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bloodgulchblog · 2 years

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A Whistle-Stop Tour of the Fractures Anthology Pt. 2

I return.

Let's keep talking about Halo stories.

Just two this time: Defender of the Storm (which I liked) and A Necessary Truth (which I want to meet in the pit.)

Defender of the Storm by John Jackson Miller

Miller worked on the comic anthology Tales from Slipspace and worked on Rise of Atriox, also a comic. I have consumed neither of these things yet.

There are three Forerunner stories in this anthology but this one's actually my favorite because I love stories about ordinary people with miserable jobs that end up in extraordinary circumstances. (I mean, this is also ostensibly sometimes a Red vs Blue blog. I know what I am.)

It also actually feels like a straight up science fiction short story with a bit of a mystery in it in a way that almost no Halo story bothers to. I really respect that.

Adequate-Observer is a Warrior-Servant Manipular (you remember, a young Forerunner who hasn't gone through their first mutation yet) who is stationed on a gas mining platform over a gas giant. Things are getting super nasty in the war with the Flood, but Adequate's world is this rig because his post has been here for 15 years solid. Other Forerunners get cycled through this post in a normal fashion, but not him. The new crop that just arrived is unusually experienced, even, and that makes Adequate feel worse by comparison. He's kind of a social outcast, they bully him, he gets left with the shittiest jobs, and he is more than a little bitter about it.

It's a boring job that he doesn't like, and sometimes he has nothing better to do than argue with his ancilla about weird shapes he sees moving around down in the gas swirls. Are those winged creatures? His ancilla tells him this is nonsense.

Then one day, the Flood starts coming down the vanes of the rig. Adequate and the others try their best (and Adequate in particular tries and fails to save the one who gave him the nickname Barely-Adequate) but they cannot stop the Flood from consuming most of the Warrior-Servants and rapidly taking over the vanes of the rig. Adequate actually sees one of the avian creatures come up close to one of the rig windows, and gets to be right about that at least. He also has a narrow escape where he has to crawl through a particle collection tube and.... it looks like it hasn't actually been used in over a decade? But that's so weird, why would there be regular unloading of the tanks if they're not being filled...?

Anyway.

It comes down to Adequate-Observer and Capital-Enforcer, the most impressive of the new Warrior-Servants, which is good because that means they have the two keys needed to activate the system to scuttle the station.

But then, Capital-Enforcer tells Adequate something... weird....

WEIRD!!!

Capital-Enforcer gets consumed by the Flood and it's up to Adequate-Observer to do the thing. As he does, he figures out what he thinks has been going on:

The winged creatures that live in the gas storms below are able to survive and fly in incredibly toxic unlikely conditions that would destroy most life. If the Flood were to absorb them and gain that quality, it would be disastrous.

Adequate, however, survives.

He wakes up some time later to find that the command module of the rig is floating in the eye of a gas storm, now that the vanes have been ejected and destroyed. It can hover here indefinitely, and given that the station had been fully supplied for a full complement of Forerunner workers and that he is alone, he has enough to live on for (conceivably) the rest of his life.

It's a weird way to go, but hey. We also get a title drop.

It was good and I liked it. 👍

Unlike our next item...

A Necessary Truth by Troy Denning

I've talked to you guys about Veta Lopis, and also this short story. I hate Veta Lopis and this short story.

I think you're probably aware of my Veta Lopis/Ferrets problem if you've been on this blog for a while, but as usual when I really hate something let me disclaimer: I do not judge or make negative assumptions about people who like things I do not like. I think it would be wildly irresponsible to do so. I'm also aware that a lot of people in this fandom who like Lopis have kind of reconstructed her into something else for themselves. Nobody here is my enemy over this.

Alright, disclaimer over, let's go.

Halo has a lot of things in it that are dumb in places, and I let a lot of things slide because I'm having fun. However, the way the two Ferrets stories I've read so far piss me off is so specific. I have no defense against it. It's different from how I hate the Kilo Five books (which I am not at all embarrassed about) because it feels in some way petty. But here we are.

After Last Light (which I should also summarize... eventually....) the surviving three Spartan-IIIs from Gamma company's Saber Team (Mark, Ash, and Olivia) are being trained for ONI spy work. The reason for this is because Gamma Company's modified berserker fight-or-flight response poses a threat to the Spartan branch's reputation and possibly their missions.

So. Natural candidates for delicate social infiltration training, right?

They're currently on a training mission where they have to look unassuming in an officer's club, which means the boys are being told they have to drink a bunch of alcohol and the one girl (Olivia) is dressed up to look much older and flirting with grown men.

They're all still fourteen, by the way. Yes, Spartans all went through horrible shit while young, but that shit wasn't treated as funny. This is all laughs until Olivia gets drugged by some dude.

The perspective we're reading this story from (it's limited third but you know, very much in her head)? Veta Lopis, former detective who had to leave her home planet for siding with the UNSC in a conflict that broke out. She has been made the team's handler/den mother despite 1) having no experience doing spy work and 2) being dumb as three bricks in a bucket. (Alright maybe that's unfair. Trying so hard to be less unfair over here.)

The story is pretty standard spy stuff, trying to find the team they're spy training against, not get caught, a civilian trying to investigate the Spartan-IIIs gets involved and also dead, the team has to hide the body because that was an accident but if the Spartan-IIIs are known to have killed someone on this mission it's going to remove them from this training program, idk Serin Osman is there and knows Lopis lied about that but seems to think this proves that Lopis is good at her job now. (????)

The Ferrets get through okay and we are so proud of them and so proud of Veta Lopis because she is Like Their Mom Now, despite how Troy Denning never once successfully sold to me that she was supposed to have bonded with them after spending almost an entire book convinced that Mark is a serial killer.

If you want to hear me yell more about this story, the link at the top of this section is to a post I made while reading it.

It's dumb and bad and I hate it.

I think it's smarter for me to continue to post this in pieces, but I think part 3 will be the last part. I think I have less to say about the rest of the stories, and I'm gonna just skip talking about "Into the Fire" until I talk about Smoke and Shadow because it's literally just part of that novel.

#halo: fractures #summaries of things

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schizosupport · 19 days

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Hi, I wanna say your blog has helped me a lot! I haven't asked any questions until now but I've felt so much more understood and other people's questions have helped me too. I also want to add a cw just in case for physical health issues and decline.

But I'm 25 and have schizoaffective. I lost my health insurance in October and lost a lot of support. I know you're not a doctor and I eventually will seek professional help but in the mean time I need some advice if you're able? If not that's perfectly okay too! I'll explain what happened but I'm looking for advice on how to cope or any small things I can do at home that could help if you know?

But my health has gone down exceptionally. Roughly 6 years ago I had no serious physical health issues and I was doing good. But today me and my boyfriend climbed up a small hill to view the eclipse and he had to start helping me halfway up and by the time we got to the top I almost couldn't breathe. I had chest pains for over an half hour after and issues like this feel like it's been building up for a while. I can't lift more than 25 pounds and my whole body aches after a short bit while I'm trying to exercise to the point where I can't. Could it potentially be my meds? Or do I need to push through and keep exercising?

Hi there! Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm glad to hear that my blog has been a source of comfort!

I'm so sorry that you have lost your health insurance, and I am so sorry that you are living in a place in the world where you don't have access to healthcare regardless of your wallet. That really really sucks and I wish it wasn't like that.

As for your health, I am not a doctor and I don't know enough about your situation to say anything for sure. Lately I've been struggling physically myself, and I hope that I'm "just" the most out of shape I've ever been in my life, but it's definitely scary. I am winded from nothing and I get pains and aches if I try move my body much. For me I think that a large part of it is, that due to negative symptoms of schizophrenia, my "standby" action is to lie flat on my back in bed. And due to life circumstances, I spend a lot of my time on "standby". I don't have a real drive to go and do things and move my body, and now where it hurts to do so, I just don't.

At the same time, there's someone like one of my partners who's actually really active these days and in the best shape of his life, but he's still in chronic pain.

I can't tell you what your situation is, but I will say to be careful with pushing. If it's hurting you, you need to start with something less intense. Keep going down a level of intensity until you find something that you can do without excessive pain during or after. I for example started gently dancing to music for one song a day (until I got hit by a flu but you know). This will also help you have a better idea what might be going on and what to tell a doctor when you have the chance to see one.

There are some exercises you can find online that are specifically geared to people who struggle with different types of exercise for different reasons. For example there's exercises for lying down and exercises for sitting. I don't know what meds you are taking nor am I a doctor, so I don't dare to comment on that, but if you are concerned, my best advice is to type in the name of the medication, and the symptoms you are experiencing, into a search engine, and see if there's anything official about it. If you add "reddit" to the search you will often get personal experiences. Anything you find this way should be taken with an obvious grain of salt, but it can give some hints. I wish you all the best!!

#answers

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tarnishedxknight · 7 months

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Mantis averted her gaze when Basch said he would pray she found what she wanted in life. The more she thought about it, the more unnerved she was; she truly did not know what she wanted. She had always done what Ego wanted, and while she was infinitely more free with the Guardians, she was also doing what the Guardians wanted. Did she even have a personality after the horrors she saw inside the mind of the Mad Titan, or was she just a combination of her own fears and regrets, a shell of who she was? Mantis thought she would have found herself by now.

“Thank you, that is so thoughtful of you. I pray, too. And oftentimes I pray too much. Sometimes I do not even know what I am praying for. Usually I pray all the beings in the galaxy start being kinder to each other and themselves. I pray the stars show every child the mercy they deserve, I pray they are safe. I pray the galaxy’s cruelty never overshadows its beauty. And I… pray a lot for my friends. I want them to be okay.” Her antennae became droopy, betraying a deep emotional exhaustion.

She was a bit saddened when Basch seemed to disagree after she said he was wise. Her gaze fell, and she nodded as Basch said they made more of a difference than those who chose to do nothing. For the longest time, Mantis did nothing herself, so she felt she shouldn’t judge those who did nothing. “We never know why others choose to do nothing. Sometimes they think they have no choice, they are afraid, they realize they may not be safe if they choose to act… My mistakes are a reminder that I should not judge others.” Her head tilted when he said life shouldn’t be a competition as to who could do the most good. “See? You are wise!” Mantis smiled a little. “Where did you learn so much from?” Her tone was curious, yet gentle, with no pressure. Basch had said many people he loved were gone, so she left the invitation open for him to speak about them if so he wished, in case he needed to get something off his chest.

(No worries! As I said, I thought I actually forgot to send it, that’s why I asked. The GotG create such an environment, AUs where other characters join them are a lot of fun.)

___________

{Yeah... my Dumblr notifications are all kinds of screwed up. Both on my phone and my computer, the site/app will notify me of the same reblog of a post 15 times over like three days. It just keeps happening, and I’m like... yeah, thanks, I already saw this. But then it will neglect to inform me of the other 10 reblogs and 5 asks I got while it was telling me repeatedly about that same one. It’s like... YOU HAD ONE JOB, heh. But yeah I’ve taken to just checking all my blogs’ activity feeds manually at least once a day because that’s how much I’ve been missing lately. So always remind me if you think I may have missed something... because I probably did. XD}

Basch nodded as Mantis spoke of praying. He himself did not know how he felt about his own prayers. Were they actually heard by the gods? If they were, did the gods care at all? If not, perhaps they served another purpose, to focus one’s energy and help calm the mind regarding things of which people have no control. Maybe, like casting magic, focusing the mind had a real, tangible effect on the world, manifesting thought into action and substance. Basch was sure there was a positive effect of praying somewhere and for someone, he just wasn’t sure where... or whom.

“Aye... I pray mostly for others, rarely for myself. I, too, wish for those closest to me to have good fortune in their lives. Better, at the very least, than my own,” he said solemnly. “If I can leave the world a little better than I have found it, then at least my legacy will be not to add to its suffering. Let us both hold to our prayers that good will prevail and outweigh evil in this world.” Finally, there was a slight smile to go with his nod of conviction. Basch did not smile often, for he did not often have a reason to. When he did, it meant something.

“All of those are typical reasons,” Basch said. “When leading soldiers into battle, I found that some were afraid, more than their nerves could bear. Some were naturally of a more selfish nature, caring more for their own safety than for their cause. Those who were willing to risk never returning home to kith and kin for the sake of the greater good, a cause greater than themselves... were always in the minority. I think that living creatures are, by nature, wired more for their own survival than for altruism. It is not their fault, that is just who they are,” he mused, not seeming to bear those unwilling to help others any ill will. “Altruism is rare for a reason, it runs counter to survival instinct and rational thought. If we were all selfless, our respective races would not survive. So, perhaps, that those willing to run towards danger to protect others or give of themselves even to the point of death are rare... is as it should be.”

As she mentioned that her own mistakes made her in no position to judge others for theirs, Basch nodded sadly. “Aye... ‘tis very true,” he said. “We are all of us fallible and flawed in some way.” But then she was calling him wise again, and asking him where he learned so much from, and Basch didn’t know how to answer. “I have not learned any more than any other man of my years, I feel,” he said truthfully. “Experience, failure, mistake, war, and loss have been my teachers. I have learned about life by living it, in all its wonder and beauty, as well as its cruelty and sorrow.”

But that was not the whole answer. He knew he needed to be honest with her, since she looked so very intrigued, that the reasons for his perspective on life were less than honorable. Ashamed, Basch spoke slowly and carefully. “I... have learned much from my abusive father, not in the way he abused me, but rather, my twin brother. His cruelty taught me what I never wanted to be, and never wanted to do to others. And I have learned from my brother, from his anger and pain as he raged at me for wronging him when we were but sixteen. Seeing how I had affected him, and enduring his revenge taken on me which resulted in the deaths or misfortune of those dear to me, taught me that all actions have consequences. War, leading men into battle, and seeing entire cities fall has taught me that nothing lasts forever, but there are many things worth fighting for.” He was quiet for a moment, before adding, “Have I answered your question well enough, Mantis?” he asked, for he was honestly not sure. He had spoken from the heart, and while the heart was honest, it did not always know when it was being wise or just... rambling.

#main muse: basch #{ knightly avenger } ᵐᶜᵘ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ

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polymorphkin · 11 months

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Sorry for scampering off (life update)

Hi everyone, I know its been a minute since I have last been on here but I have returned (hopefully for a while). Life, as all of you could have guessed, has been crazy for me for a bit. College, work, mental health, recent d//ths in the family, etc etc.

The thing that really kept me away from posting here for a bit, however, was that I got a *jazz hands* new diagnosis. Guess who just found out they were schizotypal... yeaaaaaah. On the one hand, this is definitely something I saw coming. I mean, come on, I’ve been believing myself to be nonhuman since 2nd grade, have written en mass about my experiences being a polymorph, I actively talk to spirits and other entities like I do “normal” people. It was pretty obvious.

However, fitting this new diagnosis into my identity has been a challenge. While, yes, the very human side of me I still (sadly) possess is very comforted with this label-- with this explanation-- but the alterhuman side of me is grappling with conforming this identity with and into the rest of me.

While this belief is very controversial, I do tend to be on the side of believing a lot of people with genuine spiritual gifts and insights are often times mistaken for being mentally ill. To me, unless it is something that actively harms your life, having “magical beliefs” is perfectly fine. Yes, I believe I am an alterhuman with gifts in spirit communication and occult magick, but I am also a functioning human being with a job, a school life, and *gasp* better mental health when I am “allowed” to believe these things. My mental health is seriously harmed when I am forced to not believe in things I know to be true to me.

Please note the very personal language. While yes, *some* with genuine gifts are mistaken for being on the schizo-spectrum, there are many more who are genuinely in need of professional mental help. I’ve been going to therapy on and off my entire life and I *know* I still probably need many more years of working through trauma and other issues to be completely mentally well, it is just that my alterhuman beliefs aren’t one of those things I need help with, if that makes sense.

It is for this reason, this diagnosis, that I took a step back to self reflect. I felt like I couldn’t keep posting on this blog without finding the words needed to explain why I was gone. It felt like it would be ingenuine to keep writing here pretending like I never got the diagnosis.

Outside of the alterhuman and spiritual side of me, I will definitely admit that the schizotypal diagnosis is still valid. I have struggled with psychotic paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations I cannot explain with spirituality. For example, I’ve thought for around 6-7 years now I might be plural, only to now find out that they were hallucinations/delusions created by my brain. Imaginary friends taken to a new level you could say.

I definitely want to dedicate some blog posts here about this and how I’ve been adapting to this new diagnosis, but until I find the words for that, I wanted to just say Hi again and let you all know I’m back. Missed you all!!

#ramblings

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louryanalarcon · 11 months

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Healing

When you are so accustomed to being by yourself, you grow comfortable in it. I’ll go to cafes by myself all the time – as I am doing right now. And I love to just sit and write. For a time, I did this with my physical journals. I would be perfectly content to head to my favorite café with my fountain pen and journal in tow, looking forward to crafting a beautiful entry. Now, I find myself doing the same thing, but this time, I brought my laptop. So, I’ll craft my first café entry for the blog.

In the movies, cafes are romanticized as meet-cute locations. The possibility of meeting your soulmate at a café is alluring. I will admit, sometimes I hope for my meet-cute moment. But I think we all know that is little more than Hollywood fantasy. That magical moment does not simply produce itself out of thin air. You must actively pursue it – make it happen. That has always been what I believed. If you want something, or someone, you have to go get her.

I think I have done my fair share of chasing women. Since I am in a bit of a rest period, I don’t see a better time than to do a dating recap. I have gone on thirteen dates so far this year. That might sound great and all, but here I am left feeling empty. If the number of dates does not correlate to fulfillment, then it must be the quality. Most have been decent. I think the decent dates were the ones where I felt like I was in an interview, or little chemistry was built. Those I have come to expect. I don’t think that is a good thing. The truth is that it is fucking hard. Although, sometimes, if I am lucky, I’ll stumble into a great date – one that sticks with me for a while.

Do you ever go on a date that changes you? I have never been the best communicator. So, when it came to keeping in touch with friends over the years, I never took the initiative to text and keep in contact. If we were not working together or seeing each other on a regular basis, I never took the time to nurture that friendship. I would let the friendship wane. I would just hang onto the hope that we could pick back up where we left off. I do have some friends like that. But it would be wrong of me to expect that of all my friends. After all, they are not all like me. Sometimes I fall into this false belief that everyone is just like me; they have the same tendencies, emotional reactions, and mindset. However, this is simply not true.

I had recently met a woman who was just the opposite of me. She was a great communicator, whether that was texting, calling, or in person. I admired that about her. It made me realize that I was being terribly selfish in neglecting my friends. I needed to change. So, I reached out to an old friend after two years of not speaking to each other. I’m glad I did because she invited me to her wedding. If I didn’t take the initiative to reach out, I could have missed out on her special day. I don’t want to be the type of person who burns bridges – or even neglects them. I am trying to be better.

In other news, the Lakers are not doing so hot. Down 0-2 to the Nuggets. Here I am hoping for a meet-cute at the local café, but what I would really appreciate is the Lakers getting a win tonight... And the next one, and the one after that, and the one after that…

I think that will do for today. I am tired – yet, oddly enough, also restless.

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maraudererasmut · 3 years

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Life Update and All That

Hey all!

It’s T here!

I know it’s been a very long while since I’ve been around, and I figured I’m finally at the point where I can pop by and give a bit of an update, in case anyone was curious.

I left Tumblr and Discord for a bit to get my bearings and re-evaluate things. I needed some time to myself to sort through my mental health, figure some stuff out, and get to the point where I was finally at a better place to be able to come back.

A few things have happened since I’ve left that are actually kind of neat!

I published a book and wrote another manuscript!

I’m not going to share too much information about my book here, because I still do want to keep my smut-writing-pseudonym separate from my professional life, but suffice it to say that I published a novella, which got me started on the strange journey that is publishing!

I’m currently in the process of querying my first full-length manuscript, with the intention of getting an agent and publishing it. Hopefully that will be able to go somewhere, but if not, at least I have learned a lot while on my journey!

I realized that I am trans!

To the shock and surprise of absolutely nobody, the person who wrote gay romance and focused on a storyline that predominantly featured a transmasc character is actually, in fact, gay and trans. Shocking, I know!

It took a bit of thinking and talking and self analyzing that mostly occured during the many, many hours of alone time provided by a global pandemic for me to realize that wanting to be a boy does, in fact, make you probably a boy. Who would have guessed.

Anyway, I’m going by he/they pronouns these days. And uh... I guess my descriptions of dysphoria in all of my fics were a bit closer to home than I was ever willing to admit. Funny how these things work.

I bought a house!

I finally did something that I never thought would be possible in my entire life: I actually purchased a house in my city, which is notoriously expensive. It’s the perfect home for me: a large backyard; my very own shop space, which will soon be filled with tools; a sunroom with tons of windows for writing; a roof that I can climb up to and sit on... It’s really such a great home, and I am so excited to start this new chapter of my life here.

One door closed and another opened!

When I first left, there was a job opportunity that was a bit up in the air that would’ve involved me uprooting my life. While it didn’t end up panning out, I was ended up stumbling upon a different job in my field. I almost forgot how much I love what I do, and I am so glad to be back into the thick of it!

I figured that I should probably also try to pre-emptively answer any questions that you may have while I’m here and typing this all out. So... here goes!

Will you be continuing *insert fanfiction*?

I’m honestly not sure. The best answer that I can give right now is: Maybe?

I definitely want to try to continue some of my storylines, tie up some loose ends, and actually put together those plots that I had swirling around my mind.

That being said, I also have other projects that are currently on the go that might take precidence. Most importantly, I have several original stories that I plan to eventually query (or even publish, if I can!).

If I find that I am inspired to go back and write more Wolfstar, rest assured, I absolutely WILL. These boys will always hold a special place in my heart, and I honestly don’t know if I will ever be truly rid of them, even if I tried.

Will you still be making art for the fandom?

Again, I’m not sure.

I’ve been doing a LOT of fanart, on a different account, just to keep up my skills while I was away. There are quite a few fandoms that I have been making art for, and I don’t know yet if I want to merge these two accounts.

That’s a decision for the future. :P

But you can always try to pop into my ask box and send a request, and if I can get to it, I will try my absolute best.

You and I have unfinished business!! Will you be getting to that?!

Ah, yes. I remember now. I left the fandom while I was in a very BAD place, and most things fell by the wayside while I worked on my mental health. I’m sorry.

If we do have any kind of unfinished business at all that you need to talk to me about, please do! I want to try to resolve things and make sure that everyone is satisfied with whatever solution we can come to. Feel free to reach out, and I will try my absolute best to respond and rectify.

Rest assured, if we have had any kind of negative interraction in the past, I have absolutely spent the past year and a half allowing that to eat away at me. I’ve been feeling guilt up the wazoo, a ball of anxiety so tight, you could probably play baseball with it.

I’m trying not to let these kinds of things bother me anymore. I’m trying to learn to let things go, and focus on the present and the future. I am truly sorry for things that I have done in the past, but I am finally at the point where I am ready to put my effort into making things better instead of dwelling on what was.

Will you be active on this blog now? Are you back for good?

I think you already know the answer to that question...

I don’t know.

I haven’t made any decisions yet about whether or not I’m here to lurk and like and reblog or if I’m going to be actually producing content again. I have no idea yet how active I will be here. That really depends on how I’m feeling, how I’m doing mentally, and what the reception to this post looks like.

So... Maybe?

DID YOU MISS ME WHEN YOU WERE GONE?

Yes. Yes, I did.

If you are actually asking me this question, chances are that I did miss you. Yes, you specifically. Yes, I thought about you a lot. Yes, I wished that I had the courage to go back and just say “HI, I MISSED YOU, PLEASE CAN WE BE FRIENDS AGAIN!”

I am not great at reaching out, though. I’m not great at handling my emotions period. Hopefully, if you’re wondering if I missed you, you’d be interested in reconnecting, knowing that I did, in fact, miss you a lot.

Are you okay now?

I will be.

Even when I’m not okay these days, I at least have the wherewithall to be able to say “while I might not be doing great right now, I know that I will be okay.”

And isn’t that what we all want? :P

Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope this was interesting and/or informative.

And... I’m glad that I wrote this. It helped.

With love,

#maraudererasmut #writing my thoughts out #T Talks

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notepadsandtealeaves · 2 years

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Koutaro Bokuto || Kiss Kiss, Fall in Love 🍃

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

|| ao3 version | series m.list | hq tag | main blog ||

What hast thou then more than thou hadst before? // No love, my love… // All mine was thine before thou hadst this more. –Sonnet 40: Take all my loves, my love, yea, take them all || W. Shakespeare

↠ A love story as told through kisses…

↠ Requested By: Nobody, I just had an ~i d e a~, Mr. Krabs ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW floofy-floof ((but my blog’s 18+ so if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ Chronology: Pre and post time skip. ↠ CWs/TWs: I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Tetsurou Kuroo is his own gd warning. And this time the asshole’s brought friends. They’re a bunch of little shits, but like it’s for the good of your love life lmfao. Also a legit warning for mentions of food and eating in the ‘Volleyball Kiss’ section. ↠ No betas—we die like grammatically incorrect men here. ↠ Total WC: 5.9k~

Long time no see!

November was very… let’s say annoying—yeah, that’s a good word for it lol. Cue me writing comfort ficlets for myself featuring Actual Human Sunshine Koutaro Bokuto because he’s got the type of energy I need to get through these trying times lol…

Needless to say, I am a Stage 3 simp for this pretty owl boy (as well as childhood friends to lovers vibes), and I’m totally okay with that. I will now leave you to (hopefully) enjoy the fruits of said simping lol…

🍃 First Kiss

Eyes on You || WC: 3.3k~

You fly into the body before you with curses spat out from between gritted teeth, damn near snarl when you hear the raucous laughter that echoes through the door that slams behind you in nearly the same moment. No doubt they’ve barred the thing from the outside, wanting to keep you in for their twisted amusement just as much as their safety, the absolute assholes.

Oh, somebody’s gonna pay royally for this one—several somebodies, in fact—but you’ll have time to exact your revenge later. For now your main concern is extracting yourself from the person that’s holding you up without accidentally copping a feel. Easier said than done, that, given just how damn thick he is.

Even at sixteen Koutaro Bokuto is nearly six feet and two hundred pounds of pure muscle; the sheer size of him makes it all but impossible to touch him without feeling like you’re groping him at least a little, but then again it really all comes down to intent, you suppose. And you certainly have no designs on him like that. Which isn’t to say that you don’t find him attractive, quite the opposite in fact, it’s just that you’re not a creep about it–

Though he’s probably thinking otherwise, given the way you’re acting right now. At the very least he thinks you’ve gone a little bit feral…

You stop hissing out profanities and half formed threats just long enough to mutter an apology as you finally untangle yourself before moving as far back as the closet’s limited space will allow for (which isn’t much given the fact that it’s, yanno, a fucking closet).

Fuck that rooster-haired motherfucker for throwing this damn party in the first place. All that ‘building cohesion between teams’, ‘prefecture solidarity’ bullshit was just an excuse to get on some fuck-shit, as per usual. And doubly fuck Konoha for suggesting that you tag along. “Finals have been rough on us all, but you especially need to loosen up, Manager-chan. I’m just looking out for you!”—yeah, okay. And definitely fuck Yamamoto’s thirsty ass for suggesting you all play some seven minutes in heaven/spin the bottle hybrid.

And hell, while you’re at it, the universe can kiss your entire ass too. If it wasn’t so clearly using those closest to you to conspire against you, you wouldn’t be trapped in Kuroo’s janky little coat closet with the guy you’ve spent the better part of the last year actively crushing on.

You don’t even know when you started to catch feelings for Kou. You’ve known him for most of your life, so there’s a chance that it’s all some great and inescapable inevitability or something equally kismeic; or maybe it’s something less flowery and abstract, a base attraction driven by teenage hormones and proximity. You can’t rightly say one way or another, but what you very much do know is that once you found out life got a whole hell of a lot harder.

Koutaro Bokuto is just so… everything you could ever want in a boyfriend, really.

Aside from the obvious physical appeal, he’s honestly one of the best people you know. He’s caring, sweet, kind, funny, giving oftentimes to a fault… He’s always there to cheer you on with that heart-stopping grin of his, always the first one to extend a hand and a word of encouragement whenever they’re needed, or a shoulder to cry on when you have to let it all out. Honestly when you stop to think on it, it’s not even surprising that you fell for him—what’s actually weird, in your extremely biased opinion, is how there aren’t more people fawning over him.

Sure, he gets a fair bit of attention for what he’s able to do on the court, but that’s all superficial. The few admirers that he’s attempted to pursue a relationship with never really wanted him in truth. They only ever wanted the convenient parts—the infectious joy and seemingly endless laughter and the clout that came with being so closely associated with a guy that was very clearly going places. But when it came to his other side—the hard crashes in mood and energy both, the ‘himbo’ moments that saw him occasionally misstepping, that single minded drive that so often tunneled his vision down to volleyball at the detriment of everything else—they couldn’t hang.

It always hurts, seeing him come back to you with his proverbial tail tucked between his legs, but in true Bokuto form he always bounces back with a few well-placed words of praise and reassurance. Still, you know that it has to be taking a toll on him, it certainly is on you. How many times can you assure him that there’s someone out there for him that will accept him for all that he is and is not before your true feelings come tumbling out? Or worse yet before he finds that in someone that isn’t you?

That fear runs deeper and colder than even that of rejection, but despite it all you’ve still yet to gather the courage to tell him the truth. And so you hide it all away instead, waiting until you think yourself strong enough—brave enough—to throw all caution to the wind and properly confess.

Being as close as you are, it hasn’t been easy to keep your feelings to yourself, but you’ve been managing to hold your own. Mostly. Really it’s only Koutaro himself that’s unaware of your feelings, as literally everyone else that spends more than five minutes around the pair of you has picked up on it. The record for fastest time of recognition goes to Akaashi, unsurprisingly.

The overly observant first year had peeped you the very same minute you’d come to stand next to the Ace—though in your defense it was kinda hard to hide your reaction when Kou had pulled you into a bone crushing hug, his face instantly burrowing its ways into your hair and taking noisy pulls of the familiar scent in between gushing about having missed you while he was away visiting family over the break.

“Ah, so this is your partner then?” the ravenette had asked as he looked between you with a small smile. Said smile turned questioning when you both gave an answer in the negative, and then he was focusing his appraising gaze solely onto your very flustered self. He blinked once in recognition of the panic that had started to rise behind your eyes before shrugging. “Hm, sorry, my mistake…” The small nod that he’d shot your way afterwards was enough to assure that your secret was as safe with him as it was with anybody.

And sure, none of your friends have ever outted you, but they have been doing the absolute most with their attempts to push the two of you together. It wouldn’t be so bad, honestly, if Kou wasn’t so damn oblivious. It almost feels pointed, his ignoring their blatant efforts and your feelings that are growing more and more obvious with every interaction. While he may not always be the smartest academically, there’s no denying that he’s got a creature sense when it comes to all things emotional.

If he hasn’t picked up on it yet it’s because he doesn’t want to—be that purposefully or subliminally.

Either way it smacks of the rejection that you refuse to put yourself, or your friendship, though. This is why you avoid his stare in the dimly lit space with crossed arms and pursed lips. The bald bulb overhead casts you both in a sickly yellow tint that does nothing for your complexion, but everything for Bo’s eyes. They look like pools of honey or maybe even molten gold, and their fathomless depths are something that you would gladly get lost in if given half the chance.

For his part the Ace runs a hand over his hair—there’s even more gray in the strands than there had been this time last year, with the remaining black bits being relegated to blocky lowlights—as he looks from the door to you and back again with a sheepish expression.

“I would say ‘it could be worse’, buuut… Well you don’t exactly seem thrilled about being stuck in here with me.”

In your still rattled state you don’t know how to respond to that without potentially giving something away so you settle for a noncommittal (and mildly distressed) sound.

He deflates a bit at that, his broad shoulders noticeably drooping as he leans against the little shoe rack at his back. “Yeah, I mean, that’s fair. After all, why would you want to be trapped in a closet with your bestie when you could be sucking face with your crush, amirite?”

Though it’s meant to come off as a joke, there’s a thread of something that begs you to meet his stare. When you turn to face him, however, his gaze is focused on the slab of wood that bars you from freedom.

“It must’ve really sucked since he was right there, too. If there was just a little bit more force behind your spin you could’ve been in here with him.”

His tone is overly casual, clearly forced, and not nearly good enough to cover up the thread of something darker that lies just beneath the surface. You’ve only ever really heard his voice take on such a tint one time before, when Shiratorizawa’s Ace had come in and upset the rankings early in the season, nudging Bo out of his top three spot. Though he had tried to play it off, it was extremely obvious that he was–

Wait.

…Is he… jealous?

You’re not sure if it’s just some terrible combination of wishful thinking and projection, or if you’re actually detecting a hint of dejection-fueled envy right now. And if that’s not surreal enough, he actually thinks that you have a crush on someone that isn’t him? What in the actual fuck…

“I… Wha? Kou, what are you–? Who are…?” You mentally go over who was sitting where before it all clicks. “Wait. Akaashi? You think I have a thing for fuckin’ Keiji Akaashi?”

The sharpness of your tone leaves him flinching as he replies with a “Umm, yeah?” that says this should be obvious—which by his estimation it probably should be given the fact that it’s your supposed crush.

“Why would I–? I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with him, but where the hell are you even getting this from?”

He shrugs. “You mean besides the fact that you’re always staring at him? Which I mean, fair. He’s a handsome guy—those baby blues? I’m swooning.”

Once again the joke falls flat, not least of all because he sounds like he’s on the verge of tears. That he clears his throat harshly before pinching at the space between his eyes—eyes that are squeezed shut and turned skywards—afterwards only serves to lend credence to your assumption.

You reach for him then, his name falling from your lips on a sigh, but an extended hand sees you stopping short. He tries to assure you that it’s okay, that he’s happy for you, really, and is even willing to play wingman for you if you’re too shy to make a move on your own. That he’s so willing to put your happiness ahead of his own, even when it’s obviously tearing him apart, only serves to make you fall just that little bit deeper.

Seeing him like this you cannot for the life of you remember why it was you were so scared of confessing. Kou has always been so gentle with your heart, cradling your feelings close to his chest and handling them as gently as if they were his own. Even if he couldn’t return your affections he would never spurn them—or you.

And so you gather up the hand that still hovers just inches away from your chest between both of your own. Years of honing his craft has left the skin on his palm overly smooth in some places and rough and hardened in others. These callouses tell the story of an unyielding devotion to a passion that was once little more than a distant dream spoken about in a pillow fort on rainy weekend night. In the time since he’s done everything in his power to make that dream come true, and you’ve been right by his side for the whole of it, and will continue to be, if given the chance. But that’s a chance that you’ll never get if you don’t take one yourself—right here, and right now.

It’s a lot easier to jump, you find, when you know that someone’s waiting to catch you.

By the time you’ve laid out the whole of your heart to your best friend, his smile’s much wider than any you’ve ever seen from him before, and that’s certainly saying a lot. His free hand comes up to slap at the middle of his forehead as he calls himself a dummy with a huff of exasperation.

“‘Only looking at Akaashi because he was always next to you’—or, erm, well me. How did I never notice?” He continues to assault himself even as he laughs, prompting you to take this hand into your care too before he gives himself a headache.

“I dunno, but I guess it kinda makes sense? Honestly I didn’t even really sort out my feelings for you until the start of this school year, so…” You give a half shrug as you tangle your fingers together. “I guess I can kinda see why you would’ve thought that, since it all happened around the same time.”

He concedes the point with a half nod, but—“Still, I… I dunno. You would think I would’ve picked up on it before now. I mean, I had always hoped, but… You never said anything when I went out with those other people–”

“Yeah, because it wasn’t my place. It’s not like I had any claim over you, so–” When he gives you a confused looking pout you sigh loudly. “It would’ve been really fucking selfish of me if I told you to not go out with them just because I wanted you–”

“Not if you would’ve told me why,” he insists, “not if I wanted you too.”

“I… Kou…” You can feel your cheeks heating and you’re quick to duck your head to hide your flustered state. “Fuckin’– You can’t just say stuff like that.”

“And why not, hm? Why shouldn’t I tell the person that I’m absolutely head over heels for just how much they mean to me?”

He loosens a hand from your grip then, cupping your chin and raising your face back to level. You stubbornly keep your eyes downcast for several long seconds, though once you finally look up…

Koutaro’s pretty eyes are blown impossibly wide with a grin to match; his skin has taken on a light, but thorough blush, with the pink stain stretching from his scalp and down to his neck to disappear beneath the fabric of his shirt.

“Gosh, ____, you’re really cute. Have I ever told you that before?”

Your whining of his name scales up into a sharp gasp when he poses one simple question:

“Can I kiss you?”

Your mouth is replying before you brain can properly process his words, with the “Gods, yes” falling past your lips on a sigh. His own lips move just as quickly then—just as desperate, needy, hungry. He’s on you in nearly the same instant, using your still tangled hands to pull you into him as he all but slams your faces together. Even with the barrier of your lips there, you can still feel your teeth colliding, though better those than your noses you suppose. Really it’s only the fact that your head was already somewhat tilted that saved you from that good discount rhinoplasty.

You both pull apart with muttered sounds of pain, but despite the embarrassment that’s clearly playing out across the Ace’s face it’s obvious that he wants to try again, and you of course, are all too willing to let him.

He’s gentle this time, slow and methodical and oh-so-tender as he cups your face between his slightly shaky palms. He holds you like you’re something infinitely precious and fleeting, with a quiet reverence overtaking the whole of his being. He doesn’t try to kiss you right away, choosing instead to look you over with those honeycomb eyes that syrup with an affection that you never thought would be aimed at you, but craved nevertheless. Rough thumbs brush over the apples of your cheeks—“So soft,” he mumbles under his breath. “So soft and warm and cute~”—in a supplicant’s display that leaves your face heating all the more.

You want to return the favor, want to make him feel as adored and cherished and loved as you do in this moment, but it’s almost as if you’re caught in trance. You’re drunk on him already and he’s barely even touched you. It’s all so much—too much, really—and yet you’re ravenous for every bit of affection that he’s willing to offer. Months of longing (years, if you’re being honest) have made you greedy for his attentions, with your rapidly mounting need begging you to entreat him with a soft “Kou, please.”

Your words pull him from whatever stupor he had slipped into, leaving him to blink dumbly for a couple of seconds before nodding his assent and slowly following through. Long fingers curl under your chin and, after allowing you to melt under the smolder of his eyes for a beat more, he draws you into the kiss.

When he presses his lips against yours this time it’s a slow, careful thing. Inexperience on both your parts makes the initial meeting a bit awkward; first there’s not enough pressure, then there’s too much lip somehow, and adding tongues into the mix is a whole entire thing, but you’re both determined to get it right, and once you do…

All-consuming is the only way you can think to describe it. Kissing Koutaro fills up the whole of your being, replacing any thoughts and concerns with him-him-him, invading all of your senses. You’re so caught up that you don’t realize that your seven minutes are up, not even when the door is wrenched open to flood the closet with a light that is quickly eclipsed by your host’s hulking frame.

“Time’s up love bir- Oh.” Kuroo chokes out a startled laugh as he takes stock of the situation with those sharp, feline eyes of his. “Oh damn, okay, huh. Didn’t uhhh, didn’t expect things to go that well. I guess congratulations are in order then, as well as thanks–”

“Tetsurou…”

Clearly the boy’s got a death wish as he ignores your warning growl of his name in favor of winding you up some more. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to say it now—just promise me that I can be best man at the wedding and we’ll call it square.” When your only reply is a raised middle finger he just cackles that ugly, not-so-little laugh of his before closing the door again with a comment about leaving the pair of you to it.

The retort that you can feel building behind your teeth dies instantly when Kou tugs you back into him. He regards you with heavily lidded eyes and a lopsided smile as he promises to help you jack up your meddling mutual friend later—“But for now…”

He lifts your chin with a curl of his fingers in a move that is already becoming familiar to you, before stealing your breath away once again with his kiss.

🍃 Volleyball Kiss

Eyes on the Prize || WC: ~1.1k

One last warning for mentions of food and eating for anyone who may need it. The whole of this section is centered around Bo eating himself silly so if that’s a thing that makes you uncomfy for any reason you’re probably better off skipping this one…

You and Kai listen with somewhat rapt attention to the tale that Kuroo weaves about the latest convention that he and Kenma attended—somewhat being the keyword as you cannot help but to divide your attention between him and the humanoid owl that is steadily creeping up behind him. Said owl boy is the reason that you’re even entertaining this conversation, as well as the excessive heat of the grilling station, in the first place.

Bokuto’s love of all things meaty and delicious is known throughout the prefecture, add to that the caloric needs of a hyperactive athlete of his stature and it hardly comes as a surprise that he’s had more than his fair share at this barbeque. He’s as relentless in his quest for more yakiniku as he is for a clean spike on the court, and you being the loving and supportive partner that you are, are here to help him out.

Your job is a simple one—all you have to do is distract the rival school’s captain while your boyfriend secures another helping. It’s an easy enough feat given that Tetsurou absolutely loves the sound of his own voice (never mind the crush he’s been nursing on his best friend for years now), so keeping him talking’s been easy enough.

You nod and hum and laugh along with the overly tall middle blocker, all the while keeping an extremely amused eye on Bo’s surprisingly stealthy approach.

“–his face when he found out! He looked like he wanted to cry, puke, and punch something all at once. Gods, I wish I could’ve gotten a picture…” Tetsu continues around a chuckle. “And then the poor booth worker had to–”

You have no idea how he sees the set of chopsticks when they’re barely visible to you, but Kuroo’s sentence immediately devolves into a rebuking cry of “Oh hell no, Bokuto! You are not getting all the meat, you son of a bitch!”

In that same moment he snatches up your boyfriend by his collar, but it’s too late. The slices of rōsu have already been banished to the seemingly endless abyss that is his gaping maw never to be seen again. As he chews his prize with a self-satisfied smile the lot of you cannot help but to laugh, though it’s pretty clear that Kuroo is none too pleased at having been bested.

“Fine. You win this time, but try that shit again and I promise you it’s your ass.” To you, “And you. I expected better from you, ____, though I have no idea why.”

“Me neither,” you agree. “Really, you’re hurting your own feelings at this point.”

He snorts at that, shoving your still nomming boyfriend in your general direction before putting a hand on both of your shoulders and herding you away from the grills. “Alright ya gremlins, you’ve had more than your fair share–”

“I actually haven’t had any meat,” you inform him around a snicker.

“Yeah, well Bo’s had enough for the both of you. Now kindly go away and leave some for the rest for us.” Kuroo gives you one last little shove before heading back to the grills, mumbling something about getting at least one veggie kabab into his various kohai. You wish him luck before turning your attention back to Koutaro.

For his part your boyfriend is still happily munching away on the various cuts that he managed to snag before being pulled away, occasionally dipping into your plate to grab a bit of rice and the odd vegetable when you give him an imploring look. He tears through the lot of it with the type of ravenous energy that only a teenaged athlete can harness, and it’s only after making several more trips to the buffet style spread to fill up on various sides and desserts that he’s satisfied.

Unsurprisingly the itis kicks in fairly quickly after that leaving Kou to crash hard. He all but collapses on you, complaining about how full his tummy feels all the while, and asking you to rub it for him.

“Don’t whine now, you did this to yourself,” you chide, though there’s no real heat behind the words.

“Babyyy,” he whines anyway, eyes droopy and lips pouted up cutely, “don’t be mean to me, I’m sick.”

“You’re ridiculous is what you are.”

“Yeah, but you love me anyways~”

Well, he’s not wrong.

You let him position himself as he pleases—that your charitable act will see a good portion of your body going numb from having his hulking frame braced against your middle is proof that no good deed goes unpunished. But you can’t bring yourself to care overmuch, not when he snuggles into your chest so sweetly, arms wrapped around your middle and legs stretched out behind him to tangle with your own sloppily. With him lying on his stomach it’s pretty much impossible for you to comply with his initial request, but when you point this out to him he just shrugs.

“Play with my hair then? Please??”

Your fingers lace themselves into the two-toned strains without further prompting. Between the heat of the day and all the sweating he’d done earlier his hair has lost a fair bit of its volume; the near sentient locks seem to wilt further as Kou’s breaths go heavy with sleep. Within moments he’s lost to the waking world, or at least you’d thought he was–

“Thanks f’helpin’ me get mah meat, babe, luh yooou…” He raises up just enough to punctuate the sleep-slurred declaration with a sweet little kiss to your lips. Bleary eyes watch you intently for a beat afterwards, clearly waiting for something—oh.

“Love you too, Kou-Kou Bean.”

He gives you one of those megawatt grins then, the kind that always leaves your heart speeding up from a beautifully tumultuous mixture of overflowing happiness and boundless love and all things good and wholesome, and then he’s flopping back down into his previous position and knocking out with a speed that’s equal parts concerning and impressive. Likewise your hands find their way back into his tufted mane, stroking through the locks and rubbing at his scalp until his breaths deepen into soft little snores.

It doesn’t matter that your butt’s gone numb and that he’s drooling on your shirt—you’ll gladly stay like this until the end of time if it means giving him back even a fraction of the love and happiness he brings into your life.

🍃 One Hundredth Kiss

No Words Needed or Eyes on You, Pt. 2 || WC: ~700

Sometimes you can almost swear that Koutaro’s gaze legitimately has a tactile quality to it—how else can you explain the fact that you always, always know when he’s looking at you?

The feel of his gaze varies. Sometimes it’s like a caress against your cheek, a small show of affection when he can’t readily offer it in a more substantial way. Other times it’s like he’s incessantly tapping on your shoulder, an excitable puppy’s bid to get you to acknowledge him. And other times still it’s far less demanding, settling over the whole of you like a comforting weight—a warm embrace that’s usually followed shortly after by the whole of his muscled frame fitting itself snugly against your back.

In the now it’s more like that tapping, if not as insistent, and you find yourself turning around after just a few seconds. Sunshine irises brighten more than what should be possible the moment your eyes meet, though the view is soon eclipsed by their crossing. Before your brain could ever hope to process the motion, your own eyes are mirroring the motion; it’s a kneejerk reaction at this point, a Pavlovian response to a game that you’ve been playing since your earliest days. He pulls another face then, with you making an even weirder one in reply and him trying to top it right after. The pair of you go back and forth like this for a good few minutes before your laughter makes it all but impossible to go on.

You tilt your head back when your giggles finally die out, a contented sigh pushing past your lips as you brush away the tears of mirth that’re still stubbornly clinging to your lashline. When you drop your head back to level you’re not at all surprised to find that your boyfriend’s already watching you. His gaze has softened down into something soft and syrupy sweet and his smile is just as gentle. He extends a hand towards you then in a move fit for a Disney prince, and you’re quick to accept the silent invitation.

He tugs you into his lap, ignoring feeble protests that are more out of habit than any actual concern at this point, and situating you so that he can bury his face into curve of your neck. A deep breath fills his lungs with your scent, though the trailing exhale is more akin to a lovesick sigh.

“Thank you.”

The words are murmured so quietly that had you not been so close you would have missed them entirely. Your replying inquiry is posed just as softly in fear of potentially breaking the fragile atmosphere with something louder.

“For this,” he gives you a purposeful squeeze as he says it, “for being you, for letting me be me.”

Instead of further filling the air you chose instead to set your lips to a sweeter work. The kiss you share is a chaste thing—a physical manifestation of the overwhelming love that you have for this man just as much as it’s a promise, one that you could never fully put into words, but is understood just the same.

I love you, it says, all of you, without conditions or restraint.

And when you feel his smile blooming underneath your lips you know that he not only understands, but reciprocates it a hundred fold.

🍃 Forever Kiss

Eyes on the Future || WC: ~1k

“I think I love you.”

Koutaro seems to realize that this may have not been the best thing to say in nearly the same moment that the words breach the air, if the near comical way his eyes widen is any indication.

“I– sorry, I, um, meant to think that,” he amends, voice sheepish and cheeks reddening as he gives you a half smile.

“If that was supposed to make me feel better, it didn’t,” comes your dry reply. “What do you mean you ‘think’? And why are you only considering the possibility now, when we’ve been together for years? I mean, are you just now realizing it? Or did you not love me before, or–”

You’re sure that this is all just some sort of misunderstanding, a breakdown in communication not just between the pair of you, but between Koutaro’s brain and mouth as well. It’s a common enough occurrence that you really shouldn’t be surprised, but still—what the hell??

He shakes his head hard as he comes to gather you up in his arms, but your mildly panicky confusion has you stiffening under his touch. He makes a pained sound at that before assuring you over and over again that it’s not what you think at all.

“Of course I love you, baby! You know I do! Hell, I loved you before I even really knew what love was, before I even realized that was the reason being around you made my heart race and my head all jumbly. I just–” He stops short then and takes a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. He does this a few more times before he trusts himself to speak again.

“Okay, so we both know I’m not always the best with words, so please, just… Just let me get it all out and then I’ll explain any super confusing bits afterwards. That okay?” A small smile pulls at his lips when you nod, with the plush of them coming to cuddle themselves against your forehead in a move that almost seems compulsory, like he couldn’t not kiss you in this moment.

“See, it’s stuff like that that just makes me so”—he makes an odd noise then, one that would be indecipherable to most others, but makes perfect sense to you—“yanno? You’re always so patient with me, even when I stop making sense. You get me, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.” Another kiss follows his words, this one a lingering peck against your mouth that’s clearly meant to further illustrate said appreciation.

“We’ve known each other for a long time now, most of our lives, really, and I’ve spent nearly the whole of that time falling for you in every possible way. First you were my friend, then my best friend, then my crush, and then mine—like mine-mine, and honestly I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I went into that closet fully expecting to have my heart broken, but I got the exact opposite, I got you, and in the time since I’ve found that there’s so many more ways to love you.

“That’s what I was trying to say before. I think I’ve fallen again, maybe for the last time, actually. I, uh– Hm. How do I even say this? Uhh… Give me a sec?”

You nod again from where you’ve buried your face against him in a vain attempt to hide your flustered state. What had started off as a mildly concerning statement has turned into a declaration of a love that runs deeper than you ever dared to hope for, and gods you Are Not Prepared for this. Like at all.

“Okay, so,” he starts after a few long moments, “I love you—like a lot a lot. I know I said that I thought I fell for the last time, but that’s only partly true because I’m still falling. What I feel for you, it doesn’t have a bottom; it’s big and so, so deep, and that so scary to me, not gonna lie, and kinda overwhelming, but like in a good way, if that makes any sense? Am I even making sense anymore?”

Though you nod again, the weight of his gaze begs to be met and so you lift your eyes to meet his and what you find swirling through their golden depths leave you gasping. There’s a universe’s worth of love to be found there—continually expanding to hold the yield of a well whose source is everlasting. You’re not sure what it is he sees in your eyes, but whatever is there is enough to give him the resolve he needs to continue on.

“I want forever with you, babe, no matter what that looks like. Marriage and kids, one or the other, or neither really. I don’t need altars or rings or to stand up and recite age old vows in front of a big group of people—I don’t need any of that so long as I have you.”

“And you do,” you promise. “Always have, and always will.”

He smiles brightly at that before his lips part around that infectious laughter of his. He manages to get a teasing “Oya?” out in between his chuckles only to be met with the word in duplicate, but before he can say it again you’re pressing your lips against his. Giggles lace themselves into the ministration making it more of a meeting of mouths than a true kiss, but neither of you would have it any other way–

Because this is real and it’s true and so very, very you.

You can’t rightly say what the future will hold or what forever truly looks like, but so long as Koutaro Bokuto’s in it—by your side, and hand wrapped firmly around your own—it’s one worth running towards with arms spread wide and heart laid bare.

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#((Immy does fan fiction: The Volleybaes))#bokuto x reader #bokuto x gn!reader #bokuto x gender neutral reader #bokuto x you #bokuto x y/n #bokuto fluff #haikyuu bokuto #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu fluff

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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Impersonal

As promised, here’s the smutty followup to yesterday’s blurb! This is the fifth post of seven in my Platonically themed event. Again, it’s not really been edited because it’s late and I’m very tired but alas, thats how it goes.

Words: 2,278

Warning: some vague dom/sub dynamic stuff with a more dom Ben, spanking, it’s P in V sex but theres a lot of talk about butts. Also they’re still dorks.

It had been a nice day. You and Ben had gone out with a few friends, just a little picnic in the park to catch up with everyone. If you’d been at all worried about publicly being together on a no romo day, then it was for nothing. As much as everyone there considered you and Ben to be an item, it mostly went ignored, aside from a couple of questions about how you’d gone living together so far. But having such a big lunch, everyone having brought something to share, neither of you were especially hungry at dinner time. Ben whipped up a pot of butted noodles for you to pick at as you watched TV but it was soon set aside as you shifted to lean against the arm rest with your legs stretched out to lay over Ben’s thighs. Each of you were engrossed in your phones more than the quiz show he’d flicked on, occasionally sharing something you saw or read.

You had opened tumblr and were scrolling through your dash, pausing to read longer bits here and there but mostly just liking images and reblogging memes. Until you hit a patch of not safe for work content. One of the porn blogs you’d long since forgotten you’d followed had hit a rare patch of activity, every second post one of theirs. Those posts you paid a little more attention to, especially when videos and explicit images were involved since you knew they were likely to be taken down soon and you didn’t want to miss out on seeing something hot. Unfortunately your headphones were in another room so you weren’t game to turn the sound on for any of the videos but the visuals and erotic comments below were enough to make you feel as if the room as heated up. You could feel yourself getting wetter at each new post but couldn’t seem to stop looking at them.

A particularly good video of a sloppy blowjob made you clench your thighs together, your foot rubbing against Ben’s thigh as a result. His palm came to rest on the top of your foot, rubbing it soothingly, though his attention was still elsewhere. In fact, his gaze didn’t shift until a little later when you were looking at a very hot gifset of a woman on all fours, crying as she was pounded from behind. He cleared his throat. You jolted a little at the sound and tried not to look too guilty as you met his eye. “You okay?” “Mmhmm,” His eyes travelled over you from the lip between your teeth to your tightly pressed thighs and your fingers wrapped firmly around the phone. “I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said, clearly meaning to do exactly that, “but ummmm, are you watching porn right now?” “No,” you answered too quickly. “Hey, you don’t have to hide it if you are, go nuts. I’m just a little curious about what’s turned you on so much you’re practically panting. And can I help?” “I’m not watching anything. It’s just some gifs I saw.” “Well I think QPR law states you have to show me or you’d be a big meanie.” You chuckled and handed the phone to Ben, a little curious about how he’d react. Ben watched the gifs through a couple of times before nodding, “Yeah, that’s uhhh, that’s pretty hot,” he rubbed your foot again as he kept watching the looped footage. “Are you turned on?” “Yeah, a bit,” “Hmmm, same.” “Should we-” “Do you wanna-” You spoke at the same time and then both laughed a little as you simultaneously agreed, “Yeah.” Immediately you swung your legs around intending to walk towards the bedroom and Ben followed for about two steps before he stopped suddenly, “Wait. This is a no romo day, right? Do you still feel anti-romance?” “Yes and yeah I think so. Why?” Ben shrugged, “I don’t think we’ve ever had sex on a no romo day so...how does it work?” “Oh, good point. Well.” you wanted to keep it brief, already worked up and wanting to move to the fun part, “I think it’s probably best if we keep it on kind of the rougher side, a little impersonal even. Could you maybe hit it from behind? I’m not really sure eye contact and all that stuff would be as fun for me right now.” “No need to ask twice. My hot partner wants me to look at her gorgeous arse while I fuck her? Yeah definitely into that.” “Jesus I’d forgotten you’re an arse man.” It was true too. As much as Ben might prefer ass to tits he also enjoyed the visual stimulation of watching you – seeing the pleasure on your face, watching your body react to his. So, while doggy style was a regular position for you, variations of missionary and cowgirl were probably a little more frequent. Which was wonderful, except not what you needed right then. Ben responded by poking his tongue out you but he seemed quite as eager to move things along, “So rough doggy then? Can I spank you?” “You’d be into that?” He shrugged, “I know we haven’t really done anything kinky yet but yeah, I enjoy spanking. I mean...watching an arse jiggle after it’s hit is incredibly hot.” You giggled, “spanking is very okay then. You could be a little mean too if you wanted, maybe calling me a degrading name to get at that impersonal thing. Slut maybe.” He hummed uncertainly, “I can try it if you really want but I gotta admit I’m not as into degrading stuff as I am spanking.” “It’s fine if you don’t, whatever works. Honestly, I’m already super horny so just do whatever you’re comfortable with and don’t get too gentle or loving with it, and I’ll be happy.” “I can definitely do rough for you. For instance,” You gasped as Ben grasped your hips and turned you around, positioning you in front of the arm of the couch before he pushed you to bend over it. It was a surprise considering Ben’s typical nature. He had his controlling or domineering moments but generally seemed happiest when he was showering you in affection or letting you take charge. Adding to the surprise was the way he tugged your pants down to your knees and began to touch you through your underwear. It made you squirm, trying to find a little more friction, but he only gave you a quick spank. Not overly hard but it didn’t have to be to make you feel tingly. Just knowing Ben was capable of an action like that was hot enough. All the same he pulled your knickers down too and ran his fingers through your folds. “Wow, okay. You meant it when you said you were horny. Pretty wet already.” “No shit Sherlock. You know I don’t need lines like that that get you interested in fucking me.” He gave you another slap for your insolence. “Better get you stretched out then, hadn’t we?” You felt two of Ben’s fingers rest against your entrance and expected to feel them sink into you too. But it didn’t happen. “What’s the hold up, Tiger? Ow,” the spank had been a little harder than the last. “If you want them so bad, do it yourself.” Your breath caught as you realised what he meant and you shifted your hips back, levering yourself against the arm of the couch, until you felt his fingers penetrate you. “That’s it Kitten. You’re too horny to wait, aren’t you? God you’ve got such a pretty arse. Giving me the best view right now. Your needy cunt soaking my fingers while your arse,” he hit you again, “jiggles. It’s making me so hard.” You whined, unable to find a better response, and rocked back against his fingers, slowly fucking yourself on them. He let you go on like that for a little while, happy to listen to your hitched breaths and needy sighs as you got a little of what you needed. But then he pulled his fingers from you. You let out a disappointed whimper, “Ben, c’mon,” “I’m so hard from watching you be so desperate. Just gotta get my pants off. But you can play with yourself for me, can’t you?” You nodded and shifted so you could drop your fingers to your pussy. Ben gave your arse another slap, “Not what I meant Kitten. Play with your arse.” Startled by the low growl in his voice you quickly complied, leaning on the couch as your brought both hands up to grab your arse cheeks, squeezing them and pulling them apart to better show off your holes.” “That’s very good, Kitten. Spank yourself.” It wasn’t the same as when Ben spanked you since you knew what was coming and the position didn’t allow you to get as much force into your hits as he could. But it was definitely arousing and it definitely seemed to work for Ben. You’d barely registered the sound of his pants dropping before he was sliding into your wet and waiting cunt. “I can take it from here,” Ben’s hands replaced yours, groping your arse as you dropped your arms back to the couch, though you felt it was useless to try and prop yourself up on them. It would only be a matter of time before you collapsed entirely.

At first he kept the pace slower, letting you adjust to him, though each thrust was forceful, just as you’d asked it to be. But gradually Ben sped up, hands still playing with your cheeks, sometimes grabbing and sometimes spanking them. He tried to say more about how hot it was to take you like that but his own breath was escaping him as the words seemed to be. So he let his body talk for him as he pounded your cunt and dug his fingers into your flesh. And then he pulled out. You were on the verge of asking him who the fuck he thought he was when he said, “one second. Just want to try something.” and then, remembering he was meant to be acting mean, added, “And you just want me to keep fucking you, so you’re not going to complain.” In a disgruntled daze you let Ben help you up onto the back of the couch so that one leg was bent to lean against the arm he’d just had you bent over and the other dangled towards the floor. It took a little more adjustment before Ben was happy. First pulling you back towards him and the corner of the couch, and then pressing you to lean forward so your hips were raised and he could better access your pussy. You had to grab onto the back of the couch for support, digging your fingertips into the leather as Ben resumed fucking you. The angle had changed a little and the position was slightly more awkward to maintain but it was worth it for the way your clit rubbed against the smooth leather, leaving a trail of wetness behind. Each thrust rocked your hips in such a way that you quickly found yourself getting close to release.

That, however, seemed to be Ben’s plan as he began telling you how good you were going to make him feel when he made you cum. “I know you’re close Kitten. So just cum. I want to feel your cunt on me when you do.” He lay another few spanks to your arse cheeks and that tipped you over into your orgasm. But Ben didn’t stop. “I th-think you can do bett-er than that,” he grit out as you clenched around him and he seemed to thrust twice as hard as he had before, “You were so,” You grunted as he plowed into you. “So desperate before. So you can cum better than that. Right kitten?” You nodded and gasped out a, “Yes” as your arms shook with how hard Ben was fucking you. But he didn’t relent. He kept going until he felt you tighten again and heard you moan, nearly sobbing as relief flooded your system. That seemed to be enough for Ben and he let himself go too, holding your hip tightly as he pressed deep into you.

Ben leaned his forehead against your back as he tried to regain his regular breathing rate and gave you a quick kiss there before he righted himself and helped you to dismount the couch. The evidence of your orgasms was still smeared across the leather but neither of you paid it any attention. “Sorry I never called you a slut or anything,” Ben said with a slightly self-conscious chuckle, avoiding your eye as he hitched his pants back into place. “I just like Kitten better.” “Don’t be,” you said mirroring his actions to looking at him, “Kitten worked perfectly. Also, that was really good. Maybe you could be rough and mean more often?” “The double orgasm was a pretty good indication that it worked for you,” “Of shut up, I was being serious. It was really hot.” “Yes but I like teasing you, remember,” “Prick.” “That hurts,” he said with a fake gasp and a hand against his chest, “Keep talking like that and I’ll have to spank you again,” “Ha ha, very funny. Tease me all you want but we both you enjoyed it as much as I did.” “Maybe I did.” he conceded, “but I wasn’t going to hate it when I was watching your arse.” “Alright, you perv. Was there any leftover noodles? Bit peckish now.” “Yeah, in the fridge. Grab me some too would you?”

#my writing #my blurbs #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy smut #ben hardy imagine #does this make sense? who knows!#am i turned on from thinking about it? absolutely!#am i also literally about to fall asleep? yes!#its after midnight and this has been a long week!#g'night!!#platonically event

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honeyhuun · 3 years

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astro’s reaction to you calling them late at night

~ type . reaction

~ requested . no

~ pairing . astro x gender-neutral!reader

~ genre . comfort fluff with some slight angst

~ tw . mentions of insomnia

~ song recommendation . all night by astro

~ a/n . ahh it feels so good to be writing on this platform again ~ hopefully i can stay more active on this blog hehe, i hope you enjoy my first reaction !! it’s like 12am when i’m writing this so it might be shit lol. i just miss ot6 astro a lot mm’kay, someone tell eunwoo to come home ;-;

you check the time on your phone and it’s only three am when it feels like you have tried to fall asleep for what felt like hours. you sit up in bed and rub your tired red eyes, fearing for when your alarm would start going off alerting you to start your day when you hadn’t even finished the last. in your sluggish haste you dialled your boyfriend’s number with empty hope that’ll he will pick up...

| p a r k j i n w o o

it took him a while to answer, as expected he was fast asleep. but when he was dragged finally dragged so far outside of his sleep cycle to notice that his phone was ringing, he shot up so fast and answered immediately. when jinwoo heard your voice on the other end he became even more concerned than he already was. why were you awake at this time? was something troubling you? were you in danger? this worried leader bear would not stop worried leadering, he can’t help it, it’s in his nature to be concerned about you. however when you said you just found it a bit hard to sleep and wanted to hear his voice, he softened (a just a bit though he’s still nag you a bit but it was all out of love). jinwoo would then spend the rest of the call’s duration talking softly about his day and things he’s been interested in lately. and maybe MAYBE sing a short lullaby for you really really quietly (so quiet you’d think he’s whispering). in between all his sweet actions he never fails to tell you he loves you and that he’s so extremely proud of you no matter what you do. he wouldn’t end the call until you’ve been silent for 20 minutes and hears your heavy breathing from the other side of the line.

“you want me to sing for you? really bubs, is there anything else- okay, okay, but only because i love you so much my beautiful amazing y/n. if you ever feel like this again please call me, i don’t care what time, your wellbeing is my number one priority”

(i’m blushing oml i love jinwoo so much ;-;)

| k i m m y u n g j u n

when it comes to you he would be all bright n’ smiley, no matter how tired he actually was. you knew he had musical promotions coming up which is why you wanted to avoid calling him during the later hours of the day as much as possible. but you should know myungjun is always up to talk to you no matter the time place or day: you’re his love why wouldn’t he? when he answered your call he tried to mask the tiredness in his voice by speaking in a chirpier tone than usual, you laughed at his attempt and said you were going to end the call to let him rest. myungjun of course would never let you have the final say so he started to whine until you gave in and continued to talk to him. then he insisted you guys face timed his excuse being “if i don’t see your face i am physically unable to go to sleep” complete bullshit, but that’s what you love about him. when you answered his face time request he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. you’d guys would be on call for about an hour telling shitty jokes, blowing raspberries at the screen and talking about places you’d like to visit when you’re both less busy. myungjun only agreed to end the call when both of you struggled intensely to keep your eyes open.

“oooo, look at you my perfect baby!! you’re so good looking you know that? you take my breathe away every single day, i can’t believe you’ve deprived me from seeing your face for this long”

“it’s too late for this myungjun...”

“no matter the time i will shower you with the compliments you deserve jagi!”

| c h a e u n w o o

good chances are he’s awake and can’t seem to sleep, not being able to clear his head to the point of exhaustion. eunwoo was fully prepared to spend the rest of the night awake. maybe he could do something more useful with his time and catch a nap on set later in the day. kicking off his covers, he was planning to get out of bed but then he got your call. out of all the members i feel eunwoo would be the happiest to get a call from you at this time of night (all of the members wouldn’t really mind but eunwoo would love getting calls like this, it made him feel liked you needed him). when he picked up and there was no hint of sleepiness in his tone you got worried. for the first few minutes all the call was you two sweetly bickering. “why are you still awake-” “well why are you?” “you called me first” “well if you were fast asleep you wouldn’t pick up” and more cute shit like that. talking to you at times like this would bring him so much strength and he really treasures it. something about your silly sleep deprived conversations feels so intimate to him and it sets his heart alight. when he can tell you’re drifting off, he makes sure to tell you he loves you once more before trying to get some sleep himself. the sounds of you soft half-awake sighs would lull him into a deep sleep and you would only notice he never ended the call when you wake up to your phone’s battery being on 3% and the sound of a snoring eunwoo.

“i’ve noticed i don’t sleep as well without you in my arms. i miss your sleepy voice, it’s like a lullaby to me. when i see next you i’m never letting you leave my sight again.”

| m o o n b i n

is it just me or does anyone else think our binnie has a slight temper when he’s woken up from sleep. it wouldn’t last for long but he’ll be very cranky and frustratedly pouty if his alarm had gone off or one of the members started shouting in the dorm when he’s trying to have a lie in. he’d wouldn’t be any different when he heard his phone ringing from the bedside table. he was so tempted to fling that thing out the window. when it went off for the third time he answered the call clumsily almost missing the answer button. in a pissed sleepy voice he answered “what do you want?” you taken aback by your normally sweet boyfriend’s bluntness, whispered a quick apology before ending the call. moonbin felt so awful when he was realised it was you. the last thing this boy wants to do is hurt your feelings and he was angry at himself for denying you in a time of need (now we have a really frustrated pouty bin). he immediately called you back and apologised a lot (even after you said it was fine, his every other sentence was filled with sweet sorry’s and kissy noises just to make sure you don’t hate him) moonbin would calmly ask why you called and got a bit worried when you said you couldn’t sleep. bin would scold you lightly for maybe staring at your screen for too long or not taking as many breaks as he thought you needed. but then again he would comfort you and ask if there’s anything you’d like to get off your chest. after letting you rant he gave his best advice and the most loving and encouraging words he could. you fell asleep to the sounds of his praise and bin couldn’t have felt better.

“baby i’m so so sorry, you know i would never deny you like that on purpose, please don’t be hurt. you’re worth so much to me, i couldn’t bare for you to be upset with me. you know how much i care about you love, right?” *ensue more pouty and whiny bin waffle*

(why this so long and i’m not even binnie biased -_-)

| p a r k m i n h y u k

minhyuk would be wide awake when you call him. he feels like one of those people who finds it really relaxing to go on runs in the early morning, watching the sunrise by the river; seeing streets around him get busier as the city starts waking up. he would be in his kitchen filling up his water bottle, hearing his phone ring from the island behind him. his eyes glanced at the contact name and he smiled. minhyuk answered your call like he would answer any other, failing to realise that it was going on 4am and you had things to do in the next few hours. after hearing that you couldn’t sleep he would chuckle and joke around “what’s the thing keeping my y/n from sleeping? tell me and i’ll beat the shit out of the thing ” (not lying he would punch the air around you if you said it was bothering you, he really is that whipped). i don’t think the conversation would hold anything in particular. it would just be mindless small talk and random thoughts as rocky is getting himself ready for his run. it would be so light hearted and sweet, this is what most of your relationship is like and why you love minhyuk so much. everything is so chill and thoughtless with him, you match each other so well. you could say something and nine times out of ten he is thinking the same thing. after sometime he would say he had to end the call because if not he’d miss the sunrise. you complained playfully that he was choosing the sun over you and minhyuk found it funny; promising to make it up to you in one way or another. but you didn’t expect to be woken up by the clattering of pans and cups caused by your clumsy boyfriend, in your kitchen trying to make you breakfast.

“ahh don’t worry y/n, i would never need the sun when i have you with me. you make me so happy you’re like my own personal sunshine. try and get some rest and you’ll wake up to pictures of the sunrise that reminds me so much of you.”

| y o o n s a n a h

out of all six members, he would be the only one not to pick up. sanah obviously wouldn’t do it on purpose, he loves you way too much to ignore you like that. he probably left his phone to charge in another room or in a more likely scenario poor bubs was just so tired he couldn’t wake up. even if you threw water on him our maknae wouldn’t budge. so when you called, his phone was just vibrating on the table untouched. after the fifth go you just stopped trying to reach him and started up at your celling hoping tiredness would reach you soon. in the morning when sanah checked his phone and saw all your missed calls, colour drained from his face and he’d get so panicky that he’d almost drop his it. he called back immediately, flooding your exhausted state with so many questions it would make anyone lightheaded. when telling him you just wanted to hear his voice hoping it would help you sleep, he replied with “did you end up getting any sleep then?” and when all he was met with was silence from your end, his heart dropped. he was so angry at himself and would never let it go that he was the reason you didn’t sleep (he wasn’t but trust me for the next week he’d go to bed with his phone right behind his ear). sanah would tell you to get your laptop ready with a show you’d been meaning to watch because he was coming over for a nap n’ movie date. when you tried to object because you had things to do that day he told you no but’s and he’d cancel work/school/your meet up with friends for you. in no time he showed up at your door in his pyjamas with two plastic bags, filled with extra blankets and your favourite sweet and savoury snacks.

“what do you mean you didn’t get any sleep and did some work instead? sweetcheeks you know that’s horrible for your health, i can’t have you being sick, it would break me knowing i was the reason. you know what? get your netflix account up i’m coming over- no excuses, i’ll handle everything else, now go get ready to be attack with my love.”

(the sweetest >:( i cry)

if you reached the end thank you so so much for reading. if this comforted you even just a bit i’m so glad <3 ily u all ~~

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yurimother · 4 years

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LGBTQ Game Review - A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986

Before diving into the meat of Oracle and Bone’s A Summer’s End, I want to talk about the women behind this game Tida Kietsungden, and Charissa So. So and Kietsungden have done nothing but impress me since the announcement of A Summer’s End. They have repeatedly demonstrated their immense effort and dedication to creating a beautiful and thoughtful experience. Through conversations with the studio and reading their blog entries, I gained a remarkable understanding of how this game is both a tribute to classic cinema and a love letter to the Yuri and LGBT community. Through careful research and thoughtful expression, the two women navigate and acknowledge complicated issues, including Asian LGBTQ history and Hong Kong’s delicate political situation with grace and maturity. I am in complete awe of both women and their work. However, regardless of my profound respect for these creators, I still endeavor to offer my unfiltered thoughts on the visual novel, giving praise and criticism where appropriate.

A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986 is a Yuri visual novel set, as you may have figured out, in Hong Kong in the year 1986. The game follows a young office worker, Michelle (Fong Ha) Cheung, who has a chance encounter with a free-spirited woman named Sam (Ka Yan) Wong. Both women feel drawn to each other, and the game explores this mutual attraction and the budding relationship which emerges from it.

This plot follows the standard girl meets girl story that has permeated the Yuri genre for the past several decades. Like most Yuri stories, the older and more experienced woman, Sam, is rebellious and beautiful, with long dark hair and a dominating persona. Michelle, although far more naive in the ways of love, breaks the trend of this trope by being the more sullen of the two. I would have liked to see the game diverge a bit more from the standard story of the genre. Fortunately, A Summer’s End is a romance story between adults who do not work together, setting it apart from the norms. It even includes a coming out section that creates a more robust LGBT identity than any tale of temporary schoolgirl love.

The story is well put together and well presented. The story is told primarily from Michelle’s perspective. It mostly takes place over a few days, during which Michelle engages in a whirlwind romance with Sam. This story features the struggle between her feelings and passion and her devotion to tradition and her mother. The progression of her affection is unrealistically fast. The story feels a bit rushed, and many of the societal and personal quagmires the game stumbles upon are not sufficiently developed or confronted. Had the game indulged in a more prolonged and tumultuous struggle for Michelle, conclusions would have felt much sweeter, and the story would have gone from good to great.

Even with this massive missed opportunity, there are plenty of exemplary moments and aspects of the narrative. The game pulls no punches addressing Michelle’s slightly overbearing mother and the conflict between the two. It would have been incredibly simple to take the easy route on this one. Still, the developers stuck to their guns and manage to explore a challenging situation satisfyingly, all while keeping the characters realistic and sympathetic. In fact, every scene relating to LGBT rights and history is flawlessly executed.

There are also some fantastic chapters, including a thrilling but refreshing bike ride and a flashback scene that recontextualizes certain events from another perspective. The many references and allusions to classic cinema including some older lesbian films and plenty of Asian works, are particularly noteworthy. However, the best part of A Summer’s End by far is the setting.

The location and time period is intrinsic to Sam and Michelle’s tale, as it is shaped by and reflects contemporary culture and LGBTQ rights. Oracle and Bone create a vibrant and lively world, a jaw-dropping depiction of Hong Kong in the 1980s. Everything helps feed into the creation of this world, including a fantastic and retro UI, small touches such as a Cantonese subway announcement, and objects encountered like a disposable camera help convey a strong sense of the period. However, the soundtrack sells it more than any other element, save perhaps the artwork, transporting the player to the era. While a few tracks are the standard easy listening affairs one expects from visual novels, there are tons of excellent city pop and disco beats, complete with plenty of synths and confidence! Finally, a visual novel soundtrack that contributes more than just background noise!

Sadly, the game’s dialogue choice system and branching paths are far more of a hindrance than a help. I can honestly say that the game would play better and be way more enjoyable as a kinetic novel. Most choices feel inconsequential, changing nothing of the story and resulting in almost the exact same response from other characters yet, they have a hidden points system. If you do not earn enough points, parts of the optional adult content will be unplayable until one goes back to find the right choice. I spent several hours replaying, and eventually skipping through, the game to unlock all the scenes, and finally gave up with one CG left unseen. The only choice with any actual effect is painfully evident in its consequences. One option leads to the bad ending, which is well written, but no reasonable player would go down that path unless they just wanted to see the whole game. The second unveils the true good ending, which no player in their right mind would not pursue, as again, the choice is obvious and adds nothing to the game. There is no reason to put in an alternative ending or tedious dialogue choice.

The characters in A Summer’s End are well constructed. Sam is adventurous without being obnoxious and has a mature though appropriately unrefined demeanor. Michelle is extremely curt and somewhat distant, although she displays a sharp wit and more timid nature on occasion. Both women participate in engaging, deep, and thoughtful discussions, often with each other, although sometimes internally, and thus feel well developed and complex. Unfortunately, their chemistry, while not absent, is not enough to sell the whirlwind romance. There is insufficient expression of their feelings and attractions, both internally or through dialogue and actions, so their inevitable closeness feels unearned.

However, even in the short game, both characters change with each other, especially Michelle, as she becomes more affectionate, confident, and caring. She begins to embody some of Sam’s warmness while never losing herself. Some of my favorite dialogue and interaction came from her towards the end of the game, although I will not spoil it. Additionally, side characters have a strong presence thanks to their firmly established characteristics and a profound effect on the narrative. Each has their own sprite and mannerisms, helping cement them as fixtures in A Summer’s End rather than tacked on assets.

The visual novel contains optional adult content, which is installed in an extra patch and can be toggled on and off. I played through the game with and without it and can happily report that the story is just as fulfilling and complete without it. Although the unlockable nature of these scenes is aggravating, they are very well written and sensual without being exploitative. There were moments I did not care for as much, such as Sam getting carried away at one point, but it felt very realistic and incredibly sensual. The artwork in these sexual encounters is some of the best in the game, embracing darker colors and showcasing intense desire.

Speaking of the artwork, it is stupendous. The game is bright and striking, with amazing backgrounds complete with luminous neon signs, glaring televisions, and life and activity oozing from every corner. The backgrounds are so beautiful and detailed they could effectively serve in place of CG art, although there is plenty of that asides. The character models and designs are similarly excellent, with expressive poses and faces. The various outfits, of which the game has many, embody iconic 80’s fashion. Artist Tida Kietsungden draws both the characters and CGs with a distinctive hand-drawn style, which allows them to play well off each other and add to the beautiful presentation. The detail and care that went into the aesthetics are enormous and elevate the game at every moment.

A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986 is a vibrant and intimate experience. The fantastic setting and flawless artwork surround a compelling and thoughtful story about lesbian love and desire, societal expectations, and the bonds between family and lovers. It is rough around the edges, with a slightly rushed story that leaves little time to wallow in complexity and an awful dialogue system. However, it will win players over with its striking presentation and sophisticated subject matter. I look forward to more from this studio and highly recommend you check this game out!

Ratings: Story – 7 Characters – 6 Art – 10 Music – 8 LGBTQ – 8 Sexual Content – 3 (8 with patch) Final – 7

Purchase A Summer’s End on Steam and itch.io, available April 23

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