#dissociation

[ben-marco]

We desperately need to stop mystifying OEA/RAMCOA. As a community, we have got to stop holding up RAMCOA as some kind of mystical, ultimate, "worst" form of abuse that is completely separate from sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.

Organized and extreme abuse involves sexual abuse. It involves physical abuse. It involves emotional abuse. It is all of these things. Stop ranking experiences of abuse. Stop consistently putting RAMCOA on a pedestal of the "worst" possible abuse. All abuse is horrific, and RAMCOA is not inherently separate from any other form of abuse. RAMCOA is not a separate form of abuse. It encompasses all forms of abuse.

By mystifying (and even sensationalizing) OEA/RAMCOA in this way, we are stigmatizing it and allowing misinformation to fester. More importantly, we are invalidating the experiences of others and acting as if the subjective and intensely personal effects of trauma exist in an objective hierarchical structure of who has it worse and who doesn't.

#actually did #actually dissociative #ramcoa #ramcoa survivor #did osdd #did system #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #osddid

[moonyflesh]

“Technical Difficulties” - [Steven Grant x Reader]

WARNINGS: fluff, single use of profanity

CHARACTERS: Steven Grant (Moonknight; MARVEL)

🌙 .*.. ☎️

Your eyes flitted over the open book in your lap, a soft yawn leaving your plump lips as you flipped one of the yellowing pages, your eyes droopy with exhaustion (and possibly a hint of boredom).

Lulling your head back into the large leather couch, your eyes hazenly scanned the large studio apartment, analyzing what a mess it really was.

A cozy, almost welcoming mess, but a mess nonetheless.

You stood, stretching with a slight groan as your back popped, and you tossed the old, hardcover book on the messy coffee table by your calves height, your eyes scanning the papers that littered the surface, analyzing the Egyptian studies and documents for only a moment, before you tore your gaze away from the “fascinating hieroglyphs”.

A soft, oh-so-sweet accent rang through the flat, drawing your gaze through the seemingly endless bookshelves. Steven.

The strong cockney accent had you walking through the maze, your fingers dragging along the spines of the old, once-read books on each shelf, rounding a corner to be greeted by the adorable sight of none other than your loving boyfriend, Steven Grant, hunched over his brand new phone.

Paper manuals splayed out over the already cluttered wooden desk in a frantic splash of white and black text, illuminated by a small desk-lamp as you raised your eyebrows in amusement.

A small pair of “grandma glasses” hung precariously close to the tip of his nose, slipping lower before he would mumble a complaint under his breath and push them back up with a sigh.

“Did you call for me, baby?” You asked, rubbing at your eyes with a soft yawn, before running your hands through your hair, undoing any knots.

“Ah- there’s my beautiful darling!”

He immediately seemed a pound lighter when his posture straightened up from the device in his hand, his chocolate brown eyes meeting yours for a brief moment, a smile of simple relief on his chapped lips.

“Were you sleeping, love?” He quickly questioned, his eyebrows knitting at the sight of your sleepy gaze on him, but smiled and nodded when you shook your head negatively.

“No. Was just bored- i was reading one of your books and just could not find any interest in the concept of worshipping cats,”

He chuckled, faking a face of offense at your distaste in such an interesting matter.

Well, to him anyway.

You wandered to his side, elbows first on the desk, ignoring the stacked papers as your eyes curiously draped over the phone in his hand, noticing how it still was flashing the bright white greeting screen, the word “hello” in different languages flashing slowly over the screen like some sophomore’s lazy slideshow presentation.

“I uh- well, I’ll admit i’m still not fond of your begging me to get a new phone,”

He chuckled out almost bashfully, pushing his reading glasses up the bridge of his crooked, tanned nose once again.

“I cant figure this bloody thing out, love.”

You smiled down at the device, tilting your head in your hand, a small laugh passing your freckled lips.

“I did not beg. I simply…asked. It’s 2025, Steven. You couldn’t keep using that damn flip phone.”

Steven scoffed, a small, playful frown on his face as he cocked his head oh-so-cutely to the side, scrunching his nose at the fact that you were probably right.

You always were, though.

“Don’t fuss with me, love. I’m asking for your help and you banter with me?”

He smiled, nudging your shoulder with his own, scooting back out of the desk’s main area in the rolling office chair.

“I’m just askin’ for sum help, darling,”

He smiled lovingly up at you, like you were the most angelic being out there. Like he was so hopelessly in love with you.

How true that really was, you couldn’t imagine.

Sighing, you gingerly took the phone out of his hand and began the basic set up, casually pointing at buttons and certain things he should remember in terms of having a smartphone, like where the flashlight ability was, etc.

“Alright, you need a password. Something that’ll keep your phone locked, until you wanna use it.”

His eyebrows curiously knitted together, as if that was the silliest thing in the world.

“A…a passcode? Ooo, it’s like a riddle every time i want to contact you! Well- except ill already know the answer every time-”

Your heart swelled with a small huff, his innocence too much for your corrupted thoughts as you laughed.

“Uh- yeah. Like a riddle. So….?”

He pursed his lips for a moment, scratching at his black curls that were messily unstyled and stuck to his forehead.

“Make it…make it your birthday, yeah? That way I’ll never forget, and you’ll always be able to get onnit.”

He looked up at you, his hands reaching out for your hips, drawing you to his seated form, letting you stand between his thighs with a soft smile, one that absolutely melted you, and you couldn’t resist.

“…my birthday?”

He nodded eagerly, rubbing mindless circles into your hips through your loose trousers, shrugging.

“Would you rather it be our anniversary date-?”

God how dearly you loved this man.

“No, no- i just-”

He leaned closer to you, leaning into your stomach as he buried his head into your tummy, nestling his forehead there.

“I don’t deserve you, Steven.”

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant x reader #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x gender neutral reader #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfic #mcu imagine #marvel fanfiction #moon knight system #layla el faouly #khonshu #dissociative identity disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative system #dissociation #actually dissociative #did system #osdd system #osddid #did osdd #did you know #did alter

[dissociativecore]

#weirdcore #oddcore #strangecore #dereality #unreality #nostalgiacore #surrealcore #dreamcore #fever dream #dissociation #daydreaming #daydream #derealization #bluecore #cloudcore #skycore #thoughtcore #dissociative #mine #watercore

[hersurvival]

So gently did you take my hand this morning

And guide me through the crushing weight

Of darkness, terror rippling under my skin.

A house you know well that I've woken to find

Myself lost in, all walls, no exit.

But you knew the way, memorized the corners,

Which doors to leave closed, which rooms

Needed to be passed through to get out.

You talk me through the motions so I understand.

If you hadn't come to find me,

If you hadn't navigated this labyrinth

Of halls and smoke yourself time and time again,

There's not a chance I would have made it.

I thought I would remain lost, immobilized,

Devastated by that heavy darkness.

#thank you #thank you so much #for caring about me #for actually hearing me when i cried for help #poets on tumblr #writing #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #poetry #poem #spilled writing #original writing #spilled poem #spilled feelings #spilled emotions #spiralling #depression #dissociation #sad thoughts #lost #scared #mental health

[met4lwhore]

yall are pro mental illness until they hallucinate

yall are pro mental illness until they dissociate

yall are pro mental illness until they self-isolate

yall are pro mental illness until they're paranoid

yall are pro mental illness until they split

yall are pro mental illness until it's too Scary for your comparatively neurotypical brain to handle

#bpd safe #bpd favorite person #bpd #bpd splitting #dissociative identity disorder #dissociation #self isolation #borderline splitting #paranoia #neurodivergent #mental illness

[caintooth]

seeing people my age talk about how scared they are of memory loss, which they only associate with old age, is so surreal to see as a 24 year old who has actively experienced memory loss for a long time now

there are causes for memory loss besides dementia and alzheimer’s, i hope y’all know that. dissociative disorders, trauma, brain injuries, thyroid problems, even just stress and lack of sleep can fuck up your ability to store, process, and access memory. and that’s just a few of the many causes i can think of off the top of my head right now.

please stop treating disabled people like some scary “other” that you might become only in the distant, decades-away future. we are your age, too. you may become one of us sooner than you know. stop acting like memory loss marks the end of a life, when so many of us have so much living left to do!

#diary #memory loss #memory disorder #dementia #alzheimers #dissociative disorder #dissociative amnesia #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #trauma #brain injury #memory #amnesia #actually dissociative #complex dissociative disorder #osddid #osdd system #dissociative system #other specified dissociative disorder #did system

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

#hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer morningstar #analysis #dissociation #look idk what to tell you all #I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense #when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations #he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything #literally I've been there #the difference between him and me tho #is that he can't show it #he's the king of hell #he has to bluff his way through conversations #but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind #and watch him reply to the things he DID catch #anyways #NEW BLORBO???? #who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel #and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character #I love him #he's so sad

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system

#my bf does not have DID but I like to tell him that he’s microdosing polyamory #system tag #did system #plural system #osdd system #traumagenic system #sysblr #dissociative system #system stuff #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #actually dissociative #other specified dissociative disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative amnesia #dissociative alters #dissociative identities #did memes #did #did osdd #did alter #did community #actually did #hc did #plurality #pluralgang #plural community #plural stuff #plural memes

[c-0-yote-teeth]

#actually dissociative #did #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #osdd #did system #traumagenic did #traumagenic osdd #trauma #actually bpd #bpd #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #borderline pd #manic depression #manic depressive #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked #mental illness #mental health

[inbredlamb]

#distant memories #meme #funny stuff #schizoposting #funny memes #dank memes #derealization #ghost #dissociation #artwork #renaissance art #beautiful photos #ethereality #ethereal #how im tryna be

[iwillnotseeheaven]

#tw sui ideation #tw s3lf harm #tw self destruction #dissociation #tw depressing thoughts #depressing quotes #depressing shit #depressing life #mental health #mental illness #actually bpd #bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd stuff

[one-voice-of-many]

Idk maybe that's why

#actually dissociative #did #dissociative identity disorder #did system #dissociation #traumagenic system #system stuff #alter art #mune #🦌 #Red #📍

[accidentalslayer]

#its always october in my brain #dissociation #shifting #shiftblr #shifting community #desired reality #dr #dreamer #maladaptive daydreaming #maladapting daydreaming disorder

[ben-marco]

It is okay to mourn the child that you were, or the child that you could have been. It is okay to be sad or angry that no one protected you like you should have been protected. It is okay to grieve.

#actually did #actually dissociative #ramcoa #ramcoa survivor #did osdd #did system #dissociation #dissociative identity disorder #dissociative system #osddid

[tumbler-polls]

When you picture yourself in your mind, do you imagine yourself precisely how you look in real life, or do you see something else (an alter ego, a person who looks differently, another being, etc.)? When you're visualizing from the first person's pov, whose hands are you seeing? If you have aphantasia, consider "seeing" as a metaphor for the way you think of the concept of yourself.

The main options (we put them here due to the character limit):

🪞: I only imagine myself the way I look like irl.

🪆: I imagine someone/something that represents me.

✨️: I imagine myself in multiple ways: the way I am, as another being, as an abstract concept, you name it.

Please reblog for a bigger sample size and feel free to expand on your answer in the comments / tags!

Credit to @anon (we added a few options).

#minds eye #imagination #self concept #lgbtqia #aphantasia #psychology #cognition #queer #nonbinary #agender #transgender #did system #dissociation #depersonalisation and derealisation #neurodiversity #spirituality #tumblr polls #tumbler polls

[fallingmaddlyinlove]

when you're heavily dissociated and people are trying to talk to you

#dissociative disorder #dissociation #dissociation memes #madd #maladaptive daydreaming #madd memes #daydreaming disorder #actually dpdr #dpdr