#Because it doesn't matter anymore

[body-to-flame]

Your love is tough, your love is tried and true blue

#boygenius #lucy dacus #phoebe bridgers #lyrics #julien baker #lyric quotes #the record #true blue #You've never done me wrong #Except for that one time #That we don't talk about #Because it doesn't matter anymore #art

[sophsicle]

time is so fucking scary. because it does not care if you are happy. you will think I wish to stay like this, right here in this moment. i have found my place. but then time comes like a wave and pushes you forward. you cannot stay. and neither can the people you love. forward forward forward. time has ripped the claws from my hands, and the teeth from my mouth, as I have tried to cling to yesterday. but you must move forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forward. Forward forward forw—

#i recently went back to the place in which i was happiest in my life #and it has changed and doesn't look the same #and doesn't belong to me anymore #and quite honestly nothing aches quite like knowing #that no matter what i do i can never go back #that even if i stayed it would have all gone away anyway #that i had to move forward #and i had to let go of the things that made me happy #because time wouldn't stop #soph rambles

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Chapter 105.5 Thoughts: Control, Manipulation and Partnership

Or, how Chuuya is actually the most qualified character to land a victory over Dostoevsky.

I just want to preface this with: I think Chuuya has woken from the brainwashing. We can't see his eyes, he's holding his hat again, and look at the progression of his face and expression from the last few chapters with him (these are in order btw from left to right).

I'm not completely sure how he did this, but I chalk a lot of it up to sheer stubborn determination on Chuuya's part, mostly because it's funny and he was clearly fighting back before Dazai's speech. However, I find it likely the speech did contain some kind of code - others have pointed out how "Goodbye!" might be a reference to the original author's last unfinished book and we know skk's codenames for things generally are based off their real counterparts' works so, maybe he'd already broken out of it, maybe there was something in there that gave him the final push - who knows at this point honestly? Either way, it means Chuuya had the capacity to break out of the vampire curse on his own and that's incredibly funny to me for many reasons but mostly:

Fyodor: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's ability can't overcome flooding."

Dazai: "Bold of you to assume Chuuya's personality can't overcome brainwashing."

But really, this highlights something interesting here, both in what Chuuya's role is ultimately intended to be in this arc, and in the way Fyodor and Dazai manipulate and value others in very different ways.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: we already know that Fyodor is an excellent long-term planner, while Dazai is effectively able to counter him because Dazai shifts into thinking like his opponent. They're foil characters for a reason; they're both highly intelligent, manipulative, and willing to play the long game for the sake of winning against their opponent.

Thing is, I also stand by the idea that personality-wise, they're not similar at all - and that has serious implications for the people they are connected with. The build-up to the prison escape arc really highlights this. Some examples:

Chapter 46: Fyodor believes that all people are sinful and foolish and that his goal is to remove sin. Dazai believes that all people are sinful and foolish but asks what's so wrong with that.

Chapter 64: They decide to have a "super-happy chit-chat" about their problems. Dazai's solution to Fyodor's issue with his lazy subordinates is to get them to think lazing around is a bad thing so they will put in effort of their own. Fyodor's solution to Dazai being unable to woo the waitress is to isolate her from her job, house and family so that she can only rely on Dazai.

Chapter 77: Fyodor believes god is perfection and harmony, and thus that the people capable of change are the superior ones with most control. Dazai believes god is the accidental and illogical and believes it is the ordinary people who fight and live in that uncertainty who create the greatest change.

So, what's happening here? Fyodor's manipulation is shown to be very exacting and direct. He leaves no room for error and regards people on a hierarchy - God above all, himself as a servant of God's will, and the sinful and foolish humans he has little regard for. Dazai's manipulation involves manipulation of the situation, and is often indirect. It involves people coming to the conclusion he intends for them to on their own. And from his later dialogue with Sigma, we see he doesn't regard the world in that same kind of hierarchy.

Now, look at the way Fyodor picks an item and Dazai picks a person when starting the game. Look at the way Fyodor refers to Chuuya respectfully but brainwashes him entirely and mocks Dazai for not being worthy of "using" his ability. Look at the way Dazai is a complete ass to Chuuya but ultimately lets him make his own choices (begging people to take note of that moment in Stormbringer where Dazai cuts himself off to correct his referring to Corruption as Arahabaki's true power to Chuuya's true power).

So, the actual strength Dazai has over Dostoevsky then, is not really his strength at all, it's the strength of others and their choice and willpower to act in the way they believe is best. It's the only means of getting a leg up on Dostoevsky, otherwise they will continue to go around and around in circles forever.

And Chuuya is the best candidate for finally throwing Fyodor off his game.

Firstly, let's just establish something: no matter how mad he is at Dazai, he's not going to side with Fyodor, not willingly. Fyodor threatened the Mafia in the Cannibalism arc by attacking Mori, first of all. I doubt he's forgiven him for that. Secondly, Fyodor embodies everything Chuuya can't stand about Dazai, at the very least, younger Dazai - the manipulation, the lack of consideration and connection with others, the callousness and lack of regard for life.

Well, perhaps he's not quite as irritating. +1 point for Dostoevsky I guess?

But lastly, it is more advantageous for Chuuya at this point to help fight against Fyodor, especially since most of the Mafia has been vampirized by his organization. Helping the Agency stop the terrorist plot will help the Mafia by extension by undoing that. And we know from Stormbringer that no matter how much Chuuya is personally hurt, he considers taking out the threat to his people a higher priority. Always.

(You could make the argument that he was told whatever Teruko told Atsushi and decided to join, but not only do I find this wildly out of character, but if that was the case then there would've been no reason to brainwash him.)

That said, I don't think this was preemptive "Dazai's master plan #3057", and in fact, I stand by the idea that Dazai had no idea Chuuya was going to be in the prison. It is very, very important to me that for the rest of this arc, no matter what Chuuya does, that his actions are his own. Not Fyodor's, not Dazai's, but his. And not just because I hate that he's being controlled right now and that freedom of choice has always been important for Chuuya.

But because it makes narrative sense.

The vampires are a bit silly, yes, but they represent the way Fyodor and Fukuchi think - humanity will commit atrocities. They cannot be trusted to make their own decisions. They want to make a world that is free by... mind-controlling people so their plans work without a hitch. In short, they choose, on behalf of others, to sacrifice human autonomy for peace. So, if we are going to turn this arc around, we need to have characters breaking out of that control and thinking for themselves, in spite of the uncertainty of the outcome.

We already see this with Atsushi in the last chapter! He finally takes initiative and makes that choice to leave the room when he doesn't exactly know what the right thing to do is. And this is also why I don't think Teruko is wholly convinced by the DoA either - she lets him go. She gives him the freedom to choose what he does with that information.

Another one of the focus characters here is Sigma. Sigma is a guy who has no past, whose humanity is questioned, who keeps being used by organizations for his valuable ability, who has no home but desperately wants one... oh wait. Remind you of anyone's younger self? This could go one of two ways: Chuuya fails to assert his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from that failure, or, Chuuya succeeds in asserting his autonomy, leaving Sigma to learn from his success.

I think it, by necessity, has to be the latter. Sigma's at a tipping point right now, and I think seeing someone try to assert their freedom only to fail would damage him greatly. And I think it's a waste of Chuuya's character honestly.

Chuuya needs to assert his autonomy in this arc. Not just for thematic reasons but because I can think of no one else who can effectively break the "super-genius stalemate".

I keep hearing "Dazai knows Chuuya" in response to Fyodor calling their bond shallow, and that is absolutely true! But Chuuya also knows Dazai. Incredibly well. Odasaku knew Dazai's soul, but Chuuya knows Dazai's mind, knows his strategies and ways of thinking without even needing words. What's more, Chuuya has thrown off Dazai before and done what he didn't expect him to.

Which is nifty, because Dazai and Fyodor think a lot alike. Chuuya is in a unique position to thwart Dostoevsky because he may actually be able to predict him to a degree. Chuuya can absolutely land a victory against him, and it's excellent because it would be completely unexpected to Fyodor, who apparently thinks Chuuya's strength lies only in what his ability has to offer and not much else.

But listen. This also can't be skk's plan. I need Chuuya to sideline both of them. Both for the sweet, sweet catharsis of putting those two idiot geniuses in their places and also because I need Dazai to have screwed up. He wasn't wrong about people making their own choices in uncertainty. People need to assert their autonomy to create change. Dazai can't be wrong in this regard.

But with going ahead with the trap to drown Fyodor despite also having to drown Chuuya when he promised not to let him get killed... this needs to have been a mistake, otherwise the value of Dazai's emotional speech to him is diminished.

I want Dazai to try to laugh it off. I want him to say he always knew Chuuya would escape and then for Chuuya to deck him because "no, the fuck you didn't".

I really think Dazai hoped Chuuya would make it. Do remember that Chuuya was one of the first reasons young Dazai decided to try giving life a chance. The fact that he flashbacked to all his key memories with Chuuya says a lot. But his survival was no guarantee and it seemed very unlikely.

So, Chuuya is faced with the fact that Dazai nearly sacrificed him to kill Dostoevsky and save his new Agency friends.

And I hope he finally gets mad. I hope he finally expresses hurt on his own behalf for once. I hope they are forced to break their status quo that they have carefully maintained by not talking about anything ever. I hope they are pushed to uncomfortable places and that it is Chuuya who finally spurs this development.

Let Chuuya break the stalemate between Dazai and Dostoevsky. Let him shatter the status quo that him and Dazai have kept going for year after year.

Autonomous action in the face of uncertainty is necessary for change.

#am i assigning too much narrative importance in the main manga to chuuya? perhaps #will i stop? no #unfortunately this meta doesn't include gogol which is an oversight because he absolutely has to play a role as well #i'm just not quite sure what yet. same as chuuya i suppose #either gogol asserts his autonomy or he... fails. yeah. either he gets dostoevsky killed or... he fails. #i just don't know where he fits in with everyone else is the thing #listen though. it is significant that gogol decided not to play his dying role in the doa's plan though. #gogol is the free spirit of the doa and yet he's closer to sigma and bram in terms of how he is more controlled than controller #anyways sorry this is so long. just my two cents on the matter #bsd #bsd spoilers #bsd chapter 105.5 #bsd chuuya #bsd fyodor #bsd dazai #bsd sigma #bsd meta #i don't even know if this makes sense anymore. here. #storyrambles

[insomnya777]

boat boys coded

#....does this make sense #it does in my head #lovers lane. dead end. #aka double life #they know it won't lead anywhere #in the long run it will only end in pain #whether it ends in a screaming match or just one too many empty promises — it doesn't matter. it still ends either way #and that's the part that really counts #but they don't do anything about it because what is there to do? your only option is to live the story #even if you know how it ends #so they go along with it #what other choice do they have? #they fall in love and they kiss and they kill and they do it all together. they follow lovers lane all the way until the end of the road #until they can't deny it anymore #their time is up #double life is over #they're running on borrowed time - delaying the inevitable #it's a dead end #and it was always going to be #and somewhere in between they may have convinced themselves that it might be different #(it's not) #(it never is) #IS THIS ANYTHING GUYS... #maybe i'm just insane #nya talks #hermitblr #trafficblr #joel smallishbeans #boat boys #smalletho

[chocmoon-latte]

There's this added layer of sadness to the Sole Survivor that I've never seen anyone talk about, and that's the fact you as the protagonist haven't just been stripped of your identity not just in a metaphorical sense, but a very literal one as well. Despite being frozen for 210 years, the world before would still be fresh in your mind.

Imagine walking down into The Third Rail for the first time to hear the angelic singing of Magnolia echoing throughout the establishment, and as you turn the corner to see her performing in the spotlight, your expression immediately changes as you realize... that's your dress she's wearing.

You're in Diamond City and head over to the office to talk to Mayor McDonough about asking permission to check out Kellogg's house, and when you're talking to Geneva at the front desk you notice she's wearing your mother's necklace. Or worse, you bump into Ann Codman and she's the one wearing it, and you barely get a chance to get a second glimpse at it before she huffily walks away.

You see old memories of yours for sale that you can't buy back because you don't have the money, finding belongings of yours in the most unlikely of places. Things of yours owned by people who can't be convinced that those items are still yours to you, because they can't believe you're really from all those years ago so they mock you instead.

Seeing old photos of you happy from your life before, being placed among photos of other people in buildings being used as some kind of decoration. A bitter realization and a constant reminder that you, the things you use to associate with and the people you use to associate with really are just relics of the past.

#fallout 4 #fallout #sole survivor #the idea of sole going out and trying to buy back as many things that use to belong to them as possible is heartbreaking #them just trying to find and hold onto as many memories as they can in attempt to keep themself sane #holding onto an old identity of a bygone world because they feel like they lack a sense of identity and meaning in this new world without i #realizing that whatever they worked so hard for in the past doesn't matter anymore because things are so vastly different now #and that they pretty much have to make peace with their old self and start over

[sunnykeysmash]

Man of words

#s16 spoilers #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #analysis #parallels #I didn't exactly know how to name this thread but i had some scattered thoughts on it #dennis is the one mac depends on to define things. he's the man of words. but this situation is very limiting #firstly because mac can't read subtext. and dennis will rarely be open in his words. but he also doesn't know everything. #cant define everything. and by forcing the situation to have dennis speak for both. what actually happens is mac gets silenced #and when mac cant speak. no one besides dennis can ever possibly understand him. and that is very isolating. because den wont be open. cant #but they trust each other. theyre following each other's lead. and they're missing the right words #den defines his own self worth in the relationship by being able to have the right words. mac is the man of action! after all #but if mac learns to speak for himself. if mac doesn't depend on den (chokes). if mac is noticed for his appearance as den becomes insecure #(''what if my shirt falls off?'') what does den have left for mac? but mac will fall for him no matter what. #''make up or not you are the golden god! it's all about what's in here💗'' #maybe words arent necessary anymore. dont ask just do. and mac's the man of action... OR IS HE. #mac doesn't really act now does he. they got it backwards. don't they? mac got a lot better with his words in time... #idk lots to think about let me know what u think lolll #threads

[phiklimz]

Happy Birthday, Akane!

#spoilers #zero escape #zero escape 999 #akane kurashiki #aoi kurashiki #they make me sick #so abnormal about akane forgetting her birthday because she's always in a loop of existence and nonexistence that her birthday doesn't #matter to her anymore

[ardentpoop]

bursts into tears

#first of all. relatable. #second - ''it doesn't matter anymore. because these trials... they're purifying me.'' NOOOOOOOOOO #spn #liveblog tag #8.21

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

[muzzleroars]

Au where Mike actually starts healing but any flesh regened is plant based, so, like, bro is actually part plant, and isn't rotting, plant angel, he still grows flowers 'n stuff, and they react with his emotions, changing colors, wilting, all that jazz

ouuughh....mike as a microcosm of the death, rot, and rebirth of life following god's disappearance, not truly alive himself but now no longer just supporting plant growth and instead restored by it, living through it. he is symbiotic, able to feel the warmth of the sun and gentle touch through the plants that weave into him, at peace with where he's ended.

#he's not sure what he is anymore #but that surprisingly doesn't really matter #life goes on #and he's happy he gets to see that part of it too #because usually the dead aren't so privileged to see the life they nurture #cake answers #michael #v2 #doodle tag

[thesunlikehoney]

Seeing some pretty gross posts about Miguel, and... It's actually pretty important that Miles, an Afrolatino character, is both making friends with the younger generation of POC and in direct conflict with the older generation of POC. Like yeah Gwen and Peter B. are still important figures in his life for good and now also bad reasons, but it is Miguel and Jessica who he has an ideological conflict with. It is Hobie who in some ways takes over as a mentor and guide. Margo helps him escape. Pavitr is someone Miles himself helps and gives advice to. The antagonist is not Latino because they wanted to use stereotype shorthand to make everyone understand how dangerous he is, he is Latino because Miles is Latino. And surprise surprise this movie has a lot to say about-- not generational trauma per say, but community trauma. About what happens when shared trauma starts to define the boundaries of who is and who isn't a member of your community, rather than shared passions and shared dreams and shared missions.

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miles morales #across the spiderverse spoilers #media analysis #it's about the Themes #because. the reason my grandpa doesn't consider himself mexican is because he got out #he did the right and proper american thing and converted and worked his way out of poverty and married a white lady #so he's not mexican anymore he's american. because he doesn't live with the same trauma that the rest of his mexican family live with #and idk #i just think about that a lot #my grandpa is so proud of the way he assimilated #i've never heard him speak spanish #and i know there was a lot more too it and probably i'm reading too much into it #but for miles to say that he can be spiderman without having to suffer for it #that this is his identity not necessarily because he chose it but because he embraced it #and it doesn't have to be bathed in blood to matter... #hm #yeah #good stuff

[gelphiegifs]

"Come with me!"

#gelphie #elphaba thropp #glinda upland #galinda upland #wicked #wicked musical #talia suskauer #brittney johnson #s: train station #id to be added #this scene is so funny to me because glinda is having five different breakdowns at the same time and none of them make any sense #and elphaba just stares at her with massive heart eyes and decides to ask her on a date #and glinda forgets about everything she was even saying and suddenly the boy she was 'crying' over doesn't matter anymore lol #i love them a lot

[gothducky]

Rummaging through my ak folder I found these old pics that I posted to twitter years ago lol

#Arknights #I don't go to twitter anymore because I don't feel safe anymore after leaving an abusive relationship #So don't ask for a @ it doesn't matter anymore!

[vargaslovinghours]

And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

#💟 #Digital art #Full Art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay #Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha #Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm #Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪ #I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again #Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪ #So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment #I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3 #I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction #I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3 #I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next #I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3 #It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :) #And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha #The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3 #Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥ #Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear! #Oh and #Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt #Hehe <3

[skinnypaleangryperson]

I can't imagine how quality my life would be if people were willing to listen to niche, incredibly strange cornered personalities. I'm such an interesting person, but people don't speak my language 98% of the time and nobody cares to unless you speak the mainstream, boring oversaturated languages that people speak with celebrity pop culture, influencers, and the so forth. The worthlessness that I feel from not being able to fit into mainstream society has made a black mark. Still, the niche incredibly strange personality persists.

I'm just a incredibly strange mentally ill, genuinely schizophrenic incredibly imaginative maladaptive daydreaming mentally ill person who cannot tell fantasy from reality, but I feel like it could have been so much more than that if society had spaces for more niche corners like us to speak.

#I'm so depressed that I promised myself I wouldn't post anymore #but looking at the four neurodivergent people that post in the tags I check even if they end up paying me #*hating me #is enough to get me going again at least for a little bit #I don't even bother with fandom anymore nor does it excite me because I've been rejected from BoJack culture in every way #but I'm still madly in love with him and have psychotic maladaptive disorders about him so it doesn't matter #so I just casually interact #assume that people are going to treat me like trash and move on #most Bojack fans are excessively neurotypical much like the characters and the people that made it #and neurotypicals absolutely despise me especially since I'm becoming increasingly more insane as I get older #just internet junk anyway so it barely matters #I learned plenty from the discord and of the cursed thing that you call a reddit group

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

My absolute favorite tiny underrated scene

They sneak off to make out in a stairwell until Zahra finds them and drags Henry off to get camera-ready,

Alex and Henry making out in a stairwell before Alex’s speech. I don’t know why I love it so much.

#its just so #so sweet yknow #like they are making out in a STAIRWELL #anyone could walk in #and guess what #they don't care!!! #it doesn't matter if anyone sees!!! #they dont have to care and be cautious anymore!!! #im just imagining domestic firstprince just literally making out anywhere and at anytime because they CAN #finally they finally can #aughhh #rwrb #casey mcquiston #red white and royal blue #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white & royal blue