#BURN AND BUUUUURN
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The hold 🎶Burn Butcher Burn🎶 has on me is so funny
Like i think i got it out of my system that im fine but then it pops up again and here i am listening to it for another week screaming along with Jaskier
#lol#i didn't even finish season 2 yet#not cause i dont like it but cause i eother watch something in one go or 5 year no in-between lol#anyways#time to listen to burn butcher burn for the next couple of hours#burn butcher burn is my year long fixation song#not even we dont talk about bruno lasted this long LOL#or not even my other fixation song lasted this long#🎶🎶BUUUUUURN BUTCHER BUUUUURN 🎶🎶#burn butcher burn#jaskier#julian alfred pankratz#joey batey#the witcher
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Midsommar 🌑
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uh oh, morgan has a crush on her roommates significant other and she’s trying to ignore it as much as possible…it’s just really hard to do that when they both seem to have a strong connection and morgan falls a little harder whenever they talk.
When her gaze moves away from the stove she expects to see her roommate walking in, but she is greeted by the one person who causes the butterflies in her stomach to start to flutter. “Don’t you dare think I’m going to let you steal any of this this time.” It seems like the two keep seeing one another late into the night, Morgan can’t sleep because she’s busy working on editing her most recent film and well…she doesn’t know what has them up so late. She turns back to the mac and cheese cooking in the pot, giving it a little stir. “What has you up this late? Is Cam forcing you to re-watch Gossip Girl too?”
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This is so bad, but some ships I hate have come under some serious fire lately and I’m just delighting in the chaos
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Want To Voice Act In A Massive Multivoice Podfic?
Characters That Still Need To Be Voiced:
AZIRAPHALE
CROWLEY
ANATHEMA
NEWTON
BEELZEBUB
GABRIEL
MURIEL
SANDALPHON
WARLOCK
Quantum Entangled
Fic Summary:
They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked.
---
AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.
Rating: Mature
Words: 51,266
Relationships:
Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)
Characters:
Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling
Additional Tags:
Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed
Language: English
#fanfiction#fanfic#crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#ao3#archive of our own#aziracrow#aziraphale#ineffable husbands fic recs#ineffable husbands fic rec#QuEn#podfic#azicrow#good omens brainrot#ineffable idiots#ineffable spouses#ineffable partners#good omens memes#good omens shitpost#Aziraphale
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Astarion: *leaves his tent one morning* OH! OH GODS! THE SUN! I CAN FEEL IT AGAIN! IT BURNS! IT BUUUUURNS *HISSES AGGRESSIVELY WHILE FLAILING AROUND*
Tav: OH MY GOD! ASTARION ARE YOU OK?! GET BACK IN YOUR TENT!! QUICK!! *PURE PANIC*
Astarion: *chuckles* I'm just pulling your leg, sweetheart. I'm fine..
Tav: ....*frowns*
Astarion: Quite the actor, aren't I? *silly giggle*
~
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Quantum Entangled - Chapter 8
Fic Summary:
They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.
Rating: Mature
Words: 62,152
Relationships:
Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)
Characters:
Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling
Additional Tags:
Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed
Language: English
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burn butcher buuuuurn
#original luo binghe#shen jiu#original shen qingqiu#sqq#lbh#svsss#mxtx#my art#sir they are in love#abusive but thats how i like it eyy#theyre delicious#sj could spit in o!lbh's face and he would love it#wife 💖
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F: ...My lord, Termina, you know I'm not a righteous child, No virtue, I am far from justly proud...
My Lord, Termina, you know I am not purer than, the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd...
But tell me, Termiiina, why do I see him judging there? Why do those greenish eyes still scorch my soul?
I see him, I see him.
The flames caught in his silver fur, are blazing in me out of my control...
LIKE, FIIIIRE, HELLFIIIIRE, THIS, FIIIIRE, IN MY SKIN!
This burning... Cruel vengeance, it's turning me to SIN.
...
HELLFIIIIRE, DARK FIIIIRE, NOW PEOPLE, IT'S YOUR TURN.
IT WAS ME OR, THE PYRE. YOU'LL PAY AND YOU SHALL BURN!
...
Void, have mercy on him...
Void, have mercy on me...
But he will pay and.... THEY. WILL. BUUUUURN!
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This will be the last one. I really need to get this out of my head sorry ~
Sophie: Truth or dare?
MC: Dare
Sophie: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room.
MC: Harper?
Harper, Suprised and blushing: Yes?
MC: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Dante
Gavin: BURN BABY BUUUUURN! *dying of laughter*
YOU'RE GOING TO KILL THIS MAN DEAD KSKAJGNFJNF
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Cinder: Buuuuurn! Why aren't you burning?!
Jaune: Uh, Black Irish, Cindy. I never burn. Only tan.
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GOODNESS~! Guess someone's gonna have to buuuuurn their flat down, unless... The great Sherlock Holmes isn't a man of his word...
-JM
Oh god oh no. Burn everything and dissolve the ashes in acid.
Wait no you are just lying, aren't you? You are just trying to trick me, to derail me.
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was slicing jalapeños for some pepper plum jam and my hands have been burning non stop since and i wanna cry lol i've washed them like 8 times and even scrubbed with olive oil and they still buuuuurn
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(i have no idea how OnlyFans works, so, uh, whatever. LOL thanks group chat!!!)
Heather wakes up to her phone dinging.
WAKE UP, GIRL, NEW CHIP REVIEW INCOMING, Julie’s message thread screams. Heather scrambles out of her blankets and kicks free, grabbing her laptop. He never gives them lead-up time, the asshole; they’ll get maybe five minutes before the stream goes live at all hours of the day (and night), and as a result, Heather’s had to deal with her phone notifications all night just to ensure she doesn’t miss one of the reviews.
She pulls up OnlyFans, grateful that she lives alone in a crappy studio apartment and gets her own credit card bills now, so her parents can’t see that monthly charge. Yikes. Having to explain that one would be a nightmare.
Her phone dings again. Some monstrosity from Japan that was sent to his P.O. Box.
Fucking amazing, Heather writes back.
The video starts up. It always starts empty, because Hook films all his own videos in the laziest way possible and doesn’t seem to have a camera with a count-down. He slides onto the screen in a hideous neon green sweatshirt and holds up the bag of chips, which sports three pictures of fire, something in Japanese that Heather can’t read, and in English, CALBEE KAATAGE - GRILLED SEAWEED.
“Girl, no,” Heather says to her computer screen. “What in the hell...”
Her phone lights up. The chat says someone paid $100 to get him to wear that sweatshirt.
It’s hurting my eyes!! Heather returns. At least Hook’s good looks help neutralize the glaring hue of the sweatshirt. Last week, it had been hot pink camo. Heather and Julie are planning to go in together to see if they can’t pay enough to get him to wear a sweatshirt with the bisexual flag colors.
Hook sits down on his couch that looks like he fished it out of a landfill. Really, it’s all part of his weird charm. The number of viewers along the bottom leaps up past two hundred, then three hundred, and then five hundred as everyone logs on to try and catch the latest reaction. Hook opens the bag of weird Japanese chips and takes one out, studying it for a few moments before popping it in his mouth. He chews. Heather sucks in a quick breath, afraid to move.
Then he sort of nods, frowning. “Hmm.”
Oh, he didn’t like that one! Julie’s text reads. Buuuuurn.
The feed cuts out. Heather updates the list of flavors she’s keeping on her laptop with the verdict. Then she swings her legs out of bed to get ready for work, glad that Hook decided to start the stream at a more sensible time this morning. The 3 AM ones are killing her.
++
The next one is three days later. They’re starting to pick up now that everyone is sending shit to his P. O. Box, trying to track down the most insane flavors available. Heather’s already on her computer watching YouTube, so she tabs over to OnlyFans when the notification email startles her out of her reverie.
When the video starts up this time, the chip bag is in front of the camera.
Oh my god, Julie texts. Holy shit it’s the one chip challenge.
Who the fuck sent him this?? Heather writes back.
Hook settles on his couch, holds up one finger. Oh my god, he’s really going to do it. He might burn his tongue clean off, and then where would they be? Heather can’t survive without the chip reviews. Hook then holds up a glass of milk, so at least he’s smart enough to be prepared. But still, Heather is almost afraid to watch. (His sweatshirt is dotted with red hearts; definitely something someone sent in for him to wear.)
Then the chat on the side of Heather’s screen blows up, capslock for miles.
HOLY SHIT, Julie says. DANHAUSEN IS HERE.
HE SENT IT, Heather returns. YOU KNOW HE DID.
She’s pretty sure she’s right when, in the chat, Danhausen’s weird little painted-face emoji says: hook has the spicy chip! perhaps he should take his sweatshirt off?
“YES, BAE,” Heather exclaims, pumping her fists in the air.
On screen, Hook squints, focusing on the comment. Then he sighs, rolling his eyes in a grand show, before standing up and pulling the sweatshirt free over his head. The chat, as expected, goes nuts again. Hook’s been hitting the gym or something--his shoulders look broader. It’s impossible to see that under the bulky sweatshirts he wears all the time. Heather likes to focus on the tattoo near his left collarbone on the rare occasions when the stream finally nudges down a direction OnlyFans is better known for.
yes, very good, Danhausen says in the chat. Heather could kiss his weird clown emoji for making her day so much better. the fanhausens are happy now.
Hook gives the video feed a middle finger, and then pops the chip in his mouth. Chews. Furrows his brow. “Eh.”
Anticlimactic, Julie writes.
But then Hook starts coughing. Heather loses it, because it’s always the part that comes after that gets people. She laughs so hard she nearly snorts water out her nose as Hook scrambles around on the screen for the glass of milk. In his flailing, he manages to knock the whole thing over.
Oh no!! Julie’s text says.
Suddenly, Heather is afraid Hook will actually die and then her will to live will follow.
oh, oh, hold please, Danhausen says in the chat. Then he disappears, his emoji vanishing.
Hook’s stumbled off-screen, but his harsh coughs are still audible. Heather stares at the shadows along the back of his couch. In the background, a door opens, a clicking latch. Then, the sound of glass against a countertop. Mumbling that’s not at all comprehensible over the sound of Hook’s continued hacking.
Finally, Hook sits back down with a new glass of milk. It seems to help. He glares at the camera and gives the feed a thumbs down.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Julie says. What just happened. Someone was in there with him.
Was DANHAUSEN in there with him?? Heather fires back.
OH MY GOD, Julie screams. ARE THEY DATING. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS.
The stream ends. Heather thinks she might expire.
Holy shit, she types. Holy shit. That’s why D is the only one who can ask for Hook to take his sweatshirt off without getting IMMEDIATELY banned.
We should have known he wasn’t single, Julie mourns. My whole 10-year life plan is ruined.
Yeah, Heather’s going to have to rework some things on her vision board. She sighs. But, on the flip-side, at least Hook isn’t dead, and she’ll get to keep watching the chip reviews.
It’s the little things.
#this is easily the most insane thing i have ever written#but oh ho the group chat has spoken#and this is what came out of it
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1995. Buuuuurn!
Leia: I can’t wait for Christmas shopping! Especially for the amount of ugly sweaters on sale.
Ozzie: I don’t think you’d have to wait till Christmas to wear an ugly sweater.
Leia: Fuck you Ozzie. At least I can pull off an ugly sweater.
Jay: Burn!
*Leia and Jay high five and kiss.*
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Quantum Entangled - Chapter 8
Fic Summary:
They fit together like the answer to a question they didn’t know they were asking. Two jigsaw puzzles made by the same cosmic company. Each, a distinct picture on its own, but cut from the same lithographic template so that the pieces could be intermingled into amalgam artworks. Monochrome individually, but a beautifully stark contrast together. Contradictive in their antithetical sameness. Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. --- AKA the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper.
This is the chapter where @mrghostrat is officially introduced! :)
Rating: Mature
Words: 62,152
Relationships:
Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Anathema Device, Crowley & Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub & Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Aziraphale & Gabriel (Good Omens)
Characters:
Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Anathema Device, Newton Pulsifer, Beelzebub (Good Omens), Gabriel (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Shax (Good Omens), Sandalphon (Good Omens), Warlock Dowling
Additional Tags:
Slow Burn, Alternate Universe - Human, Pining, Mutual Pining, academic!au, sloooooooow buuuuurn, the inherent homoeroticism of co-authoring a paper, Schrodinger - Freeform, Quantum Mechanics, Matchmaking, matchmaking the matchmakers, most of the characters are from GO, but there is one friendly Ukrainian grandma OC, Fluff, Miscommunication, Light Angst, Banter, Humor, Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Aziraphale is somehow Worse at Feelings (Good Omens), Requited Unrequited Love, they're so stupid, They're literally scientists but they're so STUPID, The Bentley Ships It (Good Omens), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), There Was Only One Bed
Language: English
#fanfiction#fanfic#crowley#good omens#ineffable husbands#ao3#archive of our own#aziracrow#aziraphale#ineffable husbands fic recs#ineffable husbands fic rec#QuEn#ineffable spouses#podfic#azicrow#good omens brainrot#good omens memes#good omens shitpost
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