#& things like the witch panic are a symptom of that collapse

[bookshelfdreams]

americans learn what the middle ages are challenge

#15th century? that's the very very tail end (depending on what landmark you chose for an end) #16th century? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT #and also the witch hunts weren't really a medieval thing they mostly took place in the early modern era #and largely weren't perpetuated by 'the church' #and the inquisition spanish or otherwise had nothing to do with them #because church doctrine actually was that belief in witchcraft is superstition; only god is all-powerful #yes heinrich kramer called himself institoris. that doesnt mean anything it's just a fancy title he gave himself. #and hey guess what! protestant regions were way worse about killing witches than catholic ones. 'the church'? that's catholicism babe #do you see the flaw in your argument #anyway of course theres not an exact endpoint to the middle ages however #it's a period of a relatively stable socioeconomic system that collapses for various reasons #& things like the witch panic are a symptom of that collapse #so to talk about that in the same breath as *actual* medieval folklore & blame them on 'the church' #(when the catholic church losing power and influence was ALSO part of that collapse!) #is careless and silly #esp when you call yourself a historian #rant over

[elminx]

Somebody cursed me and this is what happened

I go back and forth on sharing this story. Partly because the details are personal, partly because I don't feel like being gaslighted by people who don't believe in cursing, partly because there is a piece of my ego that wants to make sure that this person never, ever knows that she hurt me.

But I think that it's important information to spread through the witchcraft community because if you're involved with witches, there is a chance that you will get cursed. My hope here is not to scare you but to inform you both of how it happens and how it plays out.

I have bolded text in this that I consider to be the symptoms of the curse.

The first part of being cursed is that you have to know a witch or other magical practitioner. I met her through some friends of friends - she was rude to me from day one. It was very obvious that something about me triggered her. I tried to be nice despite it - I accepted her Facebook friends request, I tried to engage with her when we shared space with one another.

I just need to be clear from the beginning - somebody cursed me and I didn't deserve it. I hadn't done anything to her. I barely knew her. I actually really wanted to like her. Everybody had told me how much I would like her...

How it began: I got sick. Really sick. I have an over-active immune system so even when I do catch a virus, it tends to be quite mild. This was something else. I had a host of miss-matching symptoms that didn't add up to a diagnosis. Every test came back completely normal. I saw every specialist that I could (very rightfully quite worried about these symptoms that weren't going away) and none of them could find anything wrong with me. Despite this, my symptoms would persist for more than a year.

Then came the obsessive thoughts about her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I thought that every woman on the street looked like her. It was like being in love except also the total opposite. The thoughts were strangely fearful, moody, and dark.

Then, I saw her. It had been a couple of months since I'd last been around her. She walked into a room that I was in and I had an instant panic attack. I went into full-on flight mode. That's...not particularly normal for me. (I have anxiety but its mostly a mild buzz not intense like that) I was starting to feel that something was wrong but at that point, I had no idea what it was.

A week later, my husband and I were setting up for an outside booth for my business and he slipped on a strip on wet grass and broke his back. Instead of a weekend of making $$$$, I spent the day in the ER which also cost $$$$. This stopped us from being able to attend a group event where said witch was going to also be.

My life immediately fell apart. My partner couldn't work which was costing us money and I hadn't made money at the show which had lost me the cost of attending the show itself. I was managing my house on my own and my cat was getting...very sick. Losing weight fast. Not walking right. Peeing in places that he shouldn't be.

$$$$ later, the vet confirmed that it was feline diabetes. So we buy him insulin, needles, a blood testing kit. In a Summer without income, even more $$$$. But it's okay - we love him, anything for our baby. We were glad for a diagnosis. But then he goes into remission suddenly and completely which causes him to almost die from hypoglycemia after we give him insulin and we have to rush him to the emergency vets on a Saturday afternoon - and it costs us, even more, $$$$.

In the middle of this, I do one show because I'd already paid for it and I can't bear the thought of losing more money to not attending things. I get a friend to help me set up since my partner is out of commission with a broken back. And we get a freak storm that drops EIGHT INCHES OF RAIN in a single morning which collapses and destroys my vendor tend. I have to replace it - again, costing me $$$$ in a Summer without income.

By now, I am sure that something is wrong. I have connected the Summer string of misfortunes to seeing this witch (and to that super weird panic attack) but I can't really understand why she would do something like this to me. I barely know her - I've met her 4-5 times top. I've been nice.

I enter the fall show season with trepidation but my job is my job, I need to do it. At my first show of the season, I notice something weird. It's like nobody even sees my booth. Every customer is just walking right by it. Not even looking. I want you to understand - I am an artist. My art is VERY COLORFUL. Even at shows when I don't make sales, my art garners attention. Lots of it. People treat my booth like an art museum (which I love and encourage).

But...nothing. Except, a feeling of being watched is growing down my spine. And she is in my head. I can feel her.

I think that I knew that day but even then, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I just couldn't understand why she would have done something like this to me. It's not that I didn't understand or believe in cursing - it's just...I have principles. I would never curse somebody unless they deserved it. That was my first mistake - assuming that she would follow similar principles to me.

I went home and I did my normal magic. I protected my business. I burned a green candle to work on my prosperity. None of it really did much and I spent the rest of the fall at shows without a single customer. Not even a Lookie Loo.

The holiday season was approaching and I had two final shows to do. I was feeling more defeated than ever before. I was ready to quit. But I'm also an intuitive witch and I knew in my bones that this was not right, not natural. And so I created a trap. Still working my protective magics around my business, I wove some revealing magic into my workings. If this is witchcraft, let it be revealed.

My very last show of the season was at a local high school. I'd had a moderately good day (right before Christmas people will look at EVERYTHING at an art show). And who should come around the corner but this very witch in a complete tizzy. Think the Tasmanian devil from those old Looney Tunes cartoons. I greet her pretty much out of instinct and she gives me a look of death. For real - if looks could actually kill, I would not be here to tell you this story.

I've gotta tell you - if somebody gives you a look like that, trust them. They have just shown you their true selves. Whatever the reason (which, in the end, isn't really my business, is it?) she really, deeply hated me.

Even then, I went to see a reader who confirmed both the curse and the source (it turns out they knew her because magical communities are small and they were able to identify it as her without me having said her name).

I want to be clear before I continue that EVEN THEN, I reached out to her. I asked her to meet me somewhere to talk. I tried to make peace.

When that didn't work, I reversed her shit right back up her own ass. As was my right. I was fairly careful, too. I made sure to state that only things that she had sent my way be sent back to her (so that I didn't send her other misfortunes of mine which you can very easily do with a reversal spell). I even cast a protection spell on her husband so that he wouldn't break his back like mine had because this wasn't his fault.

My luck came back immediately. I started seeing an almost immediate increase in views and sales of my art. But more interestingly, and completely surprisingly to me (as I had not identified my sickness as an aspect of the curse) - all of my mystery symptoms went away. Overnight. As did my panic and generalized anxiety. And my obsessive thoughts about her.

I wish that there was a good moral to this story. But the truth is, no matter who you are, no matter how kind, or friendly, or open-hearted, some people won't like you. And, as I learned the hard way, if they are schooled in witchcraft and unstable - they might just curse you apparently for the fun of it(?). I'm still not anti-curse but if you ever wonder why I will double down so hard on doing your shadow work BEFORE you curse somebody, this is why.

And...fuck her. May she rot in hell. She hurt my husband badly. She almost killed my cat. And...for what? Because she was jealous? Because she's emotionally unstable?

Those aren't good reasons to curse people, kids.

A justified curse is a beautiful thing. But if you are out there all petty cursing randos, you might just accidentally curse a witch and...well then...you get what you deserve.

#witchblr #words #mine #curses #curse work #personal #I want to be very clear that I had almost no protections at the time #and was barely casting witchcraft #so really she did me a favor #and made me so much stronger as a witch #and you can sure AF know that nothing she ever does can touch me again #because now I'm aware

[painted-crow]

Did you model Bookkeeper Badger or Courtier Badger most of the time ?

In regards to the past tense you're using--it's the Badger primary model I dropped. Which, I've held on to some of its ideals, but they're just another part of my Bird primary system, and that feels very different.

My Badger secondary model is still good and kicking though!

I was just gonna write about how I use it (and how I try not to use it) to answer this ask, but then it turned into

Secondary Toast Revolving Door, Part 3

(Badger model edition)

and I'm just gonna roll with it.

I did have an unhealthy way I used my Badger secondary model that was... either extreme Bookkeeper, or it's actually been unhealthy Lion secondary all along and I've been mis-Sorting it and this is why the idea of using Lion secondary wigs me out a little. (It's fine when other people use it, but I find the prospect of using it myself at least slightly terrifying.)

Part of my problem is that I'm way too used to situations where pushing through despite feeling like I was about to collapse was the only option. It's probably got to do with... well, some childhood stuff I won't go into too deeply. My mom was in the hospital a lot. The school situation I was in just made everything worse. It's complicated.

Anyway, if I'm under stress, I dissociate out exhaustion, hunger, emotional distress, and even physical pain for hours or days at a time, and I can buckle down and hyperfocus on work (in what would be panic mode if I were more aware of my emotions during these periods). It sounds useful and badass but it really isn't.

Downside #1 is that I will eventually feel the effects of that panic, and any other needs I've been ignoring--it might be at a more convenient time, but those effects definitely won't be lessened.

Downside #2 is traumatic burnout. Do not try this at home. (I always hesitate to use the word "trauma" for my experiences, but the physical reaction I get to writing about some of this stuff says otherwise.)

Downside #3 is that I don't get to choose when my brain does or doesn't do this. It just happens when I'm under stress. I can't count how many times I've had an actual migraine and not noticed why I was so irritable for hours, when I could have taken something.

Downside #4 is that it works. This is possibly the worst one, because the phrase "do your best" takes on a cold sweat-inducing new meaning. My little "ability" has led to some absolutely buckwild performances under deadline, none of which I want to repeat, and I'm not sure I like knowing how much I can get done if I prioritize not failing over not burning out.

(On that note, if you thought my Badger primary model was Exploded last year, you should've seen it 3-4 years ago. I remember when this Kitten Witch post first went up, because I was like "...what? wait--")

In short, this is a very shitty superpower and I would like to re-roll.

I'm undecided whether this is a Badger flavored emergency mode, or the only Lion secondary I can recall using. I lean towards Badger because I have this pathological inability to half-ass anything, and it does not go away during emergencies. But it's possible that it felt Badger flavored because my unhealthy Badger primary model was egging it on with its self deprecating (...self dehumanizing?) exploded Badger crap.

So, wanna know how I got into these nasty deadline crunch situations where emergency hardcore Badger mode became "necessary"?

(I feel like I should reiterate my trigger warning on this series about now: we're talking about gifted kid burnout stuff and I'm about to sarcastically skewer some of my old thought processes here.)

Adequately warned? Great! Here are the step by step instructions to a real shitty time!

Take on a bunch of work while you're feeling okay, based on how much you think everyone else is doing.

Depression gets inevitably triggered somehow, by life stress or overwork or winter or whatever. Burn Bird secondary because that's been a stress response at least since high school.

Have absolutely no clue about the fact that your "limits" vary drastically and your productivity has huge peaks and valleys due to various forms of undiagnosed neurodivergence, which school/college is not designed to accommodate. So, rather than taking a rest and sorting out the stressful thing, get mad at yourself for "being lazy"!

Continue trying to work. Struggle wildly with executive dysfunction. Panic. Get frustrated and angry at yourself. It's cool, I'm sure this will make your Bird secondary start working again soon. (just kidding lol it's making it worse)

When you've aggravated your depression enough, shut down for a few months! Your work will still be there. Piling up. Taunting you. you're falling so far behind what are you doing everyone else can keep up except you

Get sick for a week. Feel relieved that at least now you have a legitimate excuse to not be working. This benefit may feel like it outweighs the symptoms of the flu or sinus infection or whatever you have.

Go into emergency hardcore mode, complete a ridiculous workload in the week before deadline, turn it all in, be almost too exhausted to feel guilty about doing everything last minute.

me: "I don't have ADHD! My focus is usually fine."

also me: this. ^ what is this.

So, I avoid that now. If I notice when Step 3 is happening and I can switch tasks--maybe clean my living space, do some laundry, get some good food, take care of tasks unrelated to whatever project it is that I'm too freaked out to work on--then Bird will be back in a week or two, assuming nothing else huge and stressful happens, and I'll have another productivity peak that'll let me catch up.

This is not the conventional wisdom. Conventional wisdom says you must never break momentum, you must schedule your work out 6 weeks ahead so you always know if you're on track, you must...!

Totally counterproductive for me. My brain is weird and did not come with a manual.

These days, on top of my Bird secondary, I model a mixture of Bookkeeper Badger and mirroring (a Courtier skill), for a number of purposes. I find work satisfying, I'm not afraid of long projects (that I choose), and that shifting, empathetic mirroring response is my default social mode.

But Badger's most important job is to gently take over when Bird is stressed out, and give it space to recover while methodically fixing anything about my situation that's not helping. It's good for that.

I prefer it to the alternative, anyway.

#sortinghatchats #secondary toast revolving door #hufflepuff secondary model #burned ravenclaw secondary #shc models #asks #paint speaks

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Seems like a good time to bring this back up. Under the cut will be a title, applicable ship, and a small summary of all my wips. I got an ask recently to add someone to a taglist so I’m putting this out: these are all my projects. If you want to be tagged for individual stories, for bad things happen bingo, a certain ships or any and all in general let me know! Of course if you have requests you’ll be tagged anyway but barring that hit me up if you wanna.

Experimental Socialization- Intrulogical- Logan was raised by the government to be nothing more than an experiment and a weapon, utilizing his unique abilities as a mutant. When he finally escapes things are much different than he imagined they’d be but thankfully finds others like him willing to help guide him right where he needs to be. Requested Prompt: Not Used To Being Free

Bad Things Happen Bingo

To Cure The Inevitable- Logince- Roman si so tired of endangering himself and everyone around him everytime he changes. Logan promises to help cure him, an old agreement never straying far in his mind. Requested Prompt: Painful Transformation

Restricted- Platonic DRLAMP- Witches are only granted mercy for being caught by owing service to a household for the rest of their lives. There aren’t many houses that are kind when they take on a witch, a fact that is all to clear to Logan and his found coven. Requested (but modified) Prompt: Hurts To Breathe and Whipping

Rage Against The Machine- Intruloceit- Rage finally breaks down the locks and bars present on his door and is decidedly not happy. Unfortunately, Logan is in the way. Requested Prompt: Lifted by the Neck

Faulty Logic- Platonic DRLAMP- Remus is bored and no one’s seen Logan in a while. He’s probably just shut up in his room...right? Requested Prompt: Locked in a Cage

The Perfect Manicure- Familial Rayality- Patton was so happy he got to spend time with Roman since both of them are usually so busy. Though when he said he couldn’t wait to show Remus and Logan his nails, Patton didn’t think he meant by mail. Requested Prompt: Finger in the Mail

Hold Onto Me- Intruality- Patton rushed to the construction site as soon as he heard the building collapsed. All he can do is hope he isn’t in the emergency team’s way as he holds onto Remus’ hand. Requested prompt: Pinned Down by Wreckage

Space To Breathe- Loceit-  Janus is angry and silences a bit too forcefully cutting off not only voice but air supply as well. Prompt: Hurts To Breathe

Trees Are Shit- Familial LAMP- Roman taunts Virgil, Virgil takes the bait and Patton stays on the ground. Logan and Janus know that nothing good can come from hearing all three of their children start screaming. Prompt: Doesn’t Realize They’ve Been Injured

Fear Will Be Your Enemy- Familial Anaroyality- When Virgil accidently tips off the monsters their trying to sneak around and Patton ends up hurt, he can only sit and watch helplessly as everything falls apart. Prompt: Empathetic Healing

Catch and Release- Analogical- Stress can cause all sorts of symptoms if it isn’t taken seriously, but Logan isn’t stressed, he just caught something from work. Virgil has to be the one to step in and say that no, tea and anti nausea pills are not a substitute for actual rest. Prompt: Definitely Just A Cold

Pretend To Hurt- Intrulociet- Remus often suffers from migraines which makes it incredibly hard to do his job. He isn’t sure what keeps triggering them but at least his loving boyfriends are always there to take care of him. Prompt: Trying To Wake Them Up

Stress Enough- Prinxiety- Roman can feel a cold coming on but Virgil has been so stressed lately he knows the other will be coming to him for comfort. Desperately he tries to work through it so he can still be there for his boyfriend. Prompt: Damaged Vocal Chords

So It Goes- Demus- All Janus wants to do is wear a dress but Xyr mind won’t shut up long enough for xem to do so. Xe has never been so grateful for Remus’ constant need to be background noise. Prompt: Body Image Issues.

Oveflow- DLAMP- Logan always felt useless if he wasn’t doing something but doing things required energy that  he sometimes just didn’t have. The others try and get him to understand that resting does not equate to laziness. Prompt: Anger Born of Worry.

Measured Steps- Anxciet- Soulmate au where the counter on your wrist shows how many times you’ll see you’re soulmate, subject to change. Janus gets concerned when his counter suddenly goes down to one and tries to find his destined person. Virgil isn’t one to trust fate in the midst of panic. Neither realize they are their own foils until it's too late. Prompt: Get It Over With

Close- Familial Moxiety- Virgil doesn’t care about destruction of property as long as Patton is safe. His son comes first, always. Prompt: Hysterical Strength

One Shots

Cold, Hard Bitch- Anxciet- When Janus falls ill and isn’t strong enough to sink out to get help, Virgil has no choice but to travel on foot to the light sides’ space. If only the twins weren’t bitter idiots with the way they seperate the domains. Prompt: Hypothermia.

No Strings Attached- Rociet- Roman doesn’t know how to say no, Janus is happy to teach him. 

To Support and Comfort- Logicality- Patton is autistic and has certain “unconventional” things he does because of it. Logan’s parents don’t understand that but thankfully Logan is there for him no matter what.

Drumbeat- Intrulogical- Thoroughly fed up with the way his and Remus’ ADHD manifests and makes their lives more difficult, Logan sets up a date to try and find a solution to their problem. Thankfully it works out for both of them.

Laughter Is My Love Language- Analogical- Virgil loves each and every one of Logan’s laughs and strives to hear them as much as possible. Logan pretends not to notice.

Safe- Mociet- After staying with his boyfriend for several years Patton realizes the things he endured in childhood definitely weren’t okay. Janus is there to make sure he knows he’s safe.

Quiet Knight- Rociet-  Janus is going off to college in a different state and Roman goes with him to the airport. Neither of them want to leave quite yet.

Black Licorice- Anxciet- Collab

Overgrown Metal Ch 4- Janus and Logan centric chapter

Dee Little Snake Ch 3- Patton walks in on a small Janus- and promptly gets apples thrown at him.

#false speaks #wip update #ask to tag #wondering if anyone is interested in being on general or specific taglists #or if you need me to tag a something specifically so you can block it i know certain characters and ships squick people

[friendlylocalwhumper]

The bed sheets are drenched in sweat. The ice packs have all melted. There's blood on the pillow.

Lux's curls are damp and limp against his forehead, his lips parted as he rasps out weak breaths. When he whines, Emory scrambles to find something to relieve his suffering - more ice, more water, blankets pulled over him, blankets pushed off of him. Lux's body aches, but massages don't help, the muscles all wound up too tight and trembling with shivers.

The incoherent mumbling scares him. The fever is too high, and Emory already had no idea what to do, but the delirious pleading on top of it all hits him hard. The lost questions, the dazed ponderings, things that Lux has never talked about before like what the stars mean and how many warlocks must have been killed in the war and whether his grandparents, if he'd met him, would have loved him or tried to kill him.

This is a particularly awful hour, where Lux shakes and sweats and gasps, choking up blood onto the covers. It looks like he's dying, but he's been like this for a day and a half, and his body just keeps on finding blood to cough up. Lux clings to Emory, fingers twisted in his boyfriend's shirt, and he moans in between the wet, hacking coughs.

"You're okay, you're okay, breathe, honey, I've got you." Emory's phone is lying face-up on the nightstand so he can see instantly if he gets a call. He's called Anders, and Alex, and Kiara - none of them have picked up. Lux needs help, needs a healer, but even with Emory's backburner solution of bringing him to a hospital despite it being a terrible thing to do to a warlock, he's not stupid enough to do that now. He's seen the news.

Hundreds - thousands? - of people coughing up blood, collapsing on the streets and in their homes and in their cars on the highway. The instant panic over it being some kind of pandemic, and then the announcement from the government the next day. Do not panic. This is not a pandemic - this is a cleansing. A magic-killing poison has been administered to the public. It only affects warlocks and witches; it is harmless to non-magic citizens. If a friend or loved one has begun to display the symptoms of the magic-killing poisoning, please bring them to a hospital as soon as you can to save their life.

It's a threat: expose the warlocks you know, or watch them die choking on their own blood. Emory keeps having to roll Lux onto his side and pat his back to help him get the blood out of his throat, but who's to say how much is building up in his lungs?

Alex could fix this.

Alex might be dead already. No Resistance member who's been captured before would be willing to go back for anything.

Is Lux lucid right now? Those teary blue eyes are looking up at Emory, his hand pushing against the mattress in an attempt to sit up. Emory helps, and holds him by the shoulders.

"Lux. Please, your magic, can't you fix this? Heal yourself, at least get the blood out so you can breathe?"

Lux shakes his head with a soft sound. "Mmmh, magic... can't... nnnh, Em, 's okay..."

Emory hugs Lux, letting the warlock cough over his shoulder as he's held. Lux is scared. Lux is strong, he'll make it, he has to. Nothing's managed to kill him so far.

"Why're you the one comforting me, huh, Curls?" Emory teases gently, kissing Lux's feverish cheek. "Think you can stay sitting up while I get you some more ice, Lux? I'll be quick, be right back to hold you."

Lux nods and pushes him away, knowing how hard it is for Emory to leave him even for a second right now. "'ll stay breathing," The warlock promises with a faint, bloody smile.

No matter how quick he is in grabbing a fresh ice pack from the freezer, Emory just can't be sure if that's the truth.

~

"I'm c-c-cold, Ash," Complains Eli as he shivers under the covers. He frowns when his brother's warm hand leaves his forehead exposed to what feels like frigid air.

"Yeah, you're sick. You've said you were cold, like, three times." Ash picks up the emptied glass from the nightstand and stands, looking over his twin without an outward hint of worry. "You need to drink some more water, you're sweating a lot. It's pretty gross, frankly."

"Sh-shut up or I'll sweat on you."

"You wouldn't." Ash ducks back and grins as he escapes a swing of Eli's sweaty hand. "I'll be right back. Stay under the covers."

He thinks over the symptoms Eli's shown as he goes to the bathroom sink to fill the glass with tap water. It's the flu, he thinks: aches, a fever, lots more complaining than a cold would get out of Eli. He'll watch over his brother, but it should be fine. Water helps, and hot soup and maybe some medicine. Ash should go get some ice to put in this glass, he thinks; that'll be refreshing, even if Elian feels like he's freezing. His skin is uncomfortably hot to the touch, so a little cold water can't hurt.

Ash can hear Eli coughing in the other room. Poor guy, probably all clogged up and feeling gross. Ash should grab the tissue box from the living room, more pillows to prop his brother up in bed...

"Ash - nnnh, Ash!"

Sloshing water on the floor, Asher runs out of the bathroom to see Eli hunched over and coughing, a hand pressed to his own chest. Blood drips from his bottom lip, trails down his chin.

"Bleeding," The sick twin mutters, staring down at the new red stains on the blanket. Ash sits on the bed next to him.

"All done coughing?" He asks, offering the water. "This'll help. Get the taste out of your mouth. Your throat hurt, Eli?"

The other twin nods, taking the glass and drinking.

"Probably just a little blood from that. All torn up from coughing. Don't worry, you're gonna be fine." Eli hasn't said anything yet to show that he's scared, but Ash can see it in the way he avoids eye contact with his twin. "Just drink up, it's good for you." That's one thing he can do; keep guiding Eli to rest, stay hydrated, eat if he has no appetite. A little blood is no big deal.

~

"What do you mean, he's bleeding?" Ash growls into the phone, throwing all his anger at Emory. "He's a healer, we need a healer. Lux is fine."

"Lux is not fine. Lux is dying. Find your own healer, then send them here, because my boyfriend can't breathe."

He hangs up on Emory in a rush of adrenaline, furious at the world. Lux would be here in a heartbeat if he could, Ash knows that. He feels bad for barely hesitating to barrel past hearing Lux's condition and demanding someone come heal Eli, but he's desperate.

After he's hung up the phone, in the silence before what must be a building up coughing fit from the other room, Ash can imagine Emory accusing him. Why aren't you sick? If every warlock was poisoned, and you have magic, why aren't you dying?

Ash buries his head in his hands and takes a shuddering deep breath. He doesn't know why. Eli's dying, everyone's dying, and Ash is fine. It's only been two days since the poison was administered, and in that time, the magic community has gone cold and dark. There is no one who can help. If Ash wants Eli to live through the night, he has to turn him in.

He can't do that, can't betray his brother like that.

Heart weighing heavy, Ash trudges back into Eli's room and sits by him, watching his twin draw shaky, shallow breaths in his sleep, his cheeks flushed unnaturally with fever. What is so different between him and Eli that one twin is dying and one is fine?

"Eli," He says quietly, nudging his brother. "Elian. Wake up."

Dazed eyes blink open, wandering over to Ash's face. "Mmmf?"

"Need that big brain of yours."

"Brain... cooking," Eli grunts, shifting and wincing. "Tryna figure som'thin' out... stupid?"

Ash smiles at the joking insult. "Yeah. This virus thing. Poison, whatever. How it spread."

"Mmmh." Eli looks up to the ceiling and draws a rattling breath. "Poison... in the air?"

"I guess, could be. But we can't stop breathing."

"Assume it's something else then." With a nod, Elian racks his brain. "Uh. Dunno. I don' know, Ash, I can't... I don't know, does it matter?"

"'Course it matters, we're gonna solve it, save everyone, alright? You and me, we're the best way to figure this out. We're twins, that means we're exactly the same. But you're sick, and I'm not. What's different between us?"

"I'm smart," Eli offers. "You're a dumbass."

"Great, yeah, I know. Jerk. What else?"

"Hhhh, you... you work out more than me."

"What do you do that I don't? Think, Eli. You came in contact with something that I didn't."

Elian smiles, suppressing a cough to eke out, "You don't, hhh, come in contact with cute girls. You suck at flirting."

"No I don't! Stop being an idiot. I, uh, I eat less salads than you, and healthy shit?"

"You don't eat any healthy shit." With a cough to the side, Eli has to take a moment to catch his breath, to swallow the blood in his mouth. "Nnnh. You, you eat chips and fast food, that's it. You, drink soda and, and Gatorade. You laugh at me when I toss you a, a water bottle instead of a Red Bull."

Water. Ash's jaw drops. "Fuck. Fuck. Eli, that's it. The fucking water." His mind races, guilt making his stomach roil uncomfortably. "It's in the water. People got sick, and - and when someone's fucking sick, you give them fucking water..."

"Woah, woah, hey," Eli mutters, placing a hand on his brother's arm. "Ash, we don't know if - even if you're right, you didn't know."

"I was killing you." Ash reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, fumbling to dial quick enough.

"What're you doing?"

"Calling Emory. We're - the fuckin' feds poisoned the water to kill us, and we're giving each other more water, and we're - we're finishing the job for them."

#whump #drabble #sick #fever #caregiver #lux #emory #ash and eli #mine #angst #guilt #coughing #blood #sweaty #worry #sarah tings #poisoned #dystopia

[scripttorture]

Torture in Fiction: Carrie (1976)

I thought this one was an interesting request, I read Stephen King’s book Carrie as a young teenager but I’d never actually watched the movie. My first impression was that it was strangely sexual in a way that the book wasn’t.

But I’m not here to talk about the strange relationship the horror genre has with female sexuality. I’m rating the depiction and use of torture, not the movie itself. I’m trying to take into account realism (regardless of fantasy or sci fi elements), presence of any apologist arguments, stereotypes and the narrative treatment of victims and torturers.

Carrie is about a teenage girl who is severely bullied at school. She’s ostracised and tormented by her peers, ignored by staff and raised by an abusive extremist. In the midst of this she develops telekinetic powers.

The movie starts with a volley ball game that’s used to establish Carrie’s isolation and the casual way other students verbally abuse her. Later in the shower room Carrie starts to menstruate. She’s completely unaware of the process and panics thinking she’s dying.

As she pleads with the other girls to help her they start to laugh. They corner her in the shower pelting her with tampons and pads. The teacher who comes to intervene slaps and shakes Carrie as she huddles in the corner.

Carrie is sent home. Her mother responds to the news that Carrie’s period has started by hitting her with a book and trying to make her recite misogynist verses about Eve’s sin and the weakness of women. She then drags Carrie to a cupboard and locks her in.

The PE teacher punishes the group of girls who tormented Carrie earlier, their detention period is essentially a forced exercise regime designed to exhaust them. One of the girls, Chris, objects, she’s told the punishment for leaving is refusal of her prom tickets. She argues with the teacher and the teacher slaps and shakes her. Chris leaves.

One of the girls, Sue, appears to regret what she did and persuades her boyfriend Tommy to ask Carrie to the prom in Sue’s place.

Carrie initially refuses, suspecting that it’s a ruse to humiliate her again. Tommy tracks her down to her home and repeatedly asks her to come, not taking Carrie’s repeated refusals for an answer. With her mother calling in the background Carrie eventually gives her very unenthusiastic consent. The scene strongly suggests she does this to get rid of Tommy.

In the mean time Chris blames Carrie for her problems and enlists her boyfriend to take revenge. They break into a farm and kill a pig. The blood is put in a bucket over the stage in the prom hall and another of Chris’ friends volunteers to collect the ballots for prom king and queen.

Carrie argues with her mother about going to the prom. Her mother tries to order Carrie into the closet and Carrie refuses to go. Her mother shakes and berates her and Carrie uses her abilities to close the windows in the house. Her mother calls her a witch and tells her to renounce her powers. Carrie refuses.

Later Carrie’s mother tries to persuade Carrie not to go to the prom. She tells Carrie it’s sinful, tries to make Carrie ashamed of her body, says Tommy isn’t coming and then starts hitting herself and pulling out her own hair in a bid to ‘make’ Carrie stay. Carrie throws her mother on to the bed with her powers.

Carrie and Tommy go to the prom and Carrie appears to be enjoying herself. Chris’ friends rig the voting so that Tommy and Carrie are announced as the prom king and queen. Carrie appears overjoyed.

Sue happily watches them take the stage from the sidelines. Then she notices the rope and the bucket of blood above Carrie. Sue follows the rope under the stage where Chris and her boyfriend are hiding but a teacher tugs her away.

Chris pulls the rope and Carrie is drenched in blood in front of the school. Tommy is hit on the head with the bucket and falls to the floor.

Carrie uses her powers to barricade the doors and turns the fire hose on the trapped crowd. She shorts out the electrics and begins bringing objects down on the crowd, killing the PE teacher. Wires from the microphone wrap around the Principal and he’s thrown against the stage backdrop. The stage catches fire and Carrie walks calmly down from it while the other students panic and scream around her.

As she walks out down the road Chris and her boyfriend drive up behind her and try to hit her with the car. Carrie makes the car swerve, it crashes and explodes.

Carrie returns home and finds lit candles all over the house. When she finds her mother she asks for comfort and her mother asks her to pray. Then she stabs Carrie.

Carrie falls down the stairs and tries to crawl away, but her mother follows with the knife, smiling. The doors are locked and as her mother advances Carrie uses her powers to stab her mother repeatedly. This seems to be instinctual because she later takes her mother’s body in her arms.

The roof starts to collapse and Carrie drags herself and her mother’s body into the cupboard she was locked in to pray. The house collapses around them and catches fire.

In this case most of what I’m reviewing isn’t legally torture, because the legal definition in most countries requires the abuser to be in an official position of power. Carrie is mostly tormented by her peers, people who don’t hold any legal power over her.

There’s a lot going on here and I found it quite hard to categorise the movie. In the end I decided to give it 5/10

The Good

The movie doesn't show abuse as a successful method of control. Slapping Carrie doesn't calm her down. Verbal and physical abuse from her classmates doesn't change her behaviour. Her mother's abuse doesn't stop her wanting, or seeking, 'normal' high school things. Abuse directed towards Chris doesn't change her objectives or make her submit to what she sees as an unfair punishment.

Carrie does show appeasement behaviour towards her mother at several points, but the movie puts this in a larger emotional context. Carrie might thank her mother and kiss her after being abused but the following scene shows her crying in her room. In fact I think what this film shows is how victims often feel constrained by circumstances beyond their control. As soon as the balance of power shifts Carrie starts to defy her mother.

One of the things that stood out for me throughout this movie was the way it portrayed abuse and isolation as intertwined. Carrie is abused at home and hence she is 'weird' and hence she is isolated at school and hence she's an easy target for bullying and more abuse. That's unfortunately very true to life. And it applies to adult survivors just as much as children.

The movie also shows a systematic failure in the school when it comes to tackling abuse. The PE teacher’s response is reactive; she doesn’t actually protect Carrie from her peers and her failure to get through to Chris arguably prompts the ‘prank’ that drives Carrie to violence. This also seems very true to life.

Emotional abuse isn’t dismissed at any point. Most of the physical abuse throughout the movie isn’t scarring; it’s isolation and slaps and small rooms which is often presented as if it does no lasting harm. This isn’t the case here.

The responses different characters have to abuse throughout all seem possible. Carrie’s attempts to defy her mother, withdrawal and appeasement behaviour are all plausible behaviours in abused children. Anger, aggression and violent outbursts are possible and Chris demonstrates them as well as Carrie.

Symptoms also seem apparent even though they’re never named. The ending shows Sue suffering from night terrors and possibly PTSD. Carrie’s behaviour before the prom can be interpreted as showing anxiety and depression.

The Bad

Throughout the movie I didn’t feel as though there was any moral judgement placed on any of the characters. Their actions were presented and the way other characters responded to those actions was presented. For the majority of the abusive incidents I don’t think this is a bad thing. I don’t usually think it’s necessary to spoon feed readers moral messages. But I found the casual use of violence by a teacher who is framed as sympathetic troubling. I also found the way violence between Chris and her boyfriend was framed as normal troubling.

In a similar vein I found the attitude to consent worrying. Carrie is essentially harassed into agreeing to go to the prom. Tommy is pressured by Sue into asking Carrie. Chris pressures her boyfriend into bullying Carrie. Carrie’s mother states that she was raped and then that she enjoyed it.

While the movie clearly shows the reasons Carrie turns on her teachers and school-mates it’s still centred on a young, vulnerable abuse survivor being a danger to the people around her. Which is an unfortunately common narrative.

The idea that abuse survivors are dangerous is propped up by Carrie’s mother claiming she was raped moments before trying to murder her daughter.

Miscellaneous

I was surprised by the level of casual violence and abuse in the movie. Within the first half hour there are several depictions of teachers hitting students (which can be classed as torture), parental abuse, partner abuse and abuse by peers. I suspect much of this reflects different attitudes to violence at the time the film was made.

Overall

I think there are probably a lot of cultural references and touchstones I’m missing throughout this. Even without the bullying and violence it isn’t a school experience I recognise. I can’t help but wonder how different the effect is on an audience that had a mix of genders at school and had things like ‘the prom’ shape their adolescence. In fact just the casual portrayal of teenagers having cars seems unusual to me.

I didn’t really feel moved by the story and I didn’t feel like I recognised or sympathised with any of the characters. It’s certainly not how I would write a story about abuse.

But that doesn’t make it a bad portrayal. My interpretation is that it’s primarily a story which shows characters making a string of bad decisions rather than one which endorses those decisions. The narrative itself seems to present very little judgement, it shows the characters judging each other but doesn’t really seem to support any one.

That lack of internal judgement means it’s possible to interpret Carrie as a narrative about a survivor who feels she has no choice but violence because she faces systematic abuse and a systematic lack of practical support. It’s also possible to interpret Carrie as a narrative about how survivors are a danger to the community at large.

Everything that Carrie shows in terms of responses to abuse and its effects seems plausible to me. None of the abusive practices are portrayed as harmless. Nothing that would cause death or serious injury is portrayed as harmless.

Having said that, Carrie herself is still the villain.

I think we should have room for stories about survivors ‘taking revenge’ and survivors who are just bad people. There are violent and abusive survivors in real life but it’s not nearly as common as most people think.

I’m not sure this story is nuanced enough to successfully make the distinction between showing a violent survivor and showing survivors as violent.

There’s still some good stuff here. The story never dismisses or belittles abuse. It’s focused on the effects and fallout of abuse in a way that seems quite unusual for a horror story. I particularly liked the way the movie showed the communal failure to support or protect Carrie because that is so true to life. It also does a fantastic job of highlighting how interconnected abuse and isolation can be as well as the ways that can make survivors vulnerable.

If this was written today I’d say it was a good first draft. As it is I think this is a little dated and some of the narrative choices leave very unfortunate implications. But there’s a lot of good in here too.

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#tw torture #tw rape #tw familial abuse #torture in fiction #Carrie #fantasy #torture in schools #emotional abuse #clean torture #writing victims

[builder051]

Spencer concussion/stomach flu part 2

@florette-the-witch  Here’s your part 2.

Find part 1 here.

Each time JJ steps on the brake, she glances over at Spencer.  He slumps against the window, his eyes shut and his arms wrapped around his stomach.  “You ok?” she asks.  She’s said it four or five times already, but she can’t help herself.

“Mm.”  Spencer barely nods.  “I’m good.”

It’s obvious he’s lying.  JJ makes sure to ease the car to a gentle stop before she turns into the driveway.

Will meets them at the door and helps usher Spencer to the couch.  “You just rest for a minute,” he drawls.  “Unless you’d rather lie down in the guest room?”

“I don’t…really want to move,” Spencer whispers.

“Ok, that’s alright,” Will assures.  He turns to JJ.  “What about you?  Can I get you some breakfast or something?”

JJ checks her watch.  She’s surprised to see it’s three in the morning.  “I’m alright,” she says.  “I’ve lost my sense of the time zone.”

“Well, how about a cup of tea?  Something decaf?  You look like you could use some rest yourself.”

“I’m really ok,” JJ insists.  “But maybe a glass of water and some ibuprofen?”  She nods at Spencer.  “He had some at the hospital, but it’s probably worn off by now.”

“Yeah, of course.”  Will heads to the kitchen, and JJ hears him put the kettle on the stove.  She rolls her eyes at his doting and sits on the couch beside her friend.

“Let’s get this off you, ok?”  JJ reaches to unbutton Spencer’s vomit-stained shirt.

Spencer doesn’t protest, and JJ takes it as a sign of how awful he’s feeling.  “We’ll get you hydrated a little bit,” she says.  “Then you can go to sleep.”

“’M I allowed to?” Spencer slurs.

“Yeah.  The doctor you saw at the ER said it would be ok.  Your body heals when you sleep.  I’ll wake you up every few hours just to make sure everything’s ok.”

“Yeah, ok…”  Spencer rubs his temple.  “I’m…really sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” JJ says.  “We’re a team.  This is how it should be.”

“You’re like family,” Will chimes in, delivering water and a bottle of pills.

“Well.  I mean.”  Spencer stumbles over his words as he shakily takes a sip.  “Thanks.”

The three of them sit in the living room and nurse their drinks until exhaustion takes precedence.  JJ follows Spencer into the guest room and leans against the door frame as he slips into bed.

“Tell me if you need anything, ok?” she says.  “Come in the master bedroom, or just yell out.”

Spencer nods absently and winces.

“I’m serious.  Don’t worry about bothering us.  Your health is the most important thing.”

“Ok.”  He says, pulling the covers up to his chin.  “I, uh.  Thanks again.”

“Of course, Spence.  Get some rest.  I’ll wake you up in a couple hours.  Ask you some more annoying questions.”  JJ smiles.

The ghost of a smile passes Spencer’s lips as well.  Once she’s sure he’s settled, JJ heads to her own room.

She changes into pajamas and brushes her teeth.  As she puts her toothbrush away, Will comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist.  

“Hey.  Not tonight.  We have a guest,” JJ says, looking over her shoulder at her husband.  

“I know,” he says with a laugh.  “I just wanted to give you a hug. Nothing too naughty about that.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”  

“You look kind of pale.  You feeling ok?” Will asks.

“Sure.  I didn’t get hit or anything.  Spence was the only one who got tangled up in that.”

“No, I mean, in general,” Will clarifies.  “Henry said his stomach hurt earlier.  I think a bug might be going around.”

“Well, keep a close eye on him.  We don’t need two sick kids in the house.”

Will lets out a nervous chuckle and moves to turn down the bed.  “I have to agree there.”

***

In two hours, JJ’s alarm goes off.  She silences it quickly and tiptoes down the hall to the guest room.  “Spence?” she whispers, reaching for the lamp on the bedside table.  

The bed is empty.  JJ’s heart drops.  Where did he go?  Did he wander off somewhere, confused and hurting?

The sound of a pained retch echoes from the bathroom next door.  Relief immediately replaces her panic, but JJ’s still worried when she enters the small, dark room.

“Hey, Spence,” she says, squatting beside his hunched form.  “The headache still turning your stomach?”

“Mm.  I guess…”  Spencer coughs into the toilet.  He gags again, but nothing seems to come up.

“I’m gonna get you some more water,” JJ says.  “You’re getting all dehydrated again.”

“Ugh.”  Spencer doesn’t disagree.

JJ fills a paper cup with tap water, and watches Spencer take a tentative swallow.  

“You can go back to bed,” he chokes.  “Unless you…were gonna ask me questions…?”

JJ’s completely forgotten about that.  “Oh,” she says.  “Yeah, I was going to do that.  But you seem pretty coherent.  I’m less worried about brain damage than I am about—”  

Spencer gags again.

“Well, that.”

“I’m ok,” Spencer insists, though his voice comes out as a shaky breath. “I’ll sit with you for a while.  Just until it lets up,” JJ says.  She settles into the corner where the edge of the bathtub meets the wall.  

“I’m ok,” Spencer repeats.  Though he nods into the toilet seat anyway.

***

JJ doesn’t remember drifting off, but when she next opens her eyes, light streams in through the bathroom window.  “Huh?” She groans sleepily, taking in the shivering lump of Spencer’s body spread out on the floor in front of the toilet.  “Oh my god.”

A quick glance at the wall clock tells her another couple hours have passed.  If he’s been too nauseous to move for this long…  JJ shakes her head, wishing he’d woken her up.

“Spence?”  She crawls forward and places a hand on his shoulder.  “You awake?”

“Mm.”  It sounds like it comes through gritted teeth.  Spencer’s hair falls over his face, but his skin glistens with sweat and looks almost grey.  Perspiration dampens his shirt around his neck and under the arms as well.  Heat radiates off him, and JJ relocates her hand to his cheek.

“You’re burning up,” she says.  “Do you feel feverish?”

Spencer shifts and curls further in on himself.  “’S my stomach, mostly.”

“Wow, ok…”  JJ shakes her head to rid herself of her sleepy fog.  “How’s your head?”

“Not…I don’t know.  I’m, uh…” Spencer stops to swallow convulsively.  “Dizzy?  Just keep…throwing up.”

“Ok.  I don’t think this is just post-concussion symptoms anymore,” JJ says.  “Last night Will said something about a bug going around.  Just exactly what you don’t need right now.”

“Hm.”  Spencer takes a slow, measured breath, then scrambles to get upright in time to dry heave over the toilet bowl.

“Alright, ok,” JJ soothes.  Spencer’s so pale and shaky she hastens to provide support in case he collapses backward.  

He stops heaving after a few moments, and JJ pats him on the back.  

“Sorry,” Spencer mutters.

“I don’t want to hear you say that again, ok?” JJ fights to keep the concern from her voice.  “You’ve done nothing wrong.  We’ll get you some rest and some hydration…I promise, you’ll be just fine.”

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer whump #jennifer jareau #jennifer jereau #jj #fanfic #fanfiction #sickfic #concussion #stomach flu #flu #emeto #emetophilia

[theonlyoneshere]

What if... Johannah had left the ascendants instead of her mother?

“Mother, please. I’ve made up my mind.”

Siobhán halted her protests promptly. Despite her pleas, and the overwhelming sadness she felt may crush her, she had to admit she was proud of her child; of how selfless she had grown up to be.

“You don’t have to go.”

“No, I do,” Jo insisted, barely able to keep her voice steady, “I know what I’m giving up, believe me I’ve thought of nothing else this past week. What good is enlightenment and the power that comes with it if we cannot help those in need? How could I sit back and watch eternity pass whilst I turn a blind eye to those who suffer throughout the aeons?”

“I-”

What could she say to that? Siobhán had long since passed the moment she could still call herself her daughters teacher. Johannah was nearing sixty years old, Siobhán almost eighty-five; though neither of them looked a day over thirty. The twenty year head start Siobhán had practicing magic had lost its relevance. Dare she say it, her daughter had even surpassed her skill by now.

“You can still come with me,” Jo said, “We can spend a lifetime together still, and do some good with our magic.”

Siobhán shook her head. “No. No, if I stay then maybe one day I can help you ascend without breaking any rules. I can bring you back to me.”

Jo swallowed. They both knew that wasn’t true, there was no chance the others would let her do that, even for her child.

“I love you, mother.”

“I love you too,  a stóirín.”

The shift from the carefully curated climate of the halls of ascension was jarring. As Jo passed through the arch back into Ireland, she was immediately greeted by heavy wind and cold rain. She turned to glance behind her, and saw only the forest. Her ability to enter the halls had been taken from her, and so the gateway was nothing more than a naturally grown arch between two trees. She pulled her hood up and clutched her cloak tightly around her shoulders, and began the long walk back to the village of her birth.

Jo had never experienced magic as a mortal; her mother told her it could be taxing, but it was something she would have to experience for herself to figure out. Thus, her journey took her almost twenty four hours. twenty four longer than teleportation, but she couldn’t risk using up her strength. Smoke on the horizon at dawn told her she was almost home. This was why she had given up her chance at ascension. Plague was ravaging her home, bodies being burned to try and control the spread.

She didn’t remember this place, having been only five years old when she left. No one would remember her either. The daughter of the witch was well known at the time. but everyone who knew her was fifty years older, and would expect the young Johannah to have aged those same years. Perhaps her eyes, with their distinctive individual colourings might call up some recognition, but otherwise she had the protection of her youthful appearance.

“I’d keep walking, settle elsewhere tonight.”

The voice made her jump. She turned to the source, an old man approaching off to the side of the track. It was good to hear her mother tongue again. True Gaeilge, not translated by her magic.

“My name is Johannah,” she called out to him, “I’ve come to help.”

“Help? Help us how?”

“I am a witch,” she said hesitantly. Views of magic could well have changed in the last half century.  “Whatever pestilence has taken hold of this land, I can expel it.”

The man licked his lips and stared her down, mulling over her claim. “Why not, we’ve nothing else left to try.”

He turned and began making his way slowly towards the village, staying away from the dirt track. Was he sick? Did he think she was? Either way, it was of little consequence. She walked at his pace in silence until they reached the village entrance.

“Stay here,” he told her as he himself kept walking, “Don’t come in until we agree to let you help. We can’t let you leave if you might spread this sickness.”

Johannah waited obediently, pacing back and forth, trying to find an angle that would let her see more of the village. No matter where she stood, the view was the same. Emptiness. No market trading goods, no children playing in the streets. Her thoughts raced as she wondered what plague had gripped these people. The minutes passed until a small group approached her. Three women and five men, including the man from before.

“What is your business here, witch,” asked one of the women. She spat the final word with venom.

“I’m here to help. I mean to-”

“What is your price?” the same woman interrupted her.

“Price?” Jo asked. Had she not known better, she would have believed this woman held a personal grudge against her from the way she spoke.

A different woman spoke now.  “What is it we have that you want, that you would present yourself to us as our salvation?”

Well, this certainly answered her question about the current feelings towards magic.

“I ask no reward,” she insisted, “On my honour, I a-”

“Honour!” the youngest of the group shouted. A man, perhaps in his late forties, “Witches have no honour to swear upon. A self serving breed, the lot of you.”

It was clear to Jo they would not let her in to help unless she named the price they believed she asked. She wasn’t doing this for thanks, but still it hurt to know that the people she might have grown up with would never see her true colours.

“You think I hold no interest in stopping this disease?” she asked, straightening her back and letting power flow through her. Her eyes faintly glowed and the sky briefly darkened. “You have failed to fight it on your own, I wish to protect the rest of the land from your failure!”

As she relaxed, the sky returned to its lighter shade of grey. When this was over, she would have to find a new home. But at least these people would live.

Jo had managed to convince the elders to provide her with a home close to the centre of town. Fear of her, and of the plague, had been a powerful negotiating tool. This first week had been exhausting. She had spent her time tending to the most sick; stabilising them, slowly restoring their health. Curing one at a time was easy. Finding the source such that she could perform a mass cleansing of the disease was harder. Days blurred together. She found herself not remembering most of her actions for the sameness of them. Blurred days became blurred weeks, and she still understood nothing save the symptoms. An infected person would grow pale, and weak. Emaciated despite being given sustenance. And eventually, after being kept from death by Jo’s magic, and after many cleansing spells, they would begin to find nourishment in their food once more. One day they would leave her care in good health, and Jo would have made no progress in her research.

It had been autumn when Jo entered the village. It was spring now, and fatigue was finally coming her. The last few days had been a struggle, despite the low number of patients she tended to. Dawn was breaking through her window, and she was considering whether she could give herself a day off when her door was opened violently.

“Get out, now.”

Jo sat upright with a start, true anger in her eyes, unlike that she had displayed when she first met this woman at the outskirts of the village.

“Excuse me? How dare you enter my home unannounced!?”

“Not your home, not anymore,” the woman replied, tossing Jo’s clothes at her from the rack, “We’ve no more sick. Our deal’s up. You can leave now, go back to whatever dark place you call home, witch.”

Could it be true? Had she taken so long to find the cause that she had eradicated the disease by curing everyone, one by one? She thought back over the last week. No new patients. None the week before that either. The last one had walked out yesterday. She hadn’t even noticed, it had seemed harder than ever to keep the last ones alive.

Her anger faded, taken over by her exhaustion, and relief. Despite how they treated her, she was glad she had saved them.

“I’ll be gone by noon,” she said quietly, dropping her gaze.

She kept her word, resting as long as she could and quietly slipping away before the sun reached its peak. Tears flowed silently as she walked. She had known from the moment they had fearfully accepted her help that it would end like this, being tossed out with nothing but the clothes on her back, yet she was still unprepared. Perhaps she could have managed were she not so tired. By evening, she was almost collapsing, barely able to support her own weight on her legs, let alone keep walking. She had to stop, find somewhere to rest for a few days before looking for somewhere to call home.

To the south, within walking distance of the path, she spied a small woodland. It would have to do. With the last of her strength, Johannah magically transported herself to the trees and reshaped a small area of them into a simple cabin. Sheltered, hidden, warm. Somewhere to recover. Jo passed out on the hard wooden floor.

Jo woke up, shivering and hungry. She glanced outside and saw it was evening, yet lighter than it had been when she lost consciousness. Had she been asleep an entire day? Or perhaps more... Water to drink, food to eat, water to bathe in. The last was a struggle to conjure in her current state, but she needed it. The hot water was the first modicum of relief she had felt in who knew how long. For today it seemed it would also be the only relief. Her drinking water barely quenched her thirst, and the food was even less satisfying. Conjured food was always bad compared to the real thing, but she never remembered it being this unfulfilling. For a fraction of a second, a dreaded fear entered her mind that she had fallen ill with the mysterious disease. The panic came and passed, and she dismissed the notion as irrational. She was immune to all diseases and non-magical poisons. That was part of her physiology now, the ascended couldn’t take that from her.

Only two hours after she had regained consciousness, Jo returned to rest, this time in her bed at least. When she awoke, dawn had yet to break. She was cold, freezing to the bone and yet at the same time her hunger felt like burning her alive from the inside out. She cared not that it wasn’t possible; she was sick. She knew now that conjured food wasn’t good enough, she needed something real. Even that would barely sate her, but whatever strength it could provide would be needed to cure herself.

Jo stepped outside, shivering. Her layers did nothing to insulate her from the cold she was feeling; the gentle morning breeze felt like a howling winter gale on her exposed hands and face. Steeling her resolve, she began to wander deeper into the trees, accepting she was now at the mercy of nature to have grown something she could eat and placed it in her path.

Agony. To be given hope and have it ripped away was nothing short of agony. Jo had had the good fortune to come across a large spread of plants growing various berries. In an instant she was rushing up to the plants and dropping to her knees, ripping the fruits from their stems and messily eating them with glee. And yet, nothing. And the more she ate, the more nothing she felt. She had spent the last of her energy, her willpower, to reach this place, and her reward was the knowledge that she was going to die for saving a village that hated her.

A thicket nearby rustled as Jo curled up on the ground to sleep one last time. She didn’t care for the disturbance. She was beyond helping, and besides which, help wasn’t coming. This was just wildlife, coming to feed as she did. A deer, old and injured. Recently injured even, still bleeding lightly. 

In her half sleep, Jo took a sudden breath in, deep and steady. The deer noticed her movement, and stopped its approach. Her body knew what it needed, and Jo didn’t have the strength to resist it. She sat up suddenly, her second wind already beginning to fade. The deer reacted instantly, turning and bounding away, but already caught in Jo’s magical grip. She dragged the animal towards her nearly three feet before it broke free of her snare. As it escaped, Jo managed to draw a small stream of blood from the creature’s wound that flowed towards her outstretched hand, pooling into a sphere that floated an inch above her palm. She closed her hand around the sanguine liquid and felt it pass into her. She began to feel warm again, barely. As her mind returned from the brink, she finally began to understand.

“Vampirism...” she muttered under her breath, lying back down and staring up at the dawning sky. The villagers were afflicted with vampirism; a rare, perhaps entirely unique form of vampirism, but vampirism nonetheless. Spreading as disease rather than passed on individually as a curse. Her slow, one by one, approached at curing the affliction had allowed it to mutate and eventually infect her, and turn her into something entirely new.

Jo screamed up at the sky, wishing she had passed away before the animal arrived. The few drops she had drawn wouldn’t last her very long, but they had turned her situation into a terrible choice. Die, or take blood. From what she knew about the affliction of a vampire, she could survive on animal blood, but human would always call to her, and if she let her guard down even once, she could never go back.

As terrible as the choice was, Jo couldn’t sit back and let herself die, not now. First, she had to feed sufficiently, then find shelter from the sun that was soon to rise. After that she could make her choices, and start to figure out what aspects of the old lore held true for whatever new breed of vampire-ascendant hybrid she had become.

#;; long post #c; Johannah #;; Drabble

[dccomicsimagines]

An Infant Secret - Klarion x Reader

Requested by gracesnowstorm -  The Reader finds out she is pregnant with Klarion's child and she runs away because he's the Lord of Chaos and who knows what his reaction would be and if he's even ready to be a father. During the pregnancy, or after the child is born and the child is one week old (you can choose) Klarion finds the Reader and when he confronts her, (you can choose where they meet again, it could be at the Reader's house) he finds out he is a father. (The child can be boy or girl, you can choose) When he finds that out, he flips out, becomes angry and locks the Reader and his child up in some tower, and he only lets them out until he knows he can trust them to not leave him and  run away again

You sat in the doctor’s office, wringing your hands as you waited for the doctor to come back with the test results. Leaning back into your chair, you closed your eyes while trying keep calm. Lately you had been overly exhausted, your favorite foods turned your stomach, and you had to pee more than usual. Klarion was concerned as well, convincing you to go to a doctor to discover what was wrong. 

Letting out a deep sigh, you realized you could almost fall asleep in the chair. Part of you wished Klarion could have come with you, but he had to harass Doctor Fate about something. 

The door of the office opened, jerking you awake. You sat up in your chair, quickly rubbing a hand over your face. The doctor gave you a gentle smile before sitting down next to you.

“We got the results from your blood and urine tests,” the doctor began, laying a gentle hand on your knee. You studied her face, trying to get a clue of whether the results were good or bad. She had a smile on her face, and seemed genuinely happy. 

“And?” you prompted when she didn’t speak. The doctor patted your knee, the smile staying on her face. You found yourself frowning at her.

“You are pregnant, (Y/N),” the doctor said softly.  

“What?” you gasped, your heart skipping a beat. The blood drained out of your face as the doctor continued to smile at you. She didn’t seem to notice how you didn’t share her joy.

“I know you and your boyfriend we spoke about earlier will be happy with the news,” the doctor began, pulling out a few pamphlets. “We need to get you a prescription for pre-natal vitamins and schedule your next appointment.”

You didn’t move as you found yourself struggling to breathe. The last thing you expected was a pregnancy. It was never on your mind, because you assumed it couldn’t happen. After all, Klarion was a lord of chaos. He had never mentioned anything about it. The weight on your chest grew, your breath coming out in choked gasps.

“(Y/N)?” your doctor asked, suddenly noticing your reaction. She laid a hand on your back. “Are you alright? I understand this is a surprise.” 

Your eyes were wide as you got to your feet. “I have to go,” you gasped, stumbling towards the door. The doctor got up to follow you. Needing to escape the room, you ripped open the door and broke into a run. You heard the doctor call after you, but you were already gone. 

Several blocks away from the doctor’s office, you came to a stop. Panting from the exertion, you collapsed onto a bench, more exhausted than ever. You buried your face in your hands, trying to understand what the doctor told you.

While you and Klarion had been together for some time, you had never talked about having children. Actually, the topic had never come up. Though, you knew he didn’t have a high opinion of children. He always sneered at them when you saw them in the street. 

Deep in your heart, you knew he wouldn’t react well to the news of your pregnancy. Icy cold fear flowed through you as you thought about Klarion’s reaction. He could leave you, or worse force you to get rid of the child. You laid a hand on your stomach protectively. 

In all honesty, you couldn’t imagine Klarion as a father. He wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility. You leaned back on the bench, feeling sick to your stomach from the desperation and panic. 

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you stood up from the bench and started walking down the street. You bit your lip, reminding yourself you weren’t ready for this kind of responsibility either.

Eventually, you found yourself standing in front of a bus station. You looked at it, making a decision as the thought of Klarion’s reaction terrified you beyond belief. An hour later, you were on a bus to some place, hoping to disappear off the face of the earth.

“Where is (Y/N)?!?!” Klarion screamed into the face of Superboy who he held in a vice grip with his magic. 

“I don’t know,” Superboy replied quickly, gasping when Klarion tightened his grip. “Nobody knows where (Y/N) is!” 

“Liar,” Klarion growled. He was about to squeeze Superboy to death when Teekl meowed for him to stop. “What do you mean he is telling the truth?! (Y/N) has been missing for eight months; the Justice League must have something to do with it!” Teekl meowed again, repeating what she said before.

Klarion wrinkled his nose, looking back at Superboy before noticing the rest of his team arriving on the scene. The clues behind your disappearance had brought him to the Justice League headquarters causing Klarion to assume the worst.

“Let him go, Witch Boy,” Aqualad warned as the team gathered around him, preparing to fight. Klarion rolled his eyes, tossing Superboy at him. Both men crashed into the ground as Klarion gathered Teekl in his arms.

“I didn’t want him anyway. The only one I want is (Y/N),” he replied, floating above the rest of the team. In a moment, Klarion allowed his vulnerability to show. The team froze, shocked by the display of weakness on Klarion’s part. Taking the opportunity, Klarion disappeared through a portal with a snap of his fingers.

Entering his pocket dimension, Klarion let out a frustrated scream, sending dark waves of energy crashing through the dimension. Teekl meowed at him, trying to calm him down.

“I will not calm down, you stupid cat. (Y/N) has been missing for eight months,” Klarion screamed, his magic swirling dangerously around him.

Teekl rolled her eyes, pouncing away from him. She had enough of his temper tantrums. Klarion shouted, throwing magical blasts everywhere. Hours passed before he calmed down enough to think. 

Taking a deep breath, Klarion cast a spell to search for you using the hair brush you had left behind. The spell sputtered and failed, repeating what it had done for the last eight months. 

“Stupid spell,” Klarion cried, throwing the hair brush. “Stupid brush.” Teekl meowed from her hiding place, finally reappearing when it appeared Klarion wasn’t going to blow another tantrum. “What do you mean I’m going about this wrong?”

Teekl meowed again, jumping onto Klarion’s shoulder. She nuzzled his face, mewing at him. “You really think I should think about where (Y/N) would go? (Y/N) didn’t run away, she was kidnapped by one of my enemies.” Teekl shook her head and rolled her eyes before jumping off his shoulder. She conjured a pillow for herself, curling up before going to sleep. 

“Useless cat,” Klarion mumbled to himself, stomping away. Teekl’s words stuck in his head as he paced rapidly.

If he was completely honest with himself, he had never thought about you leaving him on purpose. Everything was fine in your relationship before you disappeared. The only thing wrong was how you started getting overtired and having to go to the bathroom a lot, but that shouldn’t be a reason for you to leave. 

As if knowing what he was thinking, Teekl meowed, telling him to consider the possibility. Klarion let out a sigh, running a hand over his face. Closing his eyes, Klarion forced himself to accept the idea that you might have left him willingly, and where you would go if you did. 

The answer popped into his head like a light bulb. “I should have known,” Klarion growled, opening up a portal. Teekl jumped onto his shoulder as he passed her. Entering the portal, Klarion could barely keep his anger and worry contained.

Waddling home from work, you sighed as a cool ocean breeze cooled your sweaty, oversize body. You stopped to lay a hand on your huge stomach, resting for a moment. One of your co-workers offered to give you a ride, but you refused, claiming to need exercise. The truth was you felt off today due to the news report last night claiming Klarion attacked the Hall of Justice.

Your heart ached seeing a flash of him on the television. Even the baby kicked at the sight of him. Rubbing your belly, you wished Klarion was here. While you were still terrified of his reaction, and what he would do to the baby, you missed him so much. Sometimes it felt like part of your heart was gone. 

Continuing your walk, you shouldered your small bag. Another ocean breeze cooled you off as you reached the front of the house you were renting a room in. One of your roommates, a middle aged women whose job was to paint pictures of the scenery, opened the door and came out to meet you. 

“Darling, you should have called me. You shouldn’t be walking home in your condition,” she scolded lightly.

“I’m fine,” you reassured as she took your bag from you and wrapped her arm around your waist. “Besides, didn’t you say the other day that I needed to walk more?”

“Yes, but walking to and from work is too much when you are eight months pregnant,” your roommate snapped, giving you a warm smile. The two of you headed towards the door. “I still find it weird that your legs don’t swell up.”

You blushed, laughing awkwardly. “Maybe the baby is just kind to me.” You didn’t meet her eye, not waiting to say that you suspected the baby’s magic had something to do with it. All your negative pregnancy symptoms disappeared after you discovered you were pregnant. You did your best to lie them to avoid any ill attention onto yourself,  but frankly it worried you.

“(Y/N)?” a familiar voice sounded from behind you. You froze, the blood draining out of your face as you spun around to find the man you missed more than anything in the world.

“Klarion,” you gasped, absorbing the shock on his face when he took in your expanded waistline. Teekl meowed at you, narrowing her eyes at you. 

Your roommate looked between the two of you before stepping in front of you, blocking Klarion’s sight of you. “Who is this guy, (Y/N)?” She touched your face, drawing your attention to her. 

“He’s the father,” you whispered, looking back at Klarion. Klarion blinked, having overheard your words.

“My child,” Klarion whispered, staring at your belly. He took a step towards you as Teekl jumped off his shoulder. 

“Stay back,” your roommate insisted coolly, holding up a hand. She turned back towards you when Klarion appeared to listen to her. “He’s the one you were running from, right?”

You didn’t answer, hurting when Klarion’s face fell at your roommate’s words. His lips pursed together, holding back emotion.  Teekl rubbed herself against your leg as Klarion’s hands clenched into fists.

“Get out of my way, woman,” Klarion snapped, pushing your roommate to the ground. He towered over you, causing you to take a shaky breath.

“Please don’t do anything drastic,” you begged softly. You started trembling as Klarion’s eyes narrowed at you. Dark energy began to swirl around the two of you. 

“You are the one who was drastic. Running away from me when you are pregnant with my child is incredibly dangerous,” Klarion growled, his eyes darkening in anger. Teekl meowed, agreeing with him. 

Your roommate got to her feet, pushing Klarion away from you. She stood in front of you protectively. “Leave now or I’ll call the police,” she warned, flinching when Klarion’s face took on a demon-like appearance. 

Klarion was about to cast a spell on her, but you moved in front of her. “Stop it, Klarion. I’m the one you’re upset with. Leave her alone,” you demanded, your voice firm despite your trembling body. The baby kicked within you as a small magical spark knocked Klarion back a step. 

“What?!” Klarion gasped as your eyes widened in surprise. Klarion stared at your belly with horror and slight wonder. You heard your roommate start to call the police on her cell phone as Klarion took your arm. Teekl jumped back onto his shoulder, his magic swirling around the three of you. “You’re coming with me, (Y/N).” 

Before you knew it, you only heard your roommate scream before everything faded around you. You fell forward into Klarion’s arms, unconscious. 

“Wha...” you mumbled, opening your eyes. You blinked for several minutes, taking in the soft surface beneath you. Doing your best to sit up, you glanced around the room, not recognizing any of it. Your eyes fell onto Klarion, who was sitting next to you. 

“(Y/N),” Klarion spoke, watching you with his dark eyes. Teekl meowed, jumping from Klarion’s lap and onto the bed. Your eyes widened in panic as you reached down to feel your belly. You relaxed when you felt the baby kicked against your hand, knowing it was still alive and safe. 

“Where are we?” you asked as the pillows magically fluffed themselves to allow you to lie back against them. You glanced around the room again, frowning when you noticed the room only had windows and one door leading towards a bathroom.

“A tower I created in my pocket dimension,” Klarion answered coldly. He stood up, leaning over you threateningly. You flinched, moving away from him. Your large belly made it difficult, but you managed. “This is where you will be staying from now on.”

“What?!” you exclaimed, shaking slightly. Teekl meowed, repeating what he had said. “Klarion, you can’t keep me here.” 

“Yes, I can,” Klarion snapped. “Especially when you put yourself and our child in danger by running away! I can’t trust you, (Y/N)!” 

“I ran away because I was scared about how you would react,” you shot back, struggling to get up from the bed. “Now seeing that you kidnapped me and plan on locking me in a tower, I see I was right.”

“Don’t throw this back at me when you had every intention to keep my child away from me.” Klarion’s eyes darkened dangerously. “What if my enemies discovered you were pregnant with my child? They would have murdered the both of you.” 

Tears stun your eyes as you pushed yourself to your feet. “You hate children. I was scared you would reject me and leave me.” A sob slipped passed your lips, causing Klarion to freeze. 

His face softened slightly. “This isn’t going to change my mind, (Y/N). You will be staying in this tower until I know you won’t run off and endanger yourself and our child again.” He took a step closer to you, torn between wanting to comfort you and shouting at you some more. 

“You can’t do this,” you cried, shaking as you sunk back down to sit on the bed. Your emotions were spinning out of control. “What if I go into labor? I doubt your magic can help deliver the baby.” 

Teekl meowed, placing her paw on your leg in an attempt to calm you. Klarion sunk down to his knees in front of you, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I will be here, and I have an arrangement with the best doctors. The moment anything happens I will bring them here to tend to you.” 

An odd calming feeling overcame you originating from the baby. Klarion frowned at your belly, sensing the baby’s magic calming you. Your tears dried as your emotions even out again. 

“Does our child do this a lot?” Klarion asked, tentatively laying a hand on your belly. He jerked his hand away when the baby kicked him. 

“Kick? Yes, it does,” you answered calmly, rubbing the top of your belly. You looked up when Klarion snorted.

“No, I meant does the baby perform magic a lot?” Klarion demanded. He laid his hand gently over yours on your belly. 

“Sometimes.” You entwined your fingers with his as your baby kicked against your entwined hands. “More often as it grows.” 

Klarion hummed in response, his eyes widening when he felt the baby kick. He looked up at you with wonder and awe before glancing down at your belly again. 

“Can we go home?” you asked, taking your free hand and laying it on Klarion’s cheek. He leaned into it, craving your touch after so long. Teekl jumped onto Klarion’s shoulders as Klarion’s eyes shot up to yours. 

 His eyes grew cold with anger. “This is our home now, (Y/N).” He got to his feet, narrowing his eyes at you. Your face dropped as tears welled up in your eyes once again. “We will stay here until I know I can trust you not to run away again.” Shaking with his anger, Klarion turned away from you to open a portal. “Get some rest,” he ordered before disappearing into the portal with Teekl.

Getting to your feet, you tried to go after him, but your enlarged belly slowed you down. Sobs escaped from you as you sunk down to the floor. “I’m sorry,” you cried, curling into yourself. “I’m so sorry.” 

Time passed in the tower. You made a schedule for yourself, getting up early in the morning to do yoga before showering and eating breakfast. Klarion would often eat breakfast with you, usually forcing you to rest afterwards. 

Once Klarion would let you, the rest of the day was spent reading books, walking around the tower, internet shopping for the baby, and watching television. Every night, Klarion would bully you into bed and climb in beside you. His hand laid on your belly as he whispered to your unborn child. You never heard what he said, but you always felt the baby responding to his voice. 

Overtime, Klarion grew warmer towards you. He hadn’t forgiven you for running away, but you could sense he was beginning to trust you again. As you grew closer to your due date, you were content to be in Klarion’s care. Despite his imprisonment of you, an intense feeling of contentment filled you as the days passed. 

On the day when Klarion left you to handle some business, it happened. You were sitting in one of the cushy armchairs, reading, when a sharp pain radiating down your back. Gasping, you sat up suddenly, trying to relieve the pain. 

When the pain passed a moment later, you struggled to your feet, leaving the book on the chair. You headed toward the bathroom. Just when you reached the doorway, something gushed from between your legs. 

“No, no, no, no,” you gasped, leaning against the doorway. You panted, panic making your chest constrict. “Klarion, why aren’t you here when I need you?” Sinking to the floor, you found yourself unable to catch your breath. Another pain shot up your back. 

You lost track of time as you worked on slowing your breathing down. Every once and a while, a pain would come, but they weren’t as bad as the initial pain. 

When you finally calmed down enough, you struggled to your feet and made your way towards the bed. A pain struck you as you reached it causing you to fall to your knees. Hissing from the pain, you leaned against the bed as your baby kicked.

“I know you want to come out, but I’m not ready,” you moaned, burying your face into the bed. A sob slipped passed your lips, your tears moistening the bed. “Ah...” you gasped as another contraction hit you. “Klarion, please come back fast.”

Three hours passed before Klarion returned. By that time, your contractions were only five minutes apart. You were still kneeling beside the bed, however, you had slipped your pants and underwear off. 

Klarion’s mouth dropped open when he saw your state. “(Y/N)!” he shouted, quickly kneeling down beside you. Teekl jumped onto the bed, sitting in front of you to study you with an alarmed expression.

“Finally you came back, you son of a bitch,” you growled before screaming when a contraction hit. You clenched your fists around the blankets on the bed, forcing yourself to breathe through it. 

Klarion blinked at you, frozen in shock. “What’s wrong?” he demanded, choosing to ignore your insult. Teekl gave him a look, meowing that you were in labor. 

“This is all your fault,” you snapped at him when the contraction eased. “You did this to me by impregnating me and locking me alone in this tower!” Your back was killing you, and you were sweating so much you were sure there were puddles on the floor. 

The blood drained out of Klarion’s face. “Labor? But it’s not time yet!” You gave him a murderous look.

“Well, the baby wants to come out now,” you hissed, giving him another killer look. Teekl meowed at him to bring the doctors. 

“The doctors! We need the doctors!” Klarion broke into a sprint, opening up a portal and disappearing into it. You and Teekl looked at each other, shaking your heads. 

Teekl laid a paw on your hand as another contraction hit you. You screamed from the pain, exhausted already. Klarion reappeared at your scream, bring three doctors with him. He had the doctors locked in a magical cage, letting them out once they were through the portal. 

“Who the hell are you and why have you brought us here?” one of the doctors demanded. He started to approach Klarion, but Klarion sent a threatening blast his way to stop him. The other two doctors cowered in fear. 

Klarion’s face turned grotesque, his eyes darkening in rage. “Help her now!” He pointed at you causing all three doctors to look at you. You blushed from the attention, especially since you were in a state of undress. 

Professionalism won out fear as the doctors ran to your side. They hovered over you, asking you questions while performing an examination. Klarion paced nearby, running his fingers through his hair. Teekl joined him, hopping onto his shoulder.  

After twelve hours of labor, you found yourself lying peaceful in the bed with your beautiful baby boy in your arms. Klarion was hovering protectively nearby after sending the doctors back through a portal. Teekl was curled up next to you, purring away.

The baby in your arms yawned before looking at you with eyes that looked exactly like Klarion’s. Your little boy lifting his hand towards your face, a soft glow appearing from his fingers. You instantly felt less exhausted and more refreshed. 

“He’s still using his magic to help you,” Klarion remarked, eyeing his son with awe and bewilderment. 

“Why do you think he’d stop?” you replied, giving Klarion a soft smile. Klarion sunk down on the bed next to you, still staring at his son. “Do you want to hold him? You haven’t yet.” 

“I...” Klarion appeared uncertain. “I...I don’t know how.” 

“I’ll show you,” you soothed, nodding your head to tell him to hold his arms out. He did, allowing you to place your son into his arm. “Just make sure to support his head.” You adjusted his arm a little as Klarion and his son stared at each other.

“At least he’s not trying to keep me away from you,” Klarion muttered softly. Teekl woke up from beside you, walking over to greet your son. Your son attempted to grab her ear, but she flicked it out of his grasp. 

You giggled, settling back against the pillows. “He only did that because he didn’t know you yet.” A frown kept onto your lips as guilt twisted your stomach. You looked Klarion in the eye. “I’m sorry for running away. I know now that it was irrational and irresponsible thing for me to do.”

“I’m glad you realized,” Klarion sneered, giving you a reprimanding look. He started rocking his son, getting a little more confident. 

You sighed, laying a hand on his cheek. “Klarion, can you forgive me for running away?”

He looked at you, the love that shone in his eyes warmed your heart. “I do,” he admitted, looking back down at his son. “I forgave you a long time ago, (Y/N).”

Laying your hand on his shoulder, you yawned. “Does that mean we can move back home and out of this tower?”

Teekl meowed a warning. “True, precautions have to be taken,” Klarion agreed. He lowered his voice when your son fell asleep. “Doctor Fate has vowed to take our son away from us. The old fart.”

You snorted, reaching down to trace a finger down your son’s soft cheek. “Like we’d let him.” 

Klarion thought for a moment, sharing a look with Teekl. “We will wait a few weeks until you recover, then we will move home.”

Running your fingers through Klarion’s hair, you sighed at the thought of going back home. You glanced down at your newborn son, knowing everything from this point forward was going to be wonderful.

#klarion #klarion the witch boy #klarion x reader #klarion the witch boy x reader #dc comics imagines #dc reader insert #young justice imagines #yj imagine

[tipsycad147]

Baneful Herbs

Baneful herbs are herbs that can cause death or severe illness in the hands of one with malicious intentions, and also simply by accident. Some of these are so dangerous that they should be handled with gloves as the toxin can enter your system through your skin while others require you to ingest an often horrible tasting herb and still others are only dangerous if certain parts are ingested under certain conditions. Yet despite all of this, these herbs have a rich history in witchcraft.

Many of these herbs are beautiful or useful in magic and healing or even have delicious edible parts and these have earned them a place in our gardens and homes. Some embrace the baneful herb and keep a Baneful Herb garden out of interest or simply to keep all of the dangerous plants together to make it easier to protect them from children or pets. However you feel about baneful herbs, it’s a good idea to make sure you know what they are, just in case they’re in your yard, so you can protect your family and also best enjoy these fascinating plants.

The information provided here should not be taken as a substitute for medical guidance. If you suspect poisoning or have questions about poisonous plants, call the Poison Control Helpline at 1-800-222-1222. It is free, it is confidential, it is always available and they are experts. (I am not an expert.)

Baneful Plants in the Traditional Witches Garden

The herbs in this list have historical or folkloric mention and traditional use somewhere. Many modern witches grow these herbs merely for historical interest, and many still put them to use.

Hellebore, Helleborus spp Hellebore is a beautiful flower in the buttercup family that blooms in early spring in the shade. It was used by the ancients to heal a variety of ills, including insanity. But Hellebore is toxic causing symptoms including vertigo, ringing in the ears, excessive thirst, stupor, panic, a feeling of suffocation, swelling of the tongue and throat, vomiting, slowing of the heart rate, collapse and death. Luckily, hellebore tastes horrible and burns going down, so poisoning events are rare. Some believe that Alexander the Great died of Hellebore poisoning. Hellebore is used in invisibility spells and preparing talismans.

Hemlock Hemlock is the common name given to a number of plants in the carrot family including the aptly named Poison Hemlock Conium maculatum, the water hemlocks Cicuta spp and the water dropworts Oenanthe spp. They are mentioned in folklore, but aren’t very useful beyond poisoning and are really unattractive plants, so I actually hesitate to suggest that many witches purposefully grew them historically. They’re easy enough to wildcraft if you really need them. Poison hemlock is best known for being the instrument of execution of Socrates. Water hemlock is notable for its quick action, often producing symptoms within 15 minutes including severe seizures. Accidental poisonings occur because these plants strongly resemble edible species within the carrot family, like parsnip, celery and carrots.

Belladonna Atropa belladonna Also known as Deadly Nightshade or simply Nightshade, this plant has a lot of very interesting history which we will continue to explore on its dedicated page. Belladonna has many medical and folkloric uses, but it is a highly toxic plant. It is especially dangerous because the berries are attractive and sweet and yet just five could kill and adult. Symptoms include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, very fast heart rate, difficulty walking, loss of balance, headache, flushing of skin and the appearance of a rash or hives, dry mouth, slurred speech, inability to urinate or defecate, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, convulsions and general disruption of the parasympathetic nervous system. Recovery is possible if medical treatment is received in time. Traditionally, Belladonna is said to be another ingredient in flying ointment and is used in magick to enhance beauty.

Datura, Datura spp Daturas are striking garden flowers with some species (Moonflower) blooming only at night, making them a popular addition to the a Moon Garden. All species of Datura are very poisonous. The seeds and flowers are the most toxic parts of the plant. However, they have been used for centuries as medicine and are, unfortunately, occasionally purposely ingested to experience their hallucinogenic effects. Symptoms of datura poisoning include delirium, elevated body temperature, increased heart rate, abnormal behaviour, dilated pupils, painful sensitivity to light. Those who survive often report amnesia of the event, or that it was a horrible experience. Datura is said to allow one to see spirits and to induce psychic dreams as well as to aid in hex-breaking work. It is also mentioned in recipes for flying ointment.

Foxglove Digitalis spp Foxglove is a staple of cottage and witches gardens, a star in shady places and is also used to create medicine for heart disease and an appetite suppressant. The poison in foxglove is a cardiotoxin, which is why it’s so popular as a murder weapon in TV shows for making it look like a heart attack. But that is fiction. Foxglove poisoning causes visual disturbances including halos and abnormal colour vision (seeing yellow), wild hallucinations, delirium, drooling, weakness, dilated pupils, tremors, severe abdominal pain, diarrhoea, nausea, and seizures as well as heart arrhythmia and abnormal heart rate. It’s very unpleasant. The poison remains potent in the plant regardless of heat or drying. People have been poisoned by mistaking foxglove for Comfrey. Foxglove is a popular faerie plant.

Henbane Although every single part of henbane is toxic, it does have some healing properties and is an ingredient in some of your more classic magickal brews so it is a staple in many a witch’s garden. It is used to communicate with the dead and other spirits and for binding spells. Henbane is said to be another favourite of the faeries. Symptoms of henbane toxicity include hallucinations (particularly the sensation of flight), restlessness, dilated pupils and a flushed appearance.

Aconite Aconitum spp Also related to the buttercups family, monkshood and wolfsbane have a fast-acting poison that can have you puking in the morning and dead by lunchtime. The really scary thing about this plant is that you don’t have to eat it. It can be absorbed through the skin, and, according to the lore, was used in flying ointment. Witches gathering monkshood are encouraged to wear gloves and know the signs of toxicity. It begins with nausea and diarrhoea and progresses to a tingling sensation and numbness in the mouth and throat and a burning sensation of the abdomen. The numbness and tingling would then spread through the body accompanied by weakness of the limbs. This may all be accompanied by sweating, dizziness, headache, confusion and difficulty breathing. Finally, the cardiac symptoms kick in, arrhythmia, a drop in blood pressure and finally paralysis of the heart and respiratory system. Survival is possible with supportive care, particularly if charcoal is administered within the first hour.

Elder Sambucus spp sp Elders give us medicine and tasty berries for wine and jelly, but the entire plant is poisonous, though not usually deadly. The unripe berries are toxic and in some species, the ripe berries are only slightly less so. Cooking the berries renders them edible, but the leaves, wood, and seeds of the elder remain toxic. Elder twigs should never be used to make cooking stakes or touch food. The plant can cause a build-up of cyanide in the body over time, even if it doesn’t make you sick right away. Symptoms include nausea, vomiting, muscle weakness, abdominal pain, dizziness, numbness, and stupor. One incident isn’t likely to kill an otherwise healthy adult, but children and animals are especially at risk.

Mandrake Mandrake is an herb heavy with lore that has earned its place in the witch’s garden or herb chest. It is used in an impressive variety of spells, from love spells to the treatment and prevention of demonic possession. It also has an impressive number of toxic alkaloids that result in a number of unpleasant symptoms if ingested including hallucinations, hyperactivity, dilated pupils, blurred vision, dry mouth, difficulty urinating, flushed appearance, dizziness, nausea, and rapid heart rate.

Mistletoe From what I understand of Mistletoe, it’s either in your garden or not and you have no choice in the matter. But even if it’s not, many witches will buy some as it’s full of magickal uses. Only eight of the 43 species of mistletoe are toxic, including the two most commonly seen Phoradendoron flavescens and Viscum album. All parts of these mistletoes is toxic with the leaves carrying the highest concentration of toxins. You have to eat quite a bit of it to get sick, but children and pets will get sicker sooner. The most severe sickness occurs among women attempting to use mistletoe tea to bring on an abortion. Symptoms include abdominal distress, severe vomiting and diarrhoea, blurred vision, weakness and drowsiness. It is important that the patient receive supportive medical care if recovery is to occur.

Wormwood Wormwood is the notorious thujone-containing herb blamed for the purported narcotic effects of absinthe. In small quantities, wormwood is said to stimulate the appetite and the mind, but in larger quantities, which vary by individual tolerance, wormwood can cause anything from headaches and nervousness to insomnia, to convulsions. Wormwood is used primarily for banishing and protection spells.

Yew Taxus baccata Yews are popular landscaping plants and witches love them too as they link us to the Underworld and are considered sacred to several traditions. But yews are highly toxic with the interesting exception of the juicy red aril that surrounds the (highly toxic) seed. I am told it is delicious. The leaves/needles are also toxic and actually increase in potency when dried. Symptoms of yew poisoning may appear mild or not present until it is very advanced. Symptoms include accelerated heart rate, muscle tremors, difficulty breathing, poor circulation, (blue lips, cold limbs) fainting and heart failure.

More Baneful Garden Plants

These herbs don’t have as common mention in the folkloric record of witchcraft as others, but they are oft seen in gardens. Many do have some magickal or healing use and so are of interest to modern witches and cunning folk. Many of these plants are simply not native to Europe and so, while they were likely used in their native lands, witches didn’t start using them until more recently. Some are simply more popular for their ornamental value than they are for their magickal and healing ones. They are also toxic.

Larkspur, Consolida spp. Larkspur is a member of the buttercup family and, like the rest of them, it contains highly toxic compounds. It is also palatable when in flower. The danger is greatest to grazing livestock. Symptoms include nervousness, weakness, staggering, rapid pulse and bloat. It is important to keep the victim calm to avoid exacerbating symptoms and to keep the head raised, lay an animal facing uphill.

Delphinium Delphinium spp. Delphinium is also called Larkspur and they are very similar plants with similar toxic effects. The poison in Delphinium is most potent in the young plant where the flowers are not yet visible and so the plant has not been identified. It causes muscular issues and affects the heart. Again, most poisonings affect livestock, particularly cattle. The plants also cause significant skin irritation.

Jessamine Gelsemium sempervirens Also called woodbine and evening trumpet, Jessamine is not to be confused with Jasmine, which is generally considered harmless. Every part of this plant contains neurotoxins which cause weakness, paralysis, difficultly swallowing, slowed respiration and vision issues. There are reports that Jessamine is even toxic to bees.

Oleander Nerium Oleander The toxicity of oleander has inspired song. It is considered one of the most toxic of commonly grown garden plants. However, cases of poisoning are rare as it does us the favour of having irritating sap, although the leaves are sweet. Death in these cases is also rare as symptoms present quickly allowing for quick treatment. Signs of Oleander poisoning include abdominal pain, salivation, vomiting, diarrhoea that may contain blood, irregular heartbeat, pale, cold limbs, drowsiness, tremors, seizures, collapse and coma. Treatments includes inducing vomiting and swallowing charcoal to prevent the further absorption of toxins and close medical supervision is required to treat any cardiac symptoms that may come up. All parts of the plant are toxic and retain toxic effects after heating and drying. Sticks used to spear food can transfer toxins to the food.

Castor Bean Ricinus communis Some of what you learned on Breaking Bad is true. Castor bean, a plant that makes an impressive impact in a tropical garden, is very toxic. According to the 2007 Guinness Book of World Records, it is the most poisonous plant in the world. The entire plant is toxic, but the seeds hold the most concentrated poison, ricin. Ricin is water-soluble, so castor oil can be produced from castor beans with the ricin completely absent. But ricin’s water solubility allows it to absorb readily into the digestive system. Symptoms appear anywhere from 2 to 24 hours later and include loss of appetite, abdominal pain, diarrhoea, excessive thirst, weakness, burning of the mouth and throat, muscle twitching, vision disturbances, decreased reflexes, convulsions, paralysis, and coma. Symptoms can carry on for up to a week before death finally occurs due to the paralysis of the respiratory system. A full recovery can sometimes be made with supportive care.

Gloriosa, Gloriosa superba This impressive-looking garden plant is also called Flame Lily. It has been used for medicine in many cultures and has naturalised worldwide where conditions are suitable. The entire plant is poisonous and their tubers have been mistaken for edible species, like sweet potatoes. The symptoms of Gloriosa poisoning are pretty impressive and begin within a few hours. It begins with nausea and vomiting, numbness and tingling around the mouth and throat, abdominal pain and bloody diarrhoea, muscle pain, confusion, respiratory depression, kidney failure, lowered blood pressure, abnormal bleeding, blood in the urine, hair loss, neuropathy and peeling skin. While mild poisonings are survivable with treatment, when death occurs it’s likely to be due to multiple organ failure.

Angel’s Trumpet, Brugmansia spp Angel’s trumpet is a really impressive plant. The flowers are beautiful and they smell amazing. They’re closely related to Datura and equally deadly poison. The entire plant is poisonous, but the seeds and the leaves are the most toxic. Symptoms of Angel’s Trumpet poisoning include migraine-like headaches, visual and auditory hallucinations, dry mouth, diarrhoea, confusion, dilated pupils and paralysis of the smooth muscles. Many poisonings occur when people consume the plant on purpose to experience its hallucinatory effects, though survivors often report either complete amnesia of the event or that it was horrific.

Mayapple Mayapple, also called American Mandrake is one of my favourite spring plants. Although the entire plant is toxic, the ripe fruit’s toxicity is so low as to not be an issue unless you’re gorging yourself on them. Eating any part of the rest of the plant, however, can cause abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, low blood pressure, confusion, dizziness, hallucination, lowered reflexes, weakness, seizures, stupor, numbness, and tingling of the extremities, rapid pulse, respiratory issues, organ damage, and coma. Just allowing some of the sap to get onto open skin can produce symptoms.

Nicotiana, aka Tobacco Nicotiana species contain nicotine and other toxins in their leaves as a defence against predators, particularly caterpillars and insects that chew on leaves. The most popular garden versions release amazing fragrance at night, attracting their moth pollinators and so are used in moon gardens. The Nicotiana species of interest to a witch do not tend to be as attractive, but have higher levels of toxins. Humans and animals who have ingested nicotiana species may present with drooling, sweating, dizziness, nausea, loss of coordination, confusion, racing heart, constricted pupils, loss of consciousness and paralysis. Death can result. These symptoms can be caused by eating nicotiana species and by inhaling a large concentration of the toxins.

Pokeweed Phytolacca americana Pokeweed is a lovely plant that grows wild throughout the US. The entire plant is toxic though the ripe berries are slightly less toxic than the rest of the plant. Very young shoots are gathered by some brave souls and specially prepared and eaten under the name poke salet. Symptoms of poisoning include burning sensation in the mouth, excessive salivation, abdominal pain, vomiting and bloody diarrhoea, anemia, changes in heart rate, respiratory distress and convulsions. A full recovery can be made with medical support, assuming you were healthy to begin with.

Maybe Not Baneful but Worth Mentioning

Narcissus, Narcissus spp Daffodils are hugely popular spring garden flowers with a bit of lore behind them. They are often chosen to brighten up a spot where other plants have been browsed by deer or woodchucks since they are not attractive to them. Human poisonings are rare and usually occur when daffodil bulbs are confused with onions or Jerusalem artichokes. Cats also tend to chew on the leaves. Narcissus poisoning is usually mild, but unpleasant with the usual vomiting, diarrhoea, abdominal pain, excessive salivation, changes to heart rate and breathing. A full recovery can be expected with proper supportive care. Yea, not exactly baneful, just don’t plant them in your vegetable patch.

Lily of the Valley Convallaria majalis Lily of the Valley is a popular woodland garden plant for its hardy nature, it’s dainty appearance and it’s sweet fragrance. It is a plant steeped in lore and popular in wedding bouquets. It is also another plant whose toxins can easily be absorbed through the skin and I know of several gardeners who have done this. Symptoms include dizziness, confusion, lethargy, nausea and headaches, visual disturbances and dilated pupils, flushing of the skin and the appearance of hives or a rash, hot flashes, excessive urination, cardiac arrhythmia, collapse, coma and death. Of course, eating Lily of the Valley is even more dangerous as is drinking the water the plants have been in. Survival by otherwise healthy adults is very likely with good supportive care.

Less Magical, but Toxic

False Hellebore Veratrum viride False hellebore is not likely to be in your garden except as a weed. I mention it only because it shares the name hellebore so it’s of some interest. Although it has some historic Native American use, it’s not used for much by anyone today. And it’s pretty unattractive too. This is an American native plant that is detested by farmers as a livestock killer. It can also cause pregnant livestock to bear deformed offspring. This highly toxic plant causes nausea and vomiting, vertigo, cold sweats, lowered blood pressure, cardiac arrhythmia and slowed respiration.

Autumn Crocus Colchicum autumnale Autumn crocus is not a true crocus although it resembles one. Eating a true crocus will make you sick, but once you’ve had a good purge, you’ll be fine. Eating an autumn crocus can lead to gastrointestinal bleeding, liver and kidney damage, respiratory distress, and seizures. Autumn crocus does have therapeutic uses. Most poisonings occur when autumn crocus is mistaken for wild garlic by foragers. Survival does not seem to be likely with this one.

Learn More

If you suspect poisoning or have any questions about poisoning prevention, call the National Poison Control Center immediately at 1-800-222-1222. This is free, confidential and available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a non-emergency number. Do not wait for symptoms or attempt home care without calling them first. If symptoms have appeared, call 911 or transport the victim to the nearest emergency room immediately.

ASPCA’s Toxic and Non-Toxic Plants The Pet Poison Helpline

Note to add calamus, broom, deer tongue, High John the Conqueror, pennyroyal, tonka.

https://witchipedia.com/glossary/baneful-herbs/