#[ even eventually feel as their life isn't something to endure but to live through it ] | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maple-the-awesome · 4 months

Text

He Becomes a Dad! || Part 1/2

PART 2

Pairing: Time, Four, Legend, Hyrule x Reader

Overview: Congratulations, you're new parents 🎉 Some of the Links are prepared. Others...might need a moment to gather themselves. But rest assured! At the end of the day, they're all going to get a handle on this whole dad thing. I'm a sucker for family tropes and there simply aren't enough out there for the Chain to quench my thirst, so here it is, I'm adding my contribution👍 Btw, there will be only two parts for this prompt since Wind will be excluded for obvious reasons. Baby making isn't a platonic activity🤷‍♀️

Zelda Masterlist 🩵Fandom Masterlist

You only brought the topic of children up to your husband once. It was at some point during the early half of your marriage and after a particularly lengthy day of enduring Malon’s well-meant pestering. Time, beside being caught slightly off guard, delivered a straightforward answer:

“It wouldn’t feel right bringing kids into this world, especially when I would hardly be home to help you rear them.”

Now, you can’t lie and say you weren’t at all disappointed by this answer, although you wouldn’t say you had the rug completely pulled from beneath you. You understood the true implications behind Time’s statement right away. It’s the same reason he took so long to let himself marry you. It’s not you nor a disgust towards children, but rather an unspoken fear of building a life where he’s too happy - one that could be ripped away from him at a moment’s notice as has seemed to be the case for his younger years.

Although his worries are needless, you never pushed against his boundaries because you could at least see the sense in his argument. Sure, the idea of having children did always appeal to you deep down, however between Time’s constant traveling and your hard work helping at Lon Lon Ranch, it would be difficult to squeeze a family into the schedule. There was no sense in forcing him into a commitment he wasn’t ready for nor one you weren’t in a position to properly foster.

Twelve years of blissful marriage passed before your plans changed. The blame lies with those other heroes, too. One would think traveling alongside a group of unruly young boys would’ve made someone more certain of their decision to never again subject themselves to such a headache, yet it apparently had the opposite effect on your dear husband.

Discovering first hand how much pride he could feel towards a descendant was life-altering, to put it light. Twilight was living proof that somewhere along the line, Time does something right. Whatever kids he might have will grow up to have children of their own and so on…Not to mention Twilight isn’t a terrible outcome by any means. To raise someone with the possibility of them turning out like him and to do so with you of all people? Well, needless to say, it was settled rather quickly after that: Time wanted kids.

Call it baby-fever if you will, but he was suddenly rather eager about the concept he had once avoided like the plague. He brought it up through not-so-subtly hints at first, then when you outright asked him if he was being serious, he went on a slightly nervous spew about your home being too quiet and how he could officially retire from traveling to be home more and it’s really a shame that you have an extra bedroom just sitting around - You just had to kiss him to shut him up which eventually led to…other things. Let’s just say you both got started right away.

It took you twelve years to realize you did indeed want kids yet less than a year to actually be holding them for the first time. It turns out even the universe was impatiently waiting for you both to come to your senses, so once you finally had, it decided to award you with not one, but two beautiful girls whom you affectionately named Saria after Time’s old friend and Mallory, a mix between melody and Malon, their ever-so-excited godmother.

It’s safe to say that the twins are pretty spoiled. Malon has been over almost everyday, bringing you plenty of baked goods as a bribe to let her spend more time with her favorite goddaughters and you have practically every baby related item that you could need, courtesy of the Queen of Hyrule herself, but of course, it’s their parents who love them the most.

Never in his wildest dreams did Time think it would be possible to feel so at peace with the life he’s built. For so many years, he feared true happiness was impossible - that every turn would result in the same cruel fate he had been subjected to during most of his existence - and yet for the last couple of nights, he’s held it in his arms. He’s watched the moon rise outside his window while playing soft lullabies on his ocarina, you cuddled by his side with your daughters shared between you both. You wear a small smile even in sleep and he swears the girls match it, too; he definitely does himself…This is a priceless treasure he’ll give his life to protect.

Four and you had already been married for a few years by the time you found out you’re pregnant. It’s not to say you were actively planning for it, although you also weren’t actively trying not to either.

It had been agreed upon early in your relationship that kids would be nice should they come your way, therefore you were both equally excited that your wishes were finally being granted, so much so that the nursery was finished within the first month (courtesy of your handy husband). It’s painted in beautiful pastels that are easy on the eyes and decorated with many toys Four had hand-carved himself; a useful craft he’s now very appreciative towards Sky for teaching him.

Seeing as this was already a somewhat anticipated next step in your lives, Four’s pretty relaxed throughout the process despite its many challenges. For starters, pregnancy itself unfortunately isn't as much of a 'blessing' for you as some have made it sound. You’re rather sick from beginning to end. If it isn't your inability to keep food down (especially in the early stages) or your fluctuating blood pressure, then it’s the aching you constantly feel thanks to both your very heavy bump and extremely active baby who just loves to make sure you never forgot about their existence by kicking you as hard as possible day and night.

Worry not. Four has made your struggles more bearable by being a darling husband through and through. He’s by your side during each doctor’s visit, does his own personal research on all things baby-related, and helps with every chore he can to give you at least some rest even if just for a quick nap, however most spectacularly, he does all of this without ever being too overbearing.

Although certainly concerned for your health, Four can recognize your strength any day of the week, especially when you've been rolling with the punches like a warrior queen during such a draining pregnancy. Anxious, sure, but not afraid. Why would he be? He’s confident that you’re both prepared to face anything together! …That is, until you actually went into labor…

Yeah, remember that previously mentioned, relaxed and darling husband? Forget about him. Your water broke and so did Four's calm demeanor, but can he really be blamed? You went into labor early - and not just by a couple of days either. Oh no, we're talking a couple of weeks early.

Regardless of his newfound fear, Four does his utmost best to still present himself as calm and collected in front of you, not wanting to freak you out any more than you’re already freaking out yourself. He first helped you lay down with plenty of pillows and cushions before running to get help. After that, he doesn’t leave your side, encouraging you throughout the process with a smile on his face, however don’t be fooled: the second you turn your head to the midwife’s voice or close your eyes to scream, your poor husband’s face reflects his inner thoughts as the situation fully begins to sink in. 'Scared shitless' - that's a good word to describe it; eyes wide in terror with a mouth that’s hung agape and slightly twisted in pain as your nails clawed into his hand.

As said, he never leaves your side - not even for a millisecond. You don’t have to worry about him being the type of guy to get grossed out by natural fluids or complain about your expressions of pain; none of that is remotely a concern of his. He’s just grateful to see you okay and even more so to hear his baby crying as they should.

A girl; small like her daddy, but healthy all things considered. Four couldn't wait to hold her, knowing damn well he was going to cry the second her soft skin touched his, but he isn’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Who wouldn’t cry holding something so precious?

Then you scream again. He thinks something must be wrong until the midwife announces that it isn’t over - that there are more squeezed in there waiting.

At the end of the day, you're just relieved to finally breathe easy without going through agonizing pain while Four, on the other hand, is left in shock staring at not one, not two, but three little babies, all healthy girls who wiggle and whimper in their parents' arms, but oh well. The nursery may have to be expanded, although there's plenty of love to go around. At least he can thank Hylia that it wasn’t quads (he's had enough of those).

Legend and you have been in a relationship for several years, although you had mutually agreed earlier on that neither of you were big fans of the whole 'marriage' thing. What difference would a ceremony and piece of paper make, anyway? You already act as any officially married couple would. You live together, go on dates, occasionally argue, and even share a bed which is exactly what resulted in a recent, unplanned detour in your lives: a baby.

When you first told Legend the news, he panicked, asking himself all those stupid questions like ‘what now’ and ‘how could this have happened’ even though he knew damn well how. Then he left. Giving some half-assed excuse about needing fresh air, he turned his back to you despite your pleas and didn’t return for hours.

Now, rest assured, he did immediately regret having that reaction and apologized for it as soon as he came home. He didn’t mean to scare you with the thought of abandonment, but as he would quietly confess during his apology, the thought of being a parent had just been too overwhelming in the moment. Neither of you had ever talked about having kids, and while he could at least have some peace of mind knowing you’ll obviously be a great mom, he fears that the same won’t be applied to him.

You have always been the light in a dim room, as Legend would put it. You’re fun, sweet, and amazing with kids. Any child of yours, planned or not, will love you with all of their heart exactly as he does. Meanwhile he’s stubborn, cranky, and the last kid to cross his path literally started sobbing. Maybe it had to do with him being covered in monster blood after just having crawled out of a dungeon but he’s pretty sure he traumatized a kid nonetheless…The thought of being just as bad around any kid you share together scares the crap out of him.

Deep, deep down, Legend’s actually somewhat excited to be a father. Although he’s too stubborn to admit it to anyone other than you, he’ll sometimes daydream about how nice it would be to tell a little replica of you both about all his adventures or to teach them how to use some of the items he’s collected over the years like his trusty boomerang. Seeing the excitement in their eyes would definitely be worth listening to you scold him afterwards. If that’s all there was to being a father, Legend wouldn’t have a single concern, yet it’s his insecurities that always have a habit of souring things. Would his kid actually find his stories cool or would they just be tempted to throw the boomerang right at his head?

You’ve done your best to reassure him, often falling back on the argument that the baby will be a part of him. Like father, like son, right? Legend was almost ready to believe you, too, especially upon laying eyes on his child for the first time. As you passed the tiny bundle over to him, he thought that maybe being a dad wasn’t going to be that scary after all, and it might not be so bad to even have more someday either…However, his worries were quick to return when the baby started screaming two seconds after being set into his arms…

Baby screams if he holds him. Baby whimpers if he looks at him for too long. Sometimes, Legend swears the thing starts crying simply by hearing his voice in another room. It doesn’t happen with anyone else, though. The baby just adores you as predicted, but what Legend can’t stand is the fact that the baby seems to like Ravio, of all annoyances, over his own dad.

He’s forced to watch as the little brat happily lets Ravio cradle him, the sight filling him with bitter jealousy and sorrow. You’re convinced that he’s just overthinking everything - that he should give himself time to adjust to his new position as a father instead of holding himself to unrealistic standards, but how long is he exactly supposed to wait until it clicks? It’s been a whole month already and he still feels as confused as day one! Will he ever get the hang of this whole dad-thing or is he a lost cause…?

If there’s any comfort Legend can have, it’s that even Ravio doesn’t know what to do with the baby once he starts crying, so at least he’s not alone in that aspect. The only problem is you’re busy making lunch and stubbornly refuse to pause your efforts. Instead, you shove a bottle over to Legend, insisting that he be the one to feed his son since it should be a ‘good bonding exercise’ for them. You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer and judging on your glare when he tries to protest, you probably wouldn’t be happy if he tries passing the task onto Ravio either.

Thus, Legend is left to awkwardly sit down and take the baby into his arms. He already knows it’s obvious he has no idea what he’s doing, Ravio doesn’t have to point it out, but luckily after some swift around, he manages to hold his son more securely against his chest before shoving the bottle in his face. The baby continues to fuss while turning his head away from the bottle, and Legend’s almost tempted to call for you in defeat until at last, the room falls silent.

Looking down, he watches in quiet awe as his son accepts his meal eagerly. His little hands quickly rise up, gripping onto Legend’s which holds the bottle in place. They’re so tiny; barely able to wrap around a single finger - Oh, and his eyes as well! They’re wide as he stares up at his dad with unbroken eye contact. It’s like a wordless conversation - one more valuable than any he’s heard before.

You return, offering to take your son now that your work is done, but Legend is quick to shake his head. Why don’t you take a well-deserved break while he handles this little troublemaker? It would be a shame to bother him when he looks so comfortable in daddy’s arms.

You've been dating Hyrule for longer than either of you can really remember, however you aren’t in any big rush to get married, figuring that it would make no real difference in your commitment to each other. You love Hyrule and he loves you. What more is there to say? For a while there, you were both perfectly satisfied with simply taking things slow and letting fate decide your course, although more recently you’ve had to switch up that method to something more stable for the baby. Yes, a baby.

You wouldn’t necessarily call it a surprise, but you also can’t truthfully say it was planned either. You had agreed that kids might be nice if the goddesses ever blessed you with any in the future, however you weren’t exactly trying for them…You just weren’t being very careful…

Hyrule must admit he was rather nervous at the start. The only prior experience he really had around kids was with Wind, but there’s a pretty big difference between a young teen and newborn. Pair that with his not so ‘kid-friendly’ world and there’s plenty to worry over. Anything could happen, but Hyrule’s determined to be the best dad and partner he can.

First thing was first, of course: you needed a place to stay. Traveling is fun and you both enjoy being on the move, but that’s no life for a baby. Hyrule and you had actually already considered the idea of settling down someplace before, so you didn’t think of it as a massive loss to take off your adventure boots for a while. If anything, it was a welcomed change once you remembered how lovely it is to be able to kick your feet up for a rest or be surrounded by warmth during a terrible rainstorm.

Again, Hyrule takes his job as your partner very seriously which wasn’t ever a surprise to you. He found a small house for you both to rent in one of the safer villages around; a perfect place for raising a child. While he might not have a talent for decorating or making a place feel ‘homey’, he does thrive when it comes to making sure you’re comfortable, his spare rupees definitely going to fluffy wool blankets and a rickety rocking chair that he saw at a market.

Early on in the pregnancy, you noticed that your boyfriend also began showing a new found determination for cooking which did scare you a bit at first - Okay, so maybe a lot. Hyrule began taking cooking lessons from some kind elderly ladies in town who must have an endless pool of patience because while you can’t say every dish is a masterpiece (or even editable for that matter), you are happy to say Hyrule can now make things like toast and tomato soup successfully. It’s progress.

There aren’t a ton of doctors in your time and none in your village, so you have to take a lot of notes from local women regarding the process. Hearing all their stories and the possible ‘what if’s for what could go wrong made you anxious, especially once you finally go into labor, but it doesn’t faze Hyrule - not on the outside, anyway. He does an excellent job of swallowing his own fears for your peace of mind, talking you through each painful contraction and doing his best to distract you from it all until it comes time to start pushing.

Some people may get squeamish at the thought of childbirth, however Hyrule isn’t one of them. He’s fought through some terrifying dungeons and has bore witness to more than a few gory injuries over the years, so bodily fluids don’t bother him one bit. He’s kneeled down right in front of you without a second’s hesitation, multitasking between mentally reviewing what he’s been told to do and reassuring you even though he’s sure you don’t hear a word of it over your own screams.

One minute Hyrule’s encouraging you to keep pushing, the next he’s holding a small, crying baby in his arms. His movements after that feel almost automatic as he carefully cleans her off and just admires the fact that this baby - this tiny, precious gift of life is his. She’s yours and his and she’s beautiful despite having come into existence within such a broken world filled with more hardships than he could count…

Your tired voice brings him back to reality - asking if the baby you hear crying is okay. You clearly feel the same thing Hyrule does upon seeing your daughter for the first time, the two of you sitting side-by-side as you soak in this wonderful emotion. Hope...That’s what she represents. Hope for a brighter future...

#x reader #reader insert #linked universe x reader #link x reader #linked universe #lu time x reader #lu chain #lu legend x reader #lu four x reader #lu hyrule x reader #legend of zelda #legend of zelda x reader

300 notes · View notes

grandlinedreams · 6 months

Note

Ok, so reincarnation/soulmates? Reader ate some fruit that basically has them living forever, and the only thing keeping them going is knowing that Law will eventually be reincarnated every decade or so after he passes. Each time he meets our dear reader again he can FEEL a pulling.

Reader also has a collection of pictures/memorabilia to remind her of each of Law’s lives.

YES I am such a sucker for the "souls intertwined so completely that they find each other over and over" also listened to 'The Moon Will Sing' by the Crane Wives bc it slaps and its always applied to that kind of relationship so OUGH

[Heads up!: mention of reincarnation/multiple lives, angst if you squint, but mostly some fluff]

You've known him for a very long time.

You don't tell him that, you never do ㅡ you can't. All you do is let yourself orbit towards him the way he does to you, let yourself take comfort in the time you have with him, however fleeting.

It isn't like you have a choice. And even in the darker times where you have to be without him, endure that lonely, phantom limb of an ache ㅡ you take solace in combing through the things you've kept of this go around.

A pendant, a dried flower pressed between the pages of a book, pages yellowed by the years ㅡ little scraps that keep you grounded, keep you sane.

Time has forgotten you, cursed you to stand against the current of it ㅡ you see people come and go, make new names for yourself, sink into as best you can.

But you never forget him.

ㅡ

This time, his name is Trafalgar Law.

He doesn't remember you, he never does ㅡ as is the deal ㅡ and he's already been through so much by the time you meet him.

His eyes are bright and sharp even for the perpetual shadows beneath them, body inked with tattoos that make you wonder if he knows he's had them before, different symbols but same spots ㅡ little pieces that echo through the vast emptiness of time.

Having lost so much already, you can tell he fights that familiar pull, treats it with wariness and caution. You don't push him, let him take things at his own pace.

When you've lived as long as you have, you have patience in spades.

ㅡ

"You're sure we've never met before?"

It's bothering him, the odd tickle of deja vu that he feels when he looks at you. It lingers like an image on the edge of his periphery, fleeting and gone when he tries to focus on it.

"I doubt it," you say, "I was born on a different sea." It isn't a lie ㅡ he just doesn't need to know how long ago that was. "I've never met you in my life before now."

Another not quite lie ㅡ this version of him is entirely new to you. New and yet so much the same ㅡ as he always has been, over and over.

You regard him with a little bit of sadness, Law realizes. Bittersweet and tucked at the edges, like you know something he doesn't ㅡ and only when you think he doesn't know you're staring at him. Because when he looks at you properly, all you do is smile.

And despite it all, Law lets you in. Lets you smooth the ragged edges, lets you wiggle your way in where he swore he'd never let anyone be ever again.

Law thinks he's destined to lose people, and maybe that's true ㅡ but so are you. You know that your time with him is fleeting as it ever is, between one blink and the next.

And then you'll be alone for a while, tread the waters of time as you have before, let the current take you where it needs to. Then you'll find each other again, eternally bound to each other by forces outside the control of either of you.

You've loved him a hundred times, and you know you'll love him a hundred more and beyond that ㅡ but this version of him is your favorite, you think.

And for whatever time you're allowed this go around, you'll give him every bit of love that you can, all the flaws and hurt and heartbreak ㅡ all of it.

You'll love every bit of him as you always have, and you always will.

#ㅡmine.#one piece x reader #one piece scenario #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #ㅡanswered.#anonymous #–ml: law.

218 notes · View notes

rpstartersinc · 5 months

Text

* 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 ( 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. )

feel free to change pronouns / wording!

" it's amazing how physically exhausting it can be to do nothing. "

" if you are unable to endure boredom, this work is not for you. "

" i am what i am. "

" i'm not exceptional, i'm just a part. "

" consider yourself lucky if our paths never cross. "

" luck isn't real, nor is karma, or sadly - justice. "

" one is born, lives their life and eventually, one dies. "

" most people refuse to believe that the great beyond is no more than a cold, infinite void. "

" avoid being seen, which is impossible in the twenty-first century, so at least avoid being memorable. "

" keep calm, keep moving. "

" it's a dog-eat-dog world. "

" every man for himself. "

" kill or be killed. "

" survival of the fittest, isn't it all just human nature? "

" it's the idle hours that most often lead a man to ruin. "

" i'm aided and abetted by law enforcement fatigue. "

" vigilance is essential, even the most disciplined mind can become weary, impatient, hurried, sloppy. "

" i find music a useful distraction. "

" i'm not here to take sides. "

" it's not my place to formulate any opinion. "

" no one who can afford me needs to waste time winning me to some cause. "

" i serve no god or country. "

" if i'm effective, it's because of one simple fact - i don't give a fuck. "

" each and every step of the way, ask yourself - what's in it for me? "

" you've done what you can do. "

" calm, breathe. "

" obviously it's a fucking problem to say the least. "

" there were two of them. "

" i've learned not to pry. "

" i was so afraid, afraid i might say something. "

" you'd have been proud, i was strong. "

" i don't know who they are, don't wanna know who you are either. "

" care to explain yourself? "

" who do you think you're trying to intimidate? "

" i need that information, and you are running outta time. "

" need any help getting rid of that body? "

" i'm not a bad person. "

" hope they're not planning a sleepover. "

" how's 'i don't give a fuck' going? "

" fight only the battle you're paid to fight. "

" you picked the wrong house, motherfucker. "

" it's common knowledge when a female is found slain, the prime suspect is always the husband or boyfriend. "

" well, maybe not common knowledge. "

" i've been so good for so long. "

" tell me he went horribly. "

" you would be very impolite to refuse to join in my last supper. "

" afraid it's tainted? "

" what happened to her, i had no part in. "

" i objected to his methods and i told him so. "

" it's nothing personal. "

" we've all had to work through the occasional civilian who's stood between eyes and the prize. "

" i was surprised at what i was capable of. "

" how easy it was. "

" i assured myself there were some things i would never do. "

" less you know, the better. "

" one man's cruelty is another man's pragmatism. "

" you're here because you couldn't help yourself. "

" you expected to sit across from me and feel nothing but reassured. "

" how is it possible? having prepared myself for this moment for so long, i have failed to believe that it would ever arrive. "

" i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, who, come to think of it, at this moment, is you. "

" you'll remember our conversation. "

" help a girl out, won't you? "

" trust no one. "

" this is what it takes, if you want to succeed. "

" good enough for james bond. "

" i told you this, and you don't listen to me. "

" once i see his eyes, i'll have a pretty good idea of how this is gonna go. "

" i'm not going to be disappointed in you. "

" i came to show you how easily one might get to you. "

" do you and i have a problem? "

" nobody's perfect. "

" the need to feel secure, it's a slippery slope. "

" fate is a placebo. "

" maybe you're not one of the few. "

#the killer 2023 #( sentence. )#sentence meme #sentence starters #rp meme #rp starters #movies #thriller #crime

114 notes · View notes

astrolavas · 2 years

Note

Here's an ask for you to talk about any Hunter thing you want to talk about

THIS IS A PERFECT ASK THANK U LMAO i'm gonna use it up now..

been thinking abt all the instances where hunter's shown almost crying but never actually lets himself cry

just. growing up in the emperor's oven and being raised by belos and, in general, going through everything that he went through, he HAD to learn how to completely hide and mask his negative emotions. and it's not sth u can just.. UNLEARN at once.

showing vulnerability in the emperor's coven...... was definitely not sth you could just do, and definitely not a good idea. like, especially in belos' presence, hunter had to learn how to school his emotions and very carefully choose how he presented himself, for his own safety.

and even the coven members themselves; i can't imagine most scouts would react positively if any saw him cry. or even if USUALLY someone crying wouldn't be such a big deal, hunter definitely wouldn't have let himself do that. growing up powerless, he already had to struggle with being seen as less just for not having magic and he had to work twice as hard to be even a little respected. and, as we see in asias, he still isn't treated seriously by most covenheads; part of it COULD be his age but his lack of magic definitely played a big role in how he's perceived as well. in his situation he just.. couldn't afford to let himself appear as vulnerable, at all; even if others had that luxury. he'd rather mask that with anger than show sadness.

just, he was always kept to an impossibly high standard by belos and by his own need to be as helpful as he could, making himself appear as perfectly capable, a-okay, confident and just doing GREAT. which.... we all know he usually isn't doing as well as he likes to pretend he is.

but even if he didn't try to appear as such anymore and wanted to fully open up, after years of having to endure lots and lots of stuff, he just... most likely got used to a lot of it as well. after YEARS of the same bad things happening to you, you just become numb to some of it. dealing with belos, being the golden guard, working at the emperor's coven, having no support or friends, and every other thing he had to go through everyday throughout his entire life; after dealing with so much stuff for so long, you have to cope with it somehow.

numbness/being more resistant to certain things happening and just generally.. having a hard time acknowledging that you're not doing okay, not crying easily, not wanting ppl to pity you, the tendency to avoid confronting your feelings....... all of that can be seen as hunter's trauma response as well as a self-defense mechanism. and now that he's NOT in the emperor's coven anymore, even though he technically SHOULD be able to open up as he realizes he's safe around his friends, it's not gonna come easily to him.

because deep down he feels a LOT, many things constantly, but he's learnt how to deal with that in his own ways and he's been living in this state of having to act like nothing's wrong for Years; so those small moments in which he willingly opens up.. are a lot for him for sure

i can say with full certainty that he DID cry after hollow mind, once he got to hexside and let himself feel everything he felt and process everything he found out. he COULD because he ran away, hid, and was safely stored away from everyone's prying eyes. he cried it all out and THEN he could buuuury all those negative emotions deep down and pretend everything's fine once again, and appear totally "fine" (not fooling anyone though) when he stumbled across gus.

nevertheless, there were SO many moments in which his eyes teared up and he definitely wanted to cry, but he didn't. he's locked all those sad feelings away and it just makes me wonder whether the dam is eventually going to break, and once it all accumulates, once something becomes his last straw and EVERYTHING he's kept hidden for so long finally spills out of him, and the tears come again but this time don't get stopped in time. this would be a BIG moment for him; a sad one but also.. quite cathartic, in a way.

just............ thinking, y'know

#finished the the thread on twitter and ran to use this ask 💀#anyway............... haha silly little guy right.. ha #nicole answers #hunter toh #Anonymous #my toh talk

584 notes · View notes

yanderes-galore · 3 months

Note

If requests are still open,

Yandere Zarya (Overwatch)? Concept

I'll try, sure!

Yandere! Aleksandra Zaryanova Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Providing yandere, Slight manipulation, Violence, Blood, Implied murder mention, Dubious companionship.

I've stated before that Zarya is a protective and providing yandere.

She means no harm to her darling and just likes to keep them safe.

She and Reinhardt have very similar yandere behaviors, they want to be your guardian and hero.

Zarya has wanted to protect those she cares about so much that she had joined the Russian Military.

She's a heavy lifter and is incredibly strong and enduring.

Honestly... you'd want someone like her on your side rather than against you.

She may seem scary but she wouldn't want to harm her darling in the slightest.

She even tries not to use unnecessary violence, even when she feels a bit of jealousy bubble in her.

Zarya is a yandere who will be your guardian, a protector, regardless on her intentions towards you.

You could just be a friend, maybe she's a bodyguard for you.

That or maybe there's something deeper.

Either way... no one is hurting you with her hovering around you.

If they do?

Her fists end up covered in their blood and they're begging for mercy.

Which she may grant them... if they promise not to touch you again.

Her strength is a big part of her yandere.

It's what makes her able to protect you but it also makes her nervous to be physically affectionate.

Which is why Zarya prefers to just be in your presence and is rather gentle with you.

If she's too rough she could easily break something.

Something she'd immediately regret if that ever happened.

She never wants to do physical punishment and treats you as if you could break in her arms.

Which is entirely possible with her.

Zarya seems like she doesn't mind the thought of carrying you or using her strength to make you happy.

She just has to remind herself that she can never hurt you... she also can't harm others around you off the bat.

But a couple of mistakes manage to slip through.

Zarya is strong in body and soul so she has self-restraint.

Her snapping wouldn't occur often and would take time due to her patience.

But when she does snap it isn't pretty.

It's easy to trust her as most of her emotions are controlled.

Even if she did harm someone she doesn't tell you.

She doesn't need you to worry about that.

When it comes to you all Zarya cares about is your safety and your happiness.

Eventually she may convince you to move in with her to provide for you.

After all... living costs are high, yeah?

So why not let her deal with it?

Zarya wants to shield you from the issues life throws at you.

She wants to hold you and hide you behind her.

If anyone disagrees... you can guess what happens.

Zarya feels only she's capable of caring and protecting you...

Why should she care if it means getting some blood on her hands? She's seen worse.

#yandere overwatch #yandere zarya #yandere aleksandra zaryanova

26 notes · View notes

autumnoficarus · 5 months

Text

i can't stop listening to the 'purpose is glorious' track from this season's ost and thinking about how lovely the title and its meaning are. it's just such an amazing underlying theme in this show, and - while i do have criticisms about some of the choices made for the series finale - i really do feel the writers wholeheartedly delivered in sending that message home. for me personally, loki's ending is so gratifying and a large part of that is solely from viewing their arc's conclusion with the perspective of this theme in mind. to have spent years watching this character i hold very dear to my heart struggle to find belonging, to feel as though they matter and there is reason in their existence, finally get a chance to show - and recognize - their worth was so, so rewarding. and honestly, i think the message behind the phrasing of 'purpose is glorious' is all the more meaningful because of how loki's arc finished. yes, the outcome was bittersweet; yes, we're left knowing loki didn't get the happiness they undeniably earned after everything they'd gone through. it smarts something fierce to know their journey up until they deviated from their timeline and became a variant, as well as seen their eventual intended fate. the ache is only worsened after witnessing everything that happens within the TVA and the entirety of loki's character growth leading up to a redefining moment where they willingly choose to undergo a nightmarish amount of time in the endeavor to do the right thing. of course we want them to emerge victorious when they've struggled for so long, but that's not the point. loki's final moments are them forfeiting their right to a happy ending to preserve the stories of others because all stories matter and should inherently reserve the free will to be written; as sylvie says, loki makes their choice so their loved ones and life across the multiverse still have a chance to belong somewhere and embrace their place in the world. the take away is that even burden can be glorious. even with all the hardships of life - all the inevitable heartache, disappointment, and grief we encounter just by being alive - we have meaning in our existence. there is meaning in the trials we face, and the suffering we endure in order to overcome them. our pain gives us purpose; it gives us the ability to love, to grow from and for each other, and choose to sacrifice our happiness for the benefit of another. loki's purpose was forged in the bonds of those they met in their time at the TVA and the sense of value they gained from their companionship. their sacrifice perfectly conveys how the human capacity to love is one of cosmic greatness, which can ultimately surpass our instinctual desire to preserve one's self. we can move immovable mountains and challenge insurmountable adversity in behalf of the ones we love and their welfare. if that isn't an act deserving of glory, I don't know what is.

tldr; loki's purpose is the friends they made along the way = as the saying goes, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. or: our own lives have purpose because of the connections we share with others, even when we are met with great loss.

#also this just shows the depth of love loki derived from knowing mobius and how they were changed for the better because of it #how mobius' initial - and repeated - acknowledgement of their potential is what gave them the necessary tools to rewrite their destiny #when loki first watches their fate on the sacred timeline their devastation is palpable; they now know they are meant to die -#at the hands of thanos after failing to save their brother -#after losing one last time #they see their final fate and know they were never meant to win; never to reach the respect and admiration theyve been chasing all this tim #but they're given a second chance at an ending - one they can be proud of and has meaning #and they SUCCEED; they ascend and take the throne not for power or control or even glory but because of the people they care for!!!!!!#loki accepts their burden with grace for the benefit of others; they escape the harrowing demise once preordained for them -#and while they mourn what they must leave behind they are fulfilled by the triumph of saving EVERYONE this time #the parallels between their sacred timeline ending and the finale's makes me way too emotional i am not okay #i have so many thoughts about the ost guahahauffh ignore me #i am obsessed with this track specifically like i want to write even more meta abt the significance of being used during mobius' last scene #okay these tags are way too long i'm shutting up now i'll see myself out #txt: icarus foaming @ the mouth analysis #char tags:#god of stories and faking death #peepaw from outerspace #loki meta #lokius #loki s2 #loki season 2 #loki spoilers #loki series #marvel #mcu #loki #Spotify

37 notes · View notes

madwomansapologist · 8 months

Note

Ice cream prompts: morpheus/dream of the endless - neapolitan 🎶💞

neapolitan — what song can describe them as lovers?

⤷ with: dream of the endless

(don't say mr. sandman. don't say mr. sandman. don't say mr. sandman.)

All Things End — Hozier

Morpheus been through a lot. He was humilliated. He suffered. He lost so much. And he endured. Morpheus lived more than anyone could even try to understand, and he still have not seem everything. After his freedom, he found himself discovering new things. Discovering live, again and again.

If there was anyone to ever get through this life/ With their heart still intact, they didn’t do it right.

Morpheus would do vile things if someone ever had the courage to say that he needed to learn something with imprisionement. He didn't need to suffer just to learn a few lessons. That don't mean he didn't take anything from it. He discovered at lot about himself, and about his feelings. He understood how it was better to deal with the unknow than to never feel a damn thing.

Morpheus somehow undertood that being alive can be hurtful, but how could it not? Who could ever live and not suffer?

The last time I felt your weight on my chest you said/ We didn't get it right but love we did our best/ And we will again/ Moving on in time and taking more from/ Everything that ends.

Everything, even him, will end eventually. Everything will root and die. So he need to cheerish it while he still there. While he still can. And that includes you. Don't matter if you are mortal or not, he know that it can end. That he can't waste time. Because if something happens, if Morpheus ever loses you, than he will regret every second he waste. And Morpheus isn't the type to forget so easily.

All that we intend is scrawled in sand/ or slips right through our hands.

Sand. Did you read it? Sand. Haha. So funny. Anyway...

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

48 notes · View notes

iihavenomouth · 1 year

Text

@bunnymajo did a super cute character questionnaire for the upcoming OC tournament, and I thought it looked like a lot of fun, so here's my own, for Haunt!

Feel free to check out his Toyhou.se also! Linked here. It's a bit barebones ATM while I work on a lot of different things, but there'll be more eventually, and he's got some refs on there.

Name: Haunt

Species: Bigfin Squid

Type: Power

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Home: The Sunken City

✨How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Haunt, like most of my ocs, bounced around between a few different names before I settled on one. I wanted something that would reflect his powers and ghostly appearance, though, and settled on Haunt!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

He's 23!

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Every villain he's ever met. He's deeply infatuated with power and confidence and the people who wield it.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

He's eaten nothing but raw fish for his entire life.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Haunt is the sole resident of a magically-protected sunken city. He's the heir of an extinct royal bloodline that ruled a kingdom that no longer exists. He's an aspiring henchman, though. He wants to do villainy and uphold the family legacy, but doesn't have the backbone to take charge.

Literally. No bones.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

He does magic and sinks ships for fun.

🎯 -What do they do best?

He's an excellent mage, but an even better powerhouse. He has incredible strength, and underwater he's fast and deadly ... though he doesn't really utilize his capabilities well.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

He loves people-watching. It's his favourite thing in the world. He'll find a person to fixate on and watch every video, memorize every photo, learn every mannerism. He idolizes people like Doctor Eggman, and practices his own grand villain monologues in the mirror sometimes. Aside from that, he enjoys reading - hard to do underwater, though.

He hates cleaning, and feels awkward and nervous with any sort of social interaction. Talking to people is difficult, and impressing them even more so. He wilts under attention.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

The first time he conjured a little ball of light underwater. It was his first spell, and kickstarted his passion for magic.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Every day he endures the terrors. It isn't so much one solid memory so much as the realization that he was alone, always had been alone, and unless he made a name for himself, he always would be alone.

Though his first trip to the surface is a close second. The sun is a deadly laser.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Yes! He's gone through very minor palette tweaks but that's it.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I wanted to make a Mobian who was a funky animal you don't see a lot! Mammals are obviously a bit cuter and more appealing, but I think the aquatics are vastly underrated. And you ever seen that oil rig camera footage of a bigfin squid? They're terrifying.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Haunt is the sometimes-useless antagonist in a horror/comedy. He's a nightmare of the deep ... and he cries like a baby if he has to endure direct sunlight.

💚 -What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Haunt's a cis man (he/him) and he's gay!

🙌 - How many siblings does your OC have?

None! Only child.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

He never met his father, and his mother is a ghost who haunts a building in the city, so that's ... awkward. She raves about his destiny and bringing death to the surface-dwellers and he's just like "what in the sea's name art thou talking about, spectre. nay. i seek the tome behind ye, be all. silence thy beak."

classic mother son bonding

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

He's just kind of ... pathetic. Like, he's wildly capable of so much and too pathetic to be a real threat unless utilized by someone bolder. It gives him a lot of interesting dynamic potential with whatever villain I team him up with.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Haunt's a roleplay character sooo semi-often. But not too often! I need to draw him more, he's a funny little guy.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

No I don't like killing OCs in general and Haunt's my little guy!

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

The sun. Dry air. Fire. He thinks skeletons are gross and scary. Afraid of ghosts, VERY haunted.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Just about every 'good guy' he meets, but entirely one-sidedly. He wants to be someone's nemesis sooo badly but no one takes him seriously.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Not long at all! He's only had a finalized design for, like, two months.

OTHER:

He speaks in some bizarre approximation of Olde English. He rarely walks on his feet, preferring to walk on his tentacles. Same with picking things up. His hands are near-exclusively used for spellwork. He doesn't have a set amount of tentacles, either. He only blinks when it's funny. When casting spells, he writes runes in ink. Squid ink. It's his own tears. He's just in general a wet, boneless freak. He's TINY, under three feet tall, but his tentacles can extend to nearly any length and he tends to match the height of or tower over anyone he meets. If your character's a villain, assume he would do anything to impress them.

I really want to try drawing a picture or two for every matchup Haunt makes it to, but if that doesn't happen and you still have thoughts as to how that'd work out, lemme know ... I think abt him a normal amount and everyone's OCs I've seen are SO cute so far

#art #oc: haunt the bigfin squid #sonic

23 notes · View notes

napofbluepring · 2 months

Text

txt has always had a theme of "growing up" and the struggles that people face in the process but i think ever since the concept trailer dropped this has become more and more prevalent.

i think part of the reason why txt is so alluring to me is bc i'm the same age as them and they're putting out content that i can actively relate to and turn towards when i'm going through different struggles in life. as they demonstrate the process of growing up through their discography i'm growing up and entering adulthood with them. this isn't to say that those who are older or younger than the group won't be able to connect to their music; in fact i feel like one of the reasons why txt can be so appealing to such a wide audience is because everybody goes through the process of growing up, whether or not you relate to all the experiences, there is going to be something in their discography that's going to feel like it was meant for you.

and if it's not enough for their concept to be so blatantly revolving around the transition from childhood to adult life, their discography also features a wide variety of genres. i might be reaching but it kind of feels like this range is a musical depiction of somebody growing older and going through different phases in their life, trying to find who they are.

it's really cool to me that txt have explored so many diff genres of music while still being able to maintain their "flavour" and i've always been drawn to that, i love kpop groups that are able to explore diff genres and concepts while still still maintaining their "flavour" rather than feeling like a whole different entity every new concept. i feel like txt have been able to do that bc of their the overarching theme of growing up, something that likely won't go away as we're always growing and learning.

i was rewatching the skipping stones live clip and the song is so important to me because it reminds me that no matter what happens or what i go through, the ripples of hurt will calm down and i'll eventually be ready to face the next obstacle no matter what it is because i know i'll be get through it somehow.

in a way, i think that's why the concept trailer hit so hard. while i can see how the idea that "tomorrow" is always waiting no matter how long of a day it's been or the hardships we've had to endure, it feels like the txt is always saying that they're also waiting for us and hoping to provide comfort through their presence, their music, and their content.

while i know that authenticity and derived and there's no "true" form of authenticity when there's a camera especially in an industry as contrived as the idol industry, i still feel like txt is putting a piece of themselves into the works that they put out. even if there are curated aspects, there is still some sense of "authenticity" within their personalities and the work that they put out. obviously there are parts of their personalities and such that are played into more for the sake of entertainment but for me it feels like none of what txt does is truly empty, they really do seem genuine about their care of each other, the quality of what they put out and their appreciation for moa.

#tomorrow x together #txt #skipping stones #writing #kpop

5 notes · View notes

butleroftoast · 5 months

Text

When it comes to relationships, Robin is a lesbian, Cherry is attracted primarily to women, and the Marquis is a walking disaster area.

They are asexual, but that doesn't seem to interfere with their relationships much. What does is their constant bad luck and inventing of excuses. Partners who seem fine but gradually reveal an ungodly number of red flags, each so large they could be used as sails. Partners who don't gel with the Skullduggan philosophy of "violence is always the answer". Declaring a partner simply isn't a fit for vague, unspecified reasons or, alternatively, implausibly specific reasons. On one occasion, which the Marquis still brings up at the dinner table when family are pushing them for heirs, because the person involved mistook Robin for the Marquis and eventually decided they preferred her anyway. They always seem to have recently broken up with someone; how upset they are about it varies.

The family is large enough, and unconcerned enough about direct lines of inheritance, that they don't pressure the Marquis like this often. Even so, the Marquis feels a certain duty to ensure the line is continued. One might suggest, perhaps, that their constant bad luck in this endeavour reveals an unconscious resistance, an unwitting act of self-sabotage. One might suggest it, but the Marquis wouldn't listen.

It would help if they didn't rely on the twins to play matchmaker. Robin and Cherry see it as an opportunity for an evening of live entertainment rather than a responsibility. Sadly the Marquis's life of adventuring and soldiering doesn't leave much time for socialising of their own, at least not with the sort of person who would make a dependable spouse, and thus they are doomed to trust the twins' judgement.

As time goes on, they do develop a curious platonic bond with Morris. Neither would call it a relationship, and would hesitate even to go so far as "friendship", but when all else is done, when the adventure is over, when their other companions have returned home, they tend to gravitate back towards each other, and enjoy their long evenings sat together overlooking the Skullduggan vineyards, sometimes talking through what they've endured, sometimes in silence.

(This is something else driving BG3-Morris. He wants to get back to the rats, yes... but he misses Skullduggan, too. He didn't expect that. Being dragged away from his usual life shows him how much he values having a confidante, whatever he claimed to the contrary and however little they saw each other prior to Morris's disappearance. When he finally returns, with the experience of BG3 behind him, he's more prepared to trust and open up to the people he travels with regularly.)

#house skullduggan #druid pol morris

3 notes · View notes

aikoiya · 1 year

Text

Arcane AU - The Princess of Zaun

I kinda want an Arcane-style Prince of Egypt story.

Just a Zaunite mother somehow manages to get her daughter to Piltover where she's taken in by a wealthy family. A Councilor, maybe? I'm thinking that the mother's sister might've been the Councilor's wife. Though, either said Councilor wouldn't have known his wife's heritage or he believed that she was an exception to the rule. And, I think I'll make the wife have died a few years before the start of the story. Maybe the daughter hit her head & doesn't remember her life prior to Piltover?

I'm thinking of naming her Sabina.

Anyway, she grows up unknowing of the hardships endured by the Fissurefolk.

Maybe she studied pharmacognosy & phytoremediation at the Academy? So, both botany & medicine.

Anyway, then when HexTech kicks off she eventually meets Viktor & thinks that he's familiar.

Turns out that he'd been her friend as a child.

Something happens, she learns of all the shit the elite of Piltover, the Council, & the Enforcers has put her people through, asks her father, the Councilman, who is apathetic of the death toll of Fissurefolk, begins to remember her early life, specifically her mother's name & her friendship with Viktor, & runs away from both Piltover & Zaun. Maybe to Shurima.

Years pass & Sabina gets a message from Janna herself to free Zaun from Piltover & help it prosper.

She returns & slowly makes a name for herself doing good for the people of the Undercity before going up top to meet the Council & bargain with them for Zaun's freedom.

Make her a force for good in Zaun with the drive needed to get shit done.

I also want a full Plagues montage.

One of the plagues will definitely be all the water in the River Pilt lowering & receding until the Pilt is dry.

Another causes all HexTech in Piltover to be entirely depleted of magic. So, the Hex Gates are done.

Another causes all the water remaining in Piltover to become as toxic as what is in Zaun.

Another will be the air becoming as toxic as Zaun's as the sky is blotted out by smog & acid rain falls every day from then on.

I also have a scene in my head for a different scene for the Plague of the First Born. In it, Sabina tells her supporters living in Piltover to keep a Janna rose or a blue bird feather (not a bluebird feather, a blue bird feather; a bird feather that happens to be blue; but it has to be naturally blue, not a feather that has been dyed blue) on their person. Or for those who were forgetful, to hang one or the other from their door. Doing so will protect them from the disaster to come. A feather or rose held would protect the individual, but a rose or feather upon a door will protect an entire household.

On the day that it happens, Sabina stands on the Zaun end of the bridge & lifts her staff into the air. The wind begins to blow... Then, there's a sound like a train approaching & on the horizon rises what looks to be a blue wall. Hearts sink as it rises steadily only for all to realize that it isn't getting taller, but closer. It's a tidal wave. And it's approaching speedily... As it closes in, the wind gets stronger. Yet when it is finally upon the cities, a great vortex of wind covers Zaun & keeps even a single drop from falling upon the undercity. However, Piltover is submerged. Hours pass as the water slowly lowers until it's returned to a normal level.

Piltover is devastated. Despite this, only the first borns of every family that didn't have a Janna Rose or a blue bird feather upon their door or hadn't kept one or the other on their person, had died. All others had suffered & experienced a prolonged feeling of drowning, yet were kept alive.

Those who did carry a rose or a feather were blanketed by a protective wind that sustained them. Meanwhile the houses with one or the other upon their door were equally shielded.

Piltover is left broken & weeping.

Though, I definitely see Jayce as being the type to try & convince both Viktor, Mel, & his mother (who'd already have one on her at all times) to hold onto a feather (and failing that, would personally pin one to their doors the literal day of), as well as encouraging everyone in Piltover to pin one to their doors as well. Unfortunately, not many of the upper class would do so, the most who would, would be Piltover's middle & lower classes. This, in turn, would end up saving a lot of lives & creating a lot of believers.

This results in him being seen as a hero.

---

Now that I think about it, I kinda wanna make her the result of a one-night stand with Silco from before he was betrayed by Vander. Either he's entirely clueless to her existence or he'd gotten scared when her mother told him & he rejected her.

Now, I can't stop thinking about her with Silco's eyes & hair color.

But, anyway, she wasn't just told to free Zaun, she was also told to clean it up. Meaning, get rid of Shimmer, get rid of the pollution, & instate a constitutional republic rather than the industrial oligarchy that it has now wherein the Chem-Barons (who, besides Silco & even then it's a bit dubious, don't honestly care one whit about Zaun's overall health & well-being so long as it keeps them in power) are the ones in-charge. (By comparison, Piltover is an aristocratic oligarchy where only a handfull of the rich are in-charge & make all the decisions.) Which means going up against the Chem-Barons & specifically Silco. And possibly even learning that he is her father.

I have a theory that since the Pearl of the Moon is used to ward off Voidkin, that it must have an effect on them. So, it could possibly be used to make a medicine that helps to alleviate some of the negative effects of Shimmer.

I also feel like, upon taking in & becoming attached to Jinx, Silco would sometimes wonder about the child he'd sired but had rejected & can't help but feel that he'd betrayed them.

Which, in turn, would cause some mixed feelings from him at learning the child he rejected was the one to save Zaun. And even more mixed feelings at her dismantling all he'd built.

I'm also thinking that Sabina eventually ends up with Viktor.

Arcane Masterlist

#arcane #janna #zaun #prince of egypt #writing prompt #viktor x female reader #viktor #silco #silco & daughter

11 notes · View notes

thedragonagelesbian · 7 months

Note

Know, Mentor, and First :)

oc asks: relationship edition

i was so hoping someone would send know, thank you <33

(also love that there's no specification of which oc i should be answering this for. we all know.)

Know: How well does your OC know themself—their wants, their goals, their motivations? Do they engage in any sort of self-reflection? Is there anything about themself they willfully ignore?

Cyrus only knows himself in relation to others. Strip away his sense of service, duty, obligation, oath, take him off of the battlefield and peel off all the armor and clean away all the blood he gave so no one else would have to, and his grasp of self becomes tenuous at best.

What's so fascinating to me about him is that that exterior selfhood isn't like... a mask or a performance, per se, because I think those terms imply a level of deception or intention, and it's not that for Cyrus. He genuinely, earnestly believes that the whole of himself is defined by what he can give to others. But there's also something artificial about that belief insofar as he's never stopped to question it or evaluate it. He's just always accepted it on faith alone. It Is him but it's also just slightly outside of him, if that makes any sense at all??

Which also ties into his lack of self-reflection. My boy has 8 wisdom introspection is very much NOT his strong suit, and a lot of the time, when he's ignoring some part of himself (his grief, his anger, his overprotectiveness), it's not a conscious choice but something that grows out of that lack of self-awareness.

Even when it comes to physical pain, his instinct to minimize it is just that: it's reflexive, involuntary, it doesn't even register to him as enduring a suffering that he doesn't have to. Much to the profound consternation of the healers who keep falling in love with him.

Mentor: Does your OC have a mentor? Have they ever reached out to anyone for guidance or teaching, or been taken under someone's wing? How does your OC get along with their mentor?

I think of Cyrus as self-taught in most regards, and that inability (largely imagined in DA2, actual in BG3) to rely on any adult or mentor figure is a huge part of why he's Like This.

In DA2, the closest thing he had to a mentor was the elder/hahren of the Amaranthine alienage, where he grew up. Elder Ischia was a wonderful community leader, someone Cyrus grew up wanting to emulate. When he and his family had to flee the city, she gave him a bone-hilt dagger--his first weapon--as a means of feeling like he had some agency and control in the midst of so much helplessness. He carries that dagger with him for the rest of his life, and many of his most important kills are carried out with it (including Anders :) ).

Also, across any timeline, Cyrus idolizes the crap out of his father as exactly the kind of man he wants to be. The paragon of masculinity that Cyrus, as a trans man, is trying to live up to. Sometimes, wearing Malcolm's memory is a gift. Sometimes, it feels like another miserable expectation.

First: Has your OC ever been the one to leave first? Why did they go, and who did they leave behind? Do they regret it?

Cyrus is so bad at leaving and letting go, but two instances across his two games come to mind:

In DA2, he leaves Bethany behind when he goes on the Deep Roads expedition. This decision was 1000% born out of him thinking it would be too dangerous for his sister. Bethany was outraged by it, and Cyrus came to regret it terribly when he returned home to find her being taken to the Gallows. For years, he maintained the belief that he had failed and abandoned Bethany by not trying harder to break her out of the Circle-- despite being told again and again that it wouldn't work, not least because Bethany didn't want to live her life on the run anymore. He eventually gets it through his thick skull, but there's a reason Bethany decides to stay with Isabela and Fenris instead of him at the end of everything.

In BG3, I have... many. Many. Many. Unresolved and free-floating thoughts about breaking up with Astarion at the party, particularly in light of the Act 2 reveal about the circumstances under which Astarion initiates that relationship. It's a tricky period to talk about precisely because Astarion is being so withholding and performative and Cyrus very naively takes it at face value (again, 8 wisdom, coming in under astarion's otherwise utterly average 10 charisma). Cyrus thinks he's following Astarion's lead and expectations, but Astarion himself doesn't know what or how to want and is instead trying to mirror Cyrus' want back to him, but Cyrus is bad at wanting things for himself, so........................................

Idk. I think about the mirror scene a lot-- Cyrus opening with the sweeter answer, but then flipping to straightforward confirmation of Astarion's beauty when he snaps that the former isn't what he's looking for.

Cyrus ultimately approaches that conversation at the party thinking they have the same understanding of what their relationship is/was: something casual, purely physical, and devoid of sentimentality. He's not wrong, necessarily-- from Astarion's perspective, this was all a ploy anyway! A desperate survival technique, leaping immediately to a tried and true self-destructive tactic because if you can't keep the hero at arm's length, better to keep yourself in his good graces, right?

But... it's very easy to interpret Astarion's dialogue & Neil's performance during the breakup as evidence that he had started to develop the feelings that lead, in Act 2, to him wanting a genuine relationship.

Or, would have led to that, had Cyrus stayed.

#cyrus hawke #cyrus bg3 #thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 notes · View notes

longlivelevi · 1 day

Text

I can't make anything

right now because I'm out of love so how is it possible that these hands still course through paint like water? It'll never be pretty because that's for people with pretty lives. The words still come out of me like bees ready to pollinate. I want to be dead so badly. To just stop everything, but something compels me to live. Just when I feel that demiurge of emotions, I get a call, I get a text, I get a random thought reminding me that there are things to live for. And I know the burden I carry is for me alone. I have to just let it be like that and find a way to live, find a way to exist.

I have to remember what I was given and that's an opportunity - and that's more than enough. You don't need the money, the support system, the parents, the friends, and you don't even need hope in it all. You could be filled with complete despair and still make it happen. Still find a way to be bigger than this. There's a dark storm currently in my head, in my soul. But like all storms, they eventually pass. And I am not going to call for that day. I am going to enjoy every single day where I feel like shit. Every single day where I feel numb and like I want to give up. Because you know what? The quality of a person isn't created in good times. It's created during the hardest fucking times of their life.

And I might be going through that, I don't know. It's been a lifetime of hard times, but I survive. I find a way to exist because I have to, because I am compelled to. And they all can try to destroy my soul. But none of them will ever be successful. I'm fucking scared. I'm terrified. But that is not a real reason to give up. Even my dreams morph in the night. The nightmares try to break me even before I wake up. But I endure. I survive.

0 notes

fragilecapricornconfessions · 4 months

Text

I am hurting. I am hurting so much. I wish I could squeeze my heart into your ribcage so you can feel the pain for a moment. However, I understand that such a thing would be so selfish. I don't want you to hurt at all. I don't want you to be in any pain. I don't want you experiencing turmoil or destruction. It's bad enough that I have to go through these things. It's bad enough that I am alone with my thoughts most of my days, and I am struggling to find ways to cope and distract myself. I can't believe I haven't spoken to you since last year. It feels so unnatural to say that. Why can't you just reach out? Why can't I get the tiniest sign? Why must so many of my prayers be left unanswered? Do you know what I would do right now if you contacted me? I would literally jump with joy. I would stand up and start jumping. My heartrate would increase significantly, and I would put on the biggest smile I am capable of wearing. I will look up at the heavens and cross my chest. I will get down on my knees and express the sincerest form of gratitude to God in heaven. You have no clue how happy I would be and how much hope I would get if I had just the tiniest communication from you. I will accept just a few words. I would accept an emoji. I would accept a reaction to a post. View my story. Do something. Anything. Anything at all. The tiniest sign would have the most profound effect on me. However, I tell myself all the time that if it hasn't happened in eight weeks, what makes me think it will happen now? Would a catalyst be required to initiate some kind of sign or message? Is it something that could happen out of the blue? Is there any point in latching on to hope? Will I eventually make my way out of this dark abyss that I was thrown into? It's so dark in here that sometimes I'm not even sure I'm heading in the right direction. The hues in nature aren't as vibrant as they used to be. The vocals in my favorite songs aren't as melodic as I remember them to be. My favorite foods don't taste as good anymore. I never felt this way before. I suppose this is so because it took you to make me realize what true love is. I never knew what true love was. I always conflated the love I have felt in the past with true love. However, you opened up a whole new dimension of love for me that I never thought existed. I am crazy about you. You always told me how you were obsessed with me. You were infatuated by me. You were so clingy for me. You couldn't imagine going a day without me. You told me you would be devastated if we ever stopped talking. You said all these things to me. I'm not delusional. I remember it all so vividly. I can recall your words with such clarity that there is no mistaking the authenticity of my recollections. With all this being said, I can only imagine how you're feeling now that our biggest fears have manifested. Are you trying to heal? Are you latching on to hope like I am? Are you struggling to cope with everything? Are you accepting what has happened and trying to move on from it? Please tell me you still have hope. Please tell me you still wish to talk to me. Please tell me you still want to see me again one day. I love you. I love you so much. I hate that I can only see you in my dreams or in pictures. I absolutely hate it. It isn't fair to me, and I wish it weren't the case. Some people say that things sometimes have to get worse before they can get better. Why must such stupid platitudes exist in the world? Why can't things just be perpetually good? Why must we always have to prove ourselves to the world? Why must we always have to fight for love and friendship? Why must everything we do be met with some type of resistance? This is not a life worth living. I understand that the difficulty experienced will help us appreciate life more, but at some point, enough is enough. How much hurt must we endure? Why do we have to keep fighting for things that we deeply deserve? It makes no sense to me. I need you. I need you so badly, my love. Please return to me. Please don't surrender. Please don't you dare give up on us.

0 notes

thoughtswrittenaloud · 1 year

Text

Impact statement

For starters, fuck you. I knew immediately. My sister told me she said, "I'm just not ready to talk about it yet" and I knew. I knew who and what. I wanted to be wrong, trust me. I wanted to be so wrong I got laughed at. But I was right. Because I've spent so much of my life being not only a daughter to her, but a partner, emotional support, a friend. You either didn't know that or didn't care enough. It's a weird feeling. Being SO in tune with the person who grew you, taught you, fed you. I always thought everyone was like that, but as I got older I realized it was atypical in most cases. Not that I regret it because she didn't have to say anything. I don't know all of the details. I don't want to know all the details. I can assume and that's more than enough. What I do know though, from conversations and comments here and there, this wasn't a 'one time' or even 'first time' offense. She told me she went to my uncle, someone who's spend most of his life practicing martial arts, and even he couldn't find a way out for her. I don't know what it was, but that's not a fluke. That's practice. You're disgusting. You're subhuman. You're literally nothing. I hope your children don't learn who you are to the full extent. I hope they grow and get a gut feeling. I hope that they go with that feeling and never speak to you again. I hope you spend the rest of your miserable life alone. I hope you never find happiness in anything you do. I don't hope physical harm comes to you. I don't wish death upon you. That would be too good for you. That would allow for an end to any sort of pain you feel. I want you to live with the fact that people know what you've done, who you are. For you children though, I wish nothing but the absolute best. I wish for them amazing partners, lives, children if they please, fulfilling careers, nice things, happiness. They deserve that. I would never wish anything poor on a child, even yours. Especially your son. I hope he turns out to be nothing like you. We never liked you, my sisters and I. Even before we met you we didn't like you. And then we did. You were late and expected HER to make your plate for you. Plus you've got man boobs. I actually can't picture your face. I genuinely only see that blue/grey sweater with the moobs sticking out from the front. That's literally how I picture you. It's almost humorous. Almost. You don't have a face because you're not human. You don't deserve that. You had spent enough time with her. You know her past. You know how she grew up. What the fuck made you think you had the authority to summon that again? Who the fuck do you think you are? You had no right to make her feel that way. To do that to her. When you eventually do die, hopefully of old, old age nowhere in the future, I hope you burn in the deepest and hottest part of hell. I also hope you're never given any sort of opportunity to do what you did again. God forbid that happens, I hope you go to the hardest, meanest prison where the other men make your life a living hell. I'm not a violent or hateful person, but I hate you. Loathe you. Despise you. This isn't the first woman I love to go through this and statistically, it won't be the last. It's disgusting. It's disgusting that the chances someone else I care about will have to endure something like this. It's men and people like you that make me cautious. Make me not want to trust others. I consider myself lucky that I've never been in that situation. Crazy isn't it? I consider myself LUCKY to not have been sexually assaulted. That's fucked up. Anyway, I needed to get my thoughts and feelings toward you out, even if no one ever reads this. I've spoken it out in my car and in my head so many times, but putting it out into the world like this makes it feel more real. Makes it feel as though you'll somehow happen upon it, know how much I hate your existence. Now I'm going to go back to studying for one of the biggest tests of my life. You get no more of my energy. The fact I've given you this much is unnecessary because you're unworthy of my time and energy.

0 notes