rat-man-speaks

[rat-man-speaks]

wildest dollarama experience today, my pal was looking at the nail polish and this random guy comes up and looks me in the eyes and says « purple! always purple »

so now i have purple nails

#purple #nailpolish #story time #dollarama #interacting with people #stranger

[rat-man-speaks]

horrid update: with very little warning i ended up getting my drivers license picture taken today and now the ratstache is gonna live forever :,)

finally gave into The Transmasculine Urge™️ to dye the peachfuzz on top of my lips black to match my hair and now i have the grimiest rat-like dirtstache but oh joyous day the euphoria

#and i managed to avoid the skin somehow too #so it’s like #actually decent looking #himbo brain go brrrr #lgbtq+ #transgender #rat boy #masculine urge #euphoria #transmasc #trans man #trans life hack #ftm

[rat-man-speaks]

#shrek #shrekcore #goblincore #fresh memes #shrek memes #brexit #shrexy #lgbtq+

[rat-man-speaks]

finally gave into The Transmasculine Urge™️ to dye the peachfuzz on top of my lips black to match my hair and now i have the grimiest rat-like dirtstache but oh joyous day the euphoria

#and i managed to avoid the skin somehow too #so it’s like #actually decent looking #himbo brain go brrrr #lgbtq+ #transgender #rat boy #masculine urge #euphoria #transmasc #trans man #trans life hack #ftm

[rat-man-speaks]

make all the “you’re ace? ahah so you’re a plant” jokes you want but as an ace guy let me just say i feed off of sunlight like some photosynthesis shit so you’re not all that far off

#maybe im a plant #asexual #lgbtq #ace #aroace #photosynthesis #aromantic

[rat-man-speaks]

whenever im telling a story involving my deadname (not often), i use a completely different name.

i’ve got at least 3 people thinking my deadname was sarah, 4 who could swear it was denise, and a couple of stragglers who are convinced it was kelly, or lucinda, or abby, etc.

the best part is that if i ever do mess up and use my real deadname, nobody’s gonna believe it.

#trans man #transgender #deadname #trans jokes #trans memes #trans life hack #life hacks #gay #queer #lgbtq+ #2slgbtq+

[rat-man-speaks]

pissing and sobbing rn i just realized the ear-worm i’ve been loudly humming all day was stacey’s mom

#stacey’s mom has got it going on #today was a day #sorry to everyone i saw #this is a public apology #if you heard me no you didn’t

[rat-man-speaks]

i made a NOT PROFESSIONAL OR MEDICALLY APPROVED guide to how i do my stick and poke tattoos so here you go:

#tattoos #tattoo #stick and poke #tutorial #stick n poke

[rat-man-speaks]

join our cult niche alternative lifestyle!

@bigdcircus on instagram

https://instagram.com/bigdcircus

#not a cult #clown #join us #hive mind #we are one #there is no escape

[rat-man-speaks]

i’m convinced that the whole “gay people only drink iced beverages” stereotype stems from us all being super hot 24/7

#lgbtq #iced coffee #queer community

[rat-man-speaks]

who gives a shit about your zodiac sign, which rat are you

i’m vibing with 14 (morris costumes 27002 disgusting rat), and 6 (sewer rat lightweight mascot costume)

#my favourite thing to do #is searching up diy rat costume #i have no more spare time #this has consumed me #i need one of these #zodic signs #ratblr #ratcore #fuck zodiac signs

[rat-man-speaks]

may i present to you:

Thoroughbred Sheeran

#tw ed sheeran #centaur #what in the percy jackson kid shit #hehe get it #thoroughbr-Ed Sheeran #it’s a pun #i’m gonna stop now #brb gonna go sob #my search history has been slaughtered after this #horses #horse girl

[rat-man-speaks]

so i was sitting on my roof talking to the crows (my neighbourhood was built in a rookery so half the cities crows come here at night, they know my face and follow me around) and i’m cawing and squawking like any self respecting person would do when my across the street neighbour runs out of his house and suddenly stops when he sees me.

him: “oh, thought you were a cool bird”

me: “nope ahah sorry, just me”

him: “oh, ok.”

and then he went back into his house

but it doesn’t end there

i went and kept cawing back at the crows (what else was i to do), and a couple minutes later the neighbours go and shut off all of their lights, all of them. the house just looks like one of those houses you’re taught to avoid on halloween. it wasn’t a power outage, it was only their house. and it was right after The Cool Bird Incident™️.

did i scare them? maybe a little.

do i still talk back to the crows? yeah.

#crows #my neighbors hate me #rooftop #murder of crows

[rat-man-speaks]

how does one tumbl

[rat-man-speaks]

just called my friend so he could explain to me how to use a dishwasher and i still managed to mess up

#dishwashers #why is that a tag #himbo brain go brrrr #at least the dishes were warm when they came out

[rat-man-speaks]

oh crap, i’m gonna be a super dysfunctional adult

#uh oh lads #girlboss moment #i need to stop calling people bestie #what’s a responsibility #i can’t do taxes send help