#// i just have thoughts in my head rn !

[dandelion-roots]

No matter what you do, you just can't shake him off, can you, Chūya?

[lyrics: Florence + the Machine | id in alt]

EDIT: I made a whole ass janky animatic to this song, enjoy!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #nakahara chūya #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #ok so uh. i had so many thoughts while drawing this (for TEN HOURS my hand...) but then it came time to post it #and i considered srsly an emily bronte quote (pls dont shoot- if wuthering heights has anything going for it its violence and intensity) #but it didnt fit quite right so i left it out #i have so many thoughts and feelings i have no more words #my fave is the second drawing but i think the fourth is the best #dazai's* collar on chuuya (*possibly related to dazai and the whole dog thing. dont ask what going on in my head) #and chuuya's hand on dazai's throat #what was it someone said in tags of my gon charov bsd drawing?? im eating drywall or smt similar?? thats me rn #double black #also to ppl who know the song- shake it out- yes i removed one lyric i just couldnt make it work #i considered putting it as the caption but didnt work there either rip #also removed the (shake him off) that's part of the lyrics but i did put that in the caption. galaxy brain am i right #also the poses in drawing 1 and 2 are purposefully v similar #edit: fixed image 1 so the text is the same as in all other images fear not u did not imagine it hypothetical person im talking to rn

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way) #(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle) #anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you... #...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition] #i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀 #even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭 #it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected... #...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

[soloorganaas]

i just read this sentence in hp lexicon:

But the most important defensive measure the Lupin taught Harry was outside of class, the Patronus Charm, "Expecto Patronum" which he used to save himself and his godfather, Sirius Black, from Dementors

and i cannot believe it took me until today to connect the dots that remus was indirectly responsible for saving sirius’s life

#in my head i was always like oh yeah patronus saves harry protects him from his traumas etc etc #i have read PoA 200000000 times #this is so embarrassing but i am also full of a lot of Feelings rn #wolfstar #fam: christmas gift #hp #like all that time he thought sirius was guilty he was inadvertently teaching harry what he needed to know to stop the love of remus's life #who was actually innocent from being lost to him forever just after he'd got him back #i am so upset #hp meta

[floorpancakes]

ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think

#alien stage #ramble #idk #till alien stage #as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it #till era would be so fucking fun #especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?) #random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple #idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally #cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs #i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately #tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what #honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is #till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now #no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily #i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment #cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before #while handling the mizi desth thing #that he assumed was happening #if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive #knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt #and knowing he has a way out of the cage #because its a triple whammy #i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things #and what sort of person the revelations will make him become #also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now

[sharkdays]

"That despite having experienced inhuman suffering, she has nonetheless been able to gain the strength to face life."

#collei #genshin impact #gi #erm. hi #something not pokemon related for once? shocker i know #anywas this was a collei piece i did a while ago that i never finished #been having Emotions abt her recently and i wanted to share even if it's a little messy... #anyways. she makes me insane. #also yes the flowers have meanings it was Intentional. however my drawing skills for nature and memory are both not all there so. #take it as you will #anyways collei i love you girl... #shes a physical manifestation of death and rebirth she's resurrection do YOU SEE MY VISION #also i miss you short haired collei but her hairstyle rn is cute too... #my collei design in my head has changed so much lmao. i tried making her a little more matching to how she is in my head now #thinking abt her growth and learning as a form of defiance. reclaiming her life.... #she refused to die!!!!! and now she's hurting but alive!!! im gonna pass out dont look at me. #i am not nearly as good as putting my thoughts into words as some other collei enthusiasts so Just Trust Me #shark's scribbles

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I feel like barnabys favorite drink (alcoholic) might be a old fashioned? And non alcoholic mixed drink. Might be a Shirley temple. (Which Is my favorite non alcoholic mixed drink!)

(Of course this is all my opinion! But yea!

he Does feel like a classy guy, huh? but who's to say! Who's. To. Say...

#ohhhh dont say shirley temple thats one of my favs as well.... #dont put that thought in my head... #oh what i wouldnt do for one rn. its been so long </3 #catch me going to the bar and getting one of those instead of Anything else #rambles from the bog #but yeah. who knows maybe he'd enjoy just plain whiskey #a nice Quality bourbon perhaps... #we're probably way off the mark here! #no wait he seems to have a sweet tooth given his hotdog order... as well as a lack of tastebuds... #idk. you know that guy who makes hellish alcohol concoctions in bathtubs. bathtub jungle juice #maybe barn would enjoy That. absolutely absurd concept.... #but as always! what do i know! #lmfao im picturing him swirling whipped cream on whiskey aaslcnjalscnslkd + a cherry.... maybe some sprinkles.... #actually that doesnt sound too bad. hm. #we Do have whiskey i think... maybe ill have some fun tomorrow #nah actually im not a big fan of straight whiskey #im more of a rum guy... maybe ill do that to some Rum...

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

if you struggle with mental health, one piece of advice i would genuinely give you is learn to knit.

or crochet: something repetitive to do with your hands, assuming you're capable of it. if you're like me and learnt to knit as a kid but let it lie fallow for a long time, it may be that starting a large, simple project (for me it was a cloak, but a blanket could work too) gets you back into it. or maybe doing something smaller, idk. i personally found socks really hard for a while because they felt smaller than my cloak but weren't getting Done quick enough for me. as i've sped up i find it more interesting to knit socks.

regardless, a repetitive task is great for emotional regulation (also see: autistic stimming), and something that you can look at and go hey i've done something, unlike simply using a fidget toy, can also help to pick your mood up when the brain is being cruel.

it's also useful as a conversation starter or distracter if you don't know what to talk about. if you're wanting to talk to older people also you're more likely to reel them in with knitting (i work better with older people, and 99% of people who ask what i'm knitting are older than me). it also gives you the opportunity to not make eye contact because you're busy knitting, even if you're still carrying on a conversation. if you're absolutely stuck for conversation you can count your stitches and people might stop bothering you.

if you have trouble focusing without doing something with your hands, you can knit! i knit a lot in church, and it helps me to focus on what's being said.

i probably have more reasons you should pick up knitting, but i can't recall them right now, so yeah.

#knitting #catkin knits #i remember one specific time back in october where i was sitting in Bible class utterly unable to stop the most horrible thoughts going #through my head. i was knitting as fast as i've ever knitted. no exaggeration to say i was knitting to stop myself from attempting to die. #and afterwards i sat there in the corner knitting for all i was worth. just repeating to myself 'not now. i am not killing myself now.' #and someone saw me in the corner frantically knitting and came to ask if i was ok. and asked how my mental health was. #must've been end of oct bc it was the first wednesday after i was out of psych ward. and i was having lots of thoughts about the method #i'd used for what is still my most recent suicide attempt. which was in october. and i had the means with me. #it would have been a horrible thing to do. to kill oneself at Bible class. with children around. but i wasn't in a particularly hinged stat #of mind at the time. that's approximately the only clear memory i have of that time in fact. #anyway idk why im thinking of that rn when im fine

[jebiknights]

Sometimes you see stuff that's for YOUR ship and you're just like ... Everyone is allowed to have their own interpretation it's not a big deal

#this is vague yes but its bc its literally not serious in the slightest lmao #theres just a lot of rexwalker content on my dash rn which i love!!! #but some people have veryyyy different interpretations of the dynamic from me lmao #and im just like hm #anyway like i said the stupidest post possible prompted this lmao #like too embarrassing to admit in public #comm chatter #ugh i need to work on my false pretenses fic if my head is gonna get this wrapped up in rex walker thoughts

[rqg179]

holy shit did kipperlilly kill buddy so that if kristen died no one would be able to bring her back and the only member of the church of cassandra would be gone

#i mean there was a lot at play here #it sounds like buddy wouldn't have been able to revive them even if he hadn't been murdered because the gems weren't in his bag?? #unclear whether he knew that or not - currently i'm inclined to believe he was being genuine about reviving them #but someone had stolen the gems so he couldn't. i might be giving him too much credit idk #but i think kipperlilly's original plan was to kill gavin pundle to sabotage their exam - buddy wouldn't have been able to bring him back #w/o the gems and neither would kristen. so their grade would be significantly impacted #and if neither cleric can bring anybody back and the proctor isn't there to oversee the fight the monsters might have just kept coming #until the bad kids really did all drop #but idk why kipperlilly would suddenly switch to killing buddy if that wasn't the original plan and if he already couldn't revivify them?? #unclear also how much oisin knew of this. rn im wondering if he was onboard w sabotaging the exam but didnt know she was going to kill budd #& the plane shift was an immediate shock reaction #or i did see someone suggest he wasn't even there to see it which. is also possible #idk just. many thoughts. head full. what the fuck was up with that preview also #my post #d20 #fantasy high #fhjy

[averlym]

(click for better resolution, etc.)

#adamandi #ambrose wellington bassford #infer as you will i suppose. wanted to draw a statue ambrose but accidentally painted it because smth smth blending fits him #again. main things taken from lyrics of the actual show ++ this definition i checked with google because i didn't remember it off the top #of my head. but Thoughts indeed #sfgdhhdf ok hello i am back today has been a Day (not very good) (oh well) (small mercies) ... #did not expect the melliot to find this so quickly but since i guess the Official Tumblr has reblogged it i'll just edit this one. #as opposed to reuploading. o//o #i painted it at 2am on impulse and have very little recollection of the whole event -? and then in a fit of pique added words and posted it #it is Very different from the original draft. i'd like to maybe do that one justice someday... anyways something something sometimes #a piece of art you make organically Evolves of its own volition... anyways. #maybe i'm projecting but recently (tuesday?) i found out something Important i had in the works Collapsed in the kiln #kaboom. ah the perils of ceramics. anyway thanks to the messed up 3d of everything i'm working on rn (the pros and cons of visual art subj #is that you get to make art for a grade) and. ceramics and sculpture and classics etcetera. <blinks> wow i really latched on to art aspects. #but nevertheless! ambrose brainrot real. iirc my thoughts were smth like. most strongly. that contrapposto? based on my school art history #was that it evolved from the very neutral rigid ancient greek sculptures of people which were all about Mathematical Symmetry. because #the main thing about contrapposto was that it reflected irl people more... more life-like? so it's very ironic to me #that Alive ambrose went and tried to turn himself into a statue. with part of the draw being contrapposto.. like????? #ah yes you like this sculpture because it's lifelike. and you'd rather be a sculpture than alive huh. the contrasts are !! in my head #also maybe i just.. wanted to paint... idk i had ambrose on the brain yesterday and it was something about sculptural messed up perfection #fun fact!!! the skin and hair i all greyed out to look like marble. fun fact number two: he has no eyes in this. like no pupils :3 #fun fact number 3 (irrelevant) marble statues are only common wrt ancient greece bc the romans iirc came along and repurposed the bronzes. #because apparently bronze was a Hot Commodity at the time. and in return to preserve the art they made marble replicas. so most marble #ancient greek statues are apparently copies and the originals had totally different aesthetics #fun fact number 4: the background is a very greyed out image of my broken ceramics.. i wanted something nice to come out of it at least #fun fact number 5: i wanted to make him crack. like shattered ceramic or smth. that was the original idea. but instead it went to the pretty #sculpture route... kinda wanna make the messed up one though!! #fun fact number 6! because of Art Studio i'm covered in white paint and like it doesn't come off so it's been on my fingers and arms and #basically everywhere. so flesh turning into white stuff aes is fascinating i wanna explore... fun fact no.7.. i have accidentally maybe #began using screenshots as drawing practice. idk what to do with this info. if anything nice turns up ig i'll post it maybe

[vigilskeep]

apostate cousland for all the other reasons but also because i’ve always really liked witch-king as a title

#i know he wouldnt be a king proper but anora could let him have it just for him to be referred to as her attack dog witch-king #does his marital duty (appears out of nowhere every so often to be sicced on her enemies with fire and tempest) #i thought it would be impossible to do the anora marriage drama with apostate cousland but honestly with all ferelden has going on #im not even remotely considering doing this rn i just still think of this guy in my head sometimes

[httpiastri]

Hi🤭👋

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGed83E5g/

You see It?! YOU HEAR IT?

He said he likes to be in control

Can you feed us a smut w dom Lando x younger sis of one of the drivers

Dom Lando🫠

i usually save requests in my inbox until i write them but i just had to share this

making me go feral honestly 🫠🫠🫠 what the frick? lando?? phrasing it like that???? oh my godddddd

#i dont usually go for the like hard dom stuff but like #jesus christ if i had a lando..... he could be as dom as he wanted #dom lando x younger sis of someone is also making me go feral #i also would love me some possessive lando idk about yall #'you're mine and only mine' 'you cant even look at him' 'be as loud as you want baby; let them know who you belong to' #aaaa #and okay on the topic of him saying he needs to be control #it would be so hot to like tie him up or use a blindfold on him..... #him not being able to touch you because his hands are tied to the bedframe.. just whining when you've got your hands all over his body #annoyed because 'this isn't how its supposed to be...' #and then when you release him he just needs to show you whos actually in charge #okay sorry i shouldnt be writing this rn 🫠 too tired #just having a lot of lando thoughts #thank you for this ask anon 🫡🫡🫡 the tiktok vid will forever live rent free in my head #asks! #anon!

[mars-ipan]

do you guys think aziraphale heard the myth of prometheus for the first time and lost his mind a little

#marzi speaks #good omens #aziraphale #this is lighthearted but also not at all. i just don’t have big words rn #can you imagine though. aziraphale is gomensverse’s prometheus #he brought humans fire. #do you think he heard of prometheus and suddenly his fear of disobeying god reared its ugly head with a vengeance #do you think he remembered lying to god about it. wondered if it was that that would do him in instead of the original theft #do you think he spent nights upon nights wondering when he would be chained to his rock #wondering when his crow would come eat his liver for all of eternity #do you think he wondered if it already had? #not in the shape of a crow- but of a snake- a charming snake that slithered over and ate his heart again and again and again #he had appeared shortly after aziraphale gave up the sword; after all. aziraphale told him and everything #perhaps that was his punishment. perhaps She was playing a cruel little game by sending him someone he wanted so much but could never have #maybe that was the rock. the chain. the inability to move- to do anything more than sit there in anguish #the crow came in the form of that sharp mind and clever tongue. it dug straight to the core of his heart and tore it to shreds #picked it apart; observed; and ate #do you think he worried on and off about that for centuries. millenia #do you think he thought about it every time that demon of his did something so utterly charming #‘oh- there’s another piece of my heart- a morsel for him to savor again and again’ #do you think he thought about it when he kissed. felt those lips on his like a sharp beak straight through his body #do you think he minded. do you think he thought ‘i would lay in these chains forever if you would just do that again; right now.’ #do you think he broke those chains anyway. #I’M INSAAANE turns out i did have big words for it

[dndads-winter-gift-exchange]

Assignments Update!

Hey Doodlers! Exciting news- we're nearly finished with assignments!

After a lot of hard work on our end and patience from you, we're finally nearing the end of assignments. Which is so exciting!! We'll 100% be finished by the end of the day today, and will be sending them out tomorrow, January 5th, since it's getting pretty late for us and we want to be alert to make sure sending goes smoothly.

Thank you all for your kindness in dealing with the delays, we deeply appreciate it. We'll post when assignments start sending, and then post again when they're all sent out. We hope you're all as stoked as we are- go Doodlers!

#updates #info #important #i know we keep saying it over and over but we really and truly are excited for this to start. we know it's taking a bit longer #but hope that it turns out to be worth it to you all!! #(sammy here) my exhibit is bleeding a little more into things than i thought it would and it's 100% on me for not making more wiggle room #but at the same time there's not much that could have been done anyway. so yeah! #the current biggest problem is people maybe getting anxious over having less time and this event becoming stressful for them. which #is the last thing we want because this event is ALWAYS meant to be just. fun. #so we'll probably be making a poll soon asking if people would like us to push back our gifting week dates and by how much #so yeah! just to keep you all in the loop. i know not everyone reads tags but i figure a small heads up is probably nice #since i don't have the time to make a big post rn. basically things are coming and i swear we're doing all we can for this event #even if there have been delays. we're still very passionate. thank you and bye bye

[drunk-fantasies]

cop!sunghoon x reader is in works⁉️(meaning i’m imagining things because of the rookie)

#i just know he would put handcuffs to a good use #suffer with me cause i have too many thoughts like this in my head rn #enhypen smut #sunghoon enhypen #coming maybe soon???

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

most nights kinda suck. but sometimes youre relaxing in a nice motel and one of the tv channels is playing 9-1-1 episodes <3 and everything feels like it'll be okay for a few hours <3

#rn they got the BANGER prison ep playing #where buddie is held at gunpoint together <3 hostage husbands <3 #god and motel beds??? they almost make me wish my bed was on the ground #bc its So So fun to just. gently Toss myself onto it #theres room to stretch.... fun.... #man and i have my favorite cheetos too! #and tomorrow its My turn to drive the 9 hours <3 #< said with forced cheer through clenched teeth #BEN BARNES AD JUMPSCARE WHAT THE FUCK #sorry. that got me. fuckin. ben barnes.... #absolutely unprompted #also im having angsty wh thoughts that i cant Wait to scribble. or write maybe? idk! #when i scribble something fluffy my brain immediately counteracts it with Pain #like the barnaby & wally Playing scribbles! #yeah! what if barnaby accidentally decapitates wally! what then! fun thoughts For Me To Enjoy! #the scene is Very Clear in my head!! its tasty #RAVI NO DONT DO IT #sorry watching the Episode and my boy ravi is about to risk his life #he'll be fine but still. RAVI NOOOOOOO