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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 5 months

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Everybody Hurts

Chapter 14

Pairing: EddieMunsonxReader

Summary: You needed to escape, escape from your life, your messy divorce, and all the pitying looks. Looks you couldn't ignore when everyone in town had known you and Cam, had known your shame and failure. So, you took the first job you could get, teaching third grade in a town called Hawkins. Little did you know, you were walking right into another messy situation, a messy situation with big brown eyes and long dark waves. But he's resistant, at times unbearable and you start getting curious about the town's past, his past, especially when things don't start adding up.

18+ Only for eventual smut

Next chapter: 11/29

Word Count: 7.3K

Masterlist

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Friday afternoon rolled around and you were picking up your classroom. The chaos of the school week always left the room needing a little attention at the end but you were taking more time than usual. You busied yourself with organizing materials for the next week, tossing broken pencils that had been carelessly discarded on the floor, and wiping down the tops of the desks. For once, you were in no hurry to run out the door, knowing you were facing a long weekend alone once again.

You’d effectively avoided everyone from the group since your shocking admission Tuesday night, mostly by not answering your phone any time that it rang. You knew your sister would be frantic if she’d been the one calling, but you couldn’t risk it. You didn’t need even more pity from more people again. And honestly, you could barely admit to yourself what a fool you’d been. How could you tell Kim that you’d let some jerk treat you like shit all over again? You couldn’t, not your strong, wise-ass sister who would never allow a man’s lies to get her into bed.

You wanted nothing more than to go back in time and keep your big mouth shut. In the heat of the moment, it felt good to call him out on his bullshit. He deserved every single ounce of your anger and then some for treating you the way he had. You weren't some tissue to be used and discarded in the trash. But once you’d gotten back to your house, riding your bike through the haze of angry tears that coated your eyes, you’d been horrified and ashamed at your public declaration.

How would you ever look any of them in the eye again now that they knew you’d allowed Eddie to use you like that? That you’d been dumb enough to believe the pretty words that had come out of that pretty mouth. You should have known better. Of course he didn’t mean anything that he’d said. He’d told you exactly what you wanted to hear and you’d fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker. He’d known you would be vulnerable to his charms after what Cam and Cassie had done and used it to his advantage. Once again, you had chosen to ignore the evidence in front of you in favor of what you wanted to believe instead. You’d wanted to believe he wanted you truly wanted you, but all he wanted was to find out what you were like in the sack.

You looked up from the desk you had been scrubbing when there was a soft knock on the door to find Gareth standing there, a sheepish smile on his face, one hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans, as he gave you a small wave. You straightened up, wondering what would have brought him to the school on a Friday afternoon. And why would he still assume you were here? Your thoughts took you nowhere good, hoping nothing had happened between Lance and Charlie after school.

“Hey,” he said, taking a hesitant step into the classroom, a gritted smile on his face, “I hope you don’t mind me just dropping by like this.”

“No, of course not. Is everything okay?” Your eyes moved over to the clock that hung to the left of the door. “School let out half an hour ago. Charlie made it home okay, right?”

“Yeah. He’s fine. He’s over on the playground with a couple of his friends and asked if he could play for a while before we headed home. It’s such a nice day so I figured why not and…” Gareth told you, stuffing both hands into his pockets now, rocking back and forth on his heels. “I uh…well, it worked for me because I was actually standing out there waiting for you to come out so I could talk to you but you never did. I wondered if I missed you. So, I figured I’d pop in and check.”

“Okay…” you said slowly, the hairs on the back of your neck rising in suspicion. If he wasn’t here about Charlie, then there was only one other reason you could come up with. A reason you had no desire to talk about. You tossed your rag on the table, propping your hip on top and folding your arms. “So, what did you need?”

“Uh…well…” Gareth ran a hand over the back of his neck, his face scrunching in a way that let you know he was pretty uncomfortable about whatever this was, only making you even more suspicious that this wasn’t a conversation you wanted to have. Certainly not a conversation you wanted to have with one of Eddie’s best friends, someone who would only defend him and make up excuses for his appalling behavior. “Look, this is really awkward. I probably shouldn’t be saying anything. It’s none of my business but…”

“It isn’t any of your business,” you stated, adding when he looked up at you, surprised, “I assume you’re here to talk about Eddie. I can’t imagine anything to do with your kid that would be this uncomfortable for you.”

He sighed, “You’re right. It is. I just, look, I know he can be an asshole.”

“That’s the understatement of the century…” you muttered, your fingers running over the top of the desk, trying to remind yourself that your anger was at Eddie, not at Gareth. Gareth was the parent of one of your students. You had to be careful what you said, how you treated him. You had to be professional no matter how you felt. Besides, you really liked him and you knew his heart was in the right place. He seemed like a decent guy, unlike his friend.

He chuckled hoarsely, pulling at the collar of his shirt, “Yeah. Maybe. But I heard what you said the other night at the bar. I mean, about what happened between you two. It was a little hard not to hear.”

Your eyes slipped closed, your face blazing with shame. Of course he’d heard it. The whole bar had to have heard it. By now, everyone in town probably knew. You hadn’t exactly been quiet about it, screaming it at his face as you lost all self-control in the throes of your white hot rage, and now you had to live with the consequences of it.

“Yeah, okay, and what about it?”

“The thing is, I know you’re probably thinking he’s some manwhore who sleeps with a bunch of different girls and drops them all the time but he’s not.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes. Of course his best friend was going to defend him. Did he really expect you to believe that Eddie didn’t sleep around after he’d just blown you off? Or were you just the exception, so distasteful to him that he couldn’t stomach the idea of even telling you on the phone that he wasn’t interested?

Gareth’s hand rose in front of him, “I know you have no reason to believe me. You don’t know me. You don’t even know him that well but I’m telling you the truth. I haven’t seen Eddie with anybody in years. There’ve been a couple girls here and there. And I’m not saying he hasn’t had some one-night stands. I mean who hasn’t, right? But both people knew what it was going into it. He doesn’t lead people on. He’s…I’m shocked he was even willing to have sex with you honestly.”

“Wow, thanks,” you snorted, folding your arms over your chest.

“No. I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, he’s really self-conscious, you know, of his scars and shit. I assume since you two, well, you know, that you saw them. He doesn’t like to take his shirt off, ever. He had one girl who…well, they’d been dating for like a month and when they went to do the deed and his shirt came off, she looked repulsed. She visibly cringed and lurched back from him, asking what the hell that was. Eddie told her about the…you know, the raccoons. She asked him if he could just keep his shirt on when they had sex. You have no idea what that did to his head, man. He won’t even take it off at the pool anymore so the fact that he was willing to show you, to literally bare himself to you, risk your reaction, I don’t know. It makes me think that you’re special.”

Your fingers pressed against your forehead, your heart aching at the thought of Eddie, standing bare. Being as vulnerable as you can be in front of a woman who made him feel anything less than beautiful. You had seen him, seen every single part of him, and there wasn’t a single inch of him that wasn’t magnificent, scars or not. Jesus, the guy could not catch a break. It seemed like all anybody ever did was let him down and tear him down, everybody besides his friends, the only people he let peek through that wall he’d built around himself.

And here you were again, torn, a state that you seemed to perpetually be in when it came to Eddie. Wanting to slap him across the face while, at the same time, wanting to hold him against your chest and make all the bad shit go away.

“If I am so special, then why did he rush out after? Why didn’t he even bother to call?” you demanded, wanting to believe him but terrified to allow yourself to.

“Honestly? Eddie is a locked box, man. He used to be this really open, loud, and proud guy who didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought of him. He didn’t care that they called him a freak. He wore it like a goddamn badge of honor. He figured if they were going to label him, then he may as well live up to it. He was fun. He was…Eddie. But after all that shit went down with the murders, he changed. He pulled everything into himself. He stopped letting people in. Hell, it’s hard for me to get him to tell me anything and we’ve been friends since fifth grade. So my guess is you scare the shit out of him because he wants to let you in but he doesn’t know how. I guess I’m just saying…I mean, what I came here to say, is maybe don’t give up on him just yet. I really think you could be good for him.”

“I don’t know, Gareth,” you mumbled, thinking back to Tuesday night, the vicious way he’d grinned at you as he basically said that what you had done meant nothing to him.

“I know. I’m not saying you have to decide anything right now. Just maybe think about it. He’s a jerk but I swear to you, he’s a jerk worth knowing because there’s a good guy in there. There’s a guy who is so damn loyal and who will do anything, I mean anything, for the people he cares about. There’s a guy who could be the best damn person you’ve ever met if you’re willing to work for it.” He shrugged. “That’s all I really came to say. I’m not trying to pressure you. I just wanted you to have all the facts because he’s my friend and after everything he’s been through, he deserves to be happy. And it sounds like you do, too. I’ll let you get back to…cleaning or whatever. Have a good weekend, teach, and thanks again for taking such good care of my boy.” “Of course. Charlie’s a great kid. You’ve done an amazing job with him,” you smiled. “You have a good weekend too.”

You sat on the edge of the table for probably far longer than it seemed after Gareth left, your mind like a runaway train going off the rails. Could he be right? Who would know Eddie better than him except maybe his uncle? And he’d cared enough to come find you and talk. Why would he have even bothered if he didn’t believe what he said?

Oh, but the thought of fighting back, of trying to get Eddie to let you in, to chip away at those walls, was so damn exhausting. You felt you would collapse under the weight of just considering it. Was it worth that much energy? Maybe Gareth was wrong and Eddie had never wanted you to begin with, never wanted anything from you besides finding out what the new girl was like in bed. It was high school all over again. You were the shiny, new toy that the cute boy wanted before all the others got a chance. You groaned, dropping back onto the desk, your arms draping over the sides as you stared at the ceiling, thinking maybe you’d just stay here all weekend, on this hard desk.

“Girl, it’s Friday. What in the hell are you still doing here? Are you planning on taking a nap?” asked Leslie with a laugh, poking her head in the door.

“No. Just thinking about stuff, cleaning up a bit, and making sure I’m ready for Monday.”

“All of that stuff will still be here on Monday. All of that crap you’re pondering will still be waiting too. If this is about that meeting or those boys, that issue isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Let it go for now,” your co-teacher scoffed, waving her hand. “Seriously, girl, grab your stuff and go home. Come on. It’s a Friday night. You’ve got to have something better to do than hang out at school.”

“Not really,” you mumbled, swallowing down the lump of heartache that formed as you admitted how very pathetic you were. “I’ll probably just go home, lay on my couch, and dwell on all the horrendous fuck-ups I’ve made with my life. I thought I had made some friends but that didn’t really work out.”

Leslie’s lips compressed together, her shoulder resting against the frame of the door, “Damn. This is just sad. Alright girl, I am not going to let you wallow in whatever this is. You and I are going to get a drink because you sure look like you could use one and I know I could. And then you can tell me about whatever happened with these friends.”

“Oh, no. You don’t have to do that. I’m sure you have plans. I’m fine. I’m just being pathetic and self-pitying but I’ll get past it.”

“Look, we’re all pathetic and self-pitying at times. You know what the perfect cure for that is? Talking and drinking. My only plans for the night were with a bottle of Merlot, a bubble bath, and a smutty book,” Leslie shrugged. “It can wait a few hours. Come on. Grab your stuff. There’s a bar right around the corner.”

____________________________________________________________

The bar was called Cheers and Beers. It was another little hole-in-the-wall place like The Hideout. Hawkins didn’t really have many places that would be considered upscale but this place appeared to be cleaned, at least, on a semi-regular basis. You and Leslie chose a small table in a back corner and Leslie ordered a glass of Merlot, you choosing a bourbon, hoping the burn of the alcohol would sear away everything else you didn’t want to be feeling or thinking.

As the waitress delivered your drinks, Leslie took a sip of her wine and then leaned forward on the table, her chin resting in her hands, “Alright. Spill. So, what happened with these people that you thought were your friends but aren’t now? Did you get in a fight or something?”

“No. I mean, I did fight with one of them, but he’s not even someone I can call a friend. Not really. But I didn’t fight with all of them but now it’s so awkward. I screamed at him in front of everyone. I completely lost my shit and went insane and now they all know what an idiot I am. I’ve completely humiliated myself and there is no way I can face any of them again. They probably think I am pathetic and gullible. I know they definitely think I am a giant whore now.” You tipped back the bourbon, already finishing it off, relishing the slow burn as it ran down your throat.

Leslie choked on her wine, almost spitting blood red liquid all over the table. Covering her mouth, she swallowed it down, setting her wineglass down carefully before wiping her mouth with a napkin. Leaning back in her chair, eyebrows raised, she looked quizzically at you.

“Okay, now you can’t say something like that without providing more context. Why in the hell would they think you’re a whore? Did you sleep with a bunch of them?”

“No!” you protested, offended that she would even think you were capable of that. “Jesus, of course not.”

Groaning, you waved the waitress over, ordering another bourbon, knowing you were going to need some more liquid fortification if you were going to have any hope of getting through this conversation. Holding up your hand, you paused the conversation until the drink arrived. You took a large drink when it was delivered and then inhaled slowly.

“Okay, so I met this girl, Max Mayfield, at the diner a few weeks ago when I went in to grab some food. She was really nice and we just got to talking, you know? I told her I was new here and I hadn’t met a lot of people so she invited me out to a bonfire with her friends at the lake. I went and met a whole bunch of people there and I absolutely loved them. They were so kind to me, all except for one. I think you might know him, actually. At least you seemed to that day after school when he was waiting for me.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, deep lines appearing between them, as Leslie thought back and then her eyes went wide with recognition, shooting your way, “Eddie Munson? Eddie Munson was there because he was waiting for you? Oh god. Tell me you didn’t sleep with Eddie Munson!”

Your cheeks heated as you dropped your face into your hands. Even Leslie knew you’d been an idiot to ever trust him. He must have some kind of reputation in town for being a ladies man. Everyone in town probably knew he slept around, leaving a string of heartbroken women behind him. He was in a band. He probably had a different groupie in his bed every single Tuesday night. The very thought twisted your stomach, thinking of some other girl underneath him, his hands stroking her skin, bringing her to levels of ecstasy that you hadn’t even known existed until him. Him whispering those sweet lies in another woman’s believing ear.

“Jesus Christ. I cannot believe that you slept with the Hawkins Antichrist.”

“I…I’m sorry. The what?” you asked, lifting your head.

“You really don’t know? He was suspected of murdering a bunch of people in town a decade ago. They couldn’t prove it so he went free but everyone still thinks he did it. He was always so weird and he loved being the outsider. He’d scream and yell about forced conformity and how the government was brainwashing everyone with media propaganda. Seriously, he would jump on top of the cafeteria table at least once a week to rant about some shit. Everybody knew he was crazy. He played some satanic game and brainwashed a bunch of younger kids to join. They even say the game was just a front for a cult and that the murders were actually sacrifices to Satan.”

Your eyes rolled, your stomach twisting up again but this time it was anger stirring within you. So Leslie wasn’t appalled because she thought Eddie was a manwhore. She was appalled because she bought into all the bullshit about him, the same bullshit that asshole Andy was spewing. Your fist clenched around your drink, arm stiff as your muscles tensed.

Maybe you were pissed at Eddie. Maybe you thought he was a son of a bitch for doing what he did to you. Maybe you thought he wasn’t a great guy when it came to women but you would never believe he could do those things. You would never believe the stupid rumors this town seemed insistent on holding onto. It was ridiculous, absolutely insane. And to top it off, the only reason these ignorant people believed it was because he didn’t fit the definition of what they called normal and you could not stand ignorant people who judged things they didn’t even understand.

“Come on. You can’t tell me you buy into all of that bullshit. Leslie, I thought you were smarter than that.”

“You weren’t here,” she argued, her fist coming down onto the table harshly. “You have no idea what it was like. Nothing like that had ever happened in this town before. This was a safe place, a place where people didn’t bother locking their doors and didn’t worry about their kids being out until the streetlights came on. After that, everything changed. People were terrified. They instituted a curfew. Parents were keeping their kids under lock and key, terrified they would be next.”

“Okay, I understand that what happened was awful but that doesn’t mean Eddie had anything to do with it. People only accused him because of how he looked and the things he enjoyed, which metal music and a fantasy game are harmless by the way. He didn’t run a cult, Leslie. He didn’t induct people in. He took in kids who didn’t fit in anywhere else and gave them a safe place. It was seriously just a harmless game. The name of his DnD club was Hellfire. People twisted it all around after the fact to make him the monster they needed him to be.”

“Chrissy, the first victim, was found in his trailer! How do you explain that?”

“I don’t know. I can’t. As you said, I wasn’t there but I am telling you that Eddie had nothing to do with it. There’s no way that he’s capable of something like that.”

Leslie looked at you as if you’d completely lost it, “Are you seriously defending him? I am assuming he dicked you over since you’re refusing to face these new friends of yours. Used you for sex and then he’s done with you and you’re going to sit there and defend him? You don’t even know him. You said you just met him a few weeks ago. Let me guess who your new friends are? Steve Harrington? Nancy Wheeler? Robin Buckley? Jonathan Byers?”

“How…how’d you know that?”

“Because that group were the only ones who stuck by him after everything. They will still defend him with their dying breath. I’ve always wondered if they know more than what they’re saying. That group was always involved in all the weird shit that happened here. The disappearances, the mall fire, the murders…them and those kids that are always with them were always knee deep in that shit. They closed ranks after everything, becoming some little secretive group. It’s seriously weird.”

“Look, I think they do know more about what happened back then than they’re saying but maybe they have good reason to stay quiet. They’re good people, Leslie. I’ve gotten to know them pretty well and they are some of the kindest, most inclusive people I’ve ever met. And maybe they defend Eddie because he deserves it, because they know he’s innocent. Have you ever thought of that?”

Leslie sighed, “Look, I don’t want to fight with you. I really don’t. I like you and I love working with you. You’re an amazing teaching partner. I don't want things between us to be strained. But we might have to agree to disagree here. Eddie hasn’t exactly given anyone any reason to think otherwise. He walks around all surly and has a massive attitude all the time like he’s just waiting for a fight.”

“Of course he does! Can you blame him? This whole town was more than happy to crucify him the minute something happened. They didn’t even consider the possibility that he didn’t do it,” you argued. “Why should he have to prove anything to any of you? Innocent until proven guilty, remember? You all condemned him without any proof. Why should the burden fall on him to prove what should have been assumed to begin with? This town didn’t give him a single reason to want to be friendly.”

“I mean…okay, you’re not completely wrong. I remember the town hall meeting vividly. It was like something from a horror movie, something that you just never think you’ll be a part of. I felt like I was watching a car wreck in action. Jason Carver showed up, completely out of his mind, and ranted about monsters and demons and the whole place was ready to hunt Eddie down themselves. My parents were absolutely convinced he’d done it. I just…I guess it was easy to believe. He’d always been called the freak at school and he seemed to like to live up to that title. He seemed to take pride in it. He was always so different. He didn’t even try to fit in. You know? Most people want to fit in, want to conform but not him.” Leslie paused, thinking. “If he really is innocent, I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for him living in this town after all of that.”

“The others told me he’s had his car vandalized and things thrown at his house, not to mention the awful things people have said to him. He only stayed for his uncle who raised him. He didn’t want to leave him alone. I met his uncle and he’s a really sweet guy. And yeah, Eddie slept with me and seems done with me. He completely used me. He’s a jerk for that. I hate him right now. I mean, I want to punch him right in his nose but I still can’t believe he would do anything like that. He’s an ass but he’s not a murderer.”

A sigh fell from Leslie’s lips as she shrugged, lifting her wine glass, “Well, alright. I guess if you can still think so highly of him after he used you like a cheap prostitute, then I suppose I could consider rethinking my views on him. Maybe this town was wrong. Maybe I was. I just believed what everyone was saying without a shred of proof just like everyone else. I never even considered another possibility until now. They called his followers sheep but I believed my parents like a damn sheep following the flock. It was classic mob mentality now that I think about it. God, I kind of feel like an idiot.”

“Hey, don’t feel too bad,” you assured, lifting your glass to Leslie’s, clinking them together. “I have believed a bunch of bullshit that I shouldn’t have more than one time myself.”

“Well, cheers to us both being dumbasses,” Leslie chuckled.

“Cheers to being blind to the truth,” you agreed, downing the rest of your drink.

___________________________________________________________

Leslie pulled in front of your house to drop you off a few hours later. You’d had every intention of walking back to the school and riding your bike home but you’d wound up drinking one more bourbon and after three, you didn’t quite trust your tipsy self to balance on a bike. Better not to take any chances. The last thing you needed was a broken bone and a hospital bill you couldn’t afford. You would just have to walk over to the school tomorrow to get it. You waved goodbye as Leslie pulled away, thinking at least with the help of some alcohol you’d be able to get some good sleep tonight and stumbled your way up your sidewalk.

Maybe you’d lost all your new friends. Maybe you’d messed that up completely but that didn’t mean you were completely alone. After your little argument about the ignorance of the town, you and Leslie had a good time together, laughing and talking, finally taking the time to really get to know each other outside of the walls of the school.

You, who’d been keeping everyone at work at a distance for so long, could see Leslie as someone you’d enjoy spending time with. So, maybe there was still hope for a new life in this town. Maybe you wouldn’t have to run away with your tail between your legs to start over somewhere new again. Maybe you could still find your happy in this place.

A small amber glow to the right of your porch caught your eye as you moved to place your key in the lock. You jumped, jerking as you looked over to find Eddie sitting on your porch swing, legs spread wide in front him, one arm casually draped along the wood backing. He brought the cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag before tilting his head back, the smoke slipping from between his lips in a thin line.

“Are you fucking kidding me? No. Hell no. Absolutely not,” you muttered, shaking your head, working to get the key in the door as quickly as possible but your inebriated state was not allowing you to work fast enough as he rose from the swing and made his way over to you.

“Prom Queen…” he began.

“No. Nope. No way,” you insisted, turning the lock and the knob so hard that you half fell into your foyer. You spun to close the door behind you but his hand shot out, holding it open. You pushed back hard but it provided no resistance against him as he stepped inside, swinging it shut behind him. “What do you think you’re doing? Get the hell out of my house.”

Eddie shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere. Not until we talk.”

“There is nothing to talk about. You got what you wanted from me, Eddie. Good for you. You fooled me. You had me believing you were a good guy and it got you in my pants. You came, you saw, you conquered. You got the new girl first and proved I’m just as empty headed as you first thought. Now you can walk around all proud of yourself, basking in your glory. So get the fuck out.”

“Goddamn it, that’s not what that was,” Eddie huffed, taking a step toward you as you simultaneously took a step back, not trusting yourself to be so close to him. He groaned, both hands coming to the top of his head as he spun in an agitated circle. “I wasn’t just trying to get in your pants.”

“Could have fooled me by the way you ran out of here like the damn house was on fire and then couldn’t be bothered to call me after you said you would. Not to mention what a dick you were at the bar. Weren’t you the one who said you were a good actor? Well, you should win an Oscar for that because I thought you were being genuine. I thought you liked me. What an idiot I was!”

“Goddamn it! I know I did this all wrong. That wasn’t…I didn’t…son of a bitch! I just…this is such a bad idea. Don’t you see what a bad idea this is? I shouldn’t have ever done that. I’ve tried so hard to keep a safe distance between us, to resist what I wanted. It was a huge mistake and then you asked me to stay over and I knew it was a mistake and I just couldn’t face you after…”

“Oh, okay. That’s so much better,” you growled, tossing your arms up in the air. “You didn’t just use me. Thank goodness. That could have been embarrassing. You just slept with me and then realized I was a huge mistake that you wished you wouldn’t have made. Thanks for clearing that up. You can go now.”

You stomped away from him into the kitchen, hoping he would get the idea and leave. You could not do this anymore. You wished you’d never met him. The room swayed in front of you and you grabbed onto the edge of the counter to steady yourself, a roar of frustration ripping its way from your chest when he didn’t leave but instead followed you.

Why couldn’t he just go away? Did he really think this was any better than ghosting you? Telling you that you were an error, a bad decision, a regret? Why couldn’t he have just left it alone? You’d had no intention of seeking out clarification. You would have been satisfied just calling it what it was, a guy using you for sex. Maybe you could have even twisted it into something positive. You’d never had a one night stand. Shouldn’t everyone have one at least once?

“That’s not what I’m saying! Jesus Christ!” His large hands slammed down on the counter across from you and you jumped. “Don’t you get it? I’m the monster of this town! I’m defective merchandise just like your ex. You don’t deserve that, especially not after what that asshole already did to you. You would be better off with anybody but me! You’re not the mistake, princess! I am!”

Your muddled brain tried to wade through the murky confusion, “What?”

“Why do you think I’ve been such a dick since the moment we met? Sure, I can have my moments but I was really pulling out all the assholery I could for you. I wanted you to hate me because it was easier! It was easier than trying to fight what I really wanted. I’ve been fighting to keep a distance between us since the night we met and I’ve failed. I’ve been holding on for dear life so I don’t drown in you! But no matter what I did, I kept being drawn to you. I knew it was stupid. I knew it was wrong. I knew every single time I showed up that I was playing with fire. I knew you deserved better than me but I kept coming back to you. I told myself I could just be your friend. I told myself it was what you wanted so it was okay. I told myself I would never let it go farther than that. I’d play it safe. I made every excuse in the book, knowing damn well that I was just trying to justify what I wanted. But Saturday, I was just so damn tired of fighting it. And then you…you wanted me too and it was so damn easy to just let it happen, to stop resisting. I gave in and then you wanted me to stay over and I knew I had made a huge mistake.”

Your eyes slipped closed, your grip on the counter tightening as your brain warred with itself once again. Did you allow yourself to believe him again? Did you forgive him? Did you let him back in only to risk him changing his mind once again? Or did you tell him, fine, this was a huge mistake and that was all it was going to be and you should just stay away from each other? That would definitely be the smarter choice of the two but you’d already proven that when it came to him, you didn’t make the smart choice.

And those eyes. Fuck those goddamn big doe eyes. They were so sincere, full of pain, a window into deep anguish that was tugging at your heart. He was hunched forward, arms wrapped around himself as if he were trying to contain all of his emotions inside, shielding himself from the truth he was exposing. This man made you want to jump out of the plane without a parachute, to risk shattering on impact. Anything if it meant that you could make that suffering go away.

“And why do you get to make that decision for me?” you asked, struggling as those eyes pierced your soul; twin brown pools of regret pleading for you to try to understand. “Why do you get to decide if something’s a mistake for me?”

“Oh come on! I know you’ve heard all the shit this town says about me,” he muttered, tongue running under his upper lip, looking down at the countertop.

“Is any of it true?”

Eddie shrugged, his finger running back and forth over the formica countertop “I didn’t hurt anybody, if that’s what you’re asking. I’m not a murderer.”

“Then why in the hell should I care what anybody else has to say?”

“Because I’m broken, princess. Far too broken to ever be fixed.”

“Eddie, everybody’s a little broken. Sometimes those pieces aren’t meant to be fixed. They’re meant to be mended by opening ourselves up to others and letting them heal us. We can glue the parts back together but the cracks will always be there. They remain as scars to remind us of how strong we are, to remind us not to make the same mistakes twice. I’m not exactly perfectly put together myself.”

“That’s not what I mean. You have no idea. You’re not nearly as fucked up as I am. You might need a little glue but I am destined for the trash heap. My pieces can’t ever be put back the way that they were. They’ve been smashed into dust.”

“Okay, so what?” you insisted, your elbows coming down onto the counter as you leaned over it. “Maybe you can’t be put back the way you were before but maybe that’s not a bad thing. Maybe you have an opportunity to put the pieces back differently, in a way that’s even better, stronger. That is, if your stubborn ass would ever be willing to let someone in to help you. Reassembling yourself is not a one man job, Eddie. It requires a village and you have one. You just have to let them in.”

The pad of his thumb ran over the nail of his opposite one, that tongue of his slipping out, playing at the corner of his mouth. You were making him nervous. You had no idea how you’d learned to read him so well so quickly but you had. Eddie might think he was some mysterious conundrum but he wore his emotions on his sleeve and he had particular tells when something was off.

“Would…” He breathed in slowly, closing his eyes for a moment, and then they opened, finding yours. Your grip on the counter tightened, your legs like a jellyfish, the intensity in his stare almost sending you to the ground. “Would you consider yourself a part of that village?”

“I don’t know,” you admitted, shrugging. “I told you before that I wanted to be if you’d let me but you don’t seem to want to. I get that you don’t know me that well. You have no reason to trust me and now, I don’t know if I can trust you. I mean, you’re only the second guy I slept with and you disappeared on me. Kind of makes it a little challenging to be open and trusting.”

“The…wait…” Eddie’s head shook, mouth open in a silent question while he got his bearings. “You seriously had only ever been with your ex? I was…shit.” His palm ran down his face and over his chin.

You turned quickly, grabbing dry dishes from the rack next to the sink. You began putting them away, anything to keep your hands busy, to keep from looking at him. Great. You really needed to stop putting your foot in your mouth. Now he really thought you were stupid and pathetic. You’d only ever been with two guys your entire life and both had screwed you over. Eddie was probably enjoying this, relishing the fact that you were the shallow airhead he’d pinned you as the night you met.

“Princess…”

The hairs on the back of your neck rose, a shiver running down your spine. Eddie was so close behind you that you could feel his words, his breath softly moving your hair. Your eyes slipped close, your body responding to him the way it always did. Your damn body was a betraying bitch. Why did he have such an effect on you and why was he so damn close?

“I’m really sorry,” he whispered softly. “I had no idea that I was your first after your split. I had no idea that I was only your second. I guess I should have. You said you’d been with him since high school. Shit. I feel like all I do is apologize to you. I know I’ve been a dick. I know you have no reason to but do you think you can forgive me?”

Could you? Yes. Would you? Yes. Should you? Probably not but you’d never been able to do what you should do when it came to him. What was the point in starting now? You knew you were probably setting yourself up to have your heart broken again. You were probably setting yourself up to be humiliated again but you couldn’t stay away from him. You could try to kid yourself. You could tell yourself whatever you wanted but you knew it wasn’t true.

Your silence must have felt like an answer to him because his warmth vanished from behind you. You could hear his boots treading heavily across the hardwood floor as he made his way to the door. You should let him go. You should let him walk out the door and put an end to this thing now before it got out of control and you were too deeply in. But you were already too deep. You were hundreds of feet below the surface, kicking your legs, but unable to breach, every fiber of you completely consumed with him.

“Eddie…” You spun around as you finally broke the silence.

His head turned, eyes filled with so much hope that you were overcome with a desire to give him anything he wanted just to keep it there. You walked toward him, your hand reaching for his cheek, your heart constricting when his eyes closed, his face turning into it as if relishing the simple human contact. This man was so touch starved, desperate for affection from someone. Desperate for someone to think he was worth something, for someone to care for him, someone more than just a friend, someone he could be the most important to. He hadn’t said it. He never would probably but his body language was screaming it, just hoping for someone to finally hear.

Were you strong enough to take a chance on him? Were you strong enough to push past all his defenses? You didn’t know. Maybe not, but you were damn sure willing to find out because nothing scared you more than the thought of him walking out, the thought that you might never feel for anyone else the way you felt for him. The thought that this all consuming need and desire would never take you over again was unbearable.

His hand came up to cover yours but this time he didn’t remove it. He held it there as he opened his eyes, gazing down at you with such longing that you struggled to maintain eye contact. His other hand wrapped around your waist, pulling your body toward his until your pelvis was flush against him, feeling how much he wanted you at that moment. Your breath hitched as his head dipped, his lips hovering just above yours.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly.

“Are you sure?” you shot back at him, putting the ball in his court. You hadn’t been the one to walk away. You hadn’t been the one who shut this down. You’d been sure from the moment your lips met. You needed to know if he was sure.

“I am so fucking sure,” Eddie rasped, his thumb moving to your lips, brushing along the bottom one.

“Prove it,” you challenged.

Chapter 15

Taglist

@tlclick73 @bebe07011 @eddiesguitarskills @witchwolflea @nailbatanddungeon @emilyslutface @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @corrodedcoffincumslut @mmunson86 @josephquinnsfreckles @katethetank

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thenerdnextdoorxo · 1 year

Note

this one inspired me the most

can i ask you to write something where tony adopts a kid from foster care and the team is trying to get her to open up but she locks herself in her room because she's used to moving from home to home or being abused in the system so she's scared to do anything normal like interact and stuff like that. when they showed her room on the first day she was hesitant to go in bc she's used to poor treatment. Wanda and Nat are the first ones to notice her behavior and they point it out to the rest of the team. they come up with a plan to help her but it only pushes her further away from them bc she isn't used to that much attention. they decide that when she's ready she'll come to them so one game night she tip toes downstairs and peaks in the living room to see them having a good time. wanda or vision senses her energy and she tries to silently sneak back but they invite her in and she reluctantly joins them. she isn't too familiar with the games they're playing so they teach her then afterwards they watch a bunch of movies and they're glad they can give her the family she never had

Aww that's so cute

Ever since you were adopted by Tony, the avengers noticed how you were so withdrawn from them. They didn't think much of it though, you were in a new environment with new people so they never really assumed that you would warm up to them immediately. You on the other hand, were terrified. The adoption center that you were in was not good at all. The adoption center that you lived in for almost your whole life was treating children like trash and they were not providing enough supplies for children.

So when you moved in to the tower you didn't expect a good treatment. You always kept your guard up, talked in a formal way, always putting on your best behavior, but being tens all the time is not healthy. Wanda and Natasha pointed that out after they noticed how you were shaking a bit when they showed you around the tower and how your eyes were wide open.

They felt bad about you and they couldn't imagine what kind of shit you were living in and Tony was furious. How could they do this to kids? He promised himself that he would deal with them later, but now, you need him. The avengers sat down and decided to come up with a plan to get you to warm up to them more. The plan was since your birthday is near, Tony decided that he would throw one of his parties at the tower for your birthday and he wanted it to be memorable.

It was memorable indeed since you literally ran off the stage as soon as Tony introduced you to the guests, and when he ran up to you to apologize, you didn't stop to listen to him and hid inside your room for days. Some of them came to your room to try to get you out of it but it was easier said than done. You didn't move out of your room unless you wanted to use the bathroom. On one of these times that you needed to use the bathroom, you snuck out of your room and slowly walked to the bathroom, and when you were done and on your way back to your room, you heard the sound of people talking in the living room.

You were confused, it was really late at night, who is up at this hour? You slowly tip toed your way to the living room and you peeked through the slightly opened door to see that it was actually the avengers. Not only that it surprised you, but it also surprised you that they were playing monopoly. You heard of the game but you never actually played it nor know how to play it at all. Being telepathic, Wanda heard your thoughts and looked at the door trying to find where you were. "Hey Y/N, sorry, did we wake you up?" She asked and everyone looked at the direction she was looking at to see you.

"N-no, I was already awake," You replied, hesitant. "Hey kid, you wanna play?" Asked Tony, raising his hand to show you the fake monopoly money he was holding in his hand. "I never played monopoly before, I don't know how to play it," You said in a voice a little bit higher than a whisper. "It's alright kiddo, we can teach you, come on in," Steve said patting the seat beside him for you to sit in. You sat down and then they began to explain the rules for you and you understood them and wanted to play with them.

For that entire time you were having fun for the first time in years and you were so grateful for it. The avengers were relieved that you were finally opening up to them and getting closer to them. You even laughed at one of Tony's stupid jokes. Tony took that as a huge improvement and swore to himself that he will protect you and keep you safe and happy with him and the rest of the team no matter what.

They all made that swear secretly to themselves. They couldn't get you to be sad and hurt after all, can they?

================================================

I have been binge watching shows for the past three days and I feel like I don't belong to reality lmao

My requests are open

<3333

#avengers x reader #marvel imagine #platonic marvel #marvel x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #tony x reader #steve x reader #tony x daughter!reader

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cator99 · 3 months

Text

Had a really awesome time with my district manager today. She spent a significant amount of time clowning on her ex as we worked... he was just some ex-con loser who she had initially said was "from Chicago", only to reveal that they'd gotten into an (online– ldr) argument which led to him calling her a "Mongrel" and then blocking her in every capacity to which I said Now Hold On... When you said "from Chicago"... you mean the suburbs don't you. "No, he's from Chicago," she said, "Northbrook." Oh girl. No........... We went on like this for over an hour just absolutely digging in on this guy, who ended up moving to Florida of all fucking places to escape his ex who had been trying to kill him for years and seemed like she had ample reason and finally after this lengthy story of this messy long-term long distance relationship she offhandedly mentioned that the dude had actually ended up dying under mysterious circumstances years after they'd cut contact... probably wasnt even the exes doing. Dude sounded like he made enemies everywhere he stepped. Unbearable guy. Florida suddenly made sense– from what I understand its where people go to die. But yeah him dropping dead and her being questioned about it was absolutely an afterthought to the conversation. Anyway yes this is the district manager that has been touching all up on me as FUCK and treating me like her special little pet (she cannot stand anyone else... no one knows how to deal with rural-raised women better than I... sigh) but to be completely honest the most shocking part of the entire story was finding out that she's not a total lesbian (I keep telling myself to STOP assuming that assertive single childless hardworking business-oriented women in their 40s who don't wear makeup or feminine attire are dykes but every time without fail just when I start losing hope is when they start placing their hands on my lower back at every opportunity calling me baby and finding excuses to give me back massages or place her head on my shoulder... many such cases... absolutely not the vibe of my workplace or her for that matter everyone else thinks she is a massive cunt bitch. And she totally is. To them. Because they're not Perfect Tyler. This phenomena is interesting because generally straight women are usually uncomfortable around dykes and know that if she presses her tits to my back I'll be thinking about it fr so yeah generally they dont. um. Do that. But as soon as I started boy passing the white trash ladies began to flock eyeing me up like sweet meats)..... yea she's just one of the Other types I tend to draw which falls into the "40 year old lonely bicurous woman" category who likes that I am reminescent of the boys she crushed on in her youth except I'm actually a 27 year old female so I act a bit less retarded

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blissfullyecho · 1 year

Note

Do you have any tips on leveling up after a breakup? I'm heartbroken.... he cheated on me and is now FB/IG official with the girl today (we broke up yesterday) and it's almost like we never even dated for the few years we have. Now I want to level up BIG TIME

leveling up after a breakup where the loser broke your heart:

first and foremost, what a loser. i hate that you’re going through this because i wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemy. but God has something better for you and maybe this had to happen so you CAN START your level up and get something much much better down the road. that’s what happened to me at least 🫶🏼

step 1: good riddance to him. it’s okay to cry and be angry, but do not be angry with yourself. don’t second guess what YOU did wrong and if YOU were the issue. he obviously has issues. delete, block, throw away anything and everything— physically and digitally that was his or was from him (unless they were nice gifts like diamonds and bags— you keep those lol). he wants to move on like you never existed? you do the same.

step 2: people either get 40% better or 40% worse after a breakup. don’t eat the tub of ice cream every night on your couch watching romance movies. make healthy decisions. treat yourself to whatever, but don’t go overboard. i did that with my ex and gained 30lbs and it made me feel more insecure.

step 3: indulge in level up content on all platforms. you may need the constant reminder to better yourself and i assume you’re on social media for the most part, so make social media work for you. this might make you feel better being reminded that you can be better than the girl he broke up/cheated on (you).

step 4: DO NOT DATE RIGHT NOW. you might feel lonely, you might want affection, i get it. we’ve all been there. but what’s going to happen is that the guys you date (if you date them too soon), will have you comparing them to the good things your ex once did. no guy is the same and you are going to feel worse because “these guys aren’t like him”. wait out on these guys for now until you are better than where you are now and i’m saying on a mental level.

step 5: re-evaluate your standards. what were the things you accepted from him that you didn’t really like but you let it slide? create a list of your “must haves” and “like to haves” for the guys you date in the future and stick to those standards.

step 6: learn to date yourself. create a list of things you’ve always wanted to do in the relationship but didn’t have the time to do it. maybe there were things you always wanted to do but you didn’t do them because he didn’t want you to. create that list and start getting to work. make yourself happy and SPOIL yourself with saying “yes” to everything you want to do.

step 7: do not stalk him or her. no checking their social media— even if it’s a year down the road. he’s in the trash bin. who cares what he’s doing. who cares what she’s doing. your standards have already increased. if you have to deactivate your socials for right now, do that. that’s what i had to do.

step 8: along with step 7, your TRUE friends and REAL family should not be giving you updates/tea on him or his life/relationship. that’s toxic and an immediate “no”.

step 9: work on yourself. find areas in your life that you want to improve on and start working on them each day. even if they are baby steps. if you continue your baby steps, eventually you’ll reach your goal.

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dialovers-translations · 1 year

Text

DIABOLIK LOVERS VERSUS SONG Bloody Night Animate Tokuten Drama CD ”The Contest is the Smell of Money!? ~The Vampires’ Desire~”

Original title: コンクールはお金の香り!?～ヴァンパイアたちの欲望

Source: Diabolik Lovers VERSUS SONG Animate Tokuten Drama CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Takahiro Sakurai, Kimura Ryouhei & Morikawa Toshiyuki

Translator’s note: Once again, the Vampires prove that they are more human than anyone else because their number one motivator in life is...sweet, sweet money. xD They’re all so thirsty for cash 99% of the time, it’s honestly hilarious. I wonder what else you could push them to do, just because there’s a large amount of prize money on the line. The climax of this CD kind of caught me off guard because I expected they would just royally fuck up on the day of the concert but no...They never even got to enter lol. Great move by the MC. They don’t really hint at what her explanation for not submitting the application on time was, but I want to believe that she did it on purpose to get revenge for all the times they treated her like trash. You go girl.

*Rustle*

Ayato: Haah…God…The fuck is this? And here I thought I’d head straight home to pick on Chichinashi…Oi, you. Have you heard anythin’ ‘bout what’s goin’ on?

*Flip*

Ruki: Hm…

Ayato: Oi, bastard! You’re just gonna ignore me, huh!?

Ruki: Was my lack of a response not clear enough of an answer?

Ayato: Aah…!?

Ruki: Haah…

Ruki closes his book.

Ruki: I haven’t heard anything. Now relax. I am sure we will find out sooner or later.

Ayato: But you know…Whoever decided to gather this group of people here must be fuckin’ bonkers. I feel like we’re bein’ set up for some weird shit.

*Rustle*

Kou: Well…I guess I can’t blame you for feeling that way…

Carla: Heh…

Ayato: Anyway, how come you’re here as well, Carla? I can’t imagine you’d actually show up under normal circumstances.

Carla: Is my appearance truly that puzzling?

Ruki: Well, I do believe you must have a solid reason for doing so.

Kou: I mean, Mr. ‘Almighty Founder’ doesn’t even show up for class usually, does he~?

Carla: I had nothing better to do, that is all.

Ayato: Smells fishy.

Kou: Right? I can only imagine you have some kind of ulterior motive.

Carla: You fiends…Who do you think you are talking to…?

Ayato: Hah!? You wanna throw down!? Fine, I accept your challenge!

Reiji: Come on now, everyone. Please stop getting up in each other’s faces like that.

Ruki: Hm? This voice is…?

Reiji enters the room.

*Rattle*

Ayato: Reiji…? Don’t tell me you’re the one who…?

Reiji: I had no other choice. Otherwise you lot would have never shown up.

Carla: Oi, you. You are the one who summoned me here. So it must be safe to assume that you had a good reason for doing so?

Reiji: You are rather impatient, are you not? I shall explain shortly, so please wait a few more minutes.　ーー For starters, I would like all of you to take a look at this.

Reiji starts distributing flyers.

*Flip*

Carla: …Hm? …This isーー!?

Ruki: Could it be…?

Ayato: Haah!? A music competition!?

Reiji: Exactly. We will participate in it.

Kou: Eh? You’re joking, right?

Reiji: No, I am dead serious.

Ayato: …!? Are you out of your mind!? You want to sign up with the people gathered here?

Reiji: Yes. I have carefully selected a group of people who would aim for victory.

Ruki: I see…You are after the prize money, correct?

Kou: Hm? What do you mean?

Carla: Take a good look at the flyer. Especially at the part about the prize.

*Flip*

Ayato: …!? For real…!? The winner gets…ten thousand dollars!? (1)

Kou: No way!?

Ruki: It must be a print mistake of some sorts, right?

Shuu: Sounds too suspicious.

Reiji: Oh my, Shuu. Seems like someone has finally woken up.

Shuu: You really think I could sleep with you guys making such a fuss?

Reiji: I believe it is more likely that it was the prize money which caught your attention…But oh well. Ahem. I have already contacted the organizers about it. It would appear that our school would like to shift their focus on attracting promising artists, so to catch the attention of potential stars from all across the country, they have chosen to attach a bountiful prize to the contest.

Kou: I see. I expected no less from Reiji-kun! Nothing gets past you.

Reiji: Of course not. …So, what will you do?

Ayato: What do you mean? Are you askin’ us whether we’ll participate or not?

Reiji: Yes…According to my data, the people I have gathered here have the highest chance at success.

Shuu: And how exactly? We’re the only ones who have any sort of musical talent, right?

Kou: Excuse me!? I have published my own CDs, you know!?

Shuu: Those are not even worth mentioning.

Kou: Haah!?

Shuu: I mean, think about it. We’re joining a musical competition, not some kind of concert. Unless you’ve actually taken proper vocal music classes?

Reiji: Shuu…It would appear to me that you don’t understand the true meaning of a contest.

Shuu: What do you mean?

Reiji: In a contest, the winner is decided by the judges’ votes. In other words…By people.

Ruki: I see. So appearance is an important factor as well.

Reiji: Exactly. I am glad you are quick to understand.

Kou: In other words…Since I’m a good-looking idol, it’s possible that I could appeal to the judges?

Ruki: Exactly. Humans are so easily won over by appearance. It is possible they will let you get away with making some mistakes because your looks make up for it.

Kou: Ruki-kun, how mean…That doesn’t make me happy at all.

Shuu: Then what about the other two guys? Ayato most likely has zero experience with music whatsoever, and I can’t imagine old man Carla (2) over there playing music either.

Carla: You fiends…You really do not hold back at all, do you? Calling me elderly, a fossil or even an old woman!

Kou: Wait, nobody ever called you an old woman, did they?

Ayato: I actually took violin lessons many, many years ago!

Reiji: Exactly. I remember.

Shuu: Are you talking about when aunt Cordelia forced him to start taking classes in hopes of competing against us?

Ruki: Heeh…The eldest triplet plays the violin, huh? That’s new information to me.

Shuu: If I recall correctly…He gave up after just one week and smashed his instrument.

Ayato: Just so you know, that wasn’t my fault!

Shuu: Hm?

Ayato: That hysteric old hag destroyed it during one of her crazy moments. I mean, I was glad that I didn’t have to bother with those lessons anymore.

Shuu: …I guess destroying violins was her thing, huh?

Reiji: …W-Well…Anyway! He isn’t a complete amateur when it comes to music, so his chances are somewhat higher than any of the other guys. …And you, Carla, you are none other than a Founder, aren’t you?

Carla: …!

Reiji: The cream of the crop of all Demons…A First Blood. Therefore I believe it is only safe to assume that you would have no issues mastering music, a human invention?

Carla: W-Well…

Ruki: I guess it might be tricky after all?

Carla: A-As if…! I am a First Blood! A Founder! There is nothing I cannot do!

*Clap clap clap*

Reiji: A true Founder!

Shuu: …I wonder.

Reiji: That being said, what will you all do? Will you participate?

Ruki: I would like to ask one question. I assume that we will be splitting the prize money even amongst all participants?

Reiji: Hm? Of course.

Ruki: In that case, I’m in. Kou as well.

Kou: Eh!? Excuse me!? Why!?

Ruki: Don’t play dumb now. Whose fault do you think it is that we have to be so careful with our spendings?

Kou: …!? W-Well…

Ruki: It is your fault for being such an impulsive buyer. Isn’t that right?

Kou: Nnー...

Ayato: …I don’t want to! Joining a contest sounds like a big pain in the ass.

Reiji: Hooh? Is that so? What a shame…If you were to win, then the ‘takoyaki pool’ you have dreamt of for years might just be able to become reality.

Ayato: …!?

Shuu: I’m skipping out as well. It’s obviously too much trouble.

Reiji: Oh dear, is that so? I mean, I personally don’t mind since the less people participate, the less people we have to split the money between. …You might just be able to buy the antique gramophone you’ve been wanting so badly though.

Shuu: …!?

Reiji: Ah, right, right! The jamon iberico you love so much, Carla, you should be able to purchase a few logs of it with the prize money.

Carla: …!! You shall not bribe me with such a thing!!

Reiji: Ahaha. Of course not. You are a lofty Founder after all. You must not let yourself be won over by money, correct?

Carla: Exactly!

Reiji: However…It truly is a shame, isn’t it? It would be such a perfect opportunity to get an entire log of the finest quality jamon iberico. That vaguely nutty flavor spreading inside your mouth…growing stronger and stronger as you chew. Seasoned to perfection.

Carla: …Ah…

Reiji: I suppose you three do not want any of those things. It is a shame, truly.

Ayato, Shuu & Carla: …

Ayato: G-Guess I have no other choice…If you insist…I suppose I do have some free time on my hands anyway.

Shuu: I had been thinking it was about time I picked up the violin again…I guess this is the perfect opportunity.

Reiji: Oh my, is that so? I am glad.

*Rustle*

Reiji: Then, what about you, Carla?

Carla: Hm…I shall help you out. It is one of my many duties as a Founder to show compassion towards the lower masses after all.

Reiji: I see. I am terribly grateful for that.

Ruki: Seems like we’ve come to a conclusion. In that case, we should apply at once. I shall head to the agency at oーー

Reiji: Ah! About that, I suggest we leave that up to her. She does not seem to have anything better to do after all.

Ruki: Hm. I understand. Let us start practicing at once then. Time is money. If we want to aim for victory, then we have no other choice but to practice as much as we can.

Kou: But what exactly will we do with our group? We can’t pull off an orchestra, can we?

Reiji: Please do not worry about that. I have come with a plan. We will participate in two groups of three members each.

Ruki: I see. To get as much out of it as we can, correct?

Carla: What do you mean?

*Flip*

Ruki: According to this flyer, a prize will be awarded to both first and second place. If we participate in two groups and get both prizes…

Reiji: The combined prize money would be fifteen million yen. Split amongst us six, it means each of us would get a total of two million fifty thousand yen.

Ayato: Woah…! Amazing!

Reiji: Right? As for the groups…I suggest Kou, Carla and myself as one group and Shuu, Ayato and Ruki as the other, effectively splitting up Shuu and myself as we have the most experience with music.

Ruki: I believe those are well-balanced groups.

Reiji: Why of course. I put them together based on precise, evidence-based data after all.

*Rattle*

Kou: Ah! M-neko-chan~!

Ayato: Chichinashi!

Reiji: Oh dear, what’s the matter? Is there something you need?

You explain.

Reiji: I see. You came to check up on us? Well, I suppose you would find it intriguing why the teacher would lend us the music classroom and its instruments.

Ayato: Perfect timing! Chichinashi, you should join our team!

*Rustle*

Kou: Eh? Hold up! M-neko-chan is coming this way…She’s joining our group!

Ayato: Haah!? Excuse me!?

*Clap clap clap*

Reiji: Stop right there, no fighting! While we may have split up in two groups, we are still on the same team.

Ruki: Exactly. Now is not the time to have a fall-out. …Oi, Livestock. You shall listen to our performance as we practice and act as our advisor.

Shuu: Well, I guess we need someone who can give us some objective input. Let’s not question whether or not she’s the right person to do so though…

Reiji: Ahem. Well then, I suppose we should discuss within our teams who will play which instrument first.

*TIMESKIP*

*Rustle*

Reiji: Well then…As for our team, I believe it makes most sense to start by asking which instrument each of you feels most comfortable with and then we can decide on our line-up based on that.

Kou: Hm…Why not? Seems like the most logical solution.

Carla: I am a Founder. You can assign me any instrument you like.

Reiji: What…do you mean by that?

Carla: That I can play each one with ease.

Kou: Really!?

Carla: Why would I lie about such a thing?

Reiji: I see. I suppose you were not simply bluffing earlier. In which case, I shall randomly assign you an instrument…Kou, what about you?

Kou: Um…I could probably handle the end-blow flute, the triangle, the tambourine…

Reiji: Any string or wind instruments?

Kou: Hm… For percussion instruments, maybe the djembe, ngoma? (3)

Carla: What are those?

Kou: They’re African instruments! The locals taught me how to play them when I visited the area during one of my on location photo shoots.

Reiji: Those are some awfully niche choices…As an idol, are you not capable of playing any instruments with a little more flair? Like the piano or the flute?

Kou: Hmー I can play some simple tunes with one hand on the piano…

Reiji: That simply won’t do…

Carla: I mean, we do not actually need to play for real, do we?

Kou: Huh? What do you mean?

Carla: All you need to do is pretend to be playing. Say we go for a violin trio, then only Reiji and myself need to be able to actually play the instrument.

Reiji: I see. I suppose we have that option as well.

Carla: Exactly. One cannot get delicious cured ham by only playing fair.

Reiji: Exactly. …Nor will I be able to get my hands on that high-tech built-in kitchen…

Kou: Huh? Did you say something just now?

Reiji: No, not at all.

You try to convince them to keep things fair.

Carla: Excuse me? Did you say something just now?

Reiji: Hmー Well…I suppose it is true that we risk losing our prize money if they find out that we cheated.

Kou: I’ll do the vocals instead then! Although I haven’t actually ever taken proper singing classes like Shuu-kun mentioned either.

Reiji: That sounds good. Let us go with that. You should not have any complaints then either, correct?

You nod.

Reiji: Well then. From the various scores I have brought with me…

*Flip flip*

Reiji: This one should work. Let us practice this for about an hour and then we can try to put everything together.

Carla: I can go right here, right now.

Reiji: Oh, come on. At least check the score first.

Carla: Hmph.

You start walking away.

Carla: Oi, you. Where are you going?

You explain.

Carla: Ah…You want to go check up on the other group? …Well, I am somewhat curious as well. Now that I have decided I will participate, I definitely do not want to lose to them.

Kou: Eeh~? We don’t really need to compete amongst each other, right? As long as one of our groups wins, we’ll split the prize money anyway.

Carla: That is not my style.

Reiji: Hm…I guess you have a point. I believe it only makes sense to want to aim for first place with our group.

Kou: Hm…Well, I guess being ‘first’ sounds kind of nice.

Carla: Oi, woman. You heard us. I shall allow you to investigate the other group. Once you are done, I expect you to report back to me at once. Understood?

Kou: M-neko-chan, we’re counting on you~! Off you go~!

You head towards the other group.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Well then…About our group…The two of you don’t need to do anything. Or rather, please don’t.

Ayato: Aah!? The fuck!? What do you mean!?

Shuu: I don’t want you two to hold me back.

Ayato: That tone of yours is really pissin’ me off. You usually don’t give a shit ‘bout anythin’, so what makes today different?

Shuu: My gramophone is on the line here…Besides, music is kind of dear to me. Oh well, my reasoning doesn't matter. Anyway, it’d obviously be better for me to perform a solo act than to try and force some weird instrumental trio.

Ayato: Look who’s talking when you haven’t even heard me perform yet!

Shuu: I’m saying this because I unfortunate have heard you play.

Ayato: Ah!? For real!?

Shuu: Back in the past, I thought some idiot was playing around by opening and closing some rusty, old door of our castle, when it turned out the sound was coming from you playing the violin.

Ayato: …!!

Shuu: Besides, you haven’t touched the violin in years, have you?

Ayato: W-Well…

Shuu: I’m spot on, aren’t I? …As for you, Ruki, I’m pretty sure you grew up in an environment where music was the least of your worries?

Ruki: It appears you have quite the faulty image of me. I was actually rather good at playing the violin.

Shuu: Heeh…That’s surprising. In that case…Why don’t you show me what you’ve got?

*Rustle*

Shuu grabs one of the violins and plays a bit.

Shuu: …You can choose any song you want, try and play a bit.

Ruki: Very well.

Ruki plays the violin as well.

Ruki: …As easy as pie.

Ayato: …Kuh!

Shuu: …Heeh. You’re not half bad.

Ruki: What do you think? I bet you wouldn’t mind letting me join the performance now?

Shuu: I mean, I have to admit that you are miles above Ayato in terms of skill.

Ayato: Ugh…Fuck off! Do you really have to put it like that!? I can easily pull that off as well!

Ayato grabs the violin.

Ayato: Gimme that!

*Rustle*

Ayato: Now listen closely, ‘kay? ーー Kuh!

Ayato plays the violin badly.

Ruki: Ugh…What a disaster…

Shuu: Kuh…Cut it out! You’re making my ears bleed!

Ayato: …Huh? That’s weird…? Fuck! One more try!

*Rustle*

He plays just as badly.

Shuu: …Enough!

Shuu steals the violin from him as you walk up to them.

Ruki: …Hm? Oh, it’s you, Livestock. Why do you look terrified?

You explain.

Shuu: Hm? Screams? Ahー That was Ayato playing the violin. You’re not wrong to compare it to someone screeching.

Ayato: Chichinashi, you bitch…!

Ruki: Well, I guess you realize why you have to give up now?

Shuu: Just pretend you are playing instead.

You protest.

Shuu: …I know you’re against cheating but you heard his performance earlier, didn’t you?

You offer for Ayato to sing instead.

Ruki: Kou will be singing for the other group? Which means…

Shuu: Vocals, huh?

Ayato: …I just gotta sing, right!?

Shuu: Guess we have no other choice. Let’s go with that.

Ayato: I’ll blow your socks off with my beautiful voice!

Shuu: Anyway, you got a feel of what the other group’s doing, right? How are things coming together?

You explain.

Ruki: I see. The other group as well. I cannot wait to show them what we’ve got.

Ayato: I mean, as long as we do a half-decent job, we shouldn’t lose to them, right?

Shuu: Anyway, we should probably get some practice in as well and then come back together after an hour.

Ruki: Agreed.

*TIMESKIP*

Reiji: Well then, we should probably show each other what we’ve got so far.

Ruki: We just gathered together again. I believe your group did as well?

Reiji: Yes, exactly. …You seem very well informed.

Carla: You must have a lot of time on hand to eavesdrop on our group from the shadows.

Shuu: She’s the one who informed you guys as well, right? We’re in the same boat then.

Carla & Reiji: …!!

Kou: Why are you guys being so competitive towards each other when we’re all working towards the same goal…? I mean, whatever. Anyway, let’s just get to it. This isn’t the real deal yet. We’re only practicing.

Ruki: Even so, we still have to try our best.

Reiji: Exactly. Well then, how will we go about this? I believe this is the prime opportunity to decide which one of our groups is superior in terms of skill.

Carla: Fufufu…I shall show you something truly breathtaking!

Kou: Uwah~ It’s no use. His switch got flipped.

Carla: Oi, woman! You shall judge who is the superior group, understood?

Ayato: Hey, bastard! Don’t be threatenin’ Chichinashi now! She’s gonna get scared and favor you guys as a result!

Carla: I am not intimidating her in the slightest. Once you hear our performance, it will be clear that we will come out victorious. …Oi, Four-Eyes. Let us begin.

Reiji: …’Four-Eyes’, could you be referring to me, by any chance?

Carla: You are the only one here wearing glasses, are you not?

*Rustle*

Reiji: …I am rather displeased by that remark.

Kou: Let’s get this party started~! …Ah, by the way, you’ll have to wait to hear me sing until the actual performance day~

*Rustle*

Reiji and Carla start playing the violin.

Shuu: They’re not bad…

Ruki: No, wait…Take a look at Carla.

Carla: Haah…

Ayato: Haah?

Kou: Eh!? The bow’s moving by itself…!? Could it be…?

Ruki: It’s magic! He’s using his magic to play the violin…!

Shuu: Haah…

Carla: Phew…There you go, I did not even break a sweat.

Reiji: Hahaha…First place is as good as ours. …Right? Hey, you!

*Bzz bzzt*

Reiji: …!? E-Excuse me!?

Carla: Do you have a problem with our performance!?

Kou: I mean, you can hardly blame her. Any normal person would be in shock after seeing that performance from earlier.

Reiji: …! Carla! This would not be an issue if you would simply use your hands as you play!

Carla: T-That’s…

Reiji: Hm? Don’t tell me…You cannot?

Carla: …!!

Shuu: Fufu…Hilarious.

Ayato: This competition is ours!

You point out that they have yet to play.

Ayato: …Ah? I mean, sure, we haven’t performed yet, but it’s so obvious.

Ruki: I mean, why not give them a listen?

Shuu: Haah…It’s a drag but I guess we have no other choice. I’m sure they’ll admit defeat after hearing us play.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Anyway, for now, we’ll let you hear the violin part. Let’s go.

Shuu and Ruki start playing.

Carla & Reiji: …!!

Ayato: Hehe! How’s that? Pissin’ your pants?

Kou: Both of them are actually using their hands to play! I had no idea Ruki-kun was gifted at the violin!

Reiji: …!! …This is rather infuriating.

False notes start mixing in.

Reiji: Hm? …T-This is…!!

Carla: What is going on…!?

Kou: Aah! Ow! What a horrible noise…Stop! Time out!!

Shuu: …!! Oi, Ruki! What was that just now!?

Ruki: What do you mean? I played the violin.

Kou: We know that! You started off great but then it all went downhill halfway through!?

Ruki: Ah, about that. Oh well, do not let that bother you.

Reiji: How are we supposed to do that!?

Ruki: It’s the first few notes which truly matter. In short, as long as I can make a good first impression, the tone has already been set for an amazing piece.

Shuu: Haah…In other words, you can only play well for a couple of seconds?

Carla: Hahaha! I guess that means we have won.

Ayato: Oi, Chichinashi! What’s the verdict of this competition?

You frown.

Kou: I’m pretty sure both groups had issues of our own? …But I doubt these guys will let this pass without there being a clear winner.

The other guys act competitive towards each other.

Kou: Hm? What was that? We should wait for a winner to be declared until the day of the actual competition? Makes sense. It’s not like there’s any point in fighting over it right now.

Shuu: Oi, Ruki. I expect you to master the rest of the score by then.

Reiji: Carla! You should learn to play with your hands as well! Come on, start practicing at once!

Ayato: …Seems like those two got stuck in between Shuu and Reiji’s personal conflict.

Kou: Oh well, whatever. All that matters is that we get our hands on those ten million yen by winning both first and second prize! We better give it our best shot.

*TIMESKIP*

Ruki: ( ーー And so, we continued to practice playing the violin from dusk till dawn for days on end. )

Carla: ( It was more challenging and daunting than any task I had faced in the past. )

Reiji: ( All I want is to surpass Shuu’s team! )

Shuu: ( I became more serious about honing my violin skills than ever before, all for the sake of that gramophone. )

Ayato: ( Even I - who wasn’t too thrilled about the whole idea at first - got very serious about the competition. )

Kou: ( Everyone held tightly onto their violin’’s bow, as the moment of truth arrivedーー )

*Rustle*

Ruki: …Ridiculous! Can someone please explain this to me!?

Kou: R-Ruki-kun, calm down…

Ruki: How am I supposed to keep calm in a situation like this!?

Shuu: Unbelievable…

Reiji: You! I am fairly sure I told you to submit our application in time so how has this happened?

You explain.

Reiji: Haah…I was a fool for entrusting you with this task. ーー Well, all of us know how to properly play now, so let us put those skills to good use at the next given opportunity, I suppose. …Right, Carla?

Carla: …W-Wha…?

Ayato: Oi, do you also smell trouble?

Kou: Yeah, you’re right…

Ayato: Let’s dip before it’s too late!

Kou: Good idea…

Ayato and Kou sneak away.

Carla: Haha…Hahaha…

Reiji: Good grief…Laughter is the only thing coming out of him.

Carla: Ahahaha…!

Shuu & Ruki: …!?

Carla: You bastards…!!

*WOOSH*

Reiji: …Carla!? R-Relax! Everyone makes mistakes! Let us remain calm and talk it out!

*BOOM*

Carla: My Iberico serranoーーーー!!

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) 一千万 or ‘issenman’ is 10.000.000 or ten million yen, when converted to dollar, it would be around ten thousand dollars.

(2) Shuu calls him 化石男 or ‘kaseki otoko’ which literally means ‘fossil guy’.

(3) There’s one third instrument he mentions but I could not find what it is for the life of me. To me it sounds like he’s saying ‘zunzun’ or ‘zunzu’ but I couldn’t find any African instruments with that name.

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #ruki mukami #kou mukami #carla tsukinami

216 notes · View notes

blasphemecel · 1 year

Text

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez — HADŌ 98: Massage

PAIRING: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez/Reader WORD COUNT: 3k TYPE: Humor, Maybe a little fluff(???) WARNING(S): None I think but there’s a lot of slapstick jokes and like maybe 2 innuendos

Grimmjow is prone to staring down at people and appearing vaguely murderous. Sometimes he glares at you, and sometimes he glares at Urahara and Yoruichi, but you ignore him when he does that. His expressions can border on contemplative, though you doubt there's anything worthwhile running through his head. You imagine his thoughts to be split like this: 60% auto-fellatio, 30% killing people he dislikes or ones who mildly inconvenience him in his mind and 10% a secret, third thing.

Currently, he's giving you a blank look and you can't help but find it funny, the way he's always pushing his jaw out. It must be a tenuous effort, considering he has seduced no one with this move yet, but you opt to ignore him while you scroll through your phone.

You give your friend's video where they're waterboarding someone a like and ignore the post about a ghost named Marmalade Venice haunting you if you don't share her story with thirteen others. Obviously this is all very thrilling and requires your full attention, but Grimmjow breaks the silence.

"Hey." He scratches his head. Briefly, you wonder if Arrancar can get lice. "What's a massage?"

No matter how engaging your tapping was, you disregard it and instead glance at him from the corner of your eye. His general ignorance amuses you since the first time he tried using a blender. He almost hacked his hand off, and you're not sure how he even achieved that. Still, you don't know why he'd be interested in this topic out of the blue. Instead of asking him to elaborate — because you know just how impatient he is, and you take some kind of joy in pissing him off — you merely raise your eyebrows.

"I heard the woman talking about it. What is it?"

"It's a thing," you say unhelpfully before returning your attention to your phone.

You see him reach out towards the object in your grasp; you assume to discard it somewhere and destroy it. Before he can do so, you throw it in the trash can near where you're sitting and kick it away. Grimmjow looks at you in a way which suggests he finds you stupid and perhaps incredulous, and you suppose this is fine since that's what you think about him too.

You crack your knuckles and offer, "Why don't you let me show you if you wanna know so bad?"

"You tryna fight?"

"No, idiot, I'm offering a massage."

Grimmjow frowns at this. When you wiggle your fingers threateningly in his direction, all he asks is, "You ain't expecting me to pay, right?"

You roll your eyes at him. "Trust me Grimmjow, I don't need the dead flies in your pockets."

He bares his teeth at you like that'll scare you and you poke out your tongue at him. For a second you think he's about to grab it and pull it out and probably kill you, but then he seems to remember he wants something from you and restrains himself.

"And how does that work?"

You scratch your chin, wondering how you should go about this, meaning you're already planning how far you'll push it. "First, take off your stupid jacket."

"My jacket is NOT stupid!"

"Is it that serious?"

"Yes," he says, looking at you dead in the eyes. You think he might be trying to intimidate you, but it's not really working.

After you don't scramble to bow down to him and apologize and maybe even cry tears of regret, but simply stare at him like he's only an impudent bug, he huffs and throws the garment on the floor.

"You know, for someone who was really hellbent on defending that jacket, you don't treat it with a lot of care," you point out with a snicker. Maybe you'll step on it later, if you remember.

"It's a fucking jacket, it doesn't need a babysitter."

"Alright, whatever," you dismiss. "It didn't need an attorney either, but here we are."

Grimmjow, most likely unaware of what an attorney is, changes the subject. "Why'd you want me to be naked, anyway? Not that I blame you."

You raise your hand and turn your palm to his face as a telepathic attempt to erase all moronic thoughts from his head. It doesn't work because no one can cure stupidity and Grimmjow's grin drops before he narrows his eyes at you like you're the one being an imbecile.

"You're gonna lie down," you say and point at the futon the two of you usually sleep in when you have to stay overnight at Urahara's place. Grimmjow looks at you strangely and you expect him to oppose you or something, but he surprises you by reluctantly doing what you told him to.

Grimmjow uses his hands as cushions for his head. You can't see what expression he's making like this, but you can only guess he's getting impatient. With minor consideration, you plop your entire weight on top of him, though of course he pretends it's not a big deal and that he was born to power lift or whatever it is he's always yapping about. Almost experimentally, you prod his exposed back with your finger.

It's a little weird like this, but you started it, so you'll act as if it's all normal. The only time you and Grimmjow touch is to slap things out of each other's hands or to wrestle, so the feeling is a little jarring. Though you doubt he has any hangups about it.

"You're a little tense," you say with a twinge of intrigue in your tone.

"I'm not tense. This is the most relaxed I've been in my life," Grimmjow insists.

Your forehead scrunches in annoyance. "Do you have to be so defensive about everything?!"

"I'm not being defensive. You're just delusional."

For a second you're about to give in and entertain this baseless argument — one of many —, but then you decide you'll shut him up for good. You try to press his back, but you find his muscles are... stuck? How fucked up could his back really be? You blink in shock and understand this won't be as easy as you expected.

But it's a challenge, and you don't mind a challenge.

"Are you so shredded 'cause you're always flexing?" you ask, curious how he could be so rigid.

"You like what you see or something?"

"I was taunting you!"

"Oh really? Is that how you make fun of people, by being like 'you're so hot and sexy with big abs'?" he asks sarcastically, going out of his way to glance at you over his shoulder with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"You're doing too much now," you say. "I didn't say all that."

"I hope you ain't embarrassed 'cause you talk a big game."

With a flare of irritation, you use both of your hands to apply pressure. You grimace and back away from him when you hear a loud crunch, but Grimmjow just lets out a sigh of relief. You assume he’s not aware he’s doing this, he’s too prideful for that. It must've been a hard knot.

Either you broke his back, and he liked how it felt or you actually achieved something with this massage, so in your opinion, you did no harm.

You move your hands to his shoulders and knead his muscles there, rubbing tenderly, though if you have to admit it, this is straining you more than you thought it would. You're kind of curious why he's all tight since you see him stretch all the time, though it wouldn't surprise you if you found out he goes way out of his comfort level just to prove himself.

What he's proving, you're not sure, but that's how things stand with Grimmjow.

Something else you find odd is how he's not saying anything useless or otherwise irritating at this moment. You'd expected him to jeer at you and maybe ask you if that's all the strength you have, treat it as a fight and try to provoke you, but all you've drawn out of him so far are sighs and grunts.

Grimmjow, too, predicted he'd dislike the sensation and use it as an excuse to lash out at you. The moment he figured this would involve you touching him in this proximity, he was on alert and ready to dislike it preemptively, but...

He likes it? He feels warm and you're being tender and maybe this is for pussies. However, he'll enjoy it for now. Clearly, this massage shit is something demonic, anyway. You knead his neck and Grimmjow whimpers again, making you try to stifle your laughter at this.

Ooh, he's so pathetic like this! You need to store the occasion in your head as blackmail material.

After you work out his knots, you decide you can find more entertainment and try to think of a way to take advantage of the situation. Then you notice something unpleasant. "Grimmjow you ingrate, are you drooling?!"

"I'm not drooling, stop making shit up," he mumbles like he was on the verge of falling asleep.

"I was gonna put my head on that pillow tonight, you know?"

"Well, too bad. You can sleep in the toilet if you'd like," he tells you with a laugh even though it's not even that funny, if at all.

"I'll spit in your face when you least expect it!"

"Whatever, just keep doing this massage thing."

An idea comes to mind. Instead of massaging him, this time you run your fingers down his back, lightly scraping his skin with your nails, just enough to scratch. Even when he doesn't react, you don't miss the goosebumps breaking out everywhere you touch and the slight shiver which rattles him.

You find yourself somewhat fascinated by this. He's like putty in your hands, so you continue caressing him until it finally occurs to you. "People have only touched you to beat your ass, right? Ha."

"No one beats my ass."

"Yeah, except Ichigo and half the other Espadas, especially Nnoitra-"

Abruptly, Grimmjow sits up and turns around to throw the object nearest to him right in your face, which is an entire table. Then he has the nerve to glare at you even though you already sport an enormous bruise on your forehead from this act of treason.

Instead of seething, you push him away, then wrap your hands around his armpits and pull him upwards into you until you hear his back let out a painful pop. Faintly you can make him out cursing at you and asking you what's wrong with you, but you're too deep into character to care about his complaints. After you may have broken his back a second time, you feel satisfied enough to shove him to the floor.

"It's a knock-out! Officer down," you declare before you stand up in triumph and start chanting happily, "Loser, loser!" Then you strike a pose and take aim at him as you had planned to treat him to your favorite practice you've learned from the chiropractor ASMR human videos: the part where they dig their elbows in the patient's spine.

Briefly, you wonder if you're experiencing what they call a 'concussion'.

___

You're doing something on your phone again when Grimmjow sits down next to you. Then he scoots closer to you — you assume trying to be inconspicuous — but you pay him no mind, too engaged in whatever you're doing.

"Oi," he says.

You swipe on your phone more aggressively.

"I'm talking to you!" he snaps.

If you don't play by his whims, he'll probably break your phone for real this time. You scowl at him like he's the scum of the earth when you turn towards him. "Grimmjow, WHAT could be more pressing than this level of Candy Crush I'm playing?"

"What's Candy Crush?"

"Let me show you since you're clearly uneducated-"

Grimmjow shakes his head, regretting to have asked. "Nevermind this bullshit, I-"

Despite his clear disinterest in Candy Crush, you still shove your screen in his face, almost blinding him. You're babbling some sort of explanation and he leans away from you.

"Why are you still talking?" he asks, irritated. "I said I don't care."

Again, you look at him as if he's a fungus under your toenail, and then you revert to messing around on your game. Grimmjow continues his attempts to communicate in Grimmjow language, which comprises mainly nonsensical body language cues. Within your peripheral vision, you can see him inching closer to you again, and then turning his back on you, and then giving you the Kubrick stare after a while of you not doing anything in response to his antics.

Having had enough of this, you sigh and prompt him. "Words?"

"Nghhh."

"Very helpful," you say sarcastically as you finish your Candy Crush level.

"Can you do that thing again?" he requests while making vague, limp-wristed gestures in the air.

You tilt your head in curiosity as you try to decipher what he means, considering him with an expression that's a tad too thoughtful.

"No, I demand it," he says suddenly before he yanks your wrist and awkwardly places your hand on his back.

You bark out a laugh at his immaturity, though you oblige him, slipping your hand under his sad excuse for a jacket to reach him better. You can tell he's shivering again and this time, you notice him melt into it and smile. Perhaps mentally disturbed, you find it endearing, though you remind yourself you can't think that crap about a man who threw a table at you over a smartass comment. He has the worst temper issues you've ever had the displeasure of observing, even if amusingly. No, he's a bloodthirsty, backstabbing lunatic. You can't find him cute!

(You think you might only find it funny because you don’t take anything seriously, but this is besides the point.)

"You're like a bossy cat," you point out.

"Don't compare me to these stupid beasts! They don't even have swords or anything, they're pussies."

Beasts? Regardless, you explain, "Well, I read in a book that humans in Egypt used to worship them like gods."

"Well, in that case, I'll reconsider what you said," he announces with a smirk.

You're too easy, you scold in your head, though you keep your commentary to yourself just this once. Sitting with Grimmjow in silence is to your liking, mostly because you find everything he says irritating, of course.

As the minutes pass by, you continue your ministrations and he ends up invading your personal space even more. Since he has been tolerable so far, you stroke his neck lightly, and then card your fingers through his hair.

And then you hear something that makes you falter, eyes widening in shock. "Did you just purr...?"

Grimmjow jumps away from you like you have gonorrhea, which you find ironic-slash-hypocritical since he was the one insisting on your touch about a second ago. This time, before he can smack you on the head with a newspaper he produced from somewhere, you notice his face is red as hell. "I didn't do anything like that, you stupid piece of shit!"

If nothing else, those are brave words coming from the mouth of a grown man who's blushing like a schoolgirl.

"You can't just try to gaslight me anytime I say something you don't like," you yell before you grab a vase and hurl it at him.

"Well, watch me."

"That's not the comeback you think it is."

The two of you press your foreheads together and grimace constipated faces at each other and hiss like deranged animals until you grow bored of it and separate as if nothing had happened.

___

Grimmjow is crouching in the corner like a creep while you're reading a book. Again, being used to his... quirks, it isn't enough to disturb you from your activity, even though he seems to observe you with newfound seriousness. For good measure, maybe to convey said newfound seriousness, he throws in a few chin scratches during his thorough examination of you.

You turn to the next page.

Grimmjow stands up, hands in his pockets. He's kind of hunching, which is his usual stance for when he's trying to either be cool or intimidating, but again, you're unsure of what he's trying to achieve in this moment.

He fixates his gaze on you. Memories run through his head, and he's contemplating what to do with them.

"Hey. What's a massage?"

"Why don't you let me show you if you wanna know so bad?"

"What's Candy Crush?"

"Let me show you since you're clearly uneducated-"

Grimmjow pinches his eyebrows together in his best attempt at feigning an air of ignorance. His tone sounds somewhat chagrined, though you haven't even done anything to piss him off today. "[Y/n]."

You don't tear your attention away from the passage you're reading since the drama in this novel is getting engaging. Still, this is kind of new. Usually Grimmjow says 'oi' and expects you to be at his beck and call, screams 'you' like it's an efficient descriptor, or he calls you a stupid piece of shit or a moron and a stupid piece of shit moron when he's feeling verbose. Maybe this is important, if he's calling you by your actual name.

"What?" you ask, finally shifting your eyes in his direction.

You think he's trying to keep it together, but then Grimmjow seems unable to help himself and graces you with his signature killer grin before he raises you his all-encompassing question. "[Y/n], what's sex?"

Without so much as a twitch of your eye or a scrunch of your nose, you swiftly slap the book closed and fling it at his temple. Your toss is successful in toppling Grimmjow over. "You have like, NO game."

#grimmjow x reader #grimmjow jaegerjaquez x reader #grimmjow imagine #bleach x reader #bleach x you #bleach imagine #one shot

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shamelessfaceless · 22 days

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Navigation | Masterlist

Brave Dreams, Bold Moves

Pairings: Azula x Waterbender!F!Reader, Ozai x Waterbender!F!Reader (platonic)

Summary: She gave you a neckles, it's just something that will remind you of your home, right?

Warnings: Ozai (I mean, he needs his own warning), sugestive things near the end, (let me know if theres more)

Wc: 1313

A/n: !!!All characters are aged up!!!

“Lord Ozai.” You greeted him getting on one knee.

“My dear, you don't need to get on your knees, I trust you more than my own son.” He started slowly going to you. You just stood there. Little voice in the back of your head was screaming to run away. Even after spending so many years under his wing, you were scared of him and things he could do to you just because you could look at him in the wrong way. “Little birds told me you started wearing special necklaces.”

“Yes my lord. Special person gave it to me.” Your hand softly touches your neck and dark material.

“Betrothal necklace, such an interesting thing to be gifted.” His tall figure was now in front of you. “I hope one of my best soldiers won’t leave just to have a peaceful life.” His hand reaches to your neck.

“I won't, my lord. I don’t think the person who gave it to me knows its meaning.

“Well, you took it from them. So in my opinion I think you don’t mind marrying that person.” His fingers lightly pull material. “Tell me. Tell me who this lucky guy is. I want to make the person, who helped me so much, happy.”

He wasn’t lying. You were helping him. As a waterbender you mastered healing. Your mother soled you to fire nation against your father’s will when you were only 6. Ozai took care of you, making sure that you will learn healing bending. He wanted to have a healer that would be loyal to him.You healed a lot of his soldiers, and the most important, his daughter. Of course you also mastered waterbending. That was always something people from other nations didn’t expect, because, how could a woman wearing fire benders colors, bend water? Looking at the man that almost raised you, and thinking about what he will say, made you swallow through a knot in your throat.

“It was your daughter, princess Azula.” His eyes moving from your face to the wall. You were ready to die. He may treat you like his own, but Azula is his biological child, the one that will sit on the throne after his death.

“Hm.. Actually, it is the best decision you both could make. One of the best firebenders and one of the best waterbenders. Such a powerful couple. It will be a pleasure to have you officially as a part of my family.”

“But my lord! We don’t even date, and for sure she didn’t even know the meaning behind this when she gave it to me!”

“It doesn't matter, soldier. You accepted it, and you already have my blessing. End of the meeting.”

You didn’t want to argue with him. With shaky legs you left this room heading to your own. Only a few steps later you met Mai, she looked at you and wanted to ask something, but you just ignored her. She was the only person that knew you were going to meet with Oazi. Actually she was the one to tell you he wanted to see you. When you stepped in your safe space you just sat on the bed and let memories from a few days before flood in your head.

“Wake up sleepyhead” You opened your eyes just to see Azual. Usually she wouldn’t even care when you wake up. She was just assuming you were needing this no matter how long you were rotting in your bed. It’s your birthday, so she wanted to give you a little present before she leaves for a few days.

“No thank you.” You mumbled pushing your head between pillows.

“So I guess I will throw your present in the trash. What a shame, It would really suit you.”

You just mumbled some curse words and decided to stand up. Your messy hair, and the fact you were only wearing her oversized shirt and underwear made her heart beat a little faster, of course her face didn't show it. Seeing how long it takes you to get up, she pulled you to her, and started going to the bathroom, still pulling you by your top. She wanted you to close your eyes, and you did it without second thought. Her soft hands on your skin, slowly putting soft material on your neck. When you opened your eyes, and looked in the mirror you saw it. Betrothal necklace.

“Azula…”

“Safe it. When I saw it in things that were found in an abandoned village, I thought it would suit you.” You could see her smile in the mirror. “I know you don’t wear blue anymore, but this necklace looks really good on you. Now sorry, but I need to go, Mai and Ty Lee need help with something, and just after that I'm leaving for a few days.” Her lips slightly brushing your cheeks, and not even a second later, she wasn't there.

“Fucking princess of the Fire Nation” You mumled with red face. Your finger slowly touches the material.

When Azula returned, Oazi was first to meet her.

“My only daughter. I must congratulate you.” She looked at him confused. Why was he congratulating her? In a few weeks she didn’t really do anything.

“I'm sorry, but I don’t really know what you mean Father.”

“You and your sweet little friend. Or maybe I should say your fiancée.” Half smile appeared on his face, knowing well, she didn't know what he was talking about. “You know, in the north water tribe, the necklace you gave Y/N is something you give to the person you want to marry. “And it hit her. She didn't know what to say. How could she be so stupid and not search for the meaning of this stupid necklace!

“But Father! It was just a present! It don't mean anything! I'm sure Y/N don’t take it this way either!”

“You have my blessing. We will discuss everything later.”

It's not like she doesn't want to marry you. Oh she really would love that, but she’s not ready. Only a month before she realized what she felt for you! She had planned a perfect place to confess to you and ask you to date, and now everything is super fucked up. The only thing she could think about is you.

She was sure that her father talked to you by now. Oh how much she was afraid that you would hate her, or you already runned away. But a little voice in the back of her head was telling her if you would mind being hers, you wouldn’t wear the necklace, because for sure you knew the meaning behind this. So she started going to your room. When doors close behind her, you look at her with confusion and a little bit afraid.

“Azula!” You started, and got closer to her, but she only huffed and pushed you on the wall.

“Shut up.” Her lips attacked yours, and you melted feeling how sweet she felt. “Please tell me you don’t mind. I can’t convince my father that it was just a mistake. So please, just tell me you want me like I want you, and you don’t mind getting married to me. “You could promise you saw tears in her eyes. Your first reaction was to kiss her, and you did. Her hand gripping your hips when you pull her hair.

“I want you. I wanted you for so long.” You mumbled in her neck. “Well, engagement before a first date is a little bit crazy but it suits your character. I just hope you don't expect to have children next month. “You joked, and next thing you knew was that your back hit the bed.

“If I could get you pregnant, you would be for sure pregnant by next month.” She whispered in your ear.

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transfemlogan · 1 year

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Think I could ask what you think of Logan’s character and where you think his character arc will go (or at least, where you’d like to see it go in the series)? Honestly I’m just interested in hearing you talk about him

I found this rlly far down my drafts. Somehow. Idk how it got there. But at least I don't have to rewrite the entire beginning 🧡

NOTE: I have Aphasia. It's a language disorder that affects my ability to understand and use language and it affects me both within writing and speaking. This is going to be a little incomprehensible and all over the place, but be nicies to me and feel free to ask for clarification.

This is more of a ramble, than a nice and neat analysis.

Everyone is allowed to add on :3c

ALSO SORRY TO ANYONE TAGGED</3 You're most likely tagged because I was quoting/linking a post by you.

OK. LET'S TALK ABT LOGAN (FT MY BAD SCREENSHOTS):

[ID: a screenshot of Logan Sanders from the Sanders Sides episode "My True Identity!" He is smiling at the camera and making finger guns. /end ID]

This might be incomprehensible I love logan sanders. So much. Its so hard to put into words i jsut love him OK. He is perfect in every day & also a little nerd. & Beautiful. & handsome. & my babygirl.

I feel like a lot of fans treat him as if he is... like any other glasses wearing character in fiction. Byakuya Togami is the first to pop into my mind, same with Kusuo Saiki from The Disasterous Life of Saiki K, Freddy Riley from Identity V, Charles Offdensen from Metalocalypse, Kyoya Ootori from Ouran Highschool Hostclub, ETC. THERE'S A LOT OF GLASSES GUYS. (Note: these characters do not completely fit each other, but you get the point.)

The trope of "smart, unemotionless, rude/blunt character wears glasses" is something fans will shove Logan into, but the thing is Logan's character takes this trope and completely snaps it in half and throws it in the trash.

Logan is smart. He is blunt and can be the biggest asshole at times. He is """unemotional""" (stated by him).

[ID: a screenshot of Logan Sanders from the Sanders Sides episode "Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts". The captions reas, "Everything is okay." /end ID]

But he's also compassionate. He is hopeful. He cares so much for the people around him and he holds so much love in his heart.

This post (link) by @intrulogical probably phrases it way better than I ever could + this post (link) by @nesushii

I think that's what makes Logan such a compelling character. He's not someone who needs to "learn how to feel" (which is an idea in fiction I dislike) (it can become a little ableist), he is someone who does feel and know he feels and feels so much all the time, but he can't express it well due to both the environment around him and how he shows his emotions.

A lot of Logan's asshole actions, I think, are less him actively trying to be rude and more him just struggling really bad.

In Moving On, he is "rude" but it's because he realises his actions were Wrong and he's trying to Fix It. He recognises Virgil's panic attack, how this room is affecting Thomas, and realises that he should have listened to Patton. But because of the affects of Patton's room and Logan's tone and phrasing, he comes off as Mean. He becomes defensive as everyone blows him off and it affects how he's trying to help everyone.

In LNTAO, Logan is confused about the entire situation. He doesn't understand why singing or puppets would help Thomas and, as Logic, it is terrifying to not Know when it's his entire job to know. His confusion turns into defensiveness, and because he already struggles to express his emotions in a way that the other sides like/understand, his confusion (& defensiveness) comes off as anger and purposeful ignorance. Which is why the sides and Thomas treat him the way they do— they're assuming he doesn't want to know. Which is entirely untrue!

I know I've talked so much already about how Logan is unintentionally autistic coded (I'm even writing an entire essay about it), but like... HE IS SO AUTISTIC CODED!!

This character that struggles with expressing himself. Who lives in an environment where he feels like he has to exist a certain way, or else he won't be accepted. Who doesn't understand tone or sarcasm or the "big picture". Who struggles with other people viewing him as some sort of unemotionless ""monster"", bexause they don't understand him. Who wants to be heard and understood.

In DWIT, he feels like he's finally doing something right. That he's on the right path. And then it immediately get snatched away in POF and then again in WTIT. And that's such an inherently autistic experience. You feel like you're masking right, you're fitting in, people are accepting and loving you— only to act "too autistic" and the false comfort you wanted is snatched away (a little more complex and nuanced than that, but you know).

He is... So Autistic and it HURTS. (He could also be viewed as neurodivergent in general— I can relate to him outside of autism, with my schizophrenia and speech impediment.)

I also relate to him heavily as a child abuse victim. I've brought it up a few times, but I haven't been able to express entirely what I mean by calling him "child abuse coded" (WHICH IS A PHRASE I KEEP GIGGLING AT).

Logan's entire situation with anger feels so... similar to my own anger issues and trauma. The way he will get so angry and explode only to calm down and realise his actions.

[ID: two screenshots of Logan Sanders from the Sanders Sides episode "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts". In image one, he is pointing at someone out of frame and looking down at the floor with a confused expression. In image two, he has a hand on his tie and looks upset. /end ID]

Hurting those around you because you're hurting is something I feel like most, if not all, abuse victims struggle with. And especially with child abuse victims, I personally always feel on edge. Like I have to defend my actions 24/7 and I need to express myself perfectly or else no one will understand and I will "get in trouble" and "punished".

It reminds me so much of Logan. After he gets angry and explodes (partially due to the Orange Side, based on how the series is being shown), he immediately is confused and shameful and scared.

Logan is scared and ashamed of his own actions and is trying so hard to fix himself and not be that, not be an angry aggressive person. But it's not as simple and apologising and moving on and it's definitely much harder when those around you will not let you / don't understand fully.

ANYWAY Logan's character means so much to me as an autistic, abused guy. //slaps Logan// this guy can hold SO much trauma!

This post (link) by @orbmanson7 I think puts some of my thoughts into better words about Logan's anger and boundaries and everything (which also helps us segway into talking about his arc)

The thing with Logan's arc is that it's a little more complex than just "Logan wants to be listened to". All of the sides want to be listened to, that's the entire point of them. They all want to help Thomas.

It's not only that Logan wants to be listened to and isn't, it's also that Logan is actively listening to critiques and trying to fix and change. He is hearing and seeing that something he is doing is not helpful and is upsetting people. He wants to fix it and change and improve. But no matter what he does, nothing seems to "fix the issue"— Thomas still will not listen to him.

Logan has to unlearn this idea that he needs to constantly be improving himself, that he has to act a certain way, in order for someone to listen and understand him (AGAIN. WHY I RELATE TO HIM AS A ABUSE VICTIM). AND, the sides need to be actively changing how they are treating him. Because him unlearning this won't immediately fix the issue if the sides aren't working too.

The situation can't be fixed with a simple promise of "we will listen to you, Logan", because they've been doing that the entire series.

[ID: a screenshot of Logan Sanders from the Sanders Sides episode "Working Through Intrusive Thoughts". He is holding a notebook near his chest and looks dejected. The captions read, "Another day, Logan, I promise." /end ID]

ALSO, this doesn't fall completely on the other sides. Logan still needs to work on letting himself express things and learning how to cope with his strong, intense emotions like his anger. He's lashing out at the other sides and that's not okay. He can't hurt the people he cares about because he's angry and upset (see the ending of POF before Janus reveals his name).

Which... is one of the reasons I really do not want his anger to be "caused by" the orange side. I want this to be something he is experiencing and going through, because if it's "oooh a dark side is controlling him!!" then it won't be a "Logan issue", it'll be a "dark side issue". Which is not what he OR the viewers need.

Logan needs to overcome and cope with his issues without someone inserting themselves into his arc. The more people are thrown into the mix, the more the attention is drawn away from Logan, and I think his arc is something that desperately needs to be told and focused on.

And NO . I am not a fan of "Logan is the Orange Side" theories. There's a million reasons why that's not true if you actually watch and pay attention to the series (it's a very fun AU, but falls apart in context of the actual series). (Plus I don't want him to stop being indigo.......)

I also don't want Logan's arc to end up with him "turning into a dark side" for a MULTITUDE of reasons:

The "dark sides" aren't like... an actual, genuine thing...? It's not something you can ""become"", it's something you are forced into. It is a term created by Roman to describe sides that Thomas views as inherently bad or evil. The only way for Logan to ""become"" a "dark side" is if someone, in an episode, verbally, called Logan a "dark side".

Obviously, Logan can be treated like a "dark" side. In fact, how he is being treated in the series is very similar to how Virgil was treated in seasonn 1 or how Janus is being treated, ETC. BUT I don't want him to be called a "dark side", because I feel like that brings up an entirely new conflict? Now it's not focused on them ignoring Logan, it's focused on "Logic is evil?" "Thomas views Logic as bad?".

I'm struggling really hard to explain, but I feel like it just layers the conflict and I don't want that. I don't want Logan's arc to include the dark sides in any way. I want it to be focused on him.

(HOWEVER, I don't mind the connection between Logan and the dark sides through their similarities and finding comfort each other because of it. In fact, I love it. But I am not sure how to elaborate on that and how I want their relationships to be, so I skipped over it. If someone asks later, I can try to put it in words. In short, less of the "dark sides" affecting Logan, more Logan affecting the "dark sides"? I don't know if that makes sense.)

Also, I don't trust real-life Thomas to write it well! While he is very good at writing conflict, he sucks at resolving conflict (see: Virgil's reveal as a dark side at the end of DWIT and how it's handled in ATHD). Logan becoming a "dark side" already adds more to his already conflict-filled arc, I don't want to then see it be swept under the rug or handled really badly. Logan deserves a good arc. Don't bite off more than you can chew, or whatever, leave his arc alone. Stop it. Please.

I think that's all I wanted to say?

In short: Logan is full of hope and love and compassion and is so, so autistic coded and has so much trauma. I think his arc is more complex than "not being listened to" and he has to unlearn a lot. I don't want his arc to involve the orange side/him being the orange side, or any of the dark sides, because that brings the attention away from him.

#ask #sanders sides #logan sanders #blog tags ->#essays!#IT. COUNTS. OK. EVEN THOUGH ITS RAMBLY.#logan #revys essays!#sure whatever

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dessarious · 10 months

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What Makes a Family? Pt26

Beginning Previous

When they surfaced from her room at lunch, everyone was there. Mari honestly didn't know how they all fit at this point. Bruce and the boys were glaring at Luka for some reason, but Damian turned his on her once they were noticed.

"Melody, can we talk?" Luka wouldn't meet her eyes. Yeah, her Maman must have had an interesting talk with him. Before she could answer, Damian spoke up.

"What is Cain wearing?" She had no idea why he sounded insulted. They'd put together an outfit for her since all her clothes were at the hotel, and Mari looked it over again to try and figure out his issue with it.

"It's a dress and leggings." He looked like he was about to explode, but Cass signed something at him and he just sneered at them instead. The dress itself looked black at the top and faded to light blue at the bottom. It was offset to be mid-thigh on the right, flowing down to just below the knee on the left, and paired with midnight blue leggings. It's not like it was super girly or anything. "No concept of fashion, I take it. We'll have to fix that." Damian's glare intensified, but the other boys were snickering in the background. Even Tim, so he must have gotten some sleep finally.

"You look very nice, Cass." Bruce's tone was a bit pointed, but she could tell he meant it.

"Of course she does. Mari doesn't make trash." Mari had to cough to cover a laugh at Chloe's haughty tone. At least until Dick, Jason, and Tim started yelling about not being the first to get something from her. At least that's what she thought they were yelling about. Mari rolled her eyes before gesturing Luka up to her room. Once she closed the door, he didn't seem to know what to say.

"Maman really scared you didn't she?" He winced.

"She called the Captain and told her about it. She explained what I was doing in... colorful terms. I didn't realize... I'm sorry." Oh. She couldn't even imagine that conversation.

"Um... how did she take us all being in a relationship?" They hadn't told the Captain about it simply because Luka was worried she'd slip and tell Juleka. Honestly, of all their parents, she was the one Mari was least concerned about.

"At the moment, she thinks both of you are too good for me. And I'd have to agree." She sighed and put a hand on his chest.

"You have a good heart, and you feel too much from other people. I get that. But sometimes you need to let people hurt. You need to let them work through things in their own time. Just because you think you see the answer, doesn't mean it's the right time, or even always the right answer. I need you to let me do things at my pace. Please."

"I'll do my best, but you're probably going to have to point out when I'm crossing a line. I'm not always sure when it's helping or interfering." She had to roll her eyes at that.

"You talk to the person you're trying to help instead of running off and fixing it the way you think it should be fixed. If you're going around the person, then you can assume it's interference." She could actually see the concept click in his mind.

"Oh." He frowned and seemed to retreat into his thoughts. After a few minutes, she moved a hand up to his cheek to get him to focus back on her.

"I know you just want to help. It's part of the reason I love you. You just need to be more careful with how you go about it." She leaned in to kiss his other cheek when a cough sounded from the trapdoor. They turned to see Bruce frowning at them.

"I really don't think you two should be up here alone." Fantastic. She was really hoping to not have this conversation, but apparently her luck was off.

"That's really none of your business. Maman and Papa are fine with it, and that's all that matters, since this is their house. However, if it bothers you that much, feel free to send Kagami up as well." The glare he sent her had probably backed down some of his villains, but she just raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn't about to let him think it was okay to treat her like a child or boss her around. "Not to mention, if we were going to be doing anything 'inappropriate', the door would have been locked."

Bruce sputtered for a moment and turned a shade of purple she hadn't seen before. Served him right. Eventually, he went back down the stairs, but left the door open. Because that was obviously going to keep anything from happening. Luka laughed quietly.

"Do you really think that was a good idea?" She just shrugged at him.

"I'm not about to let someone that barely knows me try to change how I live my life." Luka wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him. Then Kagami poked her head up, looking confused.

"Bruce said you wanted to see me?" Mari let out a groan, but Luka just chuckled.

"Come in and lock the door, please." Kagami gave her an odd look, but did as asked. If Bruce wanted to play this game, he was going to have to deal with the consequences.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to antagonize him? You don't want him getting Akumatized." She blinked at Luka in confusion for a moment before she realized they had no idea what happened last night.

"Hawkmoth won't be an issue for a couple of days, and he needs to figure out that he's not the parent."

"Why won't he be a problem?" Kagami's voice was mostly anger, but she could tell it was hiding worry.

"Plagg got rid of a few Akumas and said the backlash should knock him out. Maybe he'll let up on the constant stream of stupidity, since he likely has no idea what happened." It would be nice to have breaks in between battles again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" While expected, Luka's question just made her sigh. No, she really didn't.

"I was upset." A massive understatement, but they knew better than to push it. Luka hugged her tighter and Kagami moved closer to start rubbing her lower back. It was nice, until there was a pounding on the door, followed by Sabine's exasperated voice.

"You already went up there once without knocking. What did you expect her to do?" Mari felt her phone vibrate and pulled it out to find a text from Cass:

I think B is going to have a stroke ;)

At least someone saw how funny this was. Granted, she should probably go back down there before Bruce said or did something to really piss off her parents. She could see him trying to lecture them on parenting, and that was a sure way to get kicked out of the house. That or they'd somehow start up the argument about killing again.

"We could just leave from the roof and go to our houseboat. Let nature take its course." Kagami sounded serious, and Mari would admit it was tempting. "You can text Cass and tell her to meet us by the school." So very tempting.

"Better not. I would rather my Maman not kill anyone today. But if things don't get better, we can bail after lunch and say I want to show Cass the school before tomorrow."

"She's going to school with you? That should be interesting." Luka sounded less than enthused.

"The real question is which one is going to go after Lila for insulting the other one?" Kagami was joking, but the thought of Lila going after Cass made her blood boil. She tried anything and her little house of cards was going to get set on fire.

"Hopefully, if she sees that look on Mari's face, she'll be too scared to do anything." She just gave Luka an annoyed glare.

"Given why Alya was Akumatized, I have a feeling she'll have bigger issues than trying anything with us. If she decides to try anyway, it's her funeral." Luka winced.

"You do realize that means you're going to have to deal with Alya right? Are you prepared for that?"

"I'm not sure it's possible to be prepared for something like that. I'll have Cass there, so it will make certain things easier. As for the rest... I'll just have to deal with it as it comes." Nothing about this was going to be easy. More pounding came from the trapdoor. "I'm so tempted to just stay up here longer every time he does that."

"You said you didn't want Sabine killing anyone today, remember?" Luka sounded far too amused.

"I suppose." She trudged over to the door before unlocking it and flinging it open. Bruce was there, ready to knock again. "You are a guest in this house and you're being extremely rude." Her tone was colder than she'd intended and he looked a bit stunned by it. She closed the door again, taking a deep breath. The stress must be getting to her more than she thought. Kagami came over to wrap her in a hug. You wouldn't know it by her attitude most of the time, but Kagami gave the best hugs.

"Everything will be alright, Daarin." The endearment calmed her down more than anything. Given how strict her mother was, Kagami didn't use them, especially not ones that weren't traditional, except with the two of them. She still wasn't comfortable using them when anyone else was around to hear. They'd told her it wasn't necessary, but she seemed determined for some reason. "You know I'm ready to impale anyone who upsets you." She huffed out a laugh.

"Love you too." Kagami tensed for a moment before relaxing. She still wasn't used to hearing that, and hadn't said it to Mari or Luka yet, but they knew. Kagami preferred actions to words, and she showed them constantly how she felt. "Alright, I suppose I'm ready to face the music." Luka rolled his eyes. He really didn't like that saying.

Beginning Previous

Tag List

@moonystars14 @ladybug-182 @elmokingkong @smolplantmum @jessigurl-design @trippingovermyfeet @its-salty-bug @whydoexamsexist @scorchdragon88 @alenee13 @lil-1254s-blog @sturchling @random-fandoms7 @fandom-writer642 @chylou34 @thewitchwhowaited @junarvion @laurcad123 @hakoirii @aestheticnpoetic @aegyobutpsycho2 @sassakitty @swiftie-miraculer13 @miraculous-simmer7 @peachedpocky @misslenamooney @shamefullove @user00000003 @18-fandoms-unite-08 @galla02006 @thestressmademedoit @toodaloo-kangaroo @trinity-1002107 @alessialeone6997 @i-shizen @necromancerflight @astoriaandromeda @devils-wrath @adrestar @jayjayspixiepop @lilfuturescars @maribatforever @unoriginalmess @couffeeine @houstonplaguedoctor @toxicaurayt1 @krispydefendorpolice @itriedwritingandhereiam

#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #cassandra cain #twins #bruce wayne #luka couffaine #kagami tsuguri #bruce needs to take one giant step backwards #bio dad bruce wayne

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ohmycale · 1 year

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There is a tiktok that they hate Deruth and they literally hate him? Then somebody on Twitter countered that Zed was a worse father to Alver and he didnt get hate as much as Deruth. What's your take on it? Is there a double standard for you?

Okay, let's break it down, shall we?

First off, I don’t know about this particular TikTok video and I don’t use the platform so I am taking the things you said at face value.

Second, everyone who has heard of TCF/TBOAH and their characters will have an opinion about them. They are entitled to their opinions about anyone and everything and enjoy the same space and perks as people like me who usually have counter opinions about their opinions. It’s the internet at its finest.

Third, Hate is a strong word for me and I don’t use it lightly. I try to avoid it. My feelings about Deruth are the same feelings I had for my father with acknowledged bias and projection. Yes, I felt disappointed and angry at him for a long time but I learned to manage my feelings and learned to not be bothered by people who didn’t treat me well. And as I project my feelings into Deruth and other characters, it’s the same thing I do for og!cale. Other fans do the same thing.

Fourth on Zed and benign compared to Deruth. I don’t comment much on Zed because I believe that he is a trash father from day one and embodies the existence of sperm donors at their finest. What is there to be said, really when everyone agrees on one opinion about him? Deruth, on the other hand, claims to be living his family motto and then sought out his personal happiness over his son. He is constantly characterized as a ‘good’ but flawed father. That opinion is dependent on whom you are asking, of course. My further opinion about this man is evident in my other posts. Overall, there is no incentive to talk about Zed when you already know from the get-go what kind of ‘father’ he is. Deruth is pretty much a controversial character in this context given his background and ‘progress’ in canon.

In terms of double standards, I see them equally as men who shouldn't be fathers. That's putting it very lightly. I'm sure others I know personally would have more…colorful words to describe them. And I’m somewhat irritated that mental neglect/trauma is seen as ‘lower’ than physical neglect/death. It's the invisible scars that grow over time that goes unnoticed and for some people, eventually, wish that they haven't lived or incapacitate them to live better lives. Worst-case scenario, you get judged for not being able to ‘move on’ and ‘be normal’ or shit things people say. Reminds of parents who do do-overs with new families and expect old kids and be a ‘family’ just because. That's basically Deruth for you.

Fifth, Alver still has his family with Tasha. Someone who knows understands and care for him just like his mother had done. I can’t say the same for Og!cale. Og!cale’s family is….just not there for him and didnt understand him when he needed it most. His father found a new family and tried to blend him in without actually considering his feelings. Or just thinking that og!cale having new family members = happiness. It doesn't matter if he accepted them eventually. The assumption that og!cale would just go with the flow is so insidious to assume. His supposed family might care for him, but I don't really see the them understanding what he has gone through and still going through. Ron and Vicross, as we all know, left for their dreams of revenge. Hans, God bless his soul, is a servant to him and under Deruth’s command and authority. So, who is really there for him?

Sixth, I like that Deruth’s actions are sparkling a debate. It means that people don’t see him as a one dimensioned character even though my feelings would want otherwise. People will have their judgment of him and agree to disagree is still a thing (I guess). The only thing that I care about is og!cale is happy wherever he is right now…with or without Deruth.

Thanks for the Ask. Sorry for the wall of text.

#tcf #lcf #trash of the count's family #lout of the count’s family #henituse family #tcf cale #og!cale #og!cale henituse #original cale henituse #ask me everything #tcf deruth #deruth henituse #zed crossman

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butterflydm · 2 years

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wot reread: a crown of swords (chap 26 - end)

spoilers for a crown of swords

Current book ranking (strongest to weakest): The Fires of Heaven; Lord of Chaos; The Shadow Rising; The Dragon Reborn; A Crown of Swords; The Great Hunt; Eye of the World. I had a hard time figuring out where ACoS fits tbh. The things I dislike about it, I dislike VERY MUCH, but there are some genuinely amazing moments.

1. Up until this point in the series, the snippets we were getting of Morgase were actually working for me, but in this chapter, it’s just pointless trauma (and yet another example of consent issues in this specific book - she sleeps with Valda because he demands it and she feared the Questioners and then gets treated like trash afterwards when he lets the Questioners interrogate her anyway). Of this nineteen page chapter, we needed maybe two pages of it instead of the narrative luxuriating in Morgase’s misery (and, as a bonus, we get Breane shaming her for feeling traumatized and telling her that she’s a coward for not sucking it up and moving on already).

2. Anyway, there are two important things in this chapter: the Seanchan have invaded Altara and Morgase escapes at the end. I don’t really consider Morgase’s abdication all that important tbh considering that almost everyone assumes she’s dead already. Honestly, I feel like we didn’t really need this Seanchan scene at all -- the invasion of Ebou Dar at the end of the book is enough and would have come as more of a punch without this scene happening here. I guess it’s suppose to serve as our refresher on Seanchan culture, which remains terrible (also Suroth, who readers know is a Darkfriend, is still in charge atm). But in case we’ve forgotten: Slaves wear transparent robes that leave their bodies essentially exposed at all times; women who can channel are always property, and the Seanchan believe they have a right to own everything they want the second they want it.

3. Time for Perrin to split off into his own storyline. He and Rand staged a fight where they fought over the treatment of the Aes Sedai prisoners under the Wise Ones’ care. Perrin felt at one point during the fight that Rand might kill him for real. He and Faile and over a dozen other people are all heading off. Faile has taken a bunch of people into “her service” as she likes to do. They meet up with the Two Rivers men and a bunch of Wise Ones and a couple of Aes Sedai and Berelain’s people and a couple of asha’man. It’s a whole lot of people going off on this secret mission. The asha’man open up a Gateway for them to pop over to the west side of the continent. Sulin is one of the Aiel that’s going off with Perrin, which makes me sad about losing that connection with her and Rand. But I guess only Min is allowed to connect to Rand these days so we have to get Sulin out of there because she considers Rand a first-brother.

4. Loial is also going off on his own, with Karldin, one of the asha’man, to pop around to the steddings and see about getting all the Waygates guarded. Aw, Loial is worried about where Mat is. Yeah, you should be; he’s in a terrible pickle. He also worried that Rand will send Min away next. We should only be so lucky, but we’re stuck with her and their relationship, I’m afraid.

5. We learn that the married asha’man have figured out their own version of the Warder bond to use with their wives (and we only get acknowledgment that straight asha’man exist at this point). Honestly, this ‘wedding bond’ of theirs is sweet. I feel like Jordan will make me regret feeling that way, but it seems sweet for now, based on what we know, lol.

6. Perrin curses Rand for sticking him with Berelain but I don’t remember him telling Rand about Berelain trying to chase him. There is a certain amount of... irony?... in the fact that the whole reason that Rand is sending Berelain away is because he himself is also attracted to her (he tried to send her back to Mayene first). In general, the whole vibe around the Berelain situation just gets more sexist the further along into the books we get and it didn’t start out great. The official reason that Berelain is along is so that she can talk to Queen Alliandre of Ghealdan, ruler to ruler, to let her know that their army isn’t there to invade. And Perrin’s official job is to tell Masema to stop threatening and frightening people into following Rand and then take him and any of his people who want to go back along to Rand. I’m sure he will take care of that with the same swiftness that he used in LoC when he rescued Rand from the Aes Sedai!

7. Chapter twenty-eight focuses mostly on the horrific Mat-Tylin situation. She harasses him and then makes sure to jump away and look innocent before anyone else can spot her behavior. Mat is... desperate for other company to try to put her off, desperate not to be around her. He’s trapped and it only gets worse. And this is where we see how the power disparity hurts Mat -- as queen, Tylin can ‘starve him out’ and all of her people will work together to try to break him for her pleasure.

8. LoC!Olver felt like an actual kid that I didn’t mind reading about. ACoS!Olver is insufferable and I disown him.

9. lol, I like the bit where Elayne asks Mat to go somewhere be ‘be ta’veren’ for her. That part is funny/cute. Ah, they’re watching the place where the Circle was located (though Elayne and Nynaeve didn’t tell Mat that information). Nothing happens.

10. I do dislike that Mat apparently now... doesn’t like women. He’s attracted to women but has negative thoughts about them as human beings. This is a relatively new development; he did used to genuinely seem to LIKE women as well as be attracted to them, but now it’s a shock to him that he likes Birgitte as a person because she’s a woman and women are for sex but not for liking as people. This is very much a change from how Mat’s relationships with women and sex were portrayed in the past and I wonder if it wasn’t changed partly so that Jordan could justify Tylin’s behavior towards Mat. Because in order for her to be “turning the tables on him”, he needs to have the same attitude towards women that she does towards men (that they are for pleasure but aren’t actually people).

11. Chapter twenty-nine, Tylin rapes Mat for the first but far from the last time.

12. After Mat goes out for the day, he has to take Beslan with him, of course. Beslan is aware that his mother has made Mat her ‘pretty’ and has no issue with it. I’m not sure whether or not it matters to Beslan if it’s consensual? He seems to have the attitude that the choice is entirely Tylin’s and not Mat’s at all.

13. We get our fourth Darkfriend attack, this one on Mat & Co. Old Cully gets namedropped (not that Mat knows that the man is a high-ranking Darkfriend but we do).

14. We get a tiny hint of how the Kin don’t fully understand the White Tower culture that they worship and attempt to copy -- they believe that rank is organized by age and not by ability in the One Power, because that’s information that a woman doesn’t usually learn until after she gets the shawl, and none of the Kin have ever gained the shawl (that’s the whole point of them). Reanne suggests that every member of the Kin who doesn’t wear an Ebou Dari wise woman belt move to ‘the farm’ for a while.

15. Elayne is getting lectured for ‘revealing a secret’ that is only supposed to be known by women who have gained the shawl. As they are about to pass a punishment on her for revealing the Kin, there’s a message from the Whitecloak ambassador to let Elayne know the ~happy~ news that her mother is alive and a ~guest~ of Niall in Amador, which is very old and outdated news for the readers but brand new information for Elayne. She does not believe it in any case and her anger towards what she views as Carridan’s lies gives her fuel to stand up against the Aes Sedai trying to lecture her. Elayne is PISSED OFF about all the freaking secrets that the Aes Sedai keep from people and from each other (this is part of why she was so honest with Tylin at the end of LoC).

16. Elayne takes control of the embassy, essentially, and learns about the Kin and why the Aes Sedai have kept them secret -- they helped the White Tower maintain its aura of infallibility. And ELAYNE realizes that ‘what the White Tower knows’ about the Kin barely scratches the surface.

17. Moghedien spots Nynaeve in the streets of Ebou Dar. Recognizes her instantly. And then risks everything to chase after her and try to kill her. She tries to balefire Nynaeve but is startled by a pigeon at the last moment so balefires a slice through Nynaeve’s boat instead (ta’veren, I tell you, Nynaeve is ta’veren).

18. Very soon after Elayne gets an epic chapter, Nynaeve gets one. The Slog (tm) is very rough on our three ta’veren but Elayne, Nynaeve, and Egwene all get to shine. I hope that the show is able to improve Rand, Mat, & Perrin’s storylines while keeping the awesome that is happening especially for Elayne and Nynaeve in these books.

19. Ugh, tiny moment of ugliness that Nynaeve doesn’t realize is happening right before her eyes -- Tylin lent her an extremely expensive necklace as a ‘thank you’ for Nynaeve getting Mat to move into the palace and be readily available for Tylin to harass and assault.

20. But then we get to the meat of the chapter, when Nynaeve almost drowns (because of Moghedien’s weave) but instead is finally able to break through her block and channel freely. Congrats Nynaeve! Nynaeve realizes that she feels too hopeless and scared to be angry enough to channel and, at the final moment before it’s too late, she surrenders to saidar and is able to burst open the boat compartment that she was trapped in.

21. However, she is still about to drown due to being exhausted, so it is Convenient that Lan has just arrived in Ebou Dar (ta’veren, I tell you) and helps her get to a boat. When she realizes that Lan is there and she looks like a drowned rat, she embraces saidar again, easily this time, and channels herself dry. This scene is very genuinely romantic. Jordan can have one (1) right in this book when it comes to romance. Also this all sounds so very cinematic. I am kinda Team ‘Do we need Ebou Dar?’ but I do love this scene.

22. Oh, but then Jordan’s right immediately gets taken away as we get to Jordan’s obligatory Violence In Romantic Relationships Means Love as Nynaeve slaps Lan for being bonded to Myrelle and eventually punches him in the stomach (at least the fourth romance that involves the woman punching the man in the stomach) and doesn’t try, you know, asking him about it first. Use your freaking words, Nynaeve. I hate this for a couple of reasons: I hate that there’s so much violence in the romances in general and I also hate the whole ‘when women do a violence against a man it’s just a cutesy little woman thing that we don’t take seriously’, which is damaging in multiple different ways, both for women and men.

23. And this whole thing here is another reason I have a hard time believing that Jordan really did mean the Mat-Tylin situation as genuine commentary rather than ‘rompy sex comedy’, because he already normalizes violence in romantic/sexual relationships (as seen here and too many other places to mention). He’s also previously treated a woman ignoring a man saying ‘no’ as actually the woman doing what the man secretly WANTS her to do (in Rand x Min during LoC, when Rand explicitly tells her to stop kissing him goodbye like that). And in another Rand-Mat comparison, the man is given no privacy against the woman intruding on him whenever she wants - the Maidens letting Min without ever checking with Rand first is essentially the equivalent of Tylin having the key to Mat’s room. Mat-Tylin is a more extreme version of what Jordan is already doing in several other romances.

24. Once Lan is able to actually explain the situation to her, she realizes that he’s someone in the grips of what is essentially a sickness, the Warder grief from Moiraine’s bond to him snapping, and she extends him compassion and love. And she also makes him laugh when she asks him if there’s a way to make sure Myrelle would KNOW it’s her when she sleeps with Lan (because she’s sorta just proposed to him and says they should get married today). He tells her that her ship went down due to balefire and she realizes that Moghedien must be here hunting her. Nynaeve also realizes here that she’s not angry but still holding saidar and nearly falls over herself with delight. This scene would be so amazing if we just snipped Jordan’s endemic domestic violence out of it.

25. Elayne takes the Aes Sedai to go talk to the Kin, so she racks up another win here by marrying these two sides together. She gets to be very in control and quite queenly. She makes the offer to the Kin about the Amrylin wanting every woman who can channel to be connected to the Tower and the women are emotionally overwhelmed by this, because every woman here is someone who was REJECTED by the Tower and sent away for one reason or another (... I wonder if we’ll find out in Prime!verse that the old Wisdom of Emond’s Field knew of the Kin?). We learn there are nearly two thousand members of the Kin, which is nearly twice what the White Tower had before the schism. We also learn they live a lot longer than Aes Sedai do.

26. Mat comes into the middle of all this to let them know that he’s found the warehouse with the BotW; Elayne tries to claim that she already knew but when she feels Birgitte’s disapproval in her head, she relents and sincerely thanks Mat for being the key to them finding what they needed. “His gaping astonishment was almost worth the agony.”

27. “Women with knives make me uneasy these days”. Ugh, I hate the Tylin storyline for Mat so much. And he’s so desperate to leave Ebou Dar immediately but that idea gets smacked down by Elayne -- they are staying until the Bowl is used.

28. We get a look into Elaida’s very unpleasant dreams -- her getting to punish the rebels while "young al’Thor” quietly kneels at her side as she holds the shield on him that prevents him from channeling. She dreams that Egwene would throw herself on Elaida’s mercy and kiss her hem. She’s woken up by Alviarin to the bad news that she will NOT be getting a pet Dragon any time soon. Corvarla, the highest ranking of the sisters who escaped, has returned to talk to Elaida and tell her what happened. Twelve sisters escaped to Tar Valon (out of the 39 sent). Gawyn and his Younglings have also returned to Tar Valon, which is a deep disappointment to Elaida.

29. Elaida also learns about the asha’man at this point, several hundred of them, which makes her hands shake with fear. It means that the Black Tower is a much more formidable opponent that Elaida realized, so Toveine and the Aes Sedai sent with her (50 in total) will not have an easy time. Will, in fact, probably get curb-stomped. And it’s too late to order Toveine to retreat, due to her orders to go in secrecy. Alviarin uses all this to get a hold over Elaida and take her ‘advice’ by reminding her who will truly be punished by the Hall if all these failures become known. The ‘advice’ that she gives Elaida is something that is certain to cause discontent and agitation between the Ajahs (big goal of the Black Ajah, I assume). She also tells Elaida that it’s time for the White Tower to stand formally against Rand al’Thor.

30. Elaida goes to a White Ajah Sitter named Seaine that morning (after she has done as Alviarin ‘advised’ her). I will note that Elaida is ALSO having ‘infamous cold furies’ basically exactly like Rand does. Her brush with Aridhol seems to be affecting her fairly similarly to how the taint is affecting Rand (when we can untangle what is taint and what is trauma, which can be difficult with Rand sometimes).

31. I love the little touches of personality in Seaine’s rooms! Her little portraits of her now-deceased family and her little cat collectables. Verin is still MVP but it took me less than a page to fall back into love with Seaine.

32. “I want you - I command you - to undertake an inquiry. And you must indeed hold it in your heart. The wrong ear hearing of it might mean death and disaster for the White Tower.” More specifically she says, “I charge you to follow the stench of treason, no matter where it leads or how high, even to the Keeper herself.”

You guys, I think Elaida might be my problematic fave now. She just managed to create something amazing completely accidentally out of her paranoia and fears. From what I remember of the Black Ajah Hunter storyline, it is a genuine highlight. Because Elaida’s trying to set up, essentially, for Seaine to ferret out traitors to HERSELF but Seaine interprets it as treason to THE AES SEDAI. Which means Black Ajah! And Seaine is actually a character who is willing to CROSS AJAH LINES, here in the White Tower, where every sister looks suspiciously at all the others. Anyway, I’m sure Elaida will do something to piss me off and take her off the list, but she’s temporarily on it, lol.

33. Seaine was the Sister who proposed Siuan Sanche as Amrylin years ago!

34. Despite promising to keep this a secret, once Seaine realizes/decides that this is a Black Ajah hunt, she brings the one person that she trusts into this hunt with her: Pevara of the Red Ajah. Who is our token Actual Good Red Ajah character who shows us a different side of the Red Ajah as a whole. The Red Ajah forced Pevara to end their friendship when she joined the Ajah. But the reason that Seaine is certain that Pevara can be trusted with this is because her family was murdered by Darkfriends. This chapter is SO GOOD honestly, from start to finish.

35. Pevara is plump, short, and pretty, with a merry twinkle in her eyes and a ready smile, and she’s openly argued that the Red Ajah would find Warders useful, actually. The first thing Pevara does is apologize for cutting her off after she became Red Ajah and say that she wished she’d approached her years ago. Seaine doesn’t hold it against her. “We cannot go against our Ajahs when we are young, and later, it seems impossible to retrace our steps.”

36. Oooh! Pevara has been convinced for a WHILE that the Black Ajah were real. She suspects those two Amrylins dying so closely together right after the Aiel War seemed very suspicious and suspected the Black Ajah’s hand (correct!). Seaine has logic’d out that Black Ajah sisters must still be able to lie and get around the Three Oaths, so confronting sisters directly isn’t where they should start. “If any sister wrote that she did one thing when we can prove she did another, then we have found a Darkfriend.”

37. Rand is in a gray depression after Perrin leaves (no more Two Rivers people in his life at all; I would be depressed too) and doesn’t stir for days, only able to react once Min shows up and is let into his rooms despite his orders. I really am pretty sure at this point that Sulin was sent away because she has too much of an emotional connection to Rand and that job has now been assigned to Min. I will keep an eye out but I... I suspect that Rand’s special relationship with the Maidens is going to begin to fade into the background now that Min is here. Which I really hate because I have adored Rand’s found family with the Maidens.

38. He is also fighting hard against an arrogance that is threatening to overtake him, fighting against the urge to use all the power contained in the Choeden Kal, as he has now hidden the access key ter’angreal behind his wardrobe in his room in Cairhien. “He was the Dragon Reborn, the only hope of the world against the Dark One. And the Light help the world for it.” Rand’s increasing arrogance wars against his self-hate. He dreams of all the women who have died ‘because of him’ (he is very loose in his definition). Has nightmares that he killed Perrin during that staged fight of theirs. He has nightmares of being back in the box and taken out to be beaten again. Nightmares of trying to go to the White Tower to confront Elaida and seeing not only the Tower united against him, but Egwene and Nynaeve and Elayne on her side as well. He has nightmares about what Cadsuane said about madmen hearing voices in their heads and begs Lews Therin to talk to him again. And he’s terrified to realize that Alanna’s presence at the back of his mind has started to comfort him.

39. More violence from Min in the Rand-Min relationship as she ‘jolts’ him out of his self-hating depression.

40. Anyway, Rand tells Min he loves her, and that he loves Elayne and Aviendha. Min says that’s chill or whatever, and Rand officially makes Min his exemption in his policy of Send Away Everyone I Love To Protect Them, so that happened.

41. Yeah, Nandera kinda semi-officially hands over the duties of Caring For Rand to Min here. I’m sad, y’all. I hope we still get SOME found family scenes in the future. We sorta get one here but it’s still mostly about Min.

42. Anyway, Rand finally goes to the Sea Folk and doesn’t prepare for it at all. The arrogance definitely has him strongly in its grip. He assumes they will just bow down before him and give him whatever he wants. Honestly, Rand’s bounce from depression to arrogance here is pretty concerning.

43. Yeah, Rand is 100% embracing all the pomp and circumstance that used to majorly bother him and is attempting to use it to overawe the Sea Folk into just accepting whatever they need to accept about him so that he can go back to his ~important work. I’d be miffed at him too. As always, Rand’s awareness of the ‘honor’ being done to him is married to his certainty that almost everyone around him hates and resents him.

44. Tracking Rand’s PTSD & taint-related symptoms:

paranoia - he feels like he can only fully trust a very short list of people that consists almost entirely of his lovers or people who knew him before he was known as TDR

recklessness - despite his worries about the dangers of the world, he tends to leap in first without his guards way too often

more susceptible to flattery/arrogance - this one is very much on display right now

allowing his lust to control his choices (per the text, that’s why he sent Berelain away; he was too attracted to her and felt like he couldn’t have her around)

moodiness that comes in three flavors: cold rages (this was one of his first symptoms; he notes early on in the series that he’s having a harder time controlling his temper than when he was younger), gray depression (this started when he was kidnapped by the Tower Aes Sedai, so that one goes very much into the ‘definitely PTSD’ bucket for me), and a giddy and talkative form of mania (Min calls this euphoria a little later on and we’ve previously seen it before around Perrin and Mat; it might only come out around people that Rand trusts)

self-loathing/suicidal tendencies, which relates back to his recklessness, I think. Rand doesn’t hold his own life as very valuable, except as coin to spend at the Last Battle. This also started appearing very very early on.

specifically from his time in the box, we know that he hates confined or dark spaces

45. Yeah, Rand has become very very certain that he “knows” and understands what all the prophecies mean and believes that he can sweep aside everyone as he barrels towards the Last Battle. Again, this is a place where I think having what is essentially a ‘live-in fortune teller’ is a bad thing for him, especially when it seems like she does more to encourage and facilitate his certainty than she does to caution him to combat it.

46. Rand does basically overawe the Sea Folk into agreeing to the basics of what he needs but then he can’t fight his fear over being trapped in a small space anymore and has to leave with the Bargain mostly undone, with Merana to finish the rest. Harine does give him the useful information that the Seanchan have likely ALREADY returned to the western coast.

47. Min apparently now also cares about having ~light ~delicate furniture (she notes that she never cared before). She’s considering completely remodeling Rand’s rooms in Cairhien despite not having cared about home furnishings and linens before now. No but seriously wtf? I guess sleeping with Rand activated her dormant ‘housewife’ genes. “she was not one of those fool women who tossed their brains at a man’s feet along with their hearts”. you are literally the main example of this sort of woman in this entire series.

48. “whenever Mat or Perrin was present” lol the TWO TIMES that you’ve ever seen Mat, yes. Anyway, Min sees her purpose in life as “keeping up Rand’s spirits”. She suggests Rand "comfort her again” instead of going out to visit the rebels (he’s going out to visit the rebels because he feels like he’s on a ta’veren streak). She also notes that he is in the grips of a euphoria that seems as concerning as his depression, which is her first time encountering this side of him, I think.

49. We learn that Rand goes out without the Maidens “all the time” (yes, that’s exactly why no one knew he was missing when he was in the Box; he has not hidden this tendency as well as he believes that he has), which is that recklessness of his that has led into so many troubles for him. And will do so this time as well.

50. “she was ready to leap if he crooked a finger; she just wanted to make sure he never found out” I will MAIL YOU some freaking self-respect, Min. Please just give me your address.

Rand: expects Min to jump when called

Min: jumps when called

also Min: wow I hope he doesn’t ever find out that I jump when he calls

51. ...did Min really not realize that Rand was going to meet the rebels in person? Why is she surprised and attributing this to Rand being ta’veren? He literally told her this was his plan?? Also:

Rand: I love Elayne and Aviendha too much to be near them. It would put them in Too Much Danger!

also Rand: Hey, Min, come and meet the nobles who are rebelling against me and I will even tell the first one we meet who I am. I’m sure it won’t be dangerous at all.

He is just going to constantly & casually haul her into so many dangerous situations in the future. Not EVERY dangerous situation that he goes into, but a surprising number.

52. For someone who keeps saying she doesn’t like to share her viewings with people, Min is constantly sharing her viewings with people. Wait here a moment, MIN REALIZES SOME OF HER VIEWINGS ARE SELF-FULFILLING PROPHECIES: “Sometimes, before she had learned better, it had happened because she warned”. Then why do you keep telling so many viewings to Rand? Make it make sense, Min. Earlier in this very section, she thought about how she “could hardly wait” to share a viewing with Rand about Lord Darlin.

53. Anyway, we do learn the valuable information that Fain is here, chilling with the rebels against Rand. I guess that’s where he went after his assassination attempt using Whiteclocks on Rand failed? Min sees no viewings around him at all. I think I read a theory somewhere that she never saw viewings that touched the Shadow and Fain was a Darkfriend before he was More Than A Darkfriend.

54. Cadsuane is also here, chilling with the rebels. This scene could have been cut down a lot imo. So of the Aes Sedai, there’s Caddy and her two buds, and four Red Ajah that have recently arrived. Though I have to admit if Min and Rand’s relationship weren’t rubbing me the wrong way, I would probably find it sweet in a poly sort of way that Min and Rand are pretending to be married while using Elayne’s family name.

55. Rand agrees to duel with Toram, the Lord that is Fain’s companion. They duel for a while; they’re both blademasters, and then there’s a wall of fog that attacks everyone, killing one of the Red Ajah sisters. Rand does work together with Cadsuane, her group, Darlin, Caraline, and Toram to escape the attacking fog. Bubble of evil, maybe? Or maybe a Fain thing? Rand uses balefire to destroy one of the fog monsters, revealing that he can channel. Toram runs off at the sight and the realization that this is TDR, but Darlin sticks around. Cadsuane hits Rand for using balefire but he’s more concerned about telling her that the Lews Therin in his head is real.

56. Fain abruptly leaps out of the fog to attack Rand, scoring him along his side. Samitsu heals him and takes note that Something Is Wrong, revealing that Rand was cut by Fain exactly over the top of his old unhealing wound from Ishamael. They take him to the Sun Palace as quickly as possible, which is not incredibly fast.

57. Min spills out the entire story of Rand’s trauma with Aes Sedai and the box to Cadsuane, her companions Samitsu & Niande, and Darlin and Caraline. So Rand doesn’t get to share this with someone in a way where he gets reassurance, but people he doesn’t trust get to know the full extent of his trauma. “He wanted it kept secret” but Rand is never allowed any privacy or any choice about what business of his gets shared, even as everyone keeps secrets from him. Anyway, I guess that’s an additional reason that Min was on that trip with Rand, so that she could trauma-dump on people about what he went through. As much as I hate Rand goes places without telling people what he’s doing, things like this show why he feels like he needs to do it. Because if people know anything about him, they will tell other people. At this point, it kinda feels like Mat is the only person who has ever actually kept Rand’s secrets for him.

58. Anyway, I will make a mental note that Cadsuane Knows that Rand was heavily abused by a large group (39 sisters) of Aes Sedai. Cadsuane’s reaction to hearing this is to tell Rand’s unconscious body: “I will not hurt you more than I must”, while the sisters with her are way more focused on him having stilled three Aes Sedai. Min regrets that she told them everything but, well, too late now!

59. “Rand was the only thing she cared about. The only thing in the world.“ Trust me, Min, we all know that.

60. In the flurry, the asha’man arrive and Dashiva orders Flinn to heal Rand. Cadsuane’s only reaction to meeting them is to add more “boys” to her "needs manners” list. Flinn is able to Heal Rand somewhat better -- he won’t die now. Samitsu is over her fear and now demands to know how his version of healing works. What Flinn did was seal the wounds off from Rand’s body while leaving them to fight each other -- they are two different kinds of evil and dislike interacting.

61. Mat has learned from Birgitte that his spear is called an “ashandarei”. He is with Elayne and some of the Kin to go to the warehouse where he’s pretty sure the Bowl of the Winds is. Mat is so despairing and miserable over how Tylin has him trapped and “helpless”. Also, the way that Tylin is basically telling Elayne and Nynaeve that she’s abusing Mat but coding it just enough that they don’t pick up on it makes me want to throw things. Elayne, in a doubtful tone: “the queen said she finds you wonderfully entertaining and courteously compliant”.

62. This is also the section when Jordan starts transitioning to “but actually he doesn’t mind!” which he kinda goes back and forth on. But he talks about Mat enjoying himself “in sections” when “he could forget he was with a woman who thought he was some sort of bloody doll”. Basically the “it isn’t rape if you have an orgasm” argument, which we all know is BS.

63. Lan arrives with Nynaeve, which is how Mat finds out he’s in Ebou Dar. We learn that Lan and Nyneave got married last night by “Atha’an Miere custom”. Something that seems super-weird to me in this book series is how people outside a culture, if they get married by someone inside that culture, are apparently bound to follow all that culture’s traditions for married life. Having an Atha’an Miere wedding doesn’t mean you’ve magically become Atha’an Miere. This issue comes up later, too, where someone considers themselves bound by another culture’s wedding traditions even though they have no reason to want to be a part of that culture. A wedding isn’t a magic spell?

64. Lan tells Mat both that Moghedien killed his two men and also that Nynaeve didn’t want him to tell Mat about it. Mat literally thinks he would rather face Moghedien, one of the FORSAKEN, than he would see Tylin again (and Tylin has now moved him into her own apartments) and he thinks he’s about to start crying. “I say no and she laughs at me” kinda sums it all up.

65. Elayne found out that the red flowers on the basket Tylin gave him means they’re having sex and she immediately accuses him of forcing his attentions on her. Which makes Mat sputter in protest and confess to her that the exact opposite is what is happening. She doesn’t take it seriously at first (she laughs and tells him about what young ladies who catch the eyes of kings do) but eventually (after he offers his medallion for protection against Moghedien) she takes him seriously and says she will explain the situation to Nynaeve (as Nynaeve had already been told the incorrect version).

66. Mat doesn’t understand why his attempt to try to protect her by lending her medallion made her respect him and take him seriously when it’s always pissed her off before when he’s tried to protect her. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure why this is the thing that makes her take him seriously either, when confessing to being forced into sex made her laugh and say it was “a taste of his own medicine”. Maybe because this breaks her previous idea of “who Mat is” more?

67. The Black Ajah sisters find them now, as Elayne has already dashed upstairs, and Nynaeve is shielded by them. Nynaeve tells Mat there’s channeling upstairs and actually asks him “Please” to check it out while she and Lan & the wise women take care of the Black Ajah sisters. Mat comes upon “an ordinary-looking fellow” in a gray coat, who manages to twist one of the women’s necks to kill her. Mat leaps into action to fight him, seeing Elayne lying on the floor and thinking that she’s dead and he’s failed Rand.

68. The man kills Nalesean and Mat is losing the fight against him. And then by chance Mat’s medallion touches him and it burns him. Mat thinks that maybe he can’t win this fight and there’s no point in dying avenging Elayne... and then he sees her hand move and he realizes she’s still alive, so he jumps back into the fight with a vengeance. He breaks off the necklace for his medallion so that he can use it as a weapon. “The first step was the hardest, but he had a promise to keep.” The man runs before Mat can get him, and Elayne calls for him, so he goes to her. Mat is still such a good character and such a good person in this book. He is trapped in an incredibly shitty storyline with Tylin but he himself has remained unbroken so far by it.

69. Elayne sees Mat with new eyes after he fought so hard to protect her and I really really hate that Mat is going to be ripped away from this plotline at the end of this book! We deserved to see how Elayne and Mat’s relationship would shift and change now that he has her respect. Instead, he gets trapped in Ebou Dar with the Seanchan and Tylin. The actual worst narrative choice that Jordan made was dropping that wall on Mat at the end of this book. “You are going to have to let me save you at least once to balance the scales,” Elayne says. Hate that this new dynamic gets cut off at the knees! Mat deserved to finish out this storyline!

70. Mat learned about the man -- gholam -- from Birgitte and shares that knowledge with the Aes Sedai. They were created in the middle of the War of Power, during the ending of the Age of Legends, and created for the express purpose of killing Aes Sedai, which is why channeling doesn’t work against them. There were only six ever made; they have no bones and are incredibly strong. Mat does get everyone to agree to leave and, ugh, another frustration -- MAT is the one who gets the Windfinders to agree to use the Bowl. He’s the one who breaks the stalemate (using being ta’veren, essentially) and then gets punished by the narrative for it, trapped into a horror show (this is not a spoiler; the Seanchan invading anywhere is a horror show by default). This actual scene itself is pretty good though. I love how integrated Mat’s memories are into how he behaves and thinks. It’s such an interesting compare/contrast against Rand.

71. Tylin and Mat’s “goodbye” scene here is so gross. Even more so because, well, he ends up getting trapped in Ebou Dar, so she will have more chances to abuse him in the future. Olver cements my dislike for this book’s version of him by being the reason that Mat has to leave the others and thus gets trapped in Ebou Dar. Disowned entirely. Though, in fairness, the fault truly is with the useless attendant that Tylin assigned to him (to get him out of Mat’s bedroom so that she could continue harassing and abusing Mat) so I guess it’s Tylin’s fault. But, yeah, Mat spends literal hours seaching for Olver, and ends up with a building on top of him as the Seanchan invade.

72. Chapter 40 is entirely Shaido nonsense. There’s loads of torture-porn, essentially, and then they get sent all over the place by Sammael to cause ‘chaos’.

73. Rand wakes up. I wonder if Min will tell him that she spilled his secrets out to Cadsuane. Nope, she just tells him about her viewing that Cadsuane will teach him something important; him and all the asha’man. idk why I’m surprised. Of course she didn’t tell him; why would she want to warn him that someone he doesn’t trust knows some of his trauma? But, yeah, Rand has a rock-solid certainty that Min’s viewings are never wrong, so Min is potentially able to manipulate Rand’s decisions by which viewings she does and does not choose to tell him, whether intentionally or not (we know that she doesn’t tell him everything; notably, she doesn’t tell him that she has had a viewing that she believes has ‘failed’ ...which is something that would puncture his certainty in her viewings).

74. Without Mat there to take charge of the army that was being aimed towards Sammael, Weiramon went ahead with just the calvary, against Rand’s express wishes. Sammael attacked back and Rand realizes that he would have known that Rand was lying in a sickbed; “everyone who had eyes-and-ears in Cairhien knew that the Dragon Reborn lay on the edge of death”.

75. Rand goes to wild lengths to ensure that “no woman” dies in this battle that where hundreds and potentially thousands of men are dying. My sighs are honestly eternal for this bit of characterization. It’s so condescending. Also, Rand is breaking his promise to the Maidens.

76. Anyway, while Sammael focuses on the army that Weiramon is sending at him, Rand goes to his secret army that Bashere is in charge of and channels a gateway right to the center of Illian, and they pour through. And then Rand and the Asha’man Travel all over the city and then channel a wide but harmless set of flows to essentially completely sweep the city so that they can set off every single alert or alarm ward that Sammael might have set up and so that he doesn’t know where they are. And it’s basically a fireworks show!

77. I am so sad that Mat has now TWICE gotten ripped out of important storylines involving other major characters: he was supposed to be the head of the decoy army and not Weiramon! He was supposed to escort Elayne to Caemlyn! And instead he gets spliced into the Seanchan invasion in Ebou Dar and NONE of the plot threads that I am actually interested in seeing him explore are going to happen! It’s so incredibly frustrating.

78. On the plus side, I actually don’t have an issue with Mat’s characterization in this book, except for two points. He’s trapped in the shittiest of situations but still manages to shine a lot of the time. The only two pieces of character development that are unfortunate are Jordan trying to ‘soften’ Tylin’s assault of him by having Mat think that he’s going to miss her and Mat not LIKING women as people anymore for most of the book (with the exception of Birgitte and then Elayne near the end). Which also felt like it was about Jordan trying to soften Tylin’s behavior to me, at the expense of Mat’s character.

79. Rand thinks that Lews Therin HAS to be real because everything that Rand knows about Sammael, everything that he’s using to make this plan work, is information that he got from LTT. But LTT stays silent. you know, maybe the lesson that Rand actually needed to learn from Caddy was “stop using balefire; it’s terrible for the Pattern”.

80. Sammael Travels from Illian to Shadar Logoth, and Rand follows. After spotting some Trollocs, he sees them attacked by a familiar face -- Liah, the Maiden who had been left behind in Shadar Logoth. It takes her a moment, but she recognizes him too. And then flees from him, her shame overwhelming her. Rand chases her as quickly as he can. “Death in a tattered red coat”. Rand.

81. Rand is saved from falling from the floor of a building by a man who tells him “You are a fool. Count yourself lucky I don’t care to see you die today.” He tells Rand to pull himself up, he doesn’t intend to kill Sammael for him. When he sees the man, he thinks of him as a “big fellow a little older than he, with hair black as the night”. He called himself a “wanderer just passing through.” Rand does not recognize his face, so he’s sure the man isn’t one of the Forsaken.

82. lol, after Rand hesitated over using balefire earlier in the scene, he uses it now. I actually approve tbh. When he stopped himself, they were in Illian and other people might have gotten hurt. Here, he uses on the fog of Shadar Logoth. However! The ~odd man~ is also using balefire and their streams cross, and Rand’s head rings like a struck gong afterwards. They both flee out of the building together and Rand demands to know who the man is. “His rescuer stood watching him; covered with dust head to toe, the fellow managed to look a king.”

83. He suggests that the man go to the Black Tower and tells him he doesn’t have to “live afraid of Aes Sedai” and the man snaps back that he’s NEVER been afraid of Aes Sedai. The man advises that Rand leave now but if he insists on staying, try to think like Sammael if he really wants to kill him. The Man (tm) also speaks about Sammael like he knows him personally. The last thing he says to Rand before he leaves is “Try not to stumble. A great many plans will have to be relaid if you let yourself be killed now.”

84. And then our mystery man is gone! Riveted by this dynamic already. I remember that I liked it but, yeah, it starts from the first scene, glued to the page, love it. Well, if Rand can’t have homoerotic tension with his best friend anymore, at least he can have it with Man Who Channels Without Saidin. Which Rand now realizes that he never felt saidin being used when the man channeled the balefire and their streams crossed.

85. Taking the man’s advice that Sammael likes to destroy people in front of their accomplishments, Rand heads to the Waygate as quietly as he can manage. He finds a tower near the Waygate and climbs it to get a better view. He sees Liah get hit by one of Mashadar’s threads of fog and channels without thinking -- he balefires Liah so that she’s dead before she can feel the pain. He sweeps the balefire across the square to catch Sammael in it; since he sweeps it all the way to meet the fog of Mashadar, he’s sure Sammael is dead one way or the other.

86. Rand Skims back to Illian to meet Bashere and the Asha’man. The Council has been eagerly awaiting Rand’s return. The remaining Council of Nine offers Rand Illian. “The crown, and the throne, and all of Illian”. Rand questions it being so easy -- he has never been offered a crown before. He asks why. They tell him the King disappeared two days ago and they fear Lord Brend (that was Sammael) had something to do with it. But, mostly, it’s because the grain he sent from Tear saved many in the city from starvation (Rand set that up way back in TSR!). The Council calls him the King of Illian, but one of his Asha’man, Dashiva, calls him “King of the World” and Rand’s PoV ends with the very ominous thought that he likes the sound of it. Honestly, pretty much everything to do with the taking of Illian and killing Sammael and what happens in Shadar Logoth is really good. For all that I have... oh gosh, MANY issues with this book, this ending for Rand is good. It is quite dark and ominous, even more so than when he took over Cairhien at the end of TFoH and had the nobles swearing fealty to him, but it’s a good kinda dark and ominous.

87. And we end with this idea that a storm is coming.

So... how would I have personally changed this book to make it (imo of course) better?

Assuming that we actually don’t want a fourteen-book series and maybe we wanted to tighten things up a bit, I would completely cut out the Shaido and cut out Tylin harassing and assaulting Mat. If... if we’re married to Mat getting shoved into the Seanchan invasion plotline, then he still has to be trapped in Ebou Dar, but if we aren’t married to it, then let the poor man escape with the others to the farm.

Rand and Min could still have gotten together but (and this change would fold back to LoC) don’t have her reinvent herself in order to appeal to him. Let Rand fall in love with Actual!Min, not this simpering Min who has grown her hair out into ringlets and explicitly thinks Rand is the only thing that matters in the world. The world is so big, Min! Please find something else that matters to you in addition to Rand.

There were also quite a few sections where Jordan goes into way too much detail. Like, I know he was proud of his worldbuilding but... it was pretty excessive at times.

Perrin’s vibe towards Rand isn’t as bad as I remembered it being, tbh, though it is HILARIOUSLY casual compared to how intense Rand and Mat were together. But another change I would make is have Berelain GENUINELY sent along with Perrin for political reasons rather than it being because she’s just Too Hot for Rand to have around now that he has a semi-official girlfriend. And then have her actually do her political things without harassing Perrin. Or let her stay in Cairhien and send Lord Dobraine along with Perrin.

Also, wow, the sheer number of non-consensual elements in this book are, like, wild compared to the previous ones. We had Myrelle raping Lan. We had Tylin raping Mat. We had Valda raping Morgase. I’m pretty sure Thevera is raping Galina too but I was skimming pretty quickly through the Shaido sections. We had Rand thinking that he’d raped Min. We had Elayne assuming that Mat had raped Tylin. We had Berelain’s persistant chase of Perrin start up in earnest, complete with non-consensual touching.

There’s also now a total of four romantic relationships where the woman has punched the man in the stomach hard enough that he’d physically reacted to it (knees buckling being one example) - Faile & Perrin back in TSR, and now Min & Rand, Nynaeve & Lan, and Setelle Anan & her husband all in this one book.

We also really start to get a spotlight on how Rand’s thing about ‘not killing women’ is actually JORDAN’S thing, because it starts to become clear what a difficult time Jordan has killing female villains off vs male villains... but he has zero issue putting those women into degrading & humiliating ‘forever punishments’ (the newest example being Moghedien being literally enslaved to Moridin).

Once the page count starts increasing and the padding starts, we also see more and more of these quirks/kinks of Jordan in the writing, so I wonder if the editing that kept the earlier books leaner and better-paced was also cutting down these kinks of Jordan’s. So, in order to improve ACoS I would have cut down/cut out the violence in sexual relationships, and all the non-consensual elements (since they are NOT handled well).

If Mat is not being raped by Tylin, then it’s possible his sexism also would not have jumped up in this book - imo, Mat’s increasing sexism is a way for Jordan to justify why he gets the evil/villain romances. Tylin is ‘turning the tables on him’ and his future Seanchan lady ‘leashes him’. And at the same time, Mat is an appreciably worse person (towards women) than he was in the books EotW-LoC, so imo Mat’s attitude towards women taking a nosedive is extremely related to his ‘romances’ kicking into high gear (this is one of the things I mean when I say it feels like Mat gets ‘thrown under the bus’ for his ‘romances’). Though markantonys pointed out an alternate viewpoint that also makes sense: Jordan just views sexism as part of being “a grown man” and so the growing sexism is meant to show that Mat is more ready to marry off and become a part of heterosexual marriage culture (it’s a very toxic viewpoint, but I think there’s probably a good chance it’s part of what was in Jordan’s head).

In this section; unnecessary scenes:

The Morgase stuff has gotten excessive at this point, so I’m adding her trauma conga-line to the list: 1 scene (19 pages)

Berelain-Faile jealousy nonsense: 1 scene (1 page)

Mat-Tylin: 1 (2 pages), 1 (2 pages), 1 (2 pages), 1 (6 pages), 1 (6 pages), 1 (2 pages), 1 (1 page)

Cadsuane negging Rand: 1 (1 page)

Shaido nonsense: 1 (14 pages)

I will add these to the total at the end as well.

SLOG TRACKER

The major plot-threads that we entered into A Crown of Swords with:

Rand: defeat Sammael (book 2 of this plot) - COMPLETED.

Elayne & Nynaeve: locate the Bowl of Winds and use it to fix the weather (book 2 of this plot) - NOT completed.

Egwene: Go to the White Tower with her army, confront Elaida, and heal the Tower (book 2 of this plot) - NOT completed.

Mat: Escort Elayne to Caemlyn and see her crowned as Queen (book 2 of this plot) - FAILED.

Perrin: For Perrin, he didn’t have a task coming into ACoS, but he acquires the task to gather up Masema and his Dragonsworn and bring them to Rand (book 1 of this plot) - NOT completed.

The plot-threads that are starting or being carried over to The Path of Daggers:

Rand: ??? for now.

Elayne & Nynaeve: Locate the Bowl of Winds and use it to fix the weather. (3/?)

Egwene: Go to the White Tower with her army, confront Elaida, and heal the Tower (3/?)

Mat: ??? for now.

Perrin: Gather up Masema and his Dragonsworn and bring them to Rand (2/?)

Unnecessary scenes throughout all of ACoS (imo of course):

3 of Shaido nonsense (35 pages)

2 of Berelain-Perrin-Faile nonsense (4 pages)

8 Mat-Tylin scenes (29 pages)

2 of Cadsuane negging Rand (4 pages)

1 Morgase Trauma Conga Line (19 pages)

Total: 91 pages.

There are 664 pages in my copy of ACoS, so that would be 13.7% of the book. And this total doesn’t include scenes that could have been trimmed to be shorter but still been just as clear, which the book definitely had.

I’ve also decided I’m going to keep track of Min viewings that are, imo, bad for Rand’s mental health. So far, we have the vague ominous warnings about Aes Sedai hurting him (LoC) that led him to flee to Cairhien and thus end up in the power of the Aes Sedai who end up hurting him. Telling Rand about the prophecy helped make it happen. I do not think either Min or Rand ever realize this.

In this book, we add that she tells Rand that he needs Cadsuane around to teach him and the Asha’man a lesson.

Though not a viewing, I’m not happy that she told Cadsuane about Rand’s time in the box and then didn’t tell HIM that she’d done it. Cadsuane now has this huge piece of information about Rand and he isn’t aware that she knows! I understand Min being desperate to try to save him, so I can excuse her telling Cadsuane in the first place, but WARN RAND that you’ve done it. And, also, you’d think she would start to guard her tongue after a while but I feel like she keeps blabbing things out to everyone in sight. We will see, I guess!

#wot #wheel of time #wot reread #a crown of swords #wot book spoilers #wot spoilers #the wheel of time

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