#(ill probably draw more butterflies at some point because butterflies are too cool **not** to!!)

[airawisteria]

#kh #kairi #my art #digital art #art #fanart #(fuck hands) #(but also!!!) #(i ***need*** to draw butterflies sooooo much more often!!) #(theyre so fun to draw and stuff!!!) #(i had soooo much fun coming up with cool butterfly designs!!) #(ill probably draw more butterflies at some point because butterflies are too cool **not** to!!) #(anyways!!) #(i really really like drawing kairi!!) #(shes a lot more fun to draw than sora or riku will ever be) #(for me specifically i mean!) #(her hair isnt bullshit ive gotta figure out the logistics of) #(i get to draw cute eye lashes) #(and she wears pink!!) #(... maybe i should draw the trio in nothing but pink black and white...) #(ill write a id later cause ive got hw to do but yeah!!) #(also also i think im finally getting the hang of backgrounds!!)

[bimbosupreme]

mephistopheles love post

the equivalent of a mental breakdown tangent is all going under a read more

yes believe it or not that freaky ass literally not even human clown in fgo gets love, and love from who? me and like 3 other people

first off

ok and with that out of the way,

i’m not even familiar with their lore. Reason why i stopped caring about the lore behind faust and mephistopheles is that an interlude happens that shows that mephistopheles is just some homunculi made by some mage nobody named faust. and even then the interlude doesn’t talk about the lore behind the novel, its just you helping mephy kill faust

that being said though i would hope the developers expand on their origins more and potentially even release a “true” mephistopheles (a girl can dream)

So, they’re not even the real deal demon known as Mephistopheles in the first place, and i can hear u going “well that’s lame” and like, no, we just need to redirect our feelings from appreciating a demon to appreciating a homunculi who has a weird characterization in the fate universe

Design tangent:

Fgo was actually my first gacha, and so when I came across this servant I kinda instantly fell in love with their design, I love the colors used in their final ascension and overall appearance. The hat that has horns but they're not quite horns, theyre these weird colorful pointy twisty things, the large garish butterfly ornament on their chest (which isnt ugly at all and somehow works so well with their everything on them) is cool, the tights are so cool to look at, i mean look -- a checkered pattern with golden lining on the shorts portion, the tits out look like yes we get it youre insane, the gloves??? purple and also cool, plus theyve got this gradient thing going on? and the fingers have this line going through them, thats so cool. actually the only other servant that comes close to this in terms of “out there” colorful designs is probably final ascension kama and qsh ( i love them both). Also, mephy has this scissor weapon?? thats so cool lol i dont see any other servant wielding giant scissors (for the love of god give mephy an animation update i need to see them use the scissors while doing flips) and they also have this bomb obsession going on? cant relate, but the bombs designs are so so cool i mean its a fucking centipede -- no idea if centipedes are a thing in the original faust but thats something Ill have to look up at some point. ALSO mephy is wearing heels oh my god anytime people wear heels is an automatic win. No clue whats going on with the hair but its kinda cute (dont question me on that) and it has curls and the hair colors are cool i mean its like a lavender thing with darker purple highlights? i love colorful things and i love people with wacky personalities so. Oh my god their tail how could i forget that its so cute and dumb i almost forgot it was there, like what is that even a whip? i dont.. but its got these little purple tips to them that are kinda cute/cool but more cool because tails are fucking up there alongside heels in terms of cool stuff on characters. and of course their fluffly cape -- again no idea what the designers were going for i mean look its a mess of a design i have no fucking idea what any of it means and i hope they explain it someday because that hair and the butterfly and the tail and the hat and the fluffy garb and a bomb obsession?? and this got the go ahead - yeah lets add that to the game like what

ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT THEIR EYES

appreciate these with me for a second

god.

oh and the blue lipstick and face paint god thats a cool design ugh

they can be normal too or at least as normal as possible i mean they even trimmed their eyebrow here lol but you can see the not so well hidden insanity/goofiness peaking through with the inside of the suit at the bottom being highlighter purple and a green shirt with gold accents underneath the black coat at the front <3, fuckin hate that hairstyle tho bro we gotta get that middle part hairstyle outta hereeeee--

TAKE A DETOUR AND LOOK AT THIS LINK THOUGH THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL AND BEST IVE SEEN THEM IN FANART. THE POTENTIAL IS THERE. WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS AND THEY LOOK GREAT ITS POSSIBLE. I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE FROM THAT DRAWING.

anyways this is me going off all about why i like their design! but we haven’t even touched the nitty gritty of it all. their personality! what personality you may ask? havent they always been some weirdo laughing a lot and saying dumb shit all the time? well yes and no

Characterization:

True to their dumb little clown design mephy also acts like one.

Some servants bond 1 lines are like “fuck off” and some actually talk to you, nah this bastard mephistopheles’ just laughing. and for the second bond line it seems to imply theyre fuckin with you more (showing up and dissapearing and saying ‘afterimage’) so thats nice that theyre actually making some effort to mess with you in a way? some servants take a long time to actually interact with you so this shows theyre not afraid of interacting with you and thats just at bond 2. and of course the third bond line implies they were probably trying to betray you, its stated in more than 1 place that mephistopheles (actually isnt this a caster class thing?) will betray you or attempt to do so. So the third bond line seems to imply that their attempts have been stopped by you and that’s what they say after some failed attempts. So after stopping this freak from doing some shit their next bond line is actually doing a confession! a jester being honest who couldve seen that one coming but theyre 100% not lying, they really arent a demon but a homunculi made by faust

speaking of faust we’re going to backtrack a little into their interlude that i brought up at the start of this post, its one of those dream interludes and it starts with mephy asking you to help him plant bombs for their eventual reuinion/showdown with faust -- in the meantime faust keeps sending golems in an attempt to kill both you and mephy

When you track faust down, it’s shown that faust was your typical mage, inhumane and uncaring. It’s also pointed out that this faust killed innocents, but this typical mage behavior is boring to mephy, and they say that boring typical behavior is why they wanted to kill them

 so i really cant blame mephistopheles for being the way they are, being raised by this type of guy, even if mephy was always messed up and wacky from the beginning its no reason for faust to attempt to kill him.

Mephistopheles also shows up in salem, cu alter’s interlude, and of course the knk crossover event, and some other things im most likely forgetting but those 3 are ones that i find notable

anytime they show up theyre actually helpful, in salem mephy points out that the nature of the being responsible for the salem epic of remnant is something alien rather than a typical foreign god, mephy also tells you that time is also being sped up and in their weird way they try to cheer you up by spouting some nonsense at the beginning (guda needed some kind of distraction from the grim events that had just transpired at that point in the story), i cant quite remember what mephy did in the knk event but they were a part of your group and were helpful the whole time, actually @/zeravmeta does an amazing analysis of their role in the knk event as well as some extra character analysis here

mephistopheles is kinda cryptic in a weird way though,

like overall i mean theyre a jester homunculi in appearance so yeah its to be expected but come on i love morally gray characters, despite their supposed betrayal hints scattered around here and there

they have this one line that always gets to me

and this line is said with a completely serious face too

the rare serious mephistopheles face! its kinda grim to see that line, no laughs, no nothing, their voice is kinda serious and monotone too. of course this could be just to get you to lower your guard but its still kinda out there that they have this rarely used portrait and that line, so i like to take it as being said to you when youre by yourself and with sincerity

and at least sei (with her wacky outfit and all lol) seems to get along with mephy and thinks theyre nice woohoo

so at the end of the day you have this guy that laughs a lot and gives mixed signals

and they fuck with you

and will most likely try to kill you more than once but hey thats just another tuesday at chaldea

Before I finish last thing I want to point out is this snippet from the fgo source material book which provides more information on servants, and this specific translated bit under mephistopheles

at the core of it all this homunculi....can be your friend! you just need to not go into despair i guess

of course this entire post is an overanalysis into an underwritten character, quarantine + all online college classes have done this to me, i have a douman icon what did you expect

OH...BEFORE I REALLY SIGN OFF AND FINISH THE POST HEY CLOWN LOVERS CHECK OUT THESE FANARTS AND FANARTISTS...

THE FIRST ONE IS HASENDOW YES THE DOUMAN DESIGNER... <3

i cant believe they drew mephy

twice !

and for those of you on twitter check out @cuz_pb and @L0VEYAMA003

#mephistopheles #fgo #i just go off on the various things i like about this clown #a whole lot lol #this started bc someone asked about my thoughts on mephistopheles well..

[avengedbiologist]

Thunderbird Headcanons

Thunderbird headcanons I just kinda forgot to post.

Scott

Not a single brain cell.

Like 6’1”

Is like really not down with the kids as much as he thinks he is.

Fully believes he is cool.

Writes a letter to his Mum every year and just puts it in a drawer.

Did have a mullet at one point.

Dimples and some moles.

Hates strawberries.

He really loves pies (not made by grandma though)

Good hugs.

He was rebellious as a kid, still got good grades at school but skived a lot and smoked probably.

Wears double denim.

Close to all his brothers due to him helping his dad raise them.

Especially close to Alan as he was only 8 when their dad went missing and kind of hand to become a parental figure in his dad's place.

Wears crocs and socks.

If he needs support will go to Virgil or John, but since he feels comfort in physical contact he tends to go to Virgil.

Full on had grey hairs at 25 from taking over IR.

Really likes porridge.

Reads/watches something for an hour before bed, unless the rescue literally causes him to pass out as soon as he gets on the bed.

Favourite tic tac flavour is lime and orange.

Really bad with spice.

Not allergic to bees

Virgil

Mans built, a good mix of both muscle and fat, bulking him out more than his brothers.

Was a bug kid, used to draw them all the time, he still remembers bug facts.

Really interested in scarab beetles

Moles on face as well as scar near eyebrow.

Like 5’9”-5’10”

Probably could lift the sofa with one hand if given the chance.

Can easily pick up Scott and John at the same time.

Usually the brother Gordon and Alan hang around or ask for emotional support.

Close with Gordon as he was the main brother who cared for Gordon after his accident due to his medical knowledge. Was around when Gordon had his breakdowns and Virgil knows a lot of Gordon's fears or insecurities, he knows most of his brothers insecurities as well, and always checks up on them if they are faced with something that could bring up their insecurities.

Virgil covers up alot, he can be quite insecure about his body, it fully depends on the day, if there is a day where he is more confident with his body and shows more skin, his brothers make sure not to comment on it as that can throw him off and make him insecure again.

Best hugs ever.

Can bake okay, can kind of cook, nothing too hard.

Has his own soup recipe that tends to be used when one of his brothers is ill.

Gay.

Close with all his brothers but tends to end up hanging around Gordon and Alan.

Is allergic to ibuprofen and aspirin

Sarcastic humour.

Full on had a crush on Kip Harris and Tycho reeves.

Can fill a sketchbook in a week.

Landscapes and figures are his favourite things to draw.

Has a birthmark on his palm

John

Tall an lanky.

Good at gymnastics.

Light freckles all over face.

Very close to Alan due to their shared love of space.

John used to teach Alan about space when they were younger, and used Alan as an audience (as well as Jeff) for when he had to practice for a presentation.

Like 6’1”

He had a punk phase when he was a teen.

Has severe hay fever.

Social anxiety isn't good with crowds, unless one of his brothers is with him, they help distract him from the crowds. Alan usually does space talk. Scott and Virgil tend to talk to him about mechanics and coding, usually asking John to babble about it. Gordon usually makes jokes or asks him about what he did that day, half the time Gordon doesn't understand what he's talking about but he's respectful and listens.

Does not like physical contact as much, he will hug his brothers but he has to be in the right mood, his brothers always seem to know when he is in the right mood.

Always hugs Alan and Gordon though.

Tends to keep a level head but if someone were to hurt one of his brothers he would get angry.

Was a generally quiet kid.

Was good at getting a baby/toddler Alan to stop crying.

Has a mole behind his ear.

Gordon

Little, like 5’6” to 5’8”.

Big shoulder from all that butterfly swimming.

Jokes about a lot, not only because he is funny but he is insecure, he hates seeing family so sad, it reminds him of when he was in his accident.

Is actually kind of insecure about his body, he has a lot of scars from accidents and from being in WASP.

He is shaped like a dorito and has little body fat.

Bisexual

Massive crush on Penelope, eventually asks her out and they hang out as much as they can, which isn't much since they both have very busy lives.

Has a mullet.

Also wears crocs and socks but does it better than Scott.

Is a mess.

Military lad but if you didn't know him you would not be able to tell.

Suffers from depression but again you wouldn't be able to tell, he hides it well.

Nothing but bright clothes in his wardrobe.

At one point he did have a crush on buddy.

He did have a good relationship with Jeff but from ages 14-16 they just didn't get on, Gordon just seemed to get on Jeff's nerves a lot and also seemed to just keep making the wrong decisions. This all got better when Gordon talked about going to work with WASP. Too bad Jeff never got to see him there since the accident happened before Gordon started.

Gordon naturally feels relieved when Jeff comes back, they start again and so far they are getting on well.

Is actually a really good cook.

If not swimming or on a mission he will spend the day cooking if given the chance.

Likes veg more than fruit.

Catch him munching on a carrot whilst listening to the info on the mission.

Always has tic-tacs in his pockets, both suit and civvies.

Really good with spice and heat, he survived eating a carolina reaper pepper.

Knows how to do the hoedown throwdown.

Knows origami.

Alan

Was only 1 when his mum died, he blames himself sometimes due to him being the one his mum was trying to save in the avalanche. [All versions]

Pansexual [All versions]

Never had a good bond with his family until he was 14 and the hood attacks, sure he liked them and they cared for him they just never gelled as well. Despite this he is close with John. John was the main one to actually listen to him and actually let him speak through his issues and John never judges him [04].

He has a boyfriend who he meets at whartons, they meet before the hoods attack and get close whilst Alans in recovery via video calls and when Alans is allowed back into school they start dating. [04]

Freckles :)

Is very little, between 5’4” and 5’7” depending on the version.

When Jeff comes back Alan is iffy around him, Jeff manages to get back in to the father figure role quickly but Alan hasn't seen Jeff for years and has forgot a lot about him, Alan naturally goes to Scott with any issues, isn't used to Jeff being around. It takes a few months for him and Jeff to actually bond properly by themselves.

Has a prosthetic leg, the story behind it depends on the version, 04, his leg was severely injured after falling and catching his leg on the moving mole during his fight with the hood in the bank. In TAG it's a situation of explosion in space that nearly kills him. (Sometimes this is a thing sometimes it's not idk)

Has a bed full of stuffed animals.

His room is filled with rocket posters and models.

Has a shelf that's just the rockets in mission order.

Loves the mercury 7.

Alan's baking ability is making those cookies that you just add like milk into.

Used to copy Gordon a lot.

Still copies him sometimes, like him keeping sweets in his pockets at all times and sometimes copies his reactions in conversations cause he zones out a lot

Will tear up if someone shouts at him, usually he hides it and when alone he lets it out. His brothers know this and will usually try to prevent the shouting from happening.

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #Scott Tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #alan tracy #thunderbirds au #thunderbirds headcanons

[fight-me-wyatt]

Finn Wolfhard ~ Mistletoe ~ part one

Request/Prompt: Nope. Just a special since its Finns birthday on the 23rd and Christmas on the 25th. 

Ship:  Finn Wolfhard x fem!reader 

Summary: (for part one) Finn and the reader are childhood friends but kinda drifted apart. Finn invites her over for his birthday/Christmas party with all his cast mates. 

Type: Fluff! 

Warning: Only warning would be swearing, I think. 

 Word count: 2356 (including A/Ns) 

Hope you enjoy it. Let me know! I'm going to be doing something a little different for this, and I'm going to post each day for them on the actual day (New Zealand time), so it'll be split into 5 parts. If that makes sense. Hope you guys don't mind me doing it this way! Tbh im not sure if ill be able to write it all in time, but might as well give it a shot!

Gif credit goes to @shitposting-tozier

2 1 s t   D e c e m b e r . 

Y/N POV 

"Y/N pleeeeeaaassseeee" the muffled voice of Finn Wolfhard begged through the phone, "everyone's dying to meet you!" 

 I sighed and plopped down on the couch, spinning so I was upside down with my legs over the top and my hair brushing the ground. 

I loved talking to Finn and hearing his voice, but right now I was ready to end the call. 

"I don't know Finn... They're probably just saying that for your sake." I mumbled, staring at the world from an upside down point-of-view. 

Finn groaned through the phone and I rolled my eyes at his over-dramatising. It was cute, but extremely annoying. 

"Pretty please, Y/N?! I really want you there, I feel like I haven't seen you in ages! It'll just be like when we were younger and had family Christmas parties." He offered, trying to get me to come. 

He wanted me to agree to go to a Birthday/Christmas party he was having with all his cast mates and stuff. And as someone from his past, not really his present; I wasn't very keen to go. 

 Our families used to live next door, so Finn and I grew up together. We were best friends and we did everything together. Every year we had a massive neighbourhood Christmas party. But since the Wolfhards moved away, and with Finns acting, it got harder and harder trying to catch up. We kind of drifted apart, despite both of our efforts. 

I sighed, closing my eyes. 

The more we talked, the harder it was to say goodbye. The more I saw him, the harder it was to deny my feelings. 

"I don't know Finn. You'll be fine without me, you've got all your new friends there. I really wouldn't fit in. I'd be the only non-Cast mate. It would just be me sitting in a corner while everyone else has fun. I appreciate the offer, dude, but it's a no." I said softly, chewing my lip anxiously just thinking about the situation.

The more time I spent with him, the more likely it was for him to find out. 

On the other side of the phone there was quiet. Maybe he had finally given up? 

"Y/N/N, I wouldn't want to be there without you. You're my oldest and bestest friend, and I want to introduce you to my other friends so that all of my friends can be friends! I know for a fact you'd fit in. Josh will be there as well, so you won't be the only non-cast member! And if you end up sitting in a corner, I'll come sit with you. But, I guess, if you really don't want to go and it'd just going to make you uncomfortable, you don't have to come...." Finn said reassuringly. 

I pondered for a long moment, thinking through my options. 

Surely I could manage an hour or so... Just for Finn.. And he was right, we hasn't seen each other in ages, and I missed him so much. It was only one night, right? It wouldn't be that hard to act like the me that he knows, the one that was completely and utterly his platonic best friend... Right? 

"Fine. But only for you, asshole." I sighed. 

I heard a loud cheer from the phone, and laughed. 

Shit. What have I gotten myself into. 

"You weren't gonna give me the option to not go were you?" I asked, knowing the answer. 

"Nope. I was gonna keep bugging you." Finn said in a very happy voice. 

I simply laughed and wrote down the details of the party, not really listening. 

23rd. Finns house. Sleepover. Ugly Christmas sweater. 

"Okay, see you later, Finn" I said, wanting to get off the phone before ten minutes turned into two hours. 

"See ya, Y/N/N!" He responded. 

We hung up and I sighed, slowly sliding off the couch like a snake. My heart was pounding even from just hearing his voice.

I was screwed royally. 

Finns POV 

I put my phone down, letting out a sigh. I lean my head back against the couch and smile. 

It wasn't a great execution, but I got the intended end result, so that's all that matters. I sat up and opened my eyes to see the boys grinning at me expectantly.

I rolled my eyes and nodded, sending them up into cheers. Nic and Wyatt both slapped my back in congratulation and Jaeden wiped away a fake tear. 

"Guys, it's not that big of a deal." I groaned, running my hands through my messy hair. 

I mean, it was a big deal, but I wasn't going to tell them that. I had to act normal. Might as well get some practice in at it before Y/N came over for the party. 

Chosen scoffed and looked at me with raised eyebrows. 

"Dude, you've been spending all morning freaking out and writing a script for what to say to her, just to invite her to your party, despite knowing each other since forever." He teased. 

"And when you finally actually called her you couldn't stop blushing, and stammering and biting your lip." Dustin piped up. 

"Oh, and when she agreed to come you cheered as if you won a gold medal at the Olympics." Caleb said nudging me. 

I could feel my face heat up but I just rolled my eyes. 

"Whatever" I muttered sheepishly, glad that they had finished attacking me. 

Sophia walked in then, having gone shopping with my mom for some 'much needed girl time'. 

She looked at all the boys surrounding me, the blush on my face and the phone beside me, and quickly realised what was happening. 

"Oh, and don't forget about how he never shut up about her on set." She teased, one hand on her hip, the other holding a Starbucks coffee. 

 I groaned and buried my face in my hands as they all went around the circle, saying something I had said or done that gave it away. 

Everyone except Millie and Sadie added something in, and that was only because they hadn't arrived yet. 

Soon, Josh was telling them stories about times I had made an idiot of myself in front of her, since the three of us used to spend a lot of time together. 

Eventually, when my face was as red as a fire truck, I spoke up. 

"Okay. Fine. You got me. I have massive fucking crush on my best friend, Y/N, but there's no point. She only likes me as a friend, barely even that I think. Besides, I don't want to ruin the friendship, so please don't mention it to her?" I sighed, giving up. 

Jaeden rolled his eyes, but nodded. "Took you long enough to admit it, dumbass." He said grinning. 

"And we won't tell her. Yet. We have to actually meet her first and see if she's right for you, then we'll think about telling her." Jeremy grinned, winking. 

Sophia plopped down onto a spare chair, sighing. 

"I just can't wait to be the only girl. I mean there's gonna be three other girls here. That's like three more than I'm used to" Sophia grinned, changing the subject, thank god. 

 "Speaking of, when does Millie and Sadies plane arrive? I wonder how their holiday was..." Noah asked, checking his watch. 

"9pm tonight," I replied nodding, looking at my own watch. 

It was only mom and I that went to pick up the girls, since we wouldn't all fit in a car, and needed space for their luggage. 

It gave me a good opportunity to think. 

How was I gonna greet Y/N? Should I play it cool? Or act like I used to when my feelings were purely platonic? Or should I go out on a limb and flirt with her? 

I decided on acting. I was good at acting, I could do that easy. Just act like I didn't get butterflies whenever I see or hear her, act as if the way she would grin at me expectantly after telling a shifty joke, didn't effect me at all. Act like I didn't care whether or not she noticed me. Act as if she didn't make me feel weak in the knees or make my heart flutter whenever she looked at me with her gorgeous eyes.... Act like I didn't want to kiss her on those cute lips of hers that seemed to draw my eyes in like a magnet. Easy. 

I sighed deeply, wiping my face with my hand as if this would wipe away my thoughts. 

My mom looked at me concerned, before turning her attention back to the road. 

"Are you okay, honey? That was a big sigh. Do you still want to have the party? It's not too late to cancel." She said, her voice thick with concern and love. 

I shook my head simply. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. I still want to have the party, it's just..." I trailed off weakly. 

 "It's just, what? You can tell me, Finn, it's okay." She prompted. 

"It's just that I have this... This crush.. On this girl whose coming to the party, and I don't know how to act around her. I really, really like her, mom, but I don't want to ruin our friendship." I sighed, letting it all out. 

It felt good to vent. 

Mom smiled, quickly glancing at me. 

"And this girl, are we going to pick her up right now?" She asked, curiosity getting the better of her. 

"No, mom." I glared at her. 

She nodded, slowly. 

“That Sophia is a very nice girl, Finn, and I think-" 

"It's not Sophia either." I mumbled, cutting her off. 

She gasped, her eyes widening. 

"You like Y/N! Oh, Finny! Aw, wait until I tell Y/M/N! We've been waiting for this since you were just kids!" She squealed uncharacteristically like a schoolgirl. 

My eyes widened in alarm. 

"Mom! No! Both Y/N and her mom are not finding out about this! And that's really weird." 

 She simply shrugged, and reached over to ruffle my hair. 

"Okay, Finny. I just think you two would be adorable together." 

I rolled my eyes and slumped into the seat of the car, wanting to melt into it. 

"Honey, just know that if your friendship is important enough to the both of you, even if she doesn't share the same feelings about you, as you do for her, your friendship will stay the same. It might be awkward at first, but she's not worth it if she can't keep the lifelong friendship you guys have, just because of a crush." Mom said calmly and reassuringly, smiling at me gently, "but something tells me that you guys will figure it all out." 

I nodded, smiling softly, hoping what she said was true. 

 Millie and Sadie both fell asleep in the car on the way home. 

The reunion between me and them must've taken up what little energy they had left after a long flight from London, where they had flown to from Mexico. 

 Millie and Sadie had run to meet us, and engulfed me and then my mom in a big hug each. 

When Millie gave me a hug, she whispered in my ear, "I can't wait to meet her." 

I had groaned, responding, "they told you already?" 

She had laughed and nodded, "texted me just as the plane landed." 

When Sadie had given me a hug that seemed to have way too much strength from someone her size, she whispered, "Sounds like you're head over heels from what I've heard, Finn." 

Unable to stop the blush, I just laughed nervously. 

She grinned at me before going over to give my mom a hug. 

“Thank you so much for letting us stay with you, Mrs. Wolfhard." I only just heard the girls say. 

I was too busy caught up in my own thoughts. 

Slowly, I walked to the car behind the others. 

Everyone, apart from Y/N -hopefully-, knew that I was crushing on her, hard. Would someone let it slip that I liked her? Or, more likely, would they hint at it very heavily until she caught on? Would she, then, laugh at me with everyone about how stupid I was? Would she- 

"Finn!" Mom said loudly and I snapped out of my thoughts. 

"Hmm?" 

"We're at the the car, sweetie." 

She gestured to the car, the girls in the backseat, giggling. 

I smiled sheepishly. 

"Oh, yeah, right, sorry." I said and jumped in the passenger seat. 

"Daydreaming about someone were we, Finny?" Millie teased as Sadie made kissy faces beside her, teasing me. 

I rolled my eyes and pulled the finger at them before focusing ahead. 

When we reached home, everyone else was asleep. I guess all of the reunions were going to be tomorrow morning. 

I showed the girls their bedroom where Sophia was already sound asleep and said goodnight, before retreating to my own room. 

I almost stepped on a snoring Jeremy, and Chosen muttered in his sleep, worrying me that I had woken him up. 

I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. 

There's part one! How was it? Good enough to make you want to read part two, hopefully! Let me know how I can improve etc!

#Tommy writes #christmas #finn wolfhards birthday #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard x reader #finn wolfhard fanfiction #finn wolfhard imagine #finn wolfhard fluff #it 2017 cast #it 2017 imagine #writing #it 2017 #it 2017 fandom #it 2017 fanfiction #it cast imagine #it cast #richie tozier #richie tozier fanfiction #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier fluff #richie tozier imagine #the losers club #stranger things #stranger things imagines #stranger things cast #mike wheeler #mike wheeler x reader #mike wheeler fanfiction #mike wheeler fluff #mike wheeler imagine

[fantroll-purgatory]

Lycosa Robess - College Student Communist

@chaoticevilfantrolls

I’ve been considering making her a purpleblood, rather than a tealblood. I’d love some ideas for tying that into her re-design, if possible!

Reading her profile, I’m definitely interested in making her a purpleblood. So I’ll absolutely address that as we continue! I think linking her back to teal a little bit may be reasonable, though, given the setting.

Planet: Alternia, AU where she plays SBURB and as well as the age of being shipped of planet is 10 sweeps. Also, caste traits can be mixed up thanks to linked traits and genetic weirdness (like with Vapula).

Name:Lycosa Robess - Lycosa: From Lycosa tarantula, the animal originally known as the common tarantula. Ties into her lusus, horns, and just about everything else relating to bugs in her theme. 

- Robess: From Maximilien Robespierre, one of the most prominent figures of the French Revolution. Connects to her ‘revolution for the sake of it’ ideology, as well as her typing quirk (As the two numbers she replaces are also part of the year of the beginning of the French Revolution).

Oh man… I used to be a bit of a French Revolution nerd. I adore this connection to her revolution for the sake of it ideology. Robespierre was a really chaotic man who was willing to go to some incredible extremes. Nice link!

Age:Typically between 8-10.

Strife Specibus:chainKind. Her iconic weapon is a Kusarigama with a hammer on one end and a sickle on the other. 

I See Your Joke And I Love It. 

Fetch Modus: Hive Modus. All items are stored within a hexagonal grid, forming rings around a core item. Only items on the current outermost row can be accessed, and each row needs to be completed before items can be added to the next layer. She picked up this modus when she was still really in her bugs phase, which she kind of regrets now that she’s going for a cool hip college communist aesthetic.

Just inconvenient enough to be fun. I also like that even though it harkens back to her old bug interest, it’s also a modus based around the structure of a communal species, making it still count for a reasonable communism reference.

Blood color: Currently Teal, though I’m thinking about making her a purpleblood (maybe a defector from the cult? Especially because her rebellious nature is taken to an idealistic extreme- she doesn’t have a moral end goal, she just wants things to change.)

I do think that a purpleblood defector is a great thing to do. It ties into her theme of a desire for change and development to have her rebel against a structure like that. And even if we change her, we can still link her back to this tealblood root a little bit. See, a desire to change Can be her moral center. Her view of right and wrong can be ‘anything goes as long as it is in the name of change.’ She can have a judicial nucleus built around the conception that change is the ultimate right. 

Symbol and meaning: It kinda looks like a bug? I don’t necessarily want to go with an extended zodiac sign, because her symbol is technically from the same family as Vapula’s. Maybe a small adjustment to match the teal sign language would be good, if not changing the symbol to something else entirely (if she ends up as a purpleblood).

Oh yeah, I’ll definitely give her a custom sign. It fits teal sign language well enough that I might leave it mostly untouched even when I change her to a purple.

Trolltag: malcontentMarionette  - Malcontent: Someone who is displeased with their current situation

- Marionette: I feel this would tie in well to making her a purpleblood? She ends up as a sort of puppet, controlled by the violetblood in her session and becoming the leader of his consort army. Additionally, a marionette would tie into the inherent circus theme of most purplebloods, and her status as a mind player (controlling choices in some form).

Oooh I love this… It expresses her original feeling of being malcontented with the state of things and feeling like a puppet of her institution while also acting as foreshadowing for her story… And if she’s a purple, it Does indicate the general clown theme as Well as the chucklevoodoos. And if we do make her a time player (I’m on the fence there… Maybe. Mayhaps), it’s a good reference to that too.

Quirk: Actually has two different quirks, although they’re not used simultaneously.

Originally, she typed in all caps, replacing b with 8 and t with 7, representing insect eyes and mandibles. She would use horizontal emoticons with two sets of eyes (oOwOo) to represent a jumping spider’s face. She also wouldn’t use much ending punctuation, instead sticking to commas to denote pacing.

“MM: 7HE QUICK 8ROWN FOX JUMPED OVER 7HE LAZY DOG oOwOo”

As time goes on, her quirk becomes much more ‘refined’, cut back to proper syntax and grammar, with a distinct lack of emoticons. She maintains the symbol replacements out of some deep, in-borne spite, but that’s about all.

“MM: 7he quick 8rown fox jumped over 7he lazy dog.”

I like it a lot!

Special Abilities:Nothing in particular as a tealblood. As a purpleblood I’ve considered giving her chucklevoodoos that incite feelings of outrage, overconfidence, and anger, which can cause riots and rebellion. Additionally, being able to manifest insects (ala Gamzee creating Lil’ Cal, on a much lower level).

That’d be pretty neat, because chucklevoodoos are said to be a way for purples to keep the lowbloods in check/keep them in line. Her abilities having the direct opposite impact could be good… Maybe her abilities naturally started as an ability that influenced individuals to cause infighting, inducing rage against companions and manifesting visions of insects to get people to swat at each other and exacerbate fights? But she’s been actively teaching herself to move away from that ability because she does not want to be a tool of the system or a tool of control. Of course she could then try to utilize it as a power for unifying feelings of anger and giving it motivational direction. 

Lusus: A jumping spider the size of a kitten at most. A sweet, gentle lusus whom Lycosa most definitely doted on when she was younger. Her lusus will knit you sweaters out of web silk. 

Oh I love… If we make her a purple, we could just shift that to a sea spider probably. The silk’s still fine. Make some fishing nets out of that silk, little cute spider.

Personality: Lycosa, as a person, is fundamentally unhappy and ill-at-ease, banking on rebellion and change for the hell of it to fill some sort of thing that she can’t seem to place. She doesn’t care about the morality of the change she’s advocating for, as long as it happens, and as long as it soothes whatever emotional turmoil that is bubbling inside of her. 

She tends to let herself get swept away on flights of emotional fancy, elaborate stories of ‘what if’ that eventually become ‘it will’. Her belief that she can find all of the answers to her disillusionment in the form of others, or in the form of external relationships is one of those things. She ends up clinging far too much to a fellow player in her session, who uses her fancy to manipulate her into becoming his second-in-command, and an essential puppet under his control. 

She also tends to hold back any signs of her old interests, and any traits she has that others might not like. When the violetblood in her session expresses distaste in her interest in insects, she drops any signs of interest besides the most minimal, retaining only her quirk in some subconscious spite, justifying the lack of change as simply matching his.

A big part of her story line is learning to cope with her general malcontent with life in a way that doesn’t involve deep-throating molotovs for revolution, or clinging to the first person who offers her some sense of stability no matter how much they’re using her for their own gain. 

The relationship clinging is another of those little teal traits that I really like shining through in her. Picking someone that is bad for her and committing too powerfully to him… With the added purpleblooded fun of the dedication. 

I definitely love her. I love her a lot. She’s a very detailed and thorough character with a lot of story growth potential. She has a wonderful character arc here… And she has so many aspects that she’s throwing around that you can develop her in a million directions… 

Interests: Lycosa’s interests are few and rather simple, often shoved to the side in favor of mimicking whatever interests her current lover or friend happens to possess. 

She spent most of her youth obsessed with bugs, from their physiology to their behavior. She knows how to manage just about any insect, from wasps to butterflies to mosquitos, and she has a deep fondness in her heart for arachnids as well. She can draw detailed drawings of them from memory (which ends up becoming relevant at a point in her quest), 

Lycosa also has a deep and involved interest in illegal histories and recovering the names of banished and excised revolutionaries, recovering propaganda, symbols, and techniques they used to further their causes. Not out of any legitimate desire to bring those ideals to fruition, but because they’re a personal aesthetic and something to devote herself to. 

Lycosa has a secondary interest in improvised weaponry and field first aid, which she learned as part of her research into revolutionary tactics. 

God these are good interests… You’re great at picking a theme and sticking to it STRONGLY. Just to tie into that last bit, you should include interest in guerrilla warfare tactics, laying traps, Disarming traps… Just a little additional information that she could brag about having for theoretical revolutionary purposes.

Title: Her session already has a Void, Doom, Life, and Light player, so unfortunately those are off the table. I’ve been leaning towards Rogue or Thief of Mind or Heart, though. 

Rogue of Mind might work for her over-abundance of options, which she has difficulty coping with. Thief of Heart would better show how she takes parts of herself from others, mirroring them more than showing much of herself in a relationship.

Okay… I’m definitely struggling to make a decision here. Right now I’m between Mind, Heart, Rage, and TIME. 

Rogue of Mind works for sure. She needs to learn redistribute and allocate all of those choices, needs to learn to balance them out and move them around. To find the right decision among all the crap. And also to take back her own mind, her own free will, her own actions. She’d be able to redistribute logical thought and action. Her inverse is Knight of Heart, which would mean she could actively utilize the strength of her personal will, her emotions… 

If she were a heart player, I’d argue she’s a Page of Heart. She’s someone who has a weak identity. She cares so much about her aesthetic and what others think of her and moving herself to their whim instead of being capable of defining her own identity and having her own self confidence. This would leave her in a really malleable and endangered position. She would have to break out of this mold and reach her potential and figure out her identity and confidence in order to start utilizing her power, her soul, to its full capacity. With the inverse Thief of Mind, she’d also be able to steal back the right to action for herself, steal the options and activities while utilizing the strength of her will… 

Rage references strongly her malcontent and her firm desire for a little chaos, a little mess, a lack of care for whether something is right or wrong and just a strict need for MOVEMENT. If I were to recommend this I’d probably say Prince of Rage? Someone who is actively destroyed by all this pessimism and this need for everything to be torn down, but who is then able to learn to use this to destroy the systems around her… 

And time of course discusses her struggle, her want for social development. But it would also challenge her to engage in active struggle instead of passively accepting things as they come and taking a backseat goal. It would make her need to find a goal to focus on and strive towards it instead of vaguely aesthetically aligning herself with real struggles. I’d probably recommend Page of Time here for the reasons I detailed in the heart segment… 

God but it’s really hard to pick. She has so many possible routes… I think I’d personally recommend Page of Heart, but it’s really up to you to decide.

Land: Land of Streetlights and Discord

I almost joked about changing it to Land of Lit Streets and Discord so the acronym would be LOLSAD. But that feels a little rude. I might actually recommend something that implies control/a search of identity more? Maybe Land of Streetlights and Nevron. Nevron is the greek word for string and harkens back to the word for puppet, nevróspastos. It literally means “muscle” as well as sinew/tendon/string, which is a nice reference to the heart if you go with the heart title.

Dream Planet: Derse

Very suiting, especially considering her tendency to hide her interests because of what others think.

Now design fun!:

Hair: Because I moved her to a purple I decided to make her hair a little bit wackier. Not too much, but just a couple more flips and bits. 

Horns: I gave her some longer horns. I didn’t really see a reason for her to have two sets since she doesn’t have much link back to goldbloods? So I created a sprite with just one set and a sprite with two sets for your selection convenience. 

Glasses: I just edited them a bit darker because they looked awkward at that middling shade. 

Eyes: I changed them to purple, obviously. On the right side I also gave her a little facepaint? I knew she’s defected from the cult but it still does at some rebellious visual interest. And it hints casually back to her old insect interest. I additionally added some bags under her eyes because she is exhausted. 

Shirt: I changed her jacket to a lighter shade to provide contrast because of some of my other changes. I also lightened her outline on her shirt. 

Symbol: I decided to mostly keep it the same. I deleted like a single pixel between the two connecting lines to make a set of four open arc. It matches the teal sign language more than the purple, but I think it’s still at least tangentially similar enough to purple visually to be acceptable. 

Pants: I know that fashion is considered an object of consumerism and a lot of communist rhetoric frowns upon it, so I kept the rest of her outfit really simple. But I wanted to use some level of patterns on her clothes, since she’s a purple. So I used the Iconic Communist Yellow Star.

Shoes: Just edited to purple and given some laces.

I love her! Thanks for sharing.

-CD

#chaoticevilfantrolls #lycosa robess #lycosa #robess #tealblood #purpleblood #review #redesign #cd review #submission

[groundswallowmewholw]

His Name Is... Pt 3

For part one click ♥here♥

For part two click ♥here♥

And if you have any feedback (positive or constructive criticism - not trolling lol) or you want to ask me a question (I’ll go by M. for internet purposes...) leave me an ask!

Part three: Chicken Soup for the Loner Soul

Auntie Sara’s new house was massive. She lived in a rural area outside of a larger city. There was this beautiful snowy garden and field behind it in full view from the living room window. I’d overheard my Mom speaking to her over the phone once; it seemed like Sara and Ellis were eventually going to get married and have children, but they wanted to expand their architecture and interior design business a little further first. It seemed like the perfect place for a family. It all looked very idyllic, especially with Christmas decorations everywhere. She gave us a tour, showing Jonas and I our own private rooms in the basement. The third of the basement guest rooms would host one of the guests from Ellis’ side of the family. My parents were given a room on the upper level.

“Where’s Ellis?” my Dad asked, probably wanting to catch up and have some beers with him.

“He’s just finishing up a Sunday brunch with a client, and then he’s picking up his nephew from the airport, west of the city,” my Aunt answered.

I felt butterflies in my stomach. That nephew was Ambrose.

“I take it Beautiful Homes inc. is doing well?”

“Yes. Pretty soon, we’ll have to hire some more help just to keep up. Caleb, maybe you’d like to intern for us one summer? We could surely use your artistic talents on our team.”

The compliment embarrassed me. “That sounds great,” I said, feeling self-consciously because I was probably smiling too much.

My mom called for me from the kitchen. “Caleb, Honey, you’ve barely had a bite all day, you need to eat something!” She had a point. I’d pretty much forgotten to eat all day. “I’m going to make you some chicken and rice soup.”

“Okay…” I said. Not that I’d have much of a choice.

“How’s your stomach feeling?”

“Better,” I said.

“Are you still having diarrhea?’

“Mom...” I quietly pleaded. It was a valid question because of my situation, but the word made me cringe.

“Come here” she pulled me into a hug. “You don’t need to be embarrassed. We’re all family here and we just want to help you, because we love you.”

I secretly needed that. I just hoped the very personal family conversations didn’t include letting Ambrose in on the nitty gritty details.

While my mom made soup, and her younger sister made pasta for the rest of the group, I went downstairs to use the bathroom and have a hot shower, to loosen my tense muscles and ease some of the milder cramping, now that my guts were starting to settle down. It was also an opportunity to work away some of the tension in little Caleb, eager to greet Ambrose, who’d surely be joining us later that afternoon. I got into more comfortable clothes, wearing a gray T-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants. 

I went up to the main floor where my Aunt, my Mom and my brother were setting up the dinner table.

“Will you be joining us?” Auntie Sara asked me, smiling warmly.

I nodded.

“Could you go grab the napkins from the counter, sweetheart?” My mother asked.

On my way to do the task, catching sight of the entrance, I heard the front door click and the knob turn. Ellis, walked in followed by Ambrose, who seemed to make time stand still as he gracefully carried his duffle bag into the house. I felt my stomach clench.

“Hi, Caleb,” Ellis greeted.

“Hey,” I said awkwardly.

“Caleb, long time no see,” Ambrose greeted casually, voice soft but deep. Deeper than I remembered.

I barely choked out a ‘yeah,’ and he gave me a friendly hug, and smelled lightly of a spicy aftershave and like winter air. His hand was slightly cool from the winter air and sent goosebumps all over. 

I was shocked he remembered my name.

I needed to distance myself before I would do or say something embarrassing, so I returned to the napkins, folding them and setting them at the table, trying to think of that time I saw our great grandmother naked on vacation to help little Caleb stay calm. It only made me flush further.

As I set up the napkins, my Mom noticed I was tense.

“Are you alright, Caleb?”

“Mhmm,” I answered.

“Did you remember to take another dose of your cramp medicine, Honey?”

“Yes…”

I looked around. Thankfully Ambrose was still getting settled downstairs.

When we eventually all settled at the table, Ambrose sat across from me, a look of curiosity on his face as everyone had a generous plate of penne with meat sauce doused in Parmesan with buttery garlic bread and Caesar salad. Meanwhile, I had a small bowl of soup with a few rice crackers on the side .

“Are you feeling under the weather?” He asked, looking concerned. 

“I… uh… I can’t have wheat or dairy…” I admitted, avoiding his gaze by being focused on the soup.

“Oh,” he said. “Okay.” He seemed to accept the explanation easily.

I felt my stomach clench as I broached the proverbial tip of the embarrassing chronic illness iceberg. I’d barely been around Ambrose five seconds and I was already a giant dork.

At least I would have the fantasy, I guess.

After dinner, I excused myself to get some air.  I wandered out to a gazebo where there was a wood bench to sit on. It was a way for me to have a private moment to recover from the social exhaustion of being in a confined space with my family for three hours. It was also a good opportunity for me to pass some gas that was really hurting me.

“Hey, Caleb.”

“...Ambrose, I didn’t see you there.”

“Would you mind if I vaped?”

“Go for it,” I said. I moved aside so Ambrose could sit next to me. He pulled his vape pen from his coat pocket, and puckered his lips around it, closing his eyes in relief as he sucked in the fruity smelling vapour inside.

“I know that I shouldn’t,” he confessed. “I quit cigarettes a couple months ago… and I try not to smoke up anymore, because I need to bring my grades up. But I’m having a day, you know? My father is away in China on business. I started at a new boarding school this year. It’s just a tough… it’s been a tough few months. Uncle Ellis is basically the only family I have left. If he weren’t decent, I don’t know what I’d do for Christmas.”

“I’m sorry…” was all I could seem to answer. It seemed so petty to feel sorry for myself and my stomach problems when I had such a supportive family.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you all of my shit…” he said, coughing a bit and chuckling.

“It all sounds… really stressful. Probably really healthy for you to not let that fester inside of you.”

He smiled. “You’re right. I feel better already.”

I felt myself smile back. Then butterflies or… stomach pain. Painful bubbles. I closed my eyes for a moment. 

“I empathize with you, Ambrose. If it wasn’t awkward enough that I skipped eighth grade, I also changed schools this year, I can’t seem to… make friends. As pathetic as that sounds. I don’t think I have anything in common with ...anyone. My brother is pretty popular. He had no trouble. I’m a shy dork.”

“It’s too bad we didn’t transfer to the same school. I feel like we would’ve been friends.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. I think you’re cool.”

“You don’t have to lie to me,” I chuckled.

“I mean it, Caleb. You’re an amazing artist. I follow your Instagram. Your drawings are great.”

I hadn’t even thought he knew I existed. “Thanks,” I said timidly.

“With a friend like you maybe I wouldn’t have dated my ex at all. Would’ve saved me some time if a good friend would have talked sense into me. Not like my father is there to give me guidance…I sound so bitter. I’m talking too much.”

Had I had the balls to do it, I’d ask ‘boyfriend? Girlfriend?’ I didn’t dare ask.

“No you aren’t. I don’t mind.” I really didn’t.

He looked down at my hands tucked into the pockets of my coat. I guess I wasn’t so subtle about my stomach.

“Are you okay?”

“Yup,” I answered unconvincingly.

“Okay…” he said incredulously, chuckling. “Don’t tell me then,” he said, pouting his lip, feigning hurt feelings.

“I didn’t think you cared so much,” I said, half teasing him, half nervously.

He looked me right in the eye, tucked his shoulder length loose curl brown locks behind his ear, let what felt like 2 eternities but was actually 2 seconds of silence pass, and plainly said “maybe I do.” Then his lips quivered into a half smile. I bit my lip trying not to laugh and looked ahead.

Had he just flirted with me?

“Ambrose, there are parts of me that are starting to get cold, in ways parts should never be cold,” I said, vaguely alluding to my testicles. Ambrose let out a snorting laugh. “I’m going back inside.”

As I started heading towards the house, I felt something crumbly and cold hit my back. When a turned a snowball hit my face, and once I adjusted my glasses, I could see Ambrose’s self satisfied shit eating grin beaming right at me. We kept throwing snowballs at each other as I closed the gap between us, and he sometimes ducked behind that gazebo bench, culminating into a wrestling match in the snow. When we’d had enough, we sat there panting, snow in places snow shouldn’t be, and noticed Auntie Sara in the window, holding her phone up and filming the moment, laughing when we’d realized.

#mm romance #sickfic #sickfic saga #embarassing #hurt/comfort #ibs

[sow-ay]

I received many private messages from people asking for help because they didn’t know how to talk about their mental health issues to their friends or families. I’m not good at giving advice but from my experience, hearing other people’s stories gives a lot of courage, makes me feel understood and less alone. I’m so glad to help people with a simple story or drawings. I apparently saved lives! I’m so proud of that, I can’t quite believe it.

I thought I could share my full story with you like I did with some. That’s incredibly scary to share. I’m so scared to imagine my friends or old coworkers reading this but I guess helping people is more important.

I’ve never really known what was wrong with me, so I drew a character who had the same issues. He was not happy with his life, felt lonely all the time, had no self-esteem (like -967272074%), loved music way more than he loved himself, and was often biting his nails until his fingers were bleeding. You know this character if you’re following me.

At that time, I was refused by every art school. Some even told me my drawings were useless. I was 18 and already felt like I had failed my life so drawing was not enough to make me feel better. I was not enough. Not enough to be accepted in art school. Not enough for anything.

I think music woke me up. I remember being alone, listening to music with my headphones, in a large space, with people and students walking around. I was drawing my character. He was depressed and I heard, “Best, you’ve gotta be the best” in my ears. That was “Butterflies and Hurricanes” by Muse. (I cried when I heard it live.) That was 6-7 years ago.

I texted a friend about all those things in my head. Let’s call her Satan. She followed everything from the first doubts to the day I could finally put a name on it. She will probably read this and I’m glad she exists. (She’ll probably cry while reading this line and I’m not even sorry.) For me, depression was for weak people at this time. It was only in their heads. And I simply couldn’t understand how a human being could think about ending their life. (Damn, this is really getting serious and even more scary for me..)

My head was still messed up, and I was having more and more insomnia. It got gradually worse and worse. I think my other friends knew I had sleep issues but only knew that at the time. My “solution” was to keep my mind busy by working and over-working on personal projects even if it felt pointless. I HAD to stay busy to avoid this little voice in my head that was constantly telling me I was not enough. I felt like I was ALWAYS lacking energy and motivation even if I was over-working. I had some really depressive nights that just ended with me thinking, “What’s the point of living?”  That’s how I understood how someone could think about suicide.

The insomnia was getting worse and the anxiety seemed inhuman but I didn’t know what that was, so I only talked about the insomnia or the physical symptoms caused by anxiety to my doctor. I had huge chest pain and was convinced it was cancer or that I would have a heart attack. I always wait until I can no longer go on to finally dare going to the doctor. “But you’re so young, you’re not even 20.” In my head that was, “Oh my god, am I that fucked up !!?? I’m so weak. I suck. I hate myself.”

I had some sleeping pills (that didn’t work) and I kept working and creating stuff all the time. I wanted to get better, so I could make a living off of my work, so I did tons of things. Until I burnt out.

It’s “funny” because I knew I was getting off limits. I kept working and working because I stupidly thought that would make my mind quieter. I was tired all the time, I couldn’t sleep, had no energy and didn’t know why I was doing all of this. It felt pointless.

I started a new band with my friends (another project again!) because I thought music could save me (and it did help a lot, that’s the best thing I’ve done in this mental battle). I needed something to keep me sane. Day at work (I had a full time-work at this time), evening staying busy on personal projects or making my stuff ready for the weekends I spent at art shows or conventions.

Those shows ended up being huge failures so that didn’t help mentally at all.

I suddenly realized I could no longer go on like this when I had a huge panic attack during a concert in 2016. (The Last Shadow Puppets. It was amazing, by the way. The bromance between Miles and Alex is at a tumblr level.) At the time, I didn’t know what a panic attack was. I just felt like I was dying, or at least thought I was going to pass out. I spent the following days hugely depressed, panicked, and had no motivation and energy at all. It was worse than anything I’ve ever felt before. Like music was no longer safe for me. Music had always helped. Knowing I had a show coming always made me happy. But this show destroyed everything. I had 4 other shows in the following months. But I just couldn’t.

I again ended up thinking, “What’s the point ? Why should I keep living ?” like during many depressive episodes. But this time it was really stronger. And it really wasn’t a good time for this (can there be a good time for this?). Getting back to work after that panic attack simply felt IMPOSSIBLE. Going to my friend’s birthday on the saturday also seemed impossible. It was invisible and had to remain invisible. I was scared to have another panic attack or to suddenly fall apart in front of my friends, and they couldn’t see that I’m broken.

It was so strong that I texted Satan. I needed her to know. Then I told my mom I maybe had depression. I always need my Satan ’s support for this. I always need to feel reassured about everything I do. Before publishing this I had to ask her.

Then came the saturday and my friend’s birthday. It was just a drink in a bar, but I was so “sick” (I still thought it was just me that was not enough and not that I was sick) that I texted the 2 organizers to explain to them the madness that was going on and that I might not find the strength to come.

Like every time, I showed up. For my friends. To not disappoint them. I felt so off, I can’t tell what happened. I just stayed for the drink and left before the evening because that was already too much. I remember that a friend hugged me before I left and not crying at this moment was super hard.

The following day, I explained everything to all the friends that were there in a message (I again needed to be supported by Satan before that). Because imagining what they could think of me, all those stories I was making in my head were killing me.

At the moment I pressed “enter”, I instantly wanted to disappear. “OMG, I DID IT. They’ll read it and hate me. I suck. I want to die. I hate myself. Will they answer?”

And they were super understanding! What a relief! WOAH! After that, I felt better about publishing my drawings online, because I was no longer scared for my friends to find it.

I stopped working on all my personal projects and spent all my time out of work in bed haunted by a mental ghost, thinking I couldn’t get back to work on the following day or on Monday. I spent the beautiful summer weekends watching the sky at my window from my bed. I was so messed up.

With time, I talked about it with more friends, like my band mates. To explain to them that I was freaking out before a concert or a rehearsal. I even dared refusing to play a gig because of the panic. Saying no was the hardest thing ever.

Not everyone was cool about that. I kept hearing, “It’s in your head” and that’s far from being over.

Since the concert that changed everything, I had some other huge panic attacks. Those panic attacks made me scared to go out. It was stronger than my usual generalized and social anxiety. I usually ended up at the doctor trying to explain this and had many blood tests. As these were really physical symptoms, they didn’t immediately think it was a mental illness. I was paranoid. Like, “Oh my god, I’m gonna die. Maybe it's cancer.”

The worst attack I had was during one of my art show openings. I spent half of the evening throwing up, had huge vertigo, couldn’t see clearly and even had huge tinnitus. It felt like I was out of reality. People were here but far away. I couldn’t hear or see them clearly. I really thought I was going to die or pass out and people couldn’t see me like that. I ended up texting Satan from the toilets. I had to leave earlier and I hated myself so much. My projects and artworks were betraying and abandoning me, like music after THE concert.

This time, I accepted the work leave my doctor was telling me to take for months.

It’s been 6 months. I still have huge depressive episodes. I took a Netflix account. I spent months not being able to get out because of panic disorder. I drew when I had thoughts I needed to get out of my head. Some folks apparently liked it and I ended up on the Huffington Post and many other websites in over 7-8 languages. Many people told me their stories. I always answered. I apparently saved lives. Saved Christmas’ lonely night for someone. How can I help people when I cannot even help myself?

Today, I was too tired to leave my bed. That happens. But my biggest fear these days is to get better. I’ve never really known how it feels and I’m so scared of it. What if I relapse? I don’t want to no longer feel like myself, don’t want to lose my creativity. Getting back to work simply feels impossible. I just can’t. And I still hate myself so much. (If you can see some mistakes, I’m sorry, English is not my first language)

(I wrote this in 2017 so maybe I’ll update it later)

#depression #insomnia #anxiety #mental health #mental illness #panic disorder #art #artists on tumblr #hope #suicide #suicidal

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Morose Mononokean 3 – 13 (FINAL) | Nanbaka 19 | ACCA 5...and anime from 2016, ranked.

(Morose Mononokean ep 3)

LOL, the kaomoji scroll.

Hopefully your handwriting won’t be illegible, Fusshi.

The Japanese place a lot of emphasis on independence, hence th errand running comment.

It’s so threatening to get pointed at with a stick.

I didn’t quite get the “five years again?” joke, but the jokes were going pretty rapid fire there. I might’ve just missed one and that’s OK. *shrugs*

Technically Ashiya lied when he said “you don’t have to believe me” because she believed him in the end…kinda sorta…?

Oh, to grandstand means to be showy. I don’t think I solidified that into my brain until just then.

Are those weeds or onions?

…Oops, not onions at all. Close enough (since they’re blub plants), though.

Where’s your dad, Ashiya?

Zenko’s not crying, you’re crying, I’m crying. Everyone’s crying!

…Oh, that’s the punchline of the joke…but Abeno’s scary when he’s really angry.

(ep 4)

I think even lil’ Fuzzy nods in the OP near the end.

The d and b thumbs are very inventive in regards to kaomoji. I like inventiveness.

Exhibit A of how Comic Sans ruins a mood, CR subbers.

So that’s Abeno’s writing (and not Comic Sans)?

Ashiya and Abeno have really creepy eyes on the eyecatch.

Shizuku means “water droplet” IIRC.

Ashiya, Super Sentai!...or something like that.

The Fuzzy Ashiya knows has 3 tails. This one only has one.

Ashiya, getting coerced into deals he can’t handle. *sigh*

(ep 5)

Fuzzy’s basically a Pokémon now.

What happened to Abeno’s jar?

Where I am, there’s three arms to the government: the legislative arm, the judicial arm and the executive arm. This show must run off a lot of the same principles.

Fuzzy seems vaguely unimpressed when Ashiya learns he doesn’t have to die.

How is that communicating with a fuzzball? Sad life for Abeno-san.

The sad thing about Abeno is that he’s very grumpy. While that does make him basically a male tsundere, his grumpiness isn’t something everyone can live with. Rippou (Legislator) included.

(ep 6)

The Ring? Like a horror movie? (This is the last of the Mononokean episodes I’ve seen before, so it’s not a horror movie, but I had to make the joke while I was at it.)

Fuzzy looks like an offering to the ancestors there on that cushion.

The Mononokean went “If you’d followed my instructions [yada yada yada] but…” Note the “but” – that wasn’t in the translation.

Where does Abeno sleep?

Fuzzy wrapped up is like a fuzzy sushi roll. I wouldn’t like to eat a fuzzy sushi roll, though.

Edo = old Tokyo…so are all Edoites (or whatever you call them) meant to be non-honorific users?

Manjiro must’ve been easy to draw if this were in the source material. However, since this is obviously a CGI Manjiro, it must’ve been easier to animate than, say, Fuzzy. (Apparently fur is hard to get right in CGI.)

“15 whole minutes”…hardly anything impressive…LOL.

Ashiya will never give you up, he’ll never let you down, he’ll never run around and desert you…

Even Fuzzy’s sweating up a storm just thinking about how to return the ring.

Ow. Getting headbutted by an eel is not the way to go.

The salve on Fuzzy looked like a box for a frame or two.

The irony of an eel shop with an eel youkai…

(ep 7)

It’s fresh impressions from here on out.

Butterflies don’t fly like that…

Since middle school is years 7 – 9…okay…Ashiya is that childish? *laughs awkwardly*

I just realised this show doesn’t do flashbacks very well.

I saw a grave in the back that said “Abe Family Grave”. It’s not the kanji for Abeno, though.

Don’t be so proud of your status as a hide and seek veteran, Ashiya.

“Yoko” is the word for a fox spirit. it’s why, in Tactics, the fox spirit is called Youko. Even I knew that much and Ashiya didn’t, LOL.

Oh right! Abeno calls Fuzzy “hairball”.

Abeno is 15?! I’m absolutely positively flipping out!...Abeno and Ashiya look like they’re 17!

(ep 8)

I thought something was up with the subs. Turns out “Haruitsuki” was spelt wrong.

Remember “–sama” is of more respect than “–san”.

I think Mr Chips from Eldlive was like this critter. Gets drunk on green tea.

Tsundere flying green youkai. That’s probably better than an annoying, possibly tsundere fairy (<- reference to One Wish They Never Wanted).

Benkei? I’ve never heard anyone yell “Benkei!” when they stubbed their toe. I get that it’s Standing Benkei though.

Aww. Even if it’s a youkai proposal, it’s so sweet…

(ep 9)

How do you spell “dispirited”? Two Ss? One?

Dangit, Ashiya would do well in job interviews…

The eyecatches always look unnecessarily dramatic, don’t they?

Does Abeno’s question about amateurs include Ashiya?

Abeno must’ve gotten a “Don’t come near my daughter again!” sort of thing a lot.

Fuzzy’s body went “boomph!” when he jumped on to Ashiya’s shoulder.

Fuzzy absolutely fails at rolling on balls, LOL.

(ep 10)

Why did I think of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” when it came to large!Yahiko?

The title of this episode is “deku”, like Boku no Hero Academia Deku.

Rakugan.

How did the eyecatch manage to put shojo sparkles on Nobou and turn him into something that’s vaguely appealing (in a handsome sense)? It must be the magic of the shojo sparkles…Also, henohenomoheji scarecrow.

“Phantasmagoria” aka “fantasy” or “illusion”.

Wow, basically this show is an ethics lesson…

Who knew a mutant scarecrow could cause such a heartfelt story? Also, please stop hitting yourself with a potato.

(ep 11)

I don’t think I’ve seen the character for “purple” being read as shi before.

Stop using Fuzzy as a shield for your words, Ashiya.

Fuzzy jumped on to Zenko’s head. It’s kinda funny to see Fuzzy acting like a Swablu.

Fuzzy with a leaf hat is aesthetically pleasing. It soothes the soul. (Uh, hey. Come to think of it, Mononokean’s a lot like the works I’ve done on Honeyfeed, eh? Light comedy and a lotta drama.)

I keep stumbling upon spoilers for shows I’m not caught up on, this show included. So I technically knew about Yahiko and never mentioned it, and I’m going “oh no” here because I know what will happen to Ashiya…

Tomori. That was the name from the spoilers…oh no!!!

Fuzzy looks particularly round in the eyecatch.

Apparently Ashiya began as a doodle in the margin of Kiri Wazawa’s sketchbook, but he became the protag of Morose Mononokean. That’s the ultimate upgrade in life for a character, eh?

Abeno’s logic…I get it, but I guess it was played for hilarity. Well, it worked. Really well.

A 9-11. I thought it was funny at first, but now it’s scary and solemn.

Simultaneous equations? I want nothing to do with them anymore.

Come to think of it, Aoi may have been a woman due to the woman’s cloak.

(ep 12)

Oh? A sister? I’ve haven’t seen her in the show yet. I wanna see her.

One of the lil’ pine cones is sleeping. It’s strangely adorable.

(ep 13)

Yahiko’s so spoilt by Zenko.

*squints at Ashiya’s book* Oh hey. I haven’t done this in years! Yeah, that sort of stuff is “first year of high school” stuff, but speaking from experience as an advanced maths student, I have a skewed perspective of what “normal maths” is for a year level. Add that to the fact Japan has the idea that they have to push their geniuses to the limit by being ahead of their years (sometimes going up to one year ahead of the “usual” standard) and…yeah.

From the lip reading, the word could’ve been tera (Buddhist temple) or jinja (Shinto shrine). Knowing how Zenko is built off the ideas of Buddhism anyway, it’s tera.

Well, out of sight, out of mind, as they say.

Abeno looks like such a bad boy in that eyecatch, it’s hilarious.

Seriously, how does Nobou talk with no mouth?!

I thought the hand was Yahiko. Turns out it was Abeno.

Fuzzy looks downright ill when Ashiya’s scared.

A boss normally doesn’t bow his head to his subordinates, let alone call them “lord” (dono), which is the highest type of honorific one can give to a person.

See, the kaomoji scroll really is fun. If someone could make one for me, I’d love to play with it for a little bit. Maybe you could make a (computer?) program that could function mostly the same way…huh. That’s a good idea, actually.

Notice the Mononokean uses “watashi”. I guess it doesn’t have much of a gender anyway.

Nice hat, Ashiya. (LOL.)

Welp, that’s the final episode of all my 2016 anime. I moved the top 10 anime of 2016 to the bottom of this post for the surprise factor, but knowing my reactions to the anime means you can’t be too surprised by the results.

(Nanbaka 19)

Honey’s still on arrow mode.

The scream. It’s like a horror movie, but so funny because it overlays the OP.

The sparkles actually helped viewers see something for once.

Rokuriki. So that’s the guard’s name. It has “six” in it.

Deer hook swords. I’m not quite familiar with them but they look cool.

I only just realised, but they left Nico behind in the supervisor’s office.

The rubble is so beautifully rendered.

What was Jyugo doing behind the pots? Something for humour, I suppose, because I laughed.

“Hachiman” can mean 80000.

Kawaisouni… translates to “unfortunate” or “how unfortunate” but I probably wouldn’t peg it as “poor baby!” like the subbers did. It’s probably the tone Uno used that caused them to sub it the way they did.

Here we go again with this Jyugo comeback from episode 1…

It’s around the part where Upa’s trash talking Hachiman that you can identify Upa’s VA is Yuu Kobayashi (SGRS’s Konatsu’s VA). Even Nico is voiced by a dude and yet Upa is not.

(ACCA 5)

Seriously, this blue haired guy (Magie) reminds me of Japan from Hetalia. Must be the haircut.

How does a guy not remember toast? Probably because this is of Japanese origin, where rice and fish are more common than bread.

I still think his name should be Gene Otus.

CGI fits flawlessly into this style, and if you’ve been around these parts long enough, you know I don’t like obvious CGI.

Dowa Travel.

Hotel Akevitt. They have some weird names in this show.

Reindeer…? I’m not very good at identifying deer vs reindeer.

I heard you like wheat bread, so I put some wheat bread in ACCA to keep you happy, Jean. (insert more memes about wheat bread here)

Lotta really likes walnuts, eh?

Crow/Nino’s a free agent hired by Grossular, right?

Ah. I get it. Lotta’ll keep an eye on Nino for Jean.

Isn’t a sandpiper a bird?

Oh. So that’s why Grossular has such long hair.

Lilium’s bro? Gotta remember him for later.

Grossular’s an older Kyosuke Kuga, LOL.

 Anime of 2016, Ranked

Since I have 17 entries this year and it took a lot of shuffling to get right, I’ve decided to show my entire 2016 rankings. Only shows I saw in their entirety at least once over in 2016 (with the exceptions of D Gray Man Hallow and Morose Mononokean, which are applicable through the simulcast commentary process but were only watched to episode 6 before 2016′s end, and fall anime, which due to being AFK at 2016′s end were unfinshable until 2017), and had at least one new seasonal entry in 2016, apply:

17. Prince of Stride Alternative

16. Mr Osomatsu s2

15. D Gray Man Hallow

14. Kiznaiver

13. Morose Mononokean

12. Nanbaka s1: can’t talk about this yet because its s2’s not finished!

11. Classicaloid s1: can’t talk about this yet because it′s not finished!

10. Flip Flappers: The art style and fight scenes really make this a show worth watching. However, it did get somewhat confusing at the end so that’s where most of the drop in the rankings comes from.

9. ReLIFE: While the themes were pertinent and the art style on point, it was a bit plain and there wasn’t much of an explanation as to why the pills work (even if that isn’t Yoake or An’s role). I guess I’m still used to it living in the shadow of Detective Conan, after all.

8. Boueibu s2: This was a step up from s1, but unfortunately there were prime contenders this year that knocked it out of higher places. Also the fact that it does seem more rushed than s1 due to the time constraints does give it a bit of a toll.

7. Bungou Stray Dogs (overall): 2 seasons makes this show stand out as a strong one, especially near the end when it really hits its stride. The fact light novel stories took up up to 4 episodes did make me worried, but the fans definitely have more than enough material to work with as a result, right?

6. Yuri on Ice: I don’t mind the off model in this one if it means the good stuff can come with it, but the fandom is quite intimidating and it was a “show of the year” in ways some people now consider to be a negative thing, so it did suffer a bit from that. I give it merit for the things it does well, but it’s not the saviour of anime the talk of the town can make it out to be.

5. Boku Dake ga Inai Machi: Stunning visuals, a Sayuri ED and good thrills with well executed cliffhangers. My only gripe with this one was the very end, but you’ll have to see the relevant posts for why that is.

4. Boku no Hero Academia s1: Even if it is repetitive, it rises above (Plus Ultra!) to become something more than just a fusion of East and West like I always try to strive for. It’s an emblem and it’s definitely something Horikoshi should be proud of after what happened to Barrage and Oumagadoki Zoo.

3. Sakamoto Desu Ga: This show also managed to go above its repetitive trappings with inventiveness and humour. The fact it’s also touching at exactly the right points shows you why Takamatsu is one of my favourite directors.

2. ConRevo s2: Colourful and politically striking as always, ConRevo was one of the shows I always looked forward to watching, even if it meant staying up past midnight to document things on the wiki. Even if I’m not that fond of the Urobuchi episode, this show managed to reach awesome highs without losing the fans it got from s1.

1. SGRS: With a soundtrack that brings you to the past, humour that can make you laugh no matter how many times you watch it and visuals to wow even the most serious of artists, you can tell SGRS is a labour of love in every aspect. Its second season has already surpassed its predecessor in only 4 or 5 episodes, so...only time will tell whether anything can challenge SGRS for the throne.

 Total:

winter 4

spring 5 (incl. Bungou Stray Dogs s1)

summer 4

fall 5 (incl. Bungou Stray Dogs s2)

#simulcast commentary #anime #winter 2016 anime #spring 2016 anime #summer 2016 anime #fall 2016 anime #2016 anime #ACCA #Chesarka watches ACCA #acca 13-ku kansatsu-ka #nanbaka #nanbaka the numbers #nanbaka - the numbers #Chesarka watches Nanbaka #the morose mononokean #fukigen na mononokean #Chesarka watches Fukigen na Mononokean

[recentanimenews]

Bookshelf Briefs 2/4/19

DIVE!!, Vol. 1 | By Eto Mori and Ruzuru Akashiba | Yen Press – Tomoki Sakai has loved diving since the second grade, when he was awed by the diving of another boy named Youichi Fujitani. Now, six years later, he and Youichi are both members of Mizuki Diving Club, which is in trouble as the new president of the sporting goods company that sponsors it is considering shutting it down. Enter their new coach, Kayoko Asaki, who hopes to keep the MDC open by sending one of its members to the Olympics. To this end, she starts training Tomoki hard since his natural flexibility gives him an advantage. So too does his work ethic, but this does little to soothe the wounded pride of his long-time teammates Ryou and Reiji, who think the coach is playing favorites and refuse to acknowledge that they’re slacking off in comparison to Tomoki. There’s not much else to say about DIVE!! at this point, but I’m intrigued. – Michelle Smith

I Want to Eat Your Pancreas: The Complete Manga Collection | By Yoru Sumino and Idumi Kirihara | Seven Seas – Out of all of the versions of I Want to Eat Your Pancreas, including Yoru Sumino’s original novel and its various film adaptations, it was the manga series that provided my introduction to the story. A touching friendship develops between two high school students—Sakura, who has a terminal illness she is hiding from everyone but her family, and an extremely introverted classmate who discovers her secret. The end of the story is known from the beginning, but I Want to Eat Your Pancreas takes a startling turn to get there. Even though it’s foreshadowed, initially it feels a little unfair, but that’s exactly the point and the characters have to come to terms with it, too. So far I’m unfamiliar with the other incarnations of I Want to Eat Your Pancreas and therefore can’t offer a comparison, but the manga adaptation is a pretty solid work on its own. – Ash Brown

I Want to Eat Your Pancreas: The Complete Manga Collection | By Yoru Sumino and Idumi Kirihara | Seven Seas – Shiga Haruki is an introverted kid who claims to have no interest in other people. Odd, then, that for the majority of the series he substitutes his own name with whatever he assumes other people are thinking about him. His outgoing classmate Yamauchi Sakura is intrigued, and when she comes upon Shiga reading the diary in which she has written about her terminal illness, she seizes the chance to get to know him. Gradually, she draws him out of his shell, and it’s really gratifying to see him start to display passionate emotion when he senses that her diagnosis has gotten worse. Knowing her changed him for the better. My one complaint is that, after a pretty random plot twist, the story just speeds along to the end. I might have to check out the original novel to see if the pace is any more leisurely. Definitely recommended. – Michelle Smith

Manga Plus | By Various Artists | Shueisha – I’ve never reviewed an app here before, but this is a biggie. Shueisha how has all of Shonen Jump out Sunday afternoon—yes, including the tiny “unlicensed” series—as well as selected Jump Plus and Square titles, such as Blue Exorcist. This is day/date with Japan (it really is—don’t make me explain it again). It allows you to see obscure series you’d never expect over here, like theatre nerd series Curtains Up, I’m Off. And you can see the latest popular Jump chapters too, and marvel at how freaking awesome (and strong!) Uraraka was in the latest Academia, or the snugglepiles in the new Neverland. This is basically the app all of us have been waiting for, and it’s free! Go read it now. – Sean Gaffney

Murcielago, Vol. 9 | By Yoshimurakana | Yen Press – The first third of this volume wraps up the previous arc, and does it pretty well. It also gives us even more hints that Hinako is some sort of experimental child a la A Certain Magical Index‘s darker volumes. The majority of the book, though, is much lighter in tone, with Kuroko and Chiyo’s relationship resolved much faster than I expected (Chiyo admits she sort of likes Kuroko when she’s being… well, Kuroko), and also a beach episode that then segues into giant robots that destroy the apartment complex! It’s very silly and filled with large-breasted women acting cool, which is two of the things that people read Murcielago for, and has a an over the top lesbian sex scene with Kuroko and Chiyo, which is another. Fun. – Sean Gaffney

Now Loading…! | By Mikan Uji | Seven Seas – This is a new yuri series from Seven Seas, and given it’s also the final volume you know not to expect too much. It’s cute. It’s basically New Game if they actually went in that direction explicitly. We see a game company with a bright-eyed newbie and a game designer with a tragic past… well, OK, it’s not tragic, it’s just “reality happens, this is Gametown.” Sakurazuki ends up kissing Takagi at the end of the first chapter, and the rest of the book shows how they slowly talk about how and why that happened and maneuver their way into being a couple. There’s also a beta couple of two other employees, which is cute. This will make you smile, but you’ll likely forget what happens in a day. – Sean Gaffney

Spirit Circle, Vol. 6 | By Satoshi Mizukami | Seven Seas – This final volume wraps up the Fortuna life, which is as terrible as possible, and then heads back to the present, where unfortunately Fortuna has hijacked Fuuta’s body. Things are not looking good for this not ending in death. But then a tragic prediction ends up going horribly… not tragic at all, and the day is saved by a butterfly net that the alien couple gave our heroes, which is a sentence that only makes sense if you’ve read this series. Kouko theoretically gives Fuuta a final kiss and then leaves him to Nono, but let’s face it, given those last wishes from Rune and East, we know what’s really going to happen. This was an awesome series, just the right length—just like the author’s prior series, in fact. – Sean Gaffney

The Voynich Hotel, Vol. 3 | By Douman Seiman | Seven Seas – The series continues to veer between terribly silly, terribly dark, and somewhat nauseating. There’s a sense of everything coming to a head here, and that’s the case, but honestly I was struck by how many more people survived than I was expecting. This is probably as close to a happy ending as The Voynich Hotel was going to get, and there’s potential in both the adventures of the now adult detective gang as well as Elena (who I keep thinking of as Maria because she looks just like Maria in Zetsubou-sensei) and Tarou ending up as a couple and opening up to one another. Not for the faint of heart, but if you like weird and heartwarming, this is a good series to check out. – Sean Gaffney

Yuri Is My Job!, Vol. 1 | By miman | Kodansha Comics – I’m very happy that Kodansha has begun licensing yuri titles (or, yuri-adjacent, at least), but I really wish they’d started with anything other than this. Hime Shiraki is a cute first-year high school student who has cultivated an angelic façade in order to snag a billionaire husband. But aside from her looks, she has nothing going for her, so when she’s manipulated into helping out at a café where the waitresses pretend to be prim and proper ladies from an all-girls private school, she proves largely incompetent. What’s worse (and supremely frustrating) is that she fails to comprehend that anyone other than her might be putting on an act, so when a coworker speaks harshly to her in private but gently in front of customers, she is utterly baffled. Honestly, it’s just bad. I liked no one and it was a chore to make it through a single volume. – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf