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melit0n · 30 days

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"On sunny days I go out walking, I end up on a tree-lined street, I look up at the gaps of sunlight; I miss you more than anything."

#bit of a vent incoming so be wary #drugs and mental health tw #I miss him. a lot.#he was a shithead who left me bruised up and with more issues than I began with but I miss him #I miss the walks we used to take and the picnics we used to have when it was sunny #when I got to lay my head down and look at the sun through the leaves and have a moment of peace with him #where it would be quiet and he wouldn't shout and wouldn't be high or drunk or hungover and it was finally nice #where it was nice and he made me stay so I did because I thought he could help me and convinced me that I needed to help him #all that 'you leave me and I'll off myself shit'#and then I left because otherwise I'd probably be dead and I hate him. I've never hated someone more in my life other than->#my old best friend but I hate him #but I can't help but go out on walks and miss him to death because he showed me love and that wasn't (still isn't) something I got often #I don't know #I just feel stupid #very very stupid #melitunes #mitski #Spotify

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autopsyfreak · 2 months

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if you shit on people for being drug addicts then just know that i hate you.

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incorrectbatfam · 10 months

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#tim drake #red robin #young justice #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #batman #dc comics #polls #character polls #fandom polls #tumblr polls #tw mental health mention #tw drug mention #tw violence mention

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voidic3ntity · 22 days

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the pitiful child I used to be is still at play in these woodlands:

screaming & crying, yelling & pleading, for the trauma to end;

& here I am, years later, those marks still etched upon my flesh.

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allthecanadianpolitics · 9 months

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The New Brunswick government is pursuing a controversial approach to addressing drug addiction that could result in people being forced into treatment against their will.

That approach would be carried out through legislation giving police officers the power to order someone to undergo drug rehabilitation in the "most extreme cases," where they pose a danger to themselves or others, said Public Safety Minister Kris Austin, in an interview.

"The objective always is to get people the help that they want but some people are so deep into their addictions that they simply can't make that decision," Austin said.

Full article

This is a blatant attempt to remove autonomy from people who use substances- especially mentally ill people. It implies that people who deal with addiction don't "deserve" the right to make our own choices, and gives cops the framework to take that away from people. Involuntary treatment does more harm than good, and many people subject to it are placed under inhospitable conditions that only make their situations worse.

(commentary from Samira, @politicsofcanada )

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thetremblingofaleaf · 8 months

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I don't think anyone would care whether I lived or died so why am I even trying anymore

#mental illness #tw edd #sa recovery #mental health #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd vent #tw sui ideation #sa victim #mental ill health #depressing shit #mental heath support #tw depressing stuff #tw depressing thoughts #drugs tw #tw ana diary

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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they are best buddies <3

#THEYRE IMPORTANT!!! IN MY HEART!!!#biting them biting them biting them #drawing barnaby is so so so relaxing and for what reason #i honestly didnt think id get that attached to him and now hes half of my mental health #im joking. that badge of honor is split between five different characters from five different things #scribble salad #welcome home puppet show #welcome home fanart #welcome home #tw drug mention #< just to be safe! i mean its more of an allusion than a mention but yk #anyway they are the ultimate dog & cat dynamic

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neuroticboyfriend · 1 year

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i feel like the demonization of people who drive under the influence of alcohol and drugs is a problem, actually. like yes we all have been told it's dangerous, but if you haven't noticed, substances affect your thinking. and in some situations, i imagine it isn't as easy to just "get a ride" or "walk home" as people think. driving may not be safe for them or others, but people who use substances are... people. they're not uniquely evil. there's no difference between you and them that makes you immune to doing the same fucking thing, or other dangerous things that you don't think twice about.

#softspoonie #substance use #substance abuse #alcohol tw #drugs tw #mental health #sanism #ableism #drunk driving #driving under the influence

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moldybits · 10 months

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notes: symptoms in this poll are defined as ptsd/trauma symptoms (dissociation, amnesia, hyperarousal, etc)

this is an inclusive poll for any type of system/system origin. but it’s specifically how weed affects systems with trauma. this is not syscourse and i want nothing to do with it!

reblogs are encouraged for sample size

i’m convinced that all the progress we’ve made since december has to do with THC and our endocannabinoid system and i’m curious if other people benefit the way we have.

#may do another poll if i get any interesting results from this #i’ve been fascinated with THC and how it impacts mental health #cuz it’s normally associated with making it worse #but it’s literally saved my life #curious to see if having DID is what allows me to benefit more #but yeah no syscourse you’ll be blocked on sight #pluralgang #plurality #multiplicity #systems #did #osdd #actually dissociative #actually plural #polls #tw drug mention #plural polls

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heartnosekid · 5 months

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hey friends, i wanted to share some things that are going on in my life right now. mostly for possible support, since it is really difficult going through this right now and i wonder if any of y’all have been through the same.

in july, i had three psychogenic non epileptic seizures (PNES) which required me to go to the hospital. they were caused by extreme nervous system stress, i.e. ptsd and panic attacks combined with the fact i was trying to self medicate with cbd and delta 8. super scary, never experienced a fear and strangeness like that before.

since then, i have had like. no full seizures but instances where i felt like i did before the onset of having the three in july.

i am now coming off cymbalta, the second SNRI i have had to come off in the last three years. i am experiencing pretty intense withdrawals and i was wondering if anyone else has had experience with cymbalta withdrawal as well and if anyone could tell me what their experience was like.

essentially my withdrawal symptoms are feeling similar to how the onset of the PNE seizures felt, and i am kind of just. i guess super scared. i have a support system IRL, but regardless of that, whenever i have these symptoms, i feel so alone and isolated. not necessarily in a lonely way, but in the way that i feel the extremest thing is going to happen and no one will be able to help me, if you know what i mean.

so yeah. i’m sorry to vent here, health problems have really been kicking my hind-end in recent years and now the seizures and withdrawals on top of it has really made things more complicated. and i wanted to know if anyone else has any similar experiences, because if someone has shared my experience, it will somehow calm me down. i will be responding to all comments left on this post btw.

as always, i love you all. very very much. if i miss any trigger tags on this post, please let me know and i will fix it accordingly.

- ish 💕

#ish talks #mental health #medication tw #withdrawal symptoms #PNES #cymbalta #drug ment tw #health problems

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foxglovefaun · 5 months

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goin thru some stuff but we're gettin better at askin for help

#it's been A Time #tw drugs #my art #mental health #mental health comic #vent art

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voidic3ntity · 10 days

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each day I spend with you makes me realize the world isn't bad:

not as bad as I was taught, not as bad as I thought; am I healing?

every moment with you brings such inner peace & inner safety.

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artofkhaos404 · 7 months

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In life, I believe we are all just addicts struggling with our drug of choice.

For some, it may be actual drugs. Meth, cocaine, heroine, marijuana... whatever suits them. For others it is alcohol or cigarettes or other tobacco products.

It may be pornography. Or self harm.

I have wrestled with my drug of choice for about four years. Indulging daily or weekly. I'm accustomed to counting wins by the day.

...

Tomorrow, I'm going out with some friends to celebrate two months clean. Eventually I may relapse back into my old habits, but that's not the point. The point is proving to myself that I am able. Recovery is possible.

I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO MY DRUG.

And I'll encourage you to adopt the same mantra. These addictions and this society that fuels them? It can't hold us. We are free.

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lifewaster-imdanger98 · 7 months

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I am probably doing worse than ever before. My mind is severely ill and my drug consume has absolutely gotten out of hand

Strangely enough, I look better than ever before, which is nice I guess

#mentally exhausted #i hate it here #sorry for being depressing #i cant do this #i’m tired #sad thoughts #tw depressing thoughts #tw self loathing #self destruction #tw self destructive behavior #addiction #tw drugs #mentally unstable #mental illness #mental health #actually mentally ill #mentally fucked

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hannahssimblr · 3 months

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“Jude,” minutes before the bell rings for the end of lunch, Evan calls me over to him as I pass him, lurking by his locker as he so often is.

“Yeah?”

“You know Alison Littler, right?”

I saunter over to him, intrigued, and lean against the locker next to his, “Yeah? Why?”

“Do you know where she is?”

“No. Is there a reason I should know?”

“Are you not, like, fucking each other or something?”

I laugh awkwardly, because he doesn’t have to say it like that, and so loudly that at least three passers by heard him. “I dunno, I haven’t seen her since this morning, but we have maths together in an hour. Why?”

“She was supposed to meet me here, that's all, I’ve been waiting for the whole break for her.”

I find this amusing, “How do you know Alison Littler, Evan?”

“Oh, well, you know… everyone knows her.”

“Yeah but I didn’t realise you were on hanging out terms with her. Since when?”

“We’re not,” he says, “and if we were, so what? Would you be jealous?”

“No, I’m just a bit curious about what’s happening here.”

“Is Alison’s business your business?”

I grin, “No, but I’m nosy.”

He gives in reluctantly, “I have something for her. I said I’d give it to her, and she hasn’t turned up. That’s all.”

I shrug, “Okay well, I don’t know what happened, sorry. Can I pass on a message?”

He chews on his lip, “I’d text her again but maybe her phone is dead. If you see her later will you tell her you saw me? Let her know I’ll be here after school until about a quarter past four.”

“Yeah, sure,” I pull back to lightly punch his arm but it makes him flinch and then I feel like I should apologise for frightening him. He’s a bit skittish, and these typical, aggressive boy things I’ve become accustomed to doing likely won't to go over well. “Uh, sorry about-” I say, and my words are clipped short by the abrupt wail of the bell through the narrow hallway. I turn to head toward German class, “Um, so Alison, yeah, I’ll tell her. Quarter past four.”

“Thanks,” He says, and slings his bag over his shoulder as he walks the other way.

Later, Alison is missing from maths, and now I am distracted by her absence. My eyes keep drifting toward her empty desk, where she is usually perched right in front me, hair draped over the back of her chair and wafting vanilla scented shampoo my way. From where she sits she is right within range for my flirtatious torment, for me to kick the legs of her chair while she tries to draw straight lines with her ruler or poke her with a pen when she’s trying to ask a question, but not today. She’s gone, and I have this strange, niggling feeling that something isn’t quite right.

I smuggle my phone out of my pocket and text her under the desk.

You go home sick today?

“Jude, phone please,” The teacher says, because she’s the type that watches me all class long for even a hint of wrongdoing. She barely lets me away with anything, so usually I have to act out when her back is turned or when she’s gone to the toilet or something. She stands in front of me now and snaps her fingers at me like I’m some kind of unruly feral dog, so I hand my phone over without protest and let her store it in her drawer until we’ve completed our calculus lesson.

I spend the rest of the class wondering if Alison has texted back.

“Hey,” before the last class of the day I block Tara Neary’s access to her locker with my body and note the look of utter delight on her face. It is because I am giving her attention, and I’m not blind to the effect I seem to have on these girls. It’s because I’m tall, I think, but so often they shrink back timidly like Tara and gaze up at me through lashes, trembling nervously at their own imaginings of the things they want me to do to them. Her expression quickly turns to crushing disappointment the moment I start quizzing her about Alison.

“She’s in some of your classes, right?”

“Um, yeah but I don’t know her that well or anything.”

“Really? I thought you hung out.”

“Sometimes,” Tara says reluctantly as she nudges me out of the way to swap the books in her bag with those in her locker, “But I don’t know where she is. She was in chemistry this morning, and she wasn’t in Irish this afternoon,” A shrug, “sorry, I don’t know anything else. She probably had her period and went home or something.” Tara glances at me with some measure of optimism, as though this revelation that Alison does in fact, get a period may have frightened and disgusted me enough to put me off her, but she can try that one with lesser boys. I’ve been so inundated by girls and women my whole life, platonically, familially and romantically that periods of all things do not shock me. There are far scarier things about women.

“Okay, thanks, well, if you see her tell her I was asking for her.”

“I will.”

She won’t.

Evan is standing forlornly by his locker at the end of the day, and as I pass him I give him the nod. “No sign?”

“No, I suppose she went home sick.”

“Yeah, I’d say so. See you tomorrow, Evan.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Out by the gates in the hazy light that girl I used to know is there again. She sees me and waves, and this time I cannot pretend that I haven’t seen her back, so I wave too, and there is nowhere to go but past her, so I approach her.

“What are you doing here?” I say, and I had hoped that my words would come out sounding a bit less accusatory but it’s difficult.

Leah smiles and wraps her arms around herself to shield from the cold. She’s wearing a coat, but it isn’t thick enough to protect her from this cold snap. “I’m just waiting for someone.”

“A sibling?”

“No.”

I peer at her, wishing I didn’t feel so guarded and suspicious, but my body reacts to her long before I do. Always. “Do you ever think it’s weird that you’re nineteen and you’re still hanging around your old secondary school?”

She scoffs, and I shrug, “Just wondering, like.”

She fixes her face so that it is soft despite my offensive remarks, nostalgic, affectionate, even, the one she always makes when she looks at me and it annoys me. “Just an acquaintance is all, I said I’d be here at the gates.”

“Right.”

“How’s your friend Jen?”

“She’s doing fine.”

“Oh, that’s good. She was such a nice girl.”

“Yeah, she is,” I almost turn to go before I spin back to her “She’s actually doing really well. She’s sorting everything out and she’s happy.” I’m not sure where this sudden burst of childish venom came from, or whether it’s really true that Jen is sorting things out or if she’s expressly happy, but I say it anyway in defence so that I can prove that she hasn’t turned out the way that many people expected her to.

“Did you hear Pete was put in a psych unit?”

I falter, “Pete Lee?”

She nods, “He went crazy, apparently, and his dad had to wrestle a knife out of his hand.”

I remember Pete Lee. He was a quiet, but nice guy. A little weird, sure, but relatively harmless. He liked dance music and always wore these really bright, neon coloured runners. I used to talk to him about games we both played on the playstation and he taught me how to huff deodorant fumes until I felt like I was floating through time and space above the little dingy park where we used to hang out. We were thirteen. Now we are seventeen and Pete Lee is in a psychiatric facility, which makes him the second boy from that small group of peers to have a psychotic break.

I want to say that Pete didn’t deserve this, that if we’d all been more careful back then with the things we used and the things we developed a taste for then all this wouldn’t have had to happen. But we were barely teenagers, we didn’t really know what we were getting into, someone else should have known better, like Leah, maybe. She was there. She should have warned us that solvent abuse turns to substance abuse so easily that you don’t really see it happening, but I know that it is too much to expect from her, so I don’t say this.

Or anything else aside from, “Oh, that’s really sad.”

She sighs unhappily, “Yeah, that’s how it goes sometimes.”

“I suppose,” I reply, and begin walking away from her.

“Will you tell Jen I was asking about her?” She calls after me, and I don’t turn around.

“Yeah,” I say, though she probably already knows I'm lying.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #the reveal #it's leah #but where is Alison?#this storyline is stressing me out #but necessary i guess #tw: mental health #tw: violence mention #tw: drugs #tw: solvent abuse

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ashthenerdtheythem · 2 months

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Stop being judgemental towards addicts

"Addiction is a choice, you're fucking up your body"

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

When someone is addicted to elicit substances, you stop treating them like humans, when they overdose, you tell them that it's their own fault

But would you say that to me. I have a caffeine addiction. Last October I was drinking a litre and a half MINIMUM of black coffee before 1 o'clock in the day. That shit was so strong that people could smell it when I opened my bottle from across the room. I literally smelled like coffee. I went into withdrawal several times, and I was in agony and a complete and utter bitch, I cannot function without it, I have come close to caffeine overdoses many times because I would drink maybe x2 the recommend max in a day.

But you wouldn't judge me, it's just coffee, you wouldn't judge me, it's just caffeine tablets.

So why would you judge other people just because their addiction is different

#addiction #alcohol #tw drugs #mental illness #mental health #actually mentally ill #Stop cluster b stigma #stop the stigma #stop being an asshole

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