#DOES IT WORMS U???

[toomuchdickfort]

HANG ON

#BG3 SPOILERS HERE IN THE TAGS SO IM GONNA RAMBLE A BIT BUT UM #UM UM OK THERES NOTHING DEFINITIVE AT LEAST THAT IVE FOUND #BUT LIKE #HOLD ON #EITHER #EITHER THE EMPOROR IS THE ONE THAT WORMS U IN THAT FORST CUTSCENE OR HE LOOKS DAMN SIMILAR #AND A LOT OF THE ILITHIDS HAVE THE SAME LOOK #OMELUUM IS MORE HUMAN HEAD SHAPED I THINK AND LESS ELONGATED BUT #THE EMPEROR HAS THE FULL MANTLE #THAT. I FONT THINK IVE SEEN ANEHERE ELSE OUTSIDE OF THE GET TADPOLED IDITO CUTSCENE #DOES IT WORMS U??? #IS THAT WHAT RAPHAEL MEANS BY THE ITS THE WHOLE REASON UR IN THIS MES????? #IS HE SAYING THAT THE EMPEROR TADPOLED U??? #ALSO SPEAKING OF #orin also wormed durge. did that worm die or do u just have an extra bug chillin in ur brain as the dark urge? lol #bg3 posting

[malpracticinghomosexual]

dr malpractice and his boy best friend

#blorbos save me #ive been rewatching house bc of the worms in my brain #it’s been two weeks and im already a few eps into season 4 what kind of mental illness is that #i love when people have soso much wrong with them and these two are sooooo insane #so have a little doodle from me to u #they’re bickering abt pop culture and the ethics of setting a patient on fire to raise their body temp #house md #medical malpractice #malpractice md #gregory house #greg house #dr house #james wilson #dr wilson #hilson #hilson fanart #house md fanart #doodle #evvy does art

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!! #LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together #nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH #MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH #emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page #ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words #BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming #like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY. #okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN #edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT #ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!! #“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him #BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!” #TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD #OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process #IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence #REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES! #anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags #U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!

[overleftdown]

deranged post-canon farleigh speculation

so. archie madekwe said something that makes me question a lot of the other post-canon speculation (often quickstart dynamic post-canon fics, speculation, etc.). Basically, he was talking about how tired Farleigh was getting, in the point in time that the movie is set. This is depicted through his confrontation with Felix, which Archie confirmed was the first conversation Farleigh has had with the cattons about the issue of bias.

a review by hilton als briefly touched on farleigh's possible future, as well. it was a very negative and... honestly understandable idea of what farleigh would grow up to become. aka, someone who exploited and tokenized their race for "brownie points," pun not intended. i see a lot of people crafting stories of farleigh finding different ways to rejoin the ultra-rich class. and i kinda wanna say that i... don't like that. here's an anecdote: my cousin and i had a conversation about his experience moving from a white-dominated, suburban environment. he argues that although racism is still prevalent where he now lives, the racism he experienced in his hometown was so painfully, covertly delivered. it's this sort of "could you just call me a slur or something" mentality.

although farleigh is terrified of change, although farleigh is terrified of losing what he believes is an accommodation for his marginalization (it isn't; you can't buy your way out of racism), although farleigh learned to be materialistic through the ways in which he was raised, although farleigh is constantly running away from something--i think he was reaching a point of genuine hatred for the ways in which racism is delivered to him in this environment. i would also go insane. so freakishly insane. i think his conversation with felix made him understand that maybe the cattons will never even try to change. that the cattons couldn't even acknowledge the problem in the first place. that you can't really win, with people like the cattons. it's always a game of when, and never if. when will they finally, politely discard me?

this leaves a couple options. the first, farleigh learns to be financially independent and very much successful. he would never rely on other people again, especially not white people. this leaves room for hilton als' interpretation, but the fact that farleigh was cognizant of and willing to mention racial bias to felix is evidence for me to assume that farleigh is beyond belittling himself like that. farleigh already experienced so much shame from catering towards the cattons and their whiteness... i don't think he'd keep going with that. not with the way it ended. not after he had the horrible wake-up call that was both his cousins dying. so, maybe farleigh does find his way back to wealth. maybe through fashion, through modeling like his mother, through another form of art, through business, whatever.

the other option is that farleigh just... doesn't acquire that level or even close to that level of wealth again. i kinda like this idea. i kinda like imagining farleigh in a city flat or smaller suburban house, finding a significant other and probably never ever having kids. that, of course, still leaves room for farleigh to go and brutalize oliver out of saltburn. but i'd like to think he wouldn't take saltburn back. as i've said before, farleigh was never greedy. he never wanted to replace or succeed the cattons, nor did he want any form of dominance over them. to be their equal, yes. to be seen and heard and given attention, yes. but never did he play his games to knock felix or venetia down. i feel like farleigh would be the "eat the rich" that saltburn didn't have. not in the corny way, because farleigh is no robin hood, nor is he an innocent and selfless person.

my ideal "sequel" type situation would be farleigh returning to saltburn after living comfortably and humbly for the last 20 years. he's not here out of moral obligation. he's not here to steal back the catton wealth. he's here selfishly, and out of burning hatred. he's here because oliver stole any sense of closure farleigh could've ever had. he's here because oliver never gave farleigh the opportunity to forgive his family, nor to mourn them, nor to visit those memories, nor to make new ones. farleigh is here to wreck oliver's shit. it's not healthy, it's not pretty, it's not clean. i'd imagine 40-year-old farleigh, having matured, returning to saltburn and regressing to the same games he always used to play. lying, people pleasing, pretending, sex, drugs, sass, etc. ahhh. my ideal sequel. a man who found peace without closure and finds closure through a significant lack of peace. and, also, oliver dead as hell.

#farleigh start #i have class in 6 hours and i need sleep #saltburn #i threw this down in 15 minutes #it's not good and is in fact deranged #do u guys get me tho #i'm sure if emerald fennell were to write this sequel then maybe the quickstarters would b right #but i kinda hope she would maybe like #she does talk about quickstart as like a #idek #i love emerald #but i have Thoughts on this movie #and this character. #and these fans. #and arghgdjflds #i just want oliver to be CRUSHED #LIKE A WORM #i wouldn't care if emerald added in the hate sex that you freaks so DESPERATELY crave #like I KNOW I KNOW THEY'RE HOT?? #whateverrrr i care more about angst #guys angst mmmmmmmmmm #being asexual is so funny sometimes #i feel like i'm watching penguins in their little enclosure #deprived of freedom #sliding around and feral and slapping each other because they're in an enclosure #i'm so tired help me #i just mean that #you guys are funny like i cannot imagine living life with this craving that u guys r being crushed by #“cmon guys where is the farleigh x reader fanfiction cmon guys” like hello? hello hi? #i'm flipping the script actually

[ashleyeveerson]

CANARIES, NIGHT SHIFT AND THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL (tma/tmagp/arg spoilers)

Along with everyone else in the fandom, I'm also going FERAL after these new ep so excuse this RANT (this is my way of coping with the brain worms, enjoy ;).

Statement begins.

So what's special about the RedCanary story?

Well, apart from it being a direct reference to the original Magnus Institute (at least the one in this new universe), it's also incredibly fascinating as a narrative tool.

For those who are unaware of their history, miners used to employ canaries in cages while they worked as safety systems. The bird's complexion made them specially sensible to gas leaks which killed them instantly. When a canary stoped singing in the middle of the shift, the workers knew that toxic gas was leaking and had enough time to get out of the mines alive before it got to them.

Now why is that relavant to us? Well, the theme of canaries in cages inside mines could be easily applied to the og tma characters. All of them were contained in cages (that is the Magnus Institute) and placed close enough to danger (in their case the paranormal) that only they were aware of its existence while the rest of humanity remained ignorant. That is until the events of the apocalypse when the gas metaphorically leaks everywhere and all humanity is doomed.

However, this proximity to the fears ALWAYS results in the death of the canaries that stayed inside the mines (no i will never get over my blorbos being killed). Everyone involved with the institution dies EXCEPT from Melanie, Georgie and Basira. That is, the only three canaries that actively escaped their cages before the toxic gas got to them.

Therefore, the use of this metaphor at the start of the ep (especially from none other than the voice of Jon Sims, the character who has walked down the path of learning about the entities) is a warning to Sam against investigating the paranormal.

The statement is encountered by Sam because he, above all other characters, is the one who is most likely to end up like Jon and the others. The species of Red Canaries is human breed, therefore Sam being a result of experimentation within The Magnus Institute means he was RAISED to be a canary. Thus, there is an inherent irony on the warning, for it is what PUSHES him to develop an interest on the statements and leads him closer to his tragic destiny.

Another proof that links canaries and the workers at O.I.A.R. is the nature of their habitat. I haven't seen a lot of people talking about it, but there are multiple references in the first and second ep of them working the nightshift. Now, why would a filing job be carried out exclusively at night? (THERE ARE SO MANY REFERENCES TO IT BEING A NIGHTSHIFT I AM NOT KIDDING)

This one is specially interesting because it's the first thing we hear in the podcast. Also Teddy metaphorically being the canary that leaves the mines and the darkness to escape into the outside world and the sun.

Multiple references to it being just the FIRST night of an eternity of nights. (cosmic horror much?)

In any case, there is a parallel between darkness of night and the darkness inside the mines. (or even the entity of the dark, one of the oldest alongside the hunt and the end). I see what you're doing Jonny Sims....

SO YEAH IN CONCLUSION

canaries = characters close to danger (AWARE OF THE ENTITIES)

the miners = the rest of humanity (UNAWARE OF THE ENTITIES)

cages = The Magnus institute/O.I.A.R (TRAPS the canaries)

the fears = toxic gas (HARMS the canaries and miners)

darkness in the mines = the night shift

Statement ends.

*stands in front of a white board with red string linking everything, and the dark scribbled in black marker in the center* I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THIS RANT *tries to fix my disheveled hair that i messed up during the presentation* I AM SO NORMAL ABOUT TMA AND TMAGP Please feel free to discuss in the comments, I NEED THEORIES, I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS WITH SOMEONE!!!

#is it longer than i planned? #yes #it's jonny's sims fault for giving me the brain worms #this hyperfixation's got a bit of a KICK to it ngl #i don't need sleep i need answers #WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN #whenever i rant i need u to imagine me barging into your room with a whiteboard and gesticulating to you violently like an annoying entity #tma #tma spoilers #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #theory #discussion #i am going insane #the magnus archives #the magnus protocol

[pointmetostrs]

still not over the fact that taylor hebert was written by a man. and im not even saying this in a bad way but to point out how funny it is that taylor is canonly heterosexual and cis when taylor hebert is literally the funniest person to attach that label to. from her descriptions of other women in the text (taylor hebert admiring other girls? very possible!) to the way she compares herself and lisa to a wlw couple, to even her depiction of her relationship with brian. i think it’s just funny that taylor is canonly straight when everything in the text could be used to argue shes anything but straight.

#taylor hebert #worm #parahumans #shes so funny #wormblogging bc i have worm brainrot AGAIN #its funny bc u can tell worm is written by a man bc taylor ends up kinda admiring the women shes describing does that make sense #like it backfired #but its funny

[suckerforfluff]

is it fucked up that as a filipino i dont know any filipino mc streamers or filipino streamers in general? like the ones who actually stream in tagalog/bisaya/ilocano/ilonggo/whatever dialect???

like im so envious of the ppl who are like "so and so was my childhood im excited to see them in qsmp" and here i am like "wow filipino streamers huh can't wait to meet them ^_^"

#qsmp #i would also like to preface this post by saying im from the middle of mindanao and i spent all my life hating manila #motherfucking manila why do they always get all the conventions and concerts #most of the ppl from manila ive interacted with online/irl when they learn im from mindanao say 'wait you have internet?' fuck off fuck you #actually now that i think about it maybe i dont want filipinos on the qsmp our country is so fucked up it's like the tower of babel #like what if theyre out of touch rich kids or worse like what if theyre from manila? like i cant handle that #dapat yung laki sa hirap dapat yung probinsyano #coco martin for qsmp #payag ako na tagamanila kung laki sa hirap #ALSO WE HAVE SO MANY DIALECTS LIKE HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK? #like are they only recruiting tagalog streamers or are there cebuanos and ilonggos too? maybe even maguindanaoans? im reaching #when q said he was researching a country with an interesting culture i hope it was us #pilipinas as a country is just a whole can of worms and it sure is interesting #i also spent most of my life hating spanish ppl for colonizing our country haha and now im learning spanish haha how ironic #actually no im like cellbit im learning mexican #hi mexican ppl did u know our countries are like colony twins #girl no one is reading this

[martianbugsbunny]

What this website really needs is a button that will allow me to filter all y/n content out of my feed so I don't ever have to see it because I absolutely can't stand it, my ass does not want to be in a relationship with my favorite characters my ass wants them to be dating each other

#also no salt at people who do like it it's just really not my personal perference #it just kinda icks me out #also y/n is just awkward to read I'm sorry but it is #(also if u see me posting I wish X was my bf/gf/nbf no u don't and it's a theoretical anyway) #I don't want to read fic about me and Character X #I want to read fics about Character X and Character Y and in some cases Character Z #ALSO IF THERE IS A BUTTON THAT DOES THAT ROAST ME GENTLY #and I don't mean the filtered tags thing bc you can still see the posts in ur feed u just can't look at them #I know it's a semantic difference but it would also be irritating to scroll through a character tag #and be seeing THIS POST CONTAINS FILTERED CONTENT in every two to three posts #anyway that's my little grumble for the evening #once again: no salt to people who like this stuff that's not what we're here for I'm glad it makes them happy #this is literally just my own personal feelings do not assign other motives to it bc I will throw worms at you #that just feels like a thing u have to say on the internet sometimes #martianbugsbunny opines

[wormswurld]

the duality of man is real and i am living proof. i am the worlds #1 girlfailure. nothing better than doing drag w ur packer on. gender = affirmed. GO WOKE GO BROKE LIBERALS !!!!! 🦅🇺🇸🏈

#lmao the way i stole this shirt from my 13 year old sister cuz i barely have any fem clothes #who is this beautiful young man and why does he look like a girl #more irl worm face for u freaks 🙂 #i am a shapeshifter of the night #drag makeup #drag queen #lgbtqia #transgender #queer #genderqueer #shitpost #coquette

[sadhorsegirl]

ms. moiraine wheel of time really does make me feel like my brain is getting tossed around the trunk of a monster truck lmao

throughout the series you have all these characters going "woe is me, i am trapped by destiny and fate i cannot escape the narrative of my life 😔" (justifiably) and then moiraine is literally like. sorry im built different and becomes the only character to actually manage to CHANGE her destiny and avoid the life she didn't want aka she runs away from being placed on the sun throne, but in doing that she ends up on an even wilder, more complicated life path dictated largely by outside forces

like she manages to give fate the run around, but at the same time escaping the sun throne is the exact thing that sets her up to hunt down the dragon reborn. it's just so neat that a story about how being "the chosen one" or whatever sucks and severely limits the kind of life u get to have gets kicked off in part bc of one oddball woman's choice and agency

and i haven't even touched all the ancestral legacy and guilt stuff with laman etc!!!! aka every step taken by people before she was born set her in the exact right place to end up finding rand!!! did she even get to make a real choice in the end!!!

she's trapped in never ending circles......wheels even........

#do u think she is as haunted by the narrative as i am? likely!!! #moiraine is prob half as focused as she is bc if she takes a minute to breathe she'll have an existential crisis of truly epic proportions #this is so unhinged xbsvavqnqmakal #sorry to all the mutuals who havent had to to deal with any fandom posts from me for at least half a decade #but um. she COMPELS #hopefully any of this makes sense but if it doesnt yet it does.... #cant begin to describe the brains worms ive gotten from reading a decades old fantasy series #moiraine damodred #wheel of time #wot book spoilers #not really but just to be safe lmao...!

[ozlices]

i dont think enough credit is given to edward elric for being the funniest character to ever exist solely on account of the fact that he MET GOD. MULTIPLE TIMES. AND YET HE'S AN ATHEIST

based honestly no other character can ever compare to how based but also hilarious that is. he literally met god then goes to a church and is like 'yall foolish for believing in god bro he aint real'

EDWARD YOU LITERALLY MET GOD

#mine #i do think it also does speak to how incredibly he's written as a character though #bc like. by all means. he should come off as insufferable and arrogant for being Like That but instead he's just incredibly endearing #and like. a genuinely good person. he just runs on spite. as he should. he does have a lot to be spiteful about #i mean god did like. literally steal his brother's ENTIRE BODY like he does have every right to be as spiteful as he is #it's just also very funny. #fma #fmab #religion// #i mean also in his defense when it comes to the church thing he was going there to bring down a false priest taking advantage of ppl #so. u know. he had a point. but u also get mine on why it's just rly funny. as a concept #also this isnt to open up any cans of worms dont be fucking weird im talking abt an anime. dont make this deeper than it is be normal pleas

[fisheito]

slithering out from under a rock or something to inform you that you DO have followers who are yaku lovers <3 he's been my fave since day one and i would love to accompany him to the farmers market

ah.. i sit corrected... valuable confirmation of intel. *enters it manually into the nucadex* where to find yakufans: farmer's market (they will be farming and/or marketing)

#i also am likely to be found in such an environment #i will be talking to the mushroom people for 20 minutes #my non-browsey friends in the background lingering like bored toddlers for the first 3 mins #until i start gesturing wildly about logs. then they give up and start wandering #oh no they got started on the logs this ain't wrapping up any time soon #that last post definitely brought out more yakufans than i've seen around these parts!! #like the rain brings out the worms (～￣︶￣)～ #hello everyone. thank u for visiting. make sure to grab a soil bag on ur way out (it is moist and finely textured) #gently scooping the wild yakufans back into their habitat so they may resume stealthy slithering #i'm gonna start joking about nucadex collecting now #u raise an eyebrow at me. i sigh. i know i knooooow #just because ppl share similar interests does not mean they are similar creatures #individual differences stronger than group differences yadayada yes we understand this implicitly #and i do so enjoy having a diverse biome of fans around me. FOR EXAMPLE: #YOINKS the wolfboy fans by the scruff of their necks #u can't do this to yakufans. but these guys??! built of sturdier stuff. #uses one of those long distance ball throwers to launch them across the field (they are chuckling mildly mid-flight) #BUT FOR THE JOKES 🙌👌👌 FIND YOUR LOCAL YAKUFAN AT THE PLACE THEY SELL FRESH FRUTAS #asks

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

this is so unbelievably gojo to me

#no single other character encapsulates the ”would u still love me if i was a worm 🥺” bf like gojo does #hhhh im missing him again and its terminal 😔😔 #gojo satoru

[eyndr-stories]

super duper obsessed with 'Our Orbit is Elliptical' by @sycopomp & @madame-mongoose so I did some doodles about it :D

Yall seriously go read the fic and look at the art if u haven't its *chefs kiss* VERY GOOD

#im Trouser's number one fan <3<3 love me a big floofy cat #i wish i could draw cats better loll #in my noggin i imagine trouser as a maine coon since theyre big ol fluffy cats!! theyre also my favorite cats lol #anyhoo if either of you see this hello ur awesome thank u for the brain worms <3 #fnaf sb #moondrop #daycare attendant #sundrop #fnaf moon #fnaf sun #fnaf y/n #fnaf yn #fnaf daycare attendant #security breach #fnaf security breach #ooie #our orbit is elliptical #eyndr does art

[freetheworms]

A VERY HAPPY BIRTH TO EVERYONES FAVOURITE MINERAL, @pass-the-salt !!!!

i did the lines, @smolalienbee did the colour, and together we bring you the skrunkliest stargate atlantis ship: carson x rodney ft. a train because we just know you too well <3

#and yes this DOES take place in detrevachol of worm birthday fame thank u for asking #stargate atlantis #stargate #mcbeck #carson beckett #rodney mckay #carson x rodney #gracie draws

[miekasa]

mie im so sorry i just keep sending you stuff i swear this will be the last onw for awhile

nanami, the handsome, but moreover, respectable and good man of the town, the owner of the bakery in the capital. every mom in town is literally pushing their daughters into his presence, just hoping that he might notice them. he doesn’t, though, as his greatest love in his current life was baking and taking care of his ancestral family business.

nanami who returns from a neighboring country after a year long apprenticeship and god… he’s even more skilled but also even more handsome; broader, taller and somehow even more charismatic. the knights believe that the rigorous curriculum he endured makes him a perfect candidate for you. you are both acquainted, through the countless times you had visited his bakery to have a taste of his town-renowned pastries. they’re so full and smooth, so obviously crafted with love and care. it’s nothing surprising though, as he’s so pleasant himself, the gentle and fleeting touches between you two when you visit him in the silent and dark hours of the early morning, away from the eyes of the court, always make you unusually bashful.

you think nothing of it until a knight hands you a list of the most eligible men in the country and abroad; accomplished and noble men alike, but at the bottom of the list lies nanami’s name. you must admit, he’s quite dear to you, and he would make a fine consort.

— doc dad levi anon

Hehehe. First of all, I’m sorry you sent this in literally MONTHS ago, and I let it rot in my drafts. Finally stumbling upon it again, and I would like us to consider: it’s Satoru, your head knight and personal advisor, who pushes for Kento to be a candidate. Kento is well-loved, strong, determined, skilled, and most importantly in Satoru’s eyes, seems to care for you, and not just the throne you sit upon. 

Satoru also knows a thing or two about the elders of your cabinet, and when you give him a look when you see Kento’s name, Satoru does a terrible job of hiding his grin, “What, do you not approve?” 

You frown, “That’s not the matter, and you know it, Satoru. He doesn’t deserve to deal with the council’s disapproval if I were to pick him. He has a life of his own, one that I will not uproot for trivial reasons, nor for you to entertain yourself by upsetting the elders.”  

Satoru hums at your explanation, carefully taking the scroll from your hands and rolling it into his. He lets that smile creep back onto his lips when he eyes your furrowed brows, expertly flicking the end of the rolled paper in the middle of your forehead. 

“You ought to be greedier, my princess,” Satoru chuckles, “And have a little faith in me. I was left in charge of your list of bachelors, but those old idiots approved of every name—I didn’t even have to make a case for him—I’d say it’s a sign! He’s quite handsome, don’t you think? Other princes are boring and desperate, plus think of all the fine sweets he could teach the kitchen staff to make!” 

You should punish him for hitting you, but you can’t seem to care, only letting his words swarm your mind. So, you heed your advisor’s words, and luckily, Kento makes time for you, graciously allowing you to visit the following week, long before the bakery is to open for the day. You have to question him honestly, unable to drink the tea he’s brewed until you ask, “Did Satoru put you up to this? He can be protective and intimidating when he wants to be, but you needn’t fear if he’s threatened you. I’ll ensure you’re left alone, and I apologize on his behalf if he—” 

You pause, only because you believe this is the first time you’ve heard the baker laugh. It’s light, warm, steady, even. You know Kento to flash an earnest smile from time to time, an enamored one when he’s teaching Yuuji a new technique that he masters quickly, a gentle one when feeding the birds stale crumbs—but true, ringing laughter is new to you. 

“I was neither threatened, nor coerced, by Gojo,” Kento clarifies, reaching for a wooden jar of honey to his left, “He proposed the prospect to me a little over a year ago, and I informed him that I would be willing, so long as I had your mutual approval.” 

“A year ago?” 

Kento nods in confirmation, sweetening your tea to your liking before closing the jar, “He told me it would likely not come to this, but that your elders have been planning to arrange a contest for your hand, should you not choose a suitor within their preferred time frame.”

You nod slowly, grimacing slightly at the reminder—you know it’s only thanks to Satoru’s pestering, and quite frankly, frightening reputation, that they have not had you to take a husband by force. Still, it doesn’t explain why Satoru would be informing Kento of such sensitive information long before an official call for eligible bachelors. 

“He is the one who arranged my apprenticeship, and who provided for Yuuji in my absence, but I accepted both of my own volition. Just as I have accepted the honor to court you, if you’ll have me,” Kento finishes stirring your tea before placing it carefully in front of you. When he looks up, he can see the steam of the hot water dancing in front of your face, swaying slightly when he speaks, “And I am prepared to fight for you hand, and your freedom, if it comes to it.”

#anonymous #i call it mastermind: 8k words / royal au / gojo has eyes everywhere / kento can knead more than dough w those arms amen #ok but hear me out: most everyone has no objection to kento but it does stick out that he's the only man without a royal lineage on the list #gojo keeps pushing that that's a non-factor (and actually a PLUS) but ur mi #*but ur military advisor suguru is not nearly as convinced. thinks a commoner would have even more reason to exploit you for your status #in short gojo thinks u should marry kento sweets and bread aside / suguru thinks u should marry another royal and boost both kingdoms' power #oh oh oh ive got it kento brings bread or something as a courting gift and one of suguru's proposed bachelors 100% poisons it to frame kento #bc he knew (and everyone knew) kento seemed to be favored over the other bachelors #and now suguru has reason to lock up kento; gojo thinks something fishy is going on; you just wanna see nanami #and megumi is lowkey just happy his dogs didnt have any bread this time 💀 #or no wait maybe someone poisons kento's gifts but the dogs have it instead of u and they get sick and megumis like someones trying to kill #yes i WILL find a way to worm satoru into this!!!!! he will NAWT be left behind!!!! #nanami x reader