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#And when I give them to her she gets so excited bc she thinks it's a treat
hella1975 · 8 months
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all hate to tiktok for taking 'having a space to more openly and actively talk about different cultures' to mean 'cultures are NOT to be shared and we must be vigilantly defensive of our cultures for fear of appropriation, a word that can be applied to any multicultural interaction'. like of course cultural appropriation is a very real problem but ive seen with the access to global multicultural conversation that tiktok provides it's made people TERRIFIED to even interact with cultures other than their own for fear of 'doing it wrong'. like at some point you have to acknowledge that in the real world of the great outdoors, the majority of people are eager to SHARE their cultures. yes there are ignorant questions and biases but also... how do you think those things get unlearnt? i dont understand how deciding that multiculturalism is an elephant in the room instead of a normal thing that should just be talked about and lived with is supposed to benefit anyone? and kids on tiktok are CONVINCED that it's a time bomb of a conversation to have and therefore must be avoided at all costs but like. people generally LOVE their home and their culture and are PROUD of it and want to share it. how have we made it so that showing genuine interest and a desire to understand something so integral to a person's identity is now feared and borderline demonised?
#thinking about this a lot lately. thinking about how fun it was comparing cultural differences in america#thinking of how when i was homesick one thing i found a great comfort in was talking about my home#and how it differed and i really loved and appreciated it when people would ask me about england#in a way that they genuinely just wanted to learn about it and not to take the piss#thinking about how the kitchen at work has chefs from all over europe. we have an irish chef and a spanish chef and an italian chef#and one of the kps is from eastern europe (i havent actually been able to find out where yet) etc and the way they banter with each other#like usually chefs are Problematic bc their humour is VERY abrasive and usually offensive#but this is one instance where it's actually to their benefit bc they're so unafraid to ADDRESS THE FACT THEY HAVE DIFFERENT CULTURES#i feel like the tiktok gen are so petrified of even acknowledging other cultures let alone discussing them#that it's actually sending the conversation backwards. like how does hoarding your culture and pretending it's not there benefit anyone#LET ALONE YOU AND THE CULTURE IN QUESTION. idk it just baffles me a bit that something that started as people on tiktok#genuinely spreading information and talking about the BAD side of this where people DO culturally appropriate or invade spaces that arent#theirs has now become 'for fear of speaking bad about it we will not speak about it at all'. and they'll crucify you if you do. like what#even at uni my best mate is indian and she's too scared to join the sikh society on her own so i regularly go to the events with her#and im typically one of the handful (or the only) white non-sikh there and i get SO welcomed each time#like there's such a genuine excitement to share the culture with someone who is effectively a blank slate#and like yeah ill ask 'dumb' questions or i'll have different experiences (tried a samosa for the first time at one of these events#and the moment that info got out i had like five STRANGERS trying to give me different samosas to try and it was genuinely such#a laugh bc yes they were TEASING me bc 'how have you never had one' but they were also really eager to share MORE as a result)#ugh idk what im saying. i just think it's a shame to watch this happen in real time on the internet#when if people would just go outside and actually TALK to people from other cultures they'd realise 9 times out of 10 the interactions#are actually really really nice for BOTH parties. and actually refusing to talk about this stuff is long-term pretty fucking detrimental#and it also goes the other way!!! like imagine if i - citizen of colonisation motherland herself - didn't interact with other cultures#and didnt ask questions or hear their opinions on whatever shared history we have from THEIR POINT OF VIEW#imagine the kind of shit id be internalising bc i only hung out with other white british people. it wouldnt matter if i was doing it#to be woke or 'respect their culture'. it would still be fucking ignorant. like half my interactions with other cultures#see me as the butt of the joke bc of this like aforementioned irish chef at work VOCALLY slates the english all the time#but it's done in an environment where we're FRIENDS and it's poking fun at each other while still addressing a very serious history. like??#idk if any of this is worded in a way that makes sense but yeah. i have thoughts#cant believe i got inspired to make an actually serious post bc of the CHEFS AT WORK. embarrassing. no one let them see this
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justawishaway · 4 months
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Nothing is more soothing to me than listening to my bunny eat.
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born-to-lose · 7 months
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"No more giving my number out to random people who flirt with me at work" I say as if I'm not going into the next shift with a pen and tissues in my pocket
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jellophoid · 7 months
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wouldn’t it be so cool if the hat Rose wears belonged to Mia ? And was like a parting gift when Chris took her ?
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pepprs · 2 years
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kind of amazing that i get down on myself for having impostor syndrome and feeling constantly stupid and naive and radiating insecurity about being young all the time when actually there is a completely explainable reason for it which is that i live in this house 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
#groaning and laughing over liz memes with my siblings and explaining to my parents why ppl are doing this / why ppl hate her and#are celebrating her death and they start attacking me for relaying the information (and agreeing with it ♥️) and saying shit like This#Generation has no respect and are so cruel and classless and always pick at problems for no reason and make unfounded baseless claims when I#was literally reading them evidence of the awful things that happened under her reign and they were going i don’t believe that. LMFAO! ok.#and the generational disdain has been such an issue too. like our parents straight up think we are stupid! love and light 💖#purrs#one of the worst fights i ever had with my mom that was the reason i started going to counseling happened bc of how jason mraz announced#that he was two-spirit and i was talking to my mom about it and said that he shouldn’t have called himself that bc he&: white and she BLEW#UP at me for like 3 days straight for trying to be ‘labelist’ about him and for caring about sexuality and ‘policing’ his / her language and#she literally went out of her way to pick a fight with someone on ig who was saying the thing i was to prove a point to me and she said othe#other extremely hurtful things about me being bi and about me having the audacity to ‘root for the underdog’ and how she was going to cut me#out of her life just like she did with her aunt because i push her buttons too much so ♥️ always very fun to get into debates with my parent#and i know it goes against literally everything i am supposed to know / be for me to be arguing like this and to be complaining about it and#even joking about queen elizabeth but like. idk. i feel so torn between how i feel. i know she was a human being yeah yeah but she was#also a colonialist monarch parasite and i genuinely think the way tumblr explodes when politicians and world leaders die is endearing and#exciting and funny. i adore my job and my colleagues and also working full time is killing me. i recognize that my parents are human beings#and that i am flawed and don’t know everything and am saying stuff without fully knowing what it means and also it makes me giddy to pick#fights with them a little bit. i am kind of a bad person i think and i care about it so much but also i don’t give a fuck anymore. nothing#in my life feels real rn and i am a scared creature in my skin all the time. so no i don’t feel like i can hold my own and represent my work#well because i am living a double life just wanting to play video games all the time and run away from everything but also wanting to create#the golden thing and help people open the door to a better world or whatever and i can’t tell wha ti want to do more because im fucking#EXHAUSTED and experiencing 15 kinds of despair at all times lol!#not to turn a post about queen elizabeth into a vent lmfao but i am so angry. it really fucking gets me that they think im stupid lol. like#i know im stupid for other reasons but it’s not fair to think im stupid because i am pointing out inequities and trying to help you learn or#whatever and it’s not fair that you think that im stupid because im a young person like im literally your fucking daughter and it is made st#STAGGERINGLY clear to me every day how you only wanted babies and you didn’t want us as the messy growing learning imperfectncomplicated#adults we are becoming and it fucking hurts and i hate you for it a little bit. lol 🤸🏻‍♀️#delete later#idk what i even just typed i an just hitting post and letting the consequences roll in. im a bad person fuck it!#parents tw
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rogersstevie · 1 year
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it’s so funny how much kids seem to like me when i struggle so much understanding the words they’re saying if they’re really little and i’m BETTER at interacting with them than i used to be after all these years with my nephew and nieces but still like. kinda awkward
i like them too, to be clear, kids are the fucking BEST even if i don’t want them for myself. but i’m always just kind of stunned when kids attach themselves to me seemingly so easily
#and it's just like?? most of the kids i interact with?#started with my nephew when he was much younger i'd guess not long after we met and started spending time together#and my older niece is much the same way when she comes over she wants to take me around with her#their younger sister not so much but she's still p exclusively attached to her parents it seems#so maybe in a year or two for her#and then my godson sure bc i've gone theirs a couple times a year every year for giving him birthday and christmas presents#but his siblings all get excited to see me too (sidebar his younger sister was dressed so cute today and i'm like#it was not like that when i was 10 oh my god)#and the youngest is more shy in general i think but he was v shy of me when i was over just a few months ago#and today we played tossing coins back and forth to each other and he had the biggest smile on his face#and he wanted to show me some toys in his room#and then he had one of those blankets that's also like a sort of lil costume of a monster#and he asked me to put it on him and then i did the whole pretending he's the monster that's gonna get me#but i was just like omg where did this turnaround come from you didn't wanna interact with me a few months ago#anyway kids are fascinating and also so fun and i love them i love them#i just wish i was better at the play stuff my brother apparently loves doing the make believe stuff with his daughter#which doesn't surprise me he's got a good imagination but yeah i'm always just like. idk how to do this#tbf i don't think kids really notice/care as long as you're engaging with them and all but still i just wish i was better at it#especially bc like if i WERE...working with kids might be fun but idk#personal
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snekdood · 1 year
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if you do this kinda shit to your cat you suck so fundamentally as a human being
#dont come to me telling me anything about how im bad when i sometimes yell at my cat when some of yall treat them like literal objects#like some of yall genuinely only see them as something to give YOU happiness rather than ever thinkwhat makes them happy#but whatever#im sure im just *being too dramatic* or whatever.#yknow. caring about animals.#yall have no respect for your animals#hope she bit you after that#inb4 'my cat never gets upset with me when i treat them like an object for my own self satisfaction!!'#yeah probably bc it realized it had no power in the situation to stop you and also realized you weren't gonna extend#sympathy in the way it needed or wanted so it gave up#like sometimes i see someones cat desperately pleading with them to be treated a certain way#and the ppl just act stupid like they dont know. and the worst part is they probably fuckin dont!#bc basic respect for the animal kingdom is not often taught to humans.#like your cat grew up around you. is used to you and your bullshit. its gonna think the way you mistreat it is normal.#but think deeply inside about it actually- like- detach from the fact you're hearing this from me and hate me-#GENUINELY think about it if you REALLY think its cool and normal to be this way around your animals#bc i promise that tail wagging back and forth isnt excitement. your cat is so fed up with you but cant stop you from anything#and yes you know who tf you are. stacking your fucking rocks on your cat waiting to see how many it take for her to get annoyed.#eat bags of shit.#theres a reason your cat liked being around me so much 🥴
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augustinewrites · 7 months
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satoru absolutely does not know how to ride a bike idk how i know this but i know cw: suggestive content, mdni
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“that was…good,” satoru settles on, still unable to properly articulate. he whines, still a little lightheaded and breathless as you roll off of him with a laugh, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before tucking yourself into his side.
“just good?” you tease, fingertips gliding over his chest. “if i’d known there was going to be a review, i’d have done that thing with my hips that you like.”
you roll your hips against his thigh, sending a warm chill down satoru’s spine. 
“don’t do that,” he warns, but his face is flushed and he can feel himself getting hard again. “unless you want to leave the kids at your dad’s for another night.”
“oh! speaking of the kids!” your sweet movements stop abruptly, causing him to peek one eye open to send you a long suffering look. “my father bought the kids bikes yesterday, and i told him you’d teach them how to ride them.”
now, it’s no secret that gojo satoru is good at a lot of things. 
he can manipulate the infinity around him and exorcise special grade curses with the flick of his wrist. he knows the words to every avicii song and can make mug cakes that don’t always explode in the microwave. 
there’s only one thing he can’t do. 
“i remember when my dad taught me,” you sigh. there’s a fondness in your eyes as you describe the memory. it’s something special and cherished, and satoru wants that for his kids. 
_____
“this isn’t funny, shoko!” 
“you’re right.”
“thank you—”
“because it’s hilarious. gojo satoru, the strongest sorcerer of our time, never learned how to ride a bicycle.” 
she trails off in a fit of laughter. satoru hasn’t heard her laugh like this in a long time, and he’d be ecstatic if her amusement hadn’t come at his expense. 
“i didn’t have anyone willing to teach me!” he tells her, huffing. “it was all cursed technique this and cursed technique that. not to mention bikes are literal death traps on wheels.”
“motorcycles are death traps on wheels. bicycles are for babies,” she corrects, though he can still hear the laughter bubbling in her response. “why’d you even agree to teach them?”
“because she did this super hot thing with her hips, but focus!” he whispers harshly. “i can’t teach the kids how to ride a bike! what if i just bought a car—”
“only you would try to buy a car for an 11 year old.”
“not for megumi. tsumiki’s basically 13. she can start learning so when she’s old enough—”
“so tsumiki is going to learn how to drive before you learn how to ride a bike? you are so tragic,” she snickers. 
well, it sounds lame when she puts it like that.
he looks up when the sound of the shower running stops. “and you’re useless,” he growls into the phone. “i’ll ask nanami.” 
_____
NOT GOJO 
[shoko]: i heard gojo’s teaching the kids how to ride their bikes
[you]: yeah :) i’m so excited!
[shoko]: me too.
[shoko]: can you send videos?
[nanami]: I would also like to see videos. 
[you]: sure. but why the interest?
[shoko]: bcs i care about them and want to celebrate their achievements
[you]: you didn’t come to megumi’s violin recital because you said you valued your eardrums. 
[nanami]: It will be a fun moment to look back on when they’re older. 
[shoko] yeah that ^
[you]: fine i’ll send videos.
______
the sun is just beginning to set and the city beginning to settle when you take the kids to the park. 
“i really think—”
“satoru, we are not teaching megumi how to teleport to school.”
“but if he uses the shadows—”
you thrust a helmet into his hands, stern look shutting him up immediately. 
“fuck,” he mumbles once your back is turned to help the kids. he shoves the helmet onto his head and buckles it tightly.
the kids walk over to him with their little bikes, the huge helmets on their head making them look like bobble heads. 
you document his torture with a quick photo before giving him the floor. 
“riding a bike is…super simple,” he tells them, patting the seat of your bike. “you get on, put your feet on the pedals, and…pedal.”
the kids only stare at him, confused looks on their cute faces. 
“maybe you should just show them,” you suggest. 
“why don’t you show them?” he quickly deflects. please please please—
“no! i’m taking the video!” 
fuck.
satoru grips the handles of the bike tightly. he’s faced the worst of the worst, died and come back to life. he could ride a stupid bike.
he kicks at the stand your bike is leaning on, getting it up on the fourth kick. he swings his right leg over so he’s straddling the seat, his feet planted firmly on the ground.
it can’t be that hard, can it?
“watch and learn, kids.”
he takes a breath, then pushes off and places his feet on the pedals.
the bike rolls forward slowly. it’s wobbly at best, but he’s doing it. he’s doing it! he picks up a little momentum, heading off into the sunset—
“satoru! don’t lead them downhill!”
sure enough, the path in front of him leads down a slight decline. he squeezes the brakes and jerks to the side, sending him toppling over the bike and into the grass.
as he lays in the grass, dazed, megumi and tsumiki bike right past him. he’s sure the former even rolls his eyes.
“they have training wheels,” he says when you run over to check on him. “they’re cheating—”
“do you not know how to ride a bike?!”
“i never learned,” he grumbles, cheeks blushing at the admission. 
“oh, honey,” you sigh, brushing some grass from his shirt. “why didn’t you just tell me?”
you kiss his brow, unable to hold back your laughter as he pouts. “you were so excited about me teaching them. didn’t want to disappoint anyone.”
“you could never disappoint us,” you tell him firmly. “now come on, i’ll teach all three of you.”
so you teach him, holding onto the back of his bike until he’s steady, until he’s confident enough to do it on his own. 
he’ll get the hang of it eventually.
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princessbrunette · 5 months
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All i can think about is rafe cameron buying you stupidly expensive lingerie sets for christmas😵‍💫 and then after breakfast he asks you to model them🤭
SANTA BABY ♡
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gettin me in the festive spirit hehehe this made me wanna spend xmas with the cameron’s so bad :((
cw: christmas duh, family bonding time, i aged Wheezie down to be like 6 years old bc i think it would be cute idk LMAOOO , suggestive themes but nothing too crazy ❀
At his core, Rafe Cameron liked to think he was a family man. He’d often flip out, misbehave, and shit talk his family members it’s true, but Christmas was a time he liked to put it all behind him (Atleast until the new year starts, and he can start up his usual BS)
As you can imagine, Christmas at the Cameron’s was something extravagant. Humungous white christmas tree with silver decorations at the centre of the house, the outside of the house decked with lights that required enough power to start up 3 yachts, fake snow on the porch and Frank Sinatras Christmas album playing round the house at each corner. The years had only softened Ward, and whilst he could be cruel, hard on Rafe and borderline forgetful of Wheezies existence — Christmas was where he shone brightest, just wanting to do right by his kids and now, you, his sons girlfriend.
Receiving presents from the family was a whole different ballgame to your usual Christmas at home, Ward having grinned ear to ear when he handed you the box with the Tiffany’s heart tag charm bracelet glittering under the Christmas lights of the early morning (Wheezie being Wheezie woke everyone up at 6AM sharp.) Rafe, who’d insisted you’d curled right up to his side on the couch wearing his robe resisted an eye roll, his dad always having to out do him, but you seemed elated and he felt his heart warm.
They went all out, Rose handing you a literal 90’s Blumarine runway piece she’d simply overheard you talking Rafes ear off about, the next 5 minutes spent by you and Sarah fawning over it. Sarah’s gift was next, a set of SKIMS dresses you’d been saving to your Pinterest which she couldn’t help but notice, and of course Wheezie proudly handing you a glittery macaroni necklace she’d crafted you at school, which you had no choice but to act like it was the best gift of all.
Come Rafe’s turn, he simply offered his family a smile and patted your side, turning his head to look at you. “I’ve got her presents in my room, figured I’d give it to you privately.” He teases, ignoring Sarah’s ‘Barf’ comment from her cross legged position on the floor beside her little sister.
The family dispersed for a little while, Sarah helping Wheezie set up her new toys on the carpet infront of the tree, Rose and Ward going to start up the food in the kitchen (Ward insists on cooking everything themselves instead of having the chefs do it, because it was tradition.) Before you could wander in there and offer your help, you were being pulled back gently by the arm into your fluffy robe clad boyfriend wearing a poorly masked excited smile. “What, you don’t want your present from me?”
He slides a box from under his bed when you get up to his room again, covered with thin pink gift paper to hide the logo. He sits on his chair, robe falling between his legs and bare knees exposed outwards. “C’mon, sit on santas lap.” He grins and you mirror him, skipping over, happy and spoiled and perching on his leg. He puts the box in your lap and you peel away the paper to see the Agent Provocateur logo with the iconic black ribbon. You widen your eyes at him as if to say ‘Okaaaay, good job’ before wedging your fingertips carefully beneath the cardboard lip and lifting it, seeing 5 sets before you that was perfectly accustomed to your taste.
You remember your trip to the city with Rafe, it was business of course — but you were happy to tag along and walk alongside him watching him handle things for you and his family. You’d spotted the fancy lingerie store, practically pressing yourself up against the glass of the window as you look inside rambling about how you had so many of the sets saved to your Pinterest, pointing out each with your finger smushed to the glass. Rafe nodded distractedly, phone pressed to his ear, leaning on his hip in his gridded shirt and khaki pants that fit too good, before gesturing to you with his thumb that the two of you needed to get moving again, or else you’d be late to the appointment with a buyer. You pout and peel yourself away from the store.
But that was like what, September? Did he go back and buy it all for you? Order it once he’d returned home with you? You’d know Rafe to hold a grudge, but didn’t know his memory served in a positive manner too. “Rafe…” You coo, plucking out the sets and holding them up to admire the intricate lace detailing, spotting matching garters and whatever else you’d mentioned laying in the box. The thought of him fumbling through your underwear drawer trying to figure out your bra size made you giggle, wrapping an arm around his neck in an appreciative squeeze.
“How’d you remember?” Your voice was high in awe, wanting to hold on to this sweet side of Rafe forever.
“Please, I pay attention sometimes y’know.” He smirks modestly, eyes on the box as he admires his work. “So you like it? Yeah?” His hands finding your hips and giving them a soft squeeze.
“Love it, Rafey.” It comes out muffled, because you’re busying yourself with pressing big wet kisses to his cheek, and then eventually his mouth. He pulls away a fraction, lips still brushing yours and eyes cracking open.
“Gonna try it all on for me though, right?” He drawls in that classic Rafe way that you can never say no to and you nod so vigorously you nearly headbutt him. He pats your butt with a pleased hum and pecks you once more. “Atta girl.”
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ghostfacd · 4 months
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LIVE LAUGH, SCREAM! | TOM BLYTH
pairing. tom blyth x fem!actress!reader
summary. where one comment could lead into an internet feud between tom blyth and yn avocot, resulting in them falling inlove ?!
author’s note. [ THIS TAKES PLACE BEFORE YN AND TOM STARTED DATING ] thank you to the nonnie that said yn gives off scream vibes bc they’re the reason i even made this post in the first place! 🤭
installment of this au | read for context
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ynuser scream bts (you’re welcome!)
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jennaortega did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
➥ jackchampion no but it might’ve when she stabbed u in the movie
➥ ynuser JACK 😭😭
user1 jenna flirting, jack teasing, I LOVE THIS CAST YOUR HONOR
user2 okay but literally your performance was just chefs kiss 😭 PLEASE tell me you’re starting in other movies as well bae
➥ ynuser oh thank you!! im so honored you enjoyed it ❤️ I will get back to you on your question!! 👀
➥ user3 OMGG YN IN ANOTHER FILM WOULD BE KILLER
➥ user4 well actually 🤓☝️ she was one of the ghostface in the film which means she actually was a killer
user5 @/user4 bye
tomblyth amazing film
➥ ynuser thanks
➥ user6 THANKS?? THANKS?! girl that’s tom blyth
➥ ynuser @/user6 who?
user7 no way this girl just asked who tom blyth is
➥ user8 well can u blame her tho?? he’s in like what, billy the kid or whatever? it’s not that known..
➥ user9 nah girl stars in one film and thinks she’s all that 😭
rachelzegler YOU DID SO GOOD GIRL 💕
➥ ynuser rachel my love 😭😭❤️
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tomblyth who am I? well now you know
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user10 oh he’s so fine
user11 LMFAOO is this a jab at yn not knowing who you are
user12 show that girl 🤭🤭 she thinks she’s all that after getting one acting gig
➥ user13 y’all are so obsessed with her hello..
ynuser sure. now i know
➥ user14 oh im having so much fun watching all this go down
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ynuser more bts because i love scream 6 and so should you!
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tomblyth yeah the movie’s cool and all but how abt i treat you out for dinner?
➥ user15 HELLO???
user16 enemies to lovers era ?
user17 pls lord get these two together
jackchampion say yes to the dinner invite and bring me back steak
➥ ynuser 🤨🤨
➥ jackchampion and a vanilla soda too please
user18 i love jack n yn’s friendship
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ynuser and tomblyth both posted a story!
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ynuser eating sushi and then putting on some comfy pjs is a great way to spend a day
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user19 the way tom also posted sushi pics very similar to what she’s eating…
➥ user20 WHY IS NOBODY MENTIONING THE MATCHING HOTDOG STORY POSTS AS WELL 😭😭😭
user21 pjs TOGETHER?! im afraid we’ve lost her
user22 everybody knows.. everybody knows
jackchampion splendid way to spend the day
➥ user23 what if it’s jack?? tom and yn don’t even fw each other LOL
➥ user24 true. he did ask her for dinner tho
➥ user25 who wouldn’t? she’s yn.
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Eclaté_Mode On this new episode of BTS With Your Favorites, Tom Blyth dishes on his skincare routine, how he keeps himself productive during breaks, and his internet rivalry with actress, Y/N Avocot. Full video linked in bio
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user26 THE WAY HE COMPLIMENTS YN this is definitely enemies to lovers
user27 “me and yn have exciting need to share soon” excuse me
user28 so they inlove or what
user29 yn fell inlove with a brit man it’s over for US
user30 WAIT WHAT DOES HE MEANNNN
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tomblyth well surprise. enemies to lovers much?
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ynuser nice pic send me it
user31 WAITT RACHEL HIM AND YN IN A FILM?? did not expect this..
user32 hold awn..
user33 is this confirmation they’re dating
➥ ynuser we aren’t dating.
➥ rachelzegler yet.
➥ user34 RACHEL???
rachelzegler you’re welcome for this crossover, i encouraged both of them to audition for the role
➥ user35 WE LOVE RACHEL ZEGLER
jennaortega take care of my gf 😽
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kenananamin · 6 months
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Nanami as a girl dad
Nanami is a girl dad, I will not argue or fight on this but if you think he's not... i got news for you ANYWAYS these are my Nanami headcanons as the best husband and dad and what he would do as a girl dad during pregnancy, birth, and actually raising the baby
takes a personal day off work to take you to your doctor's appointments then takes you to brunch and a movie. will hold your hand the whole time
fought HR/managers/supervisors/ANYONE for as much paternity leave as he could get
asked if he could work from home bc he doesn't want to miss a single moment of your pregnancy or newborn baby
sits on the floor to talk to his baby girl and holds your tummy saying that he's holding her hand
made 20 copies of the sonogram picture and kept them all. there's a copy in his wallet, behind his phone case, in the glove compartment, and in every suit jacket pocket close to his heart. he likes to brag about his girls (you and baby)
comes back from the store with more diapers and wipes bc "we need to be prepared"
bookmarks blog posts talking about how to bond with your baby
reads every book he can and asks the doctor more questions than any other dad who comes into the office
will ask anyone he trusts for advice, but gets defensive when someone tells him to do something differently
takes naps with his head on your lap and his lips touching your belly
has two hospital bags ready in the closet but has an emergency one in the trunk... just in case
does not sleep the whole time you're in labor even when the nurses tell him to "rest before the baby gets here"... that gets him more excited and doesn't let him sleep
tells you to dig your nails into his arm if you need to when you start pushing. kisses your entire face when the baby starts to cry and rushes to the nurse holding her to ask if they could stamp the baby's feet on his shirt/gown before cleaning her (a/n: my dad did this with me and it is the cutest thing ever. we still have the gown with the tiny feet stamped on there)
carefully takes off the shirt/gown and immediately wants to do skin-to-skin contact after you hold the baby first
follows baby to the hospital nursery and takes pictures of sleeping baby to change his wallpaper
changes wallpaper every two days bc "she did something cute" or "sticking her tongue out" or "giving me the stink eye"
loves waking up with her at night bc besides letting you rest... it's daddy-daughter time so don't interrupt
demonstrates what tummy time is while she lays on her baby bouncer (you laugh bc it's ridiculous and she's only a couple weeks old)
buys scrapbook and disposable cameras to start an album (the first of a hundred probably)
buys special clips for crib blankets to be tight and immovable around mattress bc he kept reading about possible suffocation
either way, does not like for her to sleep in her own room so he buys an extra baby moses to put in your room
has an extra diaper bag in his car bc he likes impromptu trips to let mommy rest
sulking when he has to go back to work
finds remote job within the next month
sits baby down on his lap while be works and she plays with her toy
throws an intimate 1st bday party first then a second one the next weekend to invite anyone he's ever talked to and brag about his family
literally kicks his feet and giggles with his daughter then stands up to be the most intimidating man to anyone else
tears of joy when you're pregnant again and sobs when they say it's a girl
carries his girls with him everywhere he goes
is proud that he's raising strong women who will learn how to fight for themselves. keeps reminding himself that he's raising the next generation and that fuels a fire deep inside him
let's the girls play with his hair and put all the clips they can find around the house on his head
lets his fingers and toes be horribly painted while he reads the newspaper and leaves the house with those nails
gets teary eyed on the first day of school and waits outside the school the whole day for a week (paid time off used)
can only do simple pony tails and braids but loves waking the girls up, sitting them on his lap and doing their hair while you get them dressed
making cute lunches for the girls with you is one of his favorite parts of the day
likes dressing the girls alike or the same and has a strange obsession with buying them overalls
loves playing barbie with them and lowkey has a favorite barbie
goes toy shopping behind mommy's back and tells the girls that this is the only secret that they can ever ever keep
randomly brings back flowers for every single one of his girls
takes his girls (you and daughters) on group and individual dates
makes the girls sign a contract written in crayon stating they "will love daddy forever"... frames it and puts it in his office
cries tears of joy AGAIN when you're pregnant with another girl... and looks for a bigger house
rips off door side where he was marking the girl's height and puts it in the new house. he did not believe in marking/tracing it on another thin piece of wood and said he wanted the original
takes everyone out for dessert every Friday and checks in on each kid to see how they're feeling and if they're ok
never misses a single game, recital, rehearsal, practice, ANYTHING
takes his daughters to their first self-defense class
does not believe in violence and does not condone it... but will first ask the girls if they won the fight (strongly insinuates that he will be disappointed if someone kicks their ass)
corrects the girls when needed and has a special look to tell them to stop messing around
later goes to apologize if he ever uses the look
will ask the girls for a sleepover and will throw every blanket on the floor to make one huge bed
tells the girls to follow him as he does repairs around the house or on the car bc they "need to know how it all works and how to deal with it"
is shocked when you're pregnant again (even though he likes to do a certain something that leads to babies) but is REALLY SHOCKED when it's a boy this time
reminds the girls that they have to be nice and helpful with their brother
starts all the reading and bookmarking all over again, but his time on how to raise a gentleman
raises the best little dude and let's the girls show him everything he has shown them so far
okaaaay okay i know i said he's a girl dad and a girl dad only buuuuut Nanami would raise the best little gentleman ever. AND IMAGINE A MINI NANAMI?!! ... but he's still a girl dad first and foremost
extras:
would absolutely praise his wife and randomly thank her for giving him a family
will wear a disguise and follow daughters to first date
refuses to parentify any of his kids and wants to let them be kids
constantly reminds them that they only get to be kids for a short amount of time then they have to be adults for the rest of their lives. so be silly
is always down for a quiet drive if anyone needs to clear their head
dreads the day when he will no longer he able to carry his kids on his shoulders
has already made mental plans for every possible situation the kids may create, even the absolutely crazy ones his brain has imagined
is very open w the girls and talks about safety in intimacy
leaves cute notes during bad or iffy days and writes motivational quotes on their mirrors with dry-erase markers
loves when you say he's a dilf
tries to talk to them about the stock market
passes his budgeting king crown to the kids
feels super cool when his kids brag to their friends about him, even puffs his chest a little bit
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kuiinncedes · 2 years
Text
prof asked for music again for our end of meeting team chat blast 🤩😂😌
#10 healed 4 revived or something idk how that meme works lmao#EXCEPT OFC WHEN SHE ASKS I IMMEDIATELY FORGET EVERY SONG EVER#she asked for like a song to play to like be excited about school kinda not rly about school lol but like that kinda vibe since we're going#back soon and i couldn't rly think of anything and for some reason i landed on little league by conan lolll#which is honestly more like .... bruh it's literally saying why did i ever have to leave little leage dsjghdf everyone else is like excited#for classes and i'm like haha get me out of here XD not rly but i think i'm more nervous and uncertain than excited 🤪#but if anyone listens to that (i'm not listening to the other songs bc .. i dont like listening to new music XD) they're gonna be like#back to school ...... ok lol#should've said disaster lol THIS COULD BE A DISASTER basically how i feel about myself kinda winging college rn 😭🤪#also she did not give me enough time i was like gonna see if i could look at spotfiy rq and she was like i'm gonna give u 30 seconds and i#was like WAIT lmao#the only other thing i could think of at the moment was overdrive bc that's the song i Wish i answered last time she asked for a song lol#maybe i could've said greek god lol now i'm looking at spotify XD#sue me to get into like a badass mindset lmao idk#or looking at me lol#omg SURFACE PRESSURE lol it's a bop to get you like an upbeat song and also a whole school mood :P#anyway at least it's a good song 😌 no one can listen to that and be like ew what is her music taste bc little league is top fucking tier#/hj#but probably no one's rly gonna listen to them lol the prof says she will so 👀 i just want her to ask about music more lmao#or like have us create a whole research team playlist and let me flex my music taste rq XD#jk idk if my music taste is actually good but it's good af to me 😤 which is what matters 😤 lol anyway#jeanne talks
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rinhaler · 2 months
Note
OMG HI I LOCW UR WORKS U ARE SO TALENTED THAT MEGUMI KNW WITH THE GUN?? JAW DROPPED SCREAMING DLENCHING THE TOES WANT TO LICK THE SCREEN
anyways i love you and everything you write <3 was thinking about ex babysitter jujutsu kaisen guy.. envisioning geto or sukuna or gojo (???) idk but they like used to make fun of u and be a little angel for the parents n stuff but seeing them again but ur all grown up and a little spicy reunion !! n they’re like 5-7 yrs older so yum
got so so so carried away as usual but this was so fun to write.. i made it satoru and suguru bc i thought it would be fun :3
warnings: 18+ MDNI, slight dubcon, fem!reader, age gap (reader 20s + them 30s), childhood crush to lovers?, alcohol consumption, love bites, tit sucking, praise, slight cucking?, double penetration (one hole), spanking, hair pulling, squirting, slight pussy eating, creampies, snowballing, pet names (sweetheart, baby).
words: 2.3k
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It’s been months since you got to see a movie in the theatre. You don’t even remember the last time, or what you saw. But you’ve been counting down the days until you and your best friend finally had a day off work that lined up with each other. Why you’ve been craving seeing a movie, you’ll never know. But what you’ve been most excited for is the food.
Nothing has caught your eye, but your friend points out a cheesy sounding horror movie that you’re happy to see.
“Satoru? Is that you?” you ask, a familiar head of white hair catching your eye as you and your friend walk closer to him, seeing him leave the cinema screen you’re about to walk into. “Oh my God, I haven’t seen you since I was…”
“Wow,” he chuckles. “Look at you, all grown up. Yeah, it’s been a long time.” he continues. Your eyes meet the stare of the woman on his arm.
She smiles, but you see it’s disingenuous. Her body language is clingy and affectionate, desperately holding onto Satoru’s arm as she urges him to leave with her. You aren’t surprised that she’s trying to lead him away, but you are taken aback that someone has managed to tie the Satoru Gojo down. He was always popular with girls back when he used to babysit you, but he was never one for commitment or staying faithful.
“You two make a cute couple.” you smile at them both, trying to put the girl at ease. It doesn’t work, however. Instead, it seems to make her more nervous.
“It’s our first date.” Satoru informs you. He sighs a little as she pulls at his t-shirt, and it’s less than discreet. “We’re going to dinner later, so we better get going. It was nice seeing you though.” he smiles.
“Wait,” you stop him. “Um, are you still in touch with Suguru?” you wonder.
He smirks at that. He always teased you about having a crush on his best friend after the first time he brought him over for babysitting duty. They didn’t come as a pair every time after that, but it was more often than not. He made your heart race and you lost all ability to form a coherent sentence. You knew he’d never be interested in you; he was older and cooler than you’d ever hope to be.
“Of course. You know what? Here, give me your phone.” he tells you. The girl’s eyes fill with water, a look of defeat in a battle you weren’t even participating in overwhelms her. He quickly types his number into your phone and texts himself so that you can exchange contact information. “We can arrange a little reunion, yeah? See you around.” he winks before leading his date away.
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A whole fortnight has passed before any plans come to fruition. That cinema trip is a distant memory that has been replaced with flirty texts in the group chat Satoru decided to make with you and Suguru.
It’s like being a teenager again.
Satoru’s teasing is ceaseless. Everything is so casual and generic in the group chat save for the occasional comment about your crush on Suguru back in the day. But it’s worse in the private messages. Now that you’re older and wiser he sees no point in holding back. He’s so flirtatious and grotesque and vulgar all at once.
Your conversations with Suguru, however, are a lot more reserved. Your fingers tremble whenever he texts. And the conversation is a lot sparser in comparison to how you talk with Satoru.
He’s sweet and kind, but you wonder if he’s just tolerating you for Satoru’s sake.
Satoru: are u cooking for us?
You: we’re getting takeout 🙄
You smirk at your phone as you continue to read the bombardment of heartbroken messages from Satoru, disappointment from the lack of a home-made meal. You can’t even tell if he’s being serious or kidding. You laugh, nonetheless. Though you’re easily startled when hear your doorbell ring.
As you open the door, you have to will yourself from allowing your jaw to drop. Pocketing your phone as you look up at Suguru. That handsome youthful face ageing into a more mature and chiselled one. It makes your heart skip a beat, but you try to downplay it.
“H-Hey!” you smile. “Nice to see you, it’s been forever.”
“It has, hasn’t it?” he smiles too, walking into your home when you move aside. He follows you to the kitchen, watching your every move as you pour two glasses of wine for yourselves. “I’m glad you got in touch.”
You continue to converse as you lead him to the front room and sit side by side on the couch. Neither of you seem to notice how time flies as you chat and reminisce about the days he used to come over to keep Gojo company while he babysat you.
As if you weren’t old enough to stay home without a sitter. That hardly helped your ability to seem cool for your age. And Satoru didn’t fail to tease you about that either.
“I always thought your little crush on me was sweet.” he laughs. “But I was too old for you, then.”
“I know.” you nod, taking a sip of the red liquid sloshing around your glass. “Do you remember that time Satoru invited two girls over?” you ask, face filling with heat as you recall the embarrassing incident.
“Oh,” he chuckles lightly, like a memory has been unlocked in the back of his head. “You locked yourself in your room and wouldn’t come out all night. Even after we sent them home.”
“I was jealous!” you try to defend yourself. “I was such a lame little pre-teen and then these gorgeous girls with perfect skin and perfect hair came over and you guys were hooking up and I was just… heartbroken!” you clutch your hand to your chest dramatically and begin to laugh as you try and make light of the memory.
He breathes, a soft smile prominent of his face as he thinks about it some more. The girls in question were the pretty, popular, cheerleader types. Everything you wanted to be, everything you wanted Suguru to see you as. And yet, you weren’t even close to achieving that reality. And still, he told them to go. Satoru felt bad for upsetting you, too. So they didn’t hesitate to tell them they had to leave.
“I remember sitting with Satoru outside of your bedroom door the whole time. You didn’t even use the bathroom.”
“Oh my God,” you laugh. “I ran to the bathroom after you left. And then I cried to my mom all night about how devastated I was.”
He thinks to himself, putting down his glass of wine on the coffee table before he looks at you. Your body freezes, worried you’ve offended him or creeped him out. A slew of words run rampant in your mind as you try and formulate an apology.
You’re taken aback, however, when he cups your face and slowly tilts his head before kissing you. It’s everything your teenage self had ever dreamed of. You want to drop your own glass to the floor and cup his face in turn as it deepens. But he pulls away, leaving you breathless and longing.
“We’re not kids anymore.” he whispers.
You put down your glass beside his, before lunging in for another kiss. He lets you push him back against the couch, stripping yourself of your sweater so you’re down to just your bra. He smooths his hands over your hips, watching you eagerly as he awaits your next move.
“We’ll have to be quick.” you tell him. “Satoru will be here soon.”
You bend down to make out with him again, keening as he expertly unhooks your bra. His lips latch around your nipple before you’ve even realise he’s tossed your bra halfway across the room. Your hips roll against his clothed bulge, still in a state belief that this is even happening.
“I always wanted you to be my first.” you confess, and he halts his actions momentarily. “But I’m glad… I can fuck you properly instead.”
He allows you to help him out of his own shirt, neither of you capable of keeping your hands off each other for more than a second. Even less than that for your lips. Each sentence is hushed and hurried as you try and navigate this new and exciting development in what was meant to be a casual, friendly, reunion.
“So you’ve got experience now, huh?” he asks, kissing your neck greedily as he thinks about how much you’ve grown in the last decade. “You know how to fuck like a good girl?”
You nod, dumbly, kissing his neck in turn before traversing down his sculpted body. You both freeze, however, when the doorbell rings again. Your eyes widen in horror as you realise all of your clothes are scattered across the front room. There’s no way you can get dressed quick enough. Maybe it would be better to pretend you aren’t home. That you ran out because you forgot something at the store.
“It’s open.” Suguru yells, your heart pounding even faster than it had previously.
Satoru swaggers in as you sheepishly look in his direction with your arms across your chest, doing all you can to preserve your modesty.
“Wow.” he sneers, a teasing lilt in his tone as he looks at you both. Sweaty and dazed, though one of you seems to look less embarrassed than the other. “I knew this would happen.”
“It’s not what it looks—”
“Your tits are in his face and I can see a bruise forming on your neck, sweetheart.” he interjects, getting closer to you both. “I’m not judgin’. Why would I?” he smiles.
You can’t help but feel like you’ve been set up.
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“Oh fuck,” you moan, “It’s too much Satoru. I can’t. I can’t. Y-You’ll have to wait your turn!” you protest as he prods at your already occupied cunt. But despite your whining he continues to push himself inside of you, determined to stretch you to your very limit. He shudders at the sight of your pussy swallowing his tip and doing all it can to spit it back out.
He’s been watching on the sidelines, patiently, as Suguru fucks you in the comfort of your own bed. Palming himself as he gets off to the image of his best friend’s cock drilling into your perfect little cunt. He thought he could be patient, but he was sorely mistaken. He’s seen with his own two eyes how well you can ride cock, but he wants to see how well you can handle getting railed.
He pushes you down towards Suguru has his palm splays across your back. You’re soon comforted by the feeling of his lips on yours, though you break away to moan as Satoru inches in further and further. His cock flush against his best friends without a single care, revelling in the sounds of your ragged breath and desperate whimpers.
“I can’t wait, baby. You’re swallowin’ this cock so good. Just take it, yeah?” he tells you, slapping your ass as he starts fucking you slowly.
“You look so pretty full of cock, sweetheart. Does it feel good?” Suguru asks as he plants his feet down onto the mattress and starts to fuck you in tandem.
You nod as a response, yelping as you feel Satoru’s fingers interlace with your hair and yank you up towards him. Your sweat coated back pressed flush against his chest. His free hand holds your hips while he uses your hair to his leverage as his pace becomes brutal. Your pussy oozes and gushes as they each poke and prod and fondle you through their eager assault.
Suguru’s hands wander to pinch and slap your tits, his lip bitten raw as he gets off to the sight of your flesh jiggling and bouncing in all of the right ways.
You squeak, unable to utter a single word or even so much as moan as you begin to squirt from the pleasure. The feeling is enough to have Suguru tumbling over the edge right after you while Satoru wraps his arm around you to play with your clit.
“Again.” he orders, pulling you away from Suguru so that he can kneel in front of your twitching pussy.
The pleasure builds again. Harder, slower, but finally you snap. Your cunt gushes divinely and Suguru savours every last drop. Satoru finishes deep as his balls tighten and he moans pathetically in your ear. But he doesn’t give you or himself a second to relax as he hooks his arms under the bends of your knees, spreading you open wide so that your combined coupling drips out of your hole.
Suguru buries his face in your cunt, slurping up the mess created by the three of you. He sticks his tongue out to show you the lewd combination of your fluids, before looking at Satoru with lust filled eyes. Satoru leans in to kiss him, accepting the tangy tasting mixture into his own mouth before looking down at you.
“Your cunt tastes beautiful, sweetheart.” Suguru tells you as he lightly spanks your clit.
Satoru forces you to look in his direction as he holds your jaw, prompting you to open your mouth wide for him. He kisses you passionately, encouraging you to follow his lead and welcome to lewd fluids onto your own awaiting tongue. You gasp as the taste hits you, but before you can object, he covers your mouth and pinches your nose with one hand.
“Swallow it like a good little girl.” he orders, and you do.
He lets you go after that, though your body just goes limp in his arms. He helps you lie down next to Suguru as he spoons you, and your childhood crush peppers you skin in delicate kisses as you begin to drift off.
“I’m glad I went to see that shitty movie the other day.” Satoru smirks.
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© 2024 rinhaler
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@enchantedforest-network
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inf3ct3dd · 7 months
Text
ellie headcanons pt.3,,,!!
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warnings: mentions of boobs, ass (lmao) , mild sexual content, use of the d-slur (jokingly)
content: loser!ellie x reader :3 my pookieeee
authors note: these r actually my favorite things to write ever like im so glad yall like them :333
pt. 2. taglist!!! masterlist!!!!
☆ REALLY likes beef jerky. she’ll just sit there and chew…
- her hands r just constantly freezing. like DEAD PERSON COLD ITS SCARYYYY!!! she definitely uses ur boobs as handwarmers and its JARRING because her hands are actually so cold 😞😞!!!
- HER FEET TOO!!! she has some sort of circulation issues bc you’ll be in bed together and she’ll put her feet on you and you’ll just turn into a cartoon ice cube 😕😕
- the SECOND u have some sort of drama she is seated. like she is so MESSY she will talk shit abt someone she knows absolutely nothing abt just bc u don’t like them. anyone you hate she hates 💪🏽💪🏽
- speaking of she is literally so sassy 😞😞 like she will literally full body turn away from you and look at the window while you drive if she’s mad at you.
- every time you say something even remotely sexual she’s looking at you like 🤨 and trying not to laugh. if you texted her “im coming” she’d burst out laughing and write back like “geez we’re just going to the zoo…didn’t know u were THAT excited”
- has the humor of a middle school boy. she has an actual problem w deez nuts jokes 😞😞 she thinks its SOOOO FUNNY to give u fake backshots whenever you bend over around her. fake moans and everything 💔💔
- a pharb AND a barb. she definitely knows all of super bass by heart, and she knows how to play savior complex on the guitar. duality of women!!!
- every time you say something nice to her she’s like “ew thats gay” and then she gets upset when u get upset for it 😞 so RUDE actually!!!
- really likes doing facemasks with you because you always put them on for her, and because you look really stupid with them on.
- this video. js this whole video like!!! she definitely has that dinosaur hand sanitizer AND that backpack!!
- likes rings cuz she thinks they make her look cool, but she literally cannot keep them for more than a month. they get lost SO EASILY!!!
- knows a concerning amount of things about the roman empire.
- definitely saw the barbie movie with you, and got so embarrassed at the ken guitar scene ☹️ “do i do that??” and you had to hold back laughter and tell her no
- if you have little siblings, they LOVE HER. she is so good with kids its insane. she would definitely do the griddy w ur little brother and you would NEVER let her live it down
- if you take her to a family gathering, she’s either talking with your uncles or hanging out with your younger cousins. she’s scared of your cousins your age bc they’re “cool like you”
- definitely bought you lego flowers at one point and sat on the floor and built them with you
- has those glow-in-the-dark stars on her bedroom ceiling
- would absolutely lick your salt lamp “for science”
- one time you put her hair in pigtails and she wore it the whole day, and refused to let her friends make fun of it cuz her “wife” did them
- talks about you like a 40 year old man talks about his wife. “gotta get home to the wife” definitely has “happy wife happy life!” on a tshirt
- built the two of you a house on minecraft and put your beds next to each otherrrr :((
- carved your name on her skateboard and guitar
- had an AWFUL emo phase in middle school. terrible. was absolutely an avid tumblr user
- such a nerd about vinyls. would take u on dates to her favorite vinyl store, and buy you a new vinyl player because “yours damages your vinyls, and the audio quality is shit” (you randomly bought it on amazon)
- just knows so many facts…about things…. like she’s always talking to you like “oh my god babe did you know that-“
- would get “jealous” of your pets whenever you’d pet them or hold them in front of her. just going up to your cat like “she likes me more than you”
- made herself one of those “i love my girlfriend” tshirts with your face on it
- your dad definitely loves her because they have so much in common. grilling, fishing,camping, she’s like the ultimate dad-dyke
- can fall asleep ANYWHERE. like the second she’s tired she’s just 😴😴 and she’s definitely using you as a pillow
- one time the two of you went to a family party and you found her asleep on two folded chairs
- you’re her wallpaper on all her devices.
- every time you ask her what she’s doing and she’s playing guitar shes like “just fingering my guitar”. she thinks its SOOOO HILARIOUS
- definitely says white ppl shit all the time on accident . one time she said “lets rock and roll” when you two were going somewhere and she literally didn’t talk for 5 minutes cuz you could not stop laughing
- LOVES burts bees !!! her lips always taste like their strawberry chapstick and its wonderful
- has a pair of lightning mcqueen crocs
- LOVESSSS when you paint her nails and do her makeup (she just likes you sitting on her lap)
- definitely one of those girls thats like. obsessed w doctor pepper. its a serious problem 😞😞!!!
- has a little shoe box full of receipts, polaroids of you, and little souvenirs from your dates. :((
- literally melts when you scratch her back
- very into horror games/analog horror. definitely binge watched markipliers “faith” gameplay and talked about it nonstop
- miles morales is def her fave superhero. has so many of his comics and LOVES the spiderverse movies. calls you her gwen 😞😞
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taglist!!! if ur name is crossed i cant tag u :((
@syrenada @dinaissoprettyoml @kingofmylastkiss @as2rid @greencacty @melissabarrerass @bratydoll @lov3lylotus @forelliesposts @echostinn @f3r4lfr0gg3r @r3wbeef @leatheredhearts @mousymaven @mina-281 @princessguardian444 @calystas-morning-tea @horror-whoree @slutshies @bearieio @mag-mfm @bubs-world @paran0id0blivi0n @sawaagyapong @bbygrlshelbs @gayh0rr0r @pl9ys @ellieslilslvvt @dollietes @elliesmellsbadd @ibloom4u @ddreabea @beestar120 @brunettedolls-blog @girlwonderchloe @elliesgflol @maris-koffin @emonopolyman @iloveeyousblog @fr3sh-tragedies @ilovaffles @certifedcrybunny @elleatethat @baldph0bic @clouded-whispers @4rt3m1ss @saggykneecaps @swtsuna @ell1esslutt @minixmel @yuyans-stuff @owmoiralover @thecowardwrites @lunascerebro @elliestrwbrry @iwantsoda @teeveegirl @dinasmoon @urnewghostfriend
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ramons-elevator · 9 months
Text
*SLAMS HANDS ON DESK*
FUCKING PHILS POV
Everything about his POV was bone chilling holy shit. Also fucking shoutout to the admins for picking Chayanne and Tallulah bc that was a really smart move.
For some context for those who arent Philza watchers:
Tallulah and Chayanne obey Phil. Yes they can be divas sometimes and be dumb and silly, but they arent like their siblings like Dapper and Richas who will just be dramatic and do dumb and dangerous stuff when their parents dont feel 100% okay with it. They will throw a fit but still be respectful of Phil’s word.
Phil said multiple times to them, especially Tallulah, to not go to the dinner no matter what. That as soon as it hits 2pm PST, they get tucked into bed and they can wake up after if they want. Chay and Lullah both agreed bc they both fear dying. Tallulah wants to see her dad and Chayanne knows how hard his dad works to make sure they are safe.
Let me fucking tell you how creepy it was seeing Tallulah walk into the dinner.
Phil immediately questioned her and was like “what the fuck you doing? We both agreed you would stay in bed.” and when ‘Tallulah’ just stared at him and shook her maracas, you could feel the air still.
Personally, it felt like a bucket of ice water got dumped on me. Phil literally froze. Because thats not fucking Tallulah. Tallulah is calculated, gentle, and slow moving. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner was shaking her maracas without a care in the world, running around. Also Tallulah will talk to Phil and they check in on each other. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner didnt put down a sign once.
Then as Phil was realizing that Tallulah wasn’t Tallulah, then ‘Chayanne’ comes in. At this point Phil realized that both ‘Tallulah’ and ‘Chayanne’ dont have cracks. Phil straight up looks at ‘Chayanne’ and says “You are fake, you arent my son.” Also same thing with Tallulah, Chayanne and Phil check in with each other. They are a well oiled machine. Phil knows Chayanne like the back of his hand and vise versa.
To be fair, Chayanne isnt an egg of many words. He likes action and just nods/shakes of his head when talking. If need be he will place a sign down, but he doesnt talk as much as Tallulah. So it isnt hard to impersonate him.
But the second, ‘Chayanne’ started punching Phil was again bone chilling. Chayanne rarely hits Phil, maybe once or twice from the top of my head. Again, Chay and Lulah are very respectful of Phil. If they need his attention, they do other ways. They dont hit.
And thats when Phil let Fit know that something was wrong. Those werent his kids. That they are fakes. Around that time, Phil runs home and sees that his actual kids are sleeping. He takes a photo, runs back, and fucking shows ‘Chayanne’. Phil lets the fakes know that he knows and he doesnt give a shit.
At some point, Phil and Fit talk again and ‘Chayanne’ runs up and tries to take the photo from Phil. Phil basically said fuck off and went back to his seat.
The part I find so fucking eerie was that Fit and ‘Chayanne’ had a lil talk. ‘Chayanne’ put down a sign that said something along the lines of “My dad doesnt love me anymore”.
That sign literally made me start to freak out because thats the fucking last thing the real Chayanne thinks. The real Chayanne knows that his dad loves him to death. That Phil would burn this server to the ground if anything bad happened to Chayanne. Chayanne knows that Phil does everything in his power to keep his son alive. He knows how much Phil worries about him and Tallulah (both the characters and the admins).
Going back to what I said at the start, the admins were so fucking smart for picking Chayanne and Tallulah to be the ‘Code eggs’.
People outside of Phil, Fit, Bad, and maybe Forever/Cellbit dont really spend time with Chayanne and Tallulah. Yes, other people do care after them and know them, but they really dont know their mannerisms and quirks. They dont know that Tallulah only shakes her Maracas when she is very excited or have something to say. They dont know that, while Chayanne can be hyper, he usually is very obedient and stays close to Tallulah when he can.
So putting them in a party where the attention isnt on them 100% time is so smart. They can run around and people dont think about it. They just see two eggs running around and having fun. They dont know how wrong it is to see them like that.
Then when the ‘Code eggs’ made themselves known, Phil got kicked. Again very smart from the admins because no one wanted to kill ‘Chayanne’ and ‘Tallulah’ even though they were obviously Codes. Even Fit, who Phil told over and over again that those arent his kids, hit the Codes once or twice but stopped because he didnt wanna take that risk. No one wanted to take the chance of hurting an egg. It gave the ‘Code eggs’ time to kill Charlie and try to kill others.
But the second Phil joins back, he is screaming that those arent his kids and to kill them. That they were impostors. Even then, they let Phil kill the Code eggs.
Then when Code Tallulah died, everyone stepped back and let Phil 1v1 Code Chayanne.
Im so impressed with the admins and the people who played the fake Chayanne and Tallulah. They did such a good job of putting a spear of ice through my heart. 100/10 Bravo
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kaicubus · 1 year
Text
Distraction | Xavier T.
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warnings ✩° : mutual pining, angry(?) confession, teasing, competition, cursing, rivals to lovers, both reader and xavier are 17-18 years old, fluff but also a tad spice.
pairing ✩° : xavier thorpe x fem!reader
premise ✩° :  on the day of the annual poe cup, you're put against your academic rival, xavier thorpe, and you don't want to lose. however, he has other plans of  getting the upper hand with you and knows exactly how to get his way. hes knocking out two birds with one stone, if you will.  
word count ✩° : 3.4k
authors note ✩° : this was done in literally a few hours bc i’m obsessed and it needs to be addressed.
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The rules were simple.
They always have been. Follow what the people in charge told you and don't disappoint. If you disappoint them then you disappoint the whole community and what good are you if you're a disappointment. It was hard not to see school, ground zero for being the best, as a competition. In fact, you thrived working towards a goal of being superior than everyone else; maybe it was due to the fact that no matter what was put in front of you, you could understand it and write it off as done as soon as you wrote your name. However, there were some things you didn't get at times and that frustrated you.
Over the time you’ve known him, it’s been test after test, assignment after assignment, obscure experiment after obscure experiment to prove to this seemingly effortlessly perfect creature that you’re better than him, only for you to miss his mark by one. point.
“Maybe you should think less about being better than me and more about the material, Y/n.” Xavier would say, “But don’t worry, you ALMOST got the same score as me.”
It wasn't his snarky comments or obviously stronger memory than you that made you over the top angry, no, it was the fact that you couldn't understand how he was doing it. Nothing made sense and the feeling of not knowing made looking into his stupid hazel eyes, gazing at his sharp and defined side profile, and wispy long hair all the more annoying. Everything has to have answers. So why did he make your throat tighten every time you spoke to him? Or your face flush with dark shades of pink and red? It had to be anger. There was no other explanation.
All of the rivalry would eventually lead you both up to the annual Poe Cup. A boat race amongst four teams, five members from each house all stuck together on their respective hand crafted boats each representing a different Edgar Allen Poe poem.
You're on The Black Cat team while Xavier’s on The Amontillado team. For a whole week you spend with your team, preparing for the race and to utterly destroy Xavier because this will finally prove to yourself that you’re good at him at something.
“You ready to beat the shit out of Xavier, Y/n?” Your friend who knows your rivalry with the guy smiles at you, “Once WE have that cup he has to realize that all he is to you, is dirt.” She was right.
“Relax, F/n, why ruin my chances with excitement when I can take all of that and shove it in his face at the very end.”
Your other team mate taps you both on your shoulders, “You guys ready? It’s almost time.” With that, you watch everyone file into their boats, Xavier included, and so you and your friend make your way into your own seats. However, just before you adjust your headband on your head, you decide to catch a glimpse of the destined losers on each side of you. Though no one else is important right now other than seeing him, so you give a side eyed glance in Xavier’s direction.
To your surprise, not only is he already looking at you, but, “Is he laughing at me?”
Your friend looks towards Xavier as well and scoffs, “Yeah,” She confirms, “Looks like they all are. Fucking clowns.”
As you chew on the inside of your cheek out of anger, a sudden whistle blows from Ms. Weems accompanied by a large megaphone that amplifies her voice as she speaks.
You can tell out of the corner of your eye that ever since your friend had rudely thrusted her middle finger into the sky for all the jesters to see, Xavier hadn't stopped looking at you. His eyes, laser focused, burned into the side of your head and it only made you more anxious for the race. You bite your lip ever so slightly and fight back the urge to look at him too.
Thankfully, you're saved by a gunshot that explodes into the air and suddenly your team gets pushed into the water.
Of all things, why should you be thinking about Xavier Thorpe and what he has to say or look at you for? All this time, you've convinced yourself that you could care less what he thinks of you. After all, the reason you're trying so hard to be better than him is the very reason that motivates you every day to get up and face him. Otherwise, you'd be locked away in your dorm with nothing to do but attend class and repeat the cycle. In a way, he was your reason to wake up.
“Y/N! Duck!” Your friend suddenly snaps you out of your mechanical like motions of rowing as hard as possible. Wasting no time, you dodge the flying axe coming your way by a hair. “What the hell?! Y/n, focus!”
“I am focused, F/n.”
“No, you're not. You got that lost look in your eyes. Stop thinking about Xavier and maybe pay attention to all the objects being thrown around at us? So you don't die, and most importantly, so we can win this for our hall?”
For the rest of the distance from the starting line to the other end of the lake, you try not to look behind you as looking behind you would only distract you from the prize. All of your team puts in their all in rowing as fast as they can together in sync, each arm pushing at the exact same second as everyone else to really glide through the water. Despite nets being tossed, siren students diving under boats and tipping them over, and very small fire crackers being thrown into other boats, three teams are left remaining to the next stage of the race. Getting the flag.
“Go go go!” F/n pushes you up, “Get the black flag. We’ll be waiting here to look out for anybody.”
Not wanting to waste anymore time, you nod and start sprinting directly into the old, creaky forest. Dry leaves crunch under your feet in threes, making their crinkles the only noise in the entire forest. That’s good, you think, that means no one else came yet. Quickly jumping over logs and rocks, you make your way to the flag destination, only to see that your black flag is missing.
“What the—”
“Hey,” a voice calls out from behind you, “Looking for something?”
The cheesy line doesn't go without an eye roll as you turn around, “Xavier.”
“You don't seem too happy to see me.” Your rival stands with a shit eating grin on his face, comically extenuated with crimson, drippy paint.
You're quick to reply, “I'm not. You took my flag which I need to win this. So hand it over, Thorpe.”
He raises his hands and allows you to charge up to him just close enough so that you're barely touching the tips of his pointed shoes with your jet black boots. “What? Who says I have your flag? I JUST got here in case you hadn't noticed.”
“I actually haven't noticed. Because why would I stop to care about where you are?”
“You seemed to care when we first started.” Xavier leans down and twists his head slightly, just enough for you to be caught off guard and step back, “I saw you looking at me.” His tone makes you shrink back.
Heat rushes to your face in a fleeting panic and almost immediately, your chest twists your rib cage hard enough to squeak out, “I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOU! YOU were looking at ME!”
Xavier raises his brows and chuckles, “I remember differently.”
Of course he has to be cocky now. “Look, Xavier. Just forget this and let me go. Your gross sweat is getting all over me.”
“Oh is that so?”
“YESNOWLETGO.”
He snickers at your flustered nature but decides to go the extra mile and tease you further, “You do realize that we all have to get back, Y/n, its kinda the whole reason why we made it here. Though it looks like its just the two of us.” He turns to both of his sides and then directs his attention back to you, “I’d say we have a little time.”
Again, you emphasize, “WE don't have time. Unlike you, I actually WANT to win. Xavier, I don't know what your deal is or why you're so obsessed with me and making me look like a complete and utter fool, but once I win this for my team, it ends. Do you understand me?”
Xavier exhales deeply, “You know, for someone who’s so high strung and smart, you're really dumb, aren't you?”
“What?”
He steps forward, causing you to back into a tree. You can feel the roughness of the tree bark as it etches its way across the backside of your suit, causing a mildly discomforting feeling that shivers throughout your skin. Before you can move forward, Xavier steps closer, basically eliminating any means of escaping.
“Why am I so obsessed with you? Is that what you think this is? Obsession?”
You look up at him to find his naturally tall stature hunched over to be at eye level with you. Surely, if anyone to walk into the scene, they’d think you two were stopping the competition just to make out. Even though Xavier’s hand is firmly pressed just between your ear and shoulder and he was just over an inch close to you so that your noses are barley touching, it’s not like that at all. Yet, at least.
“That’s what I just asked.” Your eyebrows stitch together bitterly, “Can you not hear, clown? You don’t understand how hard it is for me to watch my reputation die because of you and your perfect grades and your perfect art. What makes you think you can just parade yourself around to be better than me?!” The questions leave a burning sensation in your throat.
“Reputation? Grades? Is that what this is about?”
“YES! Are you DENSE?!”
Instead of matching your violent glower, you watch as the clown leans his head to the side in laughter. His lips parting just enough so you can see his sharp teeth laugh at you too, “Y/n, did you just call me dense? What is that? An insult? At least I’m not the one who always scores lower than me.”
Embarrassment? Anger? Nervousness? Why was his laugh the thing to make you feel weak now? Maybe the first two are theories, but the third is a definite fact. Your eyes are quickly drawn in by his hazel pupils, curious and dilated as they stare back at you. For a moment, the silence between you two isnt filled with hate or rivalry, but peace. That is until he lets out a breathy laugh after getting a good look at your calm face for once.
“Y/n, cat got your tongue? Or do you just not have anything else to say to me other than ‘I hate you’ and ‘stop being better than me’?” He points a finger to your feline head accessory.
"Shut up.” You bark, “Dumb isn’t really a good insult either. You are so full of shit—"
Xavier moves closer, now toe to toe with you and just a breath away from your face.
“God, Y/n, cant you see that I like you? All this time I thought it was so obvious. I mean, how are you going to tell people you're the smartest person in the room when you cant even pick up on subtle hints that basically spell it out for you?” He says, “Or are you too busy to notice anyone other than yourself?”
His words cause your heart to pound once, twice, and before you know it you can’t hear anything but the thumping in your chest and the soft winds surrounding you both. Xavier parts his lips again, determined to give you the answers you've been so desperately searching for. 
“Do you know how fucking exhausting it is to pretend I hate you back, just to have the opportunity to talk to you?” His tone is exasperated and shallow, but he doesn't break eye contact with you, “You seriously thought all those times we got close was because I wanted to be ‘better’ than you in some subject?” Almost like he doesn't believe you, Xavier shakes his head in disapproval, “The only time Ive wanted to prove to you I'm worth something is now.”
His confession only fills your head with more questions, “That doesn't even make any sense! How can you say you didn't actually want to be better than me when that's all you did?” You feel the heat saturate into a dark pink that settles into your cheeks, “And why are you telling me all this now? Why are you so adamant on telling me that you—”
Xavier doesn't even acknowledge your questions, he just continues to hold a burning tension between you and him, focusing only on one thing.
Fuck.
Maybe its the fact hes so close, or that he told you hes liked you all this time, but right now it feels like nothings stopping you from telling him too. It just feels so right.
Before you know it, your mouth opens on its own, your bottom lip trembling for just a second. Xavier’s eyes trail down to your lips, then back into your eyes, and a small smirk pulls the corner of his ivory painted skin up.
Without another second to lose, Xavier tilts even closer than he thought he’d ever be to you and cups your cheek, finding the courage you both need to pull you into an unexpected kiss.
The pastiness of your rival’s white face paint rubs against your dewy skin as the taste of him spreads across your pallet, rough, warm, and agonizingly slow. With a gentle hand, you bunch the back of Xavier’s thin yet airy suit and fall into him, curving just enough so he can extend his hold on you.
Xavier knew that he wanted to touch you. It’s basically been his dream ever since he got close to you and seemingly hurdled himself into being your rival. But he’d never admit that. Or maybe, now he would. Gently, Xavier clasps onto your hips more carefully, securely rubbing his fingers against the skin tight latex uniform you were forced to wear which gives him enough grip to hook his desperate palms onto your body.
You break away for a second, just long enough to look at his face and how mesmerized he is by you and just how fucked you are in this downward spiral of messy feelings and requited love. Love you are much too afraid to commit to. But, Xavier pulls you back into his lips and makes you forget all of your worries, even the one you're supposed to be most worried about. 
The kiss practically captures you for what seems like an eternity, erasing all memory of the Poe Cup and time spent hating Xavier's guts only to now realize that that hate may have been fueled by a painfully simple crush. But you wouldn't admit that either. Though, now there’s no other explanation to the methods behind your madness.
Soon enough, your hands find their rightful place in his long, messy hair, scooting his jester cap off easily. Had you known his hair was this soft before? You always told yourself you didn't care but now it was too hypnotizing not to twirl your fingers in. In fact, it’s practically asking you to grab it and play with it, screaming at you to touch it, touch him.
Xavier’s hips press into yours, giving you the go ahead to adjust your position so that your thigh is comfortably resting atop his hip. The stance feels too natural to be normal, and you're both caught off guard by it. Yet, you continue to taste him and feel him up close without another thought.
Nipping at your bottom lip, you can feel Xavier let out a sigh of relief, as if kissing you has been something on his mind for years. Only half of that could be true. Still, his victory cheer makes you do your own version with a quieter huff.
You give the roots of his hair a tight squeeze before your shoulders relax and another sigh escapes from your now open mouth. The force of his lips smashing against yours pushes you back successfully, leaving each part of your body to surrender to his. For once, you let it and as much as you hate to admit it, whatever he was doing was working.
When he finally pulls away, your breath is harsh and so is his. No matter how hard you could try, looking away from his hazy eyes was not an option. Just like the fog around you both, his gaze is inescapable and suffocating. You knew kissing your rival was a bad idea, but neither one of you want to move your hands from their proper places on each other.
Just then, a distant voice calls out to Xavier that snaps you out of your absentmindedness. “Shit,” Xavier curses softly against your lips, “Thanks for that Y/n,” he pulls away, much to your hidden displeasure, “But...I have a cup to win.”
Suddenly, it all comes hurdling back.
“FUCK! THE RACE!” You tear yourself away from Xavier, breaking the warmth between you both, and scramble to find your flag, “YOU CONNIVING SON OF A BITCH. YOU DISTRACTED ME!”
“I hope you don't mind but I actually sort of hid it.” He grins slyly at you, straightening his suit with a swift rub on his chest, “No rules, remember?” He pulls out a flag from behind him and snickers. Has he had that this entire time?
A flash of surging anger fumes inside of your chest, but Xavier just smiles. In his mind, it’s almost laughable how you fell for his devious yet successful confession slash plan. It was too good to pass up. And judging by the sour pout on your face, it worked!
“Y/n,” He chirps, “Was I a good distraction?” He can’t help but ask.
You avoid his gaze and turn your head to other possible directions your flag can be in, “You're the worst, Xavier.”
He runs a hand through his brown hair and smooths it down, “Right, right. You hate me. But I got you pretty good, didn’t I?” He picks up his jester cap and lazily smashes it onto the top of his head, “I'm gonna go, but, you should totally meet me in my dorm tonight? At 8?”
He makes his hasty exit before you can reply, leaving you breathless and weak in the knees—mostly tight fisted and furious, but still, weak in the knees.
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“So, Y/n. Do you want to explain why you...left for so long..?” Your teammate asks, kind of scared to ask in the first place but confusion was eating her alive. How fitting.
Instead of answering, you reply with strong and swift robotic motions that quickly thunk your boat along the shore line, taking a good chunk out of the grass and soil. Unfortunately, half way through your synchronized rowing, some water kicked up into the boat and soaked your costume. You didn't care though. All you wanted was Xavier.
And his head on a stick.
Sounds of congratulatory cheers erupt from the crowd as Xavier and the rest of his jester-like teammates hold up the Poe Cup trophy together.
“Bitch.” Is all you can say when all your other teammates wash up next to you, sad, defeated, and soaked with murky lake water.
“Well get them next time, Y/n. Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Your friend smiles happily.
Yeah. Tonight.
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