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navegandoaciegas · 4 years

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Fic Recommendation List no one asked for

(all of these are dark and 18+)

they may contain dubcon/noncon so proceed with caution

I included: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers, Andy Barber, Charles Blackwood and dark!Reader.

I feel like a broken record sometimes but yeah, I’m not a native speaker, sorry for any mistakes

I needed this to keep track of my favorite stories, but if you choose to read them, I hope you enjoy them as much as I do 🤍

Bucky Barnes

📌 Wicked Way | I could sit here a whole day and write all about how much I adore @giorno-plays-piano , her talent and creativity. I loved drider!bucky, orc!bucky, warlock!bucky, alien!bucky, but necromancer!bucky owns my whole heart. It’s the story of a heart wrenching obsession and it’s written beautifully. It’s poetry. 10/10 would recommend.

📌 Happy to Help | My baby @whateveriwant is talented af. Bucky’s pov and the reader’s alternate through the story and offer two different perspectives on the same events. No spoilers but you’ll see how different their interpretation of reality is and how that makes the ending ten times creepier.

📌 Light of my Life | by @angrythingstarlight It’s a series (I’m pretty sure it’s not complete yet, correct me if I’m wrong) inspired by the Shining. You can really feel Bucky’s slow descent into madness and the reader’s growing discomfort and unease.

📌 Til Death Do Us Part | by @cherienymphe Mob!Bucky is something else, tbh. He’s pretty much demented and yet somewhat sweet. His possessiveness does things to me. Smut is chef kisses. I suggest you read the drabble that goes with it too. More unhinged mob!bucky for ya (x).

📌 Bible Study | @asadmarveltrashbag I mean at this point we get it, I have a problem with my blasphemy kink lmfao, but this story is so good! Let’s just say I too want Bucky Barnes to fuck me on a table surrounded by holy books in a good Christian household.

📌 just another day in the office | My talented bby @buckysbunny wrote the perfect stalker!Bucky who does things to me that he shouldn’t, and paired him with a naive, innocent reader who happens to have the biggest praise kink. Highly recommend.

📌 First and Last | by @navybrat817 A/B/O stories tend to weird me out sometimes, but this one was just great! I loved how strong the reader is, and how she gets broken down as the story progresses. The ending is pretty heartbreaking, but possessive Bucky + the very good smut make it worth it.

📌 Stay | by @you-are-my-sanctuary Not the darkest, but it includes stalker!Bucky and kidnapping. I love both Bucky’ and reader’s characterization in this one. The smut is incredibly hot, and he’s soft but demanding at the same time. The last couple lines gave me chills.

📌 Obscure | Dark, obsessive, possessive Bucky is perfection, and @sinner-as-saint is queen of hot af smut that you could literally get yourself off on.

📌 Into The Woods | by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor I’m a big fan of all her Bucky stories, (I loved The Widow too) but lumberjack!Bucky hits different.

📌 Ice Cream Man | by my bby @nsfwsebbie I’ve read it ages ago (one of the first dark stories I’ve ever read) and it’s stuck in my mind since. It’s very creepy and very hot at the same time.

📌 Silent Night | by @softboibarnes It’s a series with dad’s bestfriend Bucky and naive reader. The smut is very hot, and it’s interesting to read Bucky’s deranged thought process. I highly recommend you read this.

Charles Blackwood

📌 Cherries and Lace | by @mariessecretfantasies Naive reader, asshole parents, same ol’ Charles.

Steve Rogers

📌 Dancer in the Dark | by @jtargaryen18 Creepy roommate story with a very ominous ending that made me feel as suffocated as the reader would have had she known the real extent of Steve’s presence and control in her life. Thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish.

📌 Golden Boy | by @angrythingstarlight Unhinged envious Steve is an asshole, and my heart broke for Bucky and reader. Beautifully written as usual, and I loved how the present and past event intersecate and flow easily together.

Andy Barber

📌 The Kind of Girl You Take Home to Mom | by @mypoisonedvine You know a story is good when I read it and like it even if it’s not about my baby Bucky. Hot sexual tension with your boyfriend’s dad. Makes me want to fuck someone’s dad, and j.d. said I could so it’s okay. 10/10

Dark Reader

📌 Black Magic by @champangebucky

📌 Tooth Fairy by @whateveriwant

I’ve just found out that someone I was exposed to at work might have corona, and I’m very not okay rn, but I’ve decided to make a list of things I enjoy to take my mind off of my problems, basically. That’s it for now, but I might add more. I’ll make a light!fics recommendation too at some point! 🤍

#dark!bucky x reader #dark bucky x reader #dark!steve x reader #dark!reader #dark!avengers #charles blackwood x reader #andy barber x reader #marvel smut #dark!bucky smut

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watery-melon-baller · 3 years

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Danny Phantom Fic Recs

Absolutely nobody asked for this, but I feel like doing this so here are some, as the title says, Danny Phantom fic recs! There’s not really any cohesion or theme to this, these are just fics I find good in general. They’re not ones I’ve seen around on a ton of rec lists, so maybe this can help people find something new to read.

Tucker Foley and the Long Arc of the Paranormal Universe by helpivefallenandicantgetup

I cannot recommend this fic enough. The quality of the writing is extremely high. It may start off a bit slow, but once you get into it it really sucks you in. It’s a longer one, currently sitting just above 90,000 words, and still a work in progress but actively updating. The fic is a paranormal mystery AU centering around Tucker, as the title implies, with some good focus put on Sam as well. Danny is the new kid in town, and, not to spoil too much, it crafts an interesting mystery around a series of related murders. This fic provides a remarkably fresh take on the Danny Phantom characters and setting. I in particular love how the interpersonal relationships between characters come so naturally. The take on the characters really stands out to me, giving a lot of depth to them in a way that makes them feel like full people. The plot is engaging, with each development adding to the intrigue. Seriously, probably the best piece of fanfiction I’ve read, ever.

Face to Face by DP_Marvel94

This one has a special place in my heart. It’s one of the first long pieces of fanfiction I read (currently sitting around 150,000 words), and it’s a good one. It’s a very character driven story, centering around what happens when Danny, not long after the accident, tries to get rid of his powers but instead splits himself in two. Now I will say I’m a big sucker for split Danny stories, but even so this is a very interesting take on the concept. As I said, it’s highly character driven, with an engaging arc of Danny learning to accept himself. Another thing that stands out about it is the writing of Jack and Maddie, with some excellent takes on a reveal and reveal aftermath. Big queer allegory vibes, which sure hits for me. This fic is still in progress and continues to update.

Losing Teeth by halfpastdead

This one’s much shorter, a oneshot of around 2000 words. Still, it’s one I find myself coming back to again and again. It’s about Danny becoming more ghostly after a few days stuck in Phantom form. Highkey angst with the Fenton parents, which I am here for. The author portrays the consequences of a post reveal Danny well, how Danny struggles from the trauma of them hunting him, how they can’t just instantly let go of their prejudices once they know the truth. The writing and prose is well done, with good characterization as well.

Doppelgänger by CrzyFun

Boy oh boy do I love this one. It’s halfa trio AND qpr trio, two concepts I love immensely. The writing is well done, and it’s really interesting to see how things have been changed. It’s very much an AU, following through canon but showing how things change with all the tweaks made and, of course, the halfa trio thing. It works well, as do the little tweaks to character. Especially standing out is the portrayal of Valerie; the author manages to give her a lot of nuance and development, giving her a realistic relationship with Danny and the trio as Doppelgänger. And the queerness, I love the queerness so much. This fic currently sits around 40,000 words, so pretty middling in length. It went on a hiatus for a while, but now it’s back to regular updates and seems set to be completed soon.

Eidolon Interloper by HeroineofTime

Everything HeroineofTime writes is so good. Their two other DP fics, Can I Not Grasp Them with a Tighter Clasp? (Around 20,000 word completed multichapter, psychological horror centering around Danny’s protection obsession going too far) and Speak of the Banshee (A ghost speak humor oneshot with Danny and Valerie, at about 7000 words) were both excellent and I enjoyed them immensely. You should read them both. Eidolon Interloper just stands out for its originality and length. It is a crossover with The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, but as someone who has never played Twilight Princess and has very limited knowledge on it, I had no issues getting into it. It follows Danny after he falls through a portal into the world of Twilight Princess and proceeds to have a terrible time. I really enjoyed the handling of Danny’s character and how his secret-keeping goes. Currently around 50,000 words, it is ongoing. I binged it.

Analog by Workparty

I don’t know, I just enjoyed this one. It’s kind of an anthology of oneshots exploring Danny-clone related situations, scenarios, and AUs. It’s well written and I like how the author explores different ideas and themes. I actually don’t have a lot to say about this one, it’s just good. This one is actually completed, sitting around 20,000 words over 7 chapters.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by LichrallyJustVibin

I love full ghost Danny aus so much, and this is pretty much the perfect take on a full ghost Danny au. And that pretty much sums up the plot: Danny Dies. Now he has to deal with the aftermath of that. The author puts so much character into the narration; they absolutely nail everyone’s voice. They also manage to strike such an expert balance between angst and fluff, which really makes the fic. It might be abandoned (it hasn’t updated since January), but I’m unsure as of now. Still, the 14,000 words we do have are completely worth checking out. Seriously, this fic is so good.

That’s what I have for now! If any of these interest you, please go check them out, they’re all really good. -Aru

#Danny Phantom Fic Recs #Fic Recs #Danny Phantom #Fandom #Fanfiction #Recs #fic #writing #if any of these summaries I'm giving are too spoilery tell me and I'll try to fix it #If y'all want more fic recs from me I can definitely dredge up more fic recs

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anakinthetrashking · 4 years

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BnHA One-Shot Fic Recs (pt2)

I AM HERE! With more recs for you! The last post was all about DadMight, such a beautiful genre *wipes tear from eye* This time its DADZAWA! if you happen to follow me, you might know that i really really(really) love Aizawa. a lot. So im going to try to keep this to only 10 recs, but,, well,,,, we’ll see anyway leTS GO

Aches and Pains by Badwolf36 Rating: G Category: Gen ~2700 words Summary: In which Izuku isn't willing to admit how much pain he's in, and Mr. Aizawa is just as much of a softie for his students as he always is. I’m always SO WEAK to stories that deal with the very real consequences of breaking all of your bones. Poor Izuku. I enjoyed the details of how he’s feeling, the way that the reader’s awareness of his pain waxes and wanes along with Izuku’s (temporary distractions can only do so much, A+ for realism there). Also, soft Dadzawa while not mushy-ooc-Aizawa! Conclusion: I love this and also want Aizawa to make me hot cocoa when there’s storms and i cant sleep!! (sidenote, everytime i see this username my brain shorts out bc my old ff.net account was also Badwolf## lol)

My Neighbor Shouta-ro by Hound_of_Heaven Rating: G Category: Gen ~2,700 words Summary: Yamada Hizashi, on Christmas Eve of the year he turns 19, jokingly presents Aizawa Shouta, also 19, with a Totoro kigurumi. Everything that follows after is pure chance. Heeeeeeeeeck this is ADORABLE. I- You guys- this is so pure and so precious and so!! go read it, i died. such fluff.

constrained by my own mind (im not fine) by CamsthiSky (tumblr: @camsthisky ) Rating: G Category: Gen ~1,500 words Summary: Midoriya Izuku is a problem child, and for some reason, Aizawa Shouta cares too much to let him fend for himself when the kid is obviously dealing with something First of all this is written by one of my fav Batfam writers!!! I was so hype when i saw this posted and OF COURSE IT WAS JUST AS WONDERFUL IF NOT MORE SO THAN I EXPECTED!!!! A+++++ in character for both Izuku and Aizawa. Izuku is jumpy and anxious and stressed and i love it. That the way Izuku started out, and while i am eternally happy at how much his life and social reactions have already changed, stuff like that doesnt just disappear in even a year, so I love fics that address that and expound on all the progress that he would have to make behind the scenes. and having Aizawa as the catalyst to begin getting actual help? *chef’s kiss* This checks boxes and then proceeds to cover the page in checkmarks LOL

remember from here on in by aloneintherain (tumblr: @captainkirkk ) Rating: T Category: Gen ~8000 words warning: spoiler heavy from manga chp 215 Summary: Aizawa glances from All Might to Midoriya quickly. It sounds impossible—he’s never heard of a quirk that can be handed down like a family heirloom—but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. Midoriya’s inability to use his quirk at the start of the year. The strange, familial relationship between All Might and Midoriya. The slow malnourishment of All Might’s body, like his power was being siphoned away. “You’re …” Aizawa begins.“I’m All Might’s successor.” Midoriya’s proud but shaky voice rings clearly down the empty corridor. Aizawa finds out about One for All. Awwwwwwww yiiiiiiiissssssssss!!!!! reveal fic!!!! one of my all time fav tropes!!! Plus it expounds on some future theorys/possibilities(Spoilers!!!) and you get some great interactions between Izuku and Shinsou, and plenty of opportunities taken to wear out our already worn out catepillar-sensei. poor guy needs a break but would do anything for these kids. Incredible characterization, great feels!!

Those Hardest to Love Need it Most by DancingintheStorm Rating: T Category: Gen ~8,200 words Summary: Shouta gripped the phone tight enough to make the phone case groan. “So it’s true. Midoriya was Quirkless.”“Until soon before the entrance exam,” Nedzu confirmed. “That’s not relevant now, though, because—““Relevant?” Shouta hissed. “Midoriya is barely functional, socially. He doesn’t trust any adult. He thinks the whole world hates him. He apologizes for everything except breaking the law, and I’m sure I can trace every single one of those things back to his Quirklessness. You call that irrelevant?” Aizawa visits Aldera Junior High and finds out some disturbing truths. Yes. Just. Yes. Righteous anger abounds, local anxiety-child is told for the first time that his life has worth, more at 10 (I LOVE THIS ONEEE)

The Gaunlet and friendships and how memes tie the two together by averypassionateperson Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,500 words Summary: Shinsou walks into his first day in the Hero Course hoping to get politely ignored. He walks out having gotten into a sanctioned fistfight with the entire Bakusquad and a whole lot of new friendships. Also, memes are responsible for most of this. This fic is SOOOOOOOOO much fun. Always sure to bring a smile and honestly all I could want from a fic about Shinsou’s first day in 1A!!!

like light through a window by achievingelysium (tumblr: @queenangst ) Rating: T Category: Gen 1,139 words Summary: The first time Shouta sees what Hagakure looks like, it’s because she’s covered in blood. Coming from one of the best Dadzawa writers around, is a delightfully haunting fic centered on Hagakure!! The Dazawa is of course, spot on, the premise makes your heart ache as it plays out like a movie in your mind. So smooth to read, while so emotionally painful. Ouch. It is a fic with imagery that has stuck in my mind like a plant with deep roots, bc i keep thinking about it despite my too-much-fanfic-reading-adhd-muddled-brain. I feel like i had more to say but tumglr erased the paragraph i had originally written. D: (side note, as i am keeping these posts to 10 fics... this fic came from her series of 30 min fics which you can find here on tumblr ao3 its an absolute goldmine of one-shots, go check it out)

a frozen pond, dark and deep by walking_through_autumn Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,800 words Summary: In the aftermath of Endeavour's battle against High End, Aizawa escorts Todoroki to his home for special leave, and they have a conversation that has been long in the making. (Or: Over two car rides and the mystery known as bubble tea, Aizawa divulges information, Todoroki returns the favour, and trust is built over unexpected similarities.) This fic felt just as quiet as the two characters it surrounds, which was really nice. Even deep emotional grieving can be quiet, since everyone feels things and reacts to things differently. It was a brilliant way to chip away at these character’s walls to let light shine through without creating an earthquake event to destroy the walls completely, you know? and it works off of canon so well. ah yes seeing the process of Aizawa realizing that hes has adopted another child is my fav anyhow i enjoyed it very much!

but still my heart is heavy (with the hate of some other man’s beliefs) by honeyandsunshine Rating: T Category: Gen ~3,500 words Summary: Nemuri jerks a thumb to the side window, presumably the one with the best view of the front gates. When Shouta looks, a small crowd, all of which he can recognize from his class, are gathered around a sleazy looking man with a camera and a microphone. Half their quirks are activated. Bakugou and Todoroki are smoking. From the bushes nearby, a rather enraged stag emerges. As he gets up, Shouta just hopes they haven’t already killed him. Or:Class 1-A defends their own. Aizawa suffers, but looks after them anyways. I love how this doesn’t go the way you expect it to. and how much Aizawa loves and trusts his class full of gremlin heroes. The Dadzawa is so soft, his logic is sound, my heart aches, and i kinda want to cry. really, really, really great you guys

bend, don’t break by heyhamlet (tumblr: @hey-hamlet ) Rating: T Category: Gen ~4,100 words Summary: It started, as it always seemed to, on what was supposed to be a pleasant day. ---A Christmas shopping attempt gone wrong, Aizawa and Midoriya have to survive a strange nightmare quirk, all while trying to work out how to get out of there alive. Aizawa is injured, Midoriya is panicked. It's less a question of what could go wrong, but more what could go right. Another fic that has not left my soul since i read it. Some of it is truly terrifying in a way that I hope never haunts my own nightmares. and honestly isnt that reason enough to read it? While near death experiences bond people together well, nothing beats being trapped with someone in a nightmare that is feeding off of your deepest fears! If Aizawa wasn’t considering adoption before, he certainly is now. Found family before the monster finds you...0.o go read it, its a treat from another top notch writer!

well, thats 10! the next post will probably be misc. bnha one-shots. Enjoy and don’t forget to give the writers your souls love and comments!

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ironxkid · 3 years

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why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang?

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know?

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!!

#ooc #((I think I covered what I wanted and I hope it makes sense dgjhdfh #I'm pretty tired but I'm doing laundry so I figured I'd answer this while I wait #but yeah I don't care for CACW and I honest to god hate Endgame #the potential is there and it just never reached it))#((I'm not even gonna touch the Russos directing style #'hey guys we're gonna film a wedding sIKE IT'S A FUNERAL'#like?? MAJORLY different event fellas #also I'm literally going off what I remember from Endgame so I'm sure there's QUITE a bit I'm missing #but I'm not watching it to make a bigger salt post lol #I don't hate watch things because I would much rather watch something I'd enjoy #tbh I don't understand hate watching at all but that's a different conversation gsdfjhdfhj))#death mention tw #depression tw

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tsauergrass · 4 years

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Hi! I noticed your comment on gnarfs fic recs and was wondering what are you favourite fics and which you would recommend :)

oH it would not be an exaggeration to say I’ve been waiting for this ask since practically the day I created my blog lol (I’m so excited!!)

I do have a fic rec list sitting in my drafts (tagged forever ago by @rockmarina and still haven’t found the time to complete 😭) but oh dear here we go! In no particular order:

Running on Air by eleventy7

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

This fic is so beautiful it will break your heart without you even knowing it and you will be left aching for days. It will forever be my favorite fic and it is the most beautiful fic I have ever read—it is the one that brought me into Drarry when I didn’t even ship them! The loneliness is so well captured, the scenes so beautifully described, and both the suspense and the emotional storylines are so well crafted. td;lr: please go read this stunningly beautiful fic I promise you won’t be disappointed

The Lip-Lock Jinx by cassisluna

It's a jinx that renders the victim mute, unless he/she serves the purpose of the jinx and kisses the person that they desire. It's just Harry's luck that he's in love with Draco. HPDM, one-shot, eighth year.

Already fussed over it once but here we are again! Eighth-year fic, Draco is quieter but still witty, Harry is clumsy in his affections, Ginny is brilliant. It’s so soft you will place your hand on your chest and sigh, you will smile helplessly because your heart is brimming with softness. A dose of this fic on a bad day and I promise you will feel just the bit better.

Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by firethesound

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

Warning: MCD, it is—oh dear it is the angstiest fic I have ever read. It tore my heart out of my chest and it is so, so good. The writing is beautiful, I love the way Draco and Harry’s relationship progressed, I adore their characterization, how they bicker and care. Harry’s road to recovery is rocky and winding but it is,, so genuine. (I also adore the structure of this fic lol, the two timelines are weaved together seamlessly and it just fascinated me!) This fic will leave the most beautiful scar in your heart but really, if you can afford it, it is so worth it.

Grounds for Divorce by tepre

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

This is, like, the slowest slow burn of all slow burns. It’s a bond fic, as you will discover pretty soon into the story—but it proceeds so differently than I ever expected. It is messy, beautiful, winding, Harry and Draco proceed to take the same freakin path two thousand times without ever reaching the destination—but it’s all good, and you see the beauty in the messiness because that is how life is. And when they finally get themselves together it’s just, so sweet you can’t stop smiling and you can feel their happiness, so close to your heart. It’s a slow journey and you have to take it with them if you want to see it bear fruit, and you realize in the end it doesn’t matter how winding the paths are, because you were always going to reach that place. And stay. Like I lie in bed at one a.m. and I think about how Draco and Harry are sleeping together in Grimmauld and I wanna tear up. The prose is beautiful, and messy like the story itself, and I just adore the way everything is described, so authentic, and the way the start of the end is the beginning (no spoilers yes?) Go read it and afterwards sit at the same place for twenty minutes in complete awe and content

The Generation Who Lived by lettersbyelise

In the months leading up to the 10th anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy writes a series of articles about war survivors.

So far, he’s managed to interview everyone he wanted.

Everyone...except his old nemesis, his one-time lover, and the elusive war hero who stubbornly refuses to be featured in Draco’s interview series; Harry Potter.

This fic tackles so many different aspects of consent—and weaves them into the story itself so well. There are many controversial topics, and they were explored with honesty: nothing is shunned, nothing is avoided, there are many voices that challenge what you really think. And these are the best kind of fics, really. I especially love the characterization of Luna, because it is so difficult to get her right—but she is, wonderfully candid in her whimsical way, tripping you over in your own thought. I love Draco and Harry’s story as well, the misunderstanding and the miscommunication—the confrontation, a reminder for a lot of us that being upfront and honest is so so important. The way Draco is neither redeemed nor un-redeemed yet trying in his own way is also very dear to me.

Sharing Different Heartbeats and Let Them Wash Off in the Rain by talithan

Before Harry ever saw Draco’s room, before they ever shared a greasy order of chips or long-held secrets, before Draco’s boss ever tried to chat up Harry, they hadn’t even exchanged mobile numbers. To be fair, Draco didn’t have a mobile then.

It’s Harry’s first time in New York City, and he is determined to have a good time. How Draco Malfoy figures into this remains to be seen.

I recently discovered them and just, ahhh. Completely adore them! They are not related, just by the same author. Both are so gentle and it feels as if nothing really important is happening—and nothing is—but the feelings are there all the same, gentle too. It’s like sitting by the window listening to soft rain. The sky is grey, the lights are dim, and you’re not really thinking about anything... just listening to the rain falling...

These are some of my absolute favorites! There are many more, (so many more,) and if you’d like you can check the bookmarked recommendations on my ao3! (It’s a messy, rumpled place but) here are a few of them:

fly like paper, high like planes by harryromper

Harry Potter, Head Coach of the Appleby Arrows, is very content leading a quiet life. He has a doddery old house-elf who makes his breakfast, a team of players who love Quidditch almost as much as he does, and a Kneazle that curls against his damaged leg at the foot of his bed at night. The absolute last thing he needs is a fit, tattooed, and wildly talented Draco Malfoy back from living his life on the margins. Soon he’s dealing with goblins for the first time since the war, traveling to Prague, eating dodgy squid, and maybe, just maybe, accepting that Quidditch, Malfoy, and even Harry himself are still capable of change.

(I love Draco covered in tattoos, Draco with a family in Prague, Harry with disability, Harry and his kneazle, amazing OC’s)

Reigniting Harry Potter (A Task For Draco Malfoy) by QueenofThyme

Harry Potter is depressed and won't leave his house, or his bed if he can help it. Hermione has the bright idea to send Draco Malfoy over, who is surprisingly gentler than Harry realised, and might actually just be able to reignite a spark in Harry...if he stops being an arrogant prat of course.

(It’s a gentle story, I love the ending and the description of Harry’s depression just feels really genuine)

To Hurt and Heal by cassisluna

They say that everybody who gets out of Azkaban comes out a little mad. After the war, Draco Malfoy spends three months in Azkaban. He just wants to go insane in peace, but Harry Potter finds that he, inexplicably, still can't leave Draco alone.

(It’s. Heartbreaking and tender all at once)

Don’t let go by parkkate

When Draco ends up having to take care of Teddy’s new pet, he’s sure the universe is trying to torture him. Little does he know things are about to get so much worse. And of course, it involves one Harry Potter.

(The amount of cuddles is atrocious in the fic, I repeat, atrocious. The depth is also amazing and unexpected)

Take Into the Air (My Quiet Breath) by GuardianMira

Draco is dying of Hanahaki Disease. Serves him right, Harry thinks.

(But this is, like, the perfect Hanahaki disease fic. The perfect blend of angst and tension and relationship development with a heartbreaking, beautiful ending.)

Four Times Harry was Late...and One Time He was Late again by dracogotgame

Title says it all

(FLUFF. LOTS OF THEM. And it’s so clever you want to throw your phone across the room and clutch your heart and AWWWWWW, you’ll know it when you get there)

Talk to Me by Saras_Girl

When the usual channels of communication are shut down, the most surprising people can find a way in. A strange little love story.

(The setting is similar to The Lip-Lock Jinx, so very sweet!)

Slow Hands by eleventy7

Blood, shadows, and paper hearts. The Shadow hunts students, but Draco Malfoy most of all.

(This is,, beautiful. Gentle. Quiet, like when you wake up early before dawn and no one else is up.)

Everything a Word Can Mean and Constant Flux by rockmarina

In a world where magical people are born with the nickname their soulmate will call them by tattooed on their skin... what does it mean that the word on Harry's chest is the thing he hates to be called the most?

Harry Potter is the one constant in Draco's life, only each time in a very different way.

(These are just. Soft. Fluff. The first one is so poetic I love it so much, the second one gave me so much Feels)

Inferno by jadepresley

If he was ice then she was the fire, and though he loved her he was quite certain they were destined to destroy one another in the end.

(Okay this one is not Drarry but it will BLOW YOUR MIND. Seriously, the writing is so beautiful, the story so vivid, so strong. It will ring in your mind)

There we go! There are so many more fics I would gladly rec only this post is getting quite long. I would also recommend you check out the rest of an authors’ works if the first one you read fascinates you, you won’t be disappointed!

#fic rec #drarry fic rec #this took me QUITE A WHILE #to assemble and agonize over which ones I should include #as proven by the repeating there are many more!!!#and the formatting #I'm so sorry if it's messy #I literally squeaked in delight when I received this ask #thank u lovely anon

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spiders-hth-is-an-outlier · 5 years

Text

Ey, so, what happened is that I posted a Schitt's Creek fic late last night and went to bed. Then I overslept and went to work and then went straight to some family stuff after work, so by the time I checked up later this afternoon, there were not only comments, but also Discourse in the Comments – enough Discourse in the Comments that I decided that in addition to staying up late tonight to answer individual comments (which is a great problem to have! Fuck sleep, moar comments!), I should probably Address the Discourse in one go so I wouldn't have to repeat myself quite so much.

This is, arguably, a big mistake, since at the end of the day, people feel however they feel about the story, and they're certainly entitled to their feelings. For the most part, my chosen medium for self-expression is fiction, and I figure that if I failed to express myself adequately in the fiction, too bad for me. But what the hell, it's Pride and I like to hear myself talk, so if there is anyone who has questions or weird feelings about the choices I made in this story, I'm making this bit of my Writing Process transparent for you, so you at least know why I did what I did.

The gist, for onlookers, is that there's a moment deep in the middle of this David/Patrick story where Patrick says David is bisexual and David goes along with that, which rang false to some people because elsewhere in canon, David's father describes him as pansexual instead, and we generally assume – and I also assume! – that he does so because that's the label David prefers.

I feel like the easiest first layer of this to peel off is that, yes, Patrick is wrong. Patrick – a deeply closeted small-town boy with few or no close ties to The Community – hears his friend and co-worker talking about relationships with men and women, and he thinks to himself, “Oh, okay, he's bisexual, then,” because to most of the world, that's what bisexual means. I think he would have no reason to second-guess himself on that, or wonder if there's another term that David prefers. Patrick literally doesn't know enough about this issue to know that he might be wrong about it. What Patrick thinks he understands, he doesn't fully understand, and that's intentional, because the whole story is about Patrick being in this “messy middle part,” where he kind of doesn't know the rules and doesn't get things right.

That, I think, came across clearly to most readers, but there was still this question of, well, couldn't I have written David correcting this mistake, at that moment or somewhere else in the story, so that the reader would understand that I know Patrick is wrong and that I, personally, am not condoning the general practice of disregarding people's chosen labels.

And of course I could have. I didn't for two reasons, one of characterization and one of theme – but that's not an objectively correct choice, it's just the choice I made in service of this particular story. A different writer could have gone a different route and written a different story, and maybe that would've worked just as well! But it wouldn't have been a good call for this story.

First, just as a basic point of characterization, it's my take that David Rose actually doesn't feel strongly enough to object. We don't ever see him identify as anything – we see him talking freely about past experiences, but the one and only time he's called on to explain what he is to someone else, it's the scene while shopping with Stevie where (albeit through the lens of what I still feel is a somewhat labored metaphor), he gives a version of Ye Olde “I don't like labels” speech. To me, David is a pretty recognizable type: he thinks of himself as liking lots of stuff and free to do what he likes without being boxed in by other people's opinions, and he's carried forward with the exact same attitude he deployed when he came out to his parents: “I'm doing this, deal with it.” So even though I was aware, and I knew the reader would be aware, that Patrick was wrong, my thought on what seemed natural to David as a character was that I didn't really see him caring about the issue enough to derail what was actually going on in that conversation. That's my read on the character, and it may not match yours; that's fine, it doesn't have to.

However, characters aren't real and don't make decisions; writers do. It would be absurd for me to say, “Well, this is out of my hands, obviously it would happen this way, because Characterization.” I could have structured the whole scene differently, and I didn't. Instead, I wrote a scene where, arguably, a personal of marginalized identity is mis-labeled and doesn't seem to mind that much, and I think one fair response to that scene is to say, Maybe don't volunteer to write scenes that work out that way, when instead you could write in such a way as to demonstrate that you're on the side of not mis-labeling people of marginalized identities.

I did volunteer to write that scene, because I do think this story required that scene. When David says, “It's okay if you are, too” – even though he knows full well that it's not true – what he's actually saying is, “If what you need right now is a label for yourself that's factually wrong, I'm giving you permission to use it.” David is not bisexual and neither is Patrick. This is a scene where David explicitly gives Patrick an exit route if he needs one, where David is actively prioritizing being protective and comforting with Patrick over requiring Patrick to tell the truth. It's an act of generosity on his part, and it's an act of bravery on Patrick's part to refuse it. It's a brief exchange, but it's absolutely central to the moment Patrick is at, where he can't say true things yet but won't say false ones anymore, and the moment completely relies on the reader understanding that this word they're talking about – “bisexual” – is a dishonest word in this context. They're discussing whether or not it's okay to be dishonest, and David's take is “sure, if you need that, then do it” while Patrick's is “that would be going backwards and I'm not letting myself down like that.” David and the reader know that it's a dishonest word in both cases, while Patrick only recognizes that about himself, because again, there's a lot that Patrick doesn't know yet. He's just now learning.

I write a lot of scenes that are “two people in a room talking,” and if done badly, those can be excruciatingly dull. I don't like dull; I like writing things that feel taut and have forward motion and tension, because I think that's what makes a scene memorable. So every time I sit down to write yet another “these two dudes are going to be in a room talking for a while” scene, there are questions I ask myself about what's happening here and why it should happen, because otherwise I'm violating the first and only law of fiction, which is Don't Waste Your Reader's Fucking Time.

The first question is: what's the premise here? What's the situation that confronts these characters, that they're going to be responding or reacting to? And the other question is: how are they going to respond and react to that situation in two productively different ways – ways that are in conflict or incompatible or in competition? If I know what's going on, and I know how these two people are seeing it differently and making different arguments about what should happen next, there's a natural tension of competing agendas that wants to resolve itself at the end, or carry over to the next scene.

In “1001,” my premise is: Patrick is undergoing a process of transformation with regard to his sexual identity that takes time and doesn't really proceed linearly and logically. That's what's happening. The way he's responding to that is, he's frustrated and embarrassed, because he feels like he's failing to master this situation, like it's getting the better of him no matter how he tries to set rules for it. The way David is responding to the premise is, he's trying to curb and mitigate these ways that Patrick is judging himself harshly, trying to get Patrick to accept that the middle is just messy and things will be a mess until they aren't anymore. Patrick is facing a challenge, and they're ultimately in an argument about whether or not Patrick is failing it.

That's why I wanted Patrick to be wrong about certain things – I wanted him to authentically be kind of messy, which shows up in little ways from how he can't get the till counted and he can't say gay and he can't put his finger on the song he's thinking of, and not yet speaking the insider-language fluently is part of that. But more importantly, that's why David's reaction couldn't really involve correcting Patrick's use of the insider-language, because the whole meaning of the story is that David is actively refusing to agree that what's going on with Patrick right now is a problem that needs correcting.

A startling number of writing issues are actually philosophical issues, and this is probably one of them. Like I said, fiction is my main medium for telling people what I think about the world, and the role that I have David playing in this story, as the older, more experienced queer person, is what it is because I have been the older, more experienced queer person trying to figure out how to help someone who's brand new to everything – and what I've come to believe through these experiences is that while there is a time and a place for educators, for being the person who says “actually, that's not quite right, we say or do this instead of that,” the on-the-ground reality is that if people are still in a state of extreme vulnerability and self-doubt, they have a far, far greater need for people who will affirm them rather than instruct them.

Someone in Patrick's place, who is stuck between an old belief and a new self, who feels like they're failing and floundering, who thinks it's easy for other people and hard for them because they're messier or more broken or more cowardly than everyone else, deserves to be received with compassion and told that messy is fine, not knowing is fine, this process is normal and they are fine. The story I wanted to write was about David giving that grace and spaciousness to Patrick, and it ended with Patrick accepting it at least enough to say “this will just take care of itself if I give it enough time” about the song thing, which stands in a bit for his problem-solving approach to the whole situation (because then we know as readers that when he finds the “best song” he's unlocked the whole thing, and we know that's coming, just like David told him the end would come). It's my opinion that having David double back, at any point in the story, and say “actually, that's not quite right, you should have said this instead” would have fatally undermined everything about the alternative argument David is presenting about the nature of Patrick's situation. Patrick is the one who worries about getting this right; David is the one who wants him to be okay with being wrong for now.

And like most writers, when I set up those dueling arguments, I am actually coming down on one side or the other by the end: David's side. I didn't have David correcting him because I think David wouldn't correct him, but even more than that because I think the nature and structure of this story makes it ethically right for David to hold back from correcting him. I think he's the one being the hero here, by accepting Patrick's messiness and imperfection and just taking the approach of, yeah, it's all new, it's tough going, but even though you don't feel fine right now, you are fundamentally fine.

You as a reader don't have to accept that moral argument. You can think it would have made David a better person to model a commitment to truth, to set a higher standard and ask Patrick to live up to it. That's okay! It's totally fine to be like, “I see that this writer wants me to feel one way about this, but actually I just don't, I think that's dead wrong.” Other writers are going to tackle stories about what it feels like to be part of Patrick's coming-out story, both in his role and in David's role, and those writers can and should make their own best arguments, in stories that are built to be about whatever they want to say about coming out. Those stories will just be different from mine, which is great, that's what having a voice as a writer means – that you're thoughtfully constructing stories in ways that express how you see the world, not how anybody else does it.

And if you read “1001” and you cared enough about it to have an opinion, I genuinely appreciate your time and the thought you put into it. Thank you.

#hth fic

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voxofthevoid · 5 years

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Oh man I was reading "I'm a ghost, You're and angel" for the 10000 time, and there was a little interaction that just got my brain spinning, where Steve asks Bucky if he's on a honeypot mission. What would it be like if the answer was yes? Bucky definitely enjoying the sex and /enthusiastically/ consenting, but at the same time there's an undercurrent of like... he's saying yes because he wants to, but he would still say yes if he didn't want to. Because sometimes bosses are just like that, man.

Hello, there’s a fun question. Grab a seat, anon, we’ll be here a while!

So that question is kind of a pivotal moment for the story in terms of tone and content. The plot of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel is what it is because Bucky said yes to that question because it makes honesty the basis of their evolving relationship. Not honesty in the sense of complete disclosure but more of this tacit understanding that they both have about each other. So Steve knows that Bucky has orders to spy on him, but Bucky also knows - he’s not 100% sure, but 99.8, let’s say - that Steve knows what Fury wants, and again, Steve knows Bucky knows Steve knows.

Typing that gave me a headache, and I apologize for what it will do to you.

And what tips them both into this unspoken understanding is that question. Is Bucky fucking Steve on Fury’s orders? Nope, they can move on. Steve, who’s been tentatively seeing Bucky as a possible ally, pretty much decides at that moment that Bucky’s on his side and his loyalty to SHIELD is the problem if he wants Bucky to join the Avengers. That’s his angle, from that point onwards. It’s why most of the conflict - which is sparse to begin with because let’s face it, I write more porn than plot - is external. Bucky’s easy to seduce to the dark side because he very much wants to be there, with Steve and the Avengers.

Now, if we take that question and make its answer yes, then we’ll have a whole lot of complications, which I wouldn’t have been able to finish in 3 chapters tbh.

Scenario #1 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky admits that it is, but that he’d sleep with Steve anyway of his own will.

In this case, we have the same kind of honesty as in the fic, except that undertone of “he would still say yes if he didn’t want to” is there, and Steve would be very aware of it. He wouldn’t have sex with Bucky at the point he did in the fic and would probably be working through his own issues about fucking him in his apartment, early in chapter 1. Meanwhile, Bucky would be - well, very thirsty. UST galore. Natasha would be the definition of done, and Clint would just cackle in private. They’d end up in similar straits as in the fic ultimately; they’d just take a longer, more curvy path to resolve their personal matters as opposed to the professional side of it. Because it wasn’t just the process of falling for Steve that got Bucky to switch sides, it was also what Steve saw in him as a person and an agent, and how the Avengers worked together.

Scenario #2 - Steve asks whether it’s a honeypot and Bucky convincingly lies that it isn’t

Scenario 2.5 exists where Bucky lies but unconvincingly. But that's not relevant because the plot would wither and die a very quick death there.

Okay, so, this one would be a long fucking fic. We have Bucky who’s very much attracted to Steve but also cool with fucking him on SHIELD’s orders. We already know he’s been on honeypot missions before, that he’s decent at it, and it would be easier with Steve because Bucky doesn’t have to convince him that the attraction is real because it is real. Problem will be later on, once Bucky starts to fall for Steve while also developing a soft spot for what he has seen of the Avengers.

I think the split in the plotline would be the end of chapter two, where instead of telling Steve that Fury sent Bucky to gather info - which they both know Steve already knows - Bucky would confess that he lied to Steve and that the mission was a honeypot.

I don’t have a clear idea of how exactly things would proceed, but there would be angst and temporary separations. Steve would do what Bucky asked and terminate his deal with Fury. Bucky would return to SHIELD and pine.

Pine a lot.

And then, I don’t know. More interactions during missions that just happen to intersect, ill-advised passion-fueled sex, fraught conversations under gunfire, all that fun shit. The fic would definitely need an Angst with a Happy Ending tag.

Scenario #3 - Bucky decides to play the long game, doesn’t tell Steve at the end of chapter 2 that it’s a honeypot, and pretends to defect from SHIELD

In terms of plot, we’d have the entirety of i’m a ghost, you’re an angel as it is, with certain changes at the beginning of chapter 3. The interior monologue would be a very different beast though. Bucky’s characterization would also be significantly different, though still in line with what we see in if you’re looking for jesus.

The sex would be Complicated in that they both want it but:

Bucky’s still on a mission and would’ve said yes either way

Steve doesn’t know and thinks Bucky’s doing this solely out of personal interest

Dubious Consent tag, anyone?

And after the plot-as-we-know-it ends, things would get a lot more complicated, especially in Bucky’s head. Caught between SHIELD and Steve but in a way far more intense and with higher stakes than the series.

There would be one or two scenes of Thou Hast Betrayed Me and the likes. Would it end happy? Yeah, probably, because I’m predictable like that, but then, my definition of a happy ending can accommodate a lot of fucked-upery so there’s that.

I won’t be writing any of these scenarios, but if anyone wants to give it a shot, go right ahead.

[Also, I’m scheduling this for a few hours later so that it won’t get buried in my queued posts]

#anon #i love my anons #fic: guilty of treason #mcu #stucky #discussions of dubious consent

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the-nysh · 6 years

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Whats your opinon of kiri//baku and todo//deku?

!!!!! 👀 Oooh, *takes deep breath* so I’ve finally been askedthe big question. (Thank you for courteously using the /s to block the ship names out of the tags) Because I DO have opinionsabout them. I’ve mostly kept them to myself, but since I’ve been prompted, Iwill try to be as honest and thorough as I can. :’)

Disclaimer: If you high-key shipeither of the two, please proceed with caution!

To preface:

If it wasn’t already obvious from the content I reblog (and rave about in thetags), my decisive fav character of the series is Kacchan, and similarly, my otp of the series is with him and Deku(as bakudeku, aka bkdk for short – which is how it’scommonly called on twitter). So going in, that’s my given stance already.

But it wasn’t always this way! :O When I first started theseries I went in pretty cautious, wary, and undecided; I actually never plannedto fall so hard for either the character or the ship (and I rarely ship things tobegin with). That is, until Hori repeatedly bludgeoned me in the face and heartwith all the reoccurring and carefully consistent character development, to thepoint ch120 became the final, decisive nail in the coffin - the point of noreturn for me. :’3 So now, I’m fully invested in seeing how their story pulls through to the end, nomatter what it might become (it doesn’t even need to be shippy). With them thematically established as two sidesof the same coin – on opposite ends of the same spectrum of heroism – the twohalves of All Might who both win and rescue:I want to see how they push each other towards greatness and mature into a pairof the best heroes. It’s a long-term investment of hope and a case of slowburn positive development, in direct (and on purpose!) contrast to its rockyand strained foundations (they ARE immature and emotionally constipated teensafter all), but it’s all been carefully laid out through a steady path ofnarrative foreshadowing. Where the prospects at the end of that path – of mutualsupport, understanding, reconciliation, cooperation, teamwork, trust – arebeautiful and rewarding things that make their ongoing journey of growth worthit. So…for Hori to smash any original expectations I might have had, and makeme fall hard for something I never intended to happen, are examples of whatI consider GOOD writing.

After I realized this, I went and did my research. Which inmy case, is reading up on countless character/relationship meta and fanfics togauge how the fandom sees their potential too. So I am very aware of the multiple sides of existing arguments and the dramathat’s already happened in the fandom (from across both tumblr and twitter). Iknow the western fandom considerably favors kr/bk and td/dk (at least for now), BUT in the eastern fandom,it’s actually bkdk that’s more popular. Hmm, curious why that is?

One of the reasons is partly thanks to the widespread availabilityof fan mistranslations (FA group) that have greatly exaggerated certain characterizations(ie Kacchan), leading to fandom fearmongering and the perpetuation of stigmasagainst the canon development of certain relationships (ie bkdk), which in theoriginal text, were never nearly thatflanderized or as offensive in context to begin with. Include also, adifference in cultural expectations/values, and we get a prickly concoction ofmisunderstandings ready to brew. It’s a poor and unfortunate case of important subtleties/complexitiesgetting lost in translation, while the bad things are blown way out ofproportion, to the point the story’s original intent is sidelined, or worse, canonis deliberately obstructed by translators who already dislike seeing suchcontent (because it’s ‘not their ship’) – so they prevent and hurt othersfrom fully enjoying the progression of the series as the author intended. Peoplecan like what they like (that’s perfectly fine), but in all of my lurking, Ihave SEEN examples of these things (andworse) actively happen, and quite frankly, the spread of this blatant toxicityand compulsive collective ignorance sickens me. So, I choose not to getinvolved with it, and instead focus on the positive.

Because of my preference for meta and faithfulinterpretations of the text (making sure available translations are reliablefor analyzing, for instance), I’ve gathered enough information (andacknowledged enough counterarguments) to make an educated decision for myself onwhat I value most and want to see from the series. Unless Hori veers offotherwise, I’ll stick by that conclusion and enjoy following the series throughto fruition (regardless of what the rest of the opposing fandom might say).

For example, one of the first dedicated and respectful metawriters – back when only the FA scans were available, but who ALSO providedcorrections from the Japanese text where necessary, came to this conclusionabout Deku and Kacchan’s characterizations:

From ryokure:

“Deku is such a super special case that if a fanfichas him and Kacchan in it - no matter the parings - and they don’t have somecase of mutual obsession, I actually consider that OOC.”

Which, after everything I’ve seen of the characters, I can fully concur withthat statement.

MEANING, if the fandom portrays them off alone, together, or involvedin relationships with other characters and they lack this intrinsic magnetism that binds them together (for betteror worse) – if they can somehowfunction completely normal without being influenced by the presence of anotherand magically not even care about each other anymore, then my suspension of disbeliefbreaks. They’re too OOC. (Unless it’s a fic au where they never met or grew uptogether.) These two are TOO canonically wrapped up in their mutual complexesto simply cut ties, wrap up all their unresolved issues with a band-aid,and essentially ignore a core issue of the series for the sake of ‘shipconvenience’ with others. Their canon relationship is too complex to make such simplifiedportrayals of them believable, or even such flimsy ‘solutions’ for their issuesfeasible. Thankfully, we have Hori actively doing all the hard work for us sowe don’t have to worry about such transgressions like that happening in canon. (InHori’s consistent characterizations we trust!)

Now then, with all of THISestablished, I can finally answer your main question: my opinion on kiri/bakuand todo/deku.

Let’s start with todo/deku:

Because believe it or not, when I was still new to the fandom and in my earlyresearch stages, I actually lowkey shipped them and read plenty of fics aboutthem too! I was open to them as a pair, but still undecided and wary because I didn’t know who to ship withDeku: either Todoroki or Bakugou. I saw all the widespread (western) fandomcontent for td/dk, with the apparent foundations for the ship based on eventsfrom the Sports Festival, where Deku ‘saves’ Todoroki and acts as the catalystto allow him to defrost his issues with his father and realize his true power.I thought, ‘ooh there’s something interesting in there worth looking forwardto; I’ll keep an eye on how canon develops their relationship from here.’

Unfortunately…canon didn’t give me anything else substantial to build on. Andin my case, those are foundations I NEED to be fully on board and convinced fora ship. It was the equivalent of fandom hyping me up for something to lookforward to, with me sitting there with a huge smile and my arms raised inanticipation…only for the rest of the manga to leave me dry. It was a hugedisappointment. Because except for a few scattered incidents, like from theStain arc and maybe the recent ‘it’s ok for heroes to cry sometimes too’moment, canon progress for their relationship has been severely underwhelmingand virtually nonexistent. Todoroki has chilled into becoming a supportive (yetstill socially awkward) friend for Deku yes, but even Iida has had more canon incidents of concern for Deku’s wellbeing,and challenges Deku into becoming a better person/hero with their interactions.(And yet, fandom support for Deku and Iida is virtually nonexistent incomparison, because their friendship resembles the camaraderie between bros, Iguess??)

So then I was like, ‘wait, am I missing something here? WHY does the fandomlove td/dk so much, when their canon interactions are so limited, and the onlybig thing that’s happened between them was all the way back in the SportsFestival??’ So, I went and investigated the potential of their relationshipfurther in fanfics (which are quite numerous and popular on a03 I might add).

After taking a look, I began to see trends. Most td/dk fics are heavily skewed in Todoroki’s favor, tothe point of being practically one-sided in character development. The mainconflict in almost all their ficnarratives revolves around solving Todoroki’s issues with his father and comingto terms with HIS powers, leaving Deku as a passive, supporting participant inhelping Todoroki out with his problems. Which, while the two of them could bondtogether over their missing/difficult father issues, after a while this same familyconflict gets old and stale. What else is there? What about Deku’s problems for equality’s sake?He’s the main protagonist! How abouthis difficulties in learning how to make One for All his own too? Ah nope, hecan’t canonically confide in Todorokiabout the secrets of his quirk, now can he. ;) Oh wait. What about his problems with Bakugou? Is the biggest elephant in the room going to be ignored for the sakeof typical couple melodrama, or is my fav character going to be demonized so that Todoroki, the ‘prince’on a white horse, can ‘save’ Deku, the ‘damsel’ in distress, from him?! No way. And THAT is another hugeproblem I have with the ship.

Because in all the fics I’ve read of them, I never once was convinced ofDeku’s feelings for Todoroki. I can understand Todoroki gaining a passing crushon Deku thanks to their fight in the Sports Festival. But Deku? How does heeven fall for him? Just becauseTodoroki is nice and considerate and listens to him? Like a friend? (Deku has Uraraka and Iida forthat too, what makes Todoroki any more special than them in Deku’s life?) Thisties in to my previously mentioned suspension of disbelief and ooc territorynow. Because Deku is not some haplessdamsel in distress ready to be swept off his feet and easily charmed by somepotential suitor; he’s a BAMF with a heroic spirt that’s even feared byBakugou. And these traits are so rarely utilized to their full potential intd/dk fics - Todoroki’s influence rarely even challenges or inspires Deku toBECOME the best he can be to draw out his latent potential. (Iida’s canonicallydone more in that regard thanTodoroki’s ever done.) Again, it feels too one-sided in Todoroki’s favor toimprove as a better person/hero.

Oh yeah, and since Deku became one of Todoroki’s first ‘true friends,’ forTodoroki to fall for him feels like putting too many eggs in one basket,without giving Todoroki the chance tobranch out and make normal/healthy relationships with OTHERS first beforesettling down. He’s a socially awkward kid emotionally repressed by domesticabuse; for him to latch onto Deku, the ‘first’ person he’s finally (andliterally) warmed up to, feels like the budding symptoms of unhealthy copingmechanisms and compensating for Todoroki’s deeper emotional issues. Where it thenbecomes Deku’s ‘responsibility’ to care for the turnout of his wellbeing, whenNO - Deku’s got plenty of his OWN issues to become burdened with someone else’s on top of those. Plus in canon,Todoroki’s doing just fine and is perfectly capable of handling his personal problems onhis own without having to depend on Deku.

Again, it’s all touchy territory that feels like it sidelines the mainintent of the series itself – by branching off into the deep end of Todoroki’sangst at the expense of Deku’s, or worse: simply wrapping everything up with afluffy bow called ‘the power of love.’ Nuh-uh, not only is that immenselyidealistic and unrealistic, but it’s totally not the kind of content I signedup for when I started the series. I’m frankly not interested in delving into thoseoff-tangent topics in opposition to canon, where Deku’s problems are oftensidelined, his characterization compromised, and my fav character (Kacchan) eitherbecomes an exaggerated, antagonizing impediment to their ship or is simplytreated like he doesn’t even exist. (My patience and willing suspension of disbeliefonly go so far.)

In the end, Todoroki’s a supportingcharacter. In a tertiary tier after the protagonist (Deku) and the deuteragonist(Bakugou). Yet in td/dk fics he’s almost always turned into a main protagonistsomehow. I can understand his appeal and why he’s so popular in the fandom, yes(and I like him too!), but there’s a point where this exposure becomes TOO much,the limit to his available canon issues becomes saturated and repetitive, and itultimately becomes so tiring to keepcoming back and addressing the same topics in fanon when canon has alreadymarched on to focus on more pressing issues. I’m more interested in exploring those other things.

So nowadays, whenever I see td/dk content, I go ‘ayy that’s nice (or cute),’and keep on scrolling. It doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t interest meanymore either. I probably won’t touch anymore fics of them together either;I’ve seen and had enough. I’m actually more receptive to seeing Todorokiinteract and develop friendships with other characters, like Inasa (the wind guy from the rival school)or even Momo for instance. Either of those ships I see around, I’m cool withtoo.

The final line: I don’t ship them (anymore), because canon swayed me over with the more pressing and compelling developments of bkdk.

NOW, it’s time to talk about kiri/baku:

To start, I actually LOVE Kirishima as a character. And I’ve alreadyestablished upfront that my fav character in the series is Kacchan. So whatgives? It turns out their ship has neverbeen on my radar.

Kirishima is a great character, but I’ve only ever seen him as a supportive bro. To EVERYONE in their class. Whichis precisely how Hori designed him: to be a compassionate/empathetic nice guywho bridges the gaps between the class with his vigorous enthusiasm and support(same role that Denki shares, by the way). And he fulfils this role splendidly.But he ALSO has his own insecurities and developing friendships with manyothers in the class – Denki, Mina, and Deku included. All of those people areimportant to him (and I’m cool with all their ships with him too). Kirishimadoes not solely revolve aroundBakugou.

It’s true that near the beginning of the series, Bakugou was an angry loner,Kirishima trailed after him on his own accord, and after seeing his version of‘manliness’, decided to stick by him and support him, because Kiri saw thepositives of his character that ‘no one’ else bothered to see. (NOT true; Dekuhas always seen and admired Kacchan’spositive traits since they were children.)And so what’s canonically established is a budding friendship where Kirishimafulfils his given role to bridge gaps (whenever Bakugou strays away from theclass), essentially working as a rubber band plot device, and as a secondperspective – aka a fresh lens, for the audience to view Bakugou’s positivequalities.

All of this I’m cool with. I actually enjoyseeing their canon interactions and the kind of fun, slapstick way they bounceoff each other. (I even like the concept of Dragon!Kiri too!) BUT, it’s whenfanon starts twisting their canon relationship into shippy territory, that’swhere things start getting…ugly, at least for me.

Remember, I’ve always only seen Kirishima as a supportive bro, and I MEAN that. They have the samered eyes. The same style of spikey hair. The same pumped up mannerisms whenthey get going. Too many similarities that rub me the wrong way when put in aromantic context. (The only difference is that one of them is the soft-hearted ‘niceguy,’ and the other is the outwardly prickly ‘asshole.’) To me, to ship them feels like the equivalentof taking the parallel ends of two polarized magnets: you can manually forcethem close together, but in the end, they cannot touch because the same ends ofmagnets naturally repel. Now, flip one of those magnets around (aka turn it intoDeku), and boom, the opposite ends attract with explosive force. And THAT ishow bkdk feels to me in comparison.

However, the kr/bk fandom doesn’t stop there. I know there exists plenty of fics about them, but I’ve never read any, and frankly, I never will, not even for curiosity’ssake. Because from the overabundance of otherfandom content, I already know what their ship dynamic is about. And it doesnot appeal to me at all.

Remember how I said Kacchan is my favorite. I do not appreciate when thefandom warps him into either a demonized or castrated caricature of himself –aka when they turn him into someone he most definitely is NOT, all for the sakeof a ship. Or worse: when they use Kiri’s relationship as a means of changingBakugou into a character they findmore appealing. NO. Even more worse: when they treat Kiri’s whole character as awalking plot device for ALL of Bakugou’s positive character development. Fuckno! Kirishima doesn’t deserve this dehumanizing treatment by the fans, andneither does my fav, getting subjected to this…betrayal to his whole character.

What am I talking about? When fans insist that Kiri is the ONLY personBakugou can be ‘nice’ to, outright forsaking or ignoring the canon developmentseither of them have with other characters – what about Denki, the rest of the‘Bakusquad’? Or Deku? Remember my dislike for ignoring the elephant in the room back in my spiel about td/dk?Well here, it’s infinitely times worse.

Because Kiri does not become aconvenient narrative replacement to ‘solve’ all of Bakugou’s problems or themeans to correct his bad behavior. It’s not even Kiri’s business orresponsibility to do so! (Same deal if Uraraka is shipped in Kiri’s place.) Hispresence doesn’t challenge Bakugou’s current conduct or world views to improvehimself as a better person, OR actively affect his drive to become the best hero.At most, Kiri endures the brunt of Bakugou’s outbursts when they happen(because he can harden with his quirk, he can ‘take’ it, and their banterbecomes ‘humorous’ and ‘harmless’…no, it absolutely does not) and amicably slides off any further implications with a ‘heyman, that’s not cool’, or excuses/accepts it with a ‘it’s fine because he’s justbeing himself.’ Now we have a situation where Kiri becomes a passive ‘butt-monkey’to Bakugou’s whims and actually enableshis unacceptable behavior to persist. And Bakugou somehow becomes fully invested in a single confidant who babies andpicks up after him (how the heck? no way would he allow himself to get ropedinto a relationship like that, if any at all. He’s strong and independent enoughto handle himself fine.). Even when it’s portrayed where Kiri is the ‘only’ oneBakugou’s nice to, they’d exist in a vacuum tunnel, sealed off from the influenceof others, and become a spiraling fester-hole of static development. None ofthese prospects are the ‘healthy’ long-term results that fandom seems to claimthey are. Tell me, if Bakugou was reallyan abusive character, would his behavior magically ‘fix’ itself simply thanksto Kiri’s passive influence or ‘the power of his understanding kindness and love’?The answer is a resounding and definite NO. The only person who can canonically stand up to Bakugou’s behavior (andnot brush it off), fundamentally challengehis world views and complexes, match him in equal and opposite intensity with themutual drive to be the best, and receivethe full extent of his turbulent feelings, is Deku.

This is what I’m referring to when I say fandom often ‘ignores the elephantin the room,’ because THIS (Deku and Kacchan’s relationship) is an established,ongoing and important core issue of the series itself, that many shippers wouldrather sideline for the priority, current gratification, and fluffy convenienceof an opposing ship. Aka, simply slap them together with the first nice friend theymeet (in both Todo and Baku’s cases, it’s the ‘too many eggs in one basket’problem again…), who will solve all their problems and work to ‘change’ theminto better people…somehow? No, that’s the case of unrealistic, wishful thinking bad writing andtaking the easy way out when something -the elephant in the room- is too challengingand complex to tackle head on. Thankfully, Hori IS tackling their story head onas purposely intended, so I don’t have to worry about canon jumping the sharkon the progress of their relationship.

So, instead of Kiri being shipped with Bakugou, I much prefer him as a supportingcharacter (a supportive bro!!) who helps ease Bakugou into social/emotionalsituations that he’d normally avoid (which is how Hori originally designedhim??? to bridge those gaps -aka Bakugou’s loner distance - in the class) I’veread plenty of bkdk fics where Kiri becomes the mvp BECAUSE of his natural abilityto do this! With him as a much-needed wingman, voice of empathetic reason, and trustedsecond opinion who Bakugou can confide in to help confront his chronicemotional constipation over Deku. Shipperscan claim that Kiri helps Baku come to terms and become receptive to ‘softer,’ affectionatefeelings when they’re together, when it’s actually the opposite: Kiri becomes astepping stone for Bakugou to learn how to ‘make friends’ with other people whenthey’re apart. ‘Other people’ meaning: Denki, the ‘squad’, Todoroki, the restof the class…and most importantly, Deku.Let my son -Kacchan- learn how to form healthy, genuine relationships withpeople again, so he can gain the necessary experience and maturity to reproach hislifelong treatment of Deku and decide to patch up their relationship on his own terms. This, I feel, is a much more satisfyingoutcome and effective use of Kiri’s character, both in his involvement withBakugou and for the long-run benefit of the series itself.

But instead of seeing it this way, much of the (western) fandom overexaggerates the importance of Kiri and Baku’s relationship, to the point it notonly overshadows the content of other ships, but obfuscates the actual translated GEN contentof canon itself. (WHY!?!) I’m not even going to touch the propensity, hypocrisy, and irony of their shippers to harassand bully others for their opposing shipping preferences (that’s a whole other can of worms). Overall,it’s gotten so bad and obnoxiously rampant that I’ve been forced to block the ship tag for my own sanity and enjoyment of theseries. The ONLY time it’s ever beenrequired for me to use the blacklist function here, and that’s saying something.

Therefore: I support their friendship as supportive bros, but kr/bk as a ship was never on myradar. I’ve never shipped it, and I will notbecome interested in their potential as a pair. I used to be ok with seeing fan content of them around…until thefandom essentially and unfortunately soured it into a notp for me. Welp!

And there we have it, my full opinion on both ships. I hope that satiatesanyone’s curiosity on the matter, as so far I’ve had plenty of personal reasonsto stay in my own lane and only show my avid support for bkdk. This I’ve confidently decided and I will continue todo so, for as long as I’m invested in the series.

For some further reading and similar informed opinions:

http://explodo-smash.tumblr.com/post/165154054112/not-to-pit-ships-against-one-another-but-i

http://explodo-smash.tumblr.com/post/163895267877/why-do-you-ship-bakugou-and-deku-if-its-abusive

http://tinyshinysylveon.tumblr.com/post/168731953134

https://punkbakugo.tumblr.com/post/170514358890/do-you-think-that-the-fandom-over-exaggerates

Also related: my opinions about Kac/chako. And Izu/Ocha.

Edit: now cross-posted on a03

#Anonymous #replies #bnha #bkdk #meta #shipping #rom it’s time to bring out our salt shakers because it’s PARTY TIME 8D #(whoever makes it thru the nearly 4000 words gets a cookie :'D)#honestly i never expected to get an ask about this but time makes it inevitable i suppose :')#therefore i put in both the time and honesty to speak for myself and other bkdk supporters #my opm followers are welcome to check this monster out too #just to see how much salt i’m packing and normally hold back #(this will not become a regular occurrence - unless i'm explicitly asked for more of my opinions on the matter)#anyway for those with similar solidarity: enjoy! :)

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nolifepoints · 7 years

Text

Was thinking about the differences in situation and characterization between my main fic contexts, because (at least in my mind) they’re pretty different takes on the same characters.

There’s a certain core in the way that I view them, a similar voice, a similar connection, but -- certain details differ, and they have grown into themselves in different and sometimes incompatible ways.

Sometimes I feel like I’m weird because I don’t tend to look at a character (especially a complex character) and wind up with one immutable view of them, especially when it comes to introducing outside concepts and extrapolating into post-canon. I can easily wind up liking multiple headcanons that are dead opposite of one another, for example -- not at the same time, but like, “This is where this character might diverge and here’s what I think would happen if they made that decision instead of this other one.” Idk, I just see people really deadset on what a given character would or wouldn’t do sometimes, and I get that -- but with many concepts, that’s not really me.

So, that said, here is a lot of musing on my fic characterization of Kaiba and Jounouchi, primarily focused on SD and university AU, as those two are the most developed. I doubt this will be of interest to most, mostly just trying to get it down somewhere concrete, but. :P I’m not kidding this is like 10 paragraphs.

University AU Jou and Kaiba, despite being older than SD Jou and Kaiba, arguably have their lives together less, or at least they’re more uncertain about what they want out of life (on the surface they’re doing pretty well for themselves). Uni Jou has been a lot more ambitious than SD Jou ever was and came out of it feeling restless and dissatisfied, causing him to shrink back from his dream and try something else. It is what he wants right now, and it is good for him, but in a sense he’s also hiding; he has to either regain his confidence or really commit to a different path. In his heart, he still hasn’t.

SD Jou, on the other hand, has a humble and unexciting life that he’s nonetheless pretty happy with. The quiet was what he wanted, at least for now, and he can’t imagine a more fun job than working with Yuugi... things are good. Still, he can’t forget about Kaiba and still feels the need to seek him out, once they reestablish contact. He’s actually prepared to move on from that part of his life, but he wants Kaiba to be the one to burn the bridge so he can truly convince himself there’s nothing he can do anymore... and Kaiba just won’t do it.

Uni Kaiba’s core issues are, to some extent, a magnification of SD Kaiba’s: they’re both lonely but self-isolating, and while SD Kaiba is struggling with the concept of Mokuba growing up and apart, Uni Kaiba is in the thick of it. They’re past the growing pains in the university AU, with a slightly more balanced relationship, but in order for that to have happened, Kaiba had to let go more and accept that Mokuba is an adult who asserting his independence now. In the wake of this, has no idea what to do with himself. He can hardly stand to be in that manor alone and stays close to Mokuba as often as work-related excuses will allow.

But this is also a 23, 24 year old Kaiba who’s still very much hurting over the loss of Atem and feeling powerless over his inability to prove himself now -- something much fresher for 20 year old SD Kaiba but also something he might work on in a meaningful way sooner, especially once he opens up to Jounouchi. Uni Kaiba has buried it a lot deeper, and the way that it interacts with Uni Jou’s issues (jealousy compounding the fact that he misses Atem too) make a conversation about Atem between them a little less helpful and a little more explosive right now.

SD Kaiba’s biggest issue is probably ambivalence, though. Uni Kaiba may suck at processing his emotions just the same, but he is a lot better equipped to pursue at least some of the things he wants and will do so proactively. SD Kaiba doesn’t really have an interest in sex, for example, but Uni Kaiba uses the occasional casual, discrete sexual encounter as a way to distract himself. He doesn’t mind being physical with Jounouchi; he acknowledges that element of his attraction and lets himself indulge in it completely because he can convince himself that it doesn’t mean anything. It puts a bandaid over the gaping wound of his loneliness while still maintaining his self-imposed solitude (despite that solitude becoming more and more suffocating).

This is not a thing SD Kaiba would ever do. It isn’t what he wants, and he’s struggling with the very idea of letting Jounouchi into his life in any capacity. He can’t hold out forever, but admitting what he wants to himself and to Jounouchi isn’t going to be easy. Where Uni Kaiba has done his best to bury his grief for Atem, SD Kaiba can’t, so the only thing he knows to do is absolutely avoid seeing anyone who carries too many memories. He just doesn’t want to think about it -- but he desperately needs to.

And SD Jou’s biggest issue (at least where their relationship is concerned) is probably also ambivalence, in that he can’t decide whether to stay or go. He’s fighting his own stubbornness and trying to do what’s best for both of them, which at this point he’s concluded is probably “give up and leave him alone.” But he’s struggling with that, so he’s prolonged the situation by hoping that, once he’s got everything off his chest, Kaiba will confirm that giving up is the right thing to do (or, less likely, accept him... which is of course what Jou really wants).

It’s honestly a pretty unfair thing to expect of Kaiba, but it’s not just out of selfish desire and wishful thinking (though of course that’s part of it). They both feel the pull, and Jou can tell that Kaiba isn’t in a good place right now. He’s as worried about abandoning Kaiba as he is plaguing him. He wants to know what Kaiba wants, and Kaiba doesn’t know either (or -- doesn’t want to know). It’s a difficult dance.

And of course dragon AU is a whoooole other thing. :v I won’t go into that too much since I’ve talked so much already, but there are mutual feelings of betrayal and longing to contend with. Thank goodness Yuugi is there. There’s also their portrayal in sock wars, which is not out yet, but I’ve been working on it for an embarrassingly long time. It’s the most domestic take, with a firmly established relationship; the biggest conflicts are uncertainty about how that relationship should proceed and, of course, the sock issue (which is, in the grand scheme of things, a humorous examination of Kaiba having to accept a lack of control over things that aren’t his choice and don’t actually affect him beyond his irrational fixation on them... it’s a learning experience~).

#lifepointless

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

Link

The first part of “The School Shooting” is called “First hour of my last day.”

“I already knew the day would be hell,” the anonymous first-person narrator tells us. The day proceeds like a regular one until an intercom announcement sends the school into lockdown: There’s a shooter in the building. The narrator comforts his sobbing girlfriend, telling her everything will be okay as they hide in their classroom. As the faceless shooter approaches, the narrator attacks him, taking down the shooter and saving lives, but taking a stray bullet in the process:

But as he hit the ground

His gun hit the ground

Im scared the bullet rushes out

Though this story is short — just a scant four pages — it’s representative of what you find when you delve into the hundreds of school shooting stories being written on Wattpad, perhaps the most quietly influential website you’ve never heard of.

On the behemoth self-publishing platform, the most popular stories — typically romance and fanfiction — boast YouTube-level traffic, amassing hundreds of millions of views, or “reads.” Despite a huge audience reach and enjoying the patronage of Handmaid’s Tale author Margaret Atwood, Wattpad habitually flies under the mainstream radar; its most notable achievements to date are launching the One Direction fanfic turned best-seller After and galvanizing the Filipino film industry with a string of movie adaptations of Wattpad stories.

Wattpad’s relative obscurity probably has something to do with its main demographic of teens and preteens. But lately, the kids on Wattpad are contributing, in their own way, to a very mainstream national conversation — by churning out stories about school shootings.

The “hot” category of school shooting fiction on Wattpad is a mixed bag. Scroll past a host of stories related to Columbine and its shooters and you find a Voltron fanfic, a Criminal Minds fanfic, and a fic about a school shooting involving the bands Leathermouth and My Chemical Romance. There are romances built around the drama of a school shooting, as well as more traditional horror stories. And then there are other stories. One claims to be an account of a real school shooting threat; many more present terrifying fictional accounts of what a potential school shooting might be like.

There, on a site usually dedicated to painting innocent fantasies about being Harry Styles’s girlfriend, teens and preteens are living through a culture so dominated by guns that fears of their schools going on lockdown and fantasies of martyring themselves to save their friends have seeped into the stories they tell.

The school shooting stories on Wattpad involve characters of all ages. They’re bright and bubbly sixth-graders on their first day of school. They’re seniors in high school prepping for homecoming, college, or prom.

The incidents nearly always start in one of two ways — with the popping sound of gunshots and screams coming from a hallway, or with intercom announcements putting the school on lockdown or into a Code Red: “This is not a drill.” The students nearly always wind up fending for themselves, either because the teachers are absent or because they are quickly dispatched with bullets. Inevitably, students wind up alone, unarmed and unaided.

These stories meticulously catalog potential hiding places. Bathroom stalls are the most popular by far, but there are also crannies in classrooms, storage closets, people-size lockers, kitchens. Then there are the surreptitious escape routes: second-floor windows and little-used cafeteria exits. Fear of being caught out in the open looms large: In one story, three sixth-graders get trapped in an empty classroom with no way out and no protective cover that’s able to hide all three of them. The story ends there, on an incomplete cliffhanger.

The identities of the shooters rarely matter in school shooting fiction; when the shooters are given attention, they tend to comment on the anxieties of school life and the pressure to perform. In one story, a school shooter’s attempt to explain how hard the pressure of his life has been is so compelling that after he dies, the narrator picks up the gun and continues the shooting spree himself.

In another story, a new girl turns out to be an obvious misfit who can’t make friends and takes her revenge on her classmates. Usually, however, the shooters are faceless, rarely given characterizations or even names — they’re classic horror villains, described as crazy, insane, mental, psychos, maniacs, or simply weirdos. As one story notes, “No one knew who it was. Frankly, no one cared.”

The exception to this rule is that of the Columbine fanfic. This is the most popular variant of school shooting fiction on Wattpad, to the extent that it almost functions as a separate genre. Modern teens continue to be fixated with Columbine, but most of the 800 stories associated with Columbine on Wattpad are more properly a form of what-if fanfiction that attempts to love, redeem, or empathize with the Columbine shooters. That sets Columbine fic well apart from most other Wattpad fiction, which is concerned with processing theoretical shootings that haven’t happened yet.

In most of these other fics, the emphasis is almost always on the victims and the survivors — and the horror scenarios they do and don’t survive. The main characters frequently get shot; their friends and siblings frequently end up dead or seriously injured. In one story, the captain of the cheerleading squad survives a school shooting by playing dead beneath the body of her best friend:

People screamed. I screamed. Bullets flew out of guns. Camila slumped on top of me, knocking me in to the ground. I was lying on the ground, Camila on top of me. There was a hole in her head. Her brains were on the wall behind us.

“Imagine,” reads the summary of one story. “Imagine a shooter coming to your school to kill as many people as he can before he turns the gun to himself. Imagine what horrors, what fear would arise among you. Even more frightful, imagine what it would be like for that person to be you.”

“Of course,” reads one story, told from the perspective of two sixth-grade girls. “This is how we die.”

As stories of teenage angst tend to do, these stories rely on an awareness of the fragility of life. They draw on the heady emotion and melodrama of death, tragedy, and terror. In this sense, as child psychologist Ellen Braaten told me, they’re built on longstanding tropes.

Braaten, the associate director for the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital, described the school shooting genre of fiction as being similar to the way a teen might glamorize going through the experience of having cancer, dying young, or living during war — in essence, “making something romantic out of something really scary and awful.”

“When you’re really feeling afraid, one way to gain control is to tell the ghost story yourself”

Braaten speculated that these stories are “about students putting themselves in a situation they feel like they’re in … working through their inevitable worst fears.”

It’s no secret that teens are drawn to gritty, angsty stories fraught with life-or-death scenarios. Entire genres of young adult fiction cater to this tendency, from 13 Reasons Why to The Fault in Our Stars to Ellen Hopkins’s entire best-selling oeuvre, which covers a range of dire teen issues from drugs to suicide.

It’s not really even new that kids are writing this kind of story themselves; lots of kids with access to a pen and a notebook have scribbled angsty existential missives somewhere inside them. The advent of the internet has just made sharing those feelings with other teens easier than ever. On Wattpad, which gained its massive underground success primarily as a mobile reading and publishing app, teens and preteens publish and view each other’s fiction by the millions. On Wattpad, a search for “cancer” generates more than 100,000 results; one of the most popular cancer stories has nearly 30 million views.

What does seem new, though, is that teens are working through their fears and anxieties about life and death using school shootings as the setting. In essence, teens and preteens who have grown up with the real possibility that they could live through (or die in) a school shooting have incorporated this reality into the kind of cathartic angst fiction usually reserved for more typically deleterious fare — a cancer scare, a plane crash, drug use, or suicidal ideation.

“Art is a place where we displace our worst fears and wishes,” Braaten said. “Anytime you’re putting something like this out there, it’s because you want to be heard. I think this is a wonderful outlet for students and teens to sort of work through one of their worst fears.” And Wattpad, she noted, is a place where “they can do it anonymously and quickly.”

What’s perhaps even more telling than the amount of fiction where the school shooting is the focal point of the story is the amount of fiction where it isn’t. Disturbingly, school shootings often form the mundane backdrop of stories with completely different plots. In many stories, the event of a school going on lockdown is just a boring part of a student’s everyday life. In multiple stories, there ultimately is no shooting, and the threat dissipates into a boring, wasted couple of hours for the students.

In several stories, the lockdown is used as an excuse for a romantic meet-cute. One, a fanfic about YouTubers Jake Paul and Erica Costell, uses a school shooting as the backdrop for a budding romance. Written in the wake of the Parkland shooting, it has Jake noting, “Us cuddling during the Code Red was amazing but sad at the same time.”

In these stories, the need to romanticize tragedy becomes very literal, a way of fantasizing about the heightened emotional connection felt at such moments while simultaneously grappling with the potential for loss of life, for instantaneous separation from their beloved.

Criminal psychologist Arthur Lurigio described the catharsis of this kind of fiction as similar to that of a horror film. “It’s scary but it’s not scary — it’s not real. Where you’re a little bit scared, a little bit excited, but the outcome is not going to hurt you.” Lurigio pointed out that these genres of school shooting fic are all about control for the students. “When you’re really feeling afraid, one way to gain control is to tell the ghost story yourself.”

Controlling the narrative seems to be a main point of these stories. “This writing has a sense of empowerment, of being able to control what’s uncontrollable and baffling,” Lurigio said. “Think about the degree of vulnerability these kids are feeling in general, and it’s being expressed now in a way it’s never been expressed before.”

Lurigio told me the school shooting fiction could be seen as a basic form of therapy for students. “In working with patients, we have them diary, writing about their lives and thoughts and scenarios, and using that as a tool in therapy. This may be a way to process school shootings and give kids a false sense of control. They’re the ones who are the masters of what happens and doesn’t happen.”

We can see that need for control in a very direct sense. One story is a first-person account of the 2012 shooting at Perry Hall High School in Baltimore, by a user purporting to be a student who was then in attendance. (The user did not respond to my requests for verification or comment.) “‘Please let everybody be okay’ was the only thought going through my mind,” she wrote. “I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that something like this could happen at my school; the school that I had always felt so safe in.”

The difference in tone and focus between this student’s mostly matter-of-fact description of living through the event and the highly fantastical, dramatized versions many of the teen writers are imagining is striking. “I thought about every ‘What If’ question possible,” she writes about her reaction after the event. Eventually, she says, “I stopped asking myself these questions,” because she realized there was no point to asking them after the fact.

In a sense, then, the emergent school shooting genre seems to have come about because students are running through all of these potential “what if” scenarios well before they play out in reality. It’s not only about control; it’s also arguably a means of preparedness.

Looking at these stories from this angle, it’s hard not to find them devastating. One story, “School Shooting,” is written by a user with the word “unicorn” in their handle, from the point of view of a sixth-grader; the author told me that they wrote the story following the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, as a way of paying homage to the bravery of the Parkland students.

It’s practically a litany of survival scenarios playing out in high-drama action-adventure form. It shows kids working together as an ensemble to thwart, undermine, and escape the shooter. After their teacher is dispatched, they grab weapons and turn them on their attackers. They run for exits only to find them locked, so they turn to windows instead. On the playground, the narrator spots “a little kid crying”:

She had a bullet shot in her leg.

“Cmon ride on my back.” I said

“I can’t. It hurts.” she said

I decided to carry her. Good thing she was light.

Wattpad skews young. The company claims 90 percent of its users are millennials and Gen Z; a majority are girls and women between the ages of 13 and 24. It’s reasonable to assume that the ages of these characters reflect the ages of their writers. And so we have 11- and 12-year-olds writing about disaster preparedness, noting fire exits, psyching themselves up to leap out of windows, and looking out for kids younger than them — all while envisioning themselves as essentially abandoned by an older generation. Remember, there are hardly ever adults in these stories, not in the moments when it counts.

“It’s as if the statement is: Adult world, you have not taken care of us, you continue to not take care of us,” Lurigio told me. “The kids are the ones who are leading, not adults, and that’s a role change.”

Lurigio explained that it’s important to consider that these stories are expressions of real trauma — not lurid, far-fetched fantasies. “[School shootings] have lasting impact, not only on the victims but on kids who see it on the media over and over again. After 9/11, we had what we described as concentric circles of trauma. They have vicarious victimization. I think seeing this on the news over and over again absolutely is a micro-trauma to the kids who are not part of it.

“So this is akin to 1950s campfire storytelling,” he said. “But this is much more serious, with life-altering consequences.”

One fic, “The Gunman,” chronicles the day of a school shooting by jumping through the points of view of multiple characters. “I would never get married, have kids,” one thinks when encountering the shooter. “I’d never buy my own house, get my own car, or even learn to drive! The husky I dreamed of getting one day would never happen.”

But not all the stories are hopeless. Many of them are about students finding their own power and changing things for the better. Jade, a.k.a. xxjademariexx, is a freshman at a New Jersey high school. Her story, “After the Shooting,” depicts a group of high school students who mount a successful gun control protest in their state after a terrifying attack on their school. “I wrote about this because gun violence is a major thing in this country that no one wants to talk and hear about,” she told me. “It also needs to be talked about more than it is.”

Jade said that few within her community support gun control. “They’re all super conservative and think more guns is the solution for a safer country. I see it in a different light that may have been portrayed by my story.”

For Jade, the important aspect of her story isn’t the school shooting — it’s the aftermath. “There’s always that fear that a shooting will happen,” she said. Writing the story allowed her to express not only that fear but also a political stance she can’t always communicate in real life.

“I want to change everything,” she writes as her story ends. “I want everyone to be safe and not fearful. I want to stop school shootings like Sandy Hook and Stoneman Douglas and all the ones in between and before. I want to stop police from killing people by the color of their skin. I want to stop the suicide rate from going up by guns. I know this country will never be perfect, but I really do want to make America great again. We will be the generation to make America great again.”

Javier Zarracina/Vox

Original Source -> The kids are writing school shooting fiction

via The Conservative Brief

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