lundonboi

[lundonboi]

a studying playlist

i've just finished my final exams and i thought i would bring u this playlist. hot take: i think studying, learning and discovery is so underrated and i don't just mean this in like an academic, exams kinda way but in a more personal way. i think for so many first gen, poc, working class people, education can be the way to escape cycles of poverty and gain a better life for urself - but even more, it can give u passion. weather that is studying a physics law or thinking deeply about a political matter, it's this critical thinking imo is what gives life meaning and is why education is so important for us as humans. even from the scientist in labs working to cure diseases to artists who direct films and allow people with the opportunity to experience a visual, that evokes something deep within them, it's our individual roles in society that keeps this earth rotating. anyways, that was just a long explanation as to why i think we should romanticise studying and why u should listen to this fire playlist when doing so. study hard bitches!

#studyblr #study motivation #studying #studyinspo #music #spotify #playlist #currently listening to #tunes #song suggestions #favorite songs #work life #study life #final exams #exam season #exam study #instrumental #Spotify

[lundonboi]

morning

the morning is such an underrated time and over the past few weeks, i've been unintentionally waking up at 6 o clock. i think it's the quietness and the steadiness of the morning that gives it a sense of warmth and comfort. anyways this playlist is for when u wake up in the morning, rearrange your flowers, brush your teeth, do ur skincare, make yourself a cereal, journal in ur diary, vent in ur notes app, chug a coffee down and process how dumb this fucking life is. good morning!

#spotify #music #morning light #morning motivation #morning rambles #good morning #sunrise #aesthetic #slow mornings

[lundonboi]

lourdes

went on a trip to lourdes in the south of france recently (a place where miracles are reported to happen if your go). i personally don't know where i stand with religion and spirituality because i find beauty and meaning in everything but also nothing. i've been doing finals for the past few weeks and "prayed" that my exams would go smoothly - and so they did, fortunately. idk if this will turn me into a holy christian now but i defo think religion for us humans is to an extent necessary in a comforting way - i can't imagine a world where we didn't believe books, written thousands of years ago, put our faith into other worldly beings, and all in all just didn't have some sort of an all powerful presence guiding us. in some ways, it teaches us the importance of acting with kindness and showing empathy (btw this is defo hyper romanticising religion and i'm not talking abt the many fucked up shit and contradictions in religious scriptures). like i genuinely cannot imagine a world where all humans and society functioned, in a way where everything we did and acted was based on logic and reason because imo that shit is just boring. i wanna believe in 1000 diff gods and goddesses and know that there is someone out there who has a plan for me - like that shit has so much value and meaning, so even if it doesn't end up being true and i don't go to a place called heaven or get reborn into a better realm than my previous one - it still gives life substance and gives a temporary life meaning.

anyways even if this deep philosophical shit is meaningless, i can still appreciate the art that religion gives us so here are some pics that i took from the trip. have a good evening.

#religion #lourdes #spititual #spirituality #universe #philosophy #spilled thoughts #blog #deep thoughts #deep thinking #photography #photoblog #my photos #places

[lundonboi]

eye've been crying

found this in my sketchbook but couldn't find the original ref. photo from pinterest :(

#sad #doodles #myart #art #sketch #sketches #teenarist #eye #crying #depression #anxiety #mental health #pen #slowcore #sad thoughts

[lundonboi]

liminal

do u ever feel those spaces, where it's like time doesn't exist, ur body goes all numb and noises become faint whispers in ur ears, taunting u for how little yk about this stupid fucking life and how far you have still to go.

#liminal #spilled thoughts #music #spotify #sadmusic #emo shit #depressing shit #sad #liminal core #sad girl #tired of life #listen #indiepop #Spotify

[lundonboi]

a playlist for crying ur heart out

this is so shoegaze, soft rock, dream pop, alt-folk, sad girl indie pop, break up realness.

#music #pop #sadpop #indiepop #dreampop #shoegaze #altfolk #lana del bae #depressing shit #spilled thoughts #indie music #headache #spotfiy #cry #sad #breakup #romance #heartbreak #Spotify

[lundonboi]

The Hospital Ward

Chrome blue and red artificial lights shine upon my body, as I lay on the hospital trolley - oblivious to the fact that my last moments of living will be chained with hospital wires to my bed, unable to escape the confinement of the hospital ward. Stuck between a threshold of life and death.

Fluorescent tubes fill my body with chemicals and substances that keep me afloat from leaving the room. I silently scream for meaning and hope yet words come in gasps and tears pour down my cheek, leaving nothing but another silver trail of despair, only to be ignored and wiped away with another pill. Slowly I begin to wash away from the chaos that stirs within the ward, like a ghost travelling between the past and the present. Lingering between life and death, like the roaring waves of an ocean biting at a cliff - pulled back by the extremes of gravity. Clinging onto earth slowly becomes nothing but an empty promise.

Wrapped in a thick blanket of silence, the screams and cries that once deafened my ears like the banging's of a marching band, slowly turn into muffles, as the beeps of the hospital machines and the shuddering of my hollow breaths overwhelm any other life. A supercut of memories play in my head and eventually the curtain closes. Tension leaves my body.  Sweat dries on my brow. The blood finishes its trail. I depart this Earth. Breaking free from the chains of the Hospital Ward.

#short story #sad #sad thoughts #creative writing #hospital #waiting #waiting room #sick #ill #death #nurse #depressing shit #description #family #dying #mental health #coping #writing #poetry #literature

[lundonboi]

an unfinished story

finished a whole semester,

convinced that you would approach me,

created a 8 chapter story,

as im losing my mind slowly,

now i'm crying on the bus home,

while you’re out celebrating with your friends,

hope you know that should've been me,

holding your hand in the high street,

man I really screwed this up,

set myself up in a trap,

held onto every second,

every day we met another relapse.

fell for superstitions,

but didn't wanna face the truth,

that you simply had better things to do,

but I was foolish and had no one else to hold on to.

#love #lovesick #love poem #poem #poetry #lyrics #sad #literature #romance #lgbtq #i love him #sad poetry #short poem #school #gay love #asthetic #student #writer

[lundonboi]

my mania

ur upstage centre,

singing ur love song,

as the lonely bartender,

and I'm being led along.

u don’t feel the same,

and i'm just an extra,

backstage bitch to blame,

your my fucking mania.

#crush #love #teenager #poetry #mania #lovesick #writing #lgbtq #romance #lyrics #single #message me #dating #relationship #every #sad poetry #sad thoughts #sadcore #i'm sad

[lundonboi]

feeling twenty two

if im not living in a one bedroom studio apartment like this in central london by the age of 22 with my crush, i consider my life a flop. plays '22' by taylor swift while having an existential crisis about the future*

#london #appartement #future #design #interior design #boho #indie

[lundonboi]

back to black

so this is the mood rn - its september, you're on the bus home from school while its raining, you're back is in excruciating pain from the books you are carrying, the queen has died and now you wanna die. thank you for listening to my ted talk follow for me for more. i'm kinda new to this tumblr thingy.

#school #student #london #music #rain #autumm #Spotify

[lundonboi]

A Story That Isn't Mine to Tell

We were doing well for ourselves,

Although we weren’t the richest on the street,

You taught me how to defend for myself,

If only I could fix you, i would in a heartbeat,

How you deserve nothing but the best,

But how your mother wouldn’t be impressed,

If she’d seen what you’ve become,

Her body would turn pale and heavy numb.

Its bad that I runaway,

From the hall when I see you play,

The hall where we’d once played,

Our childhood games are now a phase.

The hours you’d worked gone,

Hope the money was worth leaving us alone,

Return to your manics at the crack of dawn,

I honestly should’ve known.

When to snatch off your phone after 1 game,

To lock the doors and hide us all once you came,

Play role of the older mother that wasn’t insane,

God my youth will never be the same.

#poetry #family #sad