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flythesail · 10 months

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Do we think there is a reason Bess is acting so gung ho about tristan like there has to be because it's insane for her to be doing things like this? Isn't Ace supposedly her best friend, she seems so happy about the prospect of nancy moving on and I would think it was fine if she was doing the same thing for ace but it's crickets. I love this show but I think Ace has suffered a lot this season from having his only SL be about nace and it sucks as someone who loves him...

Hey! There's two ways I view what's going on with Bess.

1. I think it's important to look at what's going on from the pov of the characters. Bess was there when Nancy nearly died. So she went through everything Ace did in nearly losing Nancy that day. She's also in a tricky spot, as she is close with Nancy and Ace. First and foremost: she wants her friends to be happy. Which, they are currently not.

Ace has made the decision to not curse break. So Bess is going to respect that decision.

If she's respecting that decision, that is where you get Bess encouraging Nancy to move on. Now, does it have to be right away? No. It is fast for Bess to encourage Nancy to date again. But considering circumstances, I don't think it's odd for her to want Nancy to move on. In 4x06, Nancy did share good moments with Tristan, where we saw her smiling. It was a break from the pain of the curse, if only for a moment. This is what Bess wants for Nancy. To be happy.

Is a relationship the only way to get over a "breakup" and be happy? Again, no. But that's the direction Bess has taken. She's also maybe 19 years old at most if that at all explains this process of thinking lol.

Point being though, I wouldn't put Bess's support of Tristan as her giving up on nace and the importance of that relationship. It's just an all around horrible situation. If Nancy and Ace act on their feelings, Ace dies. If they try to break the curse, Ace or Nancy could die. Her interest in Tristan for Nancy is more or less the safest option as a third party observer to the mess nace currently is. And who knows, maybe she's still working on curse breaking quietly.

2. My other way of viewing this is MUCH simpler lol. Simply put, there's not enough time. This season is 13 episodes, the cast is 5-7 main characters at any time, and there's a lot of ground to cover. If there was more time, they could throw in a conversation where Bess explains why she thinks Nancy should give Tristan a chance and how this doesn’t devalue the importance of her relationship with Ace. Or maybe, a conversation with Ace and Bess where he could have told her he no longer wants to try curse breaking. In some regard, I also wouldn't be surprised if Bess is the one to support Tristan just to keep things moving. There's a limited amount of time to introduce him and establish a relationship of any form between him and Nancy. So having Bess point him out is a way to speed that along and make time for other things. Yet, even if Bess's support of Tristan is influenced by the amount of time available, I don't think it's entirely ooc. It could just use more time that we don't have.

Switching to address Ace: YES. I agree he has suffered a lot this season. 😭 I'm really hoping the nace storyline starts to shift very soon as we get closer to curse breaking. Regardless of when the curse is broken, I'd love to see them in a better place before that.

However, with Ace’s storyline this season being about nace, I don't think his storyline is only about nace.

It's also about him and the journey he has been on the entire show.

From the start, Ace was someone with self-esteem issues. That improves when he finds his purpose with the crew and working with Nancy. Yet that does section off into other things: whether he feels worthy of Nancy and still, what he's worthy of in general.

4x06 addressed how much Ace bases his worth on what he can do for Nancy. What I think this is leading toward then, is a realization that what Ace wants is just as important. He deserves to want things and not just go by what everyone else wants. He's worthy of a relationship with Nancy, and she loves him because of who he is. It's more than loving him because he does all these things for her, even if it's nice of him to do those things.

This in turn, becomes Ace fighting for his relationship with Nancy. By doing so, he's also fighting for himself. (Granted, his fear of losing Nancy in order to break the curse will still need to be addressed. But the risk of losing her is there whether they attempt to break it again or not.)

And so, while Ace's last storyline is nace-focused, it is also Ace-focused in what could bring his character to a very nice conclusion. When we first met Ace, he was the dishwasher who "puts up the slacker front." He's smarter than he lets on, and that's intentional on his part. He doesn't know what he wants, who he wants to be, and he doesn't think much of himself at all.

By the end of the show, he'll have found a group of people who he feels confident to be himself around. He'll have found a career at the morgue he's passionate about, a purpose. He'll feel worthy of wanting things and of his relationship with Nancy.

Overall, Ace's story is about the shift from letting life pass you by to acknowledging you deserve to live it.

#nace #nancy drew cw #nancy drew #nancy drew spoilers #flytheask

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gch1995 · 3 years

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I’m 25 going on 26 now, and I grew up loving the classic Powerpuff Girls cartoon series when I was a kid. Even now when I rewatch it as an adult, it’s still a cute and funny cartoon, especially now that I’m old enough to recognize all of the adult jokes. Like, there’s no way it was a coincidence that Professor Utonium’s despicably dishonest, greedy, lazy, manipulative, selfish, and sleazy former roommate from college was given the name Professor Dick Hardly by accident.

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup actually are pretty relatable little girls who have believable flaws and insecurities. They make believable bad choices for little girls. Those issues actually get dealt with seriously, rather than just being brushed aside as no big deal with no negative consequences. They are still endearing and sympathetic in spite of their flaws.

While he had a few OOC moments of bad parenting in some bad episodes here and there, generally speaking, Professor Utonium from the classic Powerpuff Girls is actually one of the best dads in cartoons that I’ve ever seen, which is sadly pretty rare in most cartoon sitcoms, even the ones that are actually aimed at a children audience.

Most cartoon dads are abusive, lazy, neglectful, selfish, and stupid oafs. Granted, those type of dads in cartoon sitcoms can actually be entertaining and funny to watch when they are actually being well-written as shitty and slow-witted, but still essentially well-meaning people in regards to their families, such as S1-S8 Homer Simpson from The Simpsons and even S1-S3 Peter Griffin from Family Guy. However, the entertainment quality of those shitty, but well-meaning cartoon dads was mostly lost when the writers flanderdized their negative traits to the point of making Homer and especially Peter downright despicable with little to no redeeming or sympathetic qualities much of the time anymore. They went from being shitty, but essentially well-meaning parents and husbands to downright bratty and spoiled man-children who were much more intentionally abusive, childish, cruel, neglectful, petty, and selfish in regards to their families and others around them with little to no sympathetic or redeeming qualities much of the time anymore, and that’s one of the biggest reasons why The Simpsons went downhill in quality after S8, and why Family Guy went downhill in quality after S3.

Nonetheless, even as they were originally written on their shows pre-flanderdization when they were still well-meaning, but misguided parents and spouses, cartoon dads like Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin, weren’t good dads on the whole. There were still plenty of recurring plot lines and/or gags of them being abusive, lazy, neglectful, reckless, and selfish. Back in early seasons pre-flanderdization, it was more forgivable, though, because they also still had their fair share of kind and selfless moments with their families, and their shittiness as parents wasn’t intentionally abusive, malicious, premeditated, and selfish in nature, which balanced them out enough to still be entertaining and likable characters in spite of their flaws.

Realistically speaking, though, dads like Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson would be better off having their kids taken away from them by CPS. Their good qualities and lack of malicious intent, particularly in earlier seasons pre-flanderdization, would still not hold up as legitimate excuse as to why they should be allowed to keep their kids. Bart would have bruises all over his neck, fractures in his neck, and he could possibly be killed if Homer strangled him hard enough to actually break his neck and/or cut off his air supply long enough in real life just once. Meg, Chris, and even Stewie would not only be injured, but actually outright killed in real life from some of the abuse and neglect that Peter and Lois put them through in later seasons of FG. All of these kids, especially Meg, would have serious self-esteem issues for the rest of their lives because Peter, Lois’, and Homer’s abuse and neglect of their kids went beyond just a pattern of being physical in nature, but emotionally and verbally abusive as well.

So yeah, Peter Griffin and Homer Simpson are really not good fathers who you’d ever want to deal with for a parent in real life, even pre-flanderdization. The major reoccurrence of the abusive, bumbling, idiotic, lazy, drunken, neglectful, and selfish dad trope in cartoon sitcoms is exactly why I really love Professor Utonium from the classic PPG cartoon. I don’t necessarily mind it in absurdist cartoon sitcoms when it’s done well as a trope, but I’m also getting tired of mostly just seeing bad and stupid dads in cartoon sitcoms, and not enough good ones.

For the most part, the OG Professor Utonium is a great dad who goes above and beyond to make sure Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup are happy, healthy, disciplined, and safe. He’s usually the parent most of us wish we could have in real life, if we don’t already. It’s refreshing to actually see a good dad in an animated sitcom for once.

Professor Utonium in the classic PPG cartoon is generally a very kind, loving, selfless, and supportive dad to girls. However, he also knows when he has to discipline them and be strict without ever being mean about it. He gives them good advice. He’s very selfless, and even though the girls are superheroes with superhuman abilities, he’ll still risk and/or sacrifice anything to protect them when they’re unable to protect themselves with their powers, including his own life. He didn’t need to be the stereotypical cartoon sitcom abusive, bumbling, dumb, and neglectful dad in order to be funny either. He was funny because he could sometimes be overprotective of the girls, and he could sometimes embarrass them by calling them sickly sweet terms of endearment and telling embarrassing stories that he shouldn’t have about them in public. He was socially awkward. These are relatable flaws in parents that even the best ones have.

While the girls don’t have a mother, Ms. Bellum and Ms. Keane were very brave, kind, and intelligent strong women who were good role models.

Also, the Professor did many activities with the girls and chores around the house that get gender-coded as “mother’s work.” Some of these things include begrudgingly playing dress up as Bubbles to make her happy when she was playing PowerPuff Girls with Buttercup and Blossom on a rainy day inside of no crime when he saw that she was upset that no one wanted to be her, cooking, cleaning, and actually sitting down to talk with the girls, listen to them, emotionally support them, and give them advice. He’s also not afraid to be openly affectionate, doting, and emotional with the girls. There’s just not enough good dads in cartoon sitcoms, which is why I really like Professor Utonium from the OG PowerPuff Girls cartoon and movie. He mostly defied all the bad dad stereotypes, and was a really great one to the girls more often than not.

The main villains from the classic PowerPuff Girls cartoon are incredibly entertaining, especially MoJo JoJo. Him was always the creepiest to me because he was the most devious, insidious, and manipulative one. All of the psychological abuse and manipulation he put the girls and Townsville through was always the scariest to me when I was a kid because out of all the villains on the show, the torment that he wreaked upon the girls and Townsville by brainwashing them, gaslighting them, and/or exploiting their fears and insecurities often was played as dead serious with really scary results, especially in early seasons of classic PPG. While Him had a few human moments here and there, for the most part, he was pretty consistently played off as being seriously scary and dangerous.

MoJo JoJo was an egomaniacal asshole hellbent on destroying the PowerPuff Girls and world domination, and on a few occasions, he actually came close to succeeding. On a few occasions, he genuinely was more scary than camp evil. But he still had a lot of humorous, human, fallible, and relatable moments, too. My favorite MoJo moments are the ones where he is making jokes, irritably going grocery shopping to get eggs, getting too frustrated by the girls antics and childish behaviors and reactions to actually go through with his plans to destroy them at certain points, and getting angry and jealous enough to actually destroy the alien/robot invader from another planet who was destroying Townsville in all the evil ways that he always wanted to himself. He was highly intelligent at coming up with clever schemes and inventions with all his science and technology to take over the world, destroy Townsville, and/or destroy the PowerPuff Girls. However, his arrogance, impatience, and impulsivity always doomed him to fail to succeed in the end, though he did come pretty close on a few occasions, especially in the 2002 prequel origin story movie, and he did actually get to rule the world in “The PowerPuff Girls Rule the World!” Surprisingly, he actually was a kindhearted ruler who did good things, but then he gave it all up and went back to being evil because he got bored.

Originally, MoJo was a well-intentioned extremist who wanted to create a utopia ruled by primates where they would never be controlled or rejected by humans again. As much as Professor Utonium’s irritation with JoJo for being a destructive chimp lab assistant was completely justified, it’s also hard not to feel kind of sorry for Mojo Jojo and understand where he’s coming from in his motivations to become evil, particularly in the 2002 prequel movie because originally all he really wanted was to be loved by his owner, too. He understandably felt rejected when Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup became the center of his universe instead. Of course, that doesn’t excuse him for choosing to respond to the Professor’s rejection by becoming an arrogant, evil, cruel, hateful, hypocritical, domineering, manipulative, petty, selfish, and vengeful villain going on a quest for world domination, attempting to commit homicide several times, probably committing voluntary manslaughter of citizens several times that we didn’t see on screen when destroying Townsville all those times, turning the rest of the world into dogs to try to take over the world, and trying to destroy the girls. However, you understand why Mojo became the villain he did with his backstory. He’s relatable. Occasionally, he does have some genuinely sympathetic moments where he’s actually willing to be friendly with the girls, team up with them, and do the right thing.

HIM was just the personification of evil for no other reason than the fact that he was satan. While MoJo was a complex, human, and relatable anti-villain with his origin story as the Professor’s lab chimp, who gained genius-level human intellect from having Chemical X splashed on his brain, and then chose to become evil after feeling rejected by the Professor when he saw how he pretty much forget about him once the girls became the center of his universe instead, HIM was evil, manipulative, and hateful for no other reason than the fact that those traits were a part of his nature as the very embodiment of evil. Many times, a fictional villain being portrayed as one-dimensional with no sympathetic qualities or relatable motivations will annoy me, but with HIM being evil just because that’s who he is, it actually works because he is literally Satan. There doesn’t need to be a deeper sympathetic story behind why he is evil. Committing crimes, wreaking havoc, corrupting people, manipulating people, turning people against others, exploiting the fears of others, and deceiving others for his own amusement is just who he is, and in the early seasons of classic PPG in particular, that made him really scary to me when I was a six year old little girl watching the cartoon on TV.

You get the idea...The classic PowerPuff Girls was a fantastic cartoon, particularly the first four seasons. Granted, there was some series seasonal rot going on in the writing in S5 and S6 after the 2002 prequel movie, and Craig Mcracken and Gennedy Tartakovsky’s departure from the crew. Like, the characterizations of the characters and/or storylines in S5 and S6 felt comparably flanderdized, ooc, immature, inconsistent, pointless, shallow, and underwhelming at certain times to fit the plot, such as in the episodes “Keen on Keane,” “Pee Pee G’s,” “Seed No Evil,” “Reeking Havoc,” “Toast of the Town,” “Say Uncle,” “City of Clipsville,” “”Bubble Boy,” A Made Up Story,” “Mo’linguish,” and “Simian Says.” Even the good episodes of S5-S6 still didn’t ever reach the same level of greatness of the ones from S1-S4. However, the seasonal rot in the classic PPG cartoon of S5-S6 after Craig McCracken and Gennedy Tartakovsky’s departure still wasn’t nearly as bad as the seasonal rot on The Simpsons after S8, Family Guy after S3, and SpongeBob SquarePants post S3–S4 ish, so I’m still willing to consider most of S5-S6 of classic PPG legit canon.

However, it sounds like the 2016 PPG reboot fucked up everything that was originally good about it to go for a more slapstick comedic feel without substance without consistency, depth, and intelligence. Now, I hear that the CW is making a live-action TV show spin-off of the PowerPuff Girls being jaded and resentful young women who’ve given up crime fighting as result! No, no, no! Why? Why does the CW keep making dark, nitty, and gritty live action teen soap operas out of beloved childhood cartoons?

Yeah, the original PowerPuff Girls cartoon and movie had dark moments. The girls could be bratty and make bad choices sometimes. However, it was still very much a fun show about normal little girls born with superpowers, which they chose to use to defend their father, their city, and on some occasions, the whole world, from crime. No one ultimately forced them to be superheroes for everyone in the classic PPG cartoon and movie. They chose to do it because they had brave and selfless hearts. There was ultimately no obligation for them to be superheroes in the classic PPG cartoon and movie. Sure, they got tired of fighting crime at times, but they still ultimately enjoyed doing it when push came to shove. They weren’t weighed down by the darkness of the world, hatred, and resentment. They still were relatively normal little girls with happy, peaceful, and normal lives of little girls whenever they weren’t fighting crime after the events of the prequel movie about their origins. That’s what made the PowerPuff Girls classic cartoon so special.

By turning Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup into jaded young women, who have given up on being superheroes because they’ve grown resentful of “losing the normal childhood to crime fighting” that they basically are shown to have in the original series for the most part in their spare time aside from having superpowers that they chose to use to fight crime to defend their dad and Townsville from, anyway, where is the fun in that?

#ppg classic #ppg #PowerPuff girls classic was an amazing cartoon!#there was some seasonal rot bad writing in classic PPG after S4 and Craig McCracken and Gennedy Tartovsky’s departure from the show #also looking back at even some of the early seasons of classic PPG Buttercup tended to get treated as a butt-monkey in her few centric Ed #but the seasonal rot moments of bad writing in S5-S6 of classic PPG wasn’t THAT bad so for the most part I’m willing to give it a pass #mojo jojo #him #professor utonium #blossom utonium #bubbles utonium #buttercup utonium #sara bellum #mayor #ms. keane #anti the cw live action PowerPuff girls!#is nothing from the childhoods of those of us who grew up in the early to mid 2000s sacred anymore?#what’s next a CW live action spin off of SpongeBob Squarepants in which SpongeBob works as a drug dealer for mob boss Mr. Krabs?#a CW live action spin off of Johnny Bravo where fool JD is actually rewarded for hitting on women who are strangers?#a cw live action reboot of dexter’s laboratory in which dexter grows up to run a crystal meth lab?#a CW live action spin-off of Courage the Cowardly Dog in which Muriel is a terrible pet owner too?#a CW live action of Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends in which Mac is diagnosed as a schizophrenic who hallucinated in the OG series?#omg! just let these beloved cartoons RIP please!#Come up with something new! Stop ruining good cartoons from the past by reviving them into something they were never meant to be!

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ramblingguy54 · 3 years

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Edalyn Clawthorne: A Loner Created Through Tragedy

Seeing what happened to Edalyn’s father in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door greatly explains why she looked so saddened by Lilith talking about hanging around their dad more by Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances conclusion. She harbors a lot of guilt in scratching his face up badly from years ago. After an incident like that for someone around an age that young in their life definitely contributed to Eda’s resolve of keeping herself away from others not just solely because of her own ideals about magic and how to properly use it, but also to prevent more people from getting badly hurt because of the owl curse, too. It’s sad to look back on what Lilith said to her mother, “Mom, I heard you, but I couldn’t stop myself.”, because that’s exactly what Eda went through when she attacked her dad.

No matter what her father could’ve said it wouldn’t have reached Edalyn, due to not having much experience with controlling the curse at that time. The amount of guilt running through Edalyn’s mind after coming back to her senses must’ve been unbearable as Hell. It’s already bad enough when hurting random people under a nasty spell, but to injure someone who helped bring you into the world? Anyone would want to put a large gap between themselves after such an awful experience of this magnitude. Season 2 of The Owl House has been doing a lot of great things in its story, such as showing more of Eda’s vulnerability being the point of my post I’d like to delve more into about.

Eda’s development of opening up emotionally more in Season 1 was certainly good, however we didn’t get a real look into what makes Edalyn who she is as a whole. Season 2 has been allowing more in-depth exploration about why she guards herself as frequently as possible from others. It isn’t a matter of, “I like being a loner, who lives by their own rules about how our world operates.”, rather it centers around, “I’m a bad influence and don’t want to hurt others I care deeply about, or even possibly could grow to, because of my cursed affliction.”. Gwendolyn stating her curse was something that should be cut it out if need be certainly didn’t help in contributing to Eda’s loner nature she develop onward. These moments made her feel ashamed as if she didn’t deserve to be apart something greater like a family, having friends, or finding her own respective lover to boot.

Eda’s long amount of solitude made her into a more powerfully independent and capable person, magically speaking, but it came at a serious cost of something important, one’s own self-esteem. The curse stunted Eda’s emotional growth for a very long while in having to take up the mantle of being unable to face her fears head on. Even in spite of her lesson to Raine about not running away from your own demons, the saying of practice what you preach rang unfortunately true here. Edalyn has been a very closed off person for so many years, where the idea of having to present yourself to someone else, warts and all, scared this witch away into living in seclusion at her Owl House. Despite gaining a family eventually through Luz & King, Eda never told them about her curse until it happened, wasn’t big on showing affection, and struggled with teaching Luz consistently in a good chunk of Season 1.

Eda’s biggest challenge to overcome has been actually letting people into her life which costed her a healthy social lifestyle, became distant toward the Clawthorne family tree, and resulted in Raine calling off their romantic relationship. They were tired of Eda’s distant attitude in not being able to commit emotionally with expressing more of her compassion, vulnerability, or love either. This is something problematic Eda’s Requiem did explore too when King wanted to speak with Eda, yet she kept on either changing the subject last second, or made up a convenient excuse to hold off on discussing this matter. Edalyn was afraid of change because she had finally become used to King being around for so long. Knowing Luz would have to leave inevitably hurt already, so now finding out King possibly wanted to go find his actual father and stay there with him instead scared Eda outta her mind in facing a reality without the both of them.

Change is a word for Eda that’s a thing she never wants to hear. It’s why she makes the decisions that went on to define her serious solitude. Eda is used to being alone without having to rely on much of anyone else, but that doesn’t mean she obviously has enjoyed it, either. Edalyn only lived in seclusion because she thought it was necessary for safety reasons not outta love for a hermit lifestyle. The tragedy of Eda’s personal background is she allowed this curse to rule over her life for those three decades. Now, to be fair, Gwendolyn contributed to Eda’s baggage with viewing her curse as a disgusting attribute does indeed share the blame here in these events, but regardless Edalyn made unwise decisions she clearly regrets. The biggest ones being not letting anyone, as seen with Raine, get closer to her and avoiding changes to a status quo in Eda’s complicated life. What happened to Eda’s dad was obviously not her fault whatsoever, as it was entirely out of her control. However, Eda’s choice to live in seclusion away from many, make things impossible for a healthy honest relationship work with Raine, and running away from King’s possible separation in Requiem’s story paints a different picture on Eda’s loner nature.

Eda may try to carry herself as this loner with a sassy attitude, but it’s all just a facade to mask deeper issues of self-esteem, loneliness, and regrets. I find it so beautiful in how she didn’t want Luz running away from her feelings to Amity because she didn’t want her to make the same mistake, like what happened with Raine. Eda let her fear of commitment get to herself and it caused nothing but a mountain of regrets, so she’s correcting this flawed mindset through helping Luz & Amity’s romance. Like, real talk, the way Owl House has explored LGBTQ+ has been simply excellent in building organic romances with Luz/Amity & Eda/Raine, but still giving important development to their characters in making sure their sexuality isn’t the only defining trait they have. That’s been like a pet peeve of mine when incorporating representation for this community of people. I’m all for seeing this kind of equality in fictional entertainment, but don’t make this the only thing that defines their characterization as a whole and Owl House totally understands this about using LGBTQ+ related content.

Season 2 of Owl House has been greatly expanding upon Eda’s emotional dilemmas around her curse, which I love as it deepens this character’s motivations on bettering herself. Edalyn has become a super relatable mentor figure in these recent episodes taking time to showcase the complexities of Clawthorne’s family dynamic being shaken by Eda’s curse and how she finally comes to term with it here in Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door. Rather than viewing it as a monster to be afraid of, Eda is viewing this creature as another living thing deserving to be treated as an equal and not a threat thanks to the help of those elixirs she drinks on a daily basis. I thought Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door would be a serious comedic breather, but instead it gave us more insight on this cast of main protagonists. Edalyn’s backstory revelations were such an amazing surprise, as I didn’t think we’d be getting to see her father this soon and what caused a big rift between the two, as well.

Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty’s Door exceeded my expectations in more ways than one. Season 2 of The Owl House has been continuing to impress me.

#edalyn clawthorne #toh season 2 spoilers #toh season 2 #eda clawthorne #the owl house #the owl house season 2 #knock knock knockin' on hooty's door

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extratragic · 4 years

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put the pieces back together

pairing: JJ Maybank x reader

warning: depression & all that good stuff that comes with it. (promise it’s really just soft JJ)

word count: 2057

(found the gif @rudypankows )

request: Could you do a scenario where the reader breaks up with jj bc she doesn’t want him to deal with her problems (depression,Anxiety, low-self esteem anger issues) and when jj finds out why she broke up with him he goes and comfort her if you will 👉🏽👈🏽🥺 angst to fluff 🤧❤️

summary: JJ is just the person to take care of the girl he loves

y/d/n = your dad’s name, y/m/n = your moms name, y/b/n = your brothers name

“I just... I can’t do this anymore, JJ. I’m not good for you.”

That was the last time that the group saw you for weeks.

You and JJ had been dating for six months at that point. Everything was going perfectly according to JJ, and everything was going perfectly until absolutely nothing was going perfect in your life.

It wasn’t a sudden switch like you’d had before, either.

You felt the way that you’d want to be home more often than going out with your friends. Even shopping felt like a drag, but you thought you could push past it this time. You didn’t wear your bikini anymore, though. You either wore a once piece or a swim shirt with shorts. Your body just looked... off when you put a bikini on, and your self-esteem couldn’t handle being around Kie while you felt like that.

You weren’t eating, either.

JJ was the first to notice that when you did come to The Wreck with them, you would steal fries from his plate but that’s it.

Depression kicked your ass when it wanted to, and when anxiety joined the party, you felt like you couldn’t be around anyone.

You were diagnosed with anxiety at eleven years old, and then depression at thirteen. You’d only known the Pogue’s for a year, and they only knew about your anxiety. Telling people about either diagnosis made you feel uncomfortable, but you knew that this group was insane and might just push your limits.

When JJ got a text from your mom three weeks after you broke up with him saying that she needed him, he yelled at John B to drive the HMS back to his house at that second. His leg was bouncing the entire ride and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Did something happen to you? Did something happen to your siblings? Your dad?

Kie tried to comfort him, but he didn’t listen to any of them. He was scared. He knew something was wrong with you and he didn’t tell anyone about it.

JJ was off of the boat and on his bike before anyone could say a word to him. Yeah, you broke up with him, but you were still his girl. He wouldn’t have a problem beating someone’s ass if they came near you, and he would always be there if you needed him. And right now, you need him.

He knocked on the front door and your dad opened it after a few seconds.

“We need to talk before you see her,” he said.

JJ nodded and walked into your family’s home, sitting on the couch with your parents.

“She told us that you know about her anxiety,” your dad started off. JJ nodded again and your dad took a deep breath before continuing. “She was diagnosed with depression a couple years after the anxiety. She’s on medications, but sometimes it’s too much for her to handle. Everything’s been okay since she became friends with you guys. But sometimes everything hits her at once and... this happens,” he sighed, running his hand over his face.

“Is it my fault?” JJ asked weakly.

He was so scared that he was the reason behind what was happening with you. Did he do something to set you off? Did he go too far in something?

“No! No, JJ. Sometimes her anxiety attacks are easier to figure out, but these... the depression episodes are hard for all of us, especially her. It could’ve been finals that started it, for all we know. The best thing that we’ve learned is that she needs someone she loves by her side,” Y/d/n said.

JJ took a deep breath and looked at the hallway that led to your room.

“She broke up with me,” he said quietly.

“We know. But we also know y/n, and we know that she loves you, JJ,” Y/m/n told him.

“Can I see her?” JJ asked.

They nodded and he stood up, walking down the hall and grabbing the door handle with a shaky hand. After collecting himself, he opened the door, relaxing just a little bit when he saw y/b/n sitting beside you. His heart broke when he saw you on the bed. Your comforter and his blanket were wrapped around you and you were laying on the bed, looking at nothing.

The fairy lights that you always - always- had on were off. Your clothes were in a pile by your desk. Your room was just a mess, and you were such a clean person that it shocked him.

“Can I...” JJ trailed off, looking at your brother.

He nodded and whispered something to you before getting up. When he stopped by JJ, he looked back at you and sighed.

“She’ll be okay. You just gotta remember that,” he told JJ.

JJ nodded shakily and your brother patted his shoulder before leaving.

“Hey, sweet girl,” JJ said softly, crouching down beside your bed.

You looked at him and he smiled softly, tucking your hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes and he kissed your forehead before laying down beside you. While JJ played with your hair, you barely moved from your spot. His phone chimed and he looked at the screen, seeing a text from your mom.

We’re going to get something to eat from the wreck. If you want something, you can just text it.

p.s, y/n hasn’t showered in almost a week. if you can get her up, that would be great for her

“Want something to eat, baby?” He asked quietly.

He barely heard the ‘no’ escape your lips, but he texted your mom to get your favorite order anyways. He loved it, and if you wouldn’t eat the main part, then maybe you’d eat the fries.

There were texts from John B, Kie, and Pope, but he’d just text them when you were asleep.

“You sleepy?” He asked.

You shook your head and he nodded, looking over your face carefully. He could tell from the dried streaks on your cheeks that you’d been crying, but your eyes held no emotion other than pure exhaustion. Your pretty pink lips were chapped and there was a small crack on your bottom lip. The eyebrows that you usually kept perfectly plucked were no longer in perfect condition, but he thought you still looked good. Even in what you thought was your worst, he still thought you were beautiful.

You were always beautiful in his eyes.

“When’s the last time you showered, sweet girl?” He asked.

You shrugged and he raised his eyebrows. “Dunno. A week?” You guessed.

Your voice was broken and raspy like you had barely used it over the last three weeks.

“Wanna shower? I can help,” he offered, running his fingers through your hair. It was a little greasy at the roots, but it didn’t bother him.

“You don’t have to take care of me. I broke up with you,” you muttered.

He scrunched up his nose and sighed, nodding. That one hurt just a bit.

“Yeah, true. But you’re always my girl. So, shower?” He asked.

Tears slowly filled your eyes and you nodded. “I’m sorry,” you choked out.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, baby. I know you’re hurting,” he told you.

He pulled you into his arms and kissed the top of your head, squeezing you tightly. You grabbed his hand and held it to your chest as your tears fell from your eyes and onto his chest.

The two of you eventually made it to your bathroom and he took his clothes off until he was in his boxers, then he helped you undress. For some reason, the people that owned the house before your family had a stool for the shower, but it came in handy now.

You sat on the stool with your back towards the showerhead with your forehead on JJ’s abdomen. He washed your hair for you, smiling softly at the smell wafting through the small bathroom. His favorite smell was your berry scented shampoo and conditioner.

When you first got it, you were always complaining about how you never got anything that smelled the way you thought it would. Once you washed your hair with that, he fell in love with it just as much as you did.

After washing your hair, he got down on his knees and helped you wash your body, kissing your cheeks as he went along. When he fished your arms, he kissed your right cheek. After your legs, he kissed your left cheek. He kept going until you told him you felt clean.

“Any other special pampering?” He asked, smiling softly.

“My face,” you answered.

He grabbed the small pink thing that he always saw you use and put the face wash on it, rubbing it into your skin. You smiled when he mumbled a ‘sorry’ when going near your eyes. It didn’t hurt, it just felt weird that someone else’s hand was this close when your eyes were closed.

“All done. Did we miss anything?” He asked.

You shook your head and he turned the water off, getting out of the shower. He took his soaked boxers off and wrapped one towel around his waist and wrapped the other towel around your body. It was fluffy, just as you liked it, and you snuggled against JJ after he wrapped you in the towel.

“What pajamas, baby?” He asked.

“I dunno. Let’s figure it out,” you told him.

He nodded and went back to your room, stopping in front of your closet. You picked out one of his shirts that he left there and slipped it on, moving away from JJ to wrap your towel around your head. You grabbed a pair of underwear and shorts, then climbed into bed.

“Your clothes are in the top drawer. Get dressed and cuddle,” you told him.

He laughed and did as you said, quickly getting dressed. When he got into bed beside you, he realized that the sheets were different than before.

“Hang on,” he said, quickly shooting up and going over to your vanity. He grabbed your moisturizer and walked back over to you, gently rubbing it into your skin.

“You hungry?” He asked when he finished.

You shook your head like you did before.

“Okay. Well, I am, and I asked your mom to get me something. I’ll be right back,” he told you.

“Okay,” you said quietly.

He kissed your forehead and went into the kitchen, seeing your parents and brother eating.

“You got her up?” Your dad asked.

“Showered and changed. She says she’s not hungry, but I figured that she might want some fries at least,” he told them.

Your mom smiled happily at him, sliding the to-go box across the table.

“Keep the crumbs off those sheets,” she playfully warned.

“Yes, ma’am,” he grinned, taking the box and plastic silverware and going back to your room.

When JJ came back into your room with your favorite meal from The Wreck, your heart melted. Food just didn’t sound good at all to you, but you knew that you had to eat something today. Usually it was your brother that got you to eat, but JJ was definitely better than him.

“J,” you said quietly.

He hummed, pulling the covers over his legs and putting an old towel over the comforter to keep the crumbs from getting on the sheets.

“Thank you,” you told him.

His blue eyes met your loving gaze and he leaned in slowly, waiting for your nod to kiss your lips softly.

“Anything for you, my sweet girl,” he said, pecking your lips again before digging into his dinner.

You smiled softly and laid your head on his shoulder, occasionally stealing a fry. He held up the fork to your mouth and you took the bite, making him grin. He was simply just happy with making small progress. You knew that this was far more than small progress and it made you feel even better.

JJ, the broken teenage boy, was able to keep you sane through your bad times. You, another broken teen, just happened to be one of the few people to help JJ through his bad times.

You put each others pieces back together, one at a time.

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everythingsinred · 3 years

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Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 20)

PART TWENTY! I've written thousands and thousands of words about this particular character's love. That's really crazy. And you guys read thousands and thousands of words! And we're not even done yet!

We will talk about the second half of this "gap arc", including one of my favorite chapters, and then the school will turn upside down, as we will see in the next part.

Chapter Ninety-Three

Mikan was so exhausted saving Narumi from Persona’s alice that she ended up hospitalized. Nobody else seems to know much of what really happened except Natsume, who spends so much time in the hospital these days that it would have been more surprising if he didn’t know she was there too.

Besides, Natsume knows so much about Mikan. He knows about her mom and that the ESP is interested in Mikan possibly possessing the stealing alice. He knows that she’s in danger. He’s vigilant, as I’ve said, and this vigilance means absorbing all possible information. He overhears Narumi warning Mikan to keep her new alice a secret, and Natsume gets confirmation that Mikan does indeed have the stealing alice, that Narumi knows and wants to protect Mikan too, and that this information could possibly get to the ESP if they’re not careful.

Dead man walking. Or rather... dead boy walking.

He walks away from her room, unseen, coughing. He walks down a hall of doctors and patients and nurses and he doesn’t stand out at all. Natsume’s presence in the hospital is so normal that nobody bats an eye anymore. Kaname is hospitalized for long stretches of time, as we shall continue to see, but Natsume merely goes to the hospital for limited periods of bed rest and for getting huge bags of medicine to take before bed so he doesn’t accidentally pass away in his sleep. Natsume might be in just as much need as Kaname for long periods of hospitalization, but he can’t for two reasons.

One, the school absolutely does not want that. They want their favorite child soldier to be always at the ready. He can’t be at their beck and call at all times if he’s cooped up in a hospital bed. He needs to be where they can grab him easily, and pumping him full of medicine and pretending that’s enough for him is the most they will do.

Two, Natsume absolutely does not want that. Mikan is in more danger than ever, and being sequestered in a hospital without seeing anyone leaves her alone and unprotected. How is he supposed to spy on the ESP and Persona for information on Mikan if he’s hospitalized? He needs to be free as a bird, just like they want him to be, so that he can be at Mikan’s beck and call. At the slightest threat, he will be there for her.

Later, when Bear follows Mikan around while Kaname is sicker than ever, Koko can discern that Bear wants Mikan to steal Kaname’s alice from inside of him. Many people are onlooking, and Natsume has a shocked expression, not because he didn’t know that Mikan has the stealing alice, but because he’s concerned for what consequences may come if more people find out. If the ESP comes to hear any of this, serious issues will arise. Things are already dangerous enough, but if the ESP finds out, then turmoil will come sooner than later.

This is an "Oh, shit" moment! How terrible.

Things get worse when the rumors about Mikan’s alice spread through the upper divisions. Mikan gets chased by upperclassmen who want her to steal their alices because they think their star rank will go up if they can catch her in the act. The ESP seems to have purposefully spread such a rumor in order to speed things along. He wants to push Mikan into a corner, perhaps force her into using her alice and exposing herself, so that he has an excuse to swoop in and take her into his custody.

We see a panel of Natsume hearing the news of the middle schoolers’ pursuit of Mikan and he’s just as shocked as before. Her life is endlessly hectic in the worst way. She is always under attack from rumors and speculation and being honest about her alice will only end poorly for her. This is the last glimpse we get of him this chapter, but his reactions, despite the fact that he says nothing this whole time, is enough to give hints to where his mind is right now. His priorities and concerns are all made clear, building up to when he will eventually be quite needed.

Chapter Ninety-Four

Class B is getting ready for swimming lessons in P.E. Most of the class, especially Mikan, are excited for this.

There’s not much Natsume in this chapter either, but we can see him on the poolside, obviously not well enough to swim. Swimming is one of the most physically taxing exercises because of how much it requires you to use your full body. Natsume can’t waste what little energy he has on P.E. when he has missions to do. Those are much more important.

Mikan may get occasionally down or sad about her alice and the uncomfortable state of things, but Ruka is there to cheer her up and play water polo with her. Natsume simply looks on.

Tsubasa spots him, and instantly looks troubled. He and Natsume are not just both in the DA class now, they’re also going on many of the same missions. He’s also the only one who knows the truth about Natsume’s alice shape, and how much the taxing missions affect his body. Seeing Natsume sit on the side and not join in with the others is not a good sign. He’s not doing well.

Fun and games are over! It was never gonna last long anyway!

The panel of everyone having fun while Natsume coughs by himself, isolated from everyone, brings to mind the page from Chapter Nine, so long ago. The last page of that chapter has Natsume being sent on a mission, in stark contrast to the final panel of the rest of the class having fun and bonding over dodgeball.

He could never join in for long was the message we got then, and it’s not any less true now. Natsume let himself get attached to Class B and to Mikan in particular but his fun happy times of joining in on the fun were never meant to last. He can’t play the sax anymore. He can’t run around with the rest of them. Luna was a warning to him as much as she was to Mikan. His time is running out and his life will always be too different from the rest of theirs. He will always be shrouded in darkness and an imminent death. They can take occasional breaks from the stress and worry of their lives, but he can’t. Not anymore. Not in any real way. Not without it taking a serious toll on his body.

The last page features two groups of best friends: Natsume and Ruka looking out the window at Hotaru and Mikan as they walk through the rain.

Bad things are going to happen. And that right soon.

There’s a feeling of foreboding in this arc. The last page carries some threat with it while also trying to stay on the side of hope. One should not take things for granted is the main take-away, a harsh lesson for these kids to learn, especially in this way.

These few chapters between the Sports Fest and the next arc are almost similar to the gap chapters between the Hana Hime den chapters and the Sports Fest. They are a much needed respite from the heavy chapters before and after. The difference is that these gap chapters are heavier and there’s a threat looming over Mikan and the others in each one. The happiness and lightness of the Valentine’s day chapter are not present, even in this sweet chapter about swimming. Everyone is unsettled and disturbed, aware that something horrible is to come.

Chapter Ninety-Five

And nothing good ever lasts, as this chapter reveals. The tension that has been building for so long is starting to reach a boiling point.

A lot will happen here. Hotaru gets called to the headquarters. Yuka returns to the Alice Academy campus to find Mikan. Tsubasa goes missing.

God, could they stop sending children to get blown up for FIVE MINUTES?!

Natsume and Tsubasa are separated during a nondescript mission. A warehouse explodes and Natsume screams out for Tsubasa, not knowing where he’s disappeared to, or if he’s even still alive.

Tsubasa is missing, his location unknown. Natsume has returned to campus from the mission, but he hasn’t been seen by anybody yet either. He’s busy trying to locate Tsubasa, trying to find information.

Natsume goes on missions all the time. He goes with other DA types and is frequently in life or death situations with them. That being said, he hates most of his classmates, Youichi being one exception. But Tsubasa is different. They have an unspoken respect for each other, and might even be considered friends. They spent a lot of time in the DA class on missions that we haven’t seen in the manga and their work to find--or rather not find--Yuka and protect Mikan has probably brought them closer.

Natsume wants to find Tsubasa because he’s so important to Mikan, because she loves him like a big brother and losing him would break her. He wants to find Tsubasa because Tsubasa is his friend too. If something happened to him on a mission they went on together, then it’s his responsibility to bring him back, and he might even feel guilty for his disappearance as well. Knowing what we do about Natsume’s self-esteem, martyr complex, and tendency to blame himself for everything, he is probably not taking this very well.

It’s exciting and nerve-wracking to see so many people involved in this chapter, but seeing as everything’s coming to a head, many of the characters narratively have to be involved.

Nobara, who discovers that Narumi plans to run away with Mikan to keep her safe from what’s to come, is soon after made aware that she will be blessed with a friend in the DA class: Mikan. Nobara and Natsume do not get along, but so far she’s been diligent in communicating with him about information she discovers that he would not otherwise find out. There’s no way she wouldn’t try to reach out to him, which explains why he knows about it.

Natsume has been mainly absent from the chapter, and from school as well. Nobody has seen him, because he’s too busy trying to find Tsubasa. But it’s nighttime now and everyone is going to sleep. The rumors about Tsubasa’s disappearance are all around the school and he knows that Mikan knows by now. And she’s all alone.

So he takes a break from all the work he has to do to go and comfort her. He cannot leave her alone, even if he originally planned on it.

He appears in her window and she rushes to him. She asks him questions, about where he’s been and all those wounds on his body, but he didn’t come here to talk about what happened to him. He’s here for her. He confesses that he hadn’t wanted to see anyone until he’d found Tsubasa safe and sound, but he had to see her, fearing that she was crying on her own.

They're both sad. They're each other's comfort.

Natsume knows Mikan, that she frequently acts fine even if she’s suffering. Her resilience and determination are great traits, and it’s easy to get lost in the illusion that she should always be bubbly and optimistic and smiling, but even a girl like Mikan needs to let it out sometimes. Finding out that someone you love is missing is not easy, and smiling in the face of that is not something that even Mikan can do all the time. She needs comfort, and Natsume wants to be there for her.

He’s wanted this the whole time, deep down, to be someone she could rely on, someone who could comfort her, and now he’s the only one who can. All the things he’s wanted to do for her this whole time: to comfort her, to tell her it’ll be okay, to hug her. He does it all because after all they’ve been together, she knows now that he’s someone she can rely on.

She’s crying, and she admits that she couldn’t stop even if she wanted to, because she has to cry in Natsume’s place.

Natsume came to comfort her, yes, but he’s been through a lot too. He also cares about Tsubasa and has been suffering on his own for even longer. He also needs comfort, and because he won’t let himself cry, she’ll do it for him. Mikan can see that he can’t afford to not be perfectly composed all the time. She’s thinking of him, too, and it must be nice to be seen so clearly by somebody he loves.

She knows that he's close to Tsubasa too, even if he won't admit it. THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S COMFORT.

He tells her he will find Tsubasa, and “about her too”, which means he’s letting her know he’s taking care of her. He will keep an eye out and try to keep her safe. He’s hinting that he knows about her other alice, and that he’s on top of it. He has to go now, but his farewell--his promise--is his final way of comforting her for the night. She doesn’t need to worry too much about Tsubasa or what will happen with the school, because he will fix it all. He will protect her.

Conclusion

There's something looming over the kids at the academy. Something really bad is going to happen, and everyone seems somewhat aware at this point. Natsume is at the ready for the slightest threat to Mikan, and he will finally be able to spring into action in the next edition of this already-too-long essay.

So... This is the twentieth part. If I'm to guess, I'd say there's not going to be another ten parts to make it to thirty, but I might be wrong, depending on how long my analysis gets in the last parts of the manga. As I post this, I'm about fifty chapters ahead (which sounds impressive but actually isn't considering the Time Travel Arc has groups of entire chapters that I had to skip). Maybe it'll get to something like twenty-eight but I'm not sure about thirty. We'll see. Once upon a time I thought it'd be forty, even! No, not Natsume's. Mikan's, maybe, but not Natsume's.

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fandoms-and-things · 3 years

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So someone told me I should actually post my psychology assignment for adolescent psych...

Pop Culture Assignment

The long-running TV show, Supernatural, follows the story of two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who repeatedly save the world from demons, monsters, angels, vampires, and any other number of mythical creatures. The show begins by flashing back to their childhood with the death of their mother as she bursts into flames on the ceiling above the cradle of the younger brother, Sam. Sam, Dean, and their father, John Winchester survive the fire and we later learn that it was all caused by a demon. From that day forth John Winchester makes it his life mission to avenge the death of his wife and begins spending his life as a “hunter” for supernatural creatures in the hopes that one day he’d come across the one that killed his wife. However, travelling from motel room to motel room back and forth across the country, facing dangerous creatures day in and day out is no healthy way to raise two children and this comes across very clearly in the parenting styles John uses and especially in how they affect the development of the elder son, Dean.

Supernatural is a show that has a very large fan following and thus has people all over the world dedicating hours upon hours a week to it - creating fanart, writing novel-length stories, or even analyzing the character’s every action to figure out their intrinsic motivations. Thus, in my analysis of the character of Dean Winchester and the effect his father’s parenting had on him, I would like to take into account the more popular subplots that fans have collectively believed to be true even if it is not directly evident in the media.

Parenting styles play an important role in the development of children to adolescents and beyond through the rest of their lives. There are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglecting. Authoritative consists mainly of high acceptance and high control, they are controlling but flexible such as making reasonable demands and explaining why they have those rules. Authoritarian parents have high control and low acceptance and are often highly restrictive, rely on punitive, forceful tactics, and are not sensitive to their child’s or viewpoints. Permissive parents practice low control and high acceptance - being very lax with establishing and enforcing rules and making few demands at all. Finally, neglecting or uninvolved parents are low control/ low acceptance, being extremely lax and may have either rejected their children or been completely overwhelmed by their own issues to worry about caring for their children All four parenting styles have different effects on the person they’re being used to parent. Authoritative parenting often leaves children in the best case scenario all around: happy, socially responsible, self-reliant, achievement-oriented, etc. Authoritarian parents leave children commonly less independent, less assertive, less achievement oriented, aimless, and unhappy. Permissive parents create children who may be impulsive, aggressive, bossy, self-centered, and lack self-control. Neglectful parents have children who are commonly aggressive, have behavioral problems, poor academic performance, hostile, and a higher likelihood of delinquent acts. These are only the beginnings of the effects the style of parenting used can affect their kids.

On Archive of Our Own, a popular fanfiction website, the tag “John Winchester’s A+ Parenting” has nearly 3,400 works posted. This tag is used in obvious satire as John Winchester often flip-flops between Authoritarian and Neglecting parenting styles. As the boys were growing up, John often gave them some money for food and then left them alone in various motel rooms for days on end as he went on trips to hunt the various supernatural creatures. Dean was always left in charge of his younger brother in these moments. Dean made it his job to take care of Sam to the best of his ability, and would sometimes have to forgo food for himself for days in order to keep his brother well fed. On at least one occasion, he had to resort to stealing food after the money he’d been left not being enough to last them as long as their father was gone, and when his father came to get him after he’d been caught he told the police to “let him rot in jail”. Dean grew to end up being the closest thing to a real parent figure for his brother; one Christmas, Dean lied to his brother saying that his father had come over night, decorated their dingy motel room and left presents, instead, Dean had done all this himself and stolen the presents from a house down the street to give to his brother. In later adolescence, Dean can be seen gambling and hustling pool, and his actor in one interview even suggests that he may have taken to sex work at some points to make extra money. These instances help display the neglecting side of John Winchester’s parenting and how it led Dean to commit delinquent acts. Dean also never graduated from high school and has a history of anger issues, all possibly stemming from neglectful parenting.

On the other hand, when John Winchester was around, he undoubtedly took on an authoritarian parenting style. He was a “my house, my rules” kind of guy, or in this case, “my car, my rules” since they spent so much time on the road. He had both boys call him “sir” and demanded them to “follow his direct orders” all of the time and would scold them if they stepped out of line, even resorting to physical discipline. John also taught Dean how to shoot before he was even ten years old. One day when their family-friend, Bobby, was babysitting them, he got scolded on the phone by John for playing catch with Dean instead of doing target practice with a shotgun. Growing up, Dean thought his father was a hero for hunting monsters and grew to idealize him and be the most loyal son he could be. Because of this, while father was still alive, Dean never really got the chance to develop emotional autonomy, his father would have found it disrespectful to ask for any kind of freedom and since Dean always wanted to please his father, he never even asked. Throughout the series, Dean is repeatedly referred to as his father’s “good soldier” or “Daddy’s blunt little instrument” insinuating further that Dean was extremely affected by his father’s authoritarian parenting style. Additionally, John Winchester also used some psychological control - influencing his child’s behavior by ignoring, discounting, belittling, withholding affection, and injecting shame and guilt. In one episode, Dean immediately knows his father is possessed because John said he was proud of Dean and Dean knew that would never happen under normal circumstances. Additionally, John is a man very preoccupied with being the “manliest man” he can be and made sure to instill this in his children at a young age and would use various language to belittle his sons showing any signs of weakness like by saying “stop being such a girl”, etc. Many fans have analyzed that Dean Winchester is bisexual and agree that this belittling would be the main cause of Dean’s internalized homophobia that he may not even come to terms with until in his 40s. All of this as well caused a lot of internalizing and externalizing issues for Dean, shattering his self-esteem and making him afraid to be open with his emotions. Overall, I would say that John Winchester’s two negative extremes in terms of parenting style greatly impacted the overall wellbeing of his sons and especially his eldest, Dean.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #john winchester’s a+ parenting #psychology #psychology of parenting #adolescent psych #destiel #deancas #jensen ackles #jackles

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 3 years

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I like the implication that, in what is basically Gearbox's own Bl3 AU, Tyreen respects Amara more than she respects her own twin brother. Like. For some reason Tyreen suddenly values the loyalty of a single cultist (those things she eats and views as disposable) more than gaining another set of Siren powers and ascending further to Godhood. It's really funny to me

She absorbs her brother and steals Lilith's powers and attempts to absorb the Destroyer in order to become a God, but no she draws the line at Amara because Amara had [checks notes] "loyalty and usefulness on the battlefield". Sorry, didn't realize those were things Tyreen values given she bleeds a shitton of her loyal battle forces dry like she's sucking down smoothies, but yeah OK.

Like. I KNOW. That this is just for the new body customizations. I GET IT. I know they needed to write up SOMETHING. but God damn it this made me laugh so hard like. They did the main story again. They did it fuckin AGAIN and they did it WORSE.

Because yeah in the actual game Amara is on our team and we can just kinda half hand-wave away the twins not going for her powers as a sort of "oh they never saw an opportunity they didn't wanna risk their plans" (totally ignoring Jakobs Manor with Troy because if you play as Amara, uh, Troy's got some self esteem issues picking monologuing over obtaining more siren powers given we know he can absorb the people in his phaselock cuz he does it to Tyreen) but now AMARA IS LITERALLY IN THE CULT, ON THEIR TEAM. If her loyalty is that goddamn notable that she becomes a holy avatar of Tyreen maybe just be like "hey, wanna do something cool for ur God Queen? Lemme have your powers to get to the Great Vault and you'll stand next to me when I open it". Boom loyal cultist has been SUCKERED into giving up her powers FOR FREE. And if Amara would've been like "oh hell no" and left after Tyreen asked for her powers why is Amara okay with Tyreen and Troy stealing OTHER Sirens powers. Not to mention that Tyreen would not even need to ask for the powers, just sneak up behind Amara n take them, it's not like she'd be on guard 24/7 because she joined the CoV OF HER OWN VOLITION.

But nah we just uh let her keep her powers because um. She's loyal and strong. Like all of our other cultists. Yeahhhh. LMAO. Ah God. It's so bad. The others aren't great either (Zane swaps from trying to hide in the CoV to being a bandit leader solely because his relatives were bandit leaders like can I get a yikes from all my siblings with shitty relatives), but Amara's really got to me as I was thinking it through.

The other 3 don't need 'divine intervention' from the twins when they join the cult so they can slip under their radar, but Amara definitely fucking does as a God damn SIREN and that's where it went wrong. Like, again, I know it's just so we can have these new cosmetics and shouldn't be taken that seriously but ahhhhh it's so laughable fhhagshdkdhhfk like yeah you'll be our... Uh... holy... avatar..? Yeah sure that. You'll survive if you stay with us, Siren [wink wink]

They could've just said something like 'the twins are letting Amara keep her powers for now to lull her into a false sense of security until they need/yoink them later' or some shit and idve been like oh sick boom case closed this cosmetic is just from before they take them. But instead they say Tyreen allows Amara to keep her powers because she's loyal and good at fighting. Bitch you'd be good at fighting too if you took Amara's powers and added them to your own set.

In fact now I'm just disappointed we never heard of Tyreen or Troy when they had their powers going down with the masses of cultists to fight. No vlog footage of them livestreaming combat from their perspective like Maya does in a video call from Athenas.

It kinda makes them seem like they can't do anything by themselves (all we see them do is sneakily steal vault monsters after we do all the hard work, kill Maya completely by accident and intimidate a 12 year old, surprise attack us but only to monologue and get shot by an old man they can't even catch, then sneakily yoink Tannis. I guess they also steal Lilith's powers at the start of the game but that's... Well it's Lilith, the queen of shitty decisions who 100% could have teleported with the Vault Map instead of fighting, and the twins still had the element of surprise on their side to get the upper hand) which really undermines the whole thing they're trying to build up with Sirens being stupid powerful and them being the Main Villains of a shooter video game.

At least with Jack we were told up front that he was a coward and wouldn't fight fair or directly if he could help it by angel herself. The start of the game he tries to blow us up on a train with a cocky sign, not fight us head on. Meanwhile the twins are all like "nooo we're unkillable gods" and everyone we meet is like "noooo they're terrifying cult leaders" and they go after Lilith to take her powers by surprising her with Troy being a Siren (?) and then we don't ever see them actually, really FIGHTING again until their final boss fights where we kill them. Making it come across like they probably only ever got lucky in combat instead of using their skill sets.

They don't even have to be on the battlefield when the VHs are fighting, but imagine calling ahead to another planet and instead of seeing yet another bunch of nameless cultists killing people, you saw Tyreen and Troy doing their own thing with their Siren abilities while the CoV took care of stragglers. Literally anything to make them feel intimidating instead of noise machines. Like damn. Imagine if they showed Troy doing his orb sword rock attacks in-game to kill a bunch of civilians with guns before we fought him. Or wait was him actually getting that power cut along with the explanation for the Vault of the Architects 😩

Idk I'd like to imagine instead of their shitty meme videos that play on repeat on eden-6 even though they're both dead god damn it turn the fucking videos OFF there are compilations of kills by Tyreen having both Phaseleech and Phasewalk on the battlefield. Troy with Phaselock executing people with his giant sword while cultists cheer him on while swarming other people. Let them have mlg pro sound effects and editing and shitty dubstep if you must BUT AT LEAST WE'D HAVE REASON TO BE LIKE "oh shit, we're about to fight these guys how will we survive against those attacks" instead of "oh, finally, I get to shut them the hell up". It'd be terrifying, but so cool to see and would really build up the boss fights at the end of the game in general. Especially Tyreen's, seeing all her sweet Abilities and combos, teleporting behind people and insta killing them anime style, maybe gaining new ones by combining Phaseleech and Phasewalk together into some twisted amalgamation of powers. Wow. That'd be great.

[remembers the disappointment of Tyreen the Destroyer and her not even absorbing thrown grenades to kill us with them as she previously showed she was 100% capable of that] sigh. [wipes it from his memories] like it's so sad Tyreen just spontaneously combusts at the end of Bl3, imagine the awesomeness of fighting a Siren with 2 sets of siren powers at once who then, out of desperation in the final phase of her fight, absorbs a space abomination and becomes one herself because she's not giving up her dream that easily. Wow.

I'm rambling now lol. This whole "Amara is definitely still a Siren but don't think about it" situation just makes me laugh and I wanted to talk about it because it's borderlands why else. Just imagining Amara showing up immediately after Tyreen takes Lilith's powers and Tyreen going like "yup not taking those powers she's chill I like her" and then turning around and absorbing her brother instead is just. Comedic gold.

#No but fr bro WHAT #Tyreen would have sniped those powers as soon as they appeared and she had a clean shot #She `fights` Lilith for hers and it was more of a beat down but she GOES FOR THEM *knowing* that Lilith was the Firehawk (strong)#Imagine if Amara joined the cult and was completely chill around Tyreen she'd go for those powers in an instant like. HELLO #Godhood is calling my good b!tch!!!#It took me 2 days to read this because I genuinely dislike these customizations solely bc the VHs as characters would NEVER #I can see them not becoming VHs #Understandable. But joining the CoV? Nah Im drawing the gatdam line #Borderlands #Borderlands 3 #Cruddy rambles

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kittyprincessofcats · 3 years

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She-Ra S5 E07 - Perils of Peekablue

There might be spoilers for the rest of the season in this post!

I’ll start by saying upfront that I pretty much consider this to be the weakest episode of season 5 (or at least one of the weaker ones), even though it does move the plot along significantly. The main reason is that, as I said before, I don’t care about the group on Etheria as much as the group in space (with the exception of Scorpia and possibly Spinnetossa), so an episode like this - even though I get why it’s important - just won’t interest me as much as what the gang in space is up to.

That said, it’s not a *bad* episode or anything. Let’s get into it:

- The entire beginning scene where Adora tries to transform into She-Ra and the others keep interrupting her is absolute gold and I love everything about it. Especially Catra, OMG! The way she shows up and actually asks “Are we messing with Adora?” - She’s not even pretending to be helpful and I love that she’s bonding with Glimmer and Bow over “messing with Adora”. And how she then just flings herself onto Adora’s lap and brushes Adora’s face with her tail while cheekily saying “Yeah Adora, concentrate!” - brilliant, absolutely brilliant 🤣. And I also love how Adora doesn’t even try to push her off and actually holds her. These two are too cute.

- I also wonder if the “You can’t let distractions keep you from transforming” line was intentional foreshadowing for Shadow Weaver telling Adora that Catra’s a distraction.

- I like Catra’s new outfit! Well, it’s pretty much just her old outfit with a few adjustments. But still, nice! And she looks really cute with short hair.

- I feel like this beginning scene is pretty much here for two reasons: It sets up that Entrapta is trying to reach the rebellion on Etheria, which will be relevant at the very end of the episode, AND it shows Catra’s new outfit, so we can have a new opening now.

- Changes in the opening: Time for some really exciting mid-season opening changes! Catra’s missing from the villains’ card for the first time ever. Instead, Horde Prime’s hands are now closing around a glowing orb (I assume that’s meant to be the heart of Etheria). At the part where Catra and She-Ra fight, Catra now has short hair, She-Ra is in her new form, and instead of a snarl the fight ends with a soft smile between them (I’m not crying, you’re crying. Best opening glow-up ever! 😭). In the final heroes’ shot, Adora back to being She-Ra instead of Adora, but this time in her new form. And Catra is *finally* in the heroes’ shot as well. GOOD STUFF. (In general, I just LOVE that they actually kept updating the opening in the middle of the season. That is SO cool. But the change that really gets me is how they updated Catra and Adora’s fight, because that’s been the same since the beginning of the show and now it’s SO SWEET.)

- Okay, so my biggest problem with this episode is that the plan to find Prince Peekablue seems... kinda dumb? So they’re planning to sneak into an underwater soiree undercover and abandon everyone else at the camp to find a “hermit” no one has seen in ages because he might know where Adora and the others are? As a plan it just seems far-fetched. I get that they want to warn Adora and company that Prime is chipping people (they don’t know that Adora’s group already knows that), but how would finding Peekablue even help them achieve that? He could tell them where Adora and the others are, but... that’s it. It’s not like he can also magically communicate with Adora or anyone else. And didn’t Swift Wind tell the others last episode that Adora’s coming home and that he can feel her coming closer? So shouldn’t they already know that the group in space are on their way home? (Granted, Swift Wind told that to Micah, Frosta, Spinnerella and Netossa - but I’m assuming the rebels communicate with each other and Micah would have also told Mermista and the others?) I mean, idk how much time supposedly passed between these two episodes, so maybe it’s been a while since Elberon? Also, when did they even figure out that Horde Prime is chipping people? Last episode, Micah still said they had to “figure out what that was”. And if they know about the chips now, it might have been a good idea to check the necks of everyone at camp right away - though to be fair, they maybe didn’t realize how the chips work yet. And yeah, I am nitpicking here (and obviously the rebels have to mess up so things can go south this episode, so I guess they have to make some bad decisions.)

- That said, I love all of their outfits! And I like that Scorpia’s alias “Lynda D’Ream” is a reference to the 80s cartoon.

- Netossa’s lucky that she wears an outfit with such a high collar - makes it hard to put a chip on her neck. (Also, idk if I’ve said this before, but I love Spinnerella and Netossa’s character designs and outfits. They’re both fashion queens.)

- Just the fact that it really is Spinnetossa’s anniversary and Netossa thinks that’s why Spinnerella is acting strange - I mean, what are the odds?

- “They are my people! Which means that most of them have sworn revenge against me at some point.” Okay, that is pretty funny. And getting to meet all of Sea-Hawk’s exes was pretty funny, too. (Yeah, officially they’re not his exes but just people whose ships he set on fire... but come on, the subtext isn’t really subtle here.) And I love the whole running gag of him and Mermista fighting all of them behind the bar counter with Mermista doing most of the work and getting more and more annoyed with it - but when they’re finally done, it turns out there’s also someone there that *she* doesn’t want to see, because she set their ship on fire. Comedy gold.

- Scorpia is me at a party :( I also find it super hard to socialize and get into conversations with strangers. Very relatable there.

- I also love how the sweet flowergirl Perfuma has absolutely no problem blending in with a bunch of criminals.

- “You’re amazing. You have the biggest heart and you could do whatever you put your mind to.” Aww. I’m glad someone told Scorpia that!

- “You should do things not because you’re good at them, but because they make you happy.” That actually is some really good life advice. People should keep that mind in general.

- (I love how Sea-Hawk and Mermista are carrying Admiral Scurvy away in the background while Scorpia and Perfuma are having their heartfelt talk 🤣.)

- “Repeat after me: I can do this. I can do this.” “Perfuma can do this.” 🤦 I feel bad for laughing, but... gosh, Scorpia has some serious self-esteem issues.

- Okay, time for an unpopular opinion: I’m... not that into Scorfuma. There’s nothing wrong with it and I’m not against it or anything, but it just doesn’t particularly grab my interest. That excited feeling you get when you ship something just... isn’t there for me with them, sorry.

(I kinda felt like I had to explain/justify myself, so I started to write a small essay on my ships here that doesn’t really have anything to do with the episode. Feel free to just skip this part.)

I consider myself a multishipper and while my #1 OTP is definitely without a doubt Catradora, I also really have a soft spot for Scorptra (to the point where I’d say it’s probably my #2 after Catradora). And, to make it short, Scorptra vs. Scorfuma is one of those “fanon vs. canon” things for me, where what you want to see happen in canon isn’t necessarily what you find exciting or interesting to explore in fanworks. Obviously Scorptra was never going to be canon because Catradora is a thing, and I’m perfectly okay with that. And in canon, Scorpia getting out of a toxic friendship, moving on from her unrequited feelings, and finding love with someone else (who treats her right) is the right message to send, so I’m glad that’s where the show went. But when it comes to enjoying a ship in fanon (which is what I consider “shipping” to be), then I don’t pick my ships based on how healthy they are in canon, but on how much their dynamic fascinates me and just on whether that certain spark that makes me like a ship is there or not. And in that sense, Scorpia’s dynamic with Catra, which was explored over the course of 4 seasons, is just infinitely more fascinating and spark-inducing to me that her relationship with Perfuma.

And even beyond Scorptra - if I had to ship Scorpia with someone other than Catra, my first pick would be Entrapta. (Yes, I do ship Entrapdak, but like I said - multishipper here. Also, Entrapta has two hands!) And my first pick for who to ship Perfuma with would be Mermista because I like their bickering and I have a thing for opposites attracting.

Anyway, I’ve been rambling about ships for too long now. The bottom line is: I’m fine with Scorfuma being canon and it makes sense that they fit together since they’re very similar people. I don’t dislike it, I’m just not as hyped about it as many people seem to be. On with the episode now, please!

- “I guess I don’t know what a hermit is after all.” Yeah, Peekablue was giving off Double Trouble vibes from the beginning, tbh.

- I love how Netossa is competitive even at planning anniversary surprises.

- Perfuma loudly supporting Scorpia when she ends up on stage is a super nice moment, though. And Scorpia’s performance? Amazing!

- I wonder if Double Trouble made up that whole “She-Ra in space” vision because they were pretending to be Peekablue and just got it right by accident, or if they actually knew that much from their time pretending to be a clone. I wonder how much time they spent as a clone and what exactly they saw.

- Scorpia realizing it’s Double Trouble and then tricking and unmasking them was an amazing moment. So much for Scorpia not being smart!

- I was so excited to see Double Trouble again! Tough it makes me a bit said that they refered to Catra as their “cash kitten”. While they never made a secret out of being in it for the money, I kind of like the idea that they did care for Catra after all. (Do I just ship everyone with Catra? The answer is yes.)

DT: “I know where your friends are. And I’ll tell you - for a price, of course.”

Perfuma: *grows flower arm canon*

DT: “... Fine.”

😂😂😂 Love that.

- “It makes for a very dull audience when everyone’s mind-controlled.” Okay, but that really is a good reason for Double Trouble to help the heroes out without really changing their motivation. They’re still a Chaotic Neutral who doesn’t particularly care about morals - but it would make for a very dull audience if everyone was mind-controlled.

- “Prime is angry. She-Ra showed up and stole his little kitten away.” Like I said before, I LOVE that that’s the reason why Prime’s so pissed in the first place.

- The confrontation between Netossa and Spinnerella is so heartbreaking, but when she said “show me your neck” it again made me wonder why they didn’t check everyone’s neck at camp before.

- “What a shame we can’t be together... in Horde Prime’s light!” Ooohhh, it’s so creepy and angsty, I love it!

- And Mermista’s chipped as well because obviously things have to go south here.

- The parallel confrontations at camp and at the soiree are really cool scenes. I especially like the Spinnerella vs. Netossa fight. And Micah’s chipped as well, because things have to go wrong and Glimmer mentioned being “a day away from meeting her dad” - so obviously that has to be ruined now, too.

- “A little help? I need to lift my hand to the heavens.” Gosh, I love DT.

- Scorpia’s sacrifice made me tear up 😭. (When I first watched it, I was scared she was actually going to die and not just get chipped - I’d never have forgiven the show for that.)

- Can we talk about how strong Netossa actually is? She fought off both Spinnerella and Micah by herself, made a big enough net to cover all the chipped people, and got herself and Frosta out of there safely - I don’t want to hear anything about her powers not being strong again.

- “Happy anniversary.” Noooo, now I’m crying again... 😭😭😭 It’s so sad, but so romantic... (I really love that this season gave Spinnerella and Netossa more screentime. And I’m always here for some angst!)

- And finally, Perfuma is able to contact the group in space and warn them about the blockade. I really like that scene. I like that Perfuma specifically says “You need to stay away”, since we know what happened last time someone told Adora that. And the whole grim mood of Perfuma apologizing and saying the rebellion is compromised, the shaky pictures, the connection cutting off, and then the shot of the ship all alone in space and the silence - amazing. Basically, this episode was “things go very wrong on Etheria, and now the group in space has a serious problem”.

This was a good episode, overall. Like I said, the main reason I consider it weaker is because I care more about the group in space, and they were only here for one scene in the beginning and one in the end. But this was still pretty solid. It had some funny and sweet moments, and then some really cool and dramatic scenes in the end. And of course, it was a very important episode for the plot because things are now really not looking good on Etheria. My favourite moment was Catra sitting on Adora’s lap in the opening scene, though.

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aurorafluffbutt · 3 years

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Normally, Karamatsu was good at keeping his cool in situations that made him really nervous or scared. He would stay calm and collected, ready to take whatever it was on with everything he had and seize his moment to prove to himself that he was indeed the cool, brave, and overall flawless man he wanted to be.

This was not one of those times.

Karamatsu’s heart raced in his chest and his stomach was twisted in knots as he walked down the hallway towards his new therapist’s office. Although his body language stated the exact opposite, he was incredibly nervous. His relaxed posture and his puffed out chest hid that very well.

Why was he so scared? Everything that Chibita told him about therapy sounded like a dream come true. A place where you could talk to a trained professional about how you're feeling without fear of judgement along with them giving advice on how to improve your state of mind? That sure sounded like a great idea to Karamatsu. So why was he anxious? He had no reason to be.

Well...he did have one reason.

Karamatsu couldn't begin to describe the feeling that he had when he was given the name of his psychiatrist. It was like that sinking feeling that you get in your stomach when you realize something horrible, but worse. Not only was a family member going to be seeing him at his most vulnerable, but it was the family member that hated him the most. He was dreading their first session from the moment he found this out to when he was nearing Ichimatsu’s office door.

Before he knew it, Karamatsu was standing in front of the only thing separating him from more humiliation and self hatred, once again caused by one of his many brothers. He raised his fist up to knock on the door, but stopped.

Is this really something I should go through? No, maybe not. He thought. Maybe I should just go home and crawl back into bed. But I can’t just leave without an explanation! What am I going to do?

While Kara pondered whether or not he should knock, Ichimatsu made the decision for him by opening up the door as if he knew his brother was standing on the other side. He didn't seem at all phased by his brother being his client. He just looked at his clipboard and said a simple “Welcome. Come in.”

Karamatsu nodded and confidently made his way into the office, trying to put on his typical “cool guy” exterior. His brother’s workspace was extremely messy, with papers haphazardly stacked on his desk and books in a bookshelf that looked like they were just thrown in with little thought put into where they should go. Ichimatsu didn't seem to mind the mess though, and he looked like he knew where everything was. He sat down at his desk and silently stared at Karamatsu. He stared back, unsure of what to do.

Finally, Ichimatsu gestured to the couch across from his desk. “Have a seat.”

Karamatsu nodded again and sat down in the soft cushions, letting the awkward silence hang in the air and waiting for Ichimatsu to make the first move.

Ichimatsu looked over his notes again and shifted his gaze back to Kara. “So what brings you here?”

With that, the older man froze. He didn't want Ichi to know that him and his brothers were the cause of his lack of self esteem and self worth. He doubted that they'd even feel guilty if they knew. Plus, none of them knew him outside of his persona. He tried so hard to make that persona who he was, and admitting that he hated himself would just undo everything he's built up. He had to think of something to say quick!

Karamatsu put on his usual confident smirk and closed his eyes. “Heh...you see brother, a friend of mine suggested that I come here, and although I don't see why, I didn't want to disappoint them when they thought they were doing a good deed!”

“Karamatsu, you don't need to act like that while you're here. You can be honest with me. I won't judge you for anything that you say and I won't tell any of our brothers about what we talk about. Everything that happens in this room stays in this room. You don't even have to see me as your brother. Right now, I'm your therapist.”

Karamatsu, genuinely dumbfounded, blinked a couple of times at Ichimatsu. That was the first time in a long time that Ichimatsu showed any semblance of kindness to him, and although he wasn't about to complain, it just felt weird.

Ichimatsu spoke again. “I know that this is a bit awkward, but you can trust me with anything. I have a lot of clients who are going through the same thing that you are, you don't need to feel like you're alone on this. I'm a professional, I know how to help if you tell me what's bothering you.”

Karamatsu so badly wanted to trust his brother and tell him how he truly felt, but along with keeping up his image, his concern was about how Ichimatsu would feel if he knew the truth. If he knew that him and the others were the main cause of his lack of self worth, he'd..well, he'd…

Actually, Karamatsu didn't know how his brother would react if he knew. He hasn't seen him since the brothers went their separate ways to start their own lives and careers. What happened to Ichimatsu that made his attitude towards him do a complete turnaround? Was he just trying to be professional? If they ran into each other somewhere in public, would he go back to abusing him?

Ichimatsu spoke once again and interrupted Karamatsu’s train of thought. If he was scared of being vulnerable around him, then he was going to fight fire with fire.

“If it makes you feel any better, I also had to get therapy before I went to college. I was so scared of moving out and getting a job, mostly because of the stress of having to be around so many people at once. After living with Todomatsu for a little bit while he was trying to get his acting career off the ground, I decided that I wanted to do something productive, but I didn't know what. Plus, I doubted myself too much to do so. After I struggled with this conundrum for a while, I finally told Mom and Dad about this and about how I felt, and they did what was probably the best thing they've ever done for me: they got me a therapist.

Sure, it took me a while for me to open up with her since I didn't think that I needed it at first, but once I did, I noticed that I felt a lot better after our sessions. I was happier, more comfortable. She taught me so many things about my self worth and she helped me through so many issues that I struggled with for a long time. Even after I decided to go to college and major in psychology, she was there with me through every step of the way. I probably would've dropped out from stress had it not been for her. I'm really happy with my life now, and I wouldn't be here had it not been for Mom and Dad’s decision to sign me up for counseling. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

The more Ichimatsu revealed about what he's been up to, the more Karamatsu’s expression softened. When they were still NEETs, Ichimatsu wouldn't be caught dead being this open about his feelings, and here he was, talking about his past struggles to the brother he used to hate the most without a hint of hesitation. He really has changed. Without noticing, Karamatsu's eyes began to water and his throat tightened. After watching Ichimatsu grow up into a cynical, cold loner and seeing that he's become someone like this, Karamatsu knew for sure that he could confide in him.

Noticing Kara’s tears, Ichimatsu leaned over his desk and handed him a box of tissues. “Here.”

After Karamatsu took the tissues and blinked away his tears, he slowly started to spill everything that he's felt over the years of living with his brothers. The loneliness, rejection, self hatred, desperation, trust issues, and to top it all off, the need to hide all of that out of fear of nobody caring. While it did hurt Ichimatsu to know that him and the rest of Karamatsu’s brothers were the main cause of these awful feelings, also knowing that his older brother trusted him enough to tell him all of this even after their less than great past made him feel really good. It brought him a sense of hope that Karamatsu’s relationships and sense of importance would improve greatly with some work and a bit of medication if needed. It was one of the many reasons that he loved being a therapist.

Karamatsu wrapped up his story and smiled at Ichimatsu. It was nothing like the confident grin that he usually wore. It was more soft and relieved, happy that he could finally talk about whatever he needed to in a secure safe space. It was almost cathartic.

With a glance at the cat themed clock on the wall, Ichimatsu turned back to his brother. “It's almost time to wrap up our session. Is there anything else you'd like to add before you leave?”

“Yes. I'd like to say that I could never be more proud of you, by brother. You've made so much progress in your career and mental image, so much so that you'd tell your story to someone that you hated. You've grown so much, fulfilled your dreams, and you've settled into a comfortable, happy life. I may still be trying to find my calling, but seeing you every week will help me in the long run so much, I know it. Thank you in advance for helping me, and thank you for finally being here for me.”

All Ichimatsu did in response was smile at his brother with his usual lidded gaze. “Thanks Karamatsu. It means a lot to hear that. I'll be seeing you again next week.”

The older brother made his way out of the doorway of the office after a goodbye, refreshed and smiling.

There were many more layers to Ichimatsu than he thought, and now that he knew that, he'd be less nervous about sharing the truth in their next session. Sure, he'd still be a bit reluctant since he wasn't used to actually addressing his issues, but at least he would know that he could be honest with him right off the bat next time.

It may not have seemed like it at first, but Ichimatsu couldn't have been better for his therapist.

#osomatsu san #karamatsu #ichimatsu #iromatsu #fanfic #my writing

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lokigodofaces · 3 years

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(mini) thoughts on loki episode four: the nexus event

under cut for your convenience

mainly about Renslayer, Kang, and just other things I deem important

there is no villain now. i don't think Renslayer will be the main villain. so this could lead to Kang the Conqueror.

in the comics, Renslayer is a love interest to Kang. she isn't interested in him, and Kang starts killing people because of it. i wonder if we are seeing some version of that. that could be why Renslayer became a judge after losing Sylvie, she was unfairly promoted so that Kang could keep a better eye out for her.

this would be a horribly abusive thing going on & i hope marvel doesn't try to be abuse apologists for that, but i don't have much hope.

if Kang is the villain, why is he doing this? Kang loves the multiverse, he wants to conquer all of them.

i think the TVA is a ploy to get rid of branches and people in them that are a threat to his reign.

lets look at Loki, for example. Loki is wicked powerful. Loki is someone with the potential to learn about Kang, more so than, say, Steve Rogers. Kang does not want Loki to know what is happening because Loki would try to stop him.

in addition, Kang knows the dangers of Loki and Thor being cooperative. we all watched TDW and TR, we know that they're able to do a lot while working together, even use Ragnarok to defeat the Goddess of Death. i think this is why in the "sacred timeline," Thor and Loki are pitted against each other, and Odin and Frigga are the way they are. because that depowers an entire family that is very powerful and could maybe stop Kang.

so why was Sylvie arrested when she was? i think it was that Odin had just told her she was adopted (something drastically important considering how things went for the main Loki). i don't think the minutemen could handle Odin, so they waited until Sylvie was alone.

this explains why Sylvie was able to go years without being pruned because, if the TVA's rules are as they seem, Odin and Frigga should've created a branch timeline when Sylvie was conceived and did not have the chromosomes necessary for a male child. i don't think Kang cares if there are branch timelines. i think he cares when there are threats. once Sylvie was told about her heritage, she becomes that much more of a threat and has to be eliminated.

this is why powerful characters have crap happen to them. Kang chose to have a multiverse of Lokis that go through heck in their lives. they chose Lokis to have self-esteem issues, to have contention with Thors, to not have confidence, to go through horrible things. Kang chose to have a universe that had the first person to use all infinity stones insane and not want to use them to check out how the universe works (revealing Kang). a universe where most of the really powerful characters died in the Snap, a way to control them, to take away five years where they could do something. think about it: Strange and Wanda die in the Snap, Loki is killed before that, and this drives Thor to depression. the four most powerful people (in my mind) are taken out, not in a position to cause problems.

what about every other variant? i don't think the TVA knows about all this. if anyone does, it would be Renslayer, but even then i'm not sure. i think that the technology is set up to detect enough nexus events Kang couldn't care about so that the TVA seems legitimate, but really it is impossible for the TVA to prune every branch.

(also i think pruned people generally go to a place where the Time Keepers "create" them, a way to get free labor. so pruning regular people is to Kang advantage to keep a workforce to hunt down the powerful people he fears)

they also made a big deal about Lokis not dying in this ep, so i think that's why pruning and entire timeline is done. trying to kill Loki is inefficient, we all know that. but get rid of the timeline and force them through the TVA? then everything will probably be alright for the story Kang wants.

possibly Loki is in a limbo pocket dimension sort of place with all the Lokis. and Mobius? i theorize pruned TVA agents go to limbo instead of being remade because they have to deal with people remembering them and if they rebelled once, whose to say the won't again? & we know Mobius will show up again driving a car by the Sphinx and Stonehenge (or something similar? can't quite tell what that structure was), so that's how i think it is, but who knows.

this explains how the multiverse HAS BEEN CONFIRMED SINCE DOCTOR STRANGE. the Ancient One literally talked about the "vast multiverse" when she met Stephen. i trust her when it comes to this stuff, more than i do the TVA. so i think there is a multiverse, it is just being selected by Kang to be the least threatening to him.

also Mobius said the TVA deals with a lot of Loki variants, so that adds to this.

as for apocalypses, if we look at real life physics (many worlds theory) hiding in apocalypses does make a new universe. stepping on the wrong leaf in an apocalypse makes a new universe. any choice anyone or anything makes creates a new universe. but Kang is fine with that. because anything in an apocalypse that would be a threat to him is destroyed. i'm jumping into Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. for an example. Talbot was powerful as Graviton. i don't know, maybe he would have been threatening to Kang. but in the timeline where he destroyed Earth, he was destroyed as well. so why would Kang care if he attacked Los Angeles instead of Chicago? he wouldn't! as long as Talbot died, there is no threat because he is dead regardless. but, if Talbot had left, if he had survived, then maybe the TVA would've come after him (oh my gosh those poor minutemen that would be hard).

& i don't think Loki falling for himself is the reason behind the nexus event. i think that it is because he made an actual connection with someone for once. and that is important to him being able to heal and to have self love and all those good things. & that is so much more dangerous for Kang.

again, think about it, bad stuff always happens to the most powerful characters of the MCU. Loki, Thor, Stephen, Wanda, Carol, (since i'm into aos), Daisy, Ruby, Talbot, they all had bad things happen to them. things that have repeatedly knocked them down/killed them. they've grown from these things, yes. but they all have traumas they have to work through, things that are protecting Kang. out of all of them, i'd say Loki probably had it the worst. and he is definitely a threat to Kang, but only if he believes he is.

also, if the TVA is a bunch of BS, it means AoS is there! maybe a different universe after all the time travel hijinks they have, but there!

also, since Wanda is a nexus being, i don't know how much the TVA/Kang can control her since she is detached from reality.

i kept talking about Kang, but he's the guy i think would make the most sense. it could be King Loki or He Who Remains or someone else, but i think the fear of Loki is still there.

#loki (2021)#loki (2021) spoilers #loki (2021) review #loki laufeyson #tva loki #sylvie laufeydottir #ravonna renslayer #kang the conqueror #mobius m mobius #agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. (2013 2020)

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natsunoomoi · 3 years

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So sometimes I check wikis to like look things up about a show or series that I don’t have time to read or watch the whole thing fully cuz that’s a time investment I just don’t have but I have questions I just want a quick answer to.

The problem is, wikis are of course, made by like regular people with varying levels of biases and also sometimes selective memory of events. As can be seen in my more recent posts with SVSSS and MXTX’s works I’ve been on those wikis, but sometimes the explanations of plot points and a bunch of other stuff are really confusing and circular. SVSSS’s is being more cleaned up recently, but it still has some things that it says happened, that I couldn’t find at all when reading the book and I’m just like, where did they find that info to put on the wiki?

Like one of my earlier posts when I started reading SVSSS at the beginning, I mentioned how I read that original Luo Binghe got killed by his harem eventually and I thought that made sense cuz ultimately no one in that original plotline made choices that made them genuinely happy. But when I read the book, I didn’t see any mention of that anywhere...? I think last time I went to go look at BC Novels they had one chapter left to translate. Is it in there?

Then at other times, I wonder if there’s an inconsistency because there’s a limitation between the translation I read and like something in the original Chinese text like there’s a typo, which obviously there’s a mistake then. But then other times, I’m wondering if people read a different thing, but most of the people with a different interpretation don’t seem to be able to read Chinese and are reading the same translation as me, but I’m confused where they got certain details from?

Like for instance, there’s another part on the wiki where it says Airplane originally planned for PIDW to be a BL from the beginning, but I’ve literally been trying to find where that was stated because I don’t remember that and I don’t see that anywhere and the chapter citation that is listed on the wiki goes to a chapter that doesn’t talk about that at all. Airplane/Qinghua does say that he made changes to Qingqiu’s character that were originally more complex to make him a trash human and he did that to make a living, but I can’t find where it says he originally wanted it to be a BL theme to begin with. In the chapter they cite it says that Qinghua had designed Binghe to have an appearance in a way that appealed more to a female audience and be more of a pretty boy. That doesn’t mean that he meant his entire book to be a BL it just means you make your main character look a certain way partly for internal logic because that look is really popular with women so the in-story women would probably find him attractive and in a meta sense any females who happen to also read a stallion novel like some women read shounen manga would find him hot in real life. A successful story does things like that to reach people outside of its target audience and that’s kind of a lot of the reason why a lot of Shounen Jump manga are really popular with women too even though a lot of the stories have the male perspective in mind. The chapter it cites only talks about the actual physical appearance design choice he made for Binghe vs Mobei-Jun. He just says that Mobei-Jun was made for the kind of male character he prefers to think about, but Binghe was just designed with the idea of what would make him more popular and also could kind of be like a self-insert-ish for his desire to beat on people for funsies. It doesn’t talk at all about what the genre he planned for the book to be and interpreting the text to that much is really stretching the context to wishful thinking levels. I don’t even actually care either way what kind of novel PIDW was because it’s not actually that important to enjoying the story of SVSSS, but I don’t know if it’s the Ravenclaw in me or what, but it just bugs me when there’s something that seems *wrong* printed on a thing that is supposed to inform other people. I’m literally reading chapters at the same time as trying to write this post to find where I think maybe it was said, but it sure as hell wasn’t the chapter the wiki cites.

The other day I re-read the chapter when Qinghua taunts SY with Qingqiu’s real memories, and he doesn’t even say it then. ATM, I’m trying to look through the last chapter because there’s that one part when Qinghua shows up right at the end and talks with SY at the celebration, but even at the start at the chapter, SY talks about how Qingqiu was super straight to him. SY is an unreliable narrator, but given the context of Qingqiu’s life events that makes sense. His personal trauma because of Qiu Jianluo also pushed him away from any amount of closeness he could have with other men other than ones he already trusted to some degree. He had a lot of problems forming new relationships of any kind with other men because of deep-seated trust issues. Not that he didn’t have any, but meaningful ones were pretty absent. One only because of a very sad misunderstanding and lack of communication and explanation, but the others just tough.

But like also there’s like that SJ slept in the Warm Red Pavilion and he went there just for comfort rather than more lascivious reasons. Yeah, it’s true that he didn’t go there for those intentions, but like it’s still in the environment so it’s not like he’s unaware of what happens there. I mentioned it in the previous post about his search for means to grow his cultivation, but only to say he’s probably not that innocent and there may be some truth to him wanting to do something to Ning Yingying out of desperation to make up for his low cultivation foundation. Like he’s aware of those kinds of things and he probably came across something that said that was a way he could grow his cultivation. Desperation and this motivation I think is probably the only reason why he would be so tempted to cross that line with Yingying because he otherwise treats women rather well. She is his favorite too, so if a person who usually treats females well for some reason wants to do something that would be hurtful to their favorite person, there has to be a much deeper motivation behind that. The only thing that is a canonically greater obsession I think would have to be his cultivation level. He has a number of self-esteem issues and such a well, but his greatest pride and greatest concern is his cultivation. He is proud of his abilities, but also he laments and regrets the version of him he couldn’t become so much I can foresee that if there was a suggestion that he could overcome his late start in some way by using someone female, I think he’d at least think about it and also consider who he knows could be a viable candidate should he want to act on it and that is how that part of PIDW happened. Pain and desperation make people do things that are uncharacteristic, so it has to be something that really bothers him more than in a moment of weakness that idea is there.

Which is another point I have an issue with on the wiki because it says his low cultivation is “logically” because he started late and spent so much time with a fake master. It’s not logically. It’s factually. It’s mentioned several times especially in the extras chapters from Shen Jiu’s point of view where he talks about how he is specifically behind because of wasting time with Qiu Jianluo and Wu Yanzi and also that he was the last to form a golden core. If it was coming out of SY or someone else’s mouth as an explanation, maybe you can say “logically”, but if it’s coming from SJ’s point of view chapter it sure as hell is not. That *IS* his motivation. He states it himself.

Also, I think some people don’t understand what it means to have a low cultivation foundation. Cultivation from what I gather according to the rules of this world is like a lot of talents we have in our world where you need to start young to be good at it. There’s a few skills that you can learn that if you don’t start at a specific time you lose the optimal window to develop your talent for it because of the way the brain functions and basically purges off skillsets you’re not using in your environment.

Learning a language is one such skill. When a baby is born, it has the capability to learn how to speak every language in the world, but as it gets older its brain purges out the sounds that it doesn’t hear from its environment and this keeps going into older childhood as well. The taxi driver I talked to the other day about this said you have to start before you’re 10, which sounds about right. The phoneme purging in your brain starts quite early though so that’s why my company has classes for Moms and their 1 or 2 year old so that they can speak to them in English to try to keep English sounds in their environment so that they can have perfect pronunciation when they grow up. If you try to learn a new language when you’re older that’s how you have accents. You don’t have the phonemes to speak the language perfectly so your brain is imitating the sounds with the ones you do have. Plus it’s a constant use skill. I used to be able to speak Cantonese with no accent up until my teens, but I haven’t spoken it in so long that slowly I started to have an accent and now I can’t say the words properly anymore. I don’t know that much Cantonese to begin with that aren’t baby words, but I used to be able to say them properly.

Music is another one and that one has an even more narrow window. Kids with parents hoping that they will be music prodigies usually start them on music VERY young like 3 or 4. It’s not that it’s impossible for someone to pick up an instrument later in life, but there’s a type of sense to music and hearing the scale and developing that skill that if you don’t start kids on it at that time, their musical ear will not be as good.

And it’s that “not as good” thing that Qingqiu is chasing. He is exceptionally powerful and talented which is why despite starting late he became favored. He is very capable and good at what he does, but he is not as good as what he could have been. Even though he is so good, he is only haunted by how much better he would have been if he had started on time and had proper instruction. A musician who maybe wants to be a concert violinist but took up the instrument late may struggle to get a good seat in an orchestra because despite any talent they have, their ear is not as developed as someone else. Such a musician would be vexed and lament that they hadn’t discovered their love for the instrument sooner just as Qingqiu is vexed and laments that he didn’t start proper cultivation development earlier.

And I’m griping about SVSSS more because I read that book so I have more points of reference to go on. But like the wikis for MDZS and TGCF aren’t much better. MDZS is maybe a little more coherent and easier to follow, but TGCF confused the hell out of me and it took me awhile to understand what was going on. I really needed it though cuz I was watching the donghua and like I think the way they present some of the scenes is like slightly out of order for like foreshadowing and other like film reasons, so I checked the wiki while watching to try to get more context cuz I don’t have much time right now to pick up another book at the moment. I was so confused though cuz like...it seems like the logic in the entries is so circular and I’m trying to keep track of all the characters and what’s happening. I hope it’s better now but at the time I was watching it I was so confused and struggling to make sense of what’s happening.

And like maybe you’re wondering why if I read the book, would I bother checking a wiki. Mostly out of laziness because I’m thinking of something and I don’t want to go find the exact chapter to help me flesh out my thought and reference point. I end up getting more frustrated sometimes depending on what I’m looking up because of the above things.

Plus again I’m like a bit mystified as to why Qingqiu’s look seems to appeal to me. It’s not just him though and like other characters with a similar style in some of the games I play. I think there’s some imprint from some very old childhood memory that I only vaguely remember. Like it’s a look that seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on where it’s from and I can’t figure it out, so I keep just going to check images to see if it will make me remember. I think it’s a movie I saw with my Dad as a young child, but I can’t remember it at all. I remember there was one Jet Li movie I watched with my Dad once and I ended up watching all the time cuz I thought Jet Li was really cute in that movie (I was also 3 so I don’t know why I’m thinking that way, but whatever), but like Jet Li was bald in that movie because it was about a Shaolin Temple. I think at the time my Dad showed me that movie I already showed an interest in movies from my own heritage, so that’s why he showed me that. But like I can’t remember anything else. I suppose it could have been something my grandpa watched because sometimes he’d watch a Chinese movie when I was playing in the living room and I’d stop to watch too and then he’d fast-forward through the intimacy scenes, but because I’d just look over at something he was already watching I have no idea what any of those were.

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honeybumbbles · 4 years

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The Numbering System.

I’ve been thinking about it after watching The Umbrella Academy again, and the idea that Reginald numbered the Children to their usefulness makes a lot more sense when you think about the fact that he knew what was going to happen in the future.

I know that everybody thinks he numbered them in backwards order from how strong they are, and while I think that may be partly true, you can also look at it from how useful the children are to him.

Number 7 = If he knew about the future than he obviously knew about the apocalypse. This means that he knows that Vanya will end up being the cause of this apocalypse. This combined with the fact that she has the hardest controlling her power, even when she was sure of her self, - The Dinner scene in S2 - makes her the least useful to Reginald. In terms of controlling her and what she can offer him currently and in the future.

Number 6 = Ben dies, therefor becomes less useful to Reginald. The reason he isn’t Number 7 is because of 3 reasons.

- 1) He wanted to keep Vanya feeling as insignificant as possible and giving her the lowest number helped a lot in feeling ostracized from her siblings.

- 2) Ben was still useful to Reginald while he was alive. He was easier to control and his power was helpful when it came to missions.

-3) When Ben died he was useful by keeping Klaus company. Not only did he support Klaus for a long while but he actually helped him learn new tricks with his power, like making ghosts able to touch physical objects.

Number 5 = Five goes to the Future, and so therefor isn’t useful to Reginald in the present. While it can be argued that Five is the main reason that The Umbrella Academy survives apocalypse because he comes back and informs the rest of the family that it’s coming, which starts the domino effect, both times, he leaves so early in the timeline he can’t directly help Reginald. Plus he was very difficult to control to the point where he ran away, though it can also be argued that Reginald manipulated Five into running away, with the direct knowledge that in doing so Five would see the end of the world.

Number 4 = Klaus while being hard for Reginald to control, his power was much more useful to Reginald, not only is his potential for his power something that neither of them know. Could Klaus bring Reginald back to life? He doesn’t know but there’s a good chance he could. But even the basic principles could be useful. Talking to some dead person who they need to get important information which in itself could be very useful to Reginald.

Number 3 = Allison’s power is much more obvious in how it’s useful to Reginald. In fact he has had her use it before, on Vanya, for his own use. The only problem with her is that because of her power she is so used to getting her own way that should Reginald ask her to do something that she really doesn’t want to do he could be on the wrong end of her rumor which makes her difficult to control, and higher stakes for if something went wrong. But the usefulness of her power over takes the cons of having her under his thumb.

Number 2 = Not only his power useful in an everyday sense, the ability to control trajectories a pretty useful power but because of his stutter and the fact that he’s Number 2 creates a lot of self esteem issues that are easy for Reginald to manipulate in to a need for Diego to prove himself to his Father.

Number 1 = This pretty self explanatory, Luther’s powers are pretty weak compared to the other children so placing him lower would create an inferiority complex that can’t be soothed by the fact that his power is more impressive. Not only that but his power is the easiest and least noticeable - before the accident - to use which means that Reginald can bring him along and use his powers whenever he wants. Luther’s power is also the power that you can use the most often, to open a jar, lift a car etc. Not only that but the fact the Luther is Number 1 creates a superiority complex that keeps him fighting to stay Number 1 and to continue to please his Father.

So this is why I think that Reginald could have still numbered them based of usefulness to him instead of how strong their powers were. Because in that case I would argue that Five should lower than Allison, as they didn’t actually know that he could time travel, while they all knew that Allison had Reality bending powers, which I think at that stage of numbering is a lot stronger.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #Diego hargreeves #reginald hargreeves

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staygoldaj · 3 years

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Analysis on the MHA Girls

(Part I: Uraraka & Momo)

I know that the fandom tends to dislike these queens and push them aside, and I know Hori doesn't really know how to write women, but what he has given us is great and I wish the fans would appreciate these awesome ladies more. So here's an analysis for my girls, I wanna do an analysis on the three musketeers (broccoli, popcorn, & candy cane) so that'll be posted soon too :)

Uraraka

BEST. GIRL. I love Uraraka so much, she is the reason why I started watching MHA and she's such a sweetheart, I wish she wasn't so hated amongst the fandom.

We first meet her as this wholesome, bubbly girl who saves Midoriya from falling, and it's pretty clear that she's gonna be the main love interest. Honestly, I was a little disappointed during her first few scenes. Like I said, she was the reason why I started MHA, and she turns out to be the typical sweet girl the main dude has a crush on. I didn't have high hopes tbh. What first intrigued me was when she admits her reasons for becoming a hero. You would never expect the innocent girl-next-door love interest to be doing something for money. Even she herself says it's "such an unwholesome motivation" in comparison to Midoriya's and Iida's reasons, and she gets praised for "looking out for herself." This is the first misconception I see often on her character; she wants money for herself because she's poor. If you look into her reasons, she just wants to make money for her parents, not for her, so that her parents can take it easy. She is just as selfless as Midoriya and Kirishima, but I don't see her get praised for her selflessness nearly as much as for those two or other characters. I also really like the small flashback they included; her father tells her to not worry about them and to follow her dreams. Whether at the start Uraraka truly wanted to be a hero or solely did it for the money is up for interpretation. I personally think she started solely for the money, which I'll get into after I talk about the Sports Festival.

Uraraka vs. Bakugo is one of the most emotional fights in my opinion, and it's one of my favorites. EVERYONE in that stadium underestimated her. I'm not going to say that the reason was because she was a woman, but rather, Bakugo is pretty ruthless and powerful, where as she is not, and people knew that. The fact that she was a "small young girl" just added more fuel to that, if that makes sense. And this best girl did what she could to prove EVERYONE wrong. This is where Uraraka proves that she isn't a typical sweet shonen love interest and I wish people took notice in that. People think of ambitious, determined, driven, cunning, and powerful women as dark and mysterious, femme fatale so to speak. But this fight shows that Uraraka, a pretty extroverted, kind, and bubbly person, is all of those qualities, just as ambitious and determined as the strongest male characters in the show, such as Bakugo and Todoroki.

And when she loses the fight (after basically passing out btw, queen didn't stop until the very end), she doesn't just mope and quit and wait for encouraging words from her love interest, she 1. GIVES the encouraging words TO her love interest and 2. she understands that her quirk alone isn't going to be enough to get her to the top, so she carefully chooses a hero agency where she knows she will be taught combat, AND SHE LEARNS. The next time her class is attacked by villains, she single-handedly takes down one of the more dangerous members without a quirk, just with the fighting skills she took the time to learn.

Back to what I said earlier, Uraraka started her hero journey solely for money. This plays directly into her development in seasons 3 and 4, which is criminally underrated. She sees her entire class working harder than ever, and even though she's dealing with unfamiliar emotions, she decides to push those emotions aside to not fall behind, determined to be a good student and hero like her classmates. During the events at Shie Hassaikai, Uraraka finally learns the true environment a hero works in. Failing to save Nighteye, she realizes that what she truly wants for herself isn't money or Midoriya, it's being a hero who saves people. I believe Nighteye's death directly ties into the "who protects heroes when they need protection?" line. This recent chapter in the manga makes me think that she's gonna do something big and go through a character arc. I said this on Twitter and I'll say it here, I want Uraraka to become a hero who protects heroes (whatever that could mean, it has a nice ring to it lol). Honestly, her character has sm potential, I'm excited for what Horikoshi has in store for her.

Momo

God is a woman and that woman is Momo Yaoyorozu. I'm tired of people calling her annoying because of one episode, as if you've never had self-esteem problems before 🙄 so now I'm going to talk about why she's amazing 😋

My initial impression of Momo was the typical smart girl, stern, formal, and aloof, but still caring. And as I rewatch the series, I believe this is what Horikoshi was going for at first. I think her voice was deeper in the first season too. As much as I love the Erza type of characters, I love where Horikoshi ended up going with Momo. As a teenage girl, I find the arc she went through during season 2 very relatable. It's obvious that Momo was raised to have full confidence in herself. While she may not show it like Bakugo does, I think it's obvious that she's not used to losing, she was probably praised for having an amazing quirk growing up, like Bakugo, but is a way more humble about it because she was raised differently. So at the Sports Festival, she experiences losing, seemingly for the first time, in a place where she just can't afford to lose. But she does. And this takes a huge toll on her.

She's rich, pretty, the top student in class, and admired by her peers, but obviously that's not what mattered to Momo. What mattered to her most in that moment was looking good in front of agencies, what mattered most was to be a worthy hero, and she feels like she's failed. She seeks guidance from a female hero, hoping to have a female role model guide her through issues she has as a 15 year old girl, but instead finds herself being used for her looks. Again, Momo doesn't care about any of that, she just wants to be considered a worthy hero, and her defeat at the Sports Festival made her completely lose the confidence she needed to accomplish that goal.

Now we have the Yaoyorozu Rising episode. Fans who hate her often refer to this episode as "evidence for Todomomo", "her being annoying by not knowing what to do," etc. etc. etc. 🙄

I like Todomomo. It's a cute and healthy ship. There are WAY more Todomomo scenes, not in this episode. Todoroki is a side character in Momo's story in this episode. This episode is MOMO'S. Sorry but she’s not sharing the spotlight. I know that seems a little aggressive, sorry, but this episode shows a lot of development in Momo, and it just gets brushed off as Todomomo content when it's not. She did know what to do, btw, she has a plan. She didn't know how to communicate that. She didn't want to communicate that. She was scared that her plan wouldn't work. She was scared that she'd fail. All of that stems back to her defeat at the Sports Festival, she has lost a major amount of confidence, and Aizawa and Todoroki notice this. Aizawa even says that her actions are of a normal 15 year old girl's, and even though he wished to help her, he couldn't, so Todoroki does it in his place. This is something I notice about Momo that is one of the most relatable things I've ever seen in a teenage girl in not just shonen, anime but just in fiction in general: she knows she has a good plan, but she doesn't have confidence in it until someone else gives her the validation. Upon seeing that others trust her, she regains her confidence and fulfills her plans with excellency. She is a REALISTIC 15 YEAR OLD GIRL which is honestly SO refreshing to see in a work of fiction. It's what I love about her character: she represents many teenagers, girls, boys, and theys alike.

And yeah, it might've been annoying if she had stayed the "has good plans but only executes them if she gets the validation from others" type of character. But she doesn't. By season 3, she has shown a significant amount of growth. She is shown to be more of a leader now that she's more confident in herself, and she's still dealing with it (that one scene with Sero & Jiro 💀), but she's gotten a lot better after realizing her worth, after realizing the trust others have in her, after realizing that others see her as an intelligent leader. So in the forest, she quickly comes up with a plan and executes it quickly. Had she not done this, had she not thought and acted quickly, who knows how long it would've taken before the heroes found Bakugo.

Another thing I want to mention before I finish Momo's section- at the hospital, All Might calls her a worthy hero because of her actions. It was her inability to act quickly at the Sports Festival that made her doubt her worth, and it's her ability to act quickly that makes All Might see it. I think this plays a major role for her character, maybe why she ultimately decided to go on the mission to save Bakugo. She's gonna have some of the spotlight to herself during the Joint Training Battle.

I also want to mention something from the manga, if you don't want spoilers then don't read this part.

Some of Midnight's last words in the manga are "Yaoyorozu's going to make a fine leader someday," which shows how her peers and mentors alike notice her potential. Additionally, she proves this statement right by quickly coming up with a plan to stop Gigantomachia. I'm very excited to see how Momo develops into an even more inspiring leader as the manga continues.

#mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #momo yaoyorozu #ochaco uraraka #character analysis #anime

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 3 years

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Underrated///Brie Larson's Album

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So ... Ugly.

The truth is that I did not expect to discover that Brie had started singing so young. Finally Out Of P.E. It was released in 2005 when she was sixteen years old. She was basically still a child and the video above proves it. For me it is inevitable to compare her with Taylor. First, because Taylor started in music a year before Brie and they both share the same year of birth, 1989. Except that Brie started working in the film industry at the age of ten. I think even before that too.

But what I come to. FOOPE (the album). It was very underrated at the time, because the lyrics of the songs were very teen. There was no PR circus behind the album. In fact, she said this about the theme of it:

"I really don't have a lot of experience with guys ..." (cough, cough, Camila, cough, cough)

But outside of that, the lyrics on the album are pretty sad. Three of her most emo songs are Loser In Me, Invisible Girl and my favorite, Ugly.

Lyrics:

"Ugly"

My insides are turning inside out

Leaving my heart, my flaws all hanging out

What's so interesting about little ol me

All I see inside is so ordinary

I can't look at myself

I can't find nothing special hiding in me

I can't look at myself

U tell me it's there to see but all i see is so ... ugly

It's not like I'd put a gun to my head

I really try to listen to all you've said

If I could only sleep a long while

Maybe tomorrow I'll feel a speck worthwhile

I can't look at myself

I can't find nothing special hiding in me

I can't look at myself

U tell me it's there to see but all i see is so

I'm lucky to have a liar as good as you

I wish I could feel as good as you do

So I'll follow your lead

Hoping to see something good in me

I can't look at myself

I can't find nothing special hiding in me

I can't look at myself

U tell me it's there to see but all I see is so ... ugly

My insides are turning inside out

Leaving my heart, my flaws all hanging out.

If Brie has said that the album is based on her personal experience, I can't imagine what her life must have been like as a teenager in the industry. Not just with this underrated album, but in Hollywood.

I remember she said she described herself for a long time

That she is an introvert with asthma, which was her story for a long time. "I'm an introvert, I'm scared, I have social anxiety." And she doesn't identify that way anymore.

youtube

But for me it is sad to know that. That she lived so long under this depressing concept of herself and what she went through with Captain Marvel has only made it worse.

From what I have been able to see in her videos, she really has the undervaluation issues about her. I don't know if folks have noticed, but Brie loves to mark her name on clothing and purses.

In psychology that shows someone who is more than self-centered, she has self-esteem problems. She talks about someone who needs reinforcement of the appraisal and apparently Brie is still dealing with the old demons of hers (plus she talked about having eating problems for a long time).

I don't have the video where I saw that part or read it, but it's what I remember.

I don't know why I feel that her ability to recreate very dramatic characters comes from her own personal experience, where Brie has the opportunity to let that part of herself flow into the dramatic characters that she plays and at the same time free herself, purge herself of that side. of herself who, with what I've seen, is still struggling.

I guess that's why her participation in the Hot Ones web series with Sean Evans still breaks my heart a bit where Brie was commenting on her "unintentional participation" in the Kardashian-Jenner photo of the Met Gala bathroom in 2017, where she said that he didn't know any of the cool kids and at the same time he was fingering his face with hot sauce. Sean Evans told her to take care of her and she surprised said something like "thank you for taking care of me". Not with those same words, but the same meaning and that was what broke my heart because it makes you understand that they never protected her from her. And no, I don't mean her family or friends but her work environment. The industry. That shit hole where she's been since she was little.

I think what has saved Brie even though it doesn't suit her career much is being away from the main focus. Having had to fight a lot to be where she is, because despite the fact that she has become recognized after the Oscar and more for her drama in Captain Marvel and the MCU, she is not a new face. She has worked her entire life in the industry with more or less luck and that's the screw of the show. Reaching the top is one thing, sticking to it is quite another and you have to be willing to fight to get there.

For one reason or another I identify with Brie and hers struggles with hers, I guess that's why I like her so much, even though there are a lot of bigger and more popular names than her.

Despite her struggles, she remains true to herself and that is something that I will always admire and love.

#brie larson #finally out of pe #ugly #underrated #captain marvel #hot ones #sean evans #met gala #low self esteem #personal thoughts #Youtube

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sweetwritertanya · 4 years

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Perfect to Me

Summary: After you see an interview with Jimin, your boyfriend, something he says breaks your heart. And you get incredibly mad at him.

Warnings: fluff and angst! Not a lot of angst, just enough to make the fluff even sweeter, in my opinion.

Word Count: 1830

It shouldn’t hurt you like it did. It really shouldn’t. A part of you knows he didn’t mean it the way you taken it, that if he only knew how bad it would hit you, he would have sewed his own mouth shut to keep the words from falling out. But he still said it, and you heard it. And it hurt so much.

On an interview after one particular memorable aerial silk dance he had with another female idol for a big award show, Jimin was asked a very common question whenever collaborations like these occurred. He was asked what he thought of his dancing partner and how she did. You would have been fine with pretty much any other compliment he gave her, except for the one thing he ended up saying.

Looking down at the petite blushing girl next to him, Jimin smiled coyly, his eyes almost disappearing behind his cheeks, before answering.

“She was amazing, as always. Aerial dancing is very difficult, but she is quick on the feet and so light like a feather. She is perfect, really.”

When you heard that, siting on your couch after a long day at work, having turned on the TV just to see his performance, it completely shattered your heart. Perfect. He called her perfect. A woman that couldn’t be farther away from you, was perfect to him. Why was he even with you, then?

The few tears that managed to escape your eyes were quickly wiped from your chubby cheeks as you turned off the television. The painful shock of his words had transformed into absolute rage. Fuming, you turned off your phone and stormed into your bedroom, slamming the door to the empty apartment. If he knew what was good for him, he would stay away from you for the next few days.

Of course, he didn’t.

The very next day, it was Friday and you spent your whole day distracted at work because of him, those haunting words replaying over and over on your mind, fueling your hurt and anger. You kept your phone off, just in case he even dared calling or texting you. He did worse.

After getting home, you had just enough time to shower and start preparing your dinner when your doorbell rang. Opening your front door, your eyes widened and your mouth fell open, unable to believe the audacity of this person.

“Cupcake, your phone is off, did you know?” he asks nonchalant, coming in without invitation with a sparkle on his eyes as he kept something behind his back.

You didn’t even close the door, you just eyed him with incredulity, lips still parted but hands turning into fists at your sides. He didn’t notice, moving to close the door on your stead, and smiling angelically at you when he reveals the box he had on his hands behind his back.

“Surprise! Your favorite chocolates” he says in a happy tune, placing them on the nearby counter of your kitchen and opening the box himself, completely oblivious to your frustration with him. “I may have a few myself, I’ve been craving sweets since I started practicing for yesterday’s performance. Here.”

He picks up one chocolate in between his index finger and thumb, holding it up to your firmly shut lips, only now noticing you frown. A mixture of confusion and worry take over his expression and you feel a pang of guilt, never liking to see that expression on his face. But you had a good reason to be angry at him. A very good reason.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, when you turn your face away and move to the stove, where you had been previously cooking your dinner. “You never refused a chocolate before.”

And again, a twinge of guilt pulls at your hurting heart, because your love for chocolate was a big reason for your chubby figure. If only you had been able to say no to the devil’s treat a bit more often, then maybe you wouldn’t have grown so big. But that didn’t matter now.

“Well, I’m starting to refuse chocolates from now on” you spat, not able to look at him as you turned off the stove, your hands shaking a bit at how mad you were. “Especially from you.”

That seemed to trigger his anxiety and he was now right by your side, hands hoovering above your body, as if unsure if he could even reach for you or not. Good thing, because you would slap his hands away if he dared touch you.

“W-What’s wrong? Are you angry with me?” he asks in a hesitant whisper next to you, eyes trying to reach for yours but you refuse to look at him.

“I don’t know, you tell me” you bark back, moving away from him and going to open your main door again. “Maybe you should leave and go think about it for a few days.”

In a flash he was right in front of you, right hand slamming the door shut behind you and a shaky hand grabbing your wrist. You finally looked up at him and you swallowed down a bump in your throat as you noticed his tear filled eyes. His cheeks and ears were turning red as he tried his best to not cry, but his glassy slim eyes wouldn’t hold on much longer.

“I-I’m sorry. Whatever it was I did, I’m sorry. P-Please don’t be angry at me” he begs in unstable breaths, the hand on your wrist holding you just a bit tighter than before.

“How? How can I not be mad at you, Jimin?!” you finally snap, your own eyes prickling as you force your wrist away from his grasp and lift your chin up. “I told you! I told you, when we started dating, that I had self-esteem issues! I told you it made no sense in my mind that somebody like you wanted to date somebody like me!” The first tear rolled down your cheek and it killed you to see his own falling down too. “Just go away, Jimin! Go away and be with someone you actually want! Your perfect girlfriend.”

You try to move away, avoid that intense hurt gaze he was staring at you with, but he pins your back to the door using his own body, pressing himself against you and both of his small hands are grabbing your cheeks. He flinches just for a moment under your boiling scrutiny.

“Y/N, please!” he sniffs. “Don’t send me away. I want you, I love you. You are my perfect girlfriend already, please!”

“Liar” you cry out, your own voice cracking now. “You said she was perfect. The girl from yesterday. Quick on her feet, light like a feather and perfect” you finally explained.

“Oh, cupcake…” he exhales, realization hitting him at last. But you don’t let him talk, your anger and hurt screaming to come out.

“You know how hard it was… for me to believe you liked me. How I always thought you would be better off with someone like her instead of me. And now… now that I finally had some confidence in your feelings for me, some confidence in myself for once, you went ahead and said something like that. You said she was perfect, Jimin.”

Your voice sounded pathetic even in your own ears and you felt yourself blush in embarrassment at the admission of your frail mentality. But soon Jimin is kissing your tears away, even with his own cheeks still stained with his, hands soothing your sensitive skin, and whispering apologies and sweet words to you as he did so.

“Sorry… My beautiful Y/N, it’s my fault.” He pressed his forehead against yours and waits until you lift your eyes to his before he explains himself. “I meant she was perfect for the aerial dance. Not that she was perfect to me.”

It takes you a moment to process what he said and he has a knowing smile tugging at his lips when realization hits you. You suddenly feel like the biggest idiot on the world, but also a sense of relief washes over you completely. Getting angry again, but this time for complete different reasons, you hit him on the chest with absolutely no strength.

“You idiot!” you cry. “Why did you say it like that? Why did you not explain it sooner? It hurt me so much!”

His arms wrap around you tightly, making you burry your head on his chest as he kisses your temple lovingly. Your arms go around his waist loosely, still embarrassed at everything.

“I’m sorry, cupcake. It was my fault, I misspoke and didn’t even realize it. I’ll never make a dumb mistake like that again, okay?” he promises against your hair.

“No, I’m sorry… I got angry and instead of trying to talk it out with you, I just shut you out” you admit, knowing damn well you needed to change that. “So much for being your perfect girlfriend, am I right?”

Your last words were muffled against his chest, but he heard them nonetheless. Pulling on your hair just slightly to make you look up at him, he crashes his full soft lips into yours for a loving kiss, full of relief and want and passion. His mouth nibbles at yours until you open up, his expert tongue coming out to make your knees wobbly at the pleasurable sensation it evoked.

Alongside his fresh minty taste, you could taste the salty tears that had spilled from his eyes. You felt so bad for making him cry over a misunderstanding that your arms moved to the back of his neck and pulled him even down further, enticing a moan from the depth of his throat as his hands grasped tightly at the rolls on your sides, to keep him steady. With a last flick of your tongue on his sensitive lips, you part in order to breathe.

“You are perfect, cupcake. No matter what, you are perfect to me” he assured you, hands roaming up and down your back.

“Even with all my insecurities?” you sniffle.

“Yes.” He rubs his nose against yours.

“Even if I’ll always be chubby and can’t say no to chocolates?” you persist, although a bit more cheerfully this time.

He chuckles and pushes your body a bit more strongly against his lean one, a hand on your waist and another moving down to your bum. He presses a chaste kiss against your lips when you gasp at his squeeze.

“Especially if so. Don’t you know how fun it is to hold you?” he smirks that devilish smile at you, that never quite stops taking your breath away or your heart race against your ribcage.

“Hum, maybe you need to remind me” you offer teasingly, pulling a bit on your arms around his neck.

“Whatever my cupcake says” he eagerly agrees, making you giggle as he leans down to kiss you again.

#bts chubby reader #bts chubby!reader #btsxchubby reader #jimin #jimin x reader #bts jimn #bts imagine #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #plus size reader #kpop fluff #fluff #bangtang boys #angst

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