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paraclete0407 · 3 years

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Going to give away all my story-ideas a la George Johnston’s ‘The Fire Sale’ since I feel as if Lucifer has been unleashed against me for the destruction of my flesh that I might learn not to blaspheme -

‘The Winners 2012′

With the prototype of my ‘Three Kings’ ultimate self-idea-hero, the Vice Principal or Ass’t Headmaster forced to play basketball, also something about a novel about violoncello and female self-satisfaction, inner life or pseudo-inner-life and my attack on Harvard people for their emetic unending self-celebration, which turned out to be a sort of Kim Jong Il three-day massacre-banquet + they really have a huge problem with alcohol, rape, at the same time they were right IMHO to be eating blueberries and protein-goop and so on sleeping 2hrs a night. Princeton students doing math in lucid dreams. I too would have but in retrospect I literally methinks I deduce that my bio-parents and Waqas my Paki roommate were trying to give me heart-failure in the cause of sociohistorical justice and/or ‘family tree’ hyper-narcissism. I was watching ‘Reply 1997′ and that song ‘Confession’ but I thought ‘I am gonna one day hang out with my friend again and drive through the NJ woods and it’ll all be alright b/c they are gonna have theirs and I am gonna have mine and in the end they will still be able to follow my lead and feel I was worthwhile.’ ‘Headmaster’s Wife’ something something Robert James Waller bidding for continued relevance after ‘Madison County’ but even in 2012 I just honestly wasn’t that fascinated with women or their hobbies at all. I like the Korean poem that says to look at your spouse’s brow, check homework, share food. Everyone wants a room of their own in which to produce bad art, get worse as a person, do that which others could do better. USFK bases are like huge campuses with super-nice beds and the soldiers all appear to need like 5,000 KCAL per diem or they’ll pass out. I had been in the habit of sleeping bolt-straight till I got here and liquified my form. ‘Winners’ got totally out of hand where the Ass’t Headmaster started cruising around looking for anyone and everyone to talk to and never got what he was up to - never ever ever realized that he could minimize his life and walk away, that he was manager-material at Cryan’s Irish Pub or sth, that the principal really might retire one day or just let him step up, if he didn’t keep trying to ‘discharge responsiblities’ or lay the ground for some super-daughter-figure to fulfill the mission that he had been waiting to incipit; and too, he was sort of a priest to begin with and avoided his vocation for years and decades for reasons unknown. My ex-friend from Harvard bragged about staying up for 36hrs doing something and there was President Obama saying ‘Heyyy Harvard Columbia but I also like flip-flops, chips, Occidental, jackass, fag.’ Obama had such an uneven series of statements. I used to blow up on the radio like 1000000% affirmative action; Thomas Sowell is 10000% right that the Ivies were disillusioning and damaging generation of Blacks who couldn’t read fast enough - therefore, better to go back to K-12 / HS and try to give younger people a general preparedness so that they wouldn’t leave it to mercenary oft CCP-seduced (Vogel) and it turns out oft pedophilic prof’s (Alexander Theroux is in the habit of calling Dershowitz ‘dirt’ though I actually agree with him about a lot and hope that he is still in favor of rule of law at this bizarre hour) to form or confer their identity and bequeath their sense of mission in life...

‘Thanksgiving Day’

Possibly my ‘most characteristic novel’ that predicted me never being understood or read with my own grain at all though it contained terrorist threats basically. Of all Korean pop-music with its numerous melismas in a way he most ‘abject’ was Sunny’s song from ‘Story of Wine,’ ‘Finally Now’ which made me realize actually I was gonna get cut up at all the dinner-parties, all my understandings would be met with anti-understandings, everything I simplified would be complicated, whether I throw rock paper or scissor all my ex-friends from Gov School are throwing CCP massive retaliation deepfake AI bury-the-scholar-alive fireballs. So they drove to the South Mountain Res where the homosexual pederasts are acting pedagogical and ‘adoptive’ and they are sitting there like, ‘Well soon it will be deer-hunting season + Chris Christie was saying how teachers like to make kids’ faces light up + give them indelible memories but under all his generosity of acknowledgment / crediting all the while CC was also saying / dogwhistling / inciting if not demanding or ordering, “Eat the poor,”which Obama was also arguably saying.’

I still like Sunny or did like 18 months ago - Tizzard and friends are mad at Cho Kuk; I tried to defend the governing class though this actually clashed with my own belief in people that came from dirt being best qualified as long as they don’t turn utterly prideful; and I’m a monarchist megalomaniac b/c I thought of Kissinger saying, ‘The illegal we do immediately the unconstitutional takes a while’ which I did not eve n intend to mean ‘Milwaukee antinomianism misrule carnivalesque total inversion of values’ and IZ*ONE were ‘rigged’ (destined), ‘Sunkyu’ is a good safe name that I know of and at the end she is like, ‘He is a loser; I am going back to the party anyway; he belongs in a Cistercian monastery or somewhere; it is not wrong to have monks and nuns and celibate married couples and/or those who wat a long time after marriage to have a child...’

‘Everything’ (Everything 2015 / Everything 2021)

Words never said, ‘I’m everything’ - therefore how can you not play my games and _ _ _. This was such an abject apprehension(?) in my own life; I had an ideal solution to the problem and in those days I actually had no acute anxiety nor did I feel this distance(d) awe from anybody but only a low-level thrumming or basso continuou worry or ‘meditation’ (Purpose-Driven Life). I guess now if someone isn’t asking a clear question it might be beside the point to imagine it’s worthwhile to answer and if somebody proffers you a certainty in any part of speech it is best it is best just to respond or non-respond without ay semblance of personality; deflection; without wanting to add anything or change anyone’s mind b/c in the end they who open their wings prematurely will get shot down all the more; and will also become their own worst enemies at times due to the conceits of ‘my nobility; fallen flower; I was Elect; I was anointed [sth. from ‘Sentimental Education’ abt women’s hearts]’

When I was 15 I started thinking a lot about reality and who is real to whom; my favorite piano-piece though in retrospect I might’ve ust listened to it then moved on with better things was Frederic Chopin’s ‘Berceuse’ op. 57 a.k.a. ‘Lullaby’ though originally it was simply ‘Variations.’ Simple left hand, very testing right hand. Michelangeli made a version in which nothing was thrown away or left to chance and a lot of pianists add a deep D-flat to the last chord which I disagreeith b/c the whole point of not using that is taht in the end it’s not a big deal. Best is Kempff 1946 because it’s utterly affectionate, fatherly, almost forgetful. I had once regarded this version or ‘rendering’ as being Kempff’s message to post-Nazi Germany saying, ‘Dream a new dream for a while.’ His left hand is spelling and his right hand is tracing. I used to make up words for this piece ‘I’m real God can’t you see / to break your shield’ but that was with a different count or tempo than the actual notation. Also, the version I heard first was Idil Biret or someone and they made the left hand cycle or reciprocate with a false completeness like an underlying clock when the essence of the ‘Berceuse’ is that the inner voices form a tolling or droning. I years later turned to the even more violent psychopathic Chopin that gave me hand-tremors and I think it is very bad for humans of which the apex was the last page or so of Nocturne 55-2 which is basically heart-explosion into embers. After going to KR I never wanted to touch a piano again except for anything related to Kempff and would walk around Lake Park, Wahl Street, considering Russia, simplicity, ‘c/Chimes.’ Didn’t then realize George Frost Kennan grew up around there and was considering Russia his whole life. I saw ‘Cat Street’ and was put in mind of a Singaporean market or square where they let songbirds talk to each other but it’s ancient history now. Maybe in future no one will care about cats, birds - I don’t really except I grew up in white trash degenerate Mass. where they burned frogs for fun (I was like 3) and put skull-flag all over their rooms. I oppose Mao sparrow-genocide, am fond of dandelions and the Ku Sang poem about dandelions from ‘Infant Splendor.’ However my generation and the people of that time were arguably over-equipped and in one way over-covered in another under-covered.

Voice in my head saying ‘They want Maoism man.’ But I really did believe in those days that others’ futures were like my own past and I perhaps overestiated my own chance of any future understanding, ‘trust-ness,’ and, either stable interiority or cognizable reliable plain-as-day face-to-face exteriority.

I also read Somerset Maugham’s critiques of ‘the Russian sense of humor’ which I approved of and my mom recently dreamed of the cat running out with his tail burnt.

There are perhaps only so many possible variations or stories and ‘today’s character’ is a real human being in the present moment and placement not just your favorite actress or whatever or whomever that would follow you to the ends of the Earth. I have almost no idea right now whether others want what I want or not; I had fantasized about writing speeches and always taking my family with me on the campaign-airplane which in retrospect is not perforce responsible and might’ve been mental Bidenism. I had only felt that it would or could be good for people in the future / future Man to be aware of one another’s burdens like let your son or daughter know when you’re working really hard instead of playing / representing Santa Dad when you’re really storing up UncleHammer and CrushFather vengeance, whether motivated by presumption and reactionary atavism or by the Will of God in the case of Mr. David James Johnston must be pulverized in to ‘coulisse bright dark tragic chiaroscuro’...In ‘Coming Home Again’ Changrae Lee’s mom was telling him how hard his psychiatric dad worked in graduate school and that is something I believe kids should know but there again what if immgrant young people really do grow up or ‘come up’ with this ‘Minima Moralia’ (Adorno cf. Vatican Censoriate) sense that ‘wrong life cannot be rightly lived,’ a horrific desolate phrase, that existence is a ‘battle life’ and that evth we do right today is a down-payment on wrong tomorrow.

In the ‘diaspora(?)’ of Evangelical Christianity following the passing away of a very famous and beautifully simply and consistent apologist Ravi Zacharias there was a cataclysmic revelation concerning his treatment of masseuses, first in terms of sexual harrassment and later unless it is all ‘fake news’ the discovery of a trove of actual records of abuse. I‘m Reddit ButBothSides relativism but it really almost feels as if there had been the mentality of a ‘treasury of merit’ but I don’t even want to say anything like that. Strange keepsakes! I feel as though ‘everybody deserves to know’ I am pretty certain I could be indicted for sexual harrassment in the Republic of Korea from a specific instant I recall very vividly + it might be good to do so in view of the current society’s determination to stop driving women toward suicide but IDK whether I ough to say that to anyone in Milwaukee b/c around here they’re racists and polyamorists and it’s more CCP paleo-peudo-Confucian mistress-culture where my dad is checking out my girlfriends and orgy and procurement are considered acts of unconditional love(?). Many years ago I looked at the Joongang Daily and say a ‘diptych’ of ‘T-ARA to release new song in November’ and ‘Uhm Taewoong arraigned for solicitation in [’my last stop’]’ + I adored TIAMO but it made me sad that the yougest member of this group was posing ith little girls all carring playing cards b/c it was lke a Chaim Potok novel that said mutatis mutandis ‘child-rearing is all gambling’ which goes against my sense of what is possible and even practical with a proper chain of care and ‘absolute ownership.’ And there I had been eager to join in the American Families Plan but then it really is still public schools where (Chesterton), ‘ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.’ Professionalism, fair compensation, training, re-training, good data, involving parents. I am just sad b/c I realized I don’t really get how good or bad the SoE’s are anymore but the costs of Chromebooks and such are immense and I’m almost 100% certain the kids still have noisy homes, no good desks, + many of the staff are single moms nursing etc. + teacher-tenure and ‘middle class wages’ IMHO have been drawing mercenary self-righteous ideologue-automoton mental Boomers for decades and they still don’t get it but I’m super-sad b/c I just have no way I know of finding out!

I like talking to psychiatrists b/c they get stuff about autism as well as in some cases literal demons and matters such as handwriting, Arabic script going ‘backwards,’ but in the end they too appear committed to doing whatever the current overlord(s) of the world order are going to do. At the mental hospital they’re writing stuff like ‘schiz- ____’ nd saying ‘sign I’ll date’ and when I say ‘that’s an official document’ the union pozzers around here are like ‘it’s my document’ like Hell it is. You’re on strike against truth and morality and that’s no joke! You better give me heart-failure tonight or I will eventually bring a suit against your ‘whole host’ but that itself is beside the point because of Delta and drones and the fact that this is a revelating(?) era and a literal Judgment of God, which I had been hoping to weather and eventually execute my long-incubating intention but I truly am concerned what could present roll over and through this city.

This spectre or menace of a saturating, superceding, overriding ‘raison d’etat’ in the earthly world order soon to come and everything going to be unsealed anyway so that your private life is really just ‘a paper heart merit-badge that says “private life” on it’ and in future even a confirmation of something or someone is not really a confirmation. Puts in mind of the MLG song ‘Kiss Me’ about ego and commitment and the valences and intersections(?) of different potential promises or forecasts. My old friend Miles used to write about kissing a lot and I had reflections about kissing and such matters but IDK now if he’s a cultural Maoist advocating to defund the LAPD or he just ‘keeps his virtue to himself’ and feeds trash the ‘Arab Street’ about not protecting weak people from criminals.

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 4 years

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A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 111) "This Isn't My Fault"

@crystalbaby12 @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @5sosfam1dlover @rosefilledhearts-blog

On his way upstairs Colson realizes he's much more wasted than he had thought. Stumbling behind Luna, he bangs into the bedroom door as they enter. Throwing himself onto the bed, he let's out an intoxicated groan before rolling over and extending his arms out for Luna to join him.

"Hi." Colson beams while wrapping his long arms around her once she's on the bed with him.

"Hi." She sighs out as a satisfied smile settles on her face.

Being tucked inside Colson's hold is the only thing Luna's wanted all day. Slipping one of his large hands around her face, he holds her in place with his other. Dipping down, he kisses her wanting mouth.

"You have to fucking tell him." Luna's mind starts to nag her as Colson distracts her body. "But do I really though? All it's gonna do is start a bullshit ass argument... And for what?" Luna continues making out with Colson until the consistent mental screams of "TELL HIM!!!" become too much to bare.

"I'm sorry..." Luna breaks away from him with a shameful look.

"For what? You're home." Colson drunkenly shakes his head while trying to pull her back in for another deep kiss.

"No... I know but that's not what I mean. He kissed me again. Which I STOPPED.... But... I kissed him GoodBye before I left." Luna admits as she adamantly pushes Colson away from her and sits up.

Looking deep into her oceanic eyes, he knows she's serious when he sees the ring around her iris's begin to blaze. As he watches them light up, the dangerous yellow flames rage wildly inside their blue home. For the first time, her beautiful eyes scare the shit out of him. His heart sinks before hitting full throttle as he processes what she just said.

"Calm it down, Kells." He tries to control himself mentally but alcohol and other substances are clouding his brain.

"YOU FUCKING WHAT!?!" Colson barks as he flies up into a sitting position too.

"It's not what you think..." Luna starts as she sits up onto her knees.

"What I think is that you be out here kissen' MOTHERFUCKERS all willy nilly!" He shouts at her. "What the fuck would you do if I told you some shit like that?" He asks as his jaw clenches and he jerks his head at her.

"You're acting like I fucked him." She argues even though she knows he's right.

"I swear to fucking Christ, LUNA!!" Colson is shouting at her again as he jumps off of the bed. "Don't fuck with me." He warns while pacing. "I knew I shouldn't have let you go down there in the first fucking place." He mutters a bit too loudly. "How you gonna act like kissing someone isn't a big fucking deal?" He balks at her as he whips around on his unsteady feet.

"LET ME?" Luna howls with laughter at Colson's ridiculous words. "Oh, Sweetie, I know you're tore up, but you're not fucking stupid." She continues to laugh at him as she shakes her head. "You don't LET ME do shit. I do what I want.... And... what are we... In sixth fucking grade? I kissed him GoodBye. You're the fucking Master of Cheating, so don't come at me about some dumbass kiss shit." She scoffs as she rolls her eyes, standing up also she unbuttons her pants and begins to undress.

"If I'm The fucking Master... You're The GOD DAMN Wizard." Colson snarls at her after taking a huge step towards her. "I never cheated on someone for a year while fucking living with them." He breathes into her face, his angry tone laced with the familiar smell of Jamison.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" Luna stops undressing as she asks him, mouth hanging wide in shock while her shirt dangles in her hand.

"That YOU, Miss High and Fucking Mighty are The Wizard of Cheating." He cocks his head to the side as his eyes shoot daggers through her soul.

"Okay..." Luna says in a low, calm tone as she begins to look around for her clothes, not realizing her shirt is still in her clutched hand. "I want you to go back downstairs to Phem and all the other bitches that were hanging on you when I walked in." She tells him as her heart pounds into her ribcage

"What the fuck? What? No. This is my fucking room. I'm not going anywhere." Colson cuts back, confused by her logic.

"Fine." Luna shrugs as she stops looking around and pops her unknowingly free hand on her hip. "I'll leave."

"Fucking WHAT? You can't just leave." Colson shakes his head as he scrunches his face up at her.

"Watch this Wizard do what THE FUCK SHE WANTS." Luna snarks as she realizes her shirt is in her hand.

"You're a fucking idiot." She scolds herself for a multitude of reasons. Luna HATES fighting with Colson. Whether he's right or not though... There is no one, no system, nor no dick that will ever control Luna. In any manner.

"You're not fucking going anywhere." Colson states.

Before she can pull her shirt on, Colson shoves her back onto the bed with all of his force. Slamming his palms right into her shoulders. It sends her flying so fast that she loses her grip on the shirt in surprise. Jumping on top of her, he traps her body with his straddle as he holds her down with her arms pinned across her chest. Where Luna was once hurt, confused and calm; now she's beyond livid.

"Get the FUCK off me." She growls at Colson as she tries to buck her hips up under his weight.

"No." He replies as he leans down closer towards Luna's face. "You're not going anywhere."

"Colson... I fucking swear..." Her threat is cut off by his aggressive kiss.

Holding her firmly in place. He presses his body down harder onto her wild hips. He can feel her give in as her tongue begins to dance violently along with his. Pulling away, she grabs his bottom lip between her teeth. Holding him for a sweetly painful moment.

"You better not let me up as you fuck me cuz Imma lay you out." Luna threatens Colson in a husky voice as he sits up and studies her, keeping her tight in his hold.

"So tighter?" Colson asks with a smirk as he pulls on her arms harder, watching her response.

"Much tighter." Luna challenges him as her shoulder throbs and her pussy lips swell from his authority while their eyes stay locked.

"You gonna run if I take my pants off?" Colson eyes her.

"I don't know..." Luna slightly jerks her head. "Guess that depends on how much I really wanna FUCK you, now doesn't it?" She answers as she cocks her lip and eyebrow at him.

"Keep your arms crossed. If not... Fuck you..." Colson challenges Luna back as he let's go and rises above her.

Standing over top of her body, Colson grabs the ceiling beam to steady himself. Unbuttoning his ripped, red jeans, he pulls them down along with his briefs. Using two hands, he grips the beam tighter as he uses his right foot to wrangle his left leg free. Hoping to not crush the body below him. Stepping from side to side of her, Colson grows more than frustrated as he drunkenly tries to free himself from his leg cages. Luna lays still, trying not to laugh as he wiggles around like a dumbass.

After mentally consoling himself out loud to Luna's amusement, Colson's finally free from his pant chains. Grasping the beam again with all of his might, his drunk ass is swinging around loosely. Leaning down a bit too far, he almost falls on Luna as he drunkenly realizes it's her he was trying not to stomp on. He laughs loudly as he looks down at her, immediately pleased by her still crossed arms while her eyes watch him and lips hold their own small smile. He's so intoxicated he forgets what they're fighting about.

"You're there!" Colson slightly shouts at the sight of her.

"I'm here." Luna replies as she continues to watch him.

"I love you." Colson gazes down happily at her as his body sways back and forth. "Shit... I'm fucked up, Loons..." He laughs. "I think need a minute, Kitten..." He trails as he drops down on the bed beside her and curls his naked body around her.

"I know, Bunny..." Luna coos softly as she let's him settle into her right shoulder.

Stroking his hair, Colson nestles deeper into her chest and arms. Luna starts running her nails along his scalp for a bit before looking around. To her relief there's a full joint in the ashtray and a lighter within reach.

"Thank you Colson and The Ever Loving Weed Gods..." Luna thinks as she exhales a deep hit while still running her nails through his hair. "Well, that was some shit..." She sighs to herself as she looks down at him. "He's gonna be fucking dick tomorrow..." Luna realizes as she puffs on the joint. "I can't believe he said that to me.... See, that's why I don't tell people shit. Judgmental ass fucks." Luna sighs out another deep hit as she looks down at Colson.

Finishing the joint, she slips down into the bed. With his body wrapped around her, she feels a weird anxiety interrupting her normal comfort.

"Fuuuck... I wish I could get to my bag..." Luna's mind moans. Trying to mentally manifest a Xanax, an Ativan... Anything "Fuck... I'd even take a fucking Valium suppository at this point." She slightly starts to bug out under Colson's weight. "Fuck this." She decides.

Holding her breath, Luna slowly shifts and wiggles out from under Colson's naked body. Slipping off the bottom of the bed like a snake, she stands up.

"FUUUUUUUCK." Her brain roars as she tries to survey the room.

Spying her bag, she grabs it. Heading into the bathroom, she opens a window. Digging through her bag, she locates her Newports. Lighting one to steady her mental insanity, she begins to riffle through her bag again. Finding 1,2,3 of her traveling stash, Luna stares at the pill bottles. Lined across the counter are Xanax bars, Percocet 30s and 800mg tablets of Seraquil. As she reaches for all three bottles, she remembers she's in Cleveland and that Casie's home. Opting for a half of a bar instead of her heavy sleeping pill, Luna drops her head under the faucet for a mouth full of water before letting the pharmaceutical miracle fall down her throat. Still staring at the bottles, she finds her joint box in her bag before chopping up a 30. Sitting on the toilet, she let's the familiar drugs swirl around her as they calm her wretched soul.

"You knew he'd be pissed... Yeah, but you also said you wouldn't sidestep him either, sooo...." Luna argues with herself as she puffs on the joint. "I hate this so fucking much...." Her brain whines as she stands up. Looking into the mirror, she drops all expectations and personal beliefs as she stares into her own eyes.

"Who do you REALLY want?" She asks herself out loud as her heart spins like a wheel.

Rolling over every significant name. Colson. Justin. Tommy. Jackson. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. Like the carnival game, it hesitates. In her soul, the clicker lingers on Justin's name before flipping over to land solely on Colson's .

Still staring at herself, Luna let's out a gentle sigh of relief. "Thank you...." Her mind kicks out to her surprise. Catching her breath in her soul, Luna studies herself as she takes another hit off the joint.

Annoyed with herself, she shakes her head as she sits back down on the toilet. Allowing her brain to roam, it swirls wildly around her subconscious thoughts and feelings regarding the last three years.

🎼No one//Really knows//How hard//Life was//I try not//To think about it//Now because//I've finally//Found you🎶 Luna's brain sings to Colson.

High and feeling like she's finally capable of laying still, Luna strips off her bra and panties. Slipping back under Colson's dead weight, she settles into him. Letting out a content sigh, she allows herself to let go. Falling into him fully. Forgetting for the moment Life and all it's physical and emotional pain along with their fight from less than 2hrs before.

---------------------------------------------------

Luna wakes up again much earlier than she'd like. These things happen when her soul is unsettled. Colson is knocked, softly snoring as his slim body consumes the bed and Luna like a rock.

"How the fuck can someone so skinny be so fucking heavy...?" Luna huffs in her mind as she squiggles out from under his clutches.

She rails a perc and burns a joint before heading downstairs to smoke a cigarette. For as much as she bitches about not being able to smoke in public, Luna prefers a smoke free home. Call her a hypocrite... It happens.

Checking her phone outside, she has a text from Opie asking if she's okay. She responds with a Yes before texting Gemma an apology for leaving so abruptly.

"EVERYTHING about yesterday was a fucking shit show." She sighs as she stumps out her Newport.

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Inside, downstairs is a wreck. Skipping the living room that holds a snoozing Mod, Phem, Noah, Caroline and Pete, Luna heads to the kitchen.

Standing silently, she stares at the mess. "It's like Oscar the Grouch took a shit in the sink while Roger from American Dad had a full fledged orgy on the countertops." She thinks, slightly impressed with a horrified look on her face. "Fuck me." Luna immediately regrets coming downstairs.

There is not one human in This World that would describe Luna as domestic. Of all the compliments and insults... Cleaning anything would not land on ANY CHART OF HER LIFE. Standing in Colson's kitchen, Luna's at Def Con Five.

It's fucking disgusting. There's random leftover drinks, beers and food. Clothes. People. Trash. Everything. All over the floor. The furniture. The house. Luna carefully steps over it all as she makes a cup of coffee and bops to Modest Mouse. Thankful that she knows that she's up to date on her vaccinations as she makes her way around the destroyed kitchen.

Draining and dropping beer cans, bottles and solo cups into recycling, Luna tosses out whatever rancid food is on the counters. Collecting the dishes that are in her radius, she loads the dishwasher and wipes down the counter.

"What the fuck am I doing?" Luna says out loud as she looks around in disbelief and bewilderment at the kitchen and broom in her hand.

Luna starts to question her whole existence after finding herself sweeping. "YOU are fucking Maleficent NOT Sleeping Beauty!" She yells at herself. "You loooove to sleep though." She quickly responds, always up for a argument inside her own head.

"Looney?" Casie's sleepy voice interupts Luna's mental breakdown.

"Morning, Dill..." Luna answers nonchalantly over the broom before she sweeps the pile into the dust pan. "You and Kev hungry?" She asks spying the alien as she empties the pan into the trash and washes her hands.

"Yeah... " Casie nods.

"What cha guys want? Eggos? Cereal? Bagels? Do you guys even DO bagels?" Luna asks with a hint of smugness while opening the bottom freezer door.

"Kevin thinks we should have eggs and toast. That's easy." Casie answers as a matter of fact.

"Does KEVIN know how to make eggs?" Luna asks as she slightly snakes her head.

"No. Don't you?" Casie answers curtly.

"Nooooo.... What would make you think I know how to make eggs?" Luna answers the ludicrous question with another ludicrous question.

"Cause you're a grown up...?" Casie says as she gives Luna a questionable look.

"But I'm not." Luna laughs at the absurdity of the thought. "Where's your phone?" She asks, trying to get a grip of herself, her life, Casie, Kevin and these fucking eggs. "Nope... Get over here and YouTube that shit." Luna declares as Casie tries to slide back into her seat at the island. "We'll learn together, Dilla." She asserts as Casie comes back over, leaving Kevin safely at the island.

Deciding they need tunes, first and foremost, Luna grabs her own phone. Without consulting Casie, she kicks The White Album on. Dancing around the kitchen the young girl helps Luna find utensils and ingredients as they sing together to Casie's delighted surprise. There's something so pure about knowing a song without knowing you know the song. Watching the moments when Casie's mind figured out that she knew certain ones had made Luna's soul jump in delight.

Standing to the side of the tall, slender girl, the two watch the YouTube video intently as they try to scramble eggs in a pan. Laughing at the instructors accent while trying to be serious.

"She's just like her dad." Luna thinks to herself as they sing Rocky Racoon together while scraping around the pan of eggs.

"He said 2mins.." Casie contests Luna while looking at the pan of their sloppy mess.

"He also used three eggs and we used twelve." Luna laughs. "It's gonna take longer because the quantity is different." She explains.

"So, it's like math?" Casie asks looking up at Luna as she makes the connection.

"Yes!" Luna beams as she continues to help Casie move the eggs around the pan the way The Man on YouTube said.

Luna doesn't cook. Luna doesn't eat scrambled eggs, so she has no fucking idea what's supposed to be happening right now. Convincing Casie to chill and replay the video, she's pretty sure she knows what scrambled eggs are SUPPOSED to look like. In her honest opinion, they're like halfway there.

"I don't think this is working, Looney...." Casie complains as she grows tired of the egg pool and goes to sit with Kevin.

"It's okay, kiddo... Take a break. You wanna do your toast?" Luna asks as she continues to move the lumpy gloop around the pan, feeling confident as she slowly watches it become solid.

"Yeah... You want some?" Casie asks, eager to start a new task as she stands back up.

"Sure..." Luna shrugs as she studies their experiment. "Come're.... I think the eggs are doing their thing." Luna shows Casie as she hands her the spatula and steps aside.

"Just scrunch 'em?" The kid asks.

"Yup. Like this..." Luna answers.

Taking Casie's hand, she shows her how to drag the spatula across the bottom of the pan. Switching directions, she shows her how to do it again while pointing out how the drippy, uncooked eggs fall into their clear path for a reason.

"Why?" Casie asks confused.

"So they can be scrunched and cooked too..." Luna laughs again as she kisses the top of Casie's head, she doesn't really know but it sounds good. "Is our toast ready?" She reminds the younger one.

"Yup. What should we put on it?" Casie asks another question as she pulls the hot bread out by her fingertips.

"We got jelly?" Luna asks as she moves the pound of eggs around the pan, slow and steady, like a turtle... It's what The YouTube Man told her to do.

"What's jelly?" Casie cocks her eye at Luna.

"Fucking MidWest, Man..." Luna snarls with a mental annoyance. "I can understand no lox... Or good bagels but fucking jelly.... Come on man... It's fucking squished fruit juices." Luna stares at the huge pan of eggs that she's been cooking for the last decade. "And I'm gonna be a fucking resident here...." Her brain scoffs at herself. "Oh, shit, they look like real eggs... Holy SHIT, I think I'm making eggs!!" Luna starts to freak out.

"Hey, Case!!" Luna yells excitedly. "Come check this shit out!! WE GOT EGGS!!" Luna shouts at their victory, making all her mental doubts evaporate.

"WE GOT EGGS!!" Casie shouts while high fiving Luna with a wide grin as she looks at their accomplishment.

"What do I do with it now?" Luna asks with genuine concern as she holds onto the pan.

"I don't know... We got toast and jam. Wanna just eat it?" Casie shrugs at Luna.

"Sure..." Luna agrees as she tosses a pot holder on the counter.

Setting the pan down, Luna grabs two forks, salt and pepper. Casie bringing over the toast and butter before locating the JAM. Luna butters both of their toast as they pick bites of their eggs out of the pan beside Kevin.

"This is so gross. Why's it so chunky?" Luna complains as she tries to smear jam on Casie's toast.

"I don't know... But it's delicious... And Kevin likes it." Casie states with a smile a she takes a huge bite out of her slice.

Luna tries not to SideEye Casie as she takes a solid bite from their pan of eggs. She may love the girl and her father but toast is toast and a bagel with smear is fucking heaven. She doesn't even know what jam is. Expect that it's chunky and gross. Fuck Kevin's traitor ass opinion.

"Take a bite." Casie asserts as she thrusts her jam covered toast in Luna's disgusted face.

"Okay..." Luna reluctantly says.

Casie shoves the hard, flavored bread into Luna's mouth before she can fully prepare herself. Chewing with her eyeballs wide, she nods at Casie. Deciding the crunch is nice with the sweetness. It's not a bagel but it's okay.

"Alright... Toast is okay with jam." Luna agrees with Casie. "But bagels are the best." Luna teases her favorite girl with a dozen kisses as she nuzzles into her giggling face.

Kevin, Luna and Casie continue eating their eggs while they chat and munch on their toast. Talking about school, the latest gossip on Casie's friends, boys, clothes, what they wanna do for their birthdays and how Casie REALLY feels about Luna and Colson getting married.

"Am I getting a sister?" Casie asks bluntly as she stabs her fork into the pan.

"What? Nooooo, Dude... Why? Why do you want a sister so badly?" Luna asks as she watches Casie's reactions closely.

"It doesn't have to be a sister... I just want SOMETHING." Casie answers like Luna knows what she's talking about.

"For why?" Luna asks completely confused and turned off.

"Because with a brother or sister you have a friend forever." Casie answers with a simple shrug. "Who talks." She says, glancing quickly over at Kevin to make sure he didn't hear her.

"Oooh, kill my soul..." Luna mentally moans at the girl's logic, truth and sweetness.

"That's why?" Luna's stares at Colson's daughter while they sit next to each other at the kitchen island.

"Yeah." Casie shrugs as she reaches for more eggs. "And they can do half of my chores too." She says with a nonchalant tone.

"I fucking love you." Luna laughs as she leans over to kiss Casie's head.

After they finish their breakfast, Luna suggests Casie and Kevin watch TV in her room since the rest of the house is still a disaster and littered with bodies. With a full belly, it's an easy decision. Casie's lived this life all her life. Happily retreating into her personal oasis with Kevin in tow after kissing Luna on the cheek.

"Oh!! Will you wash my yellow shirt for today?" Casie stops to ask Luna.

"Didn't you just wear it yesterday?" Luna questions her.

"Yeah, but it's my favorite shirt." Casie explains.

"Sure... Bring it down. We just made eggs, I'm sure we can figure out the washer." Luna answers with a shrug.

"Thanks!!" Casie shouts as she drags Kevin up the stairs.

"Kids are so fucking weird..." Luna thinks as she watches her go.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Dooon't...." Luna exhales with a cough as she tries to warn Colson from the back door.

She is not in time. Colson takes two steps onto the wet kitchen floor before he finds himself on his back. Luna only pisses him off more when she keeps laughing at the sight of his confused face twisting and arms flailing around as he went down. It was definitely not his most graceful moment and it was fucking hilarious.

"Here, Bunny, lemme help you..." Luna offers out her hand, trying to contain her laughter.

"Fuck you, don't touch me." Colson angrily spews as he gets up from the floor, he may have forgotten why he was mad at her last night but he sure as hell remembers this morning.

"Seriously?" Luna asks gently, using EVERYTHING inside of her to not scream the question at him.

Colson looks around the clean kitchen. Peering at Luna, he decides it must've been her who cleaned it. Pulling one of the large canisters across the counter, he opens it. Staring straight through Luna, he doesn't break eye contact as he picks up the jar of sugar and dumps it all over the floor.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!?!" Luna can't help but scream now from the mix of anger and shock.

"That shit looks sweet. Wanna kiss it too?" Colson taunts Luna with more than just his words.

"You're a petty fucking cunt." Luna shakes her head at Colson before turning on her heel and disappearing upstairs.

Feeling content with himself, his feelings change when he hears Luna loudly trot down the stairs and out the door. His head is throbbing as he stares at the pile of sugar on the floor.

"I don't think we can call that a win..." Colson sighs to himself as he collects the dust pan. "Damn... I didn't even know I owned a mop..." He thinks as he rubs his sore elbow.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You're up early, Buddy..." Pete says as he sees Colson in the kitchen. "Are you fucking cleaning?" He scoffs like they're in a fourth dimension.

"Yeeeahhh.... Loons... Ahhhh... It doesn't matter." Colson sighs. "Get out of my way." He huffs as he reaches for the dish detergent and starts the dishwasher.

"Wanna burn?" Pete asks as he lights a joint.

"Yeah." Colson sighs again as he sits down with him at the kitchen table.

"Where is said LunaTic at anyway?" Pete asks as he passes the bone.

"I don't know... We were fighten' and she walked out. She's probably on her way back to fucking New York for all I know." Colson says with a heavy tone of irritation in his voice.

"What's up with you guys?" Pete asks his bestfriend learily while he accepts the joint back.

"I don't fucking know." Colson coughs out his answer.

"Well, what the fuck were you talking about the other day with that whole Wouldn't Be The First Time shit?" Pete continues to pry as he inhales.

"Fuck. I was hoping he'd forget about that.... She's gonna fucking kill me" Colson slightly panics. There is no way for him to lie to Pete that would be even slightly believable.

"I was just pissed and talken' out of my ass." Colson tries to brush him off.

"Alright. I'll ask Loons myself." Pete shrugs.

"Don't you fucking..." Colson starts to bite back before Pete interupts him.

"YO!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING OVER THERE!?!" He yells in a panic pointing to the dishwasher.

"HOLY SHIT!" Colson screams as he jumps up.

Colson used Dawn. Not a dishwasher tablet. Dawn. Causing the dishwasher to explode with massive amounts of bubbles. Making both tall men run around the kitchen, hollering like idiots.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO!?!" Pete yells at Colson.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" Colson shouts back as the bubble pile grows larger and larger.

"Why the fuck are you... OH!! MY!! GOD!! WHAT DID YOU DO!? WHERE IS LUNA?!!?" Rook begins to scream with the two of them as he enters the kitchen.

Hearing them from outside, Luna comes back in to complete chaos. Pete is crouched down on top of a chair, looking like an overgrown Gollum while still hitting the joint. Colson continues running around aimlessly while he freaks out and Rook is screaming her name as the massive sea of bubbles attempts to consume him whole. She stands in silent horror as she observes the scene.

"Where did you go?! How do we stop this?!" Colson cries out when he sees Luna.

Slipping and sliding, he rushes over to her. Losing his balance on the way, he disappears into the pile of bubbles. Luna can't help but laugh as the memory of him falling earlier flashes through her mind.

"It's not FUCKING funny!!" He yells at her before yanking her down with him.

"I fucking hate you!" Luna shouts as she spits out a mouth full of bubbles and lunges for Colson.

The dishwasher is still pushing out loads of bubbles as the two of them wrestle out their feelings aggressively in the foamy mess. Coming in to put an end to the unbelievable nonsense, Slim slips immediately trying to get to the dishwasher. Pete's still on the chair getting high as Rook slowly disappears.

"Guys..." Casie stops in her tracks when she sees the state of the kitchen.

"GET KEVIN THE HELL OUTTA HERE!! HE CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!" Pete shrieks at the girl in sheer terror as he cups the joint.

Casie doesn't move. Just stands there watching with Kevin as Noah, Mod, Caroline and Phem join her. Rook can't be seen anymore as he screams for someone to STOP THE FUCKING BUBBLES. Luna and Colson are still rolling around on the floor slap boxing each other as Slim army crawls to safety. All the chaos stops when Benny, the only actual human being amongst them, calmly makes his way over to their enemy by gripping the walls, cabinets and appliances. Finally shutting the dishwasher off.

The room is overfilled with bubbles. Rook is legit lost. Pete is stuck on the chair. Slim wants to know What The Fuck happened as everyone else puts their two sense in. Benny's busy looking for Rook while Casie and Kevin walk away from the "adult's" bullshit. Meanwhile, Colson and Luna can be found somewhere on the floor together.

"This isn't my fault." Colson begins to protest at the sticky nonsense surrounding them.

"I don't even wanna fucking know." Luna sighs out with a laugh.

"I'm still mad at you." He tells her lowly as he leans over for a kiss.

"I know." She replies softly, kissing him back as they lay tangled in each other amongst the huge mess.

It's not even Noon and Colson has a baseball game later. If yesterday was a Shit Show, today is already shaping up to be amazing.

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued...

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chwesolai · 4 years

Text

Cafe Girl, Grocery Boy | CH.4

[masterlist]

A/N: Don’t hate me but your antagonists for this story are Jeonghan, Jun and Seokmin. We all need a little bad boy!svt in our lives but I love those boys so don’t paint me as a villain, ok, let’s continue.

-You- After my little venture with Seungcheol, my shift ended and I swapped out with Joshua leaving him with the newbies, “Don’t scare them again, Shua.”

“You say that as if I always scare them,” he scoffs at me as we switch aprons, “need anything before you head out?” “Eh, not right now but I’ll head back over here before my date.” “You got it, wait, a date??!” “Bye Joshua! Bye V! Bye Chan!” I wave bye and rush out before being bombarded with Joshua’s questions.

I fast walk to my car, yet having about an hour before my exam. So I sat there, just thinking. I’m really going on a date for the first time in forever today. College hasn’t been too kind to me when it comes to dating. I’ve either been too busy or just too in my head when a guy would ask me out. Joshua even tried asking me out the first year we met. It didn’t work out in our favor. We found it better to be best friends instead of romantic friends, ya know? And I’m not the out-going type. I live in shadows, I’m never the girl in the spotlight.

But Seungcheol makes me feel a different way. He’s different.

Why is he so different?

-Seungcheol- “What are you smiling for?” Jihoon finally finishes his exam and walks out of the lecture hall.

“Took you long enough and it’s nothing, just thinking about something.”

“Thinking about her?”

“How’d you know?” I sarcastically answer while handing Jihoon the bagel I got him from y/n.

“Lucky guess, and thank you, I’m STARVING!” Jihoon practically inhales the bagel and repeats again that he’s still hungry, “Come on, I’ll treat you, lover boy, let’s get ramen.”

“I’m just going to ignore the lover boy comment, I’ll drive.” We walk off campus into the parking lot and continue to talk about how easy the exam was since we actually studied for once until we’re stopped by a voice.

The unknown voice parks his motorcycle and reveals himself as he removes his helmet, “AY COUPS WOOZ!”

Oh dear god.

“Hey Jeonghan, what’s up?” Jihoon reacts coldly.

“Come on, Wooz, don’t be so cold. It’s really cool, seeing you guys again! Really! And by the way, the place is looking really great now since you guys left, I appreciate your decision.”

Our silence gives Jeonghan his answer to his insensitive comments, “Any who, I’m going to my econ exam now,” he scoffs, “and have fun at your crummy place, losers. Don’t miss you for a second.”

We don’t either, asshole. Jihoon and I left that disgusting frat house about a year ago and haven’t seen any of those vile guys in a long time. They were easily the smartest, richest and the worst guys on campus. Their frat consists of scaring freshman to death, having strict rules on what your grades and GPA should be, and molding guys into what they thought was a good looking guy. Jihoon and I came from upper-class families too, but we were like them. They were a different breed. They put me and Jihoon in their frat as a joke. They ridiculed us daily for our looks, they constantly played pranks on us and last year, Jihoon snapped, like full on hulked out on them. He trashed the whole house, ruined half of their rooms, with my help, of course, and we were out of there.

Those guys did do one good thing for me, they led me to get a job. I didn’t want to depend on my parent’s money like they did. They led me to provide for myself and Jihoon and we got our own apartment. They may be evil but they helped me grow.

ANYWAYS.

Jihoon and I drove off, rolling the windows down, blasting the new 88rising album and just relieved.

“I can’t wait for this break, oh my god.” Jihoon sighs as he rests his head on the edge of the car window. “Couldn’t agree more.” I turned up the music as we continued to talk about our exam and our mid term break plans. I hope she passes all her tests. She deserves it.

“So, any idea where you’re taking her tonight?” “Not sure just yet. There’s this new chicken place that opened up downtown and I’ve been meaning to go there. But I’m not sure if that’s even romantic.” “Well, if you make it romantic, it’ll be romantic, promise.” “Ok Mr. love-expert,” I laugh as Jihoon begins on and on about how I should go about the night, “I think I just go with the flow and see what happens, ya know?” “She’s a business major, Coups. She lives and breathes plans. You can’t just go with the flow!” “You never know? Your major never really defines who you are.” “But it gives a good insight though. Only the top percent even get to be business majors.” “Whatever, so how does this sound, I pick her up from her apartment, we go to the chicken place, talk for a bit, I bring her to my favorite dessert place and we walk around the park?” “Straight out of a drama, I love it,” Jihoon places his hand on my shoulder, “You’re turning into a man,” he sniffles. “Shut up,” I punched his arm as I parked the car in front of the ramen place.

-You-

[time: 4:30pm]

I finished a little bit earlier than a majority of my class and I handed in my paper and walked out of the hall, feeling accomplished. Then someone calls out, “y/l/n!”

“Yoon!”

“Hey lovely.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder and begins to walk out with me. “Hey loser,” I removed him off of me, “how’d you feel about that test?” “Exams are exams, y/n. They’re a piece of cake. How’d you feel?” “It was really easy, it was like she was trying to give us answers,” we both laugh as we kept talking about how inefficient our econ professor is, “She literally made the study guide verbatim for the test!” “I mean do we expect anything else out of her?” He chuckles as I stop in front of the vending machine, “that shit is full of sugars, y/n. That’s no good for you.” I put some coins in and type in the number for powerade, “And? What about it?” I say as I open the bottle, taking a big sip out.

He shakes his head at me and we continue to walk out. The rest of the walk was silent, minus the sound of clocks ticking, doors slamming, and little bits of conversations from the break rooms. I just looked ahead while I felt Jeonghan’s eyes burning through the side of my face. - “So, you doing anything tonight?” Jeonghan asks as we make it out of the lecture hall. “For once, yeah, I am. Why? What’s the main event tonight?” “Just a couple of us were planning on going for drinks and then going to the karaoke rooms. What are you doing?” “I got a date,” I looked at him all smug, we continued to walk to the parking lot. “Who is the lucky guy?” He said with resentment, regretting asking me where I was going. “I don’t think you know him.” “Trust me, I know everyone,” He rolls his eyes at him, “who is it?” “Seungcheol. The grocery boy I talk about,” I cross my arms at him, as he scoffs, “what now, Jeonghan?” “Nothing. You have fun tonight, y/n,” Jeonghan smirks and walks to his motorcycle, “tell Coups I say hi.” “Bye weirdo!” “Bye lovely!” He laughs as he puts his helmet on and drives off. Lovely.

A nickname that’s only ever been said by him. Jeonghan’s been a friend for who knows how long at this point, and trust me, he’s asked me out numerous times throughout our schooling years. He’s attractive, just too much of an asshole for me. Our dads work together, both dominating South Korea’s economic industry. And we are the next in line for their spots, meaning we have nearly every class together. It’s annoying. But Jeonghan is a genius yet a meathead, it still boggles my mind. And he knows Seungcheol and calls him Coups?

Anyways, I find my car, and just sit in silence for 10 minutes. Then, I finally turn on my phone and check to see if I got any new notifications. * From 2hrs ago: (2) snap from shua* *From 5 mins ago: (4) iMessage from gyu*

Oh god, what did they do now?

I unlock my phone and decide to check my snaps from Joshua first. Just stupid picstures of them at work, making me smile a bit.

Then I scroll over to Mingyu’s text.

EMERGENCY! I KNOW UR PROBABLY TAKING AN EXAM BUT CALL ME ONCE U READ THIS! YOUR PARENTS STOPPED BY THE CAFE AND DIDN’T LOOK TOO HAPPY AND ARE LOOKING FOR U Y/N PLS CALL ME

“Oh shit,” I fumble with my seatbelt, buckle myself in and call Mingyu. “Y/N!!!!” “Jesus, Gyu calm down. Tell me what happened, I’m driving to the cafe right now.” “Ok! So! Your dad walked into the cafe, not making a scene and walked into the back and started calling out your name. But it was mine and Joshua’s shift so we were trying to explain to him you were in class, BUT THEN your mom comes in SCREAMING,” Mingyu begins to explain, nearly yelling as well. Telling me how my mom was furious at me for some reason, and kept on saying “where’s that boy? And how does she know him?” And my dad calmly got her out into their car and began to explain to him and Joshua why my mother was furious, “Your parents know about Seungcheol.” “Oh my god.” “I’m not even sure how they know Seungcheol, or how they know your relation with him. But they seemed really upset and good thing we covered for you because they think you have exams all day and shouldn’t disrupt your day,” Mingyu’s voice got quiet as I hear Joshua’s voice in the background, almost arguing with Mingyu, “Shut up, she’s on the phone right now.” “Why did you tell her! The two of them have a date tonight!” “I can hear you two.” I sigh over the phone, “I’m outside the cafe, I’ll be right in.”

I swear to god if Seungcheol’s parents are who I think they are, I’m going to end this. I really can’t have anything nice here.

#scoups #svt scoups #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan au #jeonghan #choi seungcheol fic #seungcheol x reader #jeonghan x reader #seventeen au #college au #rich boy au #college!svt #seventeen kpop #seventeen fic

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dawnwave16 · 4 years

Text

Not What I Expected

2; 3(here) ; 4

Matt just sighed knowing it was going to be a long day.

The day had started relatively well for Hotch. He'd woken up early enough to get breakfast for Jack and himself sorted out, double-checked Jack's homework as he hadn't done it the night before and he had even managed to drive Jack to school without stressing about a case as he'd cleared the last of his case files the previous day so he was glad he could go into a new case without worrying about any backlog. He was smiling as he walked into work only to be called over by Garcia.

“Hey Hotch, the IRT is on a video conference call and they want to speak to you.”

Garcia looked just as confused as he felt but dutifully he turned and walked towards Monty's office as he knew that's where the call would be. He got to his destination just in time to hear the tail end of Mae's question to Matt and his reply of “I don't know if it is a bomb I'll be dropping. I have a suspicion but no proof and don't want to make a mess by speaking out of turn. The only reason I'm even doing this with everyone here is the person it concerns may need our help.”

“Our help with what?” Hotch was beyond confused. This clearly wasn't about a case yet Matt seemed to think that the two of them were needed for a consult. It just didn't make sense. When Matt asked the question about knowing Sabine it took him by surprise but he guessed that Matt had bumped into her and she had mentioned him. The last thing he expected was for Matt to get Garcia to pull up a picture of a teenaged girl nor for her to have his eyes when he wasn't wearing his contacts at least. The IRT had heard his gasp despite him trying not to and their reactions were just as surprised. Thankfully Garcia was quick to send the request for a DNA test off though he was pretty sure he knew that the results would come back confirming that she is his daughter.

He was quiet for a moment before looking up at the international team. Matt seemed like he didn't like what he was about to say but that he knew that he needed to say it anyway. Hotch decided to give Matt the opening he needed so he asked

“Well, is there anything else I should know about before I meet her?”

By the look on Matt's face, he knew wasn't going to like the answer and he was right. Matt started by explaining about the Akuma attacks that were happening in Paris and how the police were handling it. He also told them about how the Mayor seems to be trying to not let the news of the attacks get out, after all, they hadn't known about them when they went in for their case. He then went on to explain how he had met Marinette and Sabine and the dinner invite. Hotch watched Matt's face and could see that there was something more to the story. A hazard of being a profiler he thought, we can't help but pick up on things left unsaid.

“Matt?” Hotch queried when it seemed like Matt was hesitating about continuing his story. “There's something else isn't there? About Marinette?”

Matt nodded sadly then spoke “You might want to get the rest of your team here to and move this chat to your conference room. What I'm about to say will require both Garcia and Monty to do some digging as well as Rossi as it will affect him too.”

Hotch was frowning, it seemed like the news kept coming. He had been at work for 2 hours already and he had yet to even step foot in his office, his world had been turned on its head with news about a daughter he hadn't known about and there was still another hit coming? He nodded, took a deep breath and nodded at Garcia, turning on his heel he went through to his teams' main office and told them to head to their briefing room saying that Garcia would join them shortly. They were understandably confused but Hotch simply held up his hand and turned back to the call that was now pulled up on the screen.

“Go ahead Matt, we're all here.”

“Alright,” Matt started. “Before I get started I have to ask Rossi something.”

Hotch groaned, “Please don't tell me he's in the same situation here as I am!”

Matt just smiled. “As far as I am aware, he's not. However, I do have to confirm a couple of facts to be on the safe side.”

Hotch nodded and sat back as Matt confirmed that Rossi didn't have any other grandchildren other than his grandson. He'd checked after the surprise about his daughter had been brought to his attention. Once that was sorted out Matt gave a brief overview of their discovery of Marinette and her to be confirmed relationship to Hotch. Garcia had chipped in by pulling up photo's of Marinette and saying that the rush she had put on the paternity test should give results in roughly 2hrs as she had told them to compare DNA profiles that were already available so that it wouldn't take the standard 3-5 days before they got results.

Hotch nodded to her in thanks before looking to Matt, who sighed knowing he had put off the next bit of news for as long as he could. Matt slowly started to tell them about what he had been told when Marinette had gotten back to the bakery after the Akuma attack. He told them everything Marinette had told him giving as much detail as he could. He'd made notes for himself in the quiet moments during the case just to make sure that he didn't forget anything.

By the time he was halfway through Garcia had her computer in front of her as well as JJ's pulling up everything she could on Lila Rossi, her mother and Alya Césaire. Rossi was fuming about a girl he'd never heard of claiming to be related to him, to the point where he simply held up a hand to get Matt to pause in his tale.

When he did Rossi turned to the team, “Any objections to me going to Cruz and getting us all emergency time off so that we can head to Paris? I know we won't be able to use our usual jet but I don't mind covering the cost of our tickets so that we can get there ASAP, I'm sure we can organise transport back and accommodation once we know how long we will be there. Hotch I know you probably feel that all of us going is unnecessary but this girl is trying to destroy your daughters' life. I'm sure the rest of the team will agree with me when I say we are family and that means despite never meeting her, we should do all we can to protect her.”

Hotch was touched but not surprised by Rossi's speech and when the team nodded in agreement all he could do was agree. Once Rossi was out the door Hotch looked at his team then at Matt and smiled gratefully.

“Thanks, everyone for your support, Matt can you please tell us the rest so that we can start planning how we want to deal with this on the plan. Garcia if you could please send all the info you have to our tablets and since I'm guessing you want to come with us I'm guessing you'll need to pack unless you have also started to keep a go-bag ready. Monty, do you mind being our go-to if we need anything done on this side of the world while we are in Paris?”

Getting Monty's agreement and an all-clear from Rossi who had walked back in with Cruz on his heels, Hotch got Matt to finish giving them all the information he had. The team then looked at each other but only JJ vocalised what they were all thinking.

“We've had unsubs with less of a stress load then what Marinette has.” She then continued with something none of them wanted to even contemplate, “Judging from what we've heard of Lila's stories, even second or third hand as they are now, I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up as an unsub in the future. Heck, who's to say she isn't one already without even having to use violence? Words used in the right way in this day and age of technology could easily spread fast and escalate thus driving her victims to kill themselves. This all sounds a little too practised for Marinette to be her first victim.”

The team shuddered slightly at the thought.

“Right well flights are booked so let's get our gear and go. We are booked for the 1 pm flight which is scheduled to take 7.5hrs so we'd better get going now if we don't want to miss it. I've managed to book us in first class and all clustered together so we can talk more on the way. I've organised it so we will have internet access on the flight.” Rossi was seemingly calm as he said all this but the team could tell he was the same combination of worried and angry as the rest of them. “JJ, I took the liberty of calling Will so that he knows what's going on, he wishes us all the best. Hotch, Jack has been booked to come with us, so I've called his school to excuse him and I recommend you head home to get his things together.”

Hotch smiled properly for the first time since that morning. He couldn't begin to express his thanks so he didn't try, he could see Rossi understood though. The team looked at each other and nodded then started to head for the door. As they did so they heard a ding from Garcia's computer so they looked at her.

“It's confirmed,” she said with a soft smile, then looked at Hotch. “Congrats, Dad, it's a teenaged girl!”

#au bio dad for marinette #miraculous ladybug #criminal minds #beyond borders #mlb #lila salt

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magistralucis · 5 years

Text

Ed Banger House Party @ Electric Brixton, 25 Jan 2019 [Review]

😍 Fucking fantastic you funky little Frenchmen... 😍

This was a very wild night. I can’t quite believe I survived it, even as I finish off writing thousands of words about it. It’s probably the most detailed review of a concert or show I have done to this date. I finally saw Sebastian in the flesh, was treated to over eight hours of sweet sweet music, and feel that I have begun my Ed Banger-related pursuits for this year in the perfect way.

And the loot. The sweet, sweet loot.

Read on for more. Mobile users, be warned this is a very long post.

The Journey

If you’ve read my other gig reviews you know the drill: I don’t live in London, have to commute there from wherever I’m living at the moment, London is difficult to navigate. But I had no trouble with my journeys this time, there were no Underground closures, and this venue was exactly the same one as the TBB show two years ago. Nothing to report there, only that I give props to our driver. There was an accident on the motorway, about 25 mins into a 2hr 20min journey. He took us on a thirty-mile detour to avoid the scene of the crash and still got us to London in time. If you’ve ever been on a National Express coach, you know what a big deal that is.

That wasn’t the only accident we stumbled upon in our journey, somewhere in Croydon (part of Outer London for non-UK readers) there was an altercation between two drivers and something like thirty police officers were present. It is rare to see that many police officers on scene for a single collision, so I wonder whether something more sinister was going on. All of them were wearing fluorescent vests and they reflected the light of the traffic most gloriously for a ten-meter stretch of the pavement. It was very attention-catching. I like to think they shared the same general sentiment of (o_o ) when they looked over and saw an entire busful of people goggling at them, but that’s neither here nor there. It was around 8:30PM when I got to London, and I spent some time lingering in the train station before making my way to Brixton.

I like queuing up early. I had no idea what I was going to find there.

9:20~PM: If you follow Thibaut on insta you might have seen this.

This instastory. It’s not obvious, but these three were far from the only ones in this picture. I know this because I FUCKING WALKED IN ON THIS PHOTOSHOOT. THESE THREE WERE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE. THIS WAS A VIP GROUP SHOT SESSION WITH 25+ PEOPLE OUTSIDE ELECTRIC BRIXTON AND I NEARLY BARGED IN AMONGST THEM LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT

I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! ;A ;

I’ve met my favourite bands spontaneously. Gone for signings. Received compliments from Rammstein. I’ve shaken hands with Xavier. But I’ve never just happened upon an entire group of my favourite people engaged in a situation not meant for ordinary fans. I was honestly more terrified than elated. I knew they were VIPs because they (all DJs included) had blue wristbands on which allowed continued re-entry into the club, instead of the usual red club stamp on the back of the hand. Later in the show I recognized two of those people as stage photographers. Pedro was closest to me, Irfane passed by (he had very vivid eyes, even under poor lighting), and around the right-hand side Thibaut was putting his arm around Sebastian. I may have seen Vladimir Cauchemar unmasked. Shit was surreal.

This could potentially have been a good place to greet Sebastian zdravo. Unfortunately there’s a time and place for such things, and a VIP photo session I wasn’t involved in was not one of them. (Electric Brixton isn’t known for facilitating after-show fan meets either, due to the club’s structure and how everyone has to be herded out at the end.) Even if it were just the Ed Banger folks milling around, I'm not sure if I’d have been able to approach them in this case. ‘Cause ultimately, I am just an Animal Experiencing Fear, and I was caught so off guard; I stepped back and pretended I had nothing to do with the area. At least that way I could gather my thoughts and continue to observe.

I can tell you this entire moment took five minutes from 9:23pm to 9:28pm, but only because I checked my phone later. I didn’t want to take it out in the moment because I got paranoid they’d think I was a creep. As the phones and cameras were put away and normal conversation resumed I looked up and saw Sebastian five steps in front of me.

You know that recent Seb + Vinco picture. Hang on I’ll find it. You know the look Seb has in that pic?

That. That is his actual gaze. That is what Seb actually looks like when he has nothing to pose for and nobody to speak to. Unless something mind-boggling was happening in the empty space several feet away from where I was standing, that’s his normal nothing-to-see-here expression. At one point we met eyes. I think he blinked like once. You can’t tell his eyes are blue even from a short distance. He looked down, exhaled vape smoke, and bit his lip. Then someone (Myd?) ushered him into the open doors. And that’s how I accidentally stumbled upon the Forbidden Ed Banger Content, and while I was excited at what I saw, I think I’d prefer a do-over in the future. When they’re not all engaged in other business, when I have a pen and an adequate surface, and when I am not a fool with poor timing.

Also Sebastian was not as tall as I thought he was, but also far from short; Irfane was taller than I thought, but visibly shorter than Thibaut; Thibaut was taller than I thought, but no match for Pedro, whose height continues to boggle my mind. I have seen all of those people before, save for Sebastian. Pedro I have seen multiple times, with multiple people, in multiple contexts. Yet I still have no grasp of how tall anybody is in this label.

I don’t know what that implies about my visualization skills. At this point, I’m too scared to find out.

9:33PM: I’m going with this timestamp because that’s when I noted down that security cleared out completely with the VIPs, closing the front doors behind them. A girl comes up near me and stares at the venue, the ‘Ed Banger Records’ written in lights, then at the queue barriers (not open) for some time before turning to me. There were maybe five people altogether waiting.

Girl: Excuse me, is this the queue for people with tickets?

Me: I don’t know. We might be queuing to find out where the queue is.

Girl: [To a freshly emerged security guard, holding a sandwich.] Excuse me, do you know if there’ll be tickets at the door?

Security guard: [Incomprehensible - he’s speaking at close distance and a bus is freshly pulling up behind me, so I can’t hear them. He goes inside and shuts the door as soon as he says his piece.]

Girl: He doesn’t know. What am I going to tell my friends.

Me: Oh my God did you not get tickets.

Girl: My friends did! I was meant to get in early and get the drinks and stuff oh my God I DIDN’T KNOW THEY WERE GOING TO BE SOLD OUT 😰

Me: DIDN’T THEY SAY THERE WOULD BE A LIMITED RELEASE THOUGH 😰

By this time we’re both mired in anxiety.txt and others were coming forwards with the same experience. A group of three girls who got there shortly after me were all waiting for door tickets, and a guy came along who had a ticket for himself but was trying to get his friend (Asian girl, very pretty) in. (I will see this friend repeatedly throughout the show, but not the dude.) Eventually we looked up what the Electric Brixton website had to say, and gathered that a very limited number of tickets were available and they were all here at the right time to purchase it. As far as I know, everyone there got in without trouble.

First release tickets were £15.00. Later I was told it was £25.00 at the door.

Yeesh.

9:50PM: They finally open up the queue barriers. I’m fourth. Several of us in the line take a poll on who we’re here to see:

Pedro: ///

Breakbot: //

Sebastian: ////

Riton: /

Vladimir:

Myd: /

‘Everyone’: //

‘I’m here because of my friends’: /

The girl in the above section answered with the last one. Ed Banger rookie. Writing this now, I’m sure she had the time of her life.

I say Sebastian. Two guys in front of me nod sagely. One of them wears a Woman Worldwide T-shirt and a Justice logo jacket. We mutually express wonder that Seb’s, like. Doing anything again. At this point, however, the queue is split into two: ticketed and buying at the door, on the opposite end of the entrance. The girl and I say farewells as she departs for the latter. Unfortunately, I do not get to see her again. It’s a shame. She was lovely.

9:55PM: Security emerges with QR code readers and club stamps and starts to call us in go go go go go go go go

9:58~PM: The bouncer initiating pat down pauses over my portable battery for a very long time, seemingly considering whether that’s legal. Fuck my life. Eventually, though, he lets me in and I s p r i n t for the bar.

It has begun.

A note before I start: like the XOYO gig review last year, this review has been composed via rough notes, photos, and videos I took through the show. It was a longer night than last year, and everyone played for a lengthy period of time; this review is thus split into six sections, one for each DJ, including timestamped observations and photos/gifs of the night.

The gifs are taken from my own videos. Unfortunately, Electric Brixton’s setup made photography difficult for three reasons: 1) an abundance of flashing lights, 2) the elevation difference between the dancefloor and the DJ booth, unlike in XOYO where there was no audience-DJ divide, and 3) smoke machines, as well as actual vapers in the form of Sebastian Akchoté. Those three things make a mess onscreen, so images are potato quality compared to where I was (front center). This was a constant problem during the night, so instead of complaining about it with every DJ, I’ll just refer to this as the I Cannot See For Shit (ICSFS) syndrome and call it a day.

Busy P (10PM to 11:50~PM)

10PM: Mother fucking sons of bitches raised the price of water!

As mentioned in the TBB review, a 500ml bottle of water at Electric Brixton was £3.00 in 2017. (Even in 2019, at a supermarket it can be as little as 55p/500ml.) Harsh, but it is what you’d expect from London. But when I came back they’d raised it to a whopping £3.60. You could buy yourself a meal with that kind of money, albeit a small one, even for London. Disgusting.

But what can you do with something as necessary as water. I did expect it. I’m sore about it, is all.

10:05PM: Restroom visited, water bought and tucked into bag, jacket tied around waist. I was wearing armwarmers. I take my place by the barriers, front row center, with a guy on my left and an empty space on my right. Left-hand arrangement will not change during the night, while on the right it will be chaos.

10:10PM: Very superstitious / nothin' more to say / very superstitious / the devil's on his way / thirteen month old baby / broke the lookin' glass / seven years of bad luck / good things in your past

This is my first video of the night. Might upload it later.

10:21PM: USE IMAGINATION 💫 AS A DESTINATION 💘 USE IMAGINATION 💫 AS A DESTINATIoOoON 💘 USE IMAGINATION AND COME CLooOoOSER 👄✨ 👄 FOREVER BEEEEE 😘 😘💋

‘Pleasure’ summons the two dudes I was talking to in the queue to my right, especially the Justice fan guy. They stuck with me through Pedro’s set.

10:30~PM: Pedro looks a lot happier than he did at XOYO last year. He’s interacting a lot with fans, smiling, bopping about the way we have all come to expect from him.

10:40PM: I see the first glimpse of another DJ hanging around at the back. It’s Myd, drinking in a corner.

10:50PM: Is that what I think it is. I think it’s what I think it is

10:51PM: POP THE GLOCK THE GLOCK YOU POP IF YOU OUTTA LINE IT’S YOU I’LL BANG POP POP THE GLOCK THE GLOCK YOU POP IF YOU OUTTA LINE IT’S YOU I’LL BANG POP

Fantastic to hear some Uffie in the mix. I missed her so damn much. I think I might upload that clip as well because I want to share the experience with y’alls.

10:54PM: Thibaut jitterbugs into the scene. The lighting’s too bad for a photo so I post about it on the hellsite instead.

11:19PM: The display in front of the DJ booth has remained constant until this point, displaying the Ed Banger logo with only the occasional change in lighting. But now the display suddenly starts changing. Check it out.

It got really trippy with Breakbot.

11:29PM: ‘Genie’ comes on. I can see Thibaut and Irfane at the back now, ready to take over. I take my first drink since I entered the club.

11:52PM: HE PUT ON ‘BURNIN’. HE ACTUALLY DID THAT.

Pedro picks up the mic at this point and greets us for the first time during the night. I have what he said on video but it’s hard for me to transcribe it over all the audience noise, it might have to be an upload later on; I have videos of most DJ-DJ segues of this night, so hopefully that should be an interesting exercise. According to the timestamp on this video, 11:52-53PM is when Thibaut put on the headphones and took over from Pedro, but he continues to linger

11:55PM:

just so he can cOMPLETELY LOSE HIS SHIT APPARENTLY.

Breakbot (Thibaut and Irfane) (11:50~PM to 1:30AM)

12:00AM: At midnight Thibaut and Irfane take over fully with ‘Break of Dawn’. There’s something wild about listening to people sing a song with no lyrics (da DA DA DA darararaRA).

12:05AM: Irfane was on serious mode all night. I’ve also realized that the light situation is not going to get better; if it was Pedro alone I could have forgotten about it, but Breakbot’s set was where the ICSFS got really, really bad. There are so many photos where I tried to capture beautiful moments between Thibaut and Irfane, as they were quite touchy with one another (not as much as they were at XOYO tho), and yet it all turned to shit. I’m so sad.

12:10~AM: The two dudes to the right of me leave. The music is most funky fresh and the smoke machines are on max, so much I cannot actually see either of the DJs on scene. A girl wearing light blue takes over to my right.

I think Electric Brixton has reached full capacity. It’s not a big venue, fitting only about 2000 people or so, but I can feel it in the air. I look behind me and all around me are unfamiliar faces, packed tightly in a crowd. It’s hot. I take off my armwarmers and cram them into my bag.

12:16AM: Irfane baby I love you but that was not a smooth segue.

(I don’t actually know what song he was on but the music like. Stopped 100% for a second. It didn’t sound intentional.)

12:25AM: I have a note on my phone that says ‘12:25 Pedro making heart’. I have no memory of this. Fangirl magistralucis what are your secrets.

12:30AM: you 😍💖 are all I think about 😍✨😍✨😍 keep me sulking and down 😘👇🏼 but you fill me with 🔥 so much 🔥 emotion 😳💖😳 and I’ll show my 🙏🏼🕊💐 devotion 💐🕊🙏🏼 to you ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

12:31AM: I cannot see for shit. Here have a light show I guess.

12:36AM: Dance, dance with me / Life's a fantasy / Stand next to me / Like ecstasy

12:48AM: Irfane puts on ‘Funkytown’. Thibaut dances beautifully. I’ll drink to that.

12:51AM:

What the hell is this?

1:07AM: Extra, extra, read all about it! The Mysterious Ninth Planet, located at last! Turns out it was in the hands of funky Frenchmen all along, who were hoarding not just the ninth planet, but ALL THE PLANETS

1:08AM: You may have seen what was happening during the above in Irfane’s instastory, actually. He put on ‘Le Freak’. I wonder whether I should upload this clip from where I was.

1:10AM:

?????

1:20AM: Pedro comes back into view. I try to film him but it doesn’t work out, and for once it had nothing to do with ICSFS. The girl to the right of me, who was rocking out for all of Breakbot’s set, is beginning to slump over on the railing. "Are you okay?” I call, but I don’t think she heard. From how rapidly it came on, how she could barely stand during the first five minutes of VC’s set, and how frantically her and her friends left afterwards (she could barely walk), it is quite possible she was going into diabetic shock. She did not return.

This is a known issue. You generally cannot bring food into London clubs, even if you’re diabetic. Electric Brixton had a complaint two years ago that a diabetic person was not permitted to bring in their food to prevent this exact thing happening. I hope whatever she had wasn’t that serious, but. I do wonder.

This leads to a note about security, I suppose. There were none up front by the barriers. There was no one to call for help to, except for maybe the stage photographers, and that’s not what they’re trained to do. People who were falling sick or too inebriated to stand would have benefited from having security help them beyond the barrier straight away, instead of having to wade their way back through a tight crowd.

This continued to be a problem.

1:20~AM: Vladimir Cauchemar is visible. He doesn’t have the skull mask on, but with something smooth concealing his face, kind of like the Taikobots of Danger’s Taiko-era set. When he takes over he has put the mask on.

Vladimir Cauchemar (1:30AM to 2:30AM)

1:30AM: I gotta say, VC was the easiest and the best to photograph in this show, and I both respect and resent that fact.

VC’s lighting stayed a consistent red and black through his set, similar to how it was at XOYO, and the clearest images I have of the night are of him. I’m still not over his collab with 6**9*** so my impression of him isn’t out of the woods yet, which is why my notes for him are brief.

I tell you what, though. He got the crowd going. VC was the first DJ to get the dude standing to the left of me dancing, and this is the dude who stayed the entire eight hours of the night by my side while on my right people faded in, faded out, barged into places. (Dude was holding out for Sebastian, but stuck around for all of Myd as well.) His set had serious limitations - the most gregarious sin of which I’ve noted down below - but he had a great stage personality. I have very mixed feelings.

Still didn’t prevent me from standing out certain songs to go on Russian duolingo, but that was my pride.

1:35AM: ‘Aulos’ comes on. I will upload that video because I might as well, I’ve little else videoed for VC. Someone taps my shoulder. It’s the friend of the dude whom I encountered outside, the Asian girl. “Can I put this here?” She calls, and places her coat down beyond the barrier; there are steps on the other side where you can place your drinks, bags, coats etc if you’re front row. She withdraws behind me afterwards, and when I next look back, she’s gone.

1:40AM: I’m honestly surprised how many people are digging VC’s set. He was not first choice for anyone I asked.

1:51AM: Vladimir, Aulos is great but not twice in the same set.

2:00AM: Third drink of the night. My legs are getting numb. The first 3-4 hours of a set are always the hardest. I don’t remember what VC was playing. At several points he played Michael Jackson but I have no record of when. I stood still to rest my legs and distracted myself with other pursuits.

2:18AM:

Hi I’m in this photo and I don’t like it.

2:26AM: VLADIMIR. AULOS IS GREAT, BUT NOT THRICE IN THE SAME SET.

This. This is the major problem with his set. I know it’s his biggest hit, but VC exploits ‘Aulos’ way too much, and from what I hear he essentially does this for every set he plays. Would it injure him to play a different song every now and then. Seriously. There are so many excellent songs in the world, and some of them might even be ones he’ll drop in the future. Why stick to ‘Aulos’ alone. I don’t get it.

2:26~AM: As I was noting down the third instance of ‘Aulos’, the girl who put her coat down returned. “Can I have my coat back?” She calls over the sound, and I peer over. I can’t see the coat. The red spotlight passes over the floor; the coat’s rolled off the steps and is now lying on the ground.

“I can’t reach it.” I shout. “It’s fallen off.”

“Oh no.” She shouts.

“Can you wait until the segue?”

She shakes her head. “I’ll go over the barrier, but thanks.”

I offer to help her over, but she doesn’t think she'll make it. She ducks out past the crowd and goes around the side instead (no security to stop her), runs over to grab her coat, and then leaves straight away. She’ll be back for Sebastian’s set, but now it’s Riton time.

Riton (2:30AM to 3:30AM)

I didn’t enjoy Riton’s set very much. This had 0% to do with his music and everything to do with the chaos on my right-hand side, which made it worse. If it was the artist that was bad you chalk it up to a mismatch in interests, but knowing other concertgoers unilaterally deprived you of a good experience is a unique level of terrible. There are no timestamps for this section because I was too busy keeping an eye on my surroundings to take notes; he was also afflicted with the ICSFS, which didn’t help, but it’s a darn shame how much I missed out.

Oh and that too. That was his light show. Riton was a special guest and his name/logo was the dominant display for the entirety of his set. But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about the chip on my shoulder.

Here’s the thing. I attend most of the gigs I go to by myself. I prefer it that way because I get anxious when things go wrong. I have a very specific set of items I bring with me to concerts, and practice very meticulous timekeeping. One of the rules I observe during gigs is that I do not move from my position: I prefer front centre or front centre-right generally, but wherever it is, I stay put.

I am not a tall woman. If I lose my place, it is unlikely I’d get it back. I’m full of anxiety about being at my place, but I’m more anxious to avoid losing it, so I defend it with all my might. I have never lost my place in almost ten years and this show was no exception. But my goodness did the guys to my right push my buttons this time. The guy who was to the right of me for Riton was with a group, all of whom were banging on the barriers and creating a ruckus. Just my luck he was the only one who seemed actually inebriated. He kept putting his head down on the railing, slumped over for minutes at a time, before suddenly raving and flailing around whenever Riton dropped a beat. He had no consideration for whoever he was accidentally knocking about (i.e. me) during this. And as I said, there was no security up front, so I was on my own.

At first I had some sympathy, because I still wasn’t over the girl who left earlier. I’ve never seen people who were inebriated/high during shows last very long where they were, either. But the fifteenth time dude nearly poked my eye out, it was just too much. I do not like people prodding their way into my personal space. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.

The last time I had to be vicious with a concertgoer was at TBB, where a ginger-haired girl kept on trying to tear people from their place up front, and eventually was ejected by security after she got into a catfight with another girl next to me. Apparently this time it was my turn to give into Righteously Indignant Bitch Hours and the next time he started flailing his arm into my neck, I grabbed him and slammed his hand onto the railing and shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.”

I wish I could say this made him stop. However, life is dumb. Dude was too out of it to comprehend his own actions, let alone my complaints. His friends pulled him out of the front row for about five minutes but then he came staggering back, muttering something about his lens cap (?) and if I’d seen it. It wasn’t long before he began to barge into the surrounding people again. Only elbows were the solution; I can barely move my right arm even now, it feels so bruised. I’m not proud of what I did, but I’m not sure what I could have done differently, and I would do the same even now.

But, you know. It could have been worse. If you’ve been front row, you know there’s a difference between those who’re trying to grab a good time and those who act out of malice. The former usually try to sneak a hand in next to yours on the railing, or crash into you from the back, or wedge their way in - but they almost always follow it up with an apology, and they tend to carve out their own little space, not actively steal yours. Yes I’m talking about that ginger-haired girl at the TBB show again. I’ve attended full on firebreathing industrial metal shows at much bigger, suffocating venues, and yet those audiences still managed to avoid being vicious and petty. She was the worst. Holy shit. It’s been two years and I’m still mad. Fucking bitch I hope you step in a puddle. What was I writing about again? Oh yeah the dude. He wasn’t acting out of malice, but out of irresponsibility. And to be honest, his friends weren’t that better, save for a girl who was about five feet eight tall and complimented that I was still standing later in the set: “I had to sit down after Thibaut and you’re still jumping like nothing happened!”

That made me think about my own stamina. I never thought I had much. I’m twenty-five years old. I’m in my prime, but I had more energy when I was eighteen, and I am old enough to keep that in mind. I’m not getting younger. After a show I’m bruised and my muscles ache and I pass out asleep for hours at a time. I’m usually awake for 30hrs~ during those times. I don’t eat or drink much before shows to prevent bathroom breaks. I ate on 3:30pm on the 25th and didn’t touch a single morsel of food again until 7am on the 26th, and even then it was a sandwich. After dancing for eight hours.

It’s been that way for years. But maybe most people? Don’t? Do that? And maybe I am? Actually quite strong? For regularly surviving what I do to myself?

I don’t know. Let’s move onto what I think 70% of you are here to read about.

Sebastian (3:30AM to 4:30AM)

3:30AM: Predictably, Sebastian gets the loudest cheers of the night when he comes on. Riton announces him and passes him the headphones. He still does the hand thing, by the way.

This thing.

3:30~AM: Not an observation of the moment, but of the entire set. Seb played some big name EDM songs and what I believe are versions of his YLS tracks. He was the only set I wanted to record in full, but I wasn’t tall enough and my equipment wasn’t good enough to do so. ICSFS is in play. I sort of hoped he'd stuck with his vicious red lighting from Primary Tour, and he did, but not to a degree where I could get good shots of him.

Is anyone excited for him to drop an album this year or what. Pedro said he would.

3:38AM: Seb also has the dubious honour of being the only DJ who contributed extra to the ICSFS problem. He vapes through the entire set. I have lots of feelings and I don’t know what to do with myself honestly.

3:39AM: Neither do the dudes to my right. They are the friends of the inebriated dude who has since staggered off into the crowd. They are completely losing their shit, screaming and taking their shirts off and kicking at the barriers. They contributed to some of the bruises on my right arm. But they still didn’t take my place so whatever.

3:40~AM: Seb is not a smiler. Photographer comes by and he gives him a single glance before turning back. I don’t know why I’m surprised.

3:43AM: The Asian girl with the coat from earlier comes back. She asks me to deposit a different layer of coat this time over the barrier, and stands behind me. I feel very protected.

3:50~AM: Balm to aid my pain: photographers start coming down from the stage to pass out Ed Banger pins and stickers. The first lot are thrown into the audience, but the second photographer takes the time to give all of us one. This is the first time I’ve scored thrown Ed Banger merch during a set. I usually can’t reach them because I am smol.

I am also bonding with the dude to my left during this time. We collaborate to catch the pins we want and share them out between the two of us. He gets the Ed Banger melody logo pin, and gives me the Ed Banger 15 Ans pin. “Are you sure?” I ask. He smiles and nods. I thank him and hand him a Breakbot sticker, one that’s of his name.

4:06AM: What the fuck the lights are changing

4:06AM: Is that

4:06AM: IT IS

4:07AM: IT’S JUSTICE. IT’S HEAVY METAL. SEB’S PLAYING HEAVY METAL AND HE’S DOING THE HAND THING AND THE LIGHT SHOW’S TRIPPY AS FUCK ALL OF A SUDDEN AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING AND THE DUDE LEFT OF ME IS DECLARING HIS LOVE FOR SEB IN FRENCH AND I AM SCREAMING OH MY FUCKING GOD

4:09AM: HE SEGUES TO ROLLIN’ AND SCRATCHIN’. HE LITERALLY DID THAT. SEBASTIAN AKCHOTE IS PLAYING ROLLIN’ AND SCRATCHIN’ AND WE’RE ALL GOING BATSHIT INSANE. I’M SORRY FOR THE BAD CAMERA WORK. THIS IS HOW I DIE.

4:15~AM: Myd is finally going back and forth. He will close the night after Sebastian has finished his set. Looking back on the videos of the night, I can’t believe he only played for an hour; it felt a bit longer than that, Sebastian never let up for a single second as long as he was onstage. Not a single minute wasted. And now you’re going to have to excuse me babes because he’s puttING ON STRESS AND WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE AGAIN RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW

4:24AM: AAAAAAAAAAAA

(Seb’s still playing Stress. Looping the chainsaw noises. Steady camera work lmao what steady camera work)

4:30AM: Sebastian hands over the reins to Myd at this point. I do not have a video of this segue because he does not announce the takeover; with one of his inscrutable hand gestures and a proud look, Sebastian takes up a whole bottle of wine and silently walks offstage. Again, I don’t know why I am remotely surprised. That is probably the most Seb thing I have seen Seb do all night, and it was a night extremely full of Seb things.

At this point I stop jotting down notes on my phone. But I’m at about 58% battery and going strong, so I’m still taking photos and videos whenever I can. Myd’s section is reconstructed from these records.

Myd (Round 2) (4:30~AM to 6:00AM)

4:30~AM: Not a specific observation. As mentioned in the Breakbot review of May 2018, I have unfinished business with Myd. Or at least: had. Myd played the closer in XOYO last year, and back then I was weak and I could not stay through his entire set. I swore to myself the next time he returned, and I was able to see him, I would last as long as he was onstage.

And I did. That’s one promise to myself kept, and what I hope was a little justice done for a DJ of Myd’s caliber.

4:35AM: Coat girl taps my shoulder again. “I’m going home. Could you...?” She gestures to the barrier, and I reach down and pull up her coat. It didn’t roll onto the ground this time.

“There you are.” I say. She takes it and gives me a hug. “Have a good night.”

“Have a good night!” Then she’s gone, alongside the exodus of people who are leaving the club. More people stuck around for Myd here than in XOYO. Guy to my left nudges me to look; stickers are coming around again, specifically the ‘Hello My Name Is _______ [Myd]’ one. We each take one.

4:44AM: I’m out of water. Actually I was out of water immediately before Seb finished, because for some reason I thought downing the last of my only means of hydration with over 1h 30mins to go was a sensible thing to do. I regret this decision bitterly, but I’ll probably survive.

4:58AM:

@_@

5:03AM: It is very difficult for me to ID Myd’s tracks. I suspect a lot of them are original or are from his recent release that I haven’t yet listened to. Appropriate to a closer, he takes a very trance-inspired line to his entire set, with lots of repetition and few loud drops; this was the same in XOYO. I wonder what a Myd headliner set must be like.

5:10~AM: The guy to the left of me is struggling. So am I. But further to his left, there is a guy slumped on the rails. His girlfriend is beside him. They’ve been there all night, but they’ve clearly reached their limit. My right hand side keeps refilling and emptying as people step away or leave.

I talk about that other guy because he summons Thibaut to him.

5:28AM: I took several vids of this but this timestamp belongs to the longest. Thibaut comes back with his own phone to film the audience. He winks and shyly gestures all of us to gather our strengths and be more pumped up, and I recall we obliged him because he asked so nicely. He lingered for some time, gazing at us as fondly as we were gazing at him. He then looked at the guy slumped over on the railing and hopped down from the stage, gently patting his shoulder to talk to him.

I didn’t hear any of their conversation, save for Thibaut asking the dude ‘where he was from’. By the way he clasped his hand to his chest several times, though, I’m inclined to think he was really concerned about the guy. They eventually shook hands and Thibaut made as if to hop back onstage. (The photo was taken as he was leaving.)

Except he couldn’t jump that high. He gave us another shy look and braced his foot against the barriers, perching neatly on the stage before clambering up. He stuck around for about five more minutes to check up on the audience.

I love Thibaut so much. He’s so gentle.

5:34~AM: Holy fuck my bag is full of crap. I haven’t organized it in some time. Discarded cups, beer cans etc have accumulated by my feet, and as I kick them away I’m trying to check my loot is in place and I still have my items. I can’t feel my passport and my blood runs cold for a moment. I turn the camera flash on to look.

“Are you looking for something?” The guy to my left asks worriedly.

I feel my passport in my front pocket. False alarm. “Just organizing my bag.”

(I didn’t see any lost foreign ID or driver licenses on the floor this time.)

5:43AM:

Russian duolingo says fuck millennial lives

5:50~AM: The smoke machine is turned off. I still can’t see for shit, though, because the lights flash rapidly between deep blue and violet and Myd’s hidden behind it.

My last video of the night is timestamped 5:55AM. Myd has a most benevolent smile on his face. He knows the night is drawing to a close.

6:00AM: I did it.

We made it.

I have made it through a Myd set fully and have survived the night.

Myd finished exactly at 6am and exited to a crowd of applause. There are calls for an encore, but given that it's... like, literally morning, it’s not realistic to expect him to stay any longer. Security comes by as soon as he exits, and we all leave Electric Brixton behind at last. The sun has not yet risen. I fall in step with the guy next to me.

Guy: Where are you heading to?

Me: Coach. I came up from Brighton.

Guy: From Brighton?! Was that last night or what?

Me: Yep, two hours before the show. I haven’t eaten or slept all night.

Guy: Wow. [Pause.] Though I think that’s the longest I’ve danced in my entire life, too.

Me: You’re not kidding. I really didn’t think I was going to last beyond Sebastian.

I think he was a Londoner. We say farewells in front of the Electric Brixton bus stop, and I leave for the Underground. My legs are numb and I can barely walk, but somehow I stumble past the barriers and sink into the seats of the train. Back at Victoria Train Station I drop in at Sainsburys for a sandwich and two cans of grape soda, and then realizing I need a resealable container to take on the bus, buy a bottle of Pepsi. The grape soda was just because I really love grape soda and I cannot find a place in Brighton that sells any. It was around 8AM when I finally got on the coach back home.

I had not slept for some twenty hours. I continued to not sleep on the bus. I tried very hard to, but I couldn’t, because I was still buzzing from the adrenaline. It wasn’t until I got home, just after 11AM, that I began to feel sleepy for real. Sig. other made me a cup of tea, and I took the interval to admire some cat slippersocks that had arrived for me in the meantime.

LOOK AT IT.

Overall I’d say this was a fantastic night. I have taken care of unfinished business and seen Sebastian in the flesh. I have, however, come away with another unfinished business to replace the deal with Myd - I should seek out Riton again, the next time he comes here, and deliver a full review of what that was like. To think of the Ed Banger crew making their way across Europe in 2019, with new material and a new Sebastian in tow...

😍😍😍

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osakajack · 7 years

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Hernia Monday

So, since there’s a lot to say, I’ll try typing it here.

First off, I’m okay now. I’m in pain, but not too much. I have trouble standing/sitting/getting around, but that’ll fade with time.

Monday morning I woke early. Kitty has not been doing well, and did not respond to the new medicine at all. I asked for an enema, but the vet wanted to try the medicine first. He was pretty sure it’s kidney disease. The plan was to leave her there Monday morning, head to work, teach 3 lessons, then my boss would drive me back to the vet, pick her up, and assist as translator for that really difficult conversation every pet owner should be somewhat prepared to have. Then we’d take Persia (my cat) back to my apt, let her out, return to work, teach the last 3 classes, then head home, possibly to spend one more night and morning with Persia, then take her in on Wednesday to be put to sleep.

That was the plan. The fact that I can tell you that Persia responded VERY well to the enema and is eating now is great, but that was still just about the worst Monday I’ve ever had means other crap happened.

Some years ago, I got a hernia. Not going to go into TOO much gross detail, but if you don’t know, it’s when your abdominal muscle wall gets a hole, and your intestine pokes through, but your skin is still in place. (Good going, skin. Thanks for holding me together. You did your job well.) I didn’t notice when I got the hernia. I can think of a few instances where it might have happened, but I honestly don’t know. Few years ago, I felt a bump on my stomach, and went to the hospital (in Japan, you don’t go to a doctor- you go to a hospital, for emergency and non-emergency events alike) and got a CT scan. Yup, hernia. But not a big one. The doctor said that fixing it would require surgery, and a stay at the hospital for a few days at least. However, since it didn’t hurt, and wasn’t that large, he told me that I could just go about my life normally, provided it didn’t hurt. If it hurt, I had to return at once.

Monday, right before the first class started, it started hurting. A lot. Sometimes, if it grew uncomfortable, lying down on the floor and massaging would help it “pop” back in for a short time, and I could continue as normal. Not happening this time. The bump was big, it hurt a lot. Pushing on it didn’t increase the pain. It felt like there was a massive pressure building up right under my belly button. I tried to teach for about 5min, but couldn’t. My student is very understanding (he’s kind of a giant pothead, so he’s always laid back), and I messaged my boss that I was in pain. A minute later, I said that I needed an ambulance.

At our school, we have a teacher for the after school program. She’s very nice & is one of my adult students on Wednesday. My boss was still driving back, so After School teacher called the ambulance, gave them directions on how to get to the school. They arrived within 5min. As I was lying in the back, I gave my key and some money to my boss to pick up Persia as planned and just put her in my apt. I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to get home.

I... cannot express how deeply grateful I am to both my boss and the After School teacher. Boss stayed at work, started calling all of my students to cancel, After School teacher rode in the ambulance with me. The hospital I had been diagnosed with the hernia was my first choice, and, as all of my info was in their system, they agreed to take me in.

They did a CT scan, saw that the hernia had gotten big enough that part of the intestine had started looping around. Food was getting caught in there- couldn’t head back in the body. It would keep expanding until... well, nothing good could come from it. They decided that emergency surgery was the best option.

A problem arose- a specific part they needed, they were out of. They estimated it’d take 3hrs to get one. Checking my lungs, heart, etc would take one hour, so there’s still be 2hrs of waiting. Not great, but not horrible.

They asked me about rooms. In this hospital, if you go for a group room, there will be 3 other patients in the room, you’ll share a bathroom, share a nurse team. HOWEVER, these rooms are free of charge. OR I could get a private room at ￥10,000 a night (about $100). Still a steal compared to US prices, but I’m poor, so I agreed to have roommates.

After School teacher was still there, helping me. In tears, I relayed to her the plan for Persia. I asked her to beg the doctor to let me go home on Tuesday, even for a short time, so I could say goodbye. I showed pics of Persia to the doc. He smiled and said that it would be HIGHLY irregular, but, if I was healing well enough, after surgery, I’d go to the ICU for the night, then he’d let me “retrieve personal items” from my apt, then come back. wink wink nudge nudge

After checking that my lungs and heart and blood all worked, they wheeled me up to my room. Turns out, coughcoughcough, all of the shared rooms were full right then, so they upgraded me to a private room for free. I was so appreciative.

At the room, they shaved my stomach, made me change out of work clothes into hospital gear. Their largest stuff JUST fit me, though we gave up on the pajama pants. I’d have to just wear boxers. As I finished changing into those, the part they needed arrived. My wait went from expected 2hrs to 5min.

Since I’d be put under general anesthetic, someone had to wait for me. After School teacher, and later my boss were there in the waiting room the whole time. They found my vein, gave me an IV drip, and wheeled me into the surgery room as the medicine was inserted into me.

A tip for you. If possible, right before you surgery, ask each doctor and nurse their name and shake their hand. It astonished them, but they relaxed a bit. I was their first foreigner to be working on. I thanked them and wished them the best of luck.

Side note- screw grumpy anesthetic doctors. He decided my airway wasn’t as wide as he liked, so he jammed a metal cervix opener down there & sprayed numbing agent. I almost choked. A few times.

But the medicine did its job, and I was OUT. Didn’t even feel sleepy, just fine, then every nerve was a sparkly buzz, then whole body numb and BAM, I was out. I vaguely remember speaking to boss & After School teacher afterwards. Persia was doing okay, they were putting me in ICU, I’d have to be there all night.

I think I got to the ICU at 8:30. So, the surgery took about 3 hours. No complications, everything went fine. The ICU was silent all night. I faded in and out of sleep, grumpy that I couldn’t use my phone in there, nor could I drink and water until 11, but fine otherwise.

In the morning, the doctor returned and checked me out. I was doing great. I could turn to the side on my own, and even sit up with some help. They were unabashedly amazed. They didn’t expect that for a day or so. I tell you, when kitty cuddles are on the line, my mutant healing factor kicks in. Around 10, my boss arrived and talked to the doctor. He said that, PROVIDED I relax and don’t push it, he’d be okay with discharging me right then. I agreed.

So, I’m home at the apt now. I have pain pills & healing medicine I have to take 3 times a day, I move very slowly, but I can move, and I return there Monday to check on things.

My boss, god bless her, paid my bill at the hospital before I was aware she was doing it.

A quick word- Japan has universal health care, 30/70. The gov’t will pay 70% of any medical expense you incur, you pay 30. But beyond that, drug companies & insurance companies are not allowed to run hospitals, so costs stay low. Also, ambulances are FREE in this country. (The EMTs are astounded when they hear how much Americans pay.)

So, the total cost. Ambulance, CT scan, X-rays, blood tests, breathing tests, heart rate tests, emergency surgery under full anesthesia, 14 hours in ICU (with 2 pain medications), and a week’s worth of pain pills and healing medicine, TOTAL was ￥130,000 ($1300).

BUT WAIT. My boss knew I was tired, but highly recommended we go to the city office at once. Turns out, if your salary is low and the health cost of a sudden incident was high, you can get a partial refund. They decided that I will get ￥70,000 ($700) back from the hospital.

Total cost, $600.

I so hope the US starts getting this type of medical coverage. It saved my life twice today, once through surgery, and then through not bankrupting me.

I’m sore, but hanging in there. Gassy, but nobody else lives here. Extremely grateful to have such amazing co-worker and boss. Thankful I have some time to snuggle kitty. Oh, kitty perked right up after the enema. She’s eating again, moving around. I think the sad conversation is not far off, but not this week.

Thanks for all the messages of concern, care, and support, you guys. I really appreciate them.

-OJ

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storytimecatb · 7 years

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Someone requested quite some time ago for something that would cheer them up. I'm sorry it took so long, tbh this cheered me up. So I hope it does the same for you ❤ even though you're probably cheery now. Haha Again I'm sorry. ---- The weather out was beautiful. The sun was shining and the sun catchers on your front room window were shooting rays of rainbows all over the room. "It's gorgeous out Van! Let's go for a walk or to the beach!" He was wearing his comfy clothes and had his head buried in his notebook writing up some new songs. You weren't sure if he heard you or not. So you asked again "Babe? Did you hear me? Do you wanna go out?" His eyes shot up at you and he shut the book "Huh? Sorry, love! I had to write that down before I forgot... what was it you were saying?" It slightly annoyed you to have to repeat yourself, but you knew how engrossed he became when it came to music. "I was saying we should go out and enjoy the weather... maybe the beach?" You smiled big hoping to convince him. "Yeah, we could do that." He looked out the window "Oh wow. It is really nice out innit? Okay let me get changed and we'll head out." He got off the sofa, gave you a small kiss and went into the bedroom. A few seconds later he was calling for you "Love!!!! Did you see my grey dress shirt?" You took a second to think but you weren't sure which shirt he was talking about. "What brand was it?" He wasn't answering, so you got up to help him look. He tore out his side of the closet "I can't find it." You had to think a bit before remembering what happened to it. "Hey babe, remember that night you and Bondy got shit faced... you came back and something was spilled all over the front of it. I couldn't get the stain out, so I binned it." He stopped rummaging through the pile of clothes on the floor "Oh. Well then, I just made a huge mess for nothing." He sat in front of the pile in defeat, "Alright. Well I'll just wear this one." He started putting on a deep red dress shirt, "I like that colour on you, Van." He smiled "Thanks, y/n. I guess I should clean up my mess." You weren't bothered by it "I'll help you clean it up when we get back, is that alright?" He paused to take a look at it again "You sure? It won't take me long." You were eager to get out of the house "No really, its fine. We'll clean it later on alright?" He shrugged "Alright then." You grabbed a light blanket for youse to sit on at the beach. It was different shades of blue and had a giant mandala on it. You both got into the car, Van drove and you threw the blanket in the back seat. "Which beach are we going to?" With the nice weather you knew the nearby beaches would be buzzin with people. But that would mean people would recognize Van, and you wanted a quiet day. "Let's go to the one by Belle's Pointe" he shot you a surprised look, you knew why he did it too. "Babe, that's like almost 2hrs out." You shrugged "Its an hour and a half if you drive fast enough." He laughed "Well alright then speed racer!" When you got to the beach there were only a couple people. It was guaranteed that nobody wanted to drive two hours just two sit around at a beach. You and Van both had your swimwear on underneath your regular clothing "wanna go for a dip, love?" You set up the umbrella and laid down the blanket "Yeah in a bit, come here. I need to put sunscreen on you, you're gonna look like a tomato if you don't. I know you forgot to." He blushed and stood before you as you covered him in the sunscreen. "I didn't forget.... I was enjoying the weather. Ya know? Maybe I wanted to tan!" You let out a little chuckle "Van, you're so god damn white. You'll fucking burn and turn red." He turned around so you could get his back "Yeah yeah." You gave him a pat on the shoulder signalling you were done. "Alright. Piss off now!" He turned and wrapped his arms around you "You're so fucking rude. But I love you." You gave him a kiss "Yeah, I love you too." "You gonna come in the water?" He knew you couldn't swim and that you would stand there wading in the water "No. Maybe later if I get too warm. But I'm going to sit here and listen to music if that's alright." He was already in the water "Alright love!" He pushed his hair out of his face with hand. The sand was almost white and it was so soft. You listened to The Kooks while watching Van swim around in the blue water. Everything was going well, until you looked over at Van. He had his arms waving in the air and was trying to run to shore in the water. You popped out your headphones "ARE YOU OKAY?!?" He got to land and was shuddering "Ughhhh fucking hell. I'm not sure if that was a fish or seaweed but it touched me." He looked so disgusted and uncomfortable. "Oh shit. I thought it was something serious." You burst out laughing "Water is just a big mystery ain't it?" He stood before the glittering water, walked away and sat next to you. "Yeah. I think I'm done in here. Gonna hang with you, that alright?" The "t" at the end of alright was none existent when he said it. "Yeah that's okay." He was dripping water all over your phone "Couldn't you have dried off a bit first before giving my phone water damage?" He put his sunglasses on and grabbed your phone. "Put it in your God damn bag and spend time with me!" He stuck it in your bag. "Yeah, okay then." He rolled on top of you getting you wet too. "That's the reason you wanted to come way the hell out here, innit Y/N?" The water coming off of him cooled you down, you took the sunglasses off his face "Don't hide your eyes from me, I like seeing them." There wasn't anyone nearby so PDA was acceptable, he started kissing your neck leaving tiny marks. But it started tickling and you couldn't help but giggle "Okay enough." He smiled, "So you didn't answer me... that's why you wanted to come out here right?" He held your hand and kissed it "Yeah, well... we wouldn't have been able to do this." He nodded and sat up lighting a smoke "Are you okay with it?" You weren't sure what he was asking "The fans?" He exhaled and laid back down "Yeah, like it doesn't bother you too much does it?" "Not a whole lot. But sometimes I like to be selfish and have you all to myself.. is that a bad thing?" He kissed you on the forehead "Of course not. I just wanna make sure that you're doing okay." He was sweet that way. He would ask this question every couple months. It was probably reassuring for him to hear you weren't annoyed with being in a relationship with someone who was quickly becoming well-known. If anything you were proud of him, and the band. "Should we head back now? Maybe drive a bit slower and enjoy the ride?" You started packing up the things "Yeah, suns gonna be setting soon. I hadn't realized how long we've been here." The air was a lot cooler than when you first got there and it sent a shiver down your spine "You cold, love? Here." He put his shirt on you. "I think my shirts look way better on you." He winked and bit his lip "Are you serious right now, Van? Get in the car, we gotta get home and clean your mess." A look on his face said he suddenly remembered that he tore apart the bedroom for a shirt. "I might buy that same shirt.... I liked it." Or he was thinking about buying the same shirt. You rolled your eyes "You're cute." When you got home you felt super tired. Van took the bags from you "Have a seat love, I'll run a bath for you." He ran off to the bathroom after putting the stuff away, you were dozing off when he came back to get you. "Baths run! Let's get cleaned up. I've also just cleaned the bedroom. It didn't take as long as I thought it would." You reached out for him and he pulled you up "You're a doll. You joining me in the bath?" He scoffed "Yeah, well I said "let's get cleaned up" didn't I?" You gave him a glare "Don't be a smartass." He smiled "Someone's getting grumpy. Okay. I won't push it, I know how you get when you're tired... and/or hungry." You couldn't help but laugh "Christ Van. Let's just get in the tub." You both stripped and climbed in. Van winced in pain "Ahhh ouch." His shoulders were red. "You still burnt, I smothered you in sunscreen!" He cautiously continued to take off his shirt "Yeahhh maybe next time we could get icecream... or beer." You put a cold damp cloth on him "Maybe we will do that..." You both got washed quickly so you could take care of him. You took out the Aloe Vera gel and put it on him "Oh fuck..." you stopped "Am I hurting you?" He smiled "No, that felt nice... the gels cold." You let out a sigh of relief "Okay. Let's get in bed now." You were both dried off and climbed into bed "Thank you for spending time with me today, I'm sorry you got burned." He pulled you in under his arm "It's fine, as long as you had fun that's all that matters." You snuggled closer and had your head on his chest. You counted his heartbeats until you drifted into a deep sleep.

#catfish and the bottlemen #short stories #van mccann #vanfic #fanfic #request

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twinflameshardcore · 7 years

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Waiting for the solar eclipse and playing with gemstones

I’m back and I’m sorry for not writing earlier (and responding your Qs) but there was nothing to share, I also didn’t sign in and yet I was busy with work here. I was also notified by my higher self that I’ve ‘arrived’ on Earth and I know everything what I should know to calm down, and that I should quit analyzing emotions and bizarre events but focus on my inner integrity, 'feel’ & accept everything what happens on the spiritual level between me and the TF, receive ‘messages’ from the heart to heart just like they happen, and boy, they have been very direct, beautiful and open!

The merging process continues and it’s more and more pleasant. I already can sense my twin in various parts of my body - the chest, kidneys, feet (when I put my toes together it feels as if we kissed!), knees, and specifically the right side of my head (the right brain hemisphere - masculine), the top and the forehead. My remote viewing skill improves, though I still feel like a rookie about it. I’ve experienced the most blissful merging so far when our hearts and brains/minds and chakras glued together. It lasted around 2hrs and felt as if somebody drugged me for a good reason ;) Our connection becomes more physical yet remains on a distance. The brain can’t understand it but it’s like the two distant spaces (and bodies) become one so we exist as if in the same space simultaneously. There’s just more joy of feeling each other lighter and deeper. There’s no more worrying that we have to stay apart, or that we have to communicate in spirit only, yet we have no plans to meet in person again anytime soon. The Universe will push us when it’s our time, and I surrendered to this and been living my life without a former distress. We just continue texting and calling from time to time, but there’s no demand or control issues anymore from my side. This period of time is about ‘who you want to be once you’re re-born, recall what the future version of you prepared for your present self for this timeline’. I’m an amateur artist who loves making practical things so I’m pretty sure this is the right path, but it also needs to pay off.

Recent updates briefly:

- Twin’s still struggling with money so he’s moving to a safer place and looking for a new job which will definitely help him focus on our love finally and figure out what he wants to do next, to give his natural skills some new, useful purpose. Old jobs, old systems don’t work anymore when your vibration increases. If we don’t resonate with something, we send a clear signal - ‘I do not want this, or that person to be a part of me’ and the Universe shifts things to make space in your life for something/somebody better just as you’ve requested. Monitor your thoughts then ;)

- I had two meaningful dreams/ astral experiences: I saw 2 planets overlapping each other in the East/North night sky (static but in the last phase) and a translucent plasma hanging out in the sky at the front of them, frequently pumped with some energy impulses sent from above. A day later I came across a very similar dream/experience shared by Carla Fox on her blog which shocked yet pleased me as it was a pure confirmation that certain people receive it just as it is. Read it here. Then the other dream was about seeing disturbances on a TV screen (like missing pixels) then coming outdoor and seeing a big UFO spaceship with blue lights surrounding its edge and claw-like decorations. It hanged above the roof of a house and made a sound as if of an air conditioner (no such sounds in my house, thus no influence). It covered the entire sky above me, just like in ‘The Independence Day’ movie which I’ve watched over 10 years ago, again no recent influences. They were friendly (I saw no beings, just sensed the entire spaceship) and the overall message was something like: Hello, you’ve done well, we let you see us for a moment so to assure you that we’re real, including things you’ve channeled and galactic races. We’ll’ be back’. I was so happy in the dream, so relieved, that I began clapping while other people ran outdoor to see the spaceship too. It was as if on a parallel Earth because the house was not mine but was placed in my garden, and it has been the 3rd or 4th dream about UFO in all my so far life.

So basically every day brings something new, but sleeping lately is not fun at all. I wake up at night (around 5 am, in recent years I was waking up around 2-3 am) and I’m full awake, not even knowing if I should do anything in spirit or if something is ‘repairing’ me or maybe I already act but in another dimension but I must remain awake and connected with my other ‘version’. There’s certainly some higher purpose for that sleep deprivation, specifically when the mind is not distracted by daily activities, noises etc. yet I can function during the day as if I slept really well.

I’ve been waiting patiently for things to develop on their own because the incoming solar eclipse (02/26) will be in my zodiac (Pisces/Aries, just like, I believe, in 2015) opposing the Moon in Virgo (this position also in my birth chart). The first eclipse this month was in Leo a fire sign and was related to a self-esteem. The next one will be related to becoming one with everything, empathetic, understanding an invisible, just as Pisces naturally do. This passage has a theme of ‘born in fire (masculine), reborn in water (masculine aligned with feminine)’. Leo is “I”. Pisces are ‘AM’ - ascended masters because we’ve an open connection to the Universe, (which is not fun in the 3D world at all, but becomes a major navigational skill in 5D). Thus it’s possible that we may feel as ‘I AM’ this month, ‘I am who I am, and I radiate my being outside’. This month will also mark my angel’s awakening 1st anniversary (that was on 02/29/2016, the leap day). It’s all leading to something but it’s a mystery again - the Universe likes surprising us when we quit expecting! :)

There’s said to be some big event to happen in April, effecting TFs too. My guess: 4/4, or 4/22 as I’ve been seeing a crazy number of 44s during the last few months. There will be a peak of Lyrid meteors shower on 04/22 - if you’ve studied the galactic races, then you know Lyrans are said to be the oldest in our galaxy (while Draconians are oldest in another galaxy thus we fought). The old war may come to an end finally and we’ll perhaps unite in love ;) My twin may be a feline from Lyra (that would be also a cherub angel, not a guarantee however but I sense him that way) or a Sirian as he’s a highly telepathic & empathetic techie. However, the entire distant past issues interest me less and less as I’ve received what I had to know and it’s only up to the human to accept that knowledge because the brain is a permanent naysayer. I’ve accepted what is my ‘lineage’ and stopped verifying further.

Ascension symptoms: there’s a very strong polarization between energies which Gaia releases and those incoming from the Universe - we transmute these through our bodies. Thighs feel tense, knees may hurt, the back too. Solar plexus and back react to past slavery issues (’I decide who I am and what I want to do, not you’), to all those limitations, blockages imposed by those who didn’t want us evolve and become who we came here to be. US president is a perfect example of a catalyst as he represents the old, hated masculine energy: rude, arrogant, unfair, pushy, unempathetic, selfish etc. Trump’s like a compressor and we’re like ballons in a box, can’t squeeze anymore so we’ll burst, and he’ll and him alike suffer ;) The dying evil energy is looking for ‘donors’, manifesting itself through various events, news, strangers etc. - see a bigger picture, the source of an event, then detach, ignore, or destroy it in spirit. I lately had to spiritually cut some new ‘arm/hose’ which I found attached to my mind delivering some untruth and harmful illusions about my TF (again triggering the ego which was already taught to shut up) - I’ve felt better & fresher in the head since the ‘surgery’.

(Source)

Finally, I returned to one of my old hobbies - collecting gemstones. This time however with a fully conscious purpose as I’ve discovered they ‘speak to me’. I never thought a piece of rock could be that interactive, but I’d denied the awakening, ascension, and many more related things before I experienced them on my own ;) Some have a very direct vibration which I feel, I can read into a stone while touching it (rubbing, scratching, pressing) and 'seeing through’. This may also belong to my newly awakened skills. I mean, I don’t hear any gemstone’s talk ;) It’s more subtle. Like I’ve got a new gemstone, jasper kambaba (tumbled) and my first impression was that this stone scared me, because it was too direct, probing into my soul once touched. Kambaba has traces of algae in them so their surface looks like having a face with eyes often. Then I spent some time holding it, trusting and opening for. A knowing I received was that these stones have a consciousness of, let’s say an Earth djinn, who literately scanned me with its vibration then was willing to be given commands. It’s a protective gemstone, grounding nicely and soothing. It ‘senses’ if I’ve any blockages, weakness in my chakras at the time of scanning, then it ‘seals’ and balances these leakages.

I’ve a few favorite gemstones which I find very useful these days as evil energies try to attach to people to find donors and we need to protect ourselves. These energies are being removed from Gaia one by one but if you allow them to attach, you risk being dragged down into the low vibration and feel really bad, sick, worried, fearful, irritated, disillusional, as they distort the reality. These evil energies will try to separate you from the TF using your brain & logic, so once you’re torn and disintegrated within, you’ll be more available to be a host for such energies. Thus, a black tourmaline (rough, tumbled, or with quartz) is a must-have as it grounds strongly and aligns all chakras, a turquoise (watch for fake, painted gemstones and howlites), galena, jaspers, gypsum (selenite), black onyx (centering emotions), black/snow obsidian (grounding), jet (=gagate) and surely many more which I hadn’t tested yet. I’ve also one favourite which strongly resonates with my crown chakra and that other chakra above - a rough dumortierite gemstone which since the beginning has given me an impression that it’s not originally from Earth but maybe was brought here during some collision, billions of years ago. Very direct vibration opening my head like an arrow! Then sodalite works perfectly with my higher heart chakra. It’s a beautiful blue stone which (when polished) resembles the Earth as seen from above, with its oceans, white surf, clouds and continents. It makes a connection with the twin’s higher heart much easier, just like black/pink rodonite. Carnelian increases my blood pressure which is OK because it’s usually low, but it can be also annoying for the stomach sometime. I also love bloodstones and hematites, tiger’s/hawk’s eyes and citrines. My favourite green gemstone is rough zoisite (especially when watched and felt in a direct sunshine), they usually include rubies too.

I mean every gemstone works differently for individual people. Tumbled/polished gemstones usually generate a softer vibration than rough minerals, and sometime a rough gemstone looks and feels stronger or better than tumbled (crystals should stay rough & sharp, but gemstones for massages should be tumbled). I got an unpolished red jasper but I feel a tumbled one would let me communicate with its energy much deeper so I’m going to get one soon. If some of your chakras are already healthy, balanced and open, then you won’t benefit or even feel a vibration of a highly recommended gemstones, like amethysts. For instance, I’ve no problems with a verbal self-expression, honesty & assertiveness, thus a lapis lazuli or other blue stones don’t resonate with me at all (not every blue stone is for the throat chakra). Amethyst doesn’t do for me either because I’ve the crown chakra open and channeling well. But all other gemstones recommended for bottom chakras (yellow, orange and red), for self-esteem, digestion, root & sacral chakras, the solar plexus, those helping ground my angel here on Earth do their job perfectly :) I’ll be visiting an annual gemstones show next month and I hope to buy a few more, still missing a topaz, sapphire, kyanite, astrophilite, moldavite and a few more to work with but these are sadly expensive. Watch out for charoite though. If you want to but a charoite bead, make sure it looks like a tumbled charoite, because it’s a rare gemstone (only found in Siberia) and there are many fakes on sale.

If you decide to work with gemstones and find your favourite there are a few useful tips: - get that one which calls you, which looks to you more attractive than others, - bigger doesn’t mean better, as little single bead can resonate with you very well. Bigger gemstones are obviously more expensive and are used if you need to clear/protect a large space, the entire house, garden with many energies/people living there etc. - wear it there, where it should be according to how it resonates within your body. Wear a black tourmaline, onyx, obsidian, any other grounding stones around the lower body (in a pocket) but gemstones healing/expending the heart, 3rd eye, crown chakras etc. should be worn or placed on the upper part of the body, - left side is assigned to the feminine energy, right to the masculine, so it also makes sense to hold a gemstone in the proper hand once you feel one of your energies is imbalanced, - try to rub a stone with the edge of your finger (a part/line of skin along the nail and both sides of the top of a finger), it feels much more joyful as most of nerves are collected there.

The most fun comes when you gather a little collection, understood gemstones meanings and feel their resonance, so then you can group some of them and sense how such a selection makes you feel, if gemstones are happy being together, or not.

One must have a hobby to survive the TF separation, then coming together, merging, alignment, own and his/her energetic imbalances, and all kinds of mysteries involved too ;) My favourite website about gemstones are this and this and this one too.

I’ll look into your Qs soon, patience pls, thanks. Enjoy the eclipse!

This post is copyrighted by the author of this blog who prefers to remain anonymous. My posts must not be used for commercial purposes of any kind. Respect my work - ask first before you copy, always include a link back to my site when you quote a part of my writing!

#gemstones #twinflames #twoplanets #dreaming

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trainwreck07-blog · 7 years

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What could go wrong went wrong

I really don’t know where I should start; I decided that I was going to start to log my experiences trying to reconnect with my wife. It turned sour and has transformed into me logging my wife slowly leaving. And at this point I really can’t say that she is slowly leaving me, because the more I dig into the lie the more I learn the speed she is heading, and holy crap nuggets it’s fast. My normal medium of expression is through visual art, but it would be hard for me express all these emotions I have right now. I am currently stuck in a haze of anger, sadness, fear, betrayal and absolute heartbreak not knowing which way is up or down. One reason I wanted to write this, is I have no one to talk to. I know some people here but it’s all her people, her family, her friends and I’m extremely lonely. We recently moved to Michigan to be closer to her family leaving everything I’ve known for the past 27yrs, the town I grew up in, and friends I made in middle school through college and into my adult life. I was ok with moving because I love her so much. I figured if we moved to her hometown maybe, just maybe, that would make her happy again, which I hoped would make me happy again. I still remember the first time she walked through the door of the restaurant I bartended at, she was beautiful and still is. It was great, late nights kicking back brews, talking till the sun came up. There was never enough time. It was new and fun and we always touched and laughed. She had only one child at the time and I came to love that girl as if my own. We began building family from miracles, one after another till we had three fantastic kids. I wish I could say that it’s always been perfect, it hasn’t, and she’s as mean as a rabid junkyard dog sometimes. Three great kids, the best job I’ve ever had, and a new life in an unknown world for me, it started out good. We’ve been in Michigan now for just under two years and I guess being home has finally gotten to her. We haven’t been on a date since we moved here; I haven’t been intimate with my wife in years at this point. Recently she has been going out with her friends quite frequently, and posting some pretty inappropriate behavior and then removing them after she thinks about it a little. She used to rag on my sister-in-law for doing that kind of stuff before we found out she was cheating on my brother. Over the past few months she’s just been acting odd, and we have always had the passwords for everything out in the open, no secrets and nothing to hide. I’ve always been fine with that cause she has always been my world. But my world crashed down on me last Tuesday. Now I guess it’s time to get us to that day. But we will start before her trip to meet her brother for the first time in 30+ years. We have been saving and taking loans to help her get to her brothers retirement party for a while now, we even sacrificed cable and Wi-Fi. No problem, it was for a good cause. She was running around the night before she left in a pretty good mood, constantly messaging a “Friend” of hers that works at the airport. Ignoring me and the children, so caught up in her messaging, she didn’t realize the smiles and lip bites she gave her phone that I happened to notice. I tried to get on her messenger and surprise, she changed her password. I wasn’t going to kick to much a fuss just before she was set to leave, so I asked her for it, and she gave it to me. I didn’t even try to look in it, just kept it in for later. Maybe go in and write a huge post of how much I miss my husband, or some funny meme she would laugh at. That’s what most of our “hacks” consisted of. So the next morning I drop her off at the airport 2hrs away at 6am, so getting up that early was hell. Drop her off, go home with the kids and cook breakfast. I try to text and call her a few times and no response, hmm odd, I noticed she’s all over Facebook but won’t answer calls or texts. I figured I would try her messenger, well damn, password changed again! So that’s just straight messed up at this point. I still try not to kick a huge fuss (she would have my rear if I did this by the way) but I was pissed and texted her asking why she changed it and what her new password was…… the kids and I didn’t talk to her for 5 days! I had children crying on my lap asking why mommy won’t answer the phone or call us back. I have no way to answer that; I wish I did at that point. I did leave her alone for the first couple of days until it hit a disrespectful wall of “she is straight ignoring me and our children” I started the calls on day 3. No answer except one, she was going into a restaurant at 9am, she said she would call us back and nothing for two more days. The day she was headed to the airport I still hadn’t talked to her and had no clue what time she was coming in. I knew there were two flights into the airport from Missouri. 5pm and 8pm, I was ready to show up and hang till she got there. She finally calls me on her way to the airport to tell me her girlfriend Rachel was picking her up. A slight relief to not have to sit in Detroit traffic any longer than I have too, but I was mad as hell but still happy she was coming home. When she got in she refused to hug or kiss me and then proceeded to tell me how tired she was and she went to bed. I stayed up with the kids even though I had to work the next morning, I had told them I would likely be late seeing as though I figured she would be home late we would talk and hang for a bit. The next morning I got up, got the kids situated, and went up to say by to the wife and let her know the kids were wide awake and destroying the house. Her phone had just stopped ringing and I picked it up and she had changed her passcode for her phone….. that has been the same 4 digit pin for as long as I can remember, the bigger kids could get in and play games if they wanted, but something has changed. She shoots out of a dead sleep with the look of sheer terror and fear on her face, snatched the phone out of my hands. I at that moment knew my wife was headed out the house with one foot out the door. I asked for her password and her reply was “I would rather a divorce!” so I knew there was something she was hiding. Nobody goes through that much security and password changes unless you are hiding something, right? I had to go to work because I already took three of my five vacation days so she could go and I didn’t have any money. Work was rough, could not stop thinking about what could be in there, but whatever it was it is likely to destroy my marriage. Took me a few days to get a battle plan and figure out what I needed to do. Every time I would ask about that she would say that she was tired of being controlled, which is hilarious cause I am so laid back its not even funny and she has control issues. What was on that damn phone? I was on a mission at that point, I would figure out what is going on.so I chilled and let her go do her thing and get marriage advise from a woman who sleeps with married guys. I finally got smart and started going through phone call and text logs, everything was normal except one number. She has a small group she deals with, so it was easy to figure out who is who. I knew a majority of the numbers because I have them too, except the one that starts at 7:34AM the morning I dropped her off at the airport and continued from March 30th to April 5th when there seemed to be a break. I had a feeling based on it being a Detroit number, I knew who it was. Do I think she cheated on me? No, but when you start hiding things from your husband you say you love, it definitely becomes shady. I truly think it started out innocent and somethings must have been traded that made her feel the need to hide it all and become extremely defensive if any of it was brought up. I hadn’t mentioned too much about it, I figured I would wait and see what happens. I asked who was the dude she talked to, and I always got a “There is NO FUCKING DUDE!” so I sat back and waited. On April 10th right after I made dinner and fed my family she sat on the couch and was just texting away, I requested the text log and found that she had been sitting on our couch texting him again. Which I can say he at this point, because I called the number blocked and a guys with a super deep voice answered. I can’t lie, I kind of lost my mind and asked who she was talking to? She tells me it was her girlfriend, but I see the log and the log don’t lie. I yell about her lying to me and she gets mad when I call him again and leave a voice mail. she denied it for a couple days until I found his name attached to the number, and I was right on who it was, and texted her a screen shot of it all. She isn’t the type to sit and talk so as of me writing this she is mad at me for looking up the call and text logs. She’s embarrassed I would think, but her being backed into a lie brings the claws out. There is so much more that I will be getting off my chest so ……… any feedback will be taken graciously. #wife #husband #losingher #love #hurt #shewantstobesingle #goodman #help #advice

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cloudmonstachopper · 7 years

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biiig chiimquisitor update!

With a few cameos about my warden, Cloudy (and maybe about my champion Mishka too)

Leliana says something about Briala having had a past with Celenne and Chiim is basically like DIRTY COURT GOSSIP???? TELL ME MORE shameless

When asked who to bring along, it basically went like this: I can’t NOT take Vivienne to a BALL please!! And Dorian? Oh, he’ll love it! He deserves a treat anyways, I’ve dragged him through such “dreadful” areas. And Varric! He’ll be sure to wind some fun tales from the evening.

Chiim in formal clothes was amazing. But like. Vivienne trying to wrestle them into it. Dorian dying of laughter on the couch in the background. Chiim: WHY IS THIS JUST A SEVEN FOOT LENGTH OF BLUE FABRIC. WHAT DO I DO WITH IT. IS IT TO TIE UP MY ENEMIES? Vivienne: nO INQUISITOR THAT IS YOUR SASH AND CUMBERBUND M A K E R PLS They manage to finally get Chiim into the tunic. But they weren’t having it with the pants, Chiim won the battle and got to wear thigh-high travel-worn boots with like. Kneepads. Amazing. Truly a LookTM. Chiim fashion at its finest.

Josie: Before you enter the ballroom... you EVERY WORD AND ACTION WILL BE JUDGED SO YOU’D BEST BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR Chiim: sooo no jumping on the furniture like a goat then, I take it? Josie: *nearly has a stroke* please don’t

Empress: We look forward to watching you dance Chiim: *internally* “we look forward to watching you dance” yeah they just wanna be assholes and see how in the wooooorld someone dances with such ‘heavy monstrosities’ on their head hAVE THEY EVEN SEEN THEIR OWN HATS y’all just racist assholes what a pile of pricks Chiim: A pleasure. If you’ll excuse me *bows gracefully and scuttles away*

Chiim: So, Yvette, any FUN STORIES ABOUT JOSIE???? *nearly bouncing up and down in excitement* Yvette: oh, there was that time when we were ten- Josie: NO Yvette: or how about that time you accidentally melted- Josie: STOP Yvette: or that time you spilt sauce all over- Josie: YveTTE Yvette: she still plays with her dolls when no one’s looking!! Josie: *covering yvette’s mouth and laughing* I DON’T KNOW WHAT SHE’S TALKING ABOUT

Apparently full white masks were used in orlesian theater for roles with no clear gender. I mean I know they’re talking about spirits. But. I’m just saying. If Chiim had an orlesian mask, it would be a full white one.

Chiim: oh look, cullen is surrounded by ladies. Ladies: would you like a drink? a dance? Cullen: No thank you, I’m not thirsty. Chiim: and he has no idea they’re flirting with him in the SLIGHTEST. I’d best go save him.

Chiim: *wandering the balconies* an awful lot of drinks and bottles scattered around on this table for an empty balcony... hrm... I SUSPECT A MEETING HAS OCCURRED HERE it later turned out that’s where gaspard hangs out so he probs met with florianne there

Chiim: these elvhen servants are literally leaving blood tracks behind I mean seriously????? even I can tell???? I thought the game was supposed to be subtle

Dorian: *reminiscing about tevinter balls* It’s lacking only a few sacrificial slaves and some blood magic! But the night IS young Chiim: *just raises eyebrow* Dorian: ooh, but you ought to dance with me before we go Chiim: *is SO OVER IT bc still reeling from WOW ORLESIAN ASSHOLES* hm Dorian: *cajoles* Chiim: okay, m a y b e Dorian: you sure you don’t want to dance with the evil magister? it’d certainly be s h o c k i n g~ Chiim: mmm tempting Dorian: if you could find me ten silk scarves I’ve got a dance that would REALLY shock them *wink wonk* Chiim: good thing I’m a rogue and every lady is wearing twenty-seven then, I’ll be back in a jiffy ;D

Chiim: psssst dorian, distract everybody in this courtyard while I climb this terrace! Dorian: that’ll need to be quite a big distraction then, to pry everyone away from the qunari inquisitor, IN dress clothes, climbing a terrace during the great ball NOT TO MENTION providing everyone with a great view of dat ass Chiim: so? Dorian: already on it dear

Leliana’s obsession with shoes is very intelligent and I love her. In other news: !!!!!! M O R R I G A N AHHHHHH

Chiim: *is impatient and jumps on a couch to reach some incriminating papers on the table* Courtiers: ooh that inquisitor, he must have some sort of... strength to make up for his BOORISH manners *loses a point of approval* Chiim: Josie’s gonna kill me

Chiim plays the politics game, does really nice. Back at the keep everyone is like !!! wow, I was really impressed!! I didn’t know you could pull that off???? Chiim: heh, yeah, Dorian and Vivienne and Leliana coached me in niceties and playacting (and Leliana in some added ShenanigansTM) Josie: AND YOU STILL JUMPED ON THE FURNITURE Chiim: *deadpan* you can take the ox outta the qunari, but you can’t take the gOAT OUTTA THE CHIIMQUISITOR *runs* Josie: *proceeds to ream chiimquisitor out for approx. 2hr*

Florianne: do you know who can be trusted? Chiim, a person who naturally trusts almost everyone and is weak to growing attached to people: *lies through their teeth* if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s to trust no one

At the ball, and Josie’s all “ohooo! You’ll be the talk of the court for months! We should take you dancing more often!” Chiim: clearly she hasn’t heard about my furniture jumping escapades yet

“Are we going to sneak around the empress’ unmentionables NOW? haha, just how drunk are you, boss?” Varric has officially adopted the Chiimquisitor #CONFIRMED

Chiim: *hears screams for help in the next room* Chiim: *busts into next room, finds harlequin assassin about to take out an elf* Chiim: *just straight up KICKS THE HARLEQUIN OUT THE WINDOW NBD* Chiim: Are you okay? Sorry bout that, my protection instincts kicked in and I just... well. I did say they *kicked* in. Heh. Heheheheh. Varric: Andraste’s bloomers but that was a bad one

Chiim: *fucks things up and talks to morrigan and feels SLIGHTLY better bc liason but also fucked up things for the elves* Dorian: *side-eyes morrigan SO HARD as he walks in WHO IS FLIRTING WITH HIS CHIIMQUISITOR N O W GDI* Dorian: so you charmed the dowager and she wants to marry you to one of her daughters. Told her you’d already left Chiim: (oh thank god) Dorian: You can thank me later. Or now. But you look lost in thought. Something on your mind? Chiim: I fucked up, Dorian. I fucked up bad and now I’m sad but I’ve made the best of a shitty situation. *hunches in on themselves, sighs* Dorian: clearly you need to be distracted. Let’s dance? Chiim: *isn’t a dancer, is so OVER dancing, and the game, and all this shit, but... maybe it’s what they need, and they’ll give it a shot... for Dorian* Chiim: *looks up and tries a smile* I thought you’d never ask.

Chiim gets back to skyhold and IMMEDIATELY mother giselle is all up in everybody’s business and like INQUISITOR CAN I HAVE A MOMENT Chiim, internally: LET ME MOURN MY FUCKUP. LET ME MOURN IT IN PEACE. Chiim: *sighs and puts on a placating smile and tone* How can I help you, revered mother? ... Josie: yes, and we’ll take care of it LATER right now give the Chiimquisitor a BREAK Chiim: bless u, josie. b l e s s y o u

Chiim immediately bonds greatly with Morrigan, mostly over talking about her son. Chiim likes her son. Morrigan is a bit cagey about him, but also likes to talk about him. She’s a proud mother.

(Fun fact: Keiran is probs also trans because Cloudy is dfab and had babbu with Morrigan which means SHENANIGANS were at play and what I’m saying here is that Keiran takes after his trans father) (Speaking of Cloudy shenanigans, he and Zevran have a daughter. She is very cute. During the pregnancy Cloudy refused to see anyone and they disappeared off the map for about 9 months. But afterwards Cloudy comes back and is like !!!!! LOOK AT THIS SMOL!!! I MADE HER!! Zevran helped I guess WOW SHE’S SO CUTE AND GREAT AND SMART) (she grows up to be an absolute terror. Daughter of the warden commander and the leader of the antivan crows, daughter of TWO rogues, one of whom doubles as an assassin? oh pranks and things going missing FOR D A Y S ON END shenanigans never stop) (I have a lot more hcs and things about Cloudy & Zevran’s child - who has a ~mysterious~ older half-brother in keiran - but this is a chiimquisitor post so we continue with the chiimquisition) (sidebar mishka and anders don’t have any kids of their own but they totally adopt like every single child, dog, and cat that comes anywhere near them, their house is super big and always crazy and it’s fantastic; there’s also a chicken. The kids named the chicken cupcake. Main suspects for the chicken’s origin is Aunt Merrill but there have been no confirmations.)

Chiim: Will his... father, be joining us as well? Morrigan: *thinks about cloudy gallivanting off with zevran for a cure to the calling* tis... most unlikely (At that point in time, Cloudy was also experiencing the feeling of the fake calling, but was pregnant with daughter, and just blamed it on the hormones. And Zevran, of course, being neither a warden nor someone who experiences the monthly upheaval that is periods let ALONE pregnancy, just takes his word for it. Sigrun acts as their cover story, telling everyone’ they’re off investigating the calling. Totally works.) (There’s a reason Cloudy’s letter to the inquisition basically read “sounds cool but not my fight have fun I’ll vaguely support from a distance”)

Josie: so. Uh. After the events at the grand ball, apparently Florianne’s trade routes got all tied up, so they sent her over for... judgement. Chiim: Are you SERIOUS??? She’s dead! Box: *flies buzz* Josie: ...and that was the time allotted for a rebuttal. There is- forgive me. *coughs* there is... an odor. Chiim: *clears throat* WHAT FRESH LEVEL OF BULLSHITTERY Chiim: anyways I guess there’s a precedence for this so let’s just send the routes back to them aND GET RID OF THAT BOX (Chiim has clearly been spending Way Too Much time in the library with Dorian if they know about this rANDOMASS PRECEDENCE)

Chiim: I’m worried about my gardening buddy, Blackwall. Josie: Oh? Why’s that? Chiim: he took me out for drinks and then told me about how a dog was killed in his childhood and he didn’t do anything about it???? and then he got weirdly quiet and just left???? like Blackwall. What. The fuck????? Josie: that is strange Chiim: he left a letter on his rockinggriffon. I’m gonna track him down. Josie: please do. I worry about him sometimes.

(side note: if blackwall ever finishes that rockinggriffon it can be a baby shower gift for Cloudy & Zevran and their new bundle of joy heh)

Cassandra: blah blah divine I don’t know what to do but I know what i SHOULD do Chiim: hold up, if neither of you are priestesses and you can be divine, why can’t I be the divine? Cassandra: Well, you’re a man, for one. Plus I think they’re afraid of you. Chiim: Cassandra. My dear. It was a joke. I’m an atheist, tal-vashoth qunari. You couldn’t PAY me enough to be the divine.

(In all honesty though Chiim would have made for a fantastic scout, like WHO decided Chiim ought to be in charge of Politics and all these Important Things???? Cassandra why are we letting u make these decisions)

Sera: Ugh, that place. Should have thrown in some bees and slammed the door. Chiim: I dunno, seems more like a job for earwigs to me. Sera: Y E S

Chiim: *hanging out on the roof* Hey, Sera, what do you think of Dorian? Sera: You’re having it off with him, you don’t need me talking. (But I do anyway ;D) Chiim: *laughs* more than one thing is having off when I’m with him, harr harr Sera: Ew, gross! *laughs and happily bumps shoulders with Chiim*

So you know how elfroot has been lore/meta confirmed for being a recreational drug? And you know how it’s confirmed that the inquisitor has a strange obsession with it? Yeah, well only those in the inner circle know how laughable it is that Chiim indulges in the stuff: the only indulging happening here is haPPY GARDENING. heh.

Chiim: *talks to solas, mentions how much they’re torn up about briala* Solas: ... what? why do I care? oooh the elf thing, yeah, I don’t think of myself as an elf so... Chiim: I try to have a moment, why do i even try, it’s SOLAS, he’s a shitbag...

Chiim: What’s your thoughts on elvhen culture? Solas: ... ask Sera, she’s got... opinions. Chiim: I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS SERA BASHING YOU RUDEASS SHITHOLE Solas: sorry. I’m just... jealous. Sorry. Chiim: damn right.

ps when Chiim was first learning to be an assassin 100% they would stealth, sneak up behind unsuspecting companions, stab them in the ankle with a butter knife and yell “I STAB U IN THE LEG AND ABSCOND” and laugh hysterically as they run away Dorian is just standing there like “did u just poke me with your fingernail??”

Vivienne wants the heart of this wyvern, and won’t tell Chiim what for... Chiim is slightly suspicious, but is gonna do it anyways. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like THIS BETTER NOT BE AN ANDERS BETRAYAL AGAIN DOn’T YOU DO THAT TO ME VIVIENNE

Dorian: and now you’ve got an empress eating out of your hand, makes for a perfect mental image Chiim: (dorian what are you thinking??? is this a kink thing????) Dorian: all this dancing, murder, politics, almost makes me a bit homesick Chiim: so we should do that kind of thing again? Dorian: watch as you twist an entire empire around your little finger? *bedroom voice* ABSOLUTELY. Chiim: so it.... IS a kink thing??? I don’t get it, but ok. ... Chiim: wanna makeout against this dragon statue over here? Dorian: sure, I’m down Chiim: nice

#chiimquisitor #secret gardener's club #only a tiny bit but still #da #dai #cloudy cousland #since I've got that lil dao bit

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