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testingthewatersss · 4 months

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James Trigger warnings for PTSD, mentions of war, torture, etc. Just unapologetic cuddling and comfort. Bucky Barnes x F Reader Oneshot 1960 words fluff, angst, comfort. 18+ MDNI

What's in a name?

She doesn’t notice when he falls asleep.

Not until he jolts, startling himself awake in her arms, empty mug rolling from his lap, hitting the floor with a dull thud.

“Hey” she whispers, not wanting to spook him further, “Hey, handsome…”

Instantly he pivots, turning to look at her with a muddled expression that makes her smile.

“You must be exhausted” she notes, “You don’t normally just pass out on me”

“Sorry?” he swallows, “Sorry, Doll, I-”

“Don’t be sorry, Bucky” she purrs, “You’re tired… I told you to try and get some rest”

“I didn’t try” he admits quietly, “I just… god…You just make me feel so safe, Y/N/N… I couldn’t help it.”

At first she thinks it sounds like he’s embarrassed. Especially when she sees the flush of red crawling up his neck to fill his cheeks. But then, she meets his eyes again, and realises that it’s vulnerability that she’s hearing instead of shame.

“You make me feel safe too” she tells him softly, wanting to encourage him to open up, “C’mere, love… forget the cup, we’ll get it later”

Bucky smiles, bashful but overwhelmingly happy as he turns fully, accepting her invitation and curling up into her arms completely.

His nose is tucked into her throat, and her heart is beating slow and steady beneath his head.

Even though every joint in his body is throbbing with tension he thinks that this is bliss.

“Can I ask you something”

Her voice is like music.

He’s saying ‘Yes’ before she’s even finished her question.

“Why do people call you Bucky?” she wonders, “I know it’s from your middle name” she adds, “but James is hardly a mouthful”

He’s never heard her say his name before.

His proper name, at least.

In all fairness, she rarely even calls him Bucky, favouring shorter, more affectionate nick-names instead.

“I don’t remember exactly” he says when he realises that he hasn’t answered her yet, “but, I know my dad came out with it first, and then it kinda just stuck… I think my ma fought it for awhile, but he won in the end, and I… I only got James when I was in trouble…”

“Well” Y/N sighs, curiosity satisfied, “I’ll steer clear of it then— Wouldn’t want you thinkin’ you’d done anythin’ wrong.”

He’s gawking at her again. He can feel himself just drowning in her eyes, in the soft, velvet lilt in her voice.

He thinks, James had sounded like a prayer, when she’d said it a few moments before. Like something precious, or maybe…maybe it was more like a secret… He’s not sure exactly, but he’s suddenly overcome with the need to hear her say it again;

“Will you say it again, doll?”

Now she’s confused. There’s a crease between her brows it takes a moment for it to soften, for her to offer him a sweet, understanding smile.

“James?” she tests, making sure she’s come to the right conclusion.

He nods, totally entranced.

“James” she repeats, more certain than before, “I think it’s nice” she coos, reaching over to stroke his cheek, “it suits you…”

Does it?

He remembers echoes of conversations between his parents. Playful and bickering as his mother tried to scold his father for replacing their sons name without her consent.

He remembers her calling him James when he was sick, once, as a small child. The ghost of a gentle palm against his brow as he sobbed, feverish, and worried for Steve-

“He’s fine, James… You got the worst of it this time, I promise — You can see him soon…”

Then, he thinks, he remembers the way it sounded when it was yelled.

Summoning him because he’d trailed mud inside with his boots, or been caught skipping school, or…

Or because Sargent James Buchanon Barnes was the name on his papers.

He’d corrected the Americans as soon as he could.

A polite ‘Bucky, sir’ being all it took for them to dismiss his formal name.

He hadn’t dare correct the others.

James, James, James—

“I should’t have asked.” Y/N says calmly, seeing how he suddenly looks very, very scared, “I’m sorry- I was just bein’ nosey”

His head shakes. Her voice overwhelming him for a moment.

James.

It’s her he can hear now, and he knows, just like that, that he’d never correct her either. He focuses on that, on how safe she makes him feel.

“..It… it’s just been a long time since… since anyones called me that without it makin’ me feel sick” he explains weakly, battling embarrassment as it claws at it his, “Some… some of the HYDRA officers they’d…” he gulps, “They’d try to get a reaction out of me, and I… I never knew what to do to make them happy…”

“Bucky” she whispers, brushing his jaw with her thumb

“They didn’t know about that” he says, aiming for jovial, “Nicknames must not’ve made my file.”

His smile falters, the one side of his lip that he’d managed to quirk falling back considerately as he builds up the courage to keep talking;

“They’d tell me I sounded American” he remembers, “They’d make me tell them where I was from… and they’d… they’d ask me what my name was, and I— I didn’t know what to do, I- I tried… I’d say that I didn’t have one— they, they liked that best, but if that didn’t work I’d just say I didn’t remember… but sometimes they’d act like they… like they cared, y’know? like they… like they wanted to me remember and then they’d just…”

Slap me, he thinks, fighting the urge to flinch, Slap me, spit on me, make me open my mouth—

He shivers, looking at her, desperately searching for a distraction. For a way to make the memory stop

“You’re home now” she promises, fingers slipping up to trace the soft curve of his lip as she wonders why he’s kept them parted, “And I’ll call you whatever you want…”

He pecks a kiss against her knuckles, forcing himself back to the present.

Now that he feels almost certain that this is real, that Y/N really is staying with him, no matter what he tells her, it’s almost too easy to slip into the parts of his past that he’s been managing to repress.

He considers the times when people would tell him that that type of openness was going to be key to his recovery.

They’d tell him that you can’t heal from things you won’t let yourself feel, and he remembers thinking that feeling them was bad enough the first time around. He figured back then that if his brain could shield him from even some of the horrors he’d endured then maybe that was the type of mercy he deserved.

Now though, feeling the raw sting of trauma slipping out from one of the more superficial wounds he’d sustained during his near century of imprisonment, he’s surprised at how comforting it is to be accepted while it hurts.

The vulnerability is a small price to pay, he decides, maybe this is healing.

“They hurt me” he hears himself confess, voice a whisper, “Y/N/N, they… they really hurt me.”

“I know” she agrees quickly, totally taken off guard by this seemingly random display of trust, “I know they did.”

Bucky just blinks, adjusting to the fact that he’s said that in the first place.

Why did I say that? he thinks, I’ve never said that out-loud before.

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Y/N asks him calmly, hand slipping down to the nape of his neck, “You don’t have to think about pain, baby… Not like you did before, anyway. No wonder you don’t like sleepin’ on your own”

He’s still just starring at her. Wide eyed and trusting.

“You don’t have to worry about that anymore either” she smiles, feeling his arms flexing against her waist, “Since I’m here to keep you company, huh? and you can decide what you want me to call you… I know I’m prone to ‘sweetheart’, but I’m open to alternatives.”

“God” he gulps, still overwhelmed with the sheer acceptance she’s drowning him in, “God, Y/N/N… You, you can call me whatever you want just, just please don’t leave me.”

Please don’t leave me.

He’s never said that like this, before either.

Sure, he might have sobbed out the same sentence, desperate and terrified- He might’ve even whispered it in Russian against her chest as she slept, an unheard plea, but, he’s never said it so calmly.

Y/N has no idea what has caused him to speak so bluntly. She decides fairly quickly that it doesn’t matter.

“I’m not going to leave you” she swears, looking him in the eyes, “I love you, I’m right here.”

“James” he exhales, “I like it when you call me James… Nobody… Nobodies called me that in so long— not, not without it causin’ me problems…”

“Alright…” she murmurs, “…James, I love you very, very much, and I am staying right here…”

His chest aches. It feels like his heart is about to burst behind his ribs.

“Jesus christ-” he whispers, “— Y/N/N, I… I can’t even tell you how much I love you… You’re an angel…”

She beams at him, eyes rolling affectionately.

“You’re a sap” she tells him, “But you’re my sap, huh?”

And then, just like that he’s crying.

His eyes are stinging, tears burning his nose as they spill down across his face in uneven rivets.

Y/N tucks him closer in towards her chest as he starts to choke back sobs;

It’s heart-breaking. Really, truly, heart-breaking, but, it’s hardly unexpected.

“..C’mere…” she whispers, instinct guiding her hands to his back, so she can start to soothe his straining ribs, “…You’re okay…. You’re safe now, I promise…”

Both of his hands, metal and flesh are clutching her waist, betraying how desperately he needs her assurances. He’s way too busy bawling to try and formulate any kind of coherent response, so he doesn’t even try. He just clings to the woman he loves and retreats inwards as his body continues to weep.

He doesn’t know why he’s suddenly so far gone. He’s not even certain that he’s upset…

When he tries to think about that, it only gets more muddy, because he… he doesn’t think this is anything he’s felt before.

It’s not isolated terror, or despair, or agony— but, it’s not a happy feeling either. This isn’t the kind of relief fulled weeping that he was wracked with on the first night he was brought to a room and it dawned on him that he really was free— that it was over— It’s some strange mixture that he can’t put a name too, all he knows is that it’s too much to process. His chest hurts, so do his eyes, and he can’t stop crying now that he's started,

“Shhhhhh”

Y/N’s gentle exhaling washes over him like a wave. Gentle and soothing as her fingers card through his hair;

“…Everything’s okay now…” she promises, “…You’re alright…”

He keens back into her touch before turning, letting his cheek rest against her chest. It’s different to how he was positioned before, with he was entirely hidden within the crook of her neck, and now he can’t help but whimper as the cool room air laps at his flushed, wet, face.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Y/N sighs, hating the fractured sound he’s just made, “You’re okay… You’re safe… It’s all okay…”

Her thumb is on his cheek. She’s drying his tears while she tells him over and over again that he’s home, that he’s not in danger, that she loves him, and that it’s all going to be alright—

and Bucky thinks in a startling break from hysteria, that this, this feeling is mercy.

Masterlist

#bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky fanfic #the winter soldier x you #Oneshot #fluff #x reader #drabble #bucky barnes oneshot

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crazyk-imagine · 10 months

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Wade Wants to Reminisce

Pairing: James “Bucky” Buchanon Barnes x Plus size!Super!reader, Wade “Deadpool” Wilson x Super!reader (platonic) Characters: Plus size!Super!reader, Wade “Deadpool” Wilson, James “Bucky” Buchanon Barnes, Natasha Romanoff, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark Warnings: Wade things, the avengers coming to save the reader, Bucky and the reader share a past, Nat and Wade are trying to get their friends laid, this is totally not inspired by a bunch of Bucky and Soldier Boy fics I read all weekend (don’t judge me), the deadpool gif is literally the reader and wade, this 100% does not make sense, I was bored and wanted some deadpool content, I also may have gone down a Bucky rabbit hole and here we are Word Count: 971

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He wouldn't tell you anything about his plans [I didn't want my plans to get ruined]

He'd make sure nothing bad would happen to you (nothing too major at least) [I wouldn't let them murder you or charge you with a B and E, chill]

Reenactment flashback

You were fine until he set off an alarm [I didn't do that. It was Fabio. *Wade points to the intern*

The poor guy starts shaking-

The real reenactment

"Wade," you pinch the bridge of your nose. "Did we break into a building we shouldn't have?"

"Yo soy no hablo Español."

"You're hablo-ing Español right now!"

"Fine! You caught me. I'm trying to help you suppress your kitty urges."

"Wade!"

"What?" He shrugs, eating a chimichango. "You kept whining to me how lonely you are and I know there's a lot of- ow, hot." He licks his fingers before trying to hold his chimichanga. "What was I saying? Oh right, there's a lot of fine men here for you to pounce on."

"I'm going to kill you."

"You know you can't. I'm just doing my friendly duty."

"You're a problem for society."

"That hurts." He places his hand over his heart.

"I hope it fucking does you crackwhore."

"Woah," he raises his hands. "There's no need to bring Blind AL into this."

"We both know it's you I'm talking about."

"Uh- hey," Tony waves his hands. "I don't mean to interrupt whatever the hell this is but you two just broke into the Avenger headquarters so we're gonna need to detain you for a couple of hours."

"Detain him." You point to Wade before raising your hands up in defense. "I had nothing to do with this."

"You bitch," he replies, extending the words.

"Slut."

"Whore."

"Old avocado."

"Dick sucker."

"At least my partner is satisfied."

He gasps, placing a hand over his chest. "What'd she tell you?"

"Nothing I didn't already know."

"Doll?"

You spin around with furrowed brows and then your jaw drops. "James?"

"Wait- you two know each other?!" Tony and Steve shout.

"She's your coffee date?" Natasha asks him with her hands on her hips.

"You've been getting laid and I didn't know?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose again. "I'm going to kill you. I swear on all that is holy Wade. I'm going to grab that hammer and smash you with it."

"That's not the kind of hammering I planned on doing today."

You purse your lips and pounce.

James stepped closer to you just in time. "Hey, hey. Calm down."

"Not until he's mush."

"Doll."

"But-"

"No."

"Bucky," you whine. "Just a little?"

"Not a chance."

"Would you two mind explaining how you met?" Natasha asks.

"Coffee shop."

Sam walks into the room, taking a second to see what's going on and then he sees you. "Oh, hey."

You turn and smile at him. "Sammy."

"Why does he get such a nice greeting?" Wade whines.

"He's not you."

"I take major offense to that."

"You should."

"Rude."

"I'm still stuck on the fact that Tinman went to a coffee shop and got a date. He doesn't even like coffee," Tony complains.

"I like a certain type of coffee."

"From a cute girl?"

"No."

"Yes. Man, you thought she was cute and bought her coffee," Sam rats James out.

You spin around in his arms. "You did?"

Usually he likes to think of himself as someone who doesn't get embarrassed but right now, he's plotting ways to get back at Sam. He doesn't look up at you. "Uh- I- I did."

"Well aren't you sweet," you smile up at him.

"I need to call Vanessa."

The smile is wiped from your face. "Go home, Wade!"

"But then I wouldn't get some memories I can play on repeat with my unicorn or Vanessa later."

"For fucks sake- Wade, get back here."

James lifts you over his shoulder and walks towards his room, locking the door behind him. "This makes things a lot easier." He sets you down.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I planned on calling you and asking if you wanted to go out."

"If I say yes," you trace shapes on his chest, before staring at him through your lashes. "Can we stay here for the rest of the day?"

"If I say yes, will you stop using those eyes on me? You're killing me, doll. You know I'd say yes without that look."

You smile up at him and practically bounce as you walk away and aim for his bed.

A voice can be heard through the airvents. "So, does this mean you'd rather get ducked down than hangout with me?"

"100%"

"Cool. Just checking. Text me the details. I want to know how big."

"Wade!"

"I'm curious to see if he's a queen or a king."

"Liar."

"You've caught me but I already know."

"Go home."

"Bye kids. Use protection, unless you're into that." [And you all know what I'm talking about. Don't act like your Tumblr isn't full of those fics. Yes, I know about them too. Who do you think will write some about me?]

Wade closes the laptop he stole (from you) and sighs. “This was nice.”

You throw your boyfriend's alarm clock at him.

“Ow!”

“Go home, Wade. We’re trying to sleep.”

“Doll, what’s tumblr?”

“Wade you’re dead!”

Wade’s screaming alerts the rest of the compound.

“Why is your friend screaming?” Steve asks you.

“He taught James something he shouldn’t have, and he knows it. GET BACK HERE, WILSON!”

“Never!”

“I hope you’re proud,” Natasha pats James’ back.

“Why are you saying it like that?”

“Your girlfriend brought home a parasite.”

“It could be worse.”

“It could be worse!?” Sam screeches.

“It could be so much worse, Sammy.”

“That’s my nickname for him. You don’t get to steal it.”

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bolontiku · 2 years

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"A Lifetime"

Avengers AU - Oneshot

Characters: Bucky, Reader, Steve, Tony(briefly)

Posted: July 30th

A/N: i was on the verge of sleep and this happened, suffering with me means you love me. I do want to apologize in advance.

WARNINGS: FEELINGS, mention of death, implied death?

Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.

"There you are."

Bucky but back a groan as you brushed your fingertips along his jaw. "Wha-?"

You pouted at him, your lip was cut and there were a few bruises scattered across your features, "what happened?" He hummed and closed his eyes. "It was a rough mission, buuut" you sang the word softly, "I got you out in time. Saved your pretty little butt."

He smiled, "you like my butt."

"It's a very nice butt, on par with the Captains."

"You admitting to staring at Steve's ass while I am laid up in medical doll?" He asked with a half hearted chuckle. God damn everything hurt, the mission was absolute dog shit. Everything was wrong, anything that could happen DID and in the end- he jerked his eyes open and stared at you, his vision swam, his head ached but… "explosion?" He asked dead serious.

You nodded, smiling softly at him, "got some shrapnel in ya but you'll recover."

Ah, that explained the pain in his side, he closed his eyes and concentrated on the sound of your voice, relaxing his muscles and breathing slowly. Your hand was small in his, he toyed with the ring there and the pain lessened. Opening his eyes he waited, content to watch your face as you struggled to word whatever was running a million miles a second in that head of yours.

Finally you spoke, "you remember that conversation we had last week?" You asked quietly.

He frowned, it was hard to hear your voice but he chalked it up to the explosion and figured his hearing was hinky due to it and nodded, "why bring that up?" It had begun as a conversation and ended in an argument.

Who would go first? Who could live if the other didn't? It had ruined the day, all his plans, in the end he had crawled into bed next to you and curled around you. His plans had been ruined, but it wouldn't stop him from slipping the damned ring on your finger. You had cried into his soft cotton tee, "Doll-"

"I just- I couldn't live without you and I am so sorry, sorry for making such a big deal out of it and ruining everything-" your voice became smaller if possible and he hated it. Hated that you were still upset about it. The two of you had a lifetime left to argue about it and a million other things. And he looked forward to it.

"But you said yes and that is all that matters," he squeezed your hand. Your eyes shone as you stared at him from beside the bed. "Is it because of what happened today?" He asked quietly, you nodded, "Sweetheart, you don't have to worry, just a bit of shrapnel, be good as new before the wedding."

You stared at him, eyes traveling over his face slowly, studying him, fingers toying with a bit of long hair. "I love you James Buchanon Barnes. I love you so much I don't know how to breathe without you and… and I am so sorry."

He knew it must be the drugs that were pumping into him, but the raw intensity of your confession made his eyes prick with the sting of tears. "I love you back Y/N and I can't wait to give you a last name to match mine forever."

It looked as if you flinched, but he blinked and there was that smile that had taken his breath away the first time you had been introduced to the team not two years ago. It had taken him a year to get the courage to ask you out and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life waking up next to you and that smile.

"You're gonna hafta let me go."

Bucky felt his heart drop but he quickly recovered with a soft chuckle, carefully unwinding his fingers from yours, "thirsty?" He asked. He had no idea how long he had been out for and you had probably refused to move from his bedside till he woke. You still wore your uniform from that mission, dirty, bloody, and tattered, he could smell the smoke from the explosion.

"-Bucky" your voice whispered in his head. He heard the explosion, felt the heat, heard you screaming his name and then nothing.

He caught your wrist as you stood. Terrified of the flashback. No. You were here, you were safe and whole, he could feel you. You stared at him patiently and he carefully let you go. "Come back quick?" He asked, sounding like a child but the unease in his gut made him not care.

"Sure thing doll," you quipped, you had always done it. Making fun of him until he wrapped you in his arms and forced you to kiss him until he deemed it enough for you being mean to him.

It was never enough.

"Y/N?"

You paused at the door.

He bit his lip, the drugs were making him loopy, for a moment it looked as if you weren't there. "Drugs are strong…" he murmured.

"I bet," you hummed.

There was quiet talking, a male voice and… "Stevie?"

"Mmm, be quick?" He asked settling into the bed, if you answered he didn't hear it, succumbing to the drip and slipping back into the darkness.

"Bucky!" Steve nodded as the doctor excused himself and he hurried to his friend's side.

The relief in Steve's voice was obvious and he smiled. "Y/N back yet?"

Steve paused by the bed, an ice cold shiver running down his spine, "what?"

"Y/N, she uh… she was just here? I think she was thirsty…" his head still hurt. Damned drugs would knock him out but leave the headache untouched?

There was a soft knock at the door and Bucky forced his eyes open and frowned as he spotted Tony, "sorry.." he apologized, he had thought it might be you, but then again he was too exhausted and in pain to explain himself so Stark could take a one worded apology till he felt better.

"Rest up Buck… I'll uh, I'll look.." Steve squeezed his arm quickly.

Tony waited in the doorway and followed Steve out of the room leaving Bucky to rest. "Hey, what's with the face? What did he say?" Tony asked, he was tired, there had been things to take care of and he had been out for heads.

Steve glanced at him, "I don't think he knows-"

Tony froze, "Steve…"

"He doesn't remember," Steve leaned against the wall to keep from dropping to the floor, "he said she was just in the room…"

"Steve, she's downstairs," Tony stopped and took a breath as Steve let out a choked sob.

How were they going to tell him? Just when Bucky had proposed…

#a lifetime #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #avengers au #oneshot #im sorry

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smertzimy · 3 months

Note

"James Buchanon Barnes! You let me down this instant."

"First of all..... It's Buchanan." Bucky pointed out as he was walking, carrying Natash more or less over his shoulder. "Second of all.... Lalalalaalalala i can't hear you."

#shieldagentnatasharomanoff #v; stars and stripes

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fatedmus3s · 1 year

Text

Your Name is James

Summary: Natalia is questioning her own thoughts and it's a constant struggle. What is real, what isn't? Is it worth it? Should James really keep pushing her? With a simple name, the answer to the questions is clear- it will be worth it in the end.

Word Count: 3,633

Natalia was cutting Winter’s hair. She laughed about something he had said but couldn’t remember it. The young redhead simply laughed and grinned joyously. The rest of the long hair fell to the ground, and the Winter Soldier stood up. No, it wasn’t him - it was James Buchanon Barnes. The guy from the picture, which she had seen in another life. He wore his American uniform and that ridiculous hair.

He smiled gently down at her like he wanted to say something but couldn’t. His gaze was so soft it made Natalia look down in shame over what she had done. Blood trickled down from her hands. Both were covered in so much blood it looked like she had washed them in it. Suddenly she felt his hand on her cheek - almost like he wanted to caress her temples.

“It’s okay, you can do this, dollface,” he whispered and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes and breathed out, “James… Help me.”

Only a second later, she opened them again, but the man and the room were gone. Instead, she was standing in the middle of the opera hall from her memory. She was panting but still holding the scissors from cutting James’s hair. She looked around, and just as she turned her head to the left, she felt a metal hand colliding with her nose. It made an unpleasant sound, and she fell back on her butt.

<“Obedience, Romanova!”> the cold voice snarled at her and continued as he kicked against her chest and placed his food down on her throat, so breathing became incredibly hard for her, <“Sentiments make you weak, Black Widow! Only the mission and its success count!”> He kicked her stomach hard, and Natalia closed her eyes as she curled up into a ball to protect her beaten body.

Suddenly, she felt the soft touch on her hand. It was almost like the man wanted to help her back to her feet. She looked up and into the blue orbs, which belonged to the American soldier from the picture. Again all this guilt rushed over her, and she whimpered silently in her sleep.

“It’s okay, dollface,” the man repeated and continued, “It gets better. Trust me. I’m always here with you.”

His voice made her battered body relax, and she instinctively reached for his hand. It was like she was holding onto dear life. She didn’t want to, but she closed her eyes on the American man.

This time she opened her eyes and was in the middle of an area with chairs and people sitting on them. Americans. In the middle of the row in front of her sat her target. Ridiculous old American uniform, watching some sort of ballet performance. Perhaps the redheaded girl next to him had forced him to go, but it was none of the Black Widow’s concern. She walked silently up to the man and his military hat like a predator finally getting to kill its food.

The Widow opened the scissors, which she still was carrying, and slid through the man’s throat like butter. The girl next to him was screaming and crouching down next to him. Desperately trying to hold onto the wound, but blood splashed out. She looked so oddly familiar with her red hair and green eyes. Suddenly she realized it was her. The poor girl needed to be killed for her to become efficient like no one else from the Red Room ever had. So she rammed the scissors into the girl’s throat.

Suddenly the rest of the people were gone, and only Winter - her Winter - was dead on the ground. His beautiful long hair was covered in the blood she had caused. He was lifeless and defeated. She screamed loudly over what she had done.

The scream also elicited from her throat and caused Romanova to wake up. She sat up panting, looking around the room panicky. She clutched her heart, it was beating like crazy underneath her hand. The young woman was bathed in her own sweat, and a single tear ran down her cheek.

James had foregone any more rest when she turned over and fell quickly asleep. Instead, he did his perimeter checks, ensuring nothing had been disturbed and wondered if he would need to set up any traps for animals. Upon another sweep of the house, he found the far basement corner had more canned goods and a few fruits jarred. It would be sufficient to keep Natalia’s energy up.

He carried them up to the main floor while he still had some light filtering down into the basement. His compact flashlight was adequate enough for the rest of the trip and he scouted for anything else useful in the unfinished basement before he closed it and put a dirtied cloth against it to keep the draft out.

James had gone back to change Natalia’s dressings; he did not want to wake her, but the infection would be worse and the burns… while nearly gone now, still needed constant changes and some lotion to keep hydrated so they would not grow worse again.

When he’d finished he ducked quietly into the attached bathroom to wash his hands, untie his hair and wash it as well. Then the cleaned the rags out so he’d be able to reuse them later… and then her scream pierced through the simple silence.

He was back in the room in nanoseconds, his gun raised, safety off, and eyes trained on the entrance of the doorway and the window, back and forth. The Soldier’s eyes swept again but found nothing; he was about to clear the rest of the cabin when he took in her state for new injuries.

Nothing… just sweat and she cried or at least had been. James was pulled to the forefront. He switched the safety on and tucked it into the back of his pants again. There was no intruder, just the memories. He sat next to her on the bed and his hand instantly raised to cup her cheek.

To bring her back to the present. With him. <“Natalia,”> He soothed. <“You’re awake now.”>

She was panting and pressed her hand against her chest, ignoring the pain from her healing ribs. She tried to even out her breathing, but it seemed to become harder and harder. Then, from the corner of her eyes, Romanova noticed something getting near her. Her vision was unfocused, but instincts kicked in, and her hand darted upwards and wrapped around his wrist. Her left hand was pulled into a fist like she was still holding the scissors from her dream.

She was about to ram the imaginary scissors into his throat but stopped her fist in midair. Something made her stop, and she almost forcibly pulled her hand backward. Her vision finally focused on him, and she took in her surroundings. She must have stopped because he had talked to her. Her eyes took him in for a second, trying to figure out whether his neck was sliced.

Natalia dropped her hands next to her like nothing had just happened.

Finally, she seemed to relax, but her brows furrowed. She was sure where that dream had come from but not why she had called the short-haired man James. It didn’t matter. After all, it was just a dream. Perhaps it was the name of one of her initial targets, and she subconsciously linked both men to one another.

<”I didn’t kill you...”> she whispered to herself and rubbed her temples again, wondering why she thought she would do that. Her body was obviously too battered to fight him.

He glanced calmly down at her hand wrapped vice-like around his wrist, she’d thrown her hand backwards, aimed towards him as if it had a knife. She seemed to grow more shaken, but slowly more present too. It took her a moment to come out of it and he drew his hand back when she appeared to grow calm and grounded in reality.

“No.” A sharp frown drew across his face as she announced that. He didn’t know if he should be flattered that her killing him was a nightmare for her. Or if he should be upset, she caused herself worry over this. He shook himself and looked over her briefly.

“If it helps your conscience, it would be very challenging for you to kill me if you could,” He offered, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he tried to make light of her previous distress. If she could, he did not know. They were on the same side of the world and, therefore, not pitted against one another. Natalia would have quite the chore of it, though.

Her gaze went almost instantly to him as he told her no. The change in his voice made her obedient, and almost instantly, her mind went blank, awaiting further commands that would never come. She tried to shake the thought and empty her mind, but she couldn't.

“You said you were afraid to die here. No one’s around but me to kill you, so it’s not that ridiculous,” Natalia told Winter honestly as it left her lips based on his ordered voice prior. He was trying to be gentle again, but her mind was set on the voice of the Winter Soldier. Even his gentler one didn’t make her relax and spill the beans. Something about the Winter Soldier’s voice made her want to please him and follow orders.

“Hm?” He gazed at her confused, trying to trace when he'd said such a thing. He was nearly sure he had not. Certainly, death was a concept he hardly thought of… for one reason or another. Of course, there were many things like that. Perhaps in a dream of hers?

‘I'm not dyin' here.’

Bucky gave a last, frustrated jerk to the binds when he paused, hearing the clatter of footsteps down a corridor.

German hit his ears, and he could suddenly remember what they said. He, too, remembered not knowing the language… but he did now, suddenly.

Translating the once foreign babble. Another soldier… a Brit, had died of some… potion? No, that word was more along the lines of an elixir or serum, maybe. Something wasn't perfected? Line up the next… the next one... Him…

That voice… the German he could now translate, he knew that voice…

Sergeant Barnes… he shuddered violently. That scientist… did more to him than any of the others for some reason. He'd had many men look over him and do things… and none bothered him. Even old memories did not bother him… but that voice… stirred something in him. Something old… something foreign to him now… something like Natalia nearly dying… something like fear.

'We've only begun.'

A needle digging under his skin in his mind made him jerk straight suddenly, metal hand whining as he tightened it too quickly and his other fist wrapping around the old blanket he sat on.

The scientist only chuckled contritely and reached into James' shirt. He tugged out the dog tags hanging around his neck and scanned them.

James's chest heaved up and down, his shoulders rising and sagging with the motion. Now he could only hear ringing and an intense pain he hadn't felt so strongly before except when he was sometimes waking… or falling… when he awoke and was falling. He felt it again now, and his body shivered with it. His eyes darted wildly as he saw Natalia sitting there. That's right, she'd…. said he was afraid to die, that he'd said it… maybe not in her dream… but in his?

“No,” He corrected, but his voice was still raspy as he looked at her. There was still fear there… so abnormal for him. He couldn’t shake the irrational feeling that man must be watching him suddenly.

“Not you… just not here. Someone else…”

Barnes…

He shuddered involuntarily again, his eyes still cloudy with the memories despite looking at her.

“A long time ago.” Long before he… before he was this, back… his face cringed, eyes half closing as another pain seemed to stab at his brain. That goddamn file… didn't… it made things worse… sometimes. He knew he shouldn't think that, but he didn't want this man's voice in his head suddenly. He just didn't want it there. Yet he couldn't unhear it now. It was stuck, haunting him.

Natalia looked at him as he seemed in denial of what she had said. She shook her head and looked away. He appeared to become unfocused and concentrate on other things. The redhead turned to the window and looked out of the window. The leaves that moved in the wind caught her interest and were somewhat meditative.

Eventually, she turned to him again, placing her hand on his cheek as he declined. Natalia smiled gently despite the serious topic. Her thoughts were dispersed again, and she sighed a little.

Then, she frowned as he told her it was somewhere else and someone else he had mumbled about during his sleep.

“It’s okay…” she whispered as instincts kicked in again. Just like prior when she had attempted to kill him. Yet this time, it was gentler than just a moment before. She caressed his cheek.

“I’m here…. concentrate on my voice. Things are going to be fine,” she told him gently, trying to soothe whatever was happening. Her gaze was soft, almost like she was back to her usual unbrainwashed self.

He struggled between focusing on Natalia and hearing different words, different bits of hell from that voice.

“Hydra’s fist…. I’m here….”

Concentrate? It felt like an order, one he could attach himself to. The Soldier was good at that. It didn’t quite work right away, but eventually, her voice lured him back. It seemed to drown out some of the noise in his mind and he suddenly recognized her hand on his cheek. He couldn’t feel it before, and now her voice seemed stronger and louder despite her quiet soothing.

James blinked as the accented voice died away ultimately. Then, finally, he could retake note of her, watching him patiently, fingers running softly against his cheek. James closed his eyes to it and did his best to compose himself. When he did, he opened his eyes again and they were calmer. He felt exhausted, his small amount of sleep catching back to him while Natalia’s soft gaze had calmed him.

<”Thank you, Natalia,”> He said softly and reached up to set his hand on top of hers against his cheek. “We are some pair.”

James managed a soft chuckle and slipped his fingers around hers.

She watched him react, running her thumb back and forth on his cheek soothingly. He seemed still unfocused, but she didn't know what else to do. She was simply mirroring his action towards her as she wasn't sure how else to handle it. Natalia needed to gain experience in getting him out of this state. His prior statement was true, though. He apparently did know what was going on inside her brain. So she kept her ministrations on his cheek while trying to anchor him in reality.

Once he seemed to calm down and become focused again, Natalia was about to drop her hand but he placed his on top of her and intertwined their fingers. She frowned at their hands and wondered why this felt so familiar. Nothing came, so she tried to unsuccessfully shake the familiarity off, but his voice and gentle body language allowed her to dwell on it a little longer. Natalia analyzed his body language, which was open and gentle towards her despite the terror he had just felt.

“You're welcome, James,” she replied gently, not even realizing the name she had used. It slipped from her tongue without a second thought, and she was lost in her realization completely. Natalia brought her other hand up and gently ran it through his hair. She smiled over his sarcastic comment, or at least what she thought was sarcasm.

“We'll get by. At least that's what I think,” she smiled gently.

He’d almost missed it because it felt normal, and he was only half aware of everything, more focused on the exhaustion. When Natalia added her unsure answer, it reminded him he was supposed to be the one helping her. It made her statement suddenly stick in his mind, and his eyes snapped up suddenly, widening.

James? She’d called him James… he hadn’t imagined it… it was something; he danced around telling her it because of her reaction in the mess hall. He wondered momentarily if he should let her slip go… but she’s said it, and it wasn’t him telling it to her. So that was why he kept quiet, right? To not force her into it, he hadn’t… but he didn’t want to disturb her soft smile. It was hard to measure the correct course of action, but this must be it. She had said it, after all, and he found it hard not to.

“You remembered my name,” He told her, looking intently at her face.

Natalia dropped her hands as he seemed to get wrapped up in himself again. She was trying to make him feel better, and it seemed like it had worked for her. He didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. So, she had successfully taken it away, hadn’t she? After all, it helped neither him nor her if the only person who could protect them was in pain and unable to move.

He again caught her attention as he mentioned that she had used his name. Confusion was shown on her face as she wasn’t sure what she had said anymore.

You’re welcome, Winter… had been her answer, hadn’t it? No… she knew better. She had used James. The name of the man with the short hair from the house. The one who had dressed up to watch the ballet performance in her dream. She frowned and looked at him. The tiring headache came back and started pounding in her head. Again, someone was hitting her with a hammer against the skull to split it into two. By now, she knew that it was only pain from the chair and no one was hurting her.

“I-” she began but became quiet again and crinkled her mouth. Natalia wanted to go for the easy road and believed it was her target’s name.

“Your name is James…” she eventually spoke unsure and looked at him. She pressed the palm of her hand against her eyes. It was like a scene displayed behind her closed eyes from a memory of sorts.

They were in a living room away from the Red Room. He had short hair and was dressed like a soldier. They were talking about something that she wasn’t able to remember.

“What if I told you… your name’s James,” she had told him. He had looked at her like he didn’t believe her. After all, it had been his name on the cover. The name she had given him in hopes that he would remember something. But, like always, it had left her unsatisfied and a little annoyed. No matter what she tried, nothing helped.

“Why do you think answering the name comes so easy? You don’t even need to remind yourself it’s your cover. You just listen to it instinctively, Winter. Like someone was given the name,” she had told him to persuade him into believing him. Or at least that’s how she remembered it. “I know this for sure. There’s even more, where your name is coming from,” she had told him, but he seemed so transfixed on the name to realize that she had continued talking.

Her wrist was aching like he suddenly had wrapped his metal finger tightly around it. Natalia looked down at it and remembered his angered self wrapping his fingers around it in frustration.

“I walked out on you…” Natalia gasped out in pain as only small parts of that occurrence were coming back; but the big picture of that day was still missing. She suddenly looked at him with big eyes as she realized what that meant.

“Your name is James Buchanan Barnes, not Winter Soldier,” she said and blinked once, then twice as she tried to process this. Finally, she vaguely remembered the name attached to an old picture from the second world war of the person she had killed in her dream. The same person who had sat next to her during that opera.

He nodded again to confirm her memories were correct. Her voice grew heavy so he reached out and hesitantly set his hand on her knee.

“I reacted poorly,” He said, his voice still shamed. Her hands were busy, but he wanted to do something.

Her saying it… he hadn’t really heard the name aloud like that. James Buchanan Barnes…. this was who he was. It felt strange, but… it seemed right that it wasn’t simply the Winter Soldier; part of him roared against it.

The pain came, as he’d expected, but he’d silently hoped it might not be that way. It was, of course, why she was put through this. The file. The names and facts within it that were now causing him similar problems. He nodded firmly and spoke a quiet: “Yes.” He did not want to disturb her if she remembered things. From the distant, glazed look in her eyes, that was precisely how it might be happening. What that was… was another question. It was difficult to watch, but he stayed still and James let her process it. This felt very important, maybe the start of her accepting and remembering more. On the other hand, perhaps that had already happened.

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shieldagentnatasharomanoff · 2 years

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Love

"Love is for children." Is what Natasha used to say. She believed it with all her heart. Love made you weak, it made you depend on people, it made you voulnerable.

Love will take your life one day.

Madame Helena had pushed this into her mind. Her handlers had made sure she never forgot. The 28 widows were pitted against each other, no kindness or fraternizing allowed. The only one you could rely on was yourself.

Then came an unnamed soldier who got flustered and shared wine with her at the New Years festivities and a spark had been lit within her. She hadn't called it love then, but she would call it love now. Of course their small amount of luck had run out as fast as to be expected while being top agents of the russian system. They had gotten seperated, one propably killed.

Love will take a life one day.

It had held true... Natasha hadn't been made for love. She had been made of marble, to be a precise instrument, to be pointed in one direction and given a directive. Until Clint found her and gave her a second chance.

This is where her opinion changed. "Love is still hard..." Natasha admits, not just to herself but the people around her. She had to learn how to love and how to be loved. An archer always on her side to guide her along.

And now? The old words still ring through her mind.

Love will take your life one day.

They've lost their power. Her mind wanders as she thinks on this. She's learned a whole lot of different loves during her life time. There was the love she had for one James Buchanon Barnes who would always have a place in her heart.

There was the love she shared with Clint who gave her a second chance after all the missteps she took. Who never gave up on her no matter how much she failed or endangered them. He always took her hand and lifted her up again.

There was the odd little family she had found, tucked away between the mists of the multiverse and magic. The broken, kind hearted Doctor that made her smile and made her tea and offered insights where she never asked for them. The ever patient teacher who confided in her as much as she did in him. Ever encouraging, ever worried and certainly not paid enough for the role he had to play in keeping them all out of trouble.

The joyfoul woman Natasha came close to calling her sister. Always caring, always worried, always shining a light into even the darkest places. Making every place she entered a home.

And then there was the troubled, infinitly loyal and awkward eldritch terror she had met along her way. Always stumbling, always scared, always clueless about social aquity and always in pain and shame over his transgressions. Their friendship had formed into a deeper connection over the years he came to visit. Natasha still remembered their fight over his misery manifests and a certain person he would never get out of his head. She also remembered the reunion when the widow finally felt whole again.

For the first time. In a long time she had told someone that she loved them. The words never came easy. The old saying still haunting her sometimes fragile mind.

Love will take your life one day.

"It propably will. There is only one difference. For them I would give it gladly."

@supremestrangeness @cherryfinolahobbes @strxngemxgick @prplhawk

(Y'all are part of my headcanons. That's what you get for being awesome people ^^)

#word meme #hc: just like budapest. all in our head.#also love

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hiddenwashington · 2 months

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@rcvcrics said: Was that [SEBASTIAN STAN]? Oh no no, that was just [JAMES BUCHNANON BARNES], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [MARVEL]. They are [THIRTY-TWO] years old, use [HE/HIM], and [ARE] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long. { can i change han's fc to chris evans plz? }

accepted! welcome to washington d.c. james buchanon barnes [sebastian stan]! please send in your account within 24 hours! please be sure to take a look at the checklist now that you've arrived! we look forward to seeing you around the city! **han solo is now sebastian stan chris evans!

#marvel rpg #marvel roleplay #marvel rp #appless rp #comic rpg #accepted #admin kasey #rcvcrics

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buckys-milk · 3 years

Text

Like Looking in a Mirror- Part One

Pairing-History major!Bucky x Librarian!Reader

Word count-1,083

Warnings-none! Besides a wee bit of angst(ish)

Masterlist

A/n: Here’s part one of this series!! It was suggested by one of my friends who wanted to see more history major!bucky!!! I was super excited to Wright this first chapter and hope it’s a bit of an introduction into a short series!

Also don’t mind the spacing in this post, I have no clue why the spacing got messed up ;;;;;

The smell of old books, the cloud of dust that lingers, bleak sunlight spilling in. All things Bucky Barnes loves about the school library-especially on a quiet Thursday afternoon.

NYU was a particularly busy school, and Bucky knew exactly when to catch it’s dead-zone hours. 11:40AM, students leave right in time for their 12:00’s, leaving Bucky and a few others to linger around.

Sliding into a creaky chair far out of sight, Bucky fishes his phone out at the sound of three buzzes.

coffee?

Steve knew his schedule too well.

3rd floor, left corner, no sugar

Give me 5

Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about grabbing a coffee After class. No less than five minutes later, the tall blonde slid in right across from him. “Great table, trying out a new space?”

“Was getting tired of the corner off to the right,” Bucky quietly laughed out. “Besides, the librarian scares me.”

Steve craned his neck around the bookcase hiding their table. “You’re not talking about the one standing at the desk right now…are you?”

Standing at said desk was a senior, dressed head to toe in a white sweater dress adorned with patterned tights and docs.

“There’s nothing scary about her Bucky, come on, you gotta be serious.” Steve lowers his head to match Bucky’s eyes, which are deep into his History book on WWII.

“She makes me nervous alright?” He flips a page with a huff, “she’s sweet and always smiles at me when I check books out.” There was a silence from the blond, waiting for Bucky to say more.

“That’s it? She smiles at you? Bucky, I know you well enough to know that not even the hottest girl on campus could make you nervous,” Steve smooths his right hand under the front cover of Bucky's book, closing it with a bang, “what’s different ‘bout this one?”

Sitting back with a sigh, Bucky couldn’t help but size up the now ‘smiling-because-he-knows-He’s-going-to-get-info-out-of-him’ Steve. “She’s just, she’s-“

“Out of your league? Yea I don’t think so buddy, she’s wearing a sweater dress.” Steve points out, leaning back in his chair to stare at the cute librarian again. “Why don’t you go talk to her? Maybe she’s interested in you.”

Trailing a hand down his face he finally takes a sip of his now cooled down coffee. “Just because she smiles at me, doesn’t mean she’s interested man.”

“Come on,” Steve breathes out, “she works at the library, you’re a history major, match made in- hold on,” stopping mid sentence he rushes to grab his phone out of his pocket, “oh hey!” Pulling the phone from his face he finishes, “a match made in heaven, Bucky.” Getting up, he nods his head towards the desk and fumbles out of there garnering shushes on his way.

Bucky did think about Steve’s idea, although he knew It was nothing more than a joking taunt. It wasn’t that the librarian scared him because she was sweet or quiet or a librarian for that matter. It was because she wasn’t like his usual type. He wasn’t a huge partier despite his popular status at NYU, he was the hot history major, future hot history professor. The girls had their obsessions lay with him and his aesthetics. Steve was right though, they’d make a great couple, wouldn’t they? Smiling at his new (not so thought out) revelation, he dropped his text book into his backpack and stood with confidence. Talking to the quiet librarian couldn’t be too hard, right? She talks to people every day! It’s her job!

right, now all Bucky had to do was grab a few books to buy him some time. Talk while she rings out- perfect plan. Bucky knew right where to go, the historical fiction section. From top to bottom, Bucky had read a majority of the “classics”, but now wasn’t the time to run through mental lists, now was the time to impress. Grabbing a few of his favorites, Portrait of a Lady, Anna Karenina, Pride and Prejudice, ok so, historical romance it is. Slowly making his way towards the counter, Bucky throws his coffee away and waits for her to return. Oh no, I hope she isn't’ on break, it is lunch time, I should’ve asked her out to lunch. No I shouldn’t that’s too fast. I should’ve-

“Hi!”

Fuck. “uh hey.” Bucky chokes out awkwardly and places his books down. She takes the first book silently, ringing it up and placing it off to the side. She turns to the next book, and wavers a moment.

Why the hell did I choose fucking historical romances? Bucky, nervously chuckles, “I have to write a paper on historical romance for um, my historical fiction class.”

She looks up at him with a light smile, “these are great books, ever read them?” She speaks softly, ringing up the last of the three, Portrait of a Lady. “I read this one last summer, it was suggested to me by an old friend, though I can’t say I loved it as much as Tolstoy.” She jokes, holding up Anna Karenina.

Bucky doesn’t answer, only stares with wide eyes, he hadn’t quite done what he came up here for. “Uh, yea! Yea, I’ve read all three, don’t think I really have a favorite,” he rushes out grabbing at the books resting on the counter. “Actually I wanted to ask you a question, uh,”

“Y/N” she speaks out, pointing to her name tag.

“Y/N,” dumbass, didn’t look at her name badge. “I have some time tomorrow, do you wanna maybe get some coffee?”

Without even faltering, without even a blink, “I’m sorry but no. Have a good day.” She smiled yet again, like she gets asked this question everyday.

“Oh, yea no cool, see you later!” Bucky spoke softly as he rushed out, nearly embarrassed. She said no, of course she would. I’m totally out of her league, why would she even say yes? Bucky **could and would try in any way to make himself feel better about absolute rejection, which wasn’t an occurrence that happened frequently. Besides, Bucky had much better things to do then take some girl out on a date, right? He could study for next week's test, or go to that party Steve’s been bugging him about, not to mention the hundreds of girls who would die to hangout with him. He could have any girl, why is she any different?

Now, about the books.

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sweet-like-sugarvenom · 3 years

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i miss stucky so damn much. just imagine their power🥺

#i am sad y’all #bucky barnes #james buchanon barnes #steve rogers #stucky #stevebucky #marvel #mcu #sebastian stan #chris evans #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #the avengers infinity war #dinah’s wonderland #aka my random thoughts

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bleedxblack-art · 3 years

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‘The Chair’Digital Painting

Created for @buckybarnesbingo

Square U5: image prompt of Bucky sitting at the chair pre-wipe Medium: digital art Rating: T

Ao3 link: here

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #winter soldier #digital painting #bucky barnes needs a hug #bucky barnes bingo #bbb2021 #fanart #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #james buchanon barnes #torture #ca:ws #alexander pierce #winterbones

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ducky-moo · 3 years

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Any movie you looking to watch in particular?

You glanced down at your phone as the text from your boyfriend crossed the screen. Eyes darting between the phone and the dark road ahead of you, you reached over to respond.

Whatever you want, Buck. I always pick anyways. You remembered to pick up ice cream, right?

You set your eyes back on the road, phone still clutched in one hand as you carefully navigated the hairpin turns back to your shared house. The light from the screen flashed in your eyes, rendering you sightless for a second. You flinched as your eyes adjusted.

After the tongue-lashing you gave me last time, I'd be hard pressed to forget

You let out a quiet chuckle as you began to type back. Suddenly, you felt the front of your car take a steep dive. You let out a scream as the force of the nose-dive into the ditch cause your car to flip upside-down. That was the last thing you remembered before you were rendered unconscious.

------

Lights were flashing all around you when you came back to, but they were drowned out by the one shining directly into your eyes. You flinched and blinked slowly. Everything came into focus seemingly one by one.

First, the splitting pain in your head. Next, the ear-shattering screeching of sirens all around you. And finally, the uniformed presences swarming around you.

"Hey, welcome back. Can you tell me your name?" A paramedic asked you as they pulled the light away from your face.

"Um...Y/n...what happened?" You were clearly confused as you tried to take in the scene around you.

"You were in an accident. Do you know how it happened?"

Suddenly, it all came rushing back to you. You saw your car upside-down in the ditch, and your face turned red with embarrassment.

"Oh, um, yeah. I uh, I was texting my boyfriend and, well...can I call him? He's probably wondering where I am." You bit your lip and looked away from the paramedics in front of you as they sighed and shook their heads and gave you disapproving looks.

"Sure, but we need to get you to the hospital to evaluate you further. This was no minor thing." You looked over at your upside-down car and slowly nodded. It sure didn't seem that way, did it?

After acquiring a phone, you dialed Bucky's number, which was the only one other than your own and your parents that you knew by heart.

"Hello?" His voice rang out on the other end of the line.

"Bucky, hey, um-"

"Doll? Where are you? And whose phone are you calling from?" Confusion was evident in his voice, along with traces of concern.

"Listen, I uh, I got into an accident-"

"An accident? What do you mean? Are you okay? Where are you?" He asked again. After a brief conversation with him, you handed the phone back to the paramedic it belonged to.

"Can we just wait a few minutes? I live right down the road- he'll be here in like, two minutes." They shook their head.

"We need to get you to the hospital now. He can meet us there."

------

After a long hour of poking, prodding, and testing, you finally felt relief wash over you as Bucky was allowed into your room. He rushed over to your bedside, and before you could even speak, he had gathered your face in his hands and pressed a fervent kiss to your lips.

"What were you thinking?! You could have gotten yourself killed!" His voice was filled with emotions- panic, worry, anger, concern. He didn't let go of your face as his eyes searched across it, as if looking for some sort of answer from it. You couldn't help but look away.

"I'm sorry. I-I don't...Bucky, I don't know what to say...I'm sorry." All at once, all the emotions that had been suppressed by the shock of the night's events came rushing forward, and tears spilled from your eyes. Your boyfriend pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat down, holding your hands tightly within his own.

"You know better, Y/n. That was stupid, especially on those roads. I've told you so many times-"

"I know. I know. I'm sorry." A sigh passed his lips, and he leaned over to kiss you again. It was wet from the tears falling down your face, and he pulled away, wiping them away with the sleeve of his jacket.

"I'm just glad you're okay, baby doll. I don't..." He took a shuddering breath and his head hung a bit lower. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Blue eyes looked up at you through lowered lashes before looking down again. You pulled your hands from his and reached out, cupping his cheek. Your thumb rubbed along his cheekbone as you ducked your head down to try and look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry I scared you, baby. I love you. I'm okay, don't worry." He breathed a sigh through his nose and lifted his head up. After watching you for a few moments, a sad, yet playful smile tugged at his lips.

"I didn't bring the ice cream with me."

#bucky fanfic #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanon barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #sebastian stan

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monster-cock69 · 3 years

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what about a mafia au with soul marks? but the first things they say to each other marks (as usual if someone wants to write it its yours just give credit)

Steve and Bucky had said their first words to each other when they were around six, back when Steve's mom had been going to the mob for money to pay for his medical bills {Bucky had snuck away from his bedroom and Steve had been sat down at a table with a plate of cookies so he didn't hear the adults speaking}

when they grew up and Sarah's grace period was up, instead of paying Bucky's dad wanted Steve to train to be Bucky's right hand {after all they were soulmates, and everyone knew they were fucking the ever living shit out of each other basically brothers and the best of friends}

They mostly evolve from selling things that "fell off the truck" and though they're still definitely a crime family, they own a multitude of legal businesses

When a rival family puts a price on their unknown soulmate's head, they put their own enforcers on it and, and when the search turns fruitless, they hire a few mercenaries and double the other family's reward

The last thing they expect is for a black widow to drag a small underweight boy into their parlor in the middle of a Tuesday {Peter? Tony? either work}

he's screaming, filthy, and the only spots of clean skin on his face are tear marks

the once scribbled, unintelligible grey words become clearer and darker, though the "Let me go, let me go" is still nearly unintelligible {the surprise that brings isn't pleasant because the boy is the size of a two year old but obviously older since he can write and read}

neither Steve or Bucky have the slightest clue what to do with the boy, so Bucky just gives the widow her money and the three of them kinda stare at each other

when they get their shit together they get him enrolled in a school that most of the family uses, then when they hear about him kissing a boy in the bathroom they keep him home and get him private tutors

his introduction to sex with them is slow, but they've made sure to mold him to their liking since that dreadful day when he was fourteen

he becomes a made man at fifteen and one of the world's best marksmen by seventeen {the only reason that he isn't the best with knives as well is because Bucky can't keep his hands off of him and he's developed too much of a knife kink}

idk if it's omegaverse but if it is then that first heat-

his first kill is a woman that kept trying to push Steve into having sex and he gives him her severed hand

also both Steve and Bucky have beards

that's all I've got but if anyone wants to add they're more than welcome to

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hana1379 · 4 years

Text

Tequila and Ridiculously Pink Dress

Summary: Being a guest at a wedding sometimes can make you feel adventurous. And you can't say no when a devil named Natasha persuades you to have a little fun.

Pairing: Bucky Barne x Reader, other minor pairings

Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (female & male receiving), vaginal fingering, One night stands, language,18+

Words: 3.8k

Notes: I wanted to get back to writing here, so I wrote this instead of writing my thesis. Yay! The idea is loosely based on some story from a game I played.

Oh, I realized that we don’t have line breaks anymore and I’m confused bc why?

!If you spot any mistakes please blame my lack of education and/or Grammarly!

You were awakened by the sound of a notification on your phone. Blindly, you reached in every direction to grab it when you felt something on your left. Something firm yet delicate and oddly known. Having increasing pain in your head in regard you only peaked with one eye from the safety of a comforter. You saw a torso. Man's torso. Oh. So you ended up with a guy in bed. Putting two and two together you got drunk and got laid. Shit.

You didn't know who the man was nor you cared, wanting only to leave before he wakes up. You weren't the type to sleep around still not being completely over your break up almost half a year ago.

You pulled the covers from your body wincing at the pain in your skull. Where the hell was your dress? Where the hell were you?

Looking around you saw that you were in a hotel room. You saw your dress lying on the floor by the door, tiptoeing you moved to your possession when with dread you saw your panties hanging on the doorknob. The doors were shut on them, there was no way people didn't see your black lace garment from the corridor.

Slowly and as quiet as possible you opened the door to take a hold of your thongs and closed the door immediately after. Relieved that the commotion although quiet didn’t wake up the guy. You tiptoed once more through the room to the one place where you could be alone, grabbing your bra on the way.

You closed the door behind you wincing at the sudden loud sound of the lock.

“What the fuck?” you whispered facepalming yourself. You glanced at the mirror seeing the state you were in. One thing was sure; you were never, ever drinking tequila again.

You were sipping a glass of ridiculously expensive wine, observing the dance floor. You smiled seeing the groom spinning the bride making her laugh. They looked happy, they were happy and you were happy for them. Steve and Sharon were made for each other. You admired Sharon for not giving up on her happiness and fighting for Steve. Lucky bastard. You wanted someone to fight for you the way Sharon did, and what you got was your ex explaining to you that he wasn't ready for any commitment only to knock up some random girl and marry her.

At this point you were sure that every guy in the world was an ass, even Steve’s best man- Sam left you to hit on some girls. Right, it wasn’t like he had to babysit you because he was the best man and you were Sharon’s maid of honor but still, you felt alone surrounded by Steve and Sharon’s mutual friends from work, you were the only one from her high school friends she invited.

“Hiya cutie” sounded Natasha’s velvet voice. You met her and Sharon’s other friends on the bride shower two weeks prior. You were keen on them but it wasn’t like you were all the biggest of friends after one party. “Why are you sulking above your cake? Which piece are you on? Twelve?”

You scoffed “No, it’s only my second. Besides it’s nobody's business how many pieces I ate”

“That’s the spirit! Fuck diet” she announced and sat beside you taking a mouthful of an intact piece that belonged to Sam but you were pretty sure he was eating something else right now.

“So why are you looking like someone stole your man?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the thing with my ex. I mean, I really thought he was the one” you said moving around the piece of cake you didn't eat yet on the plate.

"Maybe he was the one but not for you," Natasha said looking at her cake with hunger in her eyes. She took another mouthful and when you didn't comment she quickly chewed before swallowing.

"You know what I think you need?

"What?" You averted your eyes to look at the dancing people, you weren't interested in what Natasha wanted to say

"You need to get laid," she said with pride in her voice, you looked at her and snorted. She wasn't serious

"I mean it. Look, you see that guy?" Natasha pointed with her chin to a guy sitting at the table across the room. He was gorgeous, with broad shoulders and a perfect face. The most handsome man you ever saw in your life. A god. Sex on the legs.

"His name is Thor and he came alone here tonight. If you like them pretty and dummy then he's a perfect match for you. Go talk to him"

"Why don't you talk to him?" You laughed trying to hide how embarrassed you were starting to get

"I cherish brian more than muscles. Go for it"

Actually, you thought why not? It wasn't like after one night you were supposed to date him.

"Come on Y/N live a little, relax and let loose" the devil on your shoulder named Natasha successfully was convincing you to sin. To sin with a fine specimen. You wouldn't mind if after everything he would take you out.

"You know what? Why the hell not? I'm going to him" you said and gulped down the rest of your wine in one go "but I think I need a drink first"

"Yeah! You won't regret it I tell you. Go" she stood up and saluted you only to sit down again and stuff her mouth with another spoonful

You moved to the bar on the other end of the hall trying to get a hold of your ridiculously puffy dress. You had hoped that when Sharon asked you to be her maid of honor she wouldn't get you a typical pink dress for a maid. How you were wrong.

You reached the bar and waited patiently for the bartender to acknowledge you, looking from time to time at the Thor guy, you didn't want him to go somewhere without you noticing. When the bartender finally turned to you with a big smile on his face you ordered a tequila shot. You felt like having fun so why not?

He poured one for you in a shot glass with salty crust, he also gave you a lime slice. You took a breath before taking a shot and then sank your teeth in lime. Why did it feel like you died? You ordered another and gulped it down as quickly as it appeared on the bar.

It was now or never. You turned around in the direction of the guy with newly gained confidence thanks to the alcohol and a big smile on your face. First impressions are important and you wanted him to see that you are not a grumpy hag. Your big grin soon faltered when you spotted the Thor guy locking lips with some cute brunette. Typical.

Looks like your plans turned into dust. Once again you turned to the bartender, accepting your fate of being lonely forever.

“Tequila please” bartender smiled at you with pity in his eyes, he knew what state of mind you were in.

“Oh man” somebody breathed snickering quietly, but not quietly enough for you not to hear. You turned your head to the sound and you saw a guy standing there with a half-finished tumbler with amber liquid in it. You weren’t stupid, he wanted you to hear and his bright smile gave it away.

“I’m sorry, do I amuse you?” you asked narrowing your eyes at him, he only laughed harder

“A little, yes” his blue eyes twinkled and before you were able to respond and told him to go to hell he continued his dilation “What Romanoff did tell you about him? That he came here alone? Then she must be blind or she’s getting old” you didn’t know where this was going and the stranger sighed and slid closer to you with a glass in his hand. He discreetly pointed at Thor and the girl who was now laughing at something he said and holding his hand.

“It’s his new girlfriend- Jane. They're dating for two weeks now I think.” You looked at them, really looked and scolded yourself at how stupid you were thinking someone as hot as Thor could be alone.

“Soooo, I guess it’s better that you saw it from afar than you know, hitting on him and then his girlfriend coming. That would be awkward as hell” he said and you hated that he was right, you would’ve been crossed out among Sharon’s friends, or at least you would be laughed at, and you weren’t sure you would survive that.

“I’m James” the stranger extended his hand to you and you tentatively took it.

“Y/N” you gave him a small smile and he shook your hand

“Y/N” James tasted your name on hi tongue “I like it, it suits you,” he said and you snorted

“Thank you for being polite but I think I’m gonna head home.” you tried to straighten your dress which was impossible with the amount of tulle.

“The night is young Y/N, have fun while you can” he gave you the warmest smile you have ever received making you realize that yet again he was right. You wanted to have fun and it wasn’t like Thor dumped you or rejected you, taking into consideration he didn’t even know you existed. You nodded your head at James and ordered the whole bottle of tequila before he led you to the corner where he’s been previously sitting.

“And then Steve was like thrown into garbage cans in the alley and then he lifted himself trying looking like a badass and said ‘I can do this all day’ like a fucking pro” you giggled at the story Bucky was telling you. Earlier during your conversation, James revealed that he preferred to be called Bucky because James made him feel old and Jim was too stupid. He told you where the nickname ‘Bucky’ came from but at this point, you didn’t remember.

“So” you started to make him look at you “why aren’t you Steve’s best man knowing that he considers you his best friend?” Bucky chuckled awkwardly

“I’m not a person who likes to be in a spotlight, you know on the photos be almost in the foreground”

“You think I like it?” Bucky lifted his brew and meaningfully looked at your ridiculously pink dress “I didn’t choose that dress” you said in your defense and Bucky chuckled reaching for tequila’s bottle to pour you both another shot.

You glanced away and you saw Natasha in her sparkly red dress leading some guy behind her by the hand. Guy looked the way she told you she liked them ‘more brain than muscle’. When she saw that you were observing her she stopped and eyed your companion before giving you thumbs up with her known smirk and then she grabbed the guy’s hand and continued marching.

You felt Bucky tapping you with his glass on your arm to bring your attention to him. You reached for your now full glass and clicked with Bucky’s before you both took a shot.

You were suddenly pulled back to reality when a sound of smashing glass echoed in the room. You saw Thor’s girlfriend loudly telling him not to do that. Do what? Who cares. You didn’t know how long it took until you realized that somebody’s moist mouths were sliding along your neck and sucking at one particular place that made you moan quietly.

“Bucky we shouldn’t do that, not here,” you said and you were relieved that when he lifted his head it was Bucky and not some random dude

“People can see us”

“No one will, everybody is too drunk or they’ve gone to sleep” you looked around the dance floor and you saw several patrons at the table clearly drunk and the only dancing pair. Steve and Sharon were swaying to the quiet almost nonexistent beat, holding each other close.

“We can go to my hotel room. What do you say?” Bucky's voice ringed in your ears and you simply nodded your head.

Bucky closed the door with his boot because his hands were too occupied with pulling at your dress. Maybe you were too overwhelmed by his tongue in your mouth or maybe it was his scent or maybe the booze but you stood there by the door, letting him devour you.

"Bucky the door," you said against his lips seeing that the door wasn't closed properly. Without pulling away from you he reached under your dress and you squealed.

"Give me your panties" he panted and without any word, he got down on his knee and pulled your thongs down. He straightened holding a back lace between his fingers, Bucky smirked before he pecked you on the lips. You saw him hanging your garment on the doorknob and shutting the door on them. He turned to you and pulled your dress down making you gasp when you heard seams ripping.

"Hey! I have to give it b-" Bucky silenced you with his mouth

"You look better without it anyway" he placed his hands on your face and steered you to the bed still not pausing the kiss. He gently laid you on the bed spreading your legs and looking at you with greed in his eyes. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, still looking at you from between your legs. You reached your arms to him. You wanted him, you wanted him badly.

“Bucky please” you whined pathetically and he darkly chuckled

“Not now baby girl, I need to taste you first” before you had time to acknowledge his words Bucky sank to his knees and you felt his hot breath on your core making you shudder. Bucky parted your folds with his tongue and you moaned. God, that felt good. You gasped and released a porn worthy moan. Bucky groaned against you when his tongue ventured to your entrance and sank in. You missed this, you missed being this close to somebody because truth to be told none of any toys in the world won’t replace another human being.

Your steam of thoughts was interrupted when Bucky inserted a finger inside you and latched his lips on your little love button.

Your hand shoot to his hair.

“Oh fuck” you panted trying not to come too fast when Bucky inserted his second digit.

“You taste so good,” Bucky said smirking at you and only then you realized that he was only pleasuring you with his fingers. “And you’re so tight” he slowly dragged his fingers across your walls making you wail.

“Pl-please don’t stop, I need to come” you sobbed and Bucky dived in again continuing his assault. His fingers were moving faster and faster with every passing second and you felt like your orgasm were creeping behind a corner, only three-four pushes and you would be seeing stars but Bucky stubbornly avoided that once spot within you that could make you climax. Frustrated you glanced at him and you saw he had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face and then his fingers brushed it once, twice and you were done for. Clenching hard on his fingers you reached your peak.

When you still didn’t come around, Bucky crawled to hover above you and kissed you. You swore to god that was the most fervent kiss in your life. Numbly you moved your fingers to his belt and started to fight with his buckle failing miserably.

“Let me” he mumbled before he straightened and unbuckled his belt. You took the opportunity to get rid of your bra. You bit your lips seeing Bucky pulling his pants down and when his cock sprang free you almost choked. He was big, it was sure as hell you would be choking on him.

“C’mere” he summoned you with his hand and you obliged. You were sure that you would do anything in your power to make you both feel good.

You kneeled before him beside the bed and Bucky fisted your hair maneuvering your head so that your lips were close to the tip. You opened your mouth waiting for him to insert but you were greeted with him smearing his precome on your lips, like sticky lipstick. You darted your tongue and teased him making Bucky hiss. He untangled his hand from your hair and for you, it was a cue to start the action.

You placed your hand on the base because for sure, you weren’t able to fit everything in your mouth. You slowly started to stroke him while your tongue massaged the underside of his cock. Bucky shuddered and placed his hand on the back of your head signalizing what he wanted. You tried to relax your throat to accommodate him as much as you could when you gagged and Bucky groaned. You knew you weren’t capable of fitting him whole, but Bucky seemed like he didn’t mind lolling his head to the back. You moved your head up and down on his shaft from time to time releasing him to take a breath and your hand to stroke him. He authentically moaned when you slide your tongue on his manhood from his balls to the tip, you the took him in your mouth as far as your throat allowed when you felt him twitch.

It was your cue to double your efforts because he was close. But Bucky had other plans. He grabbed your head preventing you to move and he exited your mouth. He helped you on your feet only to turn you around and push you onto the bed.

You ended up on your hands and knees before him and it was a perfect opportunity to tease him with a sight of your butt and soaking core. Bucky was rapidly rifling through his trousers making you giggle when you saw that he had a hard time focusing on his task.

When he finally found what he was looking for he ripped the package with his teeth and rolled the condom onto his throbbing dick. Bucky scaled bed and pushed your torso into the bed making your butt stick out even more. He grabbed his dick and teased your slit with it.

You whined in dissatisfaction but your whine soon altered into a pornographic moan when Bucky sank his girth into you.

“Jesus girl, you’re tight” Bucky muttered when he bottomed out. He let you grow accustomed to his size, caressing your back, and making shallow thrusts. You tried to make him fuck you, you didn’t want to wait, you wanted him to fuck you hard any time now. You straightened your arms and lifted your body from your position when Bucky pushed you once more making your face colliding with the comforter. Without any warning, he moved his hips so that only his tip was inside and the next second he drove into you.

You cried out, the comforter muffling your screams but Bucky had no intention in stopping his satisfying thrusts.

You were in heaven, you were sure you died and now this was your reward for having such a botched love life.

Bucky was impaling you on his dick in a rapid motion and you felt the peak rushing in. The wet sounds that were heard in a room, believe it or not, were making you hornier with each passing second. Bucky’s hands on your hips weren’t helping you hold either.

“Bucky” you panted “Bucky please I can’t hold on” your cried out into the comforter signaling your inexorably approaching peak.

“Then let go, baby girl. I want you to come on my dick” at his word you screamed and felt a delightful bliss. You clamped down on him and Bucky had to clench his teeth not to come, he wanted to savor this moment as long as he possibly could. He also soon reached his orgasm groaning from the ecstasy.

He collapsed next to you and with a smile on his face he scooted closer to you. Bucky swept dome of your hair that managed to fall from your hairdo and leaned above you.

“You’re perfect,” he said before he captured your lips in a delicate kiss.

Banging from the other side of the door made you realize that your male company has woken up. You didn’t know what to do and what to expect. So you screamed from the bottom of your lungs.

“I need to dress! Wait a minute!” you quickly pulled your panties and bra on when you heard a groan of annoyance.

“Girl you can dress in the room, come on open up, I need to pee” he really sounded like he had to go so you decided to let him in.

You opened the door and he marched in, still naked as the day he was born. Your mouth gaped, you weren’t expecting that.

He muttered something like ‘god damn you woman’ and you had a hard time not to look at his dick and/or butt.

You exited the bathroom to give him a little bit of space and tried to put on your dress when you saw that it was ripped at the seams.

“Doll can you grab my pants and give me them?” Bucky’s voice echoed. ‘Girl, woman, doll’ it sounded like he already had forgotten your name. You exhaled and grabbed his pants from the floor making his phone slip out from the pocket.

“You know I have a name?” you said with outstretched hand looking away, seeing his dick and knowing where it was and what you were doing with it made you somehow nauseous or maybe it was your hangover.

“I know,” he said with humor in his voice, “I think your dress is ruined” you heard him say with an accompaniment of his rustling clothes

“No shit” you murmured and sat on the bed next to his phone when the thing’s screen brightened showing that Buck had an unread message.

“You can take my shirt or if you prefer you can stay here” his voice didn’t reach you because even though that it was rude and nosy your curiosity predominated over your responsibility, especially when the text was from Natasha.

U know Barnes, you should pay me for being such a wonderful matchmaker. I hope Y/N doesn’t regret that.

People I had in my tag list at least one year ago and I was able to tag: @thessaswea @stanskarsgard @chipilerendi @bexboo616 @peaceinourtime82 @usernamesarelies @bulaklakas @lovely-geek @httpmcrvel @antichrist-langdon13 @rebelfleur22 @adrememporium @metalarmlover @benedrylcumbersnatch @myattemptatfanfictioning @british-men

I’m tagging @suz-123 bc you said you wanted to read year ago and @eamesandbellamyaremyheaven, if anything changed just please ignore this

#bucky x reader smut #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x reader smut #Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #james barnes #James Buchanon Barnes #au bucky barnes #bucky barnes lemon #my poor masterlist

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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

Note

What do you mean you've been writing bucky barnes wrong lol 😂

I mean that an entire fandom has written Bucky Barnes as a fully developed and layered character from, like, 22 minutes of screen time in the span of 10 years. So, the freedom that we had with him is also the freedom these writers had. And there’s literally no telling if they have the same ideas as us.

Just look at how much they fucked up Steve Rogers storyline in Endgame. They can easily ruin him too. Just saying.

Or not even ruin him, but just write Bucky completely different than what we’ve all collectively imagined him.

#winter soldier #bucky barnes #falcon and the winter soldier #the falcon and the winter soldier #James Buchanon Barnes #fanfic #fic writers #bucky barnes fic #bucky fic

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hedahobbit98 · 3 years

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Bucky Barnes is Thicker than a Snickers, and I for the life of me DO NOT understand how, this beefy boi, he’s the winter soldier, a literal ghost story, because I am at least 80% sure that I would hear those cheeks clapping from a mile away. *clap*clap*clap*clap, “time to go, Winter is Coming.” 🥴

#Bucky #Bucky Barnes #marvel #Bucky’s ass #thicker than a snickers #beefy boi #butts #them cheeks be clapping #baby what’s happening #James buchanon Barnes #my husband #he deserved better and I will die on this hill #the winter soldier #winter soldier

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iwillbeinmynest · 5 years

Text

Kisses Series - Bucky x Reader(f) 15

Part 15: Comforting Kisses

Author’s Notes: Okay so things...Kinda get better here. But also we’re not done with the series so...

Word Count:1.2K

Notes/Warnings: anxiety, mentions of violence, crying, past traumas

Series Masterlist

The rest of the evening had carried on the way it always did, meeting people they didn’t particularly care too and mingling with excited fans. Bucky had managed to keep Y/N by his side for a solid hour but, as usual, she’d been pulled away by Nat for what was promised to only be a few minutes. Well, a few minutes turned into an hour and Bucky had completely lost track of Y/N. But he was sure she was fine since she was with Natasha.

When he looked over to see Nat laughing with some guests and Y/N nowhere near her, he started to worry. He roamed the ballroom with his head on a swivel. He couldn’t find her. He could see everyone else on his team but not her.

Wanda was walking by when Bucky carefully caught her elbow. “Have you seen, Y/N?”

Wanda looked back over the room. “No, but last I knew she’d gone to the bathroom.”

“Will you go check for me? Please?” His worried expression made Wanda offer a smile of comfort. He was happy to have it but he’d be happier to know where Y/N was.

“Sure.” She nodded.

Bucky walked with her down the hall and stood outside the door while Wanda went in to check.

It was only a minute later when she came out with a shake of her head. “She’s not there. I’ll go ask Nat-”

“No, It’s okay.” He lied. “I’ll ask FRIDAY to find her. Thank you.”

Wanda smiled again and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad to see you two doing well. She really loves you, Bucky.”

Bucky nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets while Wanda returned to the party. When she was completely out of sight, he bolted away from the party. He didn’t know where he was going yet but he couldn’t sit still any longer.

He undid the top three buttons of his shirt, suddenly feeling like he couldn’t breathe. “FRIDAY,” he called as he ran. “I need a location on Y/N, now.” He arrived at the elevators and stabbed at the ‘up’ button.

“She’s in your room, sir.” The AI said kindly.

“She’s what?” Bucky paused as the elevator doors opened. He stepped in and shook his head. Of course he’d panicked. He hit the number for his floor.

“She’s in your room, sir. On the bed to be exact.”

Suddenly, Bucky feared the worst. “Is she...alone?”

“Yes, sir.”

Bucky’s heart began to beat again. “Is she okay? Did she tell you why she left?”

“No, sir, she didn’t tell me but…”

“But what?”

“Well, I don’t know if it’s my place to say, sir.” The AI seem wary.

“I swear, if you don’t just spit it out I’ll have Tony reprogram you.” He threatened.

“She’s crying sir. Her heart rate is elevated and I believe she’s developed quite the headache.”

The elevator doors opened and Bucky rushed out, forgetting the AI all together. Why hadn’t she gone to him? He could have helped her. He at least could have escorted her back or done something to help.

He made quick work of unlocking his door and he threw his keys onto the kitchen counter. “Y/N!”

He jogged to his bedroom and paused for just a second to assess Y/N’s state. When she looked up at him with nothing but fear and shame he went to her.

She sat on the edge of the bed and Bucky knelt beside her taking her face in his. His eyes darted all over her to see if there had been any physical damage but aside from the puffiness of her eyes, he had nothing.

“What happened?” He asked quietly.

She shook her head and sobbed.

Bucky shifted his weight, he was getting antsy. “ Are you okay?” Bucky’s hands moved to hers and his thumbs rubbed over the scars that wrapped all the way around Y/N’s wrists. They were red and angry but made Bucky think. “Is this about Latvia?”

Y/N nodded.

“Baby, you have to talk about it-”

No sooner had he said that did Y/N finally let the dam break. She wailed and Bucky rushed up to wrap her in his arms. She could barely hold onto him from crying so hard. Bucky cradled her as he sat on the bed.

“I’m so sorry!” Y/N said between tears. “I was so scared to tell you.”

Bucky was scared himself. “Tell me what? What happened?” He didn’t realize it but he was rocking back and forth while he held her tight.

And Y/N finally told him. She told him of the torture she’d endured as Hydra tried to get her to tell them where Bucky was. She told him about the men who’d whipped her, beat her and broken her. She told him how afraid she’d been that Bucky would go after the monsters that had done it and end up getting caught. Of how terrified she was of loosing him but also how guilty she felt for pushing him away. She cried until she couldn’t any more. She cried until her head hurt so bad that she could hardly think. She finally calmed down, not by her own choosing but by her body’s exhaustion, and Bucky’s rocking and warm embrace soothed her to sleep.

Bucky gently placed her on the bed and then sat with his head in his hands. Now, it was his turn to cry. Not because he felt guilty for anything, not because her story was too gruesome. No, he cried knowing the weight of the secret she’d been keeping. He’d done it to himself for years after he’d escaped Hydra.

And he cried because of what she’d endured.

She was right to fear that he’d go after the men who’d done that to her. If he’d had known sooner, he absolutely would have. But it had been months now and they’d probably found another rock to crawl under. Not that he couldn’t find them, but for Y/N’s sake, he’d stay.

Y/N rolled in her sleep, exposing her open back from the dress she wore. Bucky frowned at the scars there. He counted eighteen lashes across her back. A jumbled road map of her pain. Pain she’d taken to keep him safe.

Bucky felt exhausted. He laid down beside Y/n and tugged her until she rested against his chest. There, he too fell asleep.

His dreams were filled her. Nothing but images of their history together. He woke to her trying to get out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” He asked groggily.

She sniffed and tried to steady her voice. “Um, just the bathroom…”

Bucky could hear her tears and sat up, grabbing her hand before she could stand. “Hey, come here.” He begged.

Y/N didn’t put up a fight, she didn’t have it in her anymore, so she laid back down and nuzzled into him.

Bucky wrapped his arm over her and she sniffed again. “Please don’t cry any more.” It hurt to hear her like this.

“I’m sorry.” She began to cry again, against her will.

Bucky pulled her tight and shushed her. He kissed her cheeks, murmuring sweet nothings in her ear. Things like, “You’re okay,” and “I’m right here,” and the most frequent, “I’ve got you.”

They stayed like that until they both fell asleep again and when they woke up in the morning the whole world had changed. It was like a weight lifted off of both of them and they were finally able to talk about everything. They no longer felt like they were about to break.

* * * *

Forever Tags:

@heismyhunter @sgtbxckybxrnes @pickledmoon @whimsicalrebirth @marvel-lucy @thisisthelilith @james-bionic-barnes @thedreamingowl @poemwriter98@kimistry27 @annie-lujan @buckyandsebsinbin @lilasiannerd @gypsy-storm-15 @cassiopeiassky @earinafae @the-stuttering-kiwi @obsessedwithatwell @shortiiqt16 @shifutheshihtzu @elaacreditava @nikkitia7 @theonewithallthemilkshakes @gallifreyansass @storytellingwanderer @palaiasaurus64 @iamwarrenspeace @engineeringgirlcve @magnolia-wanders @carameldaemoncakes @canumoveyourseatup-no @melconnor2007 @movingonto-betterthings @spideytrxsh @fantasticmiraclehologram @kapolisradomthoughts @iamwarrenspeace @melconnor2007 @yesiamdeliciouslycaffeinated @mcu-avengerrs @archy3001@mmauricee @barnesvogue @feelmyroarrrr @beyondbarnes @marvelous-avengers @veronicalei @cornflax01 @kudosia @witchymarvelspacecase@beccaanne814 @inumorph @thisismysecrethappyplace @artemis521@darkhologramblaze @palaiasaurus64 @awkwardfangirl2014@diinofayce @youclickedthislink @lille-kattunge @patzammit

Kisses Tags:

@faunacea @encounterthepast @hologramclouds @k-n-e @wingardium-letmefuckyou @imagizibe @girlwith100names@livingoffsavvyillusions @buckyisthepuresthuman @lordemjay@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @buckybarnes4lyfe @baileythepenguin@lobveemo25 @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you @unrequiteduniverse@nerdygirlwithacrush @spnbettermakedestielhappen

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