I was glad they didn’t do this with Pennywise and just let his remake be awesome. I know it's strange, they can get away with killing people, but add in molesting children or bigotry and you've went too far. They're still villains, but not marketable villains. But Freddy and Pennywise can still be villains without crossing lines. Shit, Jason Vorheess kills anyone, he doesn’t care who’s gay or straight or what their color or gender is or about their political beliefs.

Pennywise also gets considered homophobic for killing Eddie, since it’s confirmed that at least Richie is gay and in love with Eddie. And since yeah, Pennywise taunts Richie with knowing his secret. Pennywise taunts adult him with knowing and outing him, but he doesn’t out Richie. Pennywise could have outed kid Richie to fucking Henry Bowers in the arcade. Point is, Freddy, Jason, Michael, etc have all killed poc, and have most likely killed gay people. They don’t really give a shit, everyone is fair game.

I’m fine with it, as I know it’s horror and I do not see Pennywise as homophobic, like I do not see him as a gay icon either. I see him as indifferent. I see him as a predator who doesn’t fucking care, he’ll use whatever he can to scare his victims so he can eat. He could’ve just as well went after the homophobes, and I’d been happier, but I still wouldn’t have saw him as a sudden gay icon.

I'd also like to clarify that the whole wanting to fuck Pennywise thing is also just a joke to me. It's not serious. Come on, this character isn't real. He's fictional. There is no way in the world I actually could fuck this character outside of someone dressing up for me and roleplaying. It's fantasy. I'm not delusional, I know it's not real or possible. I've said this many times, and once someone posted saying "oh, now they're mad that they can't fuck Pennywise cuz he's fictional." This isn't true, I'm not mad that I can't fuck Pennywise cuz he's fictional, that's stupid. This is pretend.

These opinions are my own, this is how I feel. And if you like this character, like him. Some people aren't gonna like that, but boo-fucking-whoo. They wanted Pennywise to be seen as a child molester to justify their bullying of people who like him. They want him to be homophobic for the same reasons.

[timeisacephalopod]

Ironbat

Just a little Bruce Wayne/ Tony Stark thing because I felt like it lol. (Also Fun Fact about this: Bruce and Tony accidentally end up with like 6 kids in 2 years because they keep bringing home strays though, in Tony’s slight defense, Peter still has May so he’s only half adopted). Also ignore the hella uncreative name of this D:

Natasha considers Tony for a long moment and its fucking creepy, she doesn’t even blink. It probably doesn’t help that when she first came to America she told him if anyone smiled as much as Americans in Russia she’d punch them in the face but since everyone here does it she keeps that urge to herself. Tony honestly thought smiling was polite but okay.

“What’s he like?” she asks finally.

Oh, she wants to know about Bruce of not the Banner variety. Because they all know what Banner is like. He sighs and Rhodey’s soul dies, Tony sees it, because he knows Tony well enough to know he’s going to say something stupid. “I’m going to give a description and I need you all not to laugh or judge him, okay?” Because Bruce is sweet, and generous, and yeah he’s so dramatic he makes Tony look like an unseasoned chicken breast in comparison but he’s a great guy. He shouldn’t be judged for his dramatics. They don’t judge Tony for his dramatics.

Actually Stephen told him last week that his cars were ostentatious and if Stephen is talking about Tony’s cars being ostentatious they really must be something.

“He’s a damn furry, isn’t he?” Rhodey says and Tony resents that. Mostly because he wonders if the Batman thing constitutes as being a furry but he doesn’t think so. It is, as far as he knows, just a LARPing thing and its fucking hilarious because no one knows its Bruce Wayne under that dramatic ass cape.

“No he isn’t a furry, T’Challa is a furry,” he throws out there just to make Rhodey cringe. Sam and Rhodey basically worshiped the guy only to find out the dude dresses up like a panther on the regular.

“That is a religious thing, it’s exempt,” Sam says, throwing out his shitty rationalization that they all know is fake. 

Tony rolls his eyes, “sure, bud. Anyways, Bruce. Don’t judge him okay, he’s a great guy,” he starts but Rhodey cuts him off.

“If you need to preface this with so much ‘don’t judge him’ he probably sucks,” he points out.

Pepper frowns, “we preface Tony with a lot more than this,” she says.

Tony is offended, truly. “Okay you know what, Bruce is the kind of guy who would say ‘hello darkness my old friend’ unironically and yeah that’s needlessly dramatic but we’re all needlessly dramatic here so no one should judge him for it,” he tells them all.

They all start laughing immediately like a bunch of twats. “What the hell, Stark?” Bucky asks and Tony squints at him.

“You texted everyone in our group chat ‘I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory’ when your cat stole your garlic bread. Rhodey, you drove a whole ass tank into a military bunker as a fuck you to your superiors. Stephen had that weird ‘sorcerer supreme’ phase and forced us all to call his cape a cloak. Natasha got memes banned in Russia and North Korea. Steve has told half the members of congress to fuck off to their faces and Sam made an AI he named Redwing because Bucky refused to let him get a falcon. Not a single one of you have a place to judge Bruce,” he tells them.

They all look properly shamed except Pepper, who grins. “I am not needlessly dramatic like the rest of you so I have all the right in the world to judge,” she tells them and Tony snorts.

“Oh hell no you do not. You’ve decided you hate fellow CEOs so much that you refuse to address them, only their wives. You once told Justin Hammer that you would rather drink paint thinner than spend another second with him. You punched Aldrich Killian into a pool because he made me uncomfortable. You once told a reporter that people fear you because you have the energy of a Lovecraftian monster. You are not exempt,” he tells her.

Sam laughs, “I remember the Lovecraft thing. You ended up being a lesbian meme for awhile after that,” he says.

Tony remembers that too, it had been around when the Babadook was a gay meme. Monsters were a thing that week.

“Is Bruce seriously that dramatic? I thought he mostly read to kids and whatever,” Rhodey says and yeah, he does that too. And a lot of charity work in orphanages. It’d been how they met- sometimes when Tony is sad he goes to hospitals and holds babies and Bruce happened o be donating money to that particular hospital and found him crying over a small premie that was so sweet and precious. They hit it off pretty easily but yes, Bruce is so dramatic he may give Stephen a run for his money.

“Yeah, he is one hundred percent that dramatic. You’ll find out,” he says. Granted most of Bruce’s dramatics went to his Batman character- Tony struggled not to laugh out loud when he heard Bruce unironically say ‘I am the night’ but he’s dramatic elsewhere too.

“Find out what?” Bruce asks, coming up behind them, smiling. Tony has never had a thing for classic Hollywood hot- too fifties for his tastes, but Bruce makes it feel different. Maybe its because nothing about him aside from his classic looks remind Tony of the past or maybe its something else, he doesn’t know.

“Holy Christ, are you even in there anymore?” Bucky asks, jabbing him in the side with his finger. Tony smacks his hand away after jumping a little.

“Yes, now keep your fingers away from me,” he tells him. “We were talking about you being dramatic,” he tells Bruce for reference.

Bruce’s eyebrows draw together, “I’m dramatic?” he asks. “Don’t you have a friend who insisted you called him ‘sorcerer supreme’?” he asks.

Right, Tony forgot about that too. “Yeah, Stephen got a little in character and none of us knew what the character was for but he’s mostly okay now, he’s chilled out a little. Come sit,” he says, shooing at Bucky to get out of the spot beside Tony. Bruce tries to move towards the only empty seat that is, for some damn reason, beside Sam but Tony pulls him back and continues to pester Bucky to go sit beside his damn boyfriend.

When he discovers they’re currently in the middle of an argument he’s not surprised, he’s watched the two of them get into it over Steve’s cat that died when he was ten of all things, but he’s damn annoyed to discover that this particular fight is about Sam not finding bats cute. Bruce lets out a small shiver and Tony holds onto him a little tighter, knowing about his fear of bats.

Honestly that only makes Batman that much more dramatic because Bruce fucking dresses up as his worst fear. Jesus, he really does have a talent for finding people who are so dramatic they could blend into a comic book easily. Bucky moves his ass finally and Bruce sits next to him and looks around. He pinpoints Rhodey as the most important at the table easily and Tony will never understand how he does that. It takes him ten seconds flat to find the person at the top of any food chain and he can figure out how to exploit them in another ten seconds. Its actually useful in business and Tony is surprised that Bruce’s success comes from reading people so well. But then Bruce thought he could do that too and had been surprised that Tony was just following math no one else saw. Pepper can do it now too so that’s neat, usually he can’t teach for shit.

“Tony has told me about your military career, you recently got promoted, didn’t you?” Bruce asks and Rhodey leans into it easily, going off on a tangent about his recent promotion and how he got it. Bruce smiles and listens easily, asking all the right questions because he’s freakishly good at people if they weren’t in a relationship with him. If they were, well, Alfred told Tony he has a fear of being close to people thanks to that time his parents got shot right in front of him as a kid. Tony thinks he deals with it well, or at least well enough that Alfred gives him advice and he’s seen how protective the old man is of Bruce. He’d chase Tony out of the mansion without a second thought if he thought he was a bad choice on Bruce’s behalf.

Natasha watches Bruce’s exchanges keenly because she’s as good at people as he is but when he gets to addressing her- right after congratulating Pepper on her recent multimillion dollar deal that no one else thought was a good idea but Bruce did for the exact reasons she did- he manages to find her soft spot too. “I’ve read about your rat rescue- I had no idea you could buy rescue rats but I suppose they might need it more than most. Its not like people care if rats are mistreated- people mostly want them dead,” he says.

She perks up, “and they’re very clean contrary to popular belief,” she says.

Bruce nods, “I used to have rats as a child. They’re smart as hell too, probably a little too smart for their own good actually. They were both escape artists and Alfred, my butler, was not impressed to find them in the kitchen more often than not,” he says and Natasha laughs. With that he somehow manages to win her over too despite the fact that she’s impossible to please and probably wants to punch him because he smiles.

And Bruce thought this was going to go badly.

*

Bruce is sure he’s managed to screw everything up given how utterly silent Tony has been through the whole dinner. Tony isn’t normally silent- he errs more on the side of dominating the conversation if only by accident but through this entire thing he’s said next to nothing. So by the time they leave he’s worried he’s somehow managed to say something wrong but he can’t for the life of him figure out what it is. He did his research- all of Tony’s friends are as impressive as he is in their own right and he made sure to acknowledge that- the fastest way to impress Tony was to recognize worth in others and Bruce finds it both telling and strange. 

He’s never met someone who’s so attracted to the ability to recognize talent in others but Tony has a clear... thing for it. Maybe because he recognizes potential in the strangest of ways and in odd areas too- its just part of the way his mind works- and Bruce seems to be the only one who picks up on this aspect of Tony’s personality. And the potential Tony sees. Tony thinks he’s bad at people but he isn’t, he just sees them differently and this isn’t really odd considering he sees everything differently. What Tony is bad at is finding conventional ways to relate to people and Bruce likes that about him. It makes him feel less dangerous, somehow, like maybe if he’s different this relationship will be different too. He’s never been good at relationships, Selena knows that better than most.

“How the hell do you manage to do that?” Tony asks when they leave. 

Bruce has no idea what he means and his gut twists a little, worried that he’s managed to botch this too. For the first time since... he hasn’t felt like running and he doesn’t want to do something to make it end. “Do what?” he asks.

Tony frowns, “win people over like that. I’ve never met anyone who managed to make Natasha go from suspicious to smitten like that ever,” he says.

Well, it might help him to know Natasha isn’t smitten, she’s just convinced that Bruce isn’t horrible. Its the best she’ll ever think of him most likely, she’s not the kind of person who would ever fully trust another person, but Bruce already knew that when they met. But he does at least relax because he hasn’t done something wrong, Tony is just impressed with his people skills again. Its an odd trait to hone in on, but its that, his generosity, his love of children, and his ability to disagree with Tony that draws him in. That’s probably the strangest combination Bruce has run into but he doesn’t dislike it either. Those happen to be the traits, minus his ability to manipulate people, that he finds most admirable about himself too.

“I just did my research, Tony,” he says. Its all he’s ever needed to do.

Tony smiles and leans into his side, “yeah well, was ready to write you off and now he thinks I’m lying about how dramatic you are so obviously your research paid off,” he says.

Bruce wraps an arm around Tony’s waist, “Tony he doesn’t think I’m dramatic because he doesn’t know about Batman and you’re not going to tell him. If Cobblepot finds out who I am he’ll use it against me,” he says and Tony bursts out laughing.

“I love you, but this LARPing thing is ridiculous. Endearing, but ridiculous. You do know Cobblepot works in a bank, right? He’s not nearly as impressive as The Penguin even if he sucks at names,” Tony says.

Yes, Bruce knows that already. “I’m aware of all my foes, thank you. Harley Quinn is a psychiatrist who’s real name is Harleen Quinzel and her girlfriend is Poison Ivy,” he says. Pamela a botanist and a very well known environmental activist too, Tony has read her work when considering his green energy projects, actually.

“Jesus Christ, this is so dramatic. How the hell did you get half of Gotham involved in a LARP?” Tony asks.

Well, that’s just an exaggeration. There’s certainly not that many people in the game and frankly Bruce doesn’t care if he’s winning.

#bruce wayne x tony stark #ironbat #fanfiction #alternate universe #writing

[elizadoolittlethings]

An Interview with Mark Gatiss

October 12, 2015

Mark Gatiss is a man who has made a career of developing his childhood passions: Doctor Who, Sherlock Holmes, comedy, classic literature, Gatiss has done them all. With work as a screenwriter, actor, novelist and showrunner under his belt, Gatiss's illustrious career has been varied, but one thing has remained steadfast throughout his working life; his love of the dark and unsettling.

At a fundraiser for Darlington Police Memorial Fund on Ocotober 3rd 2015, Gatiss told of how Sherlock has changed his life, how he'd warmly welcome a female Doctor, his lifelong goal to play Jacob Marley and the mysterious gifts he has received from fans. After the event, Gatiss was kind enough to sit down with Shadows at the Door to discuss M.R. James and all things horror. SATD: You did a lot to raise the profile of M.R. James with new audiences with your adaptation of The Tractate Middoth and the accompanying documentary. Do you feel James is as recognised as much as other contemporaries such as Lovecraft? MG: He's the master(!), he's absolutely preeminent and rightly regarded as so. And well, you know the only problem I found with that is when I did Crooked House. They (the BBC) asked me to do an M.R. James and I said that I'd just like to do some new ones, because in a way, he becomes the default. It's a bit like whenever they list the greatest films ever made, it's so often Citizen Kane and people get a bit bored it it. James is clearly the best that's ever been, and people sometimes think 'Oh is he? Yes he is actually!'. But in fact what you want to do is kind of mix it up a bit, and that's all I wanted to do. Tractate came about because they asked me to do the documentary, and I said I'd love to but I'm too busy. But they kept asking and I just thought I'd chance my arm and said I'd do it one condition: let me write and direct a new adaptation and they said yes! Only trouble is that I'd love to do it every year and they haven't asked! And yes, James is incredible but i'd love there to be a broader field for others, such as Sheridan Le Fanu and all those that came after him. He was the best but it would be nice to mix it up a bit and if there were more of them it would be easier-- we could do with an anthology series, really. SATD: Yeah, the Ghost Story for Christmas series is quite sporadic at best, each year we look for it in the listings and it's never there. Is it quite a fight to get the BBC to do another one? MG: Yes it is. I would do one very year until I dropped dead. In fact, I want to do Count Magnus.I'd love to do some more, it's a tough sell because it's a short format and in the 70s it was so easy. The documentary was made via BBC Arts and it was like making one in the 70s, I was left on my own. But essentially, what I'd have to do to make that work is replicate it: do a documentary on someone along with an adaptation, and I can't do James again. But Funnily enough-- no wait, I won't say that because I'll jinx it(!) but it could work again. But it's difficult, it's all about money and ratings and it's a difficult slot whereas if you could make four or five of them together you could make a little series of them but that's expensive. SATD: Do you think that's something that could realistically happen? MG: Maybe. It's just increasingly difficult.

SATD: You're a fan of H.G. Wells too, is that someone whose work you'd try to push with the BBC?

MG:  Yeah but I tell you what, rejoice! Because the great Graham Duff has just done a serise of four Wells adaptations for Sky, I've seen them and they're fantastic! He's done The Purple Pileus-- the one about mushrooms-- and The Moth. But the particularly brilliant one stars Micheal Gambon, the name escapes me (Mark cries in frustration), but its just brilliant! It's about a dying old man who's looking an heir because he has n children, it's very sinister and it's fantastic. THey're all directed by Adrian Shergold and they so much capture the spirit of mid-70s horror, they're just really well done so look forward to that. SATD: Sounds fantastic! So moving onto Doctor Who, a lot of your episodes in particular have elements of horror to them. Is this something to comes to you naturally or is it just owed more to Doctor Who's gothic origins?

MG: Well horror is my bent, and to me Doctor Who has always been frightening. My principle memories of a child are being scared by it, it's in the DNA of Doctor Who. But obviously it depends on the story, The Crimson Horror for example is a northern gothic love letter and others are more traditional scares. A Martian in a Russian submarine for example, you just can't do that in any other show, I've yet to see it in Midsummer...

SATD: Speaking of The Crimson Horror, I've got to ask: were there elements of Hillary Briss (Gatiss's demented butcher character from The League of Gentlemen), in the character of the the undertaker?

MG: Oh yeah! He licked his lips a lot, didn't he? I tell who I really wanted for that part, Graham Fellows who plays John Shuttleworth. I really tried to get him but it didn't work out, I think we would have been perfect for that. What does he say? (Mark adopts a thick Yorkshire accent) 'White as the top of Buckton Pike!" (laughs). SATD: In other interviews you've said that you're fatigued by the sheer quantity of modern horror films.

MG: That's true! I was just thinking about this the other day: the absolute constant for me is ghosts, but other things can wax and wane. Personally, I think its now all a bit over saturated. Its a bit like super hero movies, theres too many and you start to get weary. Weirdly, its sort of like the old Chinese curse, be careful what you wish for. There are so many shows now, that are just hyper-gothic, steampunk-y, and Im just a bit saturated.

Therefore, like food or wine your tastes change and your palette changes so now I've gone in a slightly different direction. I used to think nothing could exist without waistcoats and bubbling test tubes and now Im actually more interested in modern horror; the gothic but in a modern context. I dont think it has to be about the old and obviously I still love it but it doesnt have to be about candelabra and castles. You can get the same feeling from modern methods, and in a way that is more frightening. The story which by consensus is the most successful in Crooked House, is the one which is in Barratt home because its like; 'Oh this is horrible because it might actually happen!'.

SATD: So have there been any recent films that have pleasantly surprised you?

MG: Well the problem is, and I was just talking to Simon Pegg about this, its like an addict always searching for their first hit. And whenever someone says; 'Oh my god have you seen x?' like The Babadook, which I really enjoyed, but I found it was much more interesting when it was a very harrowing story about that women going mad. The gothic touches left me cold, and I wondered why they were suddenly doing Poltergeist? Thats not what this story is about, the idea of a woman losing her mind because her child is unstable was really scary but in a different kind of way. (sigh) I suppose Im always just waiting for The Thing, really.

SATD: You have a part in the new Victor Frankenstein movie; does that feel surreal now that you're in a horror movie?

MG: All I can think of is; whats taken so long? But yeah, it was a delight. I only have a small part, and it only took a few days. Paul McGuigan, the chief Sherlock director asked me to do it and it was, you know, a really fucking huge Frankenstein laboratory! And I get to pull the lever and everything! There was a bit when I was going up an iron lift with Freddie Fox and it was all outdoors and raining I mean absolutely lashing with freezing cold rain and I said to Freddie; 'This isnt like being in Frankenstein, this is Frankenstein!' (laughs). And it doesnt get any better than that!

SATD: Do you get to ham it up then?

MG: Well, wait and see! (laughs)

SATD: Well, Mark thank you very much!

MG: Not at all, its been an absolute pleasure.

wanted to know about his Frankenstein role :) though didn’t get to see him much - think they edited a lot

also, for me too “..the absolute constant for me is ghosts, but other things can wax and wane.”

#Mark Gatiss

[endorstoiii]

todas as asks que não foram feitas

1:Full name.I don’t like to share my full name online so I just go with Marina Sakai (that’s enough).

2:Zodiac sign.Taurus

3:3 fears.cockroaches, drowning and burning to death.

4:3 things I love.Music, drawing, movies.

5:4 turn on’s.Music, people who are similar to me, trips and playing The Sims (how random is this?).

6:4 turn off’s.Stupid people, soccer, math and being obliged to do something I don’t want to.

7:My best friend?I don’t think I have one best friend only, I have a few close friends… you are one

8:Sexual orientation?Straight.

9:My best first date?hahaha lol

10:How tall am I?1,62cm I guess.

11:What do I miss?A very good friend I made on tumblr. For some reason she is gone :(

12:What time was I born?At 6:40 am or something.

13:Favorite color?Well I have a holy trinity of colors, but I’d say purple.

14:Do I have a crush?As long as band members exist, I will have a crush LMAO.15:Favorite quote?“My world is turning pages while I am just sitting here” - Kevin Parker, Apocalypse Dreams.

16:Favorite place?Paraty (beach).

18:Do I use sarcasm?Me? No, never.

20:First thing I notice in new person?

21:Shoe size?35 in Brazil too lazy to search it for other locations :p

23:Hair color?Black.

24: Favorite style of clothing?I don’t know, I like to mixture things.

25:Ever done a prank call?Not that I remember.

26:What color of underwear I’m wearing now?Yellow with lilac stripes

27:Meaning behind my URL?It’s a song by Tame Impala. Me + the lyrics = accuracy.

28:Favorite movie?Too hard… but let’s say it’s The Babadook.

29:Favorite song?TOO HARD, but hum… at the moment it is Stella Was A Diver And She Was Always Down by Interpol (which I’m listening to right now!!!) ((but also Leif Erikson and Tidal Wave and ughhhhh)).

30:Favorite band?Sorry, I cannot choose only one so here it goes my Holy Trinity: Tame Impala, Arctic Monkeys and Arcade Fire. But I am extremely obsessed with Interpol, so yeah.

31:How I feel right now?Shitty for having a week off and doing nothing.

33:My current relationship status.The same as always: single.

34:My relationship with my parents.It’s good with my mother, and ok with my father.

35:Favorite holiday.Festa junina because food.

36:Tattoos and piercing I have.None, yet.

39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?who?

40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts?Sometimes good night from my mother and my ex sister-in-law.

41:Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?No.

42:When did I last hold hands?God… when I was a child, maybe, with my parents, to cross the streets lmao seriously I have no idea.

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?The whole morning lol an hour at least.

44:Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?No. Call me disgusting.

45: Where am I right now?Dining room.

46:If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?This could only happen if I go out with my friends, none of them would go out to get drunk though hah but they would help me, I’m sure.47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Mostly reasonable level, but you know sometimes you gotta turn it louder for that one part… other times, the whole song lol48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes.

49:Am I excited for anything?Some of my fave bands will release new stuff this year, so yeah. Also, MGMT are coming to play here and I hope to go!!!50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No.51:How often do I wear a fake smile?70% of the time maybe.52:When was the last time I hugged someone?I hugged someone? I think it was 14 days ago because it was my friend’s birthday and I went to her house for a surprise party.

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?I would feel nothing.

54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?I don’t think so.

55:What is something I disliked about today?The whole day, I spent it doing chores and I am dead now.

56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Kevin Parker, love of my life. And many other band members.

57:What do I think about most?Music lol hum, I try to focus on my life, my future… but I can’t seem to succeed.

58:What’s my strangest talent?If I had one I can make 3 waves with my tongue, just like Daniel Radcliffe.

59:Do I have any strange phobias?I don’t know if they are strange, but I am afraid of dolls (automatonophobia) and trypophobia.

71:Do I spend money or save it?Save it… to spend it HAH (taurine with ascendant in Taurus).

72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?Nope.

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?Yes, there is a rose quartz, a pink tsuru (origami), a bed sheet, a sculpture of Our Lady of Aparecida, a small fake flower that my ex sister-in-law gifted my mom for Women’s Day.

74:Favorite animal?I also have a holy trinity for this lol: cats, elephants and deers (any kind).

75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Massaging my mom’s feet cause I’m a good daughter.

76:What do I think Satan’s last name is?Devicari LMAO ok this is an internal joke with my friends

77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Signs of Life by Arcade Fire78:How can you win my heart? Buy me concert tickets and food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Embrace disgrace. I have just decided this haha I like the word embrace and I always say disgrace, in English, to my sister. And these two words rhyme lol80:What is my favorite word?In Portuguese, it probably is saudade because of the feeling, but there are some others that I like the pronounce, not necessarily the meaning (like resiliência, recíproco, melancolia), and I chose it by the meaning. There’s also eita, which is a perfect word, omg, I don’t know what I would do without this word. In English, one of them is embrace as I said above. But by the pronounce, it is vortex in British accent. Good af. 81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr?OH MAN, I don’t have fav blogs, I have fav people! So this is the criterion to choose. This is not in order. I AM SO SORRY1. @warpaint-impala2. @14thandeuclid3. @sastrugie4. @roger-sultrey5. @streetofthoughtinallyourbones (this one is inactive, unfortunately, but there’s so much gold in there!!!) ((she is @ourblogtoadmire))

82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?hahah… hum… I would say @ all the band members who destroyed my life how much I love them.  As everybody in the world is listening to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

83:Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that I know.

84:I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Mental power, just like Professor Xavier, but with telekinesis too. Oh, and being able to fly.

85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Hum, I can only think of “y/n” type of question, which would be very obvious… so I guess the question would be “what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?” LOL

86:What is my current desktop picture?The best gig of my life, aka Tame Impala. For some reason I can’t add the picture here :/ so I’ll post it later separately.

87:Had sex?what is it?

88:Bought condoms?lol

89:Gotten pregnant?When seeing some certain pictures? Oh hell yes!

90:Failed a class?Yep, Chemistry classes mostly. I may have missed some classes, but my shitty teacher could never be patient and a good professional so I could never really learn a thing.

91:Kissed a boy?Unfortunately yes (not because he’s a boy, but because it was bad as fuck).

92:Kissed a girl?Nope.

93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?No. 

94:Had job?Yes, I’ve already been an English teacher for kids (imagine how dumb these kids became when they had classes with me lmao I’m sorry girls)

95:Left the house without my wallet?No, never.

96:Bullied someone on the Internet?No.

97:Had sex in public?lmao what does sex mean?

98:Played on a sports team?Yes, I used to play handball at school.

99:Smoked weed?No.

100:Did drugs?No.

102:Drank alcohol?Yes, today. But I never went out to drink, neither had a single alcoholic drink only for me.

103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Nope. 

104:Been overweight?No. I mean, never been in an unhealthy way.

105:Been underweight?Possibly when I was a child and had anemia.

106:Been to a wedding?Yes, the last one was on April 2017. It was my friend’s sister wedding.

107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?I think so, playing The Sims lol I love this game.

108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Probably… I’m not sure.

109:Been outside my home country?No :( (not yet!)

110:Gotten my heart broken?Yes because my fave band members havE GIRLFRIENDS!!! Ok, hum, I have had my heart broken by a “real person” once (and only time). But this person is one of the best people I have ever met and my heart was broken because we could never fit; he is not a bad person at all, we just are from different realities.

111:Been to a professional sports game?No.

112:Broken a bone?No.

113:Cut myself?Yes, once.

114:Been to prom?No.

115:Been in airplane?Yes, a long time ago, and I don’t remember how many times. Maybe 2 or 3. 

116: Fly by helicopter?No, but I want to!

117:What concerts have I been to?I have a list of it here! I have seen some native bands too, which were pretty cool.118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Not a crush properly, but a little attraction. 

119:Learned another language?Yes, English. But I want to learn others, like Japanese and Russian! 

120:Wore make up?For weddings, graduation and this kind of event. And sometimes to go out, but very, very simple.

121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?LMAO

122:Had oral sex?why so many questions about sex? I still don’t know what this mean!!!

123:Dyed my hair?Never, but I’d like to.

124:Voted in a presidential election?My first time will be this year, in October. And I have no idea in who to vote!!! :)

125:Rode in an ambulance?No.

126:Had a surgery?No.

127:Met someone famous?I didn’t meet him, but I once went to an event and Beakman (from Beakman’s World) was there… but this is just like seeing a band live: you only see them, you don’t meet them.128:Stalked someone on a social network?Hahahahah hell yes

129:Peed outside?Outside what? In public, like, in the street? In a bush? No, never!

130:Been fishing?Yes, twice.

131:Helped with charity?Yes. 

132:Been rejected by a crush?I had only one crush and he didn’t reject me, neither accepted.

133:Broken a mirror?Yes.

134:What do I want for birthday?My birthday was exactly 14 days ago I wanted a new pair of sneakers, and also money for gigs.

135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?If I have a good financial condition, I want two. If not, only one. I don’t think too much about names, but can you believe I thought of it earlier today? Yes! Male names I like are Julian and Edwin. And female, Elizabeth/Elise, Amélia/Amelie (just like I said here) and also Helena. 

136:Was I named after anyone?No, my grandfather suggested this name for me and my mom liked it.

 137:Do I like my handwriting?Not anymore. It is really ugly now, it used to be better.

138:What was my favorite toy as a child?Barbie dolls, always.

139:Favorite TV Show?Decora. It’s a Brazilian tv show about renovating and decorating rooms.

140:Where do I want to live when older?Perth, Australia (thanks Tame Impala for destroying my life).

141:Play any musical instrument?Unfortunately not, and I hate this!!! I really, reaaaally want to play some! Hopefully I will in the future.

142:One of my scars, how did I get it?I have two scars on my right arm. My sister really wanted the tv control I was holding… yeah, she tried to get it from my hands and scratched my arm.

143:Favorite pizza topping?K E T C H U P! LMAO SO PAULISTAN

144:Am I afraid of the dark?No.

145:Am I afraid of heights?Yes.

146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yeah, I remember once when I left the laundry room (I was alone there) and I didn’t hold the door, so it shut and it was loud, and I said it was my brother’s fault, though he wasn’t even there. My mom was getting in the laundry room and she saw it all. LOL.147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Always? lol hum, yes, it happens a lot.

148:What I’m really bad at.Everything. Ok, hum, I would say that I am really bad at being positive.

149:What my greatest achievements are.Seeing my Holy Trinity live; saving the life of some pets (my last dog and the three current cats I have) and I don’t know what else.

150:The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me.basically everything my father says to me hum my father used to call me useless a lot of times.

151:What I’d do if I won in a lottery.Help my family, move to Perth and try my life in there.

152:What do I like about myself?Nothing…………….-my music taste, and the fact that I am an open minded person.

153:My closest Tumblr friend.you (@warpaint-impala).

154:Something I fantasies about.LMAOOOOOOOOOO sorry but nope hah

155:Any question you’d like - would you read my text?Yes, I will read it.

Glenda, muito obrigada, mas nunca mais faça eu responder todas as perguntas. Por favor. Te amo

#this was the first time I had to answer ALL the questions #it took me two days to finish it lol #but well ok that's the price I pay isn't it? #my post

[aion-rsa]

Saint Maud and the True Horror of Broken Minds and Bodies

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Spoilers for SAINT MAUD to follow

If there hadn’t been a pandemic one of the horror movies everyone would be talking about this year would be Saint Maud. We’d be talking about it in the same breath as Hereditary, The Witch, The Babadook and Raw, but we’d know that it isn’t really like any of them. We might mention Repulsion, The Exorcist, Rosemary’s Baby, but we’d know what we’d seen is new and exciting.

Release in UK cinemas on October 9 after getting pushed back and pulled forward several times, Saint Maud can finally find its way to audiences who feel comfortable going to the pictures – with a digital release to follow.

This is director Rose Glass’ debut film, an incredibly confident first feature which sees Morfydd Clark’s pious palliative care nurse believe she is on a mission from god to save the soul of her dying patient, former dancer Amanda (Jennifer Ehle). Set in a squalid seaside town this is a film that pits faded glamour and rough reality against the beatific visions of the troubled Maud – it’s at once beautiful and hellish.

We caught up with Glass to talk about minds and bodies, a Welsh God and the horrific true story behind Maud’s past.

Would you describe Saint Maud as horror? 

I don’t know, I’m having less and less of an opinion on the whole genre thing now, to be honest. I guess it’s somewhat subjective. Why do people put such rigid labels on things? It’s a film. I’ve been told people find it scary. It’s not like some of the bigger, more mainstream, jump scares every minute ones. And neither is better or worse, I guess they’re just slightly different styles. But yeah, it’s more horror than it is not.

What were the origins of Maud, where did the concept first come from?

I started coming up with the early version of the idea just as I was finishing film school in 2014. It was just a premise that I thought would be fun. It was going to be a two-hander of a young woman who hears the voice of God in her head and falls in love with him. It was going to be some sort of twisted romance between her and God, but it started to go quite gimmicky quite quickly. That was what set me off down that path. But it was always about a woman who had this voice in her head. 

At first I didn’t question at all how literal that was or not, or whether or not that meant God or mental illness. So then I started wondering a bit more about that and started realizing there are two different ways you could be doing this same scenario, depending on whether you have faith or not, which I thought was quite interesting and deliberately a bit provocative and fun. It’s an amalgamation of lots of stuff that I’m interested in, mental illness and religion, and brains and bodies going wrong and all that sort of stuff.

It struck me as about a conflict between mind and body and soul…

The ridiculousness of being a human and at once the world in our brains being able to encompass such huge concepts and be so far reaching and epic, and apocalyptic within our minds, but then the mundane reality of life. Not to mention the fact that all of us are walking around in weird fleshy body things that can go wrong, and the brain’s just an organ. And what the fuck is consciousness? It’s all mind-boggling, so for me I guess, storytelling and films and art is often just trying to find weird varied ways to make sense of all that.

The settings and your locations really help with that. The comparison between these lofty ethereal visions and these squalid moments of hell in the flat. Can you tell me a bit about the locations and what you were looking for when you were hunting down those places?

I think that, what you said, that was it. I wanted to find ways for the visual language and setting of the film to reflect what’s going on. So yeah, when she’s on her sacred mission and trying to help Amanda in her house, that’s high above the town looking down on everybody and that’s kind of how she is. And then her crappy little bedsit is meant to have the feel of a hermitage or some kind of, I don’t know, not monastic, but something very basic.

How did you manage to achieve that terribly oppressive, hellish look and feel to the film?

I always wanted the whole film to be incredibly subjective, and for the audience to always be very much aligned with Maud’s experience. And for me, the whole challenge of the film was to see if I could get the audience to connect with and understand somebody who goes on to do such seemingly inexplicable, awful things. There’s a version of the story that could have been told and shot like a very bleak, social realism drama about an unemployed nurse who’s struggling with mental health issues. And while that is definitely in the story, I wanted to tell it from her perspective. Because obviously, she doesn’t see herself as this unfortunate downtrodden victim. She sees herself as somebody incredibly important. She’s in direct communication with God. This is all massive high stakes stuff. Otherwise you don’t get what’s driving her.

Her day-to-day life, job, is quite mundane and she’s looking for the thing that makes her feel important and seen and special. So her relationship with God and the whole journey that she thinks she’s going on with Amanda, it had to feel as important, sexual and exciting as the character finds it. Then the whole drama comes from the conflict between what she thinks is going on, and what’s actually going on.

The look of it had to be super sensual and stylized. I work with Ben Fordsman who’s my DOP, it’s his first film as well. He’s fantastic. We talked a lot about making the visual style reflect her unraveling mental states. At the beginning things were a lot more controlled, in terms of camera and lighting and camera movement, and then gradually as she unravels throughout the film, the style of the whole film gets more and more extreme.

The fact that Maud is very strong, believes she’s on a mission from God and doesn’t feel sorry for herself makes this a very different film.

She’s a very contradictory character, which to me just seems more realistic. None of us are just one thing. I wasn’t so aware of this until I actually watched, with editing the film and shooting, and Morfydd said the same thing when she watched it for the first time. Because we both are physically small women, it’s not something you’re conscious of but in terms of how you come across in the way she looks there’s already like a natural frailty or vulnerability which makes you want to go, “Oh.” and help her. But then actually everything else beyond that, beyond how she looks, in her performance, and how she interacts with people, it’s quite spiky and tough, quite arrogant. I like these neurotic characters, with weird levels of arrogance and self-loathing. Neurotics with stomach aches, and arrogance and self loathing. Encompassing lots of things, contradictory, multifaceted, she’s chameleon and very funny.

To me this feels like a really female film. Was that something that you were really conscious of and deliberately wanted to do? Or was that just because you happen to be a female?

Yeah, the latter. I don’t know. I feel like with the horror vibe, sometimes feel like I’m not saying what I should. No, I’ve never thought of myself as a female filmmaker, and what is the thing I have to say as a woman. I just come at things as an individual. I think it’ll be good when audiences can think more like that as well. But at the same time, I don’t want to be ungrateful. I’m really aware of the fact that I’m really fortunate to be coming up at this time where, because of the hard work that a lot of other people have done before me, audiences and the industry are more open than they have been before to stories about women. So I’m certainly benefiting from that. I wish I didn’t have that little bit of voice in my head that’s like, “Oh, so are you just ticking a box…”

There are certainly themes of how these two women connect to their bodies.

I’m very interested in weird relationships that we all have with our bodies, and obviously, I’m coming at it from a female perspective, because I am a woman. [I’m interested in] the contrast between his alternate epic inner world and how limiting bodies are sometimes. 

When Maud hears the voice of God it’s actually Morfydd’s own voice we are hearing, I gather?

Yes. And it wasn’t in the original script. Going in to shoot the film, that scene didn’t exist. I think I’d been a bit too ruthless with trying to cut the script down so it would be short and contained. There are things that you think come across because you’ve written it and you’re familiar with it, and then you look in the edit and you’re like, “Oh shit, we need this scene.” It felt like we needed an unambiguous scene where God reveals himself to her and talks. So then it was like, “What does God look and sound like?” So I’d already had this beetle that we’d done some stuff with, so I was like, “Great, get the beetle in.” And then it’s like, “How does the beetle sound?”

I’d been listening to Morfydd talking on the phone to her sister in Welsh throughout the shoot, and it’s just this lovely sounding language, which I think is unfamiliar to most people. I probably wouldn’t have recognized it. Everyone’s kind of, “Is it Latin? Is it Aramaic?” Then you go, “It’s Welsh.” And then you’re like, “It’s Morfydd’s voice pitched down and everyone goes, “Ooh.”

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Where did Maud’s backstory originate?

It’s a story I actually nicked from a woman that I met at a friend’s birthday party who was a nurse. I was talking to her a bit about the film before we’d shot it. I was running it by her, the idea of this traumatized nurse, who’s left the public sector and gone to work as a private carer. And there’s this kind of unresolved, untreated trauma that she’s gone through. She’s basically losing her mind and no one’s realized. “Does that sound plausible?” And she was like, “Yeah, totally.” I’d already read a lot of stories about nurses and doctors and public health workers grappling with mental health issues, because it’s a great, insane field to work in.

This woman told me this thing that happened to her, where she’d been working on a intensive care unit for people with lung problems. There was a guy, an old man, who was recovering from some major chest surgery and he was either in a coma or asleep, I’m not sure. He’d been sort of, sliced and stapled here [gestures down the centre of her chest] and this nurse was doing the night shift and he crashed, went into some kind of cardiac arrest. She had to start doing CPR and he was so frail, and he’d just had this surgery, which was sort of open. And yeah, her hands just kind of, went inside and he died…

Wow.

Awful, yeah. Fortunately, in this woman’s case, she got a ton of therapy and worked through it, but had PTSD. So to be honest, the real thing that happened to her, I think, is more horrifying than what actually did in the film, because we tried to do that effect, but it didn’t work. In our film you see the chest, there was a cavity inside that fake chest. It was meant to be that Morfydd’s hands went all the way inside, but it didn’t quite work. Then actually, the first take that we did where it didn’t break it just crushed, that actually made the whole crew wince. So actually we just ended up using that. Putting in a little bit of fake blood, so it’s less gory than the real thing that happened. But I think it’s more effective in the film anyway. So yes, that lady’s awful trauma, I’m making a film out of it. I’m not sure about the moral implications of that but… Anyway, that’s what I did.

When you were at film school till 2015, and you’ve made quite a lot of shorts before, I wondered if you see common themes or preoccupations within your work?

You start to work out what your things are. For me, they definitely seem to be bodies and brains going wrong, always loved bodies and brains. Insects are getting in there as well. At least two of the next projects are definitely quite body focused.

What can you tell us about those?

Only that there’s one which is set in America and that’s going to be a rather horrible romance, or lovely romance, depending how you look at it, I guess. And the other one is the sort of, slightly more body horror one, which I was writing mostly during lockdown, but I can’t say any more.

In terms of the title, is there a real Saint Maud?

There is. That’s not who she’s named after though. Initially, the film was just called, “Maud”. Then “Saint Maud” only came about once I worked out that she isn’t actually Maud, she’s Katie, and Maud’s kind of an identity she’s created for herself. I think there was one, I want to say she was something like the patron saint of naughty school children, something like that. 

Your film is finally coming out in cinemas and I know it’s been moved around a bit. So how does it feel that you’re finally getting your release?

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Great. Very weird. Very nice. I keep forgetting that the main thing hasn’t happened yet, with coming up in festivals and all of that stuff. To me, it sort of feels like Maud’s kind of done, so I’m thinking about the next stuff now. I keep forgetting that it’s not actually been released yet. I’m curious to see what regular audiences think of it.

Saint Maud is out now in UK cinemas

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[keyofjetwolf]

Jet Wolf Summarizes Act 44

The manga and I kind of hate each other. This is unfortunate, but still, I’m determined to come out of this with something. Rather than spend energy on a liveblog that’s increasingly negative, I’m reading each manga act (mostly) silently, and then writing up summaries at the end. I won’t pull my punches. There’s going to be criticism and snark about the manga, either wholesale or in details. If that isn’t a thing you feel like reading, please skip this post!

IT WAS ALMOST FUN FOR A SECOND THERE

We start with the Outers, who I think all got married off panel, and talk about what they’ve been up to for the past six months.

Yes, apparently it’s been six months between them fucking off and now. Don’t think about how that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever within the context of the end of the last arc and the beginning of this one which happen within about the space of a day. WE ARE REPEATEDLY ASSURED IT’S REALLY BEEN SIX MONTHS.

I can’t read a single one of these bloody issues without Takeuchi fucking gaslighting me.

Anyway, we had some fun with the Outers shit, by which I mostly mean we took something terrible and laughed at it, and you can refresh your memory about all that here.

Really, anytime The Babadook seamlessly takes Michiru’s place is a good time.

But then we leave the Outers and return to Minako, whose been dangling off of a twenty foot high platform this whole time, and the fun immediately gets sucked away. SPEAKING OF SUCK

OH YEAH

THAT HAPPENED

I’ll come back and scream, don’t worry. But this is a quick summary (I originally typed that as “squick summary” AND NEVER WERE MY FINGERS MORE ACCURATE), and I may as well get it out the way first.

Artemis becomes a human because god is dead, and he not only saves Minako but says he’s the reason she couldn’t transform. OKAY. He powers her up and I guess it’s supposed to be sweet, but for some strange reason, I’m just not feeling it.

I WONDER WHAT IT COULD POSSIBLY BE

IT’S A MYSTERY

Minako does great, but then not really, and the others are captured and brainwashed . TO BE CONTINUED GOSH I WONDER IF THE OUTERS WILL SHOW UP AND SAVE THEM AWESOME

Jesus fucking wept, okay, back to this bullshittery. So Artemis is human now, or ~humanoid~, the fuck ever, he’s a PERSON not a CAT. First and foremost, maybe don’t create animal characters if you’re not actually interested in them being animals, Takeuchi. Because if he can do it, I’m guessing so can Luna, and probably Diana. Which puts you at fucking six for six on the animal/human thing, which likely doesn’t concern you, but does me, a little.

Because let’s consider. Let’s just stop and fucking consider the ramifications of this for three seconds in that way I know you absolutely did not. And we’ll start JUST LAST ISSUE.

YOU DID THIS

YOU DID THIS KNOWING YOU WERE GOING TO REVEAL ARTEMIS TO BE A HUMAN MALE IN THE VERY NEXT ISSUE

DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD ENHANCE THIS SOMEHOW

RATHER THAN MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP IN MY FUCKING MOUTH

The vast stormy umi of problems I had with this last time? That he’s human only makes them ten times worse. THIS IS A GROWN MAN PEEPING ON HIS YOUNG TEENAGE CHARGE HOW EXACTLY DID YOU FEEL THAT ENHANCED THE STORY AND CHARACTERS

And he’s a grown man who’s been LYING to Minako this entire time. That’s what I can’t get out of my head. He’s been fundamentally lying to Minako about who and what he is FOR YEARS. Which would be one thing if he lived in a little cat house outside or had his own place down the block or whatever. But no. He stays in her house, in her ROOM. He’s around her CONSTANTLY. Every day, nearly every minute. With her thinking he was a cat (a talking magical cat, yes, BUT A CAT), having no idea who she was hugging, teasing, crying to, joking about, fighting alongside, sleeping next to, LIVING with.

How may times before now might Minako have been saved from some trouble, minor or major, if Artemis had popped into human form? How much physical pain might he have saved her from enduring as she fought alone, because he was “just a cat”? How much has she done in front of him without even thinking about? I guarantee you I’d lose my fucking shit if one day my dog was like “oh btw, I’m human, lol.” BITCH I LET YOU SLEEP UNDER THE COVERS WITH YOUR HEAD ON MY ASS WHAT THE FUCK.

It was weird and complicated enough when Artemis was perving on Minako as a cat. I feel like I need a thousand showers now he’s been human the whole time. If I’m Minako, key to transforming or no, I’m kicking Artemis the fuck out of my life and shooting a Crescent Beam between his eyes on sight from this day forward.

But I know that won’t happen. If we get even a panel COMMENTING on this, it’d be a bloody miracle. The actual depth of Artemis’s deception though, the degree to which he lied and KEPT lying to Minako, I know we’ll never go there. I know it’s not crossing Takeuchi’s mind that this is a problem at all. let alone how HUGE a problem.

So this is just where I am now. Disgusted and furious with Artemis, his relationship with Minako in tatters for me, and absolutely no benefits to any of this whatsoever.

Remember when, in Episode 100, Artemis gave Minako flowers and asked her to spend the evening with him and it was adorable and precious and wonderful and perfect? REMEMBER WHEN I COULD THINK OF THAT AND KNEW JOY RATHER THAN NAUSEA

Oh, speaking of nausea, Usagi’s sick now too or something, whatever.

#JW reads Sailor Moon #sm manga dream #sm manga act 44 #jet wolf versus the manga #jet wolf summarizes the manga #a novel by jet wolf

[exileoblivion]

all of them for you too buddy

alrighty, here goes!!1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? I try to make it equal, but I always end up with more milk than cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? For the most part, yes. Unless I’m not feeling well or whatever

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Whatever’s close at hand that’s flat and small, lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? My coffee has to have a LOT of creamer and/or sugar. My tea depends; for the most part, it HAS to have at least a little bit of sugar, but there’s some that I don’t mind not having sugar in, just depends

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? YES.

6: do you keep plants? No

7: do you name your plants?No

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Either writing or drawing

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yup!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Mainly my sides, but I’ll lay on my back when I’m sick or hurt

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? …oh god…my one friend and I have one that deals with DMMD, and I am SO not talking about that here pppfffttttttt

12: what’s your favorite planet? I don’t really have one

13: what’s something that made you smile today? I WATCHED THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE, AND IT WAS SO DAMN CUTE ALSDKFJELAKJSDF

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Dorky AF. Probably a lot of purple/shades of purple for the colors

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Space smells like burnt meat and metal, or something like that? I remember hearing that a while back

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Chicken alfredo, or Mushroom Ravioli alskdjfalskjdf

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I REEEALLLLYYYYYY want to dye the right side of my hair pastel pink

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. that same inside joke about DMMD omfg alskdjf

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? a writing journal? No. I do have a TON of sketchbooks though, which have random doodles in them.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue. BRIGHT blue. I’ve also lately REALLLYYYY been loving shades of brown that almost look red. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I recently bought a Castiel bag from Hot Topic, and while it’s not old, it has gone on a few adventures through the woods with me, and went with me to my last job quite a lot. I’m going to be using it a TON when I get my fursuit partial in 2018.

22: are you a morning person? Depends on if I get enough sleep, and wake up in a good mood

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Laying in “bed” curled up in a few blankets with snacks and watch youtube vids

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? In the past, yeah. I haven’t had someone I could trust that much in a looonnnggggg time though

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? Technically it wasn’t breaking in to, but I went to explore my old abandoned house and it was SO cool, omfg. 

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Lately it’s either my red converse or my gray winter boots

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? Man, I haven’t chewed gum in YEARS…I dunno?

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? i can’t think of an answer to this one

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? OF COURSE

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I love them in the winter! I love the ones with patterns, or things on them. The plain colored ones are so boring, tbh. I loooveeee the ones that go up to my knees, or the super fuzzy ones. I also super love slippers asldkfj 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I can’t stop thinking about that damn DMMD joke between my one friend and I alskdjfalkds that happened WELL after 3am when we were both super tired to the point of delirium, and it’s just so funny alskjf

33: what’s your fave pastry? It’s a tie between pie and cinnamon buns/rolls

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had this plush cat that my one grandma gave me for christmas like…a year or so before she died? I named her Jellybean, and I took her EVERYWHERE with me. I should still have her…at least I did when we moved here when I was like 15…but I haven’t checked…she could be ruined for all I know ughhhhhhh

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yeah! I use stuff like that on rare occasions.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? STARSET!!!!!

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I don’t have a room, and have way too much stuff in all different areas to keep anything organized. I HATE it :”D

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I CAN NOT FUCKING STAND THE SOUNDS OF PEOPLE EATING. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT IT IS, I CAN ALWAYS HEAR PEOPLE EATING. I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I FUCKING HATE IT ALSKDJFALSKDJFLAKSJDFUUGHHHHHHHHHHHH. No, but seriously. I can NOT be around people that are eating. I HAVE to have headphones in. Like, no offense…I have sensitive hearing, and chewing ((honestly, any kind of mouth noise other than talking)) noises make me gag and spiral into a HUGE anxiety attack and it’s so bad alsdkjfalskdjf 

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? Okay, so since I keep mentioning DMMD; I got an Industrial piercing in my left ear just like Noiz. It was the last piercing I got, and my first one from a PROPER piercer. The whole experience was awesome, and I loved it. It was back when our group was still 4 people, and we made a day of it. The piercer was SUPER nice, talked me through everything he was doing, being calm and reassuring, and just super sweet in general? Afterwards, he gave me a box of apple juice to help with my blood sugar, and I loved that idea so much, that to this day after I get tattoos or piercings, I always make sure to have apple juice as a tradition. I got my last piercing because 1.) I thought it looked HELLA cool, 2.) I reallllyyyyyy wanna cosplay Noiz, and 3.) Noiz’s character has a TON of meaning and stuff with me. Up next I’m gonna start stretching my lobes like him. Maybe it’ll be soon! 

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder cases

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Sadly, no. If I did, it’d probably be a Starbucks or a Crazy Mocha

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? Like, actually laid out with a blanket and watched them for a long period of time? When I was a little kid with my brothers, watching a meteor shower

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? n-e-v-e-r~

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? sometimes

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of  for the life of me, I can’t think of any at the moment alskdjfalskdjfleakjsef

.47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? BLACK LICORICE

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I think it may have been the dark…? And I mean…I do suffer from sleep paralysis…so…sometimes, kinda…..bllleeecchhhhhh

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? YES! The last two that I bought myself was  Gorillaz’s Demon Days and Plastic Beach 

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Do stuffed plushes/animals count…? Cuz…ya boi has a bad addiction with buying stuffed things

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? The only ones that I can think of are all sad/depressing/triggering…

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? What in tarnation dog…I don’t get the whole babadook being a gay icon one, but it is funny af for some reason??? distracted boyfriend….is the “BITCH I WON’T HESITATE’ considered a meme at this point, cuz I LOVE that one even if it isn’t

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I will NEVER watch or listen to that shit, get it out of here. Not yet, but maybe someday. HATE IT. Never seen it.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? IRL…? no clue lmao

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? God…I have no clue….probably like, raise my voice…?

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? …I really need to start paying attention to people more…I can’t think of anything…

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Unpopular opinion…I hate that song. 

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I don’t have enough friends to apply this to anyone oops

59: what’s your favorite myth? I don’t have a favorite myth, but can we talk about conspiracy theories and stuff like that???? cuz, holy hell…my eyes are finally open to them and some of them are GLORIOUS

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Poetry’s okay, I don’t have any faves

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? Probably like everything I ever give people. I can’t think of any

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? If I have apple juice, I WILL DRINK THAT EVERY MORNING ALSKFJLSKEJF

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I kinda just leave them be. As long as they don’t get ruined

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? It looks black?

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? convention friends. I also used to have a lot of online friends who have all pretty much disappeared that I miss terribly…

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? It’d be made of golden flowers. because reasons.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? ALIVE alskdfjaslkdfj

68: what’s winter like where you live? It’s all over the freaking place. Sometimes it’s super cold, snowy, windy….other time’s it’s kinda cold, no snow, we’ve had a few where it’s practically spring weather?!???!?!?! 

69: what are your favorite board games? I love CAH, and other kinds of adult humored games like those alskdfj

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Not an Ouija board, but I have used a pendulum thingy with a sheet of paper that almost represented an Ouija board

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? I love ALL kinds of tea. I have so many faves, I can’t pick just one alskdjfalskdfj

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? Sorta, yeah

73: what are some of your worst habits? Whew boy, just about everything I do anymore is bad lmao

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. um…they’re…human?

75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? sleeping lmao

77: pink or yellow lemonade? yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? HATECLUB

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? no one’s done anything cute for me in years thx

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? The area that I sleep in has white walls. It’s the color that was here when we moved in.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. …it just occurred to me…that I have no idea what color eyes my friends have…WELP

82: are/were you good in school? Nope lmao

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? I think the art for Plastic Beach is pretty neat

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? YES!!!! I have my Bill Cipher one all drawn up, just need to get it done. And then, I’m thinking of getting the seal of Metatron from the SH series done on my other rib, and then….I have SOOOOOOoooooOOoOOOoOoO many more ideas for tattoos, it’s ridiculous, lmao.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don’t read comics, but I do read manga lol. I LOVE Deadman Wonderland, I just got the complete series of MARS which was the first manga series I ever read through, Alice 19th is SO GOOD, of course my unhealthy love for Killing Stalking, Blood Bank…um…I can’t think of anymore atm

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I honestly don’t know what that means….? But, it’s possible…?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Nightmare Before Christmas, Inception, Shutter, the original Halloween movies, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Lost Boys, Queen of the Damned, Ironman 3

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not really

89: are you close to your parents? nope

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Okay, so…I’ve only ever been to D.C. once so far, but it’s REALLY beautiful alskdfj I can’t wait for next Otakon, and hopefully be able to explore it more. There’s such a surreal charm to it. You can reallllllyyyyy feel the history everywhere you go there. Just. Damn. 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I WANT TO VISIT CENTRALIA SO GOD DAMN BADLY WHILE I’M STILL THE SAME AGE AS JAMES SUNDERLAND, AND I’M RUNNING OUT OF TIMEASLDKJFALSKEJFLAKSJFLKJ

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? no cheese plz

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? messy buns or ponytails

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?…one of my brothers…???

95: what are your plans for this weekend? celebrate Thanksgiving, make a dessert for our dartball tournament…hope to hell I don’t get dragged to it…and hopefully write or play games. Maybe also clean too….

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I tend to let them go for awhile before updating

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, Aquarius, Slytherin

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? too long!!! and, I think so?

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Hiro no Tsuki/Melfina’s song, Is there Somewhere and Control by Halsey, just about the whole Undertale soundtrack, the sountracks to both Portal 1, and 2, ESPECIALLY Exile Vilify by The National, All of Me by John Legend,JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING BY STARSET, I know there’s a ton….but those are all of the ones I can think of at the moment

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the future. 5 years ago was TERRIBLE, and I never want to relive it again.

#about me #long post #hot-for-justice #ask Oblivion