#(and on the 9:30 days i dont get home until almost 5)

[soriastrider]

commuting sucks

#dirk strider #homestuck #my art #he is stuck in traffic behind some skeleton critters perchance #lmao #question of the day: should dirk strider be trusted with a vehicle #(i have a 45-50 min commute this semester. ~1h30 daily. 4 days per week) #(so much driving...) #(and my classes start at 8am/9:30am) #(and on the 9:30 days i dont get home until almost 5) #(bluh) #anyway #sorry dirk #once again you get to suffer with me lol #bg image is from hs wiki/hs p5438/[s] act 6 act 4

[weskerssunglasses]

Hey, hope you're feeling good!

I have a request; a jealous Wesker. That's all I ask. :)

BARKING AS WE SPEAK

I hate possessive jealousy irl but in fiction..🤤 Also dont drink and drive kids! This is a little less intense than I wanted it but I just couldn't seem to get there :(

Rating: 18+; n!sfw mention(?) putting it here just to be safe but its up to interpretation

TWs/CWs: gn!reader, possessive behavior, manipulation(?), alcohol, Wesker being Wesker, open ending

Summary: STARS era!Wesker thinks his pretty little S/O is a little too close to Chris

Chris, chris, chris, if they say his name one more time-

"Al, you there?"

There's static over the phone line before your boyfriend's voice comes through. "Sorry, long day. What were you saying?"

"Chris invited me out for drinks later, do you wanna come with? I think Jill and Barry will be there too."

"Sorry, not tonight. I have some reports that need finishing."

A disappointed whine leaves your mouth but you assent regardless. "Alright. Can I come over after though? I wanna see you!"

You can't see him, but you can practically hear the self-gratified smirk on his face. "Sure. See you later." You barely get out a quick goodbye before the call ends.

He must be really busy.

-------

"____, if you throw up in my car i'm actually going to kill you."

"Sorry~" you slurred slightly, leaning your head against the cool window of Chris' car. You weren't wasted, but you definitely were not in any condition to drive. Honestly, neither was Chris, but he probably had it together the best out of all of you. "Thank you for the ride."

"No problem. Jill has Barry to watch her back in a taxi but I'll be damned if i'd let you get in a car with a stranger in your state." You smile and lean over to affectionately bump him with your shoulder.

"I think you worry to much."

"Yeah, yeah. You should see how much I worry over Claire. Where am I taking you anyways?"

You momentarily come back to your senses and quickly dig your phone out of your bag. Given it's midnight already and your boyfriend hadn't heard from you since 5, he's probably worried sick. "Uh... Wesker's...," you mumble distractedly, opening your text messages and ignoring the teasing "Ooo~"s from Chris.

Al: On your way yet? Sent 9:30

Al: Be safe Sent 10:09

Al: Dinner will be in the fridge when you get here. Text me soon. Sent 11:37

You shoot him a quick text that you're on your way back and drop your phone in your lap, letting your head fall against the headrest. "All good?"

"Yeah- sorry. You know how he worries and he hasn't heard from me since like... 5."

That gets a snort out of Chris and he shakes his head. "You'll be up until work tomorrow getting a lecture for this."

The rest of the car ride is relatively silent. Looks like Wesker read your text but didn't respond...

-------

"Think you can make your own way to the door or do you need help?"

You roll your eyes at Chris and push the car door open. "I think my legs are still functional, Redfield. This was fun though, the team should go out more!"

The two of you exchange your goodbyes and you head into Wesker's apartment with only minor stumbling. "Al! I'm home!"

You don't get a response and cover your mouth, cringing. He's probably asleep and here you are yelling! You kick your shoes off in the doorway and check around for him. He's not in the kitchen, not in the bedroom, study is empty...

"___, glad you finally decided to come."

You almost scream from the sudden sound behind you and spin around, relieved to only see your boyfriend. "Jesus, don't scare me! And, sorry, I know it's late. We kind of lost track of time."

"It's alright," Wesker pauses, his eyes scanning you up and down. "Surely you didn't drive home in this condition?"

"Yeah, no. Chris gave me a ride home!" you turn to hustle some food from his fridge and miss the way his eyes darken.

"And Jill and Barry?"

"They caught a cab," you explain through a mouthful of leftover pasta. "Chris didn't want me going places by myself I guess." The lack of response has you looking up, and you just barely catch Wesker's grimace. "Are you okay?"

You can barely register the way that question sets him off before he's right in front of you and has you boxed in against the counter. "Am I okay?" He looks vaguely unhinged for a moment before he closes his eyes and collects himself. When he opens them again he gives you a stern look. "I don't want you hanging around Chris anymore." You open your mouth to protest, but he cuts you off swiftly; "I don't want to hear it. What if one night he's a little too lonely and you're a little too... 'out of commission' and he takes advantage of that?"

"Al, Chris wouldn't-"

"Quiet!" You flinch back at the intensity in his voice, and he calms down in response; he doesn't want to scare you but god, why can't you just fucking listen? "I'm not comfortable with it. That's all should I have to say. I think most people wouldn't be comfortable with their inebriated partner being in a situation like that. Besides...," he pauses again, bring his hand up to cup your cheek and you lean into it affectionately- you're too tired to argue with him anymore. And he's just so pretty when he's mad...

"You always do like making me happy, don't you?" His hand slides down to grip your chin roughly, pulling you closer to him and slotting his thigh between your legs. "Just fucking listen to me and I can give you more than Chris could ever dream of."

#anon ask #resident evil fanfiction #resident evil x reader #resident evil ask blog #resident evil #wesker x reader #albert wesker x reader #albert wesker #this is so mid im so sorry ;-; #the ending is rocky but yknow

[aestheticvoyage2024]

Day 100: Wednesday April 10, 2024 - "This was 33 Months"

The 33rd month was a blur - the pace of play is picking up as fast as his vocabulary. Always on the run, squealing, smiling, rascaling it up. He's asserting his independence this month and lets you know his opinion is showing he's got all of his alotted Actingham bullheadedness that he was destined for. And its entertaining. Watching boss baby govern the Finca, his little universe. We shared most all this month with my parents who got to check in on him and his growth on more time before the heat of summer. And somewhere in this month we all to seem to notice a little change. Suddenly here in the 33rd month, we had more of a little boy, a 3 year old, than we did the little toddling two year old. His school sees it too - ready to move him up. Sharp as can be, easily excited, in love with his life - so long as it involves Beyonce more than it does sunscreen. This month he sure loved getting up in the morning and "going to see grandma" and god bless here that she was there for it, most every day - I loved it almost as much as he did. Then in the evenings when it was time to wrap it up, he just loved sitting in Papas lap and reading Mighty Tug, Magical Yet, My Truck Is Stuck, Lets Build A Highway. And I was so happy they were here and creating these memories and these happy lovely times. So healthy for him and his little brain. So blessed to have such loving parents and a loving home for our boo-boo to find his own in. I assume each month from here for awhile will be a lot like this one - with noticeable sizable shifts as he comes into his body and his voice and his emotions. And I want to be there for it. - every day, with the same alacrity that my Mom greets him first thing the morning. I want to be there for it to enjoy it and see it, as he grows and stretches, and learns, and wires up...Stay present and fertile for the changes. This is the good stuff - like when he wakes you up at 4am because the muffins must be cooled down now, or when you wake up with a monster truck under your hip in bed, or a foot in your butt crack, or even when we have to tag team putting on the pajamas, this is the good stuff. This is what I am here for. Every day.

Now the whining............... I dont know - not there yet. Maybe Month 34 will teach me that hack.

Favorite Food: Papa's Banana Bread Muffins- even willing to sleep on the kitchen floor until they cool down!

Favorite Song: "Do you want to build a snowman"

Favorite Book: Mighty Tug - BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP! a re-obsession with "My Truck Is Stuck"

Favorite Show: Trash Truck on Netflix, Buster the Bus

Favorite Toy(s): Monster Trucks from Easter Bunny

Best Phrase/ Word: "I want to watcha william show"

Favorite Favorite: Reading books with Papa, Mornings with Grandma

Least Favorite: Dry Red Cheeks

Big First:  Gave a really great gift to a friend (Otis), and finished in the top 650 in the women's bracket challenge on ESPN.

Song: Beyonce - Irreplaceable

Quote: “Toddlers will attach themselves to energies that feel comfortable to them. Because energies don't lie.” ― Mitta Xinindlu

This was 32 months This was 31 months This was 30 months This was 29 months This was 28 months This was 27 Months This was 26 months This was 25 months This was 24 Months This was 23 Months This was 22 Months This was 21 Months This was 20 Months This was 19 months This was 18 months This was 17 months This was 16 months This was 15 months This was 14 months This was 13 months This is 12 Months This is 11 months This was 10 months This was 9 months This was 8 months This was 7 months This was 6 months This was 5 months

[flyawaybird444]

✧˖°.Prompt List✧˖°.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

You may choose a number from this list when sending asks according to our weekly schedule! Enjoy!

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

Smut prompts:

1. "Don't make me take you home."

2. "'I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly."

3. "Don't give me that look."

4. "You're more than just a one night stand."

5. "Would you just shut up and kiss me already?"

6. "You want me to give you your book/phone/item back? Make me."

7. "Like what you see?"

8. "Try to stay quiet, understand?"

9. "We're in public, you know."

10. "I didn't know you were so sensitive."

11. "Dont be so rough. there cant be any marks."

12. "God you look so hot right now."

13. "Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop."

14. "No, i'm supposed to be making you feel good."

15. "Make me."

16. "Stop teasing me so much.."

17. "Take off your clothes."

18. "I'm waiting."

19. "First one to make a noise loses."

20. "Mine."

21. "We cant do that here!"

22. "Behave."

23. "What did you just say?

24. You want to have sex in the elevator? Challenge accepted!"

25. "Why did you wear underwear, when you know I'm going to tear it off anyway?"

26. "Isn't the thrill of getting caught half of the fun?"

27. "Since l've been good, it's time you let me have a taste of you."

28. "You want to put what, where?!"

29. "Show me how you play with yourself.”

30. "Using your teeth, is the only way I'm granting you access tonight."

31. "I missed you so much."

32. "I've been thinking about you all day."

33. "You're so perfect. And l'm so fucking lucky.

34. "Don't smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy."

35. "I like it when you say my name like that."

36. "I heard shower sex is dangerous, but right now, l'm willing to take the risk."

37. "I really don't care. You still look hot and l'm trying not to kiss you senseless

38. "Shut up.

39. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad.

40. "We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

41. "C'mere, you can sit on my lap until i'm done working.

42. "What? Does that feel good?"

43. "I'm not jealous! its just...you're mine!"

44. "If we get caught i'm blaming you."

45. "We have the whole place to ourselves, we don’t even have to be quiet this time."

46. "Tell me again."

47. "You have no idea how much i want you."

48. "Say it."

49. "If you don't like my teasing, then why are you moaning?"

50. "Wow, i didn't realize you were that...flexible."

51. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.

52. "I think thats the first time i've heard you moan...it was like a fucking melody."

53. "I really want to kiss you right now."

"Then do it."

54. "You're not taking me to bed. ever."

"Who said it had to be on the bed?"

55. "She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she's latex and whips."

56. "Ah, he's playing hard-to-get. thats cute."

♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚ ♔ ♚

Angst prompts:

1. "You can't tell that I am in love with you because you were too busy loving someone else to notice me."

2. "I'm sorry, but l'm done waiting."

3. "They warned me about you, I should have listened."

4. "All I want is for you to look at me the way you look at them."

5. "It was a blatant lie when you said that you love me, but I don't care."

6. "Have you ever loved me? You know what, don't say anything, we all know the answer."

7. "It's time to stop lying to ourselves."

8. "Loving you was a torture and I enjoyed it all too much."

9. "If only you could give me half the love you have for yourself."

10. "Can I convince you to stay?"

11. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm over you."

12. "You were no good for me and I was too naive to see that."

13. "You did a wonderful job convincing people that you love me, I almost fell for it.

14. "I've finally come to accept the fact that you will never think l'm good enough for you."

15. "I don't owe you an explanation.

16. "We have to be quiet."

17. "You're trembling."

18. "I want an answer, goddammit!"

19. "It was you the whole time!

20. "Tell me again."

21. "This is why we can't have nice things."

22. "I'm not going anywhere."

23. "You don't see me."

24. "I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you."

25. "You could have died."

26. "Prove it.

27. "I might never get another chance to say this."

28. "Do you regret it?"

29. "Tell me I'm wrong."

30. "Lie to me then."

31. "You've thought about this, haven't you?"

32. "We need to talk about what happened last night."

33. "I never stood a chance, did I?"

34. "I feel like I can't breathe."

35. "I'm only here to establish an alibi."

36. "Are you drunk?"

37. "I still remember the way you taste."

38. "How much of that did you hear?"

39. "What happens if I do this?"

40. "Why are you whispering?"

41. "You make me want things I can't have.

42. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

43. "I'm done trying to help you!"

44. "Sorry doesn't fix everything."

45. "You didn't call. You didn't text. Nothing."

46. "It isn't up for debate."

47. "I don't know what's wrong, okay? I'm just really tired."

50. "I'm fine. Stop asking."

51. "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, and don't try lying to me."

52. "I hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine."

53. "Pack your shit and go. Get the fuck out of my sight!"

54. "Is this how little you think of me?"

55. "I can't do this anymore.. not with you."

56. "You said you'd always be there for me... so how did this happened? Why weren't you there?"

57. "Did it ever occur to you that you're hurting me too?"

58. "I don't need help! I just want the pain to stop

[povofmymind]

07 Oct 2023

it was a Saturday, it was her birthday and i didnt greet her by text but instead i go to her house while she was working. i was planning to go early that day but i think i was early, i went to her house around 9:30 ish? i called her dad for like 5 times to make sure the time was clear to go there to deliver her gifts and written greets. i was feeling guilty at that time because i usually greet her by text but this year i've done something different since last year i have made a powerpoint PDF for her so yea, as i was saying, it was a sunny day as well, i was lowkey panicking and nervous, as i was about to leave the school, her dad answer and i have to ask if shes home, and yes shes not home, shes at work, so i drove as fast as i could to deliver her gifts. and when i get there i run to her apartment and hand everything to her dad, i stayed like 2 mins chat with her dad and sister and give a kiss to our niece and i drove back to the office. and i feel relief here and still feel bad because i can feel her still expecting from me, because i know her so well. i waited until 12pm because she had an half day of work, i waited and waited until 3pm ish, and i receive her "thank you" text, ioh i love that text, i starred it and yes i read it almost everyday and yes i smiled, i laughed and yes i played it all in my head all the time wishing i can just pause that and be in that moment again. i love her reaction and i wish i can see that reaction live so that i can save them in my core memory but just that text i am grateful already. so yea, i was happy for 2 weeks, i am still happy. im still planning to bring her dinner, i have it all planned in my head which i cant wait. you know i always imagine that for some point, me or her will confess something to each other and we wont know what to do next. i hope when it happen, we will let it happen and give it a go. i dont really know how to move on from this girl. i keep on praying to God that please remove the feelings i have for her but no, it keep getting stronger and stronger everyday, i think about her everyday, like i really wanna talk or text her everyday, wanna know hows her day, talk to her about everything, call her, or face time her. but, i feel like she dont want that, i feel like im the only one with this feelings. so yea, i dont know. we will see what will happen, will keep you guys updated. bye.

#feelings #birthday #my girl

[bluejaem]

「 ❍ 」 — 𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄

get to know you

1. WHAT DAY IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

december 20

2. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?

blue (+black, white, teal)

3. WHAT’S YOUR LUCKY NUMBER?

3 and 7 lmao

4. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

none that i know of 😃

5. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

166-167 cm idk?

6. HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES DO YOU OWN?

not more than 10 for sure ‘cause i share all of ‘em with my mom sksks

7. FAVORITE SONG?

currently; back 2 u (am 01:27) by nct 127

8. FAVORITE MOVIE?

kuch kuch hota hai lmaosjdhskjf how could i say no to frenemies to lovers!au 

9. WHO WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL PARTNER?

someone genuine, funny (im sorry but a person’s humor is the first thing i notice 😭), cute, but hot at the same time, cares for everyone around them, kind and honest, mf sexy, whose name starts with na and ends with jaemin <3

10. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN?

i’ve already adopted all my biases so idk what you're talking about ?? 

11. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN IN TROUBLE WITH THE LAW?

i was almost taken to the principal’s office for throwing chalk at someone as an act of self-defense <3 (in my defense, tHEY STARTED IT ALR SO THEY SHOULD’VE SEEN IT COMING AS WELL)

12. BATHS OR SHOWERS?

doesn’t really matter tbh?

13. WHAT COLOR SOCKS ARE YOU WEARING?

i almost never wear socks at home lmao

14. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?

kpop, pop, r&b, edm

15. HOW MANY PILLOWS DO YOU SLEEP WITH?

2 ig

15. WHAT POSITION DO YOU USUALLY SLEEP IN?

first half: towards my left

second half: towards my right (this is when i know my alarm is going to ring soon skdjsifjsi)

16. WHAT YOU DONT LIKE WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING?

that i need to wake up soon

17. WHAT DO YOU TYPICALLY HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?

i always skip breakfast ‘cause i’m either doing my classes or it’s the weekend and i woke up at 12 am 🤡

18. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED ARCHERY?

are those plastic toy-archery sets counted lmao?

19. FAVORITE FRUIT?

watermelon, litchi 

20. FAVORITE SWEAR WORD?

fuck, shit, bitch, hoe 

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY SCARS?

i have one on my forehead (i slipped and hit my head on the stairs when i was like 5 and got 4 stitches yuh) and one on my knee (if you haven’t fallen off your bicycle at least once in your life then you ain’t human)

22. ARE YOU A GOOD LIAR?

lmao how would i know that 

23. WHAT IS YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE?

enfp-t

24. LEFT OR RIGHT HANDED?

right

25. FAVORITE FOOD?

biryani.

26. FAVORITE FOREIGN FOOD?

korean, chinese, mexican, italian aNYTHING IS FINE AS LONG AS IT’S EDIBLE 

27. ARE YOU A CLEAN OR MESSY PERSON?

i’m messy but in clean way <3

28. MOST USED PHRASES?

like, uhm, uh 🤡 and in hindi asking a question with “na” in the end lmfaooo

29. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU TO GET READY?

depends on what’s the occassion. if we’re going out and i still haven’t taken a bath then probably 2 hours. if it’s a school day: 30 mins. and if it’s a last minute plan then 15 mins max (I AM SPEED.)

30. DO YOU TALK TO YOURSELF?

ofc lmao

31. DO YOU SING TO YOURSELF?

yuh

32. ARE YOU A GOOD SINGER?

everything’s fine until i record myself singing. shit goes down after that.

33. BIGGEST FEAR?

failure

34. GOSSIP?

i love to hear gossip like yES SPILL THE TEA BESTIE IM ALL EARS

35. DO YOU LIKE LONG OR SHORT HAIR?

i prefer long hair but they’re just so difficult to maintain smh

36. FAVORITE SCHOOL SUBJECT?

if i had to choose, then literature

37. EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT?

wow, way to make an ambivert feel included </3 

38. WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS?

talking to people, people are scary <//3

39. WHO WAS YOUR FIRST REAL CRUSH?

jeon mf jungkook lmaoo (the fact that i’ve never had a crush on someone ik irl)

40. HOW MANY PIERCINGS DO YOU HAVE?

2

41. HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?

pfft, bold of you to assume i’d ever get up from my seat 

42. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HAIR?

dark drown/borderline black

43. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR EYES?

dark brown-ish?

44. WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?

a lot of things. trust me you don’t want me to get started 

45. DO YOU LIKE YOUR OWN NAME?

it’s a pretty common name here so when someone calls another aditi i’d think they’re calling me and respond but i eND UP EMBARRASSING MYSELF.

46. DO YOU WANT A SON OR A DAUGHTER?

idk bro lmao but maybe like a son and a daughter? 💀

47. WHAT ARE YOU STRENGTHS?

i can sleep for 15 hours straight if not disturbed, i can read and write fast idk? somehow always ending up procrastinating

48. WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?

a lot of shit <3

49. COLOR OF YOUR BEDSPREAD?

deep blue

50. COLOR OF YOUR ROOM?

the wall behind the bed is purple with those weird crumbled paper designs and the rest of the 3 walls are white

tagged by: @peachjaem00​ tysm lou <3

tagging: @woniecstasy @igyus @shotarology @softminn @sicluvz @daegalfangirl @jongseongie [no pressure!]

#tag games #≡;- ꒰ °tag games ꒱ #—! peachjaem00 #lou ღ

[snickiebear]

yo nadia <3333 i'm bored in my online classes and u reblogged the questions thingy at the right time lmao, so get ready: 1, 4, 5, 9, 10, 17, 23, 24, 28, 30!!!, 34, 38, 39, 40 (the intimacy of being understood) (imma stop here lol) (also i'm sorry u're not feeling well, ily and hope u'll feel better soon!! <33333)

ELE ILY. (and thank you, i’m stayin home today cause,,, yeah. i appreciate you sm.) you’re the literal best, i adore you. 

1. How long ago did you start reading fanfiction? Writing fanfiction?

The first fanfiction i read was for The Lunar Chronicles when I was like 11?? and it was 100% on accident and it scarred me because it was a hardcore porn one with a period kink and i was like WHAT IS THIS??? OH MY GOD???? LMAOOOOO i didn’t pick it back up until i was 13-14 and really got into the Fairy Tail fandom. I still reread my favorites on ff.net cause i love them. 

As for writing, I wrote a horrible, terrible x-men fanfiction when I was twelve. (my friend still brings it up and REFUSES to delete it so it still gets comments and views, that shit HAUNTS ME ELE.) then tried again for Fairy Tail, posted like two chapters before taking it down cause i wasn’t really feeling it. And then I posted The Intimacy Of Being Understood and here we are. 

4. Link your three favorite fics right now.

OMGG okok 

@murd3rm1ttens ‘s The Problem How Time Works IF YOU HAVENT READ THIS YOU GUYS NEED TO HOP ON IT ASAP. MITTEN’S WRITING SO SO SO SO GOOD. SAKURA AND INO ARE TOTAL BADASSES. KAKASHI IS A SIMPPPP. ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. 

@mouseymightymarvellous ‘s We Were Screaming In Color (Only A Possibility) yes, yes I KNOW. i always point into mousey’s direction but i WILL always advocate that everyone reads her fics, they’re literally so beautiful???? i just happen to be rereading WWSIN rn 

@safelycapricious ‘s Shaking Up And Breaking Down series. I found this like?? idfk but i’ve been raving about it ever since. ALSO CHECK OUT THEIR FICS IN GENERAL. 

fuck i have more than three but also check out @ambivalens999 ‘s Masks

i do wanna make a fic rec thing where i just rav about my favs,,, might do that later or sum

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something?

Omniscient third person. I don’t like it. Like I can understand that it can be a little hard to stay in one person’s perspective but, in my opinion, if you can, it shows how disciplined you are as a writer. Plus, i just get so confused when I go from A’s thoughts to suddenly what B is thinking about A. 

When writers use ‘ ‘ instead of “ “. When writers put thoughts in ‘ ‘ instead of just italicizing them. It’s small things but like they just bother me sO MUCH. most of the time i can ignore it and try to enjoy but other times i just dip. 

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@espoir-et-reves !!!!! THEIR SHISAKU FICS ARE SO SO SO SO SO GOOD. And they have a warring states one going on THAT I AM SO OBSESSED WITH. 

@writer168 idk if they’re really “underrated” but THEY HAVE SUCH GREAT FICS ON AO3. Like theres an AU with sakura, kiba, and shino that i reread constantly because it just. is. so. fucking. GOOD. and they posted a new one that i’m YELLING about. 

@eggtoasties okay they only have 2 in the naruto fandom (one shisaku which is still ongoing) BUT THEIR WRITING STYLE IS SO NICE?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I still go back and reread their shikasaku one cause UGH i can’t get enough. I love it. 

10. What’s your favorite fandom, pairing, or character to read fic for?

Fandoms: Naruto, Soul Eater, The Old Guard, ATLA

Parings: KakaSaku/ShikaSaku/ShiSaku/MultiSaku, SoMa, Joe X Nicky, Zukka

Character: SAKURA. I will read anything with Sakura as the main character and her being a fuckin badass or becoming a badass. I love her.

17. How obsessively do you sit and stare at your fic after you’ve just posted and wait for feedback?

aha.. haha.. well. I check my email like three times an hour. its the first thing i check in the mornings too. I’m literally a whore for praise and literally eat up feedback like its going out of style. I also reread a lot of my stuff because i make so many mistakes and spelling errors, or the spacing is weird oR SOMETHING. plus, literally any and all comments make my day, i go back and reread them cause they just make me feel so tingly and warm like “wow. this person enjoyed the fic/my writing enough to tell me. thats HUGE!”

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

Angry, feral, bloodied, morally gray women. They aren’t bad guys, they’re probably the good guy, but that doesn’t mean they cant be fucking raging at the world with raw knuckles and blood on their teeth. I just love an angry woman who struggles with her emotions and just has so much inner conflict but that doesn’t take away from her character or badassery, it adds to it. 

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

The fake dating or miscommunication troupe. LIKE GUYS JUST TALK. AND TELL EACH OTHER OMFG. the entire like obliviousness of “nah they dont like me” while the They holds their hand and kisses their cheek. MOFO WHAT. it makes me so impatient and like mad HAAHHAHA. its probably because i’m a pretty confrontational person so seeing stuff like that just “cmon bro, USE YO HEAD.”

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

I have yet to receive a negative comment! Which i was really surprised about tbh. As for deadlines or pressure to update, i just kind of do whatever. I do set goals, but i set them flexible enough that hey, if i can’t do it, that’s okay. 

I have a lot of mini goals, like “i want to write this chapter and get it done this week” and then the large goal is “FINISH BY END OF MAY” so i have time. 

Actually, now that I think on it, the entire pressure to update thing is probably why i’m waiting until I have all of OL&W written to post it weekly,, cause well. I wouldn’t wanna leave you guys waiting as I tried to write and work out the next chapters and stuff, you know?

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

AAAAAA YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE AHAHAHAH

Have you seen the way the dead dance, World Breaker? They roar, half mad and starving. Do you not wish, do you not hope to see them twist and bend and dance to your will?

Shikamaru snarls, looking behind his shoulders to where his Shadows lay. “Patience.” He spits. “Is of the essence, Things of Ancient. Know your place as the dark you are.”

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

None of my experiences match up to anything I write tbh,,, probably the only thing that is me in my writing is maybe the emotional turmoil? I’m pretty emotionally and mentally mature because from a pretty young age i started forming my own opinions, started looking into the world around us and being like “dude what the fuck this is not what disney advertised”. Then i started talking (read: arguing and debating) with my dad about a lot of it. So, like emotions are kind of hard for me. Like i’m pretty good at controlling them or understanding them, but still. idk its hard to explain ig.

Like the weight of stress, the anger, the sadness. It’s kind of therapeutic to write. Cause i don’t know how to put those feelings to verbal words so writing them really helps. 

As for my readers’ image? Probably like some kind of hunched over figure typing away in the dark with a maniacal grin on their face. I honestly don’t know AHHAHAHA but it is fun to think about. I think they’d see me as someone with potential but a lot of room to grow and someone who is imperfect but in a charming way LMAOOOO

38. What does your writing process look like? How chaotic is it on a scale of 1 (very tame) to 10 (you can’t handle this kind of chaos)?

I’m gonna be real honest. Its probably like a 2. I’m a bit of a control freak so I almost always go in chronological order, my writing is pretty linear. Unless, i get bored and jump to one of my fav parts. It's pretty much i sit down, i open the doc, read over my notes and just start writing. 

It’s a little boring to explain AHAHAHA but once i get into the groove of things its really fucking great, I can like feel myself in the world, I can feel what i want the characters to, i love it. I catch myself mouthing the words as i type too, which i find hilarious.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

I rather like how raw my writing is sometimes. Which might sound really vain, but i do like the way i word things or describe things. I love juxtaposition and repetition, or making a good ole circle back to some minute detail that wouldn’t stand out until i repeat it at the end and you’re like “omg” AHAHAHAHA.

Like those little poetic snippets or certain wording i just sit back and go “damn thats kinda good nadia! go you!’ HAHAHA  

40. How did you come up with the idea for The Intimacy Of Being Understood?

AAAAA this fic is like my first child, my pride and joy LMAO

so the idea initially came when i was reading some fic, idk if it was even naruto, but i was like “i don't like this, but i do like the rain symbolism.” And I knew i wanted to write something kind of slow paced, something a little sad and angsty, but would show KakaSaku slowly but surely falling in love.

Idk if you’ve noticed but a lot of my fics, the pairings don’t change each other dramatically. They accept each other as they are and then they grow with together. Like that acceptance is something i just love writing, its so subtle, it isn’t something you declare. Its simply “I am going to love you. I am going to love you despite your flaws and faults. I am going to love you unconditionally because I know you, I understand you, and there is nothing you could do to drive me away.” 

The fic kind of wrote itself after that first scene. I kept going back to the rain, go being ghosts, and resurrection, and the small epiphanies one gets. I wanted to focus on each character’s growth with each other. They didn’t find light in life because of each other, but with each other. And i think that’s my favorite thing about that fic. 

I wanted something raw and real and just something beautiful. I’m actually really proud of it tbh. Would i go back and rewrite/edit it? Oh of course! I’d do that with every single one of my fics, but i’m not gonna cause i think its in its rawest form right now. :))))

ask me shit plz

#silly things from silly friends

[abrakophile]

I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?

OPs Name JUNE 02 03

I LOVE YOU

THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH

*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*

ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.

ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.

(Flip Page)

THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa

I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.

ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.

HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.

THEYRE BAD.

I LIVE YOU OP

*hearts and x’s* DADDY

---

(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)

I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.

WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.

ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.

AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.

ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.

MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.

I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.

OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.

ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.

IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.

SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.

IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD

WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE. 

I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.

HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.

ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.

I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.

SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW

I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.

HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.

I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.

IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.

I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,

*hearts and xs*

TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.

WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!

GIVE ME A MINUTE...

FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING  (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.

ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.

I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.

THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K

I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP. 

YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS

*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*

HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.

I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME

IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.

SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF

*the rest of the page is blank*

IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.

A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.

THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.

LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.

RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.

RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)

ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.

YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.

I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.

I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO

EVER YOURS

EVER MINE

*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*

#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them? #letters from the guy that was my dad #pt 1 #long post

[pbandjesse]

Its my last day of my 20s!! It only feels a little weird. But I was weepy today. I dont think it was related. I think I was just. Having a hard day. Emotional. But it was still mostly good. 

I slept alright. Getting up was hard but James came in at 830 and said he was going to bike to the store and would be back around 9. So it gave me a little time frame to wake myself up and get dressed. 

So I did that. But I was down. Just felt sad. I got washed and dressed. I was happy with my hair. I love my new sweater. It was the first time Ive worn  it and its really great. Very soft. But I was still sad. 

I have some aches and pains. I need to make an appointment to see the dentist soon. And I have a weird wound in the back of my knee. I tried to feel alright but it was hard. 

James got back and made me a bagel. I played a little animal crossing. And he worked at his desk. SweetP really likes the desk. It lets him be tall. 

Eventually though James asked if I was ready to go out and I wasnt feeling great. But I wanted to feel better. So off we went. 

First we went down to the harbor. We were squish hunting and I wanted to hit up 4 places. CVS, Marshal's, Five Below, and Target. Because they were each in a set of two spots. So we wouldnt have to keep moving the car and parking. 

CVS was a bust. They didnt have any of their easter stuff out and they didnt have any valentines ones left. We walked the aisles just in case one was misplaced but no dice. So across the street we went to Marshal's. 

Better luck there! They had a bunch of the goofy ones with the hair. An owl. Some unicorns. But I ended up getting a cuddler. I really would like the dragon one but this pegasis spoke to me. Its a very good hug. And it was on clearance. The cashier liked him too. Mostly because he was purple but I think they look like Guy Feiari. 

We went to the car and headed out to the next places. A car almost hit us when we were leaving but James kept us safe. We were just a little shaken up. 

We went to Five Below next. At first I was like. Aw man no luck. They just had a little unicorn. But I did get a mini brand surprise pack. James was trying really hard to cheer me up but I know I was radiating sadness. 

We checked out and as we were leaving James noticed that we didnt see that they had all the new easter squishes by the door! 

I was super excited. The cashier said that they just put them out but people had been calling for a week. I didnt want all of them. I got 5. I was super excited about the cow and the octopus but the goat and pig were really cute in person. James liked the carrot a lot but I want to make the bottom more pointy so they will need work. 

We still went to look at target. This target had a lot more then the one yesterday. I ended up getting a very large dragon. I almost went for the bunny loaf but I am excited about my dragon. 

We picked up some tissues and floss too. Because we are adults. Adults who were hunting for stuffed animals. And then we headed home. 

My mood was up for a little there but it dropped back down again. I was sad. It sucked. 

We went home and James would make up an at home picnic. It was to wet outside to try to do a proper one. But he made the food look all nice. He even made deviled eggs and green salad. It was a really nice meal. And we talked about my sads and he tried to understand what he could do to help. But I was just. Going through it. 

I did get another gift today. He got a surprise box of beanie babies from an antique store in Hampden. And they were almost all beanie baby birthday bears. So later in the day I would hang up a shelf for them in the studio. I think they are very cute. It was funny though because there was no february but thats okay. I like the clown ones a lot. I think they are all very cute. 

I had work to do though. After lunch I worked on the Capybara for Gaby. I finished him up fast enough that James was able to take him to Gaby when he went to take a bike ride. And that was nice. And it gave me a little time to be alone and chill with my own feelings. 

I worked on my last drawing for the 30 day project. And then I went to play animal crossing. I made a rose garden and a carnival area. I want to work on the carnival more but it was still fun. 

James got back and we talked about pancake dinner. He went to go bake in the kitchen and eventually the sun was looking really golden in the living room so I wanted to take pictures but we were having trouble with the camera and so we missed the golden light. But we still got a couple pictures. 

But then I was just. So sad. I got overheated and I just needed to go lay down.  went and laid in the studio and watched videos for a while. Eventually James came and laid with me. Until around 6 when he went to go make up pancakes for dinner. 

We had a nice dinner. And then it was time for him to go play a game with his friends. I stayed and talked for a bit. Showed off my new squishes. And my new piercing. I actually rattled my piercing a little today and the top one hurts a little. But I can tell how well its healing so Im not to worried. 

I have been hanging out for the last hour. I made outfits for the week. Played around with my renfaire costume, coming up with more accessories to make it more believable. Its been nice. 

And now I am just tired. I am ready to take a shower and get some rest. 

Its  my birthday tomorrow! I hope its just. A good day. James had to work. But I hope to like. Read. Maybe take a drive. Just have a nice day. I hope you all have a good day too. 

Goodnight everyone. Take care of yourselves!!  

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 9)

Bakugo x Reader 

Have you seen this man

**** Warning**** This chapter has a bit more graphic violence than the others. 

Words : 2810

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

You actually got pulled to duty today, so naturally you just had to be feeling under the weather. Any other day of the week you could sit at your desk or hell just lay on one of the many couches in the break room, but nope. Not today. Today you need to go assist in a bank robbery. It was a simple call. They just needed you to pop in and get the hostages out. Piece of cake. From what you understood there was only four hostages and only two villains. Walk in the park.

But because you were already having a bad day it would only make sense if it got worse from there. So you arrive on scene and guess who’s already there? Bakugo. And guess who is yelling like the mad man he is that you don't need to go in there? Again Bakugo. 

“Nope. No. I don’t think so! This feels all too familiar. Nope. Cant do it. Go home. I think I can hear Zuko crying from here. You should probably go check on him. I can take care of this...” He probably didn't even know he was doing a full on Deku rant but you weren’t about to point that out to him right now. 

“Ground Zero... I appreciate your concern but I was called here specifically. I assume because they knew you’d blow up the building. I’ll have them out in five minutes. Now you can either help me or pout. That part is totally up to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, probably not appreciating be called Ground Zero. But you were in pubic and trying to be professional. “Okay Adsum..” He threw a little extra sarcasm on your name. “What do you want me to do?” 

You gave him a victorious smile, “I’m glad you asked. I can do this a lot faster if the villains are distracted. So do what you do best. Yell at them, blow things up, get their attention. And once I’ve got them all out you can go Lord Explosion Murder all over the place... Sound good?” 

He ground his teeth, “Yeah whatever just hurry...” 

Before the accident Bakugo wouldn't have bated an eyelash at you doing something like this. Now it was like pulling teeth. 

You ended up pulling everything off flawlessly. Only minor damages but that’s only to be expected when Bakugo’s involved. 

You endured the strobes of flashing cameras as the press yelled praise and questions. But neither you nor Bakugo paid them any attention. In fact you wanted to get as far away as possible. You started to feel light headed and you thought you were going to vomit any second now. Once you were far enough away you bolted towards a trash can and emptied your breakfast. 

Bakugo was at you in an instant holding your hair and rubbing your back, “Oi... you okay? You pushing yourself too hard again? I don’t care how small she is, I’ll fucking fight Dylan.” 

You pulled a tissue out of your pocket and wiped your mouth. “I dont think it’s Dylan. I think I’m just sick. I wasn't feeling too hot before I even came in today. But now that I think of it, We did have a harder day yesterday than we usually do. She had me pushing myself to see how many times I could teleport in under a minute.” You gave him a proud smile, “I got all the way up to 30. Thats once every two seconds.” 

He brushed a few hairs out of your face, “As proud as I am of you, you need to take better care of yourself. I know you say she knows your limits and everything but I still dont think there’s a chance in hell she knows your limits better than you do.” You went to protest but he gave you a pointed look, “Can you please take the rest of the day off? Just go home and get some rest. You clearly need it. ” 

“Ugh, fine... but only if you bring home some ice cream later...”

He laughed, “You and your damn ice cream. Yes I will bring you ice cream. Cookies and cream or chocolate chip cookie dough?” 

You gave him puppy dog eyes, “Both?” 

He smirked, “How could I say no to that. Alright you got yourself a deal. Now get out of here before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you home myself.” 

You wagged your eyebrows, “Oh yeah?” 

He thumped you between the eyes, “Oi! We are at work women! Contain yourself.... you also just threw up...soooo I will give you a professional hand shake goodbye.” 

He held his hand out and you just rolled you eyes. You held your hand out as well but before it met his you popped behind him and smacked his ass. “Report me to HR... I dare you.” And then you popped away in the direction of your apartment before he could scold you. You ended up ditching the costume and packing it away in your backpack. You called a cab because you really were not feeling well. 

You didn't know if the cab driver was staring at you periodically because he recognized you or if he thought you might throw up in his cab. Either way he didn't make any attempts at conversation which you were thankful for. 

You quickly took a half ass shower and brushed your teeth before going straight to bed. You passed out a soon as your head hit the pillow. 

You woke up hours later to the loud ringing of your cell phone. You checked the time before you answered. It’s a little past midnight, Katsuki should have been home by now. 

The caller ID said Kiri and your heart sank. With shaky hands you clicked answer, “He..” You cleared your throat, “Hey Kiri? What’s with the late night phone call? You wouldn't happen to know where Bakugo is would you?”

“That’s actually why I’m calling! I’m on my way to get you. I’ll explain everything when I get there. Just get dressed and get ready to go. Zuko too! Dont answer the door for anyone who isn't me!” 

He hung up before you could ask what was going on. Truly panicking now you jumped out of bed and started digging around for clothes. You were pulling on your shoes while simultaneously trying to locate Zuko’s leash when a loud bang came from the other side of the door. 

“Hey Bitch! Open up the damn door! We know you’re in there! Dont make me break this shit down!” 

Zuko started growling as you looked through the peephole. You gasped, it was the cab driver from earlier. He did recognize you. And he brought a friend. 

“Your little boyfriend aint here to protect you now is he! Not like he was the night he killed my brother! My brothers dead because of you!” 

You had no idea what the mad man was talking about but it was enough to send chills down your spine. You didn't want to risk having to fight them one on one. You still felt too sick for that. You knew Kiri was on the way so you could wait util he got there... *CRACK*

They had started kicking at the door now. “Shit...” 

“We’re going to make you pay for what you did you little bitch!” 

*CRACK*

“Then when we’re done, we’ll take out that that little shit stain Ground Zero!” 

*CRACK*

“Then we’ll track down every girl you saved that night!”

*CRACK*

You ran to the kitchen and took one of Bakugo’s really expensive knives. Surely he’d forgive you for fucking it up. You returned to the door that was only about one hard push from coming off the hinges. You focused really hard as you squeezed the knife in your hand. Then there was a slight pop and the knife was gone. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You looked through the peephole again but this time the cab drivers buddy had a knife... Bakugo’s knife, the one you were just holding, lodged in his chest. You did it.... You had teleported the knife through the door.

Before you had a chance to back away from the door, the cab driver threw his shoulder into it, effectively taking it off its hinges and throwing you to the ground. “Fuck!” You tried to scramble to your feet but he caught your ankle. 

You kicked him in the face twice before he let go. You had barley gotten to your feet when Zuko lunged for him. Bakugo spent a lot of time training him... so it didn't surprise you when he went straight for the throat. But watching as your dogs teeth sank into another man’s throat... it was hard to watch. 

The man cried out in alarm but Zuko just dug deeper and growled. You eyes went wide, “Zuko! No! Get back here!” 

Zuko let go and ran back to you. The man’s blood was pooling around him now as his eyes began to droop close. 

You sat down in shock staring at the scene before you. Two dead men. Blood. so much blood. Your breathing was starting to get shallow.

“Holy shit! What happened to don’t open the door for anyone but me?! Y/N! Are you okay?” 

Your eyes slowly met Kirishima's, “Where’s Bakugo?” 

He grabbed your hand and started pulling you out of the apartment and down the hallway. “I’ll tell you in the car... Come on Zuko!” 

You sped off with Kirishima checking his rearview mirror periodically. He didn't ease up until he was almost to the agency you worked at. “Okay so here's the deal. So as you just discovered some quirkless cabdriver found out where you and Bakugo live. He sent a threat along with some pictures of you walking into the building to Bakugo.” 

You gasped but Kirishima wasn't done, “Yeah but what's worse is he also sent it to the league of villains. Told them you were the one who messed up their human trafficking deal and Bakugo was the one who blew up some of their best men. You both have pretty big targets on your back right now. And Bakugo being Bakugo... he....” 

Your hands gripped the leather armrest, “Kiri don’t tell me he went off on his own... KIRISHIMA WHERE IS HE?!” 

He gave you a sad look, “We don’t know. He called me and told me to get you out of the apartment and then hung up... That was an hour ago.” 

Your eyes welled with tears. He’s so stupid. always yelling at you for not waiting for back up and now he thinks he can just show up alone to fight the League of villains of all people! 

“Where are you taking me?”

“Technically I’m supposed to bring you to the agency while we wait this out... but...” 

You leaned forward, “But what?”

“But we’re going to meet up with Deku, Todoroki, and Denki and where going to go get him.” 

“I thought you said you didn't know where he was?”

He gave you a shit eating grin, “I dont. But we happen to know where all the League of Villain hideouts are. All we need now is for you to teleport to each one. Find him and report back. They’re all within a few miles of each other. I know it’s kind of pushing it but Bakugo told me you once teleported 15 miles.” 

You nodded, “By accident sure, but my range has gone up! Its almost to three miles now... He’ll kill you for this you know? He won't want me involved in this at all.”

He rubbed his neck, “Well that's a risk I’m willing to take to get his dumb ass home.” 

Half an hour later you along with the others were huddled around a map with all possible locations circled. Todoroki pointed to a spot almost exactly in the middle if the others, “That’s where we are right now. This spot is about 5 to 10 miles from all possible locations. Y/n. We need you to teleport to each of them until you find them. When you do, do not engage. Teleport back to us. You’ll take me first, then Midoriya, them Kaminari, and lastly Kirishima. Do you understand?”

You nodded, “I’m going to be honest.. I don’t know how efficient Ill be. I’ve only been working on this kind of thing for a month or so. I’ll likely have to teleport two or three times to get to each location. Do you have pictures?” 

He shook his head, “No I apologize we do not. Are you sure you’re up to it?”

You cracked your knuckles, “Which one first?” 

You popped in and out. Running into trees, and ponds, and whatever else was in your way. You had to stop to throw up nice or twice, but you never did it in front of the other heros. They didn't need to see you were sick. You were on to the fourth location when you made a mental note to thank Dylan profusely when this is all over. Without her intense training you don’t know if you could have done any of this.

This stretch only took you two teleports to get there. You were breathing heavy with a sweat soaked shirt when you heard it, the familiar sound of an explosion. “Katsuki?” You were hiding in a couple of trees that surrounded a barn. You teleported to the top of the closest tree and look down. Sure enough there he was. You were itching to go to him. To drag him out by his ear. But you had a job to do. You took one last look at his blonde head. Hoping he would still be here when you got back. 

In one long stretch that made your muscles scream in protest you teleported back to your friends, “I found him now lets go. We need to hurry!” 

Shouto stepped up and you spat a quick, “Hold your breath.” And you were off. You dropped him by the same tree you had just stood under and pointed in Bakugo’s direction, “Hes that way. Just listen for the yelling and the explosions.” 

Without waiting for a response you went back to get Midoriya. When you dropped him off you started to feel dizzy. Not good. You leaned on a tree and gripped your head. Through gritted teach you made it back for Kaminari.

When you came for Kiri you couldn’t help it. You threw up. 

“Shit Y’n are you okay?” 

“Yeah I just have the flue or something. Just give me a minute.” 

A minute turned to twenty and you could still hardly pick your head up. Kiri came and knelt next to you. “Hey they made it out okay. They took him kicking and screaming, but they got out. I just got off the phone with Midoriya. What do you say we get you to a hotel room and get you something to eat huh? My treat. It’s the least I can do after I basically volunteered you for this.” 

You wanted to protest but your stomach gave you away. You hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and you had thrown that up a long time ago. “Yeah I could really use some food. I’m fucking starving.” 

You called ahead and ordered a room as well as enough food for a small family. Kirishima got the room next to yours and told you to let him know if you needed anything. 

You opened the door and the smell of pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese hit you. You couldn't decide what you wanted so you had ordered it all. You needed a little comfort food. You deserved this. 

You had devoured the mac and cheese and was about to dig into the pizza when you heard the click of the door.

You grabbed your fork tightly as you stepped over to see who it was. 

“They didn't have cookie dough, so I could only get you cookies and cream.. I hope thats okay..”

You dropped your fork and flung yourself at him, “You’re so fucking stupid you know that! You cant do that to me. I was so scared!” 

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his nose through your hair, “I know. I’m sorry. I just.... I saw red. I couldn't let them get to you. The only thing on my mind was to protect you.  And then Kirishima told me they went to the apartment anyways. SHIT are you okay? I heard you stabbed a guy..?”

You flinched, “Well not exactly. I teleported the knife through the door... Zuko handled the other guy. Speaking of which he needs a bath... He has blood in his fur...”   

He cupped your face in his hands, “Later when were both not emotionally exhausted I’d like to talk about how badass and impressive you are. But nows not the time.” He looked to Zuko who was wagging his tail at his feet, “Thank you for looking out for our girl.” He gave him a quick pat on the head

You pulled away from his embrace and ran to the bathroom and threw up for probably the fifth time today. 

“Damn Y/n I’m sorry. I was the one who asked you to take the day off and then you had to go and work so fucking hard just so you guys could find me. I’m such a dumbass. I’m sorry.” 

You leaned against the tub, “You're not a complete dumbass. You still remembered the ice cream.” 

#bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugō #bakugo imagine #mha bakugou #mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #bhna #bhna bakugou #bhna imagine #bhna x reader #my hero academia

[shytiff]

Apr 2021 Wins

Started typing this on 4th apr lmaooo

1 - went to mcd. bought chicken + rice with the app promo. there’s a staff helping me on the order machine lol i feel badd there’s no need to do thatt. ate my lunchmade by mom at mcd’s muschola and went to sbux bcs its tumbler day. green tea latte w skim milk as usual. sent dr triya’s translation. ecmocard. started rereading goong (AGAIN. i probably have read it like 3 times minimum). still bring some feels

2 - its holiday today. spent almost the whole daylight rereading goong (turns out its pronounce ‘gung’ not ‘gong’ lol ive been wrong all this time) and finished it. the scene where they stare at each other, separated by the castle door, always gets me. got the old ipad charged (the screen are like 30% close to detaching and falling apart) and started AOT

3 - spent the whole day reading AOT. i like it when i have mini purposes in life (eg: finishing a manga series). AOT rly talks a lot about what do you want to do in life, the consequences of your choices and how you have to live with it. i felt triggered in a good way. the characters dont rly judge other’s choices, but they question them. discuss about it. give you some moral push. second gladi today. my vbg was still filpped hhhh. read aot until i felt sleepy and fell asleep. woke up very near subuh and prayed isya. my toxic trait is the horrible self care (and im talking bare minimum lol hehe lmao)

4 - finished aot. Asked irun about some aot explanations and she sent 5 paragraphs in one bubble. Slept. Flavola, kopsus coklat and somay. Also ate japota honey butter. Did 1 long input of ecmocard. Followed baepsae choreo. Moved my body a bit. Wow im not immediately sleeping. Amazing

5 - arrived at harkit 11-ish and went back about 1pm loll. super hungry when im arriving in kalideres. bought tahu colek worth 3000 (i wonder how the seller hears me through my 2 layers of mask), roti sisir and some ice cream in alfamidi. my fitlife protein powder ran out again. its my 2nd already. did some ecmocard, wasted my time after maghrib

6 - woke up late. did not have the mental strength to go to harkit so i decided to just stay home. bought sbux 1L green tea and macchiato. wasted the daylight and finally did some ecmocard in the evening,,,,

7 - off to harkit 7.30-ish pm in the rain. Took some data for ecmocard. Went to salemba to get tabung and surat bebas pustaka. Had breakfast slash lunch first, tried guudfuud (red rice, beef and omega egg). I like that the rice was not too much. Met up w ness ren and talked about isip dilemmas at sky. Afterwards went to flavola. Ordered mie rebus and roasted milk tea cause i somehow feel sooo hungry and in need of calories. It tasted so good, i was sitting in my usual seat facing the window, and the sky was a mixture of blue and grey. Brought croissant and sakura pocky at indomart. Ate the bread immediately after indomie. Went back home. Juan brought tahu gejrot that was delicious and crunchy. Internship files briefing by akis. Fell asleep

8 - woke up. Saw that dr retha was up for interview. Panicked. Thankfully it was at 12. I left home at 9:40 ish and arrived 11:50. Its a long ass way. Turns out i was interviewed with ka agassi. The doctors are so kind. They explained the gist of anesthesiology profession, and how its a choice you make, and its okay as long as you like what you do. Tried halo bowl for lunch. Sous vide chicken, rice, caesar sauce, beef bacon, and the deliciouss butter broccoli. Went back to kalideres and to starbucks. I only spent <2 hrs in there (a waste of money, i know). Bought decaf hazelnut latte (apparently the beans were kenyan something? Medium?) and butter croissant (need to cushion my stomach). Did GCP certification and sent it to the ever so kind mba Ai. Still got energy from the caffeine, did some ecmocard, read quran, read.... Toji fanfic 🤦‍♀️

9 - went to rsf w mom. We took the wrong way and had to take the long way but thank god theres still time to spare. Met dr rara. Some briefing. Went to rscm w agassi, submitted files for ijazah, went back to RSF. Girlll the cost of transport. MRT: 12K. Grab: 16-17k. Thats one way trip. Bought food at rsf canteen. Eocru briefing by the research coordinator. Ward tour w dr retha. Snacked on ovaltine provided by mba ai. Went home after maghrib by tj. Liqo along the way. Glad bersih (came late). Drank macchiato for some strength but still fell asleep quickly.i shouldnt have laid down

10 - kebakaran jenggot in the morning due to green screen positioning. Finally got the appropriate setup (after many fabric tries and cutting my mukena) at 08:30. Finished showering 08:45. Zoom was opened at 9 lmao. Somehow finished before 09:30. Zoompah w mom and dad along side me. After its ovee, some "photoshoot" w fam. At this point i was truly rly sleepy. Took of my makeup. Changed my clothes. And then racil silv dev showed up lol. I got gifts c: and then atikah came. And then i redid my makeup, this time with the help of friends to create fantastic eye make up look (which i can never pull off). Eyebrows by sil, eyeshadow and liner by cheldev lol. Took some photos. Dajen came. Talked. Videocalled w pupuy. A surprise gift from fianti came. And then chel dajen went back at 8. Still cant sleep. Slept at like 11-12

11 - lazed. Woke up, ate pizza (mom bought 2 of phd's 1m pizza) and bakwan, slept again. Matcha latte and ecmocard. Watched a bit of 2nd sinau

12 - off to rsf at 06:20. Arrived 07:15 ish. Lunch was ayam penyet accompanied by snacks that mba ai bought. Off to harkit at 14:05 (bcs my laptop somehow shut down and i lost all the unsubmitted data). And then off to kalideres at 15:30 ish to meet up w clara and search for clothes for almira's wedding. Went to lippo bcs clar saw this dress that kinda looks like the brokat given. We ate at ramen ya. It doesnt rly make you feel full, the filliny sensation was kinda like indomie. Saw that the dress looked different. Ate 1 boba pancake together at banban. Continued on to the tailor in kebon jeruk. The location was in an alley, and it was raining lol. Quoting clara: "the unnecessary struggles". The tailor was quite helpful (and she looks experienced). Arrived at clara's at 8 ish. Picked up by mom with car (it was raining) and arrived at abt 9. Hurriedly showered and tarawih and tidied up AND ITS ONLY 09:45. Its crazy how efficient one use time (and at the same time, how wasteful one can be)

13 - first day of fasting. The morning was spent taking samples. I stupidly took a sample thats not yet labeled im sorry :(((( i felt kinda tired and wanted to give up this. Give up anesthesia. Went back home at 14:00 and its cloudy. The bus was the nicer types and it was COLD. Read quran along the way. Picked up by juan. Opened laptop. And then its iftar time. I was sooo sleey and the tarawih was so long thst i closed my eyes along the way. Fianti called after tarawih, we talked til abt 21:30. And then i fell asleep

14 - went to rscm. Submitted serkom files. Met dr dyah and i hope we could somehow meet her again if we study in fkui again aamiin. Went to rsf by mrt. Arrived in lebak bulus just before it was raining. The bus took a while to arrive (usually theyre there, waiting). Its still raining like crazy so i took grabcar to AR from pesakih (39k). Played with my phone til iftar. Played phone again after tarawih and fell asleep

15 - i felt rlyy lazy and cant bring myself to wake up. Off to rsf at 07:15. There were coordinator ppl. Took sample. It was raining when i went back but i took grabbike from kalideres. Wasted my time and did not do ecmocard

16 - sampling. Snacked on keripik pisang at the room. Went back early at 13:15 ish. Picked up by juan. Sleeeept (and this is before the nightmareish mistake began)

17 - i did a mistake by telling dr retha (who took the sample today) the wrong patient (it switched in my unreliable memory. I feel terrible. Thank god shes quite chill abt it (?). Read jujutsu kaiseeen. Went to flavola. Did 1 ecmocard. Went to bandar jakarta baywalk by motorbike. Spent 135k and was quite full with many varieties. Arrived home at about 20:50. Turns out juan also had bukber with his friends. Phone call with fiiii, talked abt dimrob

18 - lazed all day, read jjk, finished my part of ecmocard (gave genky to ekal cause i was a dumbass at getting data). Ate mom's mentai rice, siomay. Drank green tea latte. Read jjk til 145 (mentok) at night. Proceeds to consume all things jjk lmaoo

19 - we took sooo long to get samples. Finished at 13:00. Went to rm with dr rara. Went back home. Watched the third sinau. Read the IMMACULATE jjk fics by celestialmechanics im IN LOVEEEE with the way s/he writes ughhhh

20 - samples took faster than usual. Mba ai did not came today. Went to RM and did some work there. Off to AR by 15:00. Arrived close to maghrib. Did not do any work afterwards lmao. Did not even wash my face

21 - magang as usual. Note to self: sit on the right side of the bus. Did nothing yesterday. Felt like shit after tarawih (but i showered before maghrib!!)

22 - todays problem was the swab sample not being there even though the staff allegedly already took it. Huft. Took a shower and out on vitacid (i cant remember the kast time i put on vitacid 😳 its probably been... a week or two?

23 - samples finished quite quickly. Already going home at 12. Lazedddd and lazed and lazed. Waited for emir to pick me up so i went to dm. Read an immaculate itadori x megumi fix thats just full of feels. Started demon slayer lets see

24 - literally just laid in bed reading manga and seeing tiktok and slept again and suddenly its 1 am. Showered. Still in a lazy mode. Havent begun clires work. Watched leah's vlog that said "go do things youve been putting off!". Finally finished the third and last video of Sinau Yuk ICU class with dr. Zeta, SpAn lolll even though the actual last class was on 7th apr. iftar was fish and chips and salad yuum

25 - woke up at like 1am since i slept too much yesterday. Ate tan ek tjoan bread and drank sbux matcha latte. Did some intern work. Read a bit of quran. Sahur. Cant even sleep again so i showered. Off with mom and dad (09:30) since dad’s going to get vaccinated at skk migas. Mom drove me to ara’s place (11:00). Talked a bit and even read quran again there. Off to GI (13:00) to meet up w regen. Walked around. Bought a discounted TBS green tea facial wash. Went back home by TJ (16:00). the bus station is a bit closer now. Arrived home close to maghrib (17:30). hurriedly showered and went to sleep (properly) after tarawih. A good good sleep since i got 9400 steps today and that tired me out lmaooo (bare minimum yall, i know). 

26 - woke up still sleepy. Slept again after iftar and woke up at 07:30. Skipped shower and off to RSF lmao. Went to medical record. Walked to the front of RSF originally planning to go to lebak bulus by angkot but i saw none. So i went through mrt instead. Stopped by at kebon jeruk and walked 800 meter (that tireeed me and made me feel parched under the sun) to risma busana for clothes fitting. Took gojek to jembatan gantung (turns out the closer halte to flyover was taman kota). Iftar was chicken noodle and risol and banana and i felt fullll and i slept

27 - today is off day since im alternating with agassi. read quran. watched shadow and bone (with 1,5x speed except for kanej and matthias nina scenes). didnt rly do any magang work except the table asked by dr retha. i feel like usually im operating on 70%. sleeping more doesnt rly add that. i need caffeine or physical activity. before i know it, its close to iftar.

28 - i ((felt)) like i had a decent amount of energy today. shouldve done some work between sahur and leaving the house but i ended up reading vampire knight lmaoooo the scenes had no business bringing so much butterflies. sampling together w agassi. mba ai didnt come in today. after agassi left did some magang work. i also went to RM to ask for more RM to bu dian. took angkot to lebak bulus for the first time. paid 5k. i had no idea which angkot went to lebak bulus and the driver (somehow knowing the right words to say) said “lebak bulus lebak bulus”. didnt read much quran on the way back. i just close my eyes and relaxed. felt kinda low on sugar. watched more shadow and bone on the way back and at home until close to iftar. didnt do anything after tarawih. slept hoping i woke up early (which i did, at 3am. but i slept again)

29 - im supposed to have ample energy but i just stuck around my bed until its time to get ready to go. read some kanej fic lol. I dont rly do anything productive after arriving home

30 - made intern log, magang as usual. Did not go to rm. Finished watching shadow and bone. Rested bcs tomorrow's saturdayyy

[diamondsnpolaroids]

Kingston's birth story♡

On Thursday February 13th I had my last midwives appointment to which I asked for a membrane sweep. My midwife happily agreed and did it. For the rest of the day I felt regular contractions but unfortunately nothing came of it.

Friday February 14th, my due date. Still getting contractions but spread apart more and not as strong. I spent all day crying, begging my baby boy to hurry up. I felt as if my body was failing him. It wasnt trying hard enough, I wasnt doing enough, he was ready but I just couldnt. I couldnt sleep, everytime I tried I'd get up and start walking in hopes my body would finally start labouring properly.

Saturday February 15th, 12:15am I finally settled down enough to doze off after being awake since 6am. 12:32am I wake up to hear and feel a huge popping sound. I immediately sit up thinking something is terribly wrong. I actually get to my feet and that's when I felt it. Water gushing out of me. I had zero control. I waddle run to my bathroom, trying to avoid soaking my pants any more than they already were. I see nothing but clear fluid with tinges of red. That's when I realized it was indeed my water breaking. I couldnt get up for 2 minutes, my amniotic fluid was pouring out of me like you wouldnt believe. Finally I'm able to clean myself up, get on new pants and wake my mother to let her know. I told her to stay asleep since most women dont contract right away, thinking I still had time. By 12:50am I felt my first hard contraction. 12:53, another. 12:56, another. I call my sister to let her know to be ready to pick me up. I message King's father and grandmother, then attempt to wake my mother again. I call my midwife and was told to wait till my contractions were either unbearable or lasting 1 minute, 1 minute between contractions, for 1 hour. 1:34 I call my sister again and tell her to come over to help me labour since it was getting intense. Around the same time King's father comes over since I knew this was going to be a fast process. Contractions were getting closer and closer together, getting more unbearable with each passing one. I call my midwife again, my sister doing the talking for me, telling her we are on our way to the hospital.

2:20am we leave my place and head there. 2:36 we're parked and I'm inside trying to sign in. Having to stop and contract infront of a room full of strangers. I get my bracelet and sent upstairs. 3 more contractions ensue in the meantime. We get up to the birthing floor and head for triage. That's when things begin to get intense and blurry. I'm sat in a bed, in extreme pain, trying to answer questions and get blood taken. I'm noticing this is all happening really fast and we need to hurry. I'm checked and told I'm 4/5cm dilated. We get told to move to a birthing room. Finally arriving in the place my child would be born, I lay down and my body takes over. I get no more than 30 seconds between contractions for my body to calm down. I get checked again, I'm told I'm 7/8 cm dilated and everyone is shocked. Its happening and its happening soon. Theres no chance for me to receive any drugs or IVs. No contraction belt to track them or heart monitor belt to check on King. Within 2 minutes my contractions get so out of control I can feel my body pushing against my wishes. I tell the room this, apologize and scream all at once. I'm being told to try and stop but I physically couldnt. After another 5 minutes of this I'm checked one last time, but this time im told to push. Everyone is shocked. In 7 minutes I've dilated 3cm and ready to bring my baby into the world.

I'm told to move into position, breaking both the fathers hand and my sisters while I sit there pushing. My sister is instructed to hold my leg and push it against me, my mother is told to grab my hand and the midwife had my other leg up and ready. I'm screaming bloody murder and trying my hardest to push. I will never be able to compare this pain to anything else.

4:09am, I give a push and my little mans head is out. I'm told to give one last push, my sister looks at Kings head and by the time she moved her head to look at me, he was out and on my chest. My baby boy is finally born and screaming almost as loud as me. Kingston came out at 7lbs 0oz, 19 inches long.

Within a few minutes he was calm and looking all around. I finally come to and realize what just happened. Instant shock, not knowing what to think or say, I'm hugging my baby so tight against my chest with tears going down my face. I did it. I finally did it. 9 long hard months of growing this tiny human and I finally bring him into this world for everyone to see and love.

I spent 13 hours after his birth in the hospital till we were sent home. Multiple family members and friends stopping by to say hello and meet my little ham. Everyone is shocked and amazed I managed to have a baby within 3 1/2 hours of my water breaking, zero drugs, all natural. His skin colour being perfect from the moment he was put on my chest, next to no wrinkles, just all around perfect. He took to breastfeeding so easily, barely cried unless he was cold. My perfect little man.

It's been 13 days since he entered this world, dropping to 6lb 6oz after 3 days, up to 6lb 9oz by day 5, then 7lb 4oz by day 10. Kingston has been nothing but a dream. I am so incredibly blessed every single day with his presence. He makes me feel every emotion under the sun, but mainly proud and love. I dont remember what life was like before him and I couldnt imagine my future without him. Everything our mothers, aunts, grandparents and friends told us is true, you never know love until you see your baby for the first time. I never had expectations on how life would be with him finally here but even if I did, hed surpass them all. I have such an angel baby who has me feeling more blessed than ever before. He is my entire world and I'd go through all the pain and suffering again if I had to for him. The absolute love of my life. ♡

#polaroid #ardenmarie #instax #instax neo classic #instax mini 90 #framed prints #pregnancy #pregnant #baby #birthday #birth story #born #babyboy #my baby #baby bump #babylove #kingston #birth #child labor #labor #labour

[revol-lover]

gotta vent.

so we live in an apartment, well a two family home but the same thing. We live on second floor. for the past 3/4 years the people who lived below us were the people who owned the house and they were really nice, we were all as considerate of each other and whatnot and we had literally no problems. not a single one. well last fall they bought their retirement home, a single family. so they rented the first floor out to new people who moved in in february. literally they have caused issues since almost the beginning. theyre super loud and inconsiderate with their music but we figured, like we’re not going to be here forever (or much longer hopefully) so we just dealt with it. until we started hearing them mock our child. ok. thats frustrating. but what can we do. we dealt with it. julia does wake up at 6am most days which is early, but we do our best and pretty much successfully keep the noise level down in the morning by letting her watch cartoons and what not. the girl who lives down ther works but the guy is home all day playing video games in the back room, blasts his games, swears and bangs his feet on the ground all damn day. its fucking annoying. but we dealt with it. because again. we’re hoping to move soon.

then the day before last night they were super loud. starting as soon as we put julia to bed (which they know exactly when that is because i’ve heard them mocking me singing you are my sunshine to her. really mature fucking assholes) they started stomping their feet, banging furniture, yelling and screaming noises and shit all night until literally 11 pm when they went to bed (their bedroom under ours) and were talking loud and laughing. opening draws and closing them. i had an anxiety attack that lasted literally hours and didnt fall asleep until after midnight.

then LAST night was the fucking worst. it started with music at 5:30 pm. ok cant complain about that. it wasn't late. then they had friends over. who were yelling and screaming. then the music got louder. stomping. yelling. banging on table. literally the music was so loud our floor was vibrating. completely inappropriate. this went on at max volume until 9:30 when i finally had enough. kevin was frustrated and loudly said something about them being fucking animals. so they started howling. great. they were very clearly extremely drunk or high by the way they sounded so we didnt feel comfortable even confronting them (they were being so fucking immature that i dont how anything would have come of it). 

so at 930 i texted our landord. i didnt know what else i was supposed to do. i let her know whats going on. she asked me if i thought they were doing it “purposefully” i mean? yes? tf? anyway she said they would come over and talk to them. an entire hour passes. they dont show up. music/screaming/banging gets louder and louder. meanwhile julia has woken up numerous times through this, clearly isnt able to stay asleep with the noise and vibration of the music. so an hour after i texted my landlord. their music stops and it sounds like the girl is on the phone. suddenly shes got the phony professional serious voice and says something about they stopped at 930 (not true). hung up. music back immediately along with screaming profanities and banging shit. this went on until 11 pm. landlord never followed up with me and i figured well shit they waited an entire hour to even call them not show up like they said they would, clearly they dont fucking care. 11pm came, their friends left, screaming in the hallway before they did then they were silent. i was so riled up on anxiety i got literally like no sleep last night before julia of course woke up at 5:40am because she had a horrible nights sleep.

this just fucking sucks. 

like why. i dont get it. are they seriously trying to retaliate for us having a KID? a 2 year old? who is stuck in the house for way more than she used to be since the quarantine shit? like she’s honestly not even that loud. yes she sings. yes she dances around and runs back and forth sometimes but like i’m sorry shes a fucking kid. how sick do you  have to be to try to punish a little girl for being a damn little girl? and its not anything else because kevin and i do not make noise. we never play our music or tv loud. we have always been considerate. i just cant believe that there are people like this out there that are this fucking immature.  and you know if you have a problem with a kid being a kid then idk maybe knock on our door and talk to us? see if theres ANYTHING we can do? dont just be an asshole and intentionally try to ruin her sleep at night. like i have never been a violent person in my life but these people make me so unbelievably angry with how cruel they are being. like yes it would bother me if it was just me and kevin dealing with this. but a 2 year old? theyre trying to bother a 2 yr old? like seriously?

anyway. if you have any spare good vibes to give i’d really appreciate them. im literally terrified to go to our laundry in the basement because i dont want to face these fucking assholes. i dont feel safe here anymore. 

we have some potential moving options MAYBE coming up. so if you have any good vibes at all i’d really appreciate it. i just want my kid to have her own space so she can be a kid without this bullshit.

[mummabearsmusings]

ALL MY OTHER POSTS AND A BIG UPDATE.

My ex got residency three years ago and I got contact supervised by my family, or a few named agreed friends.

This was due to ongoing concerns from.my ex and members of his family, concerns they echoed for months, but never shared them with me, or my doctor, just with the nursery my cub was at.

These allegations, I still don't know what they were, but they were serious enough for social services to visit, once and decided that I had made mistakes because I was unwell, and that whatever those were they were completely unintentional (absent minded human errors, nothing serious, but got reported as safeguarding concerns)

Supervision lasted for 18 months, because it was up to him to decide when my time increased and my supervision decreased. That meant my mum had to sleep on my sofa almost every weekend for a year, my mum who has diabetes type 2, fibromyalgia and asthma which he knew about and when she didn’t my sister did. My sister who has two children of her own, both with additional needs, which he also knew about but we weren't allowed there..we weren't allowed to stay out anywhere besides my dads unless he gave permission, said so on the order. Wasn't allowed to take him on a playdate without it either, because there was four people named additionally on our order that were allowed to "supervise" me. It wasn't fun but I didn’t have a choice because his barrister had worded the court order so beautifully for the resident parent. I reapplied to court after 13 months of that order being in place, requesting supervision is gone and we have shared care and that the judge will give me permission to take him abroad and give me access to his passport that I applied and paid for..but they could only send to resident parent unless they had something from them in writing it could he sent to another address. He initially said he was too young, he may panic, he may get lost, someone may knock me over/out and snatch him, he may get sick, it might hurt his ears. He remembered and put in his statements that on our last holiday abroad that my nieces and little cousins got up to dance and no adult followed.I was 30 weeks pregnant.. so our child wasn't even born yet. I offered once he confirmed i could be unsupervised and finally have him over midweek sometimes meaning I could finally take him to school on my own that I would be happy to have him all three late shifts he worked each week but he had it covered almost always because of the fact he moved back to the family home and his mums a childminder so he had childcare sorted when he was working and it wasn’t my time. I originally got him one afternoon a week until 6, three weekends out of four Friday from 3 til sunday at 6 and half of all hols. That one afternoon was up to him because I wasn't working and he worked shifts on a rota so flexibility was key.   But meant it wasn’t often the same afternoon each week to begin with..then it mostly became thursdays which meant football training 6 til 7, so again I offered and asked if he could just stay here after and instead I was to drop him off after training (usually about half 7) After he confirmed I could be unsupervised and have alternate contact on his weekends he also allowed 6 to be extended to 7. Before he confirmed I could have him alternate time, every month for over a year it meant I had no contact with him for up to 9 days at a time Last year due to the way his annual leave went I didn't see him from last week of summer hols until his first morning back at school. That was 12 days of no contact. It took another 13 months to get a first hearing. In that time I chose to do three parenting courses, a first aid refresher, two Surrey adult learning courses and a second round of CBT. In that time I also volunteered as a parent helper at his school and joined the PTA and was heavily involved. I began training (studying/volunteering in another primary school as a teaching assistant) and I qualified last year. I am not back volunteering at either school because no non  paid members of staff can be on the premises. I fought back.I will always fight back I will always fight for what I think is right..and fair..and i will fight to be that boys mum. My mh was no concern to any medical professionals. Never had been but never got to exhibit that to the judge the first time. This time I did,plus added all my course certificates etc. In March I was given 50/50 joint residency, so every week since (bar the last four weeks of summer) I have had him from thursday to sunday. Some weeks I will have him weds to saturday. It’s his dad’s weekend off, normally he is working because the weekend he books off is our sons birthday, for the first time since he moved out he has also had his own birthday off work Our son is now 8. Despite all our clashes etc we have spent every birthday with him, just us three, the previous two years we even managed to throw birthday parties together..and we have spent every Christmas morning together too, because it makes the kid happy and both of us don't want to miss out, so we choose to share..he then gets family time still..we're not a family anymore but we're his. He pointed that out to me when he was 5 and it's always stuck in my mind All I want is the kid to be happy so if spending time with my ex makes him happy then crack on. Our son hero worships him and he is a brilliant attentive loving dad. They adore each other. Just like our son loves me loads as well. He's such a great kid Smart. Kind. Funny. Sassy. Very loving. His happiness will always come first..when he's older no doubt his wishes and feelings will change..but for now if the kid wants us both birthday and Christmas morning he's got us both. Here. I have to just deal with the current situation by letting him "win"  But the reason I am doing the Freedom Programme again is because I need to learn how to have boundaries, set them and stick to them. I am very much the fawn response.   I need help with the boundary thing.  As I mentioned above we have always shared our son’s birthday, plus christmas eve and morning, this time he didnt even ask if he could stay at mine He’s just invited himself round. It was the status quo before because the first year I still had to be supervised and that night it could only have been by him. I have 0 issue with him coming here first thing nor coming over christmas morning til half12 if that's what our son wants to keep happening. I would rather we share than either of us miss out but he didn’t even ask me if he was okay to stay, I'm more than happy for our son to see us both on his birthday and to have him here for a while but I don't want him staying here anymore. It sets my anxiety rocketing but I'm never going to let either of them know that or you know it's going to go against me My family don't think he should set foot in here at night time ever saying I can't trust him not to go through my stuff, to start taking pics, to take or hide other stuff, or to try and pull something else to mess with my head.  I'm well aware he doesn't love me. I'm not in love with him any more. I'm not ready to meet anyone or hook up with anyone else yet it’s having a boundary knowing it can backfire I dont want to miss any of his birthday either. But if he had his own place I'd have happily gone over in the morning, hell I'd have even bought bloody bacon sandwiches over ykno I've done fp twice prior to the 50/50 I want it because I need to figure out how to set those boundaries. Grey rock isn’t an option for me. Because my respectful amicable texts are what the solicitor said are like my trump card when I applied to vary. Done three parenting courses. My problem is I will fake it for our son’s sake, there has been nothing I haven't agreed to if it makes him happy. I can have my own life and make my own choices when he is bigger but now that smile is worth all the discomfort and to be honest with you when its just the three of us it's so easy going and it feels real. I see a genuine smile when our son and I are playing.. or a genuine one from me when they are. Like true co-parenting. There isn't a former. I met him when he was 21. I am the only person he ever bought home. The first and only girlfriend. I just feel like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't but I will do anything for that boy regardless of other people's opinions, including my own So do I just need to suck it up? Am I wrong? People say to me you meet someone they won't tolerate you spending time with your ex..well I'm sorry but if our son wants to spend some time with his mum and dad then I will do it for him and if the person I meet doesn’t understand that then they don’t understand me, or how much I love my child. I feel awful sometimes for complaining because he has never raised his hand to me.   I feel like I am not worthy. But I totally know emotional and psychological abuse is just as horrendous and that my experience is as valid as everyone else's if you get what I mean.   I actually have a few good friends now and a few weekends ago my son was invited to a friends to play out, their mums were all having a laugh and including me and even shared some Prosecco with me. I still feel like I'm being spied on. And I actually don't think I am any more. I need to stop panicking and just enjoy being a mum without second guessing myself. I have voiced my concerns about the status quo remaining and as per all of my feelings are invalidated by him I am trying to put a boundary in and set it down but he is refusing to acknowledge my opinion. Same thing, different day. Will it ever end? I have fought to be the best mum I can be, the best role model to my cub. I have a more structured schedule to establish a real routine with him and it means I can now make plans, try and have a life. I spent all that time grieving a living loss, all my time and energy were on fighting this, now I have I want to grieve my relationship that ended almost four years ago, by granny. I want to move on with my life, I want to like myself and eventually love myself again, I want to establish an identity again as opposed to a label. I want to move on, to try and be happy in myself, in my life. I want to be me again. I want to heal, I want to stop feeling like a sufferer and realise I am a survivor. I want to be confident, I want to go out, trust people again, I want to stop feeling like I am under a microscope and I always will be. I have made some wonderful new friends, reconnected with old ones. I want to stop being controlled. I am not a remote. I am a person. I am a mother and a bloody brilliant one. I am a great auntie, friend, daughter, granddaughter and sister and I just want to be acknowledged as a good person.  I don't want him in trouble I want to give a clean slate and draw a line in the sand. I don't want any of the bad anymore. I just want to focus purely on the good now. Why am I still not allowed to do that? Why is it not okay for me to just be me?

#MummaBearMusings

[aahsokaatano]

ITALY????

Y’all I spent one whole week in Italy in 2017 and it was one of the most bizarre fucking weeks of my life

let’s break it down from the beginning

[under a read more for length]

So, fall of 2017 I was studying abroad in London. One of the classes I was taking was specifically for study abroad students, designed to get us engaging in the culture of London or whatever i dont really remember the class itself but my god do i remember the people i met in it

two in particular were these girls, also American. We shall call them Molly and Ally. They had quickly made friends with each other, and after one of the class trips into London, i was friendly with them as well. The “reading week” or fall break was coming up, and they mentioned that they were going to Italy and asked if I wanted to go. I had booked a short tour to Dover, but thought “oh my god Italy???? Fuck yes!” and so I bought my plane tickets then asked them where they had booked hotel rooms so that I could add myself to their itinerary

“Oh,” Molly said, “we haven’t, don’t worry about it”

Me, a seasoned traveler “?????? uh”

I bugged them about this for at LEAST a week and finally, about THREE DAYS from when we were supposed to leave, I just went ahead and booked an assortment of hostels and airbnbs for us in all the cities they wanted to go to and told them to pay me back later

they actually admitted afterwards that that had been a smart move on my part which like????? no SHIT its a smart move to have a plan where you’re gonna sleep every night while in a foreign country. god.

So, lets go through this day by day

Day 1 - London to Milan

we flew from London to Milan in the evening, getting there pretty late at night. and it was only once we were actually IN Italy that I learned that 1) none of us spoke Italian and 2) despite having grown up in two areas with large Hispanic populations, neither Molly or Ally spoke a lick of Spanish, which is close enough to Italian that you can kind of limp through a conversation of one if you know the other.

so, somehow, I ended up being our Italian translator for the week, armed with nothing but a translator website, a handful of Italian music terms, and the ability to roll my r’s fairly well for a white person. Literally, i figured out where the bus stop was outside of the airport because I saw the word “fermata” painted on the pavement and I knew that meant “long pause” in sheet music terms so I hazarded a guess it meant stop or similar in regular Italian

(sidenote I almost got in a fight with some random Italian dude on the bus because Molly was going on about how excited she was to try the pizza and I told her it wasn’t going to be the same because “the pizza you’re used to is an American invention” and he turned around and started going on about the tradition of pizza in Italy and I was like I just mean that American pizza is different from real Italian pizza i did not mean to offend i’m sorry!!!!!! anyways)

the bus dropped us in a square in the middle of Milan and we got out and i’m lookin at my airbnb app trying to figure out where we need to go and i said “okay we need to get a cab” and Molly and Ally are arguing about something and this RANDOM ASS DUDE walks up to us and is like “you need taxi?” and i said yes to he leads us back to his REGULAR ASS CAR, NOT A TAXI and tells us to get in, and for some unknown fucking reason I do and Molly and Ally follow me and shut up real fast because this is sketchy as fuck but the guy did take us to the airbnb without murdering us so thats a win i guess

The airbnb by the way was more like a mini hostel - it was this apartment where pretty much every room except the bathroom had been converted into a bedroom and so probably not entirely legal but whatever. whatever. 

Day 2 - Milan to Venice

i woke up early the next morning and went to take a shower at the bathroom at the end of the hall and found out that the lights didn’t work. Whatever, I’m mostly blind without my glasses anyways so i just showered in the dark, no biggie

we had an early bus to catch from Milan to Venice, so we headed out to the bus station. I’ll be honest, I do not remember how we got there. I think we walked, because I ended up with a coffee at some point so I probably got it from some cafe on the way? But idk. I was so tired.

We get on the bus, I found two empty seats far away from Molly and Ally, and immediately stretched out and fell asleep.

Ally woke me a little later and said “c’mon, we’re here!”

I was confused as all hell because it had not been nearly long enough for us to get all the way to Venice, but I got off the bus and was greeted by Molly stretching her arms out and proclaiming “Welcome to Venice!” underneath a sign that said we were at the Verona bus station.

They did not believe me when I said Verona and Venice were two different places. “Venice has canals, Verona is where Romeo & Juliet is set. There are no canals in R&J, they’re two different places!” I literally had to pull out my phone, go to google maps, and zoom out until they could see that Venice was still several hours away before they believed me.

The bus driver almost didn’t let us back on but I was able to show him on the tickets that our end destination was, in fact, Venice.

Venice itself was pretty neat. We got to go on a gondola ride and I ate an entire pizza by myself at dinner lmao.

Day 3 - Venice to Florence

we took a train from Venice to Florence the next morning, and that’s when I discovered that Italian train stations have lovely little cafes with AMAZING coffee and really good pastries. The other two didn’t drink coffee but like, their loss. it was fantastic. 

Florence was great, we found a little shop that sold really yummy gelato for only 1 Euro a scoop - Geletaria La Carraia. If you ever end up in Florence, definitely check it out!

We wandered around for a while, took a lot of pictures. There was some famous church that was undergoing some renovations, but as we walked up to it Molly gasped and said “I’ve climbed that in Assassin’s Creed!” which was pretty funny. 

We went to a museum that had made a bunch of models of some of Leonardo DaVinci’s inventions. We went to an art museum and stumbled across Michaelangelo’s David on accident, so that was the big “wtf” moment of the day. Also that night Molly decided to buy a bottle of wine to take home to a friend of her’s back in America, but realized after buying it that her backpack wasn’t big enough to cart it around for the rest of the week so I ended up carrying an entire fucking bottle of wine for the rest of the trip because I was the only one smart enough to bring a proper backpacking backpack and not just my school bag.

Also the hostel we were in had actual skeleton keys for their rooms and actual goddamn keyholes that one could clearly see through so i left the key in the lock all night AND hung my sweatshirt from the door handle so that no one could peek in at us

Day 4 - Florence to Pisa

once again, I woke up early, went into the bathroom attached to our room (the hostel had had a cancellation and so we ended up in a private room instead of a dorm style) and discovered that the lights didn’t work so I had a second shower in the dark

we took another train from Florence to Pisa, and there we ran into our only bit of bad weather

What’s the big draw in Pisa? The Leaning Tower, right?

What was the only day it rained, non-fucking-stop, the entire time we were in Italy? THE DAY WE WERE IN PISA

I got so soaked that I actually bought a new sweatshirt because the one I was wearing was DRIPPING

anyways, after we had taken several dumb touristy pictures and grabbed an early dinner at a nearby restaurant, we decided to head over to the room I had booked. The cheapest place I could find was a tiny cabin at a campground nearby. According to the map on my phone, it was a short walk away.

A solid hour later, we finally trudged up to the main office of the campground, shivering and soaked, and got the keys to our cabin. We set our stuff down, and Ally and Molly decided to go back out to the grocery store we had passed coming in. I waved them off and went to take a shower in the bathroom with fully functioning lights! hooray!

Day 5 - Pisa to Rome

another morning, another train station with excellent coffee. We got into Rome and, at this point, we were all so tired from travelling that I was finally able to take charge. up until this point, Molly had been railroading us, even sort of bullying Ally in the process, but now she was exhausted and I, through a combination of practice in functioning while dead on my feet, lots of travel experience, and Mom Friend Instincts, took the reins. We got to Rome and I said “we’re going to the church with the big hole in the roof (its a thing, look it up) and then we’re going to eat.... at this place around the corner and then we’re going to to go our hostel and check in”

they didn’t argue, and that’s a true testament to how fucking tired the two of them were, especially Molly, because she would argue about anything and everything given half a chance. We also went to the military museum that day, mostly because it was free and also air conditioned

(also while looking through my pictures of this trip i just discovered that i still have the picture i took of the Rome hostel FAQ page that had by the front desk, which i now remember i did because it had the wifi password on it and we weren’t in our room for 30 seconds before one of the other two asked what the wifi password was so, once again, i show that i am a very good traveler/travelling buddy)

Day 6 - Rome

so we had the next full day in Rome, and we got up early to get in line for the Vatican. I wanted to be there by 7am, Molly was like “it doesn’t even open until 9!” and we compromised at 8 and it was STILL an enormous line so i was like “see? this is why i wanted to get here early”

Oh, but before we went to the Vatican, i took a shower. IN. THE. DARK. BECAUSE ALL OF ITALY EXCEPT FOR PISA DECIDED THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE TO HAVE A SHOWER WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE TO FUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY LIKE AN ASSHOLE

ALSO on the way to the Vatican, I asked if the two of them had their passports. Ally said yes. Molly said yes, why?

And I had to then explain to Molly, a 20 year old RELIGIOUS STUDIES MAJOR, who was RAISED CATHOLIC and who had FAMILY IN THE CLERGY, that the Vatican, THE CENTER OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, is it’s own country. 

she, again, did not believe me until i pulled it up on google for her

turned out that we didn’t need our passports stamped to enter the Vatican but still! still!!!!!

so it turned out that whatever day we were there on, the Sistine Chapel isn’t open that day, so we just walked through the cathedral and then headed out to the Colosseum and the ruins of the Senate behind it, both of which were very cool

Day 7 - Rome to Milan to London

we got up even EARLIER on our last day, I took another shower in the dark, and we rushed over to the Vatican, speedwalked through most of the museum, and finally got into the Sistine Chapel, which was absolutely breathtaking. Then we hauled ass back to the train station to catch our train back to Milan.

At this point in the trip, I was so fucking done with the two of them, but especially Molly. Ally was sweet and naive, but she was also willing to listen to new information. Molly was just a stubborn ass with a mean streak a mile wide and I was COMPLETELY done associating with her.

Luckily, since I had booked my flights separately, while we had flown into Milan on the same plane, I had a completely different flight back to London - to a different airport, even. They were going back to London City, but I was heading to London Gatwick. Both planes were set to depart around the same time, from two gates that were next to each other though, so i couldn’t really escape them until - uh oh! My flight was delayed. 

Molly and Ally were fretting about it but i was like “it’s fine. it’s fine. I’ve been flying since i was literally 3 months old and I s o m e h o w know more Italian AND Spanish than the two of you combined, even though I would never say that I speak EITHER of those languages. Just go.”

The flight ended up being delayed like 5 hours due to mechanical issues. They finally just got another plane for us, and we finally took off from Milan. When we went over Paris, the captain, obviously feeling bad about the delay, made sure to tilt the plane in both directions so that everyone could see the Eiffel Tower lit up, it was really neat.

We finally got back to London at literally like 230 in the morning. The busses and some of the trains weren’t even running at that point - certainly not all the way out to the fancy little liberal arts college I was going to. I went up to some security guard at the airport and said “just tell me how close I can get to the University of Roehampton on the trains” and he told me to take the train to Black Friars so I got out there and there was a bus, but it was like 40 minutes out. It’s now pass 3am, I am exhausted after a long, weird week in Italy, I texted my dad and he said “just get an Uber i’ll pay for it”

The Uber driver was very nice and as soon as I got in he said “you look really cold! do you want the heat on?” i could have fucking kissed him. he was super nice. actually made sure that I was still texting my dad (i had mentioned it when I got in because I almost dropped my bag while trying to text and maneuver at the same time) every few minutes. offered to let me take and send a picture of him to my dad. otherwise didn’t really speak and just let the music play. I tipped him literally whatever was in my pocket at that time, i don’t remember how much it was, but it was at least 20% and probably more. Really great guy. 

Random London Uber driver from 2017, you remain the best Uber driver and I love you

i finally crawled into my shitty little dorm bed at about 4am, exhausted and utterly bewildered by the past week

honestly??? I’m still bewildered by my week in Italy.

wtf even happened in all that mess.

#italy #venice #florence #rome #pisa #tales from the hill #chris #thebubbledragon

[nightunite]

For the asks,,,, all of them. From every single one you've reblogged good luck

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

Somewhat, not as much as personality

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes

3. Are you a virgin?

Yes

4. Are you in a relationship?

No

5. Are you in love?

No

6. Are you single this year?

Yes

7. Can you commit to one person?

Yes

8. Describe your crush

Dont have one

9. Describe your perfect mate

Someone who gets me

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sure

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Sure

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

Nope

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Nah

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Nah

15. Do you have any piercings?

Nope

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Nope

17. Do you like kissing in public?

Depends on the person

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Nope

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Nope

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Nah

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Maybe

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Nope

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Nope

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

Nope

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change 

about your body?

Nope

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Yes

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

No

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

No

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yes

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

No

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

Idk a good bit I’d guess

43. How long was your longest relationship?

2 months

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

2

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

None

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

None

47. How old are you?

22

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

Aight I wish them luck

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

N/A

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would 

you accept?

Nah we split for a reason

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

Yeah my best friend

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yeah, they were toxic and actively hurt me

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

No

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yeah my friends

55. Share a relationship story.

The first time my first boyfriend ever hugged me since we got together I almost puked on him from nerves

56. State 8 facts about your body

5′6

Brunette

Need glasses

Bigass feet

Eczema

Got that tum tum

Tiny hands and wrists

Lots of little scars

57. Things you want to say to an ex

I hope your life is going alright

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

Kindness

Communication

Understanding

Loyalty

Knowledge

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

I have a few somewhere on the blog already

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

Oof like a year

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

If I feel safe with them

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Cuddles and spooning baby

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

Anything past groping

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Anything past a friendly hug or touch

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Dont have one

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

Dont have one

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Just us chilling doing something casual before heading home and getting fuckin weird

68. What is your sexual orientation?

Pansexual

69. What turns you off?

Condescension and violence

70. What turns you on?

A lil possessiveness can be nice, also smelling good

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

Dont have any

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

Havent had sex but probably praise would be good

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Bring me pretzel bites

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Teeth gotta be nice

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Brought me Wendys that they paid for

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

Bought my friend a giant stuffed animal for Valentines day

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

Long as youre both consenting adults with no power issues its all good

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Hmmmm probably the breeding kink

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I dont tbh

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Literally an hour ago

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Chris Evans

Zendaya

Margot Robbie

Sebastian Stan

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My friend 

83. Who was your first kiss with?

My first boyfriend

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Going different places in life

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

Sure