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afreakingdork · 3 years

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Review: March Comes In like a Lion (Seasons 1 and 2)

What a wild ride this has been. It’s funny seeing the posters side by side because they really illustrate how I feel about seasons 1 and 2 of this series. To me, season 1 felt disjointed and season 2 just made me feel so good and light even while it was dunking me straight into emotional turmoil. The thing is, one cannot exist without the other and I’ll tell you why:

I struggled at first to even finish season 1. I started once many years ago (I’m not even sure when) and gave up after about 2 episodes because I just couldn’t get my self synched with what was happening. When I started again a few months ago, I felt like every episode was a slog. I wasn’t sure why I even kept watching, honestly. The aesthetics were beautiful and haunting. The imagery reminded me of both Hyouka and Flowers of Evil. I could tell Rei was going through some really dark emotions, but I also wasn’t sure what was going on. There would be flashes and abrupt shifts away from the topic. It seemed to capture the sensations of depression really well, but also not in a way that translated to also telling a story to which, I think, it also had a duty to do. It seemed like Kyouka had sexually abused Rei at some point based on the flashes of her character straddling him and even after finishing both seasons, I’m not sure if that was the case. The dark and brooding artistically-charged emotional overtures of Rei are then just super-cut with intensely fluffy slice of life-esque sequences that gave me emotional whiplash. The show goes from Rei self-isolating to Nikaidou teaching the two younger Kawamoto sisters how to play shoji with animated cats. I remember trying to recall this information to my partner and not being able to explain it adequately because I just hadn’t even had enough heart in the series to learn the characters’ names. I felt bad, but I didn’t know what else to do. The show was fine, entertaining enough, but I just felt lackluster about what was happening. I applaud that they actually used the word depression when discussing Rei’s dark periods. I don’t know much, but I do know that mental health is extremely stigmatized in Japan and it was refreshing to hear it just laid out. However, I can honestly say that Shimada is what turned the show around for me. His introduction and the charisma of a beaten down exhausted pro just really resonated with me. By the time they were doing the train sequence in that final episode of season 1, I felt like everything was just too open ended and I had to go on because I had finally remembered Rei’s name.

Everything turned around as I started to watch season 2. They pretty much immediately dove into a bullying arc with Hina and the whole series turned around for me. I was absolutely invested in everything that was happening and it was so heart wrenching and realistically portrayed. I found myself unable to pull away as Hina led the episodes and explained how her classroom dove into a dark black swirling pool of hateful energy. Suddenly, the artistic sequences now seemed succinct. Each portrayal of an emotion made my heart tighten and I could perfectly see how each character saw what was happening around them. It felt too good to be true. Even when a brand new character took over, I’m talking about Yamazaki in "Silver Wings," I had a moment where I was like, ‘What do I care about this guy? Why are we interrupting the narrative for him?’ By the end of his chapter, I was ashamed I ever felt that way. For once the narrative was larger than Rei and, while we knew Yamazaki through the lens of Rei, we didn’t know Yamazaki’s feelings during his match with Nikaidou. This is where I say that the doldrums of season 1 are absolutely necessary to get to the greatness of season 2. Rei was closed in season 1, he had met the Kawamoto family, but he was still deeply in the thralls of his depression. This is represented by what we see. Everything is disjointed because that’s how Rei feels. The Kawamoto family is disrupting his otherwise miserable mindset with their warm feelings. He actually says something along those lines and how he is afraid that if he stays in that warm house for too long, that he doesn’t feel like he will ever be able to leave. The episodes that focus on anything outside of Rei’s perspective are basically non-existent in that first season because Rei can’t see anything outside of himself. By the end of season 1, everyone has wedged a crowbar in the closed door of Rei’s heart and is craning it open by season 2. We get to see all these other people and perspectives because narratively, Rei has taken the blinders off and is not oblivious to the world around him. In a grand storytelling sense, this must have been the author’s intention. It’s almost a travesty to break this show up into seasons because the narrative is on such a grand scale, you can’t even begin to fathom the scope until you are at least 30 episodes deep. It’s downright genius storytelling and I will forever be grateful that I never stopped watching so that I could get to the point where I am now. I’m absolutely going to read the manga so I can see this story through to it’s true end.

Verdict:

P.S. I didn’t want to interrupt my grand explanation, but I think it’s so incredible how the timeline is also realistically portrayed. Take Chiho, for example, she was bullied so violently that she had to be committed. Several months down the line, she hasn’t recovered from this trauma. Even seeing her close friend who never bullied her, Hina, can only be done in a short spurt because emotionally she is still healing and will be for an unforeseen amount of time. I just can’t applaud this realistic representation of mental health enough. It’s treated with such delicacy.

P.S.S. Why is everyone so mean to Shimada!? He’s so sweet and he’s working so hard. All the outreach he does for the elderly community back in his home town and even just for the shoji community is mind boggling on top of the severe and debilitating gastritis that he has. I remember thinking when he was going up against Yanagihara, that even though I liked Yanagihara, I’d just invested too much of my heart into Shimada to be able to root for anyone else. This show loves proving me wrong because I was completely swayed to Yanagihara and literally pushed back a deadline so that I could watch the finale of their match. I’m so glad he’s the eternal Kishou, I’m sorry Shimada!!!

P.S.S.S. The revelation that Souya is partially deaf was so stunning to me that I actually had to stop watching and take a walk. It is incredibly genius. I never saw it coming a million miles away. The comparison to when you’re a prodigy at something that people are able to look the other way when it comes to idiosyncrasies is mind boggling. I was right there with Rei as I watched Souya come down from being a shoji deity to being a regular person and it was such a delight to watch my perspective change along with the characters. It’s an incredible hand that crafts a story that can sway a reader so accurately.

P.S.S.S.S.

IT WAS CALLED MARCH TOWN THE WHOLE TIME!? I shit you not, I had just told my partner around episode 20 of season 2 that while the show had skyrocketed in quality, I couldn’t figure out why the hell ‘March’ comes in like a lion! I’m so mad at the reveal.

#march comes in like a lion #anime #me #anime review #review

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justanotherlifeff · 4 years

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Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes

After your mom and dad were dead, you promised yourself that you won't get attached anymore. They were the only people you trusted except Commander Erwin. You joined the training camp at the age of 16 in hopes for becoming a Survey Corp soldier like your mentor, Commander Erwin. You knew that your parents would've been proud of you if you gave your life up for humanity like they did.

You were made to stand in a line while Ex Commander and now, Instructor of the trainee corps, Shadis was giving a speech about how hard training could be. You weren’t paying much attention because you knew how hard it could get. You got personal training from Commander Erwin anyway. You were told that you would do a training exercise where you would balance on two ropes so that you can use the 3DMG. You personally were looking forward to this as that's the only thing Erwin didn't teach you and you liked learning new things. You easily balanced on the ropes like most of the cadets. You noticed this other girl with black hair who was really good at this too. You assumed that maybe getting to know her won't be a bad idea. There was only one person who fell face down on the ropes. The instructor shouted at him and dismissed everyone.

That night, the guy who fell down talked about seeing titans. Apparantly his mother was eaten by one. You got bored when he started talking about how he wanted revenge and told him, "Would revenge really bring your mother back? It's pointless to think about revenge when you get nothing out of it. If you want to kill titans, do it for humanity. That's the reason I'm here." The boy got all mad and said "You wouldn't understand how it feels to see your mother getting killed!". That's when this other guy said something that made you regret talking at all. He said "Ofcourse she wouldn't know. She is a murderer herself. I don't know why they even let her into the training after she killed that Garrison soldier. She's a fucking traitor.". This did hit a nerve but you remained calm and kept your usual straight face and replied "Well, maybe you should be scared of me then. You must know how I killed that man" and with that, you walked away. You decided that maybe keeping to yourself was probably the better choice as you sat outside the house assigned for cadets on the porch. That's when the black haired girl sat beside you with that stupid boy who talked earlier about revenge. "Sorry. I didn't know." said the boy but you didn't reply. "My name is Mikasa and he's Eren. He can be a bit childish at times. Please don't mind that. What's your name?" asked the black haired girl. "(Y/N)" you replied. After a pause, you muttered, "It's okay".

1 year later

The people from the cadet corps started getting friendlier to you with time. You avoided most of them though as making friends wasn't your objective. You stayed close to Mikasa and Eren, even if you found Eren absolutely immatured due to his big talk upon how titans aren't a big deal. One thing you had learnt from Erwin was that to never underestimate your foes. You were already excelling in every aspects of military training, with you and Mikasa being on the same level in most cases, except 3DMG training, where you apparantly were prodigious due to your light weight and aerobic skills, which made you extremely agile. The instructor was greatly pleased with your progress and your disciplined nature and was surprised when he heard about your intentions for joining the survey corps. "With skills like yours, you can easily get into the interior military police, Cadet (L/N). Are you sure that you want to put your life at stake for humanity?" he asked you one day. "Sir, my life is as meaningless as it could be and I would rather put it at stake for humanity's victory. That way, there may be some meaning to my existance." you answered him. "The survey corps need more brave soldiers like yourself, Cadet (L/N). Only then, perhaps, humanity can retake wall Maria and be victorious against the titans." the instructor replied to it. You leaned on the fence of the courtyard of the cadet corps training grounds, watching everyone practice hand to hand combat. This was a regular routine among the soldiers. There were people like Eren who were serious about this, people like Sasha and Connie, who fooled around, people like Jean, who thought it's pointless to learn hand to hand combat and people like yourself and Annie, who didn't bother hurting others as both of you were too good at this. However, today was different as it seemed like Mikasa challenged Annie onto a hand to hand combat. Mikasa was strong and good at what she did but Annie was more agile, and she didn't rely on the typical fighting techniques taught at the trainee corps. Her fighting pattern was unpredictable, something Erwin did during your sword fight lessons with him, the ones where you never won against him. The fight was eventually stopped by Instructor Shadis, as they were almost killing eachother. The fight was going clearly on Mikasa's favour though. You made a mental note to yourself that you would fight Mikasa the next day, just to brush up your hand to hand combat skills.

The next day

You did exactly what you had planned. You challenged Mikasa and both of you were on your battle stances now. You went for your usual defensive position as Mikasa charged at you. You tried using her height to topple her but she got your hand and tried to get you down with her. You figured that there was a possibility of that happening and you were prepared for it as you fell over her and immediately twisted yourself in position, grabbing the wooden knife from her hand as her hand weakened while she fell down. You used your leg to secure her hand while you were in safe distance from her legs, near her chest as you pointed the knife to her neck. "I win" you muttered with a monotoned voice before you helped her get up and shook hands with her. "That was a good fight." Mikasa replied with a stoic expression. That's when the other cadets started begging you to fight Annie. You decided not to disappoint them and challenged Annie.

As you both went into your stances, you noticed that Annie was going defensive. You decided to change your usual tatics and went into an offensive stance. You charged towards Annie and you noticed that she would use your weight against you. As she picked you up, trying to throw you off, you wrapped your legs around her shoulder and brought her down. The wooden knife went flying from her hand and you caught it, pointing at her neck as you held her hands at her back. You helped her up after that and before she walked away, you told her, "Oi Annie, could you show me that move of yours that you taught Eren?". " Why should I? You're already better than I am at this." she asked with a frown. "I'd rather be on the safe side by knowing as much self defence as I can" you answered. "Aren't you joining the survey corps? You wouldn't need all these against titans anyway." Annie told me, her frown getting deeper. "The most that titans could do to me is kill me. I'm not afraid of death. What I'm afraid of are humans. They can make you suffer things worse than death and I would like to avoid that." you answered. "Very well, this is how you do it" Annie told you as she approached you to show you her moves.

A week later

"Oi (Y/N)! Instructor Shadis is calling for you! He commanded me to do the mopping for today and gave you a day off... How the hell do you always get off work like that?" Eren grumbled as he approached you. You had cleaning duties for the mess hall today and you were mopping the floor when Eren came running at you. You were dismissed from cleaning duties a few times before as well because Commamder Erwin, or as you called him, Uncle Erwin came to visit. You usually call him Uncle Erwin when the two of you are in private but you supposed that you should stick to commander infront of others to maintain the formality now that you joined the military. However, you never were in a situation where you had to call him commander before. Nonetheless, Eren took advantage of those few times you got dismissed to make up the statement that you always get excused from cleaning duties. These were exactly the reason that you found him annoying but at the same time, he was one of the few people who were nice to you and wasn't intimidated at the same time and thus, you remained friendly with him. "Thanks for the help" you muttered to him before going to report to Instructor Shadis.

"State name and business" you heard his voice from the other side of the door to his office. Being called to the Instructor's office was usually a dreadful thing for most cadets, specially Sasha, as the only reason they'd get called was to get punished because of their stupidity. You, however, were never called in for indiscipline and instead you usually were called to meet Erwin, to discuss your future career as the instructor personally talked to Erwin about your progress so that you get placed into a good squad after graduation. "It's cadet (L/N). You called me, sir." you answered. You got in the office after he told you to come in. "Sit down" he commanded you and you sat on the chair facing him. "You're at the top of the class at 3DMG training, fitness training, and now, according to the recent marked hand to hand combat training, you're at the top of the class there too. On academics, you are on a tie with cadet Arlet at most subjects except geography and history of titans since you are always in second place in those subjects. On the other hand, you are terrible with horses. If you can improve one of the two, you can be the first of the class but if your skills with horses don't improve, you can give up your dream of joining the survey corps." he told you. "I understand sir but, I don't know how to make those horses like me when all they want to do is kick me." you answered in a monotoned voice. "Yes, I noticed that. I will assign you with cadet Braus. She is gifted with animals. She can help you out with getting one of those horses in control. Your training starts from tommorow. You are dismissed." Instructor shadis told you before dismissing you.

The next week

"Here, take these" with that, Sasha handed you a basket of apples. Apples were expensive now but it seemed like there was no other option than to bribe the horses into liking you. Sasha tried all other ways possible to make those horses like you but they all were only interested in kicking you. "Now, take an apple in your hand and give it to the horse. The worst that could happen is that you would get bitten." Sasha explained with a smile. That was the only horse that decided not to kick you the last day. Sasha thought that this horse wasn't hostile while you thought that the horse was having pity on you. You held your hand out to the horse with the apple and surprisingly, the horse ate the apple and not your hand. After feeding it a few more apples, the horse let you pat it's head. "See? She isn't too bad" Sasha told the horse while grooming it. You finally got a horse to like you. That seemed like a big progress given that you can't easily even get people to like you.

2 years later

It was the combat stimulated graduation test and you were to be graded on the results of this one. You were clearly the best among the team. You were quick to learn a lot of 3DMG tricks that many couldn't learn. Instructor Shadis was really proud of you and taught you as much as you could possibly know. During the training exercise, you easily flew through the woods and struck 6 out of the 10 titan dummies before anyone else. Two with the assistance of Mikasa, who was a good friend. Eren was good at flying but his cuts weren't deep enough. You were easily the first among all the cadets and Instructor Shadis compared you to Levi Ackerman who now is known as the strongest soldier of humanity. You haven't seen him for 8 years since he became a captain and moved inside Wall Rose. Then again, you never really talked to him so it didn't matter. Given that he did make quite a name for himself, you didn't mind getting compared to him.

The morning after the graduation ceremony was really awkward. After Eren's speech about saving humanity, most of the top 10 soldiers decided to join the Survey Corps. You had to admit, that guy has some really good potential in convincing people even if his own emotions always mess things up. Being emotional is what made them not get the first position. Anyway, you all were standing on the wall when everyone was talking about joining the Survey corps. Sasha even stole some meat for you all to share and then, suddenly the colossal titan appeared yet again. You didn't see it the first time but seeing it now made you genuinely terrified. Like the last time, it kicked a hole in the wall and you saw Eren charge at it, trying to fight it. You knew he couldn't because that thing was too big to fight. But ofcourse, Eren is an idiot. Surprisingly, it disappeared just before Eren got the finishing blow. Eren got back up on the wall, apologising for not being able to kill the colossal titan just as a garrison soldier ran towards you all. "What are you trainees doing? The strategy for dealing with a colossal titan appearance is already in motion! Report to your posts on the double! And if any of you made contact with it, make a report to HQ!" he commanded everyone as other garrison soldiers arrived. "Hai!" you all answered before flying towards the HQ.

You found Mikasa on the way after reporting to the captain of the Garrison as she was looking for Eren and Armin. The both of you searched for them and found Armin having a panic attack while Eren comforting him as they were filling gas tanks. You understood how Armin felt, you were scared too but this wasn't the time to let your fears get the best of you. You remained calm and quiet when you got assigned to the rear guard with the most Elite soldiers. Mikasa was also selected in the rear guard much to her dismay. She wanted to protect Eren but there wasn't much of an option here. You all got into position, watching the civilians being evacuated. The titans didn't reach this part of the town yet. After waiting for a while, you could see 7 titans, three 12 meter class, two 10 meter class, one 3 meter class and one 8 meter class, approaching. The middle guard wasn't doing a good job for sure. It seemed that two of those titans were abnormals that ran past us in sheer speed. "Hey you all! Get those abnormals! I'll take care of these" you shouted to your squad members. A man from Garrison shouted with hesitation, "You're just a cadet! You don't have the experience to take on 5 titans at once!". " I can! Don't waste time! Just go!" you shouted at them with authority in your voice. The look in your eyes told them that you were being serious and they went after the two abnormals. You took out your blades and gracefully flew up with my 3DMG, making perfect strokes on the nape of the titans.

You stood on a roof of a building, looking at the blood steaming up from your sleeves. This reminded you of familiar memory. The only thing different was that the blood didn't steam up back then. "Oi cadet (L/N)! The evacuation is complete! Get out of here!" our squad leader shouted at you. "I'm going to see how the middle guard is doing." Mikasa shouted at the leader as she zoomed past you. You decided to follow the leader's orders and get over the wall. You knew Eren's safety was important for Mikasa but you barely had any gas in your tank after taking down those titans and you assumed that you should make the rational decision and try to survive.

To be continued

[Author's note: I kinda wrote this fanfiction last year and that's when I actually first started writing which is why it may not be as good as the stuff I write now]

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing

#levi aot #levi heichou #levi ackerman #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #levi attack on titan #aot fanfiction #aot

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-15th Place

The fifteenth place is a tie, primarily because both of these shows are equally good, in my opinion. Some of you might disagree with me, but to that I say-

ALL ABOARD THE HATE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO!

#15-We Bare Bears (2015-2020)/Big City Greens (2018-)

The Plot(s): Both shows involve an unorthodox family trying to fit in with what’s considered normal. In We Bare Bears, it’s three brother bears (Grizz, Panda, and Ice Bear) trying to fit in with modern society. And in Big City Greens, it’s a family of farmers (Cricket, Tilly, Bill, and Gramma) trying to adjust to city life after the family farm got sold due to low profits. In both shows, these characters make new friends, go on wacky adventures, and learn that they’ll always be okay as long as they’re together.

Aside from that brief description, I can sum up these shows in two words: Charmingly simplistic. There’s no intense continuity, no ongoing story arcs, or even an evilly evil villain hoping to take over the world...for the most part. These are just two different shows, with two types of families trying to get by in life. And honestly, it’s those families that make these shows work.

The dynamic between the bears in We Bare Bears is what makes the show so charming to watch. These three actually act like brothers (from what I’ve been told. I, unfortunately, don’t have brothers), and seeing their brotherly bond does nothing less than putting a smile on my face. Plus, the loyalty they have for each other is downright heartwarming, especially when the series flashes back to when they were kids.

And while I can’t entirely say that the Green family has the same amount of charm to them, there is one thing that I love. And that’s the fact that (kinda spoiler warning) they are an almost complete family in a Disney cartoon, with both parents being a prominent role in the series. Yes, Bill and Nancy are divorced, but that doesn’t mean Nancy isn’t around for her kids. She shows up frequently after her introduction and even gives off an impression that she’s a semi-good mom. In fact, Bill and Nancy seem to still have a level of respect for each other despite missing their old spark. It’s almost as if the writers are trying to say that not all divorces mean the destruction of a family, which I can respect. Because it can teach kids to not be afraid of the “D” word (kinda spoilers over).

But it’s not just the main characters that shine in these shows. The members of the supporting cast in We Bare Bears have a level of likability and depth. Chloe is often outgoing and laid back when she’s with the bears, who fails to make any other connections due to being a child prodigy. Ranger Tabes is often audacious and enjoyably energetic while also taking pride in her work and feels hurt when she thinks she’s not taken seriously. Then there are Charlie and Nom Nom, who have a level of charm to them. Despite being intended to come off as annoying and unlikable. Even the background characters are impressive due to the diversity of cultures and races that a viewer can see in each episode.

As for Big City Greens, the characters do not really have any depth outside of the main cast. What you see is pretty much what you get with most of these characters, aside from maybe Gloria, but even then, it’s only on occasion. Big City Greens also dodges showing diversity by having everyone be a shade of bright pastel colors. But I give credit to the show for having the first gay couple in a Disney cartoon...even though they get dropped by season two and are never fully confirmed as gay. Which pales in comparison to Luz and Amity from The Owl House, but it was at least a start! Sometimes, you gotta take baby steps before taking leaps ahead of the game. And don’t get me wrong, while I still prefer characters who have depth, that doesn’t mean I hate the characters in Big City Greens. Everyone does their job of adding to the story and making audiences laugh. In fact, making audiences laugh is what I would say Big City Greens does better than We Bare Bears.

Now in fairness. We Bare Bears is pretty funny from time to time. However, when it comes to which series makes me laugh the most, I have to pick Big City Greens. The first few episodes alone had me laughing much more than most of We Bare Bears' first season. It also helps that the show has a very random sense of humor elevated by the show’s energy. But I'll give it to you that comedy is subjective, and there are a couple of jokes that don’t work in Big City Greens. The best example is when the show lingers too long on a joke that didn’t really work as much as the writers thought it did. But that does not change the fact that Big City Greens is still a pretty funny show.

However, while We Bare Bears lacks comedy, it more than enough makes up for it with charm. This show is downright delightful to watch in almost every episode. Rarely do I feel anger when watching this series (which I wish I could say about previous/future entrees), and it has everything to do with the cast. I wasn’t kidding when I said that even intentionally annoying characters have a level of charm and likeability to them. In fact, the only bad episodes are when they begin to act uncharacteristically cruel and selfish. Mostly because those words could not be farther from a definition of We Bare Bears.

However, if I had to pick out the major fault that We Bare Bears have, it’s the fact that the show plays things a little too safe. For instance, whenever the show tries to go dark, it is pretty tame compared to other shows. The best example is how nearly every dangerous predator in this series somehow looks adorable. Wolfs, snakes, and even cougars (the big cats, not the middle-aged women) are somehow drawn to be cute and cuddly. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want a show to make kids think that dangerous woodland creatures like these are something you could just give a belly rub. I understand that this is a kids' show, but Big City Greens not only has the same rating, but it’s on the Disney Channel. And yet, it feels like that show has bigger cajones than the series formerly on the same network as Regular Show. That is not a good thing.

Going back to Big City Greens, I can sum up every problem I have with this show with one character: Cricket Green. Now I don’t entirely hate Cricket...but I’m willing to bet other people will. I can tell that the show is trying to make him a lovable little rascal that’s sort of a mix of Bart Simpson and Timmy Turner. But in the end, I think he causes more damage than either of those characters have in their entire lives. Cricket claims how sorry he is at the end of every episode, but I doubt he learns his lesson. We Bare Bears has a similar problem with Panda, but even when Panda is at his most selfish, he doesn’t do anything harmful to anyone but himself (except in the episode “Braces," but we don’t need to talk about that). Plus, even when he does go a tad too far, Panda’s voice actor (Bobby Moynihan) does a great job at making Panda seem sincere when he’s apologizing for his actions. Not to mention that Bobby gives a sense of realism and relatability with most of Panda’s lines. Then there is Cricket’s voice actor, Chris Houghton, an adult man trying to voice a child. I understand the logic behind using an adult over a kid (this happens more times than you think), but I feel like I would get the impression that Cricket is an innocent kid who doesn’t know better if he actually sounded like a kid.

In the end, neither of these shows are really that impressive compared to others. Thankfully with good comedy, charm, and great characters, they still manage to be really good for all ages. So while We Bare Bears and Big City Greens may not be as big as any other show in the last decade, they’re still good enough that you might just bear it!

(Two for one! I told you I would make up the embarrassment that was Dan Vs.!)

#top 20 of 2010s #we bare bears #big city greens #what i thought about

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ilguna · 4 years

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Whist - Chapter One

summary: you can’t protect her forever.

Word Count; 6.5k

Warnings; swearing

NOTES: not a finnick odair x reader. it’s a ‘what if’ series

–

“Good morning.” Finnick’s voice is rough, tired.

You pause the pencil right where it is, looking over to him. He’s got his eyes half-open, squinting at you through the sun rays that are running through the window. For a moment, he lifts himself to see what you’re doing, and then he rests back against the pillow, back to the window.

“Good morning.” you place the pencil down temporarily, running your hand over his forehead, “Still feeling unwell?”

“Little feverish.” he admits, “Nothing I can’t handle. The Capitol will have all the medicine I need, anyway.”

“If you say so.” you give him a sweet smile, turning back to the black book.

You read over the words, trying to recollect your thoughts. After reading over the sentence a third time, it picks up in your mind. You finish it, write the date down, and then close the book for good. You’ll pick it back up when you get back from the Capitol.

“Do you know the time?” Finnick asks.

You turn to the nightstand, sliding the book--with the pencil neatly tucked between the pages--and check the time, “Little past seven. The whole house is awake already.”

“Little past seven?” he repeats, “Maybe I should stay home.”

“It’s likely the medicine that made you sleep in so late, honey.” you say sweetly, slipping out of the bed, “Either way, you have to be there for the reaping. Better not drag your feet.”

“Right.” he agrees, “Start up the shower?”

“Of course.” you agree, heading into the bathroom. You lean into the shower, turn on the faucet to warm, and then leave.

“I’m going to help Alyssum. It’s her first year and all.” you go back over to Finnick, crawling onto the bed long enough to kiss him, “Gotta reassure her and everything.”

“The first is always the worst.” he says.

“Yes, it is.” you agree, “I’ll be back up, holler if you need something.”

“Will do.” he sighs, and right when you make it to the bedroom door, he calls your name. You turn to look at him, seeing a smile on his face, “I love you.”

You smile back, “I love you too, Finn.”

You head out of the room after that, closing the door but not entirely. There’s a small gap between the frame and the door itself. Just in case he does yell, you’ll be able to hear him from the entire house.

Knocking on Alyssum’s door, you wait patiently for her to answer. She doesn’t say anything, opting for swinging the door wide open for you to see her instead. Her eyes are wide, and she’s got two dresses hanging from her arm.

“I don’t know which to choose.”

She holds them up for you to see. The dress on the left is baby pink, with white accents. There’s a ribbon that runs along the middle, and in the back it can be used to tie it up. Like an apron. The dress is long-sleeved, which might be awful in this weather, but even Finnick had managed to catch a cold.

You have a feeling that it might be because of all the time he’s been spending out on the water lately with Reed, Mox and Caspian. You warned all of them to take a coat, just in case they were to fall into the water and get frozen. But none of them listened, and now your husband is at the end of a nasty bug.

The other possibility is that he caught it while he was in the square--the black market of District Four. Again, lately he’s been out there with the boys doing god knows what. But you heard from Mags that people have been catching colds, and with how jam-packed the square is constantly, he probably got it there.

You’re just glad that Mox and Reed seem to be in good health.

The pink dress also has a nice trim along the bottom. When you reach out to run the fabric between your fingers, it’s soft. Might even be easily damaged. Things will easily stick to it, but at least it’ll be warm. You can already picture the possibilities of accessories that she could pair with this.

As for the second dress, it’s strangely familiar. You can’t place your finger on it though, even while you look over the material. It’s a little more stiff, a slight gold color. Black trim and ribbon, and it’s not long-sleeved. It’s got the arms of a regular t-shirt.

“What’s the weather like today?” you ask her.

“Hot.” she says, “It’ll start warming up around the time we leave.”

“Which is what? Eleven? Twelve?”

She nods.

“Then I’d say to go with the gold dress.” you pick it up from her fingers and hold it against her body, “Make sure you choose something black that will go with it.”

“If I find a black ribbon, will you tie it in my hair?” she asks hopefully.

“I’ll do your hair entirely.” you promise, “All Capitol fancy.”

Alyssum has a smile spread over her face, “Okay.”

She turns back into her room, shutting the door. Turns out she’s not as nervous as you thought.

As you go down the steps, you come to realize that she doesn’t really have a reason to be afraid. She’s surrounded by older people who have either been inside of the games or trained relentlessly in case they would be. And when Alyssum finally turned ten two years ago, all of you jumped on her back at once.

Of course, she’s been being fed little things since she was seven. You started out with the easy things, like how to tie the ‘fun’ knots, and how to start a fire. And ever since, you had a theme with the year. When she turned eight, if she wasn’t in school, she was on a boat with you and Finnick learning to fish or she was tying knots. She was already a strong swimmer, so there wasn’t much to worry about with that.

When she turned nine, you took it upon yourself to teach her how to use a knife. Places to hide one, how to get it out easily. You bought her a pocket knife from the square for her to have. Even if she wouldn’t be allowed to have it at school, it was good practice. She carries it with her everywhere now.

That same year, you and Finnick had taught her how to use a spear, which she didn’t like very much. So then, you two switched to the swords. And you’re talking about the illegal ones also from the square. However, you weren’t buying them, you were only borrowing them from some old gal that you’ve known for a while now.

On top of the sword, someone offered up a bow in trade for teaching his daughter how to do it in a way that would make her want to learn how. Then someone else pitched in a dummy and a couple of target stands. That summer was by far the craziest.

Then she turned ten, and you started to teach her other things. You wanted to ease her into the idea of having to kill someone. So, instead you taught her the anatomy of the body. You showed off exactly where the major arteries were and told her that if she were to ever get hurt there, she would have to act quick.

You didn’t have the heart to tell her that she’d likely die unless she knew what she was doing with medical stuff. So, you brought her to the local clinic that year and convinced some of the staff to allow her to watch how it was done. In return, you funded some medical supplies.

You thought it would be better if she learned it straight from a professional. Especially with practices like District Four’s. They’ve all been handed down from generation to generation. All the shortcuts to getting better, the medicines to avoid--namely morphling because of how addictive it is--and what to and not to do.

She learned how to do stitches, and by the time the school started up again in the fall, she answered all your questions flawlessly. When you asked her how to treat stab wounds, the words would come from her mouth before she realized it. At first, she thought it was embarrassing, until everyone around her was so excited.

Reed had thought you were the prodigy, with how you learned and never complained. But with Alyssum, she was always so eager to learn more. And the way she retained information too was a big deal. No matter the situation, if you ask her a question about a past lesson, she’ll know it.

When she turned eleven last year, that’s when you started to get more serious. More survival skills that would help her in the long run. What berries looked like, what leaves looked like. What food would be useful inside of the arena, the three rule especially.

And with her turning twelve this year, you finally decided that she couldn’t be babied any longer. She could like all the little kid stuff, but she’s eligible for the games. The chances of her getting picked on her first year are so slim that you won’t even consider the possibility. But you took the precaution of teaching her how to fight anyway.

Most of the time it was plastic swords and knives. You’d set up a mock hunger games with you, Finnick, Reed, Mox, Caspian and his family, and her just a little outside the gates of victor’s village. In the middle would lay everything that she would need. And you focused on the if factor. If she ran to the middle rather than away, she would have to act quick.

None of you went easy on her. You all might have tens of years of age on her. It’s clearly unfair with the first thought. Then the second rolls in. That the career kids have been taught this stuff since they were young. This is their first nature. They’re going to think like the predators. They’re going to be bigger than her, smarter than her, and more skilled than her.

And hell, they wouldn’t give a damn if she was twelve or seventeen. If they were to see her face, they would go straight for the kill. Unless she made allies.

At first, Alyssum wasn’t any good at the fighting, but she gradually got better. She’s fairly shorter than all of you, so the first place she goes when she swings is the legs. It’s not a bad move.

You’re just happy that after everything that has happened, she’s realized that running to the middle is always the biggest gamble. Reed and Mox are sure to enforce that every year when they’re in front of the television set. They point out every little mistake of the tributes that run to the middle.

So now, she roots for the people that run away and get frustrated with those who head in.

Anyway, as you were saying, she has no reason to be afraid. She’s been growing up with it for a while now. The questions, the training, the lessons, the mock hunger games. She’s no professional, and she’s still got a lot to learn, but she’s getting there.

It’s not like she has much to worry about this year. Her name is going to be in there only once. As the years climb--you’ll start to worry. Until then, she knows as much as you can afford to teach her.

She’s even had practice with real weapons. Ones that can kill.

“How’s Alyssum doing?” Mox asks, he’s waiting at the bottom of the staircase, nibbling on his fingers. You reach over, pulling them from his mouth.

“Getting dressed. You should too. The hosts might talk about us since Alyssum is now eligible for the games.”

In the kitchen is Reed, hovering over a plate of pancakes. On the stove sits a pot, and when you take a peek, you’re able to see that it’s soup for Finnick.

“Are we still quarantining Finnick?” Reed asks.

“He’s feeling better today, so I think he can come down.” you reach over for the coffee, thanking Reed when he passes over the cream, “But he might stay home this year. I think he’s still sore.”

“He nearly died, so it makes sense.” Reed says, “Looked like you when you had typhoid.”

You pause for a moment, raising your head as you think.

You suppose that’s right. He was pale, it was hard for him to move but he made a point to. He didn’t like it when you fussed over him and consistently insisted that you spent your day doing something else rather than showing fantastic bedside manner. To no avail, though. You don’t have much to do these days besides show Alyssum how things are done.

“Strange.” you tell Reed, raising the coffee to your lips. The cream has cooled it considerably, and you’re able to drink the entire thing without burning your tongue.

You grab another mug of it for Finnick, since he’s going to need all the energy he can get with how he is. The medicine that the clinic had prescribed him has made him all sorts of tired. Which he can’t really afford to be today, or any other reaping day. It would be awful for the cameras to zoom in on him and make fun of him the same way they do Haymitch.

Mox has joined the kitchen, and you pass him on your way out. You go up the stairs and straight to the bedroom. You can hear the occasional large splatter of water as Finnick rinses his hair. You knock on the door once or twice, slipping inside.

“Brought coffee.” you tell him.

The sliding door opens and he holds his hands out for the mug. You pass it over, watching as he does the exact same thing that you did. And when he’s done, he gives it right back with a smile.

“Thank you.”

“Want more?” you ask.

“I’ll get more when I go downstairs.”

“Alright.” you grab a few things out of the bathroom drawers. A brush, some hair ties, a curling iron, hairspray.

All while you’re grabbing these things, you can’t help but to feel a little guilty. The reaping is no time to look pretty. With a brand new dress and nicely done hair, it’ll make it look like you’re glorifying the games.

But everyone has to know that you’d never do such a thing. You haven’t taken the games lightly ever. You take your job seriously, and you showed them when you sacrificed thousands of dollars just to get medication inside of the arena for Annie. Without a single clue of knowing whether or not it would actually work.

Alyssum gets nice dresses because she doesn’t have to take hand-me-downs anymore. They’re not expensive in any way, and they’re not imported from the Capitol either. None of your clothing is. Hell, you’re supporting the local businesses, the ones that struggle without you going in to buy a new pair of socks or shoes or underwear for your family.

And you might as well spoil Alyssum, because she’ll never have to live through what you older kids had to. She’ll never have to worry about selling the living room furniture, pawning off family jewels and getting rid of her toys just to make that month’s rent.

“When are you getting ready?” Finnick asks, shutting off the shower.

“After I do Alyssum’s hair.” you tell him, “How are you feeling?”

“A little better, but still sick.”

“We could always tell the peacekeepers that you’re sick, since you are.”

Finnick frowns a bit, drying off his body with a towel, “Then that would seal my fate on not going.”

“I want you to heal.” you press a hand to his chest, “And you can’t do that if you’re running around with me in the Capitol.”

“I’ll manage. I don’t want to miss Alyssum's first reaping anyway.”

“Whatever you say.” you give him a smile, “Your coffee mug is on the counter. When you go downstairs, make sure to tell Mox everything is fine. Don’t go to Mags or Annie’s without me.”

“Sure.” he says, and pulls you in for a quick kiss.

Once you pull away, you leave the bathroom, then the bedroom. Down the hall and straight to Alyssum’s bedroom. You hardly knock before opening the door, revealing Alyssum to be standing in front of a mirror. She’s already got her black shoes on.

“Can you tie the back ribbon?” she asks.

You set everything down on the bed, tying the ribbon, and then getting her seated in front of the mirror. You pull half of her hair up loosely, putting the hair tie in. Then, you neatly tie the ribbon around the bands. After, you begin to curl her hair at the ends.

“Ask me questions.” Alyssum insists.

You give a smile, “What are the ways to clean water?”

“Boiling, iodine or a few drops of chlorine, but not enough to get you sick.” Alyssum says.

“Why do we clean water?”

“To get rid of the bacteria, otherwise we can end up with a ton of viruses--like typhoid, cholera, salmonella and a couple of others. They become more deadly the longer they’re untreated.”

“How can we start a fire?”

“Flint and a rock, typically.” she thinks for a moment, “A lighter, matches if it’s available. Sticks. Or glass and the sun, but that takes a while.”

“Name the big arteries.” you let a curl fall, shaking the hairspray and then spraying it on.

“The one in your neck, on your thighs and the arms.” she says.

“If someone pins you down, how do you get free?”

“Buck your hips and then flip on top of the person.” she says.

“What’s the one berry you don’t want to ever eat inside of the arena?”

This one takes her a moment, “...nightlock?”

“Yes.” you smile at her through the mirror, “What does it look like?”

“They appear black, but once squished they’re red.”

“Alright, why don’t we run to the cornucopia?”

“Easy, because the careers go there, and since I’m small, I won’t make it. So, I go when they’re not there instead.”

You’re proud of her for this. To know that she should wait until the careers have gone out and started their hunting. They go out at night, looking for easy fires to catch. Kill the easy tributes. Depending on how far they’ve gone away from the cornucopia, they’ll either head back or stay in the woods for a night. Then they’ll pick up where they left off, and end up right back at the cornucopia by the end of the night.

“All done.” you tell her.

She turns her head in the mirror, looking at what you’ve done for her. She springs to her feet and takes you in for a long hug. When she lets go, you gather your things to head back to the bedroom so you can get ready yourself.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.” you tell her, “Go study with Finnick some, okay?”

She beams, and follows you out the door. She takes a turn for the stairs and you head to your bedroom. You shut the door behind you, drop everything off in the bathroom, then pick out a simple outfit. Once it’s all neatly laid out, you take your shower, cleaning your hair.

You dry it, carefully dry as much as you can, and then you leave the rest to air-dry. You pull on the simple flowing tank top with the stitched back. Then the black jeans and a pair of nice tennis shoes. Showing up to the reaping in casual clothing stopped being a heinous act a while ago.

Finally, you go downstairs. Alyssum is eating breakfast, Finnick is enjoying a second or maybe a third cup of coffee, asking Alyssum questions. Every now and then, the other two will pitch in. Once Finnick realizes you’re there, the two of you pack up some breakfast for Mags and head out the door.

“She’s getting better.” Finnick says, “I had her show me a few knots. She’s got quick fingers.”

“I hope so.” you laugh, he joins in.

You and Finnick enter the house after a couple of knocks so Mags can know that you’re there. She’s already waiting in her living room, a book in her hand. You and him wait patiently in the doorway. She closes the book, and then gives you both a welcoming smile.

Finnick helps her to the table while you lay out Mags’ food. She sits, eats in silence while she reads. Finnick finishes his coffee, you scrunch your hair with your hand to try and give it some character.

Before you know it, you and Finnick are taking Mags back to your house, and then heading towards Annie’s. Just as you reach the door, Annie’s mom sticks her head out and shakes her head.

“Annie’s got the flu, the peacekeepers already know. Thank you, though.” she gave a kind smile and then shut the door in your face.

Right back to the house, it gave you extra time to do something to your hair and eat. So, that’s exactly what you did. Curled your hair like you did to Alyssum’s, put on a little makeup, and right back down the stairs. After breakfast, you played a memory game with Alyssum, Reed and Mox.

Then time was up, with only thirty minutes to get to the stage. All of you headed out as one big bunch. With Finnick holding your right hand and Alyssum holding onto the left. Ahead of you guys were the other victors of four--the ones that hardly glance at you all.

Since it’s Alyssum’s first year, it took a little longer to get her signed in, but right after you went to your regular spot behind the cover near the staircase up to the stage. Mags went up without you guys, but you hung back to talk to your family, as usual.

It’s the normal nonsensical stuff that wasn’t able to be fit on the walk here. Casual banter between all of you. The peacekeeper at the top of the staircase is kind enough to inform you guys when there’s ten minutes left. Time to wrap it up.

“Okay, Aly.” you hold out your arms, “How are you feeling?”

She throws herself into your arms, squeezing tightly, “Little nervous, but it’s natural, right?”

“Yes it is, and it’s okay to be nervous.” you kiss the top of her head.

Mox, Reed and Finnick move in to join the hug. You all hold tight for a moment, and then pull away.

“I’ll make sure to stand so you can see me.” Alyssum promises.

“Sounds good to me.” you give her one last smile, “Good luck.”

Reed takes her hand when she turns around, waving goodbye. You and Finnick head up the cracked stone steps, nodding to the peacekeeper when you pass him. The two of you make your way over to where the victors, mayor and Elysia sits. You sit between Finnick and Elysia.

“Alyssum’s first year.” Elysia whispers.

“Yes it is, she’s grown so much.” you tilt your head a little.

Alyssum has found a friend, and the two of them are talking about Aly’s hair for a moment. Then, they bid your bothers goodbye, heading to the twelve year old section, right up from. They slide in right in place, and just as she promised, you have a clear look at them.

Aly and her friend hold hands, and the two of them chat while the rest of the sections. Along the outside stands parents and bystanders alike. Your brothers are where they always are, behind the boys section and standing out like sore thumbs. They’re dressed better than most of the people around them.

Right as the last few people file in, Caspian comes up beside Reed, and the two of them start talking too.

The mayor takes a deep breath, and then gets up. She readjusts her blazer as she heads to the microphone. You look over to the camera, noticing how it’s on you guys right now. There’s a long moment of eye contact before the camera is the first to break it, focusing on the mayor.

“Happy hunger games.” her voice echoes, and by her tone, you can tell she either really hates her job, or she’s tired of having to introduce the games every year.

She launches into the speech on the dark days, and to reinforce it, she shows a video made by the Capitol, narrated by Snow. It’s all required, she doesn’t have much of a choice. When the video is over, she hands it over to Elysia.

This is when a sick feeling washes over you. You fan your face with your hand, thinking that the dizziness will fade, but it only grows. The nausea is hardly bearable.

“I think I might be sick.” you admit, and Finnick apologizes. He then holds out a water bottle that he had brought just in case any of you needed it. You take a couple gulps of it, glad that it eases some of the knots in your stomach.

“Happy hunger games.” Elysia says, her voice isn’t as excited this year. You can’t even see the look on her face, but you can only guess that she looks tired too, “And may the odds be ever in your favor. As usual, ladies first.”

She moves over to the girls bowl, picking out a random slip of paper. You can see Alyssum has her eyes glued to it, eyebrows drawn together. Elysia moves back over to the mic and carefully removes the black tape to reveal the name.

She inhales, like she’s going to say the name. Then, she deflates, the mic catches the wind. Elysia seems to go rigid after that, eyes glued to the paper slip between her fingers. You squint, trying to catch the name, but it’s too far away.

Ten seconds pass, then twenty. The head peacekeeper clears his throat, letting her know to get a move on. It’s enough to snap her of her daze, but when she speaks, it’s barely above a whisper.

“The girl’s tribute this year is uh--” she pauses for a moment, taking in a deep breath, but lets out half of it again before she speaks, “--Alyssum Gallows.” her voice drops out during the last time.

The two cameras on either side of the stage turn in different directions. With one looking in the crowd for your dear baby sister, and the other landing straight on you and Finnick.

You jerk in your chair like you’re going to get up, but Finnick holds you back, clearly as stunned as you are.

The air is still.

Your eyes manage to find your brothers and their friend, standing there just as stunned as you are. Mox hasn’t started to cry yet, his eyes are wide and his mouth is open. While Reed looks like he’s paled several colors, as white as a corpse.

The dizziness comes back, bigger than ever.

‘No,’ you think, not being able to bring yourself to shake your head, ‘She’s twelve. Her name is in there once, she’s twelve.’

“Come on, honey.” Elysia’s voice is soft, like silk.

Alyssum can hardly pry her fingers from her friends. She stiffly moves into the aisle where the peacekeepers are, waiting to escort her to the stage.

‘Someone volunteer. Please, someone volunteer.’

She reaches the steps and she’s careful not to scuff her brand new black shoes. When she’s at the top, her eyes find yours, and it’s almost like a reflection. The amount of horror you feel is replicated on her face. Only, she’s got tears forming, and you can’t even bring yourself to move.

“Right here.” Elysia stops her in front of the bowl, going back to the microphone, “Any volunteers?” she urges.

You’re too old to volunteer. Disregarding the fact that you’re a victor yourself, you’re too old. If you were younger, you’d be jumping right now for her. You’d go back into the arena twenty times just so she could have a normal life here.

The silence is deafening and clear; there are no volunteers and she must carry on whether she likes it or not.

Alyssum glances over her shoulder again, and you’re able to see the tears running down her face.

“Now to the boys.” Elysia is defeated, and she heads over to the boys bowl. She doesn’t dally with this one either, pulling out the name and heading to the microphone.

She removes the tape, “Rigg Estridge.”

You find yourself selfishly wishing for an older boy. But watching the way the crowd moves, it’s another twelve year old.

You bury your face in your hands, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. This can’t be happening. You can’t be getting two twelve year olds. Their first year of the reaping, and one of them is your sister.

When you look again, a short redhead with curly hair is being moved down the aisle. Without a prompt, he heads up the steps and stops in front of the boys bowl.

Once again, Elysia asks if there’s any volunteers. There’s more silence, one look to Reed and Mox tells you that they wish they were fifteen years younger too. They desperately want to be in the same boat as Alyssum like you do.

With no volunteers, Elysia tells them to shake hands. Alyssum moves forward with a shaky palm. There’s shiny tear streaks on her cheeks, but her face is serious. The boy looks more shaken than she does.

After that, it’s over. And the tributes are being escorted off stage and into the justice building. There, they will wait for their friends and family to say their final goodbyes.

You stand from your chair, running your fingers through your hair as you try to get a grip on what just happened. Finnick wraps his arms around you tightly as a hug.

“I’m going to the Capitol.” He says.

“I expected no less.” You tell him, wrapping only one arm around him.

Elysia looks even worse than she did before, “(Y/n)—I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry—“

“You didn’t know.” You tell her, eyes fluttering for a moment.

The dizziness hasn’t subsided. In fact, the world feels like it’s spinning out of control. You look to where your brothers had been, but they’re long gone. Likely trying to get to Alyssun.

“We need to see her.” You tell Finnick, “I have to be together with them all one last time.”

You make him let go, heading down the same steps that the mayor had taken, disregarding everyone that tries to reach out to you. One peacekeeper tries to offer his condolences, but you slap his hand away and move right inside of the building.

The ones guarding the door move out of the way, and when you enter the room, your brothers are already there. With you as an addition to the room, their bodies turn, and you’re running the small distance to bring them so close to your body.

“Finnick is coming with.”

“Good.” Reed says, and then they let go.

You let them talk to her since you’ll be seeing her for the next week. This is their goodbye, not yours. Not just yet.

“You listen to (Y/n).” Reed tells her, “She knows what she’s doing, and she’s going to try her hardest to get you everything you need.”

She nods, it won’t be difficult for her.

The door opens a second time, and you look over to see that not only is it Finnick, but Mags is on his arm.

“You can win.” Reed says, his hands are on her shoulders, “You’re smart, you’ve been learning all of this information for years now. The only disadvantage you have is that you’re small, but even that has advantages.”

“Mags has a token for you.” Finnick says, your brothers move aside.

Mags pulls something out of her pocket, weighing it in her hand carefully before she holds it out for Alyssum to take it out of Mags’ palm. Alyssum reaches up with shaky fingers to carefully bring the jewelry out.

There’s a special gem attached to the necklace. The gem is expensive, and you recognize it almost immediately. It’s tanzanite. And just by the look of it--how polished it is--it’s new. And it costs more than her dress. Not only all of that, you recognize it for a whole separate reason.

Like how you had your mother’s ring for your games. She’s getting mom’s most expensive necklace. One that was given to her by grandma.

Reed and Mox seem to remember too, but Alyssum has no clue. She turns the necklace over in her hand gently.

“It was mom’s.” you let her know, “And grandma’s too.”

“Oh.” her voice is soft, and she wraps her fingers around it, looking at Mags, “Thank you.”

“She was planning on surprising you with it after the reaping.” Finnick says, and you all know what he was implying. A gift for after, when she hadn’t been reaped and survived her first round. Instead, she’ll be taking it as a token now.

The doors swing open again, and you watch as Alyssum is shown some sort of affection. A kiss on the forehead, a long hug. Until the four of you are huddling in for the last time. The peacekeepers are surprisingly patient with this long goodbye.

“I love you, Alyssum.” Reed tells her, and Mox agrees, “We’ll be cheering you on.”

Reed and Mox go to leave before you, Finnick or Mags budge from where you stand. You crouch down, trying to get to her height.

“On the train station, there will be cameras. The whole country is watching us right now, so you need to do me a big favor and not cry on that platform, okay?” you fix her hair, “You can cry as soon as the doors are shut, but you need to have a brave face until then.”

“But the reaping--”

“I know about the reaping, and that’s okay. No one reacted well when you were called, not even me. It’s okay to make mistakes, but we need to start not making them anymore.”

She nods, “Yeah.”

“I have to go, okay? I’ll be at the train waiting for you. Elysia will be with you, stick close. Don’t fight the peacekeepers, they’re on our side.”

You stand up, and Aly hugs Mags for the last time. After that, the three of you are heading out. The doors slam shut behind you, rattling the door frame. Outside stands your brothers who had been waiting patiently.

You take in a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down.

“We have to start heading to the station.” Reed says, squeezing you tightly, “We’ll see you there.”

“What about Mags?”

“I can walk her.” a peacekeeper volunteers, you know who it is.

“Thank you.” you place a hand on his arm.

There’s a car that’s already waiting for the two of you. In passing, you tell Elysia that she should probably keep quiet inside of the car when it comes to the two of them. Inside the train is when you’ll introduce and begin to get them used to the idea of it all. Other than that, they just need a moment of silence to collect their thoughts.

The car ride to the train consists of you biting your nails until you finally decide to stop, knowing that your stylists friends will be upset if they have nothing to work with.

Finnick holds your hand tightly.

“The Capitol is going to love all of this.” you tell him, “(Y/n)’s little sister. The Executioner’s twelve year old sister is going inside of the games.”

“They’re probably going to be comparing you two the entire time.”

“Yes, they probably are.” you agree, “And I can’t wait to see what Caesar Flickerman has to say about all of this.”

The car makes it to the train station, you and Finnick get out, go up the steps and then into the train. You don’t stand on the platform with the tributes, Elysia does. Then, they come inside after the final glance after the reaping.

You run your fingers through your hair, taking a seat by the door.

You need to focus on her training score right now. If she scores high, then she’ll be in the clear. It’s not often the first years get something so high. They’re expected to get something so low, anything below an eight. But with all that you’ve been teaching her, she should hit the eight mark.

And if she does something flashy inside of the private session, that will increase her score, just like how it increased yours.

It’s a while before the tributes have even shown up at the train station. By the sound of it, there’s a lot of people out there. You and Finnick don’t dare to peek your heads around the corner, though. You strictly stay inside, waiting and listening for Elysia to tell them to say their goodbyes.

Another ten minutes later, their car has finally shown up, you lean your head against the wall, closing your eyes. You can hear Alyssum’s shoes against the stone steps, and how they crunch when they come to a stop.

There’s sniffling coming from someone, but you don’t think it’s Aly, but the other boy--Rigg. He doesn’t know not to cry, you weren’t there to tell him. For now, you’ll let him give off his look.

Soon, they’re being brought inside. The doors shut, and you’re hugging a crying Alyssum, pulling her onto your lap as you rub her back. You let her get it all out, telling Finnick to go ahead and start with the boy, since he doesn’t look like he knows anything.

Finnick gives you a kiss on the forehead, and then leaves with the boy to take him into a different car. Elysia has already left to do whatever, you’re not too sure what that is exactly.

You try your best to comfort Alyssum, but you can’t help but to think that she’s not going to make it. You can’t tell her that, she has to realize that for herself. But there’s eighteen year old careers waiting for her in the Capitol. There’s the older kids from other districts too, but they’re not nearly as ruthless.

Careers are taught to think of their fellow tributes as animals, not people.

You scoop up Alyssum like a baby, carrying her to your mentor room. Along the way, peacekeepers open the doors for you. When you get inside, you lay Alyssum down on the bed, and then you slide in next to her, pulling her to your side as you run your fingers through her hair soothingly.

It’s not long before she falls asleep, exhausted.

#ilguna #whist #whist chapter one #lacuna au

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in-a-cave-with · 4 years

Note

do you have any fics to recc that arent stevetony? you have the beeeest taste ilu

apparently all my comics fic bookmarks are stevetony but also all my non comic marvel fic bookmarks AREN’T stevetony so that’s just. kind of weird. also a lot of these are irondad . also i added some fics that aren’t in my bookmarks which mean this post is going to be gigantic

for good by Madelinedear"Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)rec note: this is THE marvel fic. THE fic i tell you,,,.

chocolate chip cookies (alternate words for i love you) by hopeless_hopeBeing a superhero, Tony has come to expect a lot of things. He can’t really afford to be surprised by too much; being flexible is just part of the job. Aliens attacking New York? Sure. People threatening to attack his home? Not uncommon. A teenage spider-kid baking cookies in his kitchen at almost three in the morning? Completely unexpected.rec note: PETER MAKING COOKIES NEVER MADE ME CRY SO HARD

the spider-man conspiracy by tempestaurora WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?The screen showed Peter Parker, sixteen years old and determined to prove the identity of Spider-Man over the course of the three-part documentary he was making, unknowing that it would become viral within days of the first part being released. Behind the camera, way off screen, was Harley Keener, Tony Stark’s other prodigy child, grinning like crazy as Peter started the documentary. Only a few people knew what was to come, and those few people were about to have a great few weeks.“My name is Peter Parker, and with the help of my friends, Ned Leeds, Harley Keener, and my Aunt, May Parker, who provided me with a lot of red yarn for this project, we’re going to uncover the identity of Spider-Man.”rec note: THIS FIC IS SO FUNNY!!!! I LOVE HARLEY IN FICS

5 Times Peter Made Tony Laugh Out Loud by grilledcheesing... and one time he did not.Post Spider-Man: Homecoming — Tony is just trying his damn hardest to keep this reckless kid from Queens safe, but it's hard when Peter is, occasionally, ridiculous as all hell.rec note: sof.....last chapter don’t interact....

if you love something, let it go by theprimrosepathBy now, the Avengers are well-acquainted with grief. But grief is a companion that rarely travels alone, particularly not around a prince.Really, grief is the least of Thor's problems.rec note: THOR MY POOR SON BOY SUN BOY :(((((((........

The Art of Publicity by xmypandabearAfter everything with the Accords, Tony Stark's reputation is in the toilet. Fortunately, he's got Spider-Man to make it better.(AKA Five times Peter and Tony's relationship made the internet implode a little)rec note: THIS FIC IS SO GOOD

We've Made It This Far, Kid by EmAndFandemsTony's just trying to protect the kid from SHIELD. Why does everything have to be so hard?Meanwhile, Peter's biggest problem is buying movie tickets, until he gets a harsh awakening.rec note: this fic is so good!!!!!! it feeds me in every way i want (also this was from the irondad big bang and i did art for it heyyyyy)

of nukes and goats by doingthewritethingsAs Tony find out, it’s hard to say no to teenagers who burst through a window into your lab and tell you they have made a grave mistake. (“We?” says Shuri. “There’s no ‘we’ in this mess, Pete.”)or, the one where Peter Parker buys a farm animal on a whim, and it almost leads to intergalactic doom.rec note: hey remember all the shuri & peter parker content we all made after infinity war? good times good times

We Drown Together by GalaxyThreads"...Sir?" Peter repeats, cautiously. The man licks his dry, split lips and then parts them, ragged breath escaping followed by a pleading whisper: "Help him."Odin arrives too late to save Thor and Loki from the plummet into the Void at the end of Thor 1, and both are captured and claimed by the hand of Thanos. Four years later, Peter Parker comes across two half-dead men wandering the streets of New York.rec note: this is such an interesting au!!! also, please give the brodinsons a hug.

Exclusive by copperbadgeHeroes In Manhattan: From Captain America's Hidden Talents To The Truth About The Hulk, We Debunk The Myths And Expose The Daily Lives Of The Avengers.rec note: ah yes, a classic!

Stars, Hide Your Fires by YellowDistressStarks didn't create beautiful things.They created weapons that destroyed beautiful things. That was the way it had always been.But when the four-year-old's wide eyes blinked at him, Tony was struck with the sudden realization that maybe that had been a lie.rec note: this fic is part of a rlly long series that basically entails tony adopting peter after learning he’s his dad. i don’t really read a lot of bio dad aus (me reading irondad: it’s about the found family) but this is super good! it makes me feel a LOT

buried alive by twoifT'Challa, king of the living, king of the dead, king of the in-between.The body is heavy. T'Challa's own trembles. He may not be able to support much more. He has been through so much already. Bast be with me, he curses. I have already borne so much today.But still, he carries Killmonger once more.rec note: SCREAMS i love t’challa so much

home training by theformeroneT'Chaka takes Erik back to Wakanda.Erik is a problem child.rec note: THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD!!!

Small Gods by LullabyKnell"Larger than life.They say that a lot, in the interviews and social media posts, when they talk about meeting Tony Stark. (Who’s ‘they’? Well, everybody, of course.) Shorter than they’d expected him to be, in person, but with a presence that makes him seem like... more.More than a regular celebrity, more than a man, more than a person - something big, something brilliant, something that’s already left a blazing mark on history."rec note: on god i am such a slut for tony character studies in fics

Remembering September by sunbean72As Tony confronts his past demons using BARF, Peter’s enhanced senses allow him to experience the world differently from others. When BARF malfunctions and someone needs to rescue Tony, Peter might be the only one who can save him.rec note: now that ffh came out this fic becomes uncanon but it’s canon in my heart

Stray by MemoryDragonJim Rhodes went out to get some studying done at the library. He ended up with a best friend.rec note: *clutches heart* OH

He's My... Intern? by losingmymindtonightA kid from Queens was all it took to melt the ice around Tony Stark's frozen heart.--A series of oneshots that delve into the relationship between Tony Stark and Peter Parker as their lives begin to merge.rec note: hhhhng. HHHHNG. HHHHHHH

Then How Do YOU Explain Peter? by Asphodelia“I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH A SPIDER, THOR.”rec note: this fic made me laugh really really hard. also i’m 90% sure thor’s just trolling all of them

In Your Corner by asterismsFive adults who try to be the reasonable authority figure Peter needs in his life post-homecoming and one who was there all along.rec note: UGH i have many feelings....about spidered man.....

the one where Tony breaks Captain America by singingwithoutwordsTony and Rhodey have been in a committed relationship since Tony was sixteen. This is apparently news to Steve(and also the rest of the team).rec note: why is there not more rhodeytony fic. this is a crime.

Hypothetically, I'm a Role Model by madastheseaFor lack of better options, Tony asks Clint a question about kids.rec note: yes i know mcu clint is a rat. i still adore this fic because i can tastefully ignore his canon characterization

The A-Team Challenge by Isnt_it_pretty_to_think_soTony Stark just wants to keep Peter Parker on the down low. Heaven forbid Spiderman do something stupid, like go viral.OR: Peter Parker accidently patents the superhero equivalent of the ice bucket challenge.rec note: THE only cacw fixit ever

Small Town by ifitwasribaldIn the aftermath of Extremis and the Mandarin and Killian, a town keeps Tony's secret.rec note: honestly i just. really really like tony and his potato gun son

Pretend We're In Love (The Heartache Still Hurts) by InsaneJuliannRhodey's dad is dying, and what he's always wanted is for Rhodey to be happily married. Tony and Rhodey were best friends, and haven't spoken in years. But after a chance meeting at the airport, and a desperate, insane idea on Rhodey's part, they end up pretending to be engaged.But how much of it is really pretend?rec note: rhodeytony in this fic are like. ahaha what if we fake-kissed....but we’re still secretly pining for one another...

Time Past by flute25After the events of Dark World, Loki has deposited Odin at the Shady Acres retirement community.And that - should be that.But the pull of family (not his family) is strong, and Loki soon finds himself a regular visitor at the decrepit institution.After all, Odin is enchanted, and what harm can there be in finally telling the old man what is on his mind without any repercussions?What harm, indeed?rec note: lokiiiiiiiii :((((((((

An Eggscellent Adventure by flute25Loki teaches Thor about a new Midgardian cooking method as the two sons of Asgard settle into their new home at Stark Tower.Post-Infinity War/A4. Thanos is dead, everyone else is alive, and the sun is shining on us again.rec note: LOKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

Tony Stark is the New Tokyo by CiderSkyTony Stark has a complicated relationship with moths.rec note: this is a pretty old fic but also. MOTHS FLYING AROUND THE ARC REACTOR

This Tiny Bird by battybatzgirlYou can never be too sure of what teenagers do on dates these days. Good thing Tony is excellent at being stealthy.(He's NOT overprotective. He's not.)rec note: ahhhhhhhhh

The Adventures of Captain Crowbar and Spider-Man by ciaconnaaPeter gasps. “It's like you're psychic. A super-powered brain. You sure you aren’t an Avenger, too?”“No. And the answer to the next question, 'Is Spider-Man an Avenger?' is also, no.”“I’m an honorary Avenger, Em. It’s a big deal.”“Stark comes up with fancier ways to say lackey every single day.”or;When Michelle gets mugged and hit over the head with a crowbar, she's gifted with a concussion. It's not a fun time. Luckily, she has Spider-Man's number.rec note: this starts out as spideychelle but is part of a series that’s a mcu/brooklyn nine nine crossover which makes me so happy

the sky collapsed but the stars remain by ciaconnaaOn the day of the Snap, Harley Keener watches his mother turn to dust.With a duty to look after his younger sister, the two of them abandon the wilting town of Rose Hill in search of Tony Stark. Because if Harley helped him before, he can damn well help him again. Tony's a mechanic. He fixes things.To put it simply, they have to fix this.rec note: oh, my feelings,

...two birdbrained heroes and a spider in a stark tree by ciaconnaaThis year, the first Christmas after Thanos, the Avengers decide to do gifts by simply doing a Secret Santa for their Christmas party. And it's just Peter's luck that he drew Mr. Stark's name.rec note: THIS IS THE POST ENDGAME FIC THAT I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN. GODDAMN YOU R*SSOS FOR K WORDING TONY ISTG

potato guns and repulsers by gossamernotesHarley Keener was four when his dad left.Five when Tony Stark became Iron Man.And ten when said superhero broke into his garage and demanded a sandwich.Life, after that, was never the same.[The story wherein Harley Keener thinks over his life and watches where it goes after he meets the one and only, Tony Stark. It doesn't really go the way he planned.]rec note: this makes me so soft

Restless Night by Fernandidilly_yoSometimes even heroes can't sleep, but that's alright because there is always someone else awake and nearby.Or: Five times Tony couldn't sleep and the one time he did.rec note: you may notice a pattern of “not a lot of these fics are angsty! wow!” this one kind of is

Silence is Golden by GloriousBlackoutPeter doesn't say a word during his first six months with the Ravagers. Yondu learns to adapt to having a silent shadow following him around.rec note: DAD YONDU AND SMOL QUILL

Watch Our Souls Fade Away by GloriousBlackoutNebula and Tony struggle to come to terms with everything they've lost as they make the journey back to Earth.rec note: this fic was written before endgame but I SWEAR. THE WAY NEBULA AND TONY ARE WRITTEN BY THIS WRITER I CRY

All You Distrust, All You Save by GloriousBlackoutNebula could be forgiven for hoping things couldn't get much worse than being stranded in space with a man she barely knows and little chance of rescue. Unfortunately, the universe has a habit of proving her wrong.Missing scenes from Nebula and Tony's difficult journey back to Earth.rec note: please i am fragile,

All That's to Come by GloriousBlackoutIn the aftermath of Tony's funeral, Nebula tries to comprehend her feelings of loss and ends up meeting a little girl who's grown up hearing stories about her.rec note: I’M NOT OKAY. I’M NOT FUCKING OKAY

Lazarus, come forth by iron_spiderTony's mind is a chaotic mess but he remembers the moment—remembers his death, remembers the red hot pain and Peter screaming, Rhodey rushing to his side. How he knew he’d never see Pepper again—but they’d fixed it. They’d fixed the world, erased the lost time, set things right—and the kid was back. The kid was crying, the kid hated him for doing what he did, but he was back. He was alive.rec note: this isn’t an endgame fixit but....i also read this around 10 times after endgame because. yeah. also here comes the iron_spider spam

dear mr. fantasy by iron_spiderTony worries his brain is misfiring, transporting him across time and space in one final insane journey. He swallows hard, and he hears those garbled voices again. He can’t make out words, or tone, or who the hell is talking, but somebody definitely is, and it sounds strangely like they’re underwater. Or he is. He grits his teeth and turns around, and before he can even begin to trudge over towards Peter’s room, he’s stopped in his tracks. By a door. In the middle. Of the living room. Straight up and down like a monolith, just beside the glass coffee table. Tony chews on his lower lip and stares at it. “Well that’s new,” he says, still rooted to the spot.rec note: listen i swear i’m not going to just rec every single iron_spider longfic *does exactly that*

the rattle of their hearts by iron_spiderTony deals with the aftermath of Infinity War. He needs to get things back to normal. And Peter is an essential part of normal.rec note: this is one of the first marvel fics i read and i started reading it while it was being updated and i was SHAKING in ANTICIPATION and i SCREAMED several times i just. h,,,hhh.. this is an infinity war fixit but it’s miles better than endgame

Stark's Home for Wayward Animals by iron_spiderTony narrows his eyes and turns the corner. Peter is splayed out on the third stair, in his Spiderman suit sans the mask, soaked to the bone. His hair is plastered to his forehead, he’s shivering, and he’s holding a gray cat clutched to his chest.Tony stares at him. Both Peter and the cat are looking at him, wide-eyed, and then the cat meows again, breaking the silence.“What’s happening right now?” Tony asks.rec note: CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT

ever in your favor by iron_spiderHe remembers what day it is, and his heart beats like a drum at someone’s execution. But he tries to put on a mask, make it all seem normal. It’s everything but, despite the fact that he’s been dealing with reaping day since he was born, between himself, Ben and May. That fear that one of them could be taken away. Sent to surefire slaughter. But now Ben is gone, taken despite never having his name drawn from a bowl, and May’s finally safe. Now Peter’s name is in there alone. The last Parker sitting on the chopping block. He doesn’t know how to be. He doesn’t know what normal is, when the Hunger Games are looming on the horizon.rec note: ghhghfjkgf this fic is so top notch...it gave me so many feelings....it GAVE ME CAROL&TONY RIGHTS?? FROM AN MCU FIC???? LITERALLY THE DREAM ??

5 times Peter is stuck with Tony by iron_spider(...and one time he’s stuck alone.)“I wonder if Pepper’s reported me missing yet,” Tony says, with an exaggerated sigh. “I wonder if this is some kind of scheme to kidnap me or something.”“I think the ride’s just broken,” Peter says.“Today of all goddamn days,” Tony says, exasperation clear in his voice and in his eyes. “Ruining our trip—”“It’s not ruined,” Peter says. “Look, we’re hanging out."“Real quality time,” Tony huffs. “Us, a few other trapped members of the general public, and a handful of animatronic pirates. Drunk pirates. Repeating themselves.”rec note: this fic is a RIDE. i laugh in one chapter and then my feelings get vibe checked in the next.

what if there is no tomorrow? by iron_spider"We're in a time loop. I'm Bill Murray. I remember everything, you guys don't, we're...we are trapped. We're trapped, buddy. I've done this over and over. And over. And over and over and over. I don't know how to fix it. So I'm...giving up. I make snow angels now. And that's it."rec note: this fic made me like justin hammer. it’s done the fucking impossible.

#i had to shorten some of the descriptions which gave me a lot of pain #long post #fic rec #ALSO this is driving me crazy bc . there's this rlly good rhodeytony fic where rhodey crashes on a snow mountain and his suit breaks #so he has to survive in the Biting Cold while tony goes feral trying to look for him #i cannot FIND IT and ...HHHH

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duhragonball · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z 207

A couple of episodes back, Videl asked Gohan to teach her how to fly. Today, she’s come to collect on that lesson.

The problem is that Gohan flies by manipulating the ki in his body to propel himself in midair, but Videl doesn’t even know what ki is. So Goten blows up a rock to demonstrate what they’re talking about, but Videl has never encountered such a thing before.

And Videl gets pretty frustrated over this, probably because Gohan and Goten take it for granted.

This episode has always fascinated me, because it’s the first time that DBZ really goes into how the super powers work. In Dragon Ball, Goku starts out about the same level as Videl. Maybe a step behind, even. But he learns superhuman abilities so gradually over time that it’s hard to tell where the line is between regular martial artists and gonzo-powered martial artists. Flight didn’t really become a thing until Tien showed up, and sustained flight over long distances wasn’t really a thing until the Saiyans Saga.

In DBZ, Gohan didn’t even learn ki from anyone. He just zapped some wood in one episode to start a fire. That was around the time Piccolo abandoned him to fend for himself for six months. I assume Piccolo taught him how to fly later on, but I found it curious how Gohan managed to master ki control on his own. Yeah, he was a prodigy, but still.

So it’s kind of interesting to see him trying to explain it to someone else. in Dragon Ball, this sort of knowledge had to be discovered by traveling the world and proving your worth to some obscure master. Gohan seems to think that everyone knows about ki, and Videl just calls it something else. I suppose this is because Gohan’s lived his whole life surrounded by people who know about it.

Gohan sends Goten off to play while he gives Videl a demonstration. He doesn’t really explain how he’s making a li’l energy ball in his hands, except for vague instructions like “clear your mind”, and the repeated assurance that all living things have ki energy.

But it’s not so easy for Videl to replicate his ability, an this really seems to bother her. I’m not sure why, unless it’s because she’s used to being pretty good at martial arts, and she doesn’t like running into a technique like this where she knows nothing about it.

They break for lunch, and Videl praises Chi-Chi’s cooking as much better than what her cook makes back home. Chi-Chi realizes Videl’s rich, so she asks how many rooms they have in her house.

Videl isn’t even sure, so she guesses fifty, and Chi-Chi immediately starts to take a liking to her. She asks Gohan when they plan on getting married.

And Gohan does a spit take, only his mouth is full of rice and he spits it all over Goten.

Later, Videl finally gets the hang of Gohan’s lesson, and she looks so happy when she pulls it off. Gohan’s impressed that she managed it so fast, but she still has to learn to control her ki in order to fly.

Meanwhile, Goku’s training in Otherworld. The South Kai shows up to talk smack, and to introduce his latest acquisition, Papoi, a warrior from the South Galaxy who recently died.

King Kai suggests that Papoi enter the 25th Budokai, but I don’t see how he can. Goku’s been given permission to return for one day, and maybe Papoi is entitled to the same privelige, but why would he want to blow it on this? He could fight Goku whenever he wants on the Grand Kai Planet. Anyway, King Kai show off by having Goku switch from two-ton weights to ten-ton weights. The five-fold increase is difficult for Goku until he turns Super Saiyan, which is why this episode is often cited by battleboard nerds trying to calculate power level charts or mathematically prove that Goku could beat Superman. In any event, South Kai and Papoi suddenly decide they have other plans for that day.

Back on Earth, Gohan checks in on his students to find they kind of suck at this. Goten just keeps jumping up and down, while Videl looks like she’s trying to launch herself into the air through sheer force of will.

But Goten can actually understand Gohan’s instructions, so he figures it out first. Unfortunately, he only manages to get into the air, and when he tries to go fast he ends up crashing into the ground. Goten wishes Videl would leave so they could train more seriously, but Gohan can’t send her away until she can fly, so he’s gotta wait.

Videl insists on staying until she gets it down, but fortunately she’s a quick study. By the end of the day she manages to float a few inches off the ground, which really impresses Gohan, since he never dreamed she’d get this far on her first day.

Of course, Goten picked it up much more quickly, but Gohan explains that he understood ki already.

So Videl decides to leave, but she insists on returning tomorrow. Gohan tries to talk her into practicing alone, but she won’t hear of it.

So then Gohan suggests that Videl cut her hair. She blushes and asks if he prefers girls with short hair, and he backs off and says all this stuff about how short hair is better in a fight, since it can’t get in your face and it’s harder for an opponent to grab it.

Then Videl gets upset and flies off in a huff. In her aircraft, I mean. She isn’t good enough at flying to fly home under her own power.

Meanwhile, Trunks turns Super Saiyan while training with Vegeta in the gravity room at Capsule Corp. Vegeta had no idea he could do this, but Trunks wants to train harder, because he heard from Goten that he and Gohan plan to enter the Budokai next month.

So Vegeta decides to test Trunks’ power with some sparring. Trunks doesn’t get it at first, but Vegeta offers to take him to the amusement park if Trunks can land a single blow. Also, Vegeta’s been hitting the steroids pretty hard lately. Dude looks like a He-Man doll.

Trunks gives it a shot, and he actually does manage to hit his dad once...

...And Vegeta instinctively hits back. He’s visibly worried at first...

But he’s okay, albeit a bit upset that Vegeta didn’t warn him he would be fighting back. Nothing a trip to the amusement park can’t fix.

Before they go, Vegeta asks how Trunks stacks up compared to Goten, and Trunks says he’s a little stronger, mostly because he’s a year older and Goten can’t fly.

Now, episode 2 of Dragon Ball Super establishes that Vegeta didn’t take Trunks to the park until after the end of the Buu arc, but I consider this to be bullshit. I prefer to think that he took him immediately after this episode, because he said he would, after all.

Back at Gohan’s house, Videl returns the next day, as promised...

With a really short haircut. Okay, so I know there are fans who prefer the original pigtails look, and I get it. It’s a cute design. But for me, nothing can top this short hair look, because this episode provides a story to explain it. Gohan told her to cut her hair, and then the next time we see her, she has shorter hair. And neither of them are willing to admit why this has happened, but we know, don’t we, folks?

This here is chemistry. If I off-handedly suggested some lady make some aesthetic change, and then she actually went and did it... well, I’d probably react a lot like Gohan, to be honest. That’s a lot of pressure, to have that kind of influence over someone’s look. Then again, you gotta figure this is exactly why Videl did it. Not because he suggested it, but because she knew it would drive him wild if she went through with it. The pigtails just can’t compare to that.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #great saiyaman saga #gohan #goten #videl #goku #vegeta #trunks #king kai #south kai #papoi #chi chi

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my-miraculous-headcanons · 5 years

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Metal Heart [TEXT VER.]

So, this was an AU that I had posted on my Twitter because I hadn’t known how to format it coherently on Tumblr. But it’s here now!

This AU was inspired when I listened to This Audio after having gone through an Astro Boy phase. I left it unfinished, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to write the story out, so you’ll find out the ending and the Ladrien plot later.

OKAY so https://maximilian-alexander.tumblr.com/post/181533777041/bassiter-something-about-us-by-daft-punk-except … this song inspired me to think up a Robot post apocalyptic AU with Marinette working in her little workshop and Chat Noir being the robot she created. A Ladrien ver. happens in the far future, after Mari grows old and dies blah blah blah

Mari makes a Chat Noir robot, but he doesn't have a built in suit or anything like that he just nakey lmao bc I want him to wear street clothes. Mari's in a post-apocalyptic world where machines have taken over and pretty much EVERYTHING is littered with trash and scrap metal.

She's lonely af and hey, turns out she's a genius with technology. (I also wanna point out this is partially inspired by Astro Boy.) She listens to that song while working on creating Chat Noir, stealthily hiding away from the outside world filled with murderous anti-human robots

Her attempt at making Chat Noir is a HUGE success, and she pretty much bawls tears of joy when he wakes up and looks around like an actual human being. He's not really a newborn, she programmed him with a healthy amount of maturity and worldly knowledge.

Chat Noir is very protective almost immediately. He's a robot in a 15 yo boy's body looking at this tiny 13 yo, lonely robotics prodigy, in a world where his kind would typically murder her at first glance. He doesn't understand it. He has human emotions. Mari's so nice.

Frankly, after two years of spending time with Marinette, he doesn't WANT to understand the other robots. He doesn't care. He thinks they're filthy and dumb. Mari's a gift, and if any of them come so much as a 50 foot radius near her he'll take his steel claws and SHRED THEM.

After those first two years of spending time together, Marinette's food supply runs short. She won't be able to make it another year with what they have. She'll be lucky if she'll make it for another month. Chat Noir runs on sunlight. He'll be fine. But... She won't.

Marinette is ready to accept her fate. She's happy her last two years on earth had been filled with childish duets, silly dancing, games, etc... She's glad she spent them with Chat Noir. He, on the other hand, is devastated. He doesn't want to be alone. He CAN'T be without her.

He starts going out frequently, scavenging for food he can find her. He rations out her food to make it last longer, even though she tells him it'll be useless. He's going mad— all the abandoned food marts etc have already been ransacked by other survivors. There's NOTHING.

He goes out farther. He travels into the danger zone, littered with machines and dead bodies. One machine catches sight of him, identifies his human-like body, and nearly destroys him. He comes back to Marinette with half the skin on his face melted off, showing the metal parts.

Despite how absolutely horrified Mari was of that incident, he keeps going out, farther and farther, destroying enemies along the way. He eventually takes out all the robots in the danger zone and is able to move past it— and he finally finds it. He finds what he's looking for.

Seeds. Plants. Soil, too. And unraided markets filled with canned foods. He stuffs as much as he can into a duffel bag he found laying around and comes back home. Marinette is surprised, and touched. She remembers back to when she used to garden with her mother. She teaches him.

Soon they have thriving plants with tomatoes, strawberries, etc. Soon they have a couple of fruit trees growing outside. Chat Noir is ecstatic. Marinette is happy, too, but she doesn't know how to tell him that this can't last. That eventually, she will die.

Be it starvation, dehydration, disease, or even being discovered by one of the machines outside, she will die. She won't make it to old age. She lets him have this moment, though.

She builds a new body for him a year later, this one a couple years older, about 17-18 years old. He loves it, he loves the fact that he'll /technically/ be able to grow with Marinette. She transfers his memories into the new body, and he takes a while trying to get used to it.

More years pass by, Chat Noir upgrades to another body, and things are comfortable. They still listen to that song Marinette was listening to when she first made him. It's her favourite. It's his favourite too, but mostly because it's hers.

Chat Noir starts finding other forms of entertainment, because Marinette is busy working on his next body and he already went on a raid for more nonperishable food. He finds an abandoned library and falls in love with science journals and, most importantly, romance novels.

His typical experience with humanity is almost solely based on Marinette. He had thought that, possibly, they were all the same. That they all were kind and fun and wonderful. Reading helped him realise that his initial presumption was mistaken.

People could be cruel. People had different quirks, and personalities, and different ways of going about certain situations. People even loved differently. There's platonic love, sibling love, parental love, and romantic love. He finds himself very interested in romantic love.

He wasn't all-knowledgable. He wasn't programmed with everything, only with the capacity to learn whatever he wished. He already knew about cuddling and hugs, at least— Marinette had mentioned that she had gone YEARS without being affectionately touched before she had made him.

Kissing was new, though. Holding hands was also new, they certainly never did that unless one of them was trying to drag the other somewhere. Sex was new, and very strange, but the way it's described in romance novels in comparison to health books made it sound intriguing.

It sounded intimate. He's surprised that there's ways to be even closer to someone than he already is with Marinette. He wonders if she'd be interested in a romantic relationship, although considering he was never programmed to know about it, he doubts it. He wishes, though.

Kissing, at least, he knew could be platonic. Pecks on the cheek, or on the forehead. He wants to do anything he could to get even closer to Marinette, to discover things about her that he didn't already know. The first time he kisses her cheek, she's surprised, but happy.

Kissing becomes a regular thing. Chat does it more and more frequently as days go by. Marinette has no idea where he learned it from, but she isn't complaining. A part of her is really happy that he chooses to do it, even though he isn't programmed to.

At some point Chat Noir is almost painfully aware that his feelings for Marinette are not at all platonic. He constantly wants to hold her, to sing to her, to cuddle her and kiss her and he fantasizes the image of her lips on his own. He's absolutely in love with her.

He has no idea what to do about it. He reads even more romance novels in hopes of some advice on how to win her heart. He makes the mistake of reading a shoujo manga. He comes back home and starts flirting with corny jokes and a fake rose and Marinette is dying of laughter

Chat Noir mopes for a long while after that attempt because he tried really hard to win her heart he DID okay, it's not his fault that Marinette obviously does not appreciate the fine art of humour and flirting

She slowly eases him out of his little self pity party by bribing him with video games. She absolutely decimates him in those games but he has to admit that he loves playing with her, especially when they work together on hard mode to defeat the computer AI.

He makes another attempt much later after reading a well-written romance novel. This one details a romantic dinner with a candle-lit atmosphere under the moonlight. He loves the idea, so he gathers up candles and fake flowers and a tablecloth. He finds two unbroken wine glasses.

He looks for a safe place on the surface where he'd be able to spot any danger at night. Marinette rarely ever ventures out in fear of being killed by a wandering machine. He doesn't want her to be scared on his romantic dinner date, so he needs to find the perfect spot.

He finds a place, a little far off but perfect. In the books he's read, it's called the Eiffel Tower. There's an apartment at the very top, and from the looks of it, it's been long abandoned. It used to be in the center of the danger zone, but Chat took care of that years ago.

It's safe and has a magnificent view. Mari would love it. He sets everything up, and even manages to find a bottle of aged wine in the luxury apartment. He also finds some music that he's never heard before, something by some guy named Jagged Stone. The ballad's his favourite.

He comes back home with a really wide grin and Marinette is super suspicious the entire time. He says that he's setting up a surprise for her and she's going to love it. She's wondering if he's read another shitty shoujo manga again and is a bit nervous.

Aaaand this is where I left off. That’s the end, folks! Sorry.

I still remember how this AU ends, which later becomes the beginning of the Ladrien version of this AU. It’s sad, but a happy kind of sad, if that makes sense? Spoiler alert— Both Chat Noir and Marinette live long, happy lives together.

Anyways, for once, I feel like this is an AU I don’t want anyone using without my input. I’ll always be in love with this AU, and I may very well write for it in the future. In fact, I have a clear vision on how I’d write both the Marichat version and the Ladrien version at the same time. It involves Adrien sobbing. Hehehe.

If you guys want the general outline on how everything turns up, and how the Ladrien spinoff fits in, just ask and I’ll make a separate post about it. I remember crying when I was daydreaming about it the first time I thought of it. It may be a tearjerker for some.

#Maximilian Speaks #Miraculous Ladybug #ML #Marinette Dupain-Cheng #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Marichat #Ladrien #long post #Metal Heart AU #Love Square #Reverse Love Square #(Kind of? All four of them are separate people so it's not actually the love square but well. That's the name of the general ship right??)#Chat Noir Has A Crush On Marinette #Marinette Has A Crush on Chat Noir

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notbecauseofvictories · 5 years

Note

hello Sarah!! hope you're doing great. who are your three ABSOLUTE fave minor characters from star wars?

That’s…a very hard question to answer, which I did not realize until this moment! I never saw myself as a minor characters person, but something about those star wars lends itself to collecting a whole bunch of secondary characters and developing intensely specific headcanons about them which you would die for, probably.

However, I decided I would just pick my favorite minor characters from Rogue One/Solo/each of the Trilogies, since that’s easier.

Prequel Trilogy — Mace Windu

I’m not much of a Jedi person—my preferences are clearly oriented to the Rebellion and the regular old humans of the galaxy far far away. But I once wrote myself into having a lot of feelings about Mace Windu, and since then have never recovered. I’m still stuck on a Mace Windu who is stubbornly good, good in the most absolute sense, but also pragmatic and unyielding and cold and ambitious.

I always liked the idea that Mace had a particular grudge against Qui-Gon—not for any particular personal reason, but. Well, they were approximately the same age, and where Mace had been playing the long-game to advance through the Order, Qui-Gon was off running all over the galaxy with his mouthy padawan, rescuing whoever he felt like and talking about mystic Force nonsense. Mace sees it as the waste of a good Jedi. (Qui-Gon has no idea.)

Original Trilogy — Mon Mothma

I realize this is sort of cheating, since Mon Mothma’s role is expanded on a lot in Rogue One, but she was original first, so it counts.

Anyway, I love Mon Mothma. I’ve come up with a whole world of headcanons for her, from her studying poetry in university to her relationship with Padme and Bail Organa (she and Bail don’t actually like each other much—but they respect each other and are too civilized to let anyone else know about it.) To how, after Palpatine became Emperor. she basically just said “fuck it” and made it her entire goal to make his life miserable and shout about tyranny on the Senate floor. (The Partisans smuggled her offworld just before the black squad had a chance to strike; that’s how she knows Saw.)

I just really like Mothma, this woman who is clearly more of a liberal politician than a glorious revolutionary, yet clearly is determined to have that role. She’s also…literally the only person who witnesses the Republic, the fall of the Republic, the rise of the Empire, the fall of the Empire, and the rise of the New Republic. I have to imagine that after the Empire falls, she becomes the George Washington of the New Republic, which in itself is a cool idea. (I keep meaning to write that post-war fic about Leia adjusting to peace, and how badly she fits inside it, how guilty she is about it, when Mon Mothma is thriving amid the rebuilding…)

Rogue One — Saw Gerrera

I love Saw Gerrera. I love him, specifically, in three ways:

1) Separatist-turned-Anarchist-for-Hire! I firmly believe that Saw spent most of his younger life as a Separatist, and learned all the ways of violent resistance there. So when the Republic becomes the Empire, he’s already ready to go, he’s got knowledge that’s suddenly very valuable and needed by a lot more worlds than used to want it. I still picture the Partisans as kind of roving band of violent revolutionaries for hire—if you’re the anti-Empire insurgency on planet X, you can send Saw Gererra a message, and in exchange for food & lodging, they’ll teach your people how make bombs and tap into frequencies and spy on your local Imperial outpost.

(this fic is tentatively entitled “saw gererra and his anachist’s cookbook crew kickstart the rebellion by building a huge network of insurgent cells on every planet from the outer rim to the core”)

2) The imagined agony that is Lyra/Saw! Listen, I realize I talked myself into this one, but—Lyra Erso was the one who knew Saw. Once Galen realized how deep in shit he was, she and Saw arranged to get them out of the Empire and into hiding. Their love affair was conducted almost exclusively via transmit, ala this headcanon I came up with ages ago.

3) Feral Affection-Starved Wolfchild Adopted By Emotionally Ill-Equipped Radical, aka, Jyn Has Complicated Feelings About Saw Gerrerra, Who Is As Much Her Father As Galen Ever Was.

I literally did write a fic about this.

Solo — Enfys Nest

The minute she took off her helmet, I was sold. I love that she’s young, that she’s inherited this enormous burden from her mother. (If you’re going to kill off everybody’s mom, star wars, then you’re correct, the least you can do is make those moms baller freedom fighters.) I love that her gang is called the “Cloud Riders,” and that they’re integrated with the local people. I love her cape.

Solo, for all its faults, had very good capes.

I will, someday, write that fic where Enfys and Saw and Mon Mothma bring their disparate factions together to talk about The Future of Rebellion In The Galaxy and everybody fights a lot about it, and there’s probably fraught sex, somewhere. It’s not a rebel convocation if no one’s having emotionally and politically fraught sex.)

New Trilogy — Phasma

I don’t pay attention to any star wars that doesn’t happen onscreen, but I heard through the fannish grapevine that Hux’s dad was the one who set up the new stormtrooper program. Since then, I’ve been obsessed with the idea that Phasma was the first-ever New Stormtrooper, like a proof of concept. A stolen child herself, raised by Hux the Elder to be a monster and a prodigy. (Literally, the translation of “Phasma.”)

This also means that a) Phasma has complicated feelings about Hux the Elder, who is the closest thing to a father she’s ever known, but definitely doesn’t see her as a human being; b) Phasma and Hux are weird sibling-like things, except not siblings at all; and c) Phasma can take all these awful twisted-up narratives about ownership, love, and humanity, and foist them all on FN-2187 in the most fucked up way.

I have a partial draft of this fic, and the google doc is literally titled “frankenstein, but space.”

#Anonymous #star wars #the warry stars #god what an completely unforeseeable coincidence that all my favorite minor sw characters are serious and dedicated idealists #who nonetheless adopt pragmatic and sometimes morally grey approaches to accomplishing their goals #it's almost like I have a type!!!!#long post for ts

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lurafita · 5 years

Text

Petvengers Chapter 2

I just realized that I forgot to post the other chapters here as well.

Read Chapter 1 here: Chappy 1

Again, this is also on Ao3, but I want to have duplicates, just in case.

here is the link if you want to read it on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19139326/chapters/45486811

The Ao3 version has pictures of the pets!

Bucky & Sam

When Peter had invited her over to Stark tower, so that she could meet Cap's new dog Colonel, and help him brainstorm for the next step of his mission (Ned had also been invited, but had had to decline due to a surprise weekend family trip), Michelle certainly hadn't expected that they would end up sitting cross-legged and drinking hot chocolate on Natasha Romanoff's bed. Said redhead, also known as Black Widow, was sat across from them in her desk chair, sipping on her own cup of the chocolaty beverage.

Her and Michelle had chosen a simple version of the drink; dark chocolate, some milk, a pinch of cinnamon. Nothing fancy and not too sweet. Whereas Peter had doctored his cup with extra sugar, mini marshmallows, whipped cream, vanilla extract, and sprinkles. Michelle was pretty sure that that monstrosity of a drink would cause diabetes in anyone else but Peter. Looking at it alone made her teeth ache.

Hope, Peter's most loyal companion, was for once not curled up, around, or all over his owner, and had instead laid his head on Natasha's thigh, while the former Russian spy was absently scratching his scalp.

"The key to manipulating others is to know what makes them tick."

The Black Widow had found the two teens in the common floor's living room (because even though everyone living in the Stark tower had their own floor, they all somehow gravitated to this one), discussing various ideas on how to get Bucky and Sam into the animal shelter. She had lightly scolded them for talking about a mission in such an open and unsecured place, ordered them into the adjoining kitchen for hot chocolate acquisition, and then corralled them (plus pitbull) down to her own floor and into her bedroom. Satisfied with their new location, Natasha then started to give the teen's a lesson in 'Spy Work 101'.

Peter was devotedly writing everything down, though Michelle had no idea where he had procured the notebook and pen from.

"Every person has a different emotional and psychological makeup and is, therefore, susceptible to different tactics."

She took a sip from her drink. Peter specifically made a note of that.

"So, before you start with your scheme, take your time to study your target. Learn to read them and see the best approach for getting them to bend to your needs."

Peter stopped scribbling for a moment, and looked at the redhead with a frown on his face.

"Couldn't I just do what I did with Steve?"

Natasha raised a single eyebrow.

"Have you heard about the boy who cried wolf?"

Peter nodded insightful.

"Good point."

And then he wrote that down, too.

Since the chance to learn from probably the best spy/secret operative/assassin didn't come by often, Michelle decided to make the most of it.

"Do you have any tips on how to best observe our targets?"

Natasha smirked.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time that MJ and Peter observed the two men, Sam and Bucky were running through an elaborate obstacle course in the Danger Room*.

To be on a more even playing field, Bucky had taken off his vibranium arm and Sam his wings.

"You know, no one will judge you if you just give up. I mean, I will judge you... As will everyone else. But the option is there."

"Please. I'm just trying not to embarrass you too much. I could have already finished if I wanted to."

"You wanna put your money where your fucking mouth is?"

"You fucking asked for it!"

Peter and MJ made extensive notes while the other two sped up.

The next time that found the duo alone, they had somehow been ganged up on by the other Avengers into cooking for every one.

"Don't add pepper to that, it's gonna be too hot."

"Oh, sorry, I forgot that people your age have trouble handling spicy food. Want me to get out some prune juice for you? Should I puree your steak?"

"Maybe I should make some extra spinach for you, chances are you will finally put on some muscle, then. How about a glass of milk to strengthen your bones?"

"How about you shut up and give me a hand with peeling the potatoes?"

Since a picture said more than a thousand words, MJ took great care to draw the exact look on Sam Wilson's face when a detached metal arm landed right beside him.

The third time saw Bucky and Sam playing Mario Kart.

"I'm not at all surprised you chose the dinosaur. Feeling a special kinship with the fossil?"

"No more than you do with Princess Peach. What with you both being on your period."

It seemed that neither man was even out to win the race, but far more invested in hitting the other's character with an item, or pushing them off the track. When they finally crossed the finish line (after many, many swearwords; it was a good thing that Laura and Clint had taken their kids to visit Laura's parents), the two men sat back on the couch and took a long sip from their beer bottles.

Then they simultaneously turned their heads to the love seat beside the couch. The love seat that was currently occupied by one Spiderkid and one Spiderkid's friend who 'was a girl but not his girlfriend'. Who both had notebooks in their laps and pens in their hands and were staring at the men. Rather creepily.

The two pairs held eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time.

"Did you two want to play?"

The teens shook their heads.

"You need help with... homework or something?"

Peter smiled.

"Nope, we are good."

The girl waved her hand at the pair.

"Carry on."

It was 1:45 am at night when Michelle was roused from her sleep by her buzzing phone. She opened up the screen to see that she had gotten a text message from Peter.

DefinitelynotSpiderman: Calling in mission report. I'm not getting any new information. Awaiting orders.

MyfriendscallmeMJ: ... Peter, are you currently sticking to Sergeant Barnes ceiling and watching him in his sleep?

DefinitelynotSpiderman: Of course not! Ever since Bucky and Steve started dating, they moved in together on Cap's floor. Not trying to get an eye full of that! What kind of creepy stalker do you take me for?! DefinitelynotSpiderman: I'm observing Sam. DefinitelynotSpiderman: While sticking on his ceiling. DefinietlynotSpiderman: In the dark. DefinietlynotSpiderman: While he is sleeping. DefinitelynotSpiderman: It's super boring.

MyfriendscallmeMJ: Peter, go to bed.

DefinitelynotSpiderman: Roger that.

After another week of close observation (to which the men had by that time caught on and were slightly freaked out by), Peter and MJ presented their findings to Natasha.

"They are like the worlds best frenemies."

Peter had once again made himself a cup full of 'Death by sugar', while Michelle and Natasha were enjoying some very nice tea, that Peter had 'borrowed' from Dr. Strange. (It was part of the training program Natasha had thought up for him to work on his stealth abilities. He had also 'borrowed' 15 single socks from Tony, Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, two pairs of Sam's sunglasses, and just an hour ago, Steve's running shoes. He had so far not been able to slip under the guard of the Winter Solider, and flat out refused to 'borrow' anything from Bruce. Dr. Banner was the god of science and shall not be used for training exercises.)

Natasha, who was at the moment wrapped up in Clint's fuzzy bathrobe, motioned for Michelle to elaborate on Peter's statement.

"They don't miss an opportunity to poke fun at, or insult the other, but even though it may seem as such at first glance, they are never actually hurtful to each other. Mr. Wilson holds regular counseling sessions with Sergeant Barnes, which we respectfully did not intrude on, but are likely about his fighting in a war and other trauma. And Sergeant Barnes helps out with Mr. Wilson's training and helps him to figure out new strategies and maneuvers for aerial combat."

Hope hadn't joined the teens in Natasha's room this time around, as he and Colonel were currently playing with Cooper, Lila and Nathaniel on the Barton's floor, under the watchful eyes of their parents (though Clint was most likely just as excited about having the dogs for some playtime as his kids were. He was fooling no one.)

"Sam has a bit of an inferiority complex, what with both his best friends being enhanced super soldiers, and is constantly trying it one-up Bucky."

Peter continued.

"And Bucky still sometimes struggles with understanding how the present, or in his view, the future and it's course of conduct works. He wants to learn to adapt on his own terms, and doesn't like having these things explained to him like he wouldn't get it otherwise."

MJ finished their report.

"They are both headstrong and independent. They like to help others, but don't like to be in a position where they themselves need help. They are very alike in that. Which leads to everything pretty much turning into a competition between them."

Natasha smiled proudly at them.

"Very good."

They smiled back.

"Thank you, Sensei."

Cue the raised eyebrow.

"Sensei?"

Peter shyly rubbed the back of his head.

"Well, you are teaching us some of the tools of your trade. Which makes you the Obi Wan to our Skywalker. But MJ voted against calling you Master, since that title caters to a patriarchal system. But the female form 'Mistress' sounded a bit too much 'Dominatrix'. So we settled on the more respectful Japanese term of Sensei. But we will totally stop calling you that if you don't like it, Tasha."

He nervously bit his lip as they waited for Natasha's verdict, and even MJ subtly shifted a little in her seat.

"No, I like it. Feel free to use it as much as you like. So now, my prodigious students, after having studied your targets, what have you come up with?"

Her smile widened more and more as the teens told her of their plan.

---------------------------------------------------

Stage 1: Divide

Michelle found Sam in the common floor's kitchen, seemingly enjoying a cup of coffee. Peter had used the terrible combined powers of his and Hope's puppy eyes, to convince Sergeant Barnes that he wanted to go get ice cream with the teen and dog, about fifteen minutes ago. Which led into the next part of their plan.

Stage 2: Conquer

She casually strolled up to the table and sat down across from the infamous Falcon. He gave her a welcoming nod.

"Hey there, Michelle. You didn't want to go with the others to get ice cream?"

"Have you ever seen the absurdly sweet things Parker orders? I didn't feel like getting second hand diabetes today."

He snorted.

"Tell me about it. I swear I could feel my teeth starting to rot, the last time he made himself a snack. And by snack, I mean a deep fried mars bar, covered in whipped cream and wrapped in a chocolate chip pancake."

He shuddered at the memory. Then Michelle went in for the kill.

-Hook.-

"And also, I don't need to listen to Sergeant Barnes rant about your inability to let yourself appear emotionally open or vulnerable."

The man almost chocked on his coffee.

"I'm sorry, what?"

With a casual shrug and a dismissive hand gesture, the girl elaborated.

"I mean, it's not a big deal or anything. We were talking about Hope and Colonel the other day, and how Peter tricked Captain Rogers. Peter thought he should do it again, you know, with someone else from the team. That loser is absolutely certain that everyone needs a pet because, and I quote 'Animals just make everything better, MJ.'."

The statement was followed by her trademark eye roll.

"Well, in the kid's defense, there are quite a few studies about the mental and psychological benefits a close relationship with a pet can have on a person. Especially those dealing with trauma. Many of the veterans I counsel have a therapeutic companion, or emotional support animal, as they are more commonly called."

Sam couldn't help but inject, but quickly got back to the matter at hand.

"What's that about Barnes spouting bullshit, though?"

-Line.-

The teen across from him shrugged her shoulders.

"He simply stated that something like this wouldn't work on you. Since Peter's ploy heavily depended on the Captain being a 'pushover with a hero complex', and therefore unable to turn away from a 'little critter in need of love and affection'. You, on the other hand, were 'too insecure about your manliness, and wouldn't allow yourself to be seen as someone doting on an animal'. His words."

The coffee cup was set down harshly on the table, as Sam pushed himself upwards.

-And sinker.-

"He did, did he." He growled. "Insecure about my manliness, my ass. I'm gonna show that bastard... Say, do you know which shelter Pete got the dogs from?"

Michelle easily suppressed a victorious smirk, and quickly typed out the signal message on her phone for Ned to be ready with his camcorder.

"I will show you the way." He nodded in acceptance. "Great. If we come across a shop selling sunglasses on the way there, remind me to get a pair. I seem to keep misplacing mine."

------------------------------------------------------

They had taken Hope to the park first, and thrown around a Frisbee for the dog to chase after and catch. Natasha had told Peter to spend about thirty to forty minutes in the park, and after that approximately the same amount of time at the ice cream cafe, that was conveniently located halfway between the park and the shelter. (What was even better, was that this particular cafe had ice cream specifically made for dogs. So he had ordered Hope three big scoops of the dogs favorite flavor.)

While Hope was happily licking up his cold treat, and Peter was demolishing his triple banana split with extra toppings of everything, Bucky serenely drunk from his glass of frappuccino. The tranquility of the moment was only disrupted by the vibrating buzz of Peter's mobile phone, which he quickly took out of his pants pocket.

MyfriendscallmeMJ: The Falcon and his new companion have left the building. Ned is awaiting your arrival. Initiate phase 'Lonely Winter' now.

-Alright Parker-, he gave himself a mental pep talk, -your turn. Tasha and MJ have coached you through your lines all yesterday evening, you totally got this.-

"So," -maybe put a little less squeak into your voice!- "Hrm, I mean, so... You know, I think Sam is wrong."

Bucky grinned at him.

"Wilson is wrong about a lot of things. But what in particular are you referring to?"

-Get it together, Spiderman! You can totally do this! Look him in the eye and lie right to his face!-

Peter fixed his stare resolutely on the coffee table and spun his spoon around his now empty bowl.

-Coward!-

"Just something he said. Me and MJ were talking the other day, you know, about how great it would be if the others on the team would maybe adopt an animal from the shelter, too. I mean, the tower is more than big enough for it, and you can't deny that Steve has been a lot more relaxed ever since he got Colonel. You too, actually."

Bucky nodded to that. He had always had a soft spot for dogs, and really anything with big eyes and soft fur that needed his protection. He was always happy to volunteer taking both Colonel and Hope out for a walk, if Steve or Peter were busy. Just like this morning when he went jogging with Colonel, because his boyfriend refused to leave before he found his running shoes. (He hadn't found them. Bucky could have told him that the kid had them, but he was no snitch. Also, he knew very well that this was part of Natasha's stealth training, and since Peter never took things that held emotional value to their owners, Bucky was very satisfied with silently cheering the kid on.)

"Sam overheard us and said that you probably wouldn't go for it."

The Winter Soldiers eyes narrowed slightly.

"Oh?"

-Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic! Lie your heart out you french frying licorice!-

"Yeah, like, you know, he was just like 'Nah, that relic wouldn't even know how to handle all the paperwork that comes with adopting a pet. Bet they didn't have that back in 1920. Probably just ran out on the street and took home the first thing that let itself be cuddled.' Well, something along those lines, I don't remember his exact wording (-because he never said that, you lying liar who lies!- ) and he said that you would be way too proud to ask for someone to explain it to you and stuff..."

He risked glancing up from the table to gauge Bucky's reaction, and holy mother of science! If the stormy look on the man's face said anything, he had totally bought Peter's bullshit!

-Whoohoo! Good work, Spidey!-

Feeling emboldened by this, he tried his best to adopt a casual, earnest posture.

"But, I don't think Sam is right. I mean, you know how to file your taxes and stuff, and I'm pretty sure that more than half the people in New York don't know how to do that correctly. Tony always just lets Pepper handle them. And besides, you are totally awesome with Hope and Colonel, and I don't think you would let something like pride stand in your way if you wanted to adopt a pet."

Another quick glance at the Sergeant revealed a mix of fondness, contemplation, and determination.

"You know what, kid? How about we make a little detour to that shelter of yours and show Sam how very, stupidly wrong he is?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Ned had opted out of accompanying the now foursome back to the tower, as he wanted to save the new video he had made to the file he had on his computer at home. Bucky had either not cared about Peter's friend filming him, while he went through the process of adopting an animal, or hadn't realized that he had been the sole focus of the camera.

When they entered the common floor, Hope tiredly trotting over to where Colonel had laid himself down beside the love seat, they were greeted by the sight of Steve, Sam, Michelle, Natasha and Pepper readying the room for a movie night.

Peter quickly ran over to Pepper and took two of the three huge bowls of chips she was trying to balance.

"Thank you, sweetie."

"No problem. Where are the others?"

Steve answered, setting down two huge jugs of iced fruit tea on the table.

"Clint and Laura are making sure that Cooper and Lila have finished their homework before we start with the movie. Bruce wanted to go over the latest results of some kind of experiment he was running one more time, but promised to be here in half an hour at the latest. May had to fill in for a colleague, and said to tell you to eat something healthy before you stuffed yourself with junk food. Speaking of which, here."

Steve had somehow procured a plate with steamed vegetables and some rice out of nowhere, and was shoving it into Peter's hands.

The younger looked at the food suspiciously.

"Did Aunt May make this before she left?"

Steve smirked.

"No. She tried her hand on a casserole... the smell was a little... pungent, to put it mildly. And Colonel kinda buried it in the flower field on the terrace. So I whipped this up for you."

Then he held out a fork for Peter to take, while the teen smiled in relief.

"Thanks Cap!"

He quickly sat down next to MJ and Natasha and began to eat.

"Where's dad?"

Pepper laughed lightly.

"He is busy disassembling the dryer. Said the machine keeps eating his left socks. How he figures they are his left ones is beyond me, though."

Natasha helpfully slapped Peter on his back, as he valiantly tried to not choke on his food.

Sam and Bucky meanwhile, had kind of squared up against each other, both standing opposite the other, with about three feet between them, and fixing the other with a snarky, triumphant kind of expression.

Sam broke the silence first.

"So, finally made it back, did you? Did the kid and the dog have to slow down for old man Barnes?"

"We took the scenic route, something you wouldn't know about, having so little stamina."

Then, as if they had planned it, Sam whistled sharply at the same time that Bucky stuck his hand in his hoodie pocket.

The human hand came out holding a little raccoon securely in its grasp.

"This is Arthur. He can't be returned to the wild, because one of his hind legs got stuck in a trap and they had to amputate it. And just so you know, I had no problems at all filling out his adoption forms."

At the same time a white cockatoo came flying into the room and landed on Sam's shoulder.

"This is Eames. He used to belong to a very ill mannered Londoner, and randomly spouts British swearwords, which is why no one wanted to adopt him. We bonded over calling you a bloody bastard." The "Bloody Bastard" was directly repeated by Eames. Sam smiled at his bird. "See? And for your information, I have no trouble at all with showing my emotional side."

The two stared at each other for a moment, processing what had been said.

"Why would I want to know that you filled out his papers by yourself?"

"Why would I care that you are not afraid to show your feelings?"

A stretch of silence followed, as everyone in the room was now staring at the two men and their new pets. Then, again creepily in sync, both men turned their gazes to the couch where two teenagers and one redheaded super spy were sitting.

"Pete..."

"Michelle..."

Natasha helpfully took hold of Peter's plate as the two teens stood up from the couch, quickly bowed to her, "Thank you, Sensei.", and then ran out of the room like the hounds of hell were behind them.

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rickktish · 5 years

Text

Recompense

Endeavor really does topple from his high high tower, and the fall of it is great and magnificent and immeasurably painful for everyone involved.

All of his children find their lives completely disrupted with all the media attention and rabid reporting that comes from a giant’s fall from grace.

Natsuo is the best off for a while because no one has any idea he’s endeavor’s son, until some reporter follows a paper trail that isn’t even supposed to exist anymore and winds up on the doorstep of his place of work asking for Todoroki Natsuo, Endeavor’s most neglected son. All of his coworkers know him as Yukizome Natsuo because he changed his name as soon as he moved out to his mother’s maiden name. Unfortunately, he’s the only Natsuo there and now everyone knows, which drags him into the mess as well.

Endeavor tries to avoid legal action by saying that he was trying to do better, he was working on being better, but he does not escape the justice system. As well as jail time, he has court-mandated therapy which he has to attend even when he’s no longer incarcerated. In therapy, he’s forced to realize that his children and wife are people and that he hurt them.

He made an impulsive decision when he was a teenager— the decision to do whatever it took to overtake All Might— which doesn’t seem impulsive because of the long-reaching effects it’s had on his life and others, but it was impulsive. It wasn’t thought through, it was instantaneous. He had an idea, he made a plan, and he stuck with it for over twenty years.

It takes a full two years of mandatory weekly therapy to have a breakthrough— an Aha! moment when he finally gets it. He finally gets that his wife has thoughts and feelings, that his children are more than products they are people, that he has caused each and every member of his family incredible pain and suffering. It shakes him down to his very core, this sudden empathy (except it hasn’t been sudden at all, this is what his therapist has been trying to get him to realize all along and they’ve been working toward this point for so long his therapist had nearly given up hope) that destroys every excuse, every reason, every point he’s ever made in favor of his treatment of them. They are real, and they are afraid, and they hate him because he has hurt them.

It takes him three full weeks to leave the house after he gets home from that particular session. His therapist has to hunt him down, come to his house, slap him back into the real world, and tell him that if he really feels so bad about it he ought to try to do something as recompense.

It takes another year and a half after that of working through issues to convince him to try and apologize.

It takes another six months for him to actually start writing letters of apology.

His therapist says that physical letters will mean more; say more; show more, and he takes their advice.

It takes another year to actually send any of the letters. He sends the first one to Rei.

His hero license was revoked, but being the Number Two Hero for so long built him up enough savings to last the rest of his life, even after paying reparations. He can’t get work, so it’s a good thing he doesn’t need to. Oh, how the mighty do fall; the higher they stand, the deeper they plunge. He takes up gardening simply to have something to do. It doesn’t go well at first, but as he learns more and grows more and tries harder and harder to heal, his garden slowly gets better and better, beginning to flourish as he becomes gentler and more mellow with the plants.

It takes three months before she’s actually able to bring herself to open the letter.

It takes another four before she feels she’s able to reply.

The letter arrives in his mailbox like the sunrise, and he holds it in trembling hands for two hours before he’s actually able to open it.

It says a lot of things, some painful, some kind, some horrifying, and all true.

It ends thus:

“In spite of it all, I find that I can’t help but find it in myself to forgive you.”

He calls his therapist right then and there to share the good news.

His therapist reminds him that this is only a beginning; it doesn’t mean things are going to be good right away, this is only the opening of a dialogue, not the conclusion of the journey.

Chastised, he writes another letter.

They begin a regular correspondence, hesitant, halting at first, but eventually blooming into real communication. They stick with physical letters, the delay giving each of them time to live, to experience the world around them in between.

A month after Rei replies to his first letter, he begins sending the others.

First to Fuyumi, who was always quickest to forgive. It was not out of love for him, he now knows, but out of longing for something to call normal, something to be happy for.

She replies eagerly, and they also take up a correspondence, though it’s still nearly a year before she allows him any further part in her life.

Second to Touya, who has been in prison for several years at this point. He does not expect or imagine that he will receive anything in response, though he’s not particularly surprised when what he does get back is a single image of a rude hand gesture, drawn hastily and without much skill. He will continue to send letters every year to Touya on the anniversary of the day he ran away from home, on Touya’s birthday, and on the anniversary of Endeavor’s own arrest for decades to come, receiving slowly improving drawings of the same rude hand gesture all along the way.

He lines the pictures up along the seam between wall and ceiling in his living room, watching the style and skill change and progress. By the time anything changes in their correspondence, years and years and years down the line, he has lined nearly every room in the entire house with the drawings. The last several are true art, with magnificent detail and shading and realism that would shock any visitor if anyone actually bothered to visit him.

Third he sends a letter to Natsuo. Natsuo, whose name he barely remembered for most of his son’s childhood. Natsuo, whose birthday he had to look up on his birth certificate because he had no idea when it was. Natsuo, who Fuyumi raised on her own after Rei was put away and Touya ran off. Natsuo, who raised himself because no one in his household would even look at him much of the time, either out of lack of interest, being needed for other things, or because it was forbidden. Natsuo, who no one even knew existed until that reporter followed that paper trail that shouldn’t have existed, because everyone knew one of Endeavor’s sons disappeared, everyone knew Endeavor’s daughter when she was a teaching college, everyone knew Endeavor’s youngest was a prodigy who nearly won the sports festival in his first year, but no one knew about invisible Natsuo.

He gets no reply from Natsuo for over two years. It is not a surprise.

The sting he feels at the rejection is not a good one (though perhaps it is, in a way: this is what he deserves, after all. This is justice. This is right. To be ignored by the child he ignored for so longis— fitting in a deep, nearly unspeakable way) but it is an important one. It teaches him things he cannot express in mere words.

Fourth of his children to receive a letter of apology from him is the one he thinks he truly hurt the most. Isolated, imprisoned, tortured, sometimes starved; what few things he did not do to this child were the line that would have meant his permanent incarceration, and had he crossed it he would have felt himself worthy of death.

(he thought he was anyway, for that first three weeks of waking, of awareness, of soul-deep pain inexpressible in its magnitude. His therapist told him that no, he did not deserve death. Death is not a thing one deserves, merely a thing one must experience as part of being mortal. Nor is death itself an atonement: it cannot make up for horrible acts, any more than financial compensation can make up for destroyed homes in a villain attack. Perhaps there is an atonement to be made after death, but it can bring no comfort to those left behind in the realm of the living. No, his death cannot make amends. Only he can do that, and to die then would have been to leave a permanent wound on all those he has injured which would never be able to be healed.)

His letter to Shouto is his longest and, while they are all equally heartfelt, certainly the one he made and revised and burned the most drafts over. His son is a pro hero, exactly as he wished him to be, but he makes no mention of that. His son is gay, which is one of the many things that led to the final fight with Touya so many years ago, but he makes no mention of that either, outside of an ambiguously stated “I hope that you have found comfort in those who love you and those who you love, and that together you are happy.” The entire letter walks a fine line between graphic acknowledgment of the horrors he forced this child to experience and tactful reference to difficult subjects with no outright statement of them. He asked his therapist to review it a dozen times before sending, and even then he’s uncertain about it. He wants to validate his son’s experience, express to him that he knows and understands exactly what he did that was wrong and why, but doesn’t want to dredge up painful memories in doing so. It seems impossible to do both.

The first three weeks after he sends Shouto’s letter are almost a perfect reflection of the weeks after his moment of realization. He doesn’t leave his house; he hardly eats or sleeps; his garden begins to wither with neglect as everything tumbles down and he spends all of his time gazing at a single wall with eyes leaking freely, tearing at his hair and moaning as he feels the depth and breadth of his sins crushing him from all sides. For the second time since he began this process, his therapist physically goes to his home and slaps him back into awareness, forces him to shower, feeds him, and makes him sleep until he’s nearly human again.

They talk about it. His guilt, his grief, his fear that nothing he does will ever make up for what he has done. His therapist reminds him that what he’s already done is already done, and he’s not trying to balance the scales in doing this, not trying to even out all the bad things with too few good ones far too late; that’s not how people work and that’s not how making amends works. He’s trying to heal wounds and scar tissue. He’s trying to make that which hurt both him and his family become something that doesn’t hurt as much anymore, and the best case scenario, the absolute dream, is that he can go even beyond that and make something good in the end. His therapist reminds him that while recompense means to compensate, to weigh one thing against another and try to come out equal, its purpose is much deeper and much more than that. His recompense is no mere equivocation, but instead a pursuit of what can be. His family has already seen the worst of him. It is only fitting that he try now to give them the best.

It takes some more talking and contemplation and working in his garden some more, but he gets there again and is able to go back to his regular routine, the uncertainty of whether or not Shouto will reply and what effect his letter might have had on him moving from oppressing fear and looming horror into quiet nervousness almost too faint to notice once again.

Time moves on. He keeps going to therapy. He keeps writing letters to Touya. He keeps up his correspondence with Rei and Fuyumi.

Someday, he meets Fuyumi for lunch. It’s awkward at first, because they have never truly talked in person, but that’s okay. There’s a point where they both break down laughing at how shy they’re being, and then the atmosphere and the conversation warm to a pleasant, comfortable thing, and they part well. And they heal.

Someday, Natsuo replies to his letter. It takes a long time, but eventually, they too meet and Enji has the chance to apologize properly, face to face. He cries. Natsuo is silent for a time, and then expresses the pain and rage and hurt he’s been feeling for so long, and it’s freeing, and he cries too. And then they’re two big, stocky men sitting somewhere crying. And eventually, Natsuo stands to leave, but before he does Enji says one last time, “I’m sorry. I do love you,” and Natsuo walks out with a fresh wave of new tears.

Eventually, they meet again, and it’s as awkward and uncomfortable as it was with Fuyumi, but it’s okay. And they part well. And they heal.

Someday, Rei leaves the hospital. She doesn’t want to live with him again and that’s okay. She gets her own place, farther than a pleasant walk from his but close enough that they can visit. He doesn’t go to her home, she comes to his. They talk. They’re amiable. There’s a kind of love between them that should never truly be called love, but is instead a kind of contentment; a peace to be found in each other that can’t quite be expressed in words or thoughts or pictures but simply is. And they heal.

Someday, he visits Touya in prison and he says all the things he’s been writing in each letter, everything he’s been finding new ways to say and to think and expressing them anew every single time, and this time it’s in person. And Enji cries, just a little bit, gently. And Touya doesn’t look at him. But it’s okay, because he’s said it, and he’ll continue to say it until the day he dies.

Someday, Natsuo introduces Enji to his husband. Fuyumi introduces him to her spouse. Rei watches their kids, because they’re not sure they’re quite comfortable with that yet, but they meet for lunch and get to know each other a little bit. And much is said, and much goes unsaid, and it’s a little awkward but it’s peaceful and they again part well.

Someday, Enji is allowed to meet his grandchildren. He’s very gentle with them, moving slowly and never once igniting a flame on his face or shoulders around them. He holds their small hands in his big ones and smiles gently and listens as they tell him about themselves and their lives and their days. He watches and carefully imitates Natsuo’s younger son’s hands as he shows him some basic signs for when they don’t have their hearing aids in.

Someday, Fuyumi gives birth again and this time, for the first time, he’s allowed to be there, waiting in the waiting room for when she’s ready for visitors. He holds his granddaughter and thinks this, this is what he was missing out on for so many years, and he cries, and he’s so unspeakably grateful that they’ve allowed him to be a part of this moment, of their lives.

Someday, Shouto sends him a text. There’s no letter, no long description or explanation or list of reasons he hates him or anything; it’s only a simple text that invites him to dinner. He goes, and they meet, and he meets his son’s friends, and his fiance, and the family Shouto has built for himself from the ground up because his own family was never a family at all, but now it can be. And at the end of the night, Shouto invites him outside to talk. And Shouto explains to him how he felt when he got his letter, and what he thought, and all the many thoughts that have run through his mind over the years. He tells how relieved he was when Endeavor survived that Noumu. He tells how conflicted he felt over that relief. He tells how hurt he was by the way he was raised and all the things he’s had to learn and unlearn and relearn and experience because of Enji’s actions.

He tells how recently someone who hurt a lot of people in their class decided to change herself, to reinvent herself and make amends, and how that has made him realize that it’s okay to let people change, to believe that they can change, and to let them back into your life when they’ve changed. And then he tells Enji that he doesn’t want to be stuck in the past anymore. He doesn’t want to be trapped by what was, caught in a never-ending cycle of hurt and confusion and pain and fear and what will cross the line, what will set the whole thing ablaze? And he tells Enji he would really like to get to know this new person who was once his father, who might have some small chance of someday becoming his dad. And he invites Enji to his wedding. And Enji says he’ll be there.

Someday, Enji attends his youngest son’s wedding. Rei is there. Fuyumi and her spouse and her children are there, the youngest still red and almost smaller than Endeavor’s hand. Natsuo and his husband are there with their two little boys, whose hearing aids appear to have been given white casings for the special occasion, or perhaps sloppily spray painted by small, inexperienced hands, if the quirk of Natsuo’s mouth and slightly exasperated lilt to his shoulders is anything to go by. And all that Enji can think is that of all the things he ever imagined for his life, this was certainly never one of them, but taken all together, he’s so, so happy that this is how it’s turned out. It will still be a work in progress moving forward. It will always be a work in progress, if his therapist is to be believed. But that’s okay, because within this work in progress, in this recompense there is healing, and there is joy, and there is this, and this—

This is peace.

#endeavor #todoroki enji #bnha #mha #rick's fics #complete #rick's originals #don't just yeet him into the sun let them all heal damnit #i did this instead of homework

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nny11writes · 5 years

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How do you think Ahsoka actually felt about her betrayal/departure from the Order? I’m hoping the new season will touch on it, but like is she really sad? Angry? Confused? Like the order is all she’s ever known, she doesn’t know how to live a normal civilian life, it was probably one of the darkest periods of her life. How does one teenager cope with that, on top of everything she has seen as a child soldier?

Anon, you KNOW I’m down to rant/ramble!!!!I think she’s feeling basically ALL the emotions at once. She was betrayed by a friend, someone who she thought and believed would turn to her in times of need because Ahsoka had proven she was trustworthy herself. Someone whose life she saved, someone who she shared a traumatic experience with (which can lead to very tight bonding between people). I think she does feel betrayed to a certain degree by the Order itself. She spent her whole life as a Jedi, it’s all she wanted, it’s all she worked towards, and she believed in them. She is culturally a Jedi, the Order and the Temple /are/ her culture. It’s also her religion, and a faith that while she’s had some ups and downs with, it was something she believed in completely.But if the Order could be so blind and so wrong, could turn so quickly on one of their own, could fail what should have been one of their rising stars (Barriss), and they were /wrong/...because I think that Ahsoka might actually understand Barriss’s logic, not completely agree but she can see it now that it’s been pointed out. Ahsoka has been to a degree a blind follower for her whole life. It took a dear friend betraying her and her family seemingly turning its back on her to shake Ahsoka’s faith. Her faith in the Order, the Jedi, their teachings, and ultimately that became a shake up regarding herself as well.Barriss Offee, BARRISS OFFEE, should never have felt so isolated and scared and hurt and angry and bitter. But the Order did not notice, or did not care, and where a safety net of support should have caught her and helped nothing appeared and Barriss fell.Ahsoka wasn’t there when someone she cared about needed her. She wasn’t even aware. The Order wasn’t aware. I think this is where Ahsoka gets so scared and angry and hurt. She knows that she’s a good person and that the Order is overall a good institution to have. I think she still believes in the Republic and the Jedi Order. But if these horrible things could happen first to Barriss and then to Ahsoka herself, then what else could happen? What else IS happening right now? How many people are suffering like this and no one notices or cares because they are vaunted Jedi and famous Commanders?She’s confused. She doesn’t know what to do about all of this, let alone think or /feel/ about this. Ahsoka barely even knows what happened. I don’t think she knows how to process everything she’s realized/had happen, and I also think that Ahsoka struggles between what she was taught to do in these situations and the feeling that if those same teachings failed so miserably why should she trust them.In the Ahsoka novel we also learn that Ahsoka had a lot of feelings of not being good enough. That realizing she didn’t have to be some prodigy with god like skills and knowledge to still be good and important in her chosen career (mechanics) was an awakening for her.I think she probably feels worthless without her position as a Jedi and a Commander. And when she’s not feeling so depressed and anxious, she probably instead just feels lost and cut adrift.On good days she’s hopeful and determined, ready to do some heavy soul searching and go out and experience the wider galaxy. On bad days she thinks about how leaving was a horrible mistake, and how she “can never go back”. (She can, but I don’t think a teenager who has been so hurt and traumatized, and then left everything she’d ever known to seek a better, healthier life for herself would realize that she could change her mind.)I think no matter what she’s feeling at any given time, even when she’s absolutely overwhelmed by all of them slamming into her at once that she cares about people and wants to help. That’s why she goes vigilante on Coruscant for a while (which I believe we’re going to see some of that and I’m stoked!).And I think that at this time Ahsoka thinks her only worth is as a weapon or a tool.So when this all combines, we get a teenager who is living on the edges of society, without support, without a sense of safety and security. A teen who thinks that the lives of everyone around her are her responsibility to protect. Someone who thinks that she must sacrifice everything for others and without support is burning the candle from both ends. She already has the regular teenage hormonal mood swings but now that comes packed with all the shitty extras from her time as a child soldier, a prisoner, a slave, and more. I think when her hope can’t carry her forward, and her confusion and sadness become too much, that Ahsoka can feel her anger burning hotter and brighter and is scared.Because anger and fear are common in her life now, and that’s the first step to darkness right?So what does she do? She copes unhealthily. Between the anger, the belief that she is a tool/weapon, her feeling like her only true skill set is fighting, and feeling the soul crushing responsibility for everyone she even lays eyes on...Ahsoka goes out and finds trouble to solve. Troubles she can beat back and innocents she can protect and help. It’s not healthy for a child, and a teenager is a child, to go on their own to fight /gangs/ because they don’t know what else to do. I know Star Wars is aimed at kids so the stars are normally pretty young. Teenagers to young adults (kids will “read up” and be invested in the stories of kids their age and older, they rarely “read down” and get as invested in stories about children younger than them. That’s why so many YA protags are in the 15-19 age range.). So one could argue that within the text of the Star Wars universe (and there is a specific term for this that I just can’t remember????), that Ahsoka going forth at roughly 17-19 years old and kicking ass while trying to save the galaxy is totally okay and normal. I mean, Padme Amidala was the ruler of a planet at 14! Jedi Padawans go into combat situations usually starting between 12-15! Ahsoka’s at least older!And like, yeah, true. But also that’s still seriously messed up and the galaxy needs to maybe stop putting so much pressure and responsibility on literal children thanks.The thing about unhealthy coping mechanisms (such as “I’m lost in the galaxy, hurt and alone, and all I know to do is punch people. Guess I gotta go take down ALL ORGANIZED CRIME ON THE PLANET”), is that sometimes it’s the only thing you have. I’m not a trained psychologist, therapist, or counselor. But as someone with mental illness, I know that in the past I used terrible coping mechanisms to deal with the pain and trauma and emotions I had. While I didn’t try to take down the mob with my fists, I think Ahsoka is still doing what so many of us do. Trying to pretend we’re ok, pushing our emotions aside, beating ourselves up and then beating ourselves up for beating ourselves up, and then looking for distraction. For me that was video games and alcohol, for Ahsoka it was kicking dudes in the face for the greater good.I think that during this period of time, this is really all Ahsoka has. And while it was not a healthy way to deal with it, it was better than not doing anything at all. I think that as she did this, Ahsoka also began to reconcile some of her feelings and thoughts to her new world. I think Ahsoka came to realize that she still had worth as a person even if she wasn’t a Jedi and even if she wasn’t perfect. I think Ahsoka slowly learned during this period that she didn’t /have/ to be anything in particular. That making mistakes and being afraid are normal. That anger is by itself not unhealthy or bad for you. I think Ahsoka was going through a synthesis of sorts where she learned to trust herself first, and then reaffirmed her faith in the Force. Between having faith in herself and having her personal faith/religion back, Ahsoka became more confident. She learned how to pick apart her thoughts and feelings much better. She began to trust some of her teachings and I think that helped her heal a bit in regards to the Order.I think one of the under appreciated tragedies in Ahsoka’s life is that she was /healing/. She wasn’t just surviving, she was starting to thrive and truly grow into herself as a young adult. I think Ahsoka was on track to get her life going in the best direction possible.And then Order 66 happened.And Ahsoka lost everything again, but this time she had no choice in the matter. This time she had the guilt of wondering if she should have spent more time with everyone before they died. Now she can’t openly be who she truly is. I think that’s why Ahsoka is probably literally depressed at the start of the Ahsoka novel. She had just found her mooring, she’d finally charted a path by the stars, and she was ready to open herself up again- and it was not only ripped away horrifically but then the trauma just continued on and on. Each news broadcast boasting about the Jedi that Lord Vader wiped out this week reopening the wound. Every time she sees a stormtrooper, every Imperial uniform that she was once so proud to see is a fresh trauma.This time Ahsoka has no way to process anything, she doesn’t even get to develop a coping mechanism at all. Ahsoka is forced into survival mode constantly. And so she shuts down emotionally and that’s where we find her at the start of the novel.Basically: I AM PUMPED AND TERRIFIED AND REALLY, REALLY UNDER PREPARED TO HAVE STAR WARS DESTROY MY SOUL WHEN I GET TO WATCH AHSOKA STRUGGLE AND FAIL AND TRY AND WORK AND FINALLY SUCCEED KNOWING THAT IT’S GOING TO CRASH DOWN AROUND HER IN A MILLION FINE SHARDS OF GLASS.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #Ahsoka Tano #headcanon #headcanons #meta?#JUST SHOOT ME NOW DAVE #GET IT OVER ASHLEY #Y'ALL KNOW I'M GONNA DIE OF A CASE OF TOO MANY FEELINGS #Ahsoka's had a shitty life honestly #I like her so much because she's come out of all of that bs #and she's still trying to help people #and she's still working to make the galaxy a better place #I just love her so much y'all #long post #rant #ramble #Anonymous

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promptosbouncybuns · 6 years

Text

Can we please not tear ships down or character bash because of our agendas?

This somehow became super long...sorry.

Wanna know what Mai and Aang have in common?

They are normally the two biggest recipients of, honestly, really stupid accusations.

Aang is apparently abusive in that he kissed Katara once while she wasn't very consenting to it at the time.

He's 12 and does stupid things but please hold him accountable for all time despite how disappointed in himself he looked right after. He didn't even pursue her after she stepped back. He saw his error and pulled away.

He apparently doesn't care about Katara? Despite literally giving up his chance to take full control of his avatar state just to go save her from a vision that may or may not have been real. I mean he could have just been like...ok...meh...Idc. Avatar state yip yip!

Then in LOK he just used her as a baby maker...never mind that apparently Katara had enough power or sway to outlaw bloodbending. Plus...guys...she's old when we see her in that series and has always been more family centered.

Not saying she became just a regular housewife after she married Aang but as stated before, she old! She's been through enough and if she wants some peace and solitude after dealing with the loss of her Friends, her Brother, and her Husband than...let the woman be pls. Even Toph didn't really want to fight anymore since old age had finally cought up with her and she's younger than Katara! If she doesn't want to fight but instead heal, let her do as she pleases. Plus you all sound like being a housewife and taking care of your children is a death sentance. Not all fighters are in the battle all the time.

Somehow Aang is also depicted as only seeing Katara as a trophy...Honestly I don't see how this got so convoluted but anyone who saw the series can say he doesn't think or her that way. He loves her, sees her as his best friend, and as probably one of the best masters to ever teach him. He's shown her tremendous respect as a friend, pupil, and love interest. He's listened to her and has grown from her wisdom.

Its also just crapping all over Katara as a character when people have this line of thinking. She's stronger than that, and would never be a prize to anyone, not even the avatar. If she wants to be with him she will. Kinda like how in the last episode when Aang walks out, she follows and is the one to kiss him.

I've always seen them as opposites, not in elements but in personalities. Also their similarites tend to correlate too!

Katara is at times a stick in the mud and Aang helps her have a childhood with the fun he brings her. She's had to grow up fast and undertake a lot of chores around her village. She's strong and outspoken, at times very loudly. She's passionate, even in the face of supposed peril, where there is no way she can prevail. She's strong and cares for others, almost to a fault since she took up precious days till the eclipse to help firenation people she didnt know.

Aang is a playful soul that hates being tied down. He'd rather have fun, and has been raised to seek leisure instead of responsibility. Its because of this that makes him so childish, until he meets her and is shown that his destiny is to bring balance to the world. He may not be physically strong but like Katara he isn't weak willed. He's passionate about protecting people and bringing harmony back to the four nations. While his passion isn't quite so loud, he can inspire people.

She's helped curb his childishness, and has helped instill in him responsibility. She won't let him shirk things off or procrastinate. She even was willing to let Aang learn waterbending without her because it was for the greater good.

Through these actions she's helped Aang embrace his old soul vibe and have it feel justified. He sees through her that what he does now will have an impact on the world and he best be getting to it.

I've always seen them as a couple that is silly, cute, and can get things done. I can see them being older and being more familiar with each other and it can lead to them having very intense intimate energy. I mean in the series, they're kids so...not really into thinking about them that way at that age. They can communate well so, there will be less fights and a lot of understanding. Definitely not boring.

As for Mai well...apparently people just don't understand her sense of humor and personality. She's got dry humor and is very direct in a lot of things. She doesn't sugar coat things and shys away from expression a lot of times.It somehow comes off as abusive?

Her telling Zuko to never break up with her again is supposed to be a joke, seeing as the last time he did, she literally had to save his bum from being boiled alive...

Then you have the infamous scene where they were together again after season 2 and while Zuko angsts, Mai tries to redirect his thoughts from such dark depths. Honestly, what do you say to that? Should you say its going to be ok? Because that just seems empty amd shallow.

Plus Mai, being emotionally stunted, doesn't really know how to navigate emotional waters. You also have to keep in mind that they finally get to have a conversation after all these years so obviously they aren't going to really know one another and how to communicate well.

So her not coddling and not letting him angst over things neither of them can know or deal with till it actually happens is dismissive of his abuse? I don't thinks so. Its honestly saying we will have to wait and see how things have changed once you are actually back home, so lets not dwell on them so much.

Of course, then you have her bringing up what happened last time Zuko was in a war meeting which is somehow abusive too. You know, its the same thing Iroh brought up in season 1 Ep. 3. So Iroh is abusive too now. It feels like people are saying don't bring up someone's abuse, ever, even if its to help them from potentially repeating the same pain.

She's trying to stop him caring and in her very direct way says that its not worth the pain of what could happen again if he attends. She's genuinely worried about him and doesn't want him hurt more physically or emotionally.

Then they like to say Mai doesn't care about Zuko really and that she just likes his status. They also say she's abusive with how she doesn't like anything he does for her. The biggest scene used is from the Beach showing Mai non-plussed by him giving her a shell and ice cream.

For one, Zuko wasn't acting like Zuko at all that first bit of the episode. He didn't take into account what Mai liked as apposed to what other girls liked. I mean while Ty Lee may like the shell, does that mean every girl has to like it otherwise they're a complete bish? Also...who here likes having ice cream fall on them? Honestly Mai could have made a huge deal about getting it on her but chose to crack a wry, but as always, dry joke about it.

Also please note that in this same episode Mai deals with an abusive S/O very correctly. Zuko's been acting off and it culminates with him pushing a guy back who happened to be talking to her. He makes a scene and insults her in front of everyone once she calls him out on his actions. Does she get even and call him worse? Nope. She simply says that their relationship is over and thats it. Though she looks conflicted by this, she stands firm despite Zuko trying to get handsy with her twice later in the episode. She holds him accountable but says she still loves him. I'd have an issue with this if they didnt have Zuko tell her and everyone whats been eating at him so long.

If she didnt know whats been making him act so hostile and crazy then how can she know that Zuko's not just an abusive jerk showing his true colors after all this time. Not saying that it made his actions right, but I feel her knowing the why instead of leaving it a mystery helped Mai reason through forgiving him.

As for her just wanting the power of his position, thats just really, really, really, lazy. She's from a noble family and is friends with the firenation princess...or as I like to say, unfortunately trapped in Azula's orbit. She'd be well off as it is if she kept her connection to Azula, but she didn't. She chose to go against a firebending prodigy, essentially turning her back on the firenation and her family to save the jerk who dumped her by letter.

Nope! Mai doesn't give a Flamio about Zuko himself. She just wants his title.

Opposites seem to attract and in this case its definitely with personalities since...ya know...Mai can't bend elements.

Zuko is passionately driven to a scary degree. He's hyper focused on finding the avatar despite the 100 years no one's seen them. He can be hot tempered and easily set off. He cares for people even to the point he'd rather starve than rob pregnant couple for food. He's brash, and doesn't think things through.

Mai is quietly, but strongly passionate for Zuko, even if its detrimental to her as with challenging Azula. She has learned to keep her temper and other emotions under lock and key, and is not easily set off. She cares about those she's put time and energy into. She's fairly classy, choosing her words wisely and she's definitely done a lot of thinking about what she wants or needs to do as far as her actions.

Zuko's shown that its ok to be expressive, and that its ok for her to do so. He wants to see her free of her parents emotional abuse so that she won't be so guarded.

Through Mai's personality, she's helped temper....Zuko's temper. He won't be so quick to flip his lid and do things without thinking them through. Like fire to a knife Zuko's helped make Mai burn bright and she's given him a sheith for his wild emotions.

I've always seen them as the quiet but intense love kinda couple. They may not have the best communication skills and this could lead to a lot of arguments but their love for one another is stronger. Eventually the sands of time will smooth them, break down walls and allow them to understand one another better.

I'm all for pretty much any ship in atla, and I love how fanfiction can actually help strengthen my love for it more than the actual show. The creativity and OOC that some writers pull off can be amazing and help you really like a character in a certain way or open your eyes to a new pairing.

However, if you wanna like ships, like them because you can, but don't go and take obviously innocent things and blow them out of proportion.

Here is convoluted, misconstrued, out of context information to say person X is evil and shouldnt be with person Y. W shouldn't be with person Z....therefore, Person Z and Person Y should be together because their partners are obviously abusive.

The...What? Three to maybe five episodes of screentime together as begrudgingly budding friends is enough to show exactly how they will be if they got together. Which these episodes can bring about interestingly creative ideas, however people act like that this is the definitive reason Z/Y should be together and any other pairing with the other two is completely abusive.

Just to be clear...if you like Zutara, thats great, I do too. I can imagine them in any number of ways. Them being enemies to lovers, or knowing each other before becoming star crossed lovers, or everythings all good in the univers and they love each other so so much!

However, in none of these headcannons do I see the need to bash Aang or Mai. I don't need to come up with stupid reasonings for Zuko and Katara to be together. If I want them to be together in a story or piece of art, I'll do it and be classy about it. I won't have Katara say Aang assaulted her and fly into Zuko's arms, pushing Mai down saying she's a manipulative bish. Because...she and Aang aren't.

At all.

Im just tired of the mental gymnastics shippers go through to spread hate for one ship so they can have another. Half the time its not even true facts but just people seeing it from an angle that aligns with their agenda.

If you like something, you like it, but don't crap on other ships or characters wrongly to justify it.

Sorry if this is a mess but god, seeing most of these accusations against Aang had me honestly cringing. I thought it was mainly against Mai because...she got Zuko and isn't bubbly, motherly, and...well Katara. So when Anti-Kataang reasons somehow showed up on the old dash, I felt my faith in humanity plummet.

Like...I hope you guys can sleep well at night knowing you've literally slandered a cinnamon roll who's in touch with his feelings, something most of you would protect if it where for any other ship. Like people just starting the series potentially arent going to be too keen on Aang himself at all simply because of this misinformation. But no...just to have one ship you equated this kid to a sexually abusive monster. Good job. 10/10. Slow 👏 for you guys. Be proud.

#zutara #maiko #kataang #anti-zutara #anti-maiko #anti-kataang #atla #a small rant at stupid reasons.#so done with charcter bashing #ship what you want #but dont be an ass about it

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raendown · 7 years

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@mouseymightymarvellous I hear your cries for more same age au and I deliver, with pleasure my dear.

Pairing: KakashiSakura Word count: 2744 Summary: Growing up together means changing together and Kakashi has always seen her from afar.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

When We Were Young

She was soft and too pink and Kakashi hated her. How was he ever meant to become a great ninja and erase the stain of his father’s name if he couldn’t even be paired with decent teammates? He’d thought since Obito and Rin were both sick his temporary team might be better, might have stronger members that would help him grow instead of hold him back like usual. This was not what he had expected.

As if the rambunctious blonde who failed to catch him in a poorly concealed trap when he arrived wasn’t enough, the idiot pink-haired girl moping off to one side was a whole different story of terrible. Upon discovering that he would be standing in for “Sasuke-kun” today she had all but folded in half with disappointment and the already incorrect grip she had on her kunai had fallen out of place even more. Kakashi sniffed in her direction, thoroughly disappointed. These two were barely ninjas and would probably never make it past genin. Was the blond one really Sensei’s son?

For the entire day of training under the strangely emotionless Sai-sensei, all that Haruno Sakura did was compare him to her precious Sasuke-kun. She spoke of the boy constantly and told Kakashi how in love she was three times in just the first hour. By the end he was ready to stab both her and the poor idiot who obviously didn’t like her back.

And why should he? There was nothing to like; there was no substance to her. Sakura’s feet stood for Sasuke, her arms lifted for Sasuke, her heart beat for Sasuke. There was not a single part of her that fought for her own sake and Kakashi couldn’t stand the weakness of it. Didn’t she realize that love would break her? He would have pitied her if he could be bothered with the emotion but it was much easier to dismiss all three of these useless people from his mind.

When Kakashi left training he left his thoughts of Sakura behind him. He went back to Obito and Rin, still just as useless but at least a kind of useless he could work with. He went back to Minato-sensei, the strongest shinobi he had ever met who he just knew would cave and teach him the hiraishin one of these days. If he didn’t then Kakashi would just have to learn how to be faster by himself.

ii.

He was broken when she found him and even if he didn’t know it then this was only the first time that she would put him back together. She led him back to the fading light with whispers of hope, of Obito surviving, of a surgery gone well. Kakashi felt like she was pulling his head above the water and giving him air to breathe when for a minute he’d forgotten how.

Later it would shame him that he’d forgotten her so quickly in the moment, although she always insisted that she didn’t blame him. He was only twelve and the only friend he’d never even realized he had was alive, alive, alive. Obito was breathing despite odds. His arm would never be the same again and his leg had been amputated but his heart was beating steadily as Kakashi collapsed across his chest and wept like he hadn’t since his father had been alive.

Only after the storm had passed and he sat wiping at his face in embarrassment did a very tired Rin murmur quietly that it was all thanks to Sakura-chan.

“She did what I couldn’t,” his teammate told him with a hitch in her breath. “You both did. I was no help; I never am. But you brought him home and Sakura-chan brought him back to life and I just stood there like a stupid lump!”

“You’re not useless, Rin.” She looked at him like she’s never seen him before and Kakashi found that somehow more embarrassing than crying in front of her. “It was my fault the both of you were in danger in the first place. Obito was brave. And so were you. Both of you are always…really brave.”

Brave for facing the emotions that he’d never been able to face before. What he had always seen as a weakness they used as a strength and that was something he admired. Minato-sensei had been trying to teach him for years the truth about teamwork but it had taken him until now to get it. A team was not built on the back of whoever was strongest. No, a team was built on the strength of all of its members, every person bringing a skill to the table to cover the weaknesses of others and create an impenetrable unit.

He found the one he was looking for slumped over and sleeping on a bench. Sakura was only twelve years old, just the same as he was, but she had assisted with a seven hour surgery after being awoken in the middle of the night and she must have been very tired. Instead of disturbing her, Kakashi sniffed out the closest linen closet and brought her a blanket. It settled over her like the peace settling in his chest, a feeling he wasn’t familiar with. Fitting, he thought. The whole world around him looked unfamiliar now.

“Thank you.” He left his words as a whisper in her ear before disappearing down the hallway back to Obito’s room, not bothering to check over his shoulder to see bright green eyes fluttering awake.

iii.

Obviously he heard about Tsunade. The whole village had heard about Tsunade. She was sort of hard to miss as she came marching down the streets of Konoha bellowing, “Bring me your prodigy!” as though she hadn’t abandoned the village years ago.

Kakashi didn’t find out the context for this until late that night, huddled behind the academy with Rin and Obito, trading sips from a can of red bean tea. That was when Rin told him with only the shadow of jealously in her voice that the Lady Tsunade had returned to Konoha to chase the rumors of a medical prodigy.

She was here to apprentice Haruno Sakura.

Turning this information over in his mind slowly, Kakashi contemplated what he should say to that. She deserved it, in his opinion. If not for her Obito wouldn’t be sitting beside him wearing a prosthetic leg, tired from a long day of physical therapy. On the other hand, she wasn’t who his loyalty was owed to.

“Well you’ll just have to show her that there are two prodigies in the Leaf,” he said, carefully not looking over in Rin’s direction. “Lady Tsunade better be ready to have two apprentices.”

He dodged the hug and scowled at the hair ruffling. It was as easy as ever to turn Obito’s teasing comments in to light hearted bickering, the very foundation of their friendship which continued to this day no matter how much stronger their bonds had grown. Just because he was learning what it was to have friends didn’t mean he enjoyed being the center of attention any more than he used to. What mattered was that Rin was smiling again and looked more determined than ever and he hoped Sakura was prepared for a little competition.

iv.

She split the ground with her fist the first time he saw her in a battle and Kakashi felt his heart cracking along the fault lines, fluttering like a weak thing behind his ribs. It was hard to believe she was the same bubblegum girl he had hated on first sight and a part of him wondered if she still moved and breathed and fought for her Sasuke-kun. Joining ANBU had kept him from fighting with the regular forces – even Rin and Obito hadn’t been at his side in nearly a year now – so it was rather easy to see how he might have never seen Team 7 fight before.

It was also easy to see he’d been missing out.

Although it might have been an odd detail to latch on to, Kakashi couldn’t help but notice that she had cut her hair. The pink strands were sweat drenched and dirt stained; they clung to her face and neck in a manner that should not have been anywhere near as alluring as it was. He almost lost his footing, actually stopping to stare in awe, as he bent herself to the earth and tore it open with a roar that shook the spine inside him.

Stupidly, he mind couldn’t help repeating that old line he couldn’t remember the origin of: she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’ll punch you in the face.

Even more stupidly, for some reason he felt as though he wouldn’t mind if she punched him in the face. He shook the feeling off by turning and sliding his kunai through an enemy’s throat. It was pure coincidence that his targets had happened upon a group of fellow Konoha shinobi just before Kakashi caught up to them, darting out of the shadows and in to the fray with nary a word to those already fighting. Sakura and her companions had grown so much since that day he dismissed them all as useless.

After the dust had settled and the only people standing bore the symbol of the Leaf, Sakura turned to him with a smile streaked in blood and eyes so bright he almost shielded his own.

“Thank you for your assistance, ANBU-san,” she called. “You fight pretty good.”

He was forever thankful that his double masks neatly covered the blush rising on his cheeks as he slipped back in to the shadows without a word. The Uchiha, whom he presumed was the fabled Sasuke-kun, watched him go with a single eyebrow raised. He looked a lot like Itachi, although the same could be said of everyone in their clan.

Kakashi made sure to casually mention the encounter to Minato-sensei later when he made his report in the Hokage’s office. He watched his old teacher swell up with pride that his son’s team had made such a good impression on one of his best, asking eagerly what Kakashi thought of them. Before he could stop himself the words seemed almost to fall from his lips like a cart running out of control.

“I think she’s beautiful.”

Minato-sensei laughed until his belly must have hurt. Kakashi smacked his shoulder and left without being dismissed.

“Do you still live for someone else?”

Probably it was a weird question to ask someone when their hands were wrist deep inside your abdomen and their chakra was the only thing stopping you from bleeding out. Kakashi had never been too concerned with social norms, though.

Instead of answering Sakura gave him a desperate wild look as she screamed over her shoulder for someone to signal the Hokage. He knew what that meant. They wouldn’t be able to transport him back in time. Minato-sensei’s teleportation was their only hope of keeping him alive. Maybe that should have bothered him more but when Kakashi was twelve he had seen this girl perform a miracle and if ever there was someone who’s hands he trusted it was her.

“S-Sakura.” His voice was small and wet. How strange. “Sakura do you…still live for someone else?”

For some reason it felt important that she answer. It wasn’t as though her answer would matter, in this life or the next. There was no way for her to know that the shadows watched her sometimes as she laughed at the bar with her friends. There was no way for her to know that the flowers that sometimes showed up on her doorstep came from his hand. There was no way she knew how hard he had fallen for a girl who felt so strongly and yelled so loudly that it shook away the darkness in him until all he knew was the light she gave off so freely.

“Don’t speak, ANBU-san,” she admonished him. Her brow creased in concentration as she forced more chakra in to his belly. Kakashi barely paid attention to the arching of his spine or the way blood bubbled up between his lips.

“You…lived for him. You breathed and broke and fought for him.” Breathing was more difficult than it should have been. “You shouldn’t.” When she looked down at him he prayed she couldn’t see through the holes in his mask or the cracks in his soul. “You are…enough on your own. No one should own who you are.”

He didn’t get to see Minato-sensei arrive. Too soon his vision faded and Kakashi spared a thought for Rin and for Obito, hoping they wouldn’t take this too hard. Better friends he could never have asked for. He owed them so much but he was certain both of them knew what they meant to him. No ghosts came with him when he felt the world fade to black around him.

vi.

“You’re stupid,” were the first words he heard upon regaining consciousness.

“I hear that a lot,” he croaked, “though never in regards to my actual intelligence. What have I done now?”

Only after he spoke did he crack his eyes open, immediately closing them again. His hospital bed – and he was obviously in a hospital bed – was set directly underneath the harsh halogen lights. A quick jerking tug sent his bed skittering to one side with a terrible squealing noise, obviously not the sound of a bed on wheels, and that answered the unspoken question of who had just called him an idiot before he was fully conscious.

“Hello Haruno-san,” he murmured, opening his eyes again now that he was out of the light’s path.

“Don’t you Haruno-san me you stalker creep.”

Despite her words she sounded more amused that anything else. That was the only thing that gave Kakashi the courage to roll his eyes to the side and take her in, knowing that if he moved his head a headache would start up. She looked as good in her medic’s uniform as she always did. Her hair, recently trimmed, was held back with a few cute little pins. On her face she wore an expression he’d seen too often on Rin, a mixture of irritation, exasperation, and fondness. He was more surprised than usual to see the fondness.

“Uhm…”

“If you wanted to ask me out you would have been better served using words instead of waiting around outside the hospital every morning.”

“You…saw that?”

“No but Rin-chan and I chat. Girls do that, you see. She’s been an absolute gold mine of interesting tidbits while you were sleeping.”

“Note to self: murder Rin.”

“Don’t you dare! We made a bet and I’m going to win; I won’t let you make me lose, you hear!”

“A bet?” Doing his best to ignore the way his head immediately began to pound, Kakashi turned to look at her in curiosity. “What kind of bet?”

Sakura waved one hand through the air casually. “Oh just a little thing. If I confront you and get a date then she has to go confront Obito and get a date out of him too.”

Kakashi stared. Swallowed. Shifted in his bed. Stared some more.

There was no porcelain mask to hide the blush this time and it was doubly embarrassing for her to see the line of red that crept overtop the small paper one some nurse had stretched over his mouth. Unless it had been her that put it on him. Had she been a part of his surgery? Had she peeked?

Putting that small panic-inducing thought aside for later, Kakashi had to clear his throat twice before he could string enough words together to respond to his long-time crush.

“Well. I’ve been telling those two to get their heads out of their asses for ages now. Who am I to turn down such an opportunity for them?” He smiled shakily when Sakura snorted.

“For them. Of course.”

“That’s me, the dutiful friend.”

“I hope you make as dutiful a date, Hatake Kakashi.” Sakura’s hand brushed his rather deliberately as she stood and made for the door. “Rumor says you have a habit of being as late for everything as Obito is. If you’re late for our first date I’ll remove your teeth for you.”

She was pink and only soft if you weren’t looking at her muscles – and Kakashi was so in love.

#rae writes #where did all this inspiration come from #i wrote this in like four ish hours #kakasaku #kakashi #sakura #fanfiction #naruto shippuden

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ayahne · 7 years

Text

i can’t write, i say as i write 8 pages on Word

I discussed this simple little idea i had with @adelmortescryche from 2AM to 5AM and now it’s not a little idea. A lot of ideas thrown mostly randomly together on the same fic idea i will never write cause i write baaaad.

I call it : EdRi!!! On Para-Ice

- When Yuuri arrives at Wayne State to major in buisness and become a pro skater, he meets the four people with who he's going to share lodging.

- Ling is his age, he's a Xingian diplomat son that want to keep it low-key, and he's majoring in political science. He's a funny, eccentric kind of guy, and he makes Lan Fan mad.

- Lan Fan is « totally not » his body guard, and she's majoring in chemistry. She's a strange blend of calm and hot-temper. He likes her.

- There's also Phichit, ; he's younger, but so nice and enthusiastic ; he wants to do photography. (he's Thai and doesn't speaks much english, but everyone helps him and stick colored notes cards to everything and he learns quickly).

- And there's Edward Curtis, who is half cyborg, hot tempered, foul mouthed and full of shit and loyalty. He's younger than him, but more advanced than him in his studies. (« He's a genius », explains Lan Fan.) They got on like a house on fire.

- Strangely, even if they're so different from each other, they share the apartment fine. Lan Fan and Ed go run in the mornings, Ling cooks, Yuuri and Phichit go to the ice ring... They fit.

- Ed is a bit hyperactive, and when Lan Fan is too occupied to spar with him, he gotta finds something to do. (« No Ed, you can't punch people in the face. ») He visits Yuuri and Phichit at the ice ring, and he tries a bit of skating ; it's challenging, he likes it.

- Yuuri starts to teach him simple figures : a single-toe-loop, a sit-spin... Ed spend his time falling on his face because the automails are destabilizing him, but he's tired and happy when he masters a new move. From there, you can't stop him. Skating becomes the escape to his problems, and the guilt he feels.

- He comes to every of Yuuri's event to cheer him on ; he manage the panic attacks like it's nobody's buisness, and Yuuri starts to feel more confident. It's great time, they have fun.

- But one day, there's an accident ; the huge score board fall on Yuuri that just finished his routine. They have to amputate his arm.

- Ed has lived this before, and acts quick. He's there through everything, the hospital ride, the hospital stay, the therapy. With the others, he persuades Yuuri to get an automail (« Hey, we match now. ») He never let him wallow in his depression, and he puts him back on his skates with his therapist acceptance.

- They fight, with all the others, through Yuuri's terror of the ice, and slowly, slowly, he finds back his love for the ice ; he starts to skate again, to being confident. Ed does it all with him, he's his crutch. (« I miss two limbs. If i can do it, you can do it better. » And Yuuri does.)

(beware of the cut)

- "dude you can fucking make a quint and fly on the ice " says Yuuri "dont care still jealous" answer Ed, and they laugh and Phichit posts it on instagram

- Yuuri's like, welp, if you can do it, I should at least try and everyone screams NO because he's older than Ed. Except Ed, who's rolling his eyes being like, he could totally do it, he's older than me and just as flexible.

- They're both ULTRA flexible

- Cue Ed teaching Yuuri how to make some of his fighting moves on ice

- Cue Yuuri teaching Ed more quads

- All those EdRi comments. The first few are just fujoshi slobbering over them and their bromance, then someone who actually knows something about skating figures out what they're seeing and they sCREAM.

- And the skating fandom has a meltdown.

- Phichit posting out of context photos, like warming up when they're in weird yoga poses, and it seems a bit more intimate than it is.

- With tags like '#MySmolSonsBeFlexi' '#MustNotLetEdSeeTagsHeWillSlayMe'

- Phichit and all the others being DEADLY TIRED than his frighteningly prodigious friends not getting recognition just because they've got automail.

- Doesn't people realise that automail makes it harder ?

- “It's easier with automail ?” * Ed proceeds to detach his own arm and dump it on the stupid fuck's lap who crumble under the weight. * “Try lifting something that weight more than yourself higher than your head, and even spin with something ressembling grace when you have a brick instead of an arm”.

- Pole dancing class as part of the automail recovery therapy. Yuuri smiles, and he's like, this was totally for medical reasons.

- The ports gets cold and hurt when they're too long in the ice ring, so for when they train Phichit knitted them horrible arm socks (and leg sock for Ed). Knitting is not Phichit forte, and the mitts are ridiculous at best.

- Yuuri's favorite is a kaki monstruosity with purple polka dots, orange stripes, and some brown squiggles that are supposed to be flowers.

- Ed's are one atomic pink with red hearts on it, and a blue one with barely recognisable hamsters.

- The photos of them with it become viral.

- He decides to go back to competing, and he slays the handisport section. He wins all of the gold medals in the juniors, and then in the seniors.

- He's got a new coach ; she's pretty, kind and maternal, attentive to his anxieties and the fact that Ed is basically is contra-phobic object ; she's perfect, and exactly what he needs. Her name is Gracia Hugues.

- For his galas, he always do something with Ed (and either they do funny shit things, either they some mind-numbing show of skills mixing Ed's talents in flying martial arts and Yuuri's adaptability- anyways they're breathtaking)

- There's a fanbase dedied to their bromance, and some people do RPF with them.

- Ed browsing deviantart and diying a little bit (but save the nice, bro, safe ones on his phone.)

- Yuuri reading fanfictions, selecting the crack fics and the AUs to laugh with Ed, Phichit and Lin. (and Lan Fan. She's there, silently laughing)

- They're so much more low key about the bromance than Phichit and Yuuri that people have a lot more opinions about their bromance. And are sure it's a romance.

- Yuuri obviously finds it hilarious.

- Ed and Yuuri doing shit like this on purpose.

- One day on tv, some jackass ask if he doesn't miss his limbs, and Ed answers "thats equivalent exchange" while looking at Yuuri. The shippers goes mad, Yuuri goes awww cause he knows Ed meant it very innocently

- They only pop up in Phichit, Ling, and Yuri social medias because they dont take vids themselves or photos and even less post them

- One day, there's an hORRIBLE rant made by a dude that says that Ed and Yuuri are lucky to have found the other because who would want any of those disgusting cripples

- and they're a bit hurt but not much because they told themselves the same thing since they got their accidents

- But Phichit sees red. He takes THE photo.

- the one after the showers after practice, where you can see skin, soft scars, glinting metal, muscles and cloth making it SFW, and no comment under it like he use to.

- It broke twitter

- (Yuri totally roasted the guy that DARED insult his idol.)

- Roy Mustang is an ex-man-single prodigy. He was adored by the public. When he retired, he decided he wanted to go into Amestrian politics (ie, the Army).

- He's the one that presented his old buddy from the army, Maes, to Gracia. (people all around the world whined when they announced that it was Maes marrying Gracia and not him.)

- Roy isn't sure if he's happy for both his friends because Maes became 1000% more annoying after meeting Gracia. (That's a lie, he loves them both and is more than happy.)

- When he became a state alchemist, his fans where like “fire alchemy ??? U SURE ?”

- Yuri Plisetesky is a die-hard Yuuri Katsuki fan, and he finds it unfair that

1. no same sex couple on the ice, and it sucks because those two could do some pretty awesome shit

2. Ed doesn't compete because not enough money and he don't care much for the competition ; he's there for the fun and for Yuuri

3. he'd love to skate on the same ice as Yuuri but, eh, handi sections and mainstream ones doesn't mix. He hates the federation so much.

4. no one knows about the handi athletes apart of Yuri and Otabek (because he whines at him) and he finds it the most irritating thing in the world, it's a TRAVESTY.

- And just, one day, he goes to Yuuri's ice ring, and he watches him, film him for future reference and manage to catch on film a *quad axel*.

- And the regular skaters, they're like "wait what" when they see the video of the first quad axel in history

- "but we don't know that guy"

- and Yuri goes in a screaming rant about how they're all stupid, it's “FUCKING YUURI KATSUKI YOU HEATHENS HOW DARE YOU FORGET HIM HE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST RIVAL FOR GOLD IF NOT FOR THAT ACCIDENT HE HAD TO LEAVE MAINSTREAM SKATING AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIM?!”

- And one day, Viktor, dense fridge that he is, find irl EdRi doing some figures in a public ice ring. He goes to Yuuri, says something like you skate nice, have you considered going pro, and ed punches him because the dunce doesn’t remember sharing the ice with Yuuri

- "I was too fucking kind i should have decked him with the metal one"

- Yuuri is nrgh between "he punched Viktor" and "am i that forgettable"

- Yuuri's also like Ed No Ed Stahp. While smiling happily because spiteful savage Yuuri. Who doesn't want Victor to get hurt, but he forgot.

- "We said no punching, Ed"

- ”Ed we talked about this.”

- ZE discussion they have all the time ; "Can i punch that dick in the dick" "No u cant"

- And he can only punch people if Yuuri is okay with it because everyone deem that if Yuuri thinks a dude deserve to be punched then he deserves it.

- If Yuuri thinks it's time to punch someone then it's time. Yuuri's everyone's moral compass. Except he isn't a good moral compass, because sometimes he's sassy and spiteful.

- Yuuri with really long hair after he stopped mainstream mens singles.

- First he was too depressed to cut it, then he realized it's easier for the automail. The hair gets stuck less in the joints and if they're long you can take them out easier.

- Al and Ed have been apart since they were 8 and 10 and they had the failed transmutation that left Al in a coma for 3 years with nearly no memories of his brother, and Ed without limbs.

- They went to different foster families ; Ed with Izumi and Sig, Al with the Rockbell. And Al doesn't remember Ed much, only what Pinako told him (he loved you more than anything, he was persuaded the accident is his fault)

- Olivia Armstrong is Ed social worker. The whole Briggs team work in social services.

- Ed refusing to search for his bro cause he's sure Al hates him, and, sure, Ed hates himself but not to the point of subjecting himself to that.

- Yuuri comforting him when he has nightmares about it, not saying a thing when Ed cries at night cause he misses Al.

- Phichit stalking the whole internet to update Ed on how Al is doing.

- Al being so admirative of E.Curtis works in "Alchemy Actual". Pinako wince in the background.

- Al finds it hard to connect E. Curtis to his brother because E. Curtis is notoriously secretive. No one knows anything about him.

- Al doesn't watch ice-skating, and isn't much a fan of phichit-chu. And no matter how many times he falls on a video of Edward C. he can't connect either of them to his brother. Pinako's starting to wonder if he's ever going to realise Ed-on-screen and Ed-the-alchemist is Ed his brother. She shighs in exasperation and wonder why he's so dense.

- May being Ling's pint sized badass little sister (one of many but his favorite even if loves giving her shit)

- May is irritating and wonderful and god he wishes he could introduce her to Al.

- May find Al by herself and is like “... most beautiful boy i've ever seen in my entire life omg”

- She posts photo of her and him on insta, and Phichit send them to Ed, he becomes crazy.

- Al being in a perpetual state of “Wait what” concerning her.

- “Beautiful girl came out of no where to talk to me and flirt with me and take pictures with me what'

- She starts talking alkahestry and suddenly he doesn't register her pretty face anymore she's clever who cares about pretty I can talk about alchemy with her !!!

- May finds him adorable

- Cue budding romance while their big brothers are having aneurisms on the side. Yuuri, Phichit and Lan Fan finds it hilarious.

- And at LEAST Ling can interact with his sister and NOW AL but ED REFUSES and he is sad and frustrated so he goes skating cause he has too much energy and "you can't punch people for the lolz Ed"

- Yuuri just sighs and pats him on the back while Ed screams at the sky and goes throwing quads all over the place.

- So frustrated he tries a quint toe loop, but "not a quad axel, i'm stupid but not dumb, only quadsuki can do that"

- Ed having super nice automail that Yuuri offered him with the skating money ("look, we match !", he says, a twinkle in his eyes, echoeing what Ed told him a few years ago.)

- Since Ed doesn't want to see the Rockbell and has a « 0 interaction » policy, Yuuri found that guy that lives in a remote part of Australia that does incredible machinery. They go once a year with the gang.

- Ed considering himself « toxic » to those he loves. Lan Fan decked him in the gut, Ling rolled his eyes so hard it had to be inscribed in a book of records, and Phichit insulted him in Thai. He tried this bullshit with Yuuri exactly once and never did it again.

- Mari straight up hit him with a pan. She reminds Ed of Izumi.("My foster mom hits me with her pan, too.")

- Following that sentence, people start to be suspicious about his foster mom, until they figure out Izumi and Ed love each other. Their love is just... violently displayed. And filled with martial art montages.

- Izumi and Sig already have a biological son when they adopt Ed. Aoi is totaly enamored with his « big brother »

- They adopted another child, a little girl named Nina. Her dad tried to kill her, and as of such she's sick. Her and Al are the reason he started studying organic alchemy in more depth.

- Envy is Ed biological punk rock but so nice older half-brother. He's androgynous and loves confusing people. ("Are you a girl or a boy ?" "no.")

- Envy avoids Al cause he feels guilty too. He felt he shoud have been there for his two lil bro, no matter how angry with their dad he was.

- When Ed and Envy gloom together, Lin/Phichit/Yuuri/Lan Fan comes to hit them and like "no we love you yes we said love shut up, up, we going petting rabbits"

- Hiroko, Izumi and Minako being BFFs and drinking together. It terrifies everyone. They comiserate about their spawns.

- Izumi's kid is in awe of Mari (as he should)

- EdxAngst + Yuuri/coming-to-terms-with-his-anxiety

- "Where did your... special style of skating came from, Mister Curtis ? *behind, a video extract where Ed is doing a double backflip on the ice, before launching into some capoara moves while Yuuri smiles and just cartwheels for the lolz*"

- Roy calling Ed “a backflipping maniac”

- Cuts to Ed doing a triple back flip and a single hand cartwheel or something right after. Just to see the expression on Roy's face.

- Roy having ten cardiac arrest a day. Riza laugh in the distance. (She laughs at his pain all the time)

- "Curtis, when your in an ice ring you spend more time in the air than on the ice, it's not natural"

- One of Phichit most liked photos is one of Yuuri and Ed twirling Elicia around

- Even if Ed isn't an official competitor, he has die hard fans, that calls themselves « Ed's Homunculi », and they're led by 5 people that nicknamed themselves with the primary sins.

- Yuuri snickers at just their mention. Ed complains all the time. (« NO FUCK LET ME GO IM NOT EVEN A PRO DONT PuT YOUR BOOBS IN MY FACE DONT EAT MY HAIR WTF. Why are you all so DISTURBING »)

- Envy founded the fanclub because he finds this deadly funny, now he’s mostly in charge of the social medias. Ed is horrified.

- Scar is married to Lust and follows her everywhere, to every competition sighing all the time.

- THE PRESIDENT OF HIS FANCLUB IS THE FUCKING FURHER OF AMESTRIS

- The idea of Amestris’s Furher being enamored enough with Ed's skating to give himself a stupid nickname kills all of his friends of laughter inside

- Aerugo is near greece

- Xing is in east asia

- Creta is near italia

- Drachma is between finland and sweden

- Amestris between germany and poland, and Ishval between poland and Austria

- Father couldn't arrange another full country array, and eventually decided to let it go.

- Envy's real name is Nichola Elric

- Lust is Veda Campos

- Wrath is King Bradley

- Pride is still Selim Bradley

- Gluttony is named Emilio Abatucci

- Scar is Luca Campos

- Izumi’s kid is named Aoi Curtis

#yoi #fma #edward elric #yuuri katsuki #headcanon #crossover fic #fic #fanfic #sort of ????#my writing #even if i'm not good at english BUT WATHEV'

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