#(the funny thing being I don't think a lot would fundamentally have to change about the HBG gang in villain-coded)

[anonymouspuzzler]

you know what? fuck you (heartbreak gulch's my own guys)

(@heartbreakgulch courtesy of the inimitable @strangegutz & collaborators, also miscellaneous Thoughts under the cut bc it's my blog no one can stop me the doors have closed behind you)

HEARTBREAKER BULKHEAD:

Probably does not have superpowers anymore but still came from a family of considerable influence and was under pressure to inherit, pressure which he very much Broke Under.

Turned to a life of crime, definitely got in over his head with it, and essentially got rescued by Eddie, who he is Utterly Obsessed With And Heartsick For.

Has spent literal years as one of Eddie's attack dogs and generally jumping through hoops for him for Whatever Scraps Of Affection He Can Get, though he's still kind of squeamish around Literal Murder and thus tends to be assigned to supply runs and such most of the time.

Amateur mechanic and car enthusiast. Probably did a lot of McGyver-ass fixes around the Gulch-slash-generally assisted Ami til Davey was recruited.

Speaking of, was still the guy who recruited-slash-rescued Davey. They fell for each other hard and are in a committed relationship now, which has helped Buck take a little bit of a healthier step back with whatever the hell he and Eddie have going on (and helped him be a little less jealous and curmudgeonly about the Hot Young Things In Town, ie Zeki and Felix).

Absolutely not prepared to be a guardian to Minnie which has led his and Eddie's whole Relationship to enter a fun new stage of "hey man can I ask you for parenting advice nothing weird"

HEARTBREAKER DYNAMO:

Pretty similar backstory to the Villain-Coded version. Civilian turned criminal, lost his arm when he got in over his head on a job and Buck rescued him.

Has a bunch of different prosthetics he swaps out for different purposes, ie. one for combat, one to use for mechanic work, a kinda general use/everyday one, etc. That said, he goes without a lot to make sure he's prepared for a situation where he doesn't have access/one breaks or fails on a job/etc.

An alarmingly good recruit; I feel like originally Eddie kind of let him stick around as a kind of "gift" to Buck, but now that he's actually got him on jobs he's become a real rising star. Real good in a scrap and is a little more flexible with his moral lines in the sand compared to Buck. Outside of that he works with Ami a lot doing mechanics and repairs - probably interested in learning CompanDroid maintenance/repair but figures it'd be skeevy for him to push that point too much.

He and Eddie have a complicated relationship I think. They'd be kinda suspicious/distrusting of each other but also have a LOT of similarities and work really well together. To say nothing of their respective relationships with Buck.

I don't think he's Trying to Uncle the younger recruits in the Gulch but he definitely Does. He likes White a lot. He and Ami would also definitely get along really well. He is being The Bigger Man and Mature Adult and not giving Felix a wedgie no matter how badly he wants to

HEARTBREAKER(?) MINNIE:

From the same family of prominence as Buck and is currently very much on the run after a failed attempt to kill her own dad.

Extremely a city kid and is Not necessarily adapting well to Middle Of Nowhere Self Sustained Living.

Knew Of Buck but never met him before this so his whole Life and Little Criminal Commune featuring Multiple Guys He's Got SOMETHING Going On With is. it's a lot

Would like to do some crime actually but is A) still a little traumatized and adjusting to the whole Situation and B) 13 Whole Real Human Years Old.

Fascinated by Zeki's whole deal and his work but I think they would absolutely bring out the worst in each other they would fight so much. Autism to autism hostility

Having a very complicated response to White and Ami wherein she thinks they're SO cool but interacting with them at any length would make her realize Things About Herself that she's not consciously ready to confront so just like. Imagine being White and looking over your shoulder and that 13 year old is just Intensely Staring At You Unblinking from around a corner and as soon as she realizes you've seen her she turns around and runs off as fast as she can directly into a wall

Zarita absolutely hitting that Cool Just Slightly Older Kid niche for her.

#anonymous puzzler art #anonymous puzzler originals #villain coded comic #heartbreak gulch #strangegutz #long post #it's fun to put your Guys in a New Situation! love that!!! #fun and interesting to think ok what about you is inherent no matter the setting and what changes when your situation is different #(the funny thing being I don't think a lot would fundamentally have to change about the HBG gang in villain-coded) #(like sure why not we can have compandroids. we can have the criminal haven in the desert. that all makes sense.)

[outisgivingpac]

Pick-a-card: What kind of lover you are attracting?

Hello everyone, I'm back (kind of?) to deliver my first love reading ever! 👀🔥 This PAC will look into what kind of romantic (but also platonic) relationship you are inviting to your life with your current energy. Basically, we will see what personality traits you like about each other and what makes your relationship work. Be mindful that your energy changes over time, and with this collective reading, only take what resonates 🍀✨

If you want to book a personal reading with me, check out my pinned post. There you will also find the masterlist of all my free PAC! Enjoy~ 🌞

🐱Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐱

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 4 of Swords

First of all, the kind of lover you're attracting are drawn to you by your sharp wits, as well as your fierce and independent nature. Where others find your rough exterior difficult to deal with, this person finds charm and wisdom. They like how argumentive and opinionated you are, like you won't be afraid to speak up for the underdogs and can be real protective around your loved ones. In turn, you might like this person for their generous and forgiving nature. Though their ways of living might trigger your protective instinct at first, like how could someone be so comfortable laying their heart bare? What if someone take advantages of them?? (Lol) But soon enough, you will learn their kindness didn't come from naivety, but their rich life experiences; they are someone emotionally mature and capable to give and receive love from a healthy headspace. As someone who had to navigate through life with careful calculation and always on alert, you will grow to trust this person to mean what they say and be genuine with you throughout your relationship. Fundamentally, you both see each other as a sanctuary. You know the other got your back in the end of the day, and got to "recharge" just by spending time together. Platonic or romantic, this seems to be a wholesome connection that helps you stay grounded during turbulent time.

Pile 2: 4 of Cups reversed, Page of Swords, The Moon reversed

The first thing came up when I read your cards is how it feels like you guys meet/interact with each other in a highly specific environment. Meaning, you don't neccessarily have access to each other's personal life or have constant communication, but just expect to see each other at particular time and space. You could easily be classmate or colleagues, or are sharing a mutual friend. I hear some of you would refer to each other to a third person with a really specific nickname, for example "that guy who takes double expresso" or sth like that. You like this person because they're a social-butterfly with a lotta energy. They often poke fun with you and are fairly successful. On their side, they find you interesting, despite the first impression of you being quite standoffish. You managed to take them aback several times with some witty/funny remarks. They think you have a lot to offer, long as others put effort to help break the ice. This relationship seems to be of a casual and light-hearted nature. It sounds strange but, it just works when neither parties know where they are going, nor do they try too hard to stir the boat somewhere specific. It's the kind loose committal relationship that deepen slowly overtime, like the sediment at the bottom of a river.

Pile 3: 2 of Swords, Strength, Temperance reversed

The person you're attracting seems to be someone you would usually consider as "out of your league". Unlike you who always strike for a harmony in a group, this person has a strong and upfront personality, though I won't describe them as unkind or selfish. Quite the opposite, they are incredibly wise and have a big heart of an advocate. In your eyes, they have accomplished a lot of admirable goals with their talent second to their tenacity and hard work. Comparing to them, you might find yourself too indecisive and easily flustered to step out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, they see you as someone with many contradictions and complex inner world. In conversation with you, they can tell how you have many different interests and potentials, yet more often than not surrender your choices to the circumstances or other people. On the surface, it seems like a "I can fix them" kind of attraction, but at the same time I don't sense a strong desire to force themselves in your life from this person. In other words, they are not someone who would force others to change in order to match them. But they will wait and see if you will break out of the comfort zone, or from the harmony of "how things should be", with your own conviction. If anything, they want to be one of your conscious choice, not an convenient option due to the circumstances.

#tarot #tarot community #tarot reading #intuitive readings #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading

[cuubism]

Hello! What do you think would happen if the world ever found out the endless were real and one of them was dating an immortal peasant from the 14th century? I really want Hobs students to find out about this.

I think it would be funny if the world found out BECAUSE of Dreamling. Some guy who's pissed off with Dream (there are many) is like oh you wanna be funny, Dream Lord? Well I'm about to be hilarious. And is just like "hear ye, hear ye, some new asshole is blowing up his own life dating Dream of the Endless." And somehow this accidentally gets out to the whole world instead of just the supernatural community. (Would be hilarious to me if the whole supernatural community is invested in Dream's disastrous love life. They're watching like it's 90 Day Fiance, just waiting for the inevitable meltdown.) Dream would get shit for dating a human. Hob would get shit for dating Dream of all people.

They're a little concerned about Hob's sanity though. Supernatural creatures start coming up to Hob like BLINK TWICE IF YOU NEED HELP. they're holding his face between their hands like "hold still I need to make sure you're not spelled". Hob's like oh I'm of sound mind I assure you. They're like "that's patently untrue but good luck :)"

Later they all start to admire him because "only someone with incredible devotion could love Dream." They're a bit jealous actually. Dream is INCREDIBLY smug, even though it was probably Hob who initiated 95% of the first steps in their relationship.

Meanwhile, Hob's students are 500x more invested in their Prof's love life with "that weird goth" than in the fact that supernatural creatures that embody concepts are real. Hob's like "you've just learned that DEATH is a real person and you care more about whether I've put a ring on Dream's finger?" Students: WEDDING! WEDDING! WEDDING!

I do think it would cause a lot of problems though, for the Endless to be widely known. People would definitely be coming after them for boons and favors, it would be the Burgess situation x 1000. Some new religions might spring up around the Endless. Would people knowing that dreams are "real" (kinda) change the fundamental nature of dreaming? I think all their functions would get upended.

Meanwhile Hob's life would become a nightmare, being known as an immortal human? YIKES. All privacy or normalcy gone. He might have to fake his death and disappear to the Dreaming for a while.

Yeah to be honest I don't think the whole world knowing would end well for them at all. They'd be miserable, at least for a while. Dream has always performed his function in the shadows, and I think would hate being known everywhere. Hob's always liked being an ordinary person and wouldn't like that being wrenched away. Poor things :/

#this couldve been crack but i made it sad sorry #ask #anonymous #dreamling

[gwyns]

I remember a post by an E/riel pushing the theory of Elain being tied to Dusk Court and how she’s connected to the Prison. “Elain will restore the Prison/Dusk Court (with the help of Azriel)” “Elain will become High Lady/High Queen of Dusk”. They even said “Rhys said the Pegasuses hailed from the island the Prison is located on, and haven't been able to breed successfully ever since. If Elain restores the 8th court, that means more pegususes. So in conclusion... Give Elain a Pegasus” 🤡 ??? You know who is actually connected with Pegasus? Gwyn and the Valkyries.

I’m not trying to sound petty, but it’s like they’re trying to turn Elain into a warrior/Gwyn, when Elain isn’t one. I’m glad Elain isn’t a warrior. I like that she would rather garden and bake. I like warrior women, but I also like women who don’t want to wield a sword. Stop trying to make Elain something she’s not.

The same ones saying Elain will be High Lady/High Queen of Dusk Court with Azriel by her side were also the same ones that were fiercely defending that Elain belongs in the Night Court, because her sisters and friends are there. But now it’s different?😂🤡

After HOFAS was released I’ve seen E/riel’s do a lot of backtracking with their theories and now they’re trying to make Elain connected to Gwydion (and still believe Prison/Dusk is hers). Please, let Nesta have something of her own. It makes the most sense for Nesta to have Gwydion. She’s a warrior, has the eight-pointed star tattoo, is connected to the prison, and more connected to the Dread Trove. I think the Valkyries will rule over the Prison after reading a theory about it.

this is sooo funny lol they really do try and take everything from other characters and give it to elain when she already has her own things!!! she likes to garden and bake and has rare seer powers and is outright connected to the new main baddie and vassa through her visions!!!! all of that is cool as hell and they're still trying to find ways to make her more compatible with that bat. if you have to change the fundamentals of your supposed favorite character to make them work better with another character, maybe just maybe... and stay with me here... they're not that good of a match!!

oh silly anon (i swear i'm not trying to be patronizing i'm just trying to joke), don't you know that e/riels are always bullshitting their way through the fandom? one second elain should stay with her sisters, who clearly don't understand her on a deep level and who she doesn't have the best relationships with from what we've seen the past couple of book releases, but then the next she has to be the high lady of dusk! or the princess of the court of nightmares!! or the high queen!!! and all alongside azriel!!!!

i love when they backtrack, i can always get a good laugh out of it, they must have the memory of a goldfish. i fully agree with your last statement. the island the prison is on is for the valkyries, i believe that'll become their stronghold, and isn't it funny how truth teller's twin is in nesta, a valkyrie's, hands and she is also heavily connected to the prison? all this tells me personally is that az is likely the next mc and nesta will be at least somewhat involved in the plot

and guess what? if one valkyrie is involved, all of them will be. meaning gwynriel is looking more and more endgame every single day. i can see why they're upset 🥰

#hofas spoilers #cc3 spoilers #house of flame and shadow spoilers #crescent city spoilers #antielriel #anti e/riel #asks #anonymous

[sofoulandfairaday]

Since you did a James HC post, do you have any Lily headcanons?

Lilyyyy. Let's get right into it, sorry for the delay loves.

Kind. Incredibly kind. She would help a younger student in need, and always give friends and foes alike the benefit of the doubt. She wanted to see the good in people.

Part of her internal struggle, when she grew up, was grappling with the evils of the world. There are people who are truly evil, who want to see you hurt or dead just because of who you are. This painful realisation ultimately made her steely, stronger.

Short-tempered. She would get irritated, yell, even hex, very quickly, but it would also pass very quickly. She wasn't rancorous.

This is also why she didn't make peace with Severus even after he apologised. If she had just been angry about him calling her a Mudblood, she would have probably forgiven him. No, it was the realization, like we see in that scene outside the Fat Lady's portrait, that they had become fundamentally different people. They didn't share the same values, they didn't see the world in the same way.

And since she was a woman of principle, she couldn't accept being a Death Eater's “exception to the rule”.

She was popular but had few real friends. She didn't have the life-changing friendships James had (better yet, she did in Severus, but we all know how that went), so when they got together, his friends basically became her friends too.

She got on well with the Marauders, Remus most of all.

Still, I find it a bit sad (personally).

She probably had very cordial, even good relationships with the Gryffindor girls in her year, but it was the kind of friendship that dies down after school.

Good grades, but she also studied a lot. She wasn't naturally talented like Sirius or James, she earned every single success (and she had many, academically speaking).

Remus' study buddy in their last few years.

Very good at Potions, which was also her favourite subject. I think she would have grown up to work in the field if she had been given the chance.

Also a skilful duellist.

Idk if Hogwarts had a little student-run newspaper at the time, but if it did, Lily definitely wrote some very pro-Muggle articles in there. It got her more than some harassment from the Slytherins.

She grew up in a lower to middle-class background. She wasn't dirt poor like the Snapes were, but she wasn't by any means rich. She grew up with some of Petunia's hand-me-downs and listened to her parents' relief when they heard they wouldn't have to send her to university. This gave her an appreciation for money that James didn't have.

She wasn't superficial by any means, but as a teenage girl, it must have been wonderful to have a boy buy you gifts (even expensive ones for their age) and take you out on “fancy” dates.

Loved being a witch, used magic even for the most minuscule things, but was very proud of her Muggleborn heritage.

Had she lived, she would have loved Hermione. “Mudblood and proud of it!” is something I can see Lily saying.

Unlike Hermione, she wasn't a SJW-type. I don't see her as someone actively fighting for house-elf rights, for example. I can vividly picture a conversation between her and Hermione that goes a bit like some conversations between young feminist girls and their (still feminist) grandmothers when you try to explain intersectionality or something of the sort.

Bonded with Sirius over their shitty siblings.

James was her one and only boyfriend. She had crushes before, maybe even kissed a couple of guys, but she was one of those girls who just didn't have time for boys.

This being said, her crush on James Potter started way before seventh year. He was charming, popular, good with a snitch, funny. However, her dislike for him was absolutely genuine. She liked him but she would have never given him the time of day hadn't he changed.

She never hated Severus. Even years after they were no longer friends, the thought of him aroused more pain than anger. And I do think that, had she survived Voldemort's attack, she would have eventually forgiven him and patched things up with him (although it is my firm belief that things wouldn't have gone back to what they were).

Not even on her part. She wouldn't have fallen in love with him or anything, but he was one of the few things that was hers before it was her and James'. It was one of the things that connected her to her childhood, that sense of lost youth that we so often seek to find again when we grow up. No, had Lily lived, Severus wouldn't have seen her the way he did in canon. He was directly responsible for her death and spent his life crushed by that guilt. Whether you liked them romantically or platonically, being responsible for another person's murder shifts your whole world. If she had lived, he wouldn't have put her on a pedestal and she likely wouldn't have remained the most important person of his life even years after her death.

#asks #answered #hp headcanons #lily evans #james potter #severus snape #jily #marauders era

[graceful-not]

Uhh a response to @ccbcrazy 's video on Conya except it got too long and I put too much effort into it to just make it a reblog. So uh. VERY LONG rambling about why my feelings on Conya are complicated that somehow managed to have way too much Jay in it. why does he keep sneaking in here goddamnit.

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL YEAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! THE SILLIES EVER!!!! I love the way you organized the bullet points! Made everything very easy to follow (other than all the times the audio cut out RIP 💀) but. yeah . yeah them. they are sooooo. SO! UAUAUUA.

I agree with most of your points (and relate very very much w/ that bit about being ace and the Love At First Sight trope, though I'm aro and not ace), and ESPECIALLY with how Skybound handled everything (I could say so much about how much I hate despise the way they resolved Jaya in Skybound it's so icky I hate it I hate it I hate it I HATE IT), but I don't really have much to add to them, so I'll here are my random disjointed thoughts that sometimes and sometimes do not align with yours:

at some points, the emphasis on how it's something guilty and forbidden and how she "wants him but she can't have him", to quote that one Cole fangirl. It.. sat weirdly with me? As well as the phrasing of "the narrative wants him to be self-sacrificing", when talking about Cole on one of the slides. It feels weird to phrase it like that, as if the narrative is pushing him into that role rather than it being part of who he is, y'know? And the reason that the "yearning for what you know you can't have" aspect felt strange to me was that Cole putting friendship over his romantic relationships is a VERY significant thing about him for me. He values his friendships and family over any kind of romance, and would rather forfeit a potential romance than lose a friend, even if that friend hurt him. Which felt weird when the rest of the slideshow made it clear that you, like me, enjoy Conya because above all else, Cole loves Nya as a comrade and an equal. As a friend, before and even IF he loves her as anything else, which as you point out, isn't something we can definitively say about the other relationships (especially Jaya. I like it, I really do, and I'd say I think I like it more than Conya? but it's. it's VERY complicated and messy and they aren't really stable like. At All. for a while.)

And that part of Cole resonated with me a lot; the part that's perfectly fine not pursuing Nya because he doesn't NEED that connection like Jay does, because he's satisfied and content with where he is in their relationship now, after they both calm down and he realizes it isn't worth it, because it isn't even something he wants all THAT much. (The larger issue is that Jay was against him spending time with her at ALL, even as friends, because he was being possessive and insecure which is a whole host of other things-)

And actually? Y'know what? I'm gonna talk about Jay for a bit bc I feel like, though you did have a few slides on it and touch on it, you didn't really talk about how Jay is a very fundamental aspect of Conya's dynamic in-canon, as Nya's Yang and Cole's best friend (A title which he bestowes upon himself, I might add.) Jay is... Not Very Secure In His Relationships for the first few seasons. It stems from feeling inferior and weak compared to everyone else, which grows into clinginess and possessiveness for the ones that DO choose him, because he's afraid they'll leave, which in turn pushes them away because he's being Weird About It. He has this habit of... sorting those closest to him into neat little boxes that reassure him (Nya as his girlfriend who loves him and finds him funny and won't leave him and Cole as his best friend who's loyal and supportive and also won't ever leave him, and, as you'll note, he's the one that starts both of these, with asking Nya out and proclaiming Cole as his bestie during Skybound.) And when those people step out of those boxes, the change unsettles him, and he panics and doubles down on his tactics, sometimes even resorting to violence (which makes things worse and pushes them away more and... you get it. it's a whole cycle.) So.. Nya and Cole and their interactions are very defined by What Jay Will Let Them Do, for the first few seasons. What won't set him off, what is Good and Innocent and won't make him insecure. S1-7 Jay would NOT have let the hand nuzzle happen. But I believe S8-15 Jay WOULD. Because he's actually secure in his relationship with Nya and they trust each other, and he trusts Cole, etc. etc.

And I feel like them having an undercurrent of romantic tension kind of spits in the face of that?? I dunno. It makes the intention a little wobbly. I like the idea that it comes from a place of camaraderie, where platonic love can also be deep and intimate and layered, and not just repressed romantic feelings. Because the thought that either of them are just pining and never having that resolved makes me sad for all three of them :(.

But I DO like to think that Cole is a little bit madly in love with all of his friends in different ways (just like me fr..) and Nya's the one he latched onto back in S3 because she's a girl and heteronormativity. Cole has a lot of love in his heart ok and he cares about them very very much 🥹. And he loves and supports them and maybe he wants to kiss some or all of them but he can't do that so he's fine where he is. really he is. he's fine. HES FINE!!! he's okay when she puts a hand on his shoulder and he doesn't know how to express that he loves her so so so much and he missed her but not in the way that Jay loves her, in a different way, but he feels like it's just as important but Jay obviously didn't see it that way and he doesn't know if he does now, and how he loves them all different but so so strongly and how can she and Jay even make it so simple it's so EASY for them to wear the Yin/Yang relationship label it just FITS even though none of those relationships are alike how can the same label work when the love is obviously so different and he doesn't know if Nya even could understand that, understand how much his heart bursts with affection and fondness for her and the others, but she DOES she DOES get how you can love someone so much that there maybe aren't correct words for it, that's why Jay was the one to propose because she was just happy the way they were, and she's happy the way they are now and she's happy the way she and Cole are now except she can't be because they keep getting TORN APART and they can't ever really be happy because they're all always in danger ALL THE TIMe- sorry got carried away aha.

but yeah. And then Jay is there. and i can't let myself think Abt Conya too long because I get really sad about him. bc he's not LIKE THAT. He doesn't Get It like they (and I haha was it clear I am maybe projecting) do. The labels are comforting to him, rather than unneeded or even restricting in the way they could never encompass the full force of the feelings. They're like signifiers that the love is real, is there, is Official, which isn't something the others need because they already take the loving as a fact and a given, and Jay doesn't! He doubts his relationships and needs the reassurance of the labels, to be able to say, definitively, "This is my Yang, which means we love eachother romantically and complete eachother and are missing a piece without eachother and" (do you see where the problem is. The proposal scene was so cute but I think about his little rambly speech a little too much BUDDY WITH ANY OTHER PERSON ITD BE CUTE BUT WITH YOU AND YOUR TRACK RECORD ITS CONCERNING) But that also means that when the "rules" are broken he thinks it means the love is also broken because now the label has been dismantled and that's! NOT TRUE!!! AHH!!!!!!!! I truly think he would be cured if he made out with someone other than Nya (w/ her permission obv) for like ten seconds but he would literally never do that. but it would fix him I know this in my heart if Nya told him to go out and get some bitches he would be cured of All of His Complexes he would experience Enlightenment through the knowledge that he could do that and his relationship with Nya would still be valid and their feelings wouldn't change just because he did it and he would ALSO get to kiss someone about it. Literally win-win. Maybe it could even be Cole. this is how mudshock shippers stay winning.

And THATS always been my biggest issue with Conya. They never know what to do with Jay. Because if he found out Nya doesn't love him and is IN LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND he would literally never recover all of his self worth issues that he overcame down the fucking drain bitch!! because everything bad he thought about himself has been proven true! AND THE REASON HE ACTS LIKE THAT IN THE FIRST FEW SEASONS IS BC THATS EXACTLY WHAT HES TERRIFIED OF HAPPENING!! And because he's so insecure and also has so much amatonormativity entrenched within him because the rules and restrictions reassure him, he's diametrically opposed to Conya! so I can't let myself have a Conya AU without Jay unpacking all of that and being Okay with people experiencing love differently, and then maybe realizing he doesn't have to love so restrictively anymore either, and THEN Conya can be whatever the fuck is going on with them in peace. Or he finds out Nya is in love with Cole and almost loses his shit before they both tell him they are also still in love with him. And he's like "oh thank God wait Cole ur in love with me" and that would fix him. Imagine thinking you're literally the worst and then you pull both Nya AND Cole while actively being kind of a jerk to them. how do you have the self worth issues after that shdbsjdb.

anyway go watch the video 👍

#ninjago #conya #jaya #mudshock #cole brookstone #nya jiang #nya smith #jay walker #the reason i dont talk a lot about Nya's POV is because it would be mostly about Skybound and that wasnt really relevant to anything else I #was talking about here. but i have sooo many thoughts about Nya and skybound and how she views relationships and commitment so. #if people want a part 2 to this weird rambly post?? #bruiseshipping #←technically #tldr of this entire post is uhh. Aro Cole real??? Conya QPR real???? idk man #mudshockshipping

[queen-susans-revenge]

Why (And Why Not) To Have Kids

So as I've been moving to a different stage of parenthood--my three being all in double digits now--I've been kind of looking back on the whole mad scrum of raising babies and thinking about why exactly it seems worth it to me.

It was worth it, but also it was fucking hard. I wasn't prepared going in; I'm not sure anyone is. Maybe if you grow up in a big extended family taking your turn doing the bouncy walk with a fussy baby almost every day; and if you've got family around who will take the baby from you, in turn. Then maybe it wouldn't turn your whole life upside down and fundamentally remake your brain and sense of self.

But for most of us in these atomized times, parenthood changes everything. It takes away all your time and all your self-determination and all your money, too. It drives you to the brink and sometimes over it. No wonder more and more people are saying "nah, I'm good." (And that's a FINE choice!)

But for those who still feel an inscrutable exhortation of the soul--those who worry that their lives would not be complete without a child--here's my advice on how to tell if you should, or shouldn't.

Firstly, and mostly. If you don't enjoy kids, you shouldn't. If you don't fundamentally like being around them; if you don't think they're fun, and funny; if they don't put a smile on your face. Don't count on feeling differently about your own. Like, you will probably enjoy yours more, but they're still basically gonna be kids. If you hate the noise, the questions, the sticky hands--if you wouldn't take a friend or family member's kids for a day excursion just because you'd enjoy their company. Don't do it. I like kids. I like my own kids even more. They still drove me crazy sometimes and that's inescapable. My observation has been that it seems much worse for the people who DON'T like kids but expected their own to be "different."

But, if you feel your life would be empty without them... well, that is something that kids fix. The emptiness. Like, you probably shouldn't have a baby just because you're lonely...but also, you'll never be lonely again for at least the next thirteen years. If you wonder what the purpose of your life is; if you're searching for meaning. Children fill that hole right up. I don't think anybody dies surrounded by loving family and asking themselves, "well, I brought X number of wonderful people into the world, but other than that, what was it all for?" Like, once you have created a whole entire other human, you do not lack for meaning or purpose. You've got that covered forever, because you're gonna care about them more than you care about yourself. So if you find yourself watching little humans at the park and wishing you could spend more time with them... if you think a lot about the books you'd want to read them, the places you'd want to take them, the things you'd want to teach them... if you absolutely crave the sweet, trusting warmth of a baby asleep against your shoulder. That's a good reason to do it, actually.

#thoughts on parenthood

[earlgraytay]

why death note isn't copaganda

Since y'all seem to like my Death Note Metaposting, here's another nugget for you to chew on: I don't think Death Note is copaganda. Either in intent or execution.

I think that Death Note is a story from a very specific time and place, with a very specific target audience. It is a Japanese story from the 2000s, and it's aimed at edgy thirteen-year-old boys.

Japan does not, technically, have a rating system for TV. But most media outlets do choose to self-censor. (To give you an idea of how that looks in practice, I turned to Eirin- the Japanese film ratings board. Eirin splits movies into G, PG-12, R-15, and R-18. Most anime movies are somewhere between PG-12 and R-15. Drug use and abstract supernatural horror tends to get treated much less harshly by Eirin than by the MPAA, but graphic violence, criminal behaviour, and nudity/sex get a much harsher penalty in Japan than they do in the USA.)

A Japanese show for preteen boys in 2005 could not portray the cops as being fundamentally corrupt and violent, any more than an American show for preteen boys could have. So... assuming the writers of Death Note had Some Things To Say about the police, they had to make some choices. They had to figure out how to convey what they wanted to convey- "having the power to kill fucks you up, and cops have that power"- without pissing off their publisher or their TV company.

The easiest way- and the laziest- would have been to make one cop, perhaps Light's Dad, into the Designated Corrupt Punching Bag that the Good Cops have to defeat to catch their criminal. Maybe the Corrupt Punching Bag cop would use a lot of bureaucratic red tape that the Good Guys have to punch through to get their man, or slow down the justice process by insisting on Correct Procedure at all points.

That writing decision positions the failures of the police department as the failure of one man. That writing decision implies that forcing cops to follow the rules that are designed to keep people safe from them actually puts people in danger. I think you could definitely call that writing decision copaganda= and too many shows, on both sides of the ocean, choose it.

But that is not what Death Note chooses to do.

Another way Death Note could have handled the problem is to just... sidestep it. Completely take the focus off of the police, throw in a line about how they're baffled, and let our Genius Detective Hero-Antagonists handle the case completely. In this version of Death Note, we'd have no Aizawa or Matsuda, Soichiro would just be Light's father, and L/Mello/Near would be the only ones pursuing the investigation.

This writing decision positions the police as irrelevant in a way that means you don't have to think about them. The Police Are Baffled, and that's all you need to know; they've handed the case off, and the story goes into the realm of The Outsider Boy Detective Story. This isn't copaganda, per se; it acknowledges that the police are a flawed force that can need outside help... but it's not engaging with the social issues that make the police genuinely flawed. It's veering into pure fantasy. And that can be a valid decision...

But that is not what Death Note chooses to do.

Death Note chooses to actively present the police as being good, but deeply flawed people... who, because of the system they operate in, have no choice but to become bad people. The cops we get to know are kind, funny, ordinary people. But for one reason or another, they don't notice the monster in their midst, until it's too late. And Light's influence corrupts them- or forces them out.

I'll admit that I'm going off my interpretation of the anime here, which does make some significant changes from the manga, but considering that the big change to the ending that the anime makes from the manga is continued into every future adaptation? I feel comfortable including it in my analysis.

[oh, and, uh, spoilers for the end of Death Note, obvs.]

Soichiro refuses to believe that his son could be a criminal. He knows Light's a smart cookie, and he trusts Light's sense of justice. He comes to treat Light as something of a superior officer, even though Light is his teenage son. ...And Light repays him by sending him off on a suicide mission. I mentioned this on a reblog of the original post, but when Soichiro gets his hands on the Death Note? He dehumanizes the criminals he's been sent to kill, the other members of his squad, and ultimately, himself. He treats everyone like they're an expendable cog in a big machine. No one is a person; everything is something to be used in pursuit of Justice. And unlike Light, Soichiro includes himself in that. Soichiro falls into the ultimate trap of being a Good Cop. If you fight for justice as a cop, you wind up utterly expendable. If you're a Good Cop, you die, on command, and take as many people with you as your overlords see fit.

Matsuda also looks up to Light, though for slightly better reasons; they did more or less join the force around the same time, if you count Light joining the Kira Investigation as Light becoming a cop. Matsuda implicitly trusts Light, especially by the start of Season 2. He sees himself as naiive, weak, careless, and stupid- even though he's actually really good at his job. Matsuda is sympathetic to Kira, but thinks he's going about things the wrong way, and that surely there's got to be a better way to make a better world? ....And then Matsuda discovers that everything he thought he knew was wrong. That Light is Kira, and always was. That Kira wasn't a good guy doing things the wrong way, that he was callously manipulating the entire task force this entire time, and that Matsuda has been his patsy. And Matsuda goes out swinging. Matsuda shoots Kira. And hits. More than once. If Ryuk hadn't decided to put Light out of his misery, it would be Matsuda's fault that Light died without real justice being done. If Soichiro is what happens to you when you're a Good Cop, then Matsuda shows how a Good Cop can become a Bad Cop. A moment of anger at the wrong time, a realization that you've been living a lie, or a criminal the cop cannot see as a person anymore? He uses the power of life and death. The power that the viewer has just been told is murder. Only instead of coming from the inkwell of a pen, it's from the barrel of a gun.

Aizawa is... interesting. I'll admit, I remembered him as being The Cop Who Leaves, and that coloured my interpretation until I went back to check the wiki. It turns out he left and came back- what I remembered as "Aizawa working as a private investigator" was Aizawa working well within the bounds of the Kira investigation, but going behind Light's back to talk to Near. But I do think it's significant that Aizawa, more than anyone else in the Kira investigation, is the one who's able to leave. When the Kira investigation gets defunded by the Japanese government, it's Aizawa who can walk- who feels like he has the duty to walk, because he has something to live for that's more important than Justice. Catching Kira is less important than making sure his wife and kid don't starve, after all. He moves to a different part of the police force, and considers leaving the force altogether. And even after he's come back to the Kira investigation, he's detached enough from it that he can see Light's transparent bullshit for what it is. Aizawa is the Good Cop. He follows procedure when he can; when he can't- because the investigation is too corrupt, mostly- he still tries to do what would make the world a better place for everyone. He isn't violent; he isn't cruel; he isn't into justice as retribution. FFS, Aizawa tries to hold back Matsuda from shooting Light. The writers have said that if more people were like Aizawa, the world would be a better place.... And Aizawa is the guy who can leave. Who does leave. Whose loyalty is to his family and his own morals, not to the police as an agency, not to his comrades on the force, not to the thin blue line.

A couple of people have pointed out to me that in Death Note How To Read 13, the writers have said that they didn't have a theme they were going for. And honestly, that'd explain some of the hiccups with the writing.

But I can't help but feel like, even if it's unintentional, the way that the major cop characters' arcs play out is a very well structured critique of some common copaganda tropes.

I think that Death Note is only copaganda if you define "copaganda" as "there is a cop character who is sympathetic" without interrogating what the show is saying with its cops beyond that. And considering that Death Note is a show written for tweens, in a country where respect for authority is paramount? I think that the show's done as much as you can reasonably expect it to to subvert Being Copaganda.

(If anyone wants to say that the Autistic Detective Crew is somehow copaganda, a) I have another essay locked and loaded, do not test me, the short version of which is b) there are two genres of detective fiction, and the one that L/Mello/Near are part of is not part of the tradition that gave us copaganda, it's the other one.)

#death note #shoichiro yagami #touta matsuda #shouta aizawa #copaganda #< that doesn't even look like a real word anymore jfc #general malarkey #tumblr malarkey #fandom malarkey

[authenticparanoidghosts]

hey, found your blog by accident. i see that you have many opinions on chess. what are your thoughts on freddie's arc in the obc? ngl, i kind of love that he never improves. he's a hysteric diva to the end. i think that's so fun but it's also so interesting how he gets a weird sort of redemption arc in every single revival i've read the summary of lol. florence vassy you just haven't got the instincts of a winner!!!!!!!!!!

okay first of all we need to understand two things. 1) I received a CD of the original concept album for christmas, which I promptly loaded into my car's CD player, and 2) it took me a really long time to guess what OBC might stand for. I'm still not totally convinced it isn't Original British Concert, but enough about Chess in Concert! enough, I say! I don't care what Tim Rice said in 2009, Chess in Concert is the coward's way out!

Original Broadway Cast Freddie is a great Freddie because he sucks so bad. it is so important that Freddie sucks. it is, I would argue, fundamental to his character that he sucks like crazy and is generally unpleasant to be around. Broadway Freddie is so weird and dramatic and pathetic. he throws a big fit about the yogurt, he ditches Mountain Duet to do One Night in Bangkok, he's Walter's babygirl who is so so easy to manipulate. they don't let him in on the big plot to get Anatoly back to Russia, they don't even let him win at chess on his own merits!! Anatoly has to outright throw the match for Freddie to finally become world champion, which I find a very funny choice for the American version of the musical.

within the swirling multiverse of Whatever Chess Is Supposed To Be, I like Freddie a lot. I like when he acts weird and bad, because the point of him is to be a flawed human being whose faults reflect on himself rather than the material success of his country/capitalist ideology. Freddie gets to be annoying and misogynistic and hurtful and childish all out in the open because he is Anatoly's mirror, because Anatoly is not a paragon of Russian ideology/communist superiority, he is also just some guy who sucks and is hurtful and misogynistic and childish. Anatoly fighting for his right to be judged as an individual invites this comparison by default - as rivals, they are the only truly "equal" characters in the story - so when Anatoly becomes a man who is not the Representative of Everything Russian, it makes the viewer aware that Freddie is not just a boiled down extraction of what it means to be American. and therefore, when Freddie does something lame and bad, we know this is because he is lame and bad as an individual, and that Anatoly is also lame and bad on his own merits.

I don't think Freddie needs a redemption ("redemption" or maybe, like, "minor improvement") arc to be an interesting character, so I don't feel like I'm missing anything from the Broadway version of him where he doesn't really grow or change as a person. the MOST important thing about Freddie is his positioning relative to Anatoly (men will hurt every woman who comes into their life because their real [NARRATIVE PARALLEL] is another man), so as long as that's interesting, I'm having a great time. in the original Broadway production Freddie is unaltered by the events of the plot, and therefore Anatoly is pulled, magnetically, back to his starting position. the board resets, same as it ever was, with Anatoly back in Russia, Freddie chasing fame as the American champion, and Florence alone, with nobody on her side.

#me on my Anatoly Is A Bad Person grind. lmao. #I DIDN'T GET THIS NOTIFICATION ON MOBILE! HOPE YOU'RE STILL AROUND! #anyway #ask #Chess the Musical #this is not to say I don't like when Freddie gets character growth! I'm an inveterate Talking Chess stan and I'll die on that hill

[thephantomcasebook]

You talk a lot about the HOTD actors misbehaving on set but especially focus on Oliva, Emma, Phia, Paddy and Rhys. Do you know how Fabien, Ewan, Tom and Matt behaved on set? I'm curious to know about the inside and stuff of the show.

It also strikes me as weird for Rhys to be cast in such a role because everyone always says everything in him is funny so I would thought they would have looked for a more settled character (I ended up liking him as Otto though, but I thought it was a bit weird)

Usually when I talk about the actors that are the exception, I talk about Frankle, Mitchel, and Glynn-Carney.

I'm not saying they didn't fuck around on set, but I've never heard anyone say a bad thing about them. They all seemed to have taken the job and their characters seriously. Yeah, I'm sure they goofed around on set - who doesn't when everything is hurry up and wait - but the point is that they seemed to care, and when it was go time, they were professional and really into their job.

I'll always point out the difference between Ewan Mitchell and Tom Glynn-Carney vs. Olivia Cooke and Emma D'arcy.

In the 1x09 documentary, Mitchell and Glynne-Carney had an entire segment where they got deep into their characters and so embodied them that they made up little brotherly chorography of biting and tickling one another to show a closeness.

However, when Olivia Cooke and Emma D'arcy are interviewed they talk more about the social and political commentary of their characters as vessels of the message, or they simply make things up that have no baring on the character - like Alicent being secretly a Lesbian or Rhaenyra being "Gender-Fluid".

Mitchell and Glynn-Carney took two characters, deep dived into who they were, and built upon that to make them real people. Cooke and D'arcy took two characters and tried to fundamentally change them to fit what they wanted to play for their own mercenary ambitions.

Now you tell me who are the real actors and who are the narcissists?

I've also never heard a bad thing said of Matt Smith. I'm not gonna lie, after the stuff that Lily James accused him of, I will always be suspicious of him - though I'll admit that I'm always bias toward Lily James. But from what I've heard, Matt Smith tried to take a leadership role in production and bring order when it seemed that Sapochnik wouldn't. He also cared, and made suggestion and took point when things could've been a lot worse to make them better. I don't think anyone could claim that Matt Smith isn't a very talented actor. And when you watch the behind the scenes stuff, you can clearly see him taking charge in a good way and actively caring about the project when it seemed that a lot of people around him didn't.

Rhys Ifans is a really funny mutha'fucker and he is a really talented actor - I love him as Curt Connors and as Nigel in "The Replacements'. However, you need to have someone to balance that energy out. And that's the problem with a lot of producers and projects today. Everyone idolizes comedians, cause, every asshole these days thinks they're so witty and fucking funny. So they jump at the chance to have comedic actors in their projects. But they're a utility, not your main stay. You have to have someone that is funny but also knows when to pick their spots and takes things seriously.

On "Game of Thrones" both Peter Dinkledge and Conleth Hill were comedic actors, but they were also classically trained enough to respect the gravity of the world they're playing in. They played subtle comedy and didn't over sell it. The problem is that Sapochnik wanted that same thing that he got in "Game of Thrones" but he didn't respect the professionalism and maturity that came with Dingledge and Hill. He just thought any old comedic actor would do, he just wanted funny men that he liked. Thus, when Ifans and Paddy showed up, they did what they do best ... but there was no one else to off-set their energy. Therefore their bad habits dominated the set and encouraged bad behavior from the younger actors.

I don't blame Ifans and Paddy, like I said, they're gonna do what they do. I blame Sapochnik for his childish finger painting understanding of how leadership in a production works. He seemed to think that years of continuity, chemistry, and talent from "Game of Thrones" could be replicated by him, because, he was the genius behind it all.

Now, HOTD is suffering because they didn't put any respect on the name of the production and crew of "Game of Thrones" that made it so effortless that a bunch of mids and mediocre talent thought they could just replicate it without any trouble.

#House of the Dragon #Game of Thrones #tom glynn carney #Ewan Mitchell #Olivia Cooke #Emma D'arcy #Matt Smith #Rhys Ifans #Paddy Considine #peter dinklage #Conleth Hill

[rescue-ram]

hawktrap, and if someone got there before me, beejhawk

(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) TrapHawk ✨

Ship It

1. What made you ship it?

Waugh, the first MASH episode I remember seeing was Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde, and the funny-turns-touching caretaking instantly set off the little shippy bulb in my brain. I love best friend ships, I love the love and affection between them, I love that they're a paired set and the support they show, and I feel like there's a really special quality to their friendship that makes them feel Very Important to each other. Plus they have great chemistry.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Kfksjsj low key got ahead of myself there. But the thing that keeps me hooked is how flexible they ss characters and their dynamic is. I feel like there's lots of angles you can take and lots of scenarios to explore while still keeping the characters in line with what we see in the show. I love that they're in sync 95% of the time, but those little gaps leave just enough room for drama or angst. I love that they're inveterate kinksters AND softboys who care for each other. They're just great.

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I mean there are certain common takes on both characters, especially Trapper, that make me cuckoo bananas rageful. The whole Trapper Abandoned Hawkeye and Broke His Heart thing 🔪🔪🔪 I will also die on the hill that Trapper Is Much Softer Than People Give Him Credit For and Hawkeye Is Much Stronger. Trying to think of how to phrase my gripes and opinions such that I don't come off as unnecessarily bitchy lol. But like, it is SO HARD to find stuff for these two that Works for me. I think they're more interesting and complex than they're given credit for.

Annnnd BeejHawk 🍵

Don't Ship It

1. Why don’t you ship it?

I feel like you articulated this at a deep level beautifully in your meta a few days ago lol. I mean fundamentally I am a Trapper Girl TM and TrapHawk is my One True Pairing, so this was always doomed to at best second tier "I like it fine" ship status tbh. But there's just too much friction in the relationship on screen, there's some genuine meanness and anger, they misunderstand each other at key points, and I don't see the chemistry between them. Being extremely petty and subjective for a second, I just don't like BJ as a character very much, I find him frequently mean and petty and annoying and unfunny. Hawkeye can do better.

2. What would have made you like it?

Augh. Okay, I think in a lot of BJHawk interactions that others read as shippy, I see an edgy clinginess that makes me Uncomfy. So BJ being less "repressed neurotic" and a little more ease in their relationship. Also the fundamental biggest barrier to BJHawk is BJ Loves His Wife and Child, and I don't want to like. Get rid of that aspect of his character because it's vital to him, y'know? But maybe more of Hawkeye corresponding with Peg and building up a friendship with her- it could even be comedic, where he's planning a surprise for BJ who's getting increasingly suspicious then is amused/embarrassed/fond when he figures it out, but just like a sense Hawkeye could be included in the family dynamic without being wildly unfair to Peg, or even just BJ being a little more liberated sexually such that it's easier to imagine them conducting an affair that doesn't IMMEDIATELY implode his marriage. I mean, BJ is the deuteragonist for 2/3 of the show, obviously I have thoughts on their dynamic and how it would change with a romantic or sexual element to it, but I frankly don't see Gay BJ at all, I don't see Bi BJ at all, he's sooooo heterosexual to me, so a more sexually ambiguous or chill BJ is necessary lol. Also more BJ taking care of Hawkeye, more buddy vibes and funny coziness! And like this is probably me ragging too much on BJ... IDK it's hard to say how Hawkeye would need to change, he's already trying to be a good friend given the circumstances... I mean, for my subjective ship tastes 90% of my personal turn offs come from BJ, so Hawkeye is not really the problem in this ship for me. I guess something that really bugs me about the BJHawk fic I've tried that turns me off the ship is Sad Sack Hawkeye, so maybe more content with spunky prankster Hawkeye and co-conspirator BJ, or a proactive seductive Hawkeye pursuing BJ, romancing him, making it more of a "I want this because I want you" than a "I'm clinging to this because I need you" thing, which isn't sexy to me.

3. Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Jfkdndkdn. Yeah, I guess. It's not like. A bad ship. I get it. They were The Pair for 8 seasons, they have many many moments to build a ship on, it's not without merit or something. They're friends who've been brought together in horrible circumstances, they go through a lot, they're close, there's some great scenes for them. I think you can get some interesting scenarios out of their dynamic, though my brain runs a little darker and angstier than shippy. But it is just so very much Not My Cup of Tea in either the show or in the fan works I've tried. Even fics that were otherwise interesting and well-written and in character, the BJHawk elements were pure 😬 to me. Truly truly "Your ship is not my ship and that's okay" situation.

#thank you for the ask 🦔 #i think i got dangerously honest on my opinions here lol #me: (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠🏏*⁠.⁠✧ oh boy a shiny new bat! i can't wait to swing it at hornets nests kgkfkfkf

[alexenglish]

I remember a few years ago there was a conversation about young parenthood on your blog and I found it really refreshing, especially since it's hard to hear about queer parenting in the first place unless you're actively seeking those stories out. Feel free to ignore, but how did you ever find the courage to navigate life as a queer young parent in an increasingly cis-centric world, and, if I can ask, what have been some unexpected positives about it (or positives you didn't think would happen but happened). (Sorry this is so formal, lol, I don't know whats up with me)

honestly, i have such a strong set of beliefs that i am compelled to parent in a way that is authentic to those beliefs, how i experience the world, and my own identity so it's less about courage and more about me being insufferable and correct and knowing what matters lmao

i do have the immense privilege of an incredible support system. even if the outside world is telling my kiddo that unicorns are for girls and boys shouldn't be sensitive, everyone who has a hand in raising him has a lot of the same fundamentals to teach him from. they either completely understand where i'm coming from when it comes to teaching him certain things/allowing him to express himself in certain ways, firmly believe those things themselves, or are willing to try to understand when it's something important. not having to defend myself to those close to me goes a long way. we are undoubtedly safe and comfortable and, most importantly, consistent. i don't have anyone close to him undermining us and telling him he can't cry or can't wear his hair long or that there are only two genders.

the most unexpected positive for me is talking to other parents who want to do what i do but don't really have a blueprint for it. a lot of people raise their kids like they were raised and parrot a lot of stuff their parents said and don't even realize that it doesn't align with what they actually believe or the values they want to teach their kids! they're just adhering to a script and they don't know they can go off it and make a generational change. i love having casual conversations with parents where i can refute the script and make them kind of light up in epiphany. and it's funny because it's not like i know jack shit either! we're all just learning! but sometimes what i think is obvious isn't to them and when we talk about it, it shifts their perspective. it's fun to be the person that makes them think more deliberately about how they're parenting!

anyway idk parenting is SUPER weird and it's a little bit of a landmine because it's a very sensitive subject for a lot of people, but it's between your family and your little and that's the framework that matters most. the work you're putting in at home. what you believe. what they believe. encouraging them to draw their own conclusions. we've personally done a lot of 'if you like it, that's what matters' work in the last couple of years because the kids at school telling him boys shouldn't like unicorns and he shouldn't paint his nails and pink is stupid, and while we're working on how important it is to deconstruct misogynistic thinking, he also has to has the confidence in himself and his interests outside of what his peers think of them and it's my responsibility to give him that confidence.

uhm honestly i'm not sure if that was the answer you were looking for, but thanks for asking. i really love talking about parent shit.

#mic check #anonymoose #parent tag

[emeraldgreaves]

12,14, 17 and 30 for MoiraxRed and/or any/all of your BG3 pairings!

man i need to play more bg3. but this got way too long so here's the moirared!

Do they have similar goals? If they clash, how do they deal? I think their goals end up being fairly similar--I tend to describe them as two Weird Academics, so they're generally happy to support each other up to a point. i think moira finds the concept of the worldwalkers fascinating but also incredibly risky, so she'll help detangle power cables when Red wants to put together a new machine but doesn't have a problem pointing out the gaps in his reasoning. on the flip side, I think red does value moira's compassion and will gladly listen to her explain how antinausea potions were originally synthesized from lizard venom, but her self-sacrificing instincts in their particular line of work are a source of worry for him, and it's tricky to talk her down from expending so much of her time and energy because Healing/self-worth issues have basically trained her to operate that way.

Is there anything they associate with each other?

wasn't quite sure how to answer this one so have some patchwork vibes.

moira->red: once or twice across a barroom, she heard a laugh that was almost his. she draws such perfect chalk circles because of how much practice she had constructing them around their midnight experiments. he was the first person to recommend her favorite playwright. (she kept skipping shows of his favorites, and regrets forgetting how funny they were.) the book in chandry's shop seemed like something he might have liked. if she'd ever seen the sea, it would be a couple of shades away from his eyes. once on the road, maybe a week after she'd left for good, someone tugged on her braid the way he occasionally did and she hacked the entire thing off that evening.

red->moira: she prefers lavender soap for her hair. recipes for tonics and elixirs tended to read themselves in her voice. sometimes he finds her in the kitchen when he goes to scrounge up midnight snacks. (he didn't realize he looked forward to it until she was away on mission.) half the delight in a new discovery is explaining it to her over dessert. in their fifth year, she gave him a bookmark she made that would cling to the point in the page where you left off.

Their ways of expressing their love. lena's probably got an ask for things red does, but (1) moira feeds people and will bring snacks down if red is lost in the research sauce lmao (2) will happily donate time to the parts of research that don't require an advanced degree (rubber ducking, flagging stuff from the vaults that looks useful, etc.) (3) forehead. kisses. (4) in an established relationship, they send a letter home at least once a week so that the other person is guaranteed to receive them at some point. in the flirting stage they passed a lot of notes LMAO (5) giving the other one space to just Be A Person. IMO red is actually really well-suited to understand how heavy being The Hero of Haven can be, since he's done that as archmage. it helps that both of them knew the other person before they had a dramatic title to carry, so there's already a trust that they'll be forgiven for being less than perfect.

How does their love change as they get older? okay i can never write short about this but TLDR: they're not just exes. they were close friends whose miscommunication over their breakup drove a narrow but deep wedge between them that persists even in the present, and i think about that constantly. i think fundamentally the circle berakup came down towards red's thoughtlessness vs moira's passivity, plus her growing guilt/fears over keeping a large secret that potentially endangered anyone she gets close to. so things are better in game time! it's kind of interesting how time has reversed which one of them is more careful vs more carefree--red getting burned means he intends to make absolutely certain they're on the same page this time, moira getting forgiveness (and clarity) about the words of power removes a lot of her hesitations. there's a deliberateness and an openness that they hadn't quite figured out the first time. i think the biggest test for them actually comes postgame when it becomes clear just how fucking fragile moira has become due to the events of the game. and it's terrifying for her to be that vulnerable around him, but even admitting she was hurting would have been unfathomable to her when they were seventeen. (yes, this is another fic. no, i don't have enough information to finish it.) i'm also actually super curious to see if red's personal arc goes where i think it will (somewhat along the same lines of the major choice in riel's second day off, if that makes sense) because i think that's going to be a fascinating conversation for them. one of the ongoing jokes with some of my fics is that they add +10 to the redharden stat LMAO by the time we hit The Future in Take Your Daughter To Work Day, there's a point of contention around how much moira's tried to put hero of haven stuff behind her--on the one hand, it was probably the most painful period of her life by a long shot, but at the same time it's difficult to pretend it didn't happen, especially given that one of their kids joins the shepherds. they go back and forth on how much information it's right for them to have. but honestly i don't think it affects how much they love each other. sometimes i think about how much they care about each other and want to lie on the floor.

#emerald speaks #god this got long do not feel obligated to read the whole thing LMAO #moira linden #ask meme

[tanadrin]

Not sure who the dysgenics post is vaguing, and I don't want to get into this off anon, but sterilization (ostensibly voluntary) of genetically inferior potential parents is an idea that I've seen advocated by someone concerned about dysgenics

It's a side post to big discussion involving some people I follow about Scott Alexander's pessimistic predictions for the future. All very silly Decline and Fall stuff, as @discoursedrome put it.

(And even then I think he was being too charitable--"the whole world looks like it's decaying if you live in the political and economic center of it and even small things are shifting around you" is true, but I actually don't think very big shifts are occurring--I could go on at length here, but suffice it to say I think US hegemony is assured for the time being, we're making progress even on the biggest issues facing our society, like climate change, and I simply do not think a 50/50 chance of humans destroying themselves within 100 years--or even experiencing a major global collapse--is realistic. I think Acott Alexander lives inside a bubble of people with a lot of really silly ideas about the world and how it works, where being clever is seen as a sufficient substitute for expertise, and he is there because he is fundamentally gullible to any idea packaged in the right aesthetic.)

But historically, the idea of dysgenics/eugenics arose in the context of Social Darwinism. I think Social Darwinism is a funny animal; it is a surface-level retread of some ideas that were in circulation in Britain for a long time before Darwin. Specifically, the idea of a hierarchy of virtue that exists alongside and underpins a hierarchy of class is nothing new--that in itself may be as ancient as human civilization, since every society needs an ideology to legitimate its power structures. But in the context of early 1800s Britain, you had the Whigs, the new middle class of the burgeonining Industrial Revolution, looking to join the ranks of power--either to position themselves against the lazy shiftless aristocracy who did not work for a living, or to join them, to be like "yes, we don't have titles [but please give us some!], but we're also not like those awful lazy/drunk/Irish poors." I think alongside the Whiggish enthusiasm for science and progress, Social Darwinism nicely blends both that older idea of a hierarchy of virtue with newer ideas about dispassionate natural processes to produce an idea with a lot more mimetic heft for the new age (if you don't know much about either Darwinism or economics) than the unfiltered Anglicanism of the pre-1860s generations, one which takes the exact same policy prescriptions and like 90% of the same underlying rationale ("we cannot improve the social condition of the poor; they will waste their money on drink and gambling, breed like rabbits if their children are no longer often starving to death or dying of cholera, and they will corrupt the virtue of our society") and adds just a light dusting of pseudoscience ("we cannot improve the social condition of the poor; they will waste their money on drink and gambling, breed like rabbits if their children are no longer often starving to death or dying of cholera, and they will have a dysgenic effect on the white race").

(Along with the corollary, obviously, that we should get rich people to breed more, because clearly wealth and intelligence and virtue are heritable.*)

I do not think Scott Alexander is a Social Darwinist. Almost nobody is these days, and while I think he sometimes takes some very bad ideas seriously, I do not think he is at "19th century British racist" levels of taking bad ideas seriously. AFAICT the kind of eugenics Scott Alexander would support is what's sometimes called "positive eugenics," i.e., not sterilizating people against their will, but making sure that (for instance) middle-class people aren't actively discouraged from having kids by the tax structure, and using genetic engineering if/when it becomes available to gradually improve longevity, health, and IQ. But where concerns about dysgenics do pop up in modern authors, they tend to echo or simply restate older Social Darwinist concerns--as a general argument against welfare, for instance. But Scott has also talked about how UBI is a good idea, and that's pretty much the welfariest welfare you could possibly welfare. So I assume he's not worried that if we give the poor food, we will be up to our eyeballs in shiftless drunk Irishmen within a few generations.

(*"Heritable" is a great word! Wealth, for instance, is indeed heritable! How much money you will have is strongly predicted by how much money your parents had. But "heritable" is obviously not the same as "genetic," and this kind of equivocation--like that between intelligence and education, or between virtue and conformity to arbitrary social norms, was the bread and butter of 19th and 20th century Social Darwinists.)

[dauntingday]

top 15 tv shows (in no particular order except i did number them bc otherwise i would forget to do 15)( love u @soleadita and fuck with the icon change immensely)

crashing (2016) call me marissa cooper the way i am ruthlessly stealing this pick but yeah it's. it's insane and fantastic and terrible and beautiful and so much happens so fast but its so so important to me

inside job (it's gross and weird and funny and sad and it's one of the only times i was genuinely upset when i heard about a show being cancelled)

young justice (pointing at an on fire garbage can - this is my son and i love him)

gilmore girls (comfort media of all time what else do you need)

bob's burgers (similar to the above it's very i am falling asleep to the weird bisexual man who is a mess at all times except for how much he loves his family)

fleabag (why yes i have a perfectly normal relationship with the catholic church and the concept of being truly known. why would you ask. and yeah i real life cried)

yuri on ice (idk if anime counts but fuck around and find out this is My List (tm)) ((it's beautiful and soft and lovely and sad and stressful and i listened to the instrumental track so many times it was on my spotify top songs. it's literally just a piano and a boy with a dream and i have wept about it))

given (it's the first anime i ever watched all the way through which in retrospect, fucking insane way to come out of the gate. as a Band Kid (tm) who wanted to be a theater kid but was bad at speaking in front of groups of people, this show did a lot to my psyche in the best way possible)

will (enough with the tears its time for something almost embarrassingly niche. in 2017 TNT had a drama series about william shakespeare and to this day it remains one of the greatest things ive ever seen. jamie campell bower plays the sluttiest version of christopher marlowe you've ever seen in your life. it's chaotic and ridiculous and i absolutely adore it. i have no idea where to find it im pretty sure they want us to forget it exists but i cant)

numb3rs (silly little show about a nervous man who solves murder with the power of math and being a pathetic little wife guy to the hottest woman ive ever seen. theres an episode about trains that i think rewired something in my brain)

white collar (look at me. obviously im a white collar guy. come on now)

invincible (i think ive seen the pilot episode like 4 times. i genuinely think it redefined to me what superhero media could be. oh i adore it more than anything. it's only 9 because i haven't seen season 2 yet but holy shit. holy shit. media of all time. if you want to know me fundamentally and wholly please watch the pilot. i'll watch it again anytime im not kidding)

teen titans (cherished childhood media of all time. only group of people who have ever understood dick grayson)

bridgerton season 2 (i'm bias on account of just finishing it yesterday but holy shit two people have never been in love like they are in love)

the flash (cw) (im sorry to both my mother and god for this one but unfortunately i don't have taste and also it's the reason i started caring about dc in the first place which is the reason i got back on tumblr and met all the cherished gay people in my telephone so yeah. barry allen's allowed to be cringe as fuck i owe him everything)

leo already tagged everyone i know on here but if u see this pls do it and @ me im nosy

#btw if i think about how many of these i've seen with and/or because of the gayest person in my telephone i will start crying again #been thinking about richard gansey too long now im emotionally compromised #i love you fucking freaks so much what the fuck #anyway watch crashing. i think thats the main takeaway

[early-byrd]

I Don't Know These People.

The feeling of losing friends, drifting apart from people you once were so close to, the thought, “I Don’t Know These People”.

—

I attended a pool party for a friend's birthday. I was hesitant, in part because I don’t like parties, but mostly because I don’t enjoy being shirtless. I did end up going, and with it, I met with some of my old friends I hadn’t seen in a long time.

When I say that, one might think a few weeks, a few months, or if we’re a bit dramatic a few days. Though, by definition, “a long time” is being “far in the past.” And yeah, I hadn’t seen these friends in over 2 years. The last time I saw them was in March of 2020, as I jokingly referred to as “Pre-Plague.” 

—

Writer and professor Yiyun Li once said “Things change a lot. Within a blink, a mountain flattens and a river dries up. Nobody knows who he'll become tomorrow.” We live each day changing bit by bit. Physically, of course, through height, weight, or hairstyle. It can also be mental, feeling down one day or feeling enthusiastic another. Only a single day can cause so much change. Imagine two and a half years of nothing but small conversations with little to no substance beyond funny pictures and small talk.

I looked out at the pool full of people I knew and loved. I had grown up with them for 3 years, and yet, I didn’t know them anymore. They all seemed so different, in almost uncanny ways. Some of them had new haircuts, some had gotten more muscular, and some had gotten taller, but more than that, these people had changed in a way I can’t possibly describe.

Like the slow, gradual changing of your hometown, a street light here,  a few lanes there. You don’t realize it at the moment, but you know, something, maybe everything, is different.

My friends didn’t change in major ways, but as I thought about it I realized how far we had grown apart. They lived in different areas and went to different schools, of course, we would grow apart and they would change, but it doesn’t feel like I’ve changed.

—

It seems so cliche, like a hero’s journey, going through personal development constantly, but lacking when it comes to recognizing that development. Applying it to other people, however, proves rather easy.

This person went through a bad relationship and came out the other side stronger. That person went through a death in the family and learned to deal with loss.

Even in literature, character change is explored. Bilbo Baggins starts as a very grounded, safe, non-adventuring person, and by the end, he yearns for a new adventure with peril and danger. In James Dashner’s The Maze Runner, Thomas, the main character, starts the story as a fish out of water, struggling to survive in his alien environment. But by the end, he’s the leader of his companions, they look up to him for leadership and courage.

Things like this happen constantly in the real world as well. Countries’ relationships develop constantly, markets dictate how companies interact,  and connections are formed and changed as needed.

The thing is, though, those are all obvious changes. When looked at from an outside perspective, they have a rhyme, a rhythm, and a reason for happening. 

—

I left that party a little early that evening, partly because I wanted to be home early, but also partly because I felt so out of place. I used to care for these people, and I still do, but a fundamental part of that care is missing and I don’t think I can get it back.

It feels almost ironic to say, “Things have changed, and that's okay.” As if I’m a late 2000s song about moving on. On the other hand, it also feels weird to acknowledge the fact that the world does change, and whether I like it or not, people change along with it. My friend groups won’t always be the same, but for the time being, I should spend a little more time with the people closest to me. 

#authors #my writing #writing #creative writing #write #writeblr #writers on tumblr #author #writerscommunity #writer things