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sugawhaaa · 10 months

Text

JUNGSU X READER

Karma tastes so sweet

🍫PAIRING:: switch!Jungsu x switch!fem!reader (other members are present but are only around for a few seconds)

🍬WARNINGS:: smut (I think this is officially my nastiest fanfic 😭)

🌸GENRE:: smut, blow job, oral, (Face sitting???) Lots of cum idk

💫WORD COUNT:: 2,323 (so satisfying sjsjsj)

A/N:: so tomorrow is my birthday and as I was writing this I was like I need there to be reason for Jungsu to stay home and my totally big brain went "let's pretend tomorrow is your birthday in this." And boom there u have it folks. Fanfic tip 101

SONGS TO LISTEN TO WHILE READING

Gunil POV

"Why am I doing this again?" Gunil groaned to himself as he found the perfect chocolate. He had been looking for a chocolate laced with an aphrodisiac. Why did he want it? No one really knows except for the fact he has a girlfriend that he's been getting comfortable with lately but he had never thought his worst fear would become a reality.

He ordered a box of 6 aphrodisiac chocolates from a rather sketchy website and it said that they'd arrive in a week. He relaxed knowing that it was going to arrive on a Saturday so he'd be home all day to make sure no one else got a hold of his precious chocolate.

Your POV

There was a knock on the door and Jungsu got up to answer it. Jungsu requested that he take the next two days off of work and the company had no reason to say no. Today is your dating anniversary and tomorrow was your birthday so you had an excuse. Today the two of you were simply hanging out and cuddling, watching movies, baking etc

You were going to the door before Jungsu stopped you.

"It might be a surprise for your birthday!" He said cheekily so you waited for him in the kitchen. Jungsu returned with a cardboard box in his hand. It was the average size but whatever was in it was small because any slight movement in the box made a loud clunk noise. "I have no idea what this is," he shrugged as he set it on the table in front of the couch you were sitting on. "But it is addressed to us." Jungsu said, sitting next to you.

"None of the members said anything about ordering anything?" You shrugged your shoulders as Jungsu set the box on his lap. You looked up at him with a smirk "you gonna open it?" You said as nudged his arm.

"You know me too well. Even if it's a gift for you tomorrow is your birthday anyway," he said as he tore the cardboard open to reveal a small red and pink box. On it there was a label that said "velvet pleasure" with fancy cursive writing. Based on the box itself it was something sexy. Maybe a sex toy? But it was so small…

Jungsu's face started heating up and you could see it as clear as day. "This yours?" You teased him.

"No!" He freaked out before picking the box up to examine it.

"Then why is your face so red?" You said leaning closer to him.

"Because this is most likely one of the members' packages and we just opened it! And I mean look at it," he blushed and looked away from you. You took the box from his hands to read it.

"Damn it, it's written in Chinese…" there were directions on it but it was all in Chinese.

"Maybe there's a paper inside that has other languages?" Jungsu said as he leaned in to look at the box in your hands. You opened it up and found chocolate. "Oh." You said in unison at the harmless product. Jungsu picked one up to examine it. It was brown with milk chocolate stripes around it. He popped it in his mouth and critiqued it as he ate it before shrugging. "Tastes fine to me," with that Jungsu grabbed a heart shaped one and took a bite. Pink jell dripped out of it. His eyes lit up as he held up for you to see. You gave him a surprised look before he ate the second half.

You gave him a questioning look before he shrugged again. "I'm not dead, I don't know why you're so worried."

"I just think it might be something else…" You mumbled before he stood up. He put the chocolate in the cupboard before going back to the couch with you. You observed him closely but half an hour passed and he had no side effects. You decided to relax a bit and continue to enjoy your time alone with Jungsu. After about an hour since he took the chocolate he started moving around a lot. Like he couldn't get comfortable? You asked if he was alright and he insisted that he was perfectly all right. You were suspicious but you decided to let him be.

His face was all red, he was coughing and clearing his throat constantly, he shifted positions 24/7 so you finally spoke up again. You paused the movie you were watching and turned to face him. "What is up with you, your acting so weird." You exclaimed.

"You were that chocolate is fucked up!" He whined as he dramatically flopped his head onto your thighs.

"W-what?" You said slightly scared at his strange behavior.

"Ever since I ate those chocolates I've been so hard," he whined into your lap as you placed your hand on his back. You shook your head with a sigh.

"I knew it was an aphrodisiac…"

"A what?"

"Aphrodisiac. It's essentially a type of food that makes you horny and extenuates pleasure and sensitivity." You explained as he whined quietly. "If we don't do anything about this you're going to feel horrible," you explained as you propped him up against the couch. He looked up at you with doe eyes just begging for your touch and it melted your heart. You sighed and shook your head again "what am I going to do with you?"

"Hopefully fuck me." Jungsu said with a smirk.

"Horny and still cocky," you said as you spread his legs for you to sit on like your throne. Just the feeling of your weight and warmth on his legs made him shiver. You took off your cardigan "What should I do first?" You thought to yourself aloud like he was your fuck doll. Jungsu just whimpered as he clawed at your hips.

"Touch me please." He whined aimlessly trying to get you to sit on his dick.

"Fine since you said please," you smirked as you instantly stripped him. Taking a moment to look at his body that was just begging for your touch. You then went down on your knees and licked all up his length. Make him moan deep and loud before he covers his mouth. You hardly even touched him and he's already a mess. This aphrodisiac really works…

He teased his tip, small little cat licks, and he was just a mess. Rocking his head back and forth on the cushions of the couch as his back arched. It was quite the sight. You decided to wrap your mouth around him but only going so far up.

"Fuck. Please~" he mumbled as he messed with his dark hair. Grasping it like his life depends on it. You slowly moved your mouth all the way up his cock and you alright felt his orgasm building in your mouth. He distortedly moaned out your name, curse words and words of desire.

"I wanna cum, please, please," he'd whine out repeatedly and you didn't plan on stopping him. As you felt his high coming closer you used one of your hands to play with his base, his entire cock couldn't fit in your mouth so you resulted in your hands and he definitely liked it. Loud moans came from his throat. Loud, raspy, deep, long, slow everything. He was a wreck for you and to no one's surprise he came all down your throat. A lot.

This aphrodisiac had a powerful effect on him not only mentally but clearly physically.

Despite him filling your mouth to the brim you kept bobbing your head up and down him. You then slipped your lips off his soaked dick to swallow his cum. As you felt the warm liquid go down your throat, Jungsu whined for your mouth around him again.

So you did just as he asked. Shoving his entire length in your mouth making you choke lightly. Before you started moving. Jungsu was a mess of words. He couldn't get two words out without praising you.

"So good-fuck, fuck!" He moaned out as used your free hand to rub his thigh. "More, more, more, more please~" he said faster than you could process but after registering his pleads you picked up the pace. Your mouth moving at a rapid pace as your tongue swirled around him. Surprisingly he came again, and perhaps even more than the last time.

You thought it was impossible but there was more arousal in your mouth than ever before. You choked on it and it dripped out of your mouth. You took his cock out of your mouth and he watched as strings of cum connected your mouth to his cock.

Long raspy groans escaped his lips as you attempted to swallow everything but mid way through you coughed and spat it out.

"You okay?" He said with a breathy voice as he knelt down to you. You nodded your head as you whipped some of the arousal off your lips and chin but it only spread it to your hands. "Are you sure?" He said putting his hand up to your cheek trying to wipe off more of his arousal.

"I'm positive. I never knew you could cum so much and moan so loud," you chuckled as you teased him. Jungsu stammered as his face turned more red. "It was hot." You said as you climbed up to sit on his lap.

"You were too…" he said as he turned his head away from your gaze.

"Awe are you shy because of how good I make you feel?" You teased while you held his chin, moving it to face you. You then kissed him as you pushed him down, his bare back against the couch. Your body's motions synchronized perfectly as you sloppily kissed him with passion. Your hands in his hair and on his chest, moans and whimpers echoed throughout the room.

"I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate," he whined as you moved to his neck. Sucking on his soft, tender skin. Soft little mewls came out of Jungsu's mouth as he rested his hands comfortably on your body while you put one hand around his neck, the other at his bare chest. His eyes shut tight as you licked him like a damn dog.

"Why do you regret it?" You uttered between licks, your hot breath sending shivers down his spine.

"I want you…" He whined, desperation in his voice.

"Well I'm right here, you do whatever you want to me." You said as you rocked your hips against his while your hands played with his hair. Low curses escaped his lips as his body tensed again. The sensation and friction made your stomach flip but this wasn't about you, your goal was to make Jungsu cum as much as possible.

"Sit on my face." He demanded out of nowhere.

"W-What?" You said clearly flustered at his request but the look in his eyes made you consider it. "I've never done that before…" you said as you shyly looked away while he stared up at you with admiration.

"Just sit, I'll do the rest," he said before grabbing your hips. You nodded and mumbled out an "okay" so you did just as he had said. You followed his hands and sat right on his lips. You kept some of your weight off him so he doesn't freaking suffocate but his hands kept pushing you down. Jungsu instantly started using his tongue to work miracles on you.

Your moans hitching as he circled your entrance, his stern hands massaging your hips. The vibration of his groans made you see stars, how is he so good at making you feel surreal pleasure? You started subconsciously grinding against his face as his tongue pressed against your clit. You covered your mouth with the palm of your hand as he sucked on your bud.

You then started to feel a knot forming in your lower stomach and you grabbed Jungsu's head to ground yourself. You blabbered out "I'm gonna cum," repeatedly to warn him so he picked up the pace. You tugged his hair to basically brace yourself before you came and started to relax. You realized that after he started sucking on you, all of your body weight was on his face. You got up off of him and immediately asked if he was okay.

"I'm more than okay now," he smirked with a little chuckle. You laughed a little as you laid on top of him.

"Did you really enjoy that?" You said as you examined his face that was covered in your liquid.

"Hell yeah," he said as he shut his eyes and laid his head back. While he was distracted you moved down his body slowly before stuffing his length into your mouth. It caught Jungsu off guard and he immediately moaned in a high pitched voice. He squabled around at the feeling on your tongue swirling around him and your hands on his hips. You started bobbing your head and the fast distorted whimpers from Jungsu made you go faster in hope of being rewarded with more blissful sounds. His response to your actions was to arch his back and moan. Loud. It probably echoed throughout the dorms.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck~" he moaned out as he grabbed the cushions harshly. "Oh my God, oh my-fuck- I'm gonna cum~"

To none of your surprise he came again, all over your face and on the couch. As you were cleaning up his mess with your tongue you saw Jungsu open his eyes and his jaw drop. Pure terror on his face. You sat up and turned around to see Jooyeon, Gaon and Junhan. Just as petrified as Jungsu. Junhan just walked right back out of the room while Gaon and Jooyeon just flipped out saying "What the HELL-"

The end :D

145 notes · View notes

ro-is-struggling · 2 years

Note

Hi!!!!!! How are you!!!!??? Today I found your blog and I really loved it 😍😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ can I request a Bucky x Fem!Reader oneshot?? This idea came to mind because of a dream 😂🙈

Bucky never liked the reader because she "worked" for HYDRA, making everyone hate her in turn, except for Tony, Sam and Clint. On a complicated mission, Bucky is mortally wounded and the Reader is blamed on the Quinjet, to which she decides to use her power, transferring her crush's wounds into her body in order to save him. Steve refuses to let her touch his friend but relents when she tells him her own story in HYDRA and how she was tortured, and asks for someone to keep her hands steady, no matter how much she asks for the pain and sensation to stop, because if she removed them both she and he could die. Bucky, waking up seconds after her powers worked out, sees the reader fall into Sam's arms and how he carries her in his arms to the medical wing once they arrive back at the tower and feels bad that he made her suffer like that when he learns that she was also an experiment like him.

Happy ending with lot of fluff?? Hahahahahaha

Thank you so much love 🙈❤️ lot of kisses from Argentina 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

hermana mira donde vengo a encontrar a otra argentina sjsjsj

I loved your request so much! sorry it took me so long to post it, I wanted to get it right bc it was a really interesting idea and I wanted to do it justice

Enemies || Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Bucky don't get along. He hates you from the moment he found out you used to work for Hydra and has no problem showing it. Until one day after an accident on a mission he discovers the truth about your past and realizes that you two aren't so different after all.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, enemies to friends, Bucky and Steve are mean to the reader, mentions of past trauma (the reader was experimented on and tortured by Hydra kinda like Bucky), reader has powers that allow her to transfer people’s wounds on her own body and heal them using her own vital force, fluff (Bucky it’s a sweetheart in the end)

Word count: 5000+

English is not my first language

You knew your day was going to suck from the moment you heard Steve pair you up with Bucky to guard the west entrance to the Hydra base you were about to storm. You and Bucky didn't get along. In fact, you didn't get along with most of the Avengers. The other superheroes tended to keep a certain distance from you, whispering under their breath whenever they saw you passing through the halls of Avengers Tower. Being a former Hydra agent had that effect on people.

Usually that didn't bother you. They didn't know the whole story and you'd rather they didn't, so you put up with the rude treatment by taking refuge in the support of Tony, Sam and Clint. They were the only ones who knew your whole story and were responsible for you becoming part of the Avengers in the first place, so their support and friendship was the only thing that mattered to you. Having them around helped you endure the suspicious looks and whispers behind your back. At least for the most part that was the case, because when Steve and Bucky were involved there was nothing that could improve your mood.

There was something about the way they looked at you that made your blood boil. They hated you—especially Bucky— and they made no effort to hide it. They didn't want you on the Avengers and you were pretty sure the only reason Steve had accepted you was because Sam had insisted you were a good addition to the team. You honestly didn't blame them for not trusting you. They didn't know you and you didn't try very hard to please them either. You didn't need their friendship, you just wanted them to stop treating you with such contempt. Something that apparently was impossible.

"Stop staring at me." You muttered in annoyance as you walked into Hydra's base with your pistol in hand.

"I'm not staring at you." Bucky spoke behind your back, using that dismissive tone he always used with you.

"I can feel your eyes burning in the back of my neck, you're not that subtle" you replied rolling your eyes. "Just for once could you do your job without being fucking annoying?"

"I am doing my job."

"I mean the actual mission, not the side babysitting mission that Steve put you up to." You complained, turning to look at him. You had heard them talking after Steve announced the teams. The quinjet wasn't that big and Bucky wasn't as quiet as he thought he was when he was upset. He had complained to his friend about putting them together and Steve explained that he wanted him to keep an eye on you. Since then you hadn't stopped feeling Bucky's eyes on your figure. "I know you don't trust me and you think I'm going to betray you or something but I'm not. I don't know how much information about Hydra I have to give you to make you understand that I'm on your side."

"Yeah, we'll see about that." Bucky whispered, pushing past you without even looking at you.

"Unbelievable" you grumbled under your breath, rolling your eyes.

You walked behind him in silence for the rest of the time, concentrating on the mission you had to complete. Steve had sent you to secure the perimeter of the west side of the Hydra base. You had to eliminate all the guards without alerting anyone and then wait at the side entrance for further instructions. You had to be quick and quiet so as not to be discovered, so you and Bucky opted to use your bare hands to take out the guards. A couple of blows to the head, a few minutes blocking their airway, and just like that they fell unconscious to the ground without even knowing what had attacked them. Staying hidden and moving stealthily probably ended up taking more time than the task of eliminating the guards itself. Bucky was easy to work with when he kept his mouth shut and his attention focused on something other than his hatred for you.

"We're in position, Captain" you whispered into your earpiece to let Steve and the rest of the team know that you and Bucky were ready to proceed.

"Copy that, Y/N" you heard Steve's voice in your ear. "Hold your position and wait for my signal."

"Copy that."

You overheard Steve ask the rest of the team for a status report. Clint and Natasha had been delayed by a couple of guards who managed to spot them before they could take care of them, though it was nothing that put the mission at risk. You waited patiently for everyone to get to their positions, trying your best to ignore the awkward tension between you and Bucky. He had stopped fixing his intense gaze on you, but the sidelong glances he gave you from time to time weren't much better.

"Okay, everybody is in position" Steve's voice echoed in your ear again. "Remember, we're here for information. We get in and attack from every angle to confuse them. We take what we need and we leave." He continued to give a brief encouraging speech about why you were doing what you were doing, but you didn't need those pretty words. You didn't even need an excuse to attack Hydra, your personal experience was reason enough to want to burn every base to the ground. Taking them down was your life's mission and the only reason you had agreed to join the Avengers.

The plan was simple. Each duo would attack from a different point to confuse the Hydra agents and throw the guards off balance. Your job was to keep the enemy's attention on you so that Steve and Sam could obtain the organization's records. You had drawn them a map based on vague memories you had of the times you had been there before. If nothing had changed since your last visit, Steve and Sam had a safe way to the office of the man who acted as the boss at that base, where all the records of Hydra's activities were kept. Those files were key to defeating Hydra once and for all, so you were willing to give your life to make sure Steve got them.

When Steve gave the signal, you and Bucky entered the building with guns blazing. There were many armed guards inside, but they were no match for your perfect aim. The sound of gunfire—both near and far away from you— and the screams of Hydra agents was all you could hear as you advanced upon the enemy. Being back in that place brought back horrible memories, but you didn't let that distract you. You buried the resentment and anguish you felt deep inside, focusing all your attention on the mission. Giving Steve time to get the confidential information about Hydra was your number one priority.

"How much longer?" You heard Natasha's voice in your ear. "I'm running out of bullets here, Steve."

"Almost done," replied the Captain in an agitated voice. It was obvious that he was in the middle of a fight.

The area where you and Bucky found yourselves was mostly under control. A couple of guards appeared from time to time to try to stop you, but they all failed miserably. So you emerged from your hideout with your gun raised and headed for the corridor that would lead you to Natasha.

"Where are you going?" Bucky stopped you by grabbing your shoulder and turning you to look at him.

"Natasha needs help. You can take care of this alone" you explained as if it were obvious. "If you get in trouble just call me and I'll come back."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere alone." Bucky gave you one of his warning looks. Normally he managed to intimidate you when his eyes were fixed on you with such intensity, but today things were different. You had so many feelings swirling inside you that you weren't able to care about him.

"Oh my god! We don't have time for this" you exclaimed, rolling your eyes. "Natasha needs help. If you don't want me running around this place alone then you go help her!"

"I'm not gonna leave you alone here. Natasha has a partner and she can take care of herself."

"This is bullshit! How many times do I have to tell you I'm not with them?" You spoke, raising your voice higher than necessary, noticeably angry at Bucky."I'm not going to disappear to go help them or betray you in any way. I led you all here! I want Hydra gone as much as you do."

"Well, I don't know that. I don't trust you so you are not leaving my sight." Bucky's voice was determined, the features on his face rigid as stone staring at you with a perpetual frown. You opened your mouth to complain. You wanted to yell at him to go to hell and continue on your way to help Natasha, but the sound of a gunshot ringing in your ears distracted you.

Everything happened so fast. One second Bucky was giving you one of his murderous looks and the next he was on the floor with blood soaking his abdomen. You didn't have time to think, ducking for cover as you scanned the room with your eyes for the one responsible. You found him hiding behind an adjacent door that up until that moment you thought was locked, and put a bullet in his head before he could alert his friends.

"Bucky, oh my god! Are you okay?" You mumbled in horror as you pressed your trembling hands over his wound. "Please stay with me."

"Guys I got it. Get the hell out from there" Steve's voice exclaimed in your ear.

"I-I need back up" you mumbled into your earpiece. "Bucky has been shot. He's losing a lot of blood."

There was a silent pause that felt like an eternity before Steve replied that he was on his way. He sounded concerned, but at the time it didn't occur to you to think about how angry he would be at you for letting something happen to his friend. That thought only popped into your mind when you noticed the stiffness in his expression as he looked at you.

"What happened here?" He asked you in a cold tone, kneeling down next to Bucky, who was struggling to maintain consciousness.

"We were... I-I don't know. Some guy came out of nowhere and shot him... I couldn't do anything." You tried to explain despite your nerves. Steve removed your hands from his friend's wound and helped him up, putting Bucky's arm around his shoulders so he could carry him.

"I'm sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have left you with her." You heard him mutter as he walked away. You stood there not knowing how to react, until you felt someone put a hand on your shoulder.

"I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..." When you looked up, you saw Sam's face, who was looking at you with compassion.

"It's okay. Bucky is strong, he's gonna make it" he assured you in a soft voice. You nodded at his words without even fully processing what he had said and followed his lead, walking next to him to get out of that place.

When you arrived at the quinjet the rest of the team was waiting for you. As soon as you and Sam entered the doors closed and Tony, who was sitting in the pilot's seat, took it upon himself to get you back to the tower as quickly as possible. Your eyes searched for Bucky among the group of superheroes, and found him lying in a corner with Steve at his side. He was keeping pressure on his friend's wound while talking to him to keep him from losing consciousness. Bucky answered him in a weak, slurred voice, whispering his answers with difficulty.

You tried to stay away from them. You were worried about Bucky but you knew that both he and Steve hated you so you thought it was best not to intervene. At least that was until you noticed how pale Bucky was getting. He was losing a lot of blood and his voice sounded more and more muffled until eventually he stopped responding.

"How much longer?" Steve asked Tony, who told him that it was still about 30 minutes before they got to the tower.

"Let me help him" you finally said, approaching Steve with hesitation. You knew it was probably a bad idea, but you couldn't let Bucky die.

He glared at you for a moment before returning his attention to his friend, who was struggling to breathe. "Don't you think you have done enough already?" Steve's words hurt you even though you expected them. You knew he didn't like you and you were more than sure he would blame you for what had happened to his friend, but it still hurt to see the contempt in his eyes. Because part of you knew you deserved it.

"I can help him." You insisted, swallowing your feelings. "Your friend doesn't have 30 minutes. Just look at him!" Steve stood still without taking his eyes off Bucky. For a moment you thought he was ignoring you. It made sense, given how much he hated you. But Bucky didn’t have time for any of this. So when you spoke again you made sure to say something that would make him see reason. "Let me help him. Let me use this curse that Hydra put on me for something good for once. At least that way all the torture and experimentation I went through will be worth something."

Steve raised his head to look at you with a much softer expression than before. There was a mixture of confusion, surprise and pity in his eyes. And as much as you hated the look of distrust he used to give you, you hated seeing the pity in his eyes even more. Now that he understood the implications behind your words, Steve looked at you the same way everyone who knew your past did. As if you were broken inside and incapable of being restored. And maybe you were, but that was nobody's business. You didn't need anyone's pity.

Without a word, Steve moved from his spot to give you space. You knelt beside Bucky, analyzing his wound before doing anything. The bullet had pierced him cleanly, leaving a clear entry and exit hole, but you had no way of knowing if it had damaged any vital organs along the way. Blood continued to pour from the wound, although in smaller quantities than before. It was not going to be an easy task to heal him, but you believed you could help him. Although for that you would need assistance.

"I need to stay still while I do this. My hands need to be steady and firm over his wounds at all times otherwise we could both get really hurt." You explained as you rolled up your sleeves so that nothing could get between your hands and Bucky's body. Immediately Sam and Clint appeared at your side, asking what they could do to help. You told them to hold your wrists firmly over Bucky's wound and they complied with your instructions, kneeling one on each side of you. "Do not let me take my hands away from him. It's going to hurt me, I'm gonna scream and I'll probably pass out, but that's okay. Do not let me move until his wounds are gone." The men nodded as you looked at them, giving you the reassurance you needed to get started.

Letting out a deep sigh, you closed your eyes and focused all your attention on Bucky. In a matter of seconds you began to feel a tingling sensation running through your body and your hands became slightly warmer. It was something that happened every time you used your powers. You guessed it was your body's way of letting you know when you used them. Then you felt a sharp pain stabbing into your abdomen like a knife, right at the same level where Bucky's wound was. The pain increased with each passing second until it became unbearable, but you didn't let that distract you. Transferring Bucky's wounds and his pain to your own body was the only way to save him. You would heal him through your powers, restoring his health by giving him some of your own life force. It was the only way for him to survive after the amount of blood he had lost, so you continued even though every fiber of your body was screaming for you to stop.

Your whimpers of pain echoed throughout the quinjet which was dead silent as everyone watched you work. Sam and Clint fought against the spasms of your body to hold you steady in your position. They hated to see you writhing in pain, but they knew it was necessary. Soon your whimpers turned into howls of suffering. Until suddenly they stopped. The muscles in your whole body relaxed and you fell unconscious on Sam's chest, who took you in his arms protectively. Everyone's attention was focused on you for a few minutes, making sure you were still alive. Your breathing was weak, as was your pulse, but luckily you were already approaching the tower.

Tony landed the quinjet on the runway, where the medical team was already waiting for them. When the doors opened, Sam carried your unconscious body in his arms, hurrying to take you to the medical wing. That image was the first thing Bucky saw when he opened his eyes.

"What happened?" Bucky muttered in confusion. His head was spinning and he felt so weak that Steve had to help him up.

"You were shot. Y/N saved you" Steve explained, still surprised by what he had just witnessed.

"What?"

"I think we were wrong about her."

Bucky felt terrible. Sam, Clin and Tony had explained to him your history with Hydra—how they had experimented on you to develop your powers, how they had tortured you and forced you to work for them until you managed to escape. They didn't have all the details, only the things you had told them, but it was more than enough for him to realize the mistake he had made. As he listened to them talk about your past, he couldn't help but think how similar it sounded to his own story. The experimentation, the torture, the coercion, were all things he too had suffered under Hydra's control.

He should have known better. He should have recognized the pain in your eyes, the guilt and resentment that never quite went away. How could he not have noticed when he saw the same feelings reflected in his eyes every day when he looked in the mirror?

As he watched you sleep in the bed in the medical wing of the tower Bucky couldn't help but wonder why you had never told him the truth. Why had you let him treat you so badly? Why had you let him look at you with such disdain every chance he got? Why did you let everyone think that you had been a willing agent of Hydra? He was determined to find the answers to his questions. He wanted to know you better, to know your true story so he could understand you.

Bucky spent all his free time sitting by your side, waiting for you to wake up. You had been unconscious for two days and no one knew exactly when you would wake up. He, on the other hand, was in perfect condition thanks to you. When the doctors examined him upon arrival at the tower, they found nothing wrong with him. His vital signs were perfect and there was no trace of his bullet wound. He couldn't help but feel guilty that you had risked your life to save him even though he had been nothing but horrible to you.

"Bucky?" Your faint voice brought him out of his thoughts. When he looked up he discovered that you were looking at him with confusion. "What are you doing here?"

You didn't remember much of what had happened. Your mind was still a bit disoriented, confused after opening your eyes and finding yourself in a hospital room. The white light bothered your eyes and worsened the headache you felt. However, nothing was as strange and confusing as seeing Bucky sitting on the side of your bed. Especially since he wasn't looking at you with the hatred you always noticed in his eyes. He looked... Sad? Upset? You weren't sure, you just knew you had never seen that expression on his face.

"Welcome back! How are you feeling?" He ignored your question, speaking in a soft tone as he moved a little closer to you.

"Like I was hit by a truck" you answered honestly, letting out a laugh that turned into a groan of pain as you felt your head throb. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" You shook your head slightly. "You saved my life."

You contemplated Bucky's words for a moment, struggling to remember what had happened. Slowly the haze that haunted your memory dispersed, allowing the images of what happened on the quinjet to flash through your mind. You remembered Bucky's fading appearance, the pain in your abdomen, and Sam's arms around your body just before you lost consciousness.

"Oh" you muttered, not knowing what else to say. "How long was I out?"

"Two days. I was starting to get worried." You looked at Bucky with confusion as you heard him say that. He was worried about you? That was something new. Apparently saving his life was the way to gain his trust.

"Why are you here?" You didn't want to sound rude or aggressive. You were happy to have someone by your side at that moment to explain things that your confused and overwhelmed brain didn't understand. But you couldn't ignore the fact that Bucky was the last person you would expect to find by your side when you opened your eyes. He couldn't stand you, so why was he being so nice to you?

"I didn't want you to be alone when you woke up. I figured you were going to be confused." He explained, embarrassment evident in his voice. Bucky knew it was odd that he suddenly showed such kindness to you, but he wanted to make things right. "And I, uumm, I wanted to thank you for saving me."

"Oh." You were surprised to hear genuine gratitude in his voice. "Don't mention it. I just did what anyone would have done in my place."

"See that's the thing. I don't know if I would have risked my life to save yours." Bucky admitted with shame, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. He was ashamed to admit that he had let the hatred he felt for Hydra—and by extension for you— cloud his judgment in that way. "All this time I thought you were..." He let out a sigh, not wanting to finish the sentence. "Why didn't you tell us about your past, about everything Hydra did to you?"

"What difference would have it made?" You shrugged, looking down at your hands fiddling with the edge of the sheet covering you. "They wouldn't have understood and would have looked at me with pity in their eyes... Feeling sorry for me and constantly reminding me of all the shit I went through."

"I would have understood." Bucky said, resting his hand on yours. You admired his gesture for a moment, reveling in the strange sense of security that the warmth of his hand awakened within you. When you looked up to face him you noticed that the gentle expression he was giving you was one you had never seen on his face before. You didn't even know Bucky was capable of looking at someone with such compassion. "You could have come to me. If you had talked to me about it, I wouldn't have been so hard on you."

"What makes you think I wanted you to be less hard on me?"

Bucky's heart broke when he heard you say that, recognizing in your words the same pain and guilt he still felt for his past at Hydra. You felt responsible for having helped them and that's why you had let everyone treat you like a monster. Because to you that's what you were. You didn't care that they had tortured you and forced you to work for them, to you the only thing that mattered was that you had helped them. And Bucky understood that feeling of guilt perfectly. He experienced it firsthand on a daily basis and it was something he would have to fight against until the day he died.

Accepting himself as a victim and not as the victimizer was not an easy task. It was a decision he made every day, something that had taken a lot of work. The support of Steve, Sam and the rest of the Avengers was what kept him afloat on his bad days, when guilt and anguish seemed to win the battle. But you didn't have that. All you had was his look of hatred that confirmed everything bad you thought about yourself. Bucky was sickened by the realization of the true extent of the damage he had been causing you all this time.

"It wasn't your fault, Y/N." Bucky tried to cheer you up, squeezing your hand in a supportive gesture. "You were tortured and forced to work for them."

"But I still did it." You replied with tears rolling down your cheeks. "I might not have pulled the trigger but the blood of all the people Hydra hurt is on my hands."

"Y/N, listen to me." Bucky spoke in a soft voice, leaning toward you and wiping away your tears with his thumb. "You are not what they made of you. The same way I'm not the Winter Soldier. I know it's hard to accept it, it took me a long time too, but it's the truth. You were forced to work for them but you escaped as soon as you had the chance. You spent all this time trying to beat them. That's who you are."

"How do you know that?" You sobbed. "You hated me two days ago."

"That's because I didn't know the truth. I didn't know what they had done to you. I just thought you were a Hydra agent that got pissed at them and switched sides to get revenge. But that's not true. That's not who you are and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like it was."

"You didn't know." You mumbled as you wiped your tears with the back of your hand.

"Yeah but I should have known better. I should have recognized the guilt in your eyes because I carry it inside me too. And I'm deeply sorry for making you feel even worse." Bucky looked honestly remorseful. You could see it in his eyes crystallized by the tears he was struggling to hold back, and you could hear it in his broken, soft voice.

He had a lump in his throat that made it hard to breathe. Talking to you had brought to the surface a lot of feelings he thought were buried. It was almost like talking to a past version of himself, the one who had let himself be brought down by guilt and pain. He had the opportunity to help you in a way that no one—not even Steve—had been able to help him because Bucky really understood what you were going through. He had lived through it and knew exactly what kind of thoughts were going through your head. He had the opportunity to use everything he had learned in his time free from the Winter Soldier to help you through this dark time in your life, and make sure you were never alone again.

"You want to know how I know who you really are?" Bucky said and you nodded even though you were pretty sure it was a rhetorical question."It's simple, you're me. We're the same, you and I. I know what you have been through and I can assure you that you are not what Hydra made of you."

Hearing Bucky say those things made you burst into tears once again. You didn't feel worthy of such words of encouragement, but you were glad to hear them anyway. It was exactly what you needed to hear at that moment. His words were like a gentle caress to your soul, one that your shattered spirit was grateful for and glad to receive.

"I know we are not the best of friends, but I want you to know that you don't have to go through this alone. You can trust me." Bucky said as he took your hands in his, giving them a squeeze."I would like to get to know you a little better, you know, be friends."

It was a bit surreal to hear Bucky saying those things to you and giving you warm smiles, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't find comfort in his words. He knew about your past, but when you looked into his eyes you didn't see pity reflected in them, not even as he wiped the tears from your cheeks. He looked at you with compassion, recognizing in you and in your story a part of him. He spoke to you from the experience of someone who had gone through something similar and had managed to come out alive from the cloud of darkness that guilt, anguish and resentment created in the mind. It was nice to hear him talk, it gave you hope for the future. If he had been able to get out of it then so could you.

"I'd really like that" you replied with a shy smile, looking forward to meeting the real Bucky.

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